Cost of Taste | ✓

Cost Of Taste [Cost of Taste | ✓]

ᴄᴏsᴛ ᴏғ ᴛᴀsᴛᴇ

TVL (Cookery) x ABM

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No copy of this story should be posted in any other site without the author's
authorization or without putting the proper credit. Story belongs to Alluringli of
Wattpad. do not copy.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and

incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a
fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual
events is purely coincidental.

Practice respect by not bringing the names of other characters from other authors
in this story. Also, please do not comment the names of my characters in the
stories of other authors.

Do not engage in any fight. If you do not agree with someone, please have a kind
discussion. Any rude and hostile behavior will lead to being muted.

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Started: June 29, 2020

Ended: November 2, 2020
REVAMPED:

ｓｅｎｉｏｒｓ ｓｅｒｉｅｓ [Cost of Taste | ✓]

ｓｅｎｉｏｒｓ ｓｅｒｉｅｓ # 2

1# Hold You Accountable

(STEM & ABM)

2# Cost of Taste
(ABM & TVL- Cookery)

3# Pursuing Our Freedom

(STEM & HUMSS)

4# Embrace Your Assets

(ABM & ABM)
5# Bits of Chemistry
(STEM & STEM)

You can read in any order because the stories may stand alone on their own.
(All stories contain spoilers for the other books.)

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COMPLETE

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This story might contain loopholes, typographical, grammatical errors that will be
edited once I have found an available time. Thank you for your kind understanding!

This is the revamped version. I have altered the first draft of this story and it
might differ A LOT from the original plot which I considered a little too inspired
from makjang dramas. This story may have over-the-top elements because of that
reason. The characters may also not aligned to your liking. Nevertheless, it does
not affect the preceeding and next installment of this series.

CONTENT WARNING:
This might contain strong languages and explicit situations that should not be
adapted by young audiences, reading this may require being open minded with certain
issues. Reader discretion is advised. Trigger warnings may be included as this
story will tackle discrimination, sexual innuendoes, violence and slut shaming
among SHS students. You can skip this story and proceed with the other installments
if you're not comfortable with the said themes.

Thank you.

All my love,
Li

Panimula [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Panimula

"Para kang tunog ng martilyo! Pokpok!"

I halted from walking and decided to turn around to face her. Taimtim akong
nagdadasal sa utak ko na sana ay dalawin ako ng mga anghel para nawa'y hindi ko ito
patulan.

Seems the angels were busy because I found myself holding the girl's hair.

Hindi ako nagpapigil at kaagad na hinablot ang buhok niya. Hindi siya kaagad
nakaganti at hindi ko talaga siya hinayaan mahawakan ako.

Kinaladkad ko siya sabay inihiga at pinagsasampal hanggang sa siya na mismo ang

nagtakip ng sarili niyang mukha.

I didn't stop until my palms are already aching. It was satisfying to see her in
this state. Ilang araw na niya akong pinaparinggan at kung anu-ano ang kinakalat
niya sa akin.

Hindi ko na talaga siya sana papansinin pero kahit si Mama ay dinadamay na rin niya
sa mga posts niya.

"Tama na please..." umiiyak na untag niya.

I scoffed at her reaction. Seryoso ba siya? Akala ko ba away ang hanap niya? Did
people really expect that I would just let them get away with it? Hindi porke't
madalas ay hindi ako pumapatol ay iisipin nilang hindi ako lumalaban.

Hindi rin naman talaga maganda ang imahe ko sa karamihan. Why bother keeping a mild
temper?

Para saan pa ang pagpapahaba ko ng kuko at pagtatago nito sa Prefect of Disipline?

Duh?

"Ginagawan na nga kitang pabor e. Pinapantay ko lang 'yung blush on mo!"

Napatigil ako nang may humawak sa kamay ko. Agad akong lumingon sa direksyon nito.

"Ano 'yan?!" may lumapit sa'min na teacher. Agad niyang tinulungan 'yung babae na
ngayon ay mukhang sinabunutan ng sampung kabayo.

Pinagpag ko ang palda ko habang unti-unting tumatayo. Rinig na rinig ko ang

hagulgol niya habang ginagawa ko ito.
This is what irks me the most, ang dali lang talaga maging biktima sa mata ng
karamihan. Lalo na kung may bahid na ng dungis ang ipinipintang kontrabida.

"Bakit mo ginawa ito sa kanya?" nanlilisik ang mga mata ng guro habang dinuduro
ako.

Tangina. Ayoko na mag-explain. Judge me na lang.

Umirap na lang ako at hindi ako sumagot dahil nakabibingi ang pag-iyak nung babae.
She was pointing at me while crying, parang batang inagawan ng candy. Nanginginig
pa ang kanyang braso sa pagturo sa akin.

I did her wrong but did she even consider the fact she was the first one who fired
the shots? Bakit parang ako lang ang may kasalanan?

You spew nasty accusations and you think you deserved the right to pull the victim
card? Aba, hindi ba uso ang verbal abuse sa'yo?

"Ma'am bigla na lang po niya sinampal. di ko nga po alam e..." patuloy lang siya sa
kanyang paghikbi habang ang mga mata'y nakatuon sa akin.

Umawang ang labi ko.

Humalukipkip ako at unti-unting bumabaon ang mga sariling kuko sa aking braso.
Pinipigilan ang nararamdaman na galit.

"Sinabihan niya po ako ng pokpok. Kaya pinatikim ko lang naman sarili ko sa kanya
kasi pokpok ako 'di ba? Ano masarap ba mga palad ko?" nakataas ang kilay ko kay
blush on girl.

She went mum. See? She can't even defend herself! Ang lakas manghamon ng away pero
wala naman palang binatbat.

The teacher looks frustrated. She inhaled some air before shouting at us.

"Go to the Prefect Of Disipline Office now! Both of you!"

"Ma'am! May klase pa po ako sa Pre Cal! Siya na lang po! TVL lang naman 'yan!"

I wanted to refute but I know it's useless. Sa mata ng karamihan, mas mahirap nga
naman mag-aral ng agham, sipnayan at teknolohiya kung ito ay i-kukumpara sa pag-
aaral ng pagluluto.
She thought that she won because I didn't say anything. Her lips formed a small
smirk upon discovering that this might be her victory.

Ha? Asa ka.

“Bumagsak ka sana sa Pre cal mo, baliw!” I spat out and her eyes turned to slits in
anger. Halos nawala ang binubuo niyang demure nang subukan niya akong kalmutin
ulit. Mabuti na lamang na nasa gitna namin ang gurong pumipigil sa gulo na
sinimulan niya.

“Shut up! Palibhasa'y TVL ka lang kaya di mo alam ang hirap na dinaranas namin!”
She almost shriek at my face. Natatalsikan na 'yata ng laway 'yung guro na kanina
pa siya hinahawakan upang hindi makalapit sa akin.

I cross my arms across my chest while pursing my lips. Is that so?

"Oo nga e TVL ako, sis. Gusto mong lutuin kita nang buhay, ha?"

When she noticed that the tables have turned, bumalik na naman siya sa pagiging
santi-santita niya. She knew once a fight happens between the two of us, siya ang
mas madedehado. She carries the name of her strand — which is STEM. Tinitingala ito
dahil madalas nandito raw ang mahihirap na subjects.

Sobrang babaw lang naman ng dahilan bakit siya nagagalit sa akin ngayon. It is
because her boyfriend kept on messaging me and viewing my stories on facebook.
Hindi na nga ako nag-rereply pero bakit ako pa rin ang puntirya? Why can't she tie
her dog on lease, para naman hindi tumatahol sa ibang babae?

I mean, if she hated me that much why would she bother herself on checking me out?
Pwedeng-pwede niya naman ako i-block sa cellphone ng boyfriend niya. She simply
doesn't care enough for herself that she bothers checking other people than her
own.

The teacher was soughing heavily while looking at the both of us. Hindi alam kung
paano ito mareresolba. I could give her a hint— just let the both of us fight.
Kapagod na mag-explain sa taong sarado ang utak.

"Sige, you can go back to your class." Bumuntong hininga 'yung teacher.

I groaned, I was anticipating a fight.

Pinunasan agad nung babae ang mga luha niya. Bumaling sa akin ang teacher. A
worried look plastered on her face.

"Sumunod kayo sa akin sa clinic. Ayoko na aabot pa kayo sa POD. Mabuti na lang at
ako lang ang nakakita."

Hindi ko siya teacher sa kahit anong asignatura kaya hindi ko siya kilala. Pero
mukhang kilala niya si blush on girl dahil hindi naman niya ito palalampasin kung
pareho kaming hindi naman niya estudyante.

"Ma'am kailangan ko po kasi talagang bumalik," sabi ni blush on girl.

"Sige pero pagkatapos ay pumunta ka sa clinic, ha?" bahid ang pagaalala sa tono ng
guro.

Nagkibit balikat ako at sumunod na sa guro papunta sa building na pupuntahan niya.

It was the main building. Nandito kasi ang clinic.

"Hija, bakit mo naman kasi pinatulan? Dapat hindi ka maging taklesa, matanda ka
na." Pangangaral sa akin nung guro.

I almost rolled my eyes.

Nice, this is like shifting the blame to me. When in fact, I tried my best to
understand the girl's immaturity. Siya lang talaga 'tong bigla akong sinugod na
para bang totoo na agad ang mga paratang niya.

"Hindi po nahirapan ang mama ko umire para masabihan lang po ako ng pokpok ng isang
taong walang parte sa buhay ko," sagot ko naman sa kanya.

Bumuntong hininga na naman siya nang malalim. Alam niya sigurong walang
kahahantungan ang pangangaral sa akin.

A guy who looked neat went to our direction. His manly scent invaded my nostrils, I
licked my lips because of it. Ngumiti siya sa guro kaya naman nanatili sa kanya ang
mga mata ko.

Plantsado at halatang sa isang laundry shop pinalabhan ang damit niya. Alam ko
dahil ako mismo ang labandera sa bahay kaya imposibleng maging ganyan kalinis ang
isang damit gamit lamang ng mga kamay.

Nanatili ang aking mga mata sa kanyang mukha. He looked like an angel. Matangos na
ilong, perpektong hugis ng panga, mga mata na mapupungay at isang ngiting anghel
ang ginawad niya sa'min.

He gave a curt bow upon noticing that we were headed in his way. Hindi ko maalis
ang tingin ko sa kanya habang kausap siya ng teacher na nasa tabi ko.

Honestly, hindi ko alam kung bakit naaagaw niya ang atensyon ko. Fine, he is
goodlooking but UJD have a lot of boys who are also sons of Adonis. Mga magagandang
nilalang din naman ang ibang lalaki sa school na ito.

"Adren, anak. Pasuyo naman na samahan mo siya sa clinic. Tingnan mo kung may galos
ba o wala," bilin nung guro at agad na nagbigay sa akin ng signal na sumunod kay
Adren.

Tumingin sa akin si Adren at nagbigay ng tipid na ngiti. Umirap ako sa kanya dahil
hindi ko naman siya kilala.

Pero sa loob ko ay halos tumakbo na ang puso ko papalayo sa kanya. I was clearly
attracted to his clean appearance. Iba talaga ang hatak sa akin ng mga lalaki na
may pakialam sa itsura nila. But...

Hindi ako nadadaan sa kagwapuhan lang 'no. Di ko naman makakain 'yan. Makakain
siguro pero sa ibang paraan at hindi pa ako handa sa ganun. Bata pa po ako, I'm
innocence. Charot.

Bumalik ako sa reyalidad nang tumugon siya sa guro.

"Sige po, Ma'am." He answered politely, not even sparing me a glance.

Iniwan na ako nung guro kasama 'yung lalaki na medyo gwapo. Hindi pala medyo, gwapo
talaga siya. Pero hindi ako natitinag dahil maganda ako. Mangingisay siguro ako
ngayon kung marupok ako sa gwapo pero hindi e.

Tahimik naming nilakad ang hallway na papunta sa clinic. Iniiwasan ko na tumingin

sa direksyon niya, ayokong isipin niya na baka may interes ako sa kanya.

Kagagaling ko lang sa away, ayoko naman na may maging kaaway ulit sakaling may
girlfriend ito.

Dumating kami sa clinic at may isang nurse na bantay. Si Adren 'yung kumausap sa
nurse at lumapit siya sa akin. I sat on the couch as I wait for him to finish
talking with the nurse. Kahit ang madalas na masungit na nurse ay nagagawa siyang
ngitian. He had that effect, he looked friendly and chill.

Binalikan niya ako habang may hawak na papel sa kanyang kamay. He looked at me and
I almost gulped because I could see his features clearly now.

"Pangalan mo?" tanong niya kaya naman agad akong nagtaas ng kilay.

Lumalabas ang tunay na kulay ha. Malandi rin pala ang isang ito.

"Bakit mo tinatanong? Hindi ako interesado sa'yo."

I almost flipped my hair out. Hindi mapigilan ang nabubuong ngiti sa aking mukha.
Hindi pa ako interesado sa kanya pero interesado na siya sa akin. Ang hirap talaga
maging maganda.

Napaawang ang bibig niya bago siya tumawa nang mahina.

"Ilalagay ko lang sana sa form kasi kailangan nila sa clinic," mahinahon niyang
sabi habang pinapakita ang form.

A faint flush tinged on my cheeks. Inayos ko ang buhok ko at nag-iwas ng tingin sa

kanya.

Okay. Medyo pahiya tayo. Bawi na lang sa susunod.

"Arrisea Cabrera. Huwag mo ako ia-add sa Facebook."

I flipped the small bangs that blocks my view. Kunyari ay walang pakialam pero
hinihintay ko lang na bumanat siya. Mukha naman 'yatang wala itong girlfriend.
Sana.

"Okay," a sudden smile appeared on his lips. "Strand mo?"

I scoffed at his question. Ang daming tanong! Hindi na lang sabihin kung gusto niya
ako e.

"Registrar ka ba? Interview ba 'to? Bakit ang daming tanong?"

"Para po sa form." Pinakita niya ulit 'yung papel.

Nag-init ang aking mga pisngi sa kahihiyan. Of course, may mga tanong para sa
clinic. Dapat ko na itigil ang pagkakaroon ko ng mga ideya na hindi maganda. Ako
lang ang napapahiya e.

"Ako na magsasagot—" Kukunin ko dapat 'yung form sa kanya kaso hinawakan niya ako
sa kamay.

His mere touch made my insides tingle. Agad kong binawi ang kamay ko, I was
perplexed with the way his touch made me reacted.

Pinakita niya sa akin 'yung palad ko, namumula ito at halatang namamaga.

"You'll get hurt. It's the least that I can do," Ngumiti na naman siya.
Palagi siyang nakangiti. Magmula kanina hanggang ngayon. Hindi ba napapagod 'yung
labi niya?

I decided to use a more friendly tone. Mukhang hindi naman siya tulad ng iba at
halos matino naman ang paguusap namin.

"Salamat. TVL ako, sa cookery. Ano pa bang tanong diyan?" I tried to make my voice
to sound as girly as possible. Inaasar kasi ako na magandang babae pero pang-maton
na lalaki ang boses. Yet, my voice sometimes turns seductive even if I don't want
to.

Sinabi niya 'yung mga tanong at sinagot ko naman. Binigay niya ito sa nurse at
binigyan ako ng cold compress.

"Himala, hindi efficascent oil." Manghang sabi ko. Si Adren 'yung naglagay cold
compress sa mga palad ko.

"To reduce the swelling," maikling paliwanag ni Adren. “Please do tell me if it

hurts. I'll try to be gentle as possible.”

"Di mo ba tatanungin kung bakit ko siya sinampal?"

Alam ko naman na may mga tao na iba na kaagad ang tingin sa'yo base pa lang sa
ginawa mo. Of course, I'll expect the same thing from him. Madali lang naman talaga
maging bulag at humusga.

"I think you have your reasons and it's also none of my business," mahinang sagot
niya.

Hindi siya nag-angat ng tingin at patuloy lang sa paglapat ng cold compress sa mga
palad ko. Unti-unti niya lamang pinapadapo ang malamig na yelo sa aking palad. The
ice was melting away the pain. His hands felt cold too.

"Pwede mo na pala ako i-add sa facebook." Ngumisi ako sa kanya. Pwede na 'tong
gawing fling.

He's goodlooking and probably easy to tame. Hindi na rin masama kung magiging fling
ko ito. Nothing serious, pampakilig lang.

"Not interested," he smiled at me. Hindi ko alam kung sarcastic o ano.

Humilig ako sa pader, hindi tinatanggal ang tingin sa kanya.

"Sure ka? Wala pang lalaking hindi nahuhumaling sa akin." I decided to act more
aggressive, making my face only inches away from him.

He had soft features but a structured face. Mahahabang pilikmata at mapulang labi.
Hindi ko matanggal ang tingin ko sa kanya.

Somehow, he looks angelic. Ang itim niyang buhok ay kinokontra ang kutis niyang
tila hindi nasisinagan ng araw.

He's my type. Medyo delikado ang mukha niya dahil alam kong marami rin ang
nahuhumaling sa mga ganitong klaseng mukha.

The type that has angelic aura. Parang walang magagawang mali. I had my fair share
of troublesome boys, baka ito na ang sign ng bagong buhay ko? I should settle with
boys like this one.

My mind immediately went back to reality when I notice his sudden movement.

Naramdaman ko na gumapang 'yung isang kamay niya sa palad ko. Medyo nakaramdam ako
ng boltahe dahil dito.

Nakakakuryente. The way his lingering stare invades my mind is simply astonishing.
The mere touch of his on my skin creates a sensation that I haven't experience
before.

Umawang ang labi ko at agad na sumilay ang isang mapaglarong ngiti.

His eyes flickered when he saw my reaction.

"I'm sorry, but I don't do dating." He sounded apologetic but I can notice the
hidden smirk beneath his words.

This only made my smile widened. Confirm! Malandi nga rin ang isang ito! Kaunting
kembot lang siguro at kinabukasan ay naka-relationship status na kaming dalawa.

“Really?” I playfully put my hands on his lap. In my past experiences, I know how
to make them engage with the thought of me. Alam ko kung paano ako mananatili sa
kanilang isipan.

Tinanggal niya ang kamay ko na nasa ibabaw ng kanyang hita. His smile was still on
his face, yet it looks like it was taunting me.

Like what I did is not enough.

Maginoo pero medyo bastos.

"Game? Ano?" nakaramdam ako ng thrill. Gusto ko talaga itong landiin!

Umiling-iling siya sa akin. His angelic face makes me want to grab him and kiss him
already. Geez, bakit ba pinapatagal pa kasi? I can't but pluckered my lips in
annoyance.

"You're not my type, sorry." Ngumiti siya nang mapangasar kaya naman napanguso
ako.

I'm not your type yet. I wanted to correct him because I'm sure he'll be head over
heels for me.

"Five thousand kapag nagkandarapa ka sa akin? Ano?" hamon ko sa kanya.

It was just supposed to bait him into accepting my offer. Hindi naman ako seryoso o
kung ano man. I just like betting money on it, para naman hindi ako maging talo.
Iba kasi ang usapan kapag may pera na nakataya.

His brows knitted before letting out a small laugh. He cast me a meaningful glance
before he pressed his lips together.

"You really don't know me," tumayo na siya at pinunasan ang kamay niya gamit ng
panyo.

“Hm? Paano mo naman nasabi?” I rested my chin on the back of my palms, not really
feeling any pain from the slaps I gave to the girl before.

"Money isn't an issue. I think your losses will be more than any monetary value."
He snorted before standing up and leaving the cold compress on my palms. Nagpaalam
pa siya sa nurse bago tuluyang umalis ng clinic.

Naiwan ako roon na nakaawang ang bibig at may mga bulanteng binudburan ng asin sa
bituka.

Kahit wala na siya dahil lumabas na siya ng clinic ay ramdam ko pa rin ang
presensya niya. I leaned towards the wall and bit my lip to supress the overflowing
joy I feel.

"Magiging akin ka rin, Adren. At sisingilin talaga kita ng 5k." Ngumisi ako sa
sarili ko hanggang sa may napagtantuan ako.

My smirk disappeared, leaving me with only traces of regrets. Paano ba naman kasi,
may nakalimutan akong itanong. I secretly punched the cotton chair as I silently
screamed in frustration.

Anong strand no'n?!

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 1 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 1

"Sino ba si Giorgion San Pedro, Marupok ka?!" singhal ko kay Suzette na ngayon ay
halos nagmamakaawa saakin.

Sino ba kasing malakas ang amats na magi-imbita ng di naman niya close sa kanyang
18th birthday?!

She slouched on her chair and started arranging the violet themed invitations on
the table. Binatuhan niya ako muli ng tingin na nagpapaawa.

Nasa Main Caf kami, inaayos ni Suzette ang mga invitations niya para sa 18th
birthday niya. Late kasi siya nakapag-aral kaya mas matanda siya sa akin ng isang
taon. Hindi naman halata dahil mas mukha siyang bata sa akin at mas bata siya
umakto.

Both of us are from TVL- Cookery. Nakilala ko siya dahil madalas kaming maging
magka-grupo kapag merong groupings. She's fun to be with since she's pretty
laidback.

"Crush ko 'yon! Nasa 18 roses siya kaso di niya pa alam." Hagikgik ni Suzette,
twirling her curly hair with her finger.

I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Pota ka, paano 'yon makaka-attend?!" kinurot ko siya sa pisngi. She winced because
of that.

"Kaya nga nandiyan ka e! Ikaw magbibigay ng invitation," suhestiyon niya at nagawa

pa akong bigyan ng isang ngiti.

Ngumiwi ako at binato ang invitation sa mukha niya.

"Ulol, di ko nga 'yon kilala tapos ako pa magyayaya sa kanya?"

Masyadong mataas ang pangarap nitong kaibigan ko. Gusto sana niya na lahat ng ex
niya ang magiging eighteen roses sa kanyang kaarawan kaso hindi umabot sa eighteen
kaya naman mga crush na lang niya.

Ang problema lang ay hindi naman lahat ng crush niya ay kakilala namin. Ang iba ay
sadyang gwapo lang sa paningin niya.

"Sige na, Arrisea! Kahit 'yun na lang regalo mo sa akin! Makapal naman mukha mo e."
Ngumuso siya.

Natigilan ako at biglang lumingon sa kanya. Magandang ideya 'yon. Hindi ako
gagastos kung sakali. Ngumiti ako sa kanya at binawi ang invitation na binato ko.

"Game! Anong strand ba no'n?"

She smiled sheepishly, she pointed towards the building near bonanza area.

Kaya naman kasalukuyan akong nasa harap ng room ng ABM 1. Nasa Accountancy,
Business and Management pala 'yung crush niya. Naks, mukhang pera.

Habang papunta ako rito, nararamdaman ko ang mga titig sa akin ng tao. Lalo na ng
mga lalaki. Malalagkit. I decided to ignore it, hindi naman kasi ako nilalapitan.

I'm not blind. Alam ko kung bakit ganoon na lamang ang titig nila sa akin. I was
blessed with looks that seems to captivate most people. Samahan pa ng katawan ko na
medyo humuhulma na dahil na rin sa aking edad.

Sa TVL building, sanay na ang mga mata ng lalaki sa akin dahil madalas ako roon.
Siguro rito ay naninibago pa sila sa aking mukha.

I have foreign blood in my veins. Ang maikli kong buhok ay kinulayan ko lamang ng
itim dahil ayokong masyadong mapagkamalang banyaga. May maliit akong nunal sa
ibabang bahagi ng kanang mata ko, a beauty mark as they say.

My father is a foreigner who had a cliché love story with my mother. Ang pangit nga
lang ng pagiging gasgas dahil ginawang kabit ng Papa ko ang Mama ko nang hindi niya
alam. My father wanted to raise me abroad when I was already seven years old, pero
hindi ako tanggap ng kanyang asawa. Kaya naman bumalik din ako sa Pilipinas kahit
ibang-iba ang buhay ko noon at ang buhay ko ngayong kasalukuyan.

I learned to speak english because my stepmother mocked me for not speaking her
language well. Maswerte siya dahil hindi pa ako marunong magmura noong bata ako
dahil baka araw-araw ko siyang namura noon dahil sa mga ginawa niya sa akin.

My thoughts drifted away when I noticed that I was already infront of the door of
his section. Ang taray ni Suzy, mukhang matalino pa 'yata ang nais ng babaitang
'yon.
Tumigil lamang ako nang mapagtantuan kong nasa ABM 1 na ako. Kakatok na dapat ako
sa pintuan nang may tumawag sa atensyon ko.

"Hi Miss," may lumapit sa akin, his eyes raking over my entire body. Hindi ako
kumibo. Mamatay siya sa kakahintay ng sagot sa akin.

My silence didn't make him go away. Bagkus ay lalo lamang siyang lumapit.

"Sungit mo naman. Anong pangalan mo? Baka naman pwede natin kilalanin ang isa't-isa
at pwede ba akong maka-isa?"

My lips were pressed in a thin line. Madalas kapag ganito ay agad ko rin
binabatuhan ng mga masasakit na salita upang tumigil na, sometimes I'll even go
with the flow just to prove that I'm not being intimidated.

Pero hindi ngayon, wala ako sa mood.

“Dali na, Miss...” he keep on prying, lalo lang niyang sinasarado ang ilang
espasyong meron sa pagitan namin.

Wala pa rin akong sinabi. Nag-kunyari akong naglilinis ng kuko para lang ipakita
kung gaano kahaba ito.

Mangangalmot talaga ako kapag lumapit pa ito sa akin. Isang lapit pa, magiging
Wolverine ako nang wala sa oras.

"Hindi ka taga-ABM 'no? Anong strand mo? HUMSS? GAS? STEM? Huwag naman sana sa TVL
kasi alam mo na..." Nagawang pang tumawa ng hinayupak.

It was out of nowhere for him to state that. Pero hindi ko naman hawak ang bibig
niya kaya naman minabuti ko huwag itong bigyan ng pansin. Tutal ay hindi naman ako
magtatagal dito.

"Mga patapon 'yon e." Nagpantig ang mga tenga ko sa sinabi niya.

Nevermind not minding this guy.

I laughed and turned my attention to him. Agad naman siyang ngumisi dahil akala
yata'y totoong natutuwa ako sa kaliitan ng utak niya.

Hindi ko alam kung anong strand niya, pero wala siyang karapatan na sabihan kaming
patapon. Siya nga basura pero sinabihan ko ba siyang patapon?
Pinakyuhan ko siya gamit ng kamay ko. I look at him from head to foot. Ang pangit
naman nito, ano pa bang aasahan ko sa mga tulad niya?

"Grabe 'no? Pangit ka na nga tapos pangit pa ugali mo. Consistent ka, ang galing."
I commented, may sarkastikong ngiti sa labi.

Nalaglag naman ang panga niya. He was about to repudiate my claims when we heard
footsteps marching to our way. Nakita ko na may dalawang lalaking papalapit sa'min.
Ang isa sa kanila ay pamilyar sa'kin.

Onyx hair, fair skin and his angelic face immediately registered in my mind.

Shit lang 'yung crush ko!

Napangiti agad ako. Lahat ng inis ko sa katawan ay napalitan ng kilig. Ilang linggo
ko rin hinanap 'tong lalaki na 'to tapos ngayon lang siya magpapakita? Hindi man
lang ako nag-ayos! Gusto ko maglatag ng red carpet para sa kanya!

Come to me, babe!

"Babe! May bumabastos sa akin!" sumigaw ako para marinig ni Adren. Lumingon sa akin
si Adren, he arched an eyebrow upon seeing me.

"Ako ba, babe?"

Agad na kumunot ang noo ko at napangiwi.

Tangina, bakit 'yung katabi 'yung sumagot?!

"Kilala mo, Gio?" mahinahon na tanong ni Adren sa katabi niya.

Humalakhak 'yung katabi niya at unti-unting umiling. May pilyong ngiti sa kanyang
labi habang ang mga mata'y nakatuon sa akin.

"Babe, sabi ko naman kasi sa'yo maraming mukhang manyak sa mundo e. Isa ka na roon,
gago ka." tinuro nung Gio 'yung lalaki na nanginginig na sa takot.

The guy swallowed hard and his legs are trembling. Sino ba ang mga ito at ganito na
lamang ang takot niya? Well, ganito naman talaga madalas ang mga lalaki — takot
lang din sa kapwa nilang lalaki. As if girls are not on the same level as them to
receive the same level of respect that they give to their fellow men.

"S-sorry p're. Di k-ko alam j-jowa mo."

"Kahit di ko 'yan jowa, wala kang karapatang mambastos." Saad nung Gio na masama
ang tingin sa lalaki.

The guy only gulped, hindi magawang sumagot pabalik.

"You're not even from ABM 1. Did you purposely followed her with the intention to
be a creep? How low of you." Malamig na sabi ni Adren, nakahalukipkip din siya.

The side of my lips automatically created a smirk. I knew that he was the perfect
good boy but seeing him on action makes me fall even more.

Hindi makatingin nang diretso ang lalaki. Unti-unti pa nga siyang yumuko dahil
'yata sa takot at kahihiyan.

"S-sorry talaga! Gio at A-adren."

"Kami ba binastos mo? Tell that to her," Tinuro ako ni Adren gamit ng nguso niya.
It was a cute pout from my perspective.

The guy, trembling in fear turned to me with an apologetic look. Hindi ko maiwasan
ang isipin na kailangan pa bang kapwa lalaki ang sumuway sa kanya para tumigil
siya? That speaks a lot. Some boys will only listen to boys too.

"Sorry A-ate.."

Ngumisi ako. "Kanina lang gusto mong maka-isa a? Ngayon kapatid na kita?"

He immediately went pale. Unti-unti siyang lumayo sa'min.

Tumakbo paalis 'yung lalaki malamang sa takot at kahihiyan. Duwag naman pala ang
isang ito pero ang lakas kanina ng loob porke't babae ako!

"Thanks," lumingon ako kay Gio at kay crush.

Adren only frowned at me before trying to give a smile, Gio on the other hand
offered a bubbly grin.

"Bakit ka po ba nandito? May pinapahatid ba sa'yo?" tanong nung Gio.

"Ah, may kilala kayong Giorgion San Pedro?"

Nakita ko ang bahagyang pagtaas ng kilay ni Adren pero may sumilay na ngiti sa labi
niya. Minsan hindi ko alam kung napipilitan lang ba siyang ngumiti.

"Ha? Bakit? Ako 'yon. Legit. Hindi bogus." Humalakhak si Gio.

That makes sense. Kaagad kong kinuha ang invitation na para sa kanya at inabot ito.

"May kaibigan kasi ako na nilagay ka sa 18 roses niya. Di mo 'yon kilala pero crush
ka niya." Walang pasikot-sikot kong sabi.

"Oh," tumango-tango si Gio. "May shanghai?"

I chuckled, hindi ko pa alam pero madali lang naman mag-luto nang shanghai kung
gusto niya talaga ito bago pumayag na sumama sa birthday ni Suzy.

"Hindi pero lulutuan kita kung papayag ka." Kumindat pa ako sa kanya.

Magaling akong magluto. Kaya nga sa lahat ng track na ino-offer ng TVL, pinili ko
ang cookery. Hindi ba 'yun naman talaga dapat? Piliin mo ang passion mo? Hindi ang
gusto ng ibang tao para sa'yo?

He immediately grinned. "Considered it done!"

Inilipat ko ang atensyon ko kay Adren na ngayon ay suot pa rin ang peke niyang
ngiti. It looks natural to others but he can't fool me. Mabilis ang kutob ko kapag
pinaplastik lang ako.

"Baka gusto mo rin matikman?" tanong ko kay Adren.

"Luto mo?" tanong niya, suot pa rin ang pekeng ngiti.

"Ako." Ngumiti ako nang malawak. Muntik na mawala ang ngiti sa labi niya. His face
was devoid of any emotion, pakiramdam ko ay kung hindi siya nakangiti ay wala
talaga siyang emosyon.

He looks baffled with the way he tilted his head to his side but I'm not sure. He
wasn't easy to read and it fuels my curiosity more.

"Kilala mo siya, Adren?" tanong ni Gio, tumingin sa akin si Gio bago bumaling sa
kanyang kaibigan.

"Hindi..." umiling-iling si Adren pero hindi tinatanggal ang tingin sa'kin.

I pouted. Akala ko pa naman ay may lasting impression na ako sa kanya. Di bale, we
have all the time in the world for him to know me better!

The siren for the lunchbreak made my gaze veered away from them. Naalala ko na may
susunod pa pala akong klase. I immediately fixed my hair before flashing a flirty
smile.

"Alis na muna ako, bye! Madalas mo na akong makikita, Adren!"

Isang ngisi ang sumilay sa labi ko nang makita ko siyang nakakunot ang noo sa'kin.

I walked away from them while thinking of possible ways for him to notice me more.
Papansin na kung papansin pero kung siya lang din naman ang magiging boyfriend ko
dahil sa pagiging papansin, I wouldn't really mind.

Hindi ko inakalang sa mga mukhang pera pala kasapi ang crush ko. Mukhang lalabas
ang pagiging praktikal ko rito ah.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 2 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 2

Violet ang theme ng birthday ni Suzette. Kilig na kilig ang babaita dahil lahat ng
crush niya ang nasa 18 roses. Halos mahimatay na siya nang isayaw siya nung Gio.

Pinapanood ko lang sila habang nakaupo ako sa isa sa mga lamesa para sa kanyang
bisita. Our other friends couldn't come, si Franny ay nasa ibang lugar samantalang
at si Camisha naman ay hindi pinayagan dahil masyadong gabi na. Mabuti na lamang na
hindi matampuhin si Suzy kahit na ganito ang nangyari.

I was examining Gio while he was dancing with Suzy.

Gwapo nga 'yung Gio pero mukhang di nagseseryoso sa buhay. Kanina pa tawa nang tawa
si Suzette habang sinasayaw siya nito. Sa lahat ng crush ni Suzette, sa kanya 'yata
siya pinakatimaan dahil ito ang pinaka-gwapo. Sarap sa eyes, pero loyal ako kay
Adren.

Sa debut ni Suzette ay namukhaan ko kaagad si Giorgion o Gio, he was easy to spot

on because he was a familiar face. Walang pagaalinlangan na nilapitan ko ito
matapos nilang mag-sayaw. He was really silent on the corner. Umupo ako sa tabi
niya at kinuha ang atensyon niya.

"Tahimik mo naman," puna ko sa kanya. Lumingon siya sa akin at nanglaki ang mga
mata.
"Gago, wala akong kakilala rito."

Di ko mapigilan ang humagalpak sa tawa. Baliw kasi itong si Suzette, inimbita 'tong
si Gio kahit wala naman silang common friend o ano. Kawawa tuloy 'tong lalaki na
'to.

"Arrisea," naglahad ako ng kamay sa kanya.

Ngumisi siya saka tinanggap ang kamay ko. "Giorgion pero Gio na lang."

We both turned our attention to Suzy, na ngayon ay may kasayaw na iba. I looked at
Gio and saw his reaction was just blank. His brows were furrowed when his phone
vibrated. Tiningnan niya ito saglit ngunit binalik ang tingin kay Suzy.

"Type mo si Suzette? Reto kita?"

"Studies first ako," he chuckles.

I only nodded my head.

Ay, hindi niya type.

"Wow nice, kapag di ka grumaduate ng valedictorian niyan isa kang malaking scam."
Sarkastikong sabi ko.

He chuckled and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Kaya ko pong mag-multitask kung mahal ko naman."

"Nice!" nag-apir kaming dalawa. Mukhang kasundo ko ang isang ito.

"Ikaw? papa-reto ka kay Adren?" seryoso siyang bumaling sa akin. My mouth fell and
I immediately covered it.

"Wala akong sinasabi, ah." I said, clipping a strand of hair behind my ear. "Pero
kung gusto mo, okay lang naman. Mas better kung gusto rin niya na i-reto mo ako sa
kanya."

"Pwede naman natin subukan," he smirked.

He's good with people. Marunong siyang bumasa ng tao kahit wala pa itong sinasabi.
He nodded his head as he played his phone, flipping it over like it was a toy.

"Totoo? Okay lang talaga?" hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko.

"Okay lang, sanay naman akong ginagamit. Laspag na laspag na nga ako sa lalapitan
lang ako para i-reto sila sa mga crush nila." Nag-punas pa siya kunyaring luha sa
gilid ng mga mata niya.

I puckered my lips into a hidden smile and playfully leaned towards him.

"Dali na, kahit Facebook lang ibigay mo o number. Ako na bahala na sa panglalandi."

"Malamang hindi naman pwedeng ako pa lalandi kay Adren para sa'yo?" nagtaas siya ng
isang kilay.

"Ibigay mo na, hawak ko pamilya mo," biro ko sa kanya.

"Wait," kinuha niya ang phone niya.

He offered his hand, like he was waiting for me to give something to him.

"Akin na phone mo, ilalagay ko."

Agad kong inabot ang cellphone ko sa kanya. He examined my phone, pure confusion on
his face.

"China phone?"

"Hoy hindi ah!"

Second hand 'yung cellphone pero hindi naman china phone! Pinagipunan ko kaya 'yon.

His cheeks flushed and he looked apologetic. Medyo luma na rin kasi ang phone ko
dahil ayaw ko pa palitan, gumagana pa naman e.

"Ah, sorry. Pakibukas na lang tapos ilalagay ko." Mukha ngang na-guilty siya sa
sinabi niya.

Binuksan ko ang phone ko saka inabot sa kanya. May nilalagay siya sa contact list
ko. He was hiding a grin while doing it. Pakiramdam ko ay mahilig siyang mang-trip
ng tao. Ngayon pa lamang kasi ay mukhang alam na niya ang magiging reaksyon ni
Adren dahil binigay niya ang number nito sa akin.
Nagtipa siya sa phone ko at binalik na kaagad nang matapos siya. Malawak ang ngiti
ko nang makitang meron ngang laman.

Mabuti na lamang na may natira pa akong load! I'll check if this is really him. I
tried looking for him in Facebook but I was not sure if it was his account. Kaya
naman ito lang ang tyansa ko na makausap siya.

"Ano pwedeng topic?" tanong ko kay Gio habang binuksan ang messages ko para i-text
si Adren.

There wasn't an issue for me when it comes to creating the first move. Hindi naman
ako naniniwala sa makalumang tradisyon ng pangliligaw pero wala rin namang mali na
maniwala pa rito, hindi nga lang dapat ito maging basehan ng tunay na pag-ibig. You
could do the first move and it can still be true love — not an act of desperation
unlike how people see it.

I was trying to think about any topic but I couldn't pick one. Wala naman kasi
talaga kaming pwedeng pagusapan ni Adren. I'm not even sure if he knows me yet. Ano
bang sasabihin ko? Gusto kita baka naman mapagbigyan?

Gio pushed his lips onward, making it look like he was pouting. His eyes went
towards the videoke and immediately snapped his fingers like he had an idea.

"Lyrics ng kanta, lods." Halakhak ni Gio. Akala siguro nito hindi ko sasakyan trip
niya.

Tiningnan ko ang mga kanta na meron ako sa aking playlist. Damn, puro jejemon! Pero
wala naman akong choice dahil ito lang din 'yata ang meron akong mga lyrics.

To Adren:

I was three years old nang ikaw ay na-meet

Napahanga ako sa taglay mong bait

Habang nagtitipa ako ay nakadungaw si Gio sa ginagawa ko. He was laughing so hard
that his shoulders were moving, ako naman ay nanatili lang na nakangisi.

"Ang aga mo namang lumandi, lods." Napakagat si Gio ng ibabang labi niya,
pinipigilan tumawa.

Ilang minuto lang ay nag-reply sa akin si Adren. Hindi ko pa binabasa ay kinikilig

na kaagad ako. Gusto ko tumili pero pinipigilan ko ito.

From Adren:
Pardon? May I know who you are?

To Adren:
Ikaw ang guest ko sa twing birthday
Pati sa room ko ikaw ang display

From Adren:

Gio?

Is this you?

Gio gasped, pretending to be shock. "Grabe porke't kagaguhan ako kaagad?"

To Adren:

Di kana nawala sa alaala

Ikaw lang talaga at walang gagaya <3

From Adren:

"Jusko, ang hot ng question mark niya!" napapasipa pa ako sa kilig.

Ang landi-landi ko talaga! Pero lalandi man ako, sa tamang tao lang! At alam ko
naman sa sarili ko na walang matatapakan na tao sa panglalandi ko.

To Adren:

Ikaw ang gusto ng mga friends ko

At di ko alam pati parents ko

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

From Adren:

Is this supposed to be a poem?

I'm touched but may I know who is this?

Zafirah, are you high?

Gago? Mukha ba akong tumutula? At sinong Zafirah? Wala pa ngang kami may babae na
agad?

Kumunot ang noo ko nang mabasa ang reply niya. "Hoy sinong Zafirah 'to? Dami niyang
binabanggit na pangalan ah. Selosa pa naman ako."

Humalakhak si Gio. "Napaka-opposite niyo, alam mo bang wala 'yang alam na kantang
OPM? RK 'yan, lods!"

Hindi ko alam bakit parang close na kaagad kami ni Gio. Siguro dahil pareho ang
daloy ng kalokohan sa utak namin.

To Adren:
Ano ba ang meron ka na wala sa iba
At napapangiti 'pag nakita kana

From Adren:

School mate?

To Adren:

Sa mga poster at maging sa t.v.

Inaabangan ang iyong movie

From Adren:

I'm not a celebrity though.

Did you perhaps had a wrong number?

To Adren:
Bata pa ako noon nung marandaman ko 'to
Ayoko ng iba ikaw ang gusto ko

From Adren:

That's it.
I can't take this seriously.

I'm sorry for laughing. :(

Napangiti naman ako nang makitang naglagay siya ng emoticon. Tinamaan na 'yata ako
sa mukhang pera na 'to.

To Adren:

At sa aaminin ko maniwala ka
Mas gusto kita ke'sa kay darna

Biglang may lumabas na number sa screen ng phone. My insides immediately felt a

tingling feeling as I press the green button. Sinagot ko agad ito nang makitang si
Adren.

"Hello?" his voice is husky. Shit, mukhang ginising ko pa pala 'yung asawa ko.

"Sorry, babe. Nagising ba kita?" tanong ko sa kanya.

My voice, as noted by my friends, is very sensual at times. Kaya madalas akala rin
ng mga tao ay nilalandi ko sila kahit normal naman na ganito talaga ang boses ko.
Right now though, I'm very grateful for having a flirty tone now that I'm talking
to Adren.

Muntik na mahulog si Gio sa pagkakaupo niya. Lumingon tuloy ako sa kanya habang
nakahawak sa bibig, pinipigilan ang tawa ko.

Tanga, nakaupo na nga nadadapa pa!

"Babe?" nalilitong tanong niya, obviously confuse with the endearment.

"Yes, babe?" I said, sweetly.

I can hear Adren is moving. He sighed on the other line as he call a familiar name.

"Gio? Wait, is this Zafirah? Is this a prank?"

"Babe, kanina ka pa Zafirah nang Zafirah nakakaselos ka na ah." Biro ko kay Adren.

"Sino 'to?" his Tagalog accent was very enticing. Pero pakiramdam ko ay tunog conyo
ito.
Naku, sa Google translate talaga ako kakapit kapag hindi ko ito kinaya. Sa ibang
lengwahe ko pa siya sasagutin. Pero sa ngayon, sa tingin ko naman ay magagamit ko
ang ilang taon na nasa ibang bansa ako para makipagtagisan sa english.

"Kapag nahulaan mo, may kiss ka." sinabi ko sa kanya, I pursed my lips to add a
kissing sound.

Ilang minuto siyang tumahimik. Natatawa na lang ako sa kaloob-looban ko. Walang
pagasa na makikilala niya kaagad ako dahil wala naman siyang contact number ko sa
una pa lang.

Ilang minuto ang lumipas bago siya sumagot.

"Arrisea Cabrera?"

Nalaglag ang panga ko at biglang nanuyo ang lalamunan ko.

For some reason, I'm imagining myself kissing him. Pakiramdam ko ay mali na pumusta
ako. At least, hindi pera pero halik din 'yon!

Paano niya nalaman?

Humalakhak si Gio. "Di mo talaga kilala crush mo 'no?"

Naguguluhan akong tumingin kay Gio. Ano bang meron kay Adren? May kamaganak ba siya
na call center?

"I'm assuming I got it right?" he chuckles, my heartbeat is racing because of it.

"Nice to meet you, Arrisea. The kiss offer is very tempting but let's see if we'll
ever cross paths."

Siya ang unang nagbaba ng tawag.

Ilang beses kumurap ang mga mata ko bago ko napagtantuan na malandi rin pala 'yung
crush ko.

Gusto niya rin talaga? Walang bawian? Should I always prepare myself in case both
of us will meet each other? Ang lakas ko naman! May halik na agad ako sa crush ko!

Ngumisi si Gio bago umiling-iling sa akin. "Are you sure with my friend?"

"Pagkatapos niya akong bitinin? Lintik lang ang walang kiss!" biro ko sa kanya.
Damn it! Gusto ko talaga siya! Gustong-gusto!
"Adren's not easy and you're already that head over heels for him. Makes me wonder
who gets to fall harder..." Gio's cryptic way of saying it made me frown at him.

It's definitely me but I'll make sure he's the one who won't be able to stand up.
Ngumisi ako kay Gio. "We'll both fall, eventually."

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 3 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 3

Pawisan ako habang pasakay ng jeep. Anong oras na ako ginising ni Arya kaya naman
nagmamadali akong kumilos kanina. Akala niya raw wala akong pasok dahil nagpuyat
ako kagabi - hindi ba pwedeng nag-cramming lang ako dahil test namin kinabukasan?

Pagkaupo ko ay kaagad akong nagpunas ng pawis dahil ayoko namang pumasok na mukhang
dugyot.

Pansin ko naman ang matalas na tingin ng babae sa harap ko. Noong una ay akala ko
baka namamalik mata lang ako pero nang maramdaman ko ang malagkit na titig ng
katabi niyang lalaki sa akin - mukhang alam ko na kung bakit.

Bumuntong hininga ako at pinili na lamang ipilig ang ulo sa kabilang dako upang
hindi magtama ang mga paningin namin.

Please lang, ayoko ng gulo. May exam pa ako mamaya. Hindi pa ako nga ako nakakapag-
review sa Personal Development!

"Ano ba," naririnig ko 'yung babae. "Titig na titig ka ah, kulang na lang tanungin
mo pangalan niya."

Nahihimigan ko ang selos sa boses nung babae. Umiling-iling tuloy ako habang
nilalabas ang notebook ko sa PersDev.

I decided to review a bit but the way she was staring daggers at me made me stop.
Grabe naman tungkol sa pagpapakatao ang binabasa ko pero mukhang makagagawa ako ng
kasalanan dahil sa talas ng tingin ng babae na ito sa akin?

Kung magj-jowa ka, huwag 'yung hahayaan kang mag-selos sa mga ganitong klaseng
bagay. Kung sa harap mo nga nagagawang mag-hanap ng iba, paano pa kaya kapag
nakatalikod ka?

When I saw the landmark for UJD, hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko na sumigaw.
"UJD lang po, Manong!"

Pumara na ako nang makarating ang jeep sa babaan ng UJD. Ayoko kasi talagang
mapaaway nang ganito kaaga tapos may exam pa ako na iniisip.

Bakit puro mura masagot ko sa test paper mamaya.

I was walking hastily because there's only a few minutes left. Kapag ganito kasi ay
madalas gusto kong nakikinig sa mga kaklase ko na nagrereview rin. Nagkakaroon din
kasi ako ng insights sa kanila kapag ganoon.

"Miss," nagulat ako nang sinundan pala ako nung babae kanina na nasa jeep.

She was even brave enough to pull me on my arm. Ramdam ko ang gigil niya sa akin
dahil sa diin ng kuko niya sa paghatak ng aking braso.

"Po?" medyo inis na bumaling ako sa kanya. Late na ako, 'te. Ayoko magkaroon ng
minus sa conduct.

I also retrieved my arm from her. My eyes immediately darted daggers at her because
of her behavior.

Mababa na nga conduct ko tapos mababawasan pa? Goodluck naman sa good moral 'di ba?

Her eyes went from my head to my feet. Isang ngising nakakaasar ang iginawad niya
sa akin. She even cross her arm across her chest.

"Alam ko na maganda ka pero sana huwag mo naman landiin jowa ko," pangaakusa niya
sa akin. "Aanuhin mo ang ganda mo kung basura ka naman sa ugali?"

Her accusations earned her a frown from me. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin
sa kanya na paranoid lang siya at late na ako sa klase ko! Ano idadahilan ko sa
late permit? May praning na pumigil sa akin sa pagpasok sa klase?

"Wala akong pakialam sa syota mo." I said curtly as I was about to move forward to
the gate. The girl still didn't give up and pulled me again! Sa sobrang inis ko ay
marahas na ang pagkakatanggal ko sa paghawak niya sa akin.

I saw her boyfriend traipsing towards us. Nanglalaki ang mga mata habang unti-unti
akong natatanaw. Bumaling muna ng tingin sa akin 'yung lalaki bago niya hawakan sa
braso 'yung babaing pinagsasabihan ako.

"Tara na kasi, huwag mo na siya awayin..." pangsusuyo niya sa jowa niya pero ang
tingin ay nasa akin pa rin.

"Malandi e!" the girl hollered, gritting her teeth in annoyance. "Kung gusto mo ng
jowa, maghanap ka!"

"Excuse me? Kailan ko po nilandi jowa niyo? Hindi ko nga po kayo kilala," maayos na
untag ko.

Hindi rin naman kagwapuhan 'yung jowa niya. Ang pogi pogi ni Adren tapos
ipagpapalit ko lang sa pagmumukhang ganyan tapos hindi pa marunong makuntento sa
isa? Huwag na lang, salamat na lang.

I almost rolled my eyes. Wala akong issue sa itsura kung okay naman ang ugali pero
may mga tao talagang hindi gifted sa parehong bagay e.

Ang aga naman niya gustong makipag-away. Wala sa schedule ko, at late na nga talaga
ako sa klase. Kairita siya! Kapag di ko pa naabutan ang exam namin sa PersDev,
ituturok ko talaga siya sa ibabaw ng Maslow's hierarchy of needs!

"Sa jeep, beh. Kanina ka pa niya tinitingnan, hindi ka ba makaramdam?" Tinaasan

niya pa ako ng kilay, there's a taunting look on her face. "Sinasadya mo 'yata na
mapatingin siya sa'yo."

My mouth formed a grimace.

Praning ba 'to? Anong gagawin ko kung tinitingnan ako ng syota niya? Itatago ko ang
mukha ko? Buburahin ko saglit para mawala? Bakit hindi niya takpan ang mga mata
nung jowa niya?

I cackled at her. "Ano gagawin ko, 'te? Mukha ko maga-adjust sa mata ng boyfriend
mo?"

"Aba, malandi ka talaga 'no! Ang kagandahan ginagamit sa magandang paraan, hindi sa
panglalandi! Porke't maganda ka-"

"Thank you! Alam ko, maganda ako. Sana ikaw rin!" I smiled at her tauntingly and
her eyes glowered in anger.

She was about to attack me when her boyfriend stopped her from getting near me. Ako
naman ay napaigtad at nagtaas ng kilay. Nakakairita talaga, isasampal ko sa kanya
'tong notebook ko sa personal development kapag bumagsak ako! Gusto ko na umalis
pero nakakabuo na sila ng eksena.

"Tama na, Hon!"

"Huwag mo ako pigilan, isa ka pa! Ilang months na tayo tapos nagagandahan ka pa sa
iba?!" nanggagalaiti siya sa galit habang dinuduro ako.

"Ano?! Masaya ka ba na nakakasira ka ng relasyon?!"

Teka nga, putangina! Ano bang ginawa ko?!

I widened my eyes and immediately raise both of my hands mockingly.

"Sorry na, 'te. Sa susunod huwag ka magalala ibabalot ko buong mukha ko, okay na?"

May pasok pa ako, baka naman! Wala na akong oras makipag-plastikan sa immature na
'to!

May mga dumadaang estudyante ng UJD na napapatingin sa dako namin. Ang ilan sa
kanila ay nakiki-tsismis sa pangyayari. I even hear some of them gossiping around
us.

"Si Arrisea ng TVL? Ganda kasi niyan e."

"Si Arrisea pa hinamon niya. Ilang beses na 'yan inaaway dahil sa mga jowa nilang
hindi nila matali-tali."

"Kahit naman siguro ako kung papapiliin, si Arrisea na e. Mukha pa lang, wagi ka
na."

Lalo lamang tuloy namula sa galit 'yung babae. Umamba pa siyang sasampalin ako kaya
naman umatras ako. Natisod tuloy siya.

She went down, face first. Naawa naman ako kaya naman ay tutulungan ko siya nang
hawiin niya ang kamay ko at halos maiyak na siya sa inis nang unti-unti siyang
tumayo.

"Hoy! Ano?! Ang kapal mo talaga!" duro niya sa akin.

She was fuming mad at me. Ako naman ay hindi alam kung tatakbo na ba dahil late na
talaga ako o papatulan siya dahil baka isipin na naman niya ay hindi ko siya
pinapansin. She wants attention too much. Tulala lang 'yung jowa niya at hindi
pinipigilan 'yung babae. Takot din siguro siyang masaktan nito nang pisikal.

I can't help but give her a piece of my mind. Sa totoo lang ay hindi naman talaga
ito dapat pag-awayan. Lalo na hindi niya dapat ako awayin dahil hindi naman ako ang
nangligaw o ang karelasyon niya! I wasn't committed to her, why attack me?
"Sa susunod kasi tanggalin mo 'yung mata ng jowa mo! Bakit ba ako inaaway mo? Hindi
'yung jowa mong di makuntento sa isa?"

Bakit ba ang hilig manisi ng mga babae sa kapwa nila babae? Hindi ba pwedeng 'yung
mga jowa muna nila 'yung awayin nila?!

The girl almost grab my hair until a car horned at us. A black BMW was in front of
us, making her stop from her sudden attack.

The car's door opened and it revealed Adren looking over us. Wala na naman siyang
emosyon pero lumapit siya sa direksyon namin. It immediately gave me an idea.

Nang makalapit sa akin si Adren, I immediately went for his collar as I reach for
his ear.

"Remember the prize?" I whispered in his ears. Nakita ko naman ang bahagyang
paglukot ng kanyang mukha at ang pagkunot ng kanyang noo.

"Here?" he was hesitating as he move away from me. I immediately simpered because
of his sudden movement. I decided to give him a quick smack on the side of his
lips, making it look like I was really kissing him.

Halata sa mukha niya 'yung gulat nang magkalayo kaming dalawa. Nanglalaki ang mga
mata niya, his lips were also parted.

Gumuhit ang isang ngiti sa aking labi habang hawak-hawak ko ito. I licked my lips
as I turned my attention the the couple who has their mouths gaping at us.

"Babe, sa tingin mo ba ipagpapalit kita sa lalaking 'to?" I feigned innocence.

Adren looks confused, kaya agad ko siyang pinandilatan ng mga mata.

Shit lang, Adren. Kumagat ka kahit ngayon lang!

"Babe..." Adren looks hesitate but immediately gave a fake smile. "I have my guards
with me, do you want me to guide them to the police station?"

This time, he was the one who made me feel hesitant.

Pota, bakit may guards?! Anak ba 'to ng pulitiko?!

Nagulat ako nang may mga bumaba na mga naka-black na lalaki para puntahan si Adren.
They looked like the ones who are rented expensively. Malalaki ang kanilang katawan
at meron pa talagang mga lapel. I thought this was only a movie thing and never in
my life did I imagine I'll experience it first hand. Umakyat ang kaba sa dibdib ko
nang maalala kung anong oras na.

May exam pa ako sa personal development. Ayoko naman mapunta pa ito sa police
station!

"Sir..." napatingin ang mga men in black sa mag-jowang hindi makagalaw ngayon sa
takot.

Adren looked at his phone and his eyes landed on the couple who were frozen on
their spot. He smiled at them, but it didn't ease their situation rather it only
made it worst. Lalo lamang silang kinabahan.

"Kindly escort them to the police station. Harrassment."

"P-paano mo nasabing harrassment?" kahit takot ay nagawa pa rin magsalita nung

babae.

"CCTVs." Adren nonchalantly pointed towards the cameras around us that obviously
caught everything on tape.

Oh, pwede kaya kumuha ng kopya? I would really want to see how I kiss Adren.

Bumalik ang tingin ko sa babae at sa lalaki. They were as white as a ghost now,
halos mangisay sa takot 'yung babae.

"Huwag na, babe." Naaawa rin naman ako sa babae. Nagawa lang naman niya 'yon dahil
sa selos.

Hindi naman ako sobrang sama. Slight lang.

Tumingin sa akin si Adren, he was stifling a laugh. I only frowned at him until I
remembered something.

Na-realize ko na masyado na palang ganap na ganap ang pagtawag ko sa kanya ng babe.

Bakit ba? Sa babe rin naman ang kakahantungan namin.

"S-sorry..." natigalgal 'yung babae. Halos maestatwa siya sa harap ni Adren, panay
ang titig niya rito.

I can't help but sneered at her. Tingnan mo? Pati rin pala siya, mahilig tumingin
sa iba! Pareho sila ng jowa niya.
"Hon!" galit na hinatak nung lalaki 'yung babae nang maramdaman na matagal na itong
nakatitig kay Adren.

Hindi ko masisisi 'yung babae, para naman kasi talagang si Adonis si Adren. Mahirap
makalimutan ang itsura nito lalo na kung boyfriend mo ay tulad ng boyfriend niya na
hindi magawang bigyan siya ng tamang atensyon.

Sa huli, umalis na lang 'yung mag-jowa. They were escorted by Adren's guards.
Maraming salamat dahil sa inyo mukhang bibingo na talaga ako sa tardy.

"Thanks," I sincerely told Adren as I looked at him. "Sorry sa kiss kung biglaan at
hindi ko na natanong kung gusto mo rin. Pero masarap ba? Survey lang."

He blinked a few times before chortling. Akala ba niya nagbibiro ako?

"You're crazy, Arri." Umiling-iling si Adren. “It's okay, just please don't do it
again. Lalo na sa harap ng school. People can see it and may think of something
inappropriate.”

He decided to offer me one of his fake smiles. Hindi ko ito nasuklian dahil nauumay
talaga ako sa ngiting ginagawad niya para sa akin.

The smirk on my face vanished as I watch him slowly walking away from me. It seems
like he already knows that I'm interested in him, pero mukhang wala siyang pakialam
dito. I also notice how he forces himself to smile at everything.

Kailan ko kaya siya makikitang ngumiti nang totoo?

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 4 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 4

"Ma'am, promise! Kaya ko naman maging matino! Kahit isang araw lang."

Naguusap kami ni Ma'am Reynes na teacher ko sa English for Academics and

Professional Purposes sa faculty nila. Malapit na kasi mag-Teacher's week kaya
naghahanap siya ng student teacher.

She looks at me with a teasing smile. Ako naman ay nagpapa-cute lamang para mukhang
kaawa-awa sa kanya. I don't usually use my puppy eyes but I'll probably need it
today just for her to give me the student teacher role.
"Bakit ba gustong-gusto mo maging student teacher? Wala naman akong duda na kaya mo
pero bakit?" tumatawa si Ma'am Reynes. Kahit 'yung mga teacher sa loob ay
tinatawanan ako.

Sobra-sobra na kaya 'yung panguuto ko sa kanya! Dinalhan ko pa nga siya ng lunch!

Ngumuso ako. Isang beses kasi ay nakita ko ang schedule ni Ma'am Reynes, meron
siyang klase sa ABM 1. Sakto pang double period siya sa araw na magtuturo ang
student teacher niya.

Syempre, papalagpasin ko ba 'yung pagkakataon na landiin si Adren?

“Ma'am, nakasalalay ang future ko rito!” I said, almost pleading. Hagikgik lang ang
tinugon ni Ma'am Reynes bago buksan ang isang drawer ng kanyang table.

"Sige, Arrisea. I'll send you the PPTs you'll use and also the lessons. Don't
disappoint me, anak." Ngumiti si Ma'am Reynes.

Malawak ang ngiti ko nang tanggapin ang flashdrive na inabot niya sa akin. Agad
akong pumunta sa Main Library para tingnan ang laman nung flashdrive.

I took down notes and created a quiz for the lesson we'll tackle. Pudpod ako sa
pag-aaral para lang hindi ako mapahiya sa harap ni Adren. Hindi ako sobrang talino
pero bawi naman sa kasipagan.

Minsan, kapag sinasapian ako ng kasipagan. Hindi naman kasi talaga masyadong
mahalaga sa akin ang grado ko sa school. May buhay pa ako sa labas ng eskwelahan
kaya minsan lang talaga ako magsipag sa pag-aaral.

Hindi naman ako bumabagsak kaya wala namang kaso ito sa Mama ko.

Dumating ang araw na pinakahihintay ko. I was ready for this day. Hindi talaga ako
papayag na may mas maganda sa akin sa room nila.

I asked my little sister, Arya, to make me look presentable. Busangot ang kanyang
mukha dahil maaga ko siyang ginising para lang ayusan ako. Sa huli ay hindi naman
siya nakapag-reklamo pa.

Tinulungan ako ni Arya sa paglagay ng make up sa mukha ko. It was a smokey fox eye
look, mahilig kasi siya manood ng mga tutorials tapos nags-sideline siya sa mga
birthdays, pageants o sa mga parlor.

"Ate, pwede rin kaya ako sa school mo next year?" she was applying a tint on my
lips.
"Oo naman, sa tingin ko naman ay nagtatrabaho na ako no'n para may pangtustos na
tayo sa pag-aaral mo," I answered after she close the lid of the tint.

The tuition of University of Jeanne D'Arc is no joke. Nakakapagaral lang ako ngayon
dito dahil ang Papa ko ang gumagastos pagdating sa pag-aaral ko. Hanggang senior
high lang muna ang balak kong tapusin, edi sa magandang school na para mas mapadali
ako sa paghahanap ng trabaho.

I don't want to accept any money from him anymore. Kahit pa sabihin na
responsibilidad naman niya ang bigyan kami ng pera, I just don't want to be a
burden for him and his family. Masaya na ako sa kami lang nila Mama ang
nagtataguyod sa pamilya namin.

I looked at the mirror in front of me, visualizing my face as I look closely.

Siguro ang yaman na maituturing namin sa pamilya ay 'yung mga mukha namin. Medyo
hawig ko si Arya pero mas maamo lang ang mukha niya. Ilang beses na rin may sumubok
lumigaw sa kanya pero palagi niya itong tinatanggihan. Si Archer, ang bunso namin
ay wala pang tatlong taon kaya naman hindi makapag-trabaho si Mama ng regular dahil
binabantayan niya ito.

Isang violet long sleeves polo shirt at pencil skirt ang sinuot ko. Nagsuot din ako
ng takong na kulay itim. Nag-plantsa pa ako ng buhok kahit maikli naman ito. It
added maturity on my look.

Nagsimula ang araw ko na may mga naliligaw na mata na naman sa akin. Nasa STEM
building ako dahil ito ang unang klase ni Mrs. Reynes.

Pumasok na ako sa room ng STEM 1 para magsimula. Wala si Mrs. Reynes dahil may
pinuntahang seminar. It will just be me who will look over the other STEM students.
They greeted me and I motion for them to seat down, hindi pa ako nakakapagsimula
nang may lumapit sa akin.

"Hi, you look so pretty." May sumulpot na babae sa gilid ko. Iba ang nararamdaman
ko sa kanya. She was praising me but her eyes were criticizing my outfit.

"Thanks," ngumisi ako sa kanya.

"Pero, I think you applied too much make up? Pwede ba 'yan?"

"Si Czanne hindi tanggap na may mas maganda sa kanya," may sumipol sa gilid na
lalaki.

She shrugged her shoulders off and defended herself. "Hindi ah, I'm just curious."

Kinuha ko ang kamay niya at pinahid sa mukha ko. She seems shock at first.
"See it for yourself. Walang masyadong chalk 'di ba? Thanks for reminding me I'm so
pretty that I always look like I wear full make up on." Kumindat ako sa kanya.

She seems to be one of those who are strict with uniform codes. Hindi ko naman siya
masisisi. I like breaking some rules though.

Nagsimula na ako magturo para sa STEM 1. I also gave them a quick quiz to know if
they learned something. May isang tanong doon na sinadya kong gawing mahirap kaya
naman halos 9 out of 10 ang mga scores nila. May nagiisang naka-10 out of 10
though.

"Aracosa, Sarathiel?" tawag ko dahil balak ko sana purihin.

Kaso nakita kong nakasandal siya sa pader at nakatalukbong ang hoodie niya sa
kanya.

"Ma'am, tulog po. Huwag niyo raw siya istorbohin." Halakhak nung katabi niya.

Seryoso 'yon?

Hindi ko na lang tuloy pinuri dahil baka magising pa. Kung sino man siya, saludo
ako sa pagiging Einstein niya. Ang pressure lang sa magiging syota no'n kasi
sobrang talino.

Ilang klase pa ang pinuntahan ko bago ako humantong sa ABM 1. Nag-retouch nga muna
ako bago pumasok sa room nila dahil after recess naman ang schedule namin.

Halos wala ang mga estudyante nang pumasok ako. Malamang ay nasa Main Caf pa para
kumain.

Alam din siguro nila na mga student teacher lang ang magtuturo ngayon. Kaya naman
hindi sila nagmamadali.

"Gago, maganda raw 'yung ST sa EAPP." A guy muttered and stopped when he saw me.
Agad naman nanglaki ang mga mata niya.

Nabigla siya sa presensya ko pero nginitian ko lang siya habang inaayos ko 'yung
PPT na gagamitin ko sa pagtuturo.

"Saan dito 'yung saksakan?" tanong ko sa grupo ng kalalakihan na pumasok.

"Ikaw po."
"Ha?" Ngumiti ako at umaktong di ko narinig. I didn't want to ruin my mood, nasa
klase ako ng crush ko.

"Saksakan ka po ng ganda." Hagikgik nung isang lalaki. Siniko-siko tuloy siya nung
mga kasama niya.

Saksakin kita, gusto mo?

Pinilit ko na kumalma kasi sayang ang retouch kung papatulan ko. Hindi naman talaga
ako nabastos o ano.

"Ang aga naman niyan, Arrisea." nagulat ako sa taong nasa pintuan.

I immediately beam upon seeing the familiar boyish grin on his face. Muntikan ko pa
ngang mayakap ito!

"Ulol, Gio! ABM 1 ka? Bakit parang di halata?"

Of course, I was kidding. Nasa TVL 1 din naman ako kahit di ako gaano katalino.
Sakto lang talaga 'yung utak ko, tamang nagaaral lang tuwing may quiz kinabukasan.

He clicked his tongue."For all I know, inalam mo talaga kung ano 'yung klase ko
kasi kaklase ko si Adonis."

I trapped some air into my mouth as I suppress a smile.

Batuhin ko kaya 'to ng whiteboard eraser? Binubuking ako e.

"Saan 'yung saksakan dito, Giongina?" tanong ko sa kanya. Umawang ang bibig niya
bago nagtaas ng kilay.

"The plug's under the table, Miss Cabrera."

A cold voice vibrated in my ears, making me jump a bit. Nilingon ko ito at nakita
ang pinakahihintay ko sa lahat.

Nagulat ako dahil nasa likod lang pala si Adren ni Gio.

I can feel my heart jumping out of it's ribcage. Sobrang excited 'yata ako na
makita siya dahil hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko tumili.

"Adren!" I giggled. "Nandito ka pala?" patay malisya lang tayo, girl.

Best Actress goes to Arrisea Cabrera. Sabi ko na dapat nag-audition ako sa PBB
Teens e.

He smiled at me.

"It's nice seeing you," his tone didn't have a hint of enthusiasm. It was obviously
fake.

Mas mukha pang totoo 'yung mga binibentang branded items kuno sa mga bangketa.
Hindi ko maiwasan isipin kung bakit kailangan niyang gawin itong peke.

“Excuse me,” he walk passed me and sat down on his chair. Pakiramdam ko ay hindi
siya natutuwang nandito ako.

“He's just like that,” Gio tapped me on my shoulders and offered a friendly smile.
“Huwag mo na lang masyadong dibdibin.”

“Oo na, ako na walang dibdib.” I snickered. Gio widened his eyes and decided to put
both of his hands up.

“Wala akong sinasabi,” he chuckled. “Just don't take it seriously, gano'n lang
talaga 'yung kaibigan ko.”

I nodded my head and went to the teacher's table to start the class. I asked for
their attention as I announce my agenda for today.

“Hello class, I'll start the class after everyone is already on their assigned
seats.”

I wrote EAPP and prepared myself for the lesson. Hindi ako dinapuan ng kahit anong
hiya sa ibang klase pero ngayon ay halos maubos na ang chalk dahil lamang sa
nagiging pasmado ang mga kamay ko. I close my eyes to remember what I'm suppose to
tackle in EAPP.

EAPP is more on formal writing for academic context and right usage of grammar.

I turned my attention to the whole class, Nakatingin lang sila lahat sa akin. They
were listening attentively, this is probably one of the perks when you're handling
a higher section or a pilot section.

I smiled at them. "Today, class. I'll be your hot teacher but you can't fuck me and
I'm not on pornhub."
I decided to throw that ice breaker. Hindi naman ito bastos dahil hindi naman ito
nakahubad. Kidding aside, I should really filter my mouth.

Nagulat silang lahat pero sabay-sabay silang nagtawanan. Si Gio naman ay nakayuko
lang at nakahawak sa tyan, nagpipigil ng tawa.

Si Adren naman ay nakahalukipkip at salubong ang kilay.

He looked at me and I can't still figure him out. When he notice that I was staring
at him for too long, he gave his infamous fake smile.

I swallowed hard before trying to divert my eyes to the board. A fake smile, huh? I
tried to look at him again, baka namamalikmata lamang ako.

Still, a fake smile was plastered on his face. There's no even hint of any emotion.

Ngumisi lang ako sa kanya, nag-puyat ako sa computer shop para lang makasigurado na
hindi niya ako makakalimutan pagkatapos ng araw na ito.

“So, let's start the lesson? Shall we?”

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 5 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 5

Binuksan ko 'yung laptop ni Mrs.Reynes dahil pinahiram niya saakin ito. I navigate
it to the documents to click on the powerpoint presentation that I created. It was
about the language used in academic or professional disiplines, a topic for EAPP.

"You see, there are words that is used by professionals that may sound like common
words but actually has different meaning when used for their professions," I
started the discussion, naglalakad pa ako sa gitna para ganap na ganap.

Ang iba sa kanila ay namamangha sa akin. Not because I was good but because of how
I speak. Sa dami siguro ng naging kaaway ko sa school, isa ay narito sa loob kaya
naman hindi tago ang impormasyon na hindi ako kasing yaman tulad nila.

I hate how people would think that just because I'm poor, I can't speak english
fluently or understand english. Hindi ba nila alam na kadalasan sa mga pilipino ay
bilingual? O dalawa ang alam na lengwahe? Siguro dahil sa lumaki rin ako sa ibang
bansa kaya marunong ako sa english pero madali lang naman kasi talaga itong pag-
aralan.
"Do you have any idea what is it called?" I asked, to make them engage into the
lecture.

I picked someone who raised her hand timidly. Tumayo siya para sumagot.

"Yes, Miss?" I said to make her state her name.

"Bea po. It is called as jargons," sabi niya at umupo na ulit. Tumango ako dahil
tama ang sagot niya.

"Right, it is jargons. By definition, jargon are terminologies that are considered

unique to a particular subject or group. It is commonly used by those who are in
the same field, so they're the ones who can only understand each other. It may
sound gibberish for those who are not in their field," I turned around to go to the
whiteboard.

Sinulat ko ang salitang 'hearing' at humarap ulit sa kanila.

"When hearing is used by those who are practicing medicine, it means perceiving
sounds. However, if it is used by those who are practicing law, it will mean as an
opportunity to state one's case." I fixed the falling strands of hair on my face.
"See the difference?"

Some of them nodded.

"Another example, let's say table. For most people it would be just a simple
furniture, 'di ba? For Statistician though, a table shows numbers and results." I
added.

Marami pa akong tinuro sa kanila at kaagad naman nila itong naintindihan, pasulyap-
sulyap ako kay Adren para kumuha ng inspirasyon. Bawat talikod ko tuloy sa kanila
ay napapangiti ako at nagpipigil ng ngiti dahil sa kilig. Bakit may mga tao na ang
gwapo kahit nakaupo lang naman?

"So, that ends our discussion..." sabi ko nang mapunta kami sa last slide ng ppt.
"Get one fourth sheet of yellow paper, we'll have a short seatwork."

Lahat sila ay naging aligaga sa paghingi ng one fourth. Tiningnan ko kung sino ang
source nila at nahagilap ng mata ko si Adren na nagbibigay ng one fourth sa mga
kaklase niya.

I can't help but sigh in admiration.

Marupok talaga ako sa mababait at mapagbigay na gwapo kapag nakaupo lalo na kung
letter A ang unahang letra ng pangalan.
"Ma'am baka mahirap 'yan?" a boy asked, obviously asking for attention.

"Madali lang naman, modified true or false lang." Ngumiti ako sa kanila.

"Pusang gala 'yan," binato ni Gio 'yung one fourth pad niya sa lapag. "Kung ganyan
lang din ang madali, ayoko na lang mag-aral."

I joined the laughter of his classmates.

"Seryoso nga, magbibigay lang ako ng topic and title tapos sasagutin niyo lang kung
true or false, if the topic and title are connected to each other." I told them.

I saw the relief in their faces. Di ko naman sila papahirapan dahil estudyante rin
naman ako tulad nila.

"Pero imbis na tama o mali, ilalagay niyo pangalan ng crush niyo kung tama kapag
naman mali ay false ang isasagot niyo." Dugtong ko.

I saw how Gio grinned at me and licked his lips before chuckling.

"Duda ko na, sabi ko na may binabalak 'to e." Nilabi niya saakin, ngumisi lang ako
sa kanya.

All of them were either giggling or has horror on their faces, siguro dahil nasa
loob ng classroom ang crush nila.

Sus, ako nga rin nandito sa loob ng classroom nila 'yung crush ko pero kalmado lang
ako, nagagawan ko pa nga nakawan ng tingin e. Kindatan ko pa sana kaso baka
ireklamo nila ako kay Mrs. Reynes.

"Paano po kung walang crush?"

"Kahit celebrity o fictional, pwede na. Kahit nga 'yung aso mo kung gusto mo e."
Sagot ko sa nagtanong.

Pinindot ko na ang powerpoint presentation para sa seatwork, tutal halos lahat ay

meron naman ng one fourth.

All they had to do was write the name of their crush if the title and topic are
connected to each other if not then they will write false instead.

1) Reading Comprehension Skills - Home Economics

2) A human body's digestive system - Modern Guide to Health

3)The police power of the government - Prose and Poetry

4)Food preservation techniques - Home Economics

5)Lyric Poem - Prose and Poetry

6) The 18th century buildings - The history of Architecture

7) Systematic functional grammar - Introduction to language

8) Diesel Engines - Selling Skills

9) The European protestants - Worshipping God

10) Inductive vs Deductive reasoning - Pathway to reading

"Pass your papers infront," sabi ko nang matapos na ang seatwork, agad kong
kinolekta ang mga one fourth nila.

Umupo ako sa teacher's table para i-check ang mga sagot, marami pang oras dahil
double period si Mrs. Reynes sa kanila ngayong araw.

Ngumiwi ako nang makita na may mga sumagot na Adren. I-minus 10 ko silang lahat
diyan e. Nasamid ako sa sarili kong laway nang mabasa ko ang kay Gio.

Tama naman lahat pero...

1) False

2)Red Horse

3)False

4)Red Horse

5)Red Horse

6)Red Horse
7)Red Horse

8)False

9)Red Horse

10)False

"San Pedro? Bakit Red Horse ang sagot mo?" tanong ko kahit nagpipigil ng tawa.

"Ma'am kasi po ano..." he awkwardly smiled. "Sabi po kasi ng red horse, ito ang
tama."

Napuno na naman kami ng tawanan sa classroom. Tangina, buti di namamatay katatawa

mga kaklase nito. Tumingin ako kay Adren, as usual he was just smiling.

Hinanap ko agad ang papel ni Adren. Wala akong nakitang Adren na pangalan. Ngumuso
ako at may pinalapit na isang kaklase nila nang mapansin na hindi ko talaga ito
mahahagilap agad.

"Yes po?" the girl was kind enough to entertain my question.

"Anong full name ni Adren?" I ask, sheepishly.

The girl smiled, mukhang alam kung bakit ko ito tinanong.

"Adonis Renoir Reverio po," the girl answered kindly.

His name sounded fancy. Agad akong nagbigay nang matamis na ngiti at kinindatan ang
babae.

"Thanks!"

Hinanap ko kaagad ang Adonis Renoir at nakita ang papel niya. His handwriting is
way too formal, parang praktisado itong isulat. Kay Gio kasi, tamang hula-hula lang
ng meaning.

As I pull his paper apart from the other papers, I excitedly read his answers.

Napawi ang ngiti ko dahil sa sagot niya. I glared at him, hindi tinatago ang inis
na nararamdaman ko sa kanya.
None. He answered none.

Edi sino ako?!

I sighed exasperatedly, nakuha nito ang atensyon ng buong klase. I decided to call
him out and express my thoughts.

Hindi ko talaga tanggap ang sagot niya!

"Reverio, I can't accept your answer." Umiling-iling pa ako, obviously

disappointed.

"Po?" he looks at me, clueless why I'm fuming mad at him. He even straightened
himself on his chair as his brows were knitted.

Tumayo ako at sinulat ang pangalan ko sa whiteboard. Capital letters na A-R-R-I-S-

E-A. Bumaling ako ng tingin kay Adren.

"Hindi mo ba alam spelling ng pangalan ko ha?"

Tinawanan ako ng mga kaklase ni Adren. The four cornered room erupted in loud
humorous laughter. Akala ba nila nagbibiro ako? I'm beyond offended! Hinalikan ko
na lahat-lahat, hindi man lang ako naging happy crush?!

Adren looks taken aback, his mouth was slightly agape. he forced himself to smile.

"Sino po bang nagsabing crush kita?"

He smiled. His usual mysterious smile.

My cheeks reddened as I flipped my hair to fan myself. I confidently turned my

attention to him once again, this time regaining my composure as I give him my
seductive smile.

"Ako. Ako ang nagsabi."

Parang mga nanonood ng live landian ang mga kaklase niya dahil lahat sila ay
nakatuon sa aming dalawa.

"Ma'am, pwede po bang lumabas para bumili ng pop corn? Sobrang intense na po e,"
Gio kidded.
"Sorry to burst your bubble but I do not like you in that way po." Adren rested his
head on his palms as a smile appeared on his face. "On the contrary, sino ka po
ba?"

Ako naman ngayon ang umawang ang bibig.

Did he just reject me infront of everyone? Nakita ko kung paano ako pagtawanan ng
mga kaklase niya. Some even had the face to sneered at me.

My tongue touched the side of my cheeks. Pinilit ko na lamang silang ngitian lahat.

Nang matapos na ang dalawang oras ay inayos ko na ang mga gamit ko at hinanda na
ang sarili na lumabas. As I was about to descend to the ground floor, I heard girls
talking about what happened in ABM 1.

"Si Arrisea na 'yon! Pinalagpas pa ni Adren," a girl said, the other girl beside
her sighed and gave a mocking laugh.

"Ano ba inaasahan mo? Adren would not fall for someone as cheap as Arrisea. I heard
she keeps on jumping from one relationship to another, also her strand is TVL lang.
Sobrang downgrade no'n para kay Adren na isa sa mga kilala sa ABM."

Oh, really?

This isn't the first time I've heard the opinions of others when it comes to me.
Akala ko sanay na ako pero minsan sa mga pagkakataon na ganito ay masakit pa rin
pala. Pasok sa isang tenga, labas sa kabilang tenga dapat e.

Pumikit ako at huminga nang malalim. Think of happy thoughts. Think of how you will
prove them wrong in the future. That's it.

As I opened my eyes, I regain my confidence back.

Pagsisisihan mo talagang hindi ka agad nahulog sa akin, Adonis Renoir Reverio.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 6 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 6

Uncrush ko na lang kaya si Adren?

Hindi ko mapigilan ang ngumuso dahil ilang linggo na ang lumipas, but guess what?
Hindi pa rin niya ako ina-accept sa facebook. Ayaw ba niya ng auto liker? Kung
gusto niya, heart ko pa lahat ng pictures niya kahit 'yung pinaka-unang profile
picture na ginamit niya e.

"Nakakainis na siya," masama ang tingin ko sa profile niya. "Accept na nga lang
gagawin, hindi pa niya magawa."

His profile was only his silhouette and the moon as his background. It was an
artificial moon though, siguro ay nasa planetarium siya nito. I wanted to like his
profile but the only option was share.

Sobrang pribado naman niya. I decided to give up and turned my attention to Suzy
who was looking infront of the mirror.

"Sino ba kasi 'yan? Panibagong sasaktan mo? Di ka naman marunong ng commitment."

Ani Suzette.

Naglalagay ng liptint si Suzette sa kanyang labi sa comfort room ng ABM building.

Mas maganda raw kasi ang lighting ng CR nila kumpara sa comfort room ng TVL
building. Mas maliit din kasi ang building namin kung tutuusin.

"Adren," I answered dryly. "Hindi pa rin ako ina-accept sa facebook."

"Baka ayaw ka maging friend," Suzy says, fixing her hair in the side. She craned
her neck to face me. "Baka gusto more than friends."

Umirap ako sa kakornihan niya. Ayoko naman umasa sa haka-haka ni Suzy. Although if
that was true, baka kiligin pa ako.

Sabay kaming lumabas ni Suzette nang matapos na siya. Mabuti na lang dahil wala
kaming nakasalubong na ABM dahil baka panibagong issue na naman. Masyado kasing
batas 'tong si Suzette dahil ayaw niyang naglalagay ng liptint sa madilim na lugar.

"Arrisea?"

Nilingon ko ang tumawag saakin. Nadismaya lang ako dahil hindi ko naman pala kilala
'yung tumawag. Lumapit sa akin 'yung lalaki na malaki ang ngisi sa labi at kaagad
naglahad ng kamay.

"Hi! Ako nga pala si----"

"Tinanong ko?" Mataray kong tugon.

He was caught off guard. Hindi ko maiwasan na umirap dahil sa ngiting binigay niya.
Mahirap kasi sa ganitong klaseng lalaki, kapag pinakitaan mo ng kabaitan iisipin
nilang nagbibigay ka ng motibo. Ang kikitid lang ng utak, parang inaalikabok.

Rumihistro sa mukha niya ang naramdaman niya sa sinabi ko, mukhang offended siya
dahil bahagyang kumunot ang noo niya.

"Arrisea, I added you on facebook. Pero hanggang ngayon ay hindi mo pa rin ako ina-
accept. Gusto lang sana kitang makilala pa," he even smirked at me.

"Hindi kita gustong makilala," mariin kong sabi.

"Arrisea, hindi mo ba ako pwede pagbigyan?" hinawakan niya ako sa braso, nasaktan
ako sa higpit nang pagkakahatak niya.

Marahas ko itong tinanggal sa pagkakahawak niya.

"Alam mo? I-ligo mo 'yan, libog lang 'yan." Ngumiwi ako sa kanya saka siya iniwan
doon. Hinhintay lang ako ni Suzette sa gilid.

She was laughing as we walk towards the exit of the ABM building. I was annoyed,
kaya naman lukot ang aking noo habang inaasar ako ni Suzy.

"Dami namang lalaki sa buhay mo, Arri. Araw-araw ka na lang napapa-away dahil sa
kagandahan mo. Hirap talaga maging maganda, ano?" katyaw ni Suzette habang
naglalakad kami pabalik sa TVL Building.

It's a fucking curse.

Tinititigan ko ang repleksyon ko sa salamin na bintana ng isang classroom sa ABM

building. My foreign features does make me stand out among others. Still, it's just
my appearance, it will change when time comes. There's nothing special about it.
They say the world favors those who are beautiful - I'll say the world is just
unfair. Hindi porke't maganda ka ay nasa iyo na ang lahat...

Hindi mo nga alam kung sino talaga ang nagmamahal sa'yo nang totoo.

I always wanted to be grateful because I had the looks, pero marami naman itong
kaakibat na panghuhusga. I would have preferred to be just lowkey, 'yung bang sakto
lang. Hindi ganito na halos habulin nga ng lalaki pero mukha lang naman ang gusto
sa'yo.

The sudden realization made me think that maybe I was just cocky. Hindi ko
namalayan na ginagawa ko na lang na trophy boyfriend si Adren sa isipan ko.
In order to not make myself a hypocrite, I decided to cut the ideas off.

Sumilip ako sa cellphone ko at naisipan na i-cancel ang facebook request ko kay

Adren. Suzette was right, siguro nga ay naghahanap na naman ako ng kalandian pero
ayoko naman matali sa iisang tao. Commitment doesn't exist in my vocabulary.

I sighed as I saw that the setting went to default. I already cancelled it,
hanggang dito na nga lang talaga 'yata ang pantasya ko.

Pero makakahanap pa naman ako. Hindi lang naman siya ang lalaki sa mundo. That's a
fact and a truth that I shouldn't forget. Hindi siya kawalan.

I held my chin up as I confidently put a smile on my face.

Madali talaga akong mag-sawa sa lalaki.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"Sigurado ka ba? Pwede ka naman mag-focus muna sa eskwelahan mo," nag-aalala ang
tono ni Mama habang nilalapag sa hapagkainan ang niluto niyang sinigang na baboy
para sa'min.

I nodded without hesitation as I fixed my little brother's way of seating.

Meron kasing nag-alok sa akin ng isang side job, si Aling Juanita. Dati kasi ay
naglilinis siya sa mga Fuentes kaso ay napilitan siyang umalis dahil sa edad niya
at gusto na siyang pauwiin sa probinsya ng kanyang mga kamag-anak. She offered me
the job, para may kapalit siya sakaling aalis siya sa kanyang trabaho.

"Sayang kasi, Ma. Maglilinis lang naman ako tuwing Sabado at Linggo sa mga Fuentes,
hindi naman talaga madadamay ang schedule sa eskwelahan ko," sagot ko kay Mama
habang nilalagyan ng pagkain ang plato si Archer.

Inosenteng nakatitig sa akin si Archer kaya naman nginitian ko ang bunso namin.
Binalik niya sa akin ang ngiti kaya kitang-kita ko ang mga patubong mga ngipin
niya.

"Ayaw mo ba mag-kolehiyo?"

Natigilan ako sa tanong ni Mama.

Tumingin ako sa kanya at kita ko ang lungkot sa kanyang mga mata. She was worried
about this? Ilang beses ko na itong sinabi sa kanya.
"Pwede naman, anak. Meron namang two years course lang 'di ba? Pero kung 'yung apat
na taon----"

I immediately stopped her.

"Ma! Si Arya na lang muna, mas gusto ko mag-trabaho para magkaroon ng experience.
Pwede pa naman ako mag-aral ulit kung gusto ko," agap ko.

"Pasensya na, Arrisea ha." Her eyes went misty as she put the food on our table.

Nanikip ang aking dibdib nang makita ang mga kamay ni Mama na halatang pudpod na sa
gawain. Still, she was thinking of us. Kahit gaano na siya kapagod ay kami pa rin
ang nasa isip niya.

It made me feel sad that up until now I still can't repay everything she has given
to me.

Bumalik ang atensyon ko kay Archer kahit na ang nasa isip ko ay si Mama at kung
paano ko mapapadali kahit kakaunti ang aming sitwasyon.

Alam kong hindi perpektong tao ang Mama ko, maaaring hindi maganda ang tingin sa
kanya ng tao. Pero para saamin na mga anak niya, isa siyang perpektong ina. Gagawin
namin ang lahat para balang araw maibalik namin lahat ng sakripisyo niya para
saamin.

"Arya? Halika na, kakain na." anyaya ni Mama kay Arya na kararating lang at may
hawak na make up kit.

Nagmano siya kay Mama bago bumaling saakin at may inabot na sobre. Bakas sa mukha
niya ang pagod at antok. Nakita ko na meron pang mga kolorete sa kanyang mga kamay,
maaaring dahil tinitingnan niya ang shade nito.

Ngumiti lang siya kay Mama at pumunta na sa aking direksyon.

Bumulong siya saakin. "Ate, pakilagay sa wallet ni Mama mamaya baka kasi
makaligtaan ko ulit."

Tumango naman ako at sinundan lamang siya nang tingin habang papaakyat siya ng
aming kwarto.

Sa pagod dahil sa eskwelahan at trabaho ay madalas natutulog na kaagad si Arya

pagkatapos kumain. Hindi na nga siya sumasama sa mga kaibigan niya dahil sa mga
racket niya. Sa malapit na parlor lang din siya madalas rumaraket.
Bumuntong hininga na lamang ako. Gusto ko rin talaga makatulong dahil panganay pa
naman ako. She really deserves more than this. I can't wait to give her a more
comfortable life.

Kailan ko kaya sila mabibigyan nang mas maayos na pamumuhay?

I sighed to myself and look at my little brother who was beaming at me. Nginitian
ko na lamang din siya.

Kinabukasan, pumunta na ako sa mga Fuentes. Medyo may kaya ang pamilya na ito dahil
parehong maganda ang posisyon sa kilalang kompanya ang Ama at Ina sa kanilang
tahanan. Nawawalan na nga sila ng oras maglinis ng bahay nila dahil puro na sila
trabaho. Isang chalet bungalow ang kanilang bahay.

"Arrisea, kung maaari lahat linisin mo pero huwag na 'yung master's bedroom," bilin
ni Mrs.Fuentes.

Bumaling siya sa kanyang anak na tahimik lang sa isang sulok at may kinakalikot sa
kanyang cellphone.

"Lulia, si Arrisea..." pakilala sa akin ni Mrs.Fuentes sa kanyang anak. Ngumiti

nang tipid sa akin si Lulia nang lumingon siya sa akin.

Namana niya ang kaputian ng kanyang ina at ang itim na itim na buhok nito. Pero mas
mataray tingnan si Mrs. Fuentes dahil maamo ang mukha ni Lulia. Ngumiti ako
pabalik.

Umalis din kaagad si Mrs. Fuentes kaya naman nagsimula na akong maglinis. Nagsimula
ako sa pangalawang palapag hanggang pababa, wala naman masyadong dumi dahil halos
puro alikabok lang ang nalinis ko.

Malamang maarte lang si Mrs.Fuentes pero may karapatan naman siyang maging maarte
dahil sinuswelduhan niya ako.

Nagpupunas ako ng pawis matapos ko mag-mop sa dining area nila. I was thirsty but
shy to ask if I could have a glass of water. Siguro ay hihintayin ko na lang
matapos ang trabaho ko at meron namang mga palamig sa labas ng subdivision na ito.

"Arrisea..." nagulat ako kay Lulia dahil bigla siyang sumulpot sa tabi ko.

"Hello," binigyan ko siya ng ngiti.

Inabutan niya ako ng juice na kanina pa pala niya hawak, isa itong pineapple juice.

"Mag-pahinga ka na, kanina ka pa nag-lilinis." Inalok niya ako ng juice at

tinanggap ko naman dahil nauuhaw na rin ako kanina pa. Nahihiya lang ako humingi ng
tubig.

"Salamat, Lulia."

"Wala 'yon," umiling-iling siya.

Matapos ko mag-mop, niyaya ako ni Lulia makipag-kwentuhan. She wasn't that

talkative but she had a lot of stories to tell, nagulat nga ako dahil pareho kaming
sa UJD nag-aaral.

"Talaga? Anong strand mo?" tanong ko at uminom sa pineapple juice na binigay niya
sa akin.

"ABM," muntik ko na mabuga 'yung juice.

Nasamid ako kaya naman hinagod-hagod ni Lulia ang likod ko.

"S-section?" umuubo kong tanong.

"2," patuloy lang siya sa pag-hagod ng likod ko.

Napapikit ako nang mariin. Halos dalawang linggo na magmula nang tinigilan ko na si
Adren. Nakakahiya kung isa si Lulia sa mga alam kung paano ko pinagkalat na patay
na patay ako kay Adonis Renoir. Mabuti na lang dahil nasa ibang section siya.

"Ikaw ba, Arrisea? Anong strand ka?"

"TVL Cookery," sagot ko at nakita ko na medyo umawang ang bibig niya.

She stopped moving her hand on my back. Bahagyang kumunot ang kanyang noo habang
ang tingin saakin ay puno ng tanong.

"Madali lang ba ginagawa niyo roon?"

Oh.

Madalas na tanong sa'min ito. The academic tracks look down on us because
apparently we don't really study — we just cook. Madalas ganyan ang katwiran nila
kung bakit ang baba ng tingin nila sa'kin. I was only a pretty face, at hindi raw
ako matalino.

Hanimal.
Binubuo pa lamang ang art at sports track pero pakiramdam ko ay matitikman din nila
ang hagupit ng ibang mga mapangmatang mga taga-academic tracks na para bang hindi
kami kumukuha ng core subjects nila. Akala ba nila sila lang nahihirapan sa general
mathematics? Hampas ko sa kanila 'yung graphing notebook namin na puro equations
din!

Lulia was snooping over me. Ayoko naman maging balahura sa isasagot sa kanya kaya
pinilit ko na lang ang sarili ko na ngumiti para mawala ang tensyon sa aming
dalawa.

"More on practical kami kasi 'yun ang pinaka-specialized subjects namin," sagot ko
sa tanong niya.

Marami kaming subjects na halos sa skills kami binibigyan ng grade. Halos kailangan
nga namin balansehin ang skills at intellect namin pagdating dito.

Tumango-tango lang siya at nginitian ako. There was something on her smile but I
couldn't just pinpoint what it is.

"Sana maging kaibigan kita, Arrisea."

Tumango ako at ngumisi sa kanya.

"Oo naman!"

Wala naman akong problema roon. Mukha naman mabait si Lulia.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"Himala, wala kang baon?" nagtaas ng kilay si Suzette sa akin.

"Bibili lang ako ng tubig dahil ayaw mo akong pahiramin ng tumbler mo," umirap ako
sa kanya.

Ayaw niya kasi magpahiram ng tumbler para sana sa drinking fountain na lang ako
kukuha ng tubig. Ayaw niya raw dahil sa laway ko, akala mo naman hindi nakikipag-
laplapan sa iba.

Pumila kami sa isang snack bar para bumili ng tubig. Hindi ko makita kung magkano
kaya balak ko sanang sa tindera na lang mismo magtanong mamaya.

"Ano sa'yo?" tanong nung tindera nang ako na ang bibili.

"Tubig po," I could feel the dryness in my throat. Ang tagal kasi mamili nung mga
nasa harap ko kanina.

She went to the beverage refrigerator to get a bottled water. Para akong uhaw na
uhaw nang iabot niya sa akin ito. I was thirsty so I decided to drink before
paying.

I let out a sigh of relief after the water made me feel refresh. Lumingon ako sa
tindera upang itanong kung magkano ito.

"Ate, magkano?"

"Fifty pesos po," sabi nung tindera sa cafeteria.

Nanglaki ang mga mata ko at umawang ang mga labi.

Napatingin ako sa bottled water na hawak ko.

Hanimal! Isang gallon ba 'yung binili ko? Fifty pesos para sa maliit na tubig na
'to? Sampung piso lang 'yata dala kong pera!

"Suzette, pahiram muna ng fourty pesos. Naiwan ko wallet ko," pasuyo ko kay
Suzette. Nilabas ni Suzette ang wallet niya kaso wala na itong laman.

"Coin purse lang dala ko 'te! Wait, akyat lang ako tapos ako na magbabayad nung
tubig mo," she said, guilt was on her face. Dapat kasi pinahiram mo na lang ako ng
tumbler e!

Agad na tumakbo si Suzette para kuhanin 'yung pera niya sa classroom namin. Medyo
malayo pa naman ang TVL building!

"Miss? Fifty pesos?" naubusan na 'yata ng pasensya 'yung tindera. Ang susungit pa
naman ng mga ito, akala mo palaging delayed ang dalaw!

Nakakahiya kasi ang haba ng pila!

Ibalik ko na lang kaya? Pero wala ng laman! Hanimal na 'yan!

May one, two, three ba rito? Nakakahiya na kasi talaga dahil halos minamata na ako
ng tindera at ng mga nakasunod sa pila. I wasn't prepared for this!

Nagitla ako nang may nag-abot ng pera sa tindera. A five hundred peso bill.
I don't even have to turn to know who he is, his mere slender fingers can already
make me froze on the spot.

Hindi ko alam kung papaano pero tuwing nandiyan siya, palagi akong kinakabahan.
Nastatwa ako sa posisyon ko at hindi agad nakapagsalita.

Hindi ko pinapansin si Adren kahit halos nasa tabi ko lang siya.

"Arrisea..." he called, his voice sounded so sweet in my ears. Pakiramdam ko

nilalandi ako nito pero pakiramdam ko lang naman e.

Hindi mo na siya crush, Arri. Hindi mo na siya crush.

I close down my eyes and avoided his way. Kaya mo 'yan, Arri. All you have to do is
walk away and make the throbbing of your heart stop. Kailangan kalmado ka lang.
Chill.

"Arri!" Gio jogged his way to our direction. "Nandito ka pala?"

Lumingon ako kay Gio na ngumingisi sa akin. I was gritting my teeth in annoyance as
I shook my head to him.

Huwag kang lalapit para di rin lumapit 'yang kasama mo!

"Ako nag-palapit sa kanya rito, ayos ba?" he mouthed, even giving me a thumbs up.

Bumagsak ang panga ko sa sinabi niya. My lips twisted into a grimace.

Sana ayos ka lang, Gio.

I gulped and decided to ignore them. Hindi pa rin ako makagalaw sa kinatatayuan ko.
I was too stunned to move even an inch.

"Grabe naman 'yan, Arri. Hindi mo ba kami na-miss?" Gio said, teasingly.

I heard footsteps near me. Habang papalapit ito ay lalo lamang bumibilis ang tibok
ng puso ko. This isn't suppose to be like this, it was suppose to be the other way
around! Siya dapat itong apektado sa akin!

Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ko. Damn it! Damn them!

Hindi ko mapigilan ang lumingon sa kanila. I just wanted to tell them to go off or
mind their own business. I was good at this, ilang lalaki na ba ang napalayo ko sa
akin? I can't even count them on my hands.

"I miss you, Arrisea." Ngumiti nang nakakaloko si Adren sa akin.

I blinked. A few times. Until all I can heard was imaginary wedding bells in my
head.

He playfully chuckled as he was walking near me. Ako naman ay nanatiling tulala sa
kanya.

"Hindi mo ba ako na-miss?"

I looked at Adren and saw him smiling at me.

Putangina talaga.

Natutunaw na ako sa boses pa lang niya tapos sasabihan niya ako nang ganyan? Nasaan
naman ang hustisya roon?

Tumatawa silang dalawa ni Gio bago umalis. Iniwan nila ako roon na tulala.

Nilagpasan na nila ako pero ang epekto niya ay nandito pa rin sa puso ko. He didn't
even do anything but just told me he miss me.

Tapos parang tanga lang kasi naniwala naman ako.

"Miss, sukli nung syota mo." Hagikgik nung tindera, kanina pa 'yata kami
pinapanood.

I went back to my reality as I look at the change that the lady on the counter put
on my hand.

Iniwan niya pa sa akin 'yung sukli! Hanimal talaga silang dalawa!

Umalis na ako roon at nakasalubong si Suzette na pawisan habang dala-dala ang

wallet. Tumatakbo kasi ito papunta sa akin.

"Hala, Arri..." hinihingal siya. "Okay na ba? Paano mo nabayaran?"

She looks worried so I gave her a thumbs up and nodded my head.

"Oo, pakibalik na lang 'yung sukli sa kaibigan ni Gio."

Inabot ko sa kanya 'yung sukli ni Adren pero di niya tinanggap.

She looked at me with confusion on her eyes. Agad akong nagtaas ng kilay sa kanya.

"Crush mo 'yon, 'di ba?"

"Hindi na!" pagtanggi ko.

My sudden reaction made me blush. What the hell? Bakit ganito ang epekto niya sa
akin?

Upon seeing my crimson cheeks, Suzy can't help but burst in laughter. Pabiro ko
naman siyang pinalo sa braso.

"Sige nga, balik mo nga 'yung sukli niya sa kanya." She teased.

I groaned as I look at the change on my hand. Magkano rin ito at nakahihiya kung
ibubulsa ko.

Paano ko iu-uncrush kung sila mismo binabalik 'yung feelings ko sa kanya?

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 7 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 7

"Ang ganda ng buhok mo, Arrisea."

Sinusuklay ni Suzette ang buhok ko gamit ng mga daliri niya. Namamangha siya habang
tinitingnan ang kulay ng buhok ko, makintab kasi ito at lumalabas ang natural na
kulay kapag naaarawan.

"Bakit ayaw mong pahabain?" tanong ni Suzette.

"Sayang sa shampoo," sagot ko. Nakakatipid kaya ang pagkakaroon ng maikling buhok!

Binatukan naman niya ako. Agad akong napahawak sa ulo ko at bumaling sa kanya.
"Aray naman!"

"Sayang ang ganda mo kasi di mo inaalagaan! Kung nasa akin lang ang mukha mo,
matagal ko na sigurong naging syota lahat ng crush ko! Sabay-sabay pa silang
lahat." Ngumuso si Suzette.

Her eyes darted towards a direction. Agad niya akong pinaghahampas na para bang
meron siyang nakitang hindi dapat niya nakita. Umiilag naman ako sa bawat hampas
niya dahil volleyball player itong si Suzy, baka masobrahan siya at tumilapon ako.

“Bakit ba?”

“Look!”

She pointed using her lips the direction where her eyes were glued at. Umawang ang
labi ko nang makita ko kung sino ang mga ito.

Tumili siya bigla at dinuro ang isang direksyon. Agad naman akong napalingon dito
at nakita si Gio, Adren at isang babae na hindi masyadong pamilyar ang mukha
saakin. She was wearing a high ponytail and she looks neat.

Suzy's eyes squinted at the sight.

"Hala, sino 'yon? May girlfriend ba si Gio?"

Sinipat ko ang tinutukoy niya. Mukhang matino 'yung babae kaya naman parang lugi
siya kay Gio kung sakali. Maganda siya pero mukhang mataray.

The girl and Gio were laughing, nakasunod lamang sa kanila si Adren na nakangiti.
He was listening to them with such a serene face. Para talaga siyang baby — baby
ko. Sobrang lambot niya kasi tingnan, parang hindi makabasag pinggan.

“Crush mo oh...” mahinang sambit ni Suzy habang sinisiko ako.

No, di ko na siya crush. Wala na akong feelings sa kanya. In my mind, praktisado ko

na ang sagot ko tuwing sasabihin ito sa akin. Pero sa hindi ko malaman na dahilan,
hirap na hirap ang labi kong banggitin ang mga ito.

"May ibabalik lang ako saglit," tumayo ako galing sa pagkakaupo at pumunta sa
direksyon nila.

“Go sis!” Suzy cheered and I just rolled my eyes at her.

Nauuna maglakad si Gio at 'yung babae na kasama nila. Mabagal kasi maglakad si
Adren kaya naman nagitla ako nang bigla siyang lumingon sa akin. Naramdaman niya
siguro na sinusundan ko siya.

One of his hand was on his pocket. Napatigalgal ako nang tuluyan siyang lumingon sa
akin. He didn't look surprise rather he looks like he was anticipating me.

"Hi Arrisea," he greeted wryly.

Humugot ako nang malalim na hininga.

I can do this. Give him the money and just go. Ito lang din siguro ang dahilan kung
bakit pati sa bahay ay siya ang naiisip ko. I have convince myself, dahil lang ito
sa sukli na hindi ko pa naibabalik sa kanya.

Kinuha ko sa wallet ko ang five hundred pesos na tinabi ko upang ibalik sa kanya.

"Salamat pero hindi ako tumatanaw ng utang na loob," mariin kong sabi sa kanya at
inabot ang five hundred pesos sa kanya.

Nanatili lang siyang nakatingin sa pera na nasa kamay ko. A crease appeared on his
forehead, he only tilted his head to the side with a look of confusion on his face.

Bakit naman siya mao-offend kung ibabalik ko ang sukli niya? Actually, buo nga ang
ibabalik ko sa kanya! Kahit labag sa loob kong bayaran ang fifty pesos na bottled
water na 'yon!

"You can keep it," mahinang sabi niya.

I sighed as I handed him the money forcefully but he only stared at it with disdain
in his eyes.

Parang nandidiri.

Umiba ang ihip ng hangin at nairita ako sa kung paano niya ito tingnan. Pakiramdam
ko porke't hindi ito kasing bago o kasing lutong ng pera galing sa bangko ay ganito
na lamang niya ito tratuhin.

In a small voice, I told him what he needs to know.

"Binabalik ko lang kung ano 'yung sa'yo."

No need to freaking judge where I got the money. Sa huli ay pera pa rin naman 'yan,
kahit pa gusot, marumi, nangingitim na, bago, malutong, o makintab — pera pa rin
naman 'yan. Hindi naman nawala ang halaga niyan.
Hindi ako mayaman kaya alam ko ang halaga ng pera. Hindi naman sa kanya ang pera na
'to, galing ito sa mga magulang niya. Hindi dapat siya nagsasayang ng pera lalo na
kung kani-kanino lang.

Hind niya ako pinansin at tinalikuran na ako. The way his steps were hastily moving
away from me only made my head boiled more.

"Adren!" hinabol ko siya dahil ayaw niya pa rin kuhanin 'yung pera.

I figured that following him around would make him feel that I don't need his
money. Wala akong ginawa upang makuha ang pera na ito, therefore I don't think I
should claim it.

"It's yours, Arrisea. Kung ayaw mo, pamigay mo na lang sa iba."

The coldness of his tone contrasts his angelic image in my head. Hindi ko makita
ang kanyang ekspresyon kung kaya't hindi ko makumpirma kung totoo nga ba ang hinala
kong masyadong malamig ang kanyang pakikitungo.

"Hindi ka ba naaawa sa parents mo? Nagpapakahirap sila sa trabaho para rito!

Kuhanin mo na," pamimilit ko.

Naaawa kasi ako sa mga magulang niya, mahirap ang kumita ng pera. Hindi naman
madaling mag-trabaho 'no. Kahit na mayaman pa siya, he still needs to value the
effort his parents make for him to live a good life.

Natigilan si Adren sa paglalakad at lumingon sa akin. His face hardened before

averting his gaze to change into his pretentious smile. My heart almost skip a
beat. Akala ko ay galit siya. That was probably just my mind playing games with me.

Ngumiti naman ako at inabot ang five hundred pesos sa kanya. Tinanggap naman niya
ito habang nakangiti.

Siguro ay napagtantuan na niya 'yung punto ko. He probably knows how much his
parents do their best to provide all his needs.

He looked around and saw a passerby walking. Agad niya itong hinarang at nginitian.
Tumigil naman ito para batiin si Adren.

“Adren, dude!” the guy greeted and even grinned.

“Hello, can you do me a favor?” tanong ni Adren sa mababang tono. “Pwede mo bang
gastusin ito para sa akin? I'll really appreciate it.”
“Are you sure? But no problem, dude.” Halos kuminang ang mata nung lalaki na kausap
ni Adren. Ako naman ay nanatili lamang nakaawang ang bibig dahil sa ginawa niya.

Wow.

Inabot ni Adren 'yung pera sa lalaki at agad naman itong umalis na matapos makuha
'yung pera. Hindi ko mapigilan na titigan nang masama ang nasa harap ko ngayon.

“Thank you, Arrisea. Let's just hope that he spends it well more than you would
have spent it.” Ngumiti siya sa akin bago niya ako iwanan na tulala roon.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

I decided to talk to Gio. Adren's behavior is definitely not how I perceive him to
be. Literal na nasa loob ang kanyang kulo. Pero ayoko naman sana pangunahan kaya
minabuti ko na lumapit sa kilala kong close niyang kaibigan.

'Yun nga lang, kailangan ko pang kulitin ang isang ito upang maglabas ng mga alam
niya tungkol sa kanyang kaibigan.

"Nakita mo na ba magalit si Adren?"

Umiling si Gio. "Hindi pa."

"Mabigla?"

His eyes squinted and he looked at me like it was a ridiculous question.

"Hindi?"

"Tumatawa naman siya 'di ba?"

He shrugged.

"Minsan."

Napasabunot ako sa sarili kong buhok habang magkaharap kami ni Gio sa Student
Lounge, tambayan kapag free time o kaya uwian. Aircon kasi rito at pwede ka maki-
WiFi pero bukas lang tuwing hapon kapag tapos na ang klase. May mga kainan din dito
kaso mga franchise na stalls. Parang Bonanza area pero indoor.

I let out a long breath before resuming my questions. Seryoso akong bumaling kay
Gio na nakakunot ang noo sa akin.

"Mabait naman si Adren 'di ba?"

Despite the lack of emotions, my first impression for him was kind. Tinulungan niya
ako kahit hindi niya ako kilala at kahit mataray ako sa kanya nung una, he was
never rude and didn't really talk back.

Pero maaaring palabas lang ang lahat ng 'yon. Maybe he was like that to all of us
because this side of him wasn't supposed to be known.

"Oo? Teka nga," kumunot ang noo ni Gio. "Para mo namang sinasabi na wala akong
kwentang kaibigan!"

Ngumiwi ako. "Ngayon mo lang na-realize?"

I slouched down on the chair and rested my head on the metallic part of it.

Wala rin siyang masyadong alam kay Adren! I even had to drag him here to
interrogate him! Tapos pareho pala kaming walang alam sa kanya?

Gio caught my attention when he decided to open up something about Adren.

"Ang alam ko lang galing siya sa mayamang angkan," he shrugged. "Vieux riche."

“Ano?” my eyes narrowed upon hearing the unfamiliar word.

“Old rich,” Gio explained. “Alam mo 'yung mga angkan na minana lang 'yung yaman
nila? That type.”

"Tapos?"

"He's very elusive, Arrisea." His shoulders lifted in a shrug, his expression
turning into a serious one.

"Kahit ako minsan iniiwan niya sa ere, bigla-bigla na lang siyang nawawala. Ang
scary nga e. Pero di naman siya ghoster, promise." Bumalik na naman sa pagiging
tarantado ang mukha ni Gio.

I bit the insides of my cheeks. Nakakainis dahil lalo lang ako naging curious sa
kanya. It was supposed to be just a crush, pero lalo lamang lumalalim ang
nararamdaman ko sa kanya.
I was growing frustrated with my feelings. Hindi
even have time for love. Madalas ay pang-fling o
iba itong si Adren, iba ang epekto niya sa akin.
pakialam sa pera ng magulang niya. That asshole!
five hundred!
naman ako ganito sa iba, I rarely
past time lang talaga ito. Pero
Kahit na halos wala siyang
Isang linggo na grocery na rin ang

Dapat nga ma-turn off na ako e! We clearly have different mindsets, pero hindi ko
mapigilan isipin kung bakit siya ganun. I was like a freaking mouse, caught in his
trap. Wala na akong maisip kung hindi siya.

I just wanted to know, why did he act like that? Bakit ang laking issue sa kanya ng
pera? Did I really offend him just because I decided to give it back?

Then one day, I was walking with Suzette to the ABM Building. Pupunta na naman kami
sa favorite comfort room niya dahil maglalagay na naman siya ng liptint.

"Magpalipat ka na lang kaya sa ABM!" singhal ko. May CR naman sa building namin,
gusto niya talaga rito!

"Ayoko maraming math! Gusto ko talaga maging chef! Aanuhin ko ang mga numero?
Rekado ba 'yon sa mga lulutuin ko?" Suzette was dancing in the hallway, not minding
the people who keep glancing at us.

I became conscious because of it. Kami na nga lang ang dumadayo para sa banyo, kami
pa ang maingay at mukhang sagabal sa kanilang klase! It's really embarassing!

Ang ingay ni Suzette, nasa building kami ng ABM! Nandito pa naman si —

"I like you, Adren!"

Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko sa gulat. Nauna na si Suzette sa comfort room dahil

pinuntahan ko pa kung saan nanggaling ang boses na 'yon.

I leisurely check out where the voice came from. My heart was throbbing because of
the emotions I'm currently feeling right now. Halu-halo na sila sa aking tiyan.

I saw Adren and an unfamiliar girl who was bowing at him. May hawak itong box at
nakalahad kay Adren 'yung box. Mukhang ginawan siya ng explosion box nung babae.

I scoffed when I saw the design of the explosion box. Halatang mga mamahalin na
materials at stationery ang ginamit upang magawa ito.

Ang gastos naman, girl.

Nagkanlong ako sa isang gilid upang hindi maging masyadong halata sa kanilang
paningin.

I looked like someone snooping on them. Nakita ko ang bahagyang paglapit ni Adren
sa babae, he slowly reached for the explosion box. The way he was holding it,
masyadong mahigpit.

"Thank you," tinanggap ni Adren 'yung box. He was smiling.

Kinikilig na lumakad paalis 'yung babae. Adren only stood there while looking at
the box he was holding.

Para akong nabunutan ng tinik sa puso. I even sighed because this is a confirmation
that he might just be misunderstood. Siguro ay offended lang talaga siya noong
sinauli ko ang pera niya.

See? He's kind. He probably just don't know the value of money since he's rich.

Pero naestatwa ako sa kinatatayuan ko at namanhid nang makita ang sunod niyang
ginawa.

Sinuri niya 'yung box at binuksan. Marami itong laman na mga letters, pictures, at
mga kung anu-anong abubot na tungkol 'yata sa kanya. Tiningnan niya ito isa-isa
pero walang bakas ng kahit anong masayang emosyon sa kanyang mukha. He even looks
angry and hurt.

He examined the box as his expression darkened. He went towards the trashbin and I
just knew he's about to throw it away.

This ungrateful jerk!

I strode towards him while gritting my teeth.

“Alam mo bang ilang puno ang pinutol para magawa niya 'yan? Ilang octopus ang
kinuhanan ng ink para ma-print 'yan at ilang kanin ang ginamit niya para madikit
lahat ng 'yan?” I stopped him even before he can do what he wanted to do. I was
shaking in anger as I held on his wrist.

Hindi ko nga alam kung tama ba lahat ng sinabi ko! Malay ko ba kung saan gawa ang
ink at glue! Basta dapat hindi niya sayangin ang gawa nung babaing 'yon!

Adren looked at me with his lips parted, confusion written on his face. He pointed
towards the side of the trashbin, at agad naman akong natauhan. There was a row of
lockers for storage. Unti-unting nalaglag ang kamay ko sa pagkakahawak sa kanya.

“Ilalagay ko lang sana sa tuktok dahil ayoko ipasok sa classroom,” malamig niyang
tugon. I cleared my throat.

“Akala ko itatapon mo...”

“If you weren't there, I could have done that.” His tone was freezing cold. Kaya
naman agad akong lumingon sa kanya.

“Itatapon mo talaga?!” I asked in disbelief. I knew it from his expression! Pero

bakit hindi niya ginawa? At bakit gagawin niya pala dapat 'yon?

“The girl has a boyfriend, Arri.” He mumbled. “Isn't this cheating? How would you
feel if your boyfriend creates an explosion box for another girl?”

“Pwede mo naman i-tabi?”

“This is an evidence of cheating. I don't really want to be intertwined with any

scandals in the future, hindi ko lang tinapon dahil nandiyan ka.”

I widened my eyes. “Bakit? Mukha ba akong guardian angel? Don't worry, hindi kita
isusumbong sa langit.”

“No, you might rat me out.” He smiled, making it forcefully reach his eyes. “I
don't know you well and even if I do know you...”

He raked his eyes all over me making my heart beat race rapidly.

“I can't trust you that easily, sorry.”

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 8 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 8

Trust is not given but earned. Just like how things are suppose to be, you cannot
expect others to trust you in a world where betrayal exists. Mahirap ito ibigay at
naiintindihan ko siya. At kuha ko naman ang punto niya kung bakit hindi niya ito
maibibigay agad.

On the contrary, I trust people easily even if my intuitions are sometimes wrong. I
believe that if you break my trust once, you can never gain it again. Once is
enough when it comes to trusting someone. Mahirap na ibalik ang tiwala sa isang
tao, hindi tulad ng ibang bagay na madaling mapagbigyan.
It is also my way to know who really wants to be with me, para sa akin ay nasasala
ko kung sino ang totoo at hindi sa buhay ko.

It was our PE, I was sweating because we had to run laps and do various
recreational activities for this subject. Isang meeting lang naman ang PE pero
sobra sa pagod naman ang mga gawain.

I saw a familiar girl, walking towards another guy who's actually my blockmate.
Agad na kumunot ang noo ko.

Isn't that the girl who confessed to Adren?!

“Ang sweet nila, ano? Matagal na 'yung dalawa na 'yan, literal na walang titibag.”
Suzy exclaimed.

What Adren said was true. The girl is double crossing her boyfriend. My fists
tightened. Should I go tell him? Kita ko rito kung paano siya punasan nung babae at
mukhang alagang-alaga niya ito.

Ate, magkano magpagawa ng explosion box?

Umiling na lang ako. It's their problem, not mine. I already have a lot on my life,
ayoko na dagdagan pa.

Minabuti ko na munang umalis sa pwestong 'yon dahil baka ano pa ang magawa ko.

I saw Adren on one of the benches near the cafeteria, may binabasa siyang libro at
seryoso ang bawat paglipat niya ng mga pahina nito.

I can't help but admire how immaculate he looks like from afar. Mukha talaga siyang
mabait. Sadly, I think that is only the surface level.

Lumapit ako sa kanya. I was confident that he would at least know who I was now.

Umangat ang tingin niya sa akin.

"Bakit ka pinagpapawisan?" tanong niya habang may ngiti sa labi.

Nalaglag ang panga ko. Shit, oo nga pala! Lahat ng yabang ko ay nawala dahil
pawisan nga pala ako ngayon!

"Ang h-hot mo kasi," nauutal kong sambit.

Hanimal na sagot 'yan, Arrisea!

"Here," inabot niya ang panyo niya sa akin. "You can use it."

Agad naman akong umiling. "May towel ako sa classroom. Babatiin lang sana kita."

"Well, hello to you too." He decided to smile. As much as he looks good whenever he
smiles, pakiramdam ko talaga ay hindi siya ngumingiti nang totoo.

"Did you get rid of it?" tanong ko, pertaining to the explosion box he received.

His gaze went towards me and I feel like being frozen on the spot.

He felt...so cold.

His onyx eyes were like an abyss of darkness. I could not see any emotion in it.
Noon pa man ay tanging ang kulay lamang nito ang nakikita ko.

Ito rin ang nagpapalalim ng curiosity ko. Eyes are capable of showing emotion, in
fact it's a type of non-verbal communication. Madalas, hindi man sabihin ng isang
tao ang nararamdaman niya ay makikita mo naman ito sa kanilang mga mata. Unlike
other people, he knows how to hide his emotions so well.

"Yeah," binalik niya ang mga mata niya sa librong binabasa.

I mustered up the courage to ask. Kahit halos walang boses na lumabas sa aking mga
labi, I still tried.

"If she didn't have a boyfriend, itatabi mo ba ito?"

It was the first time I saw Adren's smile faltered.

"Hmm?"

Lumapit ako sa kanya, closing the remaining space between us. Hinarap ko siya nang
hindi siya makawala sa aking katanungan.

I was scared alright. The thought that he was not the same Adren I built in my mind
is already chaotic. Pero gusto ko lang malaman kung bakit siya naging ganito.

It is probably true that curiosity is the one that makes people move. Ito ang isa
sa mga bagay na naguudyok sa isang tao na gumalaw para mapunan ang gustong malaman.
"Would you have accept it? O hindi pa rin?" I snapped at him.

Suplado niya akong tinitigan pabalik bago siya ngumiwi. No more traces of his
angelic face remained. Although he still has the same features, pakiramdam ko ay
hindi na siya ang anghel na binubuo ko sa utak ko.

Tumingin siya sa akin, his eyes darkened and a smirk appeared on his lips.

"Arrisea, did I ask her to do that for me?"

I shook my head.

"Hindi—''

He cut me off by shrugging and looking at me with his furrowed brows. His lips
twitched into a thin smile before talking.

"Her time and effort were only wasted because she decided to spend it on me. Kung
sa boyfriend niya na lang sana ito ginawa, edi sana wala sa basurahan ngayon 'yung
gawa niya."

Umawang ang labi ko.

Did he destroy it, then?! Tinapon niya ba? Bakit ayaw niyang sagutin?

He has a point. Pero hindi ibig sabihin no'n ay pwede na niya itong sirain. If he
didn't like it, he could have donated it in a near junk shop. Magkano na rin kaya
ang kilo ng papel ngayon.

Matalim ang tingin ko sa kanya. I was not going to back down. Mali ang ginawa niya
kahit saan anggulo ito tingnan. It was easier to just reject it.

No one has the right to trample on someone's feelings. Kahit pa anak ka ng kung
sinong poncio pilato ay wala kang karapatan.

"Di mo na lang sana kinuha. Tinanggihan mo na lang sana." I point out.

"That's cruel of you, Arrisea. You wanted me to hurt her on the spot?" he said,
faking a concern tone.

Teka? Binabaliktad ako nito, ah?

"Bakit ako pa naging masama? Ang sinasabi ko lang sana di mo na lang kinuha kung
itatapon mo lang!"

Hanimal 'to! Magkano rin kaya ang gastusin diyan, print pa lang kaya ay mahal na!

"It's funny how you're considering her feelings but not her boyfriend's feelings,"
pabalang niyang sagot.

Natutop ang labi ko. As much as I wanted to deny it, hindi ko nga talaga iniisip
'yung boyfriend ng babae.

"I knew the girl, Arrisea. You can stalk her if you want," he had a hidden smile on
his face. "You can see how much she brags about her relationship on her social
media accounts."

"Pero tingnan mo nga naman, she still has time to have affection for others. Tunay
nga siyang mapagmahal," he almost hummed. Halatang sarkastiko ang bawat bitaw ng
pahayag.

"Dapat sinabi mo na lang sa kanya. Para alam niya kung saan siya mali. Hindi 'yung
tinapon mo o kung ano 'yung gawa niya para sa'yo."

He was avoiding my gaze. Alam ko naman sa sarili ko na hindi na siya nagbabasa. I

wonder, is this his way for me not to know what he really thinks?

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

He left me there knowing that I was still confuse because of his behavior. Ganito
ba talaga siya? Alam kong may dahilan sa ugaling pinapakita niya. Gusto ko itong
malaman. He was like a puzzle I wanted to solve. Gusto ko matunghayan kung bakit
gano'n ang kanyang pakikitungo kapag walang taong nakatingin.

He was apathetic, to be specific. Hindi tulad ng unang tingin ko sa kanya, parang

bumaliktad ang imahe niya sa akin. I thought that he was caring and really
thoughtful, pero mukhang maskara lamang ito na sinusuot niya kapag maraming tao ang
nakaharap.

"Gio..."

Umangat ang tingin ni Gio sa akin, iritado siya kanina habang pudpod ang mukha sa
notebook niya. Nasa bonanza area kami ngayon at nakaupo siya sa isa sa mga metallic
benches na para sa mga estudyante.

"Hindi ako secretary ni Adren, okay?" bumaling sa akin si Gio habang nakakunot ang
noo. "Hindi pa rin ba bumibigay? Ang bagal mo naman, Arri."
My lips grimaced at his statement.

I wanted to ask Gio if he was aware of Adren's true colors. I tried asking some
people I know from his strand and everyone says he's quiet, kind and generous.

Bakit parang ako lang 'yata nakakita?

Umupo ako sa harap niya at pinagsalubong ang aking dalawang kamay. Nagmukha akong
imbestigador sa aking ginawa.

"Say, did Adren ever told you something weird?"

He looks at me with disgust on his face.

"Kung dirty talk 'yan, please lang virgin pa ako."

Hinampas ko nga siya sa braso. "Seryoso kasi ako, may ginawa ba siya o sinabi na
kakaiba para sa'yo?"

Gio's lips created a small pout before he looks up at my side. Nakaramdam ako ng
presensya sa likuran ko. Halos tumayo ang mga balahibo ko sa likod ng aking leeg
dahil sa biglaang may nagtaas ng aking buhok.

A hot voice caressed my ears. "Why don't you ask me instead, Arrisea?"

Napalingon ako rito at nakitang nakaupo na sa tabi ko si Adren, wearing another

fake smile.

"Kaya nga, Arri. Nandiyan naman si Adren para sagutin ka." Gio uttered and went
back to scribbling down notes on his notebook.

"Baka busy siya," I said, stealing glances at Adren who was also looking at me with
the same amount of animosity as mine.

Pumalumbaba siya nang mapansin na hindi ko tinatanggal ang tingin ko sa kanya. I

really wanted to know his true nature. Kung mabait ba talaga siya o talagang
sinusunod niya lang ang tingin sa kanya ng tao.

"Gio, do you mind if I'll take Arrisea for a while?" tanong ni Adren kay Gio.

"Kahit huwag mo na ibalik," pagtataboy ni Gio. Seryoso kasi siyang nagbabasa ng

notes para sa physical science 'yata.
I scoffed when I saw his handwritten notes. Medyo nahiya rin ako dahil hindi ako
nagsusulat ng mga notes lalo na kung di naman required.

Ganito pala 'to mag-aral, parang sinasapian ng pagiging masungit.

My head turned towards Adren and frowned at his statement.

"Saan?" I asked Adren, he only gave a small smile.

"Just somewhere we could talk privately," he mumbled nonchalantly.

Hanimal na curiosity 'to.

Tumayo siya sa pagkakaupo at naglakad patungo sa isang direksyon. I followed him

and we stopped into a small staircase. It was at the most hidden area of the
school, sa isang college building pa ito.

"Mauuna ba ako umakyat?" tanong ko sa kanya.

He lead me to a secluded area where a small staircase was located. Ito ay paakyat
at mukhang rooftop ang pupuntahan namin. Kumunot ang noo ko dahil paano niya kaya
ito nalaman?

He shrugged. "I'll go first."

To my surprise, my lips parted and I looked towards him.

"Bakit?"

He leans towards me and whispered into my ears, nakikiliti ako sa boses niya.

"The stairs are steep, the person below will see what's underneath your skirt."

He moved backwards and I looked down on my skirt. Totoo nga naman ang sinabi niya.
My skirt was too short and there was a possibility...

Naramdaman ko na nagiinit ang pisngi ko. Kung mauuna nga ako, maaaring makita niya
ang shorts na suot ko.

Nauna na siya umakyat at sumunod ako. It was a roof top with a vast space, there
was nothing but white tiles on the floor. Ang malamig na hangin lang ang kasama
namin ngayon.
Umihip ang hangin kaya naman pumikit ako para maiwasan ang mapuwing.

I roamed my eyes around and can't help but admire this rooftop. Hindi siya gaanong
malinis dahil halatang walang masyadong tao ang pumupunta rito.

I looked down and saw some students walking. Kitang-kita ang aerial view ng UJD sa
parteng ito. For some reason, it made my skin crawl because I remembered Adren
knowing this place...

Para palang nagmamatyag siya sa bawat kilos ng nga tao.

I looked at Adren as the wind once again made me feel its breeze.

Buti na lang at hindi ma-araw dahil ayoko naman maging daing bigla.

"Sinasabi ko lang sa'yo kung balak mo akong hulugin, mauuna ka saakin." Banta ko sa
kanya.

"That's not how you commit murder, Arri. Obviously, if I do that — no one can be
convicted except for me." He answered making me widened my eyes. Sineryoso naman
niya?

"Pero sa klase ng justice system natin at sa pera na meron ako," he faked a smile.
"Malay mo biglang may lumutang na tao bigla at maging tatlo tayo rito."

"Pwede ba huwag ka ngiti nang ngiti? Nakakairita na palagi kang nakangiti tapos
peke naman. Ano ka? Mascot? Dapat palaging masaya?" iritadong komento ko sa kanya
at humalukipkip.

"Why are you curious about me, Arrisea? Is this genuine attraction or you just want
to dig dirt on me?"

"Naked truth?"

His forehead creased. "Naked truth?"

"Hubad na katotohanan," I shrugged. "Wala lang, crush lang kita. Gusto ko lang
malaman bakit ang plastik ng crush ko."

Hindi ko ugali ang manira ng tao. I have my own life to think of, bakit pa ako
magsasayang ng oras para lang umatake ng buhay ng iba? Mga wala lang sigurong
magawa sa buhay ang gano'n.
Lumingon siya sa akin at binigyan na naman ako ng ngiti. Dark eyes, fair white skin
and hair as black as onyx. His features were like sculpted to perfection. He really
looks like a fallen angel.

Yumupi ang ilang linya sa aking noo. The sudden realization made my face squinched.

Kaya ba ka-ugali niya si Lucifer?

"Do you honestly think people would believe you if you tell them?" he leans towards
the railings, a wicked smile on his face.

"A girl, from TVL, saying that the Reverio heir is what? Someone who doesn't accept
gifts from common people?" malamig na usal niya.

Totoo nga naman. He was rich and probably had connections that I couldn't offer. As
much as I hate the strand discrimination, idagdag pa na galing siya sa mas
tinitingalang strand kumpara sa tingin nila sa strand ko. He was certainly going to
be favored instead of me.

Pero wala nga akong balak isiwalat ito sa kanila. Adren has a reason for it and
it's not my call to tell anyone about it.

"Well, di ko naman balak. At saka, nasa kanila na 'yon kung maniniwala sila," sagot
ko sa kanya.

"Really..." tumango-tango siya pero para bang hindi siya naniniwala sa sinabi ko.
He was wearing a scowl on his face.

Suminghap ako. "Kahit ganun 'yung ginawa mo, I still believe there's goodness in
you."

Sabi ni Mama, bago ko raw husgahan ang isang tao palagi ko raw muna alamin ang
kwento nila. Hindi naman daw kasi maaaring malaman kung sino siya sa unang tingin
pa lang. Palaging may rason sa bawat aksyon ng isang tao.

"Kaya hanggang di pa kita kilala nang lubusan, hindi kita huhusgahan." I told him,
tinitingnan siya sa kanyang mga mata.

I saw how his eyes mocked me.

He looked at me like I was spouting fairytales in front of a thesis defense. Gano'n

ang level ng kanyang tingin. Minamaliit niya ang sinasabi ko sa kanya.

"Arrisea..." he chuckled. "Are you sure you're not already judging me?"
"May trust issues ka 'no? Hindi nga kasi di naman kita kilala pa nang lubusan..."

He looked at me, visibly amused.

"People will judge you for what they see, not for what they know." He says, lips
slightly parted.

"Not me," umiling-iling. "Hindi ako hurado para husgahan ka. Lalong hindi ako
bubblegum para maging judge. Hindi ako judger, in short."

He looks at me, bemused.

"Did you already know this place before we went here?" tanong niya na agad na
nagpakunot ng noo ko.

"Hindi?"

"Our school prevents other students from knowing this place. Hindi dahil sa
delikado ang lugar na ito," he walked towards the railings, hinawakan niya ang mga
kinakalawang na bakal. "It's just because it's the ugliest part of the school.
Tinago nila ito sa lahat dahil hindi pa ito umaabot sa kalidad ng buong school.
This place is the living proof that this school isn't as perfect as the school
administrators paints it to be."

"Just like how a person would hide every ugly part about them," Adren casted me a
glance. "Alam mo bang may sanction ang mga pupunta rito?"

Nanglaki ang mga mata ko.

"Bawiin mo 'yon! Bibingo na talaga ako sa good moral ko! Totoo ba?"

Shit naman! Palagi na nga akong late at napapaaway tapos madadagdagan na naman
'yung sanction ko sa prefect of disipline?!

"Don't worry, you're with me." He decided to wipe the hand that he used to touch
the metal railings. "Every little stain comes clean when it comes to me."

Namataan ko ang isang pamilyar na explosion box sa pinakagilid ng lugar na ito.

Agad na nalaglag ang panga ko dahil hindi pala niya ito tinapon.

I did judge him.

Nanglaki ang mga mata ko.

“Hindi mo tinapon?”

“I told you, I would have....” he clenched his jaw. “But for some reason, I can't
because your angry expression keeps on bugging me.”

He walked passed me, before telling me something.

"I know you find me interesting, but trust me — that interest would only lead you
to get hurt." He said, coldly.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 9 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 9

"Arrisea, my main girl!"

Niyakap ako nang mahigpit ni Franny. Agad ko naman binalik ang kanyang yakap at
nagtatawanan kaming humiwalay sa isa't isa. May suot siyang shades kahit wala
namang araw at may mga paper bag pa sa kanyang mga kamay.

Akala mo naman wala siya sa klase ngayon, mukha siyang tita from abroad.

"Kamusta ka naman? Miss niyo ako?" Kumindat pa si Franny.

"Oo naman Francisco, ikaw pa ba?" Ngumiti ako. "Pasalubong ko?"

Ngumiwi siya nang tawagin ko siya sa biological name niya. Franny or Francisco
Lacson is my gay friend. Siya rin ang nagpumilit sa akin na subukan ang UJD bilang
school sa senior highschool, may sariling business ang pamilya nila kaya naman
nagagawa niya ang kung ano man ang trip niya sa buhay.

"Ganda sa Cebu, girl! Maswerte si Ate sa mapapangasawa niya." Halakhak ni Franny

sabay lapag ng mga paperbags sa ibabaw ng desk namin.

Although he acts like a girl, he doesn't mind being labelled as he or male. Minsan
nga ay nalilito na rin siya sa gender identity niya, kaya naman daw niya kasing
landiin ang lahat.

"Ayan, dried mangoes kasing dry mo." Abot niya saakin ng isang kahon puno ng mga
nakabalot na dried mangoes.
I didn't hesitate to reach for it. Mas masarap talaga kapag buraot na galing sa
kaibigan ang pagkain. Araw-araw ko lang naman siyang pinadalhan ng mensahe na huwag
niya kaming kalimutan na dalhan ng pasalubong.

"Wala ka raw kalandian ngayon?" Pambungad ni Franny habang nakataas ang kilay.

Umiling ako. Binuksan ko ang isang balot ng dried mangoes at pinapak ito.

"Meron pero nilalandi ko lang hindi nagpapa-landi." Mabulunan ka sana ngayon,

Adren.

Franny frowned and asked.

"Ano strand?"

"ABM, sis."

Lumukot ang mukha niya. "Magi sis, strand ng mga magaling humawak ng pera pero
hindi ng relasyon."

I laughed. Hindi naman siguro lahat. It's funny how a strand can be generalized
just because of one person or a few people from the strand. Para na siyang course
sa college kung tutuusin.

"Naku sis, ako na bahala sa lahat. Magaling ako magluto ng giniling pero mas
magaling ako gumiling." I wiggled my eyebrows.

Tumawa si Franny. "Ang bibig mo talaga, Arrisea! Hindi mapigil!"

Ilang minuto na lamang ay magsisimula na ang klase kaya naman kumunot ang noo ko
nang mapagtantuan na wala pa pala si Suzy.

Baka late?

A few minutes later, nakatanggap ako ng text kay Suzette. Anong oras na at tumunog
na rin ang bell para sa homeroom. Mukhang dehado na siya kung sakali.

Suzette:

Nandiyan na si Ma'am?
Arrisea:

Late ka na, 'te.

Suzette:

Hindi ako late kung hindi ako papasok ;)

Arrisea:

Sige, zero ka kay bhoucxs Reynes. Meron tayong quiz.

Suzette:

Second subject na ako papasok.

Pakopya na lang ng notes sa first subject. Labyu!

Matapos ang klase ay dumiretso kami sa isa pa naming kaibigan na si Camisha na

naligaw sa GAS. Gusto niya kasi talaga na sa academic track ang kanyang strand kaya
naman sa GAS siya napadpad ngayon dahil hindi siya makapili sa tatlo pang academic
track na STEM, ABM at HUMSS.

Pangalawang subject na pumasok si Suzy, traffic daw kaya siya nahuli sa klase. I
mentally rolled my eyes because that's not true. Isang tawid lang ang bahay nila
Suzy. Walking distance na nga lang ito.

Franny scolded Suzette. "Pasalamat ka absent 'yung first subject natin, Suzy."

Suzette clicked her tongue. "Alam ko kasing absent siya kaya di na ako pumasok.
Advance ako mag-isip, inunahan ko na."

Nakarinig kami ng mahinang mga hikbi. Natanaw namin ang isang babae na magisang
nakaupo sa isang bench malapit sa building ng GAS. Pinupunasan niya ang mga mata
niya habang nanginginig ang kanyang mga balikat.

"Camisha?"

Her stance reminded me of my friend. Payat at medyo hindi kasi ito tuwid tuwing
umuupo. She looked to us and we confirmed that she was indeed our friend.

Nakita naming umiiyak si Camisha habang papalapit sa amin. Nagulat kami at agad na
sinalubong siya.
"Mukha ba kaming sibuyas, girl? Nakakaiyak ba kami? Bakit ka umiiyak?" Franny
immediately went towards Camisha. Hinawakan niya ito sa magkabilaang braso.

"Ganyan mo ba ka-miss si Franny? Nag-bakasyon lang siya, di naman namatay! Ayan o,

alive na alive." Dagdag ni Suzette, concern on her face.

"Sino aabangan sa kanto? Sabihin mo na," I was rubbing her back.

Sa aming apat, si Camisha ang pinakamabait. Siya rin kasi ang pinaka-bata kaya
naman halos baby ang tingin namin sa kanya.

She was hesitating to tell us her problem. Kaya naman lalo kong hinagod ang kanyang
likod. I didn't want to pressure her to tell us about her problems but the way she
was crying, it looked serious.

"Sino nagpaiyak sa'yo?" Franny asked, nakahalukipkip at nakataas ang isang kilay.

"W-wala," she continously denied. "Okay lang talaga ako."

"Sabihin mo na," pamimilit ko pero umiling lang siya.

"Sabihin mo na kasi," I asked impatiently.

"Wala nga —"

"Sabihin mo na nga kasi!" singhal ko sa kanya kaya naman agad siyang napabalikwas.

"S-sinabihan kasi akong wa-walang pangarap! Porke't nasa G-GAS ako!" humihikbi
niyang saad.

My mouth immediately curved into a grimace.

That made sense, kaya naman pala ganito na lamang ang iyak ng kaibigan ko. Someone
is attacking her choice of strand. Someone is attacking her dream. Someone is
actually attacking her choice.

Grabe, parang mga hindi pa tinutubuan ng mga buhok sa iba't ibang parte ng kanilang
katawan. Sobrang immature na atakehin ang isang tao dahil lang sa pinili nilang
tatahakin na landas.

Napaawang ang bibig ko. Sensitibo si Camisha sa ganitong bagay dahil kahit sarili
niyang magulang ay kinukwestiyon ang kinuha niyang strand. Hindi ba pwedeng gusto
niya lang mapag-aralan ang lahat? Ang alam ko sa GAS, pinag-aaralan nila ang
specialized subjects ng tatlo pang academic track.

"Magi 'yon, sis! Ako nga wala rin pangarap pero nasa TVL naman ako." Franny
commented, trying to lift up the mood.

"Sino nagsabi?" tanong ko.

"Okay na nga -"

"Sinong nagsabi?!"

"Si Bhena ng STEM!" sumbong ni Camisha.

That's it. Agad akong pumunta sa direksyon ng building ng STEM kasama si Franny,
Suzette at Camisha. Nakakuyom ang aking mga kamay.

"A-arrisea! Huwag na! Okay lang ako," sigaw ni Camisha at pinipigilan kami. She was
wiping her tears away.

Nilingon ko siya at umiling. Matapang pa rin na tinatahak ang landas papunta sa

building ng STEM.

I hate people who prey on the weak just because they know they can easily get away
with it.

"Pwes ako hindi! Sino sila para mangmaliit ng kapwa?!" I shouted back. "Higante ba
'yang mga 'yan? Ano sila? Si Goliath? Bwisit! Edi tayo si David!"

Ano ba tingin nila sa strand nila? Bakit ganito na lamang nila tratuhin ang mga
tulad namin na galing sa TVL? Nag-aaral din naman kami tulad nila, pareho lang kami
halos ng tuition, at hindi naman namin pinakikialaman ang strand nila.

Kung nahihirapan sila sa strand nila, bakit kailangan i-kumpara ang mga ginagawa
nila sa ginagawa namin? Hindi naman kami pareho ng mga specialized subjects. Kung
madali lang talaga ang ginagawa namin para sa kanila — totoo ba? Totoo bang madali
lang? Kung hindi naman nila ginagawa sa araw-araw nilang klase?

"Ako rin! Galit din ako kasi ako lang pwedeng mang-away kay Camisha!" Suzette was
stomping her feet as she march with me towards the STEM Building.

"Galit din ako kasi kararating ko lang mapapa-away kaagad ako."Stressed was evident
on Franny's face.
Nakarating kami sa hallway ng STEM building. The bulletin board was full of
science, math, and technology related terms. Meron akong nakitang sticky note na
may nakalagay na 'P6 ikaw ang aming pro5 <3' at hindi ko ito naintindihan kaya
hindi ako natawa.

May ilang mga estudyante na napalingon sa'min. They gave way when they notice my
blazing eyes trying to find the grade eleven rooms. Lumingon kay Camisha na mukhang
naiiyak muli.

"Anong section no'n? Three ba?" mahinahon na tanong ko kay Camisha.

"Oo. Pero okay na nga kasi---''

I immediately scanned every room number and saw the huge three on the side of the
door in the last part of the hallway. I went there, preparing for the worst case
possible. Hindi ko makalma ang galit sa aking sistema.

Malakas akong kumatok sa pinto ng STEM 3. Agad naman itong binuksan ng hindi
pamilyar na lalaki.

"Ay chicks!" gulat na bungad nung lalaki.

Sa sobrang galit ko ay napagbuntungan ko siya dahil nagawa pa niyang humarang sa

aking harapan.

"Ilabas niyo si Bhena o kayo ang ilalabas ko?!"

Nagulat naman 'yung lalaki sa akin, but he pointed towards a girl who was busy
flirting with a guy in the back. I look closely to the face of the girl and my lips
parted when I noticed she was the one who called me a vile name.

Bhena pala pangalan ng babaitang 'to.

Hinimas-himas ni Suzette ang braso ko na para bang makikipag-boxing ako.

"Ubusin mo buhok niyan, Arrisea! Si Franny 'yung sisigaw kapag may teacher!"

Lumapit ako kay Bhena at doon sa lalaking kalandian niya. Napatingin sa akin 'yung
lalaki at nahulog ito sa kanyang upuan. Si Bhena naman ay natulala sa akin. I
placed my hand on my hips while raising an eyebrow at her.

"Hi bhie," I smiled, my teeth were showing. Umupo ako sa desk niya at pinagmasdan
siya nang mabuti. Gusto ko ipakita kung gaano ako nanggigigil sa kanya.
"Arrisea?! Anong ginagawa mo rito?!" She panicked.

Ah, she knows me. Lalo lamang nakumpirma nito ang inakala ko kanina. She's
attacking my friend because of me.

"Bhie, anong sinabi mo sa kaibigan ko? Wala siyang pangarap?"

Her expression immediately changed into mockery. Tiningnan niya pa si Camisha bago
bumaling ng tingin sa akin. She had a look of triumph on her face.

Bhena laughed evilly.

"Totoo naman 'di ba? Undecided? Sabihin mo lang wala siyang kaya sa STEM, HUMSS at
ABM! Hindi siya papasa kaya nag-GAS siya!"

Bumuntong hininga ako. Iba talaga ang taas ng tingin ng iba sa academic track —
kahit sila mismo ay nagsisiraan kahit nasa iisang track na lang sila. Para namang
hindi kami pare-parehong kumakayod para makapagtapos, sobrang baba ng tingin nila
sa ibang strand at track.

"Ganito kasi 'yan, Bhie. Baka di ka aware pero required sila kuhanin 'yung mga
specialized niyo, bhie. Ibig sabihin kung ano man 'yung pinag-aaralan niyo o
ginagawa niyo, halos ganun din gagawin nila." I explained, trying to calm myself
down.

"So? Mas madali pa rin ang mga specialized subjects nila kumpara sa'min," she
sneered.

Imbis na gatungan ang sinabi niya ay minabuti ko na lamang depensahan ang sinabi
niya tungkol sa strand ni Camisha. Ang kulit din nito e, halos pareho nga lang ang
kinukuha ni Camisha sa strand nila!

"In fact nga bhie, ang hirap sa kanila dahil specialized ng tatlong academic
strands 'yung kukuhanin nila. Gets mo na ba, bhie?"

Tumayo siya at naghalukipkip habang mataray na tiningnan ako mula ulo hanggang paa.
May ngisi sa kanyang labi na tila ba minamaliit ako.

"Bakit naman ako makikinig sa'yo? TVL ka lang naman? Cookery pa! Luto-luto lang
tapos may grades ka na!"

Napahilot ako sa sentido ko bago siya kinaladkad papunta sa Biology Lab nila sa
building ng STEM. Mabuti na lang dahil mahilig kami mag-gala ni Suzette sa iba't
ibang building kaya alam namin ang bawat sikot ng bawat building.
"Halika rito!"

"Aray! Ano ba!" reklamo niya habang iniinda ang sakit ng kuko ko na nakabaon sa
braso niya.

I looked around until I saw what I was looking for. Ang mga naka-display na plastic
organs ang agad kong namataan nang huminto kami sa harap ng kwartong ito.

We stopped infront of their Biology Laboratory. Agad kong hinila ang mukha niya sa
harapan ng isang figurine ng utak.

"Ayan ginagamit 'yan, ha? Hindi lang dini-display! Baka kasi nakakalimutan mo na
gamitin!" Singhal ko sa kanya.

Agad niya ako sinabunutan at nakaladkad niya ako palabas ng building nila. I was
surprised at how she attacked me aggressively. Agad ko siyang hinaltak para gumanti
pero hindi ko namalayan na halos nasa labas na pala kami.

Some people even cheered for me being beaten heavily, hindi ko mahagilap sina Suzy
dahil halos matakpan na niya ang paningin ko sa higpit nang hawak niya sa aking
buhok. I can't open my eyes because I was wincing.

"Akala mo makukuha mo na lahat porke't maganda ka! Walang hiya ka, Arrisea!"

Ano namang kinalaman ng mukha ko rito?!

"Alam kong maganda ako, hindi ko naman tinatanggi!" I spat out and she glowered at
me. Mas masakit na ang bawat hatak niya sa buhok ko.

Masakit na ang anit ko sa pagkakasabunot niya. Hindi ako makaganti dahil may mga
tumutulong sa kanya na kaibigan niya 'yata sa STEM. Napatumba niya ako, my lips
were bleeding and my cheeks were getting red from the slaps she was giving me.

Hindi ako makaganti dahil sunod-sunod ang bawat atake niya. Parang ako 'yung robot
sa larong Tekken na hindi pwedeng lumaban pabalik.

"Ang tapang mong pumunta rito! Malandi ka! Porke't maganda ka lang akala mo lahat
ay makukuha mo? Ito bagay sa'yo!" Nakangisi niyang sabi habang nasa ibabaw ko siya
at pinagsasampal niya ako.

Ouch. Medyo masakit.

I heard drastic footsteps coming into our way. Ang mga nagtitiliang mga estudyante
ay tumahimik dahil sa biglang pagdating ng isang tao.
"What is going on?" A Professor came. Tumigil si Bhena at agad na tumayo.

"Siya po ang nagsimula!" turo sa akin ni Bhie. Unti-unti rin naman akong tumayo
kahit hindi ko maramdaman ang mukha ko sa sobrang hapdi.

I groaned upon noticing the wounds that were bleeding. Ayoko pa naman sa mga gamot
na nilalagay sa sugat! Ang sakit kaya! I looked around just to see a clear sight,
nabunutan ako ng tinik sa dibdib nang makitang wala ang mga kaibigan ko.

Buti na lang wala 'yung tatlo, ayokong madamay sila.

Some of those who were watching even sided with Bhena. Syempre nga naman, ka-strand
nila ito. I was not from them and I'm even from TVL - 'yung strand na halos
maliitin nila porke't mas marami silang math na subjects.

"Totoo po 'yun!"

"Si Arrisea nag-simula!"

"Arrisea, basagulera!"

The shouting from her friends made me rolled my eyes. Sarap nilang bigyan ng high
five sa mukha. Tinaas ko ang dalawa kong kamay bilang pagsuko.

I lost hope when no one tried to defy their claims, ang iba ay nag patay malisya na
lamang dahil sa takot na madamay. Sa POD siguro ako mapupunta ngayon. This is
actually considered a major offense. Hindi ko alam paano ko ito ipapaliwanag kay
Mama. Pero pinagsisisihan ko ba? Hindi. Kailan pa naging mali ang ipaglaban ang
sarili mo?

A cold voice suddenly broke the silence.

"I beg to differ po, they attacked Arrisea first."

Nanghihina na ako pero nagawa ko pang tumingin sa kanya.

He was there in his usual stance, eyes as cold as winter and his hands on his
pockets. Unti-unti siyang lumapit sa direksyon namin. Sa hindi ko malamang dahilan
ay mukha siyang galing sa isang telenovela at siya 'yung bidang lalaki na
magliligtas sa akin gamit ng kanyang pera.

I snickered at the thought. Hindi bagay sa akin ang maging isang San Chai. Ayoko
naman na araw-araw akong gagawing alila dahil lang sa pag-ibig.
Adren was looking at me. Agad siyang bumuntong hininga.

His attention went to the Professor and he cleared his throat. Ang maamo niyang
mukha ang siyang nagdala ng buong pahayag niya.

"I'm a bystander po so I have no reason to lie unlike those who were clearly
helping this girl beat her up." Adren explained briefly as his gaze went towards
Bhena who had her chin upwards. Mataas talaga ang tingin nitong babaitang ito.

"Still, Hijo..." the Professor looked hesitant. Napangisi ako, I bet this is a
Professor from the STEM strand.

Mahirap nga naman kung tatalikuran niya ang sarili niyang mga estudyante. This is a
huge pressure for him. Sino ba naman si Adren para kampihan niya kumpara sa umpukan
ng mga STEM students na nanonood sa kanya ngayon?

Adren touch his lips before pursing it.

He gave a small smile and extended his hand.

"I'm Adonis Renoir Reverio po pala, if this will be written in the Prefect of
Disipline."

The Professor widen his eyes. "Reverio ba kamo? Adren? The heir of the Reverios?"

Adren only smiled as response to the claims. Natauhan ang Professor at agad na
bumaling sa direksyon nina Bhena.

Parang may pinihit na switch sa Professor dahil agad na nawala ang pagdadalawang
isip sa kanyang mukha.

"Don't worry, Hijo. I'll handle this and make sure that whoever hurt the girl will
be responsible." Tumikhim pa 'yung Professor bago niya bigyan nang masamang tingin
ang grupo nila Bhie.

Tumingin ako kay Adren. Umawang ang labi ko dahil sa nangyari. He only had to say
his name and everything turns around.

He tilted his head and smiled at me. "Samahan na kita sa clinic?"

Tumango naman ako. Ilang beses pa akong kumurap bago niya nilapitan upang tulungan
na maglakad. My face was full of bruises and I could still feel how Bhena pulled my
hair. Nahihiya man ako tinanggap ko ang alok ni Adren na pumunta ng clinic.
"Iba talaga kapag maganda..." I heard someone whispered as they walk past us. Hindi
ko na lamang ito pinansin. I have just dodge a fight, ayoko na may humabol pa dahil
dehado talaga ako.

Naglakad kami ni Adren palayo sa building ng STEM. From my peripheral view, I can
see the Professor yelling at Bhena. I felt guilty, ako naman kasi talaga ang nag-
simula ng gulo. Pero kapag naalala ko ang mga sinabi niya kay Camisha, I can't help
but think she deserved that scolding.

Malayo na kami sa building ng STEM nang may sumigaw ng pangalan ko.

"Arrisea!"

My friends immediately went to me. Agad na kinapkap ni Franny ang mukha ko at

tiningnan naman ni Camisha at Suzette ang mga sugat na natamo ko. They were
inspecting my entire body. Lumayo naman si Adren at kita ko kung paano siya
nagbigay ng distansya para sa mga kaibigan ko.

"Ready na kami makipag-sabunutan e!" sabi ni Suzy, nagaalala ang tono.

"Sus, kapag gano'n huwag na kayo makisali! Madadamay kayo!" sabi ko sa kanila.

"Sorry, Arrisea..." naiiyak na naman si Camisha. Ginulo ko ang buhok niya at

ngumiti.

It's not her fault. It is never her fault. I wonder why people tend to feel like
they were the ones who have caused the reason why they are oppressed? Ganito na
lamang ba talaga ang buhay?

"Baliw! Kapag gano'n dapat di pinapalagpas kasi masasanay sila."

"Arrisea.." seryosong tumingin sa akin si Franny at hinila ako palapit sa kanya, it

made me wince because he was holding some of the scratches I had. "Reresbak na
dapat kami kaso pinigilan kami nung pogi na 'yon."

Franny pointed at Adren who was looking at us. The way he stares, as if he's trying
to identify us. Para bang inaalam niya ang mga pagkatao namin. Napalunok ako ng
sarili kong laway.

I wanted to thank him. Alam ko naman na kanina ay siguradong hindi ako ang
kakampihan. Pero dahil sa kanya, he was able to turn the tables around.

"Punta lang kami sa clinic," paalam ko sa kanila.

"Boyfriend mo?" Nanglalaki ang mga mata ni Franny. "Jackpot ka, main girl!"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Nilalandi ko nga, ayaw magpa-landi."

Franny excitedly clapped his hands. Halos kumikinang ang mga mata dahil sa aking
isinawalat.

"Landiin mo, huwag ka papayag na hindi ka malalahian! Kailangan ng mundo ng mga

magagandang nilalang!"

"Franny!" saway ko.

Nagulat ako dahil tinulak ako ni Franny sa direksyon ni Adren.

Parang tanga! Kitang kakagaling ko lang sa bakbakan! Mukhang dito pa 'yata ako
mababalian ng buto.

"Go pokers!"

Napakagat ako ng labi habang naglalakad sa direksyon ni Adren. He was only staring
at me. Sabay kaming naglakad papunta sa clinic. He was walking leisurely while I
follow his lead.

"You have lively friends." He commented while we were walking towards the clinic.

"Gio's lively too." Balik ko sa kanya.

He shrugged. "Gio isn't the type to get into fights. He's the peace maker."

I chortled because of that. Si Gio nga 'yung mukhang masasapak sa gitna ng away
dahil umaawat siya. I don't know, he just looks like that type of guy.

Tumigil ako sa paglalakad at hinawakan siya sa braso. He stopped because of my

sudden movement. Nakita ko na wala pa rin bakas ng kahit anong emosyon sa mukha
niya.

"Why did you help me?"

Bumaling siya sa akin ng tingin. His eyes pierced through me as he wiped the blood
on my lips using his thumb. Tinitigan niya ito bago pinunas sa kanyang panyo.
"What do you think?"

I pretended to think and pointed towards upwards like there's a lightbulb.

"Crush mo ako?"

"Your confidence is topnotch," he shook his head. "but why would I like someone who
keeps on getting into fights?"

Ngumuso naman ako.

"Edi bakit?" I straight forwardly asked him. "Bakit mo ako tinulungan?"

He didn't look like someone who would just help without any reason. Kung ito pa
siguro ang Adren na kilala ko noon, baka meron pang pagasa pero dahil alam ko na
ang tunay niyang kulay - it was impossible that he would just help me because he's
charitable.

"I don't know..." he averted his gaze as his steps were getting ahead compare to
mine. "And I don't know wanna know why."

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 10 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 10

"Feeling ko talaga crush mo ako,” I chimed in. “I mean, oo medyo tagilid ugali mo
pero nababago pa naman ang ugali.”

A smile coated with sarcasm appeared on his lips. Sa tingin ko ay katawa-tawa ako
sa paningin niya ngayon.

I realized something so I halted from my track. Gusto ko pa siyang makilala at kung

sa clinic lang kami tatambay ay baka sawayin pa kami ng nurse na naka-duty ngayon.
I cleared my throat to get his attention.

"Rooftop na lang tayo. Makiki-tsismis pa 'yung mga nurse sa clinic," saad ko sa

kanya.

Tumitig lang siya sa akin nang ilang segundo, he even lifted one of his eyebrows.

"What makes you think I would want to stay with you?" tanong niya.
I shrugged and confidently smiled at him. "Bakit ka naman kakabahan? Are you
threatened that you'll have to eat your words that you don't like me?"

I saw how his mouth slackened, plastering a disbelief expression on his angelic
face. Agad siyang umiling at tumalikod sa akin.

I initially thought he would back out. Pangit nga naman kung makikita na kasama
niya ang isang tulad ko na halos kilala dahil sa mga gulong nasangkutan. Laking
gulat ko nang lumingon muli siya at bumuntong hininga.

"I'll get the first aid, you can go there and I'll follow."

Hindi na niya muli pinakita ang ekspresyon niya at pumunta sa mismong clinic.

I smirked and mentally praise every saints that I could thank for! Pinakalma ko ang
sarili ko bago tumango sa kanya at nauna na sa rooftop kung saan niya ako dinala
noon.

Sumunod nga siya habang may bitbit na first aid box, he looked at my position and
frowned upon noticing I sat down on the ground.

"What?" I shot up a brow. "Ang arte mo naman! Alikabok lang 'yan!"

Hinila ko siya upang makaupo rin siya sa tabi ko. He look so annoyed but for some
reason I was happy to see this side of him. Ayoko na puro pekeng ngiti lang ang
nakikita ko sa kanya.

Binigyan niya ako ng cold compressed para ilagay sa pisngi ko. He was tending the
scratches I got from Bhena's friends. Dahan-dahan ang bawat pagdapo ng bulak na may
betadine sa mga kalmot ni Bhena sa akin.

"Sanay na sanay ka sa paggamot, ha?" I said, upon observing that he knows how to
treat the wounds well.

Hindi siya umimik. Patuloy lamang sa paglagay ng gamot sa akin. The way his fingers
touch my skin creates a sensation I never felt before.

"Talent mo ba ito? You could be a doctor," puna ko sa kanya nang makita na sobrang
linis niya sa paglagay ng gamot sa mga sugat ko.

"I took ABM, malayo sa medical field ang strand ko para maging doctor." His cold
response made me stiffened. Na-offend na naman ba siya?
"So? Senior highschool ka pa lang naman. Meron nga sa college, nags-shift pa dahil
doon lang nila natagpuan 'yung passion nila," katwiran ko sa kanya.

I know strands are supposed to be college preparatory. Dagdag dalawang taon upang
mapagisipan mo kung ito ba talaga ang gusto mong tahakin na landas. Maswerte ang
mga taong may plano na sa buhay at alam na agad kung ano ang gusto nila sa
kinabukasan nila. Yet, not everyone has the privilege to choose the life and career
that they want to have.

"It destroys the purpose of the strands then or the whole K-12 curriculum rather,"
he shrugged it off like it was nothing. I felt offended, para kasing sinabi niya na
bawal na magbago ang sistemang itinayo nila.

"They offer bridging programs and classes for those who want to take another route,
asshole. Baka di mo alam." Umirap ako sa kanya.

He shifted the topic. Mukhang hindi siya interesado na pagusapan ito o baka
naramdaman niya ang inis ko dahil tumikhim siya.

"Hindi ka gumanti?"

Although I don't know Adren's interior motives, he was very gentle when it comes to
helping me with my wounds. Pinipigilan ko nga ang kiligin dahil masakit ang pisngi
ko, hindi ako masyadong maka-ngiti.

"Hindi ako naka-ganti. Pero okay na rin na pinatawag siya sa POD, ayoko lang kasing
minamaliit 'yung kaibigan ko lalo na pagdating sa strands," sagot ko.

Wala naman kasi sa strand ang basehan ng talino o kakayahan ng isang estudyante.
Kaya lang naman ginawa ang mga strands para mas magkaroon ng schema o prior
knowledge sa pipiliin nilang kurso sa college. May mga hindi nga tugma ang kinuhang
strand sa kukuhanin nilang course sa college e.

Why would people belittle someone's strand? Para na rin nilang minamaliit ang mga
pangarap ng mga ito. No one should be judge based on their careers, as long as it's
legal and no one is being harmed --- I think all careers should be respected
equally.

"You shouldn't hurt her physically," Umiling-iling si Adren habang dinadampi ang
bulak na may betadine sa aking braso. I flinched as the pain starts to register on
my body.

I agreed. "I know. Masama ang gumanti."

Sa totoo lang hindi naman kasi talaga ito magiging tama. You do not fight hate with
hate. You do not let it consume you but you'll need the courage to forgive them.
Hindi ko nga lang magawa. Tulad nga ng sinabi ko, hindi ako anghel at hindi ko pa
siguro kayang gawin 'yon. Pero pinatawad ko na siya dahil ayoko na ulit makita ang
mukha niya.

Adren looks at me with confusion. His tongue was touching his left cheek from the
inside of his mouth. Para bang hindi siya makapaniwala sa sinabi ko.

"Bakit?"

"I meant something else." A ghostly smile appeared on his face.

"Someone told me before that you shouldn't hurt them physically because physical
wounds can heal in an instant," his fingers were tracing the scratches on my arm.

"Hurt them where it hurts the most," his lips caressed my ears. "Hurt them
emotionally, Arrisea. Hurt them where no one else can see their pain and you'll
taste how sweet it is to know they're in pain but no one else can help them to end
it."

Tinulak ko siya. Tinungkod niya ang kanyang mga kamay para di siya matumba.

He look stunned when I did that. Ako naman ay agad na kumunot ang noo sa sinabi
niya.

“Sino naman nagsabi sa'yo niyan?” singhal ko sa kanya.

"I was just sharing my thoughts." He said, maintaining an innocent look on his
face.

Like he didn't say anything bad.

Like no one told him what he said was wrong.

It was scary how heavenly divine his looks were but his thoughts were as dark as it
could be.

Who would intend to hurt someone emotionally?

Bumuntong hininga ako.

I admit I'm wrong in the part where I fight back in physical fights. Pero di ko
naman sasadyain ang makasakit ng damdamin ng tao!

"Since naka-shareit ka naman ngayon, mind sharing why you think like that?"
His eyes softens and I swear if I could just pause this moment I would. Nakakainis
dahil mukha talaga siyang anghel!

"My Mom and Dad got into an accident ever since I was a child, no one was there for
me." He began talking and my heart immediately felt sad for him.

“I'm sorry...” simpatya ko.

He continued. "My grandfather didn't also care for me and only took care of our
business."

A solemn expression on his face. Awang-awa na talaga ako sa kanya ngayon at napawi
lahat ng inis ko sa kanya. I knew there was a reason! Walang sungay 'to kung
inalagaan lang noon!

"I grew up alone and once our house was set into fire I almost died." He was
looking at me and I was just nodding my head trying to tell him to keep on talking.

He let out a long sigh. "My girlfriend from junior highschool cheated on me and got
pregnant."

I can understand him now.

He had a rough life. Kaya naman ganito na lamang ang mga iniisip niya. Lumamlam ang
mga mata ko.

"I can share your pain if you want to, you don't have to go through it alone."
Hinawakan ko siya sa kamay at hinimas-himas pa ito. If only I can take some of his
pain away.

Natigilan siya nang gawin ko ito. His eyes widened a fraction.

“Wow,” he looked shock, lips parted. “I didn't know that I can really deceive
people tha easily.”

Nalaglag ang panga ko at hindi ako makapaniwalang tumitig sa kanya.

“Hindi 'yon totoo? Lahat ng 'yon?”

Umiling naman siya.

"I made those up, none of those were the real ones.”
Kumunot ang noo ko at binato siya ng mga bulak na nasa first aid kit sa gilid ko.
Napaka-walang hiya!

“I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable.” He gives another fake smile.
“Someone just told me that in order to hurt someone, it must be done where no one
can heal it.”

My heart sank. The pain in his voice was evident.

“Tarantado 'yung nagsabi no'n,” tumikhim ako.

“Hm? I don't think so...”

My eyes cast downwards because I feel how insincere he was when he spoke those
words. Pero hindi ko alam kung parte na naman ba ito ng maskara niya.

People tend to create another version of themselves in order to protect their

vulnerable side. Mahirap naman kasi talagang ipakita kung sino ka talaga sa mga
tao. It is because we tend to judge without knowing the reasons behind it. We tend
to only appreciate the surface.

I didn't push it further. His eyes hesitated to look at me. Nagulat na lamang ako
nang tuluyan na siyang tumayo.

“I have to go...” halos napapaos niyang banggit.

Tumango naman ako at akmang sasamahan siya pero agad siyang lumayo sa akin. Parang
meron na namang pader sa pagitan namin.

He went outside and left me alone. Tumingin naman ako sa langit at dinamdam ang
bawat hangin na dumadapo sa aking balat. I decide to gaze at the clouds and
immediately compared him to it.

These clouds looked like they're made for the people to enjoy the sun light. It is
immediately concluded that clouds are there to accompany the sun that brings warmth
to the people. The truth is, these clouds are hiding potential storms in them. And
no one would have guess it because all they see is the clouds blending with the sun
— not knowing the disastrous rain that is about to come.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 11 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 11
Gio:

Kung hindi siya para saakin

Huwag na rin siya mapunta sa iba
Para ang ending
Kami pa rin para sa isa't isa ;)

#G00dAFTIeEE
#M4yp4s0k
#zhuP3rs4dAQ
#HiCrusHfANSenEEnmOuhn4aQ

My brows furrowed upon receiving Gio's text. Madalas na ang mga group messages or
GM niya kaya naman nagtataka ako kung sino ba talaga ang pinariringgan nito.

Arrisea:

Usap tayo.

Gio:

Bakit na naman?

Hindi naman ikaw 'yung crush ko.

Arrisea:

May baon akong shanghai.

Gio:

Saan

Kailan

Now na ba?

Arrisea:

Main Caf.
Ilang minuto lang akong naghintay at dumating na si Gio na may ngisi sa labi. May
groupings si Suzette at naghahabol naman si Franny dahil sa ilang araw siyang
absent. Camisha was also busy on her own strand.

May inabot akong tupperware kay Gio. Malaki ang ngiti ni Gio habang papaupo pa
lang. Tinanggal niya ang takip ng tupperware at tutusok na dapat ng isa nang
pigilan ko siya.

He pouted. "Duda ko na, may bayad 'to e."

"May tanong lang ako."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Bakit kasi hindi mo na lang i-search si Adren sa

google."

Ngumuso ako. I did and all I got was basic information. Hindi pa nga ito kumpleto
dahil mukhang hindi rin masyadong nilalagay sa publiko ang tungkol sa kanilang
pamilya.

"Wala namang lumalabas!"

"Tungkol saan ba? Wala rin akong masyadong alam sa kanya e." Gio blow out his
cheeks. "Anyway, ask away."

I cleared my throat and sharply looked at him.

"Did his parents died?"

Nanglaki ang mga mata niya.

"No? Buhay na buhay 'yung parents niya..."

"What about his grandfather? Pinabayaan ba siya nito?" I keep pressing questions.

Gio looked at me with confusion.

"No..." Gio licked his lower lip. "Saan ba 'yan galing, Arri? As far as I know,
Adren's the favorite and was named as the heir to their chain of businesses. I met
his Lolo once and he was a jolly man."

Another lie. Napatigalgal ako bago tuluyang bumuntong hininga.

"Nasunog ba bahay nila noon?"

Umiling-iling si Gio. "With the security of their mansions? Probably not."

Did I really fall for his lies? Inamin naman niyang hindi totoo ang mga sinabi
niya, pero gusto ko talagang malaman kung bakit niya sinabi ang mga 'yon.

"Did his previous girlfriend cheated and got pregnant?"

Natigilan si Gio. Tumusok siya ng shanghai at kinagatan ito.

"Masarap timpla ng shanghai niyo!" He beamed.

Bakit di niya sinagot?

Napahawak ako sa bibig ko, it turned into a shape of 'o'. Was that true, then? Did
his heart got broken and that's why he acts so heartless?

"Grabe, sinayang naman siya nung ex niya." Bumuntong hininga ako at napasandal sa
upuan. “Nandito naman ako, mas maganda pa.”

Gio tilts his head and blink a few times.

"Oh no! Don't get me wrong. Natatakam na kasi ako sa shanghai kaya di ko nasagot."
Halakhak niya. Giongina.

"Adren's ex-girlfriends are all from the elite circle. So far, wala akong kilalang
nabuntis o ano." Gio said, shrugging. "It will surely ruin their reputation if that
happens, though."

Hindi ako makapag-salita. I was processing what Gio just said. Napasapo ako sa
aking sentido. Hindi na kinakaya ang mga impormasyon na binibigay sa akin.

I should be busy with something else! Dapat ay may iba akong pinagkakaabalahan e.

Tuwing nakikita ko si Adren, parang lalo lang akong nahuhulog sa isang patibong.

"Hindi kita tinatakot, Arrisea ha! Mabait naman si Adren, he even likes
participating in charities and helping those who are in need." Nakita ko na parang
gustong bawiin ni Gio ang lahat ng sinabi niya saakin, panic laced on his voice.

"No, it's fine..."

If I can't get answers from his friends then I'll do it myself.

"Anong paboritong pagkain ni Adren?" tanong ko.

Nagkibit ng balikat si Gio. He continued eating his shanghai before answering.

"Hindi ko alam e, hindi naman siya sumasabay sa'min kumain."

Adren was really someone who's hard to crack.

But I'm not someone who easily gives up on things that I want either. I had to know
why he acts like that and what is the reason why he's always plastering a fake
smile on his face.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"Hi!" Umupo ako sa tabi ni Adren.

We were currently at the rooftop. It was our breaktime, kahapon ay tinanong ko kay
Gio kung may araw ba na parehas kami ng breaktime. Sumakto naman na ngayon ay
pareho kami ng oras ng break. Minsan kasi 4 courses pa bago kami mag-break tapos
mauuna mag-breaktime ang ibang strands.

"Hi, Arrisea." Adren looked shock upon seeing me but immediately flashed a smiled.

It made me stiffened on my seat. Iba talaga ang epekto ng ngiti ng isang ito.
Sometimes, it is really creepy that he has a smile on his face. Para kasing isa
itong mannerism na hindi niya magawang tigilan.

Kumalma ka, Arrisea. You want answers, right?

"Bakit wala kang pagkain?" tanong ko habang nilalabas ang tupperware na dala ko.

"I'll eat later," maikling sagot niya.

"Nope, sabay tayo kakain." sambit ko habang hinahanda ang baon ko.

Caldereta lang naman ang hinanda ko ngayon kasi sweldo kahapon ni Mama, bigatin mga
ulam namin.

His eyes went towards the tupperware. Agad siyang umiling at iniwas ang tingin.
"Busog pa ako." He declined.

"Kumain ka."Pinanglakihan ko siya ng mata. Nilabas ko ang kutsara at tinidor ko.

"Tusukin kita riyan, nag-dala ako ng masarap na ulam kahit mahirap 'to hugasan pag-
uwi dahil sa sarsa."

Sobrang ayoko talaga nagbabaon ng mga may sarsa dahil mahirap hugasan tapos aayawan
niya lang itong hinanda ko? Huwag niya ako subukan!

Patuloy lang siya sa pagtanggi. "You only have a pair of utensils. Pang-isang tao
lang. You should eat-"

He wasn't able to finished his sentence. Sinubo ko na sa kanya ang unang sandok ko
gamit ng kutsara. Dinamihan ko talaga 'yung ulam.

"I can use the fork. Kung di ka sanay na kutsara lang, susubuan na kita." Kumuha
ulit ako at tinapat sa bibig niya. "Kumain ka na."

He snatch the spoon on my hand begrudgingly. Akala mo talaga napipilitan, ayaw na

lang aminin na masarap ako mag-luto.

"What do you call this dish?" tanong niya matapos niya makailang subo.

Ngumisi ako. See? Gusto niya rin naman pala. Iba talaga ang alindog ng mga pagkain
ng pinoy!

"Caldereta. Bakit?" Umangat ang tingin ko sa kanya. I was also eating using my
fork.

"It tastes nice." He was still chewing the food. Para bang nilalasahan niya talaga.

"Sabi ko kasi sa'yo masarap ako e," Ngumisi ako sa kanya. "Masarap ako mag-luto."

He only stared at me. A smile appeared on his face again. Ngumiwi naman ako dahil
hindi ko na naman alam kung totoo ba ang ngiti niya. I wonder how much will it cost
for him to smile without making it feel like it is not real.

"Alam mo kasi may kasama 'yang pagmamahal kaya masarap," sabi ko sa kanya habang
dinuduro ang baon ko.

"Arri, do you believe in love?" His eyes softens but it didn't last long. He
concealed it with another smile.
His question made me stunned.

"Oo naman. True love exists! Hindi tayo mabubuhay kung wala ang pag-ibig." I raised
my fists in the air. "Lalo na kung ako true love mo."

I winked after telling him that. Nawala ang ngiti sa labi niya at bumaba ang
kanyang tingin sa caldereta na nakahanda sa harap namin.

He asked. "Don't you ever wonder? That maybe love doesn't actually exist? Only
fidelity?"

He continued softly asking, "How could you even believe in love when fidelity is
being questioned in this world?"

"Hindi ba pwedeng 'what is love?' lang 'yung tanong mo?" Ngumiwi ako sa kanya.
"Tapos ang sagot ko ay 'love is you'?"

He frowned at me and he covered his lips with his palm. I could hear his muffled
laughter.

Ang cute, tangina.

"Seryoso ako sa'yo," sambit ko habang tinitingnan siya sa mga mata. "I wanna know
you, Adren."

His jaw tightened before giving me a ghost of smile.

"You wouldn't like me that much anymore. You're just like the rest who told me they
want to know me..."

"Pero hindi nila nagawa 'di ba?"

Isang malaking misteryo si Adren para sa akin. Para sa lahat. Para sa mga akala na
kilala na siya. He was probably like this to almost everyone. I wanna know why he
is acting like this. May kinalaman kaya ang mga sinabi niya noon?

Gio told me that every thing that he have said is false. Pero sa loob ko ay
pakiramdam ko may isa roon na malapit sa katotohanan. I can't just pinpoint what it
is.

"They did. They got to know me..." he abruptly answered.

"What about this side?" tanong ko sa kanya. I pointed towards his forehead. "This
dark thoughts of yours."
"Why are you so curious about me?" tanong ni Adren, almost defensive. "Masokista ka
ba? Do you like having someone who has dark thoughts like me? Is that it?"

Ngumiwi ako at agad na umiling.

"Ew, hard pass nga talaga ako sa mga tulad mong may hinanakit sa mundo." I
chuckled. "Pero, ewan ko ba kung bakit gusto kong malaman kung bakit ka ganyan. Is
this because of your upbringing?"

I kinda relate to him in some way. I was raised in a broken family. Hindi pa
nakatulong na nagkaroon agad ng bagong pamilya ang Papa ko nang hindi alam ni Mama.
It made me view things differently than those who have complete family. Hindi naman
kulang ang pakiramdam ko pero minsan iniisip ko kung ano ang pakiramdam ng buo ang
pamilya at kumpleto ang bawat miyembro nito.

I wonder if Adren is like this too because of his family? Kaya ba siya ganito dahil
sa sitwasyon ng pamilya niya?

He flinched. Agad na naman siyang ngumiti. Iniwas niya ang kanyang tingin at pilit
na binabago ang direksyon ng usapan.

"My family is great." He said firmly. Agad akong nagtaas ng kilay.

"When you told me those lies, most of them were about your family..."

"Don't push it..." malamig niyang usal. "I said, my family is great so don't
question it anymore."

Ngumuso ako at unti-unting niligpit ang kinainan namin. Hindi siya umiimik kaya
naman minabuti kong tanungin siya tungkol sa napagtantuan ko.

"The lie that you told me about your parents is they are already dead. Gano'n ba
sila sa isip -" I stopped when I saw him already looking at me coldly.

Wala na ang maamong mukha at mala-anghel niyang maskara. I swallowed hard when I
realized I went overboard. Pero mukhang tama nga ako.

This has something to do with his parents. No child would ever want their parents
to be harmed even if it was merely a false claim - unless they have done something
for the child to wish them death itself.

Lumamlam ang kanyang mga mata. "Sorry..."

I looked at him and saw that he had a worried expression on his face, like if he
didn't apologized then I'll have to reprimand him. Parang takot siyang magkamali.
Unti-unti akong tumango sa kanya.

"Sorry din, I didn't mean to invade your privacy. I just wanted to know..."

Hindi ko siguro dapat ito minamadali. The more that I force him to open up, the
more that he will build his walls to block me.

"Do you have a bank account?" He asked, out of the blue.

Kumunot ang noo ko sa tanong niya. It is not like I want him to pay for my
presence. Gusto ko talaga siyang makilala pa. I'm not even after his money at all.

"Bakit? Wala naman bayad 'yung pagkain ko."

He reached for his wallet, kumuha siya ng limang libo. He gave it to me before
standing up.

"What's this for?!" protesta ko habang nakaawang ang bibig. Hindi makapaniwala na
five thousand na agad ang caldereta na hinanda ko. I looked up to him.

He smirked. "Investment."

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 12 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Warning: read at your own risk.

^TW// death, murder

Kabanata 12

"Commitment, gaga ka talaga times ten."

Binigyan ko lang siya ng isang ngisi sabay kibit ng aking balikat.

Umiling-iling si Franny at dinugtungan ang sinabi niya. "Ayaw mo ba ayusan kita?

Okay ka na riyan?"

Nakasuot ako ng simpling crop top shirt at pantalon lang. May nakasabit saakin na
sign board na may nakalagay na 'commitment'.
Marami naman talagang takot sa commitment.

I simply shook my head. Okay na ako sa ganito dahil hindi rin naman ako sobrang
invested pagdating sa mga parties. I heard that next year, we will be the ones to
organized the party since we are from the TVL track. Hindi ko lang alam kung saan
na subject pero magiging requirement 'yata ito kaya naman sinilip ko kung paano
nila ito ginagawa.

Kanina ko pa ginagala ang mga mata ko pero wala akong makita ni anino ni Adren.
Ngumuso ako dahil balak ko pa naman siyang asarin ngayong gabi.

I mean, what's a halloween party without the prince of darkness himself? Isang
ngiti pa lang niya, pamatay na!

Ngumiwi si Franny. "Bakit may naglalakad na kalabasa?"

Tinuro niya ang isang babae na naka-kalabasa na costume. Hardcore.

I saw Zafirah wearing an angel costume and honestly I find her really pretty.
Tiningnan ko tuloy ang mga costume ng mga kasama ko.

Franny was wearing a Supermario costume. Inayos niya ang cap niya at nagtaas ng
kilay. Suzette was Jessica Rabbit for tonight and Camisha was a white lady.

Suzy was able to dressed like that because she was wearing a different costume when
she went in. Hindi ko alam kung paano siya tatakas kapag may nakakita sa kanyang
teacher o SSG.

Hagikgikan lang ni Suzy at Camisha ang halos nagpapaingay ng paligid namin. Malayo
kami sa main stage kung kaya't hindi masyadong dinudumog ang lugar kung nasaan
kami. The flash of red and black lights were really blinding, kaya naman lumayo
kami.

Suzette sighed. "Akin ka na lang, Sarathiel."

Nakatanaw siya sa isang lalaki na simple lang din ang costume. Halos nga isa lang
ang props niya, meron lang siyang suot na horns. May kausap itong mga lalaki at
nagtatawanan sila. Infairness, gwapo nga pero mukhang masungit.

Humalakhak si Franny. "Magi sis! Matalino 'yan, baka madismaya siya sa'yo puro
kaharutan lang nasa utak mo."

Tumawa rin ako. "Akala ko ba kay Gio ka lang kakalampag?"

Ngumuso si Suzy. "Di naman namamansin 'yon e! Tamang ngiti ngiti lang, naka-ilang
wave na ako sa messenger, feeling ko nga makakagawa na ako ng dagat sa sobrang dami
ng wave na ginawa ko!"

She animatedly created a wave using her body. Her curves were in the right places.
Agad naman siyang lumayo sa akin at tumawa.

"Si Iscalade rin!" Hagikgik ni Camisha. "Crush ko si Iscalade."

Iscalade was a familiar name. Isa siguro sa mga social butterfly sa STEM dahil
madalas ko marinig ang pangalan. Hindi dahil sa masamang damo kung hindi dahil
marami siyang kakilala. Tatakbo 'yatang mayor.

Franny rolled his eyes. "Crush ka ba?"

Siniko ni Suzy si Fran. "Sus, Franny. Crush mo lang si Camisha kaya ayaw mong may
crush na iba e."

Umaktong nasusuka si Franny. "Kung kayo lang din, no thanks na lang."

"Wala pa crush ko." Bumuntong hininga ako at muling ginala ang aking paningin.

Nang hindi ko talaga siya mahagilap ay nag-tipa ako sa aking cellphone para
kamustahin siya.

I mean, I think we're close? Binigay ko kay Mama 'yung five thousand na binigay
niya sa akin at sabi ko na may dadalhan ako ng pagkain araw-araw magmula no'n.

Arrisea:

Hi! Halloween party ngayon, saan ka?

Napakagat ako ng ibabang labi ko. I don't know if he'll reply back. Pero sana naman
ay sumagot siya.

A few minutes later, my phone vibrated and I saw a reply from him.

Adren:

Why?

Hanimal talaga, Adren. Hindi ko mapigilan ang ngiti ko.

Arrisea:

Akala ko kasi nandito ka saktong-sakto ka para sa event.

Madali akong matakot sa'yo.
Madali akong matakot na baka mawala ka saakin. <3

Franny snatched my phone. Umawang ang labi ko dahil sa biglaan niyang pagkuha rito.
He was reading my text and he immediately rolled his eyes as he gave it back.

"Gabing-gabi na, umaariba pa rin ang kalandian mo babaita ka."

I stick my tongue out. Tiningnan ko na lang muli ang screen dahil baka nag-reply si
Adren.

Adren:

Enjoy the event, Arri. :)

Ngumuso naman ako dahil mukhang wala siya rito. This will be boring then. Gusto ko
lang naman siyang ma-solo ngayon.

Kinuha ni Suzette ang cellphone ko at binasa ang mga texts. Tawang-tawa si Suzy
habang nagtitipa ng reply. Agad naman ako umangal.

"Wala ba kayong cellphone? Bakit niyo ba inaagaw 'yung sa akin!"

Binalik ito ni Suzy na may ngisi sa labi. Binasa ko kaagad 'yung sinagot niya kay
Adren.

Arrisea:

Si Gio na lang lalandiin ko tutal wala ka naman.

"Baliw ka!"

Hinampas ko si Suzy na malakas ang tawa. Franny and Camisha joined in and my face
was flushed.

Pero ewan ko dahil gusto ko malaman reaksyon ni Adren. Medyo umakyat ang
antisipasyon sa puso ko. Normally, I'd hate someone for being possessive or
controlling — but it's different when it's him.

Nagitla ako nang tumunog ang cellphone ko. He replied back. Sinilip ko ang sagot
niya.

Adren:

Gio's not there.

Aren't you afraid you're flirting with a doppelganger? :)

Bigla akong kinilabutan. Kung hindi ko lang 'to crush, matagal ko na 'tong pina-
albularyo o kaya pinatawas. Baka may ligaw na kaluluwa kasi sa katawan niya e.

Arrisea:

Literal na tinatakot mo talaga ako. Sige, salamat na lang sa lahat.

Adren:

Do you want us to meet?

"Hanimal!" Tumalon-talon ako sa sobrang kilig at inalog-alog ko si Franny.

"Ano na naman ba 'yan! Tinamaan ka na riyan ah," saad ni Franny. I ignored him and
excitedly replied to Adren's text.

Arrisea:

It's a yes!

Adren:

Okay, see you in a bit.

Napatili ako nang wala sa oras. Kinurot ako ni Franny sa tagiliran. Napahawak tuloy
ako sa bibig ko kaya naging impit ang tunog nito.

"Arrisea! Sino ba 'yan? Gayuma lang pala katapat mo!" Halakhak ni Franny.

"Sa lahat ng naging lalaki mo, Arri. Ngayon ka lang naging ganyan. Delikado 'yan
sis, kapag ikaw 'yung mas hulog? Magi!" Umiling-iling si Suzy at pinag-krus pa ang
dalawang kamay.
"Sino ba 'yan?" Camisha chimed in. "Nabihag na naman ni Arri?"

"Babe ko." Bungisngis ko sa kanila.

I waited for him for at least thirty minutes while my friends already went on their
own ways since they all have other things to do. Naiwan ako sa Bonanza Area habang
nililigpit na halos lahat ng mga booths para sa halloween. It was funny how UJD
does these events for extra cash, kaya mahal tuition dito e.

Dumating naman si Adren at nakasuot ng high-end tailored suit, I know because it

looks fancy. Hindi ko tuloy maiwasan ang mag-laway sa kanya ngayon. He looks
expensively dressed.

"Sorry, did you wait for too long?" Pambungad niya sa akin. He looks concern.

"Di naman." I smiled at him and cupped his face. "Ang pogi mo ngayon, saan ka
galing?"

He looks surprised by my action but immediately smiled. Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko
na ginamit ko upang hawakan ang mukha niya para tanggalin. Arte talaga nito.

"Also a party."

"Gan'yan costume mo?"

Sumagot siya. "It's a formal party."

Lumabas na kami ng school at niyaya ko siyang kumain na lang sa labas. May

nagaabang na kotse at driver para sa'min. Medyo nahiya naman ako. During the trip,
he removed his suit. Tanging ang panloob na puting polo ang suot na lang n'ya.

"Where to?" tanong n'ya.

"Kahit saang fastfood na lang." I answered since I'm not really that hungry. Sulit
kaya ang red tea at nachos kanina na pinapamigay nila sa mga booths!

He shrugged."Army Navy?"

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Fastfood ba 'yon? Tunog barilan."

He nodded his head. I was up for an adventure so I didn't protest. Bago kasi sa
pandinig ko kaya gusto ko rin tikman.
We stopped at a resto where there's a sign that says Army Navy.

"Do you want to try their burritos or their burgers? Do you have anything in mind?"

Nanglalaki naman ang mga mata ko nang makita ang presyo ng mga pagkain kaya naman
umiling ako.

"Tubig lang, healthy living ako." Napakapit ako kay Adren.

Jusko, the menu was similar to UJD's and it made me crawl back to my inner frugal
self. Isang burger lang nila ay parang makakabili ka na ng isang bucket ng manok sa
isa pang fastfood chain na alam ko.

He leans towards me."What?"

"Bakit ang mahal? Akala ko naman 'yung thirty niners lang 'yung presyo!"

"Hindi naman ikaw 'yung magbabayad..."

My eyes widened at him. "Kahit na. Mahal masyado."

He sighed and shook his head.

"Arri, hindi naman masasayang 'yung pera kasi kakainin naman natin." Mahinahon
niyang sabi.

He's right so I just nodded at him. Umupo na lang ako nang taimtim at siya na lang
pinag-desisyon ko kung anong kakainin namin.

I waited for him at the table and I played on his phone while he was ordering.
Pinayagan naman niya ako na hiramin ang cellphone niya. I tried snooping around but
every application has a password. Salamat na lang, Adren.

Bumalik siya na na dala 'yung pagkain. The food was wrapped in aluminum foil and it
was neatly prepared. Dalawa ang ang inorder niya para sa'min.

"Ano 'tong isa?" tanong ko at tinuro 'yung parang pahaba.

"Burritos." Adren answered.

Binuksan ko 'yung isang mukhang burger. Well, it really was a burger.

"Hindi siya scam!" I said, upon noticing the burger was big just like in the
picture.

Adren looks at me and he was stifling a laugh.

Kumagat ako at para bang bumukas ang langit. It was so good! Hindi ko maiwasan ang
mapangiti. I really like food.

Totoo nga na hindi lugi sa presyo. Matapos kong maubos ang pagkain ay pinunasan ko
ang ilang mantika sa gilid ng labi ko.

"Happy Halloween! Baka maging busy ako sa Undas pero huwag mo ako papalitan sa
buhay mo ha!" I told him when I finished eating.

Adren was tapping his fingers on the table while looking outside the window.
Mukhang malalim ang iniisip.

I can't help but notice how everytime I see his face, it's almost devoid of
emotion. Parang ang hirap makakuha ng emosyon galing sa kanya. Sometimes, he even
have odd thoughts which makes me think that he really does have something to hide.

Napatingin kaming dalawa sa mga batang naka-costume na kakagaling lang niya sa pag-
trick or treat. Ang cute ng mga ito habang iniwan sila ng mga guardians nila na
pumunta sa may cashier.

“Hindi ko 'yan naranasan, mga madamot kasi 'yung tindahan sa bahay e. Kahit mentos,
ayaw mamigay.” I told Adren while wiping my hands with a tissue. “Ikaw? Nakapag-
trick or treat ka ba nung bata ka?”

“No and I'm glad I never did because I've watched a crime documentary before about
kids being banned from trick or treating because of a certain case,” he answered
nonchalantly.

“Crime documentary? Parang SOCO?” my eyes widened. “Nanonood ka ng mga gano'n?”

He slowly nodded his head.

"Arrisea, do you know the candyman?"

"Hindi e. Artista ba 'yan? Idol mo?" tanong ko.

"It's a true story, wanna hear it?" his eyes were void of emotion, it was dark but
I could see my reflection in it.
Napalunok ako ng sarili kong laway. Sasabak na naman ba ako sa mga riddles nitong
si Adren? In the end, I decided just to go with it.

"Sure."

"It happened on October 31, 1974. A man accompanied his children to trick-or-
treating." Panimula niya.

"They went to a house but the house didn't answer the call of the kids so the kids
went off except for the man who stayed behind. The man later went to his kids and
said that the house gave him five Pixy Stix. He gave it to his children and three
other kids."

I can't sit still so I leaned forward. Kumuha ako ng tissue at nilagay ang ilan sa
mga ito sa ilong ko at kunyari. Natigilan si Adren pero tumango lang ako sa kanya.

"Sige lang kahit dinudugo na ilong ko, mag-kwento ka lang."

He narrowed his eyes and laughs a little.

He continued."Before going to bed, his son wanted to eat some candy and choose the
Pixy Stix his dad gave him."

"He told his dad it tasted bitter and his dad helped him take away the taste of it.
Still, he started vomiting to the bathroom and his dad held him. His son died less
than an hour after."

I felt pity. "That's so tragic. Kawawa naman siya at 'yung anak niya."

He looks at me and continued the story. "The police concluded that it was the Pixy
Stix given by the house the man went to. So they searched for the remaining four,
the parents of the fifth child panicked when they can't find the Pixy Stix. They
found it on the hands of their child while he was asleep, it was unconsumed since
the fifth child had a hard time opening the candy."

His story is like horror movie. Nakakakilabot na may mga alam siyang storya na
ganito. Bakit ako puro mga vlogs lang na scripted ang alam ko? Kailangan ko na rin
ba mag-search ng mga ganito?

"Ano bang meron sa Pixy Stix?" I asked, curiously.

He shrugged his shoulders and looked at me intently.

"It was laced with a fatal dosed of potassium cyanide and the candy wrapper was
sealed with staples."
Tumango-tango naman ako dahil unti-unti ko nalalaman ang kwento niya. Someone put
poison on the kid's candy on halloween. Kumulo ang ulo ko dahil sa napagtantuan.

"Ang sama naman nung mga nagbigay no'n! Kung ayaw nilang mamigay ng candy, sana di
na lang sila nagbigay! They're so cruel!" Nanggagalaiti kong sabi.

His brows rosed. "Who said that the house owners were the ones who gave the candy?"

Natigilan ako at lumingon sa kanya. I can't see his expressions well. It was hard
to see his real intentions.

"W-what? Well, the man or the dad got the candy from the house who initially didn't
answer the kids right?"

He only smiled.

"Who said that the man wasn't lying?"

Umawang ang bibig ko at halos manginig ang kalamnan ko sa sinabi niya.

"Ibig sabihin..."

I don't even wanna know...

"He killed his own kid, Arri."

Ilang beses akong napakurap ang mga mata. "Bakit? What the..."

A parent would kill his own kid? Para saan? Hindi ko maintindihan. I can't see the
reason for it. Walang magulang ang makagagawa nang masama sa anak niya — sa sarili
niyang dugo at laman. That's what I know.

"You wanna know the reason?" he slouched on his chair, continously tapping on the
table while looking at his own slender fingers thumping on the hard surface.

"Bakit?"

"Money." Adren continued tapping on the table, his sight on his own fingers."He
applied insurance for his kids before that event. The police was able to see
through him but he still denied the accusation."
Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig sa sinabi niya. A father would do that to
his own child for money?

"What happened to him?"

"Lethal injection."

Medyo tumahimik ang paligid para sa'min. It felt cold all of the sudden. The
dryness of the air from the aircon from this burger joint can't be compared to the
coldness that the conversation gave us.

I decided to ask, para sa peace of mind ko.

"Gawa-gawa lang ba 'yan?"

Hindi ko masikmurang isipin na may magulang na papatay sa sarili niyang anak dahil
sa pera. Sobrang sama naman 'yon at parang hindi makatao. Murder isn't even humane
anymore, paano pa kaya kapag mismong anak mo na?

“I told you it's real...” mahinang sambit niya, hindi pa rin kasi ako makapaniwala.

"It's a true crime. I watched a documentary that tackled it," he says,

nonchalantly. Tiningnan niya ako sa aking mga mata.

There's this abyss of darkness in his eyes that slowly pulls you inside of it. I
cleared my throat as I also stared at with the same intensity.

"What will you do for money, Arri? Do you think money is more important than a
person's life?"

"Of course not," sumagot ako sa kanya at mariin na umiling-iling. "It's always life
over money. Ang pera ay napapalitan pero ang buhay? Hindi. Money is created by
humans but life is given to us by Him. Nababawi ang pera pero ang buhay..."

I found it hard to continue because of how he was looking at me.

His eyes softened and for the first time, I saw another fragment of him tha he
seems to hide from others.

"If you'll only stay with that kind of mindset, Arri. I think I'll like you," he
gently murmured. My heart felt like it was exploding. Namula naman ako sa sinabi
niya.

“Bakit naman? Lahat naman ng tao ay mas pipiliin ang buhay sa pera...”
“Not everyone,” he smiled, a hint of sadness in the way his lips spread the smile
on his face.

A flickered of sadness washed over me. Nakita ko kung paano lumutang ang
kalungkutan kay Adren. He looked so vulnerable even if he was just sitting infront
of me.

“This is the second time...” I told him as I realized something.

“Hmm?” he tried to feign innocence.

“Pangalawang beses na nag-kwento ka tungkol sa isang magulang at anak.” I paused

and look at him. “Your family is great, huh?”

The ghost of smile returned on his face. He nodded slowly.

“That's right,” his voice was laced with poisonous rage. “My family is great.”

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 13 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 13

"Hoy Ms. Intramurals!"

"Hindi!" Agad kong pinag-krus ang mga kamay ko. "Di niyo ako madidimonyo!"

Ginawa ko parang crucifix ang daliri ko habang pinapaalis ko sila.

Inalog-alog ako ni Franny. "Ako na nga bahala sa make-up saka sa mga gagamitin mo,
pumayag ka na!"

"Ayoko talaga!" Pagmamaktol ko.

"Ikaw din naman pipilitin ni Ma'am Santiago. Mukha mo kaya ang pambato ng TVL!"

Pinipilit nila akong lumaban para sa Ms. Intramurals. Una sa lahat, wala akong
pakialam doon. Pangalawa, wala talaga akong pake. Pangatlo at panghuli, hahanapin
ko muna ang pake ko.
Hindi na ito bago sa akin, kadalasan noong nasa junior highschool ay sinasali rin
ako sa mga ganitong school activities. Hindi naman ako nananalo dahil tulad nga ng
sinabi ko ay wala akong pakialam dito. It wasn't my passion.

Nakisali si Suzette. "Sasali raw si Adren."

Bumaling ako kay Suzy. "Kailan daw ba? Ano ba kayo? Sino bang nagsabi di ako
sasali?"

Humalakhak si Suzy. "Marupok ka talaga!"

"Ayaw niya raw pero biglang arat na kapag nandiyan si Adonis niya!" Pangangatyaw ni
Franny.

"Legit ba? Sasali si Adren?" Nararamdaman ko na kaagad ang mga paru-paru sa tiyan
ko, hindi sila mapakali.

"Sabi ng kalandian ko si Adren daw pinili sa ABM e." Kibit balikat ni Suzette.

"Dami mo namang kalandian!" Ani Franny.

"Huwag ka, sa lahat ng strand meron akong kalandian!" Tumawa si Suzette, 'yung tawa
pa naman niya parang isang witch na nakikiliti.

I decided to sign up for Ms. Intramurals when I confirmed that Adren was the
representative for ABM.

The day of Intramurals came and Franny was the one who applied make up on me. Suot
ko ang outfit na ginawa talaga para sa mga representative. It consists of a jersey
and violet mini skirt. Naka-space buns ang buhok ko.

"Hindi ka talaga pwedeng mag-make up kasi nagmumukha kaming basurahan, alam mo

'yon?" Sambit ni Suzy habang nakaawang ang bibig.

I only wear make up when there's occasions or if Arya wanted to try a new look
she's trying to practice.

Pumunta na kami sa main gymnasium at nakita ko ang iba't-ibang kulay na

nagrerepresenta ng iba't-ibang strand. Intramurals lang ito ng SHS department kaya
walang college o ibang grade level.

Nagulat ako nang may tumapik sa balikat ko. Tiningnan ko kung sino ito. It was a
guy who is smirking at me. May mga kasama siya na nasa likod niya.
"Hi pwede mangligaw?"

Pinilit ko ang sarili ko na hindi matawa. He was flaunting his strand. Pinapakita
niya pa na kulay red ang shirt niya na nagpapahiwatig na galing siya sa STEM.
Sorry, pero nasa ABM ang puso ko.

"Pwede naman." I smirked. "Hindi nga lang sa akin."

"Sayang naman. May boyfriend ka na ba? Ayaw mo ba akong subukan?" He was

persistent.

Sige lang, magmatigasan tayo rito.

I almost rolled my eyes but I fight back the urge to do so.

"May boyfriend na ako kahit di niya pa alam." Sagot ko at agad na ginala ang
paningin ko. I saw Adren talking to a girl.

He was sporting a jersey and the girl he was talking to was wearing a blue shirt.
Mukhang galing din sa ABM.

Naningkit kaagad ang mga mata ko. Instant badtrip.

"Wala naman 'yata e." Pangungulit niya pa.

“Bagay kaya tayo. Maganda ka tapos gwapo ako,” he was laughing with his friends.
“Taga-STEM pa ako.”

“Meron nga,” I insisted. “At anong bagay tayo? Tulog mo na lang 'yan, nananaginip
ka lang nang gising.”

“Arrisea naman!”

Hindi ko na ito pinansin dahil wala ako sa mood. Nang tawagin kami para umakyat sa
stage ay naging magkatabi pa kami ni Adren.

I looked at him but he was avoiding my direction. Ang tingin niya ay nakatuon
lamang sa partner niya. Jealousy crawled inside my heart. Sinilip ko ang mukha nung
babae na kasama niya, it was angelic and she looked soft compare to me. Hindi ko
mapigilan ang umirap.

Nilingkis ko ang braso ko sa kapartner ko. Kaklase ko naman ito kaya walang
problema. Top 1 pa nga namin ito.
"Bakit ang clingy mo 'yata ngayon?" Zyair smirked, upon noticing my behavior.

"Katabi ko lang crush ko, Contreras." Bulong ko habang may ngiti sa labi. "Send
help."

Tumango-tango naman siya dahil mukhang nakuha niya ang gusto ko iparating.

"Arrisea, ang ganda mo talaga." Nilagay pa ni Zyair ang ilang hibla ng buhok ko sa
gilid ng tenga ko.

Bumulong siya saakin. "Ang ganda mo itapon sa ilog."

Ngumiti ako nang pilit sa kanya at ngumisi lang siya sa akin. Zyair and I never
really went along. Kahit pa ilang beses kaming pinaghihinalaang may namamagitan ay
hindi namin naisip gawin itong totoo.

Zyair wasn't my type. Siya 'yung kapag babagsak na 'yung eroplano siya mismo 'yung
mag-aabot ng parachute sa'yo pero kapag tumalon ka na, bigla mo na lang malalaman
na backpack pala 'yung binigay niya. He's a sneaky bastard. A goodlooking one
though.

The program went on. Hanggang sa nagpakilala at rumampa kami. I did my best despite
of my mood.

"Hello, I'm Arrisea Cabrera, the representative of the track of Technical

Vocational Livelihood — Home Economics strand, " I gave them a flying kiss and the
crowd cheers.

Wala namang talent portion o kung ano dahil representatives lang kami. Hindi ko nga
alam na mananalo pa ako. Dinaan lang talaga sa ganda at saka 'yung iba ay parang
napilitan lang talaga lalo na 'yung pambato ng STEM na lalaki. I think if I recall
it's Sarathiel.

Habang nilalagay sa akin ang sash ay halos kumakabog ang dibdib ko. Adren was
beside me because he also won. I nudged him but he didn't even look at me.

Nainis ako kaya sinilip ko ang reaksyon niya. Nalaglag ang panga ko.

He wasn't smiling. His brows were furrowed while the Emcee was putting the sash on
him. He tried smiling but it failed. He can't even look at me.

I can't help but smile. I know assuming is bad. Pero badtrip ba siya dahil kay
Zyair? If yes, edi may silbi rin pala si Zyair sa buhay ko.
"Zyair!" Tinawag ko si Zyair na nasa gilid. "Thank you!"

Lumingon si Zyair at patago niyang pinakita saakin ang middle finger niya. Ang
suplado talaga kahit kailan.

"Alam mo, Adren. Kaklase ko si Zyair tapos shiniship kami ng mga kaklase namin."
Ngiting-ngiti ako. Kalahating totoo lang 'yon.

Hindi siya sumagot. Patuloy lang ako sa pagbulong.

"Pero ikaw ang gusto ko kaya kahit ilang Zyair pa hinarap nila sa akin, ikaw lang
crush ko." Bungisngis ko sa kanya.

Hindi pa rin siya kumikibo. Hala baka nagtampo? Di ko alam kung tatalon ba ako sa
tuwa dahil nagseselos siya o makakaramdam ng guilt.

I kept on nudging him. Pero hindi talaga niya akong pinapansin.

Nagtatampo 'yata 'to? I immediately felt guilty. Hindi naman talaga totoo 'yung kay
Zyair!

In a spur of a moment, I decided to coaxed him into staying with me.

"I love you...everyday." I whispered. "Masyado kasing mahaba ang forever kaya
everyday na lang muna."

His cheeks went red and he tilted his head to my direction. His lips were parted
and he kept on blinking.

Agad naman akong ngumisi. That's a reaction. Sinabi ko 'yon dahil totoong hindi ko
alam kung may forever ba talaga, pero habang may araw-araw ako ay sisiguraduhin ko
na bibigyan ko siya ng pagmamahal.

Inalis niya ang tingin sa akin at bumaba na matapos ang crowning ceremony. Sumunod
naman ako kaso mabilis siyang nawala sa paningin ko.

"Si Adren?" I asked Franny and Suzette who was waiting for me in our line.

"ABM 'yon, sis. Remember?" Kinurot ni Suzy ang aking pisngi.

"Akin si Zyair! Alam mo naman nung nag-introduce yourself tayo, kinantahan ko siya
ng unang araw pa lang minahal na kita!" Suzy pouted her lips.
I laughed.

Totoong ginawa niya 'yon. Kinantahan ba naman si Zyair ng classmate. Unang araw pa
lang tuloy ay ginawa na siyang katatawanan. Zyair only rolled his eyes at her
though, reaksyon niya madalas sa mga nagkakagusto sa kanya.

"Ang dami mong crush!" saway ko sa kanya.

"Oo kasi ang favorite type of exam ko ay multiply choice tapos palaging all of the
above 'yung sagot ko." Hagikgik ni Suzy.

Natanaw ko si Adren na kausap 'yung naka-ponytail na babae na halos palagi nilang

kasama ni Gio.

I saw Adren stealing glances at me so I winked at him. Agad siyang umalis nang
ginawa ko 'yon. Pikon 'yung babe ko.

“Kilala mo ba si Zafirah?” I asked Suzette since she's the most sociable in our
squad.

I was curious. Mamaya pala ay kaagaw ko 'yon kay Adren.

"Wait! Nakita ko na 'yung mukha niyan sa friendlist ni Gio." Ani Suzette.

Kinuha niya ang cellphone niya at pumunta sa Facebook para i-search kung sino 'yung
babae.

She showed me a profile. "Ito ba 'yon? Si Zafirah Sanchez?"

The girl was smiling widely on her profile picture and around her neck were
collection of medals. Maganda siya dahil na-emphasize ang mga mata niya dahil sa
mascara at eyeliner. She looks fierce though yet soft too.

Kumunot ang noo ko.

Si Zafirah nga.

Napakagaling mo naman, Adren. Sa dami ng mga pwedeng babae mo, sa achiever pa

talaga.

Hanimal lang.

"Kaya ko rin naman maging with honor! Half scholar nga ako e." I boasted. Tinawanan
lang ako ni Suzy.

That wasn't true though. Sa record ko pa lang sa Prefect of Disipline ay matagal na

akong ligwak sa scholar, pero dahil sa binabayaran ng Papa ko ang tuition ko ay
nagagawa ko pang manatili sa gintong paaralan na ito.

I might sound ungrateful and I might really be an ingrate but I don't want to
accept any form of help from him. The mere fact that he left us when we needed him
the most already makes me feel nothing for him. Balak ko ngang ibalik lahat ng
tulong niya sa'min kapag nagkatrabaho na ako.

Hindi ko kailangan ng ama kung ang tanging alam lang niya sa ina ko ay isang
babaing kaya niyang iwanan kahit binigyan niya ng anak. He is not worth it.

Nalingat ang atensyon ko kaya naman nawala sa paningin ko si Adonis. I pouted and
roamed around my vision to search for him.

Hinanap ko si Adren pero nawala na siya kaagad sa loob ng main gym. Tama nga si
Gio. Adren is almost not around entirely. Umakyat ako sa rooftop dahil baka
sakaling nandoon siya.

He wasn't there.

Bumaba ako at bumuntong hininga. Did I go too far? Gusto ko lang naman kasi malaman
kung kahit katiting ay may nararamdaman siya saakin.

It was already getting late. Tambay ako ngayon sa G Hall dahil wala akong balak
manood ng mga palaro. Although, manonood ako sa mga required ang attendance.

"Arrisea."

A cold voice called me and I immediately turned around to see who it was.

Namamala 'yata ang lalamunan ko dahil hirap itong maglabas ng mga salita.

The way Adren looks at me, it was as if a cat looking at a mouse. It's calculating
and cautious.

He looked really vulnerable. I knew he had a mask but everytime I get a little
closer to him, I can see it faltering. Unti-unting napipilas ang pilit niyang
tinatakpan na pagkatao niya.

"Arri." Tawag niya ulit.

"Hoy, joke lang naman 'yung kanina." I laughed, nervously. Mas gusto ko na
ngumingiti siya ngayon.

He cleared his throat. "What part of it was a joke?"

"Kay Zyair. The rest, totoo na lahat." I told him while looking at his eyes.

He slowly walks towards me. He leans and whispered.

"Naked truths."

"What?" Naguguluhan akong bumaling sa kanya.

"I'll tell you naked truths too," his tone was low and it was almost inaudible.

Sobrang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko. Parang gusto na tumalon ng puso ko sa halu-
halong emosyon.

"But..." He flinched then looks at me. I can't believe Adren was capable of looking
like this.

He looks fragile.

"Please don't leave me."

I laughed at him. "Hindi naman kita iiwan—"

"You promise?" his voice was low, it sounded vulnerable.

He looks like a lost child. The way his eyes were looking at me for answers.

Niyakap ko si Adren. He was surprised but then I felt his hands around my waist. He
was hugging me back.

His touch made me feel fragile, para bang ayaw niya talagang mawala ako.

I can only feel how scared he was of this moment.

"Naked truth." Niyakap niya ulit ako. Halos matunaw ako nang gawin niya 'yon.

He looks at me again.
"I don't know what love is, Arri." His eyes softens and I can hear his muffled
breathing.

“The mere idea of love will always be questionable to me...” he admits.

"Weh?" Napatakip ako ng bibig ko. "Seryoso ka? Huwag mo ako niloloko sabi ni Gio
nagkaroon ka na ng mga exes!"

"How would you know if you loved a person, Arri? I can't even remember how I felt
when I was with them."

Napalunok ako ng sarili kong laway. Hindi pa naman ako magaling sa mga love
advices. Pero para kay Adren, pipigain ko ang utak ko.

"Wala ka bang naramdaman para sa kanila?"

Umiling-iling siya. "All of them told me they loved me. That's it."

"Ginawa mo silang jowa kasi sinabihan ka ng I love you?" I asked, in disbelief.

Tumango siya.

"Edi ako rin gawin mong jowa kasi nag-I love you na ako sa'yo." Bulong ko habang
naka-busangot. Medyo frustrated.

"What?" he tilts his head. Umiling naman ako.

"Did you fall for them?"

"I can't feel anything. Not even concern for them. They were projecting their
ideals on me. They don't know me but they say they love me. I don't even know how."

"Bakit kasi palagi mong tinatago 'yung nararamdaman mo?"

"No one wants to know the naked truths, Arri."

"I do. So tell them to me." I pinched his cheeks so that the smile will fade. He
flinched when I did that.

"Anyway, may theory na ako bakit hindi mo pa alam ang love noon."
He furrowed his brows. "Why?"

Tumango-tango ako. "Hindi mo pa kasi ako nakikilala."

"Arrisea," he deadpanned. "I don't even know if you're taking me seriously."

"Seryoso ako sa'yo! Di ka na rin lugi ka saakin. Marunong ako magluto, maganda raw
ako, praktikal ako, kaya kita alagaan, at kayang-kaya kita mahalin!" I beamed at
him.

Bumuntong hininga siya. He gave me a small smile that tugs my heartstrings.

It was genuine. A genuine smile.

It made him more heavenly attractive. Mukha talaga siyang anghel. I wonder who
tainted his wings? Bakit may mga bagay siyang alam na masyadong kumplikadong
isipin?

"Arri, will you let me court you?"

My eyes widened. That was quick!

"Ulol! Sa tingin mo magpapaligaw pa ako?" I laughed at him.

His smile disappeared and he looked embarrassed. Agad ko naman itong binawi dahil
baka biglang umiba ang ihip ng hangin.

"Tayo na, baka magbago pa isip mo e." I smirked at him.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 14 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 14

"Arrisea, si Tatiana nga pala." Lulia introduced her cousin who was smiling at me.

"Hello po." She greeted timidly.

She was more fair than Lulia. Bagsak ang mahaba niyang buhok na itim na itim ang
kulay. Her features were kind of foreign. Kamukha niya si Snow White pero mahaba
lang ang buhok niya.
"She'll stay here for a while. Tatapusin niya kasi ang school year niya sa UJD bago
siya bumalik sa ibang bansa," ani Lulia.

Tumango naman ako at ngumiti pabalik kay Tatiana.

I was doing my job in their house every Saturday and Sunday. Lulia and I are
already close, kaya naman pinapakilala niya si Tatiana sa akin.

"Hi, Tatiana." Bati ko.

Nilapag ko ang hawak ko na tray bago ako umupo sa sofa para makapagusap kaming
tatlo. Naghain kasi ako ng meryenda para sa'min.

“Tito and Tita really welcomed me with warmth. Akala ko talaga ay magiging
malungkot po ako sa Pilipinas,” Tatiana says, timidly.

"Wala 'yon, Tati. Alam mo naman na anak na rin ang trato sa'yo nila Mommy at
Daddy." Lulia said, kumuha siya sa niluto kong mojos.

"Sa UJD ka rin pala, Tatiana." Ngiti ko kay Tati na agad na namula.

"Opo. ABM 2 din po ako tulad ni Ate Lulia." Namumula ang kanyang mga pisngi.

Ito ang pagkakaiba ng puti ni Lulia at Tatiana. Madali kasing mamula si Tatiana
dahil mestiza ang kanyang balat samantalang si Lulia ay maputi lamang dahil di
nagbibilad sa araw.

"Todo aral nga 'yan si Tatiana para mapunta sa ABM 1." Kwento ni Lulia sa gitna ng
pagkain ng mojos.

"Bakit?" tanong ko.

"Ate Lulia naman e," Tinakpan ni Tatiana ang kanyang mukha. "Nakakahiya po! Huwag
mo na po i-kwento."

"May crush siya roon." Kibit balikat ni Lulia.

Si Gio kaya? Sino pa ba ang kadalasan magustuhan sa ABM 1?

I asked. "Giorgion ba pangalan?"

Umiling-iling si Tatiana habang namumula pa rin. Nilagay niya pa ang isang hibla ng
buhok niya sa likod ng tenga niya.

"Pero kaibigan po kasi ni Kuya Gio, nakakahiya baka po kilala niyo." Umangat ang
tingin niya sa akin.

Gio's friendly, pero sino ba kadalasan kasami ni Gio? It's Zafirah and...

"Si Adren." Sagot ni Lulia. "Si Adren 'yung crush niya."

"Adren?" Ulit ko dahil baka mali lang ang rinig ko.

Tumango si Tatiana. "Opo, Adonis Renoir Reverio po."

Sumimsim ako sa tinimpla kong juice. Agad akong nag-iwas ng tingin.

Boyfriend ko 'yon, hanimal! Gusto ko manakit!

"Mabait po kasi 'yon. Ilang beses na po niya akong tinulungan." She told me as she
started fanning herself.

Ngumiti lang ako nang pilit. I used to date attractive boys before too, but I was
never this possessive. Gusto ko siyang ipagdamot. It wasn't a good feeling.

She showed me her lockscreen and it was a stolen picture of Adren. Tumatawa si
Adren at parang may kausap pero cropped ang picture at nakatuon lang ito kay
Adren.

"Ayan po siya, Ate Arrisea." Tatiana beamed at me, her cheeks are bright red.

Don't worry, I know him. Boyfriend ko nga 'yan e.

Pinilit ko ang sarili ko na huwag mag-salita at ngumisi na lang.

"Mukhang maraming pinagdadaanan sa buhay." I commented, out of spite.

"Mabait po 'yan. Tuwing meron nga pong tao na kailangan ng financial assistance,
siya mismo ang nagv-volunteer tumulong." Kwento ni Tatiana.

Alam ko, wala naman talagang kaso ang pera kay Adren. It was almost nothing to him.

"Adren's not really talkative though. Si Gio at 'yung Zafirah lang madalas kasama
niya." Lulia added.

"He's humble too. Kahit gaano siya kayaman ay hindi siya mayabang," puri ni Tatiana
kay Adren.

Tumango ako.

Adren might have dark thoughts in his head, pero hindi nga siya matapobre. It was
one of the things I admire from him.

“I heard he like girls who are nice and pure looking,” kibit balikat na ani Lulia.
“Sabi lang nila, parang si Philomena ng HUMSS 'yung parang gano'n.”

“That's why I'm trying my best to be like her po...” sambit ni Tatiana. “It's easy
to copy his taste for girls...”

Kumunot ang noo ko. Parang hindi naman gano'n ang gusto niya? Parang si Arrisea ng
TVL track ang gusto niya e.

“Ano pang alam niyo?” kuryoso kong tanong.

"He has two sisters, as far as I know. Sana nga po maging close ko sila." Hagikgik
ni Tatiana.

I didn't know that.

"Paano mo nalaman?" I asked, curiously.

"I used to go to parties hosted by Dayanara Reverio po. When I was young, my family
were invited to attend those parties."

"She met Adren there. Love at first sight daw." Lulia said, laughing.

"It was a masquerade and despite of how many other girls there.." She blushed. "He
asked me to dance with him."

She holds both of her cheeks as if she's trying to contain her giddiness.

Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko nang tumunog ang cellphone ko. A notification was on my
screen that says Adren is calling.

Agad ko itong tinago para di nila makita. It would be awkward.

"Saglit lang, sagutin ko lang 'to." Paalam ko at tumango naman sila.

Lumabas ako saglit para sagutin 'yung tawag ni Adren.

"Arrisea, you up for dinner?" Pambungad niya.

Sinilip ko ang orasan na nakasabit sa sala. It was already 5pm.

"Sure, bakit naman hindi?" sarkastikong sagot ko.

"Did I do something wrong?" his voice was laced with concern.

"Basta maguusap tayo!" I hang up. Sa sobrang inis ko ay padabog akong bumalik sa
sala kung nasaan si Lulia at Tatiana.

Tatiana looks concerned. "Ate? Okay ka lang po ba? Sinong kausap niyo po?"

Crush mo.

Pinigilan ko ang sarili kong sumagot. I felt bad because I'm acting out of
jealousy.

I texted Adren where we will meet. Medyo malayo rito para naman hindi nakakahiya
kay Tatiana na boyfriend ko pala 'yung crush niya.

It was already 7pm when a Ford Expedition stopped by. The car opened it's door for
me. Agad naman akong sumakay at nakita si Adren na nakatitig sa akin. May driver sa
harapan namin pero di ko nagawang pansinin dahil sa inis.

"Why are you mad?" Adren touches my hair. Agad akong umiwas at humalukipkip.

Tatiana mo, mukha mo.

Hindi ko siya pinapansin. Adren noticed how sour my mood is. Inabutan ako ng isang
glass jar. It has candies inside it.

Binasa ko naman ang nakalagay rito. Cavendish & Harvey was the brand. Hanimal 'to,
hanggang mentos lang ang alam ko!

Kumuha naman ako ng isa at binalik sa kanya 'yung glass jar. It tasted good. When
the candy already melted on my mouth. I wanted more.
"Pahingi pa." I pouted and Adren laughs.

"Can we talk already? Hindi bagay sa'yo tahimik."

Tumingin ako kay Adren. He was looking at me attentively. Bumuntong hininga naman
ako.

"May kilala ka bang Tatiana?" I asked and he frowned.

"I don't remember anyone with that name." He answered, truthfully.

"Sabi niya niyaya mo siya sumayaw nung may party!" Pangaakusa ko sa kanya.

"It's for formality, Arrisea. It's probably one of the daughters of an employee? I
don't dance with the girls from Dayanara's circle. I don't want to be associated
with them." He scoffed.

"Dayanara? Mama mo? Dayanara lang tawag mo?"

Subukan ko kayang tawagin si Mama ng Arra lang. Siguro nasa labas na mga gamit ko
kinabukasan.

"She's...not my mom." Umiwas ng tingin si Adren. He uncomfortably shifted from his

seat.

Kumunot naman ang noo ko. Pakiramdam ko talaga may problema siya sa pamilya niya.

I was about to bombard him with questions when someone texted me. Tiningnan ko kung
sino ito.

Gio:

I love you.

Anong kinain nito?!

Mumurahin ko na siya nang purong-puro pero may kasunod pa siyang text.

Gio:

Yuck!
Kay mama 'yan!

Wrong send lang!

Gio:

Yuck talaga. Kadiri. Pakiramdam ko binaboy ko sarili ko.

Natawa na lang ako at nagtipa ng isasagot kay Gio.

Arrisea:

siGe aNaK, suGaR MoMmY mO 'To.

"Who's that?" Sumilip si Adren sa cellphone ko. Pinakita ko naman.

"Si Gio, na-wrong send ng I love you." Halakhak ko.

Adren also chuckled. "He also sent me one."

"Pahiram ako cellphone mo."

Inabot ni Adren ang cellphone niya at inabot sa akin. When the screen opened, my
face was on his screen. It was me smiling widely on the rooftop.

Napakagat ako ng ibabang labi ko para pigilan ang tili ko.

Pakialam ko ba kung gagawin nilang lockscreen si Adren? Ako lang naman lockscreen
ni Adren!

I texted Gio using Adren's phone. Gio also texted 'I love you' to Adren. Bakit
kaya?

Adren:

Wow, lahat pala kami may I love you.

giO mApAgMaHaL.
We both laughed at Gio's text.

“Sorry, nagselos lang ako kanina.” I told him after we stopped laughing. “Hindi ko
pa kasi alam kung seryoso ka ba sa akin o laro lang 'to para sa'yo. Attitude ka pa
naman.”

“I think that's a normal reaction,” he says. “Being jealous isn't always

negative...”

“Para sa akin kasi ay hindi. Wala namang rason para magselos ako,” sagot ko sa
kanya at nagtaas ako ng kilay. “Alam ko naman na mas maganda ako kaya bakit ako
magseselos?”

He only laughed at me. Biglang gumuhit ang isang ngiti sa aking labi. I really love
seeing genuine emotions out of him. It makes him more humane.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 15 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 15

"Patikim naman ako, Zyair."

Nakatingin lang kami kay Suzy na malanding nakatitig kay Zyair na inaayos ang toque
blanche nito sa ulo.

Agad kaming ngumiwi ni Franny sa sinabi ng kaibigan namin. Ang mga mata namin ay
napunta kay Zyair na seryosong nakikinig sa harapan.

Wala namang niluluto si Zyair! May lecture lang kami sa klase ni Sir Gomez. Ang
harot ni Suzy umaabot hanggang dito sa laboratory!

Tinaas ni Franny 'yung sleeves ng chef's jacket niya. "Pigilan mo ako, makakasakit
na ako ng kaibigan!"

Ngumisi ako. "Go lang sis, deserve naman niya."

Paulit-ulit lang na nagpapapansin si Suzy kay Zyair.

Hindi siya pinapansin ni Zyair pero naririnig ko ang mahihina nitong mga mura.
Nakakunot ang noo nito. Mailap talaga sa mga babae.

Franny sighed. "Gwapo rin kasi 'tong si Zyair lalo na kapag suot 'yung chef's
jacket natin."

I nodded to agree.

Sa TVL, Home Economics strand na cookery ay meron kaming isa pang uniform. It
consists of a black chef jacket, black pants, and toque blanche. Syempre may
hairnet kami na suot dahil ginagamit lang namin ang toque blanche kapag ginagamit
ang kitchen.

Hindi kami nagtagal sa kitchen dahil nagkaroon lang kami ng lecture dito. This
semester, focus kami sa food and beverage services o FBS. Sa tingin ko, mas
makakapag-luto ako sa susunod na taon. We had bread and pastry last semester so the
cooking will be probably next year.

"Magpapalit na ako." Paalam ko kay Franny, tumango naman siya.

Matapos ko makuha ang uniform ko sa locker, sa TVL comfort room ako nagpalit. Pwede
rin naman kami sa swimming area mag-palit kaso tinatamad na ako dumayo pa roon.
Babalik na ako sa room nang makita ko si Adren at Zafirah na naglalakad sa baba.

Sumilip ako at sumandal sa railings. Sumigaw ako.

"Adren! Pwede ka ba maging sugar daddy? Kung hindi, kahit daddy na lang! Rawr!"

Awtomakitong napalingon silang dalawa sa akin. Zafirah looks shock while Adren
arched an eyebrow at me.

Umalis din ako kaagad matapos ko 'yon gawin. A satisfied grin on my face as I walk
my way on my class.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

After class, I waited for Adren in the corner of their building.

Sa ibang schools, nasa iisang building lang ang mga nasa SHS department. Iba't
ibang floor lang kada strand. Pero sa UJD kasi masyadong magara, kaya iba't ibang
building kami para naman worth it ang fifty pesos na bottled water nila.

Nagitla ako nang may pamilyar na babaing sumulpot sa gilid ko.

"Ate Arrisea." Tatiana looks at me with her doe eyes.

She looks more angelic in her uniform. Bumagay sa kanya ang uniform namin, it made
her look more child like and innocent.
"Tati! Bakit ka nandito?"

"ABM building po ito, Ate Arrisea."

I laughed awkwardly. "Oo nga pala."

"Ikaw po?"

"Uh, may hinihintay lang ako." My gaze shifted into somewhere else.

"Sino po?" she kept on prying. "Baka po kakilala ko po."

"Arrisea!"

Gio waved his hand enthusiasticly. Medyo natigilan siya nang makita si Tatiana pero
agad naman siyang ngumiti rito. He walks towards us.

"Nandiyan ka na pala! I was waiting for you!" I faked my tone of happiness.

Gio beamed. "May shanghai ka na dala?"

Napawi ang ngiti sa aking labi.

Mukha ba akong shanghai?!

"Uh, wala pero hinintay kita!"

Kumunot ang noo ni Gio.

"Bakit?"

On cue, Adren followed Gio's lead. Nakasunod pala siya rito at kanina pa siya
nakatitig saakin. His eyebrows were furrowed.

"Kuya Adren," namula kaagad si Tatiana. Agad siyang nagtago sa likod ko.

Napapikit ako nang mariin. Tatiana doesn't know, wala siyang pananagutan sa mga
kilos niya ngayon. Of course, if she knew I was Adren's girlfriend she'll probably
not act like this.
"Pardon?" lumingon sa kanya si Adren.

"Ako po si Tati..." Tatiana trailed off. Hindi matanggal ang tingin niya kay Adren.
She bit her lower lip and hide from his sight.

"Si Tatiana nga pala, Adren." I was the one who continued what Tatiana is about to
say.

Recognition registered in Adren's face. He nodded his head slowly as he gaze at me,
medyo may yupi sa kanyang noo.

"So you're Tatiana?"

"Hello po." Tatiana blushed when Adren noticed her.

Adren extended his hand to her. Tati's hand was trembling as she reach for his
hand.

"Nice to meet you." Adren smiled, his usual fake smile.

Tatiana was too busy gawking at Adren. She looks like she was on cloud nine.

Adren craned his head to my direction."May groupings pa kami, babe."

Nanglaki ang mga mata ko. I heard Tatiana gasped and Gio's jaw dropped.

Hanimal ka, Adren.

Napasapo ako sa sentido ko nang wala sa oras. Hindi ko alam paano haharapin si
Tatiana.

Gio's eyes almost bulge out. "Babe? What? Kailan pa? Ano 'to? Parang di niyo naman
ako kaibigan!"

"Bye, I'll text you." Adren even gently kissed my cheek before going. Hindi man
lang natakot na baka ma-POD kami!

Gio turned to me to ask. "Kayo na talaga?"

I hesitated at first but eventually nodded my head.

"Congrats!" Gio smiled brightly then furrowed his eyebrows. "Nauto mo 'yon?
Pumayag? Di na nakapalag?"

Gio was least of my problem, bumaling ako kay Tatiana para humingi sana ng tawad
dahil hindi ko nasabi kaagad.

She was just looking at me. Namula ang pisngi niya at medyo nangingilid ang luha sa
kanyang mga mata.

"Ate Arrisea..." Her voice croaked. "Kayo po ba ni Kuya Adren?"

I gulped before answering. "Actually, we just started dating."

Tumango-tango si Tatiana na may malungkot na ngiti sa labi.

"Bagay po kayo, Ate." Her lips primed. "Maswerte ka po sa kanya."

"Tatiana..." I didn't know what to say.

It was so awkward. Wala naman akong ginawang mali. Una ko naman talagang nilandi si
Adren.

I didn't want to be insensitive. Pero hindi ko mahanap ang mga salitang dapat
sabihin para sa kanya.

"Hoy Cabrera." Zyair was walking towards our direction.

He sighed. "Nakakasawa man mukha mo, pero kagrupo kita sa Practical Research."

Nanglaki ang mga mata ko. "Gagawa tayo ngayon?"

"Hindi, papabayaan lang natin 'yung research paper natin maghanap ng sarili niyang
RRL." Sarkastikong sabi niya.

"Umuwi na mga kagrupo natin!"

Nagkibit balikat si Zyair. "Edi walang gagawa. Pauwiin na lang din natin research
paper natin."

"Kailan ba pasahan niyan?"

"Bukas."
Bukas pa naman pala, meron pa kaming oras mamaya para gumawa. Kaya naman siguro
naming dalawa ni Zyair.

Pumayag ako na gawin namin ang paghahanap ng RRL para sa research paper namin. I
had to say goodbye to Gio and Tatiana, who both looked dumbfounded. Pumunta kami ni
Zyair sa Main Lib.

Pumunta kami sa section ng library kung saan mahahanap ang mga thesis na ginawa ng
mga former students dito.

"May ipapagawa ka ba sa iba nating kagrupo?" tanong ko para masabi ko sa GC namin

kung meron man.

"Depende." Kibit balikat niya.

"Paanong depende?"

"Depende kung may pake sila. Let them volunteer, Arrisea."

Nagtaas ako ng kilay. "Paano kung di sila tumulong? O wala silang balak tumulong?
Okay lang sa'yo? Leader ka e."

Ako kasi nahihiya. Alam ko naman na mali 'yung pang-1-2-3 ng mga kaklase ko kay
Zyair. Kahit naman ganito ako, may kwenta naman akong kagrupo.

"Let them. Sino bang mahihirapan pagdating sa college kapag sila na lang gagawa?
Kung hindi man sila mag-kokolehiyo, what about grade 12? For sure, they'll go
nuts." He chuckled.

“Pero...”

He grinned at me. "Matanda na tayo, Arrisea. We know our responsibilities. I don't

wanna force anyone to do something they don't like."

May point naman siya. Kung gusto nga nilang tumulong edi sana nagtanong sila kay
Zyair pero mukhang umaasa lang sila rito. Zyair doesn't mind though.

"Bakit ba kasi kailangan ng maraming RRL? At saka bakit sa mga thesis tayo
naghahanap?" I asked Zyair while he was putting thesis books on my hands.

Bumaling sa akin si Zyair. "Do you remember what research is?"

"Research is searching again," saad ko. "Naks, nakikinig ako."

Zyair wrinkled his nose. "Well yeah, fair point. Research is actually done to
answer queries or in layman's term questions. Hindi ba mas magandang sagutin ang
isang tanong kapag may basis ka?"

He continued. "That's why we need RRLs to find prior knowledge, relevance,

supporting studies, contradicting studies and more. It is simply reviewing other
studies related to the one you're trying to research on."

If someone would say the TVL strand are for those who don't excel academically,
I'll introduce them to Zyair. He's good with both academic and to our specialized
subjects that are actually considered to be more on technical skills.

"Magaling ka pala talaga 'no? Bakit nag-TVL ka? Edi sana mas maraming nakaka-
appreciate sa utak mo."

I know that the TVL strand is being frowned upon by some people. Akala mo naman
talaga hindi kami kumukuha ng core subjects tulad ng ibang strand. It's unfair how
people say we're all just skills.

He shrugged. "I like cooking. Since I was kid, always wanted to be a chef."

Tumango ako. "Naks! Pareho pala tayo. Pero gusto ko rin magkaroon ng business o
kaya maging investor sa isang business."

Zyair murmured. "It's actually annoying how people would only associate cooking
with women."

“Kaya nga e, nakakainis din na may mga trabaho na tinitingnan ang kasarian bilang
basis kung qualified ka sa trabaho o hindi.”

It's tiring to prove yourself to a world where everything has a system you cannot
break. Kapag sinubukan mo itong baguhin, people would think you're looking for
trouble. When in fact, matagal na talagang bulok ang sistemang pinaniniwalaan nila.

He gave a small smile. "Thanks for not prying on that issue."

Ngumiti ako pabalik. Zyair, if he's not on his period, is actually quiet nice.

A flashed of light made us look into a direction. It was as if someone took a

picture and forgot that the flash was on.

I grimaced. "Artista ka ba? Bakit may paparazzi?"

He rolled his eyes skyward. "Thanks for complimenting my looks, pero hindi ako
artista."

Did one of his fangirls took a picture of us? Nakakairita.

Matapos kami makalikom ng mga RRLs ay pinayagan na ako ni Zyair mauna. Siya na raw
magaasikaso ng paraphrasing. I insisted to do some but he told me unless I have a
laptop, it would just be a hassle.

Nakita ko si Adren sa Bonanza Area habang kausap si Tatiana. Tatiana was glowing
with joy while talking to Adren. Para bang hindi niya nalaman na boyfriend ko ito.

"Hinintay mo ako? Sweet mo naman," sarkastikong bungad ko sa dalawa nang makarating

ako sa harap nila.

Adren lips twisted into a grin before placing his head on my shoulder.

"Let's go?" Malambing na tanong niya.

"Saan na naman?"

"Kakain lang sa labas. Saan mo gusto?"

"Kahit saan. I-uwi mo ako bago mag alas siyete para may kasama si Archer sa bahay."

Tatiana cleared her throat so our eyes went to her. She was beaming at us.

"Pwede po sumama?"

Tumingin sa akin si Adren. It was as if he was giving me the choice to answer the
question. Agad ko naman siyang pinanglakihan ng mga mata.

"Arrisea, pwede raw ba sumama?" Adren asked, supressing his laugh.

"Sige. Uh, sure." I awkwardly agreed. Pambawi na lang dahil medyo napahiya nga siya
kanina.

Tatiana's eyelashes fluttered happily. "Thank you, Ate Arrisea! Kuya Adren, tara na
po."

Para tuloy kaming ewan habang kumakain sa isang malapit na Pancake House. Tatiana
was eagerly talking with Adren who kept on nodding his head and listening to her.
Kahit tuloy mahal 'yung pagkain ay hindi ko magawang masikmura. Halos magutay-gutay
na 'yung pancake sa sobrang inis ko. I can't hear what they're talking about
because my feelings are clouding my judgements.

Napigtas ang natitirang pasensya ko nang tumawa si Adren kay Tatiana. The nerve!

"Restroom lang ako." I said but the two of them were too focused on each other.

Gumapang ang paninibugho sa dibdib ko. I clenched my fists. Fine! Ayaw niyo ako
pansinin? Kayo na lang mag-date!

Marahas kong tinabig ang lamesa para umalis. Pumunta ako ng restroom para kumalma.
I look infront of the mirror and fix my look. Tatiana isn't to blame, she's nice
and innocent.

Matapos ko maghugas ng mukha at kamay ay lumabas na rin ako. Nagitla ako nang may
naghihintay sa akin sa labas.

“What?” I asked, annoyed.

“Hinahanap ka ni Tatiana.”

“Huwag na, kumain na lang kayo nang kumain. Nakalimutan niyo na nga 'yatang kasama
niyo ako e. Tawa pa kayo nang tawa...”

He shrugged. “I didn't react that way when you were smiling at Zyair.”

“Ano?” hindi ko mapigilan ang mapataas ng kilay. He showed me a picture and my lips
parted.

It was a recent picture of me and Zyair talking. Kanina lang ito, ah?

“I already paid the bill and called a cab for her. May gusto ka pa bang puntahan?
We can ditch her.”

Who took that picture? Hindi ko mapigilan ang kilabot na naramdaman ko.

“Don't trust easily, Arri. Remember that there can be a wolf in sheep's clothing.”
Adren says, smiling.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜
 Kabanata 16 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 16

I decided to distance myself with Tatiana. Hindi ako mapalagay na baka nga hindi
siya tulad ng tingin ko sa kanya. I didn't want her to affect my friendship with
Lulia. Kaya ako na lang ang umiiwas.

Malapit na ang pasko at christmas break. Adren's lingering stare is annoying me.
Nang hindi ko na matiis ang titig niya sa akin ay nilingon ko na siya.

"Bakit?" tanong ko.

Nasa student lounge kami ngayon. He's waiting for the revisions of their research
paper, he volunteered to wait for it since his groupmates have other things to do.

"What do you want for a gift?"

Ngumiti ako nang matamis."You're already the greatest gift for me this year."

Adren scoffed. "You're only saying that because you don't want to spend money on
gifting me back."

Tumawa naman ako, medyo guilty sa kanyang paratang. Hindi ko rin naman kasi alam
ang hilig niya bukod sa luto ko at sa luto ni Mama. We have a routine of sharing
food during break times, it was our bonding moment.

"Be practical, kahit ano lang sa akin." I pinched his nose and he winced.

I think in a month, Adren seems to show some improvements in his expressions and
emotions. Alam ko na hindi naman ako psychologist, but I wanted to be his support
system. I wanted to be someone he can be open to freely.

Hindi pa rin naman siya sobrang open sa akin, pero kahit naman papaano ay alam kong
hindi niya rin akong ginagawang laro. We're dating exclusively but we don't let a
lot of people know. Ayoko lang kasi na masyado siyang pagkaisahan dahil ako ang
naging girlfriend niya.

"Gusto ka pala makilala ni Mama. Kung may oras ka daan ka sa bahay sa Noche Buena,"
saad ko nang maalala na tinatanong ni Mama kung sino 'yung naghahatid sa akin.

Muntik na nga niya ako palayasin dahil akala niya may ginagawa akong illegal. Ayaw
pang maniwalang boyfriend ko.
He looks at me with wavering eyes. He licked his lower lip and he ran his fingers
through his hair.

"Naked truth?" His eyes blinked infrequently. "I don't have a... mother figure."

“I don't know if your mother would like me...” he nervously admitted.

My mouth turned into an 'o'. "Stepmother mo lang ba si Dayanara?"

He nodded. "Uh, yeah..she's not...my biological Mom..."

I could see the conflicted look on his face. He was contemplating whether to tell
me or not. Hinawakan ko siya sa kamay, I gently squeezed it.

"It's okay," I assured him. "You don't have to tell me if it's hard for you.
Naiintindihan ko, take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

Alam ko naman na may mga pangyayari sa buhay natin na kung sana ay pwede lang
burahin ay matagal nang burado sa memorya ng mundo. Life isn't like that though,
you have to learn to live with it.

The good and bad memories are still part of your life story. You don't really skip
it, you have to go through the bad chapters to appreciate the good ones.

"I love you everyday. It means I love you in your good days and I'll still love you
in your bad days." Hinilig ko ang ulo ko sa balikat niya.

He kissed the top of my head. Umangat ang tingin ko sa kanya at nginitian ko siya.

"Hoy pokers ka, nandito ka pa pala!"

Suzette along with Franny came. Humalukipkip si Franny at nakapameywang si Suzy.

Pumagitna saamin si Suzy. "May syota na ako! College! Level up!"

She turned to Adren and wiggled her eyebrows. "Okay lang naman sa'yo 'di ba?
Nandito kami?"

Adren kept his smile. "Yeah, I don't mind."

Tumabi si Franny kay Adren at tumikhim gamit ng baritonong boses. "'Tol, kamusta ka
naman 'tol?"
"I'm good, thank you?" Adren was trying to be polite. Hindi 'yata alam na kinikilig
si Franny sa kanya.

Habang hinihintay namin ang research paper ng grupo ni Adren. Kinukulit ako ni
Franny at Suzette tungkol kay Adren, who was only smiling at them.

"By the way, Zyair and Arrisea is never gonna happen. AdSea lang sapat na!" Suzy
shouted and stood up while raising her fist.

Agad ko siyang pinaupo nang tumingin ang natitirang estudyante sa kanya.

"Zyair?"Adren looks annoyed even though he was half smiling.

Zyair and I only interact for Practical Research. Kaya naman lubusan na lang ang
pagtataka ko kung bakit may picture kaming dalawa.

Adren never told me who gave him that picture, pero isa lang ang taong nasa utak ko
na gagawa no'n. I'm just hoping that it's not really her. Sana lang talaga.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"Ate Arrisea, ano sa tingin mo ang gusto ni Kuya Adren na regalo?"

Isang araw ay pumunta si Tatiana sa classroom namin sa oras ng break time. Papunta
pa lang sana ako sa rooftop nang harangin niya ako sa may pintuan.

Malaki ang ngiti niya sa labi. Her doe eyes are twinkling.

Napalunok ako ng sarili kong laway dahil hindi ko alam paano ako makakalusot sa
kanya. I didn't want to offend her, I might act like a bitch but only for those who
deserve it. Wala pa naman siyang maling nagagawa saakin.

"Uh? Hindi ko rin alam e." I answered truthfully. Tulad niya ay hirap din ako
maghanap ng regalo para kay Adren.

"Sige na, Ate..." pagpupumilit niya. "Alam ko naman na mas kilala mo siya saakin."

"Arri, himala nandito ka pa?" Ani Suzette nang maabutan kaming dalawa ni Tati sa
may pintuan.

Alam niya kasing umaalis ako tuwing break time para sabay kami kumain ni Adren. I
signal to Suzy to help me.
"Ano ba meron?" Sinilip ni Suzy kung sino ang kausap ko. Tati smiled at her.

"Hello po." Bati ni Tati kay Suzy.

Kumunot ang noo ni Suzy sa kanya. "Hello? Ano ba 'yon?"

"May tinatanong lang po ako kay Ate Arrisea."

"Ako na lang tanungin mo!" Boluntaryo ni Suzette sabay hatak saakin palabas ng
classroom para makatakas ako.

"Ano ba tanong mo? Best position? Best time? Paano mo siya mapapaun—"

Hinila ko nang mahina ang buhok ni Suzy. Ang laswa talaga ng bibig nito kahit
kailan!

"Bata pa 'yan! She's a year younger."

Naalala ko ang kwentuhan namin nila Lulia. Maaga kasi nagaral itong si Tatiana at
sa ibang bansa pa kaya naman sobrang batang-bata talaga ng dating niya. Her
youthful look also adds an effect on it.

"Ate, saan ka ba pupunta? Pupunta ka ba kay Kuya Adren, sama po ako. Wala siya sa
classroom nila e."

"Ako na nga lang! Ayaw mo ba saakin? Magtatampo na ako." Suzy pouted, inilingkis
niya ang kamay niya sa braso ni Tati.

Tati blushed. "Hindi naman po sa ganun."

"Tara! Tayo na lang magkwentuhan! Mas may experience ako kay Arri."

Kumindat sa akin si Suzy at agad naman akong nag-flying kiss sa kanya sabay karipas
ng takbo papunta sa rooftop. Hinihingal tuloy ako pagkarating ko rito.

"Bakit ka tumatakbo?" tanong ni Adren at kinuha ang panyo niya. He started wiping
the beads of sweat on my face.

"Baka kasi gutom ka na, may kumausap pa kasi sa akin." I look up as I gasp for air.
I can feel him wiping sweat on my neck.

He chuckled."Arri, by the way. Look at this."

May pinakita siya saakin isang catalogue, it was for real estate.

"Lilipat kayo ng bahay?" tanong ko sa kanya.

Umiling siya. "I was going to ask you if what kind of house and lot would you like
as a gift?"

Ha? Hanimal.

Ilang beses pa akong napakurap bago siya hinampas sa ulo. Adren winced at me and
looks at me with scorn. Pero naalala niya 'yatang mahal niya ako kaya ngumuso na
lang siya.

"What was that for?"

I look at him with disbelief. "Bakit mo ako tinatanong ng house and lot?! Para
saan?!"

"Gift for you? Sabi ni Gio—"

Minasahe ko kaagad ang sentido ko bago bumaling sa kanya.

"Alam mo namang walang matinong lumalabas sa bibig ni Gio!"

He furrowed his eyebrows. "What about bigas?"

"Bigas? Bigwasan kaya kita!"

Sino ba nagbibigay sa kanya ng mga ideya na ganito? Ang sabi ko be practical, di ko

naman sinabing ganito ka-praktikal! Kulang na lang mag-alok siya pati ng gasul!

"What would you like then?" seryoso niyang tanong.

Tumingin ako sa kanya nang diretso sa mga mata. Adren looks at me with curiosity,
like of a child.

"Pwede bang pumunta ka na lang sa Noche Buena sa bahay namin? Kahit dumaan ka lang
sa'min, gift mo na 'yon. Masaya na ako na mapapakilala kita kay Mama."

He stiffened and stared at me. He pursed his lips as he looks downwards.

"What if she doesn't like me?"

Nanglaki ang mga mata ko at natawa ako sa kanya.

"Sus di 'yan, ako nga hinihintay ko na lang 'yung mago-offer saakin ng milyones
para hiwalayan ka."

Umiling siya at may ngiting gumuhit sa labi. "You watch too many dramas."

"Ang tagal nga e. Ready na mga lines ko kung sakali," inayos ko ang pagkakaupo ko.

"They won't do that, they don't care enough..." he pressed his lips together.
"They're not...just..."

Adren rested his head on my shoulder and he let out a sigh."I don't want them to
taint you."

I was only curious at first but the rapid beating of my heart is telling me this is
not mere curiosity anymore.

"I wanna meet them."

Adren's jaw tightened, umangat ang tingin niya sa'kin.

"I told you, even the bad parts..." I trace his cheeks. "I'll love even the bad
parts of you."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"Arrisea, are you sure about this?"

Hagalpak ang tawa ko habang natataranta si Adren. He looks cute while pacing back
and forth. Nasa tapat naman na siya ng bahay namin.

"Ngayon ka pa aatras nandiyan na sila." Tinuro ko si Mama, Arya at Archer na kanina

pa nakatingin kay Adren.

Arya was holding back her laughter. Si Mama naman ay nakangiti lang habang si
Archer ay humahagikgik sa bisita namin.

Adren smiled awkwardly, he lost his composure for the first time. Sa harap pa ng
pamilya ko.
"Hello po."

"Pasok ka, anak!" Maligayang anyaya ni Mama habang halos buhatin na si Adren
papasok ng bahay.

"First time mo may ipakilala kay Mama. Seryoso ka sa kanya, Ate?"

Arya knows about my flings before. Ilang beses na nga niya akong pinagalitan dahil
hindi naman daw laruan ang feelings ng isang tao. She has always been more matured.

Pagkapasok namin ay nakaupo na si Adren sa hapagkainan at ang dami na kaagad laman

ng plato niya. Si Mama ay tuwang-tuwa na naglalagay ng kung anu-anong putahe sa
harap ni Adren.

Habang nasa hapagkainan, pinagkaisahan ako ni Arya at Mama dahil pinagsasabi nila
kay Adren ang mga nilimot ko na nakaraan.

"Si Ate Arrisea may mga pictures noon na may pulbos sa mukha." Halakhak ni Arya.
"Nagsusuot din siya ng never give up shirt tapos hello kitty na salamin."

Napahilamos ako sa sarili kong mukha sa sobrang kahihiyan. Pasalamat si Arya hindi
siya umabot na uso pa ang filter ng camera360! Nakakahiya talaga!

"May picture ako na mahaba ang buhok ni Arrisea." May kinuha si Mama na picture
album at bumalik sa tabi ni Adren.

"2nd year highschool 'yata si Arrisea diyan. Bago siya nagpagupit ay kinuhanan
namin siya ng litrato."

I sold my hair to a parlor during grade 8 so that I could buy Arya the cosmetics
she needed for her passion. Sapat lang kasi ang kinikita ni Mama para pambayad ng
mga gastusin sa bahay.

If I had a job, mas magkakaroon ng pahinga si Mama at mababantayan na niya nang

maayos si Archer.

Adren was examining the picture. Tumingin siya sa akin at pilyong ngumiti. Bumaling
siya kay mama para magtanong.

"Did you use to work for Alfred Reverio po?"

"Oo, anak. Pero medyo bata pa ako no'n." Umakto si Mama na parang may inaalala.
"Anim na taon 'yata si Arrisea nang mag-trabaho ako roon bilang helper."
Tumango-tango lang si Adren. "Can I keep the picture po?"

Humalakhak si Mama. "Sige lang, anak! Naku, kinikilig ako sa inyong dalawa!"

Natawa na lang kami kay Mama. Bagets pa rin kasi itong mag-isip. It warms my heart,
knowing Mama likes Adren for me.

Matapos kumain ay nagkaroon kami ng oras para mag-kantahan at maglaro na si Mama

ang gumawa. Buong gabi ko tinitignan si Adren, he was either laughing or smiling
genuinely.

It's what he deserves. Genuine happiness.

"Ingat ka, anak! Balik ka ha!" Niyakap ni Mama si Adren bago ito umalis.

Adren looks stricken but he also hugged her back. Nakangiti lang ako sa gilid
habang pinapanood sila.

"Regalo ko pala sa'yo. Sana kasya, hindi kasi sinabi ni Arrisea ang size mo."

May inabot si Mama na regalo kay Adren. Adren lips parted as he looks at the gift
on his hands.

"Sensya na kung di branded, anak ha. Pero maganda tela niyan!"

"I didn't brought gifts po. Babawi na lang po ako sa susunod." Adren looks at me,
accusingly.

Sabi ko kasi di kami mahilig sa mga regalo. Ayaw ko kasi na dalhan niya ng kung
anu-anong regalo si Mama baka isipin talaga ni Mama sugar daddy ko 'to.

"Balik ka sa New Year, anak! Dadamihan ko ang mango float para sa'yo!"

We were walking towards the car waiting for him. It was almost midnight. Malamig na
tuloy ang hangin lalo pa't disyembre na.

"Thank you, Arrisea."

Nakapamulsa si Adren, his walk was slower than mine. Para bang ayaw niya pang
umalis.
"Parang ewan 'to. Ako nga dapat mag-thank you e. Anong oras ka na tuloy uuwi sa
inyo. Di ka ba hinahanap ng..."

I realized something. His family didn't even contact him during this day. Noche
Buena pa naman, hindi man lang sila nagtaka na wala si Adren?

"Tomorrow. You'll meet them." He looks conflicted while licking his lower lip.

"You are not your family, Adren." sabi ko sa kanya. "You are more than your
surname."

Ngumiti lang siya sa akin. He kissed me on my cheeks before going inside the car.

I waved him goodbye even though the car was tinted. I couldn't see if he saw me
waving.

Tama ba talagang kilalanin ko ang pamilya niya? The Reverios, huh.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 17 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 17

"Kailangan ba talaga ganyan?" Tinuro ko ang damit na nakalatag sa hinihigaan ko.

Naka-double deck bed kasi kami ni Arya.

May dumating na package kinaumagahan matapos ang Noche Buena. Isa itong ready-to-
wear dress galing sa isang kilalang luxury brand. I don't know about it that much,
pero nanglalaki ang mga mata ni Arya nang makita ang package.

The package contains a dark blue v-neck long chiffon gown and a pair of strappy
heels.

"Alam niya size mo, Ate." Nangliit ang mga mata ni Arya.

"Maniwala ka saakin, wala pa akong sinusukong bataan."

Arya scrunched her nose. "Pakilala mo ako sa mga kaibigan niya Ate, kailangan ko
rin sponsor."

I remembered Gio and shook my head profusely. "Sa iba na lang, Arya! Magi!"
"Bakit Ate? Ikaw lang pwede lumandi?"

Tumawa lang ako kay Arya. Hindi naman siya mahilig makipag-landian. Mas mahal niya
pa ang mga palette at contour stick niya.

Before 8pm, nag-ayos na ako para diretso sundo na lang. Nanghiram ng gamit si Arya
sa malapit na parlor para ayusan ako. She's really good at this, balak nga niya
maging stylist 'yata pagkatapos niya sa pag-aaral.

She straighten my hair using a hair iron. She applied make up on me, sinigurado
niya na bagay ito sa damit. Nang matapos ay sakto namang dumating ang Ford
Expedition nila Adren sa harap ng bahay namin.

"Basta kapag nag-offer ng pera, sabihin mo kailangan mo networth ni Bill Gates para
umatras." Seryosong sabi ni Arya.

I laughed at her. "Noted, Arya."

Pumasok ako sa kotse at nginitian ako nung driver. Ito palagi ang driver ni Adren.
Ngumiti ako pabalik at inayos ang aking pagkakaupo. Hindi ko alam bakit ngayon pa
lang ay kinakabahan na ako.

Gumagapang ang kaba sa aking puso habang parami nang parami ang mga building na
nadadaanan namin. Hindi ko mapigilan na isipin na totoo ba itong pinapasok ko? I
was entering his world. Alam ko naman na iba ang antas naming dalawa.

The car turned to a path that leads to a long driveway that is surrounded by tall
trees. Nakatingin lang ako sa mga matatayog puno na nilalagpasan ng aking mga mata.

Huminto kami sa isang malaking gate. Madilim ang paligid at tanging ang loob lamang
ng mansyon ang maliwanag.

Mala-palasyo ang anyo nitong mansyon nila. Parang inabandonang palasyo pero hindi
naman ito marumi tingnan bagkus ang linis nga nito sa mata. Parang gawa ito sa
Victorian era. It reminds of the palaces from the disney movies.

It was grand to look at, actually. A little too grand for me.

Pinagbuksan pa ako ng pinto ng kotse. Tumango ako sa driver at nagpasalamat.

Tiningnan ko ang hawak kong imbitasyon na kasama sa damit na binigay ni Adren sa

akin. Nang makapunta ako sa isang staircase paakyat sa loob ng mansyon, may
nakaabang na naka-tux na lalaki.

Ngumiti ito sa akin at nilahad ang kamay, ang tingin niya ay nasa imbitasyon sa
kamay ko. Inabot ko ito at tumango lang siya at pinayagan na akong umakyat sa
itaas.

Kung nandito si Franny at Suzette, kanina pa nila ako tinawanan nang wagas. I was
really trying my best to behave properly.

Mabait 'yan? Totoo ba 'yan? Si Arrisea ka ba talaga?

I could hear them making fun of how I'n trying to fit in. Minsan lang naman ito
kaya sana pagbigyan na nila ako.

Sumalubong sa akin ang samu't-saring mga tao. Ang mga tindig nila ay halatang mga
galing sa mayayaman na angkan. The way they dress, talk and drink from their
champagne glass screams rich.

A live orchestra was playing on a small stage, every decor was made with gold and
the curtains were shimmering. Ayoko man aminin, medyo kinakabahan ako mapahiya sa
ganitong klaseng lugar.

"Nasaan si Adren?" I muttered to myself. Hindi ko man lang dinala ang cellphone ko.

Medyo umakyat ang kaba ko sa dibdib nang may mga tumingin sa akin. I was used to
people staring at me. Pero bakit halos dumidikit ang kanilang titig sa aking balat?

It felt awful.

Bumuntong hininga ako at naghanap muna kung saan pwedeng tumambay habang hinahanap
ko si Adren. Ginagala ko ang paningin ko ngunit ni anino niya ay hindi ko makita.

Napunta ako sa isang balkonahe nang mapagod ang mga paa ko. I saw a figure seating
on the balcony itself. Natakot ako sa kanya dahil kahit may barandilla ito, baka
siya'y mahulog.

"Bumaba ka riyan," sambit ko sa kanya habang papalapit.

His feet was even swaying back and forth. Hindi ba siya natatakot na baka mahulog
siya? Isang tulak lang sa kanya ay lasog-lasog ang katawan niya!

Lumingon siya saakin. The first thing I notice about him was his grey eyes, he was
looking at me with a bored expression.

Naka-contact lens ba siya?

His face is symmetrical, his eyes possessed a glint of mischief, he even has a nose
with a high bridge and his lips is a spread out cupid bow.

He looked pretty. Hindi gwapo, pero magandang lalaki. If that makes sense.

Wow, hindi po ako nagtataksil kay Adren. Pero marunong akong maka-appreciate ng
gawa ng Diyos.

"Why?" his voice was low.

I gulped. "Baka mahulog ka, nakamamatay kaya 'yan! Di ka ba natatakot?"

“The party inside is boring,” pabalang niyang sagot. “Mas maganda pa rito sa
labas.”

Agad naman akong nagtaas ng kilay. Well, puro nga naman matatanda ang nasa loob. I
could understand him for a bit.

"Arrisea? Aren't I right? Adren's lover?"

Nagulat ako dahil kilala niya ako. Pero alam ko sa sarili ko na ngayon ko lamang
siya nakita, it was my first time seeing someone with grey eyes.

"Ano naman ngayon?"

He arched an eyebrow before shrugging.

“I don't think you know what you're signing up for,” sagot niya sa akin. He was
still swaying his feet.

“Mahal namin ang isa't isa. Kung akala niyo magpapaapi ako, pwes hindi. Love
prevails, sorry na lang kayo.” I flipped my hair, kahit maikli lang naman ito.

Lumingon siya sa akin, he laughed mockingly. Ang paraan ng pagtitig niya sa akin ay
para bang isa akong bata na walang alam sa sinasabi ko.

"Ano ka? A disney princess?" He retorted. "Love is so easy to use as a reason yet
the outcomes are always hard to accept."

Unti-unti siyang bumaba sa kanyang pwesto, he walked towards me using slow steps as
he carefully examined me using his eyes. Lumapit siya sa akin at agad naman akong
napaigtad dahil sa biglaang paggalaw niya.

He whispered to my ears. "You can say that this is for love, but when things go
bad? It's hard to say that this happened because of love — because love has always
been too good in the eyes of people."

"Love is always good. No matter what." I insisted and emphasized. Lapagan ko pa

siya ng verse galing sa Corinthians e.

He suppressed his laugh by covering his mouth. "You're so brave yet naive at the
same time."

Kumunot ang noo mo. "Ano?"

He smirked. "Do you know the cost of letting someone taste love when in fact you
can't really give it to them?"

Hindi ako nakasagot. Gusto ko siyang sagutin pero walang salitang lumalabas sa
bibig ko.

"Arrisea." May kamay na pumulupot sa aking bewang.

Adren was glaring at the grey eyed guy who had a coy smile on his face.

"Sino ba 'yan?" bulong ko kay Adren.

"Wow, the heir of the leading IT Firm and the heir of the Reverios in one place?
This is something."

May lumapit sa'min na babae. She was eyeing me curiously, her eyes are full of
judgement.

"And a gold digger, who just have to pick whether she wants the EIJE Corp or the
Reverio's assets."

Nangliit ang mga mata ko at nagtaas ng kilay sa kanya. "Balitang-balita sa radyong

sira, babaing pakilamera nakitang palutang-lutong sa ilog, hindi lumubog dahil
saksakan ng plastic."

Tinaas ko ang middle finger ko sa kanya. Sa iba na lang siya maging kontrabida,
hindi 'yan eepekto sa akin.

Her face reddened in fury. Pero nang makita niya kung paano tumingin si Adren sa
kanya, she was frozen at her spot. She remained glaring at me.

Ngumiti sa kanya si Adren. "Consider that every business proposals your dad offers
in the company will be rejected."
Nalaglag ang panga nung babae. "I w-was just kidding! Why do you have to take it
personally?"

Adren's face darkened and he scoffs."The mere fact he raised a daughter who uses
derogatory terms to greet strangers makes it look like he cannot create things well
— because if he can, then why did you exist?"

Iba talaga fliptop ng mga mayayaman. Hindi na lang ako umimik, mamaya ako pa ma-
english e.

The girl was trembling as she walked away.

May biglang pumalakpak sa likod namin. It was the grey eyed guy and he was
grinning.

"I have to go now, thank you for the great show."

"Etienne," Adren's gaze at him with anger. "Don't meddle with my life."

Etienne pala ang pangalan niya. Tumingin ako sa kanya at nakita ko kung paano siya
nag-aktong nasaktan, nilagay niya ang kamay niya sa dibdib at ngumuso.

"It's as if we're not childhood friends, Kuya Adren." He smirked."See you next
year, Arrisea."

Hindi ko alam bakit umakyat ang takot sa puso ko. Tumingin lang ako sa kanya habang
papaalis na siya.

"Did he say anything weird?" Agad na lumingon si Adren sa akin, nakakunot ang noo
at halata ang pagka-balisa sa kanyang tono.

Umiling ako. "Wala naman."

What he says doesn't bother me, kahit parang ang dami niyang alam sa buhay namin.

Althrough out the party, tambay kami sa buffet area o kaya nakikipagusap si Adren
sa mga matatandang lalaki at babae. It was as if he wasn't the same age as we are.
Tumikhim naman ako bago umiinom sa sparkling wine na nasa kamay ko.

"Pwede pa ba kumuha ng cake?" tanong ko kay Adren nang lumayo na ang kausap niya.

"Yeah, samahan kita?"

"Nope! Kaya ko na."

I went to where the desserts are, sobrang tuwa ko nang may makita pa akong
tiramisu. When the waitress handed me a plate of tiramisu, I thanked her.

Kumakain lang ako sa may gilid dahil wala naman akong kakilala rito. Someone sat
beside me and I immediately peek who it was.

A girl with jet black hair, and skin as fair as snow sat beside me. Akala ko pa
naman si Tatiana na ang pinaka-maputing tao na nakita ko. This girl exudes elegance
as she fix the gloves on her hand.

Iba ang pagdala niya sa kanyang sarili. She looked elegant with no trance of any
arrogance but she makes it seem like she's superior among us.

"Hello," she greeted coldly.

I wasn't narcissistic but I knew I was pretty. Pero ang babaing ito ay hindi ko
maipaliwanag ang ganda niya, it wasn't just her face — it was on her entire aura.
Her cat like eyes, pointed nose, high cheekbones and posture tells so.

Tumikhim ako at bumati pabalik. "Hi! Arrisea nga pala. Pero wala akong business
kaya wala kang mapapala sa akin."

She smiled, still as cold as how she greeted me before.

"Solstice."

Even her name sounds cold.

"Adren is acting vulnerable because of you," she didn't hesitate to tell me.

Pareho kaming napatingin kay Adren na nakakunot ang noo habang may mga kausap na
grupo ng tao.

"What?"

Lumingon siya sa akin."If it's just the money, hingiin mo na lang sa kanya. Making
him feel loved doesn't change the fact that you'll soon leave and ruin his life
anyway."

Natigalgal ako. Ano bang pinagsasabi nito? Paano ko masisira buhay ni Adren? Shabu
ba ako, ha?
“Sino bang nagsabi na iiwan ko siya?” asik ko sa kanya. She grinned at me, her eyes
full of mockery.

"Since you're not from our social circle, sa tingin mo ba ay tatagal ka? You think
he's serious with you?" malamig niyang usal.

I have always considered that possibility. Baka naninibago lang sa akin si Adren o
baka sa tingin niya ay kaya ko nga talaga siyang mahalin kahit parang napaka-
misteryoso niyang tao. Pero kapag naalala ko kung paano siya ngumiti sa akin nang
totoo, hindi ko na magawang isipin na maaaring walang katotohanan ang nararamdaman
niya para sa akin.

"Bakit mo 'to sinasabi sa akin?"

She smiled at me, and for some reason — I saw Adren's fake smile.

"For someone who didn't receive any love ever since he was born," She rested her
head on her palms as she stare at me.

"You are his hope that maybe he can also love, just like any other person." She
smirks. "What if someone turns his hope to his own despair?"

Nanlalamig ako at halos mamanhid ang paa ko sa sobrang tagal na naestatwa ako.

"Goodluck, Arrisea. Welcome to the family." She gave another fake smile before
departing, leaving me speechless on my position.

"Solstice Reverio," a girl who looks like a host for the party called."Your Mom is
waiting for you."

Reverio?

Napako ang titig ko sa kanya habang papaalis siya. Hindi na siya bumaling pa ulit
ng tingin sa akin.

Adren has two sisters — and I met one of them.

"Hey," Adren strides on my way.

I was rubbing my arms for some reason. Lumunok muna ako bago bumaling kay Adren.

"Solstice talked to me."

Adren licked his lower lip and cussed under his breath. "Sol has always been like
that."

"Always been?"

"Whatever she says is not important, okay?" he assured me, giving me a quick hug.

Nang makita ko si Adren, doon ko lang nakita ang sinasabi ni Solstice. Gone with
his fake smile and emotionless face, Adren is wearing his heart on his sleeves.

Hindi ko alam bakit naramdaman ako ng pangamba bigla. Did I really messed up? Wala
akong alam...I didn't know...

"Grandpa wants to meet you." His eyes softens. "Arri?"

Ngayon ko lang napagtantuan ang pinasok ko. What Sol said is bothering me.
Nararamdaman ko ang panginginig ng kalamnan ko.

"Yeah, sure."

Pumunta kami sa isang pribadong kwarto sa ikalawang palapag ng mansyon. When the
door opened, an old fashioned office welcomed us.

"Arrisea!" A jolly old man immediately hugged me. "My future daughter-in-law!"

Bakas sa mukha niya ang kanyang edad. Puti na rin ang kanyang buhok pero ang tindig
niya ay parang binata pa rin.

I wasn't expecting this.

Akala ko may alok na agad na pera, e. Buti naman wala dahil hanggang ngayon ay nasa
utak ko pa si Solstice.

"I can't believe that Adren has finally meet someone. I didn't want to arrange him
with someone, Hija." Bumuntong hininga ang Lolo ni Adren.

Ngumiti nang tipid si Adren habang ang kamay ay nasa bewang ko pa rin.

Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko. Akala ko talaga ilalabas ko na ang linyahan ko na

pamatay.
Hindi po ako bayaran. Paglalaban po namin ang pagmamahalan namin. Pero negotiable
naman po.

"I'm Alfred Reverio, Hija." Niyakap niya ako nang mahigpit, I could feel his
eagerness.

Kung ganito naman pala ang pamilya niya, why was I scared in the first place?
Solstice was probably just bluffing.

"Dayanara and Alfos is still trying for a child," Lolo Alfred sighed. "Still trying
to conceive a male to replace you as a heir."

Naguusap si Lolo Alfred at Adren sa isang study table. Habang ako ay kumakain lang
ng biscuit sa gilid.

"Anyway, you're already the legitimate heir so don't be scared of the possibility.
I don't want to accept any more offsprings from those two," Lolo Alfred says.

Ngumiti ulit sa akin si Lolo Alfred saka bumaling kay Adren."I'm glad you already
met someone, I was always worried I was spending my time in my hospital bed too
much that I didn't get to take care of you."

Adren was holding my other hand as I was eating the biscuits on the plate infront
of us.

Tumingin sa akin si Adren at nginitian ko naman siya.

Hinigpitan ko ang paghawak sa takot na baka mamaya ay may kumalas sa amin.

Who would have thought I'll also be the first one to let go?

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 18 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 18

"Hindi ka ba hinahanap sa inyo?"

Nasa kusina si Adren kasama si Mama habang nagaayos sila ng mga sangkap na
gagamitin mamaya para sa salubong ng bagong taon.

"Grandpa said I could stay here if I wanted to." Adren was looking at me, feigning
innocence.
Nakausap ko si Lolo Alfred, sa ibang bansa sila madalas pumupunta tuwing New Year.
Nasa New York nga 'yata si Lolo Alfred ngayon kasama ang pamilya ni Adren. Hindi ko
nakilala si Dayanara at Alfos Reverio sa gabing 'yon at wala na akong balak
kilalanin sila. So far, hindi maganda ang tingin ko sa kanilang dalawa.

"Bakit ayaw mo sa New York?"

Hindi siya sumagot at nagpatuloy sa paglalagay ng graham sa isang malaking

tupperware. Ewan ko bakit ito nagpaiwan dito sa Pilipinas. Sobra ba siyang
makabayan?

Nagpunas ng kamay si Mama sa apron niya. "Arrisea! Samahan mo si Adren gumawa ng

mango graham."

Maarte si Mama sa pagluluto kaya halos kumpleto siya sa mga kagamitan sa bahay
pagdating dito. Wala nga lang kami nung mga mamahaling oven dahil baka magastos sa
kuryente.

Tumango ako. "Sige, Ma."

Binuhos ko ang kondensada at all purposed cream sa isang bowl. Hinalo ko ito
hanggang sa humalo ang kulay ng kondensada sa krema.

"Nandito ka rin hanggang bukas?"

He bobbed his head. "Yup."

Tumawa ako. "Para naman kitang tinatanan."

Naghiwa ako ng mangga habang si Adren naman ang naglagay nung krema de leche sa
graham na inaayos niya kanina.

"May gusto ba kayong puntahan bukas?" tanong ni Adren nang lumapit ako sa kanya
para i-abot ang mga mangga.

"Wala. Ayaw mo ba sa bahay?"

"No, I still didn't give any gifts to your family yet."

"Ilang araw na ang lumipas. Tapos na ang pasko, hindi rin naman humihingi ang mga
kapatid ko o si Mama. Huwag mo na masyado alahanin 'yon."
Kumunot ang noo niya sa akin. "I insist. They're also..."

Bigla siyang natigilan at tumingin muna sa akin na para bang humihingi ng permisyo.

Ngumiti ako sa kanya. "They're also your family."

Kahit si Solstice at Lolo Alfred pa lang ang nakikilala ko sa mga kamaganak niya,
nararamdaman ko ang hidwaan sa kanilang pamilya.

"Ilalagay lang 'to sa fridge?" tanong ni Adren habang hawak ang tupperware ng mango
graham.

Tumango ako at nagpatuloy sa paghihiwa ng mga sangkap ni Mama para sa iba pang
putahe na lulutuin niya mamaya.

Archer was with Arya, he was stumbling while walking towards us. Inaalalayan naman
siya ni Arya.

"Si Archer, baka may gustong puntahan?" Adren kept prying, even raising a brow at
me.

"Palengke!" Humagikgik si Archer sabay palakpak. "Palengke na may aircon!"

Tumingin ako kay Arya kaya naman nagkibit balikat ito saakin. Ano ba 'tong mga
tinuturo nila kay Archer?

"Mall, Ate. Lahat ng pamilihan ay palengke ang tawag niya."

"Let's go to MOA tomorrow? Although it might be crowded." Anyaya ni Adren.

"Ikaw bahala," sagot ko. "Saglit lang, aakyat lang ako sa kwarto namin."

Nang madaanan ko si Arya ay agad niya akong hinawakan sa braso para bumulong.

"Ate, 'di ba ang sugardaddy matanda na? Hindi mo naman sugardaddy si Kuya Adren 'di
ba?"

May halong pangaakusa ang tono niya kaya kinurot ko siya sa kamay. Agad siyang
napabitawan at ngumiwi.

"Di ko 'yan sugardaddy! Naku, ikaw talaga!"

I don't really like Adren spending money on me. Hindi rin naman kasi talagang
maiwasan na isipin ng iba na pera lang ang habol ko sa kanya. Pero siya kasi itong
pilit nang pilit. I do my best to be frugal though, para makita niyang di naman
kailangan gumastos ng pera talaga.

Nang dumating na ang gabi ay agad kaming umakyat sa pangalawang palapag ng bahay
namin para tingnan ang mga fireworks. We were counting down the remaining time
before the clock strikes twelve.

The sky that look like a blank canvas was now full of colors thanks to the
fireworks. Meron pang iba't ibang hugis at tunog ang mga ito.

Tuwang-tuwa si Archer habang buhat siya ni Mama. Arya was talking with someone on
her phone and I was resting my head on Adren's shoulder as he was holding me on my
waist.

"I love you, everyday." Tumingin ako sa kanya.

Adren looks at me as he licked his lower lip. His eyes were as black as onyx but I
could see a lot of emotions from it unlike before. I smiled at him.

You've gone through a lot but you're finally capable of feeling emotions, Adren.

"I love you..too..."Adren kissed the top of my head, I could feel his lips
quivering. "Everyday, Arrisea."

As I look at him, he was looking at me with vulnerability. His grip around my waist
tightens.

He was scared.

Of what?

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"Dapat nagdala na lang tayo ng medyas! Grabe naman sa patong ng price!" Reklamo ko
habang nilalagyan ng medyas ang mga paa ni Archer.

"Tapos may bayad pa 'yung guardian! Parang mage-enjoy naman tayo sa loob niyan."
Ginatungan pa ni Arya na kanina pa handang pumasok sa palaruan.

"Nagrereklamo sila pero tingnan mo mas excited pa pumasok kumpara kay Archer."
Halakhak ni Mama.
Adren also chuckled while his arms were across his chest. Ito kasing si Archer ay
nagyaya sa isang malaking palaruan sa loob ng mall.

Si Arya ang nagbantay kay Archer sa loob nung palaruan habang si Mama ay pinapunta
ni Adren sa isang facial shop para hindi mabagot kakahintay sa dalawa.

"Saan tayo?" tanong ko kay Adren nang mapagtantuan na kaming dalawa na lang pala
ang natira.

"Let's buy gifts for them?"

"Are you sure? Baka magalit pamilya mo kasi gumagastos ka ng hindi mo naman pera."

Ayoko talaga 'yon. Hindi naman kami lumaki sa luho kaya ayokong isipin ng iba na
ginagatasan lang namin si Adren.

Adren let out a long sighed, it sounds like frustration was coming out of his
breath.

Kinuha niya ang cellphone niya at pinakita sa akin ang isang message galing sa Lolo
niya.

Grandpa:

Make sure to treat them well! I don't care if you maximized your cards, I need my
grandchildren already. Lmao

I saw Adren's response to his Lolo.

Adren:

Don't use lmao if you don't know it.

We're also still kids.

Grandpa:
Fyi, lmao means laughing my awesomeness out. I do my research well, apo.

Tbh, I do not promote teenage pregnancy. I'm willing to wait.

Humalakhak ako. "Mahal na mahal ka niya, ano? Magka-vibes kayo?"

Umiling siya, wrinkling his nose."He didn't use to be like that. He's strict when
it comes to others. I just did something...before.."

Ilang beses siyang kumurap bago nagpatuloy. "He's just scared to lose his heir.
That's all, but if he loves me? I'm not quite sure."

"Bakit naman?"

"I lived with a patriarchal family, Arri." His face hardened as he mentioned the
word 'family'.

"A family that only knows your worth if you're a male." he run his hands through
his hair. "I wouldn't like to really call it a family."

Naalala ko bigla si Solstice, although her appearance is as cold as winter,

nararamdaman ko ang nagaapoy niyang galit sa loob. I could hear the hatred in her
words.

Nalungkot ako para sa kanila. Magkapatid sila pero para bang ginagawa silang
magkaaway ng sarili nilang magulang.

"Galit ba sa'yo si Solstice?"

“I don't know...” he confessed.

“Hindi ba dapat nagmamahalan kayo? Magkapatid kayo, e.”

"Love isn't allowed for us." Adren smiled at me, sadness was evident in it. "I do
not believe in love simply because love didn't exist for us in the first place."

This was probably the reason why he didn't appreciate the things given to him
because of love. He probably finds it ridiculous before.

"Kung walang pag-ibig, hindi kayo mabubuo." Pangangaral ko at bigla kong na-realize
na parang iba pala. "Wait, parang mali. Hindi pala kayo mabubuhay sa mundo."

"Alfos choose Dayanara since he claimed he loved her..." sarkastikong sambit ni

Adren. "But when she can't bare him with any male offsprings, the love was
instantly gone. Is that the love you're trying to preach, Arri?"

"Hindi mo sila tinatawag na Papa at Mama? Daddy or Mommy?"

He tilted his head to face me. "Do they deserve it?"

"Magulang mo pa rin sila..."

I could see the hurt in his eyes as he spoke. "They never were my parents. They
never made me feel like I was their son..."

Pakiramdam ko ay binabalatan ko ang mga sugat niyang naghihilom pa lang kaya naman
minabuti ko na hawakan ang kamay niya.

"Sorry, huwag na lang natin pagusapan. Si Mama mahilig sa mga kitchenware, si Arya
sa mga makeup at si Archer ay sa pagkain." I diverted our topic, hindi ko naman
intensyon na masaktan siya.

He smiled at me. "Arri, please don't abandon me in the dark."

"Ha?"

"I hate dark places."

Nagtataka akong nagtaas ng kilay sa kanya. "May ilaw naman dito?"

"I never want to go back to that place." His breathing hitched. "I don't think
someone can find me...but you did."

Ngumiti lang ako sa kanya.

"Through light and darkness, I'll be there for you."

Una kaming pumunta sa department store, we picked some kitchenware for Mama. Sunod
naman ay mga make up ni Arya, we went to some pop up stores of her favorite brands.
Tapos huling-huli kay Archer, maraming kung anu-anong stall ng pagkain doon kaya
marami rin kaming nabili para sa kanya.

"Ikaw?" tanong ni Adren. "May gusto ka ba?"

Umiling ako. "Okay na 'yan, masaya na ako na nage-effort ka para sa pamilya ko."

He gave me a small smile. "Our family."

I can't explain the sensation inside my heart, all I know is it's really warm and
calming.

"Wala pa akong regalo sa'yo." Bumuntong hininga ako. "Ano bang gusto mo?"
"You gave me a family, Arri." His eyes softens as interwined our fingers. "It's
more than what I hope for."

Ngumiti ako sa kanya. I didn't how much he values this. Totoo nga talaga, sometimes
even the smallest change can affect someone's life.

"I still want to give you something."

He grab something from his pocket. It was a small box that looks fancy. Ngumiwi
naman ako sa kanya.

"Ang gastos mo talaga!"

He chuckled. "Arri, I always hated my surname."

He opened the box and a small ring that has 'Arrisea Reverio' engraved in it was
revealed.

My lips parted as I look at him. He was looking at me with the same anticipation,
the way he looks at me tells me he's been preparing for this.

"So, can you give me a reason not to hate it anymore?"

"We're still kids," pangaalaska ko sa kanya habang nilahad ang kamay ko. He gently
slides the ring on my ring finger.

He laughs and said in an old man's tone mimicking his grandpa."Tbh, I do not
promote teenage pregnancy. I'm willing to wait."

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 19 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 19

It was almost summer.

I freaking survived grade 11.

Hinihintay kong lumabas si Adren galing sa loob dahil kasama kasi siya sa
recognition para sa taon na ito. My grades were good but my conduct didn't pass for
the achievers so I wasn't included.
"Congrats!" Sinalubong ko si Adren nang yakap. Binalik naman niya ito habang hawak-
hawak pa rin ang certificate niya.

"Thank you!" He said, grinning.

"Ang galing ni Zafirah!" Manghang saad ko habang nakikita siyang kausap ang over
all top 1 ng STEM na si Sarathiel. Ang goals, ah? I heard she's the over all top
too.

Zafirah and I got to know each other when she asked me if I can help her bake a
blueberry cheesecake during Valentine's. Nakakatuwa nga siyang panoorin no'n dahil
halatang hindi siya marunong magluto. Still, she was making an effort for
Sarathiel.

"Next year, pwede ka rin makasama." He pinched both of my cheeks. "Practice ka

maging mabait, ha?"

Ngumiwi naman ako sa kanya. Akala mo naman anghel 'tong isang 'to! Baka fallen
angel, pwede pa.

"Wait, I'll just reserve our seats."

Tumalikod si Adren sa akin dahil may kausap siya sa telepono para sa reservation sa
resto. I looked around and frowned upon seeing someone.

Natanaw ko si Suzette na may kausap sa college building. Nagtataka akong lumapit

dito dahil wala naman na kaming klase at pareho kaming wala sa honors.

"Suzy," mahigpit ang pagkakahawak nung lalaki sa mga kamay ni Suzy. "Pakinggan mo
naman ako."

Suzy was shaking. Ngayon ko lang nakita ang kaibigan ko na nanlulumo ang itsura.
Unti-unting lumandas ang luha sa kanyang mukha.

"Gago..." pilit na inaalis ni Suzy ang pagkakahawak sa kanya.

"Suzy, makinig ka naman sa akin!" singhal nung lalaki.

"P-paano ha?! Paano mo n-nagawa 'yon?!" histerikal na sigaw ni Suzette.

"Suzy, huwag ka sumigaw. Huwag dito dahil maraming tao. Halika, magusap tayo sa
ibang lugar..."
Hindi ko alam kung bakit halos bumaluktot ang mga lamang loob ko sa mga
napapakinggan ko. The guy is coercing her for sure.

"Bitawan mo kaibigan ko," malamig kong saad.

Masama ang tingin sa akin nung lalaki nang bumaling siya sa akin. He dismissively
wave his hand at me, indicating for me to get lost.

"Naguusap lang kami, Miss. Labas ka rito."

Lalo lamang akong lumapit.

"Nasasaktan na siya, tanga. Nanay mo, sana di ka na lang nilabas sa tiyan." Dinuro
ko ang namumulang pulso ni Suzy sa sobrang higpit ng hawak nung lalaki.

"Bitawan mo na ako, Luis." Nanghihina ang boses ni Suzette. "Pakiusap, umalis ka

na."

Luis didn't budge and even yanked Suzy to his side. Nagtiim bagang ako dahil sa
ginawa niya at minabuting tulungan na si Suzy.

"Suzette, maaayos pa natin 'to."

Umiling-uling si Suzy. "Umalis ka na. Nandito lang ako dahil ibabalik ko lahat ng
binigay mo."

Sinipa ni Suzette ang isang malaking box papunta roon sa lalaki. She averted her
gaze while her tears were cascading down her face.

"Huwag mo na ako tatawagan, kokontakin, o kahit ano." Malungkot siyang tumingin kay
Luis. "Magagalit girlfriend mo."

Umawang ang labi ko sa sinabi niya. That's impossible, hindi ito magagawa ni
Suzy...

What the hell...

Tumalikod na si Suzette at malalaki ang kanyang mga hakbang. Sinundan ko naman siya
para maliwanagan ako.

I started throwing questions at her.

"Ano 'yon? Pumatol ka sa may girlfriend, Suzy?"

Umiling-iling siya at hindi na napigilan ang mga luha. "Hindi niya sinabi sa akin,
Arri. Hindi ko alam, maniwala ka sa akin."

My heart was aching seeing her like this. Kahit ganito si Suzy ay hindi naman siya
ang tipong sisira ng isang relasyon. She knew her limits and also we wouldn't want
to tolerate that.

Suzette was always the bubbly one. Siya 'yung tumatawa pa kahit mababa ang scores
na nakuha niya. Sasayaw pa nga siya ng spaghetti dahil pababa raw ito nang pababa.

Kaya ngayon na nakikita ko kung gaano siya kadehado at kalungkot tingnan, hindi ko
maiwasan ang yakapin siya.

I enfolded my arms around her and rested my chin on her shoulders. Unti-unti kong
hinagod ang kanyang likod habang pinapakiramdaman ang mabilis na tibok ng kanyang
puso.

Humihikbi siya sa aking dibdib. Nararamdaman ko ang panginginig niya. Hinagod ko

siya sa likod upang kumalma siya kahit papaano.

“Hindi mo alam, Suzy...” I cooed. “And you also end it, tapos na. You want us to
tell it to his girlfriend?”

“She already knows and she blames me...”

Kumunot naman ang noo ko. What the? Si Suzy pa ang sinisi?

"N-nagulat na l-lang ako, sinugod a-ako nung g-girlfriend niya sa c-college r-

rin..." patuloy lang siya sa pagiyak. "Senior High pa lang daw ako pero malandi na
ako."

May kung anong bumara sa lalamunan ko. I felt like crying for her. Pero ayoko naman
pareho kaming iiyakan ang isang walang kwentang lalaki, hindi siya deserving.

"Bakit ikaw ang inaway? Hindi si Luis? O kung sino man 'yon."

Her puffy eyes looked at me, sumisinghot pa siya dahil sa kanyang pag-iyak.

"Hindi naman d-daw ako lalandiin ni Luis k-kung hindi ako nagpakita ng motibo."

My heart pounded against my chest.

"Hindi naman 'di ba?"

She shook her head.

"Pumunta ako sa club nila Daphne. Alam mo namang mahilig ako manamit ng...maiikli
'di ba? Tapos doon ko na kilala si Luis..." Natigilan siya at humugot nang malalim
na hininga.

Lalo lamang nagkaroon ng yupi ang aking noo sa sinabi niya. Bakit nadamay ang
kanyang suot? May label ba ang mga damit na nagsasabi kung malandi ang isang tao o
hindi? What's the connection of her clothes?

"Tapos?"

She cried harder.

"May picture kasi kami ni Luis nung gabi na 'yon. Pinagkakalat niya na nilandi ko
si Luis pero makabuntis man si Franny, si Luis ang unang lumapit saakin at pakilala
niya ay single!"

Napasapo ako sa noo ko."Bakit kasi hindi ka na lang kay Zyair o Gio?"

Natigilan siya. She chuckled yet without humor. Pinunasan niya ang mga bakas ng
luha sa kanyang mukha. She looked at me as if I was joking.

"Hindi naman nila ako magugustuhan..." Ngumiti nang malungkot si Suzette. "Malandi
kasi ako tingnan e. Malandi na nga ako tapos malandi pa ako tingnan, 'di ba? Double
kill."

That's not true. Hindi naman masama ang maging malandi. Everyone has their own
flirty side. Ang iba ay tago lamang pero wala namang tao na hindi nagkakaroon ng
malanding buto sa katawan nila — unless you're asexual and that's definitely
alright.

“Suzy, kung malandi ka man. Hindi mo na 'yon problema. Malandi rin naman ako.
Malandi tayong lahat. We just have our own ways in expressing it.”

“I didn't flirt with Luis knowing he has a girlfriend. Hindi naman ako gano'n
kababa...”

“I know, Suzy.” I hushed her. “I know.”

She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Akala ko lang si Luis 'yung kaya akong mahalin sa kung sino ako. Hindi 'yung dahil
lang sa mukha akong easy to get. Di ko naman 'yon itatanggi e. Pero sana naman..."
Pinunasan ni Suzy ang mga bakas ng luha sa mukha niya.

Sa napapaos niyang boses ay nagawa niyang sabihin ang mga katagang bumiyak sa aking
puso.

"Sana naman may magmahal saakin kahit ganito lang ako."

Tumingin sa akin si Suzy, bakas sa mukha ang lungkot at pait ng naranasan.

"Arri, iniisip ko nga kung kasing ganda mo ba ako ay may magmamahal saakin nang
totoo? Kung kasing talino man lang ba ako nung babae sa academic tracks, may
magseseryoso saakin?" Tumatawa siya habang pinupunasan ang mga luha.

Umiling ako sa kanya.

“You're worthy of love, Suzy. We're all worthy of the love we think we deserve.” I
comforted her but the sadness in her eyes can still be seen.

"Gusto ko lang naman ng pagmamahal, Arri e. Bawal ba 'yon? Bakit nila ako
pinaglalaruan? Ano bang ginawa ko sa kanila?"

Sobra ang hinagpis na nararamdaman ko para kay Suzette. Nakakaurat na bakit

kailangan nilang umiyak sa maling tao.

“Pero tapos naman na 'di ba?”

Her eyes fell downwards and slowly she shook her head.

"G-gusto ni Luis na magpatuloy kami. Itatago raw namin kay Pamela 'yung relasyon—"

I gritted my teeth in anger.

"Okay lang ba siya?!"

May utak ba 'yung lalaki na 'yon ha? Bakit parang isang organ lang ang kaya niyang
paganahin?!

Tumahimik si Suzy. "Muntik na akong pumayag, Arri..." Niyakap niya ako nang
mahigpit. "Buti dumating ka."
My jaw fell. What the actual...

The sudden realization that Suzy could have done that made me feel numb. Did she
really feel unloved? Nandito naman kami, ah? Lumukot ang aking mukha habang patuloy
ang hagod sa kanyang likod.

I realized that some people may be surrounded by love but it doesn't mean they can
feel it. It was insensitive of me to think of that.

"May iba pang darating, Suzy." I consoled her. “Someone who deserves you...”

"Sana nga." Ramdam ko ang bigat ng nararamdaman niya sa kanyang dibdib.

Love was always good right?

I kept reminding myself that love was good. It's the one thing that cleans the
filth of this world.

Pero bakit parang unti-unti na itong nababago sa isip ko?

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"Kayo pa rin ni Kuya Adren, Ate?"

The question made me stop from what I was currently doing. Tiningnan ko siya habang
nakaupo siya sa isang sofa at ang mga mata'y naka-focus sa akin.

"Oo, Tati." I acknowledge her presence. Nandito kami ngayon sa bahay nila Lulia, it
was already May. Unlike last school year, sa June na ang start ng klase sa UJD.

She smiled. "Ang galing niyo naman po sa relasyon, Ate. Pwede po magpaturo?"

My forehead creased.

"Ha? Anong ituturo ko?"

Wala naman talaga akong alam sa gusto niyang ipaturo. I was a beginner myself, sino
ba ang expert sa love? I think there's no one who could call themselves as expert
when it comes to love — because love is something you think you already know, just
to realize it wasn't meant to be define in the first place.

Love is good, I'd say before. Bumuntong hininga ako. I really was naive because
ever since Suzy was fooled, my faith in love actually shaken.
She pouted, pumalumbaba siya sa lamesa.

"Turuan niyo po ako sa relasyon, Ate."

Naglilinis ako ng sala nang lumapit sa akin si Tatiana. Inaayos ko ang mga throw
pillow nang umupo siya sa inaayos kong sofa.

I cleared my throat.

"Anong gusto mong malaman? May nangliligaw ba sa'yo?"

Namula ang mga pisngi niya. "May gusto lang p-po akong tao."

I clenched my fists. Umawang ang bibig ko, but I'll give her the benefit of the
doubt. Malay ko ba kung iba na ang tipo niya? Malay ko hindi na si Adren?

"Unang-una sa lahat, dapat kung gugustuhin mo siya ay wala kang natatapakan na

ibang tao." Matamang saad ko.

It was subtle but I wanted to cross the line between the two of us. Hindi ako
natutuwa sa ginagawa niya. I saw how her emotion shifted into disdain.

Tumingin saakin si Tatiana. "Paano po kung mas deserving ako kumpara sa taong
kasama niya ngayon?"

Her innocent face makes my skin crawl. Seryoso ba siya? Akala ko ba mabait ito?

"Paano mo naman nasabing mas deserving ka?" Pinipigilan ko ang galit ko. Hindi ko
pa kumpirmado na si Adren ang tinutukoy niya.

"Hindi ko sasaktan 'yung taong gusto ko at hindi ko siya ginagamit dahil lang sa
pera." Inosenteng sambit niya, sumilay pa ang isang ngiti sa kanyang labi.

"Tulad ng ginagawa mo, Ate."

This fucking bitch! Nagtiim bagang ako sa sobrang galit na nararamdaman ko ay gusto
ko siyang kaladkarin pero hindi ako pwedeng maging bayolente sa bahay ng iba.

Tuluyan na akong natigilan sa ginagawa ko. I received many hate comments from
others, pero iba ang nararamdaman ko sa kanya. She probably deserve an award for
pissing me off this much.
"Ate, huwag ka sana magagalit. Gusto ko lang naman ang ikabubuti ng lahat." Her
voice sounded gentle but I knew better.

"Anong ibig mong sabihin?" mariin kong tanong, gritting my teeth.

Hinawakan niya ako sa aking mga kamay. She looked somewhat concern. Tumango-tango
pa siya na para bang alam niya ang pinagdaraanan ko.

"Kung pera lang habol mo, Ate. May mga kilala akong matandang—"

I didn't let her finish.

Dumapo nang malakas ang palad ko sa pagmumukha niya. Halos nakakabingi ang tunog ng
sampal na iginawad ko sa kanya.

She went towards the end of the sofa. Sa sobrang lakas ay natigalgal siya. Nagulat
din ako sa inakto ko kaya naman lumapit ako para tulungan siyang tumayo. Pero
tinabig niya ako at agad siyang nagpakawala nang matinis na pag-iyak.

"Arrisea!" Agad na pumagitna si Lulia na kararating lang. "Bakit mo siya

sinampal?!"

"Nademonyo 'yung kamay ko, biglang gumalaw para manampal." Sarkastikong sabi ko at
hindi tinatanggal ang tingin kay Tatiana.

Biglang umiyak si Tatiana habang hawak hawak ang parteng sinampal ko. Humagulgol
siya ng iyak.

"Arri! This is too much! Walang ginawa sa'yo ang pinsan ko!" Nanggagalaiting
singhal ni Lulia. I get her, she doesn't know.

"Ate Arri..." patuloy lang siyang umiiyak. "Nagsasabi lang ako ng totoo.
Tinutulungan lang kita."

What truth? That I'm only after Adren's money? At balak niya pa akong i-bugaw sa
kung sino?

"Hindi ko kailangan ng tulong mo!" singhal ko, I feel so degraded after processing
what she have just told me.

"Arri, ano bang nangyayari?" kalmanteng tanong ni Lulia, pilit na tinatago ang
galit sa nangyari.
"Lulia..." Pinunasan ni Tatiana ang kanyang mga luha. "I-inagaw ni Ate Arri s-si
Kuya A-adren saakin."

Anger seared through me. Hindi ko alam kung paano niya nagagawang sabihin ang mga
ito.

Ako? Kinuha si Adren mula sa kanya? Ilusyunada ang isang ito!

"Arri! No'ng una ay ayaw kitang pangunahan! Akala ko pa naman iba ka sa mga ka-
strand mo! Naniwala pa naman ako sa'yo." Umiling-iling si Lulia, halatang
dismayado.

“Huh? What about my strand?” I asked, I can't hide the disappointment in my voice.

“Totoo nga na halos mga patapon ka'yo. You even had the guts to bite the hand that
feeds you!” Lula shrieked at me. “You will never be successful at life, Arri. Lalo
na kung hanggang diyan ka na lang.”

“Anong sinabi mo?” I was fighting the urge of being consumed by anger.

"Malandi ka nga talaga tulad ng mga kaibigan mo! Akala mo ba hindi kalat na
nanglandi si Suzy kahit may girlfriend na 'yung lalaki? Pare-pareho kayong
malandi!"

Sanay na akong masabihan ng kung anu-ano. Pero iba pala ang sakit kapag nanggaling
ito sa mga tinuring mong kaibigan. Parang may punyal na sumaksak sa dibdib ko.

"Wala akong inaagaw! Boyfriend ko si Adren!" I spat out.

A smug look appeared on Lulia's face. "Adren has been texting my cousin since last
year! Hindi lang sila masyadong litaw dahil prinoprotektahan ni Adren si Tati sa
pamilya niya."

That rendered me speechless. Lahat ng tapang ko ay umurong. I can see how Tatiana
smiled despite having tears on her eyes.

"Lulia..." kumapit si Tati kay Lulia. "Baka masaktan si Ate Arri, maghinay-hinay ka
sa mga salita mo."

Lulia sneered at me. May yabang ang bawat hakbang niya papalapit sa akin. I moved
backwards because of it.

"Totoo naman! Dapat na magising ang ilusyunadang ito! Wake up, Arrisea! Sa tingin
mo ba mas matino ka kay Tatiana? With your reputation? You're just being played!"
ginatungan pa ni Lulia ang sinabi niya.
I clenched my fists. "Let me see the texts and I'll go."

Kinuha ni Lulia ang cellphone ni Tati at pinakita sa akin ang mga mensahe ni Adren
para kay Tati.

It was full of 'I love you's, kumain ka na ba, matulog ka na, at mga matatamis na
salita.

I laughed so hard that I could feel my jaw hurting. Still, it hurts.

It hurts so much. Sana pisikal na lang nila akong sinaktan. Adren was right,
emotional pain was the worst way to inflict pain on someone.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 20 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Warning: read at your own risk.

^ TG// Cyber bullying

Kabanata 20

"Patingin ako ng number."

Although the doubts were rising on my chest, I decided to put my trust on Adren.
Masakit kung totoo pero tatanggapin ko. Kung hindi naman, magiging tatingina ang
pangalan ni Tati sa utak ko.

I saw the panic on Tati's eyes. "H-he uses that number only for me. Iba ang gamit
niya sa inyo."

I rose a brow and smirked. "Tawagan mo."

"Tati, tawagan mo na nga si Adren nang tumahimik na 'tong si Arri!" Lulia urged
Tati who is turning pale as of the moment.

"Oh bakit? May load 'yan palagi si Adren. Tawagan mo na." Sarkastikong saad ko.

Biglang umiyak si Tati. Para siyang batang inagawan ng laruan. Lulia's eyes
immediately went wide as she comfort her cousin.

"Tati..." Tumingin saakin si Lulia. "Stop pressuring her, Arri!"

"Hindi kami maayos ni Kuya Adren ngayon. Ginugulo kasi siya ni Ate Arri! Baka di
niya sagutin..."

Gusto ko tawagan si Adren sa harap niya kaso wala akong load at saka mahal ang
roaming fee kapag sa ibang bansa ka tumawag. Nasa Singapore si Adren ngayong
bakasyon.

"Lumayas ka na nga rito, Arri! Wala ka ng trabaho! Ingrata!"

Gusto ko magalit kay Lulia. Ang sakit niya kasi magsalita na para bang wala kaming
pinagsamahan. Pero di ko magawa dahil alam kong binibilog lang siya ng pinsan niya.
Tati was a wolf in sheep's clothing.

"Ate A-arri, huwag k-ka sana magalit."

I raised my middle finger at her. "I don't wanna feel anything for you. Di ka
deserving para bigyan ko ng pake."

Nagtiim bagang si Lulia at dinuro ang pintuan ng kanilang bahay. "Get out! Now!"

Umirap ako sa kanila bago ako umalis. Bumuntong hininga ako nang tuluyan na akong
makalabas ng bahay nila.

I just hope this ends here. Ayoko na magkaroon ng kahit ano pang ugnayan kay
Tatiana kahit kailan.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Hindi ako sanay, sa unang buwan ng grade 12 ay agad kaming tinambakan ng mga
gawain. Hindi naman ako sobrang conscious sa grades pero kapag di ka kumilos ay
talagang babagsak ka kahit 1st semester pa lang.

"Tahimik mo." Sita ko kay Suzette na kanina pa tulala, nasa laboratory kami ngayon
para sa sandwich preparation na subject.

"Ha?" wala sa sariling bumaling si Suzy saakin. "Ah, wala."

Lumapit si Franny sa'min. "Suzy, may problema ka ba? Di mo rin kami kinakausap nung
bakasyon."

Bumuntong hininga si Suzy at ngumiti. "Sorry naman, busy lang ako."

"Ano ba kasi 'yon, Suzy? Parang tanga e. Ayaw sabihin!" Naiinis na sambit ni
Franny.

Suzy didn't call us or even message us through social media during the vacation.
Ngayon ay parang iniiwasan niya pa kami. Naiintindihan ko kung bakit nagtatampo si
Franny. Suzy is the most clingy among us, kaya naman nakakapanibago.

"Wala nga, 'di ba?" Sarkastikong tumawa si Suzy. "Para naman wala kayong buhay at
sobrang interesado kayo sa ganap ng buhay ko!"

"Bwisit ka! Alam mo 'yon?! Kami na nga 'yung nagaalala sa'yo tapos ganyan pa trato
mo saamin?"

Pumagitna na ako sa kanilang dalawa para maiwasan ang tensyon na namumuo sa pagitan
nila. Napapatingin na rin ang iba naming kaklase sa lugar namin.

"Tama na 'yan. Nasa klase pa tayo. Magusap na lang tayo mamaya." Kalmadong saad ko.

"Walang paguusapan kasi wala naman talaga." Ani Suzette.

Umakmang mananabunot si Franny. "Ibalik mo kaibigan ko kung sino ka man espiritu na

sumanib sa katawan ni Suzette! Naloloka ako sa'yo! Ipapaalbularyo kitang bwisit
ka!"

Umirap si Suzette at padabog na nilisan ang laboratory. Hahabulin dapat siya ni

Franny nang pigilan ko.

"Hayaan mo muna," pigil ko. "kausapin na lang natin kapag handa na siya."

"Kailan, Arri? Kapag wala na talaga 'yung kaibigan natin?" bakas ang frustration sa
mukha ni Franny. "Arri, tingnan mo naman. Hindi ganun 'yung kaibigan natin."

"Anong gagawin natin—"

Mabigat ang bawat paghinga ni Franny. "Alam mo bakit ako ganito kagalit, ha?"

"Bakit?" Kumakalabog ang puso ko sa kaba.

"si Suzy..." Napapikit nang mariin si Franny. "Arri, hindi ko alam gagawin sa
kanya. Ayaw niya mag-kwento, ayaw niya mag-sabi o kahit nga lang kausapin tayo e.
Di naman tayo nag-aaral ng hulatology!"

"Kapag handa na 'yon, saka siya magsasabi. Kalma ka lang, Franny."

Kahit kay Franny ko 'yon sinabi ay pinapaulit-ulit ko rin 'yon sa sarili ko.
Kailangan ko kumalma dahil wala naman kasi talagang matinong usapan kapag parehong
galit ang naguusap.

Matapos ang klase ay dumiretso ako sa rooftop para puntahan si Adren. I didn't
confront Adren about Tatiana because she's obviously lying. Hindi naman ako
pinanganak kahapon para hindi malaman ang kagagahan niya.

"Are you okay?" tanong ni Adren at hinawi ang buhok na nasa mukha ko. "You look
stressed."

"Adren, palagi bang open sa'yo si Gio?"

I needed advice, kahit indirect man lang ay tatanggapin ko.

"No," he answered, truthfully. "But I don't mind, I have things I also don't tell
him."

"Hindi ka ba nakakaramdam ng pagtatampo?"

"I respect privacy the most, Arrisea. I think people would gradually open
themselves if they wanted to, but if they don't — I think respecting their decision
to do so is a must."

Bumuntong hininga ako. "Kahit kaibigan mo? Tapos may di sinasabi sa'yo? Okay lang?"

I wanted to know if I'm making the right decision.

"Why don't you try letting her know that you're ready to listen to her? May mga tao
kasing takot magsalita dahil baka di sila maintindihan o kaya takot sila sa
magiging reaksyon ng iba."

"Si Suzy kasi parang may problema. Ayaw magsalita."

Hinilig niya ang kanyang ulo sa aking braso. "Try making her feel that you won't
judge her after hearing what she's trying to hide from you, instead of saying that
you want her to talk — tell her that you're just there to listen. It's worth a
try."

"Thank you." I pouted like a kid. "Pwede ka na maging DJ sa mga radio."

He laughs. "Anything for you, Arri."

I was staring at Adren as I told him."I trust you and your words."

"I trust you too." He smiled genuinely.

Upon seeing his smile, I realized that a relationship doesn't need to be perfect —
it just needs to be strong.

Yet we were still young and we were still considered as weak. Gumapang ang
pagdududa sa puso ko. Can we really stay like this? Against all odds?

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"Suzy." Tawag ko sa kaibigan ko na mukhang balisa.

"Arri, uuwi na ako."

"Suzy, I'm hear to listen. Makikinig lang ako..." humugot ako nang malalim na
hininga.

“Wala nga —”

“Totoo nga. Gusto lang kitang kamustahin....” pinigilan ko siya sa akmang pag-alis.
She was trembling.

Pumungay ang mga mata ni Suzy. "Totoo ba? Hindi ka magagalit sa akin?"

"Hindi." Ngumiti ako. "Hindi rin ako magsasalita."

She looked at me, hesitation on her eyes.

Bumuntong hininga siya. "Evergreen garden."

Pumunta kami sa Evergreen garden. Itong lugar na 'to ang isa sa pinaka-peaceful na
loob ng UJD. Umupo kami sa isang concrete bench para magusap.

Hindi siya nagsalita. May inabot lang siyang phone sa akin. I look upon it, agad na
nakaramdam ako ng galit.

It was a GC named 'The S In Suzette Is For Slut' and there were a lot of girls
sending pictures of Suzette in her bikini pictures or revealing photos. Meron pa
nga 'yung mga pictures na umiinom si Suzy at may mga kasamang lalaki.
"What the hell!" Bulalas ko sa sobrang galit. "Suzette! Bakit..."

Nangingilid 'yung luha ni Suzette. "Simula nung bakasyon, araw-araw na nilang

pinapamukha na malandi ako. I didn't want to involve you guys. Wala naman kayong
ginawa e. Katangahan ko naman 'yon."

"Pero tinigilan mo na sila 'di ba?"

Tumango siya. "I blocked Luis— wait, hindi naman pala Luis pangalan niya. I don't
know, Pam calls him Oliver or Oli."

Napahilamos siya sa sarili niyang mukha. "I don't know anymore..."

"Leave the GC," sabi ko sa kanya. "Bakit mo tino-torture ang sarili mo?"

Lumandas ang mga luha sa mukha niya. "I can't..."

"Why?"

She scrolled up in the GC. Pinakita niya sa akin ang isang message galing kay
Pamela.

Pam:

Hi bitch.

Pamela sent a photo

Sapnu puas

Leave the GC and the whole world will see how much of a slut you are.

It was a picture of Suzette without her clothes on.

"You sent your..." bumaling ako kay Suzy at umiling-iling siya.

Nakita ko ang takot sa kanyang mga mata, her tears kept on cascading down her face.

"I don't remember that picture. I was probably unconscious or I don't know! Hindi
ko alam..."
Nanginginig ang kamay ko. How could these women do this kind of things? Parang
hindi sila babae! Kapwa nila babae ay binababa nila!

"Arri..." Umiiyak si Suzy. "What should I do?"

Mabigat ang pakiramdam ko. Parang pasan ko ang buong mundo dahil sa mga narinig ko
galing kay Suzy. As her friend, I couldn't swallow this.

"Ate Arrisea..."

My head tilted towards the direction where someone called me.

Etienne with his hands on his pocket was walking towards me. He was playing a
lollipop on his mouth. Umupo siya sa tabi ko at may inabot na lollipop.

"Gusto mo?"

Umiling ako pero binuksan na niya ito at sinalpak sa bibig ko. Muntik na akong
mabilaukan!

"Bakit ka nandito?" I asked through gritted teeth, even though a lollipop was on my
mouth.

"Nagaaral din kasi ako? Bakit ikaw lang ba pwede mag-aral dito?" he arched an
eyebrow.

"I mean, sa evergreen garden."

He smirked. "Our building is near."

He's from the STEM strand if that's the case.

"Anong problema niyo bukod sa mukha niyo?" he asked.

"Nananakit ako ng bata." I warned him and he laughs.

"Chill," Ngumisi siya. "Baka makatulong ako. Should I call Kuya Adren?"

"No—"

He already dialled through his phone.

"Kuya Adren! May problema si Ate Arrisea! Sa Evergreen garden!" he said in fake
horror then he hangs up while laughing.

A few minutes and Adren came running. Magulo ang buhok niya at nakakunot ang noo
niya nang makita kaming tatlo na ligtas lang na nakaupo, kulang na nga lang ng tsaa
at mga huni ng ibon dahil mukha lang kaming nagr-relax.

"What?" Adren asked in confusion. "I thought..."

"Siya sisihin mo." I sighed while pointing at Etienne who only waved his hand at
Adren.

Required ba maging weird kapag mayaman?

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 21 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Warning: read at your own risk.

TG// Suicide, sexual harrassment

Kabanata 21

Pumunta kami sa bahay nila Suzy para magusap, wala ang kanyang mga magulang kaya
malaya kaming tumambay sa sala. Tinawagan ko si Franny at Camisha, kahit busy sila
dahil meron silang mga gawain para sa school ay agad silang nagbigay oras para kay
Suzy.

Ilang ulit humingi ng sorry si Suzy sa dalawa. Hindi naman nagsalita ang dalawa at
niyakap lang nila si Suzy na agad naluha nang maramdaman ang maiinit nilang yakap.

Adren and Etienne came along with us. Medyo nauna kaming magkakaibigan dahil
mukhang may pinuntahan pa sila. Agad na hinawakan ni Adren ang kamay ko nang
tabihan niya ako sa sofa.

"We'll help, okay?" he assured.

Tumango naman ako. "Thank you."

Nagsimula magkwento si Suzy tungkol sa nangyari. She told us everything from the
beginning, pero isang misteryoso pa rin kung saan nakuha ang picture.

"Etienne, can you take a look at this?" tanong ni Adren at inabot ang phone ni
Suzy.
Etienne furrowed his eyebrows. "Kuya Adren, I'm underage. I'm not suppose to be
looking at nudes."

Adren scoffs. "Can you take a look at it and tell if this is considered as
cybercrime? We'll sue them if it is."

"Lagyan niyo muna ng damit o kaya emoticon. I won't look at it. My virgin eyes is
for my future wife only."

"Arte." Adren muttered under his breath. "Can you atleast just check it? Kahit
takpan mo na lang ng kamay mo 'yung bandang gitna?"

Etienne rolled his eyes as he reached for the phone.

"Whatever, I'll only take a peek," as Etienne took a peek from the phone, the side
of his lips rose up. "it's pixelated— Obviously an edited one."

Suzette let out a relieved sigh. Namumula pa rin ang gilid ng mga mata niya sa pag-
iyak at singhot pa rin siya nang singhot.

"Ibig sabihin? Hindi talagang nude niya 'yan?" Napaawang ang bibig ko.

"Yeah, I only took a peek on the sides of the picture and I knew it went through
some photoshop." Etienne sighs. "Geez, people can be so low."

"Napakalibog naman ng gumawa niyan!" Nanggagalaiti na singhal ni Franny.

"Ang sama! Asal di makatao!" Camisha added.

"Actually, some people do this to blackmail or tarnish a person's name. This is

actually common for some people." Etienne scroll through the conversation and a
smirk appeared on his face.

"Gagawa ng fake nudes?" Kumunot ang noo ko. Sobrang babaw! Kaya nilang gumawa ng
ganun?

"Yes, because this country is conservative and a picture like this could cause a
negative uproar from the people who personally don't know the person. Sad 'no?"
Ngumuso si Etienne.

"It's their body though, it's their choices. Hindi naman sila kasama nung ginawa si
Suzette—" Adren retorted then realized he said something weird.
Hanimal, nahahawa na sa akin si Adren.

Agad siyang bumawi. "I mean, they don't have any say in Suzette's life because they
have no part in it. Also, it's her life so she's the only one who can make her
decisions."

Etienne claps his hands in a slow manner. "Wow, is that Ate Arri's influence? If
this was the old Kuya Adren, he'll say humans do not deserve to live at all."

Adren's mouth formed a scowl. He obviously didn't like Etienne. Pero bakit kaya
siya nagpapakunsulta rito?

"Anyway, deepfakes are easily made nowadays. A fake nude is as easy as creating a
collage picture in PiZap." Pagpapatuloy ni Etienne.

May kinakalikot siya sa cellphone ni Suzy. Ngumisi siya nang tumunog ang cellphone
niya — it wasn't an android or an Iphone. It was an unfamiliar brand and he also
has another old looking phone on his other hand.

“Here's the real photo,” Etienne showed us the picture. Gayang-gaya ito nung nude
picture pero may damit si Suzy. “Bobo naman nilang maghanap ng picture. You
probably deleted this already but someone had a copy of it.”

“You retrieve it?” tanong ni Adren.

“Just trace the location of where the photo came from,” sagot ni Etienne. He was
smirking while raising the phone.

"Hey, guess what? I have the real deal." Ngumisi si Etienne at inabot 'yung lumang
cellphone kay Suzy.

Suzy hesitated at first but eventually reach for the phone. Nanglalaki ang mga mata
niya nang makita kung ano ito. Her hand flew into her mouth.

"Ano 'yan, Suzy?" hindi ko mapigilan ang tumingin sa screen nito.

Nagitla ako sa aking nasaksihan.

It was a scandal. A sexual one.

Luis and Pamela was on a room that looks like the cheap ones you rent on. They're
doing...
Hanimal.

Lumingon ako kay Etienne habang bagsak ang panga dahil hindi ako makapaniwala. How
did he even find a video like that?!

Suzette stopped the video before it gets worst. Hindi na namin pinagpatuloy, ang
nakita lang namin ay magkasama ang dalawa at mukhang may binabalak.

Sino ba 'tong Etienne na 'to?!

Etienne was cracking his fingers. "No worries, that phone is actually disposable.
They can't trace you and it's connected to a VPN so your IP Address won't show."

"How did you?" Adren's eyes turned into slits. "Is this what your company is up
to?"

"Well, Luis or Oliver Luis Rosales is stupid enough to leave his details on his
account and save numerous scandals on his phone." Etienne shrugged, like it was
nothing. "It's prolly one of the easiest if not the easiest device I've hacked."

“Videos?” nanglalaki ang mga mata ko.

“I didn't watch any of it though, I just think Suzette should see this one...” he
boredly said. “You're not the only victim, Oliver probably had those videos to use
against the girls in case they don't follow his whims.”

“Buti na lang nauntog ka na bago ka pa niya nagawan ng gano'n!” Franny exclaimed.

“Kawawa naman 'yung mga binibiktima niya.”

“I could try to hack it again and delete those videos,” suhestiyon ni Etienne.
Nangliit naman ang mga mata ko, wala akong nakikitang mali sa pag-delete pero
kanina pa siya hack nang hack?

"That's illegal!" sita ko kay Etienne. He only smiled coyly at me.

"I'm still a minor, Ate. I still need some guidance and nurturing." He scrunched
his nose and rested his chin on his palm.

Kumunot ang noo ko sa kanyang sinabi. Ano ang ibig niyang sabihin?

"Arri," Umiling-iling si Adren. "He can't go to jail because he's technically still
a juvenile and also he's rich — you know how the law works here."

Hindi ako makapaniwala. How could a kid like him think of things like this? Alam
kong halos isang taon lang ang tanda namin sa kanya pero sobra siya sa pagiging
advance mag-isip!

"I mean he does have a point—" Adren looks at me as I glare him. Agad siyang
napakamot sa ulo. "Etienne, that's bad. Bilang Kuya figure mo, you shouldn't act
like that."

"Pakitang tao." Etienne showed his middle finger at Adren who frowned at him.

Lahat kami ngayon ay nakatingin kay Suzy. Franny looks conflicted and Camisha looks
as white as sheet. Hindi rin siguro alam ang dapat sabihin kay Suzy.

"I can't..." she said, her body is trembling as she shakes her head.

Umangat ang tingin niya sa'min at kahit halos mahirapan siya dahil sa kanyang
napapaos na boses ay agad niyang sinabi ang nasa isip niya.

"I won't post it."

Nabunutan kami ng tinik sa puso. I know Suzy wouldn't do it. She was just too kind.

Etienne murmured and rolled his eyes. "Boring."

Agad siyang siniko ni Adren at nagtaas ng kilay si Etienne sa kanya.

"I know the feeling of being judge because of how sexual you act. I know the
tension of their lingering stares whenever I walk...and I know the voices that
tells you...you're a filthy person because of what you did..." kinakapos siya sa
paghinga habang nakatitig sa cellphone.

"I can't do this to them. Kahit pa sabihin na natin na binaboy nila ang pagkatao ko
sa isang fake nude....ayokong gumanti. Babae rin ako," she swallowed some air.
"Alam ko kung paano tingnan ng mga tao ang mga babae kapag ganito. As if, it's all
their fault but the man can easily get away from it...unlike from the woman who
will be scarred for their life..."

I can feel the tightness in my chest because I know where she's coming from. We
live in a society where they are pitting women against women.

That honestly sucks. Kapag may scandal na lumabas, ang unang pinupuntirya ay 'yung
babae. Ang dumi ng tingin sa babae pero pinupuri pa 'yung lalaki.

I balled my fist.
Ilang scandals na ba ang kumalat sa mundo pero ang sisi palagi ay sa babae? Bakit
ka kasi pumayag? Bakit di mo pinigilan? Bakit kasi ginawa niyo 'yon? Bakit kasi ang
aga mong lumandi?

The worst part, some of those who question this are also women. Wala naman tayong
magagawa roon, it was the norm for most of them before, to be conservative and to
appear pure in the face of society.

But who are they to chastise those who wants to be free from the status quo?

Just because someone chooses a different path doesn't mean they're already in the
wrong way.

I laughed dryly.

Salamat, EAPP. I'm confidently beautiful in English.

"I think, we could just press charges. We have solid proof that they were
blackmailing you." Adren says, pero parang hindi bukal sa puso niya.

“I contacted a lawyer. There are laws that could put them on jail because of what
they did. Anti voyeurism act, cyber libel are the few that we can file against
them...” Adren puts his hands on my waist, offering comfort.

Is he actually thinking that Etienne's way is better? It was twisted.

Mas maganda nga na magsampa na lamang ng kaso para matigil na ito. They were
harrassing Suzy, even if it's only online. Cybercrime nga ito kung sakali.

"Siguro..." tumango-tango si Suzette, she still looks fragile.

I hugged Suzy and she returned it. I could feel how vulnerable she is right now.
Nanginginig ang kanyang braso habanag nakayakap sa akin. I kissed the top of her
head as I console her. I thought we'll get through this.

Pero kinabukasan ay nawindang ang buong TVL strand dahil sa isang litratong
kumakalat.

Kumaripas ako ng takbo papunta sa classroom nang makita ang picture na sinend nila
sa groupchat namin. It was the edited picture and it was spreading.

The photo was circulating in our strand. In our room, specifically.

"What the hell is wrong with all of you? Kaklase natin 'yan! Pinagpipiyestahan
niyo!" Zyair growled in frustration who didn't even look at the picture. He refuses
to.

“Zyair! Parang di ka naman lalaki! Tingnan mo lang para mabago ang buhay mo! Ikaw
din baka tumanda kang binata!” a guy classmate had the audacity to show it infront
of me as he give the phone to Zyair.

Zyair grimaced and averted his gaze somewhere else. He massaged the bridge of his
nose before commenting. “Kadiri kayo. Kung ganyan lang din ang batayan ng pagiging
lalaki niyo, mas gugustuhin ko na lang maging tao na lang at wala ng kasarian mga
basura kayo.”

The guy classmate took this as an offense and the two of them almost had a fist
fight. Ako naman ay hinahanap si Suzy at si Franny sa mga nagkukumpulan na mga tao.

"That's fake! That's edited!" Hysterical na sigaw ni Franny. "Tigilan niyo ang
pagiging malibog niyo!"

"Sus, ang laki pala nung kay Suzy!"

"Yuck, bakit kasi gagawa ng nudes tapos kapag kumalat biglang magtatago?"

"Pang pornstar pala katawan nito e!"

"Ang bata bata pa kasi pero malandi na! Nakakahiya si Suzy!"

"Di na lang kasi mag-aral, inuuna landi niya."

Mapa babae o lalaki, lahat sila ay puro pangungutya ang lumalabas sa bibig. The
most heartbreaking part? Once in their life, Suzy made them laugh, she comforted
them when their grades were low, she treated them as friends and she was there when
they needed her the most.

Tapos ganito igaganti nila kay Suzy? Nasaan sila ngayon? Imbis na tulungan nila si
Suzy...

My heart was aching as I saw them feasting on the fake pictures. They were wearing
smiles on their faces. Para bang hindi ito magdudulot ng kasawian ng isang tao.
Para bang hindi ito magiging pagdurusa ng taong kilala nila.

Pumunta ako sa harap ng klase namin. I harshly slammed our whiteboard. Ilang beses
ko itong pinukpok hanggang sa mamaga ang kamay ko. All of their attention was on
me.

"Una sa lahat, tangina niyong lahat." Nanggagalaiti kong singhal. "Akala niyo ang
linis niyo 'no? Janitress o janitor ba kayo? Galing niyo maglinis e. Ano labasan
tayo ng baho? Gusto niyo?"

I pointed towards the guy who was picking a fight with Zyair. Agad naman siyang
lumingon sa akin habang matapang ang kanyang mukha.

"Hoy Seb! Nung wala kang pera para pambayad sa mga ingredients niyo sa groupings?
Sino nagambag para sa'yo? Di ba si Suzy?

He turned his attention away. I laughed bitterly as I point another one who shamed
Suzy just because of the fake nudes.

"Ikaw Nathalie! Nung niloloko ka ng boyfriend mo? Sino sumugod para awayin 'yung
boyfriend mo? Si Suzy 'di ba?

"Lahat kayo nakinabang kay Suzy tapos ngayon ganto trato niyo?"

Tumahimik silang lahat. Ramdam ang tension sa apat na sulok ng classroom namin
ngayon.

Kumakalabog ang puso ko sa galit. Gusto ko silang saktan isa-isa. Sampalin ng

katotohanan na mga wala silang utang na loob. Pero hindi, dapat silang lamunin ng
konsensya nila. Hindi ako papayag na iisipin nilang okay na dahil nasaktan na sila,
dapat silang bangungutin ng konsensya nila habang buhay.

"Kapag may nangyari kay Suzette..." nanginginig ako habang dinuduro sila. "Tandaan
niyong lahat, kayo ang pumatay sa kanya. May bahid ng dugo ang mga kamay niyo."

I didn't want any harm to Suzy but this is too much. Paano kung may maisip si Suzy
na gawin ngayon? We don't even know where she is...

May mga napatingin sa mga cellphone nila at 'yung iba naman ay yumuko na lang.

"Arri..." Naiiyak na si Franny. "Si Suzy...Hindi raw sumasagot..."

Halos tumigil ang mundo ko sa pagikot. Ang mga kaklase ko ay nagitla rin at hindi
makagalaw.

Pinindot ni Franny ang loud speaker ng kanyang cellphone.

"Mga a-anak, may nangyari b-ba kay Suzy? Ayaw niya kasing lumabas ng k-kwarto e. K-
kanina pa siya —" there was a pause and a loud crash was made in the background.

"Suzy! Suzy! Anak! Suzy! Bakit mo naman ginawa 'to?! Suzy, gumising ka
naman...Nandito na si Mama...Ethan! Tumawag ka ng ambulansya!" The hysterical cry
of her Mom can be heard.

I was frozen on the spot.

"Suzy...huwag mo naman iwan si Mama...Kailangan pa kita..."

Nanginginig ako habang lumalandas ang mga luha galing sa mata ko.

Agad akong lumabas para hanapin si Etienne. Damn them! Akala ba nila ay sila lang
ang may hawak na alas? I'll show them! I'll fucking show them! Pumunta ako sa STEM
building kahit mukha akong tanga dahil namamaga ang mga mata ko sa sobrang pagiyak.

Bakit kailangan nila saktan 'yung mga taong mahalaga sa'kin? Why did they have to
resort to this? Ano bang ginawa sa kanila ni Suzy?

"Nandito ba si Etienne?" malamig na tanong ko sa isang estudyante sa STEM 1 ng

grade 11.

The student nodded.

"Etienne..." may tumawag sa kanya.

Etienne was there, sitting comfortably with his chin resting on his palm. He looks
bored. Nang makita niya ako ay agad siyang ngumisi.

I signal him to follow me. We went to evergreen garden to talk. Saktong walang
masyadong tao dahil malapit na mag-start ang next period.

He sat down beside me and he crosses his legs. Inabot niya sa'kin 'yung lumang
cellphone na binigay niya noon kay Suzette.

Kinuha ko naman ito. The fury inside me is slowly calming down. I opened it and
show that the video was still there. I imagined them being distress because this
video will always circulate not only on their college department but around the
world if possible.

In one click, I could also ruin their lives just like how they did to Suzette's.

In a click, they will feel the pain that she felt.

Pipindutin ko na sana ang share button nang hawakan ako ni Etienne sa kamay.
"Why will you do that?" kalmanteng tanong ni Etienne. Bumaling ako sa kanya ng
tingin.

"Are you doing that because you love your dear friend?"

I couldn't find the right words to describe how I feel but I'm doing this for
Suzette.

"I thought..." Etienne looks up in the sky as he was swinging his legs. "Love is
always good?"

The sarcasm was dripping in his note. I licked my lower lip and sighed.

"Love is..." hindi ko matuloy.

"Love makes you do bad things, huh? Ganun pala ang love, Ate Arri?" he tilted his
head. "Love is full of crap, then."

I wasn't able to move. Nakatitig lang ako sa screen ng lumang cellphone na hawak
ko. I don't know, should I stand with my principles and let them get away with it?
Or should I just forget about how love is good and sabotage their lives?

My cellphone vibrated.

Tiningnan ko ito. Parang binuhasan ng malamig na tubig ang nagbabaga kong galit.

Adren:

I love you. Everyday.

We'll get the best lawyers. They're not minors anymore. They'll go to jail.

Okay?

Saan ka?

Let's talk first.

We'll talk to Suzy too.

Napapikit ako habang nagpapakawala ng isang malalim na buntong hininga. I just want
them to face what they did. I wanted them to feel the same pain. Pero ano ang
pinagkaiba ko kay Adren na pilit kong binabago kung ganito rin pala ang iniisip ko?

I still don't know. The only thing I know is I'm a hypocrite.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 22 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Warning: read at your own risk. Brief mention of sexual acts.

Kabanata 22

After class, I immediately went to the Medical Center where Suzy is currently
admitted. Ang sabi ni Tita Susan ay naglaslas daw si Suzette.

She fortunately survived despite of the blood loss. Halos tuliro ako habang
hinahanap ang room number niya.

When I was infront of her room. Pinihit ko ang pinto upang buksan ito. Franny and
Camisha was already there. Pinapakain nila si Suzy na ang tingin lang ay nasa
pader. She wasn't speaking to them.

"Masarap 'to, Suzy. Nagpaluto talaga ako kay Mama ng paborito mo." Ani Camisha
habang hinihipan ang sabaw ng sinigang na nakalagay sa isang tupperware.

"Suzy, gusto mo ba manood ng vlog ni Mila Angeles? May bago siyang upload!" Anyaya
ni Franny at pinapakita ang kanyang cellphone.

Suzette was there yet she acts like she's already lifeless. Hindi kumikibo at
tulala lang. Nalaglag ni Camisha 'yung hawak niyang kutsara, agad siyang umalis
para palitan ito. Franny hides his phone when he noticed that Suzy isn't
interested.

"Hey." Adren came right after me. Kasunod ko lamang siya dahil dumaan muna siya sa
bilihan ng mga prutas.

Tumingin muna siya sa akin at binigyan ako ng tipid na ngiti. I couldn't smile
back. I still feel numb from everything. Dumalo siya kaagad kay Suzy.

"Suzy, we already called and informed the authorities about it. The school
administration will also put action towards it. They may face expulsion and it will
affect their records." Adren explained.

"The p-picture?" tanong ni Suzy.

"Etienne said that the picture only circulated in our strand. Hindi pa raw talaga
kumakalat," sagot ko. Thank goodness the pictures didn't reach the internet yet,
because once it's there — it's there forever.

"Kakalat din 'yon..." Suzy smiled bitterly.

I gulped. "Etienne made...he did something to solve it. Wala na 'yung picture."

Suzy looks up to me. Kahit may duda sa kanyang mga mata, she asked me. "How sure?"

"Etienne is the successor to EIJE. The company that focuses on advance technology
and is currently the number one IT firm in our country." Adren sighed."Mayabang si
Etienne, but he sure has the right to be boastful."

When I couldn't make up my mind, Etienne offered a solution. He told me that he'll
hack every gadgets in the vicinity of the TVL building. He deleted every copy of
Suzette's fake nude and replaced it with a warning that a fake virus has entered
their gadgets. He was constantly rolling his eyes whenever he see something on
their gadgets though.

Etienne had an innate talent for hacking. Iba ang level ng talino niya kumpara sa
amin, he was just beyond what we can comprehend. Kaya tulad ni Adren no'ng una, I
cannot read him well.

Pwede naman daw itong i-handle ng mga nasa cybercrime kaso baka mas kumalat pa ang
isyu dahil mas malawak ang mga hahawak nito. Kaya naman si Etienne na ang sumalo ng
paglilinis ng pagkalat ng fake nude.

Humugot ako nang malalim na hininga bago ito pinakawalan din.

I didn't post the scandal.

Wala sa akin ang desisyon. Kahit dito man lang, gusto ko pigilan ang sarili ko na
maging taliwas sa aking paniniwala.

Galit na galit ako sa ginawa nila at kung gagayahin ko ito dahil gusto ko lang
gumanti, what makes me different from the people that I hate? From the act that I
despised? Pinapatunayan lang nito na isa akong hipokrita.

"I'm sorry..." yumuko si Suzette. "Pagod na talaga ako. Matagal na kasi akong
nagtitiis e. Alam kong mali ang ginawa ko...pero 'yun lang 'yung nakita kong paraan
para mawala 'yung sakit e."

My heart sank at her statement.

Bakit ganito ang mga tao? They will push someone at their edge where the only
solution to end their pain is to end their life...

Ang lungkot.

Parang ang lungkot naman mabuhay kung gano'n.

"Suzy, take a rest." Ngumiti ako sa kanya at hinimas-himas ang kanyang braso.
"Nandito lang kami, okay?"

Tumango siya at nagbigay ng ngiti kahit bakas sa kanyang mukha ang pait ng
nararanasan niya.

I clenched my fist. She'll be fine.

I know it's a process but I also know Suzy will move on from this. Just like a
wound, little by little, it will heal itself. It may leave a scar, but it will also
be a constant reminder that you went through the darkness yet you still found the
light at the end of it all.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"Can we talk to Suzette?"

Kanina pa ako hinihintay ni Pamela sa labas ng classroom namin. Ngayon na break

time lang siya nagkaroon ng pagkakataon na kausapin ako. Suzy is still recovering
and she's advised to take some rest before going back to school.

"Anong paguusapan niyo? Kung paano gumawa ng fake nude?" Sarkastikong tanong ko at
nagtaas ng kilay.

"I just want to apologize..."

"Sure! Para hindi na kayo mapatalsik sa school! Let's forgive and forget." I
smiled.

"R-right?" she smiled back.

Nalaglag ang ngiti ko. "No. You have to face the consequences of your action."

"Sobra naman 'yata ang pagtanggal sa amin sa school!" She hollered.

“Sobra rin naman 'yata na gawan niyo siya ng fake nude at ipagkalat ito para lang
takutin siya,” asik ko sa kanya.

"Malandi naman kasi talaga siya! She deserved it!" histerikal niyang sigaw.

"Bobo ka rin naman talaga, and you deserve it." Utas ko.

Nakakalungkot lang na may mga tao talagang hindi dinadalaw ng konsensiya nila. May
mga tao na hindi nakikita ang ginagawa nilang mali, ang kaya lang nila ay punahin
ang maling nagawa ng kapwa nila.

Pinigilan niya akong umalis, marahas niyang hinila ang aking braso upang humarap
ako sa kanya.

"Nakakalimutan mo 'yata na nasa akin pa ang picture? Kayang-kaya ko ulit ipagkalat

'yon! She should be thankful I only sent it to one of your classmates!"

I laughed at her. Sinabayan ko pa ito ng palakpak sa mabagal na paraan.

"Alam mo ba? Bakit kaya si Suzy ang pinagiinitan mo? She's a victim too. At saka,
akala mo naman si Adonis 'yang si kikiam boy."

"Kikiam boy?" panguulit niya.

"Oo, napanood ko 'yung movie niyo. Grabe, 'yun na 'yon? Ang galing mo ngang
umacting e. Isipin mo kasing liit lang naman ng kikiam 'yung—" tumigil na ako nang
makita ko siyang namumula. I didn't really watch it, pero mukha ngang umaakto lang
siyang nagugustuhan kahit di naman niya talaga naramdaman.

I wanted her to know that I also have something in my sleeves. Alam ko sa paraan na
ito lang siya titigil. Ganun naman talaga ang tao, titigil lang kapag baho na nila
ang ilalabas. Ngumisi ako sa kanya at tinapik-tapik siya sa kanyang pisngi.

"Fake lang 'yung hawak mo, pero 'yung nasa akin? Parang alam naman natin kung totoo
'yon o hindi."

Natigalgal siya sa kanyang kinatatayuan. Iniwan ko na si Pamela roon.

I don't want to waste my time on her anymore.

Sa korte na lang siguro sila maghaharap. May mga nakapatong na kaso para sa kanila.
They will have to face the consequences of their filthy actions. Hindi man nila
mararanasan ang nangyari kay Suzy, mas matindi naman ang presinto na magiging
tahanan nila upang pagsisihan ang pangyayari.
Pumunta na ako sa rooftop. Adren was already there and this time, he was the one
who prepared the meals.

Umawang ang labi ko nang makita ang set up na ginawa niya. Parang picnic ito pero
japanese cuisine ang mga pagkain dahil nakalagay pa ito sa mga itim na box. I
huffed, ang yabang! Di naman niya luto.

Sorry naman kung hanggang tupperware lang ang afford ko, ha? Hiyang-hiya ako sa'yo,
Adren!

"Ano 'to?" tinuro ko 'yung parang bilog na kanin na may palaman. "Sushi?"

"California Maki," sagot ni Adren at sinubuan ako gamit ng chopsticks niya.

Hindi kasi ako marunong gumamit no'n. Kaya sinusubuan na lang niya ako. Pero 'yung
iba ay ginagamitan ko na lamang ng tinidor or kutsara. Trip lang talaga ni Adren na
subuan ako.

Habang kumakain kami ay tumunog ang cellphone ko. It was Cristyl, a friend who is
part of the cheerleading squad here in UJD. Nagyayaya siya manood ng UCBL. Hindi
naman talaga kami mahilig sa basketball, sa basketball players baka pwede pa.

"Nood tayo ng UCBL, maghanap tayo ng mga pogi—" natigilan ako nang ma-realize ko na
si Adren nga pala kausap ko.

Sobrang lutang ko dahil akala ko si Cristyl ang kausap ko ngayon! I was supposed to
just type that! It was supposed to be just a joke!

Adren scoffs at me. "Wow, fronstabbing ba tawag dito?"

"Sorry na, joke lang 'yon."

"Okay lang, I'll text anyone in my phone and date them."

Tumawa lang ako sa kanya. "Wala ka namang number sa phone mo bukod sa akin!"

Nakita ko ang pagkaroon ng yupi sa kanyang noo. A smug smirk was plastered on my
lips.

"I have Tatiana's."

Nawala ang ngiti ko sa labi. Bigla akong natahimik at tiningnan si Adren sa mga
mata. A deafening silence erupted between the two of us. Adren was only looking at
me with curiosity.

He laughs. "Sabi niya, she wanted to surprised you on your birthday. I only gave my
number so that I could know when your birthday is. Ayaw mo kasi sabihin e. Nagselos
ka ba?"

I rolled my eyes. Ginamit pa nga akong rason para makuha ang number ni Adren, that
Tatiana! Mabuti na lang talaga at wala na siya sa buhay ko.

Sinapak ko nga siya. "I-delete mo number nung tatingina na 'yon!"

"Chill, I'll delete it." Nilabas niya ang phone niya at agad ko itong hinablot.

Tiningnan ko ang text log nung dalawa. Ang daldal ni Tatingina pero puro smiley
lang 'yung reply ni Adren. Adren only replied to her thrice.

Nasaan na 'yung mga nakakakilig kuno na mga texts? I knew she made it up!

Nanggagalaiti ako habang dini-delete ang number ni Tatingina sa phone ni Adren. I

even blocked her! Sa sobrang inis ko sa kanya.

Adren laughs at me, amused by the fact I'm fuming angry right now. Ginulo-gulo ko
ang buhok ko sa sobrang inis kay Tatingina.

“You hate her that much? Akala ko ba hindi ka nagseselos? Is she prettier than
you?”

"Ulol!" I pointed my middle finger at him.

Mas maganda ako roon, mula ulo hanggang paa.

“I beg to disagree though, I think you're the prettiest...” paglalambing ni Adren.

He leans forward to me. I was caught off guard. He was eyeing my neck as a smirk
appeared on his face.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, having an innocent smile plastered on his lips.

“Duh —”

Siniksik niya 'yung mukha niya sa aking leeg. He was slowly trailing kisses on my
collarbone. My eyes widened at how wild he's acting right now. Ito ba 'yung mga
natututunan niya sa akin?
Ang tapang nito nasa school pa naman kami! Pero sino ba naman ako para magpatalo? I
smirked and whispered to his ears.

"Everytime someone gets jealous, let's leave a mark on their necks. What do you
think?"

Bigla siyang namula at agad na umiling. Umiwas siya sa akin ng tingin. Tinigil niya
ang ginagawa niya kaya naman agad akong umirap.

“Let's do something else...” he decided to lean again to whisper something to me.

Uminit ang mga pisngi ko. Kahit alam ko naman na talo ako ay agad akong tumango. I
always wanted to try it! Gosh, level up na kami!

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"Arrisea!" Tawag ni Gio sa akin.

"Sup, Gio?" Binati ko siya pabalik.

He was with Zafirah who was smiling at me. Bigla ko tuloy naalala 'yung kaklase
nung Sarathiel. I saw them once in Bonanza area. The girl was a little too close to
Sarathiel. Ewan ko, pero kung ako 'yung jowa no'n? Baka kanina pa tumambling 'yung
babae paalis.

"Anong ginagawa niyo sa coliseum?" tanong ni Gio.

"Manonood kami ng UCBL, susuportahan lang namin si Cristyl sa panglalandi niya sa

mga college." Tumawa ako.

Gio grimaced. "Ikaw susumbong kita! Bakit ba ganyan trip niyo sa isa't-isa?"

Ngumisi ako. "Bet ko 'yan! Sumbong mo, send ko sa'yo mga pictures ko kasama ng
iba't-ibang bastketball player."

Ang landi-landi ko po pero kay Adren lang naman. Siguro naman okay lang 'yon? Landi
responsibly?

Nakatingin lang sa amin si Zafirah, she looks confused. Bakit kaya?

Gio laughed. "Ayoko baka ako 'yung mapatalsik sa school kapag ginawa ko 'yon."
Oh, he knows. Grabe, ano kaya 'yung sikreto nito ni Gio? He almost knows
everything.

Dinuro ko si Zafirah. "Ito girlfriend ni Sarathiel?"

"Yup!" Gio answered.

"Shet ka girl, nilalandi ng iba 'yung boyfriend mo huwag ka papakabog." I told her
and she widen her eyes.

"H-ha?"

"Sis, iba tumingin si Czanne sa jowa mo. Baka nga kung ako Prof nila sa PracRe,
iisipin ko ang background of the study nila Czanne ay behind the scenes na
panglalandi niya sa jowa mo."

"You're being malicious." Umiling siya. "May tiwala ako kay Sath."

"Yeah right. May tiwala ka kay Sath, kay Czang baliw meron ba?"

She couldn't answer me and only looks down. I feel bad, hindi ko na lang sana
sinabi. I didn't want her to overthink but I want her to take caution.

Gio laughs as he wraps his arm around my shoulder. He leans forward to whisper.

"You have a hickey on your neck." he lowers his voice, para bang tawa lang ito sa
iba pero iba ang sinabi niya saakin.

It was my turn to laugh. Impit ang aking tawa at halatang pilit lamang.

"Saan?" I asked in a low tone, still laughing.

Gio laughs, his eyes turning to slits as he was trying to contain his laughter.

He encircled an area on the side of my neck. Napasapo ako sa aking noo habang pilit
na tumatawa, gago ka talaga Adren! Ang sabi ko sa tagong lugar lang!

I'm not sure if it's really a hickey. We're not there yet, it was probably his way
of teasing me. We were trying to find our ticklish spots using kisses but I fell
asleep when it was his turn. Medyo pagod pa kasi ako dahil nagbantay din ako kay
Suzy sa hospital.
"Zafi! Una ka na, sasamahan ko lang si Arri saglit." Paalam ni Gio.

Zafirah nodded her head and smiled despite of her sour mood. Nang makaalis si
Zafirah ay agad na natigil ang pekeng tawa ko.

"Kagat lang 'to ng lamok."

Gio shrugged. "Sana all, kinakagat ng lamok."

In my frustration, natawag ko siya sa bansag sa kanya. "Gagio ka!"

He bit his lower lip to supressed his laugh. "Kung ganyan lang din ang kagat ng
lamok, parang gusto ko na lang magka-dengue."

Hinilamos ko ang mukha ko sa mga kamay ko. "Paano na 'to?"

"Punta ka muna sa CR. Manghihiram ako ng concealer, saglit lang."

Gio fixed my hair so that the hickey would not be visible. "Ganyan na muna, para
hindi halata. Maikli kasi buhok mo e."

"Thank you," saad ko. Ngumiti lang sa'kin si Gio.

I went to the restroom and waited for Gio. I was pacing back and forth as I look in
the mirror. Walang tao sa restroom, buti na lang. Agad naman na dumating si Gio na
may dalang concealer na pareho sa skintone ko.

Tiningnan ko ito sa salamin at kinapa, it isn't a hickey. Mukha lang itong kinagat
dahil medyo namumula pero base sa mga kilala kong nabibigyan na ng mga ganito, it's
definitely not that kind of mark. Hanimal! Akala ko nabigyan talaga ako!

That freaking tease, I bit my lower lip. it was probably the water trick that I
told him before, na-kwento ko sa kanya noon na may pinagtripan si Suzy gamit ng
isang water bottle para may gumawa ng isang pekeng hickey. Bwisit!

"Salamat, Gio." I sighed, binuksan ko ang lid ng concealer para takpan 'yung marka
at hindi na lang din masyado mapansin ng iba.

"Ang wild niyo." Bumuntong hininga si Gio at pumikit. "Gusto ko dumaan sa chapel
mamaya. Baka gusto mo rin?"

I gulped. Sorry, Gio.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 23 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 23

Nang bumalik si Suzette sa school ay para bang hindi nag-exist ang pekeng nude
picture niya. Para ba itong nabura sa mundo. Hindi ko alam kung paano pero
nagpapasalamat na lang din ako na hindi lumaki ang butas na ginawa nila Pamela at
Luis. I heard they got expelled and Tita Susan filed charges against them. Suzette
refuses to talk and make amends with the both of them too.

Tinulungan ni Adren si Tita Susan sa pagaasikaso ng mga isasampang kaso sa kanila.

Nakikipag-areglo ang kampo nila Pamela at Luis pero hindi ito pinapansin ni Tita at
Suzy.

Kahit sino naman 'yata sa posisyon ni Suzette ay hindi masisikmura na patawarin

sila kung hindi naman totoo ang hinihingi nilang kapatawaran.

It made me realized that some people can easily apologize even if they don't really
regret what they've done. Para bang ginagamit lang nilang basahan bilang pampunas
ng kanilang dumi ang paghingi ng kapatawaran.

"Ah sh—" nabitawan ko 'yung frying pan dahil dumapo sa akin ang baga ng apoy. Agad
na lumapit sa akin si Zyair na may dalang bowl na may lamang yelo.

"Anong nangyari sa'yo?"

"Napaso lang." My hand was swollen and red. Hinipan-hipan ko ito.

"Punta ka sa clinic," ani Zyair habang inaayos ang mga sangkap sa harapan namin.

I clicked my tongue. "Malayo sa bituka."

Nilubog ko ang kamay ko sa bowl na may yelo na binigay ni Zyair.

"Hays, dapat kasi nag-TVL na lang tayo para luto-luto lang. Ang hirap maging ABM!
Puro na lang tayo balance!"

Pagpaparinig nung isang estudyante na dumaan sa laboratory namin. Tumawa naman ang
mga kasamahan niya. Napalingon kami ni Zyair sa kanila at sabay na bumuntong
hininga.

"Baka may mahampas ako ng nagbabagang frying pan." I said as I was shaking my hand
to get rid of the water from the ice.

Naningkit naman ang mga mata ni Zyair. "Nakalimutan 'yata nilang nagaaral tayo ng
iba't ibang uri ng kutsilyo."

Nagkatinginan kami ni Zyair at tumawa na lang. I know, it's hard to change

someone's perspective of things, lalo na kung naging norm na ito para sa kanila.
Just because it's your belief, it doesn't mean others would easily accept it.

You are not obligated to accept their opinions as much as they're not obligated to
accept yours. It's a tough choice to live a life where you need to constantly
remind yourself of your own worth rather than how the world perceived you to be.

But that's how you should live your life. You are the one that controls the flow of
it, don't let anyone tell you how it should be.

The norm of discriminating someone's strand will only stop if only you'll show them
the worth of your dreams. Hindi ito TVL lang. Hindi ito luto-luto lang. It is more
than that, it is more than what meets the eyes.

Matapos ang mga klase ko ay dumiretso ako kay Adren sa kanilang building. Pawisan
ako at medyo magulo ang buhok dahil ang daming activities na tinapos namin sa isang
araw. Kaya naman kung marunong lang ng time management, hindi naman kailangan
palaging perpekto ang kalalabasan ng gawain.

Kaya ka nga nag-aaral para matuto. Hindi para magmarunong.

"Bakit ka nandito?" Sinalubong ako ni Lulia, may bahid ng inis ang kanyang tono.
Nakataas ang kanyang kilay at minamata ako.

May kasama siyang lalaki na masama rin ang titig sa akin. Sino naman 'to?

"Pupuntahan ko boyfriend ko, bakit?" maarteng balik ko ng tanong.

Her nostrils flared up and anger was evident in her eyes. "Hanggang ngayon ay
ilusyunada ka pa rin!"

"Hindi kami magkamukha ng pinsan mo, baliw!" I fired back.

Di hamak na mas maganda naman ako sa paslit na 'yon! Siya si Snow White pero
nalason na pati utak niya kaya grabe na lang sa pagbubuo ng sarili niyang ilusyon.

"Adren broke her heart because of you. Hindi mo alam ang nangyari kay Tatiana dahil
sa ginawa mo." Paratang saakin nung lalaki. "She's suffering because of you! Dapat
lang malaman ng lahat na malandi ka!"
Sa lakas ng kanyang boses ay napapatingin ang iba pang estudyante galing sa strand
nila sa dako namin. Puno ng panghuhusga ang kanilang mga mata at ang iba ay
nagsisimula na magbulungan na parang mga bubuyog.

"Malandi ka!" Tinulak ako nung lalaki. "Malandi!"

"Ano ba!"

Marahas niya akong tinulak hanggang sa matumba ako. Ramdam ko ang hapdi ng aking
likod dahil sa pagkatumba. Tatayo na sana ako nang bigla niya akong tadyakan sa
mukha. The impact made my vision turned to blur. Inulit niya pa ito nang inulit.

Nang inulit.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"Arri..."

Hindi ko maramdaman ang mukha ko sa sobrang pamamaga. Halos magkulay ube ang aking
mukha dahil sa mga natamo kong pasa galing sa pagsipa sa akin.

"Anong pangalan?" may malamig na tono akong narinig.

I can't see anything, only pure white and the blankness that surrounds it.

"Karl Golez, apparently Tatiana's current boyfriend or feeling boyfriend? Secret on

'yata. Oh look, his parents works for your company." Someone chuckles. "Look at his
fucking bio!Siya raw ang badboy sa goodgirl ni Tatiana— the fuck, ang baduy."

"Etienne, seryoso ako."

"Sorry, Kuya Adren. I already sent you an email of his data."

"Adren?" tawag ko at naramdaman ko na may kumilos upang lumapit sa akin.

The cold tone turned gentle. "Arri..."

"Uuwi na ako. Baka hinahanap na ako ni Mama."

"I already informed her." Hinawakan ni Adren ang kamay ko. "I'm so sorry, I wasn't
there..."
"Okay lang! Natural naman ako na maganda, babalik din ito!" Biro ko sa kanya, kahit
hindi ko siya makita o maaninag man lang.

Nanginginig ang kamay ko dahil hindi ko magalaw ang mukha ko.

The face that I hated the most was also the best value I had. Hindi naman ako tanga
para hindi 'yon maramdaman.

Hindi naman siguro ako nagustuhan ni Adren dahil lang sa itsura ko. Nakaramdam ako
ng punyal sa aking puso, para itong nakabara at hindi matanggal. I hope, it's
because I'm Arrisea, not because of this face.

"We'll file an assault case against him, okay?" hinalikan niya ako sa aking noo. He
looked sullen as he examined me.

“Ang dami namang kaso na inaasikaso ng lawyer niyo...” biro ko, kahit sa totoo lang
ay hindi ko matanggap na puro gulo lang ang ambag ko sa buhay niya.

“We can just do it the dirty way, let them be as poor as rats...” he said coldly as
his face darkened.

"Masama 'yon, Adren. Hindi maganda sa business niyo..." Awat ko sa kanya.

Ayokong gamitin niya ang mga koneksyon niya sa masamang paraan dahil sa akin. Ayoko
naman na mahila siya pababa. It's the least that I would want to happen.

Wala pa naman kaming masyadong courses tungkol sa business maliban sa

entrepreneurship dahil next semester pa namin 'yon kukunin. I know that the
reputation of a business or corporation can affect their whole sales. Reputation is
an asset for a company.

"Not every business is good, Arri." Sarkastikong sagot ni Adren. "What do you think
business ethics is for?"

"Pero..."

"Etienne, make sure it's already done by tomorrow."

"Atat ka po? Wala nga akong sweldo rito." Reklamo ni Etienne pero nadinig ko ang
pagtitipa niya sa isang keyboard.

"Rest, okay?" Hinalikan ako sa noo ni Adren. "I'll handle everything."

Hinilig ko ang ulo ko sa unan. Unti-unting pinikit ang mga mata hanggang sa dinalaw
na ako ng antok.

Isang linggo akong nagpahinga pero gumagawa pa rin ng requirements para sa school.
Tinutulungan ako ni Adren habang pinapagaling ang mga sugat na natamo ko sa
pambubugbog sa akin nung Karl.

"Aray ha." Umiwas ako nang hawakan ni Adren ang mukha ko.

"Stay still, Arri." Nililinis niya gamit ng bulak 'yung iilang sugat na nasa gilid
ng mukha ko.

"Kamusta 'yung Karl?"

"Expelled, yours is the latest case of his bullying. Marami na rin siyang naging
biktima bukod sa'yo." Adren answered, gently tracing my face using a cotton.“I also
informed our HR department that some of our employees allowed their son to assault
someone in their school.”

“I heard he also got robbed. Nabugbog din siya noong isang araw...”

Malalim ang titig ko kay Adren at pinagaaralan ang ekspresyon niyang nakangiti.
Umiling-iling ako at bumuntong hininga.

"Wala kang kinalaman?"

"Why would I robbed him, Arri? I don't need the money." Inosenteng sagot niya.

"Kung para lang sa akin, iwasan mo 'yan ha."

Tumikhim siya at tumingin sa akin na para bang hindi niya alam ang sinasabi ko.
Akala naman niya hindi ko nakikita 'yung sungay niya.

Umirap ako sa kanya pero sumilay ang ngiti sa aking labi.

It was nice for someone to look after me. Nasanay ako na palaging ako ang
nagtatanggol pero ngayon na nandiyan si Adren para sa akin ay halos panatag na ako
palagi.

Looking back, It was probably the calm before the storm.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
Paalis na sana ako ng library dahil tapos na ang meeting namin sa PR2. Nakasalubong
ko si Tatiana na mahigpit na hinahawakan ni Karl sa mga braso. Sakto kasing malapit
sila sa hagdanan papunta sa groundfloor.

"Ginawa ko lahat para sa'yo, Tati! Sabi mo siraan ko ang mukha niya! Ginawa ko 'yon
para sa'yo!"

"That's not enough!" Sigaw pabalik ni Tati, her eyes are beginning to form tears.
"Hindi pa rin siya hinihiwalayan ni Adren!"

"Ano?! Hihiwalayan mo na ako dahil mahirap na kami?! Pera lang ba talaga ang
inaasam mo sa tao, ha?!"

Umiling-iling si Tati habang umiiyak."Ayoko sa'yo! Ayoko sa'yo! Umalis ka na rito!"

Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. I shouldn't be seeing this! Pero hindi ko mapigilan
ang sarili ko na umawat sa kanila. Agad akong sumaklolo sa kanila at pumagitna.

Nilayo ko si Tati kay Karl at marahas na tinulak si Karl. Loko ka! Kulang pa 'yan
sa mga natamo ko dahil sa'yo!

Kahit ayaw ko sa pagkatao nito, I can't see her being harmed. Natuto na ako sa
nangyari kay Suzy. Kahit ngayon lang ay ayokong maging hipokrito.

"Karl, hindi ka na estudyante rito. Ipapadampot kita sa security kung hindi ka

aalis nang kusa." Matapang na saad ko.

"Akin si Tatiana!" Marahas niyang pilit na inaagaw si Tatiana na nilagay ko sa

likod ko.

"Isaksak ko pa siya sa lalamunan mo e! Pero wala kang karapatan manakit ng babae! O

kahit sino!" Singhal ko at pinilipit ang kanyang braso na pilit inaabot si Tatiana
na nasa likod ko.

Sa sobrang paghahabol ng kamay niya kay Tatiana ay hindi niya ito sinasadyang
naitulak ang katawan nito. Agad kaming napalingon sa kanyang direksyon.

"Tati!" Pareho naming sigaw nang unti-unting gumulong si Tatiana sa hagdanan.

Malakas ang tunog ng kanyang pagkakahulog. The continous sound of pounding was
heard by a lot of people. Lahat ay napatingin sa dako ni Tatiana paakyat sa akin.

Kumakalabog ang puso ko sa kaba. Lalo na nang dumiin at dumilim ang bawat tingin ng
mga tao sa akin.
She was behind me...

From this angle...

It looks like I pushed her...

"Ate Arri..." naghihingalong saad ni Tati habang ang mga mata ay nakatingin sa
akin. Tumutulo ang dugo mula sa kanyang ulo papunta sa kanyang mukha.

"Bakit mo a-ako tinulak?"

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 24 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

TG// mention of child abuse

Kabanata 24

Sinugod si Tatiana sa hospital na malapit sa UJD. Kumakalabog ang puso ko habang

sinusundan ng tingin si Tatiana na nilalagay sa isang stretcher upang ipasok sa
ambulansya.

"I.." Karl trailed off. "Tinulak mo ba siya? Ako ba ang nakatulak? Anong
nangyari?!"

Tumalim ang tingin ko sa kanya. Masasapak ko na ang isang ito!

Mabilis ang pangyayari. Walang nakatitiyak kung paano pero humandusay na lamang si
Tatiana sa dulo ng hagdanan, lahat ng mga mata'y sa akin nakatuon na para bang
hindi na kailangan pang imbestigahan dahil nahuli na sa akto ang suspek.

It felt sickening.

Wala akong ginawa sa kanya.

Bakit kailangan umabot sa ganito?

I texted Adren, siya lang kasi ang alam kong makakapagpakalma sa akin sa sitwasyon
na ito. He immediately replied that he'll meet me.
Nang maabutan ako ni Adren ay agad niyang kinapa ang aking mukha. His eyes
travelled around my body, checking if there was any bruises.

"Okay lang ako." Napalunok ako habang tinatanggal ang kamay niya sa akin.

"What happened?"

"Nalaglag si Tatiana sa hagdanan."

"It's an accident..." Hinawakan ni Adren ang mukha ko. "Don't blame yourself too
much."

Still, I was there.

Kinakain ako ng guilt kahit alam ko namang hindi ko siya tinulak. Alam ko sa sarili
ko na wala akong kasalanan pero hindi ko maiwasan ang sisihin ang sarili ko na
hindi ko napigilan ang pagkalaglag ni Tati sa hagdan.

Balisa ako nang tumungo sa kanyang kwarto sa hospital. It took days before we were
allowed to see her. Medyo nanginginig ako nang makita ko si Tatiana na nakaupo at
nakasandal sa pader. She looks at me and smiled. Bakas sa kanyang mukha ang
panlulumo sa kanyang sitwasyon ngayon.

I was alone when I visited her. Ayokong kasama si Adren o kahit sino. I wanted to
talk to her alone.

"Tati..." Humugot ako nang malalim na hininga. "Kamusta ka na?"

"Mukha ba akong okay sa'yo, Ate?" she started sobbing."The doctor said I couldn't
use both of my feet now."

Lalong lumalim ang guilt sa aking dibdib. Halos tuliro na nga ako dahil nasaktan
siya, ngayon pa na hindi na niya magagamit ang mga paa niya?

I know, it wasn't my fault yet I felt responsible for not saving her in time.

"Sorry for hearing that..."

"Totoo ba, Ate? Are you really sorry?" she started sobbing harder. "How could you
push me! You, of all people!"

"Hindi kita tinulak! Maniwala ka sa akin..."

"Ate..." lumalandas ang luha sa kanyang mukha. "Bakit ka nagsisinungaling? Bakit mo
'to ginawa?"

"Aksidente 'yon..." umawang ang labi ko. "Hindi ko...wala akong..."

"Ang sama mo." Umiling-iling siya. "Bakit ang sama mo, Ate Arri? H-hindi na k-kita
kilala! A-ayoko na makita k-kahit kailan ang mukha mo."

"Sorry. Naiintindihan ko..." nilunok ko ang bumabara sa aking lalamunan. "Aalis na

ako, Tati. Sana gumaling ka."

"Ate..." patuloy lang siya sa pagiyak. "Totoo bang gusto mong tumulong saakin?"

Umamo ang kanyang mukha. Napuno na naman ng simpatya ang aking puso para sa kanya.

"Sa paraan na kakayanin ko, Tati."

Pinunasan niya ang mga luha sa kanyang mukha."Kapag ba sinabi kong ipaubaya mo
saakin si Kuya Adren..."

Sumilay ang isang malungkot na ngiti sa kanyang labi.

"Gagawin mo?"

"Tati..." mahinahon ko siyang hinawakan sa mga kamay. "Ganyan ba kalakas ang

pagkakahulog mo na nawalan ka na ng utak?"

"Ate, hindi ka ba naaawa saakin? Ganyan na ba katigas ang puso mo?"

Kinagat ko ang pangibabang labi ko bago tumawa. "Nawalan ka lang ng control sa paa,
mukha bang wheelchair si Adren sa'yo?"

It was stupid of me to feel sorry for her. In the end, ang mahalaga lang sa kanya
ay makuha si Adren. The thought sent shivers to my spine. Sobrang babaw ng kaya
niyang gawin para lang mapansin siya nito.

Kaya niyang tiisin na nawalan siya ng mga paa para lang kay Adren? Ano bang
panggagayuma ang ginawa ni Adren sa kanya?

Lumakas ng kanyang iyak at nagmaktol siya na parang bata. "Wala ka talagang

konsensya! Hindi mo man lang iniisip ang sitwasyon ko!"

Bumuntong hininga ako. "Sana ay makita mong hindi ganyan ang paraan para lang
makuha mo ang gusto mo."

“Who are you?”

Napalingon ako sa kung saan galing ang boses, it was a woman who resembled someone
I used to be scare of. Masama ang kanyang tingin sa akin. Napaigtad ako nang makita
siyang muli.

Bakit siya nandito?

“Mom....” namamaos na tawag ni Tatiana sa babaing nasa harap ko ngayon.

I stood still, para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. My fists balled upon
hearing her say that.

“Is this your friend, Tatiana?” matigas niyang tanong, her voice makes me tremble.
Hindi pa rin ito nagbabago. It was still the same voice that made me choose poverty
than being with them in the US.

“She's Arrisea....” Tatiana gulped, trying to calm herself from crying.

“Arrisea?” nanglaki ang mga mata nung babae. “You're that snake's daughter? The one
who ran away? O parehas lang kayo ng pangalan?”

Pinilit kong ngumisi.

This woman is my stepmother, the one who forced me to learn english to communicate
with her. Ang babaing pinatulog ako sa bahay ng kanyang aso, dahil hindi ako
pwedeng sumama sa mga anak niya. The one who claimed they were the legitimate
family when she was the one who stole my father from us.

Ang ganda naman ng reunion namin.

“Kaya naman pala ganyan si Tatiana, ikaw pala ang ina...” nauumay kong saad.

Nagtaas siya ng kilay sa akin.

“Ikaw ba ang may gawa nito sa kanya? Did you push my daughter?!” nanggagalaiti
niyang hiyaw.

“Hindi —”

“Ate! Bakit ba tinatanggi mo pa?!” Tatiana cried out. “Wala ka bang konsensya?”
“Is this your way of revenge? Anak ko ang ginantihan mo?” nagaalab ang galit sa
kanyang mga mata, her hand grabbed my arm harshly.

Para akong binalik sa nakaraan nang gawin niya 'yon. I remember the way her nails
dug into my skin and how her fingers grab a fistful of my hair whenever she wants
to.

“Bitawan mo ako,” matamang sambit ko. “Wala akong ginawa sa anak mo.”

“Bakit ako maniniwala sa'yo? You came from a liar. Hindi ba't hanggang ngayon ay
nabubuhay ka lang naman sa limos galing sa asawa ko?”

This is one of the reasons why I never wanted to accept his money. Pero
responsibilidad niya 'yon. Hindi nga dapat ito hinihingi sa kanya. Kaya bakit
matatawag niya itong limos? Her husband did it on his own accord.

Nanginginig ako sa galit, kapag hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko ay baka masaktan
ko siya. Hindi ko ito pwedeng gawin dahil alam kong maaaring baliktarin niya ako.

I knew her too well.

Marahas ko na sinara ang pinto. Para tuloy itong padabog at napatingin ang iilang
nurse at mga pasyente sa pwesto ko. Agad akong umalis bago pa magkaroon ulit ng
bulungan.

Umalis na ako bago pa man ako mahabol ng babaing 'yon. She is Tatiana's mother.
Nawala ang natitirang awa ko para sa kanya. Nawala ang simpatya at hiniling ko na
sana nga ako na lang ang nagtulak sa kanya sa hagdanan, baka mapawi ang galit ko sa
kanyang ina.

I feel sorry for her but it doesn't mean I'm stupid to fall for her tricks, twice.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"Anong sabi mo?" I asked, in disbelief.

"Tati wants to get interviewed." Tsismis ni Franny. "Hindi ko alam kung ano ang
sasabihin niya..."

Gusto raw ni Tatiana na magpa-interview para sa mga tabloids, ayan ang tsismis
ngayong araw na ito. Agad na nagtaas ako ng kilay nang marinig ang balita galing
kay Franny.
"Ang sabi lang ay gusto niya raw ang ilabas ang katotohanan." Franny was biting his
fingernails. "Hindi kaya sisihin ka niya? Ang laki pa naman ng galit sa'yo ng
batang 'yon!"

"Batang pasaway." Umiling-iling ako. "Rawwstarr."

"Ikaw, nagawa mo pang magbiro!" Kinurot ako ni Franny sa pisngi. "Hindi ka ba

natatakot?"

"Hindi na rin naman maganda tingin sa akin ng tao e. At saka, may patunay naman ako
na hindi ako ang tumulak sa kanya. Nandoon si Karl at kaya niyang patunayan na
aksidente 'yon."

My phone vibrated in the middle of our conversation. Agad na napako ang tingin ko
rito nang makita ang pangalan ni Etienne. I decided to answer his call.

"Hey, Ate Arri." He greeted. "Let's talk."

Sa paraan ng pagtawag niya sa akin ay parang alam ko na tungkol ito kay Tatiana. He
sounded like he was disgusted to talked about it. Nahihimigan ko sa tono niya ang
iritasyon.

Nakipagkita ako sa isang malapit na study hub sa kanya.

As usual, dala niya ang kanyang laptop na may naka imprintang EIJE sa likod nito.
Mukhang galing pa mismo sa kanilang kompanya. Nangangamoy pulubi na tuloy ako dahil
sa magarang gamit nito.

"Kuya Adren asked me to check the CCTVs but someone already tampered it with
another video. Nawawala ang original copy sa posisyon kung saan makikita kung sino
tumulak." He rested his chin on his palm as he was scrolling in his laptop.

Naririnig ko ang bawat pagtipa at pag-click niya rito. His eyes were also moving
fast as he was checking something on his laptop. Hindi ko tuloy maiwasan ang
mamangha.

Etienne was wearing glasses. Hindi ko alam na malabo pala ang mata niya o dahil ba
ito sa kulay nito? His eyes were colored in the shade of grey. Ang unique lang.
Napatingin saakin si Etienne at umirap sa kawalan.

"I'm wearing glasses because my eyes are sensitive to light. Hindi ako pwedeng
magbabad sa mga gadgets." He said, shrugging. "Although, I have to."

That's ironic, a tech geek who can't use gadgets often.

He was cracking his fingers while his sight was still on his laptop.

"I'm trying to get into the tabloid's drafts. Hinahanap ko ang laman ng mga sinabi
ni Tatiana. Oh, here's the folder..."

"Anong ginawa mo?" hindi ko mapigilan ang magtanong.

"I went through their system? Ang cheap nung tabloid na pinuntahan ni Tatiana."
Kumunot ang noo niya at umawang ang labi.

"She's planning to involve the Reverios into this."

Nanglaki ang mga mata ko. "Ano? Anong sabi niya?"

Etienne touched his lips as a smirk appeared on his face. "Apparently, the current
girlfriend of the potential CEO in line has caused a disturbance in their school by
pushing an innocent girl on the stairs because of jealousy."

"Paano?" I bit my lip. "Hindi naman madadamay si Adren 'di ba? Siya pa rin ang
tiga-pagmana?"

I know how much this matters to Adren. No'ng naguusap sila ng kanyang Lolo, it was
always about the company and making sure he was the one who will be appointed as
the next CEO. Hinihintay na lamang siyang maka-graduate ng kolehiyo.

"On the contrary, Arrisea." Etienne's tone turned serious, walang bahid ng pagiging
pilyo niya. "This changes everything."

"Anong ibig mong sabihin?"

"Unlike how you view it, companies or corporations are not controlled by the CEO
itself. Meron pa ring board of directors, they also have the say on who should be
the next in line for the CEO position. As of now, Adren's chance is fairly high
considering that he has the support of his Grandpa."

His gaze shifted on me as he gave sly smile. "However, a stain on his reputation
could mean that their trust could also falter. It also doesn't help that his
beloved parents would do anything to put the company into their hands."

"Hindi naman si Adren ang gumawa no'n! Sumabit lang ang pangalan niya, I didn't
even do it!" Giit ko.

"As long as there's no evidence..." Etienne yawned and stretched his arms,"there's
no crime. It's the same as you don't have the evidence to prove your innocence. Do
you think Karl would say he did it? I bet not and even if he did, Tati's words will
still be superior as long as the footage of the CCTV can't be retrieved."

Kung ako lang sana ay wala namang problema. Pero kung damay si Adren ay ibang
usapan na 'yon. He was studying for his company. It was probably his dream to be
able to manage it.

Paano na?

My stomach feels like rock hard. Para bang may nakain ako na hindi ko gusto at
hanggang ngayon ay nalalasahan ko pa rin. It felt like I couldn't do anything about
it.

Bigla ko rin naalala ang mga kaso na siya mismo ang naga-asikaso para sa akin. He
did have clean reputation, at nadudumihan ko lang 'yon. My heart was slowly
shrinking, pinanghihinaan ako ng loob dahil naisip ko na simula't sapul ay puro
gulo lang ang dala ko sa kanya.

Kadalasan, ano bang ginagawa ng mga babaing nasa telenobela kapag ganito? Hindi ba
pinaglalaban nila ang mahal nila? I would have done that, if only this wasn't
Tatiana's mother we're talking about. At kung hindi lang kinabukasan ni Adren ang
nakasalalay.

Sometimes in life, we really have battles that we can't win. At sa simula pa lamang
ay alam mong talo ka na. My practicality wins over me. We're still too young, at
kahit alam naman naming mahal namin ang isa't-isa — meron kaming mga
responsibilidad na hindi pwedeng iwan.

“Baka kailangan ko munang iwan si Adren,” my throat constricted. “Akala ko kaya ko

siyang ipaglaban, pero iniisip ko pa lang na baka kailangan niyang sumugal dahil sa
akin...”

The mere thought of him going through hardship is already making me feel like a
shitty person. Hindi bale na ako na ang masama, as long as he doesn't have to go
through hell with me. Lalo na at nasa Pilipinas pala ang demonyitang 'yon.

"Wow, you have the same birthday."

Umangat ang tingin ko kay Etienne na may bahid ng pagkamangha ang mukha.

"Don't you think it's the best birthday gift for him? To make sure he's still the
CEO in line?"

His tone was dripping with sarcasm. Kitang-kita ko kung paano nagbago ang pananaw
niya sa akin. He looked like he was disappointed with me.

“Can you help me make a decision?”

“As a friend or as an outsider?” He raises a brow.

“As an outsider,” sagot ko.

"Leave him for now, Arri. As long as you're associated with him, hindi ka titigilan
ni Tati. It's also a way to divert this potential rumor." He clasped his hands
together. "I mean, it's still your choice. Hindi naman ako kasama sa relasyon
niyo."

See? Kahit umikot pa kami ay iisa lang naman ang direksyon na tatahakin namin.
Leaving him for now will guarantee that he would gain his spot as the CEO of his
company. A bad reputation can cost him everthing. Alam ko 'yon, dahil hindi rin
naman ako malinis sa mata ng ibang tao.

Ginatungan niya pa. "You know that Alfred is the only link Adren has from the
Reverios. The other Reverios would love to see him succumb to the lowest."

At kahit alam ko naman ang pinakamadaling gawin, I still wanted to be with him. I
love Adren and leaving him would break me entirely.

"Hindi ba pwedeng sabihin na lang ang katotohanan?" I was beginning to lose hope.

Alam ko naman na wala akong kasalanan. Maybe, we can just rely on the truth to
speak for itself?

I don't wanna lose Adren...

"The question is, who's telling the truth?" Etienne arched an eyebrow. "Pwedeng
ikaw, pwedeng si Tatiana, pwedeng kung sinong poncio pilato ang nakakita. In court,
you could twist the truth as long as you know what's your version of truth is."

Sa kaibuturan ng puso ko ay alam ko ang sagot ngunit iba naman ang gustong lumabas
sa bibig ko.

"K-kaya mo bang paikutin ang katotohanan?" Sa takot na boses ay pinilit kong

magtunog matapang.

What if our plans fail? At kinailangan ko pang iwan si Adren? Hindi ba parang
sumusugal lang kami sa wala?

"As long as you follow what I say." A playful grin registered on his lips. "Our
truth will be the truth itself."
Hindi 'yata ako makakakanta ng happy birthday sa kaarawan namin ni Adren.

"October 8. Pareho naming birthday 'yon?"

"Yeah."

"Isang buwan pa..." I was trembling at the thought of it.

"You have a month then. Hindi pa makakalabas ng hospital si Tatiana kaya hindi pa
siya gaano makakagawa ng kilos, I could also hide the drafts for the tabloids for a
month."

A month.

To literally just say I love you everyday.

Sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam ko. Para bang pasan ko na pati problema ng iba. Pero
dapat ko rin ipagpalagay na bata pa kami. Marami pang pwedeng mangyari. Hindi naman
dapat na hanggang dito na lang kami.

If it means Adren will achieve his dreams, then so be it. Pinanganak siya sa
mundong ito para maging CEO, hindi para maging kasintahan ko lang.

“Salamat...”

Etienne smirked. "My pleasure."

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 25 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Warning: Read at your own risk

TG// Child abuse, murder

ADREN

Kabanata 25

Do you know the reason why you're born in this filthy world?

Since I was young, it was the constant question I've always asked myself.
Why was I born?

"Makinig ka sa akin," My Mother with her elegance, bend down to my level. "Smile,
Adonis. Ngumiti ka."

My lips twitched at the sight of her glaring at me.

I tried smiling but I only receive her palm slapping my cheeks in return. This
hurts less than how it used to hurt. It's probably because my cheek has been numb
from all the slaps I got from her.

"What's wrong with you?! Why can't you at least be more like a kid? You even looked
like that piece of..." Anais Reverio growled at me, throwing her elegance aside.
The sound of her heels as she walked towards the table to sip from her wine is
deafening.

Nakasunod lamang ang mga mata ko sa kanya. I don't know if I should be thankful
that I've only received slaps from her. It could have been worst. She definitely
did more worst things than this. I heaved a breath, buti na lamang at sampal lang
ang natamo ko sa kanya ngayon.

She was capable of doing more and she wouldn't hesitate to inflict more pain —
because it's me. Sa akin niya ito gagawin kaya naman wala lang ito para sa kanya.

She massage her temples as if I was the most problematic child she had ever
conceived. I was fidgeting my fingers because I knew this will be a long
discussion...again.

"Adonis, can you show some emotions? Or even just fake it? Your smile doesn't even
look like a smile at all. Do you want others to think I'm mistreating you?"

I immediately shook my head, my small frame was already trembling because I can
feel the animosity in each word that she hurled at me.

Nakarinig pa ako ng ilang pagbagsak ng mga gamit. The pieces of the acrylic vases
were scattered around. Walang lumalapit. Walang kumikibo. This was like the routine
for us.

She yelled. She cursed. She decided to break everything that occupies her sight.
She was like this everyday, causing havoc just to appease her anger towards me.

I lowered down my gaze as I wipe the dripping blood on my lips. This will heal. Ang
sabi ni Grandpa ay hihilom din ito.

The physical pain will soon recover because humans are capable of rejuvenating.
Pero hanggang ngayon ay nanginginig pa rin ako. The pain inside of me however
cannot recover that quickly.

Anais was frustrated that I was the living carbon copy of my father. I resembled
Alfos Reverio when he was younger and even other people can attest to our
similarities. We both had the same jet black hair, pale white skin and aristocratic
features from our descendants.

Napadaan ako sa hallway, seeing the painted portraits of my bloodline — I wonder if

I really belong in this house. I saw one of my Father's portrait and halted from my
tracks. I decided to trace down his features and eventually realized how it reflect
how I look.

Lumambot agad ang aking mga mata. It made me think that maybe...

Maybe if I didn't look like father, she'll appreciate me more. She'll probably act
more motherly to me, only if I didn't look like him.

I wanted to please her. I wanted her to want me as her child. All she ever wanted
was for me to give her a smile. And I did. I always do. In return, my lips would
bleed because it isn't true enough. My smile is not enough.

I can't smile because I have no reason to. Bakit ba nila ako pinipilit ngumiti?

My mother — Anais likes to prepare extravagant parties for her own liking. Sinabi
sa akin noon, it is a way to build your connections or to strengthen her social
standing.

Inaayos ang aking tux nang dumating siya upang tingnan ang aking pananamit. Her
eyes turned to slits as she examine me.

“Don't forget to smile,” malamig niyang usal. It terrified me because I know she'll
be watching me.

Not because she cares.

But because she's waiting for me to create a flaw that she can reprimand. Ganoon na
lamang ang taglay niyang galit sa'kin.

"I'm not happy, why should I smile?" my mouth was downturned.

My heart pounded against my chest. Kahit ako ay nagulat sa aking sinabi. I looked
at her and saw that she was delighted to see me scared of her.

Lumapit siya sa akin at mariin na hinawakan ang aking baba. She made me turn my
gaze at her. Gumuhit ang isang ngiti sa kanyang mga labi.
"Adonis, no one cares about how you feel." Anais caressed my face. "They only care
about how you appear infront of them."

Truly, her words alone can already make me feel so lonely.

“Hurting someone physically isn't enough,” Anais was tracing the marks she left on
my body. Dumudugo pa ang ilan sa mga ito. I was trembling.

“You have to hurt them emotionally, so that no one can heal those scars in their
hearts.” She cupped my face as a smile appeared on her lips.

Alfos married Anais so the companies of both parties will be merged. That's what I
heard from the gossip from the maids. My biological mother didn't want to be tied
down with this marriage because she knew that she won't have any power if she gets
married into a patriarchal family. Still, they got married and had me.

It was my fault why she had to stay here. It was my fault that she needed to give
birth. It was my fault why she can't be happy. It is my fault that up until now
everyone in this house cannot find satisfaction in their lives.

Kasalanan ko ang lahat.

Kaya naman tinatanggap ko na lamang ang galit niya sa pamamagitan ng pagtanggap ng

masasakit niyang mga salita. Even the physical wounds are already a norm to me.
Nag-aaral na nga ako kung paano ito gagamutin.

"Kuya Adonis!" Sol excitedly hopped her way towards me.

My thoughts were disturbed by someone. Nilingon ko ito at awtomatikong ngumiti nang

mapagtantuan na si Solstice ang lumapit sa akin.

Solstice Lavender was my half sister from Dayanara, my father's secretary. Anais
knows about them yet she couldn't careless.

She didn't love my father any way. She couldn't reciprocate any feeling towards
him.

I don't even know if they're really married, baka nga gumawa sila ng paraan para
maging peke ang lahat.

"Hi." I smiled at her despite of how much my cheeks were hurting.

I was punished because I was a bad child. Hindi ko kasi natapos ang mga pinapagawa
sa akin na music sheets para sa isang piano recital na sponsored ni Anais. I didn't
know how to do it even if I had someone to teach me. I wasn't interested in music.
Pero kailangan dahil gusto ni Anais.

"Can we play? You'll be this ken doll! I'll be this barbie! Then we'll live in a
dollhouse!" she giggles as she showed me her dolls.

Our age gap was only a year yet I was forced to be more matured. I was the heir so
I had to understand everything the adults were talking about.

A woman strides towards us. Umangat ang tingin ko sa kanya para bigyan siya ng
pansin.

Dayanara smiled at me when she reached Solstice to pick her up. Ngumiti ako pabalik
dahil mabait naman siya sa akin. She's even more of a mother to me than Anais will
ever be.

"Pasensya na kung ginugulo ka niya, Sir Adonis." Dayanara shifted her gaze but
maintained her apologetic smile.

I shook my head.

"Wala po 'yon. I'm actually happy I can spend time with my sister po."

Dayanara's eyes soften when she notice that I acknowledge Sol as my sister. I could
see the gratitude in her gestures.

"Mauuna na po kami, Sir Adonis." She bowed a little before going back inside the
mansion.

“Bye, Kuya!”

I waved at them as I watch them go towards the main house.

I wondered why Alfos liked Dayanara so much. Is it because she was kind or it is
because she was submissive? Both of the qualities can't be found on Anais.

Even if Anais and I were the legitimate family members, Alfos doted on Dayanara and
Solstice more. I couldn't blame him. Compare to the uptight wife and gloomy son, I
would have prefer Dayanara and Sol too.

Isang araw ay naabutan ko na may kaguluhan sa bahay. The breaking of vases froze me
on the spot. Naalala ko si Anais. Every time I hear something breaking, I'm already
anticipating the feeling of getting hurt. Napapikit ako at sinubukan silipin kung
ano ang nangyayari.
"I won't accept you and your child unless you could give me a boy. Tandaan mo 'yan.
This household does not need you." Grandpa said before walking away from Dayanara
and Alfos.

Dayanara cried in Alfos' arms. Solstice was condemned solely because she was born
in the wrong gender. My grandpa would probably approved of their arrangement if
only they could give him a grandson rather than a granddaughter.

My heart sank when I saw them. Pakiramdam ko talaga ay hindi na dapat ako nabuhay
pa. I cause them suffering. If only my existence didn't hinder them to be together.

Kahit gaano kabait si Dayanara, she was slowly losing it because of the constant
degrading words she received from my Grandpa. Hindi naman siya mapagtanggol ni
Alfos.

I decided to talk to Grandpa. Sa lahat ng miyembro ng pamilya, Grandpa was the one
who made me feel a little special. He wasn't affectionate but he treated me like
family.

"Adonis, stop talking to that brat. Hindi ko talaga maintindihan si Alfos. Gagawa
na nga lang ng bata, hindi pa ginawang lalaki." My grandfather was displeased. He's
usually cool with me however the same can't be said to my siblings.

I wonder if only Solstice was born as a male...

Meron pa kaya akong puwang sa bahay na ito?

Of course, I didn't follow my grandpa. Solstice was the only one who talks to me.
She's the only one who understands me.

During the times we'll encounter each other in the hallway of this mansion, we
would talk in small voices so that others won't hear us.

"I'll visit you later at night, okay?" I promised Sol and she quickly nodded her
head.

"Yes, Kuya! Hurry, okay?" she smiled brightly.

She had rays of hope in her eyes. Sa tuwing manghihina ako ay siya lamang ang
kinakapitan ko. I have to live for Solstice. I had to survive to see her reach her
dreams — to see her living in a more peaceful world.

We were not allowed to talk to each other yet we secretly meet at night to play
with her dollhouse. It was my stress reliever from all the data sheets I had to
know despite of my age. I was studying stocks at the mere age of nine yet I
couldn't complain. I was the heir and I had no right to be ungrateful for the huge
opportunity they're handing me.

“Kuya, one day we will live in a huge house like this...” she mumbled.

“Hmm? Don't you think that this mansion is already too big?” I ask, arranging the
toys that she is handing me.

She shook her head and gave a smile that reached her eyes.

“A big house where you and I are happy.”

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. I smiled genuinely as I decided to ponder on her

words. One day, Solstice. We will also be happy.

The routine happened every other night. Hindi bale na mapuyat at parusahan ako ni
Anais. As long as my sister and I talked to each other. The wounds and bruises do
not matter to me anymore.

Soon, I'll be happy.

When it was almost midnight, I sneak around the hallway to Solstice's room. Maingat
kong binuksan ang pinto ng kwarto niya, although it stopped midway because I heard
someone.

"Mom! I..can't...breath! M-mommy!" I heard a muffled whimper.

My system immediately panic. Agad akong lumapit sa pintuan upang tingnan kung ano
ang nangyayari.

I took a peek to see who it was and I saw Dayanara putting a pillow on my sister's
head.

"Dayanara!" I called her out as I open the door. I pushed her away from my sister
and she was startled.

When I looked at Solstice, her eyes are already wide open so as her mouth. She was
as pale as dead. I tried shaking her but she was unresponsive.

The tears started falling from my eyes.

My sister...
No...

Hindi pwede.

"I..." Dayanara was out of words. She looks up to me and her eyes started watering.

I clenched my fist as my face contorted into anger.

Why would she kill her own child?! Why did she killed my sister?!

Why did she kill my only hope?

Bakit?

Ganito na lamang ba ang galit nila sa akin? That they had to do this?

Mabibigat ang bagsak ng bawat luha ko habang hawak-hawak ang kapatid ko. She isn't
here anymore. Wala na si Solstice. Wala na siya.

Paano na ako?

"I just..." she bit her lip as she shakes her head. "Buhay pa siya...she's just
sleeping...maybe she'll become...a boy when she wakes up."

She's delusional. She's sick in the head! Even a kid like me would think she's not
in her proper mind!

Sa sobrang galit ko ay pinagbabato ko lahat ng mga gamit ni Solstice. The loud

noises alarmed the household and they immediately went to Solstice's room.

Agad na niyakap ni Alfos si Dayanara na hanggang ngayon ay tulala at nanginginig sa

takot. He didn't even care that Anais was also in the same room. Anais was looking
at them with amusement while her arms were across her chest.

"You're lucky you were born with the right genitals for this family, Adonis." Anais
chuckled as she rolled her eyes. "Nakakabaliw maging babae sa pamilya niyo."

"It's okay, she'll wake up tomorrow." Alfos comforted Dayanara who was clutching on
him and still dazed.

“Pinatay mo siya!” I screamed, letting my eyes release every tear that I was
holding on.
“Tumahimik ka!” Alfos shouted at me.

“You murderer—”

Alfos punched me. Ang malaki niyang kamao ay walang awang pinagsusuntok ang mukha
ko.

I couldn't feel my face as my vision turn blurry. Nanatiling nakahiya ang aking
katawan sa malamig na sahig. Blood was coming out of my nose.

I close my eyes.

Sana sinama mo na lang ako, Sol.

Ang daya mo naman. Iniwan mo si Kuya rito.

Solstice was clearly already dead unless he can bribe death to bring her back, it's
impossible to make my sister alive again.

I have no reason to live anymore.

I was forced to sleep because of the punches I've received. It made me lose
consciousness. Kung pupwede nga lang na maging panaginip na lamang ang lahat. When
I woke up, I decided to wear a shirt and pants that are black when I went down to
the dining area.

Only to see someone with the same face of Solstice sitting on my sister's chair.

Natigilan ako habang prinoproseso ang nasa harapan ko. The girl had the same
height, same features but the feeling wasn't the same.

What the hell.

The girl looks at me and her mouth parted. I could see the desperation in her eyes.
Although she has the same features as my sister, she didn't have her energy or her
eyes. It was different— this was clearly a different person.

"Who is this?" I pointed towards the person.

Nanginginig ako sa galit.

Anong tingin nila sa kapatid ko? Manika na pwedeng mapalitan?

"Your sister, of course." Alfos sipped from his cup, not even exerting effort to
look at me.

"My sister is alread dead." I said, firmly. I could feel my fist tightening because
of how they think I'm dumb enough to believe it.

Anais sighed exaggeratedly. "Ayaw mo 'yon? You have a new sister with the same
face, Adonis."

"Shut up, Anais!" Alfos growled.

"What?" Anais feigns innocence. "Did I say anything wrong, my dear?"

I can't help but look at Dayanara who was watching the fake Solstice eat. Akala mo
naman talaga anak niya, she freaking killed her kid!

"You are all killers then! Isusumbong ko kayo sa pulis! How dare you kill my
sister!" I said out of frustration. She killed my sister and they're trying to
cover it up!

Ang sasahol nila!

Alfos stood up and went towards me. Nakatanggap ako nang malakas na sampal sa
kanya. My small body went down because of it.

"You're only tough because you have my father's blessing. If only you didn't exist
then we could have been more happy in this household." Alfos said in his stern
voice.

Akala mo ba hindi ko 'yon alam? Akala mo ba sa tuwing nakikita ko kayo ay umaasa pa

akong mamahalin niyo ako?

Lahat ng pisikal na sakit ay kayang mawala. Pero itong emosyon na binibigay nila sa
akin ngayon, it will haunt me as days goes by. I just wanted to live and be happy.

Bakit ba pinanganak pa ako kung tanging pasakit lamang ang dala ko sa kanila at
tanging pananakit lang ang kaya nilang gawin sa akin?

Tiningnan ko si Anais. She only looks at me as a smile appeared on her lips. She
didn't even feel bad for me. Why would she feel something for me? She loathes me.

Parang minamartilyo ang puso ko sa sakit.

Bakit pa ba ako pinanganak?

"Tell the guards to dragged Adren to the basement. Lock him up until he remembers
who is in charge in here."

Alfos commanded sternly.

The guards went towards me to put me in the basement. Marahas nila akong hinawakan
sa aking mga braso at kinaladkad papunta roon.

“N-no, you can't do this to me...”

“Adonis, pwede bang tanggapin mo na lang na walang may pakialam sa'yo sa bahay na
ito?”

Halos maubos ang lakas ko habang hinahatak ako papunta sa isang kwarto. I tried
fighting back but they won't show any mercy.

The guards pushed me inside and I could hear the keys and how they locked it.

It was dark here. Not even a single stroke of light was visible.

“Sorry na po, pakawalan niyo na po ako...” I cried. Kahit sa napapaos na boses at

namamalang lalamunan ay nagawa kong makiusap.

Walang nakarinig.

Walang lalapit.

Walang tutulong.

Wala na kasi si Solstice.

“Mom...” I tried to call her just like how others would call their mothers.

Wala.

“Dad...” unti-unti akong pumikit. “Sorry na po...”

No one was there to answer me.

I curled myself into a position where I can rest my head on my knees. I could cry
but my eyes are already too tired for it.

Ilang araw akong sumigaw at humingi ng tulong. Napapagod na ako at kung minsan ay
pakiramdam ko ay nasa tabi ko lang si Solstice.

Maybe, sinusundo na niya ako?

Masaya ba sa lugar kung nasaan ka ngayon, Sol?

Baka pwede mo naman i-sama si Kuya?

My hallucinations were driving me insane. Unti-unti na akong nawawalan ng malay.

I'm slowly accepting that I'm gonna be gone too.

I was there for three days and no one was giving me food or water. No one really
cared for me or look out for me. Kahit ang mga kadugo ko mismo ay tinakwil ako.

I was beginning to be consumed by the darkness because of the starvation and

exhaustion when the door suddenly opened.

May nagbukas ng pintuan at pumasok siya na parang may pinagtataguan. Dahan-dahan

niya pang sinara 'yung pinto bago tumabi sa akin.

A light coming from a flashlight lit up the room. The girl look at me with a
bewildered look on her face.

"Hoy gago ka! Hindi ko 'to sa patay kinuha! Huwag mo ako multuhin!" She hissed at
me as she showed me a basket of food.

My tummy is rumbling as she eats a piece of bread from the basket. I was surprised
when she puts the half of the bread on my mouth.

I didn't know what to feel...

"Gutom ka rin ba? Okay lang 'yan, kainin mo na lang 'to. Sayang lang kasi di rin
naman nila kakainin. Magpapaluto sila ng marami tapos kaunti lang kakainin nila!
Mga mayayaman talaga." She shakes her head in disappointment.

"Thank you..." I whispered as she shared her food with me.

"bakit nandito ka? Ang dilim dilim dito. Multo ka ba? Engkanto? O tigabantay sa
bahay?" she showered me with questions. I couldn't see her face because the
flashlight wasn't enough for the entire room.

I can only say that she's a girl because of her voice and her long hair.

"What's your name?" I asked her as I eat the bread and ham from the basket.

"Arr—" she stopped and huffs. "Ayoko nga sabihin! Baka isumbong mo pa ako kay
Mama!"

"I won't."

"Secret, no clue, tapon susi!"

I didn't have the energy to argue.

"Fine. I won't tell my name then."

She huffed at me.

"Pakialam ko sa pangalan mo? Artista ka ba? Nasa pogs ba ang pagmumukha mo?"

Pogs? What the hell is she talking about?

I sighed. "I don't wanna live anymore."

"Pinagsasabi mo? Masaya kayang mabuhay."

I tilted my head to her direction. "Not in my life."

"Mahahanap mo rin ang dahilan kung bakit ka nabuhay sa mundo. Basta ako ang alam ko
pinanganak ako para bigyan ng mas magandang buhay ang pamilya ko."

She sounded hopeful. Lumingon ako sa kanya. I couldn't see her eyes but the way she
say things reminds me of Sol.

I couldn't say the same thing. I didn't wanna live for Anais or Alfos. Solstice is
also gone. I don't even know why I'm still alive today.

“I don't have any reason too...” I answered, truthfully.

"Sabi ni Mama, regalo raw ang buhay ng Diyos. Depende na raw sa tao kung
papahalagahan niya ito o hindi. Pero 'di ba parang ang sarap sa feeling kapag
pinahalagahan 'yung regalong bigay sa'yo? Parang gusto mo ulit biyayaan 'yung taong
alam mong pinahalagahan 'yung regalo mo? Sa tingin ko, ganun din ang mararamdaman
Niya kung bibigyan natin ng kahalagahan ang buhay natin."

Her optimism is contagious, for a second, I thought that maybe she was right. Maybe
there was reason why I'm still here despite of how much pain I'm already suffering.

Yet, I know it wasn't true. She was only idealistic.

We talked for hours about our lives. She was babbling about her life and I realized
we lived in a different social status. It seems like she had nothing yet she also
had everything. She didn't have the luxuries yet she had the right people in her
life.

I don't know why people think just because you're rich, you already have
everything. Pakiramdam ko ay pareho lang naman ang buhay sa lahat ng tao, it sucks
your soul through and through.

The ones who are poor are just not priviledge enough to hide the grime part of
their lives. Hindi tulad ng mga mayayaman, they have to maintain a clean slate for
the rest of their lives because people expect them to have the priviledge to get
rid of the filthy truth that this world is not near any rainbows.

"Can we talk again, tomorrow?" I asked her when she was preparing to leave.

"Hm, di ko alam e. Depende kung dadalhin ulit ako rito ni Mama."

"Oh," I suddenly became sad. It was the feeling where you had a playmate in a
resort but you know that it was the only time where you could hang out because they
lived in a different place.

"Ewan ko ba sa'yo, bata ka pa lang stress na kaagad iniisip mo." She poked my
forehead. "Lumaki ka nang gwapo ha. Malay mo paglaki natin liligawan mo ako."

I grimaced at what she told me. "As if, you don't even look pretty."

The truth is I couldn't see her face but my pride couldn't afford hearing that I'll
be courting someone like her. No way, I'll rather court death.

"Gago ka, maganda ako!"

"Stop cursing! You're a kid!"

"Naku, siguro kung tiga saamin ka wala kang kaibigan kasi english ka nang english!"

Namamaga na ang mga mata ko sa sobrang pag-iyak. Pero nagawa niyang paratingin ang
ngiti ko sa aking mga mata.

We laughed.

The comfort she offered me was a little too overwhelming. If only she was here
forever, I would probably had a reason for living.

Maybe, I was just clinging on the tiny hope that she offers. Baka sakaling
magkaroon ako ng gana na mabuhay pa.

I learned that she broke the lock they had on the basement. Kaya naman nakalabas
din ako nang lumabas siya.

"Where have you been, Adonis?" My grandpa was angry like a bull.

Alfos and Dayanara acted clueless, like they didn't lock me in a basement without
food or water. They probably didn't think of opening it, I was just fortunate to
have someone opened it for me.

I only smiled.

They don't care about me, they only care about how I appear infront of them.

"I just went somewhere, Grandpa." I lied.

"The next time you want to go somewhere, please tell us or inform us. Alam mo
namang ikaw lang ang inaasahan ko rito." Grandpa said and I knew this infuriated
Alfos more.

The next day, Alfos wanted us to talk. He probably wants me not to tell about how
he locked me in the basement. What a coward.

"What is it?" I asked as I look at my watch, feigning impatience.

"I just want to tell you that you might be the next CEO of our company because your
grandfather doesn't trust me with it." His baritone voice has the hint of anger in
it.

Kasalanan ko ba kung galit sa kanya si Lolo? If he wasn't stupid enough to

embezzled money from the company before, Lolo would have handed him the company
wholeheartedly.
"Congratulations, anak."

He offered me a drink. It was just a juice so I accepted it.

"Thank you." I said as my mouth touch the glass.

I fell to the ground after I took a sip from it.

"Didn't think that it will be this fast." Alfos laughs. "I'm sorry, son. Siguro
naman ngayon na wala ka na, mapapansin na ng Lolo mo ang iba mo pang kapatid."

He walks out as I pretended to be dead on the floor.

I was just laying there.

Pinapakiramdaman ang malamig na sahig habang hinihintay siyang tuluyang mawala sa

paningin ko.

Of course, I was not stupid enough to sip from it.

Pinahid ko ang patak ng inumin sa aking labi. I immediately pour it in the

trashcan.

Unti-unti akong nilamon ng galit. Galit dahil kahit kailan ay hindi ko mararanasan
ang pagmamahal ng mga magulang ko.

I wasn't hoping for them to love me anymore. Hindi siguro talaga para sa akin ang
pagmamahal. I was fueled with the thirst of making them feel my wrath. Nabubuhay
lamang siguro ako para sirain din ang buhay nila tulad ng ginawa nila sa akin.

It seems like I have it all— the money, the power and even the fame of my surname
yet it feels empty.

I walked towards the office of my Grandpa. I could hear them arguing about
something. Unti-unti kong binuksan ang pinto at nakita kung paano magpanggap si
Alfos.

"I don't know what happened! Someone poisoned my son!" I heard Alfos shouting and
faking his cry of grief.

"Alfos! This can't be true! Paano na ang kompanya?!" Grandpa was more concern on
the company, it was honestly sickening to hear them.
"May he rest in peace." Dayanara's soft voice irked me.

"I have an alternative idea —" natigilan si Alfos nang makita akong pumasok. All
well and alive.

Alfos was clenching his jaw and balled his fists. Dayanara on his side looks like
the perfect housewife who was lamenting with his husband, she was shocked to see
me.

"A-adonis, are you alright?" Grandpa asked in disbelief, he lets out a sigh of
relief as he sat down on his swivel chair.

"Of course po, Grandpa." I smiled and I saw my reflection on the mirror.

That's right.

If they don't know about how I feel, they can't hurt me. No one in this household
is allowed to know how I feel because I know they'll use it against me.

After that, I decided to live my life trying to find ways to ruin theirs. Tanging
galit lang ang namumuo sa aking puso.

Solstice Lavender's impostor once sat beside me as I was reading the future
investments our company will make.

"Ibalik niyo na ako sa ampunan."

"Welcome to hell, my sister." I emphasized the word 'sister' and it made her
grimaced.

"Hindi ako si Solstice."

I nodded, like it was nothing.

"I know but you have to be."

She started crying. "Ayoko rito. Mga wala kayong puso. Walang pagmamahalan. Walang
pagaaruga."

She was throwing tantrums like a child. Pero bata pa naman talaga kami. We were
just forced to grow because of the circumstances.
"You'll get used to it. Ikaw pa naman ang inaasahan nilang aagaw sa posisyon ko."

"Sabi nila kapag naagaw ko raw ang kompanya mula sa'yo, makakaalis na ako rito."
She wiped away her tears, she was acting strong. She clearly was more matured than
my real sister.

I laughed.

"Do you honestly believe them?" I mocked her.

"Gagawin ko ang lahat para makaalis dito. Hindi ko inakalang magagawa 'to sa akin
ni Tita Dayanara." She was sobbing. "A-ang sabi niya bibigyan niya ako ng pamilya."

This time, I craned my neck so that I could see her face. I decided to fight back
the urge of being scared of her. Kapag nakikita ko siya, nakikita ko ang walang
buhay na mukha ng kapatid ko.

"What's your real name?"

"L-lavender."

"My sister also had that name and you look like her..." I laughed. "Be careful when
you're going to sleep, baka di ka na magising kinabukasan."

I stood up.

She was trembling when I left her. Base from the bruises on her arms, Dayanara is
abusing her.

We can't fight back. Not yet.

I gulped as I remember Solstice. Kahit naman magsumbong ako sa mga awtoridad,

mabibili naman sila ng salapi ni Alfos at Dayanara.

Even if I wanted to help her, I still don't have the power to and I also can't show
that I care for her. Alfos will surely use of that fact to get rid of me.

It was excruciating painful to know that my own flesh and blood are the ones who
would like to see me suffering.

What a great family.

Isang balita ang nagpabago ng ikot sa mansyon. I saw Anais walking towards me with
divorce papers on her right hand. I remember that Grandpa told me they were married
overseas. Mukhang napapayag na niya na maghiwalay na sila.

I coldly stared at her as she boast the papers in front of me.

"Hindi mo na ako makikita sa buhay mo."

Honestly, I was grateful. The torture I went through because of her is still fresh
from my memories. Lahat ng masasakit na salita, pananakit at mga ginawa niya sa
akin ay parte na ng pagkataon ko.

"Good riddance." I scoffed.

She laughed. "I was never a mother to you. I understand your hate for me."

"I don't hate you." I smiled at her. "Hate is still an emotion that shows you care.
The truth is, I don't even care about you."

Her lips parted but she immediately concealed her emotion. I thought I could
finally hurt her too just like how she hurted me.

Ngumiti lang siya sa akin. "You may have his looks, but you have my attitude. One
piece of advice — not everyone who shows you that they love you is real. Be careful
for those who tells you they love you, you'll never know what they're really after.
It could be your status, your name or your power — but never you."

She hugged me as she whispered into my ears.

"Do you really think someone will love you? Sarili mo ngang pamilya, hindi ka
magawang mahalin?"

In each day I have to live, I had to believe that in order to survive — no one will
love me. No one. I only have myself.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 26 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 26

"Arrisea, tumawag ang Papa mo..." puno ng pagaalala na sambit ni Mama, inabot sa
akin ang telepono habang nasa lababo ako at naghuhugas ng pinggan.
Pinunasan ko ang kamay ko gamit ng isang maliit na towel at kinuha ang telepono
mula sa kanya.

Nagpakawala muna ako ng isang buntong hininga bago tanggapin ang tawag.

"Arrisea," baritono at matigas nitong tawag sa pangalan ko. "Bakit mo sinaktan si

Tatiana?"

I could never feel any love for him. Noon pa man ay wala akong nararamdaman para sa
kanya kahit alam kong tunay na galing ako sa dugo niya.

Parang may nakabarang bato sa lalamunan ko. Hindi naman ako si darna. Nanlalamig na
naman ang pakiramdam ko. Kung alam ko lang na anak pala ng asawa niya si Tatiana,
kailan man ay hindi ko ito papansinin o lalapitan.

"Hindi ko siya sinaktan, aksidente ang nangyari sa kanya at hindi rin ako ang
gumawa sa kanya no'n -"

"You and your excuses! Hindi mo ba alam na ang nanay ni Tatiana ang nagpapa-aral
sa'yo?!"

"Bakit? Sinabi ko bang pag-aralin niya ako? Hindi ba't responsibilidad mo 'yon?"
asik ko sa kanya.

"Ganyan ba ang natututunan mo sa mama mo? Ganyan ka ba niya pinalaki? Ang maging
bastos at ingrata?"

"Hindi, ikaw ang nagturo sa akin maging bastos at ingrata dahil sa'yo lang naman
ako ganito." I scoffed at him.

Binura ko na sa isip ko ang mga mapapait na alaala ko sa ibang bansa. Hindi ako
tumagal doon dahil sa pangaalipustang ginawa sa akin ng asawa niya.

"Hanggang hindi ka napapatawad ni Tatiana ay hindi ko babayaran ang tuition mo,"

pagbabanta niya sa akin.

"Natakot naman ako," I sarcastically remarked.

Nakalimutan 'yata ng lalaking ito na bayad na ang buong taon ko. If he's referring
to college, huwag siyang magalala dahil wala akong balak mag-kolehiyo muna.

"Ang tapang mo talaga, ah." Tumawa siya sa kabilang linya. "Totoo nga? Ginagatasan
mo ang panganay ng mga Reverio?"
To hear those words from my own father destroyed the last ounce of respect I had
for him.

"No..."

"Manang-mana ka sa Mama mo! Mga mukhang pera! Mga ganid!" he growled through the
other line.

"Back to you po," I casually answered back. Mukhang natigalgal siya sa kabilang
linya. "Tapos ka na ba? Nagsasayang lang tayo ng load dito."

Binabaan niya ako ng telepono. Did it hurt? Yes. Pero sanay na ako at wala na sa
akin 'yon. Wala na akong enerhiya para sa mga taong sarado ang utak, they don't
matter to me anyway. Ang pamilya ko, mga kaibigan ko at si Adren na lang ang
tanging gusto ko pakinggan, only their opinions matter to me.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Ang mga natitirang araw bago sumapit ang kaarawan namin ay ginawa kong masaya. It
was probably my only way to conceal the pain I was feeling.

"Aksidente lang pala 'yon e."

"Akala ko pa naman sinadya."

"Tinulungan pa nga raw nung babae sa TVL 'yung nalaglag."

Hindi ko na nilingon ang mga bulungan na narinig ko. Ang alam ko lang, si Etienne
ang may pakana kung bakit lumubog ang isyu ni Tatiana.

I knew he had to pull some of his strings. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko dahil wala pa
akong kakayanan na ma-resolba ang sarili kong mga problema.

Pero naisip ko, wala naman talaga akong kakayahan. I am still young and I don't
have the ability to resolve it with just a snap of a finger. Hindi tulad nila, they
have the power because they have the money. Iba pala talaga kapag may pera ka.
Pinamukha lang sa akin na iba talaga ang mundo namin ni Adren.

It was idealistic of me to have Adren. Masyado akong umasa na baka nga kaya ko
siyang ipaglaban. Akala ko kasi ay madali lang na hindi magpa-api, pero nakalimutan
ko na halos lahat ng nasa paligid ko ay alipin ng salapi.

We were at the bonanza area with Gio. Nakatambay lang kami rito ngayon dahil ayaw
pa namin umuwi. Pero ang totoo ay gusto ko lang lubusin 'yung oras na magkasama pa
kami.
"Iniisip ko kung bakit ganito ang langit? Nilayo ako sayo..." Sinilip ko si Adren
na seryosong nagsusulat sa columnar pad niya. Napalingon tuloy siya saakin, a
puzzled look on his face.

"Ha?"

"Hindi ko matanggap, mahirap magpanggap na ako'y hindi bigo..." pagpapatuloy ko

sabay pikit ng mga mata.

"Arri, are you okay?" nagaalalang tanong ni Adren at tinigil ang sinusulat niya.

"Ngunit 'di ko rin inaasahang mangyayari 'to, kung ikaw ay alaala na lang...paano
na ako?"

"Anong ginagawa mo?" Halakhak ni Gio habang naka-pangalumbaba. "Alam ko steps

niyan, gusto mo sayawin ko?"

Nilagay 'yung kabilang headphone ko kay Adren.

"Pakinggan mo 'yan, alaala na lang ang title. Maganda sobra."

"Ang jeje naman, Arrisea." Puna ni Gio at ngumiwi."Lakas maka-broken pero going
strong naman kayo."

"Baka mausog mo." I laughed yet deep inside I know the truth.

"Badtrip ako kay Etienne." Ngumuso si Gio nang ibahin ang topic. "Ano naman kung
may grey eyes siya? Sus, contact lens lang katapat no'n."

"Bakit ba ang init ng ulo mo kay Etienne?" tanong ko kay Gio. Magmula kanina ay
puro na siya rant kay Etienne.

"Crush ng crush niya." Adren chuckled, he was writing again on his columnar pad.
Para 'yata sa accounting nila ito.

"Nakakainis na nga e. Nagkagusto na siya sa HUMSS tapos ngayon sa STEM naman,

kailan naman po sa ABM? Sabihin niya lang, ako na dadayo." Seryosong sambit ni Gio.

"Gwapo nga si Etienne..." I muttered upon guessing why the girl would like Etienne
and Adren immediately furrowed his eyebrows.

"Ipapatumba mo ba si Etienne, Gio? I'm willing to help as your friend." Adren

offered, glancing at Gio.

"Kaibigan mo rin si Etienne." Paalala ko.

Adren shrugged. "Wala akong kaibigan na gwapo."

Gio scrunched his nose and sarcasticly retorted. "Wow, salamat na lang sa lahat
p're. Ramdam ko ang buong pusong suporta mo saakin."

I laughed at the two who were bickering with each other. I'll miss them and I'll
miss this.

Sobra.

I realized that sometimes we take things for granted because it's almost there
everyday. Kaya naman kapag nawala na ito ay labis nating pinagsisisihan na hindi
natin ito iningatan o pinaramdam sa kanila kung gaano sila kahalaga.

"Hello." Malamig na saad ni Etienne na biglang sumulpot sa gitna namin ni Adren.

Namutla si Gio na para bang nakakita ng multo, lalo na nang bumaling ng tingin sa
kanya si Etienne.

"Hello," plastikadong ngiti ni Gio. "Gwapo mo."

"I don't do guys, sorry." Ngumiti rin si Etienne pero halatang inaasar niya lang si
Gio.

"Ganda ng tie mo po, sarap higpitan." Gio muttered upon noticing that Etienne was
wearing a tie. They probably had a roleplay for contemporary arts or whatever.

Ngumisi lang si Etienne at nilipat naman ang atensyon niya papunta saamin.

"Malapit na ang birthday niyo ah." Etienne looked at me with hidden meaning.
Napalunok ako bago inatras ang aking tingin sa kanya.

"Yeah? I don't plan on having a party though." Adren shifted his gaze on me. "Anong
plano mo sa debut mo? Do you want me to be the one to organize it?"

"No. Uh, ayoko ng party rin."

Which is true. Kahit naman noon ay ayoko talaga dahil magastos at para lang 'yon sa
mga gusto talagang i-welcome ang adulthood. Sa akin kasi paano ako matutuwa kung
pwede na akong makulong kapag may ginawa akong kalokohan?

"Really? Then what are your plans?" tanong ni Adren, unsatisfied with my answer.

Ngumisi si Etienne nang mapansin na wala akong masabi. Para bang may nakabarang
kung ano sa aking lalamunan at nahihirapan akong gumawa ng dahilan.

"Hey, what about a trip to Subic?" Etienne suggested. "A trip for two."

"A-ah, tama. Mas gusto ko 'yung ganun." Tumango ako. "Gusto ko sa Subic."

Adren smiled at me and immediately nodded his head. "Okay, we'll get tickets for
Subic."

"Gusto ko sana land travel..." para mas matagal pa kitang makasama.

"Okay." Adren once again bobbed his head as he checks his phone.

Etienne leaned towards my ear to whisper. "I did my part, so do yours."

Of course, I have to do it too. Pero hindi naman madaling saktan 'yung taong mahal
mo. It was easier to break your own heart than to break someone you really love.

I licked my lips as I smiled at Adren. "Let's go to Subic, tayong dalawa lang."

October 8 is on tuesday so we decided to plan our trip on the weekends of that

week. Dalawang araw na kaming dalawa lang, o siguro kasama ang driver niya.

Nang makaalis si Etienne ay agad na umirap si Gio, he's obviously pissed off
because of him.

"Di naman niya kasalanan na crush siya nung crush mo." Pangaalaska ko.

"Yun na 'yon? Gwapo na 'yon sa paningin niyo? Hindi naman sa magmamayabang pero
sabi ng Mama ko ay gwapo ako. Sabi rin ni Mama hindi raw gwapo 'yung Etienne na
'yon." Ngumuso si Gio na para bang batang nagsusumbong.

Adren whispered to me. "Hindi naman kilala ni Tita Glory si Etienne."

"Inaano ka ba ni Etienne, Gio?" Halakhak ko at hinawakan ang kamay ni Adren. He

intertwined his fingers into mine.
"Problema ko nga 'yun e. Wala siyang ginagawa pero naging crush siya? Sana all? Edi
kung ganun sana naging statue na lang ako para naging crush niya rin ako 'di ba?
Walang katarungan, gusto ko magpa-Tulfo." He huffed.

We only laughed at Gio. The remaining days should be happy yet I couldn't take the
loneliness out of my heart.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Gio:

Enjoy the trip! Walang bata pagbalik ha! Ilang araw kong pinagdasal na babalik
kayong walang bata sa sinapupunan mo.

I rolled my eyes. Pinatay ko na ang cellphone ko at tiningnan ko si Adren na

nakatingin lang sa akin.

"Grabe naman po sa titig," asar ko sa kanya.

"I'm just scared..."

"Na?"

"You know, that you'll disappear from my sight." He rested his head on my shoulder.
"It scares me to think you'll leave me if I messed up."

"H-hindi 'no. Sino naman nagsabi sa'yo ng mga ganyan?"

"Si Etienne."

Nagtiim bagang ako dahil sa binanggit niyang pangalan.

Isa kang malaking gee ey gee o, Etienne.

"Naku, huwag mo na lang pansinin 'yon." I dismissed his thought.

Maraming magagandang lugar sa Subic. We narrowed three places to visit because two
days are not enough to visit every good place in Subic.

Nang makarating kami sa isang hotel ay pinagpilitan ko na sa iisang kwarto na lang

kami.
"I already reserved two junior suites." Kumunot ang noo ni Adren.

"Gusto ko ng isa lang."

"Dalawa na nga 'yung naka-reserve para sa atin."

"Isa na nga lang," I insisted.

Nakita ko ang bahagyang pagbuntong hininga niya. "Hindi ko kaya ng...isa lang."

"Arte mo naman." Umirap ako sa kanya. "Kahit sa couch na ako matulog kung ayaw mo
ng may katabi!"

"Arrisea, it's not that..." he run his fingers through his hair. Nakita ko pa ang
pagkagat niya sa ibabang labi niya.

He look frustrated.

"Sabihin mo lang ayaw mo talaga ako katabi. Okay lang, sanay na ako." Nagtatampo
kong saad.

"Fuck."Adren cussed.

"Ano 'yon? Minumura mo ba ako, Adren?" I arched an eyebrow.

"Are you seriously asking me that?" naiinis na tanong niya.

Bakit 'to naiinis? Parang tanga?

"Di ka na nga tatabihan 'di ba? Ano pa bang problema mo?"

"Arri, it's not like that. I just..." he pursed his lips on frustration.
"Nevermind."

Nagkibit balikat na lang ako sa inaakto niya. Kinuha ko ang susi nung isang kwarto
at dinala na ang bag ko. Bahala siya sa buhay niya. Ang lakas ng trip e. Ayaw na
lang sabihin na ayaw akong katabi!

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 27 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 27

"Ocean Adventure and Zoobic Safari! Tapos sightseeing na lang tayo sa sa Subic
Bay." I suggested as we narrowed three places to visit.

"Okay." Adren nodded and talked to his driver. Kawawa si Manong dahil naging third
wheel pa siya bigla. Wala kasi akong tiwala na pwedeng kaming dalawa lang sa byahe.
We're still teens and vulnerable to danger.

Unang lugar na pinuntahan namin ay ang Ocean Adventure, we were able to see
different types of sea creatures.

We went inside the aquarium area and it was really dark, only the aquariums itself
illuminates light. Siguro para mas mabigyang pansin ang mga isda.

Pangarap ko talaga nung bata ako pumunta sa mga lugar na ganito pero kapos si Mama
sa pera. Hanggang sa palengke lang ako nakakakita ng mga aquarium na may lamang
tilapia na magiging ulam namin sa bahay pag-uwi.

"Hey, let's try the dolphins or sea lions?" tanong ni Adren habang ang tuon ng
atensyon ko ay nasa mga isdang lumalangoy.

"Sure." I nodded my head.

We went for the shows exclusively for the dolphins and sea lions. They were really
friendly and cute. Nagpapakita sila ng gilas sa mga tao, para kaming bata ni Adren
na humahanga sa simpling tricks na pinapakita nila.

"Hey, we can actually have a close up encounter with the dolphins." Adren suggested
and I was thrilled.

Nagpalit kami ng rash guard bago lumapit sa mga dolphins. We were able to hold them
and play with them. Syempre may mga nagbabantay pa rin pero kung gaano sila ka-
friendly kanina sa show ay mas may ikaf-friendly pa pala 'yon. When it was time to
bid goodbye to them, the dolphin dive down and waved it's tails at us.

We also went for a stroll in Subic Bay. Sobrang linis ng Subic, para kang nasa
ibang bansa. The establishments were also for those who really have money to spend
since some of them were obviously branded. One day, I'll tour my family here when I
have enough money.

I plopped myself to my bed when we arrived in our rooms at the hotel we're staying
in. The dim lights really made the whole room look fancy. Tumingala ako at nag-isip
kung ilang oras na lang ang natitira.
Bakit ang bilis ng oras kapag pinipigilan mo ito? Ang bagal naman kung gusto mo
itong bumilis? It's as if time wants you to know that it repels your expectations.

Sa sumunod na araw ay sa Zoobic Safari naman kami pumunta. Althought the whole tour
was fascinating, I really enjoyed the Tiger Safari and the Croco Loco part.

In the Tiger Safari, we rode a jeep where we can actually roam around along with
the tigers in the safari. Pwede mo rin silang pakainin at ilang beses akong
napakapit kay Adren dahil sa takot at kaba. Ligtas naman ito dahil hindi ka naman
talaga masyadong abot nung tigre.

"Bakit tumatawa ka lang?" Naiinis na tanong ko kay Adren.

Adren was still laughing. "You're cute when you're scared."

Ngumiwi naman ako.

In the Croco Loco, we walked in a steel grated walkway and fed the crocodiles using
a fishing rod.

Ilang beses din akong napapikit at muntik na mabitawan ang fishing rod dahil sa
pagabot ng mga crocodiles sa manok na pinapakain sa kanila. Adren on the other hand
looks oddly relaxed.

Sa tingin ko kung kasama ko si Adren sa isang horror house ay siya pa mismo ang
katatakutan ng mga nananakot. He doesn't even flinch or what. Sobrang poker face
lang ng mukha niya.

"Uuwi na tayo bukas ng umaga." I suddenly realized when we were on our way to the
hotel.

"We can go back here in the weekends if you're not busy." Adren rested his head on
my shoulder and close his eyes. "I'm tired but it was fun."

"Paano kapag ikaw 'yung busy?"

"That won't happen." A smile appeared on his face. "I'll always make time for you."

I smiled too despite knowing that I'll bring him pain sooner or later.

Nang nasa palapag na kami ng mga kwarto namin na halos magkatabi lang ay agad kong
nilapitan si Adren. He looks at me with confusion and his eyebrows were furrowed.

"Why-"
Marahan ko siyang tinulak papasok ng kwarto niya bago ko ito ni-lock. I smiled at
him sheepishly as he arched an eyebrow at me.

"Nope." He said, popping the 'P' sound. "Bumalik ka sa kwarto mo."

Lumapit ako sa kanya at umatras naman siya. Ilang beses pa akong nagtangka na
lapitan siya pero tumawid pa siya sa kabilang parte ng kama para layuan ako. He was
avoiding me at all costs and it seriously pissed me off.

"Bakit ka nakikipag-patintero sa akin?"

"Bumalik ka muna sa kwarto mo." He sounded annoyed and his eyebrows were furrowed.

"Para kang ewan! Bakit ka lumalayo?"

"Bakit ka lumalapit?" he fired back.

"Bakit bawal?" nagtaas ako ng kilay sa kanya.

Umupo si Adren sa kama niya habang tinatanggal ang sapatos niya. He looks up to me
when he noticed I was staring.

"Arri, what do you want?"

"Gusto mo ba talaga malaman?" I wiggled my eyebrows and went near him. Umupo sa
tabi niya at tumikhim.

"So, legal age na tayo 'di ba?" I stated the obvious.

"Hm?"

"Pwede naman na siguro tayong..." uminit bigla ang pisngi ko.

"Pwede na tayong matulog nang mahimbing." Ngumisi siya habang tinatanggal ang relo
niya.

This guy is enjoying it!

I pouted. "Adonis..."
I stroked his face as I leaned my lips to his. He gave me a long and deep kiss. At
first, I was surprised but I gradually followed his lead even though he was
exploring my mouth. This was the wildest kiss I've ever experienced. Halos kapusin
ako sa hininga nang lumayo kami sa isa't isa.

"Arri..." he continued the kiss. It was ticklish as his kisses trailed on my neck.
I tilted my head and close my eyes as my hands travelled through his hair.

As he was busy showering me with kisses, I was unbottoning his polo. He stiffens
when I reached for his belt.

"Arri." He stopped and shakes his head. "I can't. We can't."

I cursed when I saw how serious he was. Agad siyang lumayo sa akin pero pinigilan
ko siya.

"C'Mon! Gusto mo ba may parent's permit pa bago natin 'yon gawin?!" I cried in
frustration. "Terno pa naman 'yung suot ko ngayon!"

Adren's lip twitched as he bit his lower lip. "No, I just don't think it's the
right time."

"We're already legal!"

"Arri..." his eyes softens as he sat next to me. "Believe me, you don't know how
much this means to me."

I was crying. I didn't care if I looked desperate infront of him. I didn't care if
I looked like I wanted it so bad. It was the only thing I could give to him to
prove that in this life, I loved him first. Tangina. Napahilamos ako habang
nanginginig sa kakaiyak.

Dahil alam ko na hindi ako sigurado kung may mababalikan pa ako. Hindi ko alam kung
mahihintayan niya ba ako kapaga kaya ko na siyang i-paglaban. Kung makikita pa ba
niya ako kapag nasa tuktok na siya.

I just wanted to make him feel that I really loved him. Kahit ngayong gabi lang. We
are still too young, I know. And maybe I'm being deluded by the possible longing
for him once I leave him.

"Arri, I'm sorry." He kissed the top of my head. "I want to marry you. I want to
have kids with you. I really want to do it too but it's just not the right time
yet."

"D-do you hate those who engaged in premarital sex?"

Maybe he's religious? Maybe he's primitive? Bakit ba ayaw niya?!

"No, of course not," Umiling-iling siya.

"It's their body so they can do whatever they want with it and sex is normal,
Arri."

"E, bakit ayaw mo?" napapaos kong tanong, ramdam ko ang pamamaga ng mga mata ko
nang iangat ko ang tingin ko sa kanya.

He wiped the remaining drops of tears in the side of my eye. "Do you want me to be
honest?"

"It felt like you're obligated to give it to me..." he continued to kiss me on my

cheeks. "But it shouldn't be that way, we have all the time in the world."

“Pero mahal kita, mahal mo rin naman ako...”

“A sexual intercourse isn't needed to prove that, Arri. You don't even know how
much you make me feel loved and it's clearly enough for me.” he chuckled.

You're wrong. This was our last night. It should have been memorable...

Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kanya.

"I love you, Arri." He cupped my face and made me look at him. "I do not know how
long I will live, it's not going to be forever for sure. I can't promise you I'll
love you always because we're not exactly always in love, but I'll try to love you
every single day during the time I live with you."

"Ayaw mo talaga? Final answer?" humihikbi ako, pero tinawanan lang ako ni Adren.

"There's always a right time for that. At ayoko naman isipin ng Mama mo na kaya
tayo umalis ay para roon. I respect your family, Arrisea. And honestly this hotel
isn't that fancy enough for my taste," biro niya sa akin.

Pinalaki ako ni Mama na maging matapang. I was born being judged simply because
they didn't like my Mom and I had no father. The last time I cried this hard was
because I learned that my Mom had to work four shifts just to make sure we'll
survive in this world.

Adren was kissing my eyelids as I continued sobbing.

"Mahal na mahal kita, ha?" I opened my eyes and forced myself to smile. "Tandaan mo
'yan, ha? Kahit anong mangyari saatin, tandaan mong mahal kita. Hindi 'yon
magbabago."

"I love you, everyday." Adren sounded breathless.

Nanghihina akong lumapit sa kanya upang halikan siya. I kissed him with the
remaining strength I have.

That night, nothing happened. Yet our kisses were as if it was the last time we'll
ever kissed each other.

He even insisted that we should still sleep in separate rooms. Kinonsensya pa nga
ako na sayang 'yung bayad sa kabilang kwarto kung hindi ko ito tutulugan. Hanimal,
alam niya talaga na big deal sa akin ang gastusin!

"Happy Birthday." I greeted Adren as I was brushing his hair while he was asleep.
"I'm glad we were born in the same lifetime, same place, and same universe."

I reached something from my pocket. It was a ring with a moon encraved on it. I
slide it on his ring finger as I kissed his knuckles. Time may passed but just like
the moon, I'll always come back every night. You may love me everyday, so give me
the opportunity to love you every night where the sun isn't there and only the moon
is your light.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

I realized how important dreams are for those who are still starting with their
lives. It serves as your motivation to move forward despite the constant obstacles
you have to face. As long as you have your dreams, you're motivated to do better
and look forward for life.

"Bingi ka ba? Ang sabi ko, ayoko na sa'yo." I can taste the bitterness in my tone.

Adren was looking at me with disbelief. I've been practicing this line for as long
as I remember. Kumakabog ang dibdib ko sa kaba na baka bawiin ko 'yon.

"What the hell, Arri? Is this a prank?" Tumawa siya pero huminto."It's not funny."

The look on his face makes me tremble in fear. Natatakot ako na baka hindi ko ito
mapanindigan at malaman ni Adren ang totoo.

"Alam mo 'yung mga tsismis na ginamit lang kita para linisin ang pangalan ko?
That's true." Ang tingin ko ay nasa mga kuko, iniiwasan na tingnan siya. "But
you're boring."
"What the fuck, are you trying to say?" his breathing hitched.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang lumingon kay Adren. He looks mad, desperate and hurt. His
eyes kept on blinking and lips are parted.

"I s-said l-lets break up." Pumikit ako nang mariin. "I don't want to be involve
with you anymore."

As I was about to turn around. I felt his arms embracing as he rested his head on
my shoulder.

Don't make this hard for the both of us, please.

"Adren, tigil na natin 'to." sabi ko habang pinipilit tanggalin ang pagkakayakap
niya sa akin.

Nagsimulang mamula ang gilid ng mga mata niya.

"I can't lose you. I can lose everything but not you."

"Edi sorry na lang sa'yo. Lalaki ka lang. Kaya kitang mapalitan." Pinilit kong
ngumiti. Mapakla ito at kahit ang sarili ko ay hindi ko makumbinsi na masaya ako.

Nakita ko kung paano gumuho ang mundo niya sa harap ko.

His face lost it's color.

Malalim ang bawat paghinga niya.

Adren. Mas pipiliin kong masaktan ka ngayon. Ayokong balang araw ay pagsisisihan
mong minahal mo ako- dahil hinding-hindi ko pagsisisihan na minahal kita kahit
gaano kasakit.

"You're lying...Please tell me you're lying." Mas lalong humigpit ang yakap niya.
Nararamdaman ko ang mabilis na pagtibok ng puso niya.

"Hindi kita mahal. Ginamit lang kita. Tama naman sila." Tinulak ko siya para
matanggal ang pagkakayakap niya saakin.

Lumandas ang mga luha sa mata niya. "I love you, Arrisea. You can use me all you
want-"
"May mahal na rin akong iba."

Sa pagkakataong ito, napatingin siya sa akin. The agony was evident in his face,
para siyang pinipiga sa sakit. And my heart is feeling the pain just by looking at
him.

"How many lies do you have to tell me? Do you really want me gone?" napapaos niyang
tanong.

Pinipigilan ko ang mga luha ko na bumagsak.

"Obvious ba?"

Napatingin siya sa akin. Sarkastiko siyang tumawa. Nararamdaman ko ang sakit sa

kanyang boses.

Magiging okay ka rin, Adren. Hindi ito ang unang beses na nasaktan. Makakalimutan
mo rin ako. Pero hindi kita makakalimutan.

"You shouldn't have come to my life if you didn't plan to stay." Nanginginig ang
boses niya bago niya ako tinignan sa mga mata.

I can only see betrayal in his eyes.

"Tangina. Tinuruan mo ako magmahal ulit para lang durugin ako. Maraming salamat,
Arrisea." Pumikit siya nang marahan bago ako tinalikuran.

Napasalampak ako sa sahig.

Hindi makapaniwala sa mga sinabi at ginawa ko.

Gusto ko siyang habulin at sabihing walang katotohanan ang mga sinabi ko.

Pero hindi ko magawa dahil hindi ko naman kayang matustusan ang magiging kabayaran
nito.

Our love was risky from the start. Ang pagmamahal ay para lang sa mga taong kayang
sumugal. Alam ko iyon kaya naman kaya kong i-sugal ang lahat ng meron ako para sa
kanya pero...

Hindi ko kayang i-sugal ang pangarap ni Adren para lang sa pagmamahal namin. Hindi
ko kayang makita siya ang mawawalan para sa amin.
I would rather lose our love than see him lose himself for us.

"Pst," a voice came from the second floor. I look above and saw Etienne leaning on
the railings with a sly smile on his face.

"Hala ka, Ate. Pinaiyak mo." He gestured it using his index finger.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 28 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 28

Kumalat ang balita na hiwalay na kami ni Adren. At parang mga bubuyog na hayok sa
bulaklak, dinagsa ito ng mga opinyon ng tao.

"Malandi kasi, malamang hindi makukuntento sa isang lalaki 'yon."

"Adren is a catch. Maswerte lang si Arrisea na maganda siya kaya nagkaroon sa kanya
ng interes 'yung tao."

"But a pretty face cannot hide her rotten personality!"

Hinintay ko na humupa ang tao sa restroom saka ako lumabas ng cubicle nang wala na
akong marinig na mga boses. I decided to tie my hair, binuksan ko ang gripo at
pinakiramdaman ang malamig na agos ng tubig galing dito. I used it to washed my
face, to freshen up.

Bumuntong hininga ako bago lumabas. I could feel people looking at me. Sari-sari
ang kanilang mga ekspresyon, it's either pity, disgust or happiness expressed
through their faces. Depende siguro sa bersyon ng kwento na narinig nila.

I forgot that no matter how little his social circle was, Adren is an influential
person. Dagdag pa na kaibigan niya si Gio, kaya naman madalas ay maraming
nakakakilala sa kanya.

"Hey, Arri."

Lumingon ako kay Gio na mukhang may gustong sabihin pero hindi makapag-salita.

We were currently at the chapel, nagdadasal ako nang taimtim nang dumating itong si
Gio.

"Bakit?"
"Ano bang nangyari sa inyo?" He asked and kneel beside me. "Tell me, may ginawa ba
sa'yo si Adren nung nag-Subic kayo? Kasi kung ganoon, I won't tolerate my friend.
Pero kung ikaw naman ang may ginawa, I won't be taking your side too."

"Ayoko na kasi sa kanya." Pumikit ako habang nakayuko, hands clasped in prayer.

Gio rose an eyebrow. "That's it?"

Umiwas ako ng tingin."Oo, kaya tulungan mo na lang siyang mag-move on."

"He still loves you," Bumuntong hininga siya. "For what it's worth, you were
probably the only person he loved."

"He'll find another o-one, eventually. Maraming babae sa mundo, Gio."

Gio sighs, "You're right, there are a lot of other people to love yet you can't
have the same love twice."

Tumayo si Gio at nagpamulsa. Nag-sign of the cross siya bago lumabas ng chapel.
Sumunod naman ako at humingi pa ng kapatawaran dahil nag-sinungaling na naman ako.

"Sumalangit ka na, Etienne." He said before completely departing the chapel.

"Gagio." I chuckled when we were heading to Bonanza Area.

The following weeks were hell for me. Before I broke up with him, nagpakita muna
ako ng mga motibo na nagsasawa na ako. He chase after me when I told him I wanted
us to be done. Flowers and expensive food was always on my table, pero pinapamigay
ko lang ito. The last time we've talked was probably the last straw for him.

“Akin na lang talaga, Arrisea?” Franny asked, pertaining to the chocolates and
flowers. “Babaita ka, kawawa 'yung tao. Seryoso talaga 'yata sa'yo 'yon.”

“Pabayaan mo siya, magsasawa rin 'yon...” I kept on writing on my notebook, kahit

wala naman talaga kaming sinusulat. Ayoko lang malaman ni Franny ang totoo kong
nararamdaman.

In the back of my mind, I was also doubting my decision. Paano kung kaya naman
niyang patunayan na karapat-dapat naman talaga siya mamahala sa mga negosyo nila?
But I was a constant dirt on his clean reputation, I will always be someone who's
not fit for him.

“Arrisea, you don't always have to be strong...” hinilig ni Suzy ang kanyang ulo sa
aking balikat. She's back to her normal self, kahit medyo may bahid na ng dungis
ang kanyang pangalan.

Noong huling assembly, naging topic ang fake nude ni Suzy para linisin ang pangalan
niya sa buong school at maayos ang issue tungkol sa pagpapakalat ng mga gano'ng
klaseng bagay. May kaso na rin laban kay Pamela at Luis, inaasikaso ito ng magulang
ni Suzy.

“I don't have a choice, at kung meron man akong choice...I'll still stick with
being strong,” sagot ko na lang. I don't have the privilege to be weak, dahil alam
kong mas hindi ko kakayanin kung magiging mahina ako ngayon.

Ilang oras, araw at linggo ang lumipas bago ko natanggap na wala na kami. May mga
araw na aakyat dapat ako ng rooftop pero maaalala ko na hindi na namin lugar 'yon.

Isang araw, dala na lang ng pagkasabik na muli siyang makita ay sinubukan kong
umakyat sa rooftop. Dahan-dahan ko pang binuksan ang pinto upang hindi ko siya
maistorbo kung sakaling nandito man siya.

He was not there.

It was empty and the tiles were already full of dust. Naalala ko noon sinabi ni
Adren na madalas niya itong nililinis dahil nga ito ang tambayan niya.

The rooftop was already deserted. Bitterness crawled it's way to my heart.

How cruel can you be to make someone leave their haven? Of course, pinuno mo ito ng
mga alaala mo na pilit niyang dapat kalimutan upang mawala ang sakit.

The worst break ups were probably the ones where you end up cutting every string
you have with each other. No closures and it had to end that way. All of your
memories with them will turn into dust and ashes you can't seem to clean or wipe
off.

Bumaba na ako nang mapagtantuan na huli na ang lahat. The only thing that soothes
me is that I know he'll still have his company and Tatiana won't be his problem
anymore.

I accepted a job from Les Gens since I'm already of legal age. Assistant lang naman
ako sa bartender kaya madali lang ang trabaho. I don't actually need the cash but
it was a good way to divert my attention.

Actually, I need the cash. Who am I kidding?

Tumambay ako sa Gonza Hall dahil tapos naman na ang mga meeting sa iba't ibang
subjects ko sa semester na ito. Araw-araw na lang kaming may ginagawa, non-stop ito
at para bang hindi sila makakahinga kung hindi kami bibigyan ng gawain.

"Arrisea."

I turned around to face the person who called me. My lips parted as I saw the
person walking towards my direction. It was Solstice and she was also wearing the
UJD uniform. Her aura still screams elite.

She sat down beside me, her eyes were criticizing me. Nagtaas naman ako ng kilay sa
kanya.

"How much for you to take him back?"

Nabulunan 'yata ako sa sarili kong laway. Ano raw? Mali 'yata ako nang
pagkakarinig? Tinatanong niya ako kung magkano para balikan ko si Adren?

"Mali ka 'yata ng tanong? Isn't it supposed to be how much for me to stay away from
him?"

Solstice deadpanned. "I'm serious, magkano para balikan mo si Adren? Magkano ba

binayad sa'yo ni Etienne para layuan mo siya?"

"What? Hindi ako bayaran at hindi binayaran ni Etienne..."

Solstice's eyes widened as if a something struck her. "What do you mean?"

Pareho kaming nakatingin sa isa't isa na may pagtataka. Ilang beses pa akong
kumurap-kurap dahil iba ang titig saakin ni Solstice. Napasapo siya sa kanyang noo
at pumikit nang mariin.

"Don't tell me you followed him like a devoted follower?" She sighed. "Naniwala ka
sa kanya?"

"Naniwala sa alin?"

"Etienne is zero percent honest." Solstice said with disdain. "He only says his
version of truth."

"A-ano?"

Para akong binuhusan nang malamig na tubig. Naramdaman ko ang pagiging manhid ng
aking buong katawan sa sinabi niya. Hindi ko masikmura ang isiniwalat nito sa akin.
Hinawakan niya ako sa kamay at hinaltak papunta sa kung saan. She went towards the
main computer lab where Etienne was busy typing. Walang ng ibang tao rito at si
Etienne na lang mag-isa. Tumigil siya sa pagtitipa at inangat ang tingin sa'min.

"Hello, Lavy." Ngumiti siya kay Solstice na ngayon ay hindi na maipinta ang mukha.

Lovey? Or Lavy? What.

Gulong-gulo naman akong nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin sa kanilang dalawa.

"Anong sinabi mo kay Arrisea?" parang bulkan si Solstice na ilang minuto na lang ay
sasabog na. Her cold exterior was easily replaced with pure wrath.

"What do you think? The truth." Etienne leaned back on his chair and the side of
his lips rose in amusement.

"To hell with your truths!" Hindi na nakapagpigil si Solstice at kwinelyuhan si

Etienne. Napatayo naman si Etienne dahil sa ginawa niya.

Etienne was looking at Solstice closely with a wicked smirk on his lips. He seems
to be enjoying seeing her mad as a bull.

Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. Should I stop them? In the back of my mind, I know I
should but I was also curious. Ano ba talaga ang totoo?

"Aw, Lavy. Ganyan ka ba pinalaki? You're so violent." Etienne said, full of

mockery.

Parang lalong binuhusan ng gas ang nagbabagang galit ni Solstice. It was as if

Etienne knew how to push her buttons.

"Anong sinabi mo kay Arrisea? Bakit niya hiniwalayan si Adren?"

Etienne's eyes softened as he caressed Solstice's cheek. Nakita ko na bahagyang

natigilan siya dahil sa ginawa nito.

"I only gave you what you wanted. You said you wanted his company," he chuckles and
licked his lower lip. "Didn't he gave up the position by now?"

"T-teka, pwede niyo naman siguro ako isali sa usapan niyo?" naguguluhan kong tanong
sa kanila.

Binitawan ni Solstice si Etienne at lumingon saakin, tears pooled under her

eyelids. Hindi ko alam kung dahil sa galit o ano.
"Adren wants to give me his shares. Do you know what that means?" she winced when
she looked at me and continued, "it means he's basically giving me the company."

Nag-tiim bagang ako. Adren would do that?! Pero pangarap niya 'yon! Sa kanya dapat
'yon...

Lumingon ako kay Etienne, he was fixing the collar of his uniform while arching an
eyebrow at me. He slacken off on his chair and crossed his legs.

"Akala ko? Ang sabi mo, ito ang paraan para hindi siya madawit sa gulo namin ni
Tatiana? Para masigurado na sa kanya ang kompanya nila?" usal ko habang
pinapakiramdaman ko ang parang tambol na pagtibok ng aking puso.

"I also told you that truths can be twisted." A ghost of smile appeared on his
lips.

Napatigalgal ako habang unti-unting rumirihistro sa aking utak ang sinabi ni

Etienne.

"What did this jerk told you?" Solstice asked, angrily.

"Ang sabi niya ay masisira ang pangalan ni Adren sa kompanya niyo kung patuloy
siyang makikipagkita sa akin. Dahil nadawit ang pangalan ko sa maaaring maging
butas para sa kanya. It was the only way to make sure he won't face any possible
dirt on his name." Tuliro na rin ako dahil sa rebelasyon na napakinggan ko.

Solstice sighed dramatically, "Oh my God! And you honestly believed him?! The
Reverios can even freaking covered up a murder! A rumor like that can easily be
erased! We can even make sure that Tatiana won't ever exist!"

"B-bakit ganito, Etienne?" Nilingon ko si Etienne na kanina pa kami pinapanood. I

felt like he tricked me and betrayed my trust.

Instead of looking guilty, he looks amused and entertained. Nakapangalumbaba siya

habang ang tingin ay nasa aming dalawa ni Solstice.

"I was bored." Etienne admitted. "I just helped Lavy get what she's born for."

"Anong sinabi mo kay Adren?" Naningkit ang mga mata ni Solstice. "I knew you were
the one who manipulated him to give up his shares!"

"I simply told him what could destroy him the most." Etienne prodded, grinning.
"That his beloved Arrisea fell for me and it was because of how dark his family was
that Arri felt like he was too much for her."
This time, I was the one who was in disbelief. Naniwala naman sa kanya si Adren?
But I couldn't blame him, Etienne was oddly good with making you believe in him. He
sounded so sure, too certain and you couldn't possibly take a hint that you were
already his puppet.

"How dare you?" Lalapit ulit sana sa kanya si Solstice, nakakuyom ang mga
palad,"Why did you have to mess with my brother?!"

"Brother nga ba?" Etienne looks at her, his eyes were as cold as ice. "Uh huh, you
love him that much? Don't you think it's disgusting to call him your brother when
you're head over heels for him?"

I looked at Solstice, she was frozen on her spot. Parang ilang segundo siyang
tumigil sa paghinga dahil nanatili siyang nakatigalgal sa kanyang posisyon.

"A-ano?" hindi ako makapaniwala sa narinig ko. Parang may bombang ibinagsak sa amin
dahil sa isiniwalat ni Etienne.

"Wala kang alam." Nanginginig si Solstice, unti-unting lumalandas na ang mga luha
galing sa kanyang mata. She was biting her lip so hard that it started to bleed.

"Ampon." Etienne taunted and I could see how Solstice's immediately stopped
functioning.

"That's foul!" bulyaw ko kay Etienne.

"Psycho!" Sol glared at him before storming out.

"Bakit mo 'yon ginawa? Anong ginawa ko sa'yo? Anong ginawa sa'yo ni Adren?" Sunod-
sunod na tanong ko sa kanya.

"Wala." Etienne answered, puffing his cheeks. "Trip ko lang."

I was rendered speechless, nanatiling nakaawang ang bibig ko.

“Gago ka ba?!” kinuwelyuhan ko siya. “Ano bang ginawa ko sa'yo?! Why did you have
to do this?!”

“I don't care. Magalit na kayong lahat. I only did what I deemed the easiest way
for everyone to have peaceful lives.”

“Peaceful lives?! Sinira mo ang mga buhay namin!” singhal ko sa kanya, binitawan
ang hawak sa kanyang kwelyo.
“You think Tatiana would really stop? You think money would be enough to silence
them? They know they'll get more if they have the Reverios in their hands, Arrisea.
And you think your family is safe from being disgrace once the real truth gets
out?” sunud-sunod niyang sambit, natutop naman ang aking bibig.

“Anong alam mo?” naningkit ang aking mga mata.

“I know things that I shouldn't even know,” he smirked. “Tulad na lang na balak
sanang ilabas ni Tatiana na anak kayo ng mga kapatid mo sa labas.”

I went numb. Gagawin niya 'yon? She'll go that low? Para saan? Para kay Adren?
Gano'n niya ito kamahal? She's willing to destroy another person for his love?

Nanikip ang dibdib ko. I hurted him for nothing, pero tama rin naman si Etienne. I
can't risk the security of my family. Kung ako ay kaya ko ang pamamahiya ng iba,
hindi ko nakikita ang pamilya ko sa parehong sitwasyon. I don't want them to be
judged.

“I know you think this is helping us. Pero lalo lang gumulo ang lahat, Etienne.” I
sighed. “I love Adren, I could have handle my own problems without dragging him
into it.”

Tatiana was my problem, dapat labas na si Adren dito. Bakit ba kasi pinangunahan
ako ng katangahan?! I don't even know if my decisions were good. I just didn't want
Adren to succumbed to the lowest.

I left him because I thought I'll be a hindrance to his dreams. Pero mukhang hindi
ko pa 'yata alam kung ano talaga ang pangarap niya. To think he was willing to let
go of his shares that easily...

"What did Adren do to deserve that kind of love?" He looks at me like a child who
didn't get his whims.

“Pareho lang naman kami kung tutuusin. Pero bakit may nagmamahal sa kan'ya?” he
mumbled, pain was surging through his voice.

Nagulat ako nang tumayo si Etienne at lumapit sa akin. He close the distance
between us and I could feel his anger even though his face remained cold.

"It's not fair, Arri." he sounded betrayed and broken at the same time."That's so
fucking unfair."

"Fix this mess. Hindi mo pwedeng gawin ang mga ito dahil trip mo lang o kung ano
man ang dahilan mo," I told him. "I treated you as friend, Etienne. Kaya naniwala
rin ako sa'yo dahil trinato kitang kaibigan."
"I don't want to." Etienne said icily. "Even if I had to pull some strings to
remain things this way - I would."

"Bakit ka ba galit kay Adren? Bakit mo ito ginagawa?!" I said out of frustration.

He smirked, bitterly.

"You may be right that love is always good." He licked his lower lip before
grinning. "But you forgot that love can also make you irrational and when you're
irrational - you do bad things."

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 29 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 29

Araw-araw kong ginugulo si Etienne na ayusin ang gusot na ginawa niya. Sometimes
he'll answer me with sardonic remarks but most of the time, he'll only send me
infuriating memes. Ang nakakainis pa ay katabi ko lang naman siya pero mas pipiliin
niya pang kausapin ako gamit ng pag-text saakin.

Alam niya kasing wala akong load at hindi ako makakapag-reply. Bwisit.

"Hindi ka ba galit sa akin?" sa kalagitnaan ng pangungulit ko ay bigla siyang

nagtanong.

Nasa isang resto kami ngayon na malapit sa school.

Inisip ko kung galit ako sa kanya. It is true that he manipulated me into thinking
that this relationship can make Adren suffer, pero sa huli ako pa rin naman ang may
kasalanan. Naniwala ako sa kanya. Although, I just need some push from him in order
to fix things.

I decided to throw a joke.

"Siguro? I mean, sayang lang 'yung mga panahon na nag-drama ako at nakikinig sa mga
pangmalakasang kanta."

Aba, ilang buwan din 'yata na puro lang akong pakikinig sa mga kantahan na pang-
senti. Muntikan ko na nga itong i-suggest sa interpretative dance namin sa PE.

Etienne only stared, his grey eyes piercing through me. Sumilay ang isang ngisi sa
labi niya.
Nag-pangalumbaba siya. "You've always been a positive thinker; always seeing the
good in people to the point of actually just disregarding whatever bad things
they've done."

"Masama ba 'yon?" Tumaas ang isang kilay ko.

"Hindi naman," He said, shrugging. "Pero hindi lahat ng tao ay tulad mo. Not
everyone has the heart for forgiveness."

My eyebrows furrowed.

"Wala naman akong nakikitang mali kung palaging 'yung mabuti lang ang tinitingnan
ko."

Etienne chuckled. "That's the root of being blinded by love. Ang mga tunay na bulag
sa pag-ibig ay ang mga taong hindi kayang tanggapin na hindi perpekto ang kanilang
minamahal. Palagi na lang nilang pinipilit tingnan ang mabuti at nagbubulag-bulagan
pagdating sa maling ginawa ng mahal nila."

Umiling ako sa kanya.

"I accept Adren's flaws."

His stare was unwavering. "Do you?"

"Yes —"

He cut me off.

“Really? You don't know him that well...”

“Mahal naman ako no'n? Kapag mahal mo, madali lang ang magpatawad.”

“Not in their household...” he shrugged his shoulders. “Adren isn't someone who can
forgive easily.”

“Alam ko naman na may kasalanan ako at gusto ko lang malaman niya na pinagsisisihan
ko 'yon.”

"Then I'll let you meet someone."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Sino?"

He licked his lower lip before smirking. "The person who gave him a reason not to
forgive in the first place."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Etienne and I went to another restaurant. Mas magarbo ito sa unang restaurant na
pinanggalingan namin. The gigantic chandelier in the middle of the restaurant tells
me that this is exclusively for those who can afford to buy a full course meal in
expensive hotels.

"Here," Etienne pulled the chair for me. Umupo naman ako matapos niya 'yon gawin.

Umupo rin siya sa upuan sa tabi ko at nagsimulang magkalikot ng kanyang cellphone.

Ilang minuto lang ay may babaing pumunta sa direksyon namin. She looks extravagant,
all dressed in black and her accessories are made of pearls. She sat in the chair
infront of me.

She removed her huge sunglasses. Nang tanggalin niya ito ay mas nadepina ko ang
kanyang mukha. High cheek bones, sultry eyes and plump lips. She was also staring
at me with the same level of curiosity.

"Hello," a familliar smile appeared on her face. "You must be Arrisea?"

"Ah, opo!" I nodded my head.

"My name is Anais." She extended her hand. Ang mga daliri niya ay parang kandila,
it was flawless to look at.

Agad ko naman itong tinanggap. Binawi niya rin ang kamay niya matapos ko itong
tanggapin.

"So, what did you call me for?" bumaling siya ng tingin kay Etienne.

"May kasalanan ako sa anak mo." Halakhak ni Etienne, he didn't even sound
remorseful.

"Anak?" Kumunot ang noo ni Anais at biglang umawang ang bibig nang may
mapagtantuan. "Oh, I almost forgot about that kid."

Ako naman ay nanglalaki ang mga mata. Hindi nabanggit ni Etienne na nanay pala 'to
ni Adren! Kaya naman pala pamilyar ang kanyang ngiti at kilos.

Lumunok muna ako bago nagpatuloy. "Uh, ano po kasi may ginawa po kaming mali kay
Adonis."

"Same." She chuckled. Natawa rin si Etienne. Ako lang 'yata ang hindi nakaintindi
kung bakit.

I chewed my buttom lip. "Gusto ko po sana humingi ng paumanhin din kasi nasaktan ko
po 'yung anak niyo."

Her hand flew to her mouth, she was supressing her laughter. Hindi ko talaga
maintindihan, tinatawanan niya ba ako dahil pobre ako? Ganito ba 'tong mayayaman na
'to?

"Etienne, are you serious that this is his girl?" Ni-head to foot ako nung Mama ni
Adren. "She's a bit naivè, if you'll ask me."

Kumunot naman ang noo ko. Hindi ko alam kung saan galing ang sinabi niya ukol sa
akin. I was just being polite.

"Did Adonis cry?" she asked.

I nodded my head slowly.

She sighed. "The last time he cried was when his sister died."

"Po? Patay na po ang bunso niyang kapatid?"

"Hm? Oh? Nasundan pa pala si Solstice?" She laughs, tauntingly. "I mean the first
Solstice died. Didn't Adonis tell you?"

Naguguluhan akong lumingon kay Etienne. He only smiled lazily at me.

"She doesn't know anything at all." Etienne answered in my behalf.

"Poor you, tapos balak mo maging isa sa mga Reverio? Baka mabaliw ka rin tulad ni
Dayanara, ha?" Adren's Mom sounded concern but her face tells otherwise. She was
smiling at me, the way Adren does when we first met.

"Excuse me po, nandito lang po talaga ako para humingi ng tulong na humingi ng
tawad kay Adren." Nahihirapan akong tumingin sa kanyang mga mata. She was just too
intense to look at.

Of course, that was a lie. Oo, gusto ko at kaya ko naman siguro humingi ng tawad
kay Adren nang hindi kumukunsulta sa Mama niya. Pero dala na lang siguro ng
kuryusidad ay nagawa kong patulan na kilalanin siya.
"I don't think I'm the right person for that. Frankly speaking, we have cut ties
way before the both of you happened."

Tumikhim ako at mas lumapit sa kan'ya.

"Pero siguro naman po ay alam niyo kung paano ako o kami mapapatawad ni Adonis?"

A waitress offered her champagne and she gladly reached for a glass.

"That's certainly unlikely. I don't think that kid would forgive easily," Sumimsim
pa siya sa champagne glass bago magpatuloy. "I made sure he won't be sway with it
before I left him."

"Ano pong ibig niyong sabihin?" Naguguluhan kong tanong.

"I didn't want a kid, Arrisea. Hell, I didn't even want to get married. I wanted to
travel the world and live my life to the fullest," she said. "Sadly, this society
does not approve of a woman choosing not to procreate because in their eyes it's a
woman's duty to bear a child."

Nararamdaman ko ang galit na tinatago niya dahil sa higpit ng hawak niya sa kanyang
champagne glass. Her grip only loosen when she gave a long sigh.

"I tried to love him, Arri. The same cannot be said to his father but I really
wanted to at least gave it a try when it comes to Adonis. Wala naman siyang
kasalanan, he was also a victim."

Her breathing hitched. "But at the same time, I wanted to be free. I didn't want to
be a mother in the first place, would you condemn me for wanting to live my life
the way I want it to be?"

"I don't know a lot about being a mother but I knew as a mother, I was the first
one who introduced him to this world." A ghost of smile appeared on her lips."So, I
wanted to be the first one to destroy his expectations, to make him taste how
bitter life is, to know that no one in this world can really love someone who
wasn't even conceived because of love."

Napaawang ang labi ko sa mga narinig ko sa kanya. Nanay ba talaga siya? Siguro ay
nabulag ako sa ideyang kapag ina mo ito ay awtomatikong siya ang unang taong
nagmahal sa'yo mula nang isinilang ka. She was right, she was not fit to be a
mother.

"Adren deserves to be love," giit ko.

Mas lalong lumalim ang kanyang mga mata. I can see how much she hated this topic.
The mere mention of Adren's name is already making her uncomfortable.

"If he does, then why did you leave him too? Wasn't his family too problematic?"
She retorted.

Lumingon ako kay Etienne, silently asking for help to answer it. He was just
minding his own business by playing on his phone. This jerk, really!

Bumalik ang atensyon ko sa Mama ni Adren. "I left him for his own good. Para sa
kanya—"

"You left him because you do not trust him." She countered back, kalmado ngunit may
diin.

Natigilan ako at biglang nanghina sa sinabi niya. Her words were cruel but it made
me doubt my own decision. Tama nga naman siya, kung may kompyansa lamang ako kay
Adren ay hindi ko sana nilinlang ang sarili ko na pakinggan si Etienne.

"Kung ako sa'yo, habang maaga pa ay lalayo na ako sa mga Reverio. They're twisted
and any normal person would go insane in that household. Etienne's a better choice,
at least the Soteiros won't mistreat you." Bumaling siya ng tingin kay Etienne at
humalakhak.

Etienne lift his head and lazily grinned at me."My family won't screw you but I
would."

Ngumiwi ako. Etienne was way too twisted for my taste. Sa totoo lang, nagiiba na
talaga ang tingin ko sa mga mayayaman dahil sa kanila.

“Bakit ganyan ka sa anak mo po?” I can't help but asked. “All he ever wanted was to
be loved.”

Nakita ko ang panginginig ng kanyang kamay. She didn't look like someone with grace
anymore. Tiningnan niya ako sa mga mata, I saw how scared she was. Pinilit niya ang
sarili niyang ngumiti. The contempt on her smile makes my skin crawl.

“Adren reminds me of the things I've done to gain this freedom. I needed to show
them I wasn't fit to be his mother. I wanted to free from the Reverios...”

“Alam niyo po ba, pwede niyo naman pong makuha ang freedom na hinahangad niyo nang
hindi sinasakripisyo ang kasiyahan ng anak niyo?”

Umiling-iling siya sa'kin. Sumimsim muli sa kanyang champagne bago bumuntong

hininga.
“A woman had to sacrifice a lot of things when they give birth to another human
being, Arrisea. I'm a selfish person and I didn't want those responsibilities.
That's my choice. Pero anong ginawa nila? They force me to—”

“They did. Hindi si Adren,” matigas kong usal. “Kaya kung magagalit ka man, bakit
sa anak mo? Anong ginawa sa'yo ni Adren para pagkaitan mo siya ng pagmamahal?”

“Wala kang alam,” malamig niyang utas. “The mere fact that he exists is already
making me feel disgusted.”

Unti-unting lumandas ang mga luha sa mata ko. I rarely cried but the overflowing
emotion on my heart cannot be tamed. All those years Adren had to suffer.

I gave him a taste of love.

Pero pinagkait ko sa kanyang makuha ito nang tuluyan.

What makes me different from these monsters?

“You can be an independent woman without hurting your son, you know?” huling
pahayag ko sa kanya.

Iniwas lamang niya ang kanyang tingin bago siya umalis nang padarag. She made a
scene. Etienne looked at me while playing with the table napkin.

“You can't blame Adren if he doesn't trust you anymore.” Etienne says. Lumingon ako
sa kanya. “He was raised in a household where trusting is never easy.”

“Why didn't she pay for her crimes? She emotionally abused him...”

“The Reverios will do everything to keep their reputation as clean as it can be. Sa
tingin mo ba, papayag silang malaman ng karamihan ang baho nila?” aniya.

I wiped my tears away. Pinahid ko ito hanggang sa mamula na ang gilid ng aking mga
mata.

“I'll make him trust me again.”

Akala ko ay hindi talaga ako tutulungan ni Etienne. But he's oddly cooperative.
Maybe he really just wanted to do things in his own way, pero hindi ito gumana.
Traydor kasi ang puso ko.

Alam ko naman ang tama, pero bakit pinipili ko ang mali?

This could have ended if only I can let him go. Tapos na kami. Ako mismo ang
nagtapos sa aming dalawa. Pero bakit ako nangungulila?

In the end, I was left with no choice but to fix this damn mess myself.

Nang makahanap ako ng araw kung saan pwede kong kausapin si Adren ay sakto namang
nakita ko siya sa student lounge. My heart was palpitating loudly that I could feel
it on my own pulse. Dahan-dahan akong lumapit sa kanya pero nakita ko siyang may
kausap.

It was a girl.

"Parang ewan e! So, game ka ah? See you sa Saturday!" The girl giggled and Adren
smiled at her.

"Whatever you want, Cait."

I looked at the girl he called Cait. This girl oddly looks like Zafirah. No'ng una
ay akala ko nga si Zafi ito, pero mas demure kumilos ang babaing ito at walang
katarayan ang kanyang mukha.

Napukaw ko 'yata ang atensyon nila dahil agad silang lumingon sa akin nang tumagal
ang pagtitig ko kay Cait. I sauntered my way to them.

"Uh, hi?" medyo awkward na bati ko sa kanila. I was expecting Adren to ignore me or
probably throw a fit. Pero ngumiti lang siya sa akin.

"Hello, Arrisea. It's been a while." Adren smiled.

This only made it feel more awkward. Pero pinilit ko ang sarili ko na maging
kalmante upang makausap siya nang maayos.

"Oh, so you're Arrisea? Nice to meet you. I'm Caitlyn, but you can call me Cait."
The girl beside him extended her hand. Tinanggap ko naman ito, we shake hands and
after that I took my hand back.

"Can we talk? Adren?" seryosong saad ko.

Tiningnan niya lamang ako. Indifference painted all over his face.

He nodded his head. "Sure but aren't we talking now?"

I nibbled my lower lip and look at Caitlyn. Agad naman na tumango si Caitlyn at
nilingon si Adren.

"Baka, she means privately? Aalis na lang ako." Caitlyn took a hint and was about
to go when Adren hold her hand.

Pinigilan ko ang paninibugho sa aking puso. Break na kami, sa ngayon. Wala akong
pinanghahawakan — pero lintik na kamay 'yan sarap putulin!

I close my eyes before letting out a breath. She's good and she's helping me. This
doesn't feel right.

"It's not necessary to leave besides we should talk about our outing." Bumaling si
Adren kay Cait.

Mukhang hindi siya interesado sa gusto kong sabihin. Nanlamig ako at bumagsak ang
aking mga braso dahil doon.

Cait was eyeing me sideward. "We can talk about it later, Adren."

"Fine," Adren sighed. "Call me before you go home, alright?"

"Clingy ha?" Cait laughed. "Opo! I'll be going now."

Habang palayo nang palayo si Cait ay lalong gumagapang ang kaba sa puso ko. We're
now alone together. Ako na puno ng kaba at siya naman na halos kasing lamig ng
antarctica.

Humugot ako nang malalim na hininga bago magsalita.

"Adren, I'm sorry." Panimula ko. "It was a misunderstanding. Akala ko ay

mababawasan ang problema mo kung maghihiwalay tayo. Ayoko lang kasi na dumagdag pa
sa mga magiging problema mo —"

He cut me off. "Okay, that's it? You're forgiven, don't dwell on it too much."

Ano?

Ganun na 'yon?

Tears pooled under my eyelids, pakiramdam ko ay sinampal ako ng katotohanan. It's

easy to say sorry but it's hard to be forgiven. Totoo nga ito dahil pakiramdam ko
ay hindi naman totoong pinapatawad na niya ako.
"You're lying." I spat out. "Hindi mo pa ako pinapatawad."

There's a mocking look on his face. Ang mala-anghel niyang mukha ay halos walang
pinapakitang emosyon sa akin kundi ang pagiging iritable niya. Did I really look
like an eyesore to him?

My heart sank.

"I already did. Wala na sa akin 'yon. Ano pa bang gusto mo?" He said, shrugging.

I could feel my entire system trembling down. Para itong pinasabugan dahil unti-
unti na itong gumigiba. Pinilit ko ang sarili ko na tingnan siya kahit alam kong
maaaring masaktan lang ako sa makikita ko.

I just wanted to make sure this was the same Adren who loved me before.

"Paano mo nasasabi 'yan?"

"Because it's the truth?" he arched an eyebrow.

No. Imposible.

Bakit ang bilis naman 'yata? Ako nga ay hanggang ngayon siya pa rin ang
napapaginipan. Ang umiiyak niyang mukha na nagsusumamo sa akin. Hindi ako makatulog
dahil sa eksenang 'yon na paulit-ulit pinapakita sa akin tuwing gabi.

"Totoo ba talaga?"

I badly want him to say it's not. His onyx eyes only reflected me, not even a glint
of any emotion is shown.

He smiled, a sinister thing to do knowing I was hurting in front of him. "Arrisea,

I really learned a lot from you. I hope you'll be able to move on. Let's say you
use me to get closer to Etienne, and I'll just say I used you to know how love
works. I think that's already fair?"

Para akong pinatamaan sa kidlat. Kulang pa 'yata ang sakit ng sinabi niya dahil
dinugtungan niya pa ito.

Sa napapaos kong boses, sinubukan ko siyang tanungin.

"P-paano naman ako?"

In my last attempt, I just wanted to see if he still cares even just a bit for me.
Kahit gaano 'yon katiting ay panghahawakan ko.

For a fleeting moment, his eyes showed how hurt he was but it immediately shifted
into his usual blank stare.

He smiled once again. "Hindi ba, ikaw na rin ang nagsabi? Babae ka lang, kaya
kitang mapalitan."

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 30 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 30

"Adren..."

Naniniwala pa rin ako na maaayos namin ito. I even told Sarathiel before, ang mga
lumilisan ay bumabalik kapag mahalaga ang kanilang naiwan. Pero nakalimutan ko
'yata idagdag na minsan ang mga nangiiwan ay wala na ring nababalikan.

"What?" Matamang tanong niya. "You said we were over, so get over it."

"Pakinggan mo muna kasi ako." I was crying infront of him. "P-promise, I won't hurt
you again. Sa kahit anong paraan, Adren."

My heart was shattering as my vision gets blurred because of the tears. Pakiramdam
ko ay pinong-pino ang pagtapak ni Adren sa puso ko. Pero hindi ko ito inaalintana,
I just wanted us to be together again. I just want to be with him, kahit gaano
kasakit.

He arched an eyebrow. "Promise? Like how you promise you'll never leave me?"

It hurts me that I couldn't justify it. Lahat ng binabato niya sa akin ay galing
naman talaga sa bibig at aksyon ko.

My lips quivered as I spoke. "This time, it's for real."

Umiling siya. "No, because this time I won't believe you anymore. Pwede bang
lubayan mo na ako? I'm trying my best to be at my best behavior towards you- even
if you don't deserve it."

"I'm sorry..."
The words he told me made me feel numb. Hindi ko matanggap na si Adren itong kausap
ko. Hindi ko matanggap na kaya niya pala akong saktan na parang hindi ako naging
mahalaga sa kanya. It's painful to get hurt but the pain that's brought by the
person you love was beyond any pain. It's nerve wrecking.

His eyes went somewhere and smirked. "Nandiyan na pala 'yung tuta ni Solstice."

Even in my slump state, I manage to turned around to see who it was. Nakapamulsang
lumapit si Etienne, walang bakas ng kahit anong emosyon sa mukha.

Nang makalapit si Etienne sa akin ay agad niya akong inakbayan. I could feel him
gently caressing my shoulders as if to tell me everything's okay. The small gesture
made me cry again.

Etienne grinned. "Mas bagay 'yata kung tuta ni Arrisea? What do you think, Kuya
Adren?"

Adren clenched his jaw. "Shut up."

Etienne snorted. "Makikipag-asaran ka, pikon ka naman."

I gently nudged him using my elbow. Sa tingin niya ba ay biro lang ang lahat?!

"I'm sorry." Etienne apologized. "It was all me. If you want to blame someone, ako
na lang. Labas si Ate Arrisea rito."

"Sawa na ako kay Arrisea." Malamig na saad niya. Parang tumigil 'yata ang mundo
dahil mas lalo kong dinibdib ang pananalita niya.

Alam ko, maaaring dala lamang ng galit ang mga sinasabi niya ngayon pero hindi nito
maalis ang sakit na pinaparamdam sa akin ng bawat salitang lumalabas sa bibig niya.

"Sawa na pala sa'yo e, tara hanap na lang tayo ng bago." Panga-alo saakin ni
Etienne.

"Adren..." nagsusumamong sambit ko.

"Leave me alone."

"Mahal kita." I was trembling and my chest was heaving.

"Hindi ko kailangan ng pagmamahal mo. Sa'yo na lang 'yan." Malamig niyang utas bago
niya kami iwanan ni Etienne.

I couldn't take his words against him. Nasaktan ko 'yung tao at siguro nga
nahihirapan siyang magtiwala muli. Bumuntong hininga ako.

Kumunot ang noo ni Etienne.

"Ang emo naman no'n," ismid niya. "Parang hindi nag-amok at binigay lahat ng shares
niya dahil sa'yo."

He almost gave up his position for me. Pero ayon din kay Etienne, hindi pumayag ang
Lolo ni Adren sa naging desisyon niya. At baka nga binawi rin ito ni Adren, he's a
level headed person and he knows that giving up his shares is an irrational
decision.

"He's hurting, Etienne..." pinikit ko ang aking mga mata. He has all the right
reasons to act this way. Sinaktan ko siya.

"Honestly if I knew he was a drama queen, pinabayaan ko na lang na si Tatiana ang

naging sagabal sa inyo."

"Maybe, I really should stop..." I sighed. "Siguro nga, hindi talaga kami ang para
sa isa't-isa."

Parang domoble ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. This time, I was the recipient of the
greater pain of being left behind.

I thought that the last time that I'll meet Tatiana was during the time she was
hospitalized. Pero mukhang may balak pa ang tadhana para sa aming dalawa.

Isang araw ay nakasalubong ko siya, she was in a wheelchair and she looked like she
was waiting for someone. Nagimbal ako nang bigla siyang lumingon sa direksyon ko.
Her innocent smiled smeared on her face.

"Ate..." she went towards me, a hopeful look on her face. "Nauntog ka na ba? Did
you realize how much of a slut you are? Tulad ng mama mo po?"

Ngumisi ako.

Tatiana, my bitch.

"I broke up with him, pero hindi ibig sabihin no'n ay magugustuhan ka na niya. Wake
up, Snow White. Matagal ka nang nahihimbing sa tulog mo kaya ang lakas mong
managinip." I spat out, gritting my teeth after the words left my mouth.
"Oh? Don't you know? I actually told him about your family history. Kung paano'ng
nananalaytay sa dugo mo ang pagiging malandi. Like mother, like daughter po!" she
giggled, covering her mouth to supressed it.

Napako ako sa aking kinatatayuan.

My lips parted as my gaze flew towards her, she was still giddy.

She did what?

Sinabi niya kay Adren?

Did Adren really thought I was not worth it because of it? Nanikip ang dibdib ko at
pakiramdam ko ay sasabog ito sa galit.

"Don't worry, Arrisea. Tulad ni Mommy na inalagaan ang Papa mo, I'll take good care
of Adren. He deserves someone pure and I believe that it's me," she blurted out,
clasping her hand together. Her sickening smile only made me pissed off.

Dahan-dahan niyang pinaikot ang gulong ng kanyang wheelchair. A ghastly smile

appeared on her face.

"You're not pure, Arrisea. Sa aspektong 'yon, hinding-hindi mo ako matatalo. You
may have your pretty face, so what? Madumi naman ang tingin sa'yo ng tao..."

Tinawanan ko lang ang pagiging hibang niya.

"I actually admire people who are righteous," umamin ako sa kanya. "Pero iba ang
usapan kung gagamitin ang pagiging righteous niya para makapanira o maipamukha sa
isang tao na madumi siya."

Just because someone is righteous, it doesn't give them the right to point out the
filth of others. It doesn't give them a free pass to trampled upon someone. It
doesn't make them more clean than anyone. It doesn't make them superior just
because they don't wear their stained souls on their sleeves.

"Huwag mo na lalapitan pa ulit si Adren," banta niya sa akin. Her doe eyes blazed
with anger. "I swear, everyone else will see how unpure you are and how you aren't
worth any of it."

I rolled my eyes and let her vanished from my sight. I wonder, ito ba 'yung
sinasabi ni Etienne? Love makes you do irrational things? Because, love did her so
bad.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"Stop drinking beyond your control, Ate." Sita ni Etienne habang umiiling.

Nasa Les Gens kami ngayon, it was my day off. Pero nandito pa rin ako sa trabaho.
Sari-saring kulay ng ilaw ang tanging nakikita ko dahil sa dami ng aking nainom.
Everything else is already blurred.

"I'm eighteen! And you're just Etienne." I giggled at my own joke.

"Kaya ka iniiwan e." He fired back.

Agad na nawala ang ngiti ko sa labi. Nakakainis talaga 'tong lokohin kasi mas
nakakaloko siya!

Nilayo niya sa akin 'yung ilang baso. "Hindi alak ang sagot sa problema. People
often took alcohol and think their problems would miraculously vanished."

Nilagok ko pa ang isang shot na nasa harap ko. The bittersweet taste registered to
my throat, agad akong ngumiwi dahil nabigla 'yata ang panlasa ko.

"Arri!" A familliar voice called me. Nilingon ko ito at nakitang si Gio pala. He
was waving at me while walking towards our direction.

"You're here?" tanong ko kay Gio, who had his sight on Etienne. His eyes turned to
slits.

"Underage ka pa, ah!" Gio blurted out which made Etienne frown in response.

"Hindi po ako umiinom," Etienne answered monotonously. "Kapag ba talaga eighteen

na, lasingero at lasingera?"

My half opened eyes glance at Etienne. That isn't the case, it might be true that
some actually gets excited to reach their legal age to finally experience beverages
like this, pero sa una lang naman ito. Hindi naman pangmatagalan na solusyon ang
alak.

"Lasing ka?" Halakhak ni Gio. "Bakit? Hala! Heartbroken? Same!"

Nag-apiran pa kaming dalawa. I also chuckled at him. The song Roxanne was playing
in the background.

"She's not Roxanne but she's never gonna love me." Gio muttered as he let out a
long sigh.
"Ang dadrama niyo talaga," humalukipkip si Etienne.

"Mahal ko pa rin siya e." Humihikbi ako habang nakasandal ang ulo ko sa isang bote
na hawak ko.

"Ako rin," Gio chuckled. "Pero di tayo mahal e, okay na siguro na minsan sa buhay
natin nagawa natin silang mahalin."

Sabay na napatingin kami ni Gio kay Etienne, who only raise an eyebrow while
mouthing 'what'.

Etienne shrugged. "Sorry, wala akong entry. Hindi naman ako sawi."

Sabay naming binatukan si Etienne. Ang insensitive kasi kahit kailan. Hindi man
lang inisip na nagd-drama kaming dalawa ni Gio rito.

I decided to go to the dance floor. Gusto ko sumayaw! Gusto ko maging masaya! Gusto
ko lang naman maging masaya...

"Arri! Saan ka pupunta?" Gio seeked for me amidst the crowd. Tumawa lang ako habang
naghahanap ng maiinom pa.

"Hey! Arrisea 'di ba?" a figure asked me. Agad akong tumango, medyo nahihilo na.
Ang kanyang pigura ay hindi pamilyar sa akin.

"Have this! Free drink!"

My dumb brain accepted the drink. Free drink daw e! Libre naman kaya bakit ko
tatanggihan?

I drink it, buttoms up. Lalong naging spiral ang paningin ko. I heard a girl
giggling. That voice sounded so familiar, it's almost scary.

"Sweet dreams, unpure slut."

The night was wild for me. A little too wild that I let myself act without
inhibitions. I tried to forget him just for a night. Lahat ay ginawa ko para lang
makalimot. All I remembered was I was with someone who was holding me tightly as I
kissed him wildly. He responded by slipping his tongue inside my mouth and it was
really ticklish. His fingers graze through my body and...

Then I woke up.

Masakit ang ulo ko at pinilig ito upang tignan kung inuwi ba ako nila Etienne o
Gio. The whole room was unfamilliar. It was minimalistic though with the motif of
dark colors.

I was wearing an oversized pajama. Tumayo ako pero agad na natumba dahil ang sakit
ng bandang hita ko. I was swearing because it really hurts. Napaupo tuloy ako sa
sahig.

Nabangga ba ako kagabi?

I saw my phone on the sidetable near the lamp. Kinuha ko ito at agad na tinext si
Etienne.

Arrisea:

Apartment mo ba ito o condo? Or kay Gio? Gising na ako, dalhan niyo ako ng
makakain! Thank you!

Etienne:

Bakit ngayon ka lang nag-reply?

Kagabi ka pa namin hinahanap.

I furrowed my eyebrows. Tiningnan ko ang inbox ko at nakitang tadtad ito ng

messages galing kay Etienne at Gio.

Arrisea:

Di kayo nakakatuwa, gutom na ako.

Agad na nag-ring ang phone ko at sinagot ko ito. It was Gio and he sounded
panicking.

"Nasaan ka?!"

"Uh, di ko rin alam?" I answered while roaming around the room. Nice! Ang ganda
naman ng mga palamuti niya rito.

Bumuntong hininga siya sa kabilang linya. "Can you see any landmarks? Susunduin ka
namin. Are you okay? Do you feel...anything lost?"
"Mga damit ko. Pero okay lang mura lang naman 'yon," sagot ko habang hinihilot ang
aking sentido, naramdaman ko ang pagkalam ng sikmura ko. Gutom na talaga ako.

Nakarinig ako ng mura kay Gio. "Arrisea, seryoso kasi ako."

"Seryoso rin naman ako! Damit lang 'yon."

"May masakit ba sa'yo?" Gio's voice was laced with concern.

"Oy, di niyo naman ako pinigilan kagabi. Ilang beses ba akong nabangga?"

"What do you mean?"

"Masakit 'yung bandang hita ko."

Narinig ko ang mga OA nilang reaksyon, particularly Gio. Tawa lang ang naririnig ko
galing kay Etienne.

"Ako nga," Etienne was on the line now. "Pasikot-sikot pa kasi kayo. Ate Arri, did
you had sex with someone?"

My jaw fell. Nag tiim bagang ako bago tuluyang naisip kung ano ang sinabi niya.

Ano?

What the hell?!

"No!" Agad na sagot ko. "I mean, wala akong matandaan!"

"Oh sige, salamat. Mag-panic ka na ulit Kuya Gio, wala raw siyang matandaan."
Etienne snorted.

Nagising bigla ang diwa ko dahil sa sinabi ni Etienne. Is that possible? I made
love with someone who's probably not Adren?!

Napasabunot ako sa sarili ko habang nakaupo. I'm so doomed! I shouldn't have done
anything while drunk.

I was biting my fingernails when I heard the door opening. Napatingin ako sa taong
pumasok. It was a guy who was wearing a white polo and the sleeves were rolled up
to his elbow. He looks at me and his lips parted.
"Good morning." Lumapit siya sa akin pero lumayo ako kaya natigilan siya. He
stopped from his tracks and sighed. Agad siyang lumayo at may pinuntahan.

Hindi ako makapaniwala. Unti-unting nagsilaglagan ang mga butil ng luha sa aking
pinsgi. All hopes vanished for me.

Hanimal.

It really wasn't Adren.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 31 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 31

My life was messed up. I tried to fix it, saksi ang mundo kung paano ko sinubukan
maging matatag at ayusin ito.

Ang nangyari kay Suzette, ang pagkahulog ni Tatiana sa hagdan, break-up namin ni
Adren at ngayon naman ay ito. Ano? May hahabol pa ba? Mukhang di pa sapat 'yung
sakit na pinaparanas saakin ngayon e.

Hindi na ako nag-atubili pa at hinanap kung nasaan ang damit ko. I look over the
sheets and even below the bed, pero wala akong damit na nakita. Napamura ako nang
mapansin na wala rito ang mga damit ko.

I know virginity is just an intact hymen. It isn't suppose to measure someone's

worth. Hindi ito ang basehan ng dignidad ng isang babae. Pero hindi ko lang
matanggap na nabigay ko ito sa hindi ko kilala o sa taong walang importansya sa
buhay ko.

I know people will judge me as if they know the whole truth. Ilang beses na ba
akong natawag na 'pakerengkeng', malandi, pokpok? I've lost count already. Pero
hindi ko 'yon pinapansin noon. It's not true. They don't have any basis. Pero
ngayon...

It sucks. It really does.

“Hey,” the guy called me. Agad akong lumingon sa kanya at umirap, gusto ko siyang
sugurin pero nanghihina ako. Nananaig ang galit sa aking sistema.

“Ano?! Ang baboy mo! How dare you take advantage of someone who's drunk—”

“Hoy, kumalma ka nga 'te.” Biglang lumambot ang boses niya. “Naiwan ko lang 'yung
payong ko rito kaya binalikan ko. This isn't even my condo!”

“A-ano?” natigalgal ako at parang nasemento sa aking kinatatayuan.

“I was just shock to see you. Akala ko kasi break na talaga kayo ni Adren. Who
would have thought he even brings you to his own condo? Di ko kayo kinakaya,” he
snorted, slamming the door shut as he left me with all the questions running
through my mind.

Adren? This is Adren's condo unit?

Did something happen between us?

Tiningnan ko ang hita ko, although there were purplish areas on my thighs I don't
really feel sore inside. Paano ko ba malalaman?!

The door opened again, revealing a familiar face who had a grim expression as his
eyes landed on me.

“Arri,” he uttered almost sounding affectionately. Pero hindi pa rin nagbabago ang
ekspresyon niya.

“May nangyari ba sa atin?” diretsong tanong ko.

He slowly shook his head.

“If you want to confirm it, we can even have a DNA —”

“No, I trust you.” Bumuntong hininga ako, remembering what I told his mother about
trusting him. “Why do I have bruises on my legs?”

His face hardened because of what I've said.

“Did you take any drink from any stranger last night?” tanong niya, avoiding my
question.

Umangat ang tingin ko sa kanya. Do you think I even remember anything from last
night? Wala nga akong maalala kundi naging tanga lang ako kagabi. I don't even
remember calling you or anything! Kaya bakit ako nandito ngayon?

I shrugged my shoulders, avoiding his darkening gaze.

“I'll call Etienne for you,” malamig niyang saad. He fished out his phone from his
pocket and dialled a number.

Papanindigan niya ba talaga na maging ganito sa akin? And I couldn't blame him
entirely. Pinagmukha ko siyang tanga. I should just accept that this really may be
the end for us.

Ilang minuto lang ay hinatid ako ni Adren sa baba ng kanyang condo. Etienne and Gio
were waiting for me, halata sa kanilang dalawa ang gulat nang makitang magkasama
kaming dalawa. Although, Etienne had his sight set on Adren.

"Arri, gutom ka na 'di ba? Kain muna tayo." Gio gently patted my head. "Libre ko
na. Gusto mo ba sa eat-all-you can? Bili na rin tayo ng damit mo..."

Hindi pinapansin ni Gio si Adren, dinaanan niya lang ito na parang hangin. May away
ba sa kanilang dalawa? Pero baka binibigyan ko lang ito ng meaning.

I nodded my head as Gio guided me towards the car. I can see from afar that Etienne
and Adren were talking. Seryoso silang pareho habang bumubuka ang kanilang mga
bibig.

“Arri,” Etienne decided to hug me when he was finished talking with Adren. Nagulat
ako sa ginawa niya pero agad na lumandas ang mga luha sa aking mga mata. “You can
cry now, he's gone.”

My face was still buried in Etienne's chest while we were walking towards the
parking lot. Nang makasakay na kami sa kotse ay tinamaan ako ng antok dahil sa
kakaiyak. Mabigat na rin ang mga talukap ng mga mata ko kaya ipinikit ko na ito.
Pero hindi ako makatulog. It was hard to sleep with a heavy heart.

"Isn't this rape? It doesn't look like consensual to me and she was drunk - she
wasn't in the right state." I heard Gio sighing.

Kanina pa sila tahimik at ngayon lang nagsalita dahil siguro akala nila'y tulog na
ako. They're being sensitive with me right now.

Kaya ba hindi pinapansin kanina ni Gio si Adren? Dahil akala nila ay may nangyari
sa amin?

"What if she gave her consent?" Etienne asked.

I took a peek at the both of them. Nasa gitna nila ako ngayon.

"She's intoxicated and by definition, a person who's incapacitated by alcohol

cannot clearly give their consent." Gio huffed.
"Easy naman, Attorney. Hindi mo ako kalaban." Etienne chuckled.

I heard Gio cursed.

Tumigil si Gio nang mapansin na nakadilat na ako. He was clearly avoiding to talk
about it when I'm awake. Ayaw niya siguro na mas maalala ko pa ito. Nag-iwas ng
tingin si Gio at dumungaw na lamang sa bintana.

“Nothing happened,” sagot ko sa kanila. Gio's gaze softened while Etienne only
shifted his gaze.

“Don't worry, hindi man kami okay ngayon. I don't think Adren would do that.”

Pakiramdam ko rin kasi, nandidiri sa akin si Adren. Maybe I really was a dirty
girl, tulad ng mga sinasabi nila.

Pinilit kong i-pahinga ang mga mata ko at nang idilat ko ito ay nasa parking lot na
kami ng mall.

Pumunta kami sa mall upang bumili ng damit. They were even bickering on which store
we should go to. Nanalo si Etienne kaya naman siya rin ang namili ng damit ko. It
was just a simple short-sleeve dress and a pair of doll shoes. Agad akong nagpalit
sa malapit na restroom at inayos ang sarili ko.

Namamaga na ang mga mata ko dahil sa pag-iyak. Naghilamos ako at kinuskos ito nang
kinuskos. I could feel the pain on the side of my eyes.

Kumain kami ng lunch sa Vikings, Gio insisted on paying for our meal. Kahit labag
sa loob niyang bayaran 'yung kay Etienne dahil mayaman naman daw ito at dapat may
discount daw dahil 'bata' pa raw si Etienne.

Pinilit ko ang sarili kong kumain. Wala akong gana pero nakakahiya kay Gio. He
really was exerting efforts to divert my attention.

"Ihahatid ka na namin pauwi." Etienne says.

Unti-unti akong tumango. Pinipikit na lamang ang mga mata, baka magising na ako sa
masamang panaginip na ito.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Have you ever done something crazy? Something you wouldn't think you'll do?
Something you never knew you were capable of?
"Ang bata bata, ang landi na. Maaga mabubuntis 'yan." I heard one of our neighbor's
calling me out. Ang tingin nito ay matalim nang ibaba ako sa harap ng bahay namin.

Napapikit ako nang mariin at bumaling ng tingin sa kapitbahay namin. Pagod akong
ngumisi.

"Aling Tess! Balita ko binyag na raw ng apo mo, ah? Sa anak mong si Terry? Grabe
naman, di ako invited?" I yelled at her, hitting her sour spot. Terry was her
favorite child, ang pinagmamalaki niyang anak na siyang aahon daw sa kanila sa
hirap.

Hindi siya umimik at umismid pa bago bumalik sa loob ng kanyang bahay.

Sobrang nakakawalang gana. Paulit-ulit na lang ang scenario sa buhay ko. Paulit-
ulit na lang nila akong tinatapak-tapakan.

Mukha ba akong semento, ha? Kaya ang dali lang nilang tapak-tapakan pagkatao ko?
Daan-daanan ako na parang wala lang? Kahit hindi ko sila pinapansin, ako naman
palagi ang napapansin nila.

Kailan ba ako makakatakas sa mapangmatang mundo na ito?

Do I really have to follow their standards? Do I have to compromise? Kailangan ko

ba talaga mag-adjust para sa kanila?

Will I be cleansed then? Will they finally accept me for who am I? Kung
magpapanggap lang naman ako para sumunod sa sistema nila?

Kinabukasan nang pumasok ako ay pakiramdam ko naging pinya ako bigla, ang dami
kasing mata na nakadikit sa akin. The corridors were also filled with whispering.
Hindi naman ito bago kung sakali, pero puno na naman ito ng pangalan ko.

"Si Arrisea ba talaga 'yon?"

"I heard she slept with anyone who gives her attention..."

"Ganda nga, wala namang utak. Sayang 'yung mukha niya, puro kalandian pinapairal."

Nanginginig ako habang binabaybay ang daan patungo sa room namin. My gaze shifted
towards a person who was showing off her phone. Agad akong natigilan at nanglaki
ang mga mata ko.

"Oh sh —" she cursed upon seeing me. Agad na tinago ang kanyang cellphone.
I swallowed hard. Agad na pinagpatuloy ang paglalakad sa room namin. Pagkarating ko
roon, ang mga tingin nila'y matatalim din.

"Arri," lumapit sa akin si Suzy. "Don't open your social media accounts."

I heaved a sigh, unti-unting pinikit ang aking mga mata. Kinuha ni Suzy sa aking
bag ang phone ko. Concern was written all over her face.

"Arri, we'll get through this. It is just a confession posted to our school's
fanpage. Huwag mo na lang tingnan dahil wala naman itong katotohanan," payo sa akin
ni Suzy habang malungkot akong tinitigan.

Although, pinilit ko na maging normal ang klase namin sa aking isip. I could still
feel their stares plunging through me. Kaya naman nang may pumasok na isang school
staff, hindi na sila nagtaka na ako ang puntirya nito.

Pinatawag ako sa opisina ng school administration. I haven't seen any posts about
any pictures or videos, pero pakiramdan ko ay tungkol ito rito. I'm sure unlike how
they handled Suzy's case, the blame will be put on me.

Palagi naman.

Palagi naman talagang sa babae ang sisi. It's easier to blame it to the girls, I
wonder why though? Dahil ba kami lang ang may utak para mag-isip kung ano ang tama
at mali?

Palagi kasi na 'yon 'yung dahilan. Girls should know what's right and wrong, as if
boys don't know those things.

"Tsk tsk, ang ganda mo pa namang bata ka..." the middle aged woman snickered at me.
May suot siyang salamin na may tali sa bandang tenga.

I slouched on the chair. Wala na talaga akong pakialam sa totoo lang. Pagod na
pagod na rin ako.

"A concerned student reported to us that you have been doing recording yourself
doing immoral —" natigilan ang babaing nang may tumawag sa landline na nasa tabi
niya.

"What? There's no video?" nanglalaki ang mga mata niya. "Akala ko ba? What? False
alarm?"

Bumalik ang tingin niya sa akin nang ibaba niya ang tawag. She looked apologetic,
biglang naging maamo ang mukha.
"Please go back to your classes. Everything is already settled."

"Bakit po ba ako pinatawag?" I asked, blandly.

"Wala —"

"I have the right to know. Sinayang niyo po ang oras ko."

Bumuntong hininga siya.

"Someone reported that you were having scandals and you were working in a club
for..." she cleared her throat. "Pero wala namang nakuhang mga ebidensya. Don't
worry, we'll make sure that the student who reported you will be questioned about
this."

Sa dami ng may galit sa akin, wala akong maisip kung sino sa kanila ang gusto
talagang dalhin ang pangalan ko sa putikan.

Umalis na ako nang tuluyang i-dismiss ang reklamo laban sa akin. My whole body was
just too tired, or maybe I was just drained both physically and emotionally. Para
akong lantang gulay na naglalakad.

"Arri..."

Umangat ang tingin ko sa pamilyar na boses na tumawag sa akin.

I never beg. Ni minsan sa buhay ko ay hindi ako nagmakaawa para sa isang tao. I
didn't even begged my Dad to stay. I never understood the concept of begging for
something. There were more opportunities, more people and a lot more alternatives -
why would you need to beg for it?

Pero ngayon, habang nakatayo ako sa harap niya. I learned it the hard way. If
begging means he'll love me again, I'll kneel so hard that my knees would bleed.

Maybe if he's with me again, I'll be back to my strong self? Hinang-hina na kasi
talaga ako ngayon...

"Adren..." lumambot ang aking mga tuhod, I looked at him even if my eyes were just
too tired.

He sighed, diverting his gaze. "I fixed your papers already, you can transfer to
another school."

Nalaglag ang panga ko sa sinabi niya, para akong natuod sa aking pwesto.
"Ano?"

"Kung balak mong mag-college, I already fixed your transfer papers. All you have to
do is pick a school you want —"

"Why are you doing this? Do you hate me this much? Ayaw mo na talaga akong makita?"
the pain in my voice resonated.

Sobrang dumi ko na ba talaga sa mata mo, Adren? Am I not really worth it anymore?

I couldn't swallow the lump in my throat. Despite of my vision being a blur, I

still stood tall infront of him.

"Mahal kita."

It was as if someone opened the faucet in my eyes because the tears started falling
down from my eyes.

I looked over his face because I wanted to see my Adren back. The one who offers me
genuine smiles, spoils me, and never forgets to remind me that despite of how
shitty my life is - I have him and it's all that matters.

Pero wala, e. His eyes were as cold as before and he remained stoic.

Yumuko ako, trembling because I don't know what to do anymore. Hindi ko na alam ang
gagawin ko para bumalik siya. I started bending my knees to kneel infront of him.

"Arrisea, what the hell are you trying to do?" he moves backwards.

"Do you I have to b-beg?" I look up to him, tears still falling down my cheeks.
"Kasi gagawin ko talaga. If that means I'll have you back."

"Stop that," he harshly pulled me to stand but I wouldn't budge. "Arrisea, what the
hell? Ano ba?"

"Mahal na mahal kita. Take me back, please."

People were looking at us. Some were pitying me, some were trying to know what's
going but most of the people see me as a laughing stock.

I was known as the girl who rejects every boy, now here I am- begging for a boy to
make me his girl again. Bilog nga talaga ang mundo.
I was kneeling infront of him. Hindi inaalintana ang sakit ng mga maliliit na bato
na dumidiin sa aking tuhod. The pain already made me feel numb, may mas ikakasakit
pa ba?

Tiningnan ko siya, his eyes softened and I thought he will finally see him as his
Arrisea again. Pero agad na nawala ang kislap sa kanyang mga mata.

"Stop being desperate." His cold voice was the only voice I could hear despite of
the murmurs around us. "Are you so deprived of love that you have to beg?"

Meron pa pala.

To hear the person who made you degrade yourself to this extent call you desperate
hurts a lot more. Nanikip ang dibdib ko. It was all hard to accept things for me
right now.

I knew I was desperate. I wanted him so bad that I was willing to do this. Hanggang
kailan pa? Hanggang saan pa kami aabutin nito?

Is it really worth to fight for something that's already been broken?

My shoulders began to shake, sa napapaos na boses ay pinilit kong magsalit. "Mahal

na mahal kita, Adren."

Yumuko ako, a hand ignites hope for me. Tinayo niya ako at agad kong tinignan kung
sino ito. The hope in my heart was replaced with sorrow.

It was Etienne.

Adren was just watching.

Etienne bended his legs to reached the level of my knees. Gamit ng isang panyo ay
pinagpag niya ang dumi at maliliit na bato na bumaon sa aking mga tuhod.

Matapos ito ay agad din siyang tumayo at bumaling ng tingin kay Adren.

"Final answer na 'yan? Kukunin ko na siya sa'yo." Etienne said, in a nonchalant

voice.

"Do whatever you want." Adren replied coldly, nanlalamig ako sa kanyang titig sa
akin.
Solstice strides towards us. Lumapit siya kay Adren matapos tapunan ng isang tingin
si Etienne.

"O ano? Magmamakaawa ka rin?" Etienne arched an eyebrow as a lazy smile appeared on
his face.

Solstice scoffed. "Over my dead body, I would never beg for you."

"I was feeling generous, I would have accept it without thinking twice," Etienne
snorted.

Adren only scowled. "Tapos na ba? I have to go."

Yumuko lang ako dahil sa patuloy na pagdaloy ng luha sa aking pisngi.

I could hear their heavy footsteps walking away from us.

"Hey, Arri." Etienne cupped my face as he remove the tears from my cheeks. "Pangit
mo umiyak. Di ka pwedeng maging artista."

"Makalait ka lang talaga, ano?"

Etienne smiled. "Kaya huwag ka na umiyak kasi di bagay sa'yo."

I smiled back but I know it didn't reach my eyes. I was tired of it.

Nakakapagod din pala talaga.

Paalis na dapat kami ni Etienne nang mahagip ng mga mata ko ang isang pamilyar na
wheelchair. Pero wala itong laman na tao. My eyes flickered, I only knew one person
who needs a wheelchair. Pero impossible na makaalis siya rito. She cannot walk.
Pero bakit nandito ang wheelchair niya?

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Franny, Camisha and Suzette were busy with their lives. Kinakamusta naman nila ako
pero pinipilit kong isantabi ang problema ko. They have their own lives to
prioritize and their own problems to solve. Ayoko na dumagdag pa.

Para tuloy akong ewan na umiiyak ngayon sa library. May mga patak na ng luha ang
scratch paper na nilalagyan ko ng mga plano namin para sa Entrepreneurship. Badtrip
'yung mga kaklase ko, alam naman nilang heartbroken ako tapos ginawa pa akong
leader. Gusto ba nilang puro hugot ang i-sagot ko sa customers namin?
"Ate, here po." May tumabi saakin na babaing maamo ang mukha. She has glasses and
she was offering me a pack of tissue.

"Thank you, ha?" I said as I took it from her. Agad ko akong kumuha ng tissue upang
punasan ang luha ko.

"I know life is tough, you don't always have to be okay - you just have to be
resilient. Maaring malungkot ka ngayon, pero sa susunod ay hindi na." She was
scribbling notes while talking to me. "Don't hesitate to cry po, there are studies
po that says only humans can cry because of their emotions. So it's okay to cry."

"Maraming salamat, this means a lot to me." I smiled despite of my tears. Bumaling
siya ng tingin sa akin at ngumiti nang tipid.

"I hope one day, all of your tears will be worth it."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Philomena." Tumingin siya sa orasan. "Ate, may meeting pa po akong pupuntahan. I

hope you'll be okay soon, I really hope the best for you."

Philomena. Isn't she the one that Tatiana is trying to copy? Ang type raw ni Adren?
Taga-HUMSS ba siya? I cleared my throat.

"You're so kind. Bakit? Hindi mo naman ako kilala."

She only smiled. "Kindness is free, Ate. As much as possible, I would like to give
it freely too."

It was just a small gesture but it made an impact for me.

Life goes on.

Kahit gaano kasakit ang sinapit mo. You have to move forward. Pwede ka magpahinga
pero hindi ka pwede sumuko.

Foundation week came, we were busy with our booths. Sa sobrang brokenhearted ko ay
puro nga hugot ang theme ng booth namin. Pero mukhang marami namang natutuwa dahil
marami kaming benta.

"Ano ito?" I asked in annoyance.

May sinabit kasi sila saakin na 'Free Hugs & Kisses'. Free raw pero kailangan
bumili ka muna sa booth namin, ano kaya 'yon?

"Para mapakyaw na kaagad! Jusko, magmula nang maging single ulit status mo 'te
marami na nagc-chat saakin tungkol sa'yo. Akala mo biglang may na-lift na ban."
Franny said while fixing the sign board.

"As if, may mauuto ka naman." I chuckled, pero laking gulat ko dahil may mga pumila
nga.

"Sabi ko naman sa'yo —" Franny was cut off by Suzette.

"Franny, pakitanggal nung signboard kay Arri."

Franny furrowed his eyebrows. "Bakit? Kakalagay ko pa lang!"

Nagkamot ng ulo si Suzette. "May bumili na ng lahat e. Wala na tayong paninda."

Nanglaki ang mga mata ni Franny. "Sino raw?"

Nagkibit balikat si Suzy. "Ewan ko, dinoble nga 'yung tubo natin e. Basta ang
sinabi pamigay na lang daw 'yung pagkain tapos tanggalin 'yung signboard kay Arri."

Kumunot naman ang noo ko. Who could it possibly be? Lumingon ako sa paligid ko, I
saw Etienne walking with another classmate of his.

Napangiti naman ako. Agad akong lumapit sa kanya kaya naman kumunot ang noo niya
nang makita ako.

"Thanks! Sobrang supportive mo sa akin, ah." I told him, flashing him a smile.

"Ha?" he arched an eyebrow. "Pinagsasabi mo? Free hugs and kisses?"

Tinanggal ko kaagad ang signboard. "Di ba binili mo lahat ng paninda namin? Dinoble
mo pa nga."

Ilang minuto siyang nanahimik. He rose his brows in amusement. His tongue was
touching the side of his cheeks while trying to contemplate something.

He lazily grinned. "Ah, I can't wait to see him beg."

"Hm?" this time, I was the confuse one.

"Wala, galingan mo sa pagtitinda." He patted my head. "I'll see you later."

It was weird but Etienne and I got closer because of what happened. He's weird,
rude, and sometimes too frank for his own good. Pero sa kabilang banda, isa siya sa
mga taong napagkakatiwalaaan ko kahit may ginawa siya noon saakin. He was a dear
friend to me during my darkest nights. I hope I'll also be that kind of friend to
him.

Time flies so fast, hindi ko namalayan ay magtatapos na pala ang school year. It
was our graduation and I waited for Adren to come out with his toga. Hawak-hawak ko
ang pinaghirapang mango graham sa aking mga kamay.

I was trembling because of anticipation and fear of rejection. Sari-saring emosyon

na naman ang naramdaman ko.

"Arrisea," pagtawag niya sa akin. Tinanggal niya ang toga cap niya habang papalapit
sa akin.

"Congrats!" I smiled at him and handed the mango graham in his hands. "Kahit ito na
lang tanggapin mo, kahit huwag na ako."

Even though he looks hesitant, kinuha niya ito sa mga kamay ko.

"I already told you everything- well no. Pero sa tingin ko naman ay narinig mo na
ang mga gusto mong marinig." There was a heavy feeling on my chest and it weights
like solid rocks.

"I'm so proud of you." Nagsimula na namang tumulo ang mga luha ko. "Sa lahat ng mga
pinagdaanan mo, nandito ka pa rin at lumalaban. I... Love you for that and I think
I'll always will."

You never really unlove someone. Unlove isn't even a word at all. May mananatili pa
rin talagang pag-ibig diyan sa puso mo, kung hindi man pag-ibig ay may puwang na
matitira para sa taong noon ay naging mundo mo.

Pinunasan ko ang mga luhang lumandas sa aking pisngi. "I'm sorry because I wasn't
able to change your world for the better. Pero sana makahanap ka ng taong
maipapakita 'yon. Life is beautiful with the right person, Adren. Please don't
deprive yourself with the love that you deserve."

Sa huling pagkakataon ay lumapit ako sa kanya upang halikan siya sa kanyang pisngi.
Salty tears were still falling from my eyes.

"For what's it worth, I loved you with everything I've got."

Agad akong tumalikod dahil hindi ko na kakayanin pang makita ang reaksyon niya.
Nakakailang hakbang pa lang ako palayo nang tawagin niya ako.

"Arrisea."

I halted from walking.

Pinapakiramdaman ang mabilis na tibok ng puso ko. His voice made my heart rapidly
racing. Bakit? Bakit pakiramdam ko mahal mo pa rin ako? Why do I kept on holding on
even if it's already too late?

"Thank you."

I smiled to myself and didn't respond anymore.

Nagpatuloy na ako sa paglalakad palayo.

That day, I gave up someone but gain myself again.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 32 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 32

"Good morning, Miss Cabrera." The Receptionist offered me a perfunctory smile.

She handed me my security key card for Etienne's office. I was currently at the
Philippines headquarters of EIJE Inc.

I smiled back at her upon receiving the key card. Dumiretso na ako sa isang glass
elevator para pumunta sa top floor. I notice that the employees gave way and
allowed me to ride the elevator alone but I insisted that I didn't need that much
space. Kaya naman ngayon ay dinadaldal ko sila para matanggal ang takot nila
saakin.

"Ma'am, ang bait niyo po talaga. Swerte po sa inyo si Sir Etienne." A bubbly
employee praised me. I only gave a small smile.

Upon arriving at the top floor, I can't help but admire the refined minimalistic
interior of this whole building. I'm always amaze every time I visit the
headquarters, may dulot din pala ang pagiging maarte ni Etienne.

I swiped my key card at the glass door and it automatically opened for me. Kitang
kita ko si Etienne na nakabusangot habang kausap ang kanyang sekretarya.

If Helen of Troy can make a thousand ship sail because of her beauty, Etienne can
make the ships wrecked themselves because of his face. He really aged well. He
always looked too mature compare to his actual age, pero gano'n pa man ay isip bata
pa rin siya para sa akin.

The side of my lips lifted as I traipsed inside his office.

When I noticed that someone aside from him and his secretary was there, I
immediately composed myself.

"Hi, love." I greeted Etienne. Agad siyang napalingon saakin at ngumisi.

"Hello, love." Etienne stood up and approach me to give me a small kiss on my

cheeks.

"Oh my!" the woman who was with them was giggling. "How I wished the both of you
would settle down already."

Etienne shrugged. "Arrisea's busy with her cooking show. I'm also trying to develop
a new AI, I don't think we have the time to prepare for that."

"Good morning, Tita Ellise." I went to her direction. Bumeso ako sa kanya.

Ellise Soteiro immediately gave me a warm hug. Her aristocrat aura contrasts her
inner nature. Hindi ko nga alam paano 'to naging ina ni Etienne, she is an angel in
human's clothing.

"I can't wait to be a Lola!" She was almost jumping in joy. "Galingan mo kasi,
Etienne! Napakabagal! Try and try until she's buntis!"

Nabilaukan ako sa sarili kong laway at nakita ko naman ang pilit na ngiti ni
Etienne.

Tumikhim naman ang sekretarya ni Etienne. I chuckled because of the gesture.

"I have to go now, I was just worried that Etienne is over working himself." Tita
Ellise said, giving out a sigh. "What will happened to him if he doesn't have you,
Arrisea?"

"Hindi naman po. I'll make sure of it." I assured her. Ngumiti lang siya sa akin
bago magpaalam saamin na kailangan na niyang umalis dahil meron pa siyang
pupuntahang event sa golf.
Para kaming nabunutan ng tinik sa dibdib nang marinig namin ang pagsara ng pintuan
nang tuluyan na siyang makalabas.

"Etienne, umamin ka na nga!" singhal ko sa kanya.

Prente lang siyang umupo sa swivel chair niya habang naglalaro ng rubik's cube
gamit ng isang kamay. He made a smaller version of it and treat it as his stress
reliever.

Nagpakuha siya ng wet wipes sa sekretarya niya. He wiped his lips and immediately
throw the wipes on the trashbin. Disgust was written all over his face.

"First of all, bakit ka kasi sumakay? Ayan tuloy akala niya girlfriend kita." He
grimaced.

Etienne was joking around his Mom about the both of us, kesyo patay na patay siya
saakin at mamamatay daw siya kung hindi ko siya papakasalan. Akala tuloy ng Mama
niya ay merong namamagitan saaming dalawa. We just don't have the heart to tell her
that everything was just because Etienne was bored and wanted to prank his Mom. It
backfired at him pretty badly.

"Cute niyo." Paulene muttered. She was Etienne's dutiful secretary.

Nandidiring lumingon si Etienne sa kanya. " Isa pang sabi mo ng ganyan, babawasan
kita ng sweldo."

Paulene arched an eyebrow. "Aba kung gano'n, maghanap ka na lang ng bago mong
secretary."

I smirked at their banters, Paulene has always been too feisty.

Etienne rolled his eyes. "Hindi ka ba naturuan ng business ethics?"

She fired back. "Sir, if we're talking about business ethics — you might as well
add that it is your duty to set an example for your subordinates when it comes to
having an appropriate behavior."

Etienne grinned lazily. "Fair point."

Natawa na lang ako sa kanilang dalawa. Umupo ako sa lounge chair at kumuha ng isang
magazine para magbasa-basa. I smiled when I saw the front page. Arya holding her
new lipstick set, she ventured into producing cosmetics here in the Philippines.
Kilala ang produkto niya dahil sa quality. She took ABM during senior highschool,
probably the reason why she knows how to run a business.
I'm glad that I took TVL and followed what I really wanted. Dumaan man ako sa mga
mapangmata na mga tao, I was able to prove to them that I can still succeed and I'm
following my own trail. Hindi lang ako basta nagluluto lang, I'm now a celebrity
chef that has a sister who's becoming successful in her own field. Napag-aral ko
ang kapatid ko. And I'm so proud of her. I'm also proud of myself too.

"Birthday mo na pala bukas," Etienne turned his attention to me. "Anong plano mo?
Party? Travel?"

"I wanna spend it with my family. A small dinner party would do." I answered, not
removing my gaze at the pages of the magazine. I flipped a few pages until I saw a
familiar person.

Natigilan ako sa paglilipat ng pahina dahil nakita ko ang isang page para kay
Adren. It was a stolen photo from him and his achievements were all stated in the
article. They addressed him as the youngest CEO of the Reverios Corp.

"Hn, don't tell me you haven't move on yet? It's been years." Etienne taunted.

Ngumiwi ako. "Please, wala ng ungkatan ng past dito."

"Do I have to beg—" Etienne stopped acting when I throw him the nearest throw
pillow in my area. Napakaloko!

"I've moved on," seryosong saad ko. "Masaya na ako para sa kanya."

I guess whenever I go back and remember I had to begged for someone to be in my

life again, I feel pathetic. Pero kapag naaalala ko na si Adren 'yon, medyo
nababawasan ang inis ko sa sarili ko. I loved him and that's it.

When you're still in that stage of life, you think you already know everything. You
think it's your last chance in life. Akala mo lahat ay permanente na. I thought
Adren was the only love that I could ever have in this life but I was wrong. He was
just part of my senior highschool memories.

He'll remain that way.

"Well, I'm feeling generous so..." Etienne looked at Paulene who immediately went
towards me with a folder in her hand.

"What's this? Mukhang pangmalakasan ang bigayan natin ngayon, ah?" I teased him but
my smile immediately drop upon opening it.

It was a stockholders' agreement.

I thought it was for the EIJE Inc, but when I saw the company's name in the
contract.

"What the hell!" I screech. "It's a five percent share from the Reverios Corp?!"

Etienne started laughing while Paulene widened her eyes. It looks like it was all
his idea because even his secretary is surprised to know he gave me a large number
of shares from a company I don't wanna be part of!

Kahit 'yata one percent lang ito ay hindi ko matatanggap! A percent matters, that's
what I know. Hindi naman ako kamaganak ng mga Reverio para magkaroon ng five
percent share!

"Happy Birthday, Arrisea!" He said with so much joy, his eyes started watering
because of tears. Tuwang-tuwa ang loko!

"Bakit ganito ang regalo mo, ha?!"

"Wala lang..." he leans back on his chair as he looks at me with so much

depth."Trip ko lang."

I swear, walang tao ang gustong mapagtripan ni Etienne. He's beyond what you can
tolerate! Mamamatay ka na lang sa inis kapag hindi mo siya gaano kilala! The guy
knows how to push someone's buttons.

"I can't accept this." Umiling-iling ako at tumayo upang ibalik ang folder sa
kanya.

"Too late, they're having a meeting for the board now. Well, kasama ka na nga pala
roon. Your five percent is very crucial since the two sides right now are fighting
for the top position once again." Etienne continued playing with his rubik's cube.
"What can I say? A fox cannot beat two snakes at once."

"I don't need this." Tinaas ko ang folder. "Kuntento na ako sa buhay ko ngayon."

His world is still far from my reach. Lalo na ngayon na tanyag na talaga siya sa
kanyang larangan. I will forever be too filthy to be associated with him. I don't
have the prominent name, I don't have the wealthy and I have nothing to offer.

I always be the cause of his loss, kahit saan man tingnan. Kaya mas mabuting huwag
na lang.

"Don't you want to help Adren? I mean, that five percent share will secure his
position once again. Nakuha lang naman ng kampo nila Dayanara ang ibang panig ng
ibang stockholders dahil sa isang babae."
Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. "What do you mean?"

"The model? Tatiana Fuentes? Everyone adores her. Imagine? A former handicapped was
able to get healed and be a well known model?" A playful grin appeared on his lips.
"What a reunion! Tayo na lang ang kulang, Arrisea."

I chewed my buttom lip. Anong pakay ni Tatiana? Why is she trying to get into the
Reverios? Particularly on Dayanara and Alfos' side? Hindi ba gusto niya si Adren?

At nakakalakad na siya?

It's been years, tuluyan na naming pinutol ang ugnayan namin sa aming ama. Kaya
naman wala na akong balita kay Tatiana at sa kanyang ina, I don't really want to
meddle with them too. Sobrang maikli lang ang buhay para bigyan pa sila ng pansin.
Iniisip ko pa lang siya, stressed na agad ako.

"Fine, I'll donate the shares to him." Bumuntong hininga ako. Even though it's been
years, I still do care for him as someone who I used to love.

"Goodluck, love." Etienne stuck out his tongue. "Make him beg."

I shook my head at him. Why would I do that?

I found my way at the main building of the Reverios Corp. Ang layo naman kasi
talaga ng interest ko sa interest nila! I mean, they do have chain of businesses
but as far as I know they don't have any say in the food industry.

I made an appointment for Adren. Truth be told, the receptionist was able to
recognized my name so they're probably aware that I'm temporarily part of the
board. Mas naging magalang kasi ang turing niya sa akin nang makita ang business
card ko.

I roamed around my sight, this was more spacious that EIJE Inc. Different luxurious
items were just being displayed in the receiving area. Mukhang mga galing pa sa mga
ibang bansa. The motif was black and white, it looks more elegant this way.

"Ma'am, may we just guide you towards the meeting room." Another employee told me.

Tumango naman ako.

Hinawi ko ang mahaba kong buhok dahil sagabal ito sa aking mukha. I tried making my
hair long since it's been a long time that I kept it short.
The door automatically opened when it sense we were coming. A presentation was on-
going when we entered the room. A round table was filled with different people,
only one seat was left unoccupied.

I halted from walking. My heart started racing. Bakit gano'n? I went here knowing I
can face him and tell him that I'll be giving my shares to him, free of charge.
Ilang beses ko itong plinano sa utak ko. I'll see him, tell him my agenda and move
on with my life.

Pero bakit para akong estatwa ngayon na nasa harap ko na siya?

There he was — Adonis Reverio in flesh. He was wearing a corporate suit, he looks
taller and more muscular than before. Well, of course it's been years! His features
also matured but he still has the same angelic face he used to have.

Shit. Nasaan na 'yung go back button?!

His gaze went towards me when almost everyone noticed my existence. His piercing
stare made me tense up and unable to move. He was tapping his pen on the table
impatiently. I look over the unoccupied seat, it was just beside him.

I planned this in my head. God knows that I wanted to get over this.

Pero bakit gano'n?

Masakit pa rin pala.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 33 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 33

I was barely listening to the meeting. Hindi naman kasi ako interesado. I'm just
here to give the shares to Adren and that's it.

Umakyat na naman ang kaba sa dibdib ko. It's slowly sinking in that Adonis Renoir,
after all the years, is seating beside me right now.

And he looks hot. Punyemas.

Dapat illegal maging ganito ka-gwapo ang mga CEO. People can't have it all, so how
did this man looked so dashing in his suit?
I kept on diverting my eyes. Halos matatanda pala ang nasa board meeting na ito.
Adren is indeed the youngest.

After getting to the gist of the meeting, it was adjourned.

My eyes widened when a familiar woman came inside the boardroom. It was Tatiana,
now sporting a shorter hair. It was similar to my haircut before. Nanglaki rin ang
mga mata niya nang makita ako pero agad niya itong tinago gamit ng isang ngiti.

Kahit napopoot ako sa kan'ya noon, I learned that giving her forgiveness is the
right thing to do. Hindi na niya ako muling kinulit o nilapitan nang tuluyan na
talaga kaming natapos ni Adren.

I'm glad she's okay and she can use her legs again. Pero bakit siya nandito? Did
she purposely followed Adren even now? She's dedicated, huh?

"Adren, can I talk with you?" Nilagay ni Tatiana ang ilang takas na hibla ng buhok
sa likod ng kanyang tenga.

Bitch 'to, nawala bigla ang 'Kuya' ah? Level up na rin ang panglalandi?

Bigla akong napapikit. Nasaan na 'yung pinapatawad ko na siya? Bakit parang bigla
akong nagkaroon ng amnesia?

"Sure."

His deep baritone voice penetrated through my ears and it didn't pass through.
Nanatili ito sa utak ko para ipaalala saakin ang lahat. This voice used to tell me
the sweetest things yet it sounded so cold now.

"Adren." I called him, a little hesitant.

His head tilted towards my direction and a ghost of smile appeared on his lips.

"Yes, Arrisea?"

I thought hearing him already caught me off guard but now that he was speaking my
name — it made me feel breathless. Parang ang hirap huminga at magpatuloy ng
sasabihin.

Despite having a hard time breathing, I continued, "I'd also like to talk."

His cold eyes remained on me, bahagyang umangat ang gilid ng kanyang labi.
"Okay, but I'd like to speak with Tatiana first."

I don't know why I got annoyed. Sure, Tatiana asked him first but it felt like what
I'm about to say is not as important as Tatiana's request.

Tatiana smirked, "We'll have to go now, Arrisea."

It made me arched an eyebrow.

Hindi ako sanay na walang Ate. Pero ang awkward nga naman kung hanggang ngayon ay
tatawagin niya ako nang ganun. Even Etienne dropped the honorifics.

Umalis na sila upang pumunta sa opisina ni Adren. I texted Etienne to pick me up

just in case. Alam ko naman na nasa teritoryo ako ng mga Reverio, it's better to be
safe than sorry.

I waited for at least half an hour but Tatiana was still inside his office.
Hanggang sa umabot na ito nang ilang oras. An empathetic employee even offered me
drinks as I wait. Umupo ako sa isang lounge chair at tinanggap ang inalok na kape.
Even the coffee for employees are made with high quality beans. I could tell
because I've tasted different ingredients.

I thought everything was all well for us. Pero parang pinaghihintay talaga ako? Ang
tagal na nilang magkausap, e? Usap lang ba talaga ang ginagawa nila roon?

I stood, mukhang magkakaroon na ako ng ugat sa kakahintay sa kanila. I went to the

door of his office and was about to knock when Tatiana opened it for me.

Her lips parted when she saw me. Agad siyang ngumiti.

"Sorry, it took long. Madalas talaga ay ganito kami mag-usap ni Adren. It took
hours when we talk, I'm really sorry."

Tinanong ko? Pinilig ko ang ulo ko para matanggal ang mga gusto nitong sabihin.

I didn't know what to say, my mouth remained open. Para bang kasalanan ko pa na
iniistorbo ko ang paguusap nila?

"We're really close nowadays. Kaya naman sana ay hindi mo masamain."Hagikgik niya.

I gulped down my pride.

"That's okay, mag-usap na lang ulit kayo pagkatapos namin. Kahit abutin pa kayo
nang magdamag kung gusto mo. I just have to tell him something."

Tatiana had the look of triumph on her face. She strides her way out of his office.
Agad naman akong pumasok ng opisina ni Adren.

His glass office was spacious and sleek. The glass partition enables me to see the
high-rise buildings outside. Halos gawa sa salamin lahat ng bagay sa opisina niya.
That's weird for me since Etienne's office didn't have any mirrors at all, probably
because he likes his privacy very much.

"Hello, Arrisea."

My head turned to his direction abruptly. He was leaning on his glass table while
fixing his tie. I saw him wearing a corporate suite numerous times but this still
makes my stomach twist.

"L-long time no see, huh?" I gave him a small smile.

"Well, I'm actually watching your show so I see you pretty often." His smile has a
glint of mischief.

Umawang ang labi, pinigilan na malaglag ang panga dahil sa kanyang sinabi.

I was a chef, I pursued culinary after senior highschool. Titigil sana ako sa pag-
aaral para makatulong kay Mama pero tinulungan ako ni Etienne na magkaroon ng
trabaho kahit nag-aaral ako. After I graduated, I worked overseas for a few months
but decided to stay at the Philippines when a local TV network offered me a job as
a guest chef. People liked my charismatic way of cooking and it was an opportunity
for me to have my own cooking show.

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

I blow out some air because I feel so hot, my cheeks are heating. Para akong
bumalik sa pagiging teenager na pinuri ng crush niya.

"I'm here to give this to you," sabi ko at lumapit upang ibigay sa kanya ang folder
na tinago ko sa tote bag ko."It's the five percent shares from this corporation."

His eyebrows furrowed. "That's funny, I don't remember selling any of the shares.
How did you get it?"

Realization appeared on his face and he immediately licked his lips before crossing
his arms across his chest.
His face darkened. "I forgot that you're with Etienne."

I wanted to correct him. False rumors do fly fast. Pero para saan pa? Kaya naman
hinayaan ko na lang siya sa iniisip niya. I don't think Etienne would mind anyway,
he was the one who proclaimed he's in love with me.

"Regalo niya sa akin, pero hindi ko naman kailangan. Kaya ibabalik ko na lang
sa'yo."

"It must be nice to date him, then? He can give you everything you want." He
smiled, tauntingly.

It pissed me off. I wanted to rub salt to his wounds too. Para kasing pinapamukha
niyang pera lang ang habol ko kay Etienne.

"Well, yeah? I mean, he does give me everything I need."

The smile on his face was replaced with a scowl. His jaw tightened because of what
I've said.

Akala ko ay aabutin na niya 'yung folder pero laking gulat ko dahil gumapang ang
kamay niya upang hatakin ako papalapit sa kanya.

I can smell his scent because we're inches apart. Damn him! Iniiwas ko ang tingin
ko sa kanya. Damn his effect! Damn this feeling!

"Why can't you look at me, Arrisea?" Nanunuyang tanong niya. "Aren't you sincere?"

"Sincere ako sa pagbalik ng s-shares sa'yo." I answered.

"Hm? I wasn't talking about the shares." His hot breath was touching my skin. "I
was talking about being with Etienne."

Lalo siyang lumapit sa akin. Napasinghap naman ako.

"Y-you c-can't do the thing y-you did with Tatiana here with me!" Naiiritang sambit
ko.

I mean, kung ganito nga ang ginawa nila ni Tatiana sa loob ng opisina niya ay anong
pinagkaiba ko sa babaing 'yon? I wasn't as desperate as before! At kahit naging
desperada man ako, hindi naman sa level ni Tatiana!

"Hm? Ano bang ginawa namin ni Tatiana?" malambing na tanong niya.

I don't know? Nakipag-bato bato pick sa mga salamin dito? How am I suppose to know?
Pero duda ko na usap lang ang nangyari! It took them hours to talk? Hindi sila
naubusan ng laway?

"You tell me, ano nga ba?"

"We talked, that's it."

"Really? You expect me to believe that?" I scoffed.

"Ano bang nasa isip mo?"

I didn't say anything. Nanatiling nakapako ang kanyang tingin sa akin. Bigla itong
lumamlam, at para bang binalik ako sa nakaraan.

"I miss you, Arri."

I bit my lower lip as my eyelids close. Sinong tangang marupok? Ako lang 'to, si
Arrisea!

“I'm sorry for everything...” the sincere words came out of his mouth. “I'm glad
you're doing well but...”

My eyes fluttered open and I was about to answer him...

"Ma'am, Sir, nandito na po 'yung shopee."

Adren groans as he rests his forehead to my shoulder.

"Nag-order k-ka?" I shifted the topic as I got away from him.

"No..." he frowns.

Our eyes flew to the door. Etienne was leaning towards the door with a smirk on his
face. He waved at us, siya pala 'yon!

Did he saw everything?!

"You were on drought too, Kuya Adren?" Etienne strides towards us. "This is like
the first day you saw each other again, di man lang nakapag-hintay sa mas matinong
lugar? Ganyan kayo katuyo? Kawawa naman kayo."
"Well, what can I say? Arri seems to like it too." Adren mockingly replied.

Etienne looks at me. He looks betrayed- but I know better, this guy is actually
laughing on the inside. Aasarin niya lang akong marupok!

"Arrisea, hindi mo man lang hinayaan magmakaawa sa'yo? I was expecting more from
you." Etienne sighed.

Nagtaas ako ng kilay sa kanya.

"Adren, I just saw Tatiana. I thought you can get rid of her by yourself?" bumaling
siya kay Adren.

Adren swallowed hard before clenching his jaw. Matalim ang tingin niya kay Etienne.
I wanted to tell Adren not to take it seriously. Ikaw ang matatalo kung magiging
seryoso ka sa mga sinasabi ni Etienne.

"Any way, we have to go. Take the shares —"

"I won't." Umiling si Adren.

Nalaglag ang panga ko.

Why would he refuse this?! He needs this!

"Bakit? You need this to secure —"

"I don't need it." He looks at me with his piercing eyes. It immediately softens
when his gaze was locked with mine.

"What I need is you," his breathing was slow.

I could feel my own heart trying to get out of its ribcage.

"If you can't give it to me, then no thanks. I don't need any help at all."

"Paano kung sabihin ko na buy one take one? You can have me and the shares—"

"Putangina, ang rupok talaga." Etienne cussed while looking at me with disbelief,
"Gano'n na 'yon? Arrisea, you have to make him beg! Sundin mo naman 'yung script!"
Adren laughed, darkly. He leaned towards his table, his arms across his chest.
"Wow, maybe she learned that from you? Not following the plan? Not following the
script?"

Anong ibig nilang sabihin? What plan? What script? Kailan pa naging palabas ito?

"We'll tell you everything, but can you promise me one thing?" Etienne glanced at
me. Agad naman akong tumango. He let out a long breath.

"Please try your best not to be angry, even if all of this was planned by me..." he
winced.

"Anong planned? Anong plano?" gulong-gulo na tanong ko.

His eyes casted downwards, nervously. Etienne cleared his throat before proceeding
to tell me something.

“Just...”

“Ano ba kasi 'yon? At bakit naman ayaw mo akong magalit? Ano bang ginawa mo?”

"You weren't the first one I care about, Arrisea. But I lost that person," his eyes
has a flicker of pain. "I don't wanna lose you too."

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 34 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 34

“Gusto mo ako?” I raise an eyebrow, obviously confused. “Is that what you meant?”

“No, kadiri naman.” he groaned, plastering an annoyed face. “The truth is, Adren
already knows everything.”

There was a long dramatic pause. I was trying to process his words. Alam ni Adren
ang lahat? Ang lahat ng ano?

“Anong alam niya?”

“That you left him because you wanted to save him from getting his reputation
tainted,” sagot niya. “He knew it even before, kaya niya binawi 'yung shares na
ibibigay niya dapat kay Solstice.”
I looked at Adren who only had his gaze on me. Tila ba napapaso rin siya tuwing
nagtatama ang mga mata namin. Maybe because we knew we burn for each other, there
was still a little spark that could cause flames between the both of us.

“Although, my first plan was supposed to separate the both of you for the meantime
since we were waging wars even if we were already holding a white flag,” Etienne
snarled, furrowing his brows in the process.

That's true, bata pa kami noon. At sa mata ng lahat, we weren't capable of doing
wise decisions because of our age. Wala pa nga talaga kaming binatbat noon. Pero
iba na ang usapan ngayon.

“Hindi ko inakalang makikipagusap si Tatiana sa mga magulang ni Adren.” Etienne

dropped the bomb. “She convinced them that she can be a tool for them in order to
control him. She was just too obsessed.”

“I had to act that you didn't matter to me anymore, Arrisea. She knows my every
move and once she finds out that we're still contacting with each other...” Adren
muttered, making him lose his composure. “She can do things beyond what we can
imagine, Arri.”

My eyes closed in frustration, nanginginig ako sa galit sa kanya.

“Did you know she was even willing to help bail Karl before? Para lang madiin ka sa
korte? She's even fine with the idea of faking her disability so she can destroy
you.” Etienne continued.

It all makes sense. Kaya naman pala parang wala lang ang nangyari sa kanya noon.
She's even a model now and everyone sees it as a miracle. Sobrang bango nga talaga
ng kanyang pangalan.

“We were supposed to just make a show for Tatiana to stop blackmailing you...”
mahinang sabi ni Adren.

“But she was everywhere, Arrisea. No'ng una, hindi ko siniseryoso ang mga sinasabi
niya at ginagawa niya...” Adren muttered, wolfishly.

“Pero, she was just too obsessed with the idea of ruining you. When we were in
senior highschool, balak sana namin na ilayo ka kay Tatiana dahil malaki ang alas
niya...”

“Anong alas?”

“Your family...” Etienne sighed. “She was willing to drag your family, Arrisea. She
thinks once you're one with dirt, she's going to replace you.”
I balled my fists. Like mother, like daughter. We were the original family, pero
nabulag si Papa sa pera. He didn't marry my mother because they lack of money, but
he married someone else for the same reason too. No'ng una ay hindi pa ito alam ni
Mama, pero nang malaman niya ito ay agad siyang humiwalay kay Papa.

He was a foreigner who learned our native language for my mother, pero nagawa niya
pa rin itong iwan para sa salapi.

It just shows that money can indeed manipulate someone to think that it can be
love.

Pero hindi ko maintindihan si Tatiana. Kung meron man dapat na nagtatanim ng sama
ng loob sa aming dalawa, it should be me. Her mother made me suffer when I was with
them, sa puntong hindi ko nga siya nakilala dahil pilit kong kinakalimutan ang mga
nangyari noon. It was my coping mechanism, to forget cruel things that happened
before. To let it go. To not be bothered with it anymore.

Why does she hate me this much? Lahat ba ito ay para lang mapatunayan na mas bagay
sila ni Adren? Because I can't see the relevance of it. I can't see her point.

“Bakit ngayon niyo lang ito sinasabi sa akin?” I asked.

“You'll probably drag her to hell, Arri. I saw how you're a slave of your emotions,
lalo na't ang pamilya mo ang balak niyang siraan noon.”

Kumakabog ang dibdib ko sa galit. All this time, akala ko ay wala na ang poot ko
para sa kanya at sa kanyang pamilya. Pero nagtatago lang pala ito.

I had many questions in my head, pero pinili ko munang umuwi. This was all too much
for me. Iba ang pinaniwalaan ko sa mga taon na lumipas. I was still shock.

"You never changed," Etienne says, a hand on the steering wheel and eyes on the
road. "You always see the good in people."

“I just can't believe it...” napasandal ako. “All this time? Akala ko pa naman ikaw
na ang pinaka-weirdong tao na nakilala ko.”

“I may be weird but I won't destroy a person's entire life just because I have
issues of my own...” tugon niya.

Naalala ko tuloy bigla si Adren. If it is true that he only did that because he
valued me and my family's safety, pakiramdam ko ay natutunaw ang pilit kong
pinalamig na damdamin.

I chewed my buttom lip. "What if he still loves me? Mahal ko pa rin naman siya...I
want him back too."

There were nights that I cried because I miss him. I miss how simple things can
make him happy. I miss how unusual his views are and how I was able to accept it
without thinking badly of him.

Akala ko kung lalayo ako ay makakalimutan ko siya.

Akala ko kung lilipas ang panahon ay lilipas din ang nararamdaman ko.

Pero ngayong nakita ko ulit siya ay para bang bumalik lahat ng nararamdaman ko.
Hindi pala ito nawala, parang nagtago lang at ngayon ay nagbabalik muli.

Move on? Issa prank.

Hindi sumagot si Etienne. He almost rolled his eyes, pero kita ko na pinigilan niya
lang ang sarili niya.

My phone vibrated and I received a text from Gio.

Gio:

Ayoko na rito. Lahat sila nage-english.

Arrisea:

Gagio, nasa ibang bansa ka? Malamang?

Gio:

Okay lang.

Sanay na ako mag-adjust.

:(

Gumuhit ang isang ngiti sa labi ko. It's been years since this guy went overseas.
Kailan kaya ang balik nito?

As I was browsing my feed, I saw pictures of Franny with his boyfriend. Nasa Paris
sila ngayon at ang background nila ay ang Eiffel Tower. I immediately reacted with
a heart. I saw comments and apparently the guy proposed to Franny. Agad akong nag-
message sa groupchat namin para batiin siya.

Arri: Congrats, Franny!

Franny: Invited kayo, ha! Hindi nga lang sa pinas, pero sagot ko na mga pamasahe
niyo.

Camisha: Congratulations, Franny! Ikaw pa ang unang kinasal sa amin. Busy lang
ngayon sa hospital pero sana makapag-meet tayo soon!

Ngumiti ako nang maalala na isa na nga palang nurse si Camisha ngayon. I'm happy
that despite of how she was constantly belittled by some people, she bravely prove
them wrong.

Siguro hindi tulad ng iba na alam na kaagad ang mga pangarap nila, Camisha needed
senior highschool to make her realize what she really wanted. Minsan nga ang SHS pa
ang magpapamukha sa'yo kung ano ba talaga ang mundong papasukin mo.

I sincerely hope that people will not let their strands determine their worth.
Hindi porke't nasa gantong strand ka, dapat ganito na ang kukunin mo. You can
changed your mind, you could shift if you must. Don't let it trap you in a small
bubble- don't be comfortable in your comfort zone.

Kung sa tingin mo ay mas mag-grow ka sa paglipat ng strand o pagpili sa hindi naman

align sa strand mo, subukan mo lang. Wala namang mawawala. Mas nakakatakot na
lumipas ang oportunidad na mas makilala mo pa ang sarili mo.

It's better to suffer for a few years in school than to suffer for an entire
lifetime because you took the few years in school for granted.

Yes, there are benefits when your strand is align to your college course. But in
the end of the day, it's not about your chosen strand or course - it's about what
you want to achieve.

The thing about dreams or goals - not everyone has the same pace of achieving it.
May mga tao na mas mabilis makaabot ng pangarap nila at meron namang mas mabagal.

Pero pareho naman silang umuusad, wala naman ito sa bilis o sa bagal, basta
gumagawa ka ng paraan upang umusad.

So no matter how fast or slow you are in your path — you'll be there, you just have
to keep moving forward.

Suzy: I'll clear my schedule! Congrats! Ikaw ang nagwagi~

My smile widen when I saw Suzy's message. She's a model slash reporter now! She
didn't pursue culinary in college and took masscom instead. It was her way to
regain her confidence again.

She had to take a few subjects for her to be able to change her course, pero worth
it naman dahil kitang-kita ko kung gaano siya naging masaya sa kanyang trabaho
ngayon.

Etienne stopped the car in front of my house. Agad akong nagpasalamat pero bago ko
masara ang pinto ng kotse ay pinigilan niya ako.

"I don't trust Adren," he says. "Pero naniniwala akong mahal ka pa niya. I just
don't want you to get hurt again."

I gave him a small smile.

"Love is good, Etienne. But it doesn't mean it won't hurt you. A little pain is
nothing compare to the joy it brings."

Pumasok na ako sa bahay at dumiretso kaagad sa kwarto ko. Mama and Archer are
probably busy too. Si Mama sa kanyang restaurant at si Archer naman ay sa after
school activities niya.

I took a quick shower before going to bed. Habang pinupunasan ko ng tuwalya ang
buhok ko ay napako ang tingin ko sa aking cellphone na nasa side table. It was
ringing.

I immediately answered it.

"Hello?"

"Arrisea," a husky voice came from the other line. "Can we see each other?"

Wow? Sino siya para tawagan ako ng ganitong oras? Sa tingin niya ba ay gising pa
ako? Hindi ba pumasok sa isip niya na busy ako?

Sa tingin niya ay hahanap ako ng oras para makapagusap kami?

Sus, kung sa tingin niya ay ganun nga - aba hindi siya nagkakamali.

"Saan at kailan? Anong oras? Ngayon na ba?" sunod-sunod na bato ko ng tanong.

He chuckled on the other line.

"Well, whenever you're free..."

"Never ako naging busy," I answered. Pagdating sa'yo.

"Sure, let's see each other in my condo. I'll send you the address."

Agad kong inabangan ang text niya ng kanyang address. He asked if I wanted to be
fetch but I decline. I can drive on my own.

The building was familiar. It was near a mall. Nagbago siguro ang iilang mga bagay
tulad ng pintura at mga nakapaligid dito pero nakakasiguro ako na ito 'yung condo
kung saan...

My eyes turned to slits as I grab my phone to text Adren. Baka kasi sa maling
condominium ako nakarating.

I received a reply. It was just the floor and unit number.

It gets more weird because it has the same floor and unit number. Pero imposibleng
kay Adren 'yon. A different guy was there when I woke up!

I texted Etienne, just in case.

Arrisea:

Etienne

Makikipagbalikan 'yata ako kay Adren

Okay lang?

As I was in the elevator, going up to Adren's unit. I received a reply from

Etienne.

Etienne:

Alam mo

Mag-backread ka na lang para sa advice ko sa'yo. Di ka na nadala.

Arrisea:
Mahal ko pa e :<

Etienne:

You can't reply to this conversation.

This user has blocked you for being marupok.

Parang tanga! Pero natawa ako. Typical Etienne.

Upon arriving on the unit, I knocked on the door. Walang sumagot kaya sinubukan ko
na lang buksan ito. It was really dark inside so I searched for the switch for the
lights.

Nang mabuksan ko ito, the room was oddly familiar. As if I returned to a nightmare
I never wanted to dream of again.

The same motif of dark colors.

My stomach churned at the sight of it. I look at the bed and it was still the same
as before.

This was the exact room.

My shoulders started to shake as the tears welled up in my eyes.

Narinig ko ang pagsarado ng pinto.

"I'll tell you what happened that night..." Adren's cold tone echoed inside the
room.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 35 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

ADREN

Kabanata 35

"I love you."

Those words are constantly being use everyday. Almost every hour, every minute,
every second in this world.

It is used a little too much that it already lost it's meaning.

Madaling bitawan. Madaling sabihin. Madaling itanggi. Madaling bawiin.

"I'll be going back in the Philippines. I think it won't work." I said, faking my
tone of regret.

I just really wanted to cut it off with her. We only dated because of our parents
wanted to. Sa rason na 'yon, hindi ko maiwasan ang galit sa aking sistema. Even my
lovelife is controlled by them.

At some point, maybe I did crave for love and affection. Yet every girl I've dated
are only after three things - the wealth, the looks or the power.

No one really wanted to see what's beneath those three things. Para sa kanila, ang
tatlong bagay na 'yon ang tanging mahalaga pagdating saakin.

So, I believe that too. It's easy to just believe in what other people believe in.
It's harder to build your own belief, so why not just go with the norm, right?

"You'll come back for me, babe? Adonis?" she asked, desperation in her voice.

I only smiled at her.

Of course not.

Pagbalik ko sa Pilipinas ay agad kong pinutol lahat ng komunikasyon namin.

Honestly, I don't even remember her name. The girls in my life come and go...

Until this certain girl came.

Short hair. A small beauty mark on her face. Thick eyelashes. Goldilock's lips.

She was pretty in a conventional way. I've seen better but there's something about
her that bothers me, probably because she just announced she wanted five thousand
pesos from me if ever I did like her back.

I just smiled. Never. She's a little too wild. Girls like her are not easy to get
rid of.
I'm always smiling, just like the emoticon - a smile can hide your inner feelings.
It isn't only for joy but it could also hide your pain, anguish, sadness, and more.
It was easy that way, walang makakaalam ng tunay mong nararamdaman.

They couldn't use it against you.

"Chicks 'yung mga nasa TVL 'no?" I heard one of my blockmates.

"Malamang! Maraming time mag-ayos ng sarili. Nagluluto lang naman 'yung mga nasa
culinary!"

"May mga kaibigan ako na nag-TVL kasi mas madali 'yata."

"Sus, sa TVL at HUMSS naman talaga bagsak ng mga di marunong sa math at gusto ng
easy easy lang."

The sound of their laughter made me winced. It's full of judgement and
stereotyping. Wala akong kakilala sa ibang strand, I keep my circle as little as
possible when it comes to school so I don't know if what they're talking about is
real or it's just to feed their ego and boost their fake superiority.

Siguro nga, mas madaling manghila ng tao pababa upang makaangat ka. That kind of
mentality is a norm nowadays that people consider it as a daily thing to do.

Bata pa lamang ako ay pinakilala na saakin ang mga dapat kong kilalanin at
kaibiganin. Those who are only on the same social class are the ones who are worthy
of my attention. Even my friends are already arranged by my Grandpa's Secretary. In
this case, Giorgion San Pedro only became my friend because my Grandpa is impressed
with their firm. Gio treats me as his genuine friend though despite of my little
participation in his life.

"Kuya," Sumilip si Lavy habang nasa study room ako, "tinatanong ni Dad kung kakain
ka raw ba mamaya?"

And risk my life for a mere dinner? No, thank you.

"No, busog pa ako."

I never blame Lavy for replacing Solstice. I tried my best to act brotherly towards
her but Dayanara still thinks Lavy is Solstice thus she tries her best to separate
the both of us. Dayanara still thinks she's the real Solstice. Hindi ko alam kung
bakit pilit itong pinapatulan ni Alfos. Dayanara clearly needs help - but Alfos
won't let her.
I never wanted to be as crazy as Alfos when it comes to love. I don't want that
kind of love. The kind that makes you forget all the bad things about the person
and only see the goodness in them. That's stupid, no one is perfect in this world.
We are all flawed...but I guess love can make you accept flaws as part of how
someone becomes perfect in your eyes.

"Etienne, kuha mo ako ng tubig." Utos ni Lavy habang nasa patio kami.

Walang sabi-sabing tumayo si Etienne upang kumuha ng tubig. I was laughing on the
inside because he was really following her like a lost puppy.

I couldn't understand it though, Etienne was beyond our social class. He was at the
top of the chain. Pero heto siya, tuta ng kapatid ko.

I'll never be like him. I swear to all saints, I'll never make myself a slave of
something so trivial like love and friendship. Napakababaw nito dahil nagbabago
naman ito pero ginagawang malalim ng mga tao.

So when Arrisea Cabrera came in my life, I didn't want her at all. Ayoko sa kanya
dahil ang hirap niya tanggalin sa sistema. Nung una ay pasulpot-sulpot lang siya
hanggang sa halos araw-araw na kaming nagkikita.

"Dude, crush ko 'yon sa TVL! Si Arrisea! Ganda no'n pero playgirl daw e!"

"Ano pa bang aasahan mo sa strand niya?" Halakhak nung kasama niya.

My jaw clenched and I immediately look at them.

What a bunch of lowlifes. Pero bakit ba ako naapektuhan? This is normal for me,
hearing others judge people they don't know.

"Adren! Kung papapiliin ka, si Arrisea o si Philomena?" tanong ng kaklase ko sa

akin. I tried to divert the topic but they were persistent.

"Philomena, I guess?" pilit ang ngiti ko. I don't even know who's that girl. Ayoko
lang na madawit kay Arrisea. I couldn't even remove her from my system, at kapag
nalaman nila 'yon - they might use that against me.

They quickly judged my answer and concluded my preference when it comes to girls.
Napa-irap ako sa iritasyon.

Normal na 'yon saakin. Ang hindi normal ay apektado ako masyado pagdating kay
Arrisea. Sino ba siya 'di ba? She was...Arrisea. The girl who keeps on bugging me
for some reason. Hindi ko alam, is she just infatuated? Because damn it, I want it
to be more. Parang hindi ako kuntento kung crush niya lang ako.
"This tastes bland," I commented while wiping the side of my lips with a table
napkin.

"Don't you like the buttered shrimps? Do you want another chef to do it for you?"
Grandpa asked.

This was the fourth chef to do the same dish already. My taste buds are searching
for something more. Sinanay na 'yata ako ni Arrisea sa luto niya o ng mama niya.
The luxurious food being served by high-profile chefs do not compare to their
cooking.

Each day we spent together, I can't take my eyes off her. Natatakot na baka mawala
siya sa paningin ko. Have you ever had something so precious that couldn't risk
losing it? She was like that for me. I couldn't afford to lose her. She made my
nights peaceful and I look forward to the days I'll spend with her. Sabi niya mahal
niya ako. Buong buhay ko, sa kanya ko lang 'yon narinig.

It sounded nice. Kaya siguro may mga tao na araw-araw itong binabanggit. I wanted
to hear it from her every day...

As much as I loathe how people use I love you every day as their
greetings...Arrisea made me feel that saying it every day won't suffice anymore.
Parang kung pwede lang sabihin kada segundo ay ginawa ko na. She deserves it. She
made me realize that one of the best thing a person can offer you for free is love.

Yet love isn't always free.

She broke up with me. I didn't understand it at first. It is because of the trip?
It is because of the stair accident? Suzette's problem? May problema ba siya sa
bahay? But she kept on lying on my face. I know because Arrisea is as blunt as she
could be, she didn't know how to lie.

Maybe I was becoming one of her problems? Hindi ko alam at hindi ko alam ang
gagawin. This was genuinely confusing for me. I've never been loved and I have
never loved anyone before she came to my life. The foreign feeling of pain in my
heart numbs me. Akala ko noon, alam ko na lahat ng klase ng sakit - but this was
the worst among all of it. Ito 'yung sakit na nanunuot hanggang sa loob mo at hindi
mo kayang tanggalin.

Until Etienne made everything clear for me.

"Kuya Adren, what if Arrisea likes me?"

"What did you say?" I can't help but glare at him. Etienne only looked at me
innocently.
"I mean, I'm like the better version of you. I'm also rich, good looking but I
don't have a disastrous family." Halakhak niya. "Don't you think? She's talking to
me daily too. Tapos ikaw, iniiwasan ka na? How does it feel when the person you
love is in love with someone close to you?"

My lips parted and I wanted to punch him in face. Pero hindi ako pinalaking
bayolente. I know the feeling of being hurt physically so I couldn't do it to
others. Still, the way he says things...It makes sense. Siguro nga...I mean we were
doing fine until Etienne came.

Kinuyom ko ang kamao ko. I could feel my nails digging into my palms. Bakit gano'n?
She made me whole but she was also the person who tore me apart.

Did she just really lie? Did I just delude myself that someone can possibly love
me?

Gaano ba ako kahirap mahalin? Bakit lahat na lang ng taong binibigyan ko ng

kahalagahan ay iniiwan ako?

Pero kung sa kanya siya sasaya, how could I ever forgive myself for ruining that
for her? I should be happy that she made me feel loved...even if it didn't last.

"I'm playing around," Etienne shrugged. "Para kang tanga riyan. Hindi ko inakalang
mahuhulog ka talaga nang ganiyan."

Umangat ang tingin ko sa kanya at kumunot ang noo. Agad niya akong binalingan nang
isang matalim na tingin.

"Tatiana," Etienne uttered a familiar name. "She's hell bent on making Arrisea's
life a hell. Para lang makuha ka..."

My jaw clenched. Sino na naman 'yon? Bakit ba hindi na kami natapos sa problema? Is
that the stair girl?

"Madali lang naman, I can make her transfer schools -"

"Tatiana has a connection with your parents."

I became frozen on my spot. Ibig sabihin no'n ay hindi nakikipaglaro 'tong Tatiana
na 'to. She knows her cards well. My parents are my greatest nemesis. Sila lang ang
tanging bagay na nagiging hadlang sa akin.

"At stepfather niya ang tatay ni Arrisea." Etienne looked at his wrist watch before
he sighed.
He explained to me the complicated situation. Akala ko noon ay malakas lang talaga
ang trip niya sa buhay, pero halos magimbal ako dahil ang dami niya pala talagang
alam. It makes me wonder how he gets all the information. Marami rin naman akong
koneksyon pero parang mas marami siyang pinagkukuhanan.

He explained that Arrisea's father decided to leave his family to marry into
wealth; and it was to Tatiana's mother. Kaya naman malakas ang alas ni Tatiana, she
knows that Arrisea's family is important to her and she can use it against her.

I decided not to get involve with Arrisea for a while. Etienne told me that Tatiana
is doing all of this because of my connection with Arri. Halos maging sebo ang
galit ko sa Tatiana na 'yon, I cannot wash it easily or even remove it from my
thoughts. Namumuo lang ito nang namumuo.

Kaya kahit nilinaw na ni Arrisea sa akin ang lahat na ako pa rin ang mahal niya ay
hindi ko matanggap. She may have love me but she loves her family more. At kung
papapiliin ako, I'd rather be the bad guy than put her family in danger. Seeing her
almost breaking down makes me want to say that I still love her too. But I'm not
selfish enough to drag her family into our mess. And there's no excuses for all the
words and actions I've said so I don't know if I deserve a redemption.

Ang tanging hiling ko na lang ay maging masaya siya kasama ang pamilya niya -
because she had them first and she loved them first. I won't let the warmth of her
family vanish.

Indeed, I could pull some strings to make Tatiana stop since she isn't even that
powerful. But what makes me different from my parents? From the blood streaming
through my veins? Money only becomes the root of evil because people use it to
fulfill their evil desires. A currency made of paper cannot make you do evil deeds,
but your selfish thoughts to use that paper will.

We were in the middle of preparing a group presentation for Business Ethics when
Etienne called me. Nasa condo ako ngayon kasama ang mga kaklase ko. This was my
spare condo, pinupuntahan ko lang kapag may gagawin kaming groupwork tapos
kailangan overnight o kaya ay gagabihin kami sa paggawa.

"Adren, nawawala si Arrisea..." Etienne sounded serious. Agad na nanglaki ang nga
mata ko. I immediately asked my groupmates if I can go out for a while. Pumayag
naman sila kaya dali-dali akong pumunta sa bar kung nasaan sila.

Nakarating ako sa Les Gens. I was just wearing some plain black hoodie and sweat
pants. It's already in the middle of the night. I also prepared some refreshment
for her just in case.

Nagmukhang mga langgam ang tao sa sobrang dami nila. Natanaw ko si Arrisea na
hinihila ng isang lalaki. Agad na akong na-alarma, pinuntahan ko si Arrisea at
mukhang lasing na lasing siya. But I know Arri, she wouldn't drink beyond her
limit. At alam ko na mali dahil sa namumungay niyang mga mata.
"Pare, girlfriend ko 'to..." the guy immediately yanked Arri, kaya naman natumba si
Arri at bumangga siya sa counter. Gago ba 'to?

"Hindi papatol si Arrisea sa'yo," I gave a cruel smile before gently putting
Arrisea behind my back. "I know her taste and even the toe of your foot won't pass
her standards."

Nagpatawag ako ng bouncer, thank God that I met the daughter's owner of Les Gens
before. Agad kaming lumayo ni Arri habang kinakausap nila 'yung lalaki.

When she saw me, she immediately beamed and kissed me. I was surprised that I
responded to her kisses and my hands travelled in her waist. I don't know if it was
the liquor she had...pero nakakalasing. I stopped because she was drunk, I'll never
do anything to Arrisea when she's in this state.

Kahit di ko pa nakikita si Gio at Etienne ay inuwi ko na si Arrisea dahil sa

sobrang wasted niya. Sakto namang wala na ang mga kaklase ko sa condo unit. Umuwi
na sila at nagpaalam sa GC namin.

Arrisea acted a little too wild even in the driveway. Kumunot ang aking noo. She is
naturally abrasive, pero iba ang inaakto niya ngayon.

Something's...off.

I asked for some help from our helpers to clean the condo unit and prepare some
clothes for Arrisea. Pinapalitan ko na rin siya dahil pawisan na siya sa kakagalaw
niya kanina. Ang kulit kasi, sinumbong ng helper na nagpalit sa kanya na marami
siyang natamo na pasa sa kanyang hita dahil na siguro sa kakabangga niya sa mga
bagay-bagay.

I watch her sleeping soundly. I can't help but miss her. Pero nanaig pa rin sa akin
na mas gugustuhin kong mawala siya ngayon habang kaya ko pa ang sakit.

And maybe I should avoid love in this life. It's a distraction, a mere hindrance to
what I really want which is control.

Ano na lang ang pinagkaiba ko sa ama ko kung tulad niya ay magiging alipin ako ng
pag-ibig? That I would be as shitty as him once I can't control how I feel?

My thoughts got interrupted when one of my groupmates messaged me. Naiwan daw niya
ang payong ng mama niya sa condo ko. Babalikan na lang daw niya bukas. I told him
to get it as early as possible.

I slept on the couch as respect for Arrisea. Ayoko naman magulat siya na katabi na
niya ako. She'll probably overreact tomorrow because she went crazy this night.
Kinabukasan ay mas maaga ako nagising sa kanya, I went to get us some breakfast.
Medyo natagalan lang dahil wala akong makitang bukas na resto. Puro fast food lang.
A message from my classmate confirmed that he already got his umbrella.

I frowned as I read his message. Pero nandoon si Arrisea? Well, she's probably
still asleep.

Bumuntong hininga ako.

I have to face the fact that it wasn't true that I wasn't ready to lose myself.
Nang mahulog ako kay Arrisea ay matagal na pala itong nawala dahil napunta na sa
kanya. I was all hers.

When I reached my unit. Arrisea thought something happened to her. It makes me

wonder why she didn't know anything from that night; para talagang may mali.

I confirmed it when Etienne talked to me after they picked Arrisea up. Agad na
bumaling si Etienne sa akin. Seryoso ang mga titig niya.

"Tatiana drugged Arrisea with an aphrodisiac," isiniwalat ni Etienne sa akin. My

whole body felt numb. Pakiramdam ko ay binuhusan ako ng semento sa aking buong
katawan.

"The last guy who was with Arrisea confessed." Etienne said, darkly. I know he did
something bad to guy just to make him confessed something horrible but for someone
who had the same morals as Etienne? Para sa kan'ya ay kulay abo ang lahat. Always
in between of white and black.

"I'm pretty sure you're aware what that means..."

"She did that for what?!" asik ko kay Etienne. "Para saan?!"

"Love?" sarkastikong ngisi ni Etienne. "I told you, as long as Arrisea and you are
together, that Tatiana won't stop plotting against Arri. Hindi pa nakatulong na
kakampi niya ang mga magulang mo."

"Fuck! Hindi ba siya pwede ipakulong?!" I frustratedly shouted. She drugged

someone! And God knows what could have happen to Arri if I didn't go there sooner!

"And you think your parents won't know that you value Arrisea that much once they
bailed Tatiana? Your parents have the money, bobo. At alam mo naman kung gaano sila
katatag na sirain ka. Just for the sake of your company."

Etienne was right. I need her to be safe. Ako na ang lulutas ng gusot na ito. I
looked at her for the last time, at agad akong nanghina.
Why did I have to taste this kind of love when it's not even for me? Bakit pa sa
akin ito pinatikim kung sa dulo ay hindi naman pala talaga para sa akin 'to?

"You'll have to fix this mess first. Tip? I have a folder under the table of your
grandpa. When you fixed it already, I'm sure she'll come back to you any way."
Etienne shrugged, adjusting his eyeglasses as he swiftly look towards the car.

I shook my head. Baka hindi na. Baka nga, hanggang dito na lang talaga.

Magulo ang pamilya ko. Magulo ang mundo ko. Magulo ako.

She deserves more.

Isn't that how love works? Arrisea made me feel at peace during the nights I can't
sleep.

So, let me return the favor.

I want to give the peace that you deserve the most, Arri. Let me walk out of your
life so that you can peacefully achieve your dreams. No more madness. No more
nonsense. Have it your way.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 36 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 36

"Arrisea, I'm sorry." Adren said, almost breaking down. "All of the things I've
said were awful. At alam ko 'yon. My words hurted you - I hurt you. And I -"

"Forgive you," tuloy ko sa kan'yang sasabihin. Umangat ang tingin niya sa akin.

"Why?" his eyes fell again. This time, he looked regretful. "You shouldn't -"

"Nasaktan din kita noon." I tearfully said. "And I'm also sorry."

Loving is the easy part. Kaakibat ng bawat pag-ibig ang sakit. At nawawala lang ang
sakit na ito gamit ng pagpapatawad. We forgive not because it is necessary but
because of love. We do not let hatred ruined it for us.

The two of us decided to have a talk where we'll clear things out. He told me about
the things that they had to do to make sure Tatiana won't bother me and my family
anymore. I really can't believe she'll stoop this low. Ako naman ay binato lahat ng
mga tanong na meron ako para sa kan'ya.

"So, you mean? Nothing really happened?"

Nakaupo kami ngayon sa higaan. Halos lumubog ako sa sobrang lambot ng kama niya.
Gusto ko tuloy i-tanong kung magkano ang comforter nito.

He furrowed his eyebrows.

"What made you think that something happened?"

"I mean, there was this guy..." I trailed off.

Kasalanan ko ba na halos gano'n ang mga kinukwento sa akin kapag may nakaka-one
night stand? Magigising ka na lang na iba na ang damit mo? Ano bang malay ko? E,
tulog ako no'n? Saka kapag may nalalasing sa amin at nagsusuka, mga dakila lang ang
nag-aalaga sa mga lasing!

I just wanted to make sure Adren didn't just say those things to make me feel
better. I'll seriously sue that person in case ha had touched me! Pero ayon kay
Adren, wala raw talagang interest 'yon sa akin dahil sa lalaki ito nagkakagusto.

"He came for his umbrella."

"He was there and I thought..."

I think realization hits him because his lips parted.

"So, that's why..." Tumango-tango pa siya, "inaasar ako nung kaklase ko na 'yon
dahil akala niya may inuwi akong babae. Well, I kind of did? Pero wala namang
nangyari."

Parang natanggal ang matagal na tinik na nakabara sa aking puso. Nothing happened.
Pero sa huli ay wala na rin naman 'yon. That experience made me realize nothing
really changes, tuloy pa rin ang buhay. Siguro mas mainam na sa tamang tao mo ito
ibigay pero sa huli naman ay hindi naman nabawasan ang pagkatao mo sakaling nawala
ito, as long as it's consensual.

And I also realized that during those years, wala namang mali kung pipiliin mo rin
na huwag muna ito ibigay. I was young back then, akala ko noon na isa itong simbolo
ng pag-ibig. When in fact, it isn't. A girl shouldn't be force to give herself to
prove that she loves a boy. Wala roon ang tunay na kahulugan ng pag-ibig. It is
only lust; not love. Because love will always wait. No matter how long it takes.
"Is that it? Ito lang ba ang gusto mo pagusapan?"

I sounded hopeful. Sana hindi dahil ayokong hanggang dito lang. Oo, lumayo ako sa
kanya dahil akala ko'y wala na talaga. Pero ngayon na parang binibigyan niya ako ng
pagasa, I'll gladly take it.

"I'm sorry," ulit niya na tila ba hindi niya narinig na pinapatawad ko na siya.

Nagulat ako dahil tumayo siya at unti-unting lumuhod.

Is this?

"Hala wait," Pinigilan ko siya sa gagawin niya, "hindi pa ako ready sa kasalan."

His brow shot up.

Ay, mali ba?

Bigla akong nag-iwas ng tingin at siningit ang ilang takas na buhok sa likod ng
aking tenga.

Sorry na.

"I want to apologize, Arrisea." He continued bending his knees. "Fuck, I know this
isn't enough. Marami akong sinabi sa'yo na hanggang ngayon ay pinagsisisihan ko.
Every time I remember how I made you feel like shit..."

He rested his forehead in my thigh. My heart immediately melted because of it.

Well, hindi naman kasi talaga ako pusong bato.

And honestly? Adren already went through a lot of trauma. Halos madurog ang puso ko
sa tuwing iniisip ko ang kabataan niya. How lonely he must have felt. At kung gaano
siya kalungkot no'ng mga panahon na wala ako sa tabi niya.

"I'm not hoping for you to come back to me. You deserve better-"

"You are the best option, Adren." I cupped his face so that our eyes would meet.

The thing about his onyx eyes, despite of how dark it was - there's this hidden
light called hope. I guess when love abandoned him, hope was there. Kaya kahit
walang pag-ibig ay may mga taong kinakaya ang buhay dahil nabubuhay sila sa pag-
asa.
His eyes softens. Para akong bumalik sa mga panahon na gusto kong patunayan sa
kanya na mabuti ang pag-ibig.

But that isn't true. When I lost him in my life, it opened my eyes that love can
indeed hurt you. Just because it's good, it doesn't mean it can't hurt you.

Ilang minuto ang lumipas na tinititigan lang namin ang isa't-isa. Kinakabisado ang
bawat sulok ng mukha. I'm sure that we're not the same Adren and Arrisea from
before but the feeling of familiarity was there.

I wasn't sure if he feels the same way...

Until his lips slowly reached for mine.

We kissed long and passionate. His hands were guiding my back and it travelled to
my neck, his slender fingers run through it. He buried his face to it, leaving
marks like how he used to.

Pinigilan ko ang sarili ko na gumawa ng kahit na anong tunog. My mouth beteayed me

as I spoke of his name in a lascivious way, making him more aggressive while I
matched his pace of kisses.

When we stopped, we were almost out of breath. The way we look at each other, we
know we both want it too. I kissed him again, this time a little more fiercer. I
can taste the vintage wine at the tip of his tongue. So classic.

There was this fire inside of us and it's igniting all sorts of flame. I guess,
tonight both of us will get burn by it.

For some reason, I found forgiveness between his touch and kisses. I didn't need
his words of assurance or his apology. All I wanted was this moment to come. Where
we could finally admit to ourselves that we still wanted each other.

Finally, this night made that come true.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

It's been a month since that night. Kapag naaalala ko 'yon ay agad na umiinit ang
mga pisngi ko. It was currently 5am in the morning, I decided to visit Etienne
because apparently it's been also a month since he went back home. Nagaalala si
Tita Ellise sa kanya. I doubt though, baka masyado na naman babad sa computers
niya.

Upon entering his office, I saw him sulking on his table. Si Paulene ay nandoon na
rin. Mukhang kararating lang din niya.
"Nag-OT na naman siya?" tanong ko kay Paulene.

"Oo e," Tumango si Paulene, "Ganyan 'yata talaga kapag pinanganak ka sa sama ng
loob."

Etienne huffed, "I can hear you, Paulene."

Tumayo siya upang kunin ang kape na nasa kamay ni Paulene. He looks worn out, the
bags underneath his eyes tells me that he didn't even had any blink of sleep.

"Nag-usap na kami ni Adren, by the way. Kaya medyo naging busy ako ngayong buwan.
We're trying to reconnect." I informed him. Pero mukhang alam naman niya.

Binaba niya ang tasa ng kape sa table ni Paulene. Bumalik siya sa kanyang pwesto.

"Duda akong usap lang ang nangyari." Etienne folded his arms across his chest,
leaning on his table.

"Sa rupok mong 'yan?" he criticized.

I grimaced at his statement. Napaka-judger!

"Usap nga lang," I insisted, clearing my throat while looking at the glass vase
besides his table. "Well, we also talked about how we'll try our best to make our
relationship work again."

"Congrats, Arri!" Paulene clasped her hand together, smiling brightly. "Taga-sana
all na lang talaga ako."

Etienne shot up his brow. "Naniniwala kang usap lang ang nangyari?"

Kumunot ang noo ni Paulene. "Sir, wala ka bang sex life?"

I laughed so hard that my stomach started hurting. Nakita ko kung paano nalaglag
ang panga ni Etienne sa sinabi ni Paulene. He sighs in disbelief as the crease on
his forehead increases.

"Bakit bibigyan mo ba ako?" bumawi si Etienne, arching an eyebrow.

Paulene acted surprise. Agad siyang pumunta sa desk niya upang kunin ang isang
folder. Bumalik siya at pinakita ito sa kanyang boss. Well, I don't even know if
Paulene sees Etienne as her superior.
"Sir, tamang-tama! Nandito lahat ng number nung mga clients ko na nanghingi ng
number mo-"

"Client?" nagtatakang tanong ni Etienne.

"Opo, Sir. Marami po kasing humihingi ng number niyo so binenta ko po per digit."
Paulene formed her hand into a peace sign.

Etienne clenched his jaw. "Isn't that a corporate malpractice? Bagsak ka ba sa

Business Ethics na subject niyo?"

I decided to leave the both of them because I know there's going to be a riot.
Walang araw na hindi nag-away ang dalawang 'yon. Etienne can't fire Paulene because
she's good at her job. Paulene can't resign because the pay is good. Kaya naman
talagang nagtitiis na lang 'yata silang dalawa sa isa't isa.

I went to my job afterwards. Tuwing weekends lang naman ini-ere ang cooking show
ko. Sometimes, pre-recorded na lang ito. Minsan naman ay live kapag masyadong
mataas ang ratings para mas special daw. I don't get the logic though.

"Hi Chef!" bati nung isang camera crew saakin. Nginitian ko naman ito.

I went to the pantry to check the ingredients I'll use. Isang kilalang socialite
ang guest ngayon sa cooking show ko. I think we'll showcase the Filipino culture
through our dishes. Pwede naman na ang mga staff ang sumuri rito pero mas panatag
ako kung ako mismo ang titingin sa mga gagamitin.

After that, I went to my own dressing room. Sinuot ko lang ang chef's jacket ko at
nagpa-apply ng make up sa mukha. My Stylist opted for a more clean look since the
guest today is a known socialite, baka raw mairita kapag tinalbugan ko.

"Do I need some script for this? Wala namang pinasa saakin." I asked Direk Tabby,
the director of my show.

"Wala e, gusto raw kasi nung guest mo ngayon ay ad lib daw para mas makatotohanan."
Direk Tabby looked at me with remorse.

She sighs. "I'm sorry, may kapit kasi sa mga producers kaya hindi ko nagawan ng
paraan."

I smiled at her to assure her that it's okay.

"Okay lang, Direk Tabby. I can still do my part without a script."

We started to prepare ourselves as the show is about to air. A red neon sign with
an on-air written on it immediately lights up, signalling me that it's already
time.

"Welcome to Magandang Life, people! This is another episode of cravings being

satisfied..." I stopped mid sentence because I saw someone entered the set.

She looks at me and smiled menacingly. I tried to dismissed it and continued my

intro, kahit medyo nauutal ako. This was live, what the heck!

"Today, we'll have our most awaited guest! Grabe, I feel so blessed to have her in
this show. A beloved socialite! Ibang level na pala talaga ako dahil mga ultra rich
na ang mga bisita ko rito." I nervously chuckled so that there's time for me to see
the name of the guest being shown on the screen infront of me.

My eyes widened as I read it.

Dayanara Reverio.

What the actually hell?!

My jaw dropped and I stopped functioning. Tumingin ako kay Direk Tabby, agad naman
niya itong nakuha at nag-signal saakin na mag-salita para sa commercial break.

"S-so, gusto ko kayo bitinin! After this break, you'll get to meet our beloved
guest! Mahuhulaan niyo kaya?" I winked on the camera to suppress what I'm currently
feeling.

I was scared for some reason. Nanginginig ang mga binti ko pero buti na lang ay
natatakpan ito kaya hindi nakikita ng mga crew.

"I'm so sorry, this was probably sudden for you."

Lumapit saakin si Dayanara. Kada hakbang niya papunta saakin ay lalo kong
nararamdaman ang tension galing sa kanya.

She looks gentle and kind compare to Adren's mother. Si Tita Anais kasi ay mas
mukhang mataray. Pero iba ang pakiramdam ko kay Dayanara, she omits a different
kind of atmosphere.

"N-no, nagulat lang po ako."

She only smiled at me.

When the commercial break was over, I tried my best to remain professional.
Binibiro ko pa si Dayanara kahit di ko alam kung natutuwa siya.

"Sanay na sanay po kayo sa paghihiwa ng mga kamatis," puri ko sa kanya. I do this

often to boost the confidence of the guests when it comes to their cooking.

"Well, I cook for my children."

She looks at me knowingly. It sent chills to my spine. Kinikilabutan ako sa mga

titig na binibigay niya saakin.

"Sa pagkakaalam ko ay school mate kayo ng anak kong lalaki, you might know him. His
name is Adonis but his peers call him Adren..."

"Ah, yes po. I know him. Ang pogi po ng anak niyo!" Tumawa na lang ako para maibsan
ang takot na nadarama.

"Yeah but he's kind of snobbish. Akala ko nga ay wala siyang mahahanap na babaing
kakayanin ang ugali niya."

She exasperatedly sighed.

"Meron naman po siguro."

She widened her smile. It was full of mockery. "Of course! He found her already.
Para ngang isang fairytale ang love story nila."

Iniwas ko ang tingin ko. I washed the kangkongs to divert my attention.

"Do you want to know the girl?" her tone was almost accusing me.

Hindi ako mapakali, she knows something. I know she do. The way her eyes bore into
my entire being tells me she knows everything.

"My son is dating Tatiana Fuentes, the handicapped model? Pero ngayon ay
nakakalakad na siya, my son helped her recover. What a beautiful love story, don't
you think?"

Nabitawan ko ang mga kangkong na kanina pa nalulunod sa tubig. Pinatay ko ang

gripo. I smiled at her.

We're freaking live. Nasa isang TV station kami ngayon. She knows it very well.
She's broadcasting this with me when in fact she knows...
"Good for them po."

Binalik niya lamang ang ngiti.

I know the truth, old hag.

Nagpatuloy kami sa pagluto ng sinigang. I was unusually quiet that Direk Tabby
would signal me to speak. I know I should be professional. I know. Pero hindi ko
magawa.

Habang nilalagay namin ang mga gulay para sa sinigang, I felt something on my
throat. My stomach was churning. Gusto ko masuka.

I signalled Direk Tabby to give a commercial break. Agad naman niya itong
pinagbigyan.

Sumuka ako sa malapit na basurahan.

"Oh my, don't you like sinigang?"

Lumapit sa akin si Dayanara at naramdaman ko ang paghagod niya sa likod ko.

"H-hindi naman po. Sa amoy lang po siguro."

Pero ilang beses na akong nakapagluto ng sinigang. Wala rin naman siyang nilagay
doon na hindi nakarating sa akin.

I wiped my lips with some tissue that was brought to me by the crew.

"Hija," Dayanara's eyes went to my stomach.

"Are you pregnant?"

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 37 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Contain disturbing scenes. Read at your own risk. DO NOT PROCEED if you
cannot take violence.

Kabanata 37
Natuloy ang episode, 'yun nga lang ay minadali ito dahil sa nangyari sa akin. I
could feel their sight at me, alam kong may kumakalat na may non-showbiz boyfriend
ako kaya naman nakikita ko na kaagad ang mga spekulasyon sa kanilang mga mata.

Of course, I was doubting myself too. Isa lang ang alam kong sigurado. Adren is the
father if I'm carrying an unborn child inside me.

"That's nice, being a mother is the essence of a woman after all." ani Dayanara,
ang mga mata'y nasa tiyan ko pa rin.

I decided not to dwell on it too much. It's a blessing and I'm already an adult.
Kaya ko naman na ito buhayin kahit wala si Adren pero syempre nanaig pa rin sa akin
ang magkaroon ng kumpletong pamilya.

Gusto ko rin ito. It's my choice to have this child. Kahit na parang hindi ito
planado.

Dumaan ako sa pharmacy para bumili ng PT kit. I decided to take a pregnancy test
when I got home. Dumiretso ako sa banyo at nagsimulang gawin ang test.

Nanginginig pa ako habang hinihintay ang resulta. My mouth slightly parted when it
revealed two lines.

My heart was beating loudly. Pakiramdam ko ay katumbas na ito ng tibok ng dalawang

tao. My eyes started watering because of it.

I can't believe it was possible to love someone that you can't hold yet. Hindi ko
pa siya nakikita pero pakiramdam ko ay mas mahal ko pa siya sa sarili ko.

"I'll take care of you, I promise..." I rubbed my stomach to feel my child. Our
child.

Kinabukasan ay gumawa ako ng party na ako lang ang nakakaalam ng okasyon. I baked a
cake and decided to put chocolates inside of it. Ang mga chocolates ay hinango ko
sa disenyo ng mga damit ng mga baby. I cooked a lot of food that our dinner seems
to be like a feast.

"Anong meron?" Arya asked. "Are you doing a taste testing?"

"No, you'll know later."

Tumango si Arya.

I decided to text Adren to come to our house. I was excited to tell him. Gusto ko
ulit malaman nila Mama na okay na kami ni Adren.

It was 8pm when everything was all done. I even prepared some confetti, sa sobrang
saya ko. Arya and Archer kept on glancing at me like I was weird. I get it though,
I was really acting out of the usual.

When I received a text from Adren that he was already at the gate. Sinundo ko siya
mula rito. I saw him pacing back and forth again, I remembered the first time he
met my family.

"Adren," I smiled at him as I opened the gate. "Pumasok ka na."

"Don't they hate me?"

"Bakit naman?"

Napalunok siya. "You know that the both of us didn't end things well..."

Umiling naman ako.

Kahit ganun ang nangyari sa amin, I didn't want Adren's image to my family to be
stained on. Hindi ko rin kasi maintindihan kung bakit kailangan mong siraan ang ex
mo sa pamilya mo kapag naghiwalay kayo. Pero wala naman ako sa posisyon ng iba at
sabagay wala naman kasing ginawang mali si Adren para sa akin.

Pumasok na kami sa loob at agad na niyakap ni Mama si Adren. He returned the hug to
her. Ngumiti naman si Arya kay Adren pero nanatiling nakakunot ang noo ng bunso
kong kapatid. He's the only boy here in the house so I get his sentiments. Malamang
ay nagseselos sa atensyon na binibigay kay Adren.

Adren was catching up with my family while we were at the dining area. Tumikhim ako
nang mapansin ko na tumatagal na ang kanilang interaksyon.

Kumuha ako ng kutsilyo at inabot ito kay Adren.

"Cut the cake for me, please." I sweetly asked.

Adren furrowed his eyebrows but did as I told. I heard the cracking sounds of the
chocolates inside. Kinuha niya ako ng isang slice at inabot sa akin ito.

Bumalik na siya sa pagkausap kay Mama pero napansin niya ang umasim ang mukha ko.

"Why?"
Ngumuso ako. "Check the insides!"

Tiningnan naman niya ang loob ng cake. "It's all melted..."

Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla akong naiiyak. Oo nga pala, syempre ilalagay 'yon sa
oven. Masyado 'yata akong naging excited kanina, nawala sa isip ko.

Sayang.

"Hey, we'll buy more if you wanted chocolates that badly..." Adren wiped the tears
from my face.

“I have something to say...” I heaved a deep breath before looking at him directly
in his eyes.

"Buntis ako." I said between my sobs. "You're the father, Adren."

I wasn't able to see Adren's reaction, nauna pa kasing magbigay ng reaksyon ang
pamilya ko.

"What the? You had sex, Ate?" Archer chimed in.

Agad na pinalo ni Mama ang bibig ni Archer. For pete's sake, he was still in
elementary! Pero hindi ko siya masisisi dahil si Arya ang madalas kasama niya. Arya
really wants a doctor from the family, she's teaching him anatomy at the age of
four.

"Congrats!" Bati ni Mama. "Magkaka-apo na ako!"

I smiled at her and looked at Adren. He looks stupefied as he reached for my hands.

"Is this for real?"

His eyes softened and I can see a small smile forming in his lips.

I nodded my head eagerly.

He enveloped me into an embrace and I felt his heart hammering against his chest.
He was hugging me tightly, napunta ang mata niya sa tiyan ko. I reached for his
hand and put it on my stomach. I could see the tears forming in his eyes.

"I love you so much, Arrisea." He touches my face. "I can't wait to spend my every
day with you."

"With us," I corrected.

"Of course, with our family." He kissed me on my lips.

“Should we prepare for a wedding?”

“Definitely! Dapat beach wedding! Saka kapag nalabas ko na 'to! Ayoko magmukhang
balyena sa kasal ko 'no!” I chuckled.

Adren and I really wanted to tie the knot. Kaso ay may inaasikaso pa siya. We're
also not telling anyone that we're together again; maliban na lang syempre kay
Etienne, Paulene at sa pamilya ko. Tatiana is still there and she could do
something wicked again.

I can see the joy in Adren's eyes. Noong una, natakot ako na baka hindi niya ito
tanggapin. He didn't grew up in a good environment and his family isn't that loving
too.

Kaya naman magiging pangarap ko na rin ang mabigyan siya ng isang buong masayang
pamilya. I smiled to myself as I saw Adren talking with my family.

This life couldn't get any better.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

I talked to Direk Tabby and told her the news. Pinaulanan ako ng mga pagbati galing
sa mga crew. Mahal ko ang trabaho ko pero gusto ko mag-focus sa baby sa ngayon kaya
nagpaalam ako na kung pwede ay magkaroon ako ng isang taon na pahinga. Of course,
I'll recommend another chef, baka nga sila mismo ay makahanap din kaagad.

My phone vibrated. Agad ko itong sinagot dahil si Adren ang tumawag sa akin. I
frowned because upon answering it. Adren sounded distress.

“Arri?”

“Yeah?” I answered while walking towards the dressing room.

“Nasaan ka? Stay where you are. Pumunta ka sa maraming tao. Please.”

“Bakit? Pauwi na ako...”

“The police are looking for Tatiana. She's getting arrested for embezzlement. Pero
nakatakas siya at mukhang —”

Naputol ang linya. I sighed, mahina ang signal sa itaas na bahagi ng building na
ito. I'm sure that the security is tight and Tatiana will be found sooner or later.
Pero hindi ko alam bakit hindi ako mapanatag sa bawat hakbang ko.

Paakyat na ako ng hagdanan upang kuhanin ang mga gamit ko sa dressing room. Pero
may nakaabang na babae roon.

It was Tatiana.

Halos mawalan ng kulay ang aking mukha. I immediately gulped before backing away,
step by step.

"Ayaw mo talaga ako tantanan, ano?" she accused me. Unti-unti siyang lumapit sa
akin.

My brow shot up. Pinipigilan ang takot na nararamdaman. She looks dangerous. She
looked like she didn't care anymore. Gone with her facade. She smirked evilly.

"Ano bang pinagsasabi mo?"

Palapit siya nang palapit sa akin. Ang bawat tibok ng puso ko ay lumalakas naman
nang lumalakas. Shit. This isn't good.

"Bakit ka pa bumalik? Adren was almost mine! Malapit na siya maging akin! Pero
anong ginawa mo?! Nagpa-buntis ka! You desperate whore!" she screamed at the top of
her lungs.

Walang bakas ng mahinhin na Tatiana ang nasa harap ko ngayon. She really did just
hide her true personality. Para lang magustuhan ni Adren. She did everything just
to get him. My stomach churned, and I can feel that I'm not the only one who's
nervous right now.

"Wala akong alam sa pinagsasabi mo. Stop deluding yourself, matanda na tayo. Baka
naman 'yung utak mo kahit papaano ay lumalaki na rin."

Her tears was falling down her face. She didn't bother wiping it off.

She laughed and glared at me sharply.

"I didn't get my justice for what you did to me," she gravely said. "I think I'll
get it today."
"Anong ibig mong sabihin—" I wasn't able to finish my sentence because she pushed
me.

Nanglaki ang mga mata ko nang unti-unti akong mawalan ng balanse.

My body pounded against the hard staircase. My body was aching all over when it
reached the last step. I can't feel my bones.

Naririnig ko ang mga hakbang niya papunta sa akin. She pulled my hair. Tiningnan
niya ako habang naghihingalo ako sa sakit. Nanginginig ako sa takot. I never felt
so scared. Tangina, kahit ako na lang! Huwag lang 'yung bata!

"Your face..." she laughs. "I wonder if I destroy that face of yours..."

I was about to protest —

She repeatedly smashed my head to the floor. Paulit-ulit kahit halos magmaakawa na
ako na tumigil na siya.

"Please..." I begged for her mercy as I held on her legs. Nalalasahan ang dugong
lumalabas galing sa aking labi. "Kahit para sa bata na lang..."

She smirks. "Don't worry, gagawa kami ni Adren ng bagong baby."

Pinagpatuloy niya ang ginagawa niya. She repeatedly did it until every bone of my
body felt numb.

I was gasping for air as my vision was slowly turning to black.

Until I couldn't open my eyes anymore.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Kabanata 38 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 38

I sometimes wonder why bad things happen to people. Sabi nila, karma raw ito sa mga
masamang ginawa ng mga tao. It's just the consequences of their actions. Whatever
you throw at people will eventually be thrown towards you.

Pero paano naman ako? Ano bang ginawa ko?

I admit that I'm not perfect, I'm not even considered as a good person. Sa mata ng
marami ay maaaring hindi ako magandang ehemplo upang gayahin ng mga tao. I do
things like cursing, drinking and I'm mostly driven by my hormones. Pero ni minsan
ay hindi ko hinangad na makasakit ng taong walang ginawang masama sa akin. Kaya
hanggang ngayon ay nagtataka ako kung bakit ba paulit-ulit na lang itong
nangyayari. My life was like a cycle of misfortunes.

"Arri..."

I was too numb, I don't know if it's because of
the solemn feeling inside of my chest that just
empty space of the room because I can't move my
the incident. Naranasan ko na ito noon, my face
to make light out of it.
the medicines they gave to me or
won't sink. I kept staring at the
face due to bruises I've got from
was heavily injured but I was able

I tried pinching myself just to feel pain but even if my skin bleeds, the pain just
won't come. I wanted to feel pain to let myself know that I was still alive. I
don't know...I know pain isn't the only validation to feel alive but I wasn't
capable of feeling joy or anything right now. Kahit sana sakit na lang para alam
kong buhay pa ako.

"Arri, do you wanna eat something?"

Adren was holding my hand, gently rubbing it. I feel nothing. I couldn't find any
warmth in his cold hands.

"The baby is still inside me, right?" I asked, unexpectedly my voice turned out
hoarse.

"I love you."

I can't look at him right now.

The lump in my throat continues to grow. The tears I tried so hard to suppressed
from falling decided it's time for them to go. My heart finally felt heavy and the
hollow feeling was replaced with excruciating pain.

Ah, finally, there's pain. Buhay ka pa nga, Arrisea.

Buhay ka pa nga pero parang pinatay ka na rin.

I wanted to scream but I have no voice. I wanted to hurt someone but I have no
energy to. I wanted to hurt someone so badly...but that won't bring my baby back.

"Arri, I love you." Adren was kissing my knuckles, it felt wet and it was probably
also from his tears.

"Did you know I was planning on naming the baby with a letter A too?" A bittersweet
feeling entered my chest. "Paano ko na siya papangalanan ngayon?"

I sniffed but the tears won't stop.

"Arri..." he kissed the top of my head as his grip on my hand tightens. "I'm sure
that our baby is proud of you. You're still here. I thought...I've lost you
forever."

"I couldn't save our baby..."

Adren shed a tear.

"I told myself that I'll stay with you, kahit isang rason lang 'yon. But I saw you
having a more peaceful life without me. I couldn't take that away from you..."

His breathing hitched. "Your peace matters the most, Arri. I just thought I could
be with you when things are already settled. Pero hanggang ngayon ay gulo pa rin
ang dala ko sa'yo..."

Our gazes locked with each other.

We both understood what it meant. Sometimes, we have to let go of certain people,

memories, or places just to regain our peace. Adren's grip on my hand loosen and he
gave a smile.

I guess no matter how many years have passed, I will forever be in love with his
smile.

"I love you every day, Arrisea."

The muscles on my face had a hard time moving but I forced myself to lift the
corners of my lips.

"I love you every day, Adren."

He slowly stood up. He left the room with slow and heavy steps. It felt like
forever before it sinks in to me that Adren was already gone. I continued looking
at the empty space.

Finally, peace.
It took months before I finally accepted that A was gone. The baby I never got to
hold. I wanted to blame myself, if only I let someone else fixed my things that day
or if I only didn't talk to Tatiana then A was probably still here. Nandito pa sana
ang anak ko. There are times where I'll just sit down and cry for hours because the
regrets were consuming my entire being. Ang dami kong pagsisisi na hanggang ngayon
ay sinisisi ko pa rin sa sarili ko.

Masyado akong nagmadali. Sa sobrang sabik ko magmahal muli ay sinunggaban din agad
ako ng sakit.

I don't have the strength to see Tatiana even if she was behind bars. Am I being
inhumane if I'll confess that I wanted her to suffer more than that? Buhay ang
kinuha niya sa amin, hindi ito matutumbasan ng kahit ano.

Pero gusto ko na matapos ang sakit. Gusto ko na lagyan ito ng tuldok.

The prison makes my skin crawl. Hindi pa ako nakakapasok sa loob pero dama ko kung
paano dumadaplis ang takot sa mga puso ng mga nasa loob ng rehas. I fixed my self
before talking to one of the guards to guide me through this hellhole.

Ilang beses ko inisip kung paano ko kakausapin ang taong ilang ulit ko na pinatawad
pero paulit-ulit lang ako sinasaktan sa mga desisyon niya. The door opened and it
revealed a woman that seems familiar but also unfamiliar at the same time. Umakyat
ang takot sa dibdib ko habang unti-unti siyang umuupo sa harapan ko.

"Are you happy now?" she asked, gritting her teeth.

I looked at Tatiana, she wasn't hiding the spite on her face. Ramdam na ramdam ko
ang galit niya saakin, she looks disheveled in her detainee uniform.

"The mere fact you didn't even regret what you did disgusts me." I told her, not
backing out from her eyes.

"I'll do that over and over again just to make you suffer, Arri. You deserved it."

She sounded wicked. Tumatawa siya habang may mga patak ng luha sa kanyang mga
pisngi. I wanted to feel pity for her, pero wala akong maramdaman kundi galit dahil
walang bahid ng pagsisisi sa kanyang mukha.

"In what reason did I deserve it?"

"Mangaagaw ka!"

"Anong inagaw ko sa'yo? Si Adren? Bakit? May pangalan mo ba si Adren? Binili mo?
Pinalagyan mo ng copyright?" my emotions was getting ahead of me.
"I had him first! Una ko siyang nakilala sa'yo! Akin si Adren!"

"But you don't own him! You can't own people, Tatiana! You are being delusional
when you think that you own people because you don't. They belong to themselves,
sila ang nakakaalam kung sino ang gusto nila. Stop your delusions, it's
disgusting."

Tumahimik siya. At agad na umiyak. “You don't deserve him!”

I thought I can forgive her but seeing how she doesn't change and she clearly still
think she's a victim, it makes me want to barf. May mga tao talaga na kahit wala ka
namang ginawang mali sa kanila ay ikaw pa ang gagawing masama.

"Mangaagaw ka! Mangaagaw! Inagaw mo ang dapat saakin!"

She was screaming hysterically while pointing her finger at me, may mga umawat
naman sa kanya na mga pulis na siyang nagsisilbing bantay niya.

“We could have been friends,” nanginginig kong saad, halos unti-unting nadudurog
ang puso. “We didn't have to end up like this, Tatiana. Why did you have to do it?”

“Mahal ko si Adren, Arrisea! He should have been mine! Lahat ginawa ko para sa
kanya! I even changed my entire image to fit his taste!” she cried out. Napapikit
ako nang mariin habang unti-unting kumuyom ang kamao ko.

“You know what makes me sad more?” pinilit ko siyang tingnan kahit namumuo ang
galit sa aking puso.

“Sinira mo 'yung buhay mo para sa wala.” I spat out before walking out. I was
shaking as I kept on removing the tears on my eyes.

I didn't want her to destroy my peace so I left. The best way to protect your peace
is to ignore those who tries to destroy it. Sa huli naman, sila lang ang
nagpapalungkot sa sarili nila.

I always remind myself that it's never my loss because I could have offered them
genuine support and love but they decided to be toxic to me instead. I wanna remind
myself that cutting toxicity from my life is okay and it's normal.

I should never feel bad about it.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜
 Kabanata 39 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 39

The thing about moving on, it is easy to assume that things would fall into places
when you accept that everything happens for a reason. You hurt, for a reason. You
suffer, for a reason. You move forward, for a reason.

I don't even know what reason I should believe in. Bakit nga ba ako nasasaktan nang
ganito? If things really do happen for a reason, for what reason should I feel so
empty and low right now?

I didn't hesitate to pay them a visit. Kababalik ko pa lamang pero nanaig ang
kagustuhan ko na makita sila.

I used the keycard to his office. Nakatulala si Paulene, she look quiet dazed.
Parang malalim ang iniisip. On the other part, Etienne was on his chair while
typing whatever code in his computer.

My brows furrowed. Is that even a computer? Ang laki ng monitor niya e. It can
already be a flat screen TV.

"Arrisea!" Paulene exclaimed excitedly. Medyo umaliwas ang mukha niya nang makita
niya ako.

Lumapit ako sa kanya para bigyan siya ng isang yakap. She return the hug earnestly.
Sobrang higpit pa nga ng kanyang yakap, para bang ayaw niya akong pakawalan. I let
out a chuckle when we decided to let go of each other.

"It's been what? A year?"

Tumango naman ako kay Paulene at sinagot ang kanyang tanong.

"Yeah, the province was great."

Pampanga was great. Nanirahan ako roon para iwan ang mga isyu na kumakalat sa akin
sa Maynila. I had to step down from the spotlight since speculations from the press
can ruin Adren's reputation and also I really wanted to unwind from everything.

I wanted to regained my strength back.

Umupo ako sa visitor's area ng office niya. Etienne was too busy to notice me or he
already probably know I'm here but he couldn't careless. Katulad ni Paulene,
mukhang may malalim din siyang problema.
Mukhang kailangan din nilang pumunta sa probinsya para magkaroon ng oras ng
pagmumuni-muni.

I decided to pick a magazine to entertain myself. Hihintayin ko na lang na sila na

mismo ang magsalita. Paulene was continously cleaning Etienne's table. It was rare
for her to do that since she's not in charge of utility and she doesn't have an
OCD.

Bumalik ang tingin ko sa magazine na binabasa ko. This feels like deja vú, I kind
of did this before too.

Etienne stopped typing on his computer. Umangat ang tingin niya saakin habang pilit
kong kinukuha ang atensyon niya. I pursed my lips and decided not to talk, patuloy
lang ako sa pagtingin sa magazine na binabasa ko ngayon.

"Solstice gave up the company?" paguulit ko sa nabasa ko sa front page.

Nanglaki ang mga mata ko nang mabasa ang headline. Reverio Heiress got decrowned?

I mean, Adren is the rightful heir. Pero ayon sa mga kwento ni Paulene at ilang
iniwan na pahayag ni Etienne kay Solstice, she's very persistent when it comes to
the company. Buong buhay niya 'yata ay doon lang umikot ang mundo niya.

"Uh huh, Adren's the only one handling it. Wala na siyang kaagaw..." Etienne looks
uneasy.

Tumikhim si Paulene at bahagyang tumaas-baba ang mga kilay. She knows something
because she looked at Etienne teasingly.

"Ayieee! May umaasa na," Paulene chortled. "Go Boss!"

Etienne immediately glared at her. Pero wala itong masabi. Baka nga totoo, umaasa
nga ito kay Solstice.

"Gio is coming back this year, right? He's inviting us to get some drinks," I
informed Etienne, remembering the text Gio sent me a day ago.

I'm not sure what happened with his mind that he suddenly wants to go back. I heard
he is doing well overseas, so the sudden announcement is actually quite surprising.

"Ayiee, may umaasa nga." Humalakhak si Etienne. He slouched on his chair, wearing a
teasing smile.

"Umaasa? Ako? Ikaw lang 'yon." I laughed too. “I mean, Tita Ellise...”
“Don't mind my Mom, she probably knows the truth already. Ayaw niya lang bitawan
ang pantasya niya na magkakaroon siya ng apo.”

“Well, bakit kasi hindi mo pagbigyan?” I playfully wiggled my eyebrows. Umangat ang
tingin ni Etienne sabay pakita ng kanyang dirty finger saakin.

He shifted the topic, probably because talking about babies bothers him.

“I heard Tatiana is still serving her sentence,” Etienne trailed off.

Tumango naman ako. That's right, her name still haunts me. Pakiramdam ko ay
nagkulang din ako pagdating sa kan'ya. Kahit gusto ko sana siyang patawarin ay
hindi ko pa mahanap ito sa aking puso. Her own selfish desire made me lost my own
flesh and blood. Hinahanap ko pa ang tamang panahon para mapatawad siya.

“Dayanara Reverio is also on fire in the press since she has been endorsing Tatiana
from the start. Ngayon naman ay todo takwil na siya rito.”

Natigilan ako at tumingin kay Etienne. “Well, ano na nangyari?”

“I think Sol have something to do with it, she's desperate to get the company...”

“Iba talaga si Sol, ano?” I teased him, putting down the magazine.

Umiling-iling naman si Etienne saakin at nilipat ang tingin sa iba. Si Paulene

naman ay mukhang natuod sa kanyang pwesto. Kanina pa siya tulala kaya di na
nakakapagtaka.

"Right." Tumango-tango si Etienne, trying to look like he was convince.

"I'm planning on quiting the whole cooking show entirely. Nakapagpaalam na rin ako
sa Manager ko." I decided to tell them my decision.

It's a huge opportunity but the trauma is still there. Every time I see the stairs,
halos manghina ang buong sistema ko. I couldn't erase the idea that something might
happen again. I also went through some counseling but it takes time to drown the
thoughts out.

"Well, if that what makes you happy..."

I only gave a smile.

"I'm also planning on building my own restaurant! Ayoko na umasa kay Mama at sa
business niya. I want my own."

One of the reasons why I went back to Manila was to check the process of my
business. So far, we're already planning on building the first branch in Quezon
City. Arya helped me while I was still coping with almost everything. Siya mismo
ang umasikaso ng mga permit para sa business.

After catching up with them. I decided to leave because I still have to go

somewhere.

Habang nasa biyahe, I was constantly thinking if only I didn't barge into his life
— will things end up like this? Kung hindi ko lang pinagpilitan ang ideya na mabuti
ang pag-ibig, wouldn't I be this devastated?

The truth was, love was good but the people who loves are not always good. We are
all flawed, but in those times we let love invade our life we learn to accept the
bad sides of the people we love. That what makes love good.

I stopped the engine when I reached the parking lot. Tiningnan ko pa ulit ang
paligid bago bumaba ng kotse. The same breeze of wind immediately welcome me to
where it all started. I could hear my heart throbbing against my chest as I walk
towards the college building. It was the weekend but I was able to enter the school
because I had connections with the school administration.

Sa gitna ng pagakyat ko sa makipot na hagdanan ay may pumigil saakin.

"Ma'am!" A utility staff greeted me. "Nandito ka po pala ulit."

I must be familiar to those who work here during the weekends. I use to visit the
rooftop whenever I had the chance before. Pakiramdam ko noon, napapawi ang lungkot
at problema ko kapag nasa rooftop ako.

Ngumiti ako sa kanya. "Yes, I'm just checking the rooftop..."

Rooftop. Our place. Our haven.

Bahagyang tumawa ang utility staff. Batid ang pagod sa mga mata pero nagagawa niya
pang makipagbiruan saakin.

Sinandal niya ang kanyang mga kamay sa kanyang cleaning trolley.

"Nabalitaan niyo rin po pala? Balak nga pong i-renovate ang lugar na 'yan."

"Renovate?"
"Gagawin pong kainan. Para naman po may pakinabang daw po."

I nodded as my eyes went towards the door of the rooftop. The idea was good. I
wished they would push the idea of boho interior design, kung sakaling itutuloy
nila ang plano para sa rooftop.

"That's good..." I forced myself to lift the corners of my lip.

Tuluyan na nga 'yatang binubura ang mga alaala namin.

The utility staff gathered his cleaning trolley before giving out a grin.

"Sige, Ma'am. Maglilinis pa po ako e. Ingat po kayo palagi!"

I curtly smiled. "Thank you. Kayo rin po."

Nagpaalam na saakin 'yung utility staff at hinatak ang hawak niyang cleaning
trolley. My eyes darted at the door for the rooftop again. Bumuntong hininga muna
ako bago tuluyang umakyat.

I opened the door and the wind immediately came in. The rooftop was miraculously
clean as I walk inside the area. No dust or any particles that could make it look
dirty. Siguro nga hinahanda nila ito para sa renovation.

I looked up in the sky and saw the sun, glaring it's heat and warmth in my skin.
Madalas makulimlim lamang ang langit no'ng kami dalawa ni Adren ang nandito. It
seems like things do change as time goes by.

Pumikit ako nang mariin. I remember the rooftop vividly. The aging concrete walls
and the paint that is slowly losing its color used to be there but now it is
already covered in pastel white paint. The metal fences that used to be rusty are
also replace with brand new glass fences instead.

As I was letting myself be captivated with the nostalgia of how things used to
be...

The door opened...

Unti-unting dumilat ang mga mata ko.

I looked over to the person who opened the door. The nostalgia coursed over me.
My eyes softened as I smile.

"Ang tagal mo naman..."

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

kabanata 40 [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Kabanata 40

The first time I saw Adren. He was like an angel opening the gates of heaven.
Hanggang ngayon ay tila nakapinta ang mukha niya sa bawat sulok ng aking isip. He
was there. He was always there.

Adren slowly walked in and he closed the door by locking the doorknob. Unti-unti
siyang lumapit saakin. It's been a year but his fragrance is still the same as it
hits my nostrils.

"Ang tagal mo naman..." I playfully teased him.

He gave a smile. A genuine one.

The genuine smile almost made my eyes well up, the sides of my eyes are turning to
crimson as it softens. You've grown so much. So much that sometimes it scares me
that you are already a person of your own. Hindi mo na ako kailangan sa buhay mo,
Adren.

And that's fine. Really. We don't live for other people. We live for our own. The
person who taught me that was also you. Kaya sino ako para hilingin na sana ay para
saakin lahat ng improvements mo?

"Sorry, the meeting was too long." His eyes travelled to my face. "I miss you,
Arrisea."

"I miss you too." I gave him the smile I've always showed him.

He untied his tie as his adam's apple moved. Mukhang hindi lang ako ang kabado sa
aming dalawa.

I decided to sat down in the floor, the way I used to before when we were in senior
high. Tinabihan niya ako sa pag-upo sa sahig. The silence was slowly consuming us.
Paano nga ba ito sisimulan?

I took a deep breath and stared at those onyx eyes that seems to have an endless
trail of darkness. He was looking at me too with the intense gaze as before.
"I called you today because I've realized that we took things a little too fast.
Forgiveness was easy because we love each other. But...we should have..." I have
stopped in the middle of the sentence.

Where do I start?

How can we move on from this phase?

When it still hurts so much?

"Arri..." he spoke my name like how soft the cotton balls touch your skin. It gives
me that feeling. The gentle kind of touch even if he was only speaking my name.

"You don't have to..." he caressed my hair, slowly touching every strand of it.

"What?" my voice croaked. The feeling was too overwhelming. Pakiramdam ko ay

namamala ang aking lalamunan.

"Force yourself to forgive people. You don't have to do that." A sad smile formed
in the outline of his mouth.

"That's my way of moving on..."

In order to move on, you must forgive. It is a way to easily forget something. When
it no longer matters to you, when it no longer hurts you, and when it no longer
makes you move forward painstakingly slow.

"Moving on isn't about forgiving. Yes, it could help the process. But moving on
means you have been completely healed." He buried his face in the side of my neck.
"If it still bothers you that much, Arri. Give yourself some kindness to hold the
pain for a while. If it still matters to you, it will be painful but it will make
you value what you have right now."

I embrace his warmth. No longer feeling empty and cold. Sa lugar kung saan ko
nakita ang totoong siya, doon din pala kami magtatagpo. Sa gitna ng sakit at pag-
ibig, nahanap ko si Adren. If I have to go all through that again just to
experience his love — I'll go for it.

I'll gamble everything I have just for him. Para sa pag-ibig niya. Para sa aming
dalawa.

Tumingin ako sa kanya. I cupped his face as I grasp for my air, my eyes are misty
as I look at the man I love.
"I'm sorry if it took too long too..." I wanted my peace when all along it was him.
Despite the disasters, it was him that made everything worthwhile.

I had to recover from the trauma. I had to move away from where Tatiana is. Sa
tuwing may nakikita akong hagdan, my mind constantly reminds me of how neglectful I
was.

A part of me will always blame myself for all the bad things that happened to me.
Pero alam ko naman na hindi ko ito kontrolado. It was beyond my reach.

“Naked truth, Adren?” umangat ang tingin ko sa kan'ya. His eyes had waves of
emotions in it.

“I accepted every bad thing that happened to me, kasi pakiramdam ko deserve ko
'yon. People kept on calling me a bad example. And maybe, I am? And maybe I really
did deserve this because I wasn't good enough for them...”

Anak nga naman ako sa labas. I am shameful. I am not good. At kung ililista ko
lahat ng kasalanan ko, baka kulang pa ang back-to-back na papel.

But I've realized, did that mean I deserve all of this?

“Tatiana's mother got arrested for harrassing my family,” lumunok ako para pigilan
ang pag-iyak. “Anong karapatan niyang gawin 'yon? When I never sued her for abusing
me? Kasi akala ko noon, I was the sin. Kaya hinayaan ko siya, Adren.”

He kissed my palms as tears started forming into his eyes. He was also holding my
hands that were cupping his face. His sincere eyes no longer hold any grudges in
this world.

“Adren, I'm sorry if I cannot be perfect. That you had to go through a lot because
of me...” bulong ko.

Agad siyang umiling, tears falling from his onyx eyes.

“No, Arrisea. You were the one who had to go through a lot...” he kissed me with
the last remaining strength that he had.

"I live knowing that no one in this world can love me..." his kisses trailed up to
my neck. "The world is a cruel place to live in but with you, it seems like a
paradise for me."

"I love you. Still, and will forever love you in my every day life." I hugged him
as I let the tears come out from my eyes.
"Everyday is not even enough for me. Is this life time even enough to spend for
loving you?" he chuckled as his hands slowly enfolds my waist.

"Well..." a grin appeared on my face.

Forgiveness is for those who deserves it. It is not your way to cope. But for now,
forgiveness will be my way to have a taste for a life I always wanted.

"Masyado naman nilang ginandahan 'tong renovation." I exclaimed while letting my

eyes roamed around the area. It was indeed being beautified.

"I heard it will be a cafe soon," Adren looked upon the glass fences. "Looks like
more senior highschool students will make memories from this place."

"Di ka nagtatampo? This place used to be yours." I chimed in.

He was shaking his head while a smile was forming into his lips.

"This place was ours, Arri. I want to share this place with others knowing this is
the place where I fell for you. A place where people would witness how someone can
love another person despite of how dark they were."

My heart melted because of what he said. Pakiramdam ko ay ang taas ng tingin niya
saakin. With that, I'm grateful for the times I have with him.

"Then shall we?"

"Hm?" lumingon siya saakin.

Tinuro ko ang isang bakanteng espasyo kung saan hindi pa napipinturahan. Isang
sulok kung saan hindi pa binabago. Isang alaala na nandito kami noon.

Naghanap ako ng pangukit. At unti-unting inukit ang semento ang aking pangalan.

Arrisea was here.

I gave him the one I used to engraved my marking. He smiled as he slowly wrote his.

Adren was here too.

Binalik niya saakin ang ginamit naming stick. Pero nagulat ako nang unti-unti niya
itong nilapit muli sa semento para may ukitin muli. I followed his lead as we
engraved something together.

And together, they conquered the darkness.

Together. We went through some darkness but along in the dark, we found each other.

My lips touched his as I'm praying in my head that things with him will slow down
now. Marami na kaming nasayang na oras. Tama na siguro 'yon para mahanap namin ang
hinahanap naming pag-ibig sa isa't isa.

He returned my kiss, with fondness and love. He was guiding my back as our kiss
gets deeper.

We were young back then, not knowing how painful love can be. We were surrounded
with ideas about love that we forgot about it's true meaning.

"You know how people translate Romans 5:8?" I ask, after breaking off our kiss.

"Hmm?" Adren was still daze from the kiss. I let out a small giggle.

"They say, it's suppose to say..." I whispered to him, lovingly. "I loved you at
your darkest."

Sa mundo kung saan napupuno ng panghuhusga; kailangan mo lang ng tao na

makakaunawa.

We are not all the same.

But it doesn't make us any different from each other. We are all flawed.

And despite Adren's flaws...

I love him.

I cupped his face as I let my tears flow down my cheeks. Pareho kaming nakangiti sa
isa't-isa. He's crying too.

I love you, Adren...

And I'll still love you, every day despite the darkness that will come. That's how
much you mean to me. You were not only a part of my senior highschool. You were my
senior highschool, I'm glad I met you during the days I was in my darkness too.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Wakas [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Wakas

"Kabado ka pa rin?" tanong ni Gio. He seems to notice how uneasy I feel.

"Baka takbuhan ako, e." I chuckled as I nervous fixed my tie.

Nasa isa kaming hotel ngayon, for the preparations. I was currently looking at the
mirror with a nervous smile plastered on my face. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala.
We're finally tying the knot.

"Pangalawang kasal niyo na 'to, 'tol. Takot ka pa rin? Baka nga mauna pa 'yon sa
lugar kung saan kayo magh-honeymoon." Gio groaned as he plopped himself on the
couch.

It still feels like the first time though. Although we already had our first
wedding in Balesin since Arri wanted a beach wedding. Mas gusto pa rin ng Mama ni
Arrisea na magkaroon kami ng kasal sa simbahan. It was her only condition before
accepting our demand to be wed.

In my peripheral view, I could see Gio's annoyed expression. Nakakunot ang noo at
kanina pa umiigting ang panga. He was my best man. Noong una ay nagtatampo pa siya
nung sabihin ko na pinagiisipan ko kung siya ba o si Etienne. Dapat daw kasi ay
siya lamang ang choice. Hindi raw dapat kasama si Etienne dahil nakakabastos daw sa
kanya 'yon.

I only shook my head. I would never understand why he hate him so much. I mean,
Etienne is an asshole. Totoo naman at saksi kami ni Arrisea kung gaano kalala ang
pagiging asshole niya. Yet at the same time, Etienne was also our bridge to get
together again.

I remember how Etienne helped me to fix things before coming back to Arrisea. He
was also the one who presented the idea that we should split for a while. Habang
nasa paligid pa at nasa panig si Tatiana ng mga magulang ko.

"Why are you helping me?" I asked, obviously hating the fact that someone let
Etienne inside my office. Ipapalinis ko ito mamaya dahil ayoko ng presensya niya.

Ewan ko ba, minsan nakakatuwa si Etienne pero madalas nakaka-badtrip.

"Wow, ah? Ayoko rin sa'yo. Para kay Arrisea kaya kita tinutulungan," pangungumbinsi
niya. He was leaning against the wall, his eyes fixated on the family portrait on
my office.

Pati tuloy ang mga mata ko'y napunta roon. I stood tall with Alfos and Dayanara at
my side. Si Solstice ay nakaupo kasama ang bunso kong kapatid. We were formal in
the picture, maliban na lang kay Mareena na may ngiti sa labi.

"By doing this? You'll think Solstice will give up?"

He gave me a complete business plan that will contrast Solstice's presentation for
the board. Kumpleto ang mga detalye at mukhang mababasura nga ang gawa ni Solstice
kung gagamitin ko ito.

This manipulative bastard.

Nilalaro ni Etienne sa kamay niya ang hawak niyang stressball. He was squishing it
and watch it go to back to it's normal form.

Unti-unti siyang tumango. Seryoso pa rin ang tingin sa family portrait namin. He's
not even sparing me a glance. Pakiramdam ko ay napipilitan lang siyang kausapin
ako. Siya naman 'tong pumunta sa office ko. My lips curved into a grimace. He's
such a pain in the arse.

Tumikhim si Etienne, finally turning his attention to me.

"Any way, I'll handle Sol..."

In my amusement, I nibbled my lower lip. Hindi mapigilan ang ngisi na gumuhit sa

aking labi.

I slouched on my chair. "Gusto mo lang ba magkaroon ng dahilan para lapitan ang

kapatid ko?"

"No, why would I?"

"That's right, why would you?" balik ko sa tanong niya. He scoffed at me, disbelief
in his face.

I looked at the details of the plan Etienne gave me and put faith in it. Kung totoo
ngang ito ang paraan para bumalik si Arrisea at umayos na ang lahat, I'll risk
everything for it.

I used the business plan when Solstice presented their idea in order to take away
the corporation from me. Totoo ngang kinontra nito ang kagandahan ng plano ni
Solstice. I saw how Solstice's face contorted into anger when I presented Etienne's
idea to the board. Sinagot kasi nito lahat ng butas ng gawa niya.

I know she even hired someone who is known in the business field to present the
idea so she can convince the board to agree with her. Hindi niya lang siguro
inaasahan na babaliktarin siya ni Etienne.

She stormed out of the meeting room with heavy steps containing her disappoinment.

This is actually for her own good too. Hindi naman niya talaga pangarap ang
industriya ng business. She was more concern with the welfare of the people when it
comes to their health. Alfos and Dayanara were the only ones who wanted her to take
this path. Baka sakaling mamulat na siya sa katotohanan na hindi naman anak ang
turing nila sa kanya. She's just a tool, like how everyone else is in their eyes.

Napapikit ako nang mariin nang maalala ang ginawa nila sa babaing 'yon. The insane
woman who killed my child. Alam ko noon pa man ay may pinuponduhan si Dayanara na
babae para akitin ako. Too bad she got the wrong woman and I'll never fall for
someone who have lost their mind for love. Nang imulat ko ang mga mata ko,
napagtantuan ko na maaaring tinulungan siya ni Dayanara dahil nakikita niya ang
sarili niya rito.

They were too madly in love with the idea of love that they deserted the goodness
in it just to have a taste of something they have always wanted.

The mansion turns awfully quiet but peaceful after Alfos brought his family with
him to live in another estate. Mukhang hindi na talaga sila nagkakasundo ni Grandpa
pagdating sa hatian ng mana.

"Why are you visiting a clinic, Adonis?" Grandpa asked, after puffing from his
tobacco pipe.

Ibinalik ko ang binabasa kong libro sa shelf ng opisina niya. He is getting old but
he never quit smoking. Kahit na ilang beses ko na siyang pinigilan ay tanging ngiti
lang ang ibinabalik niya saakin.

I'm actually consulting a therapist and I attend counselling for trauma. I just
want to move on from the childhood I have believe in. The psychiatrist told me that
my behavior was caused by the child abuse and neglect that I've went to. In each
session, unti-unting natanggap ko na ang totoo.

I was capable of being loved. Everyone of us is capable of loving and being loved.
May mga tao na ipapakita at ipaparamdam sa'yo na hindi para sa'yo ito — pero sino
sila para ipagkait sa'yo ito? Love is something that will fuel you to live and no
one can ever take that away from you — if you never let them.

Lumingon ako kay Grandpa at bumuntong hininga. Hindi na pinipilit ang emosyon na
hindi ko maramdaman.
"It is my way to redeem myself, Grandpa. Please just let me have this."

I have said things, done things, and even I know myself that I cannot repent for
those actions I've done and words I've said. Pero si Arrisea rin ang nagturo saakin
na likas sa tao ang magkamali. What matters most is we learn from those mistakes
and we do something to change it.

Grandpa smiled, forming crinkles on the side of his eyes.

I could see how proud he is of me. Ngumiti rin ako, for the first time it felt real
and I didn't have to pretend anymore.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "This family became a mess because of my own selfish
perspective."

"Do you want to press charges?" Grandpa asked. "I don't have a long time to live
anymore but let me repent for those years I have neglect you..."

I shook my head.

"I have already forgiven you a long time ago," I told him and gently held his hand.
"Grandpa, I really want to start over. I want to remove this grudge in my heart and
I want to see my light again."

It is for my own healing. I know I didn't have a good start and my childhood was
horrible yet that's not an excuse for my previous behavior. Gusto kong magbago.
Gusto kong maging mabuti. Not for myself but for Arrisea and for our future.

I miss her so much. She taught me things that made me want to believe that I was
worthy of something so good even if I turned out to be not how everyone painted me
to be.

Love is good she says, but the truth was she was the reason why I believed that
love is truly good. Despite the darkness I was born into, she was the only goodness
that ever happened in my life.

Love is good because love is something that is between us. Ito ang natatanging
mabuting nangyari sa buong buhay ko. Ang mahalin niya ako at ang pagmamahal ko sa
kanya.

"Even Alfos and Dayanara?" my Grandpa asked once again. "We can reopen your
sister's case. They could go to jail for what they did."

Umiling muli ako at napukaw ang atensyon ko ng isang litrato sa study desk niya.
"No need, I'm sure someone is already doing something."

Alfos and Dayanara left me alone when they noticed that everything is almost on my
own hands now. Kung balak pa nila itong agawin, kailangan pang lumaki ni Mareena
dahil mukhang punong-puno na si Solstice. She's finally giving up or she's finally
realizing we're not even supposed to fight each other.

The sudden surge of memories were cut off when we arrived at the church. I
remembered the ring I gave to Arrisea when we were younger. I already married her
but it still feels the same. It's nerve wrecking and it's making me feel like
she'll change her mind. Kabado akong bumuntong hininga.

Nauna kaming nakarating sa simbahan. My palms were sweating. Ang tagal kasi
dumating ng limousine. In the back of my head, I knew they should have used a
fucking jaguar instead. Habang tumatakbo ang oras ay lalo lamang bumibilis ang
tibok ng puso ko.

"Invited si Etienne?" nagulat ako kay Gio dahil bigla itong lumapit saakin.

Halos malukot sa inis ang mukha niya. This is the first time I saw him this pissed.
I mean, he's always laughing at his own silliness. Ngayon lang ulit siya nagmukhang
bulkan na sasabog.

"Yeah, I told you that we were suppose to pick him as my best man since..."

I couldn't continue what I was suppose to say. Gio's hurt expression tells me that
what he feels about Etienne is beyond what I know. Hindi ko na tinuloy dahil ayaw
ko na gatungan pa ito.

"Wala naman siyang ginagawa..." my attention turned towards Etienne who was talking
to a familiar woman.

Oh. Umawang ang labi ko at agad na tinapik si Gio.

"Siya 'yung babae mo 'di ba?" I pointed towards the woman who was with Etienne.

"Huwag kang turo nang turo baka manuno ka." Gio sneered, his arms were across his
chest.

"Siya 'yon 'di ba?"

"Hala, inulit pa nga."

I chuckled but continued nevertheless.

"Siya 'yung nasa wallet—"

"Alam mo, isigaw mo pa. Rinig na rinig ka na nila," iritadong sambit ni Gio habang
matalas ang tingin sa dako ni Etienne at nung babae na kausap niya.

The woman was also stealing glances at Gio. Pero agad naman niya itong binabaling
sa iba. Etienne was smirking for some reason, he's probably aware of how Gio is
staring daggers at him.

Etienne whispered in the woman's ears, making Gio more furious.

So that's the reason why he is pissed. Tawang-tawa ako dahil ilang taon na palang
naghihintay itong si Gio. Kawawa naman.

A pregnant woman went towards our direction. Nahihiya siyang ngumiti saakin. Who
would have guess that Zafirah would settle down this early? Akala ko noon ay puro
trabaho ang gagawin niya sa buhay niya.

She pulled Gio towards the side. "Gio! Malapit na raw sina Arrisea! Umayos ka na,
pumunta ka na sa lugar mo."

"Zafi, sasabihan naman kami kung totoo 'yan. Bakit ba kanina ka pa lapit nang lapit
saakin?" Gio arched an eyebrow.

The woman's face contorted into scorn. "Ewan ko sa'yo! Sinasabihan ka lang e!"

"Bakit ka ba nagagalit sa akin? Pinaglilihian mo ba ako?" Gio was taken aback.

Mukhang sasakmalin kasi siya ni Zafirah.

"Kadiri ka! Kadiri! Bawiin mo 'yon!" her face immediately softened and her eyes
started forming tears. "Kadiri ka, Gio!"

Nanglalaki ang mga mata ni Gio habang ako naman ay patuloy lang sa pagtawa.
Dinadaan sa saya ang kabang hindi matanggal sa sistema.

"Anong ginawa ko?" mahinahon na pinakalma ni Gio si Zafirah.

Oh, ganito ba talaga kapag buntis? Should I prepare in case Arrisea's like this
too?

Dumating naman si Sarathiel para sunduin ang asawa niya. He smiled at us

apologetically.
"Sorry, she's on her second trimester." Inakap ni Sarathiel ang kanyang asawa.
"Bakit ka ba umiiyak?"

"Sabi ni Gio, siya raw pinaglilihian ko." Zafirah even released a few hiccups.

Sarathiel's face immediately went worried. Agad niyang hinawakan ang tiyan ng asawa
niya.

"Lugi tayo roon, baby. Huwag naman kay Gio." He caressed his wife's stomach.

Umawang ang labi ni Gio habang patuloy siya sa pag-iling ng kanyang ulo. Disbelief
in his face is visible.

"Nakakabawas points naman kayo sa langit. Nasa simbahan tayo pero grabe niyo ako
pagtulungan."

We all laughed at Gio. Umayos lamang kami nang bigyan na kami ng signal na narito
na nga si Arrisea.

My bride and soon my wife.

It made me breathless. Wife. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin ako sanay. She is
already my wife but marrying her for the second time still feels the same.

Damn, Arrisea.

As the huge door of the church opened, I saw her walked the aisle. It was Grandpa
who escorted her towards to me.

Her friends are on the side, also in awe because of her beauty. Suzy, Franny and
Camisha was cheering for her. Umiiyak na nga sila habang dahan-dahan ang lakad ni
Arrisea patungo sa altar.

Behind her veil, I could see how beautiful she was. No amount of words can attest
to her beauty.

Do I really deserve her?

Kahit ganito lang ako?

Sometimes, I wonder what miracle did I do to deserve someone like Arrisea. Para
kasing isang himala na biyayaan ako ng isang tulad niya.
She was wearing her luxurious white elegant gown. Her hair was in a bun and she's
even wearing her usual make up. Ang mga alahas naman niya ay hindi rin malalaki ang
bato. She looks heavenly even if she opted for a more simple look.

"You look so beautiful," I whispered to her when she reached my side.

"Dior lang naman ang damit ko, di mo afford." She winked at me.

I chuckled at her playfully. Branded or not, I prefer you without the clothes
though. I slightly shook my head. Nasa simbahan kami pero pinupuno niya ng kung
anu-ano ang utak ko. Pinilig ko ang ulo nang kuhanin ng pari ang atensyon naming
dalawa.

As we say our vows to each other, I could see her shaking. Nanginginig siya habang
unti-unting binibigkas ang mga pangako niya saakin. She looked at me and her tears
were forming like crystals.

I never prepared my vows, because from the start I have always know what I wanted
to tell her.

Thank you, Arrisea.

I'm here because of you. You are the reason why despite of how cruel the world
treats me, I can still breath because you are existing in the same proximity of
universe that I'm in.

You are stars to my night, and I shall be the darkness so that you can show your
light.

The ceremony was just brief, this is the second time we will say our I dos.

"You may kiss the bride," the priest says.

Hindi namamalayan ang oras kapag si Arrisea ang kasama ko. I'm glad that after all
the years we were confuse about how to make us work — in the end, all we needed was
time and trust to mend our wounded hearts.

I kissed her passionately, hoping this will linger into her mind just like how it
would haunt me for the rest of my life. Her touch, her lips and everything about
her haunts me in a way that I couldn't forget how it made me feel.

"I love you everyday, Adren..." she said, breathless after parting from my lips.

I smiled.
"I love you, in the days you need me, in the days that you consider mundane, the
good days, the bad days....every day, Arrisea." I sincerely uttered every word
under my breath.

The five thousand was worth it because right now, my investment in Arrisea is
skyrocketing. She already owns my life in her hands.

I may be considered as one of the richest people in this world but I wasn't able to
escape the cost of tasting love. It might cost you pain before tasting how sweet it
is but then if it's with Arrisea, I wouldn't mind the pain as long as in the end
we'll be able to taste the life we have always dream of.

My wife giggled and leaned towards me to whisper. "Dalian na natin, gusto ko na rin
ng part two ng honeymoon."

It made me smile and I can't help but kiss her more.

I finally found the purpose why I live in this cruel world. No matter how cruel the
world can be, Arrisea made me want to stay in it because she's here. Her mere
existence is already enough for me to live, to try again and to believe in the
goodness of love.

"I love you, every day." her eyes brimmed with tears.

I smiled.

A life with her will always be worth the cost of taste.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪Arrisea Cabrera Reverio❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

All my love, Li [Cost of Taste | ✓]

Dear you,

Hello!

You have just read the revamped version of Cost of Taste. Unlike HYA, I changed a
lot of scenes and dialogues in this story. The first version was all over the place
so I decided to change it because I knew the story could have been better and there
wasn't any justice done for the characters so I had to change it.

I had a hard time writing COT because Arrisea and Adren were difficult characters
to write. They were far fetched from most archetypes and their plot is probably the
messiest/heaviest among seniors. But I had to create them, I have always wanted to
create two seemingly flawed characters but let people see that their flaws are only
part of them and shouldn't be the only thing that categorized them as a character.
Both of them weren't your ideal kind of good but it doesn't make them bad people
either. They are just flawed. And I hope you can see them past their flaws.

Rest assured that the changes in this story won't affect the other installments of
seniors. Ngayon pa lamang, I'll apologize for the inconsistency of COT but it had
to be done. I also felt that the story went to another direction, kaya inayos ko
ito. Although revamped (the plot), there will still be typographical and
grammatical errors in this story because I still consider this as the unedited
version. I'll probably look/revise it again once there's an available time.

Hoping to see you on Iscalade and Philomena in Pursuing Our Freedom. The third
installment in this series.

There is no easy strand. No easy career for anyone. There's no such thing as an
easy path to success. Let's stop strand shaming. Hindi natin alam baka mas maging
successful pa ang mga taong minamaliit natin.

Let us not discriminate anyone just because they followed a different path. Avoid
judging anyone, wala tayo sa patimpalak para maging hurado. :)

If you have messages for COT, I'll always appreciate them! Thank you very much. ♡

Please always remind yourself that you are worthy of the goodness in love despite
of how cruel and dark this world can be. Do not let their darkness consume your
light rather be the light to illuminate their darkness.

My works are not perfect, that's why I'm always grateful for those who give time to
read it. I am always trying my best to improve and I'm always on the process of
improving my stories.

Thank you, once again, for being here.

See you at seniors #3!

11/05/2020

All my love,
Li