OurAr

rangedMar
ri
age

Mynamei
sLolaHadi
dIam t
went
ythr
eey
ear
s,i
l
iv
ewit
hLwandl
emyhusband

Thingschangedathomewhenmyf atherdi
edI
wassocl osewi thhim nooneunder stoodme
l
ikehedi d.Myf atherwascolouredandmy
mom i sblack.Mom r e-mar
ri
edaf termyf at
her
died,wehadt olivewi t
hastepfatherwhodi dn'
t
l
ikeus

Aft
erIgraduatedIwasf orcedi
ntoamar r
iage
whereIwascr yi
ngmysel ftosleepIhadt o
marrysomeoneIdon' tknownddon' tevenlove,i
di
dn'tevenknowi fthispersonisaser i
alkil
ler
orwhat.Ihadtost artnewl i
fewhereIdidn't
know
[
06/
28,
19:
57]Ron:
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

I
nser
t1
-
--
--
--
--
--
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--

ItwasasunnydayIwaswal kingfrom school

withmybestpal AmandaJacobs.Imeanshe
wasl ikemyt win,wedi deverythi
ngt ogetheri
meanev ery
thing.Soonourwayhomet he
weat herchangedt obewi ndyIwasnotwear i
ng
myspecst hatday, soaswekeptonwal kingi
couldn'tseewell becauseitwasdust y.
Amandadeci dedt ogot oherboy f
riendspl ace
sheinsistedthatIcomewi thherbutIr efused,
asIkeptonwal kingacarpul l
edi nfrontofme
blockingmywayIst oodtherealitt
lepissedt he
driv
ergotoutofcarandwal kedtomeIwas
scaredt hi
sguyl ookedabi toldandhewas
wear
ingal
lbl
ack

Dr
iver
:heypl
easegeti
n
Me:
I'
m okt
hanky
ou
Dr
iver
:Iwon'
tbi
teIpr
omi
se
Me:
Isai
dI'
mfi
ne!
!"
Iexcl
aimed"
Dr
iver:
whoa!
!Don'
tneedt
obi
teme.
.ther
ain
st
arted
Me:asyouseeit'
srai
ningsopl
easecany
ou
pul
lyourcarasi
desoIcouldgo
Dri
ver:
Iwon'
tgeti
nyoudon'
twantmet
odr
ag
youin
Me:
sot
haty
oucoul
dki
l
lme
Dr
iver
:geti
t"hel
ookedscar
y,"Igoti
nsi
de
Dr
iver
:I'
m Lwandl
ebyt
heway
Me:
I'
m Lol
a
Lwandl
e:Lol
a??
Me:
yes
Lwandle:
okLolasotel
lmewhyareyouwal
king
alonedoyouknowit
'sdanger
ousf
oragi
rll
i
ke
you??
Me:
li
keme?
?..If
eltabi
tof
fended
Lwandl
e:Imeanabeaut
if
ulgi
rll
i
key
ou
Me:
Idon'
tmi
ndwal
ki
ng.
.myphoner
angi
twas
mom
Mom:
heysweet
iear
eyouokay
??
Me:
I'
m okmom
Mom:I'
m nothomebabyanddadi
sal
sonot
home
Me:
okdi
dyoul
eftt
hekeybehi
nd?
?
Mom:
noIt
houghty
ouhady
our
s
Me:
nomom whatam Isupposet
odoknow?
?..
t
ear
sst
art
edtot
hreat
eni n
Mom:
I'
m sor
rysweet
ie
Me:i
t '
sokay.
..Ihungupbeforeshecoul
dsay
anythi
nggosh!!!Whatam Igoingt
odoits
rai
ningforChristsake
Lwandl
e:ar
eyouokay
??
Me:
yesI
'
mfi
ne
Lwandl
e:t
henwhyar
eyoucr
ying?
?
Me:
Isai
dI'
mfi
ne!
!!
!!
Lwandl
e:sor
ry
Me:
pleasest
opt
hecar
Lwandl
e:i
t'
srai
ning
Me:IknowISAIDSTOPTHECAR! !
!hest opped
Iqui
ckl
yranoutof
fitIwentstr
aighthome
whenIgothomethegatewaslocked...
.after
sometimedad'
scarpull
edinsi
deIgoti nsi
de

Me:
dadi
Ihadt
owai
tforhour
s
Dad:
I'
m sor
rymybaby
Me:
it'
sokwher
eisJadenbyt
heway
??
Hi
m:t
oaf
ri
end'
spl
ace
Me:
okIwi
l
lbei
nmyr
oom
Hi
m:oksweet
iej
ustknowIwi
l
lal
way
slov
eyou
Me:
IknowdadandIl
ovey
out
oo
Hi
m:Imeani
tLol
a
Me:
dady
ousoundasi
fyouar
edy
ing
Hi
m:I
'
m notmyl
ove.
..hesmi
l
ed
Me:
ok.
..Iwentt
omyr
oom andsl
ept

IwokeuplaterIwentt
othekit
chennoonewas
ther
eIwenttocheckuponmyf atherIf
ound
himlay
ingfunnyontopofthebed
Me:Daddy
? ?.
..Ishookhi
m daddy
???..butsti
l
lI
st
art
edtogetscaredIcal
ledmom shesaidshe
i
sontheway..Iwaspacingupanddown. ..
mom fi
nal
lyar
r i
ved
Mom:
whathappened?
?
Me:Idon'
tknowIwentt
owakehi
m upbuthe
di
dn't
Mom: okokdon'
tcr
ywewi
l
ltakehi
mto
hospi
tal
Me:hur
rymommy..
..wewentt
ohospi
tal
aft
er
someminut
eswai
ti
ngint
hewaiti
ngar
eaa
doct
orwal
kedt
ous

Doc:
Hadi
d??
Mom:
yesdoci
sheokay?
?
Doc:
I'
m af
rai
dnothedi
dn'
tmakei
t
Me:
whatdoy
oumean?
?
Doc:
Imeanhei
sdead
Me,:
no!
!NONONONO! !!
!!
!!.
..Icr
iednoitcan'
t
notmydadno     Iwoke
uphomeIrant
odad'
sroom Ithoughti
twasa
baddr
eam whenIgott
heremom'seyeswer
e
bl
oodredandi
thit
smet hathei
sreal
l
ygone

Mom:
I'
m sor
rysweet
ie
Me:
whyhi
m?
Mom:
ohhsweet
ie
Me:whymom    ?
?It
'sst
il
l
soonIneedhi
m
Mom:Iknowsweetie.
.thenJadengoti
ncr
ying
t
oo..
.wellJadeni
smybi gbrother
Me:
whyJaden?
?
Jaden:
im sor
rysi
s..
.hegav
emeat
ighthug
Me:
Ilov
ehi
m mor
ethanany
thi
ng
J:
hel
ovesy
out
ooLol
a
Mom:I
'
m sor
rymychi
l
dren .
.hehugged
mom
Nextmor ni
ngIwokeupt hewholefamil
ywas
here..Iwokedidmydai l
yhygi
eneIwentfora
walkIcouldn'
tstandt hesor
ryspeechesfr
om
thefamily
.Iwentt otheparkwhereIusedtogo
withdaddy,Ihadf l
ashbacksofhowi grewup
withdadbymysi de
Iremember edwhendadusedt ol
aughatme
whenIf all
from r
unni ng,howheusedt osmil
eat
meEv eryti
meIsmi le, howhewaspr oudofme
whenIpassedmymat ri
cwi thfl
yi
ng
colours . .t
earswer estr eamingdownmy
chicksIcouldn'
tholdt hem itwast oomuchto
takein..IwasdisturbedbyLwandl e

Hi
m:heyar
eyouokay
??
Me:
yes
Hi
m:whyar
eyoucr
ying?
?
Me:
not
hingI
'
mjustt
hinki
ngt
hat
'
sal
l
Hi
m:whoar
eyout
ryi
ngt
oconv
ince?
?
Me:
it'
smydad
Hi
m:i
sheokay
?
Me:
nohei
snothedi
edl
astni
ght
Hi
m:I
'
m sosor
ry.
.hehuggedme
Me:
Ithi
nkIshoul
dgohomenow
Hi
m:okbutknowI
'
m her
efory
ou
Me:
thanky
ou.
.Iwal
kedhome

Lwandl
e'
spov

Mynamei
sLwandl
eLot
chI
'
m 32y
ear
sol
d
WhenIf irstsawLol aIfall
edi nloveIknewshe
wasj ustaki dbutsomet hingattract
edme. .she
wascomi ngf r
om school shewasst i
l
l i
nv ar
sity
thatti
me. .Iki
ndastalkedheronsoci al
networksbutIcoul dn'tfi
ndwher eshelives.
.so
thi
sdayIsawherwal kingal oneIdecidedt o
offeralif
tbutsher efusedt hatmademewant
hermor eIbeggedtil
lsheagr
eedItr
iedt omake
asmal lt
alkbutshewasnotinter
est
ed. .f
rom
thatdayIknewt hi
sismygirlnomatterwhatit
takesI'
m goingtogether
Isawheragaincr
yingthatbrokemyheartshe
seemedlosti
nherthoughtsshelookedbroken
whenIaskedherwhatiswr ongshetol
dmeher
fat
herdi
eddidn'
tknowwhatt odoIj
usthugged
her
Lat
ert
hatdayIwaswi
thmyboyLuy
olo
Luy
olo:
manwhat
sup?
?
Me:
I'
m good
Luyol
o:manI'
my ourbestf
ri
endr
emembersoI
knowyoudon'
tli
etome
Me:
remembert
hegi
rlIt
oldy
ouabout
Luy
olo:
youmeant
heki
d
Me:
yesIsawheragai
n
Luy
olo:
manshei
sjustaki
dI'
m sur
eshehas
someonei
nherl
i
fe
Me:
sowhat
??
Luy
olo:
nomanpl
ease
Me:
eishIj
ustwantt
oknowhert
hat
'
sal
l
Luy
olo:
it'
sbet
teri
fyoudon'
tknowher
Me:
Ican'
tman
Luyol
o:Igi
veupImeany
ou'
re30andI
'
m sur
e
she18orsomethi
ng
Me:
IknowLuy
olo
Luyol
o:manjustf
orgetabouthery
ouhav
ea
gi
rl
fri
endremember
Me,:Iknowmaybeyouareri
ghtIshouldfor
get
her..
.Luyol
olef
tIt
houghtIcoul
dforgetherbut
Icouldn'
tno
:
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

i
nser
t2
-
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--

i
twasmyf ather'sburi
altot ell
y outhetruthit
wast oot ouchi ngandhur tfulwehadt osayour
l
astwor dsi twasmyt urntosayandIwentl ike"
heav enlyf athert hankyouf orgi vi
ngust his
l
ov ingsoul anamazi ngfatherwhoknewhowt o
playhi srol e,heusedt oputsmi lesonourf aces
,hewasourf r
iendandbr other.wear esadhe
hadt ol eav esoear l
y  wewi l
lalways
mi ssy ouDaddyandy ouwi llalwaysbel oved
andcher i
shedmayy ourlovelysoul restin
peace

ay
earl
ater

Iwascomingfr
om schooli
twasmylasty
ear
ti
l
lIgr
aduateIwassotir
edIwenthometo
sl
eeplat
eronIwokeupandmom wasi nthe
ki
tchencooki
ngsupperIdr
aggedmysel
ftoher

me:
eveni
ngmom
her
:heysweet
ie
me:
wher
eisev
ery
one
her
:yourdadi
soutwi
thf
ri
ends
me:
hei
snotmydad!
!
her
:sweet
ie?
?
me:heisnotmom justbecausey
oumar
ri
ed
hi
mt hatdoesn'
tmakehim myfat
her
her
:whatdi
dhedot
haty
oudon'
tl
ikehi
m
me:
itdoesn'
tmat
ter
her
:oksi
tIwantt
otal
ktoy
ou
me:
what
supmom?
?
her
:si
t.
..Isatdown
me:
youar
escar
ingmemom
her
:youknowIl
ovey
our
ight
me:
that
'swhatdadsai
dbef
orehedi
ed
her
:I'
m notdy
ingsweet
ie
me:
okwhati
sit
her
:okli
stensweeti
easyourpar
ent
swantwe
wantswhatisgoodfory
ou
me:
mom t
alkal
ready
!!.
.Iexcl
aimed
her
:you'
regoi
ngt
ogetmar
ri
ed
me:
what
??!
!
her
:I'
m sor
rysweet
ie
me:sor
ry??r
eal
ly
??Idon'
tbel
i
evey
oumom I
t
houghtyoul
ovedme
her
:Idosweet
ie
me:
Ihat
eyou.
.shegasped
her
:I'
m doi
ngi
tfory
ourf
utur
e
me:
noy
ouar
edoi
ngi
tbecausey
ou'
resel
fi
sh
her
:ohsweet
ie
me:don'
tsweeti
ememom Iwi
shy
ouwer
ethe
onewhodieddadlov
edme
her
:Lol
a!!
!I'
m st
il
lyourmot
her
me:t
henactl
i
kemymom .
.Ist
ompedoutIwas
sof
uri
ous
howcoul dmymom dothattomeImeanI
thoughtshel
ovedmeIthoughtshewould
protectmebutnoshesel
li
ngmeof f.
.Iwish
Daddywasher ewi
thmeIknowhel ovedmeso
much

l
aterJadenwal
kedi
nmyr
oom

hi
m:myl
ovel
ysi
ster
me:
Jaden
hi
m:I
'
m sor
ryLol
a
me:
don'
tJadenpl
ease
hi
m:l
et'
srunaway
me:
howisthatgoi
ngt
owor
kJadenshei
sour
mot
heraf
teral
l
hi
m:Iguessy
ouwi
l
lhav
etobest
rongand
marr
ythi
sguy
me:
doy
ouknowhi
m?
hi
m:Iwi
shIdi
d
me:
hugme.
.wehugged

Lwandl
e'
spov

Iwascomingf
rom wor
kmyf
ami
l
ywasgat
her
d
i
nlounge

dad:
sitson
me:
okwhati
sitdad?
uncl
e:mysony
ouar
eget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed
me:
wit
hwho?
?
uncl
e:y
ouwi
l
lseeher
me:youmeanI'
m bei
ngf
orcedt
omar
ry
someoneIdon'
tknow
dad:
youwi
l
lknowherast
imegoeson
me:
Ihav
eagi
rl
fr
ienddad!
!!
dad:
Idon'
tcar
emyboy
me:
younev
erl
ovedme
mom:
wear
edoi
ngi
tfory
ou
me:
forme?
?Il
oveCi
ndy
mom:
you'
l
llov
ehert
oo
me:
Ineedsomeai
r..Iwentf
orawal
k
IcouldnotmarrysomeoneIdon' tknowIwasIn
ahappyr el
ati
onshipIlovedCindymorethan
anythi
ngshelovedmet oowehadnosecr etsI
didn'
tknowhowI '
m goingtobreakthenewsto
herIcouldn'
thurtherthatmuch
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

I
nser
t3
-
--
--
--
--
--
-

Nextdayiwokeupwithalightheadacheand
puf
fyredeyes,
iwentstr
aighttothekit
chen
mom nd"dad"wer
etherewi t
hJaden

Me:
mor
ning
J:
goodmor
ning
Me:
whati
sgoodaboutt
hismor
ning?
J:
okoksor
ry
Dad:
Lol
ayouar
emov
ingwi
thy
ourhusband
t
oday
Me:
real
l
y??Iwasnoti
nthemoodt
ofi
ghtt
hem
Mom:
im sor
rysweet
ie
Me:
stopsay
ingt
hatok?
?
Mom:
oki
m goi
ngt
ohel
pyoupack
Me:
jadenwi
l
lsono
Mom:
imt
ryi
ng
Me:
idi
dntasky
out
oo
J:oklet
sgo..wewenttomyroom westar
ted
topackmythings.
.iwasr
eal
l
ysadtoleave
homei wasnotready

Laterthatdaymyinl
awscametofet
chmeupi
wasr eall
yhear
tbr
okeninev
ert
houghtt
his
couldhappentome

Mot
heri
nlaw:
itsokaybabyy
ouwi
l
llov
ehi
m..
.
r
eal
l
y???
Me:
okma
Ma:i
m her
eforyoul
ovewam okay
??Inodded.
..
wegottot
hehousei
twasadoublest
oreyiwas
soscared.
.wegoti
nsi
dewewerewel
comeby
anicewomanwhoseem abi
tol
dmaybeshei
s
44

Ma:
Lol
athi
sisSar
ah
Me:
itsni
cet
oseey
ouma
Sar
a:i
lov
eyoual
readymnt
anam 
Ma:
Sar
ahshowhert
hei
rroom
Me:
our
??
Ma:
yesbaby
Me:it
hinki
tst
oosoonf
ort
hati
m notr
eadyma
..
isai
dtear
y
Ma:okokdontcr ymydaughter.
..Sar
ashowed
mymyr oom itwasperf
ectil
ovediteven
t
houghi hat
edthesit
uati
oniwasi n

Latert
hatdayi
wentdownst
air
stodri
nkwateri
foundayoungl
ooki
ngLadysi
tti
ngonkit
chen
count
ermaSar
awascooki
ngsupper
Sar
a:ohheybaby
Me:
hel
l
oma
Sar
a:supperwi
l
lber
eadyi
nmi
nut
es
Me:
i
m nothungr
y
Sar
a:nonsense
Lady
:whoar
eyou?
?
Me:
sor
ry?
?
Lady
:whatar
eyoudoi
ngi
nmyboy
fri
endspl
ace
Sar
a:shei
sthewi
fe
Lady
:fuckno!
!Iwanty
ouout
Me:andiwoul
dlov
etobeout.
.isai
drol
l
li
ngmy
sexyeyes
Lady
:Lwandl
e!!
!!..shescr
eamed.
.al
ooki
ng
mancamer unning
Lady
: whydi
dnty
out
ell
mey
ourwi
fei
s
coming??
Lwandl
e:i
hadnoi
deaCi
ndyi
m sor
ry
Ci
ndy
:doy
oul
oveme?
,
Lwandl
e:of
causei
do
Ci
ndy
:fi
ghtf
orust
hen
Lwandl
e:how?
?..
.ichuckl
edi
ndi
sbel
i
ef
Ci
ndy
:whati
sfunny
??
Me:
thaty
ourmancantf
ightf
orwhathel
oves
Lwandl
e:Lol
a??Heaskedconf
used
Me:
sor
ry?
?
Lwandl
e:whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e??
Me:
doweknoweachot
her
??
Lwandle:
wow. .hesaidt
hatali
ttl
ehurt.
.he
thenl
eft.
..l
ateriwenttobedisatontopofi
t
thi
nki
ngofthismanhel ookedabitol
dforme..
howcouldmom sel lmetoanolderman??

Lwandl
e'
spov
Lola???Wasi ttrueorwasi dr
eamingheri nmy
house. .
.wasshet hegi
rli
m marri
edtonoi t
cantbutwhywasshei nmyhouse?. .all
the
feeli
ngsi hadforhercamebackst r
ongeri
neverthoughti wouldeverseeheragain..ilast
sawheray earagowhenshet ol
dmeherf ather
died
Whathur
tsmor
eshedoesntknowme

Nextdayi
didntgotowor
kiwant
edt omake
sur
eitwasherSarawasmaki
ngbreakf
ast
Me:
sar
a?,
Sar
a:si
r??
Me:
l
wandl
epl
ease
Sar
a:ok
Me:
wher
eismywi
fe
Sar
a:y
ourwi
fe?
?Shel
aughed
Me:
whyar
eyoul
aughi
ng?
Sar
a:i
thoughty
oudi
dntwantawi
fe
Me:
okt
henwher
eisshe?
Her
:shei
sbeaut
if
ulr
ight
?
Me: youar
enotansweri
ngmeSara...t
henLola
walkeddownstai
rsl
ooki
ngbeautf
ulasalway
s
shewaswear i
nghergownl
ookingnatur
al

Her
:mor
ning
Us:
mor
ing
Sara:
howdidyousl
eep?
?..
Lol
asmi
l
ed
gosh!
!!
whatwasshedoi
ngtome
Her
:goodMam Sar
a
Sar
a:i
m gl
adkesi
si
Her
:whatar
eyoumaki
ng?
?
Sar
a:beaconi
hopey
oul
i
kei
t
Her
:il
ovei
t..shesmi
l
edagai
nshowi
ngofher
di
mpl
es
Sara:
kanenf unekandthethengl
i
shkal
oksi
ne
bhulu(i
hav etotalkengli
shwehavea
col
oured).
..ichuckled
Lol
a:hawumam Sar authet
hangam
ndkhona(y ouar
etal
kingaboutmeasifim not
here)..il
aughednam it
houghtshecoul
dnd
understandXhosa
Sar
a:ohmychi
l
dim sor
ry
Lol
a:i
tsokayMaany
wayi
m goi
ngoutt
odayso
youwi
llal
one
Sar
a:nopr
obl
em nana

Aft
rbr eakf
astLolawentt oherr oom aft
r
somet i
meshecamedownl ookinghotshewas
weari
ngbl ackleatherumbr el
l
aski r
tthatwas
shor
tshowi nghert anlegsndbl acktanktop
wit
hr edstell
i
toesandmat chingbagshel ooked
hoticouldntlethergoingoutl i
kethat
Me:
wher
ear
eyougoi
ngl
ooki
ngl
i
ket
hat
??
Her
:out
Me:
gochange
Her
:sor
ry?
Me:youaremar
ri
ednowy
oucantj
ustdr
ess
l
iket
hatanymor
e
Her:
im sur
ey oudontwantthi
smirri
ageas
muchiasi dosopleasel
etmewearwhat ev
er
shi
tiwanttowear..shecl
ickedhertongueand
l
eft
Iwantedt
oscream whati
fshei
sgoingt
oher
boyf
ri
endim gonnaki
ll
bothoft
hem
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

I
nser
t4
Lol
a

It
sbeenweekssinceIgotmarri
edIwas
unhappytheonl
ythinghadmegoingismy
brot
herandmybestf ri
endAmanda.Shewas
ther
eformesheev enletmesl
eepinherpl
ace
sometimes.
Sot
hisdayIwaswithAmandaathomeImean
i
nLwandle'
shouse,
wewerebusydri
nki
ngwine

Amanda:sot
ellmewhenar
eyougoi
ngt
ost
art
l
ooki
ngforwork?
Me:
I'
vebeenl
ooki
ngbutnol
uck
Amanda:
I'
m sur
eyou'
l
lgetsomet
hing
Me:
sohowi
syourl
ovel
i
fe?
Amanda:
singl
esi
ngl
e
Me:
yousi
ngl
e??
Amanda:
I'
minnost
ri
ngsat
tachedbusi
ness
Me:
Amanda!
!!
Amanda:
I'
vebeenpl
ayedLol
a
Me;
notev
ery
onei
sgoi
ngt
ohur
tyou
Amanda:
I'
m notr
eady
Me:
ify
ousaysobut
-
Amanda:
nobut
sLol
a.Sot
ell
meabouty
our
mar
ri
age
Me:
ther
e'snot
hingt
otel
lAmanda
Amanda:
it'
sgoi
ngt
obef
inesweet
ie
Me:Idoubtt
hatImeanLwandl
eisol
dandI
don'
tseehimthatway
Amanda:
youwi
l
llear
ntoseehi
mthatway
Me:ifIwoul
dwor ki
m movingoutIcan'
t
pr
etendI'
m happywhil
eI'
m not
Amanda:
youcanst
aywi
thme
Me: Iwoul
dlov
ethatbutIwantt
ohav
emyown
space
Amanda:
Igeti
t.
..Lwandl
egoti
nlooki
ng
yummy
Lwandl
e:l
adi
es
Amanda:heyuhm Lol
asweet
ieIhav
etogo.
.
shesai
dstandi
ngup
Me:l
etmewalky
ouout..
.Iwal
kedherout.
..I
r
etur
nedtot
hehouseLwandl
ewassitt
ingi
nthe
l
ounge

Hi
m:Lol
aweneedt
otal
k
Me;
I'
mli
steni
ng
Hi
m:wehav
etowor
koutourmar
ri
age
Me:
ohh?
?
Hi
m: wehav enochoi
ceourpar
ent
sar
egoi
ng
t
ostartsuspect
Me:
Idon'
tseey
ouasmyhusbandnj
e
Hi
m:whatdoy
ouseemeas?
?
Me:
fri
endorsomet
hing
Hi
m:wow
Me:
Iwantt
omov
eout
Hi
m:t
hati
snotgoi
ngt
ohappen
Me:why
??Youhaveyourgi
rl
fr
ienddon'
tyou
wantmetogi
veyouspace?
?
Him:no!!Il
ovey
ouLol
nother.
..
.Iwas
shocked
Me:
ohh
Hi
m:IdoLol
alet
'swor
kthi
ngsoutpl
ease
Me:
Ineedsomeai
r..
.Iwentout

I
t'
sshor
tIknowwi
l
lfi
nishi
tof
flat
er

OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

I
nser
4-cont
inuat
ion
-
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
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--

Lol
a

I
tsbeenaweeksi nceLwandlet
oldme"heis
i
nlovewi t
hme"iwasavoidi
nghiminever
yway
,iwouldgooutearl
yinthemorni
ngorcome
backlate.
Iknewi al
sofal
li
ngf ohim, didi saythat?NO!!!
!
Lolawhatiswrongwi thyou?" Iletoutasigh"
thi
scantbehappeni ng.Imeant hisguyisol
d
andhehasagi rl
fr
iendf orchrist'
ssake!!Icant
hurtCi
ndyi meansheseemsl ikeshel i
kes
Lwandlesomuchi couldnttaket hatawayf r
om
her.
Iwaswi
thAmandai
nherpl
ace
Amanda:
"Lol
ayoucantav
oidy
ourmanf
orev
er"
Me:
"hei
snotmymanManda"
!!Iexcl
aimed
Amanda:"
Lol
aiknowwheny
ouar
efal
l
ingf
or
someone"
Me:
"andi
am"i
sai
dthatcov
eri
ngmyey
es
Her
:"
youdonthav
etobeambar
rased"she
l
aughed
Me:
"buty
ouar
elaughi
ng"
Her
:"i
m sor
rybuti
canthel
pit
"shel
aughed
har
der
Me:
"Amanda!
!
Her
:"i
m sorr
ybuti
thi
nky
oushoul
dgi
vet
heguy
achance"
Me:
"iguess"i
ranmyhandsi
nmyhai
r
f
ust
rated
Her
:"
youcantr
unmyf
ri
end"
..i
sighed
Me:
"okl
etmegohomet
hen"
isai
dwal
ki
ngout
WhenigothomeLwandl
erant
omel
ooki
ngal
l
e
(
all
)worr
ied
Hi
m:"
arey
ouokay
??"Hi
shandswer
erunni
ng
ov
ermybody
Me:
"i
mfi
ne"
Him;
"iwassi
ckwor
ri
edabouty
ou.
.wher
ehav
e
youbeen?
?
Me:
"uhm her
e"i
li
ed
Hi
m:"
iknowy
ouar
ely
ingbuti
wil
ll
eti
ssl
i
de"
Me:
"wher
eisSar
a"i
tri
edt
ochanget
het
opi
c
Him:"
isentherhomeshewentt
ovi
sither
chi
ldr
en"
Me:
"ohokhowi
sCi
ndy
?"
Him:"
shebr
okeupwi
thme"i
lookedathi
m
shocked
Me:
"i
m sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
shedi
dmeaf
avor"
Me:
"it
houghty
oul
ovedher
"
Hi
m:"
idi
dbutnomor
ethani
lov
eyou"
Me:
"youbar
elyev
enknowme"
Him:
"Lol
ail
ovedy
ouf
rom t
hev
eryf
ir
stdayi
sawyou"
Me:
"idontgeti
t"
Hi
m: "r
ememberatt
hepar
kthedayaf
tery
out
f
atherdied"
Me:
"whatabouti
t"
Hi
m:"youtol
dmey ourf
atherwasnomorei
f
oundy oucr
yingandtharbrokemyhear
t"i
l
ookefathi
m andi r
emember ed
Me:
"ohmygodi
m soashamed"i
sai
dcov
eri
ng
myface
Hi
m:"
youshoul
dbe"
hesmi
l
ed
Me:"
youwer et
heguywhogav emel ef
tonmy
wayhome" sayi
ngit
sdangerousofagirl
li
ke
youwalki
ngalone"isai
dtr
yingtoremember
whathesaid
Hi
m:"
your
emember
"
Me:
"ohmygodandnowi
m mar
ri
edt
oyou"
Hi
m:"
thati
sagoodt
hingr
ight
"
Me"
good?
"
Hi
m:"
imar
ryt
hegi
rli
'
vebeeni
nlov
ewi
th
Me:
"smal
lwor
ld"
Hi
m:"
im gl
adt
hough"webot
hlaughed
M:
"ist
il
ldontbel
i
evei
t"
Him:
"meeither.
..
.wetalkedforhour
sgettingto
knoweachother,
whatwel ikeanddontli
ke.It
wasfunthoughbecauseLwandlewasf unny

Lwandl
e'
spov

ThingsbetweenmeandLol awerepromisi
ngi
wasi nl
ovewithherandiwasgoingtoshowher
..
iwaswi ththeguysdownstai
rspl
anningour
nextheist
.
I
m sur
eyal
lconf
usedwhati
mt al
ki
ngabout
wel
lmeandmyboy swer
einthi
sbusi
nessf
ora
l
ongtimejeahwewer egangsterswedidnthave
anameasagr oupbuttheycall
edme" Tri
cky"
shady
??Iknowbuttheycalledmet hatbecause
iwastri
cky.
Okbackt othest
oryiwaswi t
hmyhomeboys
Luyol
o(mybesf r
iend)
,Ander
son(
butwecal
lhi
m
Anda),
SibaandChris
Chr
is:
sowegoi
ngr
obt
hebank
Anda:
thati
sthepl
an
Me:
i
tsr
iskyt
oor
isky
Si
ba:
"whendi
dyoubecomesof
t"
Me:
"i
mjustsay
ing
Chr
is:
"hei
sri
ghtt
hough"
Anda:
"idontcar
ewearedoingit"wechat
ted
forawhil
emakingnoi
se,
teasi
ngeachother
Me:
"okl
owery
ourv
oicesmywi
fei
ssl
eepi
ng"
Chr
is:
"not
hisi
snotgood"
Luh:
youar
eobsessedman"
Me;
"i
tscal
l
edl
ove
Anda:
shedoesntwanty
oh"
Me:
"weknowshedoes"
ismi
l
ed
Luh:
iknowt
hatsmi
l
e"
Chr
is:
"doest
hatmeany
ouguy
sar
egood"
Me:
"per
fectman"
Lub:
"i
m happyf
ory
ouman"
Chr
is:
whencanwemeether
"
Me:
"notsof
ast
"
Lol
awalkeddownst
air
slooki
ngsl
eepybutsexy
i
nhershortni
ghtdr
ess
Me:
youar
enotwear
ingLol
a
Her
:"
andiwouldbest
il
lsl
eepi
ngi
fyoudi
dnt
makeanynoi
se
Me:
"sor
ry"
Her
:"
it
sfi
ne"
Me:
"ohmeetmyf
ri
endsLuy
olo,
Anda,
Chr
isand
Si
ba
Her
:"ohheyi
m Lol
a"shesai
dsmi
l
ing
Chr
is:
ohmygod
Anda:
"i
m noty
ourf
ri
endany
mor
eman"
Lol
a:"i
wil
lbei
nKi
tchen"
shesai
dleav
ing
Me:
"andt
hat
?"
Anda:
"Damnshei
shot
"
Chri
d:"
nobeaut
iful"
ishookmyhead..
.we
chat
tedandweat esuppert
oget
herexceptLol
a
whodidntf
eelokay

Lat
eri
wentt
oLol
a'
sroom
Her
:heywhatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e"
Me:
icamet
ocheckupony
ou"
Her:t
hatissweetcomejoi
nme"
shepatt
eda
spacefomei goti
nwit
hherwecuddl
edunt
il
shefel
lasleep
[
06/
28,
20:
02]Ron:
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

I
nser
t5
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Lol
a

Thefoll
owingdayi wokeupi nmyhusbands
arms i smiledlooki
ngathim hel
ooked
cute.Itr
iedtogetoutofhisgri
pbuthe
squezzedme, heslowlyopenedhi
seyes
Hi
m:"
goodmor
ningmyl
ove"
Me:
"goodmor
ning"
Hi
m:"
isl
eptl
i
keababy
"hesmi
l
ed
Me:
"met
oo.
.uhm l
etmegetupandgetr
eady
"
Hi
m:"
getr
eadyf
orwhat
?"
Me:
"i
mlooki
ngf
oraj
ob"
Hi
m:"
why
?"
Me:"
ihav
etooi
cantst
ayher
eiwoul
ddi
eoutof
bor
edom"
Hi
m:"
Sar
aisher
enj
e"
Me:
"iwantt
obei
ndependant"
Him:"
okbuti
m her
ei meanimy
ourhusbandi
supposet
olookaf
teryou"
Me:
"iknow"iwal
kedt
obat
hroom i
didntwant
t
ofi
ghtwithhi
m..
Aft
eriwasdonewi
thmybusi
nessiwent
downst
air
sLwandl
ewaswit
hhisfr
iendsand
mam'Sar
a
Me:
"Mor
ning
Sar
a:"
mor
ningsanal
am"
Lwandle:
"youar
egoi
nglooki
ngli
kethat
?"Iwas
weari
ngahuggingdr
esswithsandal
s
Me:
"yeswhy
?"
Lwandl
e:"
imj
ustaski
ng"
Sar
a:"
youl
ookbeaut
if
ulsi
si"
Me:
"t
hanky
ouma"
Sar
a:"
anyl
uckony
ourj
obhunt
ing?
"
Me:
"notatal
lmama"
Her
:"
im sur
eyouwi
l
lfi
ndsomet
hing"
Lwandl
e:"
idontl
i
ket
hewayy
oudr
ess"
Me:
"so?
?"
Lwandl
e:"
imj
ustsay
ing"
Me:"
mamal etmego"iwentoutbeforeicould
gi
veLwandleapeaceofmindbecauseicouldnt
st
andhim sayi
ngwhat
everhewantsinfr
ontof
hi
sfri
ends

Latert
hatdayiwenthomet i
redAFatl
easti
foundajobinasomecompanycal lNut
riweli
wasgoingtobeaC. O.Ogoshiwasbeyond
happyifoundaperf
ectjobandpayi
ngwel l.
..i
gothomeLwandlewasdr i
nkingwi
thhisfri
ends
,iknowitsnotmyplacebutiwasir
ri
tat
ed
Me:
"Af
ter
non"
Anda:
"heyunj
ani
(howar
eyou)
"
Me:
"i
mfi
ney
ou?
"
Anda:
"i
m good"
Lwandl
e:"
anyl
uck?
"
Me:
"yesi
foundsomet
hing"i
smi
l
ed
Lwandl
e:"j
oinus"
Me:
"iwoul
dlov
etoobuti
m needt
osl
eep"
Anda:
"i
tsokaywegeti
t"
..
.iwentupst
air
s
Lwandl
efoll
owedme
Hi
m:"
whati
shappeni
ngbet
weeny
ouandAnda"
Me:
"whoi
sAnda"
Hi
m:"
Lol
adoi
lookl
i
keaj
oket
oyou?
"
Me:
"whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?"
Hi
m:"
Lol
aififoundouty
ouarehavi
nganaff
air
wi
thmyfr
iendyouaregoodasdead"ij
ust
l
ookedathi
m andl
aughed
Me:
"youj
eal
ous?
"
Hi
m:"
noi
m not
:"
Me:"i
fyousayso"iwenttot
akeashowerand
j
oinedLwandl
einhi
sbedroom
Me:
"cani
joi
nyou,
"
Hi
m:"
youdonthav
etoask"i
joi
nedhi
m
Me:
"youknowmyl
i
fei
sst
art
ingt
obeper
fect
"
Hi
m:"
minet
oo"
Me:
"i
m st
art
ingt
omor
row
Hi
m:"y
ouwantmet
obor
rowy
ouacar
"
Me:"
thatwouldbenice"
isai
dinexci
tementi
babykissedhi
m "t
hankyousomuchLwandle"
Hi
m:"
babewearemar
ri
edt
heyar
eyourcar
s
t
oo"i
justsmi
l
ed
WekissedOHMYGODWEKI SSED!
!!
..
.itwas
passi
onat
eandsl
owl
yit
sli
kewehavebeen
want
ingtoki
sseachot
her weshar
edour
f
ir
stkiss

OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

I
nser
t6
_
___
___
___
__
Lol
a

WeekspassedmeandLwandl ewereokayor
shouldisaywewer einlove .Inev ertal
ked
withmymom i couldntf or
giveherforwhatshe
did,shechosehermar ri
ageov erme,shesold
me.Iwant edtof orgiv
eherbuti coul
dnt.My
l
ifewasokayev ent houghi couldntdoany t
hing
stupidweallknowwor kingforamedi a
companyi snochi l
d'splaymyl if
ewasi n
spotli
ghtsomethingi didntwantinmyl i
fe.My
l
ifewasnotper fectididntneedt heatt
ensioni
wasfaci
ng,j
our
nalist
swereallov
ermycase
onhowam imarri
edorwhat??Oram i t
he
Chai
rper
son'
smistr
ess??Ij
ustcouldntt
akei
t.
Lwandleseemedt obel
i
evetherumoursimean
idontunderst
andhowcouldmyownman
bel
ieveim someone'
smist
ress??butSar
awasa
mothertomesheshowedmeandsuppor tshe
wasthebestpersontobewith.
THEMISTRESSOFTHECHAIRPERSONOF
NUTRI
WELLMEDI ACOMPANYISFINALLY
RECOGNISEDTHEYWERESPOTTEDONA
ROMANTICBREAKFASTSHEGOESBYTHE
NAMEOF" AMANDAJACOBS"-
HOME
WRECKER.
Iwasshockedbyt
henewsi j
ustsawimean
Amandaismybestfr
iendhowcanshenott
ell
meaboutthisi
coul
dntunder
stand.
Sar
awal
keddownst
air
slooki
ngbeaut
if
ul
Sar
a:"
youl
ookl
i
key
ou'
veseenaghosr
"
Me:
"ohi
tsnot
hingamama"
Her
:"i
fyousayso"
Me:"
wher
eareyougoinglooki
ngt
hishot
"she
bl
ushed"
areyoubl
ushingandwhoisthi
sman"
Her
:"
noonei
mjustgoi
ngoutwi
thaf
ri
end"
Me:
"mhht
hisf
ri
endmustbei
mpor
tant
"
Her:
"seey
oulat
er"shewal
kedout.
..Lwandl
e
goti
nsmili
ng
Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"l
wandl
e"
Hi
m:"
looki
m sor
ry"
Me:
"f
or?
"
Hi
m:"
ever
ythi
ng"
Me:
"ev
ery
thi
ng?
"
Hi
m:"
forbel
i
evi
ngt
her
umour
sim sor
ry"
Me:
"yeahr
ighty
ouar
esor
ry"i
sai
dget
ti
ngup
"i
m offt
oworkohandSar
aisnother
e"i
went
outiwasst
il
lmadathi
m.
Whenigottoworkournoseyr
epcet
ioni
stPi
nky
wasbusygossi
pingsoearl
y
Me:
"mor
ning"
Pi
nky
:"hav
eyouhear
d?"
Me:
"whatpi
nky
"isai
dsmi
l
ing
Pi
nky
:"t
hemi
str
ess?
"
Me:
"i
m sur
eev
ery
oneknowst
hatPi
nky
"
Pi
nky
:"i
wonderhowt
hewi
fei
scopi
ng"
Me:
"anymessages?
"
Her
:"
ohy
esher
e"hehandedmet
hel
ett
ers
Me:
"nowdowhaty
ouar
epay
edt
odo"
Her
:"
youar
ebor
ing"
Me:"
iknow"iwentst
rai
ghttomyoffi
cet
he
chai
rper
sonwaswaiti
ngformelooki
ngangr
y
Me:
"mor
ning"i
sai
dsi
tt
ingi
nmychai
r
Hi
m:"
youar
elat
e!"
Me:
"noy
ouar
eear
ly"
Hi
m:"
idontpayy
out
obackchatme!
!
Me:
"i
m sor
rysi
r"
Hi
m:"
howdot
heyknow"
Me:
"what
?"
Hi
m:"
mymi
str
ess"
Me:
"idontknow"
Hi
m:"
fi
ndout
"
Me:
"buti
m notap.
isi
r"
Hi
m:"
IDONTFUCKENCAREFI
NDOUT
DAMMIT!
!!
Me:"
howist
hatmyprobl
em si
rwheny
oy
deci
edt
ocheatony
ourwifewit
hmybestf
ri
end?
Hi
m:"
yourwhat
?"
Me:"shei
smybestf r
iendsi
randi
didntknow
aboutyouraf
fai
rtr
ustme"
Hi
m:"
didnty
ouj
ustsagshei
syourf
ri
end"
Me:"
sheisbutsi
rionl
yknowhernost
ri
ngs
at
tachedbusi
ness"
Hi
m:"
WHAT!
!!
?
Me:
"i
m sor
rysi
r
Hi
m:"
sheusedme"
Me:"
iwontsayshedi
dim sur
esheknowsy
ou
ar
emarri
edshewantednothi
ngser
ious
Him:"
thanky
ouLol
aandi
m sor
ryf
orsnappi
ng
atyou"
Me:"
it
sfi
neandyouwi
l
lbef
inet
ooi
twi
l
lbl
ow
ov
er"ismi
ledathi
m
Hi
m:"t
hankyouLol
a"i
noddedhel
eftmyof
fi
cei
l
etoutisi
gh.
Lateri
wentt
omeetwi
thAmandawhowasnow
famous
Amanda:
"heychomma"
Me:
"chomma?
"
Her:
"okoki
m sor
ryf
ornottel
l
ingy
ouisweari
di
dntknowhewasyourbossandhei
spopular
i
m sorry
"
Me:
"i
tsoksowhatar
eyougoi
ngt
odo?
"
Her
:"
stayt
hehel
lawayf
rom hi
m"
Me:
"youbet
ter
"
Her
:"
howi
syourl
i
fe?
"
Me:
"woul
dyoubel
i
evet
hatmymanbel
i
evedt
he
r
umours"
?
Her
;"
hei
soutofhi
smi
nd"
Me:
"iknow"
Her:
"ohmyfr
iendi st
il
lcantbel
i
evey
ouar
e
someone'
swife"shelaughed
Me:"
ohpleaseAmanda"i smil
ed"it
slat
ei
mustgetgoingseeyousoon"iwenthome
,Lwandl
ewaswat chi
ngasoccergamei went
t
ositnexttohim
Me:
"hi
"iexhal
ed
Hi
m:"
ti
red?
"
Me:
"youhav
enoi
dea'
Hi
m:"
im sor
ryl
ove"
Me:
"i
tsf
inei
'
vebeenmeani
ngt
oasky
ouy
az"
Hi
m:"
what
?"
Me:
"inev
erheardyouevenoncet
alki
ngabout
wor
k"helookedawayguil
ty
Hi
m:"
oht
hat
"
Me:
"cany
out
alkal
ready
"
Hi
m:"
promi
sey
ouwontl
eav
eme"
Me:
"ipr
omi
se"
Him:"
lookitr
iedtochangebutitwast oolat
e
meandmyboy swereonlyhavi
ngf unbutwe
di
dnotknowt heconsi
quencesoft hegamei
tr
iedl
ov eiwantedabetterli
feiwantedt ohave
anormal l
i
fewi t
hmyf amilybuticouldntLola"
Me:"whatar
eyoutal
ki
ngabout
?"i
sai
d
desparat
etoknow
Hi
m:"
im agangst
er"
ichuckl
ed
Me:"
youareki
ddingri
ght
?"Hejustl
ookedat
hi
m andshookhisbi
ghead..t
heniknewi
marr
iedacri
minalohmygodwhathav eigot
myselfi
nto
Me:"ohmygodidontbel
i
evet
hismyown
husbandi
sacri
minal"
Hi
m:"
letmeexpl
ain"
Me:"
explai
nthaty
ouareamurder
?OhLola
whatihavedonetodeser
vet
hisl
i
fe?
"tear
s
werestr
eamingdownmgcheeks
Hi
m:"
Lol
a"
Me:"
dontLol
amei needsomeair
  "i
wentst
rai
ghttomyroom andl
ockedmysel
f.
Lif
eisfullofsur
pri
sesi neverthoughtiwould
beinvolv
edi nagangsterletalonetobemar r
ied
to..
.iwassoscaredandangr ywer eadabout
gangsterswhokill
edtheirfamili
eshowdoi
knowmyhusbandwontki l
lmeoneday
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

I
nser
t7
_
___
___
__
Lol
a

It
sabeenaweeksi nceitalkedtomyhusbandi
knowi m self
ishbuti wasnotr eadytotal
kto
him .Icouldseehewashur tandsadandi j
ust
hadt oignorehim, im sel
fishright
??Ij
ust
couldntfacehi minsteadi deci
dednottoface
mydemons, i wouldgot owor kandcomeback
midnight.
Iwenttomymot heratthisti
meineededtot
alk
tohersheist
hebestper sontobewit
h.Even
thoughshesol
dmeshei ssti
llmymother
.I
wenttopayherav i
sitohgodshewassohappy
tome
Me:
"mama"
Her:
"mybaby "shehuggedme" i
m sosorr
y
mntanam im sorr
yisol
dy oupleasef
orgi
vesi
si
nowi wanttomaket hi
ngsright
"shekneel
edi
n
fr
ontofme
Me:
"if
orgi
vey
oumama  "
Her
:"
thankyousweet
ie"sheki
ssedmeal
lov
er
myface..t
hati
smymom f ory
ou
Me:
"mamai
needy
ourhel
p"shel
ookedatme
Her
:"what
everi
tisbaby"i
sighedandl
ookather
t
earsstar
ti
ngtothr
eaten
Me:"
mamamymar r
iagei
..
i.
.i
s"i
lookedaway
shehuggedmemor
e
Her
:"whati
sitLol
a?"
Me:
"MeandLwandl
ear
efi
ght
ingmama"
Her
:"
ever
ycoupl
efi
ght
ssi
si"
Me:
"butmamai
cantdot
hismna"
Her
:"
tel
lmeev
ery
thi
ngsi
si"
Me:
"hewant
schi
l
drenmamaandi
m notr
eady
"i
cr
iedmor
e..icoul
dnttel
lmymom t
hatmyman
i
sacrimi
nalnoicoul
dnt
Her
:"
it
sboundt
ohappensweet
ie"
Me:"
im notr
eadymom"i
wipedmyt
ear
sand
l
ookedather
Her:
"youguysshoulssi
tdownandt alkabout
thi
sbaby"shesighedandhel dmyhands"
l
ist
enbabyy oucantrunawaywheny ouare
havi
ngapr obl
em withyourmany ouhaveto
tal
kaboutitandfi
ndasol ut
ionsweeti
ethati
s
whymeandy ourf
atherwerealwayshappysisi
"
Me:
"iknewcomi
ngt
oyouwoul
dbet
hebest
"
Her:
"t
hat
swhatmot
her
sar
efor"i
smi
l
edat
her
Me:
"howar
eyout
hough?
"
Her
:"i
m oksweet
ie"shef
akedasmi
l
e
Me:"
thatsmi
l
emeanssomethi
ng"shel
ooked
away"mom t
alkt
omeplease"
Her:
"im goi
ngtobefi
neLol
aim hav
ingasmal
l
pr
oblem wit
hyourf
ather
"
Me:"
mamaheisnotmyf at
her"shelookedat
me"okokmom im sor
rybutpleasedontcal
l
hi
m myfat
herpl
ease"i
beggedhet
Mama:"
oksweet
ie.
.yourbr
otheri
sgi
vi
ngme
har
dti
me"
Me:
"whathashedone?
"
Her
:"hei
sdoi
ngdr
ugsagai
nLol
a"
Me:
"i
m notsur
pri
sed"
Her:
"ij
ustwi
shy
ourfatherwashere"t
ear
s
st
reameddownhercheeksihuggedher
Me:"
itwi
llbef
inemom youwill
seeJadenwil
l
st
opi pr
omisemommy "
i l
ookedinherey
es
Her
:"i
knowsweet
ie.
.goandf
ixy
ourmar
ri
age
"
Me:"okmommyi
wil
lcomev
isi
tagai
nokay
?"
Shenodded
Her
:"
takecar
esweet
y"wehuggedandpar
ted
Wheni gothomeLwandl
ewassit
ti
ngontopof
ki
tchencounterhi
sey
eswer
ebloodred
Me:
"Lwandl
e?"
Hi
m:"baby
"hel
ookedatmewi
thsadey
es
Me:"
ifor
giveyoufornottel
l
ingmei
nthef
ir
s-"
i
di
dntfi
nishthenextt
hinghewaski
ssi
ngmeall
ov
er
Hi
m:"
thanky
ouNgxi
za"
heshar
edt
ear
s
Me:'
dontcr
yhawu"hechuckledandki
ssedt
he
hel
loutofme"st
opitt
igerhawuwhatdidmy
l
ipsdo?"
Hi
m:"
imi
ssedt
hem"
hel
ookedatmesmi
l
ing
Me:
"okim goi
ngt
otakeashower"i
pul
l
edout
f
rom hi
sgrip
Hi
m:"
cani
joi
nyou?
"Hehadanev
ill
ook
Me:
"whynot
"ismi
l
edandshookmyhear
d
Wewentt
oshowerhewast
alki
ngnonst
opon
howmuchhemi
ssedmeandhowmuchhe
l
ovesme
Me:
"youcant
alkmybr
other
"hechuckl
ed
Hi
m:"i
tsbecausei
missedy
ou"
Me: "iknowal r
eady"hej ustki ssedmei
respondedt hekissgothotnextt hinghi shand
wasbr ushingmyt highi wasbr eathingheav l
y
heinser tedhisindexf i
ngeronmypal aceilet
outal ightmour ni li
ftedmyr ightt hight ohis
waist ehei nsert
edt hesecondf ingeri mourned
outl oudi gavehi m ahandj obhegr oanedhar d
heliftedmeupt ohisshoul der sandpl ayedwith
mycl i
twi t
hhi stonguehewasgi vi
ngmea
pleasur etomour nlouderheknewwel lhowto
playwi thmycl i
thel etmesl i
dedownt ohis
heighthewentt omymout hi coul dt astemy
palacei nhi smout hi wasf eelinghi s* **
betweenmyt highhewashar dhet henl ooked
i
nmyey eshi sey eswer ered
Hi
m:"
cani
?"Heaskedl
ooki
ngatmypal
ace
Me:"idontseewhy "ikissedhi mi mov edmy
waistclosertohim andhel i
ft
edmeupt oour
bedhegotont opmebet weenmyl egshet ook
acondom f rom thedr awerandwor eithe
l
ookedatmeagai nijustnoddedheent ered
hi
msel fimoanedhar df eeli
ngal i
ttl
epai nhe
sl
owl ymov edbackandf orthgroaningsexywe
changedposi t
ionsi gotont opofhimr i
dingthe
hel
l ouofhim hewascal l
ingmyname
squezzingmei dugmynai l
sinhisskinhehel d
mecl osertohim webot hr eachedourcl i
maxi
col
lapsedont opofhi mt ryi
ngt obreath
Hi
m:"wow"i
chuckl
ed"
ithoughty
ouwer
ea
vi
rgi
n"
Me:
"att
heageof21?
"
Hi
m:"
thatwasawesome"hesi
ghed
Me:
"i
twasev
ent
houghwegoti
nbedwet
"
Hi
m"'
il
ovey
ouLol
a"
Me:
"il
ovey
out
ooLwandl
e".
..wewentt
ohav
e
ai
nnocentshower

Lwandl
e

Af
teroursessi
onwewentt osl
eep.Next
morni
ngi wentdownst
air
stofi
ndCindywai
ti
ng
wi
thSara
Me:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e"
Her:
"i
m sor
ryLwandl
efordumpi
ngy
oui
twasa
mist
ake"
Me:
"i
tst
ool
atef
ort
hatCi
ndy
"
Her
:"i
knowLwandl
ewebot
hlov
eeachot
heri
m
sor
ryineedy
oubaby"
Me:"ohyouar
eti
redngamablesserwakhoand
youcomehereforf
orgi
venesshowpatheti
c
Cindy"
Her:
"imadeami
stakebbyi
m sor
ry"shewas
cr
ying
Me:"
im happywi
thmywif
eCi
ndyi
m sor
ry"she
l
ookedatmei ndi
sbel
i
ef
Her:
"iknewi
tLwandl
eyouwercheat
ingwi
th
herhowcanyou?"
Me:"dontpi
nthi
sonmeCi
ndyy
oul
eftmewhen
ineededyouthemost
"
Her
:'
buti
m her
enowl
ovepl
ease"
shebegged
Me:"noCindyidontl
ovey ouanymore"
shecr
ied
harderthatLol
acamer unni
ngdownstair
s
thi
nkingsomethingbadishappeni
ng
Lol
a:"
whati
sgoi
ngonher
e?"
Cindy
:"youaregoi
ngon..ohyouhappythatyou
gotmymani knewfrom t
hev
eryfi
rstt
imey ou
arenothingbutasnake"
Lol
a:"
heygirl
yyoucantcometomyhouseand
i
nsul
tmet hisismyhousewhenyouwant
Lwandledontcometomyhousegowheveryou
wantnothere"
Ci
ndy
:"i
wishy
our
oti
nhel
l
"
Lol
a:"
ohsweeti
ey ouweretheonewhobroke
upwithhi
m dontpinthi
stoanyonebuty
ou"i
si
ghedandlookatthem
Me:
"Ci
ndyl
eav
emyhousenow!
!"
Ci
ndy
:"doessheknowy
ouar
eacr
imi
nal
?"
Lola:
"ohiknowev er
ythi
ngsweet
ie"Ci
ndy
cl
ickedhertongueandwentout
Me:
"babyi
m sor
ry"
Lol
a:"
noneedi
under
stansl
ove"i
kissedher
Iwentt
odr
opheratwor
kandwentt
omyboy
s
Anda:
"youl
ookf
resh"
Me:
"iam mani
m bl
essed"
Anda:
"Lol
a"i
nodded
Luh:
"i
m happyi
fyouar
ehappy
Anda:
"doessheknowabouty
ourl
i
fest
yle?
"
Me:
"sheknowsandshei
scool
"
Luh:
"shei
sforkeeps"i
spentt
hedaywi
thmy
boy
s
Iwasluckyt
ohav
eLol
ashewast
hebestand
under
standi
ng
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

I
nser
t8
_
___
___
_

Lol
a

MylifewithLwandl ewasper fect,hewasso

carr
ingandj ealousatthesimet ime.Itsbeen5
mont hstogether.Workwasf ineev enthoughi
wast rav
ell
ingsomuchandt hatmademet o
fi
ghtwi t
hmyhusband, mymom wast herefor
meandmybr otherwenttorehabandmost l
y
mybestf ri
endAmandawaspr egnantmy
boss'schil
di washappyf orherev enthoughi
di
dntli
keheraf
fai
rwi
thamar
ri
edmanbutwho
am i
tojudge?.
Iwaschi
l
li
ngwithherandhert
ummywas
showi
ngali
tt
leshewasbeauti
ful
andcut
e
Her:
"icantwai
tformybaby"
shesai
dbr
ushi
ng
hert
ummy
Me:
"icantwai
ttobehergodmot
her
"isai
d
smi
l
ing
Her
:"
it
saboyLol
a"shel
ookedatme
Me:"whyar
eyousur
e?"Iaskedhersi
ppi
ngmy
cocktai
l
Her
:"
icanf
eel
it"shesmi
l
edl
ooki
ngather
t
ummy
Me:"
sowhatar
eyougoi
ngt
odowithhi
sfat
her"
shel
ookedaway"
Amandai
tshi
schi
ldt
oo"she
l
ookedatme
Her:
"iknowdontj
udgemeokay
?"shesnapped
atme
Me:
"i
mjustsay
-"shecutmebef
orei
coul
dfi
nish
Her:
"whydontmi ndyourli
feLol
ai seeyouare
perf
ectnotl
ongagoy ouwerecry
ingonhow
muchy ourmothersoldyouandnowy out
hink
youareperf
ectpleasejustmindyourown
busi
ness"
Me:"i
m sor
ry"tearsstr
eameddownmyf ace"i
havetogo"iquickl
ypaidt
hebillandwalkedout
.Icouldnotbeli
eveAmandasaidt hatt
omei
wasonlytry
ingtoreasonwit
hheri t
snotlike
mylif
eisperfectAmandadidnthavetoremind
me.
IgothomeLwandlewaswi
thChr
isandSar
a
wasprepar
ingsupper
Me:
"heyguy
s"
Chr
is:
"heyLol
a"
Lwandl
e:"
youdontl
ookgood"
Me:
"i
mjustt
ir
ed"
Lwandl
e:"
arey
ousur
e?"
Me:
"100%sur
e"
Sar
a:"
youl
ookl
i
keyouhavebeencr
ying"
she
l
ookedatmewi
thypi
tyey
es
Me:
"notatal
lSar
a"i
fakedasmi
l
e
Sara:
"okgoandresti
wil
lcal
lyouwhent
he
supperisr
eady
"
Me:"
okthankyouSara"bef
oreicoul
dgo
upst
air
sCindybaggedincry
ing
Ci
ndy
:"Lwandl
eim pr
egnant
"shewassobbi
ng
Lwandl
e:"
howci
ndy
?"
Cindy:"
Lwandlemymom ki ckedmeouti have
nowher etogo"Lwandlelookedatmei
shruggledandwentupstair
s.It houghtmyl i
fe
wasgoi ngwellbuti
tseemsasi fiwaswr ong
fi
rstitwasAmandanowi t
sCi ndycantjustmy
l
ifegetbetter
?Isthatt
oomucht oask?.
Igotundercoversobbi
ngwhatwasi thi
nkingi
meanLwandl ehadagirl
fr
iendandiagreedon
worki
ngourmar ri
ageiam afoolandihaveto
acceptthatLwandl ewillal
wayshav e
somet hi
ngt hatwil
lli
nkhi mtoCindy.Icoul
dnt
takethatmyhusbandi sgoingtohaveachil
din
hisexgirlf
ri
endnott omei twast oomuchto
takeinijustcouldnttake.
Lwandl
egoti
nandsatnex
ttome
Lwandl
e:"
Lol
aim sor
ry"het
ookmyhands
Me:
"icantLwandl
eij
ustcant
"
Lwandl
e:"
pleasewecant
alkaboutt
his
pl
ease"
hepl eaded
Me:
"i
tst
oomuchi
m sor
ry"i
sai
dcr
ying
Lwandl
e:"
Lol
asheiscar
ri
ngmychi
l
dicantj
ust
l
eaveherhomel
ess"
Me:
"r
entheraf
latorsomet
hingshecantl
i
ve
wi
thus"
Lwandl
e:"
sheneedusLol
a"
Me:
"Us?
?"Il
ookedathi
m shocked
Lwandl
e:"
wecanmaket
hiswor
kpl
easebaby
"
Me:"
idi
dntsi
gnupf
ort
hisLwandl
e"i
sai
d
get
ti
ngup
Lwandle:
"Lol
aifyouhav
egivenmechildr
en
noneofthiscoul
dhappen"i
lookedathimin
di
sbel
ief"
Me:
"ohi
tsmyf
aul
tnow"i
cri
edoutl
oud
Lwandl
e:"
idi
dntmeani
tli
ket
hat
"
Me:"ohicantbel
ievet
hisweareonlyf
ive
monthsmar r
iedandyousayidontgi
veyou
chi
l
drenhowpat het
ic
Lwandle"
   
Lwandl
e:"
Lol
awhatdoyouwantmetodo?
"He
l
ookedatmeangry"
tel
lme"heroar
ed
Me:"i donthaveti
mef ort
his"iwentdownstai
rs
Cindywasgi ggli
ngwithChrisi
justgotannoyed
sheseemedhappywhi leshewasdestroyi
ng
mei justlookedatherandshelookedatme
smili
ng
Ci
ndy
:"t
hanky
ouf
orwel
comi
ngy
oui
nyour
house"i
chuckl
ed
Me:
"mypl
easur
e"i
wentt
omam Sar
a
Sara:"
itsgoi
ngt
obef
inef
inel
ala"
shesai
d
brushingmyback
Me:
"whenSar
a?"
Her
:"
idontknowbuti
twi
l
lnono"
Me:
"i
fyousayso"Chr
iscamet
osi
tnextt
ome
smi
l
ing
Me"
whatcr
is"
Hi
m:"
not
hingi
justl
i
key
ou"
Me:
"ohy
oudo?
"il
ookedathi
m
Hi
m:"
ili
ket
hewayy
ouhandl
ethi
ngs"
Me:
"whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?"
Hi
m:"
thi
sCindydramai
fiwereyouiwouldpack
mybagsandgobutyoudi
dntthatmeansyou
ar
eastr
onggirl
"
Me:
"thanky
ouChr
is"
Him:
"dontletCi
ndygetbet
weenyoutwookay
andwear enotevensur
esheispr
egnant
Lwandl
e'schil
d"
Me:
"butChr
ist
hisi
stoomuch"
Hi
m:"
iknowbuthangi
nther
epl
ease"
Me:
"iwi
l
ltr
ybuti
m notpr
omi
sing"
.
Wewer
eeat
ingsupper
Ci
ndy:"
tat
akhemaybeweshouldnamehi m
Lwandl
ejuni
orwhatdoyout
hink?"
ilookedat
Lwandl
ewhowassmi l
ing
Lwandl
e:"
ilov
eiticantwai
tforhi
m"hebr
ushed
Ci
ndy'
stummyt earsthr
eat
enedmyeyes
Chr
is:
"soLol
ahowdoesi
tfeel
tobe
i
ndependant
"
Me:
"good"i
fakedasmi
l
e
Chr
is:
"ther
e'snot
hingsexyasani
ndependant
women"
Me:
"iknowheyi
tsgoodt
ohav
eyourown
t
hings"i
smi
l
edathi
m
Chri
s:
"howabouttomor
rowwegooutj
ustt
he
twoofus"
hepleaded
Me:"thatwoul
dbeperfectChr
is"isai
dget
ti
ng
up"ineedtosleepChr
issowil
l seeyou
tomorrow..
.iwenttosl
eep.
Nextmor ningiwenttotakeashowert henwent
downst ai
rsonl
ytofindLwandleandCi ndy
play
inghappyf amil
yLwandlebrushingCindy
tummy   Chr i
swalkedinlooki
nggood
i
nbl ackshotsandandbaggyv estandt i
mbs
Chr
is:
"mor
ningguy
s"
Lwandl
e:"
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
esoear
ly?
"
Chr
is:
"meandLol
awear
egoi
ngout
"
Lwandl
e:"
wit
hmywi
fe?
"hel
ookedatmei
l
ookedaway
Ci
ndy
:"i
wil
lkeepy
ourcompany
"
Lwandl
e:"
Lol
ayouar
egoi
ngoutandi
dont
knowaboutt
hat
?"
Me:
"asi
fyoucar
e"
Lwandle"i
car
eyouar
emywi
feandi
lov
eyou"i
chuckl
ed
Me:"yesy oudo"i rol
l
edmyey es"Chr i
sl etme
changei willj
oinyousoon". .
.iwenttochanged
i
ntoblackadi dasshor tshot
s,whitecropt op
andnudeheel swithamat chi
ngbagi l
etmy
l
ongcur l
yhai rlooseilookedatmysel fint he
mirr
orilookedsexyi appli
edmar oonlipsti
c,my
att
ir
ewassay inglookatmei knewLwandl e
wouldgetj eal
ousandi wasgoingt oenjoy
watchi
nghi m.
Iwal
keddownst
air
sChr
isl
ookedatmest
unned
Chr
is"
wow"t
hati
sal
lhecoul
dsay
Me:
"shal
lwe?
"
Lwandl
e:"
youar
enotgoi
ngany
wher
elooki
ng
l
iket
hat"
Me:
"weshal
lsee"
Lwandl
e:"
whatgameareyoupl
ayingLol
ayou
ar
emywi feandipadl
obol
oforyou"
Me:"whydonty
oupl ayhappyfami
l
ywit
hCindy
andleavemealon?"Helookedatmewit
hsmall
eyes"let
sgochris"wewalkedout
.
Wewentf orbreakfastandalit
tl
eshoppi ng
Chriswast el
li
ngmebouthi sli
feandweshar ed
alotoft hi
ngsincommonhewasagood
l
istenerandhet oldmeabouthi scompl i
cat ed
rel
ationshi
pwespentt hedaytogetherandl ater
iwenthomei foundLwandl eandCindyki ssing
howni ceiclearedmyt hroatt
heyquicklypul l
ed
out
Lwandl
e:"
icanexpl
ainl
ola"
Me:"
youdontowemeanyexpl
ainat
ion"i
sai
d
f
ight
ingmytear
s
Him:"
looki
m sor
ryitwasamistakelol
aiswear
idi
dntmeantohurtyou"
ichuckl
edlooki
ngat
him
Me:"
asi saidyoudonthav etoexpl
ainyourselfi
getwhatisgoi ngonandi m gladicaughtyou
andiexpecty oudot hesamewheny oucaught
meki ssi
nganot hermanl etsj
usthaveanopen
marri
agel et
snotcompl icatethi
ngsokay?"isai
d
smil
ingi wentupstai
r
Icr
iedmyl
ungsouti
coul
dntbel
i
evewhati
saw

OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

i
nser
t9
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___

Lwandl
e

Thi
ngswithmywi fewerebadsheev enmov ed
outofourbedroom Idon'tbl
ameherthoughI
don'
tknowCi ndyhadthiseff
ectonmeshe
knewmyweakestpoi nt.Lolawasmyl if
emy
every
thingbutIr
uinedt hat.Icoul
dn'
tleavemy
wifeforagir
lf
ri
endsomeonewhoi snotev en
knowwhatshewant sinlif
eIhadt of
ixthings
withLola.
Iwaswi
thmyboyChr
is
Me:
"Imessedupbr
o"
hi
m:"Iknowandy oumessedupbi
gti
mewhat
wereyouthinki
ng?"hel
ookedatme
di
sappoint
ed
me:"
howam Igoi
ngtofixt
hings"
Ilookedathi
m
t
ryi
ngtof
indasolut
ion
hi
m:"Idon'
tknowbutal
lIknowy
oucan'
tl
ose
hersheist
hebestbro"
me:
"Ican'
tbr
oIhav
etot
alkt
oher"
hi
m:"
youneedt
ogetCi
ndyoutf
ir
st"
Ilookedat
hi
m
me:
"shei
scar
ryi
ngmychi
l
dChr
is!
!"
Iexcl
aimed
hi
m:"
Igi
veup"
hesai
dwal
ki
ngout.
Il
oveLol
amorethanany
thi
ngbutIcan'
tki
ck
Ci
ndyoutnoIcan'
t.
Iwal
kedtoLol
a'
sbedroom shewasnotther
e
andt
herewasalet
terontopofthebedsayi
ng:
"
Lwandl
e

Itriedt osuppor tyoubutIcoul dn'

tI'm sorrythat
I'
m nott herewheny ouneedmet hemostbutI
can' tstaywi t
hanot herwomanwhoi scar ryi
ng
yourchi l
dwhenI '
m supposet obeone. The
sightofy ouandCi ndymakesmeangr yandi t
makesmet obesomeonei m notandIdon' t
wanty out oseet hebadsi deofme.It ri
edt o
l
ivewi thyoubutIcoul dn'
tEv eryti
meIseey ou
brushi ngCi ndy'st ummymakesmewantt ocr y
l
etal oneseey ouki ssher.Iknowy oumi ght
thinkIam acowar dnoI '
m notIhav etot hink
aboutmeIhav et of indmy self.It
houghtI
meantsomet hingt oy oubuti tseemsasi fIwas
fooli
ngmysel fIlovedy ouwi thmyal l
buty ou
don'tappreciatethat,wheny ouwant edt owork
outourmar r
iageIthoughty oul ov edmebutI
waswr ongIj usthopeCi ndywi lllovey oufor
whoy ouar enotf orwhaty ouhav eandIhope
shewi l
llovey outhewayIdi d.I 'm notper f
ect
thatIknowal l Iwantedwasy ourl oyal
tyand
l
ov eIwant edf amil
ywi thyoubutnowy ougave
mesecondt hought s.myquest ionf oryouis
areyousur eshecar r
yingy ourchi ld?anddon' t
l
ookf ormeI 'm safe.IWi llALWAYSLOVEYOU

l
ove:
Lol
a"
aft
erreadi
ngthelet
terIknewIhavebeena
completefool
Lolawasr i
ghthowcanIbesur e
shecarryi
ngmychildbutinal
lthi
smessIl ost
someonewhomeansal ottome, someone
wholovesmef orwhoIam Icannev ersur
vive
wit
houtmywi f
ewhatkill
edmet hemostisI
don'
tknowwher esheissothatIcould
apol
ogi
zet
oher
It
'sbeenTwoweekssi nceLol
alef
tandCindy
mov edoutaf
terif
oundoutshewasnot
carr
y i
ngmychil
dallshewantedwastodestr
oy
me.
Itr
iedtolookforLolabutnol uckshewasnot
evengoingtowor kIwasr unningoutofhopeI
nevermeanttohur thernorloseherli
kethi
s
.herphonewasswi t
chedof fIguessshedidn'
t
wanttobef ound

Lol
a

IwasinNi
geri
aforworkIwasther
ef ort
wo
weeksatl
eastworkwastheonl
ythingthatwas
keepi
ngmymi ndbusy
.
sothi
sdayIwasgoingt
odomot
ivat
ionspeech
aboutwomenabuseandal
l
Me:
"Goodaf
ter
noonev
ery
oneI
'
m Lol
aHadi
d
Lotch.Todaywomenar et r
eat edliketr
ashli
ke
theyarenot hingi t
'sit
'seitherPhy sical,
ver
ball
y
oremot ional .wehearst oriesaboutmenwho
rapechildrenandt hei
rmot hersandwhatdowe
do? nothingj usticehasnotbeenser vedwoman
arebeingki lledoutt hereev er
y daylikei
t'
s
nobody '
sbusi ness.Theyar escar edt ocome
forwardt hi
nki ngaboutj udgement alpeopl
e
whatot herpeopl ewi l
lthinkaboutt hem.So
pleaselet'ssuppor toursi ster
sandsayenough
i
senought her e'
snowor ldwi thoutwomen. .
thankyou"Isai dsteppingdown.
i
twast i
met ogobackhomeIwasnotreadyI
wasnotreadytofaceanyofmydemonsallI
wantedwast ost
ayinNiger
iaandl
ett
hings
sor
tthem out.
Il
andedinEastLondonai
rpor
tIbookedahotel
cal
ledOsnerIwasgoingt
ostayther
eunti
lI
sor
tmywor ri
es.
MondayIwasbackatwor
kandPi
nkywast
her
e
al
lsmi
l
es
Me:
"t
hatsmi
l
e?"
Iaskedhersmi
l
ing
Pi
nky
:"howwasNi
ger
ia?
"shesqueal
ed
Me:
"itwasokayPi
nkydoIhav
eany
messages?
"
Pi
nky:
"tonsohandyouryummyhusbandwas
l
ooki
ngf oryou"
shesai
dgivi
ngmemy
messages
Me:"
thanky
ouPi
nky"
Isai
dwal
ki
ngt
omy
of
fi
ce
Igott
hereIhaddomanyvoicemessage'
sfr
om
LwandleandAmandaIsi
ghedandcallAmanda
backshepickedupont
hefi
rstr
ing
her
:"
ohthankyouGodI'vebeentr
yingt
ocal
l
youareyouokay
?"Ir
oll
edmyey es
Me:
"whywoul
dInotbe?
"
her
:"
yourmanwasherel
ooki
ngf
ory
ouIwas
si
ckworri
edabouty
ou"
me:
"I
'mf
ineAmanda"
her
:"
I'
m sor
ryLol
aforev
ery
thi
ng"
me:"what
everAmanda"
Isai
ddroppingthecal
lI
buri
edmyf acei
nmydeskinfr
ustrati
on.my
bosswalkedinwit
hapil
eofwork
me:"
can'
tmydaygetbet
ter
"Il
eanedbackonmy
chai
r
hi
m:"
badday
?"heaskedwal
ki
ngout
me:"
youhavenoi dea"hejustl
aughedand
wal
kedout..Iworkedt i
ll
mybodycoul dn'
ttake
i
tanymoreIwassot i
redIhadahal fdayat
workIwentstr
aighttomyhot elroom If
ound
Lwandl
ewaiti
ngf orme  Ihav ebad
l
uckseri
ous
me:
"Lwandl
e"Isai
dunl
ocki
ngt
hedoor
hi
m: "I
'
vebeensi
ckwor
ri
edLol
awher
ehav
eyou
been?"
Me:
"Ni
ger
ia"
Isai
dsi
tt
ingdown
hi
m:"whyLol
a"
me:"
someofushav
ewor
k"Il
ookedathi
m he
coul
dn'
tfaceme
him:
"I
'm sor
ryLol
aIknowyoupr obabl
yhateme
nowandIdon'tbl
amey ouInevermeanttohur
t
youpl
easecomebackhome" hekneel
edin
fr
ontofme
me:"
Ican'
tLwandleI'
m sor
rytoobutnowIj
ust
wanttodi
gestevery
thi
ngalone"
him:
"okIgetyoubutpleasedon'
tleavemeLol
a
you'
remyallwit
houtyouI '
m not
hing"
me:"
not
hing?
?wheny ouwerebusywit
hCindy
di
dyouknowy ouar
enothi
ngwithoutme?
"
hi
m:"Ci
ndyl
eftshei
snotcar
ryi
ngmychi
l
d"he
l
ookeddown
me:"Lwandl
eyouwer ebusytreat
ingherl
ikea
pri
ncessbutmey ouweretreati
ngmeasi fI'
m
notyourwif
eIjustcan'
tfor
givethateasi
l
y "
hi
m:"
Iknowbutpl
easef
indi
tiny
ourhear
tto
f
orgi
veme
me:"
canyoul
eav
e"hel
ookedatmeIj
ustl
ooked
att
hedoor
hi
m:"okknowLolaIloveyou"Inoddedheslowl
y
wal
kedout..
.Iwassot ir
edIt ookashower
whenIwasdr ai
ningt
osleepIwasdi st
urbedby
amessagefrom myphonei twasf r
om
Lwandle
"Lol
ay ouaremyev er
ythingj
ustknowthatand
I
'm goingtofi
ghtforyouIknowIwr ongedyou
butpleasefor
giv
emeIl oveyousomuchi t
hurt
s"
Ij
ustcri
edmyselft
osleepnextmor
ningIgota
cal
lfr
om unknownnumber
me:
"Hel
l
o"
number
:"
hel
l
oam It
alki
ngt
oMr
sLot
ch?
"itwas
afemal
evoi
ce
me:
"yeswhoar
eyou?
"
her
:"
I'
m cal
l
ingf
rom EastLondonhospi
tal
"
me:
"okwhatcanIdof
ory
ou?
"
her
:"
Ibel
i
eveLwandl
eisy
ourhusband"
me:
"t
alkal
ready
"myhear
twasr
aci
ng
her:
"yourhusbandwasinvol
vedi
nacar
acci
dentlastnightwetr
iedt
ocal
lyoubuty
our
phonewasonv oicemai
l
me:"
areyousur
eit
'smyhusband?
"Iasked
hopi
ngsheismaki
ngamistake
her
:"
I'
m sur
eMr
sLot
ch"
me:"
youar
ecall
i
ngfr
om whi
chhospi
tal
?"Iwas
paci
ngupanddown
her:
EasyLondonhospi
talmiss"Idr
oppedt he
call
Isatdowntryi
ngtothi
nknoi tcan'tbe
LwandleIj
ustsawhimlastnightohmygod
whatifsomethi
nghappenedtohi m ohwhatif
themessagehesentwashisl ast?Ipacedup
l
osingmymi nd
It
ri
edguy
sandatl
eastIdel
i
ver
ed

OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

I
nser
t10
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__
Lol
a

Afterhear
ingt
henewsIdi
dn'tknowwhattodo
mybodybecamenumb.It ookmyt hi
ngsand
rushedtohospi
tal
.Onmywayi waspray
ing
nonstopIcouldn'
tlosehimit
'st
oosoonIwas
notreadyfort
hisIknowhecanbeanasshole
butsti
llheismyhusbandandIlovehi
m more
thananythi
ngintheworld.
Igott ohospi
talrecepti
onIwastoldwhereto
waitbecauset hedoctorsweresti
l
lbusywit
h
him .IfoundLwandl e'
sfri
endsandhispar
ents
ther
ewai ti
ng,irushedtothem Chri
ssawme
andr antomegi vingthebesthugever
Me:"
whathappenedChr
is?
"tear
swer
efal
l
ing
downmycheeks
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknowLolawearesti
l
lwai
ti
ngf
or
t
hedoct
ors"
hewipedmytears
Me;
"Ican'
tl
osehi
m"myv
oicewascr
acki
ng
Him:"
youwon'theisaf
ight
er"wewal
kedt
o
anyoneLwandle'
smom huggedme
Her:
"hewi
ll
bef
inesi
si"shel
ookedatt
ryi
ngt
o
convi
nceme
Me:
"Ihopesot
oo"Isatdown
Cindycamerunningwit
hherfri
ends,shewas
cr
y i
ngandIcouldn'
tunder
standwhyshei shere
orwhysheiscryingIj
ustcoul
dn'tunder
stand
Ci
ndy
:"i
sheokay
?"Shesai
dcr
ying
Mom:
"whoar
eyou?
"shel
ookedather
Ci
ndy
:"I
'
m hi
sbabyMama"
shel
ookeddown
Mom: "
lookher
ey ougol
ddiggerIdon'twanty
ou
nearmysonhei smarri
ed"
sheclickedher
tongue
Me:"
Cindyhaven'ty
oudest royedmeenough?
Thi
sisallyourfaul
tifyouhadn'tcomebetween
usnoneoft hi
swouldhav ehappenedplease
j
ustl
eav eusinpeace"Ilookedherhur
t
Cindy
:"I
'
m worri
edtooIwantt
oknowi fhei
s
okayisthatt
oomuchtoask?"
shelookedatme
withworri
edeyes
Me: "
areyouareyoubeingseri
ousweal lknow
youar enotcarr
yinghi
schil
dhet ol
dmel ast
night"
shelookeddown"areyouthatdesperat
e
formoney?
"shel
ookedaway"
Ihopewhatyou
aredoi
ngwil
lmakeyousl
eepatni
ght
"Il
ooked
away
Ci
ndy:
"Inev
ermeantt
ohur
tyouorany
one"
she
l
ookatme
Me:
"j
ustl
eaveCindy
"shel
ookedatme"
LEAVE
CI
NDY"Ishout
edather
Cindy:
"I
'm sor
ry"shewalkedoutwit
hherfri
ends.
Isatonthef l
oorcry
ingtryi
ngtof
igureoutwhat
haveIdonet odeservet
his
Dad:
"i
t'
sgoi
ngt obeokay"
(dadasi
nLwandl
e'
s
dad)
hesatnexttome
Me:"
when?"Il
ookedathi
m"al
lIwant
edwast
o
behappywasthatt
oomuch?"
Dad:
"it
'sokayt
ocr
ymychi
l
d"
Me:"Ican'
tl
osehi
m Ij
ustcan'
t"
Ibur
iedmy
headbetweenmythi
ghs.
Thedoct
orwal
kedt
owar
dsweal
lst
oodup
Me:
"t
ell
mehei
sokaypl
ease"
hej
ustl
ookedat
me
Doc:"wetri
edev er
ythi
ngwecanhe- "
hedi
dn'
t
fi
nishhissentenceIscreamedcr
yingcal
l
ing
Lwandle'sname
Me:"
NONONONO! !
!!"
Ifal
ldowncr y
ingmy
l
ungsoutIcoul
dn'
tl
osehim" Ican'
tl
osehi
m
whyhim?"
  
Doc:"pleasecalm downmiss"it
'sli
kehewas
pressingmeIj ustcri
edharderIcouldn'
ttakeit
anymor eIranoutsideif
elli
nthenear estbench.
Icri
edmysel fouthushingmyselfbackand
fort
h  whymustIl osehim why??can'
t
godt akemet oothen?Lwandlemeantanythi
ng
tomehewasmyot herhal
fbutwhyGodhadt o
takepeopl ethatmeansal ottome? whyGod?
Ordon' tIdeservetobehappy  .
Idon'
tknowwhathappenednextIwokeupina
hospi
talbedIl
ookedar
oundIwasal l
aloneI
wastryi
ngtothi
nkwhathappenedtomeandi t
al
lcameback.Tear
sst
art
edt
ofal
l
  .
Doct
orwal
kedi
n
Doc:"
misshowarey oufeeli
ng"Ij
ustl
ookedat
hi
m" mam youhav
et otalktomemay beican
hel
p"Ij
ustf
acedthewal lIheardhi
m walki
ng
outIwasnotinamoodoft alki
ngtoanyoneI
j
ustwantedtobealoneIhear dthedooropen
Per
son:
"Lol
a"i
twasChr
is
Me:
"Iwantt
obeal
oneChr
is"
iwasst
il
lfaci
ng
t
hewall
Chr
is:
"Lol
aLwandl
eis-
-"Icuthi
m of
f
Me:"CHRISLEAVEMEALONE! !Iscr
eamedat
hi
m andIsatupIf acedhim"j
ustgoplease"
I
whi
spered"pl
ease"Ibeggedhi
m
Chr
is:
"heisnotdead"hesaidqui
etl
yIqui
ckl
y
l
ookedathim hej
ustnodded
Me:"wher
eishe"Isai
dgetti
ngupfrom t
hebed
butIcoul
dn'
tIhadanabnormalpai
ninmy
stomachIscr
eamed"aaaaahh!
!"
Chr
is:
"Lolaar
eyouokay?
"Iscr
eamedhar
der
"
okI'm goi
ngt
ogetadoct
or"hewal
kedout
Ifel
tsomet hi
nghotbetweenmyt hi
ghsIlooked
i
twasbl oodIscreamedmor e.Thedoctor
camer unni
nghecheckedmehei nj
ect
edmeI
sl
owlydr ai
nedtosleep.
Iwokeuplat
eronmymotheri
nlawwassi
tt
ing
bymysideherey
eswer
ered
Me:"mama"shequickl
yhuggedme"what
happenedt
ome" shecouldn'
tl
ookatme
Her
:"
I'
m goi
ngt
ogetadoct
or"shecamewi
th
t
hedoctor
Doc"
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
"
Me:
"t
ir
ed"
Doc:
"I
'm sor
rymam t
hebabycoul
dn'
tmakei
t
"
helookeddown
Me:
"whatbaby
?"Il
ookedathi
m conf
used
Doc:
"youwer
efourweekspr
egnant
"
Me:
"how?
?"Tear
scamer
unni
ngmycheeks
Doc:"
I'
m sor
ryMam thebabycoul
dn'
ttaket
he
st
ressyouhadI'
m sorr
y"
Me:"
Nothi
sistoomuch" Ishookmyheadt r
ying
todi
gestt
henewsnot hi
scan' thappent
omei t
can'
t"NoNONO! !
!!
!"Icr
iedhar der
"t
hisi
snot
tr
uebutwhymewhy ?
"
Doc:"
I'
m sor
rymam butthegoodnewsisy
our
husbandisr
espondi
ngwelltothet
reat
ment
andheisawake"Ijustl
ookedathi
m
Me:
"Iwantt
obeal
one"Isai
dfaci
ngt
hewal
l
Whyme? Ij
ustwi
shgodcouldtakemeIcan'
t
takethi
sburdenany
more..It
ouchedmytummy
cryi
ng
[
06/
28,
20:
55]Ron:
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

i
nser
t11
_
___
___
_
Lwandl
e-shor
tsomet
hing

i
t'
slikeIwasi nadar kplacey esIcouldseethe
l
ightbutitwasf arItr
iedtor eachitbutIwas
t
oof ar,
ItriedharderIcrawledt oi
twhenI
r
eachedi tsli
keaheav yweightwast akenof
f
me.
Itr
iedtoopenmyey esbutitwastoobri
ghtI
shutthem andopenthem agai
nIwasinwhit
e
room Itr
iedtorememberwhathappenedtome
butIcouldn'
t.t
herewasnoonei nt
heroom.
Theonlyt
hingt
hatwasr unningthr
oughmy
mindwasmywi f
eLola.Ijustmissedherandal
l
Iwant
edwast otouchherandf eel
her.Iwas
di
stur
bedbymymom
Mom:"ohthankGodyouarewake"
shegav
eme
t
helongesthugsuf
focat
ingme
Me:
"mom,
ican'
tbr
eat
h"shepl
ayf
ull
yhi
tme
mom:
"ohmyonl
yson"
shehuggedmeagai
n
"
youwanthi
mtodi
e"t
hatwasdad
dad:
"myson"wef
istbumped
me:
"I
'm okpeopl
e"Il
ookedatt
hem
"weknewy ouwerepul
l
ingourl
egs"i
twas
Luyol
oalongwit
hmyboy s
me:
"youknowmeIl
i
ket
oomuchat
tent
ion"
t
heyl
aughed
wetalkedandtal
kedtheyweresohappyIwas
okaybutdeepdownIwasnotokay, wher
eis
mywif e?Imi
ssedhertheonl
ypersonwho
coul
dmakemehappyandf eelgr
eat
"Shei
sokayson"shesai
dlooki
ngatmewi
th
pit
yeyes.
.thatwasmymom
Me:"
whereisshet
hen?
"Iaskedki
nda
di
sappoi
nted
mom:"shei
sal
soadmi
tt
edher
e"shel
ooked
down
me:
"whathappened?
"Ipani
cked
mom:"
sheuhm she"shecoul
dn'
tsayi
tshej
ust
st
uck
"I
'
m okayI'
m here"sai
dLol
awalki
nginslowl
y
herey
eswer eredtheywer
enotspar
kli
ng
anymore
me:"
babe"
,Isai
dqui
etl
yst
il
lembar
rassedof
whatIdi
dtoher
her:
"noneedt
obeembar r
assedi
t'
swaterunder
thebri
dgeshesai
dthatgi
vingmethebesthug
ever.
westayedineachot
herembr
acef
ort
he
l
ongestti
me
Lol
a:"
Ilovey
ouLwandl
e"shesai
dst
arr
ing
di
rect
lyinmyey
es
me:"Il
oveyoumoremamawabant wanabam
"shepull
edoutl
ooki
nghurtaf
terIsaidthat
tear
sstreameddownhercheeksshel ooked
awayshewenttostandbyawi ndow..Ilooked
atmypar ent
sandfr
iendst
heyal
ll
ookeddown
thenIknewsomethi
ngwasup.
It
ri
edtogetupbutmybodyf
ail
edme,
ev
eryonewassi
lent
Me:"
mom whati
sgoingon?shedi
dn'
tev en
l
ookedatmeshescr
atchedherhai
r,
il
ookedat
dadhel
ookedawayandinmyboy st
heyal l
l
ookedaway.i
twassotensethedoctorwalked
i
n
Doc:"
howarey oufeeli
ngsir
?andI 'm sor
ry
aboutyourl
oss"Ij
ustlookedathim. .helooked
atevery
onetheyalll
ookeddown" ohmybadI '
m
sorr
yIdidn'
tknowy ouhaven'ttel
lhim"Lola
l
ookedathim withpleadi
ngey es
Me:
"t
ell
mewhat
"hel
ookedatLol
athenatme
doc:
"i
t'
snotmypl acesirexcuseme"
heexcused
himsel
fIchuckledi
ndisbeli
efnoonewantedto
sayanythi
ngandwhatdi dhemean"heissor
ry
formyloss"Itri
edtothinkofsomet
hingbutI
coul
dn'
tnothingmadesense
Lol
a:"canIhaveapriv
atemomentwit
hmy
husband?"theyal
lnoddedandwal
kedout
.
Lol
acametositnextt
omesheheldmyhands
andtear
swer
ef al
li
ngdownshecoul
dn'
tev
en
l
ookatme
Me:
"youscar
ingme"
Isai
dsl
owl
y
her:
"I
'm sorryIfai
l
edy ouitwasnev ermy
i
ntenti
onsi fIknewi nt
hef i
rstpl
acenoneofthi
s
wouldhav ehappenedI '
m sorryLwandle"
she
huggedhersel fItookherinmyar ms
Me:"
y oudidn'
tfai
lmeI
'
mt heonewhofail
ed
youbabei mtheonewhoshoul
dbeapologisi
ng
l
ove"shelookedatmecry
ing
Lol
a:"
IlostourbabyLwandl
e"Il
ookedather
shel
ookeddown
Me:
"whatdoy
oumean"
shel
ookedatme
Her
:"Ihadamiscarri
age"
shesai
dqui
etl
yI
l
ookedathershelookeddown
Me:
"youwer
epr
egnant
?"shenoddedand
start
edt ocryItookherinmyar msIsil
entl
y
cri
edIcoul dn'
thelpitI'
mtheonewhocaused
ourmi scar
riageIkill
edourbabyshesobbedthe
mor eshecr i
edthemor etear
swer efl
owingi
fail
edasahusbandandasaf atherI
'
mj ust
nothingbutausel essman
Her:
"i
t'
snotyourfaul
tBabewebot
hdi dn'
tknow
Iwaspregnant
"shewipedawaymytears
me:
"iti
sLolaandhowdoy
ouev
enl
ookat
me"
shelookedatme
Her:"
noit'
snotandIloveyouregardl
essyno
needtostressabouti
twear egoingtolook
for
war donworkingourrel
ati
onshipandwear e
goingtohaveasoccerteam andwewi l
l have
happil
yeveraft
erokay?Inoddedandsmi l
edat
her.
Lol
awaseveryt
hingInmehowposit
iveshewas
mademestrongerandthef
actt
hatI
'm not
l
osi
nghermademehappy
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

I
nser
t12

Lol
a

It
sbeenaweeki l
ostmybabyi coul
dnthi demy
emot i
onsi wasdepressed,thethoughtt hati
waspr egnantmademecr azy.Itwasmydr eam
tohaveababyt ohav eay oungerversionofme,
idontknowwhati havedonet odeser vethelife
ihad,Lwandlewasst i
lli
nhospi t
al.Hewasal so
depressedblaminghisselfformymi sscari
age.
Myfamil
ywassupport
ingespecial
lymymom
shewasthebestmyi
nlawswer ether
eformei
wasgl
adt ohavet
hem i
nmyl i
fe.
Iwashomecl eani
ngsi
nceLwandlei
scoming
back,
isentSarahome.Itookasi
ckl
eaveand
mybosswassuppor t
ive.
Asi wascl
eaningaiheardaknockiwentt
o
openitwasay oungLadyshewaswi t
haher
chi
ldshelookedli
kesheissomeonewhois
str
uggli
ngorsomeonewhoi sinpovert
yas
soonasshesawmeshel ookeddown
Me:
"cani
hel
pyou?
"
Her:
"i
mlooki
ngf
orLwandl
e"i
lookedatandt
he
chi
l
d
Me:"pl
easecomei n"theygoti nlooki
ngaround
thehouse"y oucansit"shelookedatmewi th
questi
oningeyesijustrol
ledeyesandt hensat
downt heysattoo
Me:
"sowhyar
eyoul
ooki
ngf
ormyhusband?
"
Her
:"icamebecauseofthi
schi
l
d"shesai
d
l
ookinhatherdaught
er
Me:"
why?"
iwasstar
ti
ngtopanickwhati
fshei
s
Lwandl
e'
schi
ld?Noitcantbe
Her:
"iwoul
dli
ket
ospeakt
ohi
m"i
lookedata
l
it
tl
eangry.
Me:"heisnothere"shel
ookedatmet hendown
"youcanwai tf
orhi mthough"isai
dgoingt
o
thekit
chenistar
t edcooki
nglunch.
Lateroniheardacarpul
li
ngout
sidemi
nutes
l
aterLwandlegoti
nsmi l
i
nghewashisfr
iendsi
rantohim andki
ssedhim
Hi
m:"
missedme?
"hesmi
l
edi
nodded
Me:"
youhavevisi
tor
s"i
saidlookingi
nthe
l
oungehelookedatmei j
ustshruggl
edhi
s
f
ri
endslef
tthehouse
Wewentt ohisguest
swhenhesawt hegirlhi
s
facechangedicoul
dntreadhi
sfaci
alexpr
ess
helookedmeandt hechil
d
Him:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e"shelookedup
shest
oodandplay
edwit
hherfi
ngers
Her:
"i
m sorryiknowyouhatemeandi hopeyou
under
standi di
dntdoitonpurposei
m sor
ry
Lwandle"helookedsoangry
Hi
m:"
iaskedwhatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"
he
r
oar
ed
Her
:"i
cantr
aisethi
schi
ldal
onei
dontev
en
hav
eajobicantsuppor
ther
"
Hi
m:"
howi
sthatmypr
obl
em?
"Her
aisedhi
s
ey
ebr
ow
Her
:"
sheneedsherfami
l
yicantgi
veherl
i
fe"
she
l
ookeddownsobbing
Him:
"youkil
ledmybrot
hermyonlybrot
herand
youhaveaner v
etocomehereaft
erwhatyou
didt
omeandmyf amil
y"hesai
dthatl
ooki
ngat
herf
uriousl
y
Her
:"
iknowandi
m sor
ry"shel
ookedathi
m
Him:"sorr
y?Wil
lyoursorr
ybringbackmy
brother?Youar
enot hi
ngbutaki l
l
ery ou
deservetoroti
njailf
orwhaty oudid,youkil
l
ed
hi
mf ormoneyyoutookeverythi
ngt hat
belongedtohim andnowy ouaresor r
y!!
?"He
askedexclai
ming
Her
:"
andi
regr
etal
loft
hat
"shekneel
edi
nfr
ont
ofLwandl e"im sor
rypl
easeforgi
vemeim sorr
y
"tear
sst art
edt ofi
llmyeyesi
twasan
emotionalscenemyhusbandwassohur tand
angryandt hegirlwascry
ingandherl
it
tl
egirl
wascr yi
ngt oowhichmeltedmyhearther
daughterwassobeaut if
ul
Lwandl
e:"
whyar
eyouher
e"hel
ookedaway
Her:
"icamet
oleav
eher"
shel
ookedather
daughter
Hi
m:"
why
?"Hel
ookedatmeandi
lookedaway
Her:
"sheisyourbrot
her
schi
ldicantpr
ovi
def
or
herpleasedontpuni
shher"
shestoodup
Hi
m:"whydonty
out
akehert
omypar
ent
s?"
she
l
ookeddown
Her:
"t
heyhatemepl easedoi
tfory
ourbr
other
pl
ease"shebegged
Him:"
pleaset
akehert
omyparentsyoursel
fi
cantt
akeher"hesai
dgoi
ngupstai
rs.
Il
ookedatt
hegi
rlshel
ookeddi
sappoi
ntedand
hur
t
Me:
"Whati
syourname"i
askedher
Her
:"
im Busi
"shelookedatherdaught
er"
thi
sis
mybabyLuyakhanya"inodded
Luy
a:"
im hungr
ymama"sai
dherdaught
ershe
l
ookedatherandt
henatme
Busi
:
"iwi
l
lgety
ousomet
hingont
heway
"
Li
ya:"
that
swhaty
ousai
dyest
erday
"tear
s
st
reameddownherf
ace
Busi
:
"ipr
omi
seLuy
a"shel
ookedhur
t
Me:"
whatdoesshemeany ousai
dthat
yest
erday
?"shel
ookedaway
Busi
:"
nothi
ng"shehel
dherbaby'
shandwal
ked
outwit
hher..t
heylef
tmeconsufed

Lwandl
e
Iwascomi ngfr
om hospitalwheni gothome
mywi fer
anupt omeandki ssedmeandshe
sai
di haveguestswheni gott otheloungei
sawBusi mylatebrother
'sfianceshewaswi th
herdaughter
.Myhear tsankaf terever
ythi
ng
shehasdonebutst il
lshehav eaner vetoshow
herfacei
nmyhouse.
Shet ookawaymybr othershekill
edmybr other
sot hatshecoul dhav ehi shouse.Shehi reda
hitman, ihadt ogot hroughpai nbecausehe
playedsomuchr oleinmyl i
fehewasal somy
bestf ri
end.Mypar entsalmostgotdev orced
becauseofhert heycoul dnttaket hatt
heirfi
r st
borni snomor e,
theycoul dntacceptitmysi st er
blamedmef ormybr other'
sdeathsay i
ngi t
smy
faultthaticouldntpr otecthi
mf rom hisfi
ance. .
itookt heblamei hadt ogot osleepcryi
ngandi
becameanal cohic.
Afterseei
ngBusiithoughtofmybrotheri
ts
beenf i
veyear
snowsi ncehediedbutitst
il
ls
feelsl
ikei
tsyest
erday,
iremembermyl astchat
wi
thhi
m wewereatmyparent
s'housei
twas
meandhi
m andmysist
er
Me:
"youdonthav
etogobr
o"hechuckl
ed
Him:
"ihav
eafami
lynowij
ustcantdoanyt
hing
andmydaught
erwil
lbemadifisl
eeoher
e"
Si
ster
:"
idontl
i
key
ourf
iance"shehadanast
y
l
oom
Hi
m:"
youdonthav
etoosi
si
"hechucked
Me:"
it
snicet
ospendsomet
imewi
thy
ou"he
l
ookedatme
Hi
m:"
ifi
didntknowy oubet
teri
woul
dsayy
ou
ar
egay"wealll
aughed
Si
s:
"butbhut
ihei
sri
ghtandwel
ovey
ou"
Hi
m:"andi
lov
eyoubot
h"hesai
dlooki
ngat
smi
li
ng
Thatwaswheni l
astt
alkedtohi
m shet
ookhi
m
awayfrom us.Lol
agotinlooki
ngatmewit
hher
eyeshalfopened
Lol
a:"
areyouokay?"
sheaskedsi
tt
ingnextt
o
mei j
ustnoddedshebrushedmyback
Her
:"
youmi
sshi
m?"
Me:
"ev
ery
day
"il
ookedather
Her
:"
iwontsayi t
sgoi
ngtobefi
nebuthangin
t
hereiknowhowi tsl
i
ketol
osesomeoneclose
t
oyou"shelookeddown
Me:
"inev
ersai
dgoodby
eithur
ts"
Her:
"iknowbuty
ouwel
lgert
hroughi
tokay
??i
noddedhuggi
ngher
Shebr
okethehugandl
ookedatmepl
ayi
ng
wit
hherhai
r
Me:
"whati
sit
?"
Her
:"
not
hing"
shel
ookeddown
Me:
"Lol
a?"
Her:
"i
tsnot
hingser
ious"
shesai
dgiggl
ingi
l
ookedher"okayokayfi
neyougotmey oul
ook
cut
ewheny ouareangry
"shel
ookeddowni
knewshewasl
yi
ng
Me:
"i
fyout
hinki
m self
ishfornotwel
comi
ng
mybrot
her
schil
dim not"
shelookedup
Her
:"
shei
sjustaki
dbabe"
isi
ghed
Me:"i
donthisremi
nderwheni l
ookatherisee
himim notr
eadyLolaidontt
hinkiwi
llev
erbe
ready
"shenoddedunderst
andi
ng
Lateronwewereeat
ingSupperwhenCindy
dist
urbedusi
wassoangrtatherievenwanted
tokil
lher
Me:
"whatdoy
ouwantCi
ndy
?"i
sai
dthatboi
l
ing
Her:
"icametocheckupony
ou"webot
h
chucklednoLol
a
Lol
a:"
asy oucanseeheisf
iney
oucan
l
eave"shewassoannoyed
Her:
"i
m gladyouareokayiwaswor
ri
edabout
you"ij
ustlookedatherbl
ank
Me:
"Ci
ndyy
ouneedt
ost
opwi
thy
ourgames
andaccepti
dontwanty
ou"
Ci
ndy:
"youar
emyt
ruel
ove
l
wandl
e"  shest art
edt
ocr
y
Lol
a:"
hehake!
!"
shesai
dshovi
ngCi
ndyouti
just
l
aughedshecamebacklaughi
ngt
oo
Her
:"
shei
sobsessedsheneedshel
p"
Me:
"iknowmyl
ove"shepeckedmyl
i
ps
Her
:"
ilov
eyou"
Me:
"il
ovey
out
ooNgxi
za"
Wespentt
heni
ghttalki
ngtoeachotherand
ki
ssi
ngher
eandthereunti
lwefal
ledasleep

Guysim sobusyok? ?
theisacourseijust
star
tedandguysim sorr
yfornotposti
ngim
tr
uelysorr
yisawyourcomment sandinboxi
canonlypostonei
nsertperdaypleaseguys
barewithmethati
sallim aski
ng
Goodl
uckt
othosewhoar
ewr
it
ingt
hei
rmi
d
y
earex
ams
[
06/
28,
20:
57]Ron:
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

i
nser
t13
_
___
___
__

i
t'
sbeenweekssi
nceLwandl
ecamehome.
Ihavebeendi
stancedwi
thAmandaeven
thoughshet
ri
edsohardtobei
nmyl i
fe.
mymom call
edsayi
ngtheyhaveameeti
ngsoI
wenthome,whenigotther
eAmandawas
t
herewit
hhermotherandtheyhadr
edeyes.
me:
"af
ter
noon"
Isai
dsi
tt
ingdown
t
hem:
"af
ter
noon"t
heysai
d
me:
"whatisthemeeti
ngaboutIhav
etogoback
t
owork?"Iaskedal
it
tl
eannoyed
mom:
"sweet
iewecal
l
edy
oubecauset
her
e's
somet
hingy
ouhav
etoknow"Inodded
Amandas'
mom:
"wear
enotproudofwhatwe
hav
edoneandI
'
m sor
ry"Il
ookedatmom she
l
ookedaway
me:
"whati
sit
?"Iaskedpani
cki
ng
mom:"Amandai
syoursi
ster
"shesai
dlooki
ng
down
me:
"howi
sthatpossi
ble?
"Iwasconf
used
mom:
"shei
smydaught
ert
oo"
shesobbed
me:
"yourdaught
er?
"Il
ookedatAmandashe
wascryi
ngsil
ent
ly
mom:
"Il
i
edt
oyourf
ather
"
me:
"how?
"Iwassoconf
used
mom:"whenIwaspr
egnantAmandaIliedt
o
hi
m sayi
ngshedi
dn'
tmakeit"
shelookedatme
me:
"Ist
il
ldon'
tgeti
t"
mom:"Iwasnotreadytobeamotheragai
n
af
terIhadJaden"shekneel
edi
nfrontofme
me:
"buty
ouhadme?
"
mom:"yesIdidaft
erAmanday
ourdadsai
dwe
shoul
dtryforanot
herchi
l
d"
Me:"
whydidy
ouagr
eewheny
ouknowy
ouwer
e
notr
eady
"
her
:"
Iwassav
ingmymar
ri
age"Il
ookedatheri
n
di
sbel
ief
me:"
youkeeponsur
pri
singme"
Ilookedather
angr
y
her
:"
I'
m sosor
ry"
me:"
soallal
ongAmandahasbeenmysi
ster
??
howdoyousleepatni
ghtmom??how?I
'
m so
di
sappoi
ntediny
ouyouaresocruel
"
Amanda:
"Lol
acal
m down"
shewhi
sper
ed
me:"
howcanIcalm downwhenshet
ooky
ou
awayfr
om mysist
er?"
Amanda:"
Lol
aIknowy
ou'
reangr
ybutplease
cal
m downnowweknowwearesist
ersthat
's
whatmat
ter
s"shewassocal
m
me:"Ist
il
ldon'
tbeli
evei
t"Ishookmyhead"
so
daddiednotknowinghehadanot her
daughter
?"shelookeddown
mom:
"heknew"Igasped
me:
"whydi
dn'
thet
ell
us?
"Iwasdoshocked
mom:"
thedayhedi
edwast
hedayhef
ound
out
"
me:"
soy
ouki
l
leddad?
"shel
ookedatmet
hen
down
mom:
"I
'm sor
rysweet
ie"Iwashur
t
me:"
mom will
yoursorr
ybri
ngdad? ?howdo
youevensl
eepatnight
?soy oucauseddad'
s
hear
tatt
ack?"
Iwasnowcrying
mom:"I
m sor
rymyl
ove"Ij
ustl
ookedather
di
sgust
ed
me:
"Ineedsomeai
r"Isai
dwalki
ngout.Iwent
t
osi
tatthebackAmandajoi
nedme
her:
"I
'm gl
adI
'
myoursi
ster
"shebr
ushedmy
back
me:
"I
'm gl
adt
oo"
Ilookedathersmi
l
ing
her
:"
lookI'
m sorr
yforwhatIsai
dtoy
out
hat
dayI'
m sor
ry"shelookedcut
e
me:"
it
'swat
erundert
hebr
idge"
Isai
dlooki
ng
down
her:
"Lol
anoonei sperfectfor
giv
emom she
wasst i
lly
oungandwhoar ewetoj udge?
"she
tookmyhands" l
ooklet'sbegratefulweknow
thetrut
hok?nowwehav eeachotherandlet
's
bethebestsist
ersi
nt hewor l
d"Ilookedather
proud
me:"y
ouaresoposi
ti
veandI'
m gl
adwear
enot
j
ustbestf
ri
endsbutsi
ster
sIl
oveyou"we
hugged
her
:"
andIl
oveyoumor
e..wet
alkedcat
chi
ng
upandIf
orgav
emom.
Lwandl
e

Iwashomeal oneLol
awasathermother's
place.Ihear
daknockIwenttoopenitwasmy
family
,mom,dad,
aunt
,uncl
eandagir
lIdidn'
t
know
me:
"whatani
cesur
pri
se"
Isai
dhuggi
ngt
hem
mom:"IseeLol
aist
aki
ngcar
eofy
ou"
sai
dmom
ki
ssi
ngmycheek
dad:
"speaki
ngofLol
awher
eisshe?
"askeddad
si
tti
ngdown
me:
"shei
sathermother'
shouset
heyhav
ea
f
amil
ymeeti
ng"Isai
dsit
ti
ngdowntoo
mom:
"Imi
ssher
"sai
dmom smi
l
ing
dad:
"sheisthebestdaught
eri
n-l
awev
er"dad
waspraisi
ngher
mom:
"howi
sshehol
dingup?
"
me:
"goodshei
shappy
"Isai
dsmi
l
ing
dad:
"youar
einl
ove"
sai
ddadsmi
l
ing
aunt:
"canwediscusswhatwear
eher
efor
?"sheaskedannoying
mom:
"Idon'
tl
iket
hisatal
l"shesai
dlooki
ngat
meworr
ied
uncl
e:"
sony ouseet
hisgir
l?"
hesaidl
ooki
ngat
thegi
rlInodded"
sheisyourwi
fe"
me:
"mywi
fe?
"Iaskedconf
used
aunt:
"si
nceyourwifecan'
tgi
veyouheirwe
thoughti
tshoul
dbeagoodi deatohavea
secondwife"Il
ookedatdadhelookedaway
me:
"whosai
dLol
acan'
tgi
vemehei
r?"Iasked
al
it
tl
eangry
aunt
:"i
fshedi
dshecouldbepregnantby
now"shesai
dthatIwasboil
i
nghowcouldshe
sayt
hatwhenLolarecent
lyl
ostourbaby
me:"Auntyousupposet
obesidingwithLola
shejustl
ostourchil
dandyouthinkshecan'
t
giv
emehei rwhatKindofwomenar eyou?"I
wassoangr
yather
mom:"see?It
oldy
outhi
sabadideaidon'
twant
t
oloseLolaIcan'
tshei
stosweetf
orthi
s"she
wassobbing
dad:
"mywi
feisr
ightwecan'
tfor
ceLwandl
eto
marr
ysomeoneelse"
uncl
e:"
wearrangedhi
sfi
rstmarr
iagewhati
s
wrongarr
anginghi
ssecond?"
me:"Ilov
emywi feandIdon' twantanyoneelse
Idon'twanttohurtherIdon'tuncleyouwil
l
havet ofor
giv
emeIcan' t"Isaidlooki
ngdown
"
Babear
eyouhome?
"itwasLol
a
"i
nthelounge"Ishout
ed..shegoti
nsmil
ingI
coul
dseeshewasal i
ttl
eshockedtoseemy
famil
y
Lol
a:"
Mol
wenma"
shesai
dsmi
l
ing
mom:"
ohsweet
iecomeher
e"shesai
dhuggi
ng
her
dad:
"youl
ookgl
owi
ng"mydadsmi
l
ed
Lol
a:"
whatcanIsayyoursoni
str
eat
ingmel
i
ke
apri
ncess"shel
ookedatme
dad:
"hehast
ooy
ouar
eourpr
incess"
shesmi
l
ed
atdad
mom:
"Imi
ssedy
ou"
Lol
a:"
Imi
ssedy
out
oomom"
mom:
"youhav
etov
isi
tus"
Lol
a:"
Iwi
l
lmom don'
twor
ry"
aunt
:"
Lol
ayouar
ri
vedi
nti
me"
shenodded
uncle:
"Lwandl
ewil
ltakesecondwif
e"hersmi
l
e
fadedshelookedatmeIstruggl
ed
aunt:
"si
ncey
oucan'
tgi
veherheirwef
ound
someonewhowil
l"Lol
alookeddownt
ears
fal
li
ngdown
mom:"
I'
m sorr
ysweet
ieIwisht
here'
s
somet
hingIcoul
ddo"Lol
anoddedandl
ooked
atmeshewassohurt
uncl
e:"Isuggesty
oumaket hi
swor
kLwandl
e"I
j
ustlookedathim di
sgust
ed
dad:"Ithi
nkweshouldleav
enow"
hesai
d
standinguptheyal
lstoodup
mom:"
hangi
nther
esweet
ie"
shewast
alki
ng
wi
thLol
a.
theyal
llef
tleav
ingthegir
lbehi
ndIlookedat
Lolashewassitti
ngcry
inghersel
fIsatnextt
o
her
me:"
I'
m sorr
ybbe"
shel
ookedatmef
ort
he
l
ongestti
me
her:
"fi
ghtf
orusLwandl eIcan'
tshar
eyouwi
th
anothergi
rl"Inoddedhuggingher.
Iwasgoingt ofightforherIcoul dn'
tmarry
anot
hergir
l Lolawasmyev ery
thingshe
complet
edmeseei ngherlikethatbrokemy
hear
tIcouldn'tunderstandmyf amilyespeci
all
y
myauntImeanshei sawomanshesupposet o
knowwhathasbeent hroughlosingachi l
dit
's
notami
nor.
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

I
nser
t14

Lwandl
e

Thefoll
owingmorni
ngi
wokeupLolawassti
l
l
sl
eepingiwentt
owashmyfaceandteet
h.
Iwal
keddownst
air
sonl
ytofi
ndt
hegi
rlcooki
ng
andwear
ingt
hemakoti
ati
re
Me:
"hy
"isai
dthatcol
d
Her
:"
mol
obhut
i"shesai
dthatbowi
ng
Me:
"whatar
eyoucooki
ng?
"isatdown
Her
:"
por
ri
dge"shesai
dlooki
ngatsmi
l
ing.
Totel
lthetruthshewasnot
hingtomether
e
wasnothinhinter
est
ingi
nhershewasnoteven
beaut
if
ul
Me:
"sowhydidyouagr
eeonmar
ri
ngsomeone
whoisal
readymar
ri
ed?"
Her:
"iwasgr
oomedt
omar
ryy
oui
hadno
choi
ce"
Me:"
doyouunder
standthatidontwantyou"
shel
ookeddown..cal
levi
lifyouwantiwas
onl
ybei
nghonest
Her
:"
iknowbutyouwillast
imegoeson"
i
l
ookedatheri
ndisbel
i
ef
Me:"l
i
stenyouseeilovemywif
ewi t
heveryinch
ofmybodyi wi
llneverl
ovey
ouwhydontt ake
yourthi
ngsandleav
e"iwasgett
ingangr
y
Her
:"
icant"i
justshookmyhead.
Lol
awalkeddownst
air
sweari
ngbl
ackbum
shor
tandwhit
ecroptopwi
thmyadidaspush-
i
ns
Lol
a:"
Goodmor
ningf
am"
shewassobubbl
y
Me:"morni
ngsweet
ie"
isai
dkissingher
for
ehead"youl
ookhappy"shelookedatme
smil
ing
Her:
"iam sweeti
e..ohdearwhati
syour
name"sheaskedhersmil
ing
Gi
rl
:"
Siwe"
shesai
dquet
ly
Lol
a:"
ohim Lol
akemnasweet
ie"
shewasso
happyandall
Me:
"mywi
fei
shappytheni
m happy"isai
d
wr
appi
ngmyarmsaroundherwai
ste
Lola:
"iwast
hinki
ngwhydontweoutt
odaymy
tr
eat"thi
swasunli
keLol
a
Me:
"i
fyousaysot
heni
min"shesmi
l
ed
Lola:
"Si
weareyoujoi
ningus"
sheshookher
head"yourl
ossthenletsgohuny
"sheheldmy
handwewalkedoutiopenedthedoorforher
.
Wewer
eatmc-
donal
ds
Me:
"whyar
esohappy
?"i
lookdatherconf
used
Her
;"
imj
usthappyt
hati
sal
l
"iknewshewas
l
yi
ng
Me:
"Si
wehast
ogo"
shel
ookedaway
Her
:"
letherst
ay"
shedi
dntev
enl
ookatme
Me:
"why
?"
Her
:"
whatwi
l
lyourpar
ent
ssay
?"
Me:
"idontcar
eLol
aiwantherout
"
Her
:"
okt
hen"
shesmi
l
ed
Me:
"il
ovey
ouonl
yyou"
Her:
"il
ovey outoo"shesmil
edshowingher
di
mples" wouldyoubeli
evethatAmandaismy
si
ster
"ilookedatherwithquesti
oni
ngeyes
Her:
"l
ongstor
y"shetol
dmeev er
ythingiwasso
shockedbuti
washappyforhersinceshewas
happyshehadasist
er.

Lol
a
Af
terwehadlunchnoBaeiwenthomeandhe
wentt
ohisfri
endsiwashappyi
wantedt
oface
Si
wealone.
Igothomeshewasbusycl
eani
ng
Me:"l
ookawsiet
hisi
smyhousei wi
llnotl
et
youtodest
roymeandli
stentomecareful
l
yyou
dontwantt
oseethebadsideofme"she
l
aughed
Her
:"
andyoudontwantt
oseet
hebadsi
deof
metoo"i
chuckl
ed
Me:"ohmydearyouwil
lbeouti
nnotimewe
dontcar
ewhatthefamil
ywil
lsayt
hisi
sour
housenott
heir
s"
Her:"
youcantev engi
vey ourmanheir
"igot
angry.Ir
ushedtoherslappinghershefought
backi wasontopofherpunchinghershewas
screamingforhelpiwantedtomakesur eibeat
hersoshecoul dhaveblueeye.
IdontknowwhenLwandl
egoti
nheseppar
eted
us
Hi
m:"
whatt
hef
ucki
sgoi
ngonher
e"heshout
ed
Si
we:
"asky
ourbi
tch"
Hi
m:"
youcal
lmyabi
tch?
"
Me:
"getoutofmyhouse!
"
Si
we:
"i
m notgoi
nganywher
e"i
lookedat
l
wandl
e
Hi
m:"
youhear
dhergetout
"
Siwe:
"i
m notgoi
ng"
shesai
dwal
ki
ngt
oher
room
[
06/
28,
21:
03]Ron:
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

i
nser
t15

Lol
a
Thefol
lowi
ngdayIwokeupangryandmad.I
wenttobat
hroom Idi
dmybusi
ness.
Iwalkeddownstai
rsSiwewasbusycooki
ngin
herbum shortandcr
optopIclear
edmythroat
sheturnedbackshesmiledassoonasshesaw
me
her:
"ohheyf
ir
stwi
fe"Il
ookedatherdisgust
ed
"sogrumpyi
nthemorni
ng"Ijustr
oll
edmyey es
andwenttodomyselfbreakf
ast
her
:"
wecanmaket hi
swor
kyouknow"Isi
ghed
andlookedather
me:"l
i
st enther
e'snothingwil
lworkIseey
ou
thi
nky oucandowhat every
ouwanti nmy
housel i
stenmygi rl
ILolawon'tshar
eahouse
wit
hy ou"Isatbi t
ingmysandwi ch
her
:"
youmeanourhusband'
shouse,
"
me:"wel
ltel
lyourhusbandt
obuyy
ouy
ourown
house"
her
:"
noIl
i
ket
hisone"
shesai
dsmi
l
ingIwas
boi
l
ing
me:
"what
ever
"
Lwandl
ewal
keddownst
air
slooki
ngy
ummy
Hi
m:"
myf
avor
it
ewi
fe"
hesai
dki
ssi
ngme
me:"
myyummyhusband"Il
ookedatSi
weshe
seemedj
eal
ous
Lwandl
e:"
goshIl
ovey
ou"
me;"Il
oveyoumor eHun"
Ilookedathi
m"It
hink
Ishoul
dstarthi
tt
ingagym" hel
ookedatme
hi
m: "
sotheseguyscanl
ookatmypr
oper
ti
es
neverbabe"
Ichuckl
ed
me:
"youcancomewi
thmet
hen"
hewi
nkedat
me
hi
m:"
butbabey
ouhav
eaki
l
lerbody
"Ismi
l
ed
Si
we:
"hel
l
oI'
m her
e"shesai
dannoy
ed
me:"opsourbadwedi
dn'
tnot
icey
ou"
Ilookedat
hersmili
ng
Lwandl
e:"
anypl
anst
oni
ght
?
me:
"nopwhy
??"
hi
m:"
justaski
ngmyl
ove"
Inodded
me:"
Imustgetr
eadyf
orwor
k,"
Isai
dgoi
ng
upst
air
s.
Ichangedintomynav ychi
noandwhi t
ev est
withnavyblazerandwhit
estell
i
stoesItookmy
l
aptopbagandmyhandbag.Iwal ked
downstair
sLwandl ewassti
ll
there
hi
m:"Ist
il
lcan'
tbel
i
evey
ouar
emywi
feumhl
e
babe"Ismiled
me:
"t
hanky
oumylove.
.ar
eyougoi
ngt
odr
ive
meor?"
het
ookhi
scarkey
s
hi
m:"
Iwil
ldr
ivey
oumylov
e"wewal
kedout
l
eavi
ngSi
wejeal
ous.
Iwalkedi
ntotherecept
iont
hent
omyof fi
ceI
workedmysel
fti
ll
lunchtimemysi
sterbr
ought
melunch
me:
"hav
ingt
hebestsi
steri
nthewor
ld"
Amanda:
"Imi
ssedy
ou
me:
"youj
ustsawmet
woday
sago"
shesmi
l
ed
her
:"
itdoesn'
tmat
ter
"
me:"
wouldy
oubeliev
eLwandl
e'
sfami
l
ygothi
m
asecondwi
fe"shegasped
her
:"
aretheyalr
ightImeanwhodoest
hat
?"I
j
ustlookedather,"
sowhatar
eyougoi
ngtodo"
me:"gett
hatbi
tchoutofmyhouse"Isi
ghed
si
tt
ingback
her
:"
youbet
terorIwi
l
ldoi
tmysel
f"Ichuckl
ed
her
:"
rhaaLwandl
e'
sfami
l
yist
rash"
me:
"IknowheybutIcan'
tsharemyhusband
wi
thsomeoneelsenever"
Ibreat
hedheavy
her:
"andyouwon'tI'
m hereforyoufi
rsti
twas
Cindynowt hi
stheyaretesti
ngyou,youshoul
d
showt hem whoareyout heydon'
tknowyou"
mysi st
ercantal
k
me:"
thati
swhatI'm pl
anni
ngt
odomyl
ove"we
chat
tedti
l
llunchended.
l
aterIwenthomeexhaust ed.Iopenedthefr
ont
dooritwasdarkmeani ngnoonewashomeI
sawredr osesinthefl
oorIf ol
lowedthem when
Igottothesitt
ingroom Lwandl ewastherehe
madear omant icdi
nnerforus.
i
twassobeauti
ful
onl
ycandl
eswer
eli
ght
inghe
evencooked
Lwandl
e:"
ri
ghtont
ime"hesai
dkissingmeand
tookmybagsheopenedachairformeIsat
down
me:"
whati
stheoccasi
on"
Iaskedl
ooki
ng
ar
ound
hi
m:"
tr
eat
ingmywi
fe"
hesmi
l
edi
lookedathi
m.
wewer el
aughinghereandt herechatti
ngabout
usandourf ut
ure.
.Inot
icedsomet hingshini
ng
myglassIlookatbutIcouldn'ti
tseewel l
becausewewer edri
nki
ngr edwi neIlookedat
LwandlehelookedatmetooIcont i
nued
si
ppingmywi neIwasint
erestedonwhatison
mygl assi
couldn'
thel
pitItookitOMG!!i
twas
adiamondr i
ngitwassobeautif
ul.
Lwandl
ekneel
edi
nfr
ontofme.
him:"
LolaIdon' tknowhowt oexpl aintheloveI
havefor,you'
veshownmenot hingbutlov eI
messedupal otbuty ounev ergav euponme
,I
'm soblessedt ohav ey ou, youar emy
everyt
hingwi thouty ouI'm not hingandIwi l
l
nevermar rysomeoneel sebutIwanty out o
knowt hatwhat ev erwear egoi ngthroughI '
m
hereforyouandpl easenev erdoubtmyl ovefor
Iknowwewer ef orcedint hisandI 'm glad
becauseIl ovedy ouf orthet i
meIsawy ou,I'
m
notperfectmyl ovebutIpr omi seIwi l
ltryand
bethebesthusbandi nthewor ldsowi ththi
s
ri
ngwoul dy oudot hehonorofmar rymeandbe
myonl ywi f
e?"Idi dn'tknowwhatdoorsayI
wassohappyt earswer ef alli
ng
down  
me:"y
esIwillmar
ryyou"isai
dnoddinghe
l
ookedatmehappyhei nsert
edtheringonmy
fi
ngerohgoshitwassobeautif
ulI
'm sur
eit
cost
saf or
tuneIwashappyatmyhusband
me:
"I
'm sohappyl
ove"Isai
dhappi
l
y
hi
m:"i
t'
smyjobtomakey ouhappy
"Ihugged
hi
m gi
vingt
helongestki
ssever
"mhhmhhmhh"sai
dSiwecl
ear
inghert
hroat
.
shel
i
ghtt
hehouseglobe
her
:"
mhhr
omant
icdi
nner
"shehadaf
unnyf
ace
me:"
whatcanIsaywhenIhav
et hebestmanon
ear
th?heevenboughtmeadiamondring"
Isai
d
wavi
ngmyhand
her
:"
nice"Icoul
dseeshewashur
tIcoul
dn'
t
car
eless
Lwandle:
"t
hati
snotallmyl ovenextweekwere
goingtoMiamiandwhenwecomebackwewi ll
organi
seourwedding"Ihuggedhim sohappy
me:
"oht
hanky
oul
oveohmygody
ouar
ethe
best
"Ipeckedhi
sli
ps
him:"
youdeser
veitl
oveIl
oveyoust
handwa
sam"whatisLwandl
edoingtomeIwasfal
l
ing
forhi
m deepl
y
me:"Il
ovey outoomyl
ove"wewentupst
air
sto
ourroom .whenwegotther
ewekissedandthe
resti
shistory

Lwandl
e

nextmorni
ngIwokesohappyknowingIdi
dthe
ri
ghtl
astni
ght..Iwentdownst
air
sIf
oundLol
a
andSiweargui
ng
Lol
a:"
ohsweet
iei
fhelovesyout
henwhydi
dhe
marr
ymef ort
hesecondti
me?"
Si
we:
"wewi
l
lseewhowi
nsatt
heend"
Lol
a:"
ohIcan'
twai
tmydar l
ing"shewassocal
m
andall.
.Iwal
kedt
othem Ikissedmywifegood
mor
ningIj
ustl
ookedatSi
weannoy
ed
me:"whenar
eyoul
eav
ingkedear
"shel
ooked
shocked
her
:"
IthoughtI
'
myourwi
fe"Ichuckl
ed
me:
"youwi
ll
nev
erbesweet
ie"
Isai
dgr
abbi
ng
mycl
osetome
Lol
a:"
munchki
nyam"shepeckedMtl
i
ps
me:
"Ngxi
zakadaddy
"shesmi
l
ed
her:
"youandyourni
cknames"
Ismi
l
edl
ooki
ng
str
aighti
nhereyes
her
:"
youknowbabeIwast
hinki
ngaboutour
weddi
ng"
shewassobubbl
yandexcit
ed
me:
"whatar
eyout
hinki
ng?
"
her:
"wegoingtohavewhiteweddingsi
nceit'
s
myt r
adit
ionandXhosaweddi ngyourt
radi
ti
on
goshIhav esomanyideas"shewastal
king
nonstop
me:
"If
orgoty
ouar
eacol
our
ed"shechuckl
ed
her
:"
imy ourcol
our
edbabe"Il
ookedather
smil
ingshewassoglowingandshel
ooked
cut
e
me:
"sowewi
l
lhav
etwot
radi
ti
onal
weddi
ngs?
"
her:
"yessweeti
emineandy our
s..i
fIwasbl
ack
wewoul dhaveonetradit
ionalweddi
ng"I
coul
dn'thel
pitbutsmiledathershewasover
themoon
Siwe:
"ni
ce"
shel
ookedannoy
edi
lookedherand
chuckl
ed
Lol
a:"
getyourselfamanwhowi l
ltreaty
ou
wel
l"shesaidrappi
ngherhandsaroundmy
wai
ste
me:"Siweit
'sti
mey ouleav
eIdon'tcarewhat
myf amil
ywi l
lsayyoucangoandr untoto
them Idon'
tcareatall
mygi r
l"i
saidrunni
ng
upstai
rs
It
ookherbagsandwal
keddownst
air
s
Si
we:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
"Il
ookedather
me:
"youar
eleav
ingmyhousenow"
Siwe:
"pl
easedon'
tdot
his"
Ichuckl
edl
ooki
ngat
her
Lol
a:"
fi
nal
l
y!!
!"shesai
dsmi
l
ing
Si
we:"
thi
sisnotov
erLol
aIwi
l
lfi
ghtf
ormy
man"Ichuckl
ed
me"yourman? "shel
ookeddownandwal
ked
outdisappoi
nted
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

i
nser
t16
_
___
___
__

Lwandl
e

Iwashomealonemywif
ewasatworkIwas
j
ustthi
nki
ngaboutMyl
i
fe.Ihear
daknockIwas
wel
comedbymyangr
yuncl
eandf
ami
l
ythey
wer
ewit
hSiwewhowascry
ing
uncl
e:"
whatthehel
li
swrongwi
thy
ou
Lwandle?
"hewassoangry
me:
"Idon'
tgety
ou"
Isai
dsi
tt
ingdown
aunt
:"
youdoknowt
haty
ouar
eapr
ince?
"
me:
"Idoaunt
"Isai
dlooki
ngdown
aunt:
"hav
eyouev
erhear
damani nourfamil
y
rai
sedahandonawomen"okIwaslostknow
me:
"whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?"
uncl
e:"
youseeSi
wehasabl
ueey
ebecauseof
you"
hewasdisgust
ed
me:"
Inev
errai
sedahandonany
one"Il
ookedat
Si
weshelookeddown
mom: "
mysonIknowy oudon'twantthi
sbut
beat
ingawoman?"shelookeddisappoi
nted
me:
"mom IswearIdi
dn'
t"Il
ookedather
mom:
"t
henexpl
ainwhathappened"
me:
"If
oundherandLol
afi
ght
ing"Isai
dqui
etl
y
uncle:"
lookher
eSiweisnotgoi
nganywher
eand
thatisnotupfordi
scussi
on"Il
ookedatDad
buthel ookedaway
me:"
dadIthoughtyousai
dmyhappi
ness
comesfi
rst"
helookeddown
dad:"sonyouar eaprinceonedayyouwil
lbea
kingy ou'
ret
heonl ysonIhav edon'
tmake
thingscomplicatedplease"
hewasnoteven
l
ooki ngatme
me:"whati
fIdon'
twantt
obeaki
ng?
"theyal
l
l
ookedatme
uncl
e:"
mysonl
i
kei
tornoty
ouwi
l
lbe"Ishook
myhead
aunt:
"youdoknowthi
shousey
ouareli
vingi
nto
i
tsfami l
yhousey
oucan'
tdowhat
everyou
want"shewasannoyi
ngme
me:"
it
'sokIwi
l
lmov
eouti
fthat
'
swhaty
ou
want"
mom:"
ohpl
easesondon'
tthi
sit
sal
soy
our
home"
me:
"wel
li
tdoesn'
tfeel
li
ke"Isai
dget
ti
ngup
"honeyI
'm home"saidLolalooki
ngti
redshe
walkedt
ousherfacialexpressi
onchanged
her
:"
eveni
ng"
shewasnotpl
easedatal
l
mom:"heysweet
ie"
shesmi
l
edLol
ajustl
ooked
ather
me:"
sweeti
ewear
emov
ingout
"shl
ookedatme
conf
used
her
:"
why
?"Ij
ustl
ookedathernotanswer
ing
mom:"
Lol
apl
easet
alkt
ohi
myoucan'
tmov
e
out
"
Lol
a:"
Idon'
tunder
standwhati
sgoi
ngonher
e"
shewassolost
dad:
"Lwandl
edoesn'
twantasecondwifesohe
saysifwear
eforci
nghi
m hewill
"Lol
alookedat
meblank
Lol
a:"
Lwandl
epl
easesi
t"
shesai
dthatsi
tt
ing
downIsatdown
Lol
a:"
youknowIlov
eyour i
ght
?Inodded"look
sweeti
efamil
ycomesfi
rstyoudon'
twantt obe
onthei
rwrongsi
de"Il
ookedatherconfused
me:"
whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?"Iwas
pani
cki
ng
Lol
a:"youaregoingtomar r
ySiwe" Il
ookedat
her"andIwon'tstandinyourwayIwi llmake
thi
ngseasyf orevery
oneIwi l
ltakemyt hi
ngs
andgosi nceyourfamilyt
hinkIcan'tgi
veyou
hei
rIhopeSi wewi l
lgiv
eyou"
me:
"noLol
ayoudon'
tmeant
hat
"
Lola:
"Ididn'
tsignupfort
hisLwandleIwil
lnever
sharey ouwithsomeoneelseit
'sbett
eri
fIlet
yougoIdon' twanttocomebet weenyouand
famil
y "shewassobbinglooki
ngdown
me:
"sweet
iepl
easedon'
tl
eav
eme"
tear
swer
e
wel
dingup
Lola:"I'
m sorr
yLwandl eit'
sthebestt hingtodo
ri
ghtnowIhopeonedayy ouwi ll
real
izewhyI
didt hisIdeservetobehappyt ooInev erknew
mar riedyouwasgoi ngtohurtt hi
smuchIcan' t
takeany moreIcan'tI'
m sorr
y "
shesai drunning
upst air
sIlookedatmyf amilytheyalllooked
downIr anafterLolashewaspacki ngher
clothes
me: "Lol
apleasedon' tdothismyl ove
please"shejustlookedatmet earsr unni
ng
downherf aceshedi dn'
tsayany t
hingshe
cont i
nuedpacki ngherthi
ngs.t earswer efal
l
ing
downmycheekst ooIcouldn'tlosemywi fe
becauseofmysel fi
shfamily.shecl osedherbi
g
suitcaseandl ookedatme
Lola:"IloveyouLwandl ewi t
hal lmyheartIwish
younot hi
ngbutt hebestItr
iedsweet i
etostand
byy oubutIcan' tanymoreev ersinceImarr
ied
youIf eelnothi
ngbutpai nfami l
yisimport
ant
Lwandl eIdidn'
tknowmar ryi
ngy ouisasinI
didn'tknowl ovingy ouwill
becr i
meIhopey ou
will
findi
tinyourhearttoforgi
vemeoneday "
shepeckedmyl i
psandwal keddr
aggi
ngher
suit
case.Icoul
dn'
trespondIwasspeechless
mybodycoul dn'
treact.Isatdownburi
edmy
facebetweenmyl egsmyhear twassoaching.
Ihadtolosemywi f
ebecauseofmyst upid
famil
yIwishIwasnotbor nf
rom Royal houseI
wishIcouldkil
lthem .theonlythinginmymi nd
wasLolashel ovedmef orwhoIam notf or
whatihad.Iwassoangr yatmydadhedi dn'
t
evendefendmeIdi dn'tunderstandwhyIhadt o
havetwowi v
eswhi letheyhav eonlyone.knowI
l
ostmywi febecauseoft hem .
Iwentdownstai
rst
heywer
est
il
lther
eLol
awas
nott
hereitbr
okemyheart
mom:
"I'
m sor
ryson"Il
ookedatherdi
sgust
ed
me:"
youaresorry
?Lolaisgoneandy ouare
sor
ry?Iwishyouallr
otinhellIthoughtdadyou
car
edaboutme, yourchi
ldrenbutIwaswr ongI
hat
ey ouall
"Iwassoangr yatthem
dad:
"i
m sor
rysonbuti
t-
"hedi
dn'
tev
enf
ini
shhi
s
sent
ence
me:"
don'tev
enf
ini
shi
t"Isai
dgoi
ngout.I
wantedsomefr
eshai
r

Lol
a

Ipar
ckedmycari
nmysi st
er'
shouseIst
ayedi
n
mycarfort
hel
ongestt
ime.
Igotinsi
deAmandarant
omegi
vi
ngmet
he
besthugever,
wesatdown
her
:"
whati
sgoingonwhyar
eyoucr
ying?
"she
wassoworri
ed
me:
"Ican'
tAmandaican'
ttakei
tany
mor
eI
t
ri
edbutIcan'
t"
Isai
dcryi
ng
Amanda:"
ohmygodmnt asewhathappened?
"I
tol
dherever
ythi
ngshewasshocked
Amanda:
"t
heydon'
tdeser
vey
ourt
ear
sdon'
tcr
y
i
t'
sthei
rloss"
Ilookedathershewi
pedaway
mytear
s
me:"
don'
tIdeser
vetobehappy?Il
oveLwandl
e
andi
thurt
s"shebrushedmyback
Amanda;
"I
'
m sor
rysweet
ie"
me:
"canIst
aywi
thy
ou?
"
her
:"
youdon'
ttoask"Inodded
me:"Iwantt
osl
eep"
shenoddedIwentt
othe
guestroom.
Icri
edt omysel fIdidn'
tunderstandwhatIhav e
donet odeservethisinmyl i
feonemi nuteI'm
happynextI'm hurt.lovi
ngLwandl ehurtI
want edtobenextt ohim Imissedhim somuch
Ij
ustwi shedtoseehi m .Idi
dn'twanttobe
sel
fi
sht ocomebet weenLwandl eandhi sfamil
y.
may beIwasacowar dbuthi
sf amil
yseemed
nottolikemeespeci all
yhisauntmay be
becauseofmyr ace.whatIdon' tunderstand
l
wandl e'
sfatherhasonewi febutwhyLwandl e
musthav et wowivesIjustcoul
dn'tunderst
and.
Irecentlylostmybabybutnowhi sfamilythi
nkI
can'tgivehi m hei
r.Idi
dn'tknowmar ryi
nga
royalguywi l
lbeachallenge.Ihopedmy
decisi
onwast hebestIwantedtomaket hings
easyf orev ery
one.

Lwandl
e

i
t'
sbeent wodayssinceLolaleftIbecameI
drunkardmyfamil
ywer esti
l
lher e.Icoul
dn'
t
eveneatIwantedmywi feIwant edtohearher
voice,
iwant
edtotouchher.v odkawasmybest
.
Iwentdownstai
rsIwasamess.mymot her
wassoworriedaboutmebutIdi
dn'
tcar
eless
mom:"youhav
etoeatLwandl
e"Ij
ustcl
i
cked
mytongue
dad:
"sonwewi
l
lgety
ouLol
abacki
fyoueat
"I
l
ookathi
m
me:"t
hisall
yourf
aulthowdoyouev
ensl
eepat
ni
ght,
"Isatdowndri
nkingmyv
odka
Si
we:
"bhut
iatl
easteatsomet
hing"
Ilookedat
me:"
nxaayouar
eahomewr
ecker
"Il
ookedat
di
sgust
ed
Si
we:
"pl
easebhut
i"
shebegged.
l
aterIwasonlylef
twi
thSi
wemyf
ami
l
ywer
e
outforsupper
.
Siwecamefrom upstair
sweari
ngamatchi
ng
underwearshewalkedupt omeIl
ookedather
shecameandsatont opofmesheki
ssedmy
neck
her
:"
Iknowyouwantt hi
sasmuchasIwant"
I
swal
lowedhardbecauseiwastur
nedonI
cl
osedmyey esIj
ustsawLola.Ishov
edher
awayIgotup
me:
"ohist
hiswhatyouwant
edt
osleepwit
h
me?youarenot
hingbutat
ownbi
cycl
e"she
l
ookeddownembar
rassedIcl
i
ckedmyt
ongue
her
:"
let
'sworkoutourmarri
ageforgetabout
Lol
apleaseloveme"shekneel
edinfrontofmeI
wasshocked,whatki
ndofgirl
isshe?
me:
"t
omey oumeannothi
ngLol
awi
l
lal
way
sbe
mywif
eli
keitornot.
Iwal
kedtomyr oom ipackedmyeveryt
hingI
meanever
ythi
ngi wasleavingt
hehouseit
remi
ndedmeofmywi fe.
whenIr
eacheddownst
air
sfami
l
ywasback
mom: "Lwandlepeopledon'tgoson"mymom
wascr yi
ngbeggi ngmeIdi dn'
tutt
erawor dI
walkedout.Ibookedahot elIwasgoingtost
ay
thereunti
lIbuymysel fahouse.Iwasgl adI
didn'
trunaf amilybusi
nessbecausei fIdi
dI
wouldhav etomar rySi
weIwasgl adIchoose
whatIwant edtodo.Ihadmyowncar sandmy
owncarIwasgl adforthatbutmyl i
fewas
i
ncompl etewithoutmywi f
e
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

I
nser
t16

Lwandl
e

Iwasstay i
ngi
nahot el
,i
wasamesswi t
hout
mywi f
e.Shewasst ayi
ngwi t
hhersist
er, she
di
dn'twanttoseeme.Iwasdy i
nginside, I
missedhersomuch, Imissedevery
thi
ngabout
her,
herlaugh,
smil
e, ImissedhersomuchI
coul
dn'tli
vewit
houther.
Whatmakesmedy ingisknowi
ngthatshe
wantsnot
hingtodowi thme.Iwantedt ot
ell
hert
hatIl
ov eherandImov edoutofthehouse,
Iwantedt
ot el
lherIchosehernotmyf ami
ly.
Sot
hisdayIsawLol
ainar
est
aur
antwi
thher
sist
ertheyl
ookedhappyassoonasshesaw
meherf aci
alexpr
essionchanged,
Iwalkedup
tothem Iwasdesperatet
otalktoher
Me:"Lol
apl
easehearmeout
"shel
ookedather
si
ster
Lol
a:"
IthoughtImadeitcl
eart
hatIdon'
twant
tot
alktoyou"shelookedangr
y
Me:
"Ij
ustwantt
oexpl
aint
hati
sal
l
"
Amanda:"
Ihavet
ogo"shel
ookedatLol
aand
shenodded.
Isatdownl
ooki
ngather,
herey
eswer
enot
sparkl
i
nganymor
e
Me:"LolaIchooseyou,youaretheonlyperson
whomakesmecompl et
e.Idon'
tcareaboutmy
famil
yIfIcan'
thaveyouthenitmeansI'm dead.
BabypleaseIloveyou"shebli
nkedmanyt ime"
andIwantt obewithyouIevenmov edoutjust
tobewithyoupleasegivemeachancepl ease
mylove"shelookedatmesobbi ngshecouldn'
t
ut
teranywor
d
Me:"lookIknowI '
m notperfectbutIl
oveyouI
neverlovedsomeoneasmuchasIl oveyou,we
evengoandst artnewlif
ewher everyouwantus
togot heisnot
hingthatwillmakemehappy
thantowakeupnextt oy ou"shelookedatme
Lola:
"Lwandlepleasedon'
tmaket hi
sharder
thaniti
s, Iwon'
tcomebet weeny ouandyour
famil
yy esIlov
ey oubutIcan'
t"shedidn'
teven
l
ookatme
Me:"pl
easeLola"
Ibeggedhersheshookher
headandrushedout.Shel
eftmethereal
one.
Isatther
eheartbrokenIcouldn'tbel
ieveshe
didn'
twantmeany mor eIcouldn't
.Iwasmadat
myf amil
ythi
sistheirfault
,Iwentstrai
ghttomy
room icr
iedmysel ft
osl eep.
IwokeupIhadmanymissedcal
lsfrom a
numberIdi
dn'
tknowIdeci
dedtoitback
Me:
"hel
l
o"
Person:"Lwandlepl
easecomeI'
minhospi
tal
Lolatr
iedtokill
hersel
f"Idr
oppedt
hecal
lI
tookmyt hingsandlef
t.
Myhear
twasr
aci
ngIcoul
dn'
tl
oseherl
i
ket
his.
WhenIgott othehospi
tal
Amandawasther
e
cry
ingIrushedtoherassoonasshesawme
sherushedtomeIgav eherahug
Her
:"Ican'
tl
osemysi
sterLwandl
eIcan'
t"she
wascryi
ng
Me:"whatdi
dthedoctorsay?"Shejustshook
herhead.Webot hsatdownforsomet i
meI
waslosingpat
ience.Thedoctorcametouswe
stoodup.
Me:
"t
ell
meshei
sfi
nepl
ease"hel
ookedatme
Doc:"
sheisgoi
ngtobef ine"Isi
ghedi
nrel
i
ef"
butnowsheissti
l
l unconsci
ousandwearest
il
l
runni
ngsometests"
Amanda:
"canweseeher
"p
Doc:
"I
'm af
rai
dnotwear
est
il
lbusywi
thherand
shelostsomuchbloodsheisst i
l
lcri
ti
cal
soI
'
m
afr
aidyoucan'
tseehertodaypleasecome
backtomorr
ow"withthathelef
t.
Isatdowndefeatedwhatdoeshemeanwhen
hesaysshelostsomuchblood?Il
ookedat
Amanda
Me:
"whatdi
dshedo?
"
Her:"
IfoundherinabathtubIdon'
tknowwhat
shedidbutt hewasbloodther
e"shelooked
down"If ai
ledher"It
ookherinmyarmsI
brushedherback
Me:
"l
et'
shopeshewi
l
lbef
ine"
shenodded.
IwenthomeIneededmymom intimel
ike
thesesheknewwhatt
odo.Iwalkedi
nshe
j
umpedupwhenshesawmegi vingmewar m
hug
Mom:"ohmyson"sheki
ssedmycheek"
arey
ou
okayt
hough?
"Ishookmyhead
Dad:
"whati
sit
?"You'
vebeencr
yingwhati
s
goi
ngon?
"Il
ookedathi
m
Me:
"i
t'
sLol
a"
Dad:
"i
ssheokay
?"Hest
oodup
Me:
"shet
ri
edt
oki
l
lhersel
f"t
heygasped
Mom:"ohgodwhathav
ewedone"shesat
downcry
ing
Dad:
"t
hisi
sal
lmyf
aul
t"
hehadt
ear
s
Mom:
"howi
sshe?
"
Me:"
cri
ti
cal
"Isatnextt
omom shebr
ushedmy
back
Dad:i
fsomethi
nghappenst
oheri
t'
smyf
aul
t
I
'm sorr
yson"Inodded
Mom: "
ohmysweetLol a,
mydaughter"shewas
cr
ying"excuseme"shewentupst
air
s
Me:
"Ican'
tl
oseherdadIcan'
t"hehuggedme
Losingwasmeani ngl
osi
ngmyli
fetoo.Iam
nothingwi
thouthershemypi
l
larofst
rengt
h
[
06/
29,
10:
04]Ron:
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

I
nser
t17

Lwandl
e

Thefoll
owi
ngmorningi
wokeupwit
haheavy
headache,
iwentt
owashmyfaceandt
eet
h.
Iwal
keddownst
air
sMom wasbusypaci
ngup
anddownSiwewasmakingbr
eakf
ast,
dad,
uncl
eandauntwer
esit
ti
ngdownwith
worr
iedf
aces
Dad:
"cany
oust
opwhaty
ouar
edoi
ng"hewas
t
alki
ngwit
hmom
Mom:
"khandi
yeke"
Dad:
"ANDIKWAZKUCINGAMARN! !heshout
ed
mom justl
ookedathi
m andcont
inuingonwhat
shewasdoing
Me:
"mor
ning"
Mom:
"ohsweet
ie"shesai
dhuggi
ngme
Dad:
"howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
"
Me:
"ndi
yimessasy
ousee"
Dad:
"okwewer
ewai
ti
ngf
ory
oul
etsgo"
Siwe:
"whataboutbreakf
ast
?"Dadgav
ehera
deadstar
eshel ookedaway.
Whenwearr
ivedLol
a'
sfamil
ywasalr
eadyt
her
e
t
heysmi
ledassoonastheysawus
Amanda:"mom' sbl
oodmatchedwi
thLola'
swe
arewait
ingforhert
owakeup"wenoddedi was
rel
iev
edwest ayedt
heret
hewholedayshewas
notwakingup.
Ever
y onel
eftiwenttocheckuponheriwanted
hert
oknowi l
oveher.Wheni gott
oherroom
shelookedcute,tear
sfal
leddown
Me:"mybabypl
easewakeupwearenotmad
aty
ouweal l
missyou"i
hel
dherhand"welov
e
y
oupl
easedontl
eaveusim not
hingwithout
y
ouil
oveyouMarhadebewam"i chuckl
edat
t
hel
astpar
t.
Ir
ememberedwhenisai
dshedoesnthavea
cl
annameshesaid"ndi
nguMarhadebemna"i
l
aughedather.
Imissedev
ery
thi
ngaboutheri
missedl
aughi
ng
wit
hher.
Il
ookedathert
hinki
ngaboutt
heti
mei spent
wi
thher,t
hehappymoment sweshar
edi
missedki
ssi
ngherli
ps,
touchi
nghersexybody
.
Isi
ghedlooki
ngathershel
ookedpeacef
ull
yi
missedhersomuch   .
Lat
eri
wentt
othefamilyhousemom wasbusy
wit
hSi
wemakingsupper
Mom:"shei
sgoi
ngt
obef
ine"sheki
ssedmy
cheek
Me:
"ihopeso"
"Donthopesoknowso"itmyli
lsi
sterir
anto
herweembr acedeachot
her.
.imissedher(
her
nameLumi nathi
)
Lumi
:
"ohmnt
akamama"sheki
ssedmycheek
Me:
"imi
ssedy
ou"
Lumi
:
"im af
rai
didi
dnt
"ipl
ayf
ull
yhi
therar
m
Lumi:
"ij
ustwantt
oseeLol
anoty
ou"i
lookedat
hersmil
ing
Me:
"youwi
l
llov
eher
"
Lumi:
"mybrotheri
sinl
ove"shesai
dthatsi
ngi
ng
"il
oveheralr
eady"shewassobubbly
Me;
"howi
sAmer
ica?
"
Lumi
;
"bor
ing"
shesai
drol
l
ingherey
es
Mom: "
supperisready"weallwenttositi
nt he
di
ningroom ..Lumiwast el
li
ngusaboutherl i
fe
i
nAmer icaandallilookedatSiwesheseemed
happywhilemywi fewasf i
ghti
ngforherl
ife.i
l
ookeddownpl ay
ingwi t
hmyf ood
Lumi
:
"whati
seat
ingy
ou"shesai
dlooki
ngat
me
Me:
"not
hing"i
lookeddown
Lumi:
"okcutthecr
aptel
lmewhati
swr
ong?
"
Sheevenstoppedeat
ing
Me:
"it
snot
hingr
eal
l
y"i
fakedasmi
l
e
Lumi:
"Lol
aisgoingtobefi
neokay?"Inodded
"noweat"ichuckl
edicoul
dnteati
wasnot
hungr
y
Lumi:
"i
'
vebeenmeani
ngt
oaskdad"dadl
ooked
ather
Dad"
what
?"
Lumi:
"whati
sSi
westi
lldoi
nghere"auntgav
ea
deadstar
eshej
ustr
oll
edhereyes
Dad:
"Lumi
thi
sisnott
her
ightt
ime"
Lumi :
"dadSiwehast ogohowcany ouev
en
thinkofarr
angingLwandle'
smarr
iageagain
didntyouhurthim enough?
"
Mom:
"Lumi
"mom war
nedher
Lumi:"
nomom dontLumi mewhaty oudidis
wrongifyoudidi
ntdothi
sLolacouldbehere
eati
ngsupperwithusidontevenunderst
and
whyLwandl emusthav
et wiwiveswhi
leyall
haveonei hat
ewhatyoudid"shesouned
di
sappointed
Aunt
:"
youwontunder
stand"
Lumi"dontev
ent
alkt
omewenar
haay
ouar
e
not
hingbutawit
ch"
Dad:
"Lumi
"
Lumi:"
truthhur
tsiknow"shewasangr
y"you
arenothingbutacheaptownbi
cycl
e"shewas
l
ookingatSi we
Lumi:
"nowt hati
m backim notgoingtoall
owe
anycrap"shesai
dstandingup"imt i
redim of
f
tobed"shewalkedupstair
sleavi
ngeveryone
qui
et.
Si
wrcl
ear
edt
het
abl
elooki
ngl
i
keshei
sgoi
ng
t
obur
sti
ntear
s.
Iwasi
nbedwhenLumi
wal
kedi
n
Her
:"
youmi
ssher
?"shesai
dget
ti
ngnextt
ome
Me:
"youhav
enoi
dea"
Her
:"
shei
sbeaut
if
ulf
ory
ou"webot
hchuckl
ed
Me:
"if
ail
efherLumi
"
Her:
'
youdi
dntyoutri
edi knowandim sur
eshe
al
soknows"inodded..wecuddledeachother
.
Si
wegoti
nmyr
oom naked.
Siwe:
"heysexyt
hi-
"shedi
dntf
ini
shi
tshewas
shockedtoLumiinmyroom
Lumi
:
"yoursexyt
hing?
"Shel
ookeddown
Lumi;"
goandgetdr
essedy
ouar
enotsexy
"i
chuckl
ed
Siweranoutcr
yingil
ookedatLumishej
ust
shruggl
edwebot hwentt
osleep.
Nextmor
ningi
wokeupLumi
wasal
ready
dr
essed
Me:
"wherear
eyougoi
ngsoear
ly"i
sai
drubbi
ng
myeyes
Her
:"
toseemysi
steri
nlaw"i
lookedather
.
It
ookashowerwebothwentdownst
air
sSi
we
waswi
thhersui
tcase
Lumi
:
"fi
nal
l
ythehomewr
eckeri
sgoi
ng"
Aunt
:"
Siwepl
easedontl
eav
ewecanf
ixt
his"
Me:
"f
ixwhat
?"Ichuckl
ed
Aunt
:"
shei
syourwi
fe"
Lumi
:
"youmustbehi
gh"webot
hchuckl
ed
Me:
"Si
wey
oudi
dusaf
avor"
shel
ookeddown
Aunt
:"
Lwandl
esanal
am pl
ease"
Me:
"hay
ihay
i"
Mom:"
let
sgoguy siwanttoseemydaught
eri
n
l
aw"weallchuckl
edincl
udi
ngDad.
Wear
ri
vedAmandasawusshewal
kedt
ous
Me:
"howi
sshe"
Her:
"shei
sawake"i
smiledi
njoy"butshe
doesntwantt
oseeany
one"
Lumi
:
"bul
lwear
egoi
ngt
oseeherl
i
kei
tornot
.
Lumit
alkedwiththedoct
oriknowhow
manupulat
iveshecanbe..shewal
kedbackt
o
ussmil
ing
Lumi
:
"wecanseeher
"it
hankedher.
Wegotin,
inLol
aroom shewascryi
ngthe
minut
eshesawusshewi pedhert
earsand
l
ookedaway
Amanda:
"mntase"shehuggedher
"imi
ssed
yousomuch"shegav eAmandaaweaksmil
e
Lumi:
"ohmygodisthi
smysi st
eri
nlaw?"She
askedlooki
ngatmeinoddedshehuggedLola
Lumi:
"t
hixoy
ouaresobeaut
if
uli
cantwaitf
or
ustogoshoppi
ngohmygod"Lolal
aughed
Me:
"imi
ssedy
ou"shesmi
l
edl
ooki
ngatme
Lol
a:"
youarenotgoingtohugme? "Il
aughedi
wenttohugher..ev
eryonehuggedher.
Wewereall
happyt
oseeher,
welaughed
t
oget
her.
.iwassohappyt
ohavemywi f
eback
imi
ssedhersomuch.
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

I
nser
t18

Lol
a

AfterLwandle'
sf amilyl
eftiwasleftal
onei was
ti
redi deci
dedt orestasiwasr esti
ngigota
messagef rom unkownnumber" Iknowyouar e
awakei fyouthinkyouwont henthi
nkagainim
comi ngforyou"i wassol ostwhosentthis
messagebuti brushedmyt houghtsaway.
Iwokeupl
aterLwandl
e'
sAuntwassi
tt
ingnext
tomei wassoshockedtoseeher,sheseemed
l
ikeshewasfarawayinherthoughts,
shedidnt
evennoti
ceiwasawakei cl
osedmyey esagain
iwasscaredofher.
Minuteslat
erihear
danot
herpersonenter
ing
myr oom .Theywerewhi
sper
inganditwas
Si
we' svoi
ce.
Theyweret
alki
ngaboutki
l
li
ngmei wasso
scaredt
ear
swerestar
ti
ngtothr
eat
enicoul
dnt
breath.
Iwassuffocat
ed, i
want
edtoscream buti
coul
dntiwasscaredoft
hem .
..Theywere
seri
ousaboutkil
l
ingme.Thei
rconvowasl i
ke:
Aunt
:"
shemustdi
e"
Si
we:
"whatar
ewegoi
ngt
odot
hen?
"
Aunt
:"
idontknowbutwehav
eto"
Si
we:"
theki
ngcantknowoursecr et
"theywer
e
whi
speri
ngunawareiwaslist
ening.Theywere
di
stur
bedbymydoctortheyexcusedtheir
sel
ves
Doc:
"howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
"
Me:"i
m good"i
want
edt
ogohomeassoonas
possi
ble
Doc:"
okt
henim goi
ngtodi
sachar
giey
oui
n
coupl
eofday
"inodded.
Iwasplanni
ngtoescapeiwasnotr
eadyt
odi
e
event
houi al
mostkil
ledmysel
f.
NextdayLumi
camet
ovi
sit
.
Her
:"
mysi
steri
nlaw"
ismi
l
ed
Me:
"hey
"isai
dweak
Her
:"
whati
swr
ong?
"il
ookedaway"
youcant
alk
t
ome
Me:
"ev
ery
thi
ngi
swr
ong"i
sai
dlooki
ngdown
"HeyLol
a"i
twastheAunt.
.ishi
ver
diwasso
scar
ed.Ismi
ledweakl
y
Aunt
:"
im sor
ryforevery
thi
ngi
'
vedonet
oyou
andt
hefamily"inodded
Lumi:
"ev
eryt
hingisgoi
ngt
obefi
neokay
?"I
l
ookedatherAuntwhohadabi
gsmil
eonher
face.
Jesusir
egr
etedmyl
i
fe,
iregr
etedev
ery
thi
ng
aboutt
heLotchf
ami
l
y.
Theyl
eftl
ateron.
Iwassolosti
nmythought
sidi
dntev
enhear
Lwandl
ewalki
ngi
n
"
Hel
l
o"sai
dLwandl
esnappi
ngatmyf
ace
Me:
"i
m sor
ryi
mjustt
hinki
ng"i
sai
dsmi
l
ing
Hi
m:"
whatar
eyout
hinki
ngabout?
"Icoul
dntl
i
e
t
ohim
Me:
"i
tsy
ourAunt
"isai
dlooki
ngathi
m
Hi
m:"
whatdi
dshedonow?
"
Me:"
yester
dayshewasherewit
hSiwethey
wanttokil
lme"isai
dlooki
ngdown,hel
if
tedmy
chi
nifacedhim
Hi
m;"
iknow"i
lookedathi
m shocked
Me:
"how?
"Iwasconf
used
Him;
"ihear
dhertal
ki
ngonthephone"hewas
socal
m "nooneisgoingt
odoyouany t
hingmy
l
oveipromisey
ou"wehuggedeachother.
Hestayedt
il
ll
ate.IwasaloneawakewhenSi
we
ent
eredmyward. shewasshockedtoseemei
l
ookedathersmacking
Her:"
hey
"shefakedasmi l
eij
ustl
ookedather
blank"i
thoughtishoul
dcomeandseehow
youaredoi
ng"inodded
Me:
"asyouseei
mfi
ne"shedi
dntev
enl
ookat
meichuckl
ed
Her
:"
okthenl
etmego"i
noddedagai
n..she
wal
kedout.
Ishookmyhead.
Lat
eronamani
didntwal
kedi
nsi
demyr
oom
hesmil
ed
Him:
"dontmaket
hishardokay
?"i
lookedathi
m
conf
used"youwi
llbesafeipr
omise"iwant
ed
t
oscream buthehel
dmymout
hhei
nject
edme
i
passedout.
Iwokeupi nahouseididntev
enknowiwasso
scaredt
hinkingi
m goi
ngt odi
e.Lwandl
e
walkedi
ni jumpedupiwenttohughim.
Me:
"i
m gl
ady
ouar
eher
e"hesmi
l
ed
Him:"i
tol
dyoui
m goi
ngt
opr
otecty
ou"he
peckedmyli
ps
Me:
"wher
eam i
?"Iaskedl
ooki
ngar
ound
Hi
m:"
youar
esaf
eher
e"i
noddedsi
tt
ingdown
Me:
"t
hanky
ouf
orev
ery
thi
ngLwandl
e"
Hi
m:"
im doi
ngmyjobmywif
e"ibabyki
ssed
hi
m"Il
ov ey
oust
handwasam"
Me:
"il
ovey
out
ool
ove"wesmi
l
edateachot
her
Hi
m:"
im gl
ady
ouar
eher
ewi
thme"i
hugged
hi
m.
Imi
ssedhi
m somuch,
iwashappysohappyt
o
bewi
thhi
m.
Lumi
'
sPov

Nextmor ni
ngwewenttoseeLolabutshewas
notther
ewedidntknowwheresheis.We
askedforvi
deofoot
agewedidntseeanythi
ng
Dad:
"wher
ecanshebe?
"Hewassost
ressed
Mom:"
whatam i
goi
ngt
otel
lhermot
her
"she
wascr
ying.
Itr
iedtocal
lmybr
otherbuthesentmest
rai
ght
tovoicemai
l
.
Iwassowor ri
edaboutmysi sterespeci
all
ymy
mothershewasdepr essedshedi dntev
enwant
toeatanyt
hing.Iwassoscar ed.
I
tsbeenaweeknowwehadtol i
etoherfamily
wetoldt
hem t
heywentonavacati
on.Iwas
wal
kingi
ntownwhenibumpedtohersister
Her
:"
hey
"shesmi
l
edi
coul
dntl
ookher
"Lol
aissohappyshesentmeherpi
cs"i
looked
athershocked
Me;"
im gl
ad"i
fakedasmi
l
e"i
hav
etor
un"i
sai
drunni
ngtomycar.
WhenigothomeLwandl
ewassobbi
ngi
looked
athi
m shocked
Me:
"Lwandl
ewher
eisLol
a"heshr
uggl
ed
"Hersi
stersai
dshesenthery
ourpi
c"hel
ooked
atmeshocked
Hi
m:"idontknowwhaty
ouar
etal
ki
ngabout
"i
j
ustshookmyhead.
Somethingwasof
fmay besomeoneki
dnapped
herorsomethi
ngbuti
wasst i
l
lconf
usedit
di
dntmakeanysense.
WelastsawAuntythedayLolawaslastseen.
Maybeit
sherohmygodi knewitwasher.I
wenttomyparent
'sroom ,
mymom wascr yi
ng
andprayi
ngf
orLola.
Me:
"dadwher
eisAunt
y?"
heshookhi
shead
Me:
"whati
fshehasher
?"hel
ookedup
Dad:
"i
tmakessensedamn!
!t
hatwoman"
hewas
paci
ngupanddown.
Mymom wasget
ti
ngt
hinshewasnott
alki
ngt
o
any
one.
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

I
nser
t19

Lol
a

Iwasbusywit
hpotscookingdinnerformeand
Lwandl
e.Thi
ngsbetweenuswer enottheway
wewere.Idontknowheseemeddi st
ancedhe
al
wayscomelateornotatall
.
Iwasbusyhummingiwasi
nthemood,
Lwandl
egotinal
onehedi
dntevengreethe
wentst
rai
ghttot
hebedr
oom .Ishookmyhear
d
.
Hethencamedownstairsaf
tersometi
mehe
l
ookfresh,
helookedl
ikeheisgoing
somewhere.Ij
ustshutmymout h
Him;
"ihav
et obesomewher
e"i
noddedhe
qui
ckl
yleftnoki
ssnothi
ng.
Iwentt
otakearel
axingbath.Iwant
edt
ogo
homeimissedmysister.
Nextmor
ningiwokeupLwandl
edi
dntcomr
backt
heprevi
ousni
ght
.
I
twasfast
rat
ingme,
idontev
enknowi
hav
eto
donet
oLwandle.
Hewal kedin,
helookedatmei l
ookedaway
tear
swer efal
li
ngdown, hethenwentupstair
si
sankdownhear tbrokeniwantedtoaskhim but
mypr i
decouldntletme.Idecidedmay bei
ts
ti
mei gohome.Iwentupst ai
rsLwandlewas
l
ostinhisthoughtshewasst arri
ngthecei
li
ng,
hedidntevenhearmeget ti
ng.
It
ookmysui
tcasei
star
tedt
opackmyt
hings
Him:"
whatar
ey oudoi
ng?"ii
gnor
edhim "i
askedyouaquesti
on"ist
aredathi
m bl
ank
Me;
"i
m goi
nghome"i
sai
dsi
mpl
e
Hi
m:"
home?"Inodded"ar
ey ououtofy
our
mi
nddoyouwantt odi
e"i
sighed
Me:
"i
tsbett
ergoinghomet
hanst
ayi
ngher
e
wi
thyou"helooked
Him:"y
ouarenotgoingany
where".
.icl
osedmy
suit
case,
hest oodup"awuyi
ndawo"hesaid
taki
ngmysuitcase
Me:"goshidontknowwhati
'
vegot
tent
o"i
sai
d
t
hrowinghands
Hi
m:"
doy
ouwantt
oleav
eme"i
nodded.
Nextthi
ngiwaspi nnedinacornerhewas
suff
octi
ngme" youar enotgoi
ngany where
underst
and"hi
sv oicewasdeephel ookedso
scar
ry
Me:
"youar
ehur
ti
ngme"
 t
ear
sfl
owed
Him:"
y oudontwantt
oseemybadsi
deLola
donttastemypati
ence"i
wasnowcr
ying,
helet
goofme.
Iwassoangr
yathi
m
Me:"youaregoi
ngtokil
lmet oo?"Ichall
anged
helookedmewi thhal
fopenedey eshe
chuckled"goaheadki
llmey ouarenothingbut
anAssholeyoubustar
-ididntev
enf i
nishit
.
Heslappedmesohar
dthati
coul
dntseewel
l
,hegrabbedmebymyhai
rif
acedhi
m
Him:"
isai
ddontt
astemypati
ence"hel
ooked
melikehewasgoi
ngtoki
llmebuthewasso
cal
m
Me:
"ihat
eyou"
ispat
Him;
"sundiny
elaLol
a"hesai
dwal
ki
ng
downstai
rs.
Igotundercov
eri
cri
edmysel
ftosl
eep.
Iwokeupl
atermyheadwaspoundi
ng,
iwentt
o
washmyface.
Lwandl
ecamei
nwi
that
ray
.
Hi
m:"
iboughty
ouf
ood"
Me:
"i
m nothungr
y"i
sai
dgl
ari
ngathi
m
Hi
m;"
thatwasnotupf
ordi
scussi
on"
.
Hef
orcedmet
oeatheev
ent
hreat
enedme.
Nextmor
ingLuy
olocamet
ovi
sit,
Lwandl
ewas
nothome
Hi
m:"
hey
"hewasshy
Me:
"hel
l
oLwandl
eisnother
e"henodded
"
Caniaskyousomethi
ng?
"Henoddedagai
n"
whati
sgoi
ngonwithLwandl
e?"
Hi
m:"
whatdoy
oumean?
"Hewasconf
used
Me:
"hei
svi
olent
ly"hechuckl
ed
Him;
"hei
salwaysl
iket
hat
"il
ookedathim"wel
l
hecantl
ovebutwhati
knowi
sthatheloves
youheiscr
azyf
oryounineversawhi
ml ovi
nha
gir
lsowhati
m asayi
ngi
st r
ytolookt
hingsby
hissi
de"
Me:
"ist
il
ldontgeti
t"
Him:"
heshowedyouhisni
cesi
dehedoesnt
usual
lydot
hat"i
nodded
Him:"
letmegoi dontwanthimtof
indmeher
e
oriwil
lbedead"hesaidwalki
ngout
Idi
dntunder
standwhatLuy
olowassayi
ngi
meanLwandleusedtobesosweetyandal
lbut
nowheisamonst er
.
Butwhatdi
diexpecthei
sgangst
er
:
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

20-
shor
tsomet
hing

Lol
a
I
tsbeenweekssi
nceLwandl
echanged.
Iwasi
nthebedr
oom whenhewal
kedi
nlooki
ng
fr
esh.
Him:"
howdoi look?"Il
ookedathim, i
just
nodded"whatisyourprobl
em l
ola?Ishookmy
head"FUCKMARNLOLAI TSBEENWEEKSI
DONTFUCKENKNOW WHATI SWRONG, YOUR
ATITTUDECHANGEDFUCKENTELLME! !I
l
ookedathim scared
"
ITSYOULWANDLEDONTYOUGETIT,
YOU
ARETHEONEWITHBADATI
TTUDE"
hi
m:"
DONTYOUDARESHOUTMELOLA"
Me:"
FVCKYOULWANDLEYOUARENOTHING
BUTANASSHOLEYOUAREHEARTLESD
BUSTARD"
.
Hepinnedmeinacornerhepunchedmyfacei
fel
ldownhegrabbedmebymyhai rhepunched
meagain,hewasabouttopunchmymeagai n
butiscr
eamedhelookedatmebeforewalki
ng
out
.
Igotundercov
eri
cri
edmysel
ftosl
eep.
Iwokeupl aterfeeli
ngawful.Ihear
danoise
comingdownst airs.Godwhati sawinev
er
wantt oseeitagainitwasamanhewas
rougheduphehadbl oodeverywhere,
idi
dnt
knowhi m orwhathedi dbutnoonedeserve
that.
Man:
"youhav
easexywifether
e"hesai
d
l
ooki
ngatme, t
heyal
ll
ookedatme.
Mylegsfai
ledme, myheartwasraci
ng,my
headwaspounding.Iwantedtor
unbuti
coul
dnt.Iwastooshockedtoseethat
Lwandl
ecametomehewalkedmetoour
bedr
oom goshi
wassot
raumati
sed
"I
m sorr
yy ouhadtowit
nessthat"hesaidt
hat
worri
edilookedathi
m .Tear
swer erol
l
ing
down.
"howdoy
ousl
eepatni
ghtknowi
ngy
ouki
l
l
peopl
ewheny
out
oo?
"
"
Dontbul
lshi
tme"ilookeddown"dontmake
medothi
ngsidontwanttodo"hesai
dthat
wal
ki
ngout.
Iwassoscar
edofmyhusbandidi
dntt
rusthi
m
ar
oundmeany mor
e.Iwentt
otakeabath.
Myl
if
ewasslowl
yfadi
ngi
lostmymani
lost
mysweet
estman.
Iwenttocooksuppert
her
ewereguysidi
dnt
knowi gr
eet
edtheniwentst
rai
ghtt
othe
ki
tchen,ist
art
edtomakesupper
"Mhhsomet
hingsmel
l
sgood"i
tur
nedt
olook
att
heguy
"
Youl
ookgood"i
nodded
"
Whathappenedt
oyourf
ace?
"
"
Not
hing"
isai
dquei
tl
y
"
Itdoesntl
ookl
i
kenot
hing"
hesai
dlooki
ngat
me
"Shesaidi
tsnot
hing"sai
dLwandl
elooki
ng
pissed
"Nowgett
hehel
loutofher
e"hesai
dlooki
ngat
him,t
heguyr
ushedout
"Youar
efl
i
rti
ngi
nmyhouse"i
justl
ookedat
him
"
DAMMATANSWERMELOLA!
!"Ij
umpedal
i
ttl
e
i
wassoscar
ed
Me:
"i
m notf
li
rt
ing"i
sai
dsobbi
ng
"
Ilov
eyou"i
lookedathi
m sur
pri
sedhej
ust
wi
nkedandwalkedout.
Iwasscaredofhim oneminutehei
scalm next
heisangryidi
dntunderst
andhimim sur
ehe
al
sodidntunderst
andhim sel
f.
I
'vebeensi
cksoi
deci
dedt
ogoandseea
doct
or.
Icamehomestressediwaspregnantagaini
wassoscaredwhatifil
osemychildagain.I
wasthi
nki
ngofterminat
ingt
hebabyi wasdo
angryatmysel
f.Iwasnotr
eadyt
ohaveachi
l
d
especi
all
ynowthati
knowhowLwandl
eis.
"
Arey
ouokay
"askedLwandl
eki
ssi
ngmynosr
Me:
"iwi
bef
ine"
Hi
m:"
what
swr
ong"
Me:
"ev
ery
thi
ngi
swr
ong"
Hi
m:"
whatdoy oumean?
"heaskedl
ooki
ngi
n
myeyes.Tear
sweldup
Me:
"i
tsy
ouandt
hebaby
"isai
dlooki
ngdown
Hi
m:"
baby
?"Il
ookedaway
Igotundercoveri
gnor
inghi
m .Myl
i
fewas
perf
ectnotlongagobutnow  .
"
Babyyouhavetoacceptthatwel
ostourchi
l
d"
i
justcr
iedt
il
lif
ell
asleep.
Iwokeupi
nmidnighti
wal
kedupst
air
s
Lwandl
ewast
herehewasl
ostinhi
sthought
s
Me:
"whyar
eyouupsol
ate"hel
ookedatme
Hi
m;"icoul
dntsl
eep"inoddedisatnextt
ohi
mi
l
ookedupthinki
ngaboutwhatshouldido.
Hi
m:"somethi
ngi
swr
ongandi
wantt
oknow
whatisi
t"
Me:
"i
m gr
egnant"i
saidlooki
ngatmeicouldnt
r
eadhisf
aci
alexpresshestar
edatmeblank.
Iranupstai
rsicri
edmaybeLwandl
eisnot
readytobeaf at
her.Whati
sli
fe?Whati
sthe
meaningoflif
e?Thosequet
ionswer
eroaming
i
nmymi nd.
[
06/
29,
10:
07]Ron:
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

i
nser
t21

Lol
a

Iwokeupthef
oll
owingmorni
ngwit
haheav
y
headache,
Iwentt
obathr
oom Idi
dmy
busi
ness.
Iwentdownstai
rsIwaswel
comedbyrot
ten
egg,Lwandl
ewasbusymakingbr
eakf
ast.
Me:"
youreggsar
erot
ten"
Isai
dcov
eri
ngmy
nose
hi
m:"t
heyarenot
"hesai
dchuckl
i
ng.Iwantedt
o
pukeIqui
ckl
yrantot
hebat
hroom Iv
omited
"
arey
ouokay
?"sai
dLwandl
ewal
ki
ngi
n,Ir
inse
mymout
h
me:
"Ishoul
dbef
ine"webot
hwentdownst
air
s
hi
m:"
whatdoy
ouwantf
orbr
eakf
ast
"
me:"peanutbutt
ersandwi
ch"henoddedsmil
ing,
hemadei t.Iwasbusychewi ngi
t,i
ttast
ed
del
icious,
Iev encl
osemyey eswhenItooka
bi
te
hi
m:"sowhendi
dyouf
ound?
"heasked
me:
"yest
erday
"
hi
m:"
I'
m goi
ngt
obeaf
ather
"hesai
dexci
ted,
he
huggedmeki
ssi
ngmyf
ace
"
daddy
'sl
i
ttl
eboy
"hesai
dbr
ushi
ngmyt
ummy
"
whosai
dit
'saboy
?"Il
ookedathi
m
"
Icanf
eel
it"
hewasal
lsmi
l
es,
Ishookmyhead
"I
'
m sor
ryLol
aforever
ythi
ngI
'
vedonet
oyou"
hesai
dkneel
ingdown
"whydi
dyoudoi
twhatchanged?
"hel
ooked
down
"
Idon'
tknowt
oobutI
'
m sor
ry"Inodded
hi
m:"
canIbehonestwi
thy
ou?
"Inoddedagai
n
hi
m:"
wel
lLol
aI'
m nott
heper
sony
out
hinki
am"
me:
"t
henwhoar
eyou"
him:"
I'
m notthesweet
estpersonyouthi
nkIam,
i
twasal lanactIwant
edy ousobad,Iknew
youwouldn'twantmeifIshowedyoumyt r
ue
color
s"IwasstunnedIlookedhi
m buthe
l
ookeddown
me:
"wow"t
hat
'sal
lIcoul
dIsay
hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ry"hedidn'
tmakeey
econt
actwi
th
mehewasembar rassed
me:
"i
t'
sfi
ne"Isai
dsi
mpl
e
hi
m:"
thanky
ou,
mydadsummonedus"
Me:
"what
'swr
ong?
"
hi
m:"
Idon'
tknow"
me:"
butLwandlehowcanIgot
her
ewhi
l
ethey
t
hinkim ki
dnapped"
hi
m:"don'
tyouthi
nkit'
sti
met
heyknowy
ou
werenotki
dnapped?
"
me:
"Iguessiti
s, l
etmegoandt akeabat
h"I
r
ushedupstair
s,Idi
dmybusinessgoshItook
myti
me,Lwandlewassoannoy ed
"LOLAWEARERUNNI
NGLATE"hesai
d
downst
air
s
"
IM COMI
NG"Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
owear
.
whenIgotdownst
airshelef
tmebehi
nd,I
si
ghed,
Itookmythingsanddrov
etohi
shome.
whenIgotther
eever
yonewashappyt
oseeme
especi
all
yLumi.
Lumi:
"ohI
'm gl
adyouareher
eohmygodwho
ki
dnappedyou?"Il
ookedathi
sbr
other
"Lwandl
ehowcanyouki
dnapy
ourownwi
fe"
saidLwandl
e'
smot
herangr
y
"
Iwasonl
ypr
otect
inghermom "hesai
dcal
m
"
prot
ect
ingherf
rom who"askedLumi
"Auntwasplanni
ngtoki
ll
her,soIt
houghti
shouldbeatheri
nherowngame"hesaid
l
ookingdown
Lumi:
"I
m gl
adyoutookcar
eofmysi
steri
n-l
aw"
shesai
dsit
ti
ngnexttome
dad:
"I
'm pr
oudofy
oumyboy"
hesai
dsmi
l
ing
Lwandle:
"sowhyar
eweher
e?"
heasked
i
mpatient
ly
mom:"
Lol
awearesorr
yforal
lthet
hingswe
hav
edonetoy
ou"Inodded
dad:
"Si
wei
spr
egnant
"Ichoked,
theyal
ll
ooked
atme
Lumi:"
areyouokay
?"If
akedasmi
l
e,myhear
t
raced,Ifel
tnumb
Dad:
"Si
weispregnantmybr
other
'schi
l
d"I
si
ghedinr
eli
ef
mom: "
andt
heywant edtopini
ttoLwandl
e"wel
l
thenewswereshockingbutIwasgl
aditwas
notmyhusband
Lumi:
"unbeli
evabl
e,souncl
eimpr
egnat
edSi
we?
"herf
athernodded
dad:
"t
hati
snotal
l
"
mom:
"Si
weisAunt
'
sdaught
er"Iwasshocked,
wowt
hisfami
l
yamazemeev er
yday
Lwandle:
"howist
hatpossi
ble?ImeantheLast
ti
meIcheckedAunthadnochi l
d"hewas
surpr
isedtoo
mom:
"t
hat
'swhatwet
houghtt
oo"
,
"hehaket
hixowhoa"sai
dLumi
clappi
ngher
hands
Lwandle:
"Ihav
enewst
oo"hel
ookedatme
smil
ing
mom:
"whati
sit
?isev
ery
thi
ngokay
?"Inodded
Lwandl
e:"
wear
epr
egnant
"hesmi
l
ed
"aah!
!oMTIKA,MAZALENI,
OYARHA,
NTW'EZINTLENOB'ABAPHETH'
IZIKHALI
'AAH!!
AMAJWARHA" sai
dLwandl
e'sf
ather'
spr
aisi
ng
hisancest
ors
"
HALALAHALALAHALALA"
sai
dLwandl
e'
s
mom danci
ng
"OhmygodI'm sohappyf
ory
ouguy
s"sai
d
Lumihuggi
ngme
dad:
"I'
m pr
oudofyousony
ouar
etr
ulyaman"
Lwandl
ewassmili
ng
mom:
"I
'm pr
oudofy
ouLol
a"Ismi
l
ed
Lumi
:
"atl
eastwehadgoodnewst
oday
"we
chat
ted,
laughi
ngmor
eli
kecat
chi
ngup.Lat
er
wewenthome.
Lwandl
ewasmassagi
ngmyf
eet
s.
me:
"wehadf
unt
oday
"
hi
m:"
yeahI
'
m sohappy
"
me:
"youshouldbe"hel
ookedatme,hestar
ted
t
oti
ckleme, boyIwaslaughi
ngmyassout
"
Lwandl
est
op"Isai
dbet
weenmyl
augh
"
sayLwandl
eishot
testmanonear
th"
"
I'
m notal
i
ar"
"
wel
lthenbemyguest
"Iwasnowscr
eami
ng
"Lwandleisthehottestmanoneart
h"he
stoppedlookingatme, t
earswefal
l
ing,
wegot
dist
urbedbymyr i
ngingphonei
twasAmanda
Me:
"mi
ssi
ngme?
"Isai
dpi
cki
ngupt
hephone
her
:"
Lolay
ouhav
etocomehomei
t'
sur
gent
"we
sni
ff
ing
me:"
isever
ythi
ngokay
?whyar
esni
ff
ing?
"I
pani
cked
her
:"
comehome"shehungedup,
ilooked
Lwandl
elost
hi
m:"
whatisgoi
ngon?
"Ishr
ugged"
youl
ook
l
ostwhat
sup"
me:"
it
sAmandashesaysI
'm mustgohomei
t'
s
ur
gentandshei
ssni
ff
ing"
him:"
doyouwantmet odri
veyou"Inodded.I
wenttochangei
ncomf ort
abl
eclothes,
then
Lwandledr
ovemehome, whenwegott her
e
ther
ewerefewcarsparkedout
side.
myheartst
oppedf
orami
nut
e,myheadwas
spi
nni
ng.
whenwegotinsi
demymother
'sf
amilywas
t
here,mygrandmawassobbi
ngsi
tt
ingdowni
n
asponge,
me:
"whati
sgoingonher
e?"Amandacamet
o
meshehuggedmewepul l
edout
"
cansomeoneanswermepl
ease"Isai
d
i
mpati
ent
ly
"comeandsitwi
thmemychild"sai
dgrandma
patt
ingaspaceforme,
Iwenttositnextt
oher,
shecoul
dn'tl
ookmeatmeinsteadshecri
ed
more
Her
:"
Ican'
tdot
hisIcan'
t"
me:"
can'
tdowhatgogo?andwher
emymom ?
"
i
t'
sli
keIwaspressi
ngher
her
:"
Shedi
dn'
tmakei
tsi
si"Iwasl
ost
me:"shedi
dn'tmakewhat
?"Il
ookedatAmanda
butshelookedaway
gogo:
"shedi
edl
astni
ght"shesai
dlooki
ng
away
me:
"di
ed?whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?"
her
:"
I'
m sor
rysisi
"IlookedatLwandl
e,hegav
e
measy mpatheti
clook.
"
NO!
!NO!
!NONO!
!!
!!
!!
!!
!!
!!
"I
scr
eamed       .
Grannyt
ookmei nherarms, shewasbr ushing
myback, Iwascry
ingsil
entl
y.Ibrokeoutofher
embraceIrantomymom r oom, t
hinki
ngt hey
madeami stakei
nsteadIwaswelcomedby
bl
oodinherbed,Ishookmyheadi ndenial,
"nonotmymom no"Isankdownhear
t
broken   .Iwasr ocki
ngmysel
f
backandfor
th 
"babyareyouokay
"SaidLwandl
ewal
ki
ngi
n,he
satnexttomebrushi
ngmyback
"
whyLwandle?
whyher
?"Lwandl
ehuggedmeI
wassobbi
ng.
"
Lwandlecanyougiveusami
nute"sai
d
Amanda,Lwandl
enoddedheki
ssedmy
for
eheadandwalkedout
.
"
I'
m sor
rymnt
ase"shewassobbi
ngt
oo
"
whyManda?
why
?"Isai
dlooki
ngatherf
ace
"
Iwi
shIhadanswer
sbutIdon'
t"shel
ooked
down
"WhymustIalway
slosepeopl
eIl
ove?
"she
brushedmyback
"hei
sgoingt
opayf
orwhathedi
d"It
urnedt
o
l
ookather
"
whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?"shel
ookedaway
"
heki
l
ledherLol
a"
"
whoki
l
ledwho?
"Iwassol
ost
"
yourst
epf
athershor
ther
"myey
espoppedout
.
Ididn'
tbel
i
eveit
,howcanhekil
lsomeonehe
clai
msheloves?hetookherawayfr
om us,
he
tookheraway.
"Iwantmymom AmandaIwanther
"shewas
cryi
ngtoo  .
Lat
ert
hatdaywewer
esi
tt
ingwi
thGr
andma.
Gr
anny
:"i
twi
l
lpassmychi
l
dren"Isi
ghed
me:
"whydi
dheki
l
lher
?"t
ear
swer
oll
i
ngdown
Granny:"
thati
swhatIwantt
oknowt
oomy
chil
dren"shesighed
me:
"wher
eisJaden?
"Amandal
ookedatgogo
Granny
:"y
oudi
dn'
ttel
lher
?"Amandashookher
head
me:
"t
ell
mewhat
?"
Aunt:
"hewasshortt
oo"(
Auntasmymot
her
's
si
ster
)Igaspedshock
me:"
No,No,
Nopl
easet
ell
mey
ouar
e
ki
ddi
ng"
  
Amanda:"
heisnotdeadhei
sinhospi
tal
"I
si
ghedrel
iev
edIwipedawaymytears
Gr
anny
:"I
'
m sor
rymychi
l
dren"wenodded.
LaterIwenthomeIcoul dn'tst
aywi thmyf amily,
Icouldn'
tstayinthathousei tremindedmemy
mot her.Imissedhersomuch, Ididn'tsay
goodby etoher,howcansomeonebesocr uel,
howcanheki l
lmymot her .Imissedev er
ything
abouther.whymustIl osebot hpar ents?Ist i
l
l
neededher.
Lwandl
e:"
I'
m sor
rysweet
ie"
me:
"Iwantt
osl
eep"henodded.

Thef
oll
owingdayIwentt
ovisi
tmybr
other
,he
wasawake,hesmil
edweakl
y.
me:
"howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
"
hi
m:"
Iwi
l
lbef
inenoneedt
ost
ress"Ichuckl
ed
me:"
Ihavet
oyouar
emyonl
ybr
other
"webot
h
l
aughed
hi
m:"
youar
egl
owi
ng"Ismi
l
ed
me:"
whatcanIsaywheny
ouar
egoi
ngt
obe
uncl
e"
hi
m:"
ohboyIcan'
twai
t,congr
atul
ati
onssi
s"
me:
"getwel
lsoonbr
o"hechuckl
edagai
n
him:"
howismom doing?"Il
ookedawaytears
fal
luncont
rol
l
abl
e,Ididn'
tknowhowtotellhi
m
"
Lol
aIaskedy ouaquest
ion"hesai
dlooki
ngat
me,Isatnexttohi
m sni
ff
ing
"I
'
m sor
ryJadenshedi
dn'
tmake"Isai
dlooki
ng
down.
hel
ookedawaytearsf
all
i
ngi
nhi
sface,he
l
ookedhur
t,i
thurtsmetomybr
otherl
i
kethat
.
"Iwantt
obealoneLol
a"hesai
dsobbi
ngI
noddedIki
ssedhi
scheekandwal
kedout.
Isati
nmycart
hinki
ngaboutmy
mom   myl ifewassl
owl
ydr
owni
ng.

OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

I
nser
t22

Lol
a
Thepai niwasinwasunbear abl
e.Thepainof
l
osingapar ent,t
hepainofknowingy ouwil
l
neverseethem again,t
hepai
ny oufeelwhen
youlookaty oursibl
i
ngs,t
hepainyouf eel
when
youthinkofmemor i
esyoushared,thepainof
pai
n.
Tearswer
eformi
ngstr
eams,f
ormingr
iver
s,
for
mingoceans,
for
mingev
ery
thi
ng.
Sunshi
nearayofhope,
ari
seandhi
demy
shadowandmakemehappyagain.
Myhappi
ness,
mypri
de,
myhope,
myst
regnt
h
wast
akenawayfr
om me.
Thehar
dshipihadt
oface,t
heobstacl
es,
the
sl
opesweretomuch,wer
eov ermypower
.
Ihadquesti
onsicoul
dntanswer,iwanted
answers,iwant
edtodie,icoul
dntbarethe
pain,iwasscar
ed,ihadnohope, idi
dntwant
tofaceghost
s,iwasindenial
.
Thepai
nofl
osi
ngbot
hpar
ent
swast
oomuch,
fami
lyandf
ri
endstriedt
oshowmelove,hope
buti
twasnotenough.IwantedmyDaddyand
Mommy.Ineededt hem .
Iwasindeepthought
sidi
dnthearat
hingmy
fami
lydi
sscused
"Lol
a"Amandasnappedherf
inger
s,i
looked
her
"
Sorr
y,whatwereyousay
ing"shel
ooked
wor
ri
ed,idontbl
ameherthough
"
Wear esel
l
ingt
hehouse"saidmyuncl
e,i
l
ookedatAmandasheshruggled
"whyuncl
e"i
askedconf
used
"
Becausewehav
eto"sai
dAunt
"butyouhavenosayinthi
shouse,thi
sismy
parent
shousenotyour
s"isai
dpissed
"
Wewer
enotaski
ngy
ou"sai
duncl
e
"
Thisi
sal
lwehave,thi
sisourhome,thi
sis
whatmypar
ent
slef
tforus"saidJadenangry
"Nooneissel
li
nht
hisendofdi
scussi
on!
?i
stompedout.
Iwassopissed,mymom wasnotev
enaweek
bur
iedal
ltheycar
eaboutwast
hehouse.
IgothomeLwandl
ewassl
eepi
nthel
ounge,
i
si
ghed.
Iwenttotakeahotshower,iworemyblack
shotdress,
mystomuchwasnowv i
sibl
e,iwent
downtair
sLwandl
ewasst i
ll
sleepi
ng.
Iwenttositnexttohim, i
shookhi m,he
groaned,ipeckedhisli
ps, heslowl
yopened
hi
sey essmili
ng,hesatupst rai
ghtr
ubbi
nghis
eyes.
Hi
m:"
heyl
ovewhendi
dyougother
e?"
Me;
"aboutanhourago"i
rest
edmyheadback
Hi
m:"hadabadday
?"Inoddedl
ett
ingal
oud
si
gh
Hi
m;"
imi
ssedy
ou"i
eyedhi
m
Me:
"iknowandi
m sor
ry"hehel
dmyhands
Hi
m: "
it
snotyourf
aul
tlov
e"hekissedmy
f
oreheadir
estedmyheadinhi
schest.
Me:
"howhav
eyoubeenhol
dingup?
"Hesi
ghed
Him:"goodapartf
rom thepartofmissi
ngmy
wife"ismil
ed.Imissedhimt oo,imissed
everythi
ngabouther.Butihadtosortmyl i
fe
fi
rstandsortmyfamilyissues.
Me:
"i
m sot
ir
ed"hechuckl
ed
Hi
m:"
babewehav
etot
alk"i
satupl
ooki
ngat
hi
m
Me:
"whati
sit
?"
Him:
"it
hinkitst
imey
oust
opwor
king"i
looked
athi
m confused
Me:
"why
?"
Him:"
babeim onl
ylookingoutforyou,lookat
yourl
if
enow, yourecentl
ylostyourmom and
youarest
il
lnothealedandy ouarepregnant,
l
ov ei
twontbal
anceandwedontwantl
oseour
baby"hehadapointt
houghi
twastoomuch
foroneper
son
Me:"
iguessy
our
ight"hesmi
l
edki
ssi
ngmy
nose
Hi
m:"
im al
way
sri
ght
"iey
edhi
m,hechuckl
ed.
Ireci
evedamessagef
rom t
hisnumberi
didnt
recogni
sedsay
ing

"heyLolaiheardaboutyourmom i
m sorr
y,i
m
backintowni missedyousomuchandi l
ove
youithurt
s.Itri
edt ost
ayawayf
rom youbuti
coul
dnt,ihopewemeetsoon

XxxChaceXxx"
Idr
oppedmyphonei
nshock,
ist
ooduppaci
ng
upanddown.
Lwandl
ewassoconfused
It
hinkher
eadt
hemessagehel
ookedatme
wi
thhal
fopenedey
es.
Hi
m:"whoisChace?"Ist
oppedi
lookedathi
m.
Mymindwasnott her
e,myheartwasraci
ng,
t
earsfal
l
eddown
"IASKEDYOUADAMNQUESTI ONLOLA!Sai d
Lwandlef
uri
ousl
y.Il
ookedathim abi
tscared,
isatdownipat
tedaspacef
orhim, hesatnext
tome
Me:
"i
m scar
edLwandl
e"i
sai
dlooki
ngdowni
wasnowcryi
ng
Hi
m:"whatisi
tLol
a?"Helookedworri
ed.I
st
oodupi wentt
olockt
hedoor, cl
osethe
wi
ndows
Lwandl
e:"
Lol
awhati
sgoi
ngon?
"Il
ookedat
hi
m
Me:"whati
fhei
sher
e?Whati
fNo!No!
!!
"I
sankeddown
Hi
m:"
babyt
alkt
ome"
hesatnextt
ome
Me:
"hei
sher
etoki
l
lme"i
wassoscar
ed
Him:"who?"Ir
ushedupst
air
sicl
osedthe
curt
ins, i
satontopoft
hebedcryi
ngand
shi
vering  
"Lol
ayouscar
ingmet
alkt
omemyl
ove"he
wascry
ingt
oo
Me:"
herapedmeLwandl
eandact
edl
i
ke
not
hinghappened"
Hi
m:"whor
apedy
oubaby
?"
Me"
:Chace,heisher
etodest
royme"i
shool
myheadlooki
ngatLwandl
e
Hi
m:"
im sor
ryl
ove"i
lookedathi
m
Me: "doyouknowt hepai
nihadtogot hrough?
Het ookmyv i
rgi
nit
yLwandl
ei wasonl y
sixteen     hewal kedfree
l
ikehedi dnothingwrong"isai
dclosingmy
eyes"i m sorr
yinevert
oldy
oubef orei
under st
andifyoudontwantmei m nothingbut
ar apevicti
m"   hehuggedme
Hi
m:"
babyi
dontcar
eaboutt
hati
lov
eyoumy
babyi
wil
lnev
erl
eav
eyou"hebr
ushedmyback
Me;
"whydi
dhecomeback ?
Why?  "
Him:
"i
m her
ebabyheisgoi
ngtopayf
orwhat
hedi
dtoyou"hesai
dlooki
ngi
nmyeyes.

Lwandl
e

Ther'snothinghurti
ngmel iketoseemywife
hurtandscar ed.Shewassoscar ed,
she
couldntsleepthatnighthegotamessagef r
om
thi
sChaceguy .Shedidntleavethehouse,
she
wasdepr essedi hadtofindthi
sguyandkil
lhim
.Noonewoul dhurtmywi feandgetawaywith
i
t.
Sothisdayi wascomi nghomei headanoise
cominginsideirushedinsi
de,Lolawas
scr
eami ng,wheni gotthereiwasshockedand
dumpf oundedforami nute.
Amanwasf orci
nghimsel
fonmywi f
einmy
house.Irushedtothi
sguyit
hrewafew
punchesbutluckl
yhegotaway,hewasluckyi
di
dnthavemygunwi t
hme.
IwenttoLolaherni
ghtdr
esswasri
pped,she
hadbruises,
shethr
ewhersel
ftomeihugged
her,
shewassocr yi
ngandscar
ed,iwenttoget
hetwater
Me:"i
m her
ebabyhewontdoanyt
hing"she
coul
dntsayanyt
hingmyhear
tbr
okeinto
peaces 
Lat
eri
hadt
odr
ugher,
shecoul
dntsl
eep.
It
ookmyphonrandcal
l
edLuh.
Hi
m;"
myboy
"hesai
dchuckl
i
ng
Me:
"i
m aboutt
oki
l
lsomeone"i
wassopi
ssed
Hi
m:"
what
supman"hesoundedf
ocused
Me:"
whenigothomeif
oundt
hatdogfor
cing
hi
mselfonmywifei
nmyhouseLuyol
o"isai
d
angr
y
Hi
m:"
whi
chdog?
"
Me:
"Chace"
Luh;
"sendmehispi
ctur
eiwi
lll
ookforhi
mt hen
wewi l
lbot
hki
ll
him noonet
ouchesmylilsi
ster
andgetawaywithi
t"
Me:
"iwanthi
m al
i
veLuh"
Hi
m;"
yougotmeman,Lol
aisl
ikeali
tt
lesi
ster
t
omenoonewill
hur
therwhil
eim al
iv
e"
Me:
"youar
ebestman"
Hi
m:"
howi
sshedoi
ng?
"
Me:
"ihadt
odr
ughermanshei
sscar
ed"
Hi
m:"st
aywi
thhermanandl
etmedot
her
est
"i
si
ghed
Me:"
youar
ethebestman"wesai
dour
goodby
es.
OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age
I
nser
t23

Lol
a

Iwassodepr essedandhurt,mylif
ewas
miserabl
e.Theonl ythi
ngiwasfeeli
ngwas
pain.Whathav eidonetodeser
vethisl
ife?
,dontideser
vehappiness,dontideser
vejoy.
Chacer ui
nedmyl i
fe.Het ookmyv i
rgini
ty,
my
pride.Iwasonl ysixteenthen, andhewas25.I
trustedChacewi thmyl if
e, hewasmynei ghbor
alsomybi gbr other.Weusedt ochil
ltogether
heknewev erythingaboutme, healway s
protectedme.Mypar entst ookhim ast heir
ownsonbecausehewassosweetandal l
.So
thisdayi waschi ll
ingwi t
hhi m, chati
ngabout
random t hings.Thenhest art
edt oaski fihave
anyboy fr
iendsorsomet hing, yesihada
boy f
riendt hattimesoheadv icedmet ouse
protectionandal lthatstuff, iwasgr atefulfor
hisprotectivesi de.Soi twasr ainingi was
comi ngfrom school ,wechi l
l
edathi shouse
thenhest ar tedt ot ouchmeher eandt herebuti
i
gnor edhimt hi nkingi mi magi ningt hings.That
i
swhenhest ar tedt okisshi m, iwasshockedi
pushedhi m awayst unnedt henheconf essed
hisfeeli
ngf orme, itoldhi m mi nei wasonl y
sixt
eenobv iousl yi didntfeel any thingf orhim,
helostitther ehepr essedmei nacor ner,he
coveredmymout handt iredmyhands, he
start
edenj oy inghi ssel fonme, mov ingback
andf ort
hhewasev enmour ning, afterhi s
roundshet ookmet oadumpsi teanddumped
met hereaf terst r
angl i
ngmyneck.Hel eftme
therethinkingi m dead, icrawl edhome.My
parentswer eshoked, wegothi m ar rest edbut
hedidntst ayf orlongnotev ent woweeks.
Afterthathedi sappear edwenev erhear dof
him.

Iwassoscar
edt
hatChacecameback,
he
wantedtorapemeagain.Heevencameinmy
ownhouseandt ri
edtodoi
tagai
n.Idi
dntfeel
safei
nmyhouse.Myhusbandwasso
supporti
veandprot
ecti
ngmeandiwasglad
thatihavesomeonewhocar
esaboutme.
Sot hisdayiwasinmybedsl eepingwheni
heardmyl owerstomuchhur t
ingandst uff,buti
i
gnor editandstar
tedtohur tmor ei gotup
checkingifidonthaveanybl oodi nsteadi saw
urine,iwasshocked, iheardashar ppai nfrom
myback, iscr
eamedandf elldown, myback
bonef el
tli
keitwassepar ati
ngi nt
ot wo, isaw
bloodingflowi
ngbetweenmyl egs, iscreamed
forhelp,Lwandlerushedi n,inpanick
Him:"whatiswrong?"Iscr
eamedmor e,hesaw
blood"shithangonbabyy ouwil
lbealr
ight
"he
tookmet ohospital
,whengotthereiwas
quickl
yattended.
Iwokeupwithali
ghtheadachenoonewasin
ther
oom ,
ilookedatmystomuchprayi
ngto
godtosav emychil
dlucklyhedid,iwasgladi
di
dntloseit.Thedoorfl
ingilookedupandsaw
Chace, i
start
edshi
veri
ng, t
earswer ef
all
i
ng
downi cl
osedmyey esinfear.
Hi
m:"mi
ssedme? "Hesaidki
ssi
ngmychin,
i
wi
ncedi
lookedathim hewassmil
i
ngl
ikean
i
diot
Him:"whereisy ourmantosav ey
ounow? "He
saidthatchuckling,hewassoscaryandugl y"
l
ookpr i
ncess"hesaidtouchi
ngmyf ace"y ou
belongt omeonl ymemyl ov
enoonewoul d
takey ouawayf rom me"hesaidthatlaughing,
iclosedmyey esandhuggedmybody
"ilov
ey ouLolawhycantyouseethat
?"hesai
d
thatwhisperi
ngi
nmyear"y ouaremylifemy
l
ifeLola"tear
swerer
unningdown
"Lookwhoishere"saidLwandlecl
osi
ngt he
door,iopenedmyey eshelookedsopissed
Lwandle:
"iseeyoul
ovehermanbutmy
quest
ionisforhowl
ong?"Chacel
ookedatme
t
henbackatLwandl
e
Chace:
"ev
enyousuper
mancantt
akemyLol
a
awayfr
om me"hespat
Lwandle:
"ial
readydi
d"hechuckl
ed"whose
chi
ldisshepregnantnow"Chacelookedatme
angry
Chace:
"THI
SISMYWOMAN!
!"Heshout
ed.
Lwandle:
"notany
moremymanshei smi
nenow
onlymine"hewassocal
m andi
tkil
l
edChace,
thedooropenedonl
ytoseeLuy
oloandChr
is
"l
ookwhochoset
ojoi
nust
oday
"sai
dLuy
olo
smil
i
ng
Chri
s:
"ohihavebeenprayi
ngfort
hisdayt
o
come"hesaidlooki
ngatLuyol
o
Luh:
"ohmymany ourpr
ayershasbeen
answered"t
heybothl
aughedcausi
ngmet
o
smil
e
Chri
s:
"ohChacemybabyi'
vebeenl
ooki
ngf
or
you"hesai
dbrushi
ngChace'
sface
Luh:"i
m sureChri
syouguy
sgoi
ngt
ohav
ea
steamylovesessi
on"
Chri
s:
"youhav
enoi
deaman"heki
ssedhi
s
for
ehead
Luh:"
dontyouhav esomethingtosaytoLola
befor
ey ouleaveimeani t
sy ourl
astdayseei
ng
herbeauti
fulface"Lwandl
echuckled
Lwandle:
"youmeanhislastdayal
iv
e"t
heyal
l
l
aughed,Chacelookedhorri
fi
edandhewas
shi
ver
ing
Luh:
"saysomet
hing"hel
ookedatChace
Chace:
"Lol
athi
sisnotov
er"i
closedmyey
es
Chr
is:
"howcomewheny
ouar
egoi
ngt
odi
e?"
Luh:"idonthavethewholeday"het ooka
needlefrom hi
spocket,heslowlyinj
ect
ed
Chacewhowasscr eamingforhelp,t
hedoctor
rushedin,helookedshockedwhenhesaw
whatwashappeni ng,hereachedforhis
cell
phonetocallsecur
it
iesbutLuhsnatchedit
andl
ookedathi
m,Lwandl
ecl
osedt
hedoor
.
Chri
s:
"youseedocyoudontwantt
ogetatt
he
wrongsideofme"
Doc:
"i
m goi
ngt
ogety
ouar
rest
ed"Luhl
aughed
Luh:
"andi
m goi
ngt
ogety
ouki
l
led"
Si
ba:"
andi
wontmi ndki
ll
i
nghimitsnotl
i
kei
t
wi
llbemyfi
rstt
ime"doccoughed
Lwandle:
"l
ookmanwhatyousawhereyou
neversawitokay
?"Docnoddedi
nfear
Luh:"
andmani suggesty
oubet
heonewho
takesthi
sbodytomycar"
Siba:"
andwat chuswhatwedot opeoplewho
betrayus"theyfi
stbumped.Theyforcedt
he
doctortoremov ethebodyaf
tert
hatidont
knowwhathappened.
Lwandl
ecamebackwi
thLumi
andAmanda.
Lumi
;
"im gl
ady
ouar
eokay
"shesai
dhuggi
nh
me
Amanda:"
im happyheywhathappened?
"Iey
es
Lwandl
e
Lwandle:
"shet
ri
ppedf
rom st
air
s"hesai
d
br
ushingmyhair
Amanda:
"i
m happyify
ouareokay?"
ilookedat
hert
ummyandt henatherbutshel
ookedaway
Me:"
wherei
smyni eceManda?
"Tear
sfal
l
ed
downfr
om hercheeks
Lumi
:
"Lwandl
egi
veusami
nut
e"
Lwandle:
"hayboi
m heretoseemywoman
Lumi"hesaidfol
dinghi
sarms
Lumi
:
"im notpl
ayi
ngLwandl
e"
Lwandl
e:"
Im notgoi
nganywher
e"hesai
d
get
ti
ngnexttomeshowi ngt
hem hei
sgoing
nowher
e.
Amanda:"
weshoul
dgivethem spaceLumi
"she
sai
dki
ssingmynose"wewi l
ltalk"she
whi
speredsmi
li
ng,inoddedtheyleft.
Lwandl
e:"
yazi
Lumi
hasaner
ve"i
lookedathi
m
Me;"
somuchdr
amaLwandl
e"heki
ssedmy
f
orehead
Him:"iwantt
obewit
hmywi f
eisthatacr
ime?
"
Ichuckl
edsnucki
ngmybodytohi
s
Me;
"whati
sgoi
ngt
ohappent
oChace?
"He
l
ookedatme
Him:
"hedeser
vest
odi
emyl
ove"hel
ooked
downatme
Me:
"i
mjustgl
adt
hisi
sov
er"
Hi
m:"
iwi
l
lal
way
spr
otecty
oumyl
ove"i
smi
l
ed
"
Sorryt
hebedismadeonl
yforoneper
son"we
t
urnedtoseeafemal
enur
se
Lwandl
e:"
whoaskedy
ou?
"Ichuckl
ed
Nur
se:
"si
rit
s-"
Lwandle:
"nooneaskedyousopleasedowhat
youarepayedtodoandleavemeki ssi
ngmy
wif
e"hesaidthatki
ssi
ngme, t
henur sewal
ked
out
Me:
"di
dyouhadt
o?"Heshr
uggl
ed
Hi
m:"
ilov
eyouLol
a"hel
ookeddeepi
nmyey
es
Me:"il
oveyout
ooLwandl
e"ki
ssedmynoseand
squeezedmeint
oahug.
Thefol
lowi
ngmorningi
wenthomei
wasgl
adi
neverl
i
kedhospi
tal
s.
Lwandl
e:"
myl
ovei
sbackhome"hesai
d
spi
nni
ngme
Me:
"mi
ssedme?
"Hechuckl
ed
Him:
"dontf
ool
yoursel
f"i
fol
dmyar
mssul
ki
ng,
heki
ssedmyli
ps
Hi
m:"imi
ssedyoumybaby
"weki
ssedi
tfel
tso
r
ealandpassi
onat
e
"bhuti
wher-
"ilookedwher
ethevoi
cewas
comingfr
om ,
itwasanolderwoman
Lwandl
e:"ohsorr
ycomejoi
nus"hesai
d
wrappi
nghisarmsaroundmywai
ste
Womam:
"mol
omadam "i
nodded
Lwandl
e:"
sweet
yt hi
sismadl
omoshewi
l
lbe
ourhel
perfr
om nowon"inodded
Me:
"i
tsni
cet
omeety
ouMah"weshookhands
Her
:"
it
sni
cet
omeety
ouMadam"
Me:
"pl
easecal
lmeLol
a"shesmi
l
ed
Lwandle:
"Madl
omonooneent
ersourroom not
thati
mt r
yingt
ober
udeorsomethi
ng"she
nodded
Her
:"
iunder
stand"
Lwandl
e:"Lol
awi
l
lcl
eani
thersel
f"i
lookedat
hi
m
Me:"sayssowho?"Hej ustkissedf
orehead
headingtothedoor"ihav esomebusinessto
takecare"hesaidrushingout
Madlomo:
"wantsomet
hingt
odr
ink?
"ishookmy
head
Me:
"not
hanksi
wil
lbei
nupst
air
simt
ir
ed"she
smi
l
ed,
iwentupst
air
s.

Lwandl
e

Wheni gott
othewarehousemyboy swer
e
al
readyther
e,Chacewasroughedup.
Me:
"Chacet
heman"hel
ookedatme
Chace:
"imt
heonewhotookhervi
rgi
nit
y"i
l
ookedathi
m wit
hhal
fopenedey
eshewas
pi
ssingmeoff
.
Me:"andsomeoneisabouttobreakyours"
he
l
ookedatmewi thwideopenedey es,i
looked
atSibaandnodded,hewentouthecameback
withtwobigmuscularmanitwasmyol d
fr
iendsThaboandTukela
Tukel
a:"
hel
ookssexy
"hel
i
ckedhi
sli
ps
Me:
"andhei
sst
il
lav
irgi
n"t
heyl
aughed
Thabo:
"ohhandi
m goodatbr
eaki
ngt
hem"
Me:"heisall
yours"hewentout,weheard
scr
eams, wechuckledandiwenthome.Iwas
goi
ngt otort
ueChacef ordaysandthenki
l
lhi
m
aft
er.Noonesmesseswi thmywifeandget
awaywi t
hitnoone.

Mylov
iesl
etmel
augh
f
ir
st        
         .
Iwasjailedforanight
,ist
abbedthebastard
whokilledmyni ece,i
couldnthel
pitguysihad
to.Im sorryi'
vebeenMiaony outhi
ngsare
hardonmysi deli
kebad.Iwontposttil
lfr
iday
i
m sorryguy s.

OurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

I
nser
t24
Lol
a

Iwasnowsi xmonthspregnant,Il
ookedli
kea
pi
g  Iwasf atandhor moneswer e
pl
ayingwi
thmebadl y.Mylif
ewasatl east
st
able,It
ri
edbyallmeanst ocopeaf t
erthe
dramaChacecaused.Iwentf orather
apy,Iwas
sl
owlygett
ingbet
terihadLwandl ebymysi de.
Amanda' schil
dwaswi thherf at
her,
shehada
babygi r
l.Shewasdepr essedbecausetheman
mani pul
atedandblackmailedher.Lwandlewas
sti
llworkingonhowt ogetAmanda' schi
ld,
Luyolowassosuppor tiv
e,Imeanwhyhe
wouldn'twhenheisherboy f
ri
end.Iwas
shockedt ootohearthenewsbutwhoam It o
standintheirwaytheyweresoi nlov
e and
theylookedadorable.
Lumiwassecret
lydat
ingChr
is,
shedidn'
twant
Lwandl
etofi
ndout,wewereallscar
edofwhat
hemightdo.
Sothi
sdayIwaschil
l
ingwi
thmysi
steri
n-l
aw
andherboy
fri
end,
wewereinmyhouse.
Lumi
:
"youl
ookf
at"shegi
ggl
ed
ouch!
! t
hati
showIwasIsot
ouchyandal
l
Chr
is:
"youl
ookbeaut
if
ul"hegl
aredatLumi
Me:
"thanky
ou"If
akedasmi
l
e
Lumi:
"sowhenarewepr
epar
ingy
our
weddi
ng?"Isi
ghed
Me:
"whatweddi
ng?
"Il
eanedbacki
nmychai
r
Lumi
:"whenar
eyout
woget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed?
"I
gi
ggl
ed
Chr
is:
"It
houghty
ouwer
emar
ri
edal
ready
"I
l
ookedathi
m
Me:
"t
hati
swhatIt
houghtt
oo"
IlookedatLumi
Lumi:
"Imeanyourwhi
teweddi
ng"shesai
d
rol
l
ingherbi
geyes
Me:
"Ihav
en'tt
houghtabouti
t"shel
ookedat
mewithherbi
geyespoppedout
Lumi:
"youarekiddi
ngri
ght?"Ishookmyhead
"wel
lthenyoushouldstar
tthi
nkabouti
t"I
l
aughedlookingather
Me:
"haveyoupl
annedy
our
s?"Shegl
aredatme,
Chr
ischuckl
ed
Lumi
:"t
hati
snotf
unny
"shesai
dfol
dingher
arms
Me:
"I
'm nott
ryi
ngt
obet
oo"shel
ookedatChr
is
t
henatme
Chri
s:
"don'tmi
ndher,i
t'
sherhormonest
hey
ar
eplayingwit
hher"Il
aughedl
ooki
ngatChr
is
Lumi
:"onaseriousnotewhenar
eyouget
ti
ng
marr
ied?"Isi
ghedloudly
Me:"asyousai
ditI'
mfatsoIguessi
twi
l
lbe
af
terI'
vegi
venbir
th"
Lumi:
"nonsenseyouwi
l
lst
il
ll
ookbeaut
if
ul"I
si
ghedinfrustr
ati
on
Me:
"youseeI'
vebeendr
eami
ngongett
ing
mar
ri
edinwint
erandwit
hmyflatst
omach"
Chr
is:
"buty
oust
il
ll
ookgood"Isi
ghedl
ooki
ng
away
"Youwil
lalwaysl
ookBeaut
if
ulmylove"
sai
d
Lwandl
ekissi
ngmycheeksit
ti
ngnexttome
Lumi:
"pl
easeconvi
nceherIwantt
oor
gani
ze
ever
ythi
ng"Il
ookedather
Lwandl
e:"i
sity
ourweddi
ngorLol
a'
s?"Lumi
rol
l
edhereyes
Lumi
:
"what
ever
"
Lwandle:"r
olly
oureyesallyouwantbutdon'
t
forgeti
canslapyouruglyfacewhileyouar
e
sit
tingt
here"Lumiquickl
yfixedherface
Me:"
wherear
eyoucomi
ngf
rom?
"Il
ookedat
Lwandl
e
Lwandl
e:"Iwaswi
thLuy
olo"Inodded
Lumi
:
"soLwandl
ewheni
stheweddi
ngday
?"
Lwandl
e:"
it
'suptomywi
fe"Lumi
lookedatme
wit
hpleadi
ngeyes
Me;
"okf
ineLumi
Iwi
l
lthi
nkabouti
t"she
smi
l
ed
Lumi :
"babedi
dy ou-"shedi
dn'
tfini
shthe
sentenceshelookedatLwandlewhor ai
sedhi
s
eyebrows"Im. me..
meanChr i
s"shelookedat
meIl ookedaway
Lwandle:"whatareyousay
ingLumi?"Weal
l
keptquiet,
helookedatmeIlookeddown
"DAMMATI M TALKI
NGTOYOU"heshout ed
Me:"I
'mthi
rst
yIwillgetmysel
fsomewat
er"I
sai
dtryi
ngtostandupbutLwandl
ehel
dmy
hand
Lwandl
e:"y
ouar enotgoi
nganywhere,youwi
l
l
tel
lmeexactl
ywhatisgoingon"IsatdownI
l
ookedatLumi whowasabouttocr y
Chr
is:
"lookman"hescr
atchedhi
shead
Lwandl
e:"I
'
mlooki
ng"Iwaspani
cki
ng
Me:"lookLwandlei
twasnotmypl
acet
otel
l
you"Ilookeddown
Lwandl
e:"t
ell
meal
ready
"
Me:
"Lumi
"shel
ookedaway
Lwandl
e:"FUCKENTELLMELUMI
"her
oar
ed
Lumi:
"I'
m sor
rybhut
i"t
ear
sfal
l
eddownf
rom
hercheeks
Lwandl
e:"I
'
m notgoi
ngt
oasky
ouagai
n"he
warned
Lumi:
"iminarel
ati
onshi
pwit
hChr
is"Icl
osed
myey esI
nfear,
Iwasnotsur
ewhatwould
happen
Lwandle:
"soyouarefucki
ngmysi st
ernow? "
HelookedatChri
s,Chri
slookeddown,Lwandle
chuckl
edstandi
ngup"Ineedsomeai r"hesai
d
walki
ngout.Isi
ghedinrel
ief
Lumi
:
"Lol
apl
easet
alkt
ohi
m "shebegged
Me:
"Iwi
l
ltr
y"shenodded
Chr
is:
"letmegoIdon'
thi
mtofindmeher
e
whenhecomesbackIdon'
tknowwhatwi
ll
happent
ome"Inodded,
hel
eftIwaswi
thLumi
.
Lumi:
"Il
ovehi
m Lol
awi
thal
lmyhear
t"shewas
sobbi
ng
Me:
"I'
m sor
ryIwi
l
ltr
yandt
alkt
ohi
m"
Lumi:"Lolaihadt ogoov erseasbecauseIknew
Lwandl ewoul dn'
tletustobet oget
her,
doy ou
thi
nkhowt hatwas?Ihadt oleavemy
parents,myhomej ustbecauseofLwandle"she
wasnowcr ying,Ibrushedherback
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryLumi
"Iwascr
yingt
oo
Lumi:"Il
eftLola,Ilef
thim Icouldn'
tstayhere
knowingIcan'thavehim "Icoul dn'
timagine
whatshewasgoi ngthrough,Imeanshel i
kes
theguyalot, Lwandlewasabi tunfai
r,Lumiis
oldtoknowwhati sgoodf orher.
Lateriwasalonecryi
ngIdon'tknowwhyIwas
cry
ingbutIfeltl
i
ket o,IwascravingSpurwings
.Wi ngsweremyf avori
teatt
hatmoment .
Lwandlewalkedinlookingabitt
ipsy,hepassed
meIsni
ff
edmore,
hewal
kedbackt
owher
eI
wasst
andi
ng.
Hi
m:"whyar
eyoucr
ying?
"Il
ookeddown
Me:
"younegl
ect
edme"Isatdownsobbi
ng
Hi
m:"andy
oukeptasecr
etf
rom me"Isobbed
more
Me:"y
oudon'
tlov
emeany more"Ist
oodupI
wenttost
andbythebal
cony
Hi
m:"Il
ovey
ouLol
a"
Me:"y
oudon'
t,
youl
eftmet
hewhol
eday"
I
sobbed
Hi
m:"I
'
m sor
rykemyl
ove"Il
ookedathi
m
Me:
"Iwantwi
ngs"hel
ookedatmei
ndi
sbel
i
ef
Him:"ohIdon'tl
oveyoujustbecauseyouwant
wings?YouwillbefatLol
a"Irushedupst
air
s,I
gotundercoversandfacedthewall,
hecameto
si
tnexttome
Hi
m:"
Lol
awhati
sit
?Hewasi
rr
it
ated
Me:
"yousadI
'
mfat"hegr
oaned
Hi
m:"okIwi
l
lgety
ouWi
ngshappy
?"Ismi
l
ed
Me:
"happy
"heshookhi
sheadandwal
kedout.
Iwokeupt henextdayf eelingdownandIhada
l
ightf ever, Iwenttotakeashoweri woremy
Adidasj oggerpant s,andmybl ackvestand
sleepers,Iwal keddownst airs,
Lwandlewas
sitt
ingint hekitchencount erMadlomowas
maki ngbr eakfast.
Me:
"mor
ning"Isai
dsi
tt
ingdown
Madl
omo:
"youdon'
tl
ookgood"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lbef
ineIdon'
tfeel
ok"shenodded
Madl
omo:
"Iwi
l
lmakey
ouacof
fee"
Me:"
noI'
m cr
avi
ngsWi
ngs"Il
ookeddown,
Lwandl
echuckl
ed
Lwandl
e:"l
astni
ghtIboughtyouWingsbut
whenIgothereyouwerealr
eadyasleep"I
l
ookedathim
Me:
"youat
ethem?
"Isai
dtear
y
Lwandl
e:"
noIdi
dn'
ttheyareinthemi
crowav
e"I
smil
ed,
Iwenttowarmt hem .
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"Isai
dbi
ti
ngt
hem
Lwandl
e:"sowhenwer
eyoupl
anni
ngt
otel
l
me?"Helookedatme
Me:
"itwasnotmypl
aceLwandl
e"hechuckl
ed
Lwandl
e:"Idon'
tbel
i
evet
his"
Me:"doy
ouknowwhyLumi lef
tthecount
ry"he
shookhi
shead"hel
eftbecauseofyou"
Hi
m:"me?
"Hel
ookedshocked
Me:"
yessheleftbecausesheknewy
ou
woul
dn'tl
ethertodateChris"
Him:"soshel
eftbecauseshel
ovesChr
is"I
nodded
Me:"y
essheloveshim Lwandl
e,shewasscar
ed
ofyoulett
hem betheyareadul
tsnow"he
si
ghed
Him:
"youdon'
tknowChri
sthewayIdo,Idon'
t
wanttoseemysist
erhur
tbecauseofhi
m "he
pour
edhimsel
fawhisky
Me:
"Iknowbutl
ett
hem"hel
ookedatme
Hi
m:"Ican'
tLol
a"heshookedhi
shead
Me:"
Lwandl
ewhostoodi
nyourwaywheny
ou
wantedme?
"hel
ookedup
Madl
omo:"Lwandl
e,Lol
aisrightyoucan'
t
st
andiny
oursist
erswayletherbe"
Lwandle:
"Ican'
tMaIcan'
t"webot
hshooked
ourheads
Me:
"Igi
veup"Isai
dgoi
ngout
side.
"Imissmysi
stersomuchithur
ts"itwasa
messagefr
om Jaden,Isi
ghedplacingmy
phonedown.
Lwandl
e:"whenar
eweset
ti
ngst
hedat
eofour
bi
gday?"Ismil
ed
Me:
"Idon'
tknowi
fI'
mready
"
Hi
m:"
readyf
orwhat
?"Isi
ghed
Me:"I
'
mfatLwandl
eil
ookl
i
keahi
ppo"he
br
ushedmytummy
Him:"
noy ouar
enotmylove,youareso
beaut
iful
"Ismi
ledpecki
nghi
slips
Me:"t
hankyou"Ihear
dashar
ppai
nfr
om my
back,
Iscr
eamed
Lwandl
e:"
whati
sgoi
ngon?
"Iscr
eamedagai
n
Me:"myback!
!aahh!
!"Hecar
ri
edmei
nsi
det
he
house
Lwandl
e:"
whatdoIdo?
"
Me:"
placemedown"hedi
d,It
ookal
ongdeep
br
eath,If
eltokay.
Lwandl
e:"
youdon'
twantmet
ocal
lthedoct
or?
"
Me:"y
escal
lhi
m "Il
ayedback,
Lwandl
egota
phonecal
l.
Hi
m:"what
?!!
"
Cal
l
er:
".
."
Hi
m:"
issheokay?
"
Cal
l
er:
Hi
m:"
I'
m comi
ngr
ightnow"hehungedup
Me:
"whati
sit
?"Isai
dshi
ft
ing
Hi
m:"
Lumi
tri
edt
oki
l
lhersel
f"Isi
ghed
Me:
"i
ssheokay
?"Henodded
Hi
m: "
letmegoIwil
lseey
oul at
er"Inoddedhe
ki
ssedmycheekthenhelef
t.
Thedoct
orar
ri
vedi
twasdocLesl
ey.
Doc:
"Mr
sLot
ch"Ismi
l
ed
Me:
"heydoc"hesmi
l
edback
Doc:
"whatseemedt
obet
hepr
obl
em?
"
Me:
"myback,
ithur
tsal
otl
atel
y"hechuckl
ed
Doc:"
thatmeansy ouar
eunfitandyouar
enot
heal
thy"Ilookeddown"y ouneedtoexci
seand
eathealt
hy "Inodded
Me:
"okdoct
or"Isi
ghed
Doc:"
anotherthi
ngasIsaidbeforeyouwill
face
alotofchall
engesespeci
all
yinyourstage,you
needtorestandnostress"Inodded
Me:"
I'
m wil
li
ngt
odoanythingdoc"hesmi
l
ed,
heexaminedmethenheleft
.
Lwandl
ecameback.
Me:
"howi
sshe?
"
Hi
m:"
shei
sfi
ne,
thi
sal
lmyf
aul
t"
Me:"i
tis"hel
ookedatme"okI'm sor
rybuti
tis
yourf
ault
"hechuckl
edandki
ssedmyt ummy
Him:"Il
oveyoul
oveandI'
m wil
l
ingt oshow
howmuchy oumeantome"Ismi l
ed"youmean
theworl
dtomewi t
houty
ouI'm nothi
ng"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oobabe"Il
ayedi
nhi
schest
.

FOurAr
rangedMar
ri
age

I
nser
t25
FI
NALE

Iwasnowni nemonthspregnanti
was
organisi
ngmywedding.Myt ummywassobi
g
andi wasst
ill
beaut
if
ulasalways.

Iwaswit
hAmandaandLumiwewer
e
di
scussi
ngt
heweddi
ngtheme.
Me:
"idontknowwhi
chcol
orst
ochoose"
.
Isi
ghedf
rast
rat
ed.
Lumi
;
"Howaboutwhi
teandor
ange".
Amandadi
sagr
eed.
Manda:
"iwast
hinki
ngaboutwhi
teandpur
ple.
Igotupiwentt
ost
andbyt
hebal
cony
,iwas
str
essed.
Iwasev
ent
hinki
ngofcancel
i
ngt
heweddi
ng.
Manda:
"Lol
adontst
ressaboutt
his".
Shebr
ushedmyback.
Me:
"ineedt
orest
"isai
dgoi
ngupst
air
s.
Ev
ery
thi
ngwasj
ustamess.
"
Mybeaut
if
ulwi
fe"sai
dLwandl
esi
tt
ingnextt
o
me.
Me:
"ever
ythi
ngi
sadi
sast
erLwandl
e"hehel
d
myhands.
Hi
m:"
ever
ythi
ngi
sgoi
ngt
obef
ine"
Me:"
when?Thedat
eisar
oundt
hecor
ner
Lwandl
e".
Henods
Him:
"iknowwewi
l
lgett
hrought
hist
oget
her
okay
?".
Inodded.
Lateritooktheweddingmagazines,iwentto
thestudyiwantedt obealone.Il
ookedthrough
themagazi netr
yingtogetsomeideas.
Fi
nal
l
y!!Igotwhatiwaslooki
ngf
or.
idr
if
ted
ev
ery
thingiwanteddown.
Thefol
lowi
ngdaywewenttot
hedecor
ator
,i
tol
dhim ev
ery
thi
ngi
wanted.
Decor
:"
ever
ythi
ngwi
l
lbeper
fect".
Ismi
l
ed.
Me:
"i
tsgoi
ngt
obeabeachweddi
ng"
.
Henoddedsmi
l
ing.
Lumi:
"makesureev
erythi
ngisi
nor
derwedont
wantanymist
akesplease"
.
Manda:
"beachweddi
ngr
emembert
hat
".
Ismi
l
ed.
Me:
"t
het
hemei
sWhi
teandBl
ue"
.
Decor
:"
iwi
l
lmakeev
ery
thi
ngper
fect"i
nodded.
Lumi:"
youbet
terormybr
otherwi
l
lki
l
lyou"we
chuckl
ed.
Me:
"andy
oudo-
".
Iwascutof
fbysomet
hinghotbet
weenmyl
egs
.
Il
ookeddownmywat
erbr
oke.Ipani
cked
l
ooki
ngatLumi
.
Me:
"MYWATERBROKE!
!"i
shout
ed.
Lumi:
"okhangoni
wil
lcal
lLwandl
enow"i
nodded.
Iscr
eamedsqueezi
ngAmanda'
shand.
Me:"
getmetot
hehospi
tal
now!
!"Iwasnow
br
eathi
ngi
nandout.
"
AhhhaAmandathebabyi
.Iscomi
ngn.
n.now"
i
screamedmor
e.
Lumi:
"okwewi l
lgetyounow,Lwandl
ewill
meet
usthere"t
heyhelpedmetogettothecar"
.
"AAAAAHHHHHHAAA!!!
!!
!!
!Hur
rypl
ease"t
he
painwasunbear
abl
e.
Iwasbr
eat
hingheav
lyi
washol
dingmyback.
Wegott
othehospi
tal
thenur
seshel
pedmet
o
mywar
d.
Nur
se:
"i
tsnott
het
imey
et"i
lookedather
.
Me:
"AREYOUCRAZYI
MINPAI
N"i
shout
ed
Nurse:
"iknowbutwehav
emor
ehour
stowai
t
f
or".
Icl
osedmyey
es.
"Babyar
eyouokay
?"Sai
dLwandl
ehol
dingmy
hand.
Me:
"IHATEYOUGETOUOFHERE,WHYDI
D
YOUGETMEPREGNANTAAHH!!
!".
Hesqueezedmyhand
Him:"
wewil
lbef
inebabyokay
?"i
kepton
scr
eaming.
Doct
orwal
kedi
nfol
l
wedbyNur
ses.
Doc;
"i
tst
ime"i
nodded"Nowopeny
ourl
egsa
l
it
tl
ewider
".
Idi
dwhati
wast
oldt
odo.
Doc:"okt
akeadeepbr
eat
heandpush"i
pushedhard.
Me:"
icantdot
hisno"i
lay
edbackt
ear
swer
e
nowfall
i
ng.
Lwandl
e:"
yesy
oucanbaby"henodded.
Me:"
noicantdot
his,
noi
Ahhha!
!"Ipushed
agai
n.
Doc:
"onemor
epusht
henwear
edone"
.
Inoddeditookanotherbr
eath."
Okin3,2,
1
PUSH"Ipushedharderthi
stime.Icol
l
apsed
backclosi
ngmyey es.Idi
dnthearmybaby
cry
ing.
Isatupst
rai
ght
.
Me:"whyi
smybabynotcr
ying?
"Ipani
cked
cr
ying.
Doc:
"iwi
ll
trymybest
"hesai
dwal
ki
ngoutwi
th
mychil
d.
Me:
"IWANTMYCHI
LDLWANDLE"I
SCREAMED.
Hi
m:"shhbaby
"ir
ockedmysel
fbackandf
ort
h.
Aft
ersomet
imedocwal
kedwi
tht
hechi
l
dinhi
s
hands.
Ismi
l
ed.
Doc:
"Shei
ssaf
eandheal
th".
Tear
sfal
l
edoutofj
oy.Hehandedmemychi
l
d.
Me:
"heyNanai
tsmemommy"shewasso
smal
l.
Icoul
dnthol
dmyt
ear
sback  .
Lwandl
e:"
heyt
her
eit
sDaddy
"heki
ssedher
.
Me:
"i
tsagi
rlLwandl
e"henoddedsmi
l
ing.
Lwandl
e:"
Hlal
umi
Lot
ch"i
lookedathi
m.
Me:"
nicename"i
tickl
edhershewassocut
e
andbeauti
ful
.
"
Heyl
ookwhoisf
inal
l
yher
e"sai
dLumi
wal
ki
ng
wi
tht
hefami
l
y.
Lwandl
e:"
it
sagi
rl
"Lumi
squeel
ed.
Dad:
"i
m pr
oudofLol
a".
Ismi
l
ed
Jaden:
"uncl
e'sl
i
ttl
epr
incess"hesai
dthat
ki
ssingher.
I
twasnowthedaybefor
ethewedding.We
wentf
orf
oodtast
ingandfi
tt
ingandall
.
Latert
hatdayiwaswi
thHl
alumishewastwo
weeksold.Iwasput
ti
nghertosl
eepshewas
tr
ouble.
Me:"
Hlal
umikamama, momyl
ovesy
oudear
"i
ki
ssedherf
orehead.
Il
ayedhert
ohercot
.
"Nowwehaveasurpri
sef
ory
ou"sai
dLumi
draggi
ngmetohercar
.
Me:
"noi
cantl
eav
emydaught
eral
one"she
smi
l
ed.
Her
:"
dontwor
ryshei
snotal
one"i
nodded.
Wewentt
oherhouseshewasst
ayi
ngwi
th
Chr
is.
"SUPRISE!
!!
!!
!!
!!
!!
!!
!!
!!
!!
!!
!!
!!
"itwasapar
tyi
shookedmyheadsmi li
ng.
Me:
"ser
iousl
yLumi
?"Shesmi
rked.
Wepar
ti
edsohar
d.
"Wakeuowear
elat
e"i
groanedt
urni
ngt
othe
othersi
de.
"
LOLAWAKEUP"Igotupangr
y.
Me:
"noneedt
oshout
"isai
dpl
aci
ngmyhandi
n
myhead.
Lumi
:
"wear
elat
eal
ready
".
Iwentt
otakequi
ckshower
.
Wheniret
urnedmymakeupar
ti
stwasr
eady
f
oract
ion.
Her:
"youar
egoi
ngt
obebeaut
if
ulmydear
"isat
down.
Shedi
dhermagi
c,i
sty
ledmyhai
rinaneatbun
sur
roundedwi
thbl
ueandwhi
tebeads.
Manda:
"comeonLol
awear
elat
e"i
rol
l
edmy
ey
es.
Me:"abri
deisboundt
olat
e"i
sai
ddr
essi
ngmy
desi
gnerhel
pedme.
Iworemybobcubeddressi
thadwhi t
ebeads
wit
hopenback,itf
it
tedmywaisteperfect
ly
andhuggedmylowerbodyi
thadt wolayer
l
acesontopandalongcutf
rom mythightomy
knee.
Il
ookedmysel finthemirr
orilookedso
beauti
ful,iwishedmypar ent
swer ether
eto
seetheirdaughtergett
ingmarried  .
Manda:
"youar
esobeaut
if
ul"wehugged
Me"
im goi
ngt
orui
nmymakeup"i
sai
dhol
ding
t
ear
sback.
Manda:"
iwi
sht
heywer
eher
etoseey
ou"I
nodded
Lumi
:
"Wowy
oul
ookst
unni
ng"shepeckedmy
l
i
ps.
Me:
"t
hanky
ouguy
s,wher
eismybaby
?"
Lumi:
"wai
ti
ngf
orhermom att
hebeach"i
nodded
"Wowyouar
ebeaut
if
ul,
i
m soproudofy
ou"
sai
dJadenl
ooki
ngatmesmil
i
ng.
Me:
"iknowt
hanks"i
smi
l
ed
Hi
m:"
Shal
lwe?
"Inodded.
Wedr
ovet
othebeach,
iwasososcar
ed.

Lwandl
e

Wewerenowwai ti
ngforLolai
waspani
cki
ng
,whati
fshecancel
ledorranaway,
iwas
paci
ngupanddown.
Luh:
"shewi
l
lbeher
eman"
het
appi
ngmy
shoul
der
Me:
"howdoy
ouknowt
hat
?"
Luh:
"shel
ovesy
ou"
inodded.
Musi
cst
art
edi
ndicat
ingt
hatshei
sher
e
ev
ery
onest
oodup.
Isi
ghedr
eli
eved.
Amandawalkedi
nFollowedbyLumiandot
her
gi
rl
stheyweresobeauti
fi
l(Amandawas
Matr
onofhonourandLuhwasmybestman) .
Lol
af ol
lowedhol
dingarm wit
hJaden.She
l
ookedsobeaut i
ful
,herdr
esshuggedherbody
sowel l
,shewal
kedtorwardsus.Shesmil
ed
l
ookingatme.Jadenhandedherov ertome.
Wewal
kedt
othest
air
sinpul
pitar
ea.
Pastor:"wehavecometogetherattheinvit
ati
on
ofLolaandLwandl et
ocelebrat
et heunit
ingin
Chri
stianlove,t
hei
rhear
tsandlives.Thi
si s
possiblebecauseoft
helovegodhascr eatedin
them .
Lwandl
ehasf
oundsuchonei
nLol
ahear
tsand
spi
ri
tweredr
awntogetherbef
oret
odaybythe
l
ord.Theyar
enotunit
edbyceremonybutonl
y
l
oveandpowerofgod.
Whothenhaspr
epar
edthi
swomanf
or
mar
ri
agetothi
sman? "
"
Idi
d"Sai
dJadenst
andi
ngup.
Pastor
"Lol
aandLwandlenootherhumanties
aremoretender,
noot
hervowsareaboutto
assume,youareent
eri
ngthedeepestmyst
ery
ofexperi
ence".
Webot
hnodded.
Pastor:
"Lwandl
ewi l
lyouhav eLolat
obey our
wif
e, t
olivet
ogether,wi
lly
oul oveher,
comf ort
her
,honorandkeepheri nsicknessandheal t
h
andforsakeotherskeepyourselfonl
yf orher
solongasy oubothshalll
ive?"
Il
ookedLol
a.
Me:
"ido".
Past
or:
"Lol
awi
l
lyout
akeLwandl
etobey
our
weddedhusband,
toli
vetogether,
wi l
lyou
comfor
thim,honorandkeephi minsi
ckness
andheal
thandkeepyourselfonl
yforhimti
ll
deat
hdoy ouapar
t"
Lolakeptquei
tforsomet
ime,
shecl
osedher
eyes.
Lol
a:"
ido"i
sighed.
Past
or:
"ri
ngspl
ease".
It
ookt
her
ingf
rom Luh.
Me: '
ILwandleLot chi promisetoloveand
cherishyouallthet i
me, youmademebel iev
e
i
nl ove,youchangedmyl i
feiam whoi am
becauseofy ou, y
ouar emylif
emyhear t,
with
thisringipr
omi setol oveyoufortherestofmy
l
ife"isaidpl
acingt her i
ngherfinger
.
Lola:
"ILol
aHadidorshouldisayLotch"
everyonel
aughed."ipromisetol
ovey ouwit
h
myl i
fe,iwil
lbet
hewifeyoualwayswi shedf
or.
wegoti nthi
smarri
ageforcedbutnowi m
gratef
ulwewere.Imetthemanofmydr eams
themanwhopr otectsme,wi
ththi
sringi
promisetowakeupnexttoyouev er
yday
"peopl
emadet hat"awwornchoo".
"
Andi
wil
lforev
erl
ovey
ou"shepl
acedt
her
ing.
Iwasbl
i
nki
ngmanyt
imes.
Pastor
:"i
stheany
onewhohasthereasom t
hat
theset
woshouldnotbet
oget
her"i
closedmy
eyesnerv
ous.
"
Wellt
henforeverkeept
her
easont
oyoursel
f.
NowipronounceyouasMrandMrsLot
schyou
mayki
ssthebr i
de"
I
'vebeenwai
ti
ngforsolongmyli
pstouched
hersoftl
i
ps,wesuckedeachot
her'
li
ps"
Me:
"il
ovey
ou"
Lol
a:"
ilov
eyoutoo"wesmil
edwal
ki
ngdown
peopl
echear
ingandsi
ngi
ng
"i
sencanel
engane"
.
Wet ookpict
ureswi
tht
hef
ami
l
yandour
daughter
.
Thedayendedwel
l
.
Aweekl
aterwewer
egoi
ngt
oourhoneymoon.
Me:
"LOLAHURRY"i
shout
edf
rom downst
air
s
Lol
a:"
IM COMI
NG".
Shecamedownwi
thHl
alumi
inherar
ms.
Her:
"i
m goi
ngtomissy
oumyl
ove"shewas
t
alki
ngwithHl
alu.
Me:"daddyi
sgoingt
omi
ssy
oupr
incess"i
peckedherl
ips.
Wewerenowinourhoneymooni
nGr
and
BeachMi
amiHotelf
oraweek.
Lol
a:"
whoevert
houghtwewi
l
lbet
hishappy
?"
Shesatonmylap.
Me:"
im happywearetoget
her
"shesmiled
ki
ssi
ngme, iledust
oourbedroom andther
est
i
shistor
y.
Weretur
nedhome,
Lol
awashappyt
oseeLal
a
(
Hlal
umi).
Lol
a:"
ilov
eyoupr
incess"i
satnextt
oher
Me:'
il
oveyoumyQueenandmypr
incess"i
ki
ssedbot
hofthem.
WhoknewanArr
angedmar
ri
agecant
urnoutt
o
beabl
essi
ng.
"
Nowt
hisi
sOURARRANGEDMI
RRI
AGE"
"
Lwandl
eHl
alumi
Lol
aLot
ch"
TheEnd
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