BySandyGxaba
*
**THELI
FEINEVERI
MAGI
NED*
**
#01
.
Allmyl i
feI
’vespentittryi
ngt omakesur ethat
Yvettedoesn’ tgothrought hepai nIwent
through.Bei tbull
yi
ngi nschool ortheabusewe
endur edbyourpar ent’
shands.Ourpar ents
wer ethebesty oucouldev eraskf or, when
Yvettewasbor nitwasl i
ket heheav enswer e
rej
oicingbecausei twasabeaut if
ul sunnyday .
Mysi sterwas6andIwas10, shewast hebest
thi
ngt oeverhappent omebecauset henIhad
afriendi nherandshehadaf riendi nme.our
fami l
ywashappyandwenev erhadany
problems.Af ewmont hsi ntothey earmydad
gotapr omot i
onatwor k,hemadepar tner.We
wer ehappyandev eryt
hingwasgoi ngasi t
shouldunt ilonedayaboutamont hl aterfrom
hispromot iondadcamebacki ndist ressaf t
er
hav i
ngl osthisj obbecausei twasf oundout
thathehadcommi ttedf raudandcostt he
companymi ll
ions.Wewer el i
v i
ngof fofmom’ s
salar yasanur sei nt hel ocal hospi talandt hings
wer ef inebutnotmanyment akeki ndl yt obeing
dependentont heirwi f
ef orev ery t
hing, even
toi
let ri
esandt hat’swhent hingswentsout h.
Dadst ar t
eddr inkingandhebecameabusi ve
towar dsmom, atf i
rsti twast hel i
tt
let hingslike
aslapont hef aceandt heni twentf rom asl ap
topunchesandki cksandf rom t hathest art
ed
beltinghert oapoi ntwher eshewoul dmi ss
wor kf orawhol eweek.Manywoul daskwhy
shedi dn’tleavehi mt hemi nutehel aidahand
onher ?IknowcauseIaskedmy selfthesame
quest ionbuti t’snott hateasy .Dadwasout
dri
nki ngatt helocal t aver nandmom had
packedupal l
ofourcl ot hesandwewer eready
tohi tther oadassoonasmysi sterandIcame
backf rom school .Mysi st erwasadaddy ’
slit
tle
gir
l andshedi dn’tknowaboutt heabuse, mom
andImadesureofit.Wehadjustgot
tenoutof
school
andwewer ewaiti
ngformom tocome
fet
chusli
keshenormall
ydidbutinst
eaddaddy
showedup.Helookedcl
eanerthannormal
.
Hi
m:hel
l
ogi
rl
s
I
vy:
daddy
Yvett
ejumpedi
ntodaddy
’sarmsandhe
welcomedheri
ntoabonecrushi
nghug.
Hi
m:Yol
a
Ijustst
oodtherel
ooki
ngathim wai
ti
ngf orme
tojumpint
ohi sar
msbutIstoodmygr ound
Me:
Wher
e’smummy
?
Him:mummyisali
tt
lecaughtupsoIt
houghtI
shoul
dfet
chy
outoday
Inoddedandhetookmyhandi nt
ohisandwe
headedhomewhi l
eIvytol
dhim aboutherday
atschool
.Theminutewewal kedinmom was
passedoutonthekit
chenfloorwit
hbloodall
overherbodyy
oucoul dbar
elyrecogni
seher
beauti
fulface.Iwentt
okneelbesi
deand
broughtmyheadcl osert
ohernoseandshe
wasst i
ll
br eat
hing.
Me:
mummypl
easewakeup
Shedi
dn’trespond.Ishookherbutshesti
ll
di
dn’
trespondev enthoughshewasbr eat
hing.
 
Me:
daddymummyi
snotwaki
ngup.Wehav
e
t
ohelpher
Hi
m:mummyshoul
dbemor
ecar
eful
nextt
ime
Idon’tcarewhatagey ouarebutthatsounded
ri
diculoustomebecauseIknewt hathewas
responsibleforthestatemymot herwasi n.he
wasst il
lcarryi
ngI v
yinhisarmsbuthehad
buriedherf aceinhisnecksoast opreventher
from seeing.Het ookhertotheroom andt hen
camebackt ofi
ndmest i
l
lkneel
i
ngbesi deher
cryi
ng
Me:
mummypl
easedon’
tleav
eus.
Hi
m:her
e.Cal
ltheambul
ance.I
’
m goi
ngoutf
or
adr
ink
That’sal lhesai daf terhandingmehi sphone
andwal kingoutonmeont hatkitchenf loor.I
couldn’tbel ievet hi
s.Thismandi dn’ tcareabout
hiswife, thewomanhemar r
iedwi thoutagunt o
hishead, thef ootholdoft hisfami l
y.Hej ustdid
notcar e.Aweekpassedandmom wasst illi
n
hospital andi nt hatweekdadwoul dcome
homewi thdi f
ferentwomanandsomet i
meshe
wouldcomehomewi thhisdr i
nkingf ri
endsand
theywoul dspendt heni ghtinourf ami lyhome.
ItwasaSundayandI vyandIhadj ustgot ten
backf rom chur ch,dadwasn’ taroundi nstead
hisbest iewasi nourhomedr inkingourf ather’s
beer.Wegr eetedandI vyrant other oom t oput
ourthingsbecauseIknewdadwoul dcome
homeexpect i
ngmet ohav ecooked.Yes, thatis
whati thadgot t
ent o.Ihadt olear nhowt ocook
orelsewewoul dgot obedonanempt y
stomach.  
“
youhav
ereal
l
ybeaut
if
ull
egs”
Av oicesaidf rom behi ndme.Fearcr eptinand
myhear tstartedr acing.I’vealway sbeenaf rai
d
oft hi
spar ti
cularf ri
endbecauseoft hewayhe
woul dlookatme.Idon’ tknowwhenhegott o
mebutt henextt hingIr ememberwashi m
sweat i
ngont opofmet elli
ngmehowt ightI
wasandt hatIshoul dkeepmy selfthatway .
whenhewasdoneheputaR100not einmy
dresspocketandt oldmet hatitwoul dbeour
l
itt
lesecr etandt opr omi setonott ell anyoneor
el
sehewoul dgoaf termyl it
tl
esisterandki ll
bothmypar ents.Li keanybi gsisterIhadt o
keepI vysafeandsoIwashedandkeptmy
mout hshut .Thepai nbet weenmyl egswas
unbear ablebutIdi dn’twantt ohav emypar ents
ki
lled.Yes, may bemyf atherwasanonsenseof
apar entbutIwasonl y10, Iwasn’tr eadyt olose
mypar entsjusty et.SoIkepti ttomy self.Dad
camebackf rom wher everandIhadj ust
fi
nishedcooki ng. 
Hi
m:whyar
eyouwal
ki
ngl
i
ket
hat
?
Me:Ispr
ainedmyankl
eatchur
chpl
ayi
ng
ski
ppi
ngwi t
htheot
herki
ds
Heboughti twithoutaski
nganyf urther
questions…becauseher eallydidn’tcare.I
handedhi m hisf oodandtookourpl atestoour
room andI vyandIat einsilence.Af t
erhav i
ng
fi
nishedal l
mychor esforthedayIwentt obed
andjustletitalloutinfl
oodsoft ears.Icri
ed
until
If el
lasleep. 
.
.
ToBeCont
inued
[
05/
10,
08:
14]Ron:
bySandyGxaba

*
**THELI
FEINEVERI
MAGI
NED*
**
#02
.
.
Mom wasbackhomef rom thehospitalafter
twowhol eweeksi nt hereandt woweeksof
miseryf r
om myf ather ’
sfri
endbackathome.
Hehasn’ tbeenar oundev ersincemom got
back.Iwasnotmy sel fanymor e,Iwasn’tthe
happyf unfreespi r
itedchi l
dIoncewasbef ore
every
thing.Thi smanhadt akenpar tofmet he
minutehest ar t
edfor cinghimsel fontome.So
manyt imesI ’veconsi dereddeathbutIdi dn’t
wantmysi stertogot hroughwhatIwasgoi ng
thr
oughandsoIl iv
ed.Mom wasn’ therself
anymor e,aft
ersomet imei nhospi t
alshecame
backachangedwoman, astrangertobeexact
becauseshej ustdidn’tcareaboutusany mor e.
Shest art
eddr inki
ngt ooandIdon’ tevenknow
whereshegott hemoneyt obuyboozebutshe
hadit.Wewer eonourwayt oschool andwe
hadn’teateni ntwoday s’now
Me:
mom
Her
:What
?
Me:
canwehav
emoneyf
orbr
ead?
Her
:doIl
ookanat
mtoy
ou?
Ididn’
tknowhowt orespondt
othat.Whathad
happenedtomysweetl ovi
ngcar
ingmother?
Thismonsterbefor
emewasnott hewoman
thatgavebi
rt
ht ome.Ishookmyhead
Her
:you’r
eagirl
.Manpayt ousewhaty ouhave
bet
weeny ourl
egsli
tt
legir
l.usei
ttoyour
adv
antageandy ouwil
lnevergohungryagai
n
Il
ookedatherexpect
inghert
osayshewas
j
okingorsomethi
ngorwhateverbutshewasas
ser
iousasaheartatt
ack.
Her
:getoutofmysi
ght
!
Iwalkedoutt
otheloungeandpul
l
edmyl it
tl
e
si
ster’
shandandthenwewalkedtoschool
. 
I
vy:
Lal
a
That’
swhatshecal
l
edme.itwasanameshe
gavemeandhasstuckwi
thmef orasl
ongasI
canremember.
Me:
yes,
Ivy
?
Her
:whydoesmom hat
eus?
Me:shedoesn’
that
eusbaby
.She’
sjust
st
ressed
Her
:what
’sst
ressed?
Me:she’
sjustgoi
ngthr
oughthi
ngst
hatar
e
makingherbethewayshei
snow
Her
:sost
ressmakesy
oumean?
Ichuckl
ed
Me:
Iguessi
tdoes.
Her
:Lal
aI’
m hungr
y
Me:
Iknowbaby
.Met
oo
Wewalkedpastthisotherbigshopownedby
thi
sot
herni
cef orei
gner.IaskedIv
ytowaitfor
meoutsi
dewhileIwenti nsidet
otrygethi
mt o
giv
emesomet hingtoeat .
Me:
myf
ri
end
Hi
m:hel
l
oLal
a.HowcanIhel
pyout
oday
?
Me:canwehav esomethi
ngtoeat
.Mysister
andIhaven’teatenf
ortwodaysnow.Ipr
omise
Iwil
lpayitoffbyworki
nghere
Hi
m:uhhhm
Me: pl
easesirwest
arv
ing.Icanworkher
eaft
er
schoolever
ydayandyouwon’ thav
etopayme
Him:t
ellyouwhat.Iwillgi
veyouguy
s
somethi
ngtoeat.LateroncomebyandIwi
l
l
gi
veyouguy safewgr oceri
es
Me:
thanky
ousomuch
Hegav emet wosandwi chboxesandIwal ked
outtofi
ndIvytalki
ngt omyf ather
’sfri
end.And
hewasplayingwi t
hherhai r
.Immedi at
elyitsent
chi
ll
sdownmyspi neandi twasnott hegood
ki
ndofchill
s.Itscaredmet othinkthathe
woulddaretrywhathedi dwi t
hmet omyl ittl
e
si
ster.
 
Hi
m:Yol
anda
Me:
hel
l
o.I
vywehav
etogett
oschool
Hi
m:waitwhat
’st
herush.Looki
t’
srai
ning,
get
i
ntomycarandIwil
ldr
iveyou
Ishookmyheadandhebr
ushedmysi
ster
’s
hairback
Hi
m:comeonnowYol
ayoudon’
twantt
odo
t
hat
Me:
fine.Pl
easej
ustl
eav
eheral
one.
Hi
m:t
hat
’sagoodgi
rl
Wegoti nt
ohiscarandhedr ov
eust oschool.I
wasmadet osi
tinthef
rontseatwhil
eIvysatin
theback.Heputhishandonmyt high
underneat
hmyski r
tandmadehi swaytomy
underwearandstar
tedfi
ddli
ngwithmyv j
ayjay
Him:eversincey
ourmothergotbackIhav
en’
t
beengetti
ngmydailybr
ead
Hesai
dunzi
ppi
nghispants.Hest
oppedpl
ayi
ng
wi
thmedownther
eandt ookmyhandand
pl
acedi
tonhi
shardshaftandmademegive
him ahandj ob.Wegott oschool awhileaf ter
hehadr el
eased.HeputR50i nmyschool skirt
andt hengav emeat issuet owipemyhands
andt oldmet owashmyhandsbef oregoingt o
classandt hat’
swhatIdi dt heminuteIgot
i
nsi det heschool grounds.Iwasdi sgustedby
my selfbutIt ol
dmy selfthatwhat everhappensI
won’ tletthi sstandi nthewayofmyf uture.I
wasn’ tgoi ngt oletthisstandi nmywayof
tryi
ngt ol iveabet terlif
ef ormeandmysi st er.
WhenIcamehomewi t
hapacketofgr ocer ies
dadwasn’ thappy .Heassumedt hatIwas
sleepingwi ththeshopownerwhi l
emom ont he
otherhandwaspr oudt hatIwasusi ngmyGod
givengi fttogett hingsdone.Thatni ghtIsl ept
withmywhol ebodysor ef r
om allthebelt
whoopi ng’sIgotf rom mydad.Thenext
mor ningmom wal kedinandcov eredmy
bruisesandt ol
dmenott ost opdoingwhatI ’
m
doingandshet ookt heR50Ihadgot t
enand
toldmet ogoandmakesomemor e.Saidshe
waspr oudofme.Ev er
yt i
meIcamehomewi th
groceri
est hemor ewhooping’sIgotunt i
l5
mont hslaterwelostmyf athertoTBandnowI
wasl eftwithmom.Dad’ sdeathwasl i
kean
i
nv i
tati
ontoal if
eInev eri
magi nedformy sel
f.
Mom st art
edpr osti
tut
ingmeout ,t
oldme
school wil
lonlygetmesof arbutmyl ookswer e
allIcouldbankonandt heli
ttl
egiftIhave
betweenmyl egswasgoi ngtot akemepl aces.
 
.
.
Iwasnow16andI vywas12, t
hingsathome
werest i
l
lthesame.Wel i
vedoffofthemoneyI
gotfrom sleepingwiththemanymenwho
di
dn’tgetenoughsat i
sfacti
onfrom homeand
mom coul dn’tbehappier.Iv
yandIhadj ust
gott
enbackf rom schoolandmom wassi t
ti
ng
i
nthel oungedr inki
ngwi t
haf r
iend.
Her
:heycomebackher
e.Bot
hofy
ou
Wewal
kedi
nandsatdown.duet
othe
ci
rcumst ancesIwasav erycheekychi l
dand
hadsomuchangerbutt hroughitallIprotect
ed
Iv
yatal l costs.Ot
herki
dsinschool calledme
allsort
sofnamesbutt hemi nutetheycal l
ed
mysi stersuchnames, thenitwast heirfuner
al.
Iwaspr obablyinthepr
inci
pal’
sofficeal most
everydayoft heweek.Someofmyt eachersin
school wer emycl i
ent
s.Yes,mymot herwas
pimpingmeout .
Us:
Ma
Her
:Iv
y
I
vy:
ma
Her:i
t’
saboutti
mey ouhelpedyoursi
sterout.
Myclient
sarecomplai
ningsayi
ngshe’swor n
outandtheywantsomethingnew
Me:
what
?No!
Mom:Iwasn’
ttal
ki
ngt
oyou.Iwast
alki
ngt
o
Yv
ett
e.
Me:
youcanusemeal
lyouwantbutYv
ett
eis
notgoi
ngt
obey
oursl
ave,
Iwon’
tal
l
owy
out
o
NowIknowy ouprobabl ywonder i
ngwhywe
nev erwentt ochildsuppor tser vicesorran
awayordi dsomet hi ng.wewer en’tsofortunate
tohav emetourr elativ es.Al lourl i
vesit
’sjust
beent hef ourofus…nowt hreeandwehav en’t
hadany wher etorunt oo.t hest reetswerenot
anopt ion.It’
snott hatIenj oy edwhatIwas
doingbutIwoul dr atherdot histhant onot
knowwher emysi steri sorwhatshegoest o
bedhav i
ngeat enorany thingoft hatsort
.Ilived
formysi sterandasl ongasshewasokand
untouchedt henIwasgoodandIwaswi ll
i
ng.I
hadt wof r
iendsandonl yoneoft hosefri
ends
knewaboutwhatwasgoi ngonbackathome.
Arianahasof fer
edt ot akeusi nbutIdon’ twant
tobur denherandmom t hr eatenedt osellIvyif
everwer anawayf rom home.
Mom:
soy
out
alkbackt
omenow?
Me:
mom pl
ease.She’
sonl
y12
Her:andyoustart
edhav
ingsexwheny
ouwer
e
10.Don’tbest
ingy
Me:
Ivygot
other
oom
Mom:
Ivyst
ay
Iv
ygotupandwentt oourr
oom wit
hmom
shout
ingforhert
ocomebackinthelounge.We
werestandi
ngupfaci
ngeachot
her
Her:
youmustthi
nkj
ustbecauseyouhavi
ng
sexnowwethesameage.I’
m sti
l
lyourmother
Me:
star
tact
ingl
i
kei
t
Sheat
tempt
edt
osl
apmebutIhel
dherar
m
Me: i
t’
sf unnyhowy ouneedtoremindyourself
thatyouourmot herwhenitsui
tsyoubutyou
neveractlikei
twhenoppor t
uni
typresent
si t
self
foryouto.Ourmot herdi
edthedaydadbeat
youupi ntoapulp.
 
Il
etgoofherar
m andwalkedtoourroom.I
cal
ledAr
i,i
twasaboutt
imeIvylef
thome.
.
[
05/
10,
08:
14]Ron:
 bySandyGxaba

*
**THELI
FEINEVERI
MAGI
NED*
**
#03
.
.
*
**PhoneConv
ersat
ion*
**
Me:
Ari
Her
:heybabewhat
’sup?
Me:
Ineedaf
avour
Her
:shoot
Me:
canI
vycomel
i
vewi
thy
ou
Her
:yeahsur
enopr
obl
em
Me:
thanksf
ri
end.We’
l
lbet
her
einanhour
Her
:okcool
Me:
thanksami
l
li
Her
:noneedt
othankme
*
**Endofconv
ersat
ion*
**
Bytheti
meIwasdonet al
kingIvywasst andi
ng
bythedoorlookingatme.Youseet hething
aboutAri
isthatshe’sagoodhear tedper son
andthebestfri
endany onecouldev erhaveand
shewouldli
teral
lydropanythingtohelpmeout
andIwoulddot hatsamef orher. 
Me:
comesi
t
Isai
dpat
ti
ngnextt
omeont
hebed
Her
:youwantmet
ogol
i
vewi
thy
ourf
ri
end
Me:
justf
orawhi
l
eunt
ilwehav
eenoughmoney
Her
:butILal
aIcanhel
pyou
Me:youar
enotgoingtobehav
ingsexwi
th
r
andom st
ranger
sformoney
Her
:buty
oudoi
ngi
t
Me:
Idon’
thav
eachoi
ce
Her
:wealway
shav
eachoi
ceLal
aandy
ou
madeyour
s
Iwasdef
eat
ed.Whendid12yearol
dsbecome
smart
?Shestoodupandwenttoourwar
drobe 
Her
:I’
l
lst
artpacki
ng
Me:I
vythisi
sforyourownsafet
y.I
t’
smyj obto
l
ookoutforyouandmakesurethatyounever
got
hroughwhatI’
m goingt
hrough
Her
:andsendi
ngmeawayi
syoudoi
ngt
hat
?
Me:
itswhat
’sbestI
vy.Iwoul
dn’
twantany
thi
ng
t
ohappentoyou
Her
:whati
fyout
ryi
ngt
oprot
ectmei
syou
put
ti
ngmeinhar
m’sway?
Me:Ar
iwoul
dnev
erhur
tyou.Herf
ami
l
ywoul
d
har
myou
Her
:youdon’
tknowt
hatYol
anda.
 
Me:
comel
et’
shel
pyoupack
Shej
ustshov
edhercl
othesi
ntohersui
tcase
andt
henzi
ppedi
tup.
Her
:I’
m donewecango
Me:
Ivy
Her
:wedon’
twantt
okeepAr
ianawai
ti
ng
Me:yoursar
casm i
schar
ming.LookIwi
l
lvi
sit
youever
yday
Her
:whycan’
twel
i
vet
her
etoget
her
?
Me: becauseIdon’twantustobeaburdento
Ari
’sparents.Besi
desI’
m almostdonewit
h
schoolandt henwecanleavetoget
herwhenI
gotov arsi
ty
Her
:youpr
omi
se?
Me:
Ipr
omi
se
Wehookedourpi nki
est oget
herandthen
seal
editwit
hakissonourhands.I t’
salways
beenourthi
ngfr
om si ncewewer ekids.Iwas
busywit
hmyf i
nalsandi twasNov ember
al
ready
.Iwasleftwithmyaccount i
ngpaper
andEngli
shpaper3.Iski ppedaf ewclasses
backinpri
mary,I’
veal waysbeenasmar tki
d.
Wet ookoutherclothesandthenst ar
ted
packingt
hem nicelyandneatlyandafterthatI
madeussomet hingt oeatandt henI
accompaniedhertoAr i’
shome.Ar iwouldbe
shari
ngtheroom wi t
hI v
y.Wel eftI
vyi
nsideand
spokeoutsi
de
Ari:
yougonnabeabl
etocomepr
act
isewi
thus
today?
Me:
Iwi
shIcoul
dbuty
ouknowhowt
hingsar
e
Her:
Landayouneedt
ost
opt
his.i
tsmadness
anditmi
ghtgety
ousi
ck
Me:Ari
Iunder
standyourconcer
nsbutI’
ml ef
t
wi
thtwomorepapersandthenIpromiseyou
wegone
Her
:wi
l
lthemoneybeenought
ogetaway
?
Me:
itshoul
dbe
Ar
i:y
ouknowi
fyouneedmor
eIgoty
our
ight
?
Me:Iknowbuddyandt
hanky
ou.Thanky
ouf
or
ev
erythi
ng.
Her
:gi
vemeahug
Weshar edahugandt henIwal kedhome
passi ngbyt heshop.Thi sneighbour hoodhottie
wal kedupt ome, he’
shoty esbuthe’ san
arrogantsel f-
centredbastardandIwant
nothingt odowi thhim.Okr easonwhyIhat e
himt hismuchi sbecausegr owingupheandI
wer egoodf r i
endsunt i
lourprom ni ghtwhenhe
tr
iedt ogeti ntomypant sandaf t
erhav ingfai
led
hecal ledmet henamest hatev eryoneel sei
n
school hadbeencal l
ingme.Het urnedoutt obe
l
ikeanyot herjerkwhosawmeasnot hingbuta
sexsl av e.
Hi
m:Yol
awai
tup
Me:
Leav
emeal
oneRaphael
 
Hi
m:Yol
acomeon
Hesai
dgr
abbi
ngmyar
m,It
ri
edpul
l
ingi
taway
f
rom hi
m buthi
sgr
ipwast
ight
. 
Me:
saywhaty
ouwantt
osayandgo
Him:Yol
aI’m sor
ryok.I
’
vebeenfeeli
ngbad
aboutwhathappenedsi
ncethatdayandIhat
e
myselff
orwhatIputyouthr
ough
Me:
ohsonowI’
m notaslutt
hatopensherl
egs
t
oever
ymanIcomeacross?
Him:Idi
dn’
tmeani
tYol
a.CanImakei
tupt
o
you?
Me: Raphaelst
ayawayfr
om me.i twasbad
enought hatev
ery
oneinschoolactedsome
typeofwayt owar
dsmebutf oryoutodot he
same?Thatwasal owbl
owev enforyou.Letgo
ofme
Iy
ankedmyar mfrom him andhel etgo.Raph
i
st hefi
rstmantoev erhur
tmeemot i
onal
ly
af
termydad.HeandIwer et i
ghtandheknew
everyt
hingbutnotoncedidhej udgemeort reat
mesomet ypeofwayandt henallofasudden
heactedli
keaj er
kandfrom t
hereonIhav e
nevergot
tenclosewit
hanyguy .Igothomeand
Iwaswelcomedbyabi tchsl
apandwhowasI
tol
ethergo,Iretur
nedonetohermy selfand
sheheldhercheek
Her
:Iwanty
ououtofmyhouse
Me:
gladl
y
Her
:andbr
ingmydaught
erback
Me:why?Soyoucansel
lherl
i
key
oudi
dme?I
don’
tthi
nkso“mummy”
Shescreamedi nf
rustrati
onandst ormedof f.
Wher ewasIgoi ngtogo?Al lIhadmanagedt o
rai
sewas5Kandt hatwasn’tevengoi ngtobe
enought ocoverupmyf ees.Iwasj ustprayi
ng
thatIgetabur sar
ywhenIgett ovarsity
.Igot
i
ntomyr oom andpackedmycl othesandt ook
everyt
hingthatbelongedt omeandwal kedout
ofmyhomeoratl easttheplaceIusedt ocall
home.If el
taraindroponmyhand.Coul dtoday
getanywor se?Istartedwalkingandt herain
gotwor se,acarstoppednextt omeandt he
personinsiderol
leddownt hewindowandGood
Godwast hismanacr eaturef r
om outofthi
s
world.Nomanshoul deverl ookthewaythis
mandi d.Itwasmor all
ywr ong!
Hi
m:canIgi
vey
oual
i
ft?
Ilookedathi m blankly
.NotbecauseIdi dn’t
hearhi m butIwast oobusyf ocusedonhi s
beaut i
fulselfthatev er
ythinghewassay ingwas
fall
i
ngondeafear s.If
eltsomeonet aki
ngmy
suitcaseandIgotacl earv i
ewofhi m.hewasi n
nowayhumanshame.Hewasanal i
enandhe
hadaBr i
tishaccentwhi chmadehi m evenmore
sexy .Heopenedt hedoorf ormeaf terhavi
ng
putmydi rtysuitcaseinsidehi sbrandnew
l
ooki ngcar ,hewasdr i
vingt helat
estMer cedes
Benz.
Hi
m:pl
ease,
geti
n
Il
ookedathi
m andmymindcameback.No
maneverwantstogi
vey
oualif
tunl
esshe
expectssomethi
nginret
urn.DON’TTRUSTHIM
Yolanda!-
tr
ustmysubconscioustotal
ktome
i
nt hemostunexpect
edsituati
ons-
Me:
whatdoy
ouwanti
nret
urn?
Hi
m:excuseme?
Me:nomanj ustev
erdoessomethi
ngnice
wi
thoutanyexpect
ati
ons.Sowhatarey
ours?
Him: canwehavethi
sconversati
oninsidet
he
car.Ialr
eadyhav
efluandIdon’twantittoget
anywor se
Hesaidthatshiv
ering.Hewasweari
ngashirt
andchinoswithniceredbot
toms.Helooked
l
ikesomeonewhohadst yl
eforday
s.
Him:i
fIwant
edtosteal
youordosomet
hingt
o
you,
Iwoul
dhavealr
eady
Me:
nowhowam Isupposedt
otr
usty
ou?
Hi
m:Inev
eraskedy
out
otr
ustmet
obegi
nwi
th
Iwassuddenl
yst
unned.
Hi
m:pl
easegeti
nthecar
Iswall
owedmypr ideandgoti nsi
dehiscarand
heclosedthedoorandranintohi ssi
deandgot
i
n.hiscarwassowar m becauseoft heheat
er.
Hebuckledupmyseatbel tandt henbuckl
edup
hisandthenstar
tedtheengine.Hewas
l
isteni
ngtoG-Eazy’
salbum…i fonlyheknewthe
crushIhaveontheguy.
Him:youtol
dmeIownt hatpearl
,yeaht
hat’
s
causeIboneyougirl
.youshouldbemyonlygirl
whenIhiti
tyoufeelli
keyouownt heworl
d.I’
m
onsome….YoulistentoG?
Me:
huh?
Him:i
fyouuncomf
ort
abl
ewi
tht
hesongy
ou
canchangei
t
Me:
noi
tscool
.Il
oveG-
Eazy
Him:agir
lthatknowshermusi
c.It
hinkIl
i
ke
youal
ready.
Idi
dn’
trespond
Hi
m:sowher
eam It
aki
ngy
ou?
Me:
uhhm 
Hi
m:uhhhm?
Justthenhi
sphoner
angandheanswer edit
,it
wasconnectedvi
aBl
uetoot
htohiscar.Andon
thescreeni
twaswri
tt
en“Munchki
n”.He
answeredit
.
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:i
smom ok?
Thegi
rlj
ustcr
ied
Hi
m:I
’
m onmyway
 
.
[
05/
10,
08:
14]Ron:
-bySandyGxaba

*
**THELI
FEINEVERI
MAGI
NED*
**
#04
.
.
Heendedt
hecal
landchangeddi
rect
ions.
 
Me:
woahwher
ear
eyout
aki
ngme?
Hi
m:t
othehospi
tal
Me:
cany
ouat
leastdr
opmeof
ffi
rst
?
Him: doyouknowwhot hatwas?Thatwasmy
sist
er.Ourmotherhadanoperati
ont oday
whichwasamat t
erofli
feordeath.Andasy ou
heardmysistercry
ingontheothersideofthe
l
ine,she’
sgone
Ikeptqui et
.Hewasdr ivi
ngsof astIwas
holdingont omysiteven.Wegott ot hehospit
al
andhepar kedandrushedinsideli
vingme
sit
tingthere.SowhatnowLal a?Youl eftwi
tha
strangerandy oufarfr
om homeorAr i
’shome.
howar ey ouev engoi
ngt ogethomenow?–At
thatmomentIwi shedIcouldslapmysub
becausei twasaskingmequest i
onsIcoul dn’
t
answer .Thecarwasn’tlockedandifIt ookmy
thingsandl ef tthenchancesar et hievesmi ght
steal hi
sthings.Okwhatnow?hi swal letwas
sit
t i
ngont hecuphol derbet weent heseat s,I
tooki tandopenedi tlookingforhi sid.His
namewasTobi asEv ansandhewas26, funny
causehedi dn’ tlookit.Itookoutmyphoneand
i
twasof f,bat teryhaddi ed.Ilookedf oracabl e
andal lIcoul df i
ndwasani Phonecabl e,the
l
atestoneandher eIwaswi t
hani Phone4soI
wasdoomed.Af teragood2hour shef i
nally
wal kedoutwi thabeaut i
fulskinnywomanwi th
mi dnightbluehai r,i
twasnav y-
ishandi tsuited
her .t
heyshar edahugandhecamet ohi scar
andhest artedt heengi ne.
Hi
m:sowher
eam Idr
oppi
ngy
ouof
f?
Me:
myf
ri
end’
spl
aceon5t
hav
enue
Hi
m:t
hat
’swher
ewecomef
rom
Me:
yep
Hi
m:whyy
ourf
ri
end’
spl
aceandnoty
ourhome?
Me:
gotki
ckedoutofhome
Hi
m:whatdi
dyoudo?
Me:
what
swi
tht
he21quest
ions?
Him:uhhm maybebecauseIknowt hata
normalpar
entwouldn’
tjusthar
bouranother
womanschildwit
houtaskingsuchquesti
ons
Me:wel
lyounotmypar
entormyf
ri
end’
s
par
ent
s
Hi
m:Iseewhyy
ouwer
eki
ckedout
.
Me:
excuseme?
Him:we’
l
lst
artatmyplace,
Ineedt
ochange
anddon’
twor
ry.I
tsar
oundhere
Ididn’tevenhav et hestrengt
ht oargue.We
parkedi nfrontoft hemostbi ggesthouseIhad
everseen.I twast hetypey ouonlysawon
magazi nesorsomet hing.Wewal kedoutand
wenti nsideandt heinsidewasev enmore
beaut i
ful
.Isatint hekitchenont hecounter
chairs.Afterawhi lehecamebackwear i
nga
sweat
erandsweat
pant
sandcar
ryi
ngcl
othesi
n
hi
shands.
Him:Idon’
tknowift
hesewil
lfi
tbutyouneedt
o
changebefor
eyoucatchacol
d.Ther
esa
bathr
oom downthehall
onyourl
eft
Il
ookatt
hecl
othes.
Me:
whosear
ethey
?
Hi
m:t
heybel
ongt
omyl
atesi
ster
Myuniform waspar t
ial
lywetandpr i
dewasn’ t
goingtoworkheresoIt ookt heclothesand
wenttochange.Itwasat r
acksuit
, navy,v
elvet
withapairofanallwhiteairmax.Ev ery
thi
gn
suit
edmeper fect
ly.Iwalkedoutandhewason
thephone.Hesaidhi sgoodby esafternoti
cing
me.
Hi
m:Iknewt
hesewoul
dfi
t
Me:
I’
m sor
ryabouty
ourmot
her
Hi
m:she’
sinamuchbet
terpl
ace.
Inodded.
Hi
m:Inev
ergoty
ourname
Me:
younev
eraskedf
ori
t
Him:ok.Mynamei
sTobi
asEv
ansandwhat
s
your
s?
Me:
Yol
andaGr
aham
Hi
m:ni
cet
omeety
ouLanda
Me:
li
kewi
seToby
Hi
m:i
tsTobi
as.
Wit
hthathewalkedoutandhel
dthedoorfor
me.Iwalkedoutandwedroveof
ftoAri
’shouse.
Hedroppedmeof fandIt
ookmysuit
casewith
me.
Hi
m:wi
l
lyoubesaf
eher
e?
Me:
ofcause
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
e?
Me:
yesI
’
m sur
e. 
Igottothedoorandhewasdr aggingmy
suit
caseforme.sai dhewant edtomakesur e
thatIwassafe.Irangt hedoorbellandt henthe
doorswungopen.Bef oremest oodt heman
whot ookawaymyi nnocence.Forami nuteI
thoughtIwasont hewr ongdoorst epbutnope,
i
twast heri
ghtplacebecauseoft hei nt
erior
Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Him:v
isi
ti
ngmysist
erandni
ecesandnephews.
Whatareyoudoi
ngher
e?Andwhoisthi
sman
youwit
h?
Ipushedhim outofthewayandwalkedin
shouti
ngforIvy’
sname.shewasinthelounge
wit
hAr i
’smom, AriandAr
i’
sbigbr
other.
A.
mom:
heyhoneywhat
swi
tht
heshout
ing?
Me:
Ivygof
etchy
ourt
hingswel
eav
ing
Ar
i:f
ri
endwhat
sgoi
ngon?
Me:
Ivy
.NOW!
Ar
i:Landay
ouscar
yingmeandI
vyt
oo.what
s
goi
ngon?
Me:
whydon’
tyouasky
ouruncl
e
Iwassopissedandev entrembl
ing.HowdidI
missthi
spieceofinf
ormat i
on?Howdi dInot
knowthatt
hemanwhost olemyinnocence
wasmybestf ri
endsuncle?Iwalkedupstai
rsto
Ari
’sr
oom andIvywassi tt
ingonthebedcrying
Me:
wher
eisy
ourbag?
I
vy:
Lal
awhat
sgoi
ngon?
Me:
I’
ll
tel
lyoul
ater
.Let
sjustl
eav
e
Ariwalkedi
nandcl
osedt
hedoorandl
ockedi
t
behindher
Her
:younotl
eav
ingher
eunt
ily
out
ell
mewhat
s
goi
ngon
Me:
Ari
Idon’
thav
eti
mef
ort
his
Ari
:youcantj
ustst
ormint
omyhomeandst
art
shouti
ngLanda.Whati
sit
?
Me:
itwashi
m ok.y
ouruncl
e.I
twashi
m
Ar
i:i
twashi
m?
Me:het
ookawaymyi
nnocenceAr
iana.Iwas
onl
y10
Idi
dn’
tev
enhav
eanyt
ear
sinme.
Me:hethr
eatenedhewoul
dgoaf
termysi
steri
f
Idi
dn’
tdoitRi
Sheshookherheadi
ndi
sbel
i
ef
Me:
pleaseopent
hedoor
Shehandedmet hekeywhi l
ecl earl
ysti
l
l i
n
shockandIopenedt hedoorandl etmyselfout.
Iwasdr ai
nedinall aspect s.WhenIgot
downst air
sev er
yonewaswai tinganxiouslyto
heart hereasonformyout burstbutIdidn’tsay
anythinginsteadout sideIf oundTobyst anding
outsidehescart alkingont hephoney etagain,
hehel peduswi thourbagsandwegoti nside
andhedr oveoffinsi lence.Wegott ohi
shouse
andwegotof f
,het ookbot hourbagsandwe
wenti n.IaskedthatI v ywai ti
nt heloungeI
want
edt
otal
ktot
oby
.
Him:sot hi
siswhat sgoi
ngt ohappen.Idon’
t
knowwhaty ougoi ngthr
oughandIwontask.A
matri
culantshouldn’
tbegoingthroughsuch.so
youandy oursist
eraregoingtoli
vewithme
unti
lyougoof ftouniver
sit
yok?
Me:
whyar
eyoudoi
ngt
his?
Him:wouldy
ouratherIt
akey
out
osoci
al
ser
vicesi
nst
ead?
Ishookmyhead
Him:I’
m doi
ngthisbecauseIhaveagoodhurt
andit
si nmynaturet
ohelppeople.ComeI’
ll
showy ouwhereyouguyswillbesl
eepi
ng.He
showedusar oom wit
hadoubl ebedandhad
ever
ythingi
nit
.
Him:thi
susedtobemysi st
ersroom.Ihaven’
t
hadtheti
metocleanitoutsoI’
m hopingyou’
ll
makedoandt henthi
sweekendwecangobuy
youguysbedcoversthatar
emor eyourst
yleor
what
ever
.
Me:
thanky
ouTobi
as
Him:nowIdon’ texpectmuchf rom youeit
her
thangoodr esults.Ihaveacl eanerwhocomes
i
n3t imesadaybutsi ncet heresy ouguysshe’
ll
behereev eryday.Iam har dl
yev erhome
becauseI’m alway stravelli
ngandmybi gsist
er
theoneatt hehospi talcomesov erever
yday
whenI ’
m notar oundt of eedt hedogs.
Every
thingelsewewi l
ltalkitthroughaswego
on.
Ij
ustnodded.
Him:wi
ll
youtwobeokher
eal
one?Ineedt
obe
somewhere
Inoddedagai
n
Hi
m: ther
esfoodinthecupboard,meatinthe
f
reezerandyeahIdon’tknowwhatelsey ou
mightneed.Ohandtheressnackstoo.youwil
l
f
armili
ari
zeyour
selfwithever
ythi
ngelse.Bye
Red
Withthathewalkedout .myhai
rwascopperr
ed
sohencet heredthingy
.Iwentdownst
air
sand
j
oinedmyl it
tl
esister
Her
:whoi
sheandwhatar
eyoudoi
ngt
ohi
m
f
orhimt
obethi
sni
cetous?
Me:Imethi
mtodayaft
ermom kickedmeout
andhesai
dhedoesn’
twantany
thingfr
om me
Her:
whydon’tIbel
i
evethat
?Manal
way
swant
somethi
ng.t
heywantonethi
ng
Me:
IloveyouI
vybutI
’m wr
iti
ngt
omor
row
mor
ningandIneedt
opract
ise
Wi t
ht hatIwenttoourr oom andpr actisedunt i
l
Ipassedout .IwokeupwhenIf el
tsomeone
pickmeup, Ihaveafearofheightsandt hat
fearincludesbeingpickedupt oo.nev erbeena
fanofbei ngintheairorhavi
ngmyf eetdangl e.
.
.
[
05/
10,08:
14]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#05
.
.
Me:
pleaseputmedown
Hi
m:y
oushi
ver
ing.Ar
eyoucol
d?
Me:
pleasej
ustputmedown
Hepl
acedmei
nsi
det
hecov
ers.
Hi
m:arey
oucol
d?Ar
eyoucomi
ngdownwi
th
t
hefl
u?
Ishookmyheadunabl etoutterasingleword.
Pleaseunderst
andthatwheny ouafraidof
somethingitdoesweir
dstufftoyourbodyand
thatwasmenow.myhear twasbeat ingoutof
mychestalmostl i
keIwashav i
ngpani cat
tack
Hi
m:Redt
alkt
omepl
ease
Me:
I’
m scar
edofhei
ght
s
Hel
ookedatmef
orawhi
l
eandt
henl
aughed
Him:whoayouser
ious?I
…I’
m sor
ryIdi
dn’
t
knowthat
Me:
ofcausey
ouwoul
dn’
tknow
Him:sothatmeansy ouafr
aidofbei
ngpicked
up?Icouldn’
tletyousl
eeponthefl
oornow.you
weregoingtocatchacold
Me:
thanksf
orcar
ing 
Hi
m:buti
twasn’
tev
enahei
ght
Me:justbei
ngintheai
rormyfeetnottouchi
ng
thegroundscar
sme.itmakesmef eel
likeI’
m
havi
ngsomesor tofapani
catt
ack
Hi
m:t
hat
’ssad
Me:
yeah
Him:sodoest
hatmeany
oucan’
tsi
tonahi
gh
chai
r?
Me:
comeon.Achai
risachai
r.
 
Hi
m:buty
ousai
dyoudon’
tli
key
ourf
eetnot
t
ouchi
ngt
hef
loor
Me:
I’
mtoot
ir
edt
ohav
ethi
stal
kwi
thy
ou.
 
Hi
m:di
dyouguy
seat
?
Itt
henhitme.Ididn’
tmakeanythi
ngtoeatand
myl i
tt
lesi
sterwasprobabl
yhungr
yAF.OHGod
I’
mt heworstsi
sterandshewasinbedsl
eeping
alr
eady 
Me:
whatt
imei
sit
?
Hi
m:past11pm.Wai
tyouguy
sdi
dn’
teat
?
Me:i
ttot
all
ysli
ppedmymi
nd.Iwast
oobusy
st
udyi
ngthatIf
orgot
Him:l
uckyy
ouIbr
oughtpi
zza.Waket
hel
i
ttl
e
oneupandcomeeat
Inoddedandhewal kedout
.IwokeIvyupwhich
wasast r
ugglebutevent
ual
lyshewokeupand
weheadeddownst ai
rstoeatandgettoknow
eachotherseei
ngthatweli
vedtoget
her.
 
Hi
m:I
’
m anaccount
antandapar
tneratsome
account
ingf
ir
m
Me:sot
hatmeansy
ouknowy
ouraccount
ing
r
ight
?
Hi
m:t
opofmycl
assr
ed
Me: gr
eat.Ify
ounotbusycanwel ookatfew
thi
ngs.Ikindofgotstuckandthat
’swhenIfel
l
asl
eepcauseIcoul dn’
tcracki
t
Hi
m:br
ingy
ourbooksandl
et’
sdot
his
Iranupst ai
rsandcamebackwi t
hmybooks.I vy
fi
nishedeatingandwentst r
aighttobedl eaving
mewi thToby .Thisguyrighthereknewwhathe
wasdoi ng.Hewasn’ tlyi
ngbyt hetopoft he
cl
assst atementbecausehewasr eall
ysmar t
andhemadei tal
lseem li
kethesi mplestthing
knownt omen.Wesl eptat3am i nthemor ning
andIwaswr it
ingat9am.Iwassur egoi ngto
passt hatpaperwiththehelpIgotl astnightor
shouldIsayt hismorning.Wegott oschool and
hepar kedinfrontofthegate.
Him:Iwon’tbeav ai
l
abletopickyoutwoupsoI
gotyouadr i
ver,
hernamei sAshlene…she’smy
PA.hereiscashforlunchforthebothofya’
ll
andIwill
seey ouguy sl
ater
.Red,Acethatexam
ok!
Inodded.
Me:
thanky
ouTobi
as
Hi
m:y
ouwel
come.I
vy,
seey
oul
ater
Shesmi ledandt henwegotoffthecarand
wentinside.All
ey eswereonus.rememberI
havear epinthisschoolandmer ocki
ngupina
Benzdoesn’ tmaket hi
ngsanyeasierf
orme.Ari
camet omeandt hr
ewhersel
fatmei nabone
crushi
nghug.
Her
:Iam sosor
ry.
Me:
itsok
Her:
noit’
snotok.Mom thr
ewhi m out
.he
conf
essedandmom threwhim out.pl
ease
comebackLanda.It
ri
edcall
ingyoubuty our
phonewasof
f.Wher
edi
dyousl
eep?Ar
eyouok?
OhmyGod
Ipul
l
edherawayf
rom meandhel
dheratar
m’s
l
ength.
Me:RiI’
mfi
ne.I
vyi
sfi
ne.Wesl
eptatt
hisguy
’s
house
Her
:guy
?
Me: notacli
entoranyt
hingl
i
ket
hat.Imethi
m
yesterdayaf
termom ki
ckedmeoutandhe
offeredusaplacetost
aywhenwelefty
our
house
Her
:doy
out
rusthi
mthough?
Me:
heseemst
rust
wor
thy
Her:t
hat
’snotananswer
.Landay ouhavebeen
thr
oughalotandfory
outotrustastr
angerthi
s
easi
ly
Me:Idon’
tknowRi,there’
sjustsomethi
ng
abouthi
mt hatmakesthehaironthebackof
myneckliedown.heseemsgenui ne
Her
:what
every
ousay
“
HeyLadi
es”
Iknewwhoitwas.Icannev
erseem togethi
s
voi
ceoutofmyheadnomat terhowhardItr
y
Hi
m:newcl
i
ent
?Rocki
ngupi
naMer
cedes
It
urnedt
osl
aphi
m wi
tht
hebackofmyhand
Me:
gof
ucky
our
sel
fRaphael
!
Isaidwal kingst rai
ghtt oclass.IknowIl i
vethe
l
ifeofapr osti
tuteorescor torwhat everyou
chooset ocal litbutI’m nott hatperson.Idon’t
doanyoft het hingsIdi dbychoi ceorbecauseI
want edto.Ijustwant edust ostopgoi ngtobed
onanempt ystomach.Youseewheny our
mot herbringsherf riendsov erandeatwi thher
fr
iendswhi l
ey ouar el ockedupi ny ourroom
andal lyoucanwakeupt othenextdayi s
bonesofy esterday’smeaty oucan’thelpbuttr
y
andf indmeanst ochanget hesituati
onandi f
mot hersay sthiswi l
l putfoodont hetablethen
whoar eyoutoactafoolandnott
aketheoff
er?
Igotint
oclassandthisbi
tchwhohatesmeand
Ihateherwalkedovertomeandpressedher
handsonmydesk
Her
:nei
ghbour
hoodwhor
e
Me:
andy
ouwoul
dknowr
ight
?
Her
:Isawt
hecary
oupul
l
edupi
n
Me:yeahandyou’
vepul
l
edupi
nhowmanyt
his
weekalone?
Her
:li
stenher
ewhor
e
Me: noyoul
i
stenheresl
ut!Don’
ttr
yme
becausewebothknowitwon’tendwel
l
Her:l
et’
sjusthopel
i
ttl
eIv
ydoesn’
tendupl
i
ke
you
ShewalkedawayIgripedherhai
randpull
edher
byitmakingherscr
eam inagony
.Youcandiss
meallyouwantjustdon’
tgoanywherenearmy
si
ster
Me:
coul
dyour
epeatt
hat
,Idi
dn’
tqui
tegeti
t
Her
:youhur
ti
ngme
Me:
Isai
drepeatt
hat
Her
:I’
m sor
ry
Me:
what
?
Her
:I’
m sor
ry
Iletgoofherandshef i
xedherhai randcat
wal kedaway.Youmi ghtsayIhav eangeri ssues
butwhenpeopl earealway spickingony ouona
dailyyoutendtobecomet hatper son.I t’
ssaf e
tosayIacedt hatpaperbecauset heyr epeated
aquest ionpaperTobyandIhadf oundonl i
ne
l
astni ghtandmanagedt osol veitall.Ithi
nkI
mi ghthavegottena90-somet hingper centinit.
Iwentt ocheckonI v
yandIf oundhersi t
ti
ng
underadeski nherclasscrying.
Me:
Yvet
tewhat
’swr
ongbaby
?
Sheshookherheadandj
ustcr
iedsomemore.I
di
dn’
tknowwhatt omakeofi
tbecauseIwas
hur
tbutIwasalsomadatwhoev
erwoul
dmake
myli
tt
lesi
stercry
.
Me:
Ivyt
alkt
ome
Isai
dpull
i
ngheroutundert
hedeskandshe
fi
nal
lyagr
eedtocomeout.wesatonthedesk
andshewipedhert
ears
Me:
tal
ktomebabycheeks
Her
:itwast
hisotherboyfr
om grade9,he
pul
l
edmyskirtdownont heschoolgr
ounds
Me:
hedi
dwhat
?Showmet
hisboy
Sheshookherhead
Me:
Yvet
teshowmet
hisboynow!
Isai
dpulli
ngherhandandwewalkedtothe
schoolgr
oundsandtherewasagroupofboys
play
ingsoccer
Me:
whi
chonei
she?
Shepoi
ntedatsomeboywit
hf r
eckl
es.Iwal
ked
uptohi
m andkickedhi
mintheball
swhil
ehe
wasbusybei
ngagoal
keeper
Me: nexttimeI ’
l
ldomor et hanjustki
ckyouin
t
hebal ls.Ifyourhornyasssomuchasl ookin
mylittl
esi st
er’
sdirecti
onev eragainIwi
llchop
yourbal l
soffandhangt hem ontheschool
f
rontgat e.Tryme
WiththatIwalkedovertomysist
erleavi
nghim
crouchingdowntothepain.Wegotoutsideand
acarf l
i
ckeredit
sli
ght.Iwaspr
ettyscepti
cal
unti
laladywalkedoutandcamet ous
Her
:I’
m AshleneMrEv
ansassi
stant
.Yout
wo
mustbeIvyandRed
Icouldn’
thelpbutlaugh.Ofcausehesai dtohis
assist
antIwasRed.I ’m probabl
ytheonlyred
headint hi
sschool.Trustmei tcausedahuge
fi
ghtbetweenmeandt hepr i
nci
palandIwon
becauseIwasnotaboutt odyemynat uralhai
r
colourtosomethingelsewhi let
heyletthe
blondesandthebr unettesbe.Wegoti nto
Ashlene’
scarandshedr oveustoMacD
Her:sowhatwil
lyouladi
esbehaving?And
beforey
ousayno, Iwasorder
ednottotakeno
forananswer
Me:
fine.Fol
dov
ermeal
pleaseandI
vy?
I
vy:
I’
ll
hav
eabi
gmacmeal
thanky
ou
Wit
hthatshewentt
hroughthedri
vethr
uand
or
deredourmeal
sandt henaf
tert
hatshe
dr
ovesustoToby’
splace.Wesaidourgood
by
esandwentinsi
de
.

[
05/
10,08:
14]Ron:
*THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#06
.
.
ThenextdayIwasn’
tsupposedt
ogot
oschool
butIwascalledintotheof f
icebecauseof
yest
erday’
sincidentont heschoolgrounds.I
satopposi
tet hepri
ncipalwithmyar msfolded.
Her
:Mi
ssGr
aham
Me:
HeadMi
str
ess
Her
:Wedonott
oler
atebul
l
yingi
nthi
sschool
Me:
buty
out
oler
atesexual
off
ender
sri
ght
?
Shelookedatmeal i
tt
leshockedbymy
stat
ementandIwasn’tgoingtotakei
tback.
Whatboypullsdownagirl
sskirtunl
essthey
hornyorsomewhereinbetween
Her
:sexual
off
ender
s?
Me: cl
ear l
ysomeone,whoev errepor tedthist
o
youdidn’ttel
lyouthewholet ruth.Ifoundmy
l
itt
lesistercur
ledupunderadeskcr ying
becausesomest upi
duglyboycoul dn’tkeephis
handst ohimselfandfi
guredi t’
dbebet t
erifhe
pull
eddownmyl i
tt
lesi
ster
’sski rt
.Sot ellme,
wasIwr ongt ofi
ghtformysi sterbecauseshe
cantdef
endhersel
f?I
fyouwereinmyshoes,
wouldyouhav
edonet hi
ngsdi
ffer
ent
ly?
Her:Iheary
ouMi ssGraham butyourli
tt
le
sist
ershoul
dhav ecometomyof ficeand
report
edtheinci
denceeit
herthany out
aking
mat t
erstoyourownhands
Me: thi
sisthething,youweregoingtogivehi
m
detenti
onforprobablyadayandhewas
probablygoingtogetmadandt henhewould
trytogetevenwit hIv
yanddof arworsethan
j
ustpul l
i
ngdownherski rt
.andyoupeople
weren’tgoi
ngt odoany thi
ngaboutit
.may bea
suspensionnotef oraweekorsomet hi
ngand
thenhe’sback.
Her
:Mi
ssGr
aham
Me: noheadmi stress.Ifmyli
tt
lesisterwas
rapedy ouguyswoul dn’tdoanyt
hingabouti t
.
Don’ttrytoactli
ket her
ewassomet hingbett
er
youcoul dhavedone.Idi dwhatIcouldt o
protectmysister.Ifyouwannapuni shmet hen
puni
shmef
ordef
endi
ngmysi
ster
.
Shekeptqui
et
Me:i
fyounotgoingt
opunishmeorwhatever,
mayIpleasel
eav
e.I’
m wr
it
ingmylastpaper
t
omorrowandIneedtopr
eparef
orthat
Shej
ustnoddedandIwal
kedoutl
i
keaboss.
 
Thingswer egood.Resul t
scameoutandasI
predictedIgotadi sti
nctioni nAccount i
ng…not
thatther estwer en’tdist
inctionsbutaccount i
ng
wast hehi ghestandTobywassopr oudofme
heboughtmeani Phone6andI vyal sogot
goodgr adesandheboughtherani Padfor
school pur poses.Shewasonl ygoingt ost
art
grade8nexty earsoshedi dn’tr
eallyneeda
phone.Igotaccept edintoAudi t
ingand
Account i
ngandBusi nessManagementi n3I VY
l
eagueuni versit
iesandImanagedt oscore
my selfabur sarythatwoul dcov erEVERYTHI NG
aslongasIkeptt her esult
scomi ngandwoul d
i
nternatt heircompanydur ingholidays.Fi
rst3
mont hswer en’teasybutTobyandI v ycalledme
ever ydaysoi tfeltli
keIwasbackhome.y es,
Toby ’
spl acehadbecomeapl aceIcal lhome.
Hewasheav ensent ,notoncedi dhet ryhisluck
onanyofust houghIwasscept ical about
l
eav i
ngmyl ittlesisterwi t
hjusthi m al onesohe
suggest edshest udi esi naboar dingschool and
comebackwhenIwasbackandwewer eal l
goodwi t
ht hati dea.Idon’ tknowhowToby
pulledt hewhol eboar dingschool thingof f
becausesomedocsneededourpar ent’s
signat uresanddet ailsbutguypul ledi toffand
mysi sterwasi n.Idi dn’twantt obef arsoI
opt edf orthest at
euni versity
.Wel i
v edi nLAso
mi ghtaswel l
.Ar iwasl efttostudyl iteratureat
Yaleandourot herf riendwentt oSeat tl
et ofind
her self.Ihav en’tseenourmot hersincet heday
sheki ckedusoutandf ranklyIdon’ tcar eabout
her .Ihadj ustgot tenoutofmyl astl ecturef or
thedayandwast alkingt oTobyont hephone
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:soguesswhat
?
Me:What
?ohtel
lmeT.t
ellmenow.Icannot
bar
eanot
hermomentwi
thoutknowi
ng!
Helaughedandsodi
dI.it
’ssomet
hingwe
pi
ckedupf r
om t
hemovieTheSecretLi
feOf
Pet
s
Hi
m:Lonel
i
ness
Webothjustcr
ackedupinl
aught
er.Ohthi
sguy
wasreal
l
ysomet hi
ngel
seandIenjoyedev
ery
minut
eIspenttal
ki
ngtohim
Hi
m:l
ookout
sidey
ourwi
ndowRed
Me:
uhhm…ok
Igotupandpeepedthr
oughthewindowand
whatdoyouknow.hiscarwasstandi
ngr
ight
outsi
demybuil
ding.HewavedatmeandI
chuckl
edwavi
ngback
Me:
youdi
dn’
ttel
lmey
ouwer
eback
Hi
m:Iwant
edt
osur
pri
sey
ou
Me:
wel
lyou’
vesucceeded 
Hi
m:comeouther
e
Me:
sti
l
ltr
ynaf
indmyot
hershoe.Ohwai
t,goti
t
Hi
m:seey
ounow
*
**EndofPC*
**
Iwal kedoutofmyr oom andl ockedi tthenwent
downst airs.Iliv
edinaf l
atpaidf orbymy
bur sary
.Ify ouhadt oldmeI ’
dbel i
vinglikethi
s
7y earsago, Iwouldhav et ol
dy out oshutup
becausewhaty ouar esay ingisunr eali
st i
cand
sucht hingsdon’ thappent opeopl elikeme.
Tobyknewmyst or
ywi thmysi st erandwhywe
l
ef thome, hewassy mpat heti
ct owar dsandhe
promi sedust oneverlivet hewaywel i
v edagai
n.
Igotdownst ai
rsandt hrewmy selfathi m and
hepi ckedmeupandspunmear ound.I ’m gl
ad
tosayt hewhol ebeingpi ckedupt hingandspun
arounddi dn’ tgi
v emehear tat
tacksany mor e
event houghbei ngupi ntheairst il
lscar edme.I
didn’tevenhangmycl othesont her oof
becauseIf
ear
edt
hewor
stpossi
blescenar
io.
Heputmedown 
Hi
m:shemi
ssedme
Me:sher
eal
l
ymi
ssedhi
m…whoev
erwet
alki
ng
about
Hi
m:It
houghtIwast
alki
ngaboutRed
Me:r
eal
ly?Ar
ghy ouknowhowRedi
s,she
pr
obabl
ydidmissyou
Hi
m:andwhataboutYol
anda?
Me:
shemi
ssedTi
fTmi
ssedher
Him:Talway
smisseshercompany.Tsuggest
s
thatt
heygooutf
oralat
elunch.WhatdoesRed
suggest
?
Me:Redthi
nkst
hat
’sagreatidea.shej
ust
needst
ogoputonpropershoes
Him:nahy
ougoi
ngt
otakehour
sandI
’
m
hungr
yAF!
Me:
wontIembar
rassy
ou.ImeanIl
i
ter
all
ylook
l
i
keast
udentr
ightnow
Hi
m:y
eahso?
Iwaswear inggy m shortsandal ooseschool
teewithdogsl eepers,hairti
edupi namessy
bunandhadgl asseson.Inor mal lyread
Facebookdi ari
eswhenIgetbackf r
om school
andwhenTcame, Iwasf i
nishinguponeIhad
beenr eadi
ngf r
om school al
lthewayt omy
place.I’
vebeenher efor3mont hsandIhaven’
t
madeanyf ri
endsy et.
Me:
fine
Hi
m:st
il
lnof
ri
ends?
Me:youknowme.Il
i
kemyowncompany
…and
your
sandIvy
’s
Hi
m:howl
ongdoy
oupl
anonst
ayi
ngal
oner
?
Me:
asl
ongasI
’
m her
e
Hi
m:andaboy
fri
endmay
be?
Me:
I’
ll
getaboy
fri
endt
hedayy
ougeta
gi
rl
fr
iend
Him:
Idon’
tthi
nkanywomanwoul dbe
comf
ort
abl
eoft her
elat
ionshi
pwehave
Me:
ncoooht
hat
’sador
abl
e!Whi
mp!
Hepunchedmepl ayf
ullyandIstuckmytongue
outathim andhejustlaughed.Tobyhad
becomeabi gbrothertousandhi sbi
gsist
er
Camill
eorasy a’
ll
knowher“ Munchki
n”waslike
abigsist
ertousandshel ovedusespeci
all
y
I
vy. 
Him:
okokok.Idon’ twantt
obringabit
chat
homethatwil
lmistr
eatmylit
tl
eRedridi
nghood
andl
it
tl
emi sssunshine
Me:I’
mi nVarsi
tyandsunshi
neonl
ycomeson
hol
i
day s.St
opmakingexcuses
Him:okfi
ne.ThereissomeoneIli
kebutshe’
s
youngandIdon’tt
hinkshefeel
sthesame
aboutmeasIdoher
Me:
you’
l
lnev
erknowunl
essy
out
ell
her
.Asf
or
t
heage,
itai
ntnot
hingbutanumber
Him:Iai
ntt
rynagetar
rest
edf
orst
atut
oryr
ape
now
Webothlaughedandhesuddenl
ykeptqui
et
andkepthi
sey eont
heroad.
Hi
m:anyMr
.Ishoul
dknowabout
?
Me:youknowwhatI’
vebeent
hroughovert
he
year
s.AMrist
helastthi
ngonmymi nd
Him:notal
lMr’
sar
eli
ket
heone’
syou’
vehad
encount
erswi
th
Me:ohyeahyour
ight
,youoneoft
hegood
0.
01%remaini
ng
Him:what
every
ousay.Thanksf
ort
he
compli
mentbytheway.
 
Me:
sowher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
Hi
m:y
ou’
l
lsee.
Hekeptdr
ivi
ngandt henwestoppedoutsi
de
t
hisbi
gtal
lbuil
ding,
lookedl
i
keahot elr
eall
y
andi
tlookedhi
ghcl
assandnotf
orpeopl
eli
ke
me.
Me:
arey
ouher
etof
etchsomet
hing?
Hi
m:no.t
hisi
swher
eweeat
ing
Me:NoWAYS!Haveyouseenhowt
hepeopl
e
ent
eri
ngt
hispl
acear
edressed?
Him:y
eahandnoneoft
hem ar
edr
essedl
i
ke
you
Me:exact
lywhyweneedtofi
ndanot
herpl
ace.
Li
keO’Neelsorsomet
hing
Hi
m:Red.
Il
ookedathi
m 
Hi
m:cal
m down.wej
usthav
ingl
unch
Me:
butst
il
lT
Him:ai
ntl
i
key
oul
ooki
ngt
oimpr
essany
one…
orar
eyou?
Hegav
emethatl
ookofhi
sandIj
usthi
dhi
s
f
acewit
hmyhands 
Hi
m:t
inyhands.Comel
etsgo
Hegotoutofhissideandcamet oopenf orme.
i
t’
sbecomeat hingfrom si
ncet hefi
rstti
mewe
metunt
ilnow.i
t’sahabitifIcanputitthatway.
Wewalkedinandt hehostesslookedathim
andt
henme
Hi
m:we’
dli
keat
abl
efort
wopl
ease
Myar m washookedintohisandIwasleaning
onhisarm becausehewassl i
ghtl
ytal
l
erthan
me…asi nbasketball
tall
ert
ypeandIwasj ust
ther
elookingl
ikehisli
tt
lesi
ster
.
.
.
[
05/
10,08:
14]Ron:
**THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#07
.
.
Her
:pl
ease,
fol
l
owme.
Shel
edustoatablef
ortwoandIwaslef
t
mocki
ngherandthewayshespokeal
mostas
i
fshewasprogr
ammed. 
Her
:yourwai
terwi
l
lbeher
etot
akey
ouror
der
s
Wi
tht
hatshel
eft
Me:Yourwait
erwil
lbeher
etot
akey
our
or
ders…soundsl
ikeSir
i
Webot
hcr
ackedupi
nlaught
er
Hi
m:don’
tbesi
l
lyy
ou’
l
lgetuski
ckedout
Me:whati
fshehasanonandof
fswi
tch
somewher
e?
Hi
m:may
bei
tshi
ddenunderherbut
tcheeks
Me:andshehasspental
lherl
i
febel
i
evi
ngt
hat
she’
sact
uall
yhuman
Webothlookedateachandlaughedathow
r
idi
cul
ouswel ookedandsoundedwithour
makeupstori
es.Welookedthr
oughthemenu
andIcouldn’trecogniseany thi
ng, t
heydidn’t
evenhavepi cturesbutinsteadt heyhadprices
andeverythingwasexpensi ve.Asin$200and
aboveandt hat’sonlythest art
ersmenu.I
l
ookedathi m andIt hinkhecoul dfeelmyey es
onhim becauseher ai
sedhi sey esfrom t
he
menuandl ookedatmet oo.het henwhispered
Hi
m:what
’swr
ong?
Me:
ever
ythi
ngi
sexpensi
veher
e
Hi
m:y
eahso?
Wewer
ebot
hwhi
sper
ing
Me:
Idon’
tev
enknowwhati
swhat
Hi
m:I’
l
lor
derf
ory
ouandIpr
omi
sey
ougoi
ngt
o
l
ovei
t
Me:
fine
Hi
m:whyar
ewewhi
sper
ingagai
n?
Wewerebothleani
nginonthetabl
ewhisper
ing.
Il
ookedathi
m andleanedbacktomyseat
l
aughi
ngandhej
oinedi
n
Me:
Idon’
tknow.y
oust
art
edi
t
Hi
m:di
dn’
twanty
out
oembar
rassme
Me:
thewayI
’
m dr
esseddi
dthatf
ory
oual
ready
Awaitercamet otakeourordersandindeedthe
mealhehador deredformewasAMA- ZING.It
wasmeatpl at
teranditwasn’tbigenoughfor
t
wopeopl eandIhadt hemeal withamilkshake
whi
lehedr ankaglassofredwi ne.
Aft
ert heamazingdi nnerwehadhedr oveme
str
aighttomypl ace, If
eltli
keIwast al
ki
ngt o
my selfbecausehewasj ustquietandnodding
toev ery
thingIwassay ing.Wegott omypl ace
andhepar kedthecarandunl ockedthedoor s
andIpr essedthel ockbut ton.
Hi
m:andt
hen?
Me:Ishoul
dbesay
ingt
hatt
oyou.What
’sgoi
ng
onhereTobi
as?
Hi
m:not
hingRed.
 
Me:
I’
m notst
upi
d.You’
vebeenqui
etal
ltheway
Hi
m:i
tswor
kst
uff
Me:
Wrong!
Hi
m:t
henIdon’
tknowwhaty
ouwantt
ohear
Me:Tobi
asIknowI’
veonl
yknownyouforafew
monthsbutwor
kstr
essdoesn’
tmakey
out hi
s
qui
et.Di
dIdosomethi
ngwrong?
Hi
m:no 
Me:
thenwhat
’swr
ongTobi
as?What
’sgoi
ngon?
Iwasgett
ingimpati
enthere.Tisnotamoody
per
sonandt hensuddenl
yheget sal
lmoodyon
meoutoft hebl
ue…somet hinghadtobe
bot
heri
nghi m
Hi
m: Idon’
twantt
otal
kabouti
tRednow
pl
ease
Me:
fine.
Iunlockedt
hedoorandgotoutbangi
ngit
.how
darehesnapsatme?Igetit
,Iwasbeingpushy
butforhimtosnapatmeli
kethat
?Nof
am i
t
doesn’twor
kli
kethatI
’
m sorr
y
Hi
m:Yol
anda
Idi
dn’trespondinst
eadIwal
kedtothebui
l
ding
doorandhegr abbedmyarmjustasIwas
abouttoopent hedoor
.
Me:
leav
emeal
one
Hi
m:notunt
ilIknowwegood
Me:Tobi
asr
emov
eyourhandawayf
rom my
ar
m
Hi
m:Red.Tel
lmewef
oodf
ir
st
Me:
wegoodnowpl
easel
etgoofmyar
m
Hi
m:nowy
ouj
ustsay
ingt
hat
Me:whatdoyouwantmetosayTobi
ashuh?
Whatdoyouwantmetosay?Whatdoyouwant
f
rom me?
Hi
m:t
his.
Idon’
tknowwhenhi
shandsgott
omyf
acebut
hepul ledmei nf oraki ssandi twasheav enly.I
feltbut t
er f
li
esi nmyst omach, i
twasnot hing
l
ikeIhav ef eltbef ore.I twasl ikehewaser asing
alloft hebedexper i
encesI ’veev erhadwi th
kissingandcr eatinganewbeaut i
fulmemor yof
whatar eal kissi ssupposedt obel i
keorf eel
l
ike.Itwasmagi cal .Hebr oket heki ssand
staredi ntomyey esasIdi dhi m.hel etgoofmy
faceandt henl eftmest andi ngt her ejustlike
thatandhedr oveof fleav i
ngmet or eplaywhat
hadj usthappenedr i
ghtnow.It ouchedmyl ips
thinkingabouthowsof thisl ipswer eagai nst
mi ne,howhi st onguedancedt oabeatofi ts
ownagai nstmi ne, Godhi sbr eat hwi thahi ntof
thewi nehehaddr ankt oday .Whatwast his
mandoi ngt ome?Iopenedt hedoorand
wal kedupt omyr oom.Iusedt hest airs
becauseIl i
vedont he5t hf l
oorandt here
wer en’tmanyst airsr eally.Igoti ntomyr oom
andj ustsl iddownbyt hedoorandsmi l
edt o
my self.WOW!Iwasdi st urbedbymyphone
r
ingi
ngi
nmyhand,
Icheckedt
hecal
l
eri
dandi
t
wasAri
.
*
**PC*
**
Her
:heyhoney
 
Me:
heyRi
Her
:howy
oudoi
ng?How’
sschool
?
Me:
I’
m good,
school
isgood.Andhowar
eyou?
Her
:I’
m good.Gr
eatev
en
Me:
Riwhat
’sgoi
ngon?
Her:
soImett hi
sguytoday
,he’
satut
orwemet
bychance.Iwaslat
eformycl
assandhehad
j
ustgott
enoutofhis
Me:
Ri…gett
otheendal
ready
Shel
aughed
Her
:youri
mpat
iencei
snotchar
ming
Me:
Ricomeon
Her
:hi
snamei
sMJ.Hi
scol
our
edf
rom Sout
h
Af
ri
ca
Me:andy
ougat
her
edal
loft
hiswhi
l
elat
efor
cl
ass?
Shejustl
aughedatmev
eryhar
dandIcoul
dn’
t
hel
pbutlaughtoo
Her:no.Wemetagainatthecanteenaf
ter
cl
assandwespokeandgott oknoweachother
ali
tt
lemore.Excepthe’
solderandwayoutof
myleague
Me:
whatdoy
oumean?
Her:he’
saBess.Gr
andsonofthegr
eatDamon
Bess.He’
s22andI’
m only18
Me:
ohh….
 
Her
:yeahIknow.Ir
eal
l
yli
kehi
mfr
iend
Me:
thengof
ori
t
Her
:ar
ghI
’
llsee.Sowhat
’sgoi
ngonwi
thy
ou?
Me:
not
hing.
Her
:howqui
cky
ouwer
etoanswer
.What
’s
goi
ngon?
Me:
Tobi
aski
ssedmeandIdi
dn’
tst
ophi
m
Shescr
eamedmaki
ngmeremovet
hephone
fr
om myear
.Shewassol
oud!
 
Her
:when?
Me:
about10mi
nago
Her
:and?Iknewi
t!
Me:
huh?
Her:
Ial
way
sknewhel
i
kesy
ouIj
ustdi
dn’
tthi
nk
he’
dmakeamove
Me:
huh?
Her
:your
eal
l
ycl
uel
esshuh
Me:
Ari
Her:
you’
l
lbef
ine.Sowher
edoy
out
wost
and
now?
Me:Idon’
tknow.i
twi
llmaket
hingsawkwar
d
andschool
sarecl
osi
ngsoon
Her
:tal
ktot
heguyandf
indout
Me:no!Iwon’
tbetheonet
orai
sei
twhenhe
wastheonethatki
ssedme
Her:
yesandy
out
hev
erysameonet
hatdi
dn’
t
st
ophim
Me:
byeRi
Her
:don’tbebi
tt
er.Youj
usthady
ourf
ir
stki
ss,
embraceit
Me:
Riby
e,t
her
e’ssomeoneatt
hedoor
Her
:fi
ne.By
ebabe
*
**EndofPC*
**
Igotupandwentt ogetthedoorandbef or
e
stoodthemosthandsomeguyIhav eev erl
aid
eyesonaf t
erTobi
asofcause.Iusual
lyseehim
i
nourbui l
dingandoncampus,he’sarugby
pl
ay erwit
hthewholepackageandstuffgoing
on.Hei sj
ustabeauti
ful
man.
Hi
m:Hi
Me:
uhhm hel
l
o
Him:sothere’
sapartythi
scomingFri
day
,itwi
ll
beheldatthefr
athouse.I
’dl
oveiti
fyouwould
comet hr
ough
Hesai
dhandi
ngmeaf
lyer
Him: bef
orey ousaynopl easet hi
nkcar ef
ull
yof
yournoandconsi derthef ollowi
ng.Ifyouget
boredI’l
lbri
ngy ouback,i
fy ouneedt ogotothe
l
ooI ’
llgowithyouandi fev eryouneedany thi
ng
Iwill
bet her
et ocatert
oy ourev eryneed
Il
ookedathi mt hinki
ngabouthisofferbutI
wasal it
tlescepti
cal,pret
tyboysarenormal
ly
pl
ay er
sandI ’m notreadytogetplayedinmy
fi
rstyear.I’
veheardwhathappensi nthesef
rat
parti
esandIdon’ twantt obeastati
stic.
Me:
I’
m sor
rybutIdon’
tdr
inkl
etal
onepar
ty
Him:whatdoyoudri
nkandIwil
lmakesur
eit’
s
avai
l
able.Iwi
ll
evengoandbuyitf
oryoui
fthey
don’
thaveit
Me:
whyar
eyouact
ingni
ceMrRugbycapt
ain
Hi
m:soy
ouknowme?
Me:Inor
mall
ywatchyouguy
spl
aywhenIdon’
t
hav
eanythi
ngbet
tert
odo
Hi
m:and?
Me:
yougood
Hi
m:ofcauseIam.ThenameisMisokuhl
eand
what
’st
hebeauti
ful
lady
’sname?
Me:
Yol
anda
.
[
05/
10,08:
14]Ron:
**THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#08
.
.
Wewerest
il
lst
andi
ngbymydoorwit
hhim
st
andi
ngontheot
hersi
deofi
t.Mywordhi
s
voicewassodeepandsobol dandheldso
muchaut horit
y.Makesy ouwonderwhogi ves
birt
ht osuchcr eation?Menl i
ketheone
standingbef oreshoul dn’
tevenexist
.Theyare
tempt at
ion.I’m prettysurealotofgir
lshave
l
ostt hei
rv i
rgini
tiest ohim becauseofhi
slooks,
hisbodyandhi sv oice.IknowIwoul d
Hi
m:pr
ett
ynamef
orapr
ett
ygi
rl
I
’m notbigonguysthattr
ytofli
rtwithme.I’
d
pref
erthingsj
usthappennat
urallybecauseI
don’tknowhowt ofl
ir
torwhatsoeversohejust
rui
nedt hemomentforme.
Me:
doesi
tev
erwor
k?
Hi
m:what
?
Me:thel
i
neyoujustusedonme?howmany
gi
rl
shaveyougott
eninyourbedwi
thi
t?
Him:y
ouwouldbesurpr
isedwhatst
atusand
goodl
ookscangety
ou
Me:
yeah…I
’
llpass
Him:Yolandal
ook,i
fIwantedtogetyouint
o
bedtr
ustmeIwoul dhavealr
eadybutyou
woul
dn’tbeablet
ohandleaniggali
keme.I’m
onl
yherebecausemyf r
iendi
stoochickento
cometoy ouhi
mself
Myj awwaspr obablyonthefloor
.Actual
l
yit
was…f i
gurat
ivel
y.Ididn’
texpectsuch
arroganceandat ti
tudeconsideri
ngheisthe
onet hatcamet omeandnott heotherway
round.Igetithe’stherugbycaptainandall
but
seriousl
y? 
Hi
m:mynumberi
sont
her
eshoul
dyoudeci
de
t
oli
veal
i
ttl
e 
Withthathewal kedaway .Myfi
rstthoughtwas
tothrowthest upi
df l
yeri
nthebinandt hat’
s
exactlywhatIdid.Howdar ehe?Iwentt omake
my sel
fsomet hingtoeatandthengotonmy
socialmediaandt herewasnothingfrom Toby.
HeandIt alkdayandni ghtandforhimt ojust
goMI Aonme.t hiswasbadandIwasn’ tgoing
totalktohim aboutitunt i
lhecomesf orward.
ThenextdayIwokeupwi thzeromessages
from himy etagainandt hendideverythi
ngand
wentt ocampus.Af t
erclassIwenttosi tinthe
canteentowai tformynextcl ass,Ifel
t
someonesi tnexttome.Myr outi
neinschool is
togot oclassandwai tonmynextcl asswhi le
readingmyf av
ourit
eFacebookdi aryandt hen
backt ocl
assandt henhome.Idon’ thav e
fri
ends
Voi
ce:
hey
.
Itur
nedandshesmel
tgoodandwasapr
ett
y
facetoo.
 
Me:
hey
Her
:mynamei
sMi
a;y
ouar
e?
Me:
Yol
anda
Her:
nicetomeety
ou.Lov
eyourj
acket
…wher
e
canIgetonel
i
keit
?
Iwaswear
ingToby
’sbomberj
acketwhi
chI
tookandheknowsi t
’swi
thme.he’shadit
sincehi
sbasket
ball
ingdaysinvar
sit
y.Idon’
t
gethowhegraduatedtopofhiscl
asswhilest
il
l
playi
ngasportt
hatmadehi mtrav
el…
Me:Iwon’
tli
etoy
ouIdi
dn’
tbuyi
t,goti
tfr
om a
f
ri
end
Her:
it’
sreal
l
ynice.Sowhatcour
sear
eyou
st
udyingandwhichyear
?
Me:I
’m st
udy
ingaccount
ing,
doi
ngmyf
ir
sty
ear
.
You?
Her:I
’
m doingBusinessManagementandI’
m
al
sodoingmyf i
rstyear.Howcomeyoualways
si
tt
ingalone?
Me:
Idon’
thav
eanyf
ri
ends
Her:wellt
heni
t’
saboutti
met hatchanged.
Considermeyourf
ir
stfr
iend
Ichuckl
ed
Me:
okf
ir
stf
ri
end.Ni
cet
omeety
ou
ItwasThur sdayandIwasi ntheli
brary
discussi onr oom pr essingmyphoneand
l
isteni ngtomusi c…I ’
m supposedt obedoi ng
anassi gnmentbutI ’mf ini
shedwi thitandI’m
bor ed.Mi aandIwer efriendsIguessandIhad
metherot hert wof ri
ends, Michell
eandAl exis
andt heywer esweetpeopl eIguess.Ihav en’
t
hear dany thingf rom Tobywhi chisnotso
strangeany mor econsider i
ngwhathappened.
I’
m sl owlyget t
ingusedt onott al
kingtohim
dailyev ent houghImi sshi m somuchandI
thinkI ’
m mi serabl egoingt hislongwithout
talkingt ohim.someonet appedmyshoul der
andIl ookedupr emov ingoneear phoneandi t
wasMi chelle.
Her
:heybabe
Shesai
dtaki
ngaseatnextt
ome
Me:
heyhowar
eyou?
Her
:I’
m goodt
hanksandy
ou?
Me:
alsogood
Her
:sother
est
hispar
tyatt
heFr
athouse
t
omorrow
Me:
Iknow
Her
:gr
eatt
hen.Let
sgoshopf
orout
fi
ts!
Me:
Idi
dn’
tsayIwasgoi
ng
Her
:comeonYol a.Youhav
etogo,fi
rstpar
tyof
t
hesemesteranditsgoi
ngtobedope.It
sli
kea
meetandgreet
Me:Idon’
tdri
nkandI
’
m notusedt
othi
swhol
e
ni
ghtli
fet
hingy
Her
:Ial
sodon’
tdri
nkbutI
’
m goi
ng.Comeon
Yol
aitwi
ll
befun
Ikeptqui
etcont
empl
ati
ng
Her
:pl
ease
Shemadepuppyey
esandIsmi
l
ed
Her
:gr
eat
.Youwontr
egr
eti
t!
 
Shesai
dpacki
ngupmyt hi
ngsforme.Ij
ust
l
aughedathowexci
tedshewas.Wewalkedout
oft heli
braryandweheadedt othepar kinglot
wher ehercarwaspar ked,sheandMi ahad
car s…richkidswit
hr i
chpar ents.Turnsout
Mi a’smom ownsO’ Neelsandherf atherisa
kingwhi chmakesherapr incess.Wegoti nto
hercarandMi awast heonedr i
vingit.Wewent
tot ownandpar kedatamal landwenti nside.
Aswewer ewalki
ngwebumpedi ntoMi soand
hiscr ew,Michel
lerant ohi
m andt hrewher sel
f
i
nhi sarmsandhecaughtherandspunher
around
Mia:
you’
dsweart
heydidn’
tjustseeeachot
her
oncampusafewminut
esago
Me:
theyani
tem?
Alex:
yep.Theymetl
astyearDecemberand
they
’vebeenbusysi
nce
Miso’
screwwasjustabunchofhot
ti
es.They
were5.Theguy
sgreetedandwegreet
edback.
Mia:
guy
sthi
sisournewmemberYolanda,
Yol
a
t
hisi
smybrot
herMichael
,thi
sisMi
so
somethi
ngl
ikeabrot
hert
ome, t
hisi
sAshton,
ShaneandKenny
.Theyal
lint
heschool
rugby
team
Them:
nicet
omeety
ou
Shane:sohowdoesi
twork?Youjustchoset
he
pret
ti
estgi
rl
soncampusandform asquad?
Hehadanaccent
.Hewasn’
tEngl
i
sht
hat
’sf
or
sur
e.Mi
alaughed
Mia:
youcoul
dsayt
hat
.Yourf
ri
endsneedt
o
compli
menty
ou
Kenny:Isee.Wel
lthenYol
awel
comet
othe
squad
Iwasalittl
econfused.Di
dthi
smeanthatthey
wereall
friends?MisoandMichel
l
ewereina
worl
doft heirownyouwouldswearwedidn’
t
evenexi
st
Mi
ke:
sowhatar
eyouguy
sdoi
ngher
eany
way
?
Lexi
:toshopf
orout
fi
tsf
ort
omor
row’
spar
ty
Mi
so:
andshe’
scomi
ng?
 
Hesai
dpoi
nti
ngatme
Michel
l
e:you’
dbesurpr
isedwhatmycut
e
puppyeyescanachi
eve
Miso:
youdon’
thav
etot
ell
me.I
’
m af
ool
for
t
hem
Iwassoannoy
ed
Asht
on:
Ilookf
orwar
dtoseei
ngy
out
her
elady
Me:
sur
e
Mia:okby
eguy
s.Mi
sol
eav
emyf
ri
endal
one
pl
ease
Mi
so:
your
eal
l
yneedaboy
fri
endal
ready
Mi
ke:
whenshe’
soutofv
arsi
ty 
Mi
a:by
eboy
s.
WelefttheguysanddroveofftoAshant
i’
s,a
hi
ghclassrest
aurantownedbyMi a’
smom.We
hadlunchandtheMisoandMi kecametojoin
usandt ur
nsoutMiaandMi kewil
lmiss
tomor r
ow’ spart
ybecausetheressomer oyal
whatev erthatt
heyhavetoattend.Iwasn’t
goingtogowi t
houtMiashameandIwasy etto
tel
lther estoft
hesquad.Ifeelsogrown
becausenowIhav easquad.SheandIdr ove
togetherseeingthatweli
vedinthesame
buil
ding.
Her
:mom doesn’
tgett
hatwey
oungandwe
hav
epl
ans
Me:
I’
m sor
ryf
ri
end
Her:i
tjustpi
ssesmeof ft
hatweal wayshaveto
dropourplanslastmi nutejustsowecan
enter
tai
nsomer oyalfamili
eswi t
houtreal
li
ves.
Mywor dtheirki
dsar esof akebruh.Thepeople
theyfor
ceust omi ngl
ewi th
Ij
ustlaughed.Mi
aisafunspir
itsot
owi
tness
herbeingmadorpissedi
sfunny.
Me:
you’
l
lbef
inef
ri
end.Youwontdi
e
Her
:somet
imesIwi
shIcoul
dswi
tchl
i
vesy
ou
know
Ijustnodded.Iwoul dn’
tknowl etalone
under standrichpeopleproblemsconsi dering
wher eIcomef rom sono.Idon’ tknow.Mi aand
Iwer ei nherplacewi t
hherpacki nghernew
clothesi nhercloset.Herplacelookedfit
enoughf orapr i
ncess.Shehadl otsofpictures
i
nherr oom andabi gcol
lageboar dont hewall.
Iwasl ookingatthebeautif
ul coll
ageandl ooks
l
ikeshe, herbrotherandMisogowayback
becauset hewer ebabypicturesofthethreeof
them
.
.
ToBeCont
inued
[
05/
10,08:
14]Ron:
**THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#09
.
.
Sofrom whatIgat
hered,Misoi
solderbyafew
monthsthanMichaelandthenMichaeli
sayear
ol
derthanMia…wellmorelikesomemont hs
ol
derbutyouknowhowguy sarewit
hageand
al
l.MiaandIwerethesameage.
Me:
who’
sthi
swi
thy
ourmom?
Her:
t hat’
sauntYaya,Miso’
smom andonthe
ot
herpi ct
urethat
’sherandMiso’
sdaduncl
e
Der
rick
Me:
mmhni
ce
Her:canItel
lyousomet
hing?buty
ouneedto
promisenottoutt
erawordtoanyoft
hegir
ls
aboutthi
sok
Me:
uhhm ok
Her
:pr
omi
sef
ir
st.
Me:
fineIpr
omi
se
Her
:Mi
sowast
heonewhoaskedmet
ogot
o
thepart
ytomorrow.Heandmybr ot
herli
venext
doorbytheway.Theguycantstopt al
ki
ng
aboutyou.Hewast heonewhoev enconvinced
met obefr
iendyou.Iknowitsev
ilofmebutI
neededtoknowt hi
sgirlt
hat’
sgotmybr ot
her’s
hearti
nherhands.I’
m sorry
Ikeptqui
et.SoifMi sowasn’ti
nt erest
edinme
thenIwouldstil
lbeal oner
?Gr eat!Waytogo.
WhydidIev enthinkthatsomeonel i
keme
wouldbefriendswithapr i
ncesst obeginwi
th?
Her
:Yol
apl
easesaysomet
hing
Me:
Ishoul
dgo.
Iwenttotakemybagandheadedfort
hedoor
butshestoodi
nfr
ontofmebeforeIcoul
dopen
thedoor.
Her:
Iknowyoumadandyouhaveever
yr eason
tobebutmeappr
oachi
ngyouwasgenuine
Yol
a. 
Me:
pleasemov
eMi
a
Her
:pl
easesayy
ouf
orgi
vemef
ir
st
Me:whatkindoffri
endareyou?Youknowyour
br
otheri
sdatingyourbestfr
iendandt
henyou
goonandbef ri
endthegi
rlheseemsto
pr
obablybedistr
actedby.WhodoesthatMi
a?
Her
:Mi
chel
l
eandMi
soar
en’
tdat
ing.
Me:
what
?
Her:theyj
ustscrewbutthat’
sasfarasitgoes
wit
ht hetwoofthem.Mi chel
l
e’sboyf
ri
endisin
Harvardandshei sher
e
Me:
sowhat
?Mi
ajustmov
e
Her:pl
easej
usther
emeoutandI
’
llgetoutof
yourwayIpr
omise
Shelookedatmewit
hpl
eadi
ngeyesandIf
ell
fort
hem andshepul
l
edmetosi
tonthecouch.
Her:Michell
eandMi sodidmeetl astyearand
theydecidedonjustscr
ewi ng,t
heydidn’tknow
theyweregoingtostudyint hesamev arsit
y
unti
ltheyranint
oeachot herthi
sy ear
.Mi so
sawy ouaroundhereandhe’ sbeentr
yingto
gatherball
stoapproachy oubuthe’
salway s
chickenedoutunti
lthatday.HeaskedMi chell
e
toactashisgirl
fr
iendjustsohecouldgety ou
j
ealousorseewher ey oustandwit
hthewhol e
him andMichell
ething.Theguyreal
lyl
ikesy ou
Yolaandhewoul dreallyl
ovetoseeyouatt he
partytomorrow
Me:
canIl
eav
enow?
Her
:fi
ne
Igotupandwentoutandgoti
nthel
i
ft
Voi
ce:
hol
dthel
i
ftpl
ease
Ipr
essedt
hebutt
ontoopent
hedoorandMi
so
wal
kedinandst
oodnextt
ome
Hi
m:Mi
ssGr
aham
Ikeptqui
etanddi
dn’
trespond
Hi
m:okandt
hen?
Isl
appedhi
m.don’
taskwhy
,Ial
sodon’
tknow
whyIwouldslaphim.IguessIwaspissedat
whatMiatol
dmeandIj ustneededt
ohit
somet
hingorinhiscase,someone.
Hi
m:Whatt
hef
uck?
!
Hesai
dhol
dinghi
scheek.
Me:
Miat
oldme
Hi
m:y
eahso?
Me:
yousuchaj
erk!
Hest oppedthel
iftandthencagedmeby
putti
nghishandsonei t
hersideofmybody
tr
appingme.Hewasst arr
ingatmei ntheeyes.
Iwasbr eat
hingi
nt heai
rhewasl ett
ingout,
his
breathsmeltoffr
eshmi ntandhiscolognewas
doingwonder st
omybody .
Him:fr
om thefi
rstti
meImety ouIhav enever
beenabletost
opt hi
nkingaboutyouYolanda.
I
’veseenyouwiththatguythat’
snormall
yhere
toseeyouwiththeblackcarandIdon’tcare
whatrel
ati
onyouhav ewithhim butIwi
llst
opat
not
hingunt
ily
oumygi
rlandmi
neal
one!
Ichuckl
edsar
cast
ical
l
yandbi
tmyl
owerl
i
p
Me:
mov
e.
Hi
m:no!
Me:
Misokushl
emov
eoutofmyway
Hi
m: Il
ovet
hewayy
ousaymynamebyt
heway
.
i
tscute
Hesmi
ledtot
hesidesendi
ngimpul
sesdownt
o
myspi
ne.Whatwasgoingonwit
hme?
Hi
m: Godthet
hingsIwoul
ddot
oyoui
fyou
wer
emi ne
Me:
thant
hankGodI
’
llnev
erbe…y
our
s
Him:Idon’
tmi
ndchasi
ngy
out
hewhol
eyear
unti
lyoual
lmi
ne.
Hest eppedawayf r
om meandcl i
ckedonthe
l
iftanditstar
tedworkingagai
n.Ikeptqui
etall
thewayandsodi dhe.Itst
oppedonmyf l
oor
andIgotof fi
nstant
lyandheadedtomydoor .I
openedthedoorandl ockeditt
henwenttoput
myt hi
ngsint
heirplaceandt hr
ewmyselfonthe
bed.Whatthehellwast hat
?Iwaswokenupby
myphone,onthescr eenpoppedupToby ’
s
name.
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:HeyRed
Me:
hiTobi
as
Hi
m:I
’
m out
side,
coul
dyoucomeout
?
Normall
yIwoul dn’
tmindhi
mjustrocki
ngup
l
ikehedidnowbutnowIsuddenl yminded.If
elt
l
ikehewasabusi nghi
spower.Wegetithe
doeseveryt
hingformebuttojustr
ockup
unannouncediswrong.
Me:
fineI
’
m onmyway
*
**EndPC*
**
Idi
dn’tevenwaitforhi
mt osayany thingfur
ther
.
Iworemysl i
ppersandaj acketbecauseitwas
ali
tt
lewindyandt henheadedout .Ispott
edhis
carandwalkedovert
oitandgoti
nthe
passenger
sside.
Hi
m:y
oul
ookgood
Me:
thanks.Yout
oo
Him:uhhm RedI
’
m goi
ngt
oSout
hAf
ri
caandI
’
ll
bebackaft
eramonth
Me:
oh
Him:Ashlenewi
l
lbefet
chi
ngyouwhenschool
s
cl
oseandMunchkinwil
lst
aywit
hyouguysunt
il
I’
m back
Me:
wheny
oubackschool
swoul
dhav
eopened
Hi
m:IknowsoI
’
llcomev
isi
tyouher
e
Me:
ok
Hi
m:y
ouok?
Me:
yeahI
’
mfi
ne
Hi
m:y
ousur
e?
Me:
yep.Act
ual
l
yno.Tobi
aswhydi
dyouki
ss
me?
Hi
m:I
twasami
stake
Me:
fuckt
hat
!
Hi
m:Idon’
tknowwhatel
sey
ouwantt
ohear
Me:t
het
rut
h.Youki
ssmeandt
hengoMI
Aon
me
Him:whatdoy ouwantmet osayYolanda?
ThatI’
m madlyinl
ovewithyou?Ist
hatwhat
youwanttohear?Thati
fIpursueda
rel
ati
onshi
pwithyouitwouldrui
neverythi
ngwe
havegoingonnowandt hatI
’dbearr
estedf or
stat
utor
yrape
Ikeptqui
ettryi
ngtoswall
owwhatTobi ashad
j
usttoldme.Thisist
hethingwithTobiastel
l
ing
mehowhef eel
saboutme, i
tcameunexpected,
yesRitol
dmebutatst i
llIhadacceptedinmy
mindthatheandIwouldnev erbeandthenall
ofasuddenhecomesandconf usesme
makingmef eelsometypeofway .Iwas
screwed.Andt hent heresMi so,
he’sev eryt
hing
yum buthe’sanasshol eandhet hinkshecan
toywithmej ustlikethat.Theressomet hing
aboutMi sothatmakesy ouwantt oexplore
whilewithTobiashei sj ustanangel andIknow
him soitwouldn’tbesuchabadi deaeither
thantheaget hing.

Me:
trav
elsaf
elyTobi
as
Iopenedt hedoorandwalkedbackt othe
buil
ding.IfIdon’
tknow,Iwasconfused.Thisi
s
whathappenswheny ou’
veneverdatedinyour
l
ifeandt hencomest woguysandy oujustl
eft
ther
econf usedandunknowingwhatt odo.Igot
tomyr oom andcalledmyli
ttl
esist
er.Wet al
k
every
dayany way
.
*
**PC*
**
Her
:heysi
si
Me:
heysunshi
ne
Her
:thatnamei
sli
mit
edt
oit
sowner
Me:
yeahwhat
everI
vy.Howar
eyou?
Her
:goodsi
sandhowar
eyou?
Me:
I’
m ok
Her
:what
sthatt
oneI
’
m hear
ing?What
swr
ong?
Me:
not
hing.Ij
ustmi
ssmyl
i
ttl
esi
stert
hat
’sal
l
Her
:justonemor
eweekandI
’
m home
Me:
Tobi
asi
sleav
ingf
oramont
h
Her
:yeahhet
oldmey
est
erday
Me:am Ialwayst
hel
astonet
oknowabout
t
hesethings?
Her:
wef
igur
edy
ou’
dbet
hemostdi
ff
icul
tone
her
esoy
eah
Me:
right
…ofcausey
oudi
d
Her
:het
oldmeabouty
out
woki
ssi
ng
Me:
ofcausehedi
d
Her
:her
eal
l
yli
kesy
ouLal
a
Me:
Idon’
tknowI
vy.I
twoul
drui
nev
ery
thi
ng
Her:sowhat
?Your
atherl
i
vet
hiswayt
hanbe
wit
hhim?
Me:
itswr
ong.He’
s10y
ear
sol
dert
hanme
Her
:ageai
ntnot
hingbutanumber
Me:
don’
tsayt
hat
! 
Her:
youclear
lyl
ikehi
m.gof
ori
tandst
op
pl
ayi
ngaround.Hesagoodmansi
s
Me:
Iknow.
 
Her
:Ihav
etogo.St
udyt
ime
Me:
Ilov
eyou
Her
:Il
ovey
oumor
e.By
e
Me:
bye
*
**EndPC*
**
Ij
ustsl
eptthi
nkingaboutwhatmyli
tt
lesist
er
wassuggesti
ng.Idi
all
edhisnumberwhichI
knewbyheart
.
[
05/
10,08:
14]Ron:
*THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#10
.
.
Heanswer
edaf
terawhi
l
e
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:Redi
sev
ery
thi
ngok?
Me:
TIwantt
oseey
ou.
Hi
m:uhhm ok.I
’
m onmyway
Me:
thanks.
*
**EndPc*
**
Iwentt
of r
eshenup,thatbei
ngshoweri
ngand
get
ti
ngallcl
eanedupandt henworeadress
andmysleepers…shootme!theycomfyok!I
wait
edforhiscal
l,
myhear twasraci
ngoutof
mychestbeatingabnor mallyev
en.Myhands
wereal
lsweatyandIwassuddenl yvery
nerv
ousandal soscar ed.Myphoneranginmy
handIalmostdr oppedit,i
twashim.Ididn’
t
answerandjustwal kedoutandusedthestair
s
hopi
ngthattheywoul dcalm medown.Igoti n
hi
scarandfast enedmybel t.
Hi
m:y
ouwant
edt
oseeme
Me:
pleasecanwegohome
Hi
m:uhhm ok.i
sev
ery
thi
ngokRed?
Me:
yes.Pl
easej
ustdr
iveushome
Hi
m:ok.
Wedr ovehomeandwhenwepar kedi
ntheyar
d
ther
ewasanot hercarparkedr
ightnextt
ohi
s
spot.I
twasn’tacarIknewandheseemedj ust
asconfused.Webot hgotout
Me:
expect
ingsomeone?
Hi
m:no.
Wewal kedtowardsthedoorandt her
estooda
womanIhav enev erseennotevenonhisphone
orsocialmedi
abutgoodGodshewasamodel .
Shehadt obe.Shewasbeaut i
fulandsexyin
way sIdi
dn’
tthi
nkexi st
ed.Herhairwas
brunett
eandshewasv erysl
enderwithafl
at
tummyandbi gboobsandass.Shewasanhour
glass.
 
Her
:Toby
Ohsosheget stocallhi
m TobyandI’m not
al
lowed…mh.Shepul ledhimi nf
orahugand
heresponded.Forsomer easonIwasjeal
ous.
WhywasIj eal
ous?Shecoul dbeanoldfri
end-
oranoldfli
ng-andtheregoesmysubconscious.
Hebrokethehug.
Hi
m:Mar
y-Annwhatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Her:whatki
ndofquesti
onisthat
?Icamet o
seeyousil
ly
.IwasintownandIfiguredIj
ust
havetoseeyou.Uhhm who’
sthelit
tl
egirl
?
Ichuckl
edsar
cast
ical
l
y.May
bei
t’
stheshoes
t
hatmakehert
hinkI
’
m al
i
ttl
egi
rl
Him: t
hisi
suhhm…Re..ImeanYol
anda.
Yolandathi
sisMar
y-Ann
Her
:hi
sgi
rl
fr
iend
Inodded.
Me:ni
cetomeety ou.Tpleasedr
ivemetomy
f
lat
,Ihavet
hisassignmentIneedtof
ini
shand
i
tsduetoni
ghtat12am
Hi
m:uhhm
Mary
:justrequestheranuber
.YouandIhav
ea
l
otofcatchinguptodobabe.
Him:uhhm Mar
yher
ear
ethekey
sandI
’
llbe
backok
Her
:butbabe
Him:yourockedupunannounced.Ican’
tjust
cancelmyplansfory
ou
SonowI’m apl
an.Iwentf
rom bei
ngRedi
na
spl
i
tsecondtobeingYol
andaandnowI’
m hi
s
pl
ans…greatone.Sheunl
ockedt
hedoorand
wal
kedin.
Me: I
’
m sureyoudon’
twanttokeepy our
gir
lf
ri
endwai t
ing“
Toby”
.I’
l
lrequestanuberas
shesuggested
Isai
dwal
ki
ngawayandhegr
abbedmyar
m
Hi
m:what
’st
hemat
terYol
anda
Me:
sonowI
’
m nol
ongerRed…gr
eat
Hi
m:stopact
ingchi
l
dishandj
ustsaywhat
ever
i
tisy
ouwanttosay
Me:Idon’twantt
osayanyt
hingTobi
as.Now
pl
ease,Ihaveanassi
gnmenttof
ini
sh
Hi
m:wel
lthenl
etmet
akey
oubackt
oyour
pl
ace
Me:
I’
ll
getacab
Hi
m:dammityoucanbesodi
ff
icul
t.Justgeti
n
t
hedamncarYolanda.
Ikeptqui
etandwal
kedt
othecar
,heopened
thedoorf ormeandclosedi
tandthengotinhi
s
sideandt henwedrov
eof fi
nsil
ence.Wegotto
mybui l
dingandheparkedacrossthest
reet
.
Hi
m:y
ouaskedmet
ocomeov
erf
orar
eason
Me:
yeahandI
’
vef
orgot
tent
hatr
eason
Hi
m:howconv
eni
entt
hatyoufor
getwhenMar
y
-
Annsay
sshe’
smygir
lf
ri
end.
 
Me:
byeTobi
as
It
ri
edopeni
ngt
hedoorbuti
twasl
ocked
Him:Annismyex, sheandIbr okeupbeginni
ng
l
astyearwhenhermodel li
ngcareertookoff
andIsuddenlydi
dn’tfi
therimageany moreand
soshemov edtoMi l
anwithhernewact or
boyf
riendandIwasl ef
ttopickupt hepi
eces.
Shegav ememyr i
ngbackandt hatwastheend
ofus.Idon’
tknowwhatshe’ sdoingbackhere
Isti
ll
didn’tr
espond.If
eltsor
ryforhi
m butat
thesamet imeIdidn’
tshowitbecauseIwasa
l
itt
letoojealousofpr
ett
ymuchev eryt
hingand
thatwomanmademefeell
it
tl
einmyown
homeandhedidn’
tdoany
thi
ngabouti
t.
Me:
pleaseopent
hisdoor
Hi
m:f
ine.
HeunlockedthedoorandIgotoutandwent
backt
omybui l
ding.Onmywayupst ai
rsI
bumpedintoMi so.Youhav
egottobeki ddi
ng
me!Iwasr unni
ngupt hest
air
sthatItr
ippedon
oneandfellri
ghtint
ohisar
ms. 
Hi
m:di
dn’
tyourpar
ent
steachy
ounev
ert
orun
upt
hest
air
s
Hewasst il
lhol
dingme.Wewer esocloseto
eachonewoul dthi
nkwejustshar
edthe
great
estkissofall
timesandwerenowj ustl
ost
i
neachot her’
seyes
Me:uhm t
hanksf
orcat
chi
ngme.y
oucanl
etgo
now
Him:youlookbeaut
if
ul.It
houghty
oudi
dn’
tgo
outatni
ght
Me:
Ijustcamebackf
rom awal
k
Hi
m:Isee.Ar
eyouok?
Me:
yeahI
’
mfi
ne
Hi
m:y
oucr
ying.Tal
ktomeBut
ter
cup
Ikeptqui
et.ShouldIorshoul
dInot?whatif
he…arghnehIdon’ tknowhim wel
lenoughto
tel
lhi
m aboutmy self
. 
Hi
m:comeI
’
llmakey
out
ea.
Wewal kedt otheli
ftandhepressedthe9t
h
but
ton.Ilookedathi m andhedidn’
tsay
any
thinginsteadhepr essedonhisphoneanda
whi
lelateritrang
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:mom
….
Hi
m:I
’
llbet
her
etomor
rowaf
tercl
ass
….
Hi
m:somet
hingcameupandIcan’
tcomenow
….
Hi
m:IknowYay
aandIwi
l
lmakei
tupt
oyou
….
Hi
m:Il
ovey
oumor
eYay
a.By
enow
*
**EndofPC*
**
Theelevatorst
oppedandhepull
edmyhandto
hi
sflat.I
twasclean,t
hekit
chenwascl
eanfora
guy…ar ugbyguytobeexact.
 
Him:wel
comet
othemancave.Hav
en’
treal
l
y
hadsometi
metoti
dyupmuch
Il
ookedaroundandall
I’
mt hi
nki
ngis“ What
doeshemean? ”
.Thi
splacewascleanerthan
myplace.He’
sprobabl
yaneatfr
eakt hat
’sal
l.
 
Hi
m:pl
easemakey
our
sel
fcomf
ort
abl
e
Isatonthehighchairandrest
edmyar
mson
theki
tchencounterandhewenttot
hestov
e
andstart
edprepari
ngmyt ea.
Him:shoul
dIaddmar
shmal
l
owsi
nyourhot
chocol
ateor?
Me:
nomar
shmal
l
owst
hanks
Hi
m:al
right
ythen.
 
Whenhewasdonehel edt hewayt othelounge
andhehadabi gflatscreent vont hewal l
.
Ther ewereal otofpicturesar oundher e.Some
ofhi m andsomegi r
l,someofhi m andhi smom
I’
m assumi ngandsomeofMi chaelandhis
fami l
yandl i
keMi atherewasabi gf r
amewi tha
collageofpi ct
ureswitht heheadi ng“Fami l
yIs
Power ”,aquot efr
om TheOr iginalssaidby
Eli
jahMi kaelsontoNi kl
aus.Webot hsatdown
ont hecouchandhehandedmemycupandI
tookasi p.Itwast hebestIhadev ertast
ed.
Him:mom al
wayssaysIputal
otofsugar
,I
hopei
t’
snottoosweet
Me:
it’
sper
fectact
ual
l
y
Hi
m:t
hanky
ouBut
ter
cup.Sowantt
otel
lme
whyy
ouwer
eupsetear
li
er?
It
houghtf
orami
nut
e
Him:I
fit
’syourboyf
ri
endIwon’
tjudgeorsay
shi
itt
odisshim.Ipr
omise
Me:I’
mj ustov
err
eact
ingov ernot
hingand
Tobi
asisnotmyboy f
riend.He’sj
ustsomeoneI
l
ivewit
h
Hi
m:ok.Whatdi
dhedo?
Me:
I’
mjustbei
ngdr
amat
ict
hat
’sal
l
Him:I
’
m sur
eyounot.hemusthavedone
somethi
ngf
oryout
obet hatupset
Me:
it’
snot
hing
Hi
m:it
sokifyoudon’
twantt
otal
k.Whatt
ime
i
syourcl
asst
omorrow?
Me:
at10…why
?
Hi
m:per
fect
.Let
’swat
chamov
ie,
yourchoi
ce
Igav
ehi
m al
ook
Hi
m:what
?
Me:
whatar
eyouupt
o?
Him:nothing.youdon’twanttotalkandIwon’
t
for
cey outoo.soratherthanjustsit
ti
ngi
n
awkwar dsil
encelet
swat chmov ies.Whi
ch
mov i
edoy ouwantt owat ch,
pleasedon’
tpi
ck
TheVow
Me:
whynoti
t?
Hi
m:becausemom andMelodyar
esucker
sfor
t
hatmovi
e.Idon’
tknowhowmanyt i
mes
t
hey’
vemademewat chi
tandtheycr
yever
y
t
ime.
Me:
that
’st
heoneIwantt
owat
ch
Hi
m: canIsuggestacomedyi
nst
ead?I
t’
sst
il
l
gi
rl
y
Me:
butIwantacut
esappyl
ovest
ory
Hi
m:f
ine.Yourpi
ckany
way
Heconnect
edhi
slapt
opt
othet
vandpl
ayed
thevow.It
’sabeautif
ulmov i
eaboutawoman
andherhusband,theygetintoanaccident
whichcausesthewomant ohaveamnesi a
wherebyshedoesn’trememberherlifeaft
er
shemetherhusband.I t
’scuteandalsosad.By
theti
meitwasf i
nishIwasi ntear
s.
Hi
m:pl
easedon’
ttel
lmey
oucr
ying
Iwaslay
ingonhi
schestwi
thhi
m ont
hecouch.
Isni
ff
ed
Me:
noI
’
m notcr
ying
Hi
m:y
ouwer
ecr
ying.Yousuchagi
rl
Me:
shutup!
Hi
m:makeme
Il
ookedathim andlookedatmeandhel i
fted
upmychinandpul l
edmecl oserst
il
lnot
br
eakingey
econt actandhemov edhispi
nklips
cl
osertomine
.
.
ToBeCont
inued
[
05/
10,09:
20]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#11
.
.
Iwassol ostinhisbeaut ifulpl
umpl i
pst hatI
evenf orgotaboutmyf eelingsforTobias.This
waswr ongy etitfel
tsor ightandsodamngood.
Itwassl owandunr ushedandj ustperf
ect,it
wasl ikehej ustwant edt osav ourmyl i
psand
j
ustownt hem f orasl ongashecanast hough
hewasnev ergoingt oki ssthem again.Icould
feelmy selfgetti
ngwetdownt hereandIcoul d
feelhismanhoodgr owi ng.Hebr okeitand
l
ookedatmewi thhisnowsmal l
seductiveeyes
andr emov edhai rfr
om myf ace.
Hi
m:hav
eyouev
erwat
chedTheOt
herWoman?
Ishookmyheadno.Wai twhywashe
pretendi
nglikewedidn’
tjusthav
ethegr eat
est
ki
ssknownt ohumanity
?Whywasn’ thet al
ki
ng
aboutit?Whydoguy sdot hi
stome?am I
cursed?CanInotkiss?Ithastobethat.I
probablysuckatt
hiswhol eki
ssi
ngthing.
Hi
m: nahyoumightcryagaini
nbetween.Let
’s
watchsomethi
ngelseinst
ead.How’suKnowing?
I
t’
sani cemovi
e
Me:
Idon’
tknowi
t
Hi
m:per
fect
.Yougoi
ngt
oenj
oyi
t
Me:
andi
fIdon’
t?
Hi
m:t
henwe’
l
lwat
chsomet
hingy
oul
i
ke.
 
HeplayedknowingandIwentbackt omy
comfortabl
epositi
onandj ustwatchedthe
mov i
e.I
twasani nterest
edmov ieandli
kehe
said,
Iwasenjoyingitunti
lwewer edist
urbedby
hisphoneri
nging.
Hi
m:sor
ryf
oronesecond
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:Yanga
Yanga:y
hey i
wenandi
mdal
akunawe(
heyy
ou
I
’m ol
derthanyou)
Hi
m:onl
ybyf
oury
ear
s.Uf
unani
?
Yanga:
what?Uhl
eli
necher
ryapho?(
yousi
tt
ing
wit
hagirl
ther
e?)
Him:y
ah.Thet
hauf
unani
?(y
es,
speakwhatdo
youwant
?)
Yanga:checka,u-
Mamauneny eiweingomso
anditai
maal i
zubakhoandyoutheonlyone
ther
esokepl easego(mom hasthisthi
ng
tomorrowanddadwon’ tbear
ound)
Him:ni
njal
okenina!Uphikant
iuKyl
enoAy a?
(
thisi
showy ouguysare.Where’
sKyleandAya)
Yanga:Kyl
eisatwork.Ay
a’scl
assesendlat
e.
youtheonl
yone.Pleasej
ustgosupportmom
dude
Hi
m:f
ine.I
t’
snotl
i
keIhav
eachoi
ceany
way
.
Yanga:
Iowey
ouone
Hi
m:whatt
imedoIneedt
obet
her
e?
Yanga:
it’
saround8Ithi
nk.Oneofherchi
l
dren
hastobethereseei
ngthatdadwon’
tmakeit
Hi
m:f
ine.
Yanga:
thanksl
i
ttl
eman
*
**EndofPC*
**
Yangaendedthecal
lbef
orehecoul
dev
en
respond.Hepr
essedpl
ay
Me:
ever
ythi
ngok?
Hi
m:sor
tof
.Ihav
etomakeaqui
ckphonecal
l
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:Ma
Her
:heybabywhat
’sup?
Him:whyam Iget
ti
ngacal
lfr
om Yangaandnot
you?
Her
:about
?
Hi
m: l
aweiy
akhoi
ngomso(
thi
sthi
ngofy
our
s
t
hat’
stomorr
ow)
Her
:Idi
dn’
taskYangatocal
lyou.If
igur
edI
wasgoi
ngtoaskyoutomorr
owwhenIseey ou
Hi
m:al
i
ttl
eheadsupmay
be
Her:I
’m sor
ry.Iknowhowmuchy ouhat
ethese
thi
ngs.That’
swhyIdi dn’
taskyouto
accompanymei nthefi
rstpl
ace
Hi
m:f
ine.I
’
m br
ingi
ngsomeonet
hou
Her
:that
’sf
inebymeasl
ongasshe’
spr
ett
y
Hi
m:by
eMaf
aku
Her
:by
ebaby
.7pm shar
p
*
**EndofPC*
**
Si
nceIwaslayi
ngonhi schestIcouldhear
ever
ythi
ngf
rom theothersi
deoft heli
ne.Hi
s
phonewasthatl
oud…ormay beit
sbecauseI
wasonhischestsoyeah.
Him:howdoy oufeel
aboutatt
endinganar
t
exhi
bit
ionmeetandgreetsor
tofthing?
Me:
huh?
Hepausedt
het
v.
Hi
m: t
omorr
owther
e’sanar
tthi
ngyorwhat
ever
ar
ound7pm.Pl
easecomewithme
Me:
uhhm Idon’
tknow
Hi
m:pleasesayyes.Ican’
tgother
ealoneand
mysi
blingsall
can’
tmakeitandit’
simport
ant
t
omom t hatoneofusbetherewit
hher
Me:
youwantmet
omeety
ourmot
her
?
Him:i
fyouwantt
omeethert
hensur
ethi
ngy
ou
canmeetherwhi
l
ewether
e
Me:
I…uhhm
Him:noneedtowor
ryaboutwhatt
owear
.I’
l
l
havei
tcover
ed
Me:butIpr
omisedthegir
lsI
’
dgot
othef
rat
par
tywit
hthem tomorr
ow
Hi
m:yeahwel
lthenunpr
omi
se.Theywon’
t
mi
nd
Me:
itdoesn’
twor
kli
ket
hat
. 
Hi
m:I’
m surey
ou’l
lhavemorefunatthecent
re
t
hanatsomefratpar
ty.Besi
des,
MikeandI
won’
tevenbether
e. 
Me:
Iwasn’
tgoi
ngt
her
efory
ouguy
s
Hi
m: ei
therway ,
wet hel
ifeoft
hepartyand
wi
thoutusitwillbebori
ngAF.Pleasej
ustcome
wi
thme.Atl eastther
eyou’l
lbewithMia
Me:
I’
m st
il
lmadatMi
a
Hi
m: pl
easebemadatmei
nst
ead.Sheonl
ydi
d
i
tforme
Me:
yeahy
our
ight
Hi
m:pleasecal
lherandtel
lhery
ouf
orgi
veher
t
hatwayshe’l
lst
opbeingmadatme
Me:
no.y
oudeser
vei
t!
Hi
m:atl
easty
ounotmadatmesoi
t’
sawi
n
Itooktheremoteandpr
essedplay
.Aft
erthe
mov i
eIgotupandaskedhimtoaccompanyme
tomyr oom andhedidj
ustt
hat.Wegottothe
doorandIopened
Hi
m:t
hanksf
ort
rust
ingmet
oday
Me:
Idi
dn’
tsayIt
rusty
ou
Him:y
oucamet omyapar
tmentandyoustayed
andwatchedmovi
eswi
thmealone.That
’str
ust
Me:
what
ever
.By
eMi
so
Hi
m:by
eBut
ter
cup
Heki ssedmycheekandwal kedtot heelevator
.
Iclosedt hedoorandj ustmel t
ed.Icouldstil
l
smel lhim onmydr ess.Thesepeopl ethatwear
expensi vecolognes.Iwentt obedandsl ept
i
nst antlywit
houtev enchecki ngmyphone.The
fol
lowi ngdayIwokeupwi thadozenmi ssed
call
sf rom Tobyandsomef rom Ri andMi a.Mia
evensentmecount lesstextsapologisi
ngand
sodi dToby .Iwentf rom bei
ngt heschool
whor etobei ngagi r
lthatguysbegt obewi th…
howdi dthathappen?Ical l
edRi andtoldher
everythingandl ikemeshewassuddenl y
confused.Idi dn’twantt otell
mysi sterbecause
shei ssetonTobyandwi ll
probablydiscourage
what everImi ghtt hi
nkIhav ewithMiso.Idi dn’
t
seehi m oncampus…Iwonderwher ehewas.
AfterclassIwal kedhomeandonmywayacar
stoppednextt omeandt hepersongotout .it
wasonl ythenthatIr eali
zeditwasMi so.He
wasdr i
vingabl ackt wodoorJaguarandhehad
cuthi s“Chancet herapper”afr
o.Hecuti ti
ntoa
brushcutandi tonl ymadehi ml ookev en
hotter. 
Hi
m:hopi
n
Me:
youcuty
ourhai
r
Hi
m:y
epandy
ourhai
rishangi
ngl
ooset
oday
Ihi
thim pl
ayf
ull
yandwebothlaughed.Igot
i
nsideandheclosedt
hedoorformeandwent
togeti
nhissideanddrov
eoff
. 
Me:
andt
hehai
rcut
?
Him:wellsuchthi
ngsoneneedstocleanup
pret
tywell
.Don’twannaembarr
assthefamil
y
andtauntthei
rname
Me:
yourf
ami
l
ymustbeabi
gshot
Hi
m:bei
ngaBessi
sabl
essi
ngandacur
se
Me:
didy
ouj
ustsayy
ou’
reaBess?
Hi
m:y
eah.It
houghty
ou’
dknowbynow
Me:Il
iv
eunderar
ock.Sor
ry.Whatr
elat
iondo
youhavet
oMJBess?
Him:he’
smybrot
her
…howdoy
ouknowhi
mif
youdon’
tknowme?
Me:
he’
sat
utoratYal
e?
Hi
m:y
eah…howdoy
ouknowmybr
otheragai
n?
Me:afr
iendofmi
nestudi
esthereandthey
bumpedint
oeachot
hertheotherday
Hi
m:oh…
Me:
yeah.Youj
ustpassedourbui
l
ding,
wher
e
t
o?
Him:t
oBev erl
yhi
l
lst
ofi
ndt
heper
fectdr
essf
or
youButt
ercup.
Ir
oll
edmyey
es
Me:
whosai
dIdi
dn’
thav
eadr
ess?
Hi
m:I’
m sur
eyoudobutagir
lcanneverhav
e
t
oomanydressesnow…atl
eastt
hat’
swhat
mom say
s
Me:
you’
reamama’
sboyhuh?
Hi
m:don’
tyoul
ovey
ourmom?
Me:
uhhm sowher
ear
eweget
ti
ngt
hisdr
ess?
Hi
m:Idon’
tknow.we’
ll
checkever
ywher
eunt
il
wefi
ndyousomethi
ngper
fect
.
Me:
sur
ethi
ng.
 
Onthewaywewer el
isteningt
ot healbum Bad
Hai
rbyNastyC…orsoMi sosays.He’saSouth
Afr
icanar
ti
standhedropsbarsf ordays.I
’
m
notbi
gonhiphopaspersaybutIdoappr
eciat
e
goodmusi
candthat’
sBadhair
…Goodmusi c.
Hewasrappi
ngalongandhewasgood
Me:
your
ap?
Hi
m:nah
Me:
thenwhatdoy
oucal
lwhaty
oudoi
ng?
Hi
m:kar
aoke!
Ichuckl
edandlethi
m be.Hewasact ual
l
ynot
suchabadguyaf t
eral
l.Imisjudgedhim.let
’s
hopehewon’tchangeaftersomet i
me.
.

[
05/
10,09:
20]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#12
.
.
Afterthear texpoMi soandIhav ehungouta
l
otandi t’
sbeenamazi ngev erytime.Wehav en’t
ki
ssedagai nsi ncethatday .Hi smot heri san
amazi ngki ndwomanandshei sgoal s.She’ sso
youngf oraper sonwi th4ki dsandher ei smy
mot herwi t
hj usttwoandshel ooksl i
keshe’ si n
her50’ s.TobyandI ’
sr el
ationshipwasnev erthe
sameaf t
ert heMar y-Annsaga.HeandIwer e
str
ictl
yf r
iendsandImadei tcleartohi mt hat
wewer ebet teroffwitht herelati
onshi pwehad
i
nt hebegi nningandhesai dcool .School swer e
nowcl osedf orJuneandt ruthbet oldImi ssed
seeingMi soandt her estoft hesquad.Funny
howt hingschangedi njustal it
tl
eper iodoft ime.
Ariinvitedmeov ertoherhouse, eversi ncet he
i
ncidentwi thheruncl ehenev ersetfootatAr i
’s
homeagai n.Tobi aswassi tt
ingint hel ounge
busycl ickingonhi scomput er.
Me:
hey
Hi
m:hi
Me:
doy
ouhav
eami
nut
e?
Hi
m:y
eahsur
e
Me:Ar
ianaaskedmet
ovi
si
therf
ort
he
hol
i
days
Hi
m:oh
Me:
socanIgo?
Him:
y eahsur
e.WontI
vybehurtt
hough?
Cominghomewithyougone?
Me:Ial
readyspoketoherandshesaidsheand
Munchki
nwer egoi
ngonv acat
ogether
Hi
m:oh…shedi
dn’
tsayany
thi
ngt
ome
Me:
uhhmm…
Hi
m:I
’
lldr
ivey
ou
Me:y
oudon’
thav
eto.myf
ri
endi
spi
cki
ngme
up
Heshi
ft
edhiseyesfrom t
hescreenandl
ooked
atmebehi
ndhisreadinggl
asses
Hi
m:Ar
ianahasacarnow?
Me:
notAr
iana.Mi
so…
Hi
m: andwhoisshe?I
’
venev
erhear
dyou
t
alki
ngabouther
Me:
it’
sahe
Hi
m:sohe’
syourboy
fri
end?
Me:
wej
ustl
i
vei
nthesamebui
l
dingt
hat
’sal
l
Henoddedandhi seyeswentbackt ohi
s
comput erscreen.Iwalkedoutwi thmyt ai
l
betweenmyl egsandwentt omyr oom and
call
edMi sotelli
nghi m Iwasdonewi thprett
y
muchev er
ything.Wellnotreall
ybutmyt hings
werealreadypackedandIwasr eadytogo.He
call
edtelli
ngmehewasout si
de.Heknew
whereIl i
ved,he’stheonet hatbroughtmeher e
forEasterholidays.Iwenttosaymygoodby es
toTobias
Hi
m:i
sn’
tyourf
ri
endcomi
ngi
n?
Me:
uhhm
Hi
m: t
heleasty
oucoul
ddoistol
ethi
minso
t
hatIknowwhoy oul
eftwi
th
Me:
I’
ll
cal
lhi
mthen
Idraggedmysui t
caseandwentt
oputi
tinhi
s
carafterat
ightsqueeze
Hi
m:Hewhat
?
Me:
yephewant
stomeety
ou
Hi
m:okcool
Iwalkedi
nfi
rstandhefol
l
owedbehindme.
Tobiaswasstandi
ngi
ntheki
tchendri
nki
ng
water.
Me:TmeetMi
sokushl
eBess,
MisomeetTobi
as
Ev
ans
Icouldnev
erpr onouncehi snamepr oper
lyand
hewasokwi t
hi t
.hisnamei sXhosaandIcan’t
speakthelanguagel etalonepronouncei
ts
namesandi tscompl icated‘qs’
butdespi
teall
ofthathemakest hel ingosoundsexy.Hewas
teachi
ngmehowt ospeaki tandIwon’tl
iei
t’
s
beenhar
d.
T:
asi
nDer
ri
ckBess’
sson?
Mi
so:
yeahhi
slastbor
n
T:Ilastsawyouwhenyouwer eaki
d.Idoyour
father
’scompani
esaccount
ing…don’
tknowif
thatmakessense
Theybothlaughed.Ij
uststoodther
ewatching
them goonlikegoodoldfri
ends.Whyam Inot
surpr
isedtheyknoweachot her
?Misoknows
every
body.He’sthegreatsonofDerri
ckBess
andYandiswaGxabaBess.
Mi
so:
Dadi
sgoodandmom’
sgoodt
oo
T:
youshoul
dhal
a
Miso:
will
do.Uhhm weshoul
dgetgoi
ng,
don’
t
wanttoarr
iveatt
hecr
ibatni
ght
T:
andy
ourmom hat
espeopl
edr
ivi
ngatni
ght
Mi
so:
it’
sli
key
ouknowher
T:
sheoncescol
dedmef
ornotwant
ingt
o
spendt heni
ghtatherhouseaf
tery
ourdadand
Ifi
nishedlat
e
Mi
so:
yept
hat
’sheral
ri
ght
T:
takecar
eofmyki
dyoungBess
Mi
so:
alway
s.By
eToby
Me:
bye
T:
byeguy
s.Cal
lmewheny
ougett
her
e
Me:
wil
ldo
Ifel
tli
keachi
l
dgoingonadat
e.Wegott
othe
carMisodr
oveof
f
Hi
m:dadwon’
tbel
i
evet
hiswhenIt
ell
him
Ij
ustkeptqui
etandli
stenedtohispl
ayl
i
st.I
wasnevertol
dthatSouthAfr
icansmakesuch
goodmusic. 
Hi
m:l
i
stent
othi
s
“Ek’
seni
.Sthandwasaming’
phendul
eungbambi
ungangyekingakhol
onkelot
handosthandwa
angi
tshont
sheli
.Kozek’
phumiil
angaekseni
……
thandolwakhol ungi t
hathel ana,l
ungibekel ana,
l
angi susalana, langibekal anaohl ufi
kengasa
thembi ukuthingi yobeng’thandumunt u….”He
wassi ngingalongt othesongandIwon’ tli
eas
muchasIdi dn’tunder standwhathewassay i
ng
i
tf el
tgoodhear i
nghi m singal lt
hat.Therewas
somet hingabouthi m andthewayhesangt he
wor dsli
kehewasdecl ar
inghislovetomeor
somet hing
Hi
m:y
oudon’
tev
enknowwhati
tmeans
Hesai
dlaughi
ng
Me:yeahshootme.someofusweren’
tlucky
enoughtohavei
nter
raci
alpar
ent
s
Him:mydadisacolour
edandmom i spur
e
Xhosa…theynotr
eal
lyi
nter
raci
ali
fyouthi
nk
abouti
t
Il
ookedathi
m superconf
used
Him:myf
atheris50%Xhosaand50%Whi
te…
heist
hei
nterr
acial
one 
Me:howev
er,
youputi
t.ei
therwayy
ouami
xed
r
ace!
Him:weeehwhateverwhi
tegi
rl
.soar
en’
tyou
worr
iedyoumightbumpintoy
ourmom whil
e
youther
e?
Ikeptquiettry
ingtothi
nkwhattheatmosphere
wouldbel ikei
fIbumpedintoher.Thatwoman
putmet hroughhellsomet
imesIev enthought
shewasn’ tmymot her.
 
Hi
m:y
ouok?
Me: j
ustt
ryi
ngt othi
nkaboutwhati
twoul
dbe
l
ike.WhenIleftshewantedtosel
lmysi
sterf
or
sexsoIdon’tknow 
Him:Iknowyoudon’
twantt
ot al
kaboutt
his
butdoyouthi
nkyou’
deverf
orgiv
eher?
Me:
NO!
Him:howquicky ouweretosayno.She’
sstil
l
yourmotherdespit
eevery
thi
ngthathappened.
Youneedtoforgivehert
oclearyour
consci
ence
Me:
shedoesn’
tdeser
vemyf
orgi
venessMi
so
Him: IhearyouButt
ercupbutsomet i
meswe
don’tforgi
vepeopl
ef orthem butwedoi tf
or
ourselvessothatwecanr emov esomeoft he
deadwei ghtwecarryaround.It
’snothealt
hy.
Me:Amot herdoesn’thitherchil
dwhenshe
comesbackf r
om school empt yhanded.A
motherdoesn’tprostit
uteherchi l
dforherown
benefi
tsandamot hernot i
ceswhent heirchi
l
d
i
snott hesameany moreandnotr ej
oicewhen
herchil
dcomeshomewi thmoneyshedoesn’ t
knowwher eitcamef r
om.Thatwomanwasnot
amot hertomeandshewi llnevergetmy
for
giveness
Hi
m:I
’
m sor
ryy
ouwentt
hrought
hat
Me:all
I’
veeverwant
edwastogobackt othe
fami
lyweoncewere.It
houghtt
hatmay bewhat
shewasmakingmedowasgoi ngtorestore
whatwehadasaf amil
ybef
oredadlosthisjob
andshel osther
s.It houghtthatmaybei nthe
l
ongr unshewoul dgobackt othemot hershe
usedtobebuti nsteadshebecamewor se.Tri
ed
toconvincemet oqui tschoolbecause
accordi
ngt oherallIneededwasmyl ooksi n
ordertosurvi
veint hiswordandwhat ’
si n
betweenmyl egs
Hewi pedthetearthatmanagedt oescapeon
thesideofmyey e.Ididn’
tevenreali
seIwas
cryi
ng.Iwassoangr ythatmyhear twaseven
beati
ngfasterthanitnormal
lydoes.He
stoppedthecarandt henopenedmydoorf or
meandpul ledmeoutandpul l
edmei ntohi
s
arms.
Him: every
thi
ngwegot hrough,beitgoodor
badisf orareason.Wedon’ tnecessari
lyhave
toknowwhatt hereasonisbutithappensf ora
reasonandonedaywecomeoutoft hose
sit
uationsstronger
.Ourhar dshi
psarenot
meantt obreakusbutt heyar emeanttomake
usstrongerthanwear e.Ok
Hesaidki
ssi
ngt het opofmyhead.Icoul dfeel
mysel
fcal
mi ngdownsl owly.IneverknewMi so
wasthi
skindofper sonandIam gl adIactual
ly
l
ethimint
omyl i
f e.Igotoutofhischest
Me:
thanky
ou
Hi
m:whatar
efr
iendsf
or?
Ismi l
edandhegav emethatcharmingsmil
eof
his.Wegotinsi
deandcontinueddri
vingunt
il
wer eachedmyplace.Not
hingaboutthispl
ace
hadchangedatall.Hepar
kedi nf
rontofAri
’s
house.
Him: whenev
eryouneedany t
hing,cal
lme.
Whileyouherey
oushouldgov i
sither
,just
checkuponhert hat
’sal
lI’
m askingofy ou
Ishookmyhead
Hi
m:pl
easebut
ter
cup.She’
syourmot
her
Il
ookedathim andhewaspleadi
ngmewi t
hhi
s
ey
es.Inoddedandhesmi l
edandkissedmeon
myforehead.Wegotoutandyouknowhow
small nei
ghbourhoodpeoplegetwhent heysee
anexpensi v
ecarar oundt
heneighbour hood.
Wet ookmybagandheaccompani edmet ot he
door.Saidheneededt omakesur ethatIwasn’ t
l
y i
ng…asi fI’
veli
edt ohi
m befor
e.Ari opened
thedoorandj umpedf ormeinabonecr ushing
hugy ouwoul dhaveswornshehadn’ tseenme
i
ndecades.
Her
:I’
vemi
ssedy
ou.Wehav
eal
ott
otal
kabout
!
Shebr
oket
hehugandl
ookedbehi
ndme
Her
:whoi
she?
Shesai
dwhisper
ingandIj
ustl
aughedbecause
hecoul
dhearher
Hi
m:Mi
sokuhl
eBess.
 
Me:she’
sthegi
rlt
hatt
oldmeaboutMJ.Ar
iana
meetMiso
Sheflushedwi
thembar
rassmentandMi
soj
ust
chuckled
Mi
so:
nicet
omeety
ouAr
i
Ar
i:l
i
kewi
se.Pl
easecomei
n
Wewal kedi
nandIt ookmybagt oherroom
andleftt
hem t
alki
ng.thehousewasempt y.I
walkedbackdownandf oundthem l
aughing.
.
[
05/
10,09:
20]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#13
.
.
Hi
m:don’
twor
ryy
oursecr
eti
ssaf
ewi
thme
Me:
secr
et
Ar
i:y
oul
i
kenews.Mi
sodon’
ttel
lher
Me:
tel
lmewhat
?
Hi
m:nothi
ng.But
ter
cupwal
kmeout
.Ar
iitwas
ni
cemeeti
ngyou
Ar
i:l
i
kewi
se
Theyshar
edahugandt
henIwal
kedMi
soout
tohi
scar
Him:soI
’
m goi
ngt
oSout
hAf
ri
caf
orl
i
keaweek
ortwo
Me:
oh…
Him:Mygrandf
atheri
snotf
eel
i
ngwel
landi
t’
s
notl
ooki
nggoodatall
Me:
I’
m sor
ryt
oheart
hat
Hi
m:he’
l
lpul
lthr
ough.Heal
way
sdoes
Me:
I’
ll
bepr
ayi
ngf
orhi
m
Him:that
’ssweetofyouButt
ercup.I’
m sur
e
he’
ll
recoveraf
teryou’
vepray
edf orhi
m
Webot hl
aughed.Hewasn’tokbuthewas
acti
ngall
coolnottoalar
m me.Ipul
ledhi
min
forahugandthenletgo.
Me:
youok?
Hi
m:I
’
llbef
ine
Me:
youknowy
oudon’
tfool
mer
ight
Hi
m:IknowbutI
’
llbef
ine.Nuni
isaf
ight
er
Me:
thathei
s
Hi
m:soIwi
l
lseey
ouwhenIgetbackok?
Me:
ofcause
Him:
tel
lwhat
everboythatt
ri
est
ogetcl
oset
o
yout
hatIwi
ll
breakthei
rbal
ls
Il
aughedandsodi
dhe.
 
Hi
m:enjoyyourhol
iday
sbut
ter
cup.I
’
m meet
ing
mysi
sterforl
unch
Me:
okhav
efunandt
ell
herIsai
dhi
Hej
ustl
aughedatme
Hi
m:shewi
l
lmur
dery
ou
Me:
Iknow.by
eMi
so
Hi
m:by
e
Hepull
edmei nf
orahugandthenhegoti
nhis
caraf
terkissingmeonmyf or
eheadanddrov
e
off
.Hissisterdoesn’
tli
kemeandIdon’
tget
whyandhonestlyIdon’
tcar
e.Hismom ador
es
meorshe’skindandcari
ngtowardsmesoI
don’
tgetwhyAy aactsal
lweir
dtowar
dsme.I
wasabouttowalktotheyar
dwhenmy
“mother
”Estermadeherwaytome.nothi
ng
aboutherhadchangedatal
l.
Her:
soyoucamebackt
oyoursensesand
cameback?
Ij
ustlookedatherthi
nkingaboutwhatMiso
hadsaidaboutforgi
vi
ngherandIthought
agai
nstit.shedoesn’
tdeser
vemef orgi
vi
ngher
Her
:sowhosemoneyar
eyoueat
ingnow?
Me:
Idon’
thav
eti
mef
ort
his
It
urnedandshegr
abbedmyar
m
Me:
letgoofme
Her
:comebackhomewi
thmydaught
er
Me:
whatdaught
er?
Her
:whatdoy
oumeanwhatdaught
er.Ineed
mychi
l
drenbackhomeYol
anda
Me:
youdon’
thav
eanychi
l
drenEst
er
Her:thisdicky
ouridingmustbet hatgoodf or
youtodi sr
espectyourownmot herlikethat
.Ifi
t
weren’tforme,youwouldn’
tevenknowhowt o
ri
dedi cksodon’tmesswithmel i
ttlegir
l.I
expecty ouhomebyt heendoftoday
Me:
orwhat
?
Shechuckl
ed.
Her:youseethatli
tt
leboar
dingschoolyou
thi
nky ou’
vehiddenYvet
tefr
om mebyt aki
ng
herthere,
Iknowwher ei
tisandIam her
motherandtheywi l
ll
etmetakeherwhenIgo
ther
e
Me:
youbl
uff
ing
Her
:cal
lmybl
uffsweetcheeks
Shel
etgoofmyar
m
Her
:comebackhomeandI
’
lll
etI
vybe.She’
s
happyandshe’
spr
ett
iernow…soar
eyou
Me:
whatdoy
ouwantf
rom me?
Her
:whatdoy
out
hink?
Shewal kedawayandIwalkedinsi
deandjust
satdowncr i
ed.Whywon’tthi
swomanl eaveme
al
one?Hav en’
tIgi
venherenough?Iwas
dist
urbedbymyphoner i
nginganditwasT.
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:Red
Isni
ff
ed
Hi
m:Redt
alkt
ome.what
’swr
ong?
 
Idi
dn’
trespondi
nst
eadIj
ustcr
ied
Hi
m:Redwher
ear
eyou?I
’
m comi
ng.
Me:
I’
m atAr
i’
shouse
Hi
m:I
’
m onmyway
*
**EndofPC*
**
Justt
henaf
tert
hecal
lAr
ianawal
kedi
nandshe
i
mmedi atel
ycametokneel
infrontofmeand
huggedme.Ihatedf
eeli
ngthi
sv ul
nerabl
eand
hel
pless.
 
Her
:fr
iendt
alkt
ome
Me:
Idon’
tknowwhatt
odoany
mor
eRi
Her
:fr
iendwhat
’sgoi
ngon?I
sitMi
so?Di
dhe
dosomethi
ng?
Ishookmyhead
Me:
itsEst
er
Her
:whatdoesshewant
?Whatdi
dshedo?
Me:
Ijus….I
…Idon’
tknow
Her
:Landapl
easet
alkt
ome
Justt
hent
her
ewasaknockont
hedoor
Voi
ce:
Redi
tsT
Aril
etgoofmeandImov edfrom thedoorand
sheopened.Theminut
ehelai
dey esonmehe
pul
ledmet ohi
schestandj
ustletmecr ysome
more.Wherewoul
dIbewi t
houtthisguythough?
Af
terawhil
eofmecr yi
ngheremovedmefrom
hi
schestandwipedtheremai
ningt
ear
sfr
om
myeyesandlookedatmewaiti
ngformetotal
k
Me:EsterknowswhereIv
y’sboar
dingschooli
s
andshe’sthr
eateni
ngt
ofetchheri
fIdon’tgo
backtoherbeforet
heendoftoday
Him:whatexact
lydoest
hiswomanwantf
rom
you?
Ishr
ugged.Ireal
lydidn’
tknowwhatshewanted
fr
om me.shehadev erythi
ngbutshesti
l
l
wantedt
opr osti
tut
eme.wel l
shelookedli
ke
shehadeverythi
ng
Hi
m:comel
et’
sgot
oyourhouse
Ishookmyhead
Hi
m:Red.Let
’sgo
Iwant
edt ofightbutIwasgoingtoloset
he
bat
tl
esowewal kedandIshowedhim where
weli
vedandwhenwegoti nsi
deitwassti
ll
the
samejustthatsomeot herthi
ngsweremissing
i
ntheki
tchen.Shewal
kedoutf
rom t
hel
ounge
i
ntot
hekitchenwhi
lesmoki
ng.
Her
:soy
oucame
T:
Hel
l
oMr
sGr
aham
Her
:hi
,canIhel
pyou?
 
T:
Iam Re…Yol
anda’
sfr
iend
Her:ohsoyoutheoneshegotal
lthesef
ancy
cl
othesfr
om huh
Hi
m:Mr
sGr
aham namey
ouramount
Her
:excuseme
Me:
What
?
Hi
m: nameyouramount.Whatamountof
moneywil
li
ttakefory
out ol
eaveYol
andaand
Yv
etteal
one?
Shel
aughedbutTkeptast
rai
ghtf
ace.
Her
:youthinkyoucanbuymyki
ds?I
tdoesn’
t
wor
klikethatson
Him:Iknowyouhaveapr i
ceatthebackofyour
headri
ghtnow.Tell
mewhati twil
ltakefory
ou
tost
ayfarawayfrom Redandsunshine
Her:
ist
hatwhaty
oucal
lthem?Mmhmustbe
ni
ce
Hi
m:Idon’
thav
eal
lday
Her:noamountofmoneywi
l
lmakemehand
overmydaughter
stoyou
Hi
m:ify
oucaredabouty
ourdaught
ersy
ou
woul
dn’
tbet
hreat
eningt
hei
rli
ves
Her
:showy
our
sel
fout
.Lal
aIexpecty
ouhome
bef
ore9
Ttookouthi
swal
l
etandl
eanedont
heki
tchen
count
er.
Hi
m:wi
l
la100kcov
eri
t
Herey eswidenedandsheswall
owedreal
ly
hard.IlookedatT,Iwasnotsomebusi
ness
tr
ansact i
on
Her
:mmmhsoy
oumoney
ed 
Hi
m:j
ustf
inanci
all
yst
abl
e.So?
Her
:150
Him:l
et’
smakeit200andyounevergo
anywher
eneart
hetwoofthem ev
eragain
Her
:deal
.Yougoty
our
sel
fagoodmanher
eki
d
Ikeptquietwhi
leTsignedthechequeandt hen
handedittoher
.thesmi l
eonherf acewasoneI
hadneverseenbef or
e.Sheoffer
edTandI
somethingtoeatordrinkbutTrefusedandas
wewer eabouttoleaveshestoppedus…wel l
me
Her
:wai
t
Shewalkedtot
hel oungeandl
eftusstandi
ng
therebyt
hedoor.Shecamebackaf t
erawhile
withabox.
Her:thi
swasl eftbyyourf
ather
,foryouand
yoursist
er.Idon’tknowwherethekeyis.I
searchedhighandl owandeventri
edtogetit
openbythosepeopl
eont
hest
reetbutnot
hing
worked
Inoddedandt ooktheboxandwalkedwi
thTto
Ri’
splace.IwasmadatEst erandal
somadatT
fort
reati
ngmel ikeatr
ansacti
on.
Hi
m:y
ouupset
Me:
doy
oubl
ameme?
Hi
m:Iwasonl
ytr
yingt
ohel
p
Me:bybuyingmeTobias?Sheissti
ll
my
motherandyoujustmademef eel
thesame
waysheusedt omakemef eel
whent hosemen
pai
dtobewi thme
Hi
m:RedI’
m sor
ry.Idi
dn’
tmeanf
ori
ttoseem
t
hatway
Me:ofcauseyoudi dn’t
.Humansarenotf
or
sal
eTobias!Youcannotputapriceonahuman
bei
ng,t
hat’
spr ost
it
ution
Iwasreal
l
ymadathim andwhathedidback
ther
e.Hewassupposedtobet
heknighti
n
shi
ningar mourbutinsteadherehei sacti
nglike
oneofmymot hersclientspayingherenough
moneyj ustsoIcanbewi thhi
m orsot hateven
i
fIthinkofleavi
nghi m Ishouldthi
nktwice
becausehepai d200kf orIvyandIormay beI’m
overt
hinkingal
lofthisandhewasj ustbeing
ni
ce.
Hi
m:Redwhatdoy
ouwant
?
Idi
dn’
tknowhowt
orespondt
othatquest
ion
Hi
m:Whatexact
lydoy
ouwantRed?
HowwasIsupposedt
orespondt
othat
quest
ion?
Him:Yougotj
ealousoverMary-Annandl
etthat
comebetweenus.Nowy oucallmecryi
ngand
whenItr
ytohelpyouattackme.Whatisitt
hat
youwantRedbecauseIdon’tknowanymore
Hesai
drai
singhi
shandsupi
ndef
eat
. 
Him:
wheny
ouf
igur
eitout
,youknowwher
eto
f
indme.
Wi t
ht hathewal kedtohiscarandgoti nthen
drov eoffleavingmedumbst ruck.Af t
erallthat
sessionofwhat ever
.Igotinsidewi t
hmy
father’
sboxandwentst r
aightupt oAri’
sroom
andl ockedmy selfinherbat hroom.Thebox
didn’tneedakeyaspersay .Whenmyl i
ttl
e
sisterstartedschool dadgav eherandI
mat chingneckl acesandI ’
venev ertakenmi ne
offsince.Iwor eital
l t
hetimebecausedespi te
ever yt
hinghewasonceagr eatf atherandhe
wentt ot heendsoft hewor l
dt omakeends
meetf orhisfami l
y. 
.
.
ToBeCont
inued
[
05/
10,09:
20]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#14
.
.
Itookof fmyneckl aceandt riedt oopent hebox
butIneededmyl it
tlesi ster
sonet ooinor derto
beabl et oopeni t.Iwascur iousast owhatwas
i
nsi detheboxbecausewhat ev eritwasi thadto
bepr i
v ateorper sonal fortheonl ykey st obe
mineandI vy
’sneckl aces.Ical ledI vyandshe
toldmet hatshelef therneckl acewhenshel ef
t
forboar di ngschool becauseshedi dn’twantt o
ber emi ndedofwher eshecamef r
om.I v ywas
alway sshi el
dedbyme, bei tshebr oke
somet hi ngorwhat ev erbadt hingshedi dasa
kidImadesur etoshi eldherandt aket hebl ame
becauseseei nghercr ywashear tbreaki ngso
rathermet hanher.Iwal kedoutandputt hebox
i
nmysui tcaseandt henwentt ofindAr i.She
wassi ttingi ntheloungewat chi ngt v,
It hrew
my selfnextt oher
Her
:tal
ktome
Me:
Ithi
nkmymot
hersol
dIv
yandIt
oTobi
as
f
or200k
Sheturnedt
olookatmebutmyey eswereon
thetv
,Icoul
dfeelherey
espi
erci
ngright
thr
oughmyskin.
Her
:I’
m sor
ry.What
?
Me:
Tobi
aswr
oteEst
era$200kcheque
Her
:what
?Why
?
Me: Esterthr
eatenedtofi
ndIvyandtakeherso
Igother eandcalledTobi
asandhecameand
tookmet oEstershousewheretheymadea
dealthatsheleav esal
onefor$200k 
Her
:wow!
Me:
Iknow
Her
:wher
edoeshegetsomuchmoney
?
Me:he’
sanaccountantandal
soapar tnerat
somefi
rm.Heknowst heBessespersonall
yso
Iwoul
dn’
tbesurpr
isedheownsapi eceoft hei
r
company
Her
:butt
ohav
e200kl
yi
ngar
oundj
ustl
i
ket
hat
Me:
yeahIknow
Her
:wow.
Me:enoughwit
hthewows.Sowhatwer
eyou
andMisotal
ki
ngabout
?
Her
:not
hingt
hatconcer
nsy
ou
Me:y
oumyf
ri
end.Youcan’
tbedi
scussi
ngme
wi
thboy
s
Her
:ithadal
i
ttl
elesst
odowi
thy
ouact
ual
l
y
Me:
Ari
ana
Her
:younotgoi
ngt
odr
opt
hisar
eyou?
Me:
notachance.
Her
:wewer
etal
ki
ngabouthi
sbr
otherMJ
Me:
yeahwhatabouthi
m?
Her
:thatIl
ikehi
m buthe’
sver
yinti
midati
ngand
t
heaget hi
ngisst
ri
ctl
yanoandy eahthat
’sal
l
Me:
comel
et’
sst
alkhi
m onFacebook.
 
Her
:what
?No!
Me:
comeonl
et’
scheckt
heguyout
.
Wewentonmyi Phoneandsear chedforMJon
Facebookandhi saccountdidn’tgi
v emuch
awayabouthi m.Hedi dn’
tpostmuchandhi s
biodidn’tgi
veoutmuchei ther
.Allhehadwas
hisprofil
epict
urewhichclearl
yindicat
eshow
manypeopl eknowhi m basedont heli
kesof
thepicture
Me:
addhi
m
Her
:yeah…r
ight
Me:it
’st
heonl
ywaywe’
l
lgett
oknowmor
e
abouthi
m.Addhi
m
Her
:fi
ne.
 
ShetookherphoneandsentMJaf r
iend
requestandwewait
edpatientl
ywhil
est al
king
Miso.Misomostl
yhadpicturesofhi
sf amily
andhissquad.Hewassohoti nhispictur
es
andthecomment sl
eftbygir
lsonhispictures
provedj
usthowhothewas.Hisprof
il
epi
ctur
e
wasapictur
eofhim andhismot
herandIwon’t
l
ieitwasacutepi
ctureyouwoul
dswearshe
washisgir
lf
ri
end
Her
:who’
sshe?
Me:
hismom.Amazi
ngwoman
Her
:howcomeshel
ookst
hisy
oung?
Me:
that
’scauseshei
syoung
Her
:howol
disshe?
Me:
shewas28whenshehadMi
so…y
oudo
t
hemath
Wekeptscrol
l
ingunt
ilmyphoner angandit
wasMiso.ThewayIjumpedIal mostfel
landRi
l
aughedatmeandsodi dI.Iansweredthecal
l
whi
lehol
dingbackl
aughter
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:heyBut
ter
cup
Me:
heypr
of
Hi
m:pr
of?
Me:ifI
’m goi
ngtohaveanamefrom t
he
powerpuf
fgir
lsthenyoumi
ghtaswellhav
eone
tooorwouldyoupref
ermojosomethi
ng
Hi
m:uhhhm….
Me:
Ithoughtasmuch
Hi
m:butbut
ter
cupi
scut
e
Me:
soIshoul
dgi
vey
ouacut
enamet
oo?
Hi
m:pl
ease!
Me:
how’
sOh?
Hi
m:f
rom Home?NOt
hanky
oust
ickt
oMi
so
Me:
sohow’
slunchwi
thAy
a?
Hi
m:wej
ustboar
dedt
heBessPJact
ual
l
y
Me:
aaahr
ichpeopl
e…goal
sfam!
Him:ofal
lthet
hingsyoucoul
dref
ertomeas
youchosefam?Areyoutry
nafamil
yzoneme?
Me:
ofcausenot
.Soi
t’
syouandAy
a?
Him:It
’smeandallofmysi
bli
ngs.ThePJ
star
tedwit
hthem andt
hencamet ofet
chAy
a
andI.Kyl
eandMJsayhi
Me:
uhhm hi
Hi
m:rel
ax.Theymeanwel
lev
ent
hought
hey
maki
ngfunofme
Me:
why
?
Him:t
heysay
inghowdar
eIbej
ustf
ri
endswi
th
you… 
Me:i
t’
ssimpl
e…y
ounotl
i
keev
erynor
mal
guy
outt
her
e
Hechuckl
ed
Hi
m:But
ter
cupI
’
llcal
lyouwhenIl
andok?
Me:
int
woday
sri
ght
?
Hi
m:y
ep.Don’
tmi
ssmemuch
Me:
Iwon’
tify
ouwont
Hi
m:by
eBut
ter
cup
Me:
byeBubbl
es
*
**EndofPC*
**
Iendedthecal
lbeforehecouldcomplai
nabout
howbubbleswast oogirl
y.IknowMisoandhe
wasgoingtocall
mer i
ghtbackin5,4…my
phonerangandIlaughedwhi l
eansweri
ng
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:Bubbl
es?
Me:
youdi
dn’
twantPr
of
Hi
m:Bubbl
esbut
ter
cup?
Me:
okhow’
smuf
fi
n?
Him:Il
ovemuf
finsy
esbutnotenought
obe
cal
ledbyt
hem.Beori
ginal
Me:
Bubbl
esi
sor
igi
nal
thou
Him:f
ineI
’l
lal
lowyoubuti
fIev
erhearany
one
cal
lmethatIwil
lmur
deryou
Me:sot
hatmeansIcan’
tcal
lyoububbl
es
ar
oundt
hesquad?
Hi
m:exact
ly
Me:
fine
Hi
m:by
e
Me:
saf
etr
avel
sBubbl
es
Hej
ustl
aughedandweendedt
hecal
l
*
**EndofPC*
**
ThingsatAr i’
shomehav ebeengr eat.Iwas
havingf unandIhav en’
tseenmuchofEst er
eversincet hatday .Iguessthe200kwasdoi ng
thethingst hatneededt obedone.Shewas
probabl yhappyandeat i
ngithowev er.It
’sbeen
aweeksi nceIl astspoketoMi soandhehasn’ t
beenanswer i
ngmycal lsletalonerespondi ng
tomyt extsandIwasnowwor ri
ed.Iwast al king
toTobyont hephone.Ev ersincehemetMi so
thi
ngsbet weenheandIwer esomewhatback
tonor mal.Wewer esitti
nginhi scarli
steningt o
Toni Braxton’salbum Pulse.
Hi
m:hav
eyouspokent
oMi
so?
Me:
nohehasn’
tret
urnedanyofmycal
l
s
Hi
m:hi
sgr
andf
atherdi
dn’
tmakei
t
Iclaspedmymout hwi thbot hhands.Itwould
makesensewhyhewasn’ tav ail
abl
eonsoci al
medi a.Hemustbecr ushed.Heoncel etmei n
onhowt ightheandhi sgrandf at
herwereand
thi
sonet imewecal l
edt heol dmant ogether
andhewasasweetandf unnyol dguysof or
himt odiemusthav er eall
yhi thim hard.His
grandfatherhasbeensi ckf orsomet imenow,
somet hingaboutwat erinhi slungs.Whenwe
spoket ohi m hewassupposedt ober ecoveri
ng
well.Thedaybef oreMi sol efthewast ell
ingus
abouthowr eadyhewast ogohomebackt ohis
wifeanddowhatadul t
sdo.Hewasexci t
edt oo.
Me:
when?
Hi
m:Sunday
Sundayi
sthedayMi sowassupposedt
oar
ri
ve
i
nSA.ItwasThursdaynow
Me:
andwheni
sthef
uner
al?Canwego?Mi
so
i
smyfr
iend
Hi
m:y
eahsur
e.Wel
eav
etomor
rowmor
ningok
Me:l
etmegosaymygoodby
essoIcansome
sl
eepathome
Hi
m:okRed
Iwalkedt othehouseandt oldthem t hatthere
wasanemer gencyathomeandt hatIwoul dbe
backnextweekorsoIal sodidn’tknow.It ook
myt hi
ngsandwentt osl eepov eratToby ’
s
house.IsentMi soat exttell
i
nghi m Iknow
abouthi sgrandfat
herandIam sor ryf orhis
l
ossandst uffandthenwentt obedear l
y.I
knowIdi dn’tknowDamonBessbutf rom the
l
itt
leti
meswespokewewer epl anningonme
goingtoSAt hi
sDecemberandhi mf i
nall
y
meet i
nghi snewlyfoundedwi f
e…i twasf unny
causet hat’
swhathecal ledmeandhi swi fe
wouldal waysplayaroundandsayt hatI ’
mt he
onlysidechickshewoul daccept .Theywer e
happypeoplesoIcanonl yimagi
newhatMr s
Bessisgoingthrough.Icall
edMiaandshesaid
shethoughtIknewseei nghowcloseIwaswith
Misoandthatshewasgoi ngtoSAtomorr
ow
l
ateronwithherf amil
y.
.
.
ToBeCont
inued
[
05/
10,09:
20]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#15
.
.
Firstt
imeinSout hAfrica.Iwon’tli
eit’
sa
beautif
ulpl
acet obei n,sochaotic,sonoisyand
j
ustanamazi ngat mospher etobei n.itwas
verymuchdifferentfrom whatI ’
m usedt obutI
aintcomplai
ning.Wewer edr i
vi
ngi nthis
beautif
ulnei
ghbour hoodwi thdoublest or
ies
andt ri
plest ories.Itwasabeaut if
ul placeno
doubtev enchangedt hatment ali
tyofSAbei ng
nothingbutaf orestandpeopl ewear i
ngani mal
skinandst uff.Tobypar kedi nfrontoft his
beaut i
ful hugemansi on,Ithoughthi shouse
washugebutt hispl acetakest hecake.Wedi d
strugglet ogeti nbecauseoft hepr essout si
de
theiryardbutev ent uall
ywegoti n, t
hepr esshas
noshame!Theyj ustl osttheheadoft hef amily
andt hest upidpr essi soucheamaki ngt hisa
show.Wegotoutoft hecarandIwaswear i
nga
l
ongbl ackdr ess, Mi asaidt owearsuch
becausei t’
sasi gnofr espectandshet oldme
nott oshowal otofski nsoIwaswear i
nga
cardiganov ermydr essandf latsandal s,the
funeralwast omor r
owandMi awasar ri
ving
tonight(Saturday ).Wewal kedi nandi twas
chaot i
clikeahouset hatwasgoi ngt ohav e
funeraltomor row.Webumpedi ntoMi so’smum.
Her
:Tobi
as,
But
ter
cup
ShehuggedTobyandt
henmov
edont
o
welcomemewi thahug.Ev enwitht
heevents
shestil
lmanagedtosmi l
e.Shehadadoek
coveri
ngherheadandshewaswear i
ngalong
ski
rtandevenwiththatshelookedbeaut
if
ul.
Her
:howar
eyou?CanIgety
ouguy
sany
thi
ng?
 
Me:
WegoodMahandhowar
eyou?
Her:wehangingint here.Uhhm Misoisoutwi t
h
hisf
atherandbrother’sbuyingafewt hingsfor
tomorr
owsoy ou’
l
l probablyseehimlater.Let
megett hesetosomeoneandt henI’l
ltakeyou
tomom
Shehandedthepl
atestooneofthepeople
worki
ngaroundandthenshet
ookust othe
l
oungeandMr sBesssnrwassit
tingona
mattr
essweari
ngallbl
ack.Wegreetedand
thenTobyl
eftmewithher.
Me:
Ma
Her
:it
’ssogoodt
oseey
oubabe
Me:
howar
eyouhol
dingup?
Her:
bett
erthanthelastfewdays.IguessI
madepeacewithitwhenIwat chedhim goi
n
andoutofhospi
tal
.I’
mj ustgr
atefult
hathe’
s
noti
npainanymore
Me:ohMahI
’
m sosor
ry.Ionl
yfoundout
Thur
sday
Her:i
tsokbaby .Youher
eandit
’ssoni
cet
o
fi
nall
ymeety ouevenundert
hese
ci
rcumstances
Me:
it’
sgoodt
omeety
out
oo
Her:Mi
sowill
besohappyt oseey ou,atl
east
havi
ngyouherewil
lli
fthi
m upalit
tle.He’
s
taki
ngt
hishardert
hantherestofhissibl
i
ngs
Me:
mmmhIheary
ouMah
Her
:any
wayy
oucangoandbewi
thpeopl
eyour
age
Ichuckl
ed,t
her
ewer
en’
tmanypeopl
emyage
aroundher
e
Me:
webot
hknowt
her
ear
en’
tpeopl
emyage
ar
oundher
e.I
’
llgohel
pYay
ainst
ead,
wil
lyou
befi
ne?
Her
:I’
llbef
inet
hedayI
’
m abl
etogetof
foft
his
matt
ress
Ichuckl
ed
Me:
sti
l
lcan’
tsi
tanddonot
hinghuh
Shechuckl
edandthenthechuckleturnedi
nto
tear
swhichshequi
cklywiped.Idi
dn’tknow
whattosayordoatthi
sverymoment .
Me:
Boobi
e
Her:
Iwi
l
lbef
inechi
l
d.Gohel
pYay
asheneeds
hel
p
Inoddedandki ssedhercheekandwalkedout
tothelounge.Yayatol
dmet hatthiswas
Amahl eandDamon’ shouse.Itwasabeauti
ful
house.Sheintr
oducedmear oundtoherf
ri
ends,
Anita,
Lediandhersister
sinl awAsemahl
eand
Iyana.
Ase:
it’
ssoni
cet
ofi
nal
l
ymeetmynephews
cr
ush
Ifl
ushedandcoveredmyey esandtheyall
l
aughed.Wewer echil
li
nginthedini
ngroom.
Theyhadcater
erstotakecareofeverythi
ngso
ther
ewasn’tmucht odoreal
ly.Ayawalkedin
andsatdownnextt ohermotherandrestedher
headonhershoulder
Ay
a:whyar
eyouher
e?
Yay
a:Hay
iAy
andi
swa!
Me:
itsokMr
sBess.
Ase:
okandt
henwhyt
hedr
amaYay
a?
Ay
a:Idon’
tli
kehert
hat
’sal
l
Ledi
:whyki
do?
Me:
Iwoul
dal
sol
i
ket
oknow
Ay
a:she’
sagol
ddi
ggert
hat
’sal
l
Ichuckl
edi
ndi
sbel
i
ef
Yay
a:ohwow
Ni
ta:
youdr
amat
icy
azi
wena
Ase:
AnywayIl
i
key
ouandt
hat
’sal
lthat
matt
ers
Ichuckl
ed.Howcansomeonel
i
kehercome
fr
om suchalovi
ngfami
ly
?
Me:
andIl
i
key
out
oo
Yay
a:notmor
ethany
oul
i
kemer
ight
? 
Ledi
:thi
nkcaref
ull
yabouty
ouranswershe
mightbeyourmotheri
nlaw
Ay
a:mybr
otherwoul
dnev
ermar
ryy
ou
Sher
oll
edherey
esatme
Me:
ofcauseIl
i
key
oumor
eMom
Isaidthatt
ospiteAyaandshewasi ndeed
spit
ed.Goditfel
tgood.Ireal
lydon’
tgetwhy
shewoul dt
hinkI’
m agolddiggerbecauseI
don’taskMisoforanyt
hing!
Ase:
I’
m goi
ngt
ogety
ou.You’
l
lsee
Justt
henMi
aandherf
ami
l
ywal
kedi
nand
greet
edusall.Atl
eastpeopl
eIam f
amil
i
arwit
h
andIknowlikeme,Miaandherfamil
ywere
withMichel
l
eandAsht on.
Ash:
SoMr
sBWher
e’sMi
soat
?
Yaya:he’
swi t
hhisfatherandsi
bli
ngsi
ntown
buyi
ngf r
uitanddri
nksf ort
omorr
ow.They
shoul
dbebackal ready
Shesaiddi alli
ngonherphoneandwal kingout.
Wesatar oundt het ableandweal lhada
conversationandi twasf un.Nor mall
ypeopl e
don’tl
aught hi
sl oudandchatt hismuchont he
daybef oreaf uneral butIguessi t’
sbecause
theyhadev eryt
hingcov eredfortomorrow.The
guys,Mi aandIwentt ochi l
loutsi
deint hetent
andlefttheol dpeopl et ochillt
ogether.We
werejustchat ti
ngaboutr andom stuff
, Mrs
Besscal l
edmet ogoandf et
chsnacksf orus.
Thecarpar kedinf rontoft hehouseasIwas
goingoutt ogi vetheguy sthesnacksandMi so
walkedoutandourey esmet ,
weshar eda
momentwit
houtanyofussay
ingany
thi
ngt
o
t
heot
her.
Yay
a:I
’
llt
aket
heset
oyourf
ri
ends
Inoddedandwalkedtowar
dsthecarandthr
ew
myar msaroundMiso’
sneckandhesqueezed
mywai st
Hi
m:whendi
dyougether
e?
Me:
Afewhour
sago
Hi
m:t
hanky
ouf
orcomi
ng
Inoddedwhi
l
est
il
li
nhi
sar
ms
Voi
ce:
youtwol
ovebi
rdscandowhat
everya’
l
l
doi
ngwhenwedoneunpacki
ngt
hegr
oceri
es
Webr okethehugandchuckl
edonl
ytor
eal
ise
thevoicewasthatofMJ.Hecametomeand
huggedme
Hi
m:y
ouev
enpr
ett
ieri
nper
sonBut
ter
cup
If
lushed
Me:
thanky
ou…Mj
right
?
Hi
m:i
tsYanga
Miso:
Mj wi
l
ldo.Thi
sisKy
leandt
hatov
ert
her
e
i
smyf at
her
KyleandIshookhandsandt henIshookMr
Bess’shandandt henhelpedoutwiththe
groceri
eswi t
htherestoftheguysfrom school
.
Whenwewer edoneMisojoinedusandweal l
sattogetherandhewasact uall
ybettert
han
howIexpect edhimtobe.
Miso:
I’
mreal
l
yworri
edaboutBoobi
e;shewas
t
heonewhowatchedhi
mt akehi
slastbr
eat
h
Igasped.Thatmustreal
l
ybeat raumaticthi
ng
togothrough.Watchi
ngyourhusbanddi eri
ght
i
nf r
ontofyoureyes.I
tmustbepai nf
ul.
Mia:Boobi
eisastr
ongwoman.Shewi l
lpul
l
thr
oughthoughshemightneedsome
counsel
li
ngaft
er
Miso:yeahwesuggest
edthatsheget
s
counsell
i
ngbutsheref
uses.Youknowshehad
t
obei
nject
edf
ort
heshock.I
twasbad
Hebrushedmyhandov ermyt high,i
twasn’
t
uncomf or
tableatall
.Helookedatmeand
mouthed“ ThankYou”andInoddedwi t
han
assur
ingsmi l
e.Ioffer
edt otaket hedi
shesto
thehouseandMi sooff
eredt ohel pme.When
wewal kedintothehouset ogetherAsesmil
ed
Ase:
Kot
ikemahn
Il
ookedatherr
eal
l
yconf
used
Mi
so:
Kot
imeanswi
fedon’
tmi
ndaunt
yMel
ody
I
ya:wejustproudt hatwehaveadaughteri
n
l
awthat’
sall.Atleastoneofyouboysknow
whatgi
rl
saref orunlikey
ourbrot
her
s
Il
aughedandleftt
hem tal
ki
ng.Iwalkedback
andtheyweresti
ll
goingbackandforthabout
MisoandI.Iwonderwhytheyaresoconv i
nced
wedating
Ledi
:youdoi
nggoodhoney
.Mi
sosur
ehas
tast
e
Hi
m:o…k.I
’
m outofher
e
Hewentt othekit
chenandIexcusedmy self
andwentbackt oourfri
ends.Theseol dwomen
suremadef unabouteveryt
hing.theyfuntobe
around.Wechill
edandjusthadagr eatchat.
ThenextdayMrBesshadadi gnifi
edfuneral
andMi socamebackwi thsuperr edeyesfrom
cryi
ng,hewentintothi
sotherr oom andhis
mom wasf oll
owinghim andshet ol
dmet o
pleasegoandcheckonhi m.If oll
owedhi m and
gotinsi
detheroom andthebat hroom doorwas
l
ocked.Iknocked
Me:
Bubbl
esi
t’
sme
Hekeptqui etandt henawhi l
elaterheopened
andIjustpulledhimt omyar ms.Itwaspainful
seeinghi
mi nthatstate,
IjustwishedIcoul
d
takethepainaway .Hebrokethehugand
l
ookedatmei ntheeyesandIl ookedathim
andhebr oughthi sli
psclosertomi ne
.
.
ToBeCont
inued
[
05/
10,09:
20]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#16
.
.
Hepi nnedmeont hedoorwhi lehishands
squeezedmyasst ight
lymaki ngmef eel an
exhi
lar ati
onI’
m notusedt o,somesor tofa
for
eignconceptt ome, somet hingIhavenev er
fel
tbef ore.Hewassogent lewi thmehemade
mef eel safeandwhatwewer edoingf el
tri
ght
andnot hi
ngwr ongwi t
hitatal l
.Heneededt his,
heneededt oforgetthepainhewasf eeling
eveni fitwasf orafewmi nutes.Hepi ckedme
upandheopenedt hedoorwi ththeotherhand
notbr eakingthemomentatal l.Normal l
yI’
d
wonderwher ehegott hestrengt hbutthenthe
guywasarugbypl
ayersoofcausehehad
str
engt
hforday
s.Ist
oppedkissi
nghi
m andhe
l
ookedatme
Me:
thedoor
Hewalkedt
ot hedoorandl
ockedi
tandcame
backt
omel ooseni
nghisti
e
Hi
m:y
ousur
e?
Inoddedandheki ssedmel ay i
ngmebackand
thenhishandwenti nsi
demyunder wearandhe
start
edr ubbingmynooki e, i
tfeltsogoodt o
haveMi solikethis.seeingasi deofhi mI
alwaysimagi nedr oughandnot hi
ngt hi
sgentle.
Ialwayssawhi m ast heroughsexki ndofguy
andnott hissweetpat i
entcaut iousmanont op
ofme.hewentont okissmyneckmaki ngme
superwetdownt here.Ithinkwe’ vejustfound
myweakspot .Iwasweakf orhi m andIwanted
himinsideofme, Iwaspl eadingt ohav ehi
m
i
nsideofmemaki ngmeex per i
encesomet hing
I’
veonlyev erthoughtwaspai nfuland
disgustingandtur
niti
ntoapleasurabl
e
experienceforme.HestuckafingerandI
fl
inched, hel
ookedatme
Hi
m:shoul
dIst
op?
Ishookmyheadno.Iwant edt his.hecont i
nued
tokissmeandt henhemov edhi sf i
ngeri nand
out,atf i
r stitwasal it
tleuncomf or t
ablebuti t
turnedi nt opl easure,hisfreehandwasonmy
boobsst r okingt hem.Godhewast akingmet o
anotherpl acewher eonl yheandIexi stedandI
want edust ost ayinthatwor ldj ustheandI .He
tookof fhi spant sasIcoul df eel anor gasm
buildup.Hewentdownonmeandf l
ickeredhis
tonguear oundmycl i
t,Ihear dapaperwr apand
thenhecameupt omeandt riedi nser ti
ng
himsel finsi deofmeandIf linchedi npainwhi le
hewaski ssi ngmel ookingdeepi ntomyey es.I
alway st houghtr ugbypl ayerswer en’tthat
packedbasedonwhatI ’
vehear d, apparentl
yt he
steroidst heyt akemakei tshr inkbutMi sowas
adi f
ferentr ugbypl ayerIguessbecausehe
struggled,Iwasev enr eadytotellhi
mt ostop
butev entuall
yhewasi nbutnotal li
n.hestart
ed
offslowlyunt i
lhewasal li
nandIwon’ tli
ehe
waspr ettylengthy.Hewenti nandoutsl owly
l
ikesomeonewhowasmaki nglovetome.I ’
m
usedt oguy sgoingf astjustsotheycancum
andgetof fandthat’sitbutMisowast akinghis
ti
mewi thmeandki ssingmeev erynowand
thenunt i
lIcameandhecameaf t
erme.he
l
ookedatmel ikehewasst udyi
ngme.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ouBut
ter
cup
Ikeptquiet.Didhej ustsayhel ovedme?hegot
offmeandwentt odi sposeoft hecondom and
hecamebackwi thaLukewar mt owelandhe
wipedmeandt henIwor emyunder wearand
fi
xedmydr essandt her estofmy sel
fandt hen
walkedoutl i
vi
nghi mt ocl eanhimselfup.Miso
andIjusthadsexandi twasn’ttr
aumat i
catall
andafterthathet oldmehel ovedme…t hat
soundsaboutev erythingt hatj
usthappened
ri
ght?asIwaswal ki
ngIbumpedi ntohismom
Her
:howi
she?
Me:
he’
sbet
ter
Her
:okthat’
sgoodbabe.ThankyouButt
ercup
f
orbeingheret
odayandsupport
inghi
m and
t
herestofthef
amil
y
Me:
Misoi
smyf
ri
end
Shenoddedandki ssedmyforeheadandwent
theopposit
edirecti
onasme,Iwasaboutto
walkdownt hestair
swhenAyabumpedmeon
purpose.Ir
eall
ydon’tknowwhatMissBess’
s
probl
em withmei s.
Me:BecauseIr
especty
ourbr
otherandy
our
par
ents,
I’
lll
ett
hisgo
Her:Ial
way sknewy ouwereratchet
.Youwil
l
NEVERbepar tofthi
sfamil
y.Youmayhav emy
brot
herandt herestofmyfamilyfool
edwith
yourper
fectlit
tl
eat t
it
udebutyoudon’tf
oolme.
Icanseerightthroughyoumissy 
Me:
ok
Isaidshrugging.Idon’
tknowwhatresponse
shewasexpect i
ngfrom me,shewalkedaway
pissedandIj ustl
etherbe.Iwentt
ogetmy sel
f
apl at
eandr anintoToby.
Hi
m:Hey
Me:
hey
…sowhenar
ewel
eav
ing?
Hi
m:i
nabout2hour
ssoeatupandgopack
Me:
sur
ethi
ng
Hi
m:y
ouok?
Me:
yeahI
’
m good
Hi
m:y
ousur
e?
Me:
ofcause
Henoddedal mostl i
kehewasdoubt i
ngmy
response.Don’ttel
lmei t
’swri
ttenonmy
foreheadthatIjusthadsex?Icannotaffor
dto
hav ethat
.OhGodI ’
m goingst
raightt
ohell
.
Whohassexunderadeadman’ shouse?FLIP!I
wal kedtofi
ndmyf r
iendsandIfoundthem
si
tt
ingint
hetentchatt
ing.Isatnextt
oMi
aand
j
ustthenMisosatnexttoMike.
Mi
a:sowher
ewer
eyou?
Icouldfeel
Miso’
sgazeonmeasIswal
l
owed
thefoodIwaschewingon
Me: Iwastal
ki
ngtomyli
tt
lesi
ster
.just
checkinguponhert
hat
’sal
l
Mia:
Ireal
l
yneedtomeett
hisper
sony
ouspend
somuchtimetal
ki
ngt
o
Inoddedandshov edaspoonfulofr
iceinmy
mout h.Iwasn’treadyforthe3rddegreefr
om
Mia.Iwon’ tli
eitwassomewhatawkwar d
betweenMi soandI ,wewouldsteal
glancesat
eachot herandt henwhenwecat chtheother
l
ookingwewoul dlookel
sewhere.Howwast hi
s
goingtowor koutagain?
Mi
a:Ihav
etoask
Miso:ev
eryti
mey
ousayt
hatIal
way
sgeta
pani
cattack
Weal l
justl
aughedbecauser
eal
lyMi
aisan
i
nquisi
tiv
epersonandshedoesn’
tst
opwit
hthe
questi
onsey.
Mia:Iwasn’
tgoi
ngt
oasky
ou.Iwasgoi
ngt
o
askYola
Me:
okshoot
.
Mia:si
nceyouandTobi
asar
en’
tdat
ing…doyou
thi
nkthaty
ouandMisowoul
deverdate?I
meanlikeyout
wowouldmakeacutecoupl
e
andall
Misochuckl
edwhi l
eMia’
sbrotherlaughed.I
chockedonmyf oodandtheyalll
aughedatme
real
l
yhard.Miahasawayofj ustputti
ngyouon
thespot.
Me:
uhhhm…
Mi
so:
Miagetamanal
ready
Mi
ke:ov
ermydeadbody
.SoYol
aanswer
…
Woul
dyou?
Il
ookedatMi
soandheshr
ugged.Ineededhi
m
tocomeupwithatopicorsomet
hingor
dist
ractt
hem…any
thingreal
ly
.
Voi
ce:
somethi
nghascomeupatwor
ksowe
goi
ngtohav
etoleav
enow
ThankGod.It
houghtt
omy
sel
f
Me:ohokl
etmef
ini
shher
eandI
’
llgof
etchmy
t
hings
Toby
:pl
easehur
ry
Mia:wecanal
way
sbr
ingherbacki
t’
snobi
g
deal
Me:Itsfi
neMia,Il
eftAr
iana’
shomewhenIwas
supposedtospendtheweekwithher
Mi
so:
seey
oubacki
nCar
lit
hen
Hegotupwi t
hhishalfempt yplateandwal ked
away.Itookmypl atetothekitchenandt hen
wenttopackmyst uffi
nther oom Iwas
sl
eepinginlastni
ght.Ipackedupev eryt
hingin
mybagandasIwasaboutt ofini
sht hedoor
openedandhi scolognefil
l
edt hewhol eroom
bef
oreIev
ent
urnedt
oseehi
shandsomesel
f
Hi
m:But
ter
cup
Me:
Bubbl
es
Hi
m:t
rav
elsaf
elyneh.I
’
llseey
oui
naweek
Me:
Ithoughty
ou’
dst
ayl
onger
Hi
m: Nuniwasther
easonIwasgoi
ngt
ost
ay
l
ongerbutsi
ncehe’
sgone
Me:andwhataboutBoobi
e?Wontshebe
cr
ushed?
Him:itmakesnodiff
erencereal
lybecauseas
ofthenextfewdaysthey’
llbecl
eaninguphis
st
uffandallandIdon’twannabethereto
wit
nessthat
Me:
Miso 
Hi
m:nahBut
ter
cupt
hisi
smydeci
sion
Me:
atl
eastseeat
her
api
st
Hi
m:onl
yify
ou’
l
lseeonet
oo
Me:
huh?
Hi
m:seeashr
ink.But
ter
cupy
ouneedt
his
Me:
MisoI
’
mfi
ne
Him:but
ter
cupyoust
il
lhur
ti
ng.Yousti
l
l
t
raumati
zedbywhatyouwentt
hrough
Me:
Misopl
ease
Him:i
fyoudon’
tseeat
her
api
stt
henI
’
m not
seei
ngonetoo
Ikeptquietandhet ur
nedmear oundand
ki
ssedmyf oreheadandwalkedaway .Isighed
deeplyandwat chedasthedoorclosed.I
fi
nisheduppacki ngandthentookmyst uf
f
downstairsandwentt osaymygoodby esto
Boobie
Her
:don’
tbeast
rangernow
Me:
Iwi
l
lal
way
scal
ltocheckupony
ou
Her:
cal
lmewher
e?Youdon’
tev
enhav
emy
number
Me:
thenI
’
llgeti
tfr
om Mi
so
Her:andifyoudon’
tcallIwi
l
lcomedragyou
outofclasswit
hthatredhai
rofyour
sandbeat
youup
Il
aughedandsodi
dshe
Me:
yout
oool
dtobebeat
ingmeupBoobi
e
Her
:cal
lmeol
donemor
eti
mechi
l
d. 
Ilaughedandpul
ledherinforal
onghug.Godi
t
feltsogoodtobeinherarms
Her
:Mi
sot
oldme
Il
i
ter
all
yfr
oze.What
???
.
.
ToBeCont
inued
[
05/
10,09:
20]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#17
.
.
IlookedatBoobi
eblankl
yandshegavemea
faintsmi
le.Whatdi
dhergrandsont
ell
her
?
Me:
Misot
oldy
ouwhat
?
Her
:whatcoul
dmygr
andsonpossi
blyt
ell
me
But
ter
cup?
Ij
ustshrugged.Herandhergr andchil
drenare
supert
ight.Act
uall
ythiswhol efamil
yissuper
cl
oseyouwoul dsweart heytell
eachother
EVERYTHI NGsoIwoul dn’tbesurpr
isedifshe
meantMi soandIhavingsexaf ewhoursago. 
Me:
Idon’
twantt
oli
etoy
ouIhav
enoi
dea
Her:
haveasaf
etri
pchi
l
d.Wewi
l
ltal
kpr
oper
whenI’
minCarl
i
Ilookedatherblankl
yandshejustpull
edmein
forahugandt hensheletgoofmeandki ssed
meonmycheekandsai dhergoodbyes.I
walkedawaysuperconfused.MisoandI
neededtotal
kwhenIlandbecausenowwe
won’tgett
hechancetotal
k.Isai
dmy
goodbyestoevery
oneandthenwedrovetothe
air
porti
nsil
ence.MymindwaselsewhereandI
thi
nkToby’swastoo.
 
Toby
:Red!
Me:
huh?
Hi
m:y
ouwannagetsomet
hing?
Hewaspar kedatt
hegarage.YepIhadal oton
mymi ndformenottoevenfeelthecar
stoppingandseemslikeTobyhadbeent alki
ng
tomebutIwast oooutofitt
oevenhearhi m.I
wast hinki
ngaboutwhatBoobiesaidandthe
amazi ngsessi
onIhadwithMisoear l
i
eron
Me:
justwat
erandgum pl
ease
Hi
m:y
ouok?
Me:
yeahI
’
mfi
ne.Ij
ustmi
ssI
vyt
hat
’sal
l
Hi
m:cal
lhersol
ong.Imi
sshert
oo
Me:
yeahwi
l
ldo
Hegotoutofthecarandwentt
obuyandl
eft
medial
l
ingIvy
’snumber. 
*
**PC*
**
Me:
heysi
si
Her
:heyy
ou.Howar
eyou?
Me:
I’
m goodbabeandhowar
eyou?
Her
:I’
m ok.mi
ssmemuch?
Me:
li
key
ouhav
enoi
deaj
usthowmuch
Her
:Imi
ssyoutoo.Howwast
hef
uner
al?
How’
syourf
ri
end?
Me: thefuneralwasdigni
fi
ed.I
twasbeaut
if
ul
andhowt heyallspokeofhi
m hewasa
respectedwel l
knownman
Her
:Icani
magi
ne,
andy
ournewboy
fri
end?
Me:
newboy
fri
end?
Her
:yeah.Mi
so-
somet
hing
Me:
hei
snotmyboy
fri
end.He’
smyf
ri
end 
Her
:what
ever
Me:
Misoi
sfi
ne.He’
shangi
ngi
nther
e
Her:br
ingmesomet
hingni
ce.Somet
hingSout
h
Afr
ican
Ij
ustl
aughedandTobywalkedi
nwhi
leIwas
l
aughi
ngather.Whatdi
dshemeansomethi
ng
Sout
hAfri
can?
Me:
what
’sSout
hAf
ri
can?
Her
:Idon’
tknow.any
thi
ngr
eal
l
y.Asouv
eni
r 
Me:
askTt
obr
ingy
out
hat
Her
:gi
vehi
mthephonet
hen
Iputthephoneonloudspeakerandt
hey
greet
edeachotherandspokealotwewere
nowheadedt ot
heairpor
t
Her
:T
Hi
m:y
es.
Her:Who’
sMary-Annandwhatwasshedoi
ng
athomethatni
ght?
Him:whyam Inotsur
pri
sedt
haty
ouwoul
d
knowaboutt
hat?
Ishr
ugged.OfcauseIt
oldmysi
steraboutMar
y
-Ann
Her
:answermeT
Him:Mary-
Annist
hewomant
hatbr
okemy
hear
tSunshine
Her:I
’m sorr
yshedidbutifshebrokeyourhear
t
shoul
dn’tyouli
kehateherandstuffi
nsteadof
giv
ingherthekeytoyourhouse?
Helookedatmewithaquest
ioni
ngl
ookandI
shr
uggedyetagai
n
Hi
m:whatel
sedi
dRedt
ell
you?
Her:
thatMar
ytr
eat
edherl
i
kecr
apandy
oul
et
her
Hi
m:Idi
dletMar
ydoany
thi
ngt
oRed
Her
:soRedi
sal
i
arnow?
Hi
m:I
’
m notsay
ingshe’
sly
ing 
Her
:T
Hi
m:y
esSunshi
ne?
Her
:youl
i
kel
i
kemysi
sterdon’
tyou?
Hi
m:ev
enI
….
Her:
justanswert
hequest
ionT.y
oul
i
kel
i
ke
Reddon’tyou?
Hi
m:y
esIdo
Her:t
henwhyar eyoulett
ingy
ourexgeti nt
he
way?Imeanshe’ sinthepastandthat ’
swhere
sheshouldstay.Sheleftyouf
orar easondi
dn’t
she?Ify
our eall
ydidli
keRed,theny ouwoul
dn’t
haveenter
tainedhertobeginwith
Hi
m:howol
dar
eyouagai
n?
Her:don’
tchangethesubj
ect.IMunchki
nandI
werediscussi
ngyouguysbyt heway.i
t’
spr
ett
y
cl
earwher eyoust
andwitheachotherandI
t
hinky
out
woshoul
dgoaheadandbet
oget
her
Ijustkeptqui etstarri
ngoutoft hewi ndow
becauseIknowmyl ittl
esisterandshewon’ tl
et
i
tgo.I tsbestt heyhav ethisconv er sat i
on
togetherandnotwi t
hme.Mymi ndwason
Mi so.Idon’ tknowwhyIsuddenl yf eltthewayI
didabouthi m buti tchangedt hewayIf elt
aboutT.Myf eeli
ngsf orTgotmi xedupt he
mi nutehepai d200Kf ormysi st
erandIl i
keit
wasnot hing.Iappr eciatehimt r
yingt osav eus
butIjustf eel somet ypeofwayaboutt heway
thingswer ehandl ed.Ifeltli
kesomet ransacti
on
andmeani ngless.Mi sohasnev ernotonce
mademef eel thatway ,yeshet riest ospoi lme
whengi vent hechanceandhet reat smel i
kemy
agewhi l
eTt reatsmel i
kehe’ sli
ttlesi sterandis
j
ustov erpr otectiv
eofmeandal way sr eadyt o
protectmeandkeepmeoutofwhat everhe
thinksmi ghthar m me.i t
’scutey es, buti tgets
bor i
ng.Weal l wantsomeonewhoexci tesand
all
owsust ot aker i
skswi thoutwor r yingabout
thepossibil
iti
es.Mi soandIhav edoneal otof
whatpeopl ecal l“Whitepeopl e”adv ent ures, l
i
ke
skii
ng,skydiving, mountainclimbi ngandal l
thoseotherf unact i
viti
eswhi leTf el
tl i
ket hey
weren’tsafef ormet odoandal lthat .Miso
chall
engesme, hedoesn’ tt
reatmel i
ke
someonewhoknowswhatI ’vebeen.Het r eat
s
mel i
keanynor mal humanbei ng.Wi thMi soI
evenforgetwhatI ’v
ebeent hroughandj ustl i
ve
whilewithTi t’
sj ustdif
ferent.Ev ent hewayI
dressisani ssuewi t
hT, somet i
meshedoesn’ t
sayitbuthisl ookal wayssay sal ot.Ihadzoned
outthatIwasshakenbyTt or emi ndmet hat
wewer estil
l ont hephonewi thmysi ster
Her
:Il
ovey
ouLal
a
Me:
Ilov
eyoumor
e
Her
:saf
etr
ipandcomev
isi
twheny
oubackok?
Me:
wil
lmosdefdo
Her
:by
e
Me:
bye
*
**EndOfPC*
**
IswitchedmyBl uetoothonandconnect editto
T’scarandpl ayedmypl ayli
stwithouteven
aski
ng.Iwasal l
owed.Youev ersi
ngt oasong
youdon’ tunderstandasi nglewor dbutsing
anywaybecausei t’
sni ce?Thatwasmer ight
nowt oBer i
ta’
sNguweWedwa.AsongMi so
oncepl ayedformeanddi dn’
tbotherexplai
ning
whati tmeantandt ol
dmet hatwhenIwasol d
enoughIwoul dunder standt hemeani ngofit.
It
’sani cesong, sl
owj am.Soundsl i
kealove
song.
Me: Nguwewedwa,nguwewedwa.I l
it
ha
l
entli
ziy
oyam.Nguwewedwa, nguwewedwa.
Awuzangewandikholhl
isa.
Nguwewedwa,
nguwewedwa.Endimt handayo.Nguwewedwa,
nguwewedwa.Awuzangewandi l
i
bazi
sa.
Sthandwasami,
thathanalu’t
handolwami
l
olwakho….
Hi
m:si
ncewhendoy
oul
i
stent
oSAmusi
c?
Me:
Misoi
ntr
oduced.Theymakeni
cemusi
c
Hi
m:andy
ousi
ngi
ngal
ong?
Me:
lov
ethesong
Hi
m:doy
ouev
enunder
standi
t?
Me:yousi
ngt
hewhol
eofdespaci
toandIdon’
t
asky
ousuch
Hi
m:y
ouandMi
sohav
egr
ownpr
ett
ycl
ose
Me:
yeahwehav
e.
Hepar kedthecarandIgotofsamet ime.Iwas
notabouttohav ethisconv er sat
ionwi t
hhi m.I
knewwhatwasgoi ngt ohappennextandIwas
goingtogetal ect
ureaboutwhat ever
.It ookmy
purseandpul l
edmyl uggageandhef ol
lowed
behindmet ogoandr eturnt hecarwhi l
eI
waitedont hechair
spr essingonmyphonewi th
myear phoneson.Iwasl i
steni ngtothisBer i
ta
songandj ustthenat extfrom Mi so,i
tr ead
“NguweWedwa! !!
”almostl ikeheknewIwas
l
ist
eningt
oit
.Igiggledal
oneandr
esponded
“
NguweWedwa. ”Andhesentasmileyf
ace
makingmesmilealone.
Voi
ce:
readyt
ogo?
Il
ookedupandTobywasstandi
nginfr
ontof
me.Inoddedandwewenttoboardt
heplane
andIsatcomfor
tabl
yandsunki
nmyseat
l
ooki
ngoutthewindow.
Iwasnowbacki nCarli
andTwasatwor kandI
wasatAr i
’spl
aceandsheandIwer esi
tting
outsi
deont hepor
cheatingchi
pschatt
ing.I
wastell
ingheraboutwhathappenedatthe
funer
al.
Her
:sohowdoy
ouf
eel
abouthi
m now?
Me:Idon’
tknow.Idon’twannausethewholeI
l
oveyouthi
ngyallbecauseofthegoodsex.
Whatift
hefeel
ingsIhaveforhim ar
ebecause
oft
hesex?
Shel
aughed
Her:andwhati ft
heynot?ImeanfriendIthi
nk
youf eelsomet hi
ngforTobyyesbutinaway
thaty oufeell
ikeyouowei tt
ohim becausehe
rescuedy ouf r
om hell
.Misomakesy ouhappier
thanTobydoes.Iwoul dknowcauseIam y our
fri
endandt hewayy outal
kaboutt
hem say sit
all
Me:
howdoIt
alkaboutt
hem?
Her:youalwaysexcitedatthement ionof
Miso’snamewhi lewithTobyi t
’sli
ke“ohy eah,
he’sthebestfri
endev er
”event houghyoudon’ t
reall
ysayitbutyougetmypoi nt.Al
lI’
m say i
ng
i
st hatwoulditbesowr ongify ouandMi so
pursuedar el
ati
onship?Yout alkdayandni ght
andy oual
way stexti
ngandj usthappy.Givet he
guyachanceandi fi
tdoesn’twor koutthenit
wasn’tmeantt oworkout
Me:
I’
ll
seef
ri
end
Ester
…thewomant hatgav
ebi
rtht
omewalked
overtous.I
fthi
swomandidn’
thav
ethesame
hai
rcol
ourasmeandmysi
ster
,Isweart
oGod
I
’dsayshewasn’
tmymom.
 
.
.
ToBeCont
inued

[
05/
10,09:
20]Ron:
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#18
.
.
Her:
Whenwast
hel
astt
imey
ouspoket
o
Yvet
te
Me:
excuseme?
Her
:whenwast
hel
astt
imey
ouspoket
o
sunshi
ne?That
’swhathecal
l
sherr
ight
?
Me:
whatdoy
ouwant
?
Her
:Iwantt
hatbox.Iknowt
hekeyi
swi
thone
ofy
ou
Me:
thenwhat
’sI
vygott
odowi
thi
t?
Her:mydaught erhasever
ythi
ngtodowithi
t
consideri
ngshehast heot
herhalfoft
hat
ri
diculousneckl
aceyouwear i
ng
Me:what’
ssospecialaboutt
hatbox?I
sn’
tthe
moneythatTobygaveyouenough?
Her
:Ij
ustneedt
hatboxok.
Me:
no
Shechuckl
ed
Her:keepbeingthi
sstubbor
nandy oursi
ster
mightjustgomissi
ng.IneedthatboxYol
anda
Me:
whywoul
dshegomi
ssi
ng?
Her
:st
opaski
ngquest
ionsf
oronceandj
ustdo!
ShesnappedandIjustl
ookedatherblankly
knowingverywel
lthati
nsi
deIwasboili
ng.This
womanwi ll
bethedeathofmyli
ttl
esisterandI
,
Iswear!
Me:
No
Her
:tel
ll
it
tl
eIv
ytowat
chherbackt
hen.
Wi t
ht hatshewalkedawayl ivi
ngmeandAr i
stunned.Wel l
Iwasmor epissedthanstunned.
Whodi dthi
swomant hi
nkshei s?Iwanttocall
herbluffbutatthesamet imewhati fshe’
snot
bl
uf fi
ngandshemi ghtj
ustgoaf terI
vy?Idial
l
ed
Toby ’
snumbersamet imeandheanswer ed
afterawhi l
epantingandgaspi ngforai
r
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:Red
Me:
didIcat
chy
ouatabadt
ime?
Hi
m:notr
eal
l
y.What
’sup?
Me:
youi
ntown?
Hi
m:att
hemomentno,
I’
ll
bef
lyi
ngi
nlat
er
t
oni
ght
.Why?
Me:i
t’
snot
hing.gobackt
owhaty
ouwer
e
doi
ng
Hi
m:i
sev
ery
thi
ngokRed?
Me:
yeahev
ery
thi
ngi
sfi
neT.Thanks 
Hi
m:okt
hen.By
e
Me:
bye
*
**EndOfPC*
**
Ineededtostopt histhingofcal l
i
ngTobi as
wheneverIfeltl
ikesomet hingwastroublingme.
Iwasnothispr oblem.Hesoundedl ikehe
wasn’tal
oneormay beI’
mj ustheari
ngt hings.I
wentupstai
rst ofetchmyhandbagwi thmy
keystoT’splaceandt henwentoutr equest i
ng
anubertodrivemet oT’ shouse.Iunlocked
wit
hmykeyandt hedoorwasn’ tl
ockedsoI
walkedinandshout i
ngT’ snamebutdi dn’tget
aresponsesoIwal kedinf urt
herandwas
welcomedbyt hetvmakingnoisepl
ayingalone
soIswitcheditof
f,maybehewasr unninglat
e
andforgottoswit
chitoff
.AsIwalkingaroundI
not
icedar edG-st
ri
ngont hef
loor
Me:
OK!
Iremember edtherealr
easonIwasher e
anyway .Iwalkedtothestai
rsandmademy
upstairstoIvy’
sroom andIlookedf ort
he
necklaceandf ounditunderneathherdressi
ng
tabl
eandt hentookitandmademywayout
bumpi ngintoyourstrul
yMar y-
Annwear ingT’
st
-shi
rt.Wel ookedateachotherf orawhil
e
beforeT’sv oi
cebrokethesilence
T:
Redwhatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Me:
Icamet
ofet
cht
his.
Isai
ddangl
i
ngI
vy’
sneckl
ace
Mary:nicet
omeety ouRed.I’
m Mar
y -
Ann.Sor
ry
aboutthewayIbehavedwhenwef i
rstmet.I
di
dn’tknowyouwereToby ’
scousi
n
Inodded
Me:yeahsur
eyoudi
dn’
tknow.Ni
cet
omeet
youI
’
m Yolanda
Her
:ni
cet
omeety
out
oo
Wel
etgoofeachot
her
’shands 
Me:
Ishoul
dgo.
 
Her
:itwasr
eal
l
yni
cet
omeety
ou
Me:
sameher
e
Iwalkeddownthestair
sreall
yfastthinki
ng
aboutwhathadjusthappenedbackt here.One
minuteshe’
stheexandsuddenl ythebusy
makingbacks(havi
ngsex)…What ’
sthedeal ?I
wasabouttowalkoutthedoorwhenTgr abbed
myar m.Il
ookedathishandonmyar m.
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:wai
t!
Me:
for
?
Hi
m:i
t’
snotwhaty
out
hinki
tisRed
Me:obvi
ousl
y.CauseIt
houghtt
hatTl
i
edt
ome
andsai
dhewasoutoftown
Hel
ookeddown
Me:
canIl
eav
enow?
Hi
m:Redpl
ease
Me:wedon’
twanttokeepMar
y-Annwai
ti
ngT.
Enj
oyt
herestofy
ourtri
p.
Iyankedhishandof fandwal kedaway .Idon’t
haveapr oblem wi thhim bangi nghi sexbutt he
l
y i
ng.Ihatelies.Idon’tev enunder standwhyhe
l
ied.HeandIcan’ tbetogetherbecauseof
prett
ymuchev erythi
ngright?he’ slikemy
“cousi
n”soheandIcannev erbe.Wai twhywas
Igetti
ngallwor kedupov erthis?Il ikelikeMi so
mor ethanIlikeTobyandt odayj ustpr ovedwhy
Ishouldjustbewi thsomeonemyageatl east
hewon’ thurtmet hewayTj ustdi d.Please
don’tj
udgemeaboutt heMi sot hing, i
twasa
momentofweakness…l ookatt heguyandt ell
mey ouwoul dn’ thavegiveni ttohi m samet i
me?
Theguyi sf l
amesok!Idon’ tknowwhati tisI
feelforTbutseei ngMary-AnnIgotj ealous.I
requestedanuberandheadedbackt oRi’s
home.Hermot herandbr otherswerebackand
theywer ejustchatti
ngupast or
m.Igr eeted
andsatdownf orawhi l
ejoininginont he
conv er
sati
onsbef oremyphoner angandi twas
T,Iignoredhiscallsunti
lIgotonef r
om Mi so
whichf orsomer easonbroughtasmi l
eonmy
face.Iexcusedmy sel
fandwentt oanswerhi m
i
nt heroom
*
**PC*
**
Me:
Heyy
ou
Voice:
tel
lthatboyfr
iendofy
our
stomakehi
s
passwordlesspredi
ctabl
e
I
twasBoobi
e.Ij
ustl
aughedhar
d
Me:
HeyBoobi
e
Her:t
hatnameisnotforyoupeopl
etouse!I
’
ve
beenwait
ingf
oryourcall
butkidsoft
odaydon’
t
knowthatcel
lphoneswer
einv
ent
edt
omake
cal
ls
Me:Howar
eyouBoobi
e?I
’
m goodt
oot
hank
you
Her
:don’
tpl
aysmar
twi
thmeBut
ter
cup.
 
Me:
yourgrandsoni
stheonet
hathasn’
tgi
ven
meyournumber
Her
:what
ever
.Howar
eyou?
Me:
Ial
readyt
oldy
ou 
Her
:yeahbutI
’
m onl
yaski
ngnow.howar
eyou
But
ter
cup?
Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
I’
m goodBoobi
eandhowar
eyou?
Her:
I’
m goodtoothanks.Soar
en’
tyougoi
ngt
o
askwheretheowneris?
Me:
okBoobi
e.Wher
eisMi
so?
Her:
Isenthi
mt otowntofet
chsomethi
ngfr
om
hi
sgrandf
ather
’soff
iceandhef
orgothi
sphone
here.Sowehav
eanhouror2dependi
ngon
tr
affi
c
Ichuckl
ed.Thi
swomant
hough!
Me:
uhhm ok
Her:
youknowy
ouneedt
ofor
giv
eyourmot
her
r
ight
?
Me:
that
’swhatMi
sot
oldy
ou?
Isi
ghedi
nrel
i
ef
Her:chil
dhol dinginangerf orwhatsheputyou
thr
oughwon’ tgetyouany wher einst
eadyou’
ll
j
ustbet hisbitterandangr ypersonfort
herest
ofyourli
fe.Shemayhav eill
-t
reatedyoubutdo
youthinky ou’dbet hi
spersony ouarenowhad
shetreatedy ouanydi f
ferentl
y? 
Ikeptquiet
.Howam Iexpect edtofor
givethi
s
personwhoj ustkeepstorment
ingbecauseshe
can?It’
snoteasyt ojustmoveonfrom what
shekeepsdoi ng
Her
:Ist
art
edv
isi
ti
ngmyf
ather
’shouseand
actuall
yspendi ngtheni ghtwi thouthav ing
nightmareswhenIwasi nMat r
icbecauseev er
y
ti
meIwentt ohi shouseI ’dhav eni ghtmar esof
whatmynannyputmet hr ough.ThedayI
visi
tedheratt hement al insti
tutionshewasi nI
gotclosureandIwasabl et oact uallysl
eepon
myol dbedwi thoutget ti
nganyni ghtmar es.I
neededt oforgiveherinor derformet omov e
onf r
om theni ghtmaresandt hesel f
-tor
tur e.As
muchaswedon’ trealisei tholdi
ngont ot he
painpeopleputust hroughi shar mi ngus
emot i
onall
ymor ethani tisphy sicall
ybecause
thenwebecomepr isoner sofourmi ndsand
endupi nplaceswenev eri maginedwe’ dbei n. 
Iwassomewhatconf
usedwhatshemeant
abouthernanny
Me:
Boobi
e
Her
:yes?
Me:
mayIaskwhathappenedwi
thy
ournanny
?
Her
:consi
der
inghowcl
osey
ouandMi
soar
e,I
wouldhaveassumedthathetol
dyou.Mynanny
molestedmefrom whenIwas5unt i
lIwas7I
thi
nk.Buther
eIam todayanamazingmother
andevensupercoolgrandmot
her
Ichuckl
edathercocki
ness.
 
Her:Iknowoursuff
eri
ngsaredi
ffer
entandthey
wil
lneverbethesamebutjustt
hinkaboutwhat
I
’m sayi
ngok
Me:HowdoIf orgiv
esomeonewhol i
vest
o
makemyl i
femiserable?Everyti
meshesees
meit’
sli
keshelooksf orwayst otor
tur
emeand
sheusesmyli
ttl
esi stert
ogett omebecause
sheknowsIwoul dlaymyl i
feforher
Her
:Howof
tendoy
oupr
ay?
Ikeptqui
et
Her:I
’l
ltaket
hatasnotoft
enenough.Chil
dyou
won’tmakeitthr
oughthi
sli
fewit
houtGod.I
l
ostmyhusbandof40somet hi
ngy ear
sandI
shouldbebrokenbey
ondrepai
rsbuthereIam
strongerbecauseofGod.Idon’ thateGodf or
takinghi mfrom me, ifitsany t
hingI’m grateful
becauseIknowhei si nabet terplaceandhei s
notsuf feri
ng.Iam gr ateful Igottoknowsuch
anamazi ngmanandgott ol i
v emyl i
fewi thhi m.
Youseet het hi
ngwi thy ouguy sisthat
what everbadt hingthathappenst oy ou, y
ou
blameGodf oritbecausey oupr obablyf eellike
he’snotseei ngy ourpai nory ourt earsbuty ou
forgetonet hing,henev ergi vesuschal l
enges
thatwewon’ tbeabl etohandl e.Heknowshow
muchwecant akein.Thet hingsy ouar egoi ng
throughnowar ebui l
dingy ouupi ntot hebest
war ri
orthiswor ldhasev erseen.  
Me:
eyBoobi
e
Her:
I’
m notapr
eachernowbutchi
ldpr
ay.
Ther
e’sal
waysanansweri
nprayer
.
Me:
Iheary
ouBoobi
e
Her
:andIwi
l
lal
sopr
ayf
ory
ouok.Yuhha.
aby
e
nowmyeari
shot
Ilaughed.Wor
seshe’
stheonet
hatwontst
op
talki
ng.
Me:
okBoobi
eby
e
Her
:by
eBut
ter
cup.
*
**EndOfPC*
*
.
[
05/10,09:
20]Ron:
Lif
eInSandy
'sAngl
e-by
SandyGxaba

*
**THELI
FEINEVERI
MAGI
NED*
**
#19
.
.
Aft
ert hecallwi
thBoobi eIdon’tknowhowIf el
t
butitwasagoodf eeli
ng.Ilookedatt hebox
andopenedi tandt her
ewer epaper sinthebox.
Mor eli
kemai l
.Iopenedt hemai landitwas
l
ettersfrom someonewi ththeiniti
alsCY.
Masonwi thpicturesofmeandachi ldthat
l
ookedjustl i
keme.Behi ndthepi ctureitwas
wri
tt
enYol andaandYondaGr aham.Andt her
e
weremor epicturesofaboyt hatl ookedjustli
ke
me.IfIwasseei ngpr oper,Ihadat win.What
t
hehell??
?Ther ewasaphonenumberont he
l
ett
erwitht hesepictures.Idiall
edi t.
*
**PC*
**
Per
son:
Hel
l
o?
Me:
uhhm hel
l
o
Per
son:
whoi
sthi
s?
Me:
ist
hisCYMason?
Per
son:
Whoi
sthi
s?
Me:
thi
sisYol
andaGr
aham
Shekeptqui
etf
orsomet
ime
Me:
hel
l
o??
?
Her
:sor
ryI’
m st
il
lhere.OhmyGodit’
ssogood
t
ohearyourvoi
ce.I
’m Candi
ceYol
andaMason.
I
’
myourmot
her
Ichuckl
ed.Ahhhthi
spersonhadj
okesf
orday
s.
Whatdidshemeanshewasmymot her
?My
motherisEst
erandshewasanursesoIdon’
t
knowwhot hi
swomani s.
Her
:Yol
anda
Me:
yes
Her
:howar
eyoubaby
?
Me:
whatdoy
oumeany
oumymot
her
?
Her
:babywher
ear
eyou?Canwemeetandt
alk?
Me:
howdoIknowthatyour
eall
yaremy
mot
herandt
hisi
snotsometr
ick?
Her:t
hefactthaty
oucal
li
ngmeshouldgi
veyou
al
ltheseanswerstot
hequest
ionsy
ouhave
Me:
Ifoundy
ournumberi
nal
ett
eraddr
essedt
o
myfat
her
Her
:howi
sCar
lany
way
?
Me:
he’
sdead 
Shekeptqui
etf
orawhi
l
e
Me:anywayIcal
l
edbecauseIwascur
ious.By
e
Candi
ce
Her
:Yol
andapl
ease
Me:
what
?
Her
:wher
ear
eyou?Canwemeetupf
orl
unch?
Me:
I’
minCar
li
Her
:I’
l
lbef
lyi
ngi
ntomor
rowmor
ningt
hen
Me:
fly
ingi
n?
Her
:Il
i
vei
nNewYor
k
Ihitmyfor
ehead.Ofcauseshedidbecause
that’
sther
etur
naddresswri
ttenonthemail
.
Me:
okby
e
Her
:thanky
ouf
orcal
l
ingme
Me:
whoi
sYonda?
Her
:that
’sy
ourt
winbaby
Me:
Idon’
thav
eat
win
Her
:yes,
youdo.He’
sst
udy
ingatHar
var
d
*
**EndofPC*
**
Iendedt hecal l
.All thiswast oomuchf ormet o
behav ingt heconv ersat i
onv iaphonecal l.I
hav eat winbr other.Myr eal mot herl i
v esinNew
Yor k.Whatsi ckt wist edjokei st his?Ir ead
someoft hel ettersandt heywer en’tmuchj ust
herchecki nguponmeandaski ngpi cturesof
meandst uf fandhert ell
ingdadaboutYonda
andhowmuchhehasgr ownandst uff.And
thent her ewasonel etteraddr essedt ome.i t
read“ DearYol anda.IknowIwasn’ tthebest
fathert oy ouguy sandIam sor ry.Yol aIknowI
wasn’ tt her ef oryouwheny ouneededmet he
mostandIknowt hatIcoul dhav edone
somet hingt oatl eastsav ey ouf rom t he
suff er
ingbutIdi dn’ tandt here’snoexcuseast o
whyIdi dn’ tdosomet hingei t
hert hanmebei ng
ater ri
blef at her.Iwasn’ tbl i
nd, Isawt hechange
ofcl othes, thechangeofper sonal i
tyand
ever yt
hi ngel seandI ’m sor r
yy ouwentt hrough
that.Youandy oursi sterdeser vebet ter.Iknow
yousmar tandIknowt haty ouwi llfindaway
outoft hathousef ory ouandy oursi st er.
Ther e’saguynamedTobi asEv ans, hedoes
yourmot her’saccount ingandmi net ooandI
haveaskedhi mt otakecar eofy ouandy our
sisterandcat ertoev erythingy out womi ght
everneed.He’ sagr eatguyandIknowt haty ou
arei nsaf ehandswher ehei sconcer ned.I
savedupenought osety ouandy oursi sterup
forunt ilyouar edonewi thuni ver sityandhav ea
stablej ob.Inthisboxy ouwi l
l f
indl etter sf r
om
yourr eal mother,Est eri sIv y
’smot herandI ’
m
sorryy ouhadt ofindoutt hisway .Yourr eal
mot her ’
snumberi swr itteninoneoft hel etters
andshewi ll
explaint oy ouev erythingt hat
happenedi nt hepastl eadi ngt ot hesepar ati
on
ofy ouandy ourtwi n.Il ov ey oubabyandpl ease
tellI
v yIam t r
ulysor ryf orev er ything. ”t hel ett
er
mademesomad.If oundmy selft ear ingi tinto
pieces.Somemeet ingTobywasor chest rated
bymypar ents.Theyplannedital
l,
he’snot
somegoodSamar i
tan.GoodSamar i
tansdon’t
exi
stinthi
sdayandage, howwasIsost upi
d
anyway?Ishouldhav eknownsomet hingwas
wrong.Ical
ledMi so.Healwayshasawayof
cal
mingmedownwhenI ’
ml i
kethi
s.
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:heyBut
ter
cup
Ij
ustcr iedreal
izi
ngjusthowmuchImi ssed
him andneededhi mr i
ghtnow.Mi soalways
camer unningwhenIcall
edhi m cr
yingorhada
nightmar eandhewoul djustcomfortmeand
makemef eelbet
ter
.Wi t
hhimi tdi
dn’tmatter
whatt het i
mewasorwhet herhehadt ogot o
cl
ass, hejustcamet omyr escue
Him:But
ter
cupar
eyoucr
ying?Pl
easedon’
tcr
y
now
Me:
Ijus…Ij
ustmi
ssy
ousomuch
Hi
m:Imi
ssy
out
ooBut
ter
cup
Me:
whenar
eyoucomi
ngback?
Hi
m: nextweekend.Ther
e’st
her
eadi
ngoft
he
wi
llandstuf
f
Me:
ohok
Hi
m:But
ter
cup
Me:
yes
Hi
m:t
alkt
ome.what
’sgoi
ngon?
Me:
she’
snotmymot
her
Hekeptqui
etf
orawhi
l
e
Hi
m:I
’
m sor
ryt
oheart
hatBut
ter
cup
Me:
I’
m at
win
Hechuckl
edandsodi
dI
Hi
m:i
ssheashotasy
ou?
Me:
it’
saheMi
so
Hi
m: bor
ing.Her
eIwast
hinki
ngwecoul
dhav
e
at
hreesome
Il
aughedandsodi
dhe.Mi
sot
hough
Hi
m:andshel
aughs!
Me:
scr
ewy
ou!
Hi
m:atl
easty
oul
aughi
ngsowegood
Me:
Miso
Hi
m:Yes
Me:justcomebackal
ready
.ther
e’sal
otwe
needtotalkabout
Hi
m:am Ii
ntr
oubl
e?
Me:
ofcausenot
.Ij
ustneedmybest
iet
hat
’sal
l
Him:andy ouhavehi
m all
toy
our
sel
f.Sowhat
aboutyourreal
mother?
Me:
Icall
edherandshesai
dweshoul
dmeetup
t
omorr
ow.Sheliv
esinNewYor
k
Him:soi
fyout
wohiti
tof
fdoest
hatmean
you’
l
lmovetoNYandl
eavemehere?
Ichuckl
ed
Me:
ofcausenot
.Idoubtwe’
l
lhi
titof
f
Hi
m:It
hinky
ouwi
l
l.It
hinky
ougoi
ngt
olov
eher
Me:Ifeell
ikemylif
ewasplannedoutf
orme
andI’
mj ustact
ingascenei
nit
Hi
m:i
sthatsuchabadt
hing?
Me:mymeeti
ngTobywasplannedoutbymy
par
ent
s.HowdoIjustgetov
erthat
?
Him:hadyounotmetTobyt
henyouwoul
dn’
t
havemetme.Somethi
nggoodcameoutoft
his
pl
ayyouin
Me:
Iguess
Hi
m:cheerup.Dr
esst
okil
ltomor r
owandmake
t
hatwomanseewhatshemi ssedouton
Il
aughed
Hi
m:sowhatdi
dyouandBoobi
espeakabout
?
Me:
Idi
dn’
tspeakt
oBoobi
e
Him:Iknowshecall
edy ou.She’stheonl
yone
whowoul dfi
gur
eoutmypasswor d.Mom
knowsitbutshewouldn’
tcallyouandtal
kthi
s
l
ongwi
thy
ou
Me:okfiney
ougotme.butaskherwhatwe
spokeabout
Hi
m:I
’
m aski
ngy
ouBut
ter
cup
Me:shewasgi vi
ngmeal
i
fel
essonbasedon
herexper
iences 
Hi
m:f
ineIbel
i
evey
ou
Me:
causet
hat
’sal
lther
eist
oknow
Hi
m:f
ine.
Me:
NguweWedwa
Hi
m:NguweWedwa
If
oundmy
sel
fbl
ushi
ng
Hi
m:st
il
ldon’
tknowwhati
tmeans?
Me:
nope.Ij
ustl
ovehowi
tsounds
Hi
m:ofcausey
oudo.I
tmeansy
out
heonl
yone
Me:
I’
mtheonl
yonewhowhat
?
Hi
m:doesi
tmat
ter
?
Me:
fineI
’
lll
ety
oube
Him:goodgi
rl
.WhenIgetbackwegoi
ngt
o
somewhere
Me:
wher
e?
Hi
m:st
opaski
ngquest
ions.By
eBut
ter
cup
Me:
byeBubbl
es
*
**EndofPC*
**
Afterthecal lwithMi soIf el
tali
ttl
ebet t
er.At
easethanbef ore.Itookoutt helett
ersandr ead
them andt her ewasn’ tmuchei t
herthanmom
askingaboutmysi sterIvyandthestepmot her
shedeser t edmet o.Sheseemedt obei nlove
withmyf at herandshewasmar r
iedtosome
guynameEt hanMasonandhe’ sbeendy i
ngto
meetme, shewaspl eadi ngdadtobr ingmet o
NYsot hatmyst epdaddyandt wincoul dmeet
mebutseemsl i
kemydaddi dn’
twantanyof
thatsoev ent ual
lyshest oppedbeggi nghimi n
thelet
t er
s.Thel astlet t
ershesentwasf rom
bef
oredaddied.Tobysentmeat extaskingme
tomeetupwithhimforbreakf
astbutIflatl
y
i
gnoredhi
stext.
.
.
[
05/
10,09:
20]Ron:
**THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#20
.
.
Ifoundheral r
eadysittingdownwi t
hshadeson
i
nsidetherestaurantmi ndyou, pressi
ngherbi g
i
Phonewhat ever
, r
edmat teli
pst i
ckwi thpink
cheeksandhai rredlikemi net i
edupi naneat
bunwear i
ngawhi tesleevelessbl azeranda
whitebodyhuggi ngbel owt hekneedr esswith
dustypi
nkr edbot t
om pumpst hatmat chedher
handbag.Shel ookedl i
keat r
ophywi f
eshame.
Shestoodupat t
empt ingt ohugmebutIgav e
hermyhandt oshakeandsheseemed
disappoint
edbutweshookhandsandt ookour
seats.Ioptedforoneofthemostexpensi ve
restaur
antsaroundandIdr essedthepartforit
too.Messybun, rosycheeks,nudeheels,bl
ue
boy f
ri
endjeansandanudeshi r
ttuckedinfront
.
Ilookedgoodt osaytheleast.
Her
:Yol
anda
Me:
Candi
ce
Her
:youl
ookbeaut
if
ul
Me:
thanky
ou.Sodoy
ou
Her
:doy
ouwantany
thi
ngt
oeatordr
ink?
Me:
I’
ll
hav
eappl
ejui
ce
Her
:ok
Shehailedupherhandandawai t
erwal
ked
overtoourt ableandaskedwhatwewouldlike
andCandi cer equest
edmenusandtwoapple
j
uices.Ijustlookedatherandr
oll
edmyey es.
thewaiterleft
Her
:sowhatdoy
ouwantt
oknow?
Me:
Whatdoy
oudo?
Her
:I’
m af
ashi
onbuy
er
Inodded
Her
:whatar
ey oust
udy
ing?Iunder
standy
ou
doi
ngyourf
ir
styear
Me:surel
yyoualr
eadyknowseei
ngt
haty
ou
knowthepersonIl
iv
ewith
Ourj
uicescameandshesi
ppedonher
sand
l
ookedupatme
Her
:howi
saccount
ingt
reat
ingy
ou?
Me:
good.Andf
ashi
onbuy
ing?
Her:
Ilovemywork.Yolandal
ookIknowwe
di
dn’tcomeheret
otalkaboutmeandmywork.
Askmeany t
hingy
ouwantt oknow
Me:
Whydi
dyouanddadspl
i
t?
Her:becausey
ourfat
hercamefrom a
superst
it
iousf
amil
ythatbel
i
evedthattwi
ns
wereanabomi nationt oGodscr eati
onor
somet hing.Ifhisf amilyhadfoundoutt hatI
wascar ryi
ngt wins,thentheywoul dhav ekill
ed
youandy ourbr othersowedeci dedthatitwas
bestthatIt akeYondawi t
hmeandhekeepy ou.
Esterwast heonewhohel pedmegi vebi r
tht o
youandy ourbr otherandsoIsuggest edthat
yourfathermar ryherandpr etendthatshewas
yourmot her,EsterandIwer egoodf r
iendsand
shelov edy ourfathersoi twasonl yfi
tti
ngt hat
sherepl acemeandbey ourmot her
Me:di
dyouev
erthi
nkthatmaybey
ouwer
e
t
hrowi
ngmeinthel
ion’
sden?
Her
:whatdoy
oumean?
Me: Af
teryourex-
boyfr
iendlosthi
sjobhe
becameabusive.Thisoneti
mehehi therso
badshelandedupi nhospi
talfort
woweeks
andwhenshecamebackshewasn’ tt
hesame
anymore.Shelostherj
obandshecompl etel
y
changed.I
vyandIwoul dgot obedwit
hout
anythingtoeat.See,whi
ley
ouwer eoutbuy
ing
fashionyourdaughterwassleepi
ngonan
empt ystomach
Shewipedawaythetearthatmanagedt
o
escapethecor
nerofhereye
Me:I
’m notl
ooki
ngf
ory
ourpi
tyorsy
mpat
hyor
what
ever
Her
:Lal
aifIhadknown
Me:butyoudi
dn’
tknowCandi
ce.Yourhusband
di
dn’
ttel
lyou
Her
:Lal
aI’
m 
Me:sorr
y?noneed.Idon’
twantyourapol
ogy
.I
j
ustwantedtomeetyoubecauseafri
endof
minesuggest
editwouldbeagoodidea
Lateronyesterdayshecal l
edmet ell
i
ngmeshe
hadlandedandt hatmaywemeetf orbreakf
ast
andIshouldt extherthenameoft herestaur
ant
ofmychoi ce.Ihaddeci dedagai
nstitunti
lI
spoketoMi soandhet oldmethatIneeded
answersandshewast
heonlyonewhocoul
d
gi
vethem tomeandsoIcame.
Her
:Yol
anda
Me:What’
sthedealwi
thTobi
asEvans.Iknow
t
hatyouandyourexfi
gur
editwoul
dbebestif
youguy
sdumpedusonhi m
Her:
Tobiasisaf
ri
end’ssonandI’veknownhi
m
si
ncehewasachildandIknewt hatyouwoul
d
besafewit
hhim.he’
sagr eatguy
Me:
sowhat
?Hewasmeantt
okeept
absonme
Her
:ofcausenot
Me:then?Youneededsomeonet otelly
ou
aboutyourdaughterandwit
hyourexdead,y
ou
neededhimtot akemeinandconvincemethat
hewasabet terpersontol
i
vewith
Her
:Lal
a
Me: Ifeell
ikethemor eIseatherewit
hyout
he
angrierIget.I
t’sall
yourfaul
tthatIwent
thr
oughev ery
thingIwentthr
ough.Iknow
Tobiastoldyouwhathappenedt ome.Iknow
hereportedbackt oy ouast owhatIendur ed
l
ivi
ngunderEst er’
scar e.Hady oubeena
motherandt ookmeandy ourprecioussont hen
noneoft hi
swoul dhav ehappened.Iwoul dn’t
havelostmyv ir
ginitytoamanol denought obe
myf at
herandIwoul dn’thavebeenmadet o
sl
eepwi thdif
ferentmenev eryday.Iwouldn’t
havebeenasexobj ecthady oubeenabet ter
mothertomel ikey ouar ewithyourson.Just
answermeonequest ion.Whydidn’tyouli
v e
hi
mi nsteadofme?
Her:
yourfatherf
igur
edIwouldmaybemeeta
manandi fIdi
dhedidn’twantt
hatman
mist
reat
inghisdaughter
Inoddedandt ookmybagandr anout.Iwas
boil
i
ngwi t
hsomuchangeri nsi
deofme.Ij ust
wantedtopunchsomethi
ngandmay beI’dbe
bett
er.Shecameandgrabbedmywr i
stasIwas
abouttocrossandacarfl
ewr i
ghtpastinfront
ofme
Me:
youshoul
dhav
eleti
thi
tme.
 
Her:don’tbestupid.Ican’tchanget hepastbut
Lal
aI ’
m sor r
y.I
’m sorryforev eryt
hingyouwent
thr
oughbecauseofmeandy ourf ather
.Wedid
whatwet houghtwasr ightatt hetime.Lal
aI
wantedtot akeyouwi thme, Ireal
lydidbutyour
fat
herbeggedmet oleavey oubehi ndbecause
youwer ear eminderofmet ohi m
Ichuckledindisbeli
ef.I
fIwasthenwhyt hehel
l
didhehi tmewi thhi
sbeltwheninsteadof
ri
ghtingmywr ongsandtalki
ngtomel ikea
normal parentwouldhave.Whydidn’thet r
yto
solv
et hingsinamor erati
onalmannert han
belt
ingme?  
Me:
goodby
eCandi
ceMason.
Ilookedattherobotsandthencr
ossedovert
o
theothersi
dewher eanuberwaswaiti
ngfor
me.Igotinandi tdr
oveofftoAri
’
shome.Igot
thereandtooktheboxandt ooki
tovert
o
Ester’
shouse.Iknockedandshewalkedupand
opened
Her
:so?
Me:
her
eist
hatboxy
ouaskedf
orandi
tsopen
Her
:thanky
ou!
Sheopenedi
tandst
art
edsear
chi
ng
Her
:wher
e’st
her
estoft
his?
Me:
whatdoy
oumean?
Her
:Imeanwher
eist
hewi
l
l?
Me:
whatwi
l
l?
Her
:don’
tpl
aydumbwi
thme
Me:Ireal
l
yhavenoideawhatwi
l
lyout
alki
ng
about
.That’
sal
lthat
’si
nther
e
Shel
ookedatmeandshookherhead
Her
:youmustt
hinky
ousmar
tert
hanme
Me:
noIdon’
t.Goodby
eEst
er
Iwalkedawaybefor
eshecoul
dthr
owany
thr
eatsmyway .t
hatwomanwassomet
hing
else, shewasEVI L!Therewasnotev en
any thingmot herl
yaboutthewayshel ookedat
me.May bei toncewast herebuti twasn’tther
e
any mor e.Thewayshel ookedatmewas
differentf rom howCandi celookedatme,
Candi cehadl oveinherey es,shehadhur tinher
eyesandr egretofprobablyent r
usti
ngher
fri
endwi thme.Ont hewayhomeIdeci dedt o
googl et hiswomanwhocal lshersel
fmymom
andGoogl ehadal ottosayaboutherandher
fami ly.Shehadt wosons, myt winandanot her
l
ittleboywhowasnow5y earsoldandher
husbandwasi nhismid-fort
ieswhi l
eshel ooked
was20y earsoldert
hanme.shewas37y ears
old.IgothomeandTwasst andinginthe
kitchendr i
nkingaglassofwi ne.
 
Hi
m:He…
Ithr
ewaslapathi
m andhehel
dhi
scheek
shocked
Hi
m:Redwhatt
hef
uck?
Me:
youl
i
edt
omeTobi
as!You’
reaf
ucki
ngl
i
ar!
Iwal
kedawayt
omyr
oom andhef
oll
owedme
Hi
m:Redwhatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Me:Iwasapawninyou,Candi
ceandmy
f
ather
’sgame.Wedi
dn’tmeetbychance
Hi
m:RedIc…
Me:
what?Explai
n?Let
’shearitTobi
ascause
t
hat
’sal
lI’
vebeenhear
ingtoday
Hi
m:Ican’
treasonwi
thy
ouwheny
oul
i
ket
his
Me:
thendon’
treasonwi
thmeTobi
as.Tel
lme
t
hefucki
ngtr
uth
Wewer est
andi
ngont
heedgeofthest
air
she
pul
ledmesowewerestandi
ngi
nasaferspotI
guess.
Him:Ihel
pedyourparent
sopenat r
ustfundfor
youandthenyourf
atherhadmeopenonef or
I
vytoo.Whenyourfat
herlosthi
sjobhe
r
eachedouttomeandaskedmet otakecareof
youguy swhenhewasnomor eandnott o
ment ionany t
hingaboutthemoneyhel ef
tyou
andy oursister.Wheny ourfatherdiedIwas
elsewher ebusywi t
hwor ksoIcoul dn’tat
tend
hisfuner al
andmeety ouguy sandwhenwe
mett hatdayIhadj ustgottenbackt heprevious
nightandIwasheadedt oyourplace, whenI
sawy ouIrecognisedyouf r
om api ctureyour
fatherleftmebef orehediedandIknewi twas
yout hatIwasgoi ngto
Thiswholeti
meIwasqui etlooki
ngathim.If elt
soplayedandsoangr y.Goodpeopl edon’texist
,
i
nsteadwemeetpeopl et hatwereplannedt o
meetusandev eryt
hingisjustorchestr
atedfor
us.peopl
ejustl
iketoplayGodnowaday s. 
Hi
m:RedI
’
m sor
ry
Me:
arewer
elat
ed?
Heshookhi
sheadsoqui
ck
Him:
myparentsandyoursgr
ewupt oget
her
andt
heyweregoodfr
iendsfr
om si
ncepri
mary
ti
l
lnow.SomanytimesIwantedt
otel
lyouthe
tr
uthbutyourmot
heri
nsi
stedonyouf
indi
ng
outonyourown
Me: soyouweremeanttokeepaney
eonmy
si
sterandI.f
orhowlong?
Him: asl ongasIcan.Redatf i
rstitwasat ask
butint helongr unIf el
lfory ou, somet hingIwas
notsupposedt obutIcoul dn’ thelpmy sel fandI
knewi twaswr ong.That ’
swhyy ousawMar y-
Annher e,Iwast ryi
ngtodi stractmy selffrom
thi
nkingabouty ouandwant ingt obewi thy ou
butIcoul dn’t
.she’ snotyouRed.Iwantt obe
withyousobadl ybutIcan’ twi thoutr isking
everythingofwhi chI’
m will
ingt or i
ski tall butI
don’tknowwhet herornoty ouf eel thesame
wayespeci al
lywi thMisoint hepi cture
Ichuckledinmyheadt hi
nkingaboutj
usthow
confusingall
ofthiswas.ImeanwhatwasGod
doingtome?Whywasheev endoi
ngthi
stome?
Idon’tdeservesuchconfusi
onshame!Ilooked
athi
m onceandt henwalkedt
omyr oom and
l
ockedt hedoor.Icouldn’
tdot
his.Myphone
wasringingnonest op,i
twasCandiceandAri
cal
li
ngme.
.
.
ToBeCont
inued
[
05/
10,09:
22]Ron:
HELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#21
.
.
Misowasback! !
!Wewer echill
i
ngi nmyf l
at
wi
thmel ayingonhi schestrestingbetweenhis
l
egsplayi
ngwi theachot her’
sfingerschatt
ing,
well
Iwast ell
i
nghi m aboutwhatwentdowni n
hi
sabsence.Ihav en’tseenCandi cesi
ncethe
ot
herdayandIhav ebeeni gnori
ngTobyt oo.I
wentbacktomyf lat.
Hi
m:soar
eyougoi
ngt
oret
urnhercal
l
sorwhat
?
Me:
Idon’twantto.I
’
m sti
ll
try
ingtodi
gestt
hat
myl
itt
lesi
sterandIarehal
fsi
ster
s
Him:youandIvyar
esister
s.Asmuchasyou
werebefor
eknowingt
het rut
h.Thet
rut
h
shoul
dn’
tchangeanyt
hing
Me:
but
Hi
m:But
ter
cup
Me:
Idon’
twantoneofy
ourl
ect
ures
Him: I’
l
lgivey ouoneany way .Thischanges
nothing.Yourmot herisadi f
f erentwomanf rom
theoney ougr ewupl ivi
ngwi th, y
ousaidit
yourself
.Yousai dshehadaspar ki
nhery ou
neverreall
yqui tesawwi thEst erandthat’
sok
becauseEst erwasnev eryourr ealmotherto
beginwi t
h.Giv eCandiceachance, shemight
j
ustbeabet termot herthanthi swomany ou
oncecal l
edy ourmot her
Me:
whati
fshe’
swor
se?
Him:I’
m sur
ey ourfatherwouldn’
tleav
eyouher
detai
l
sifhedidn’tt
hinkfindi
ngherwasworthit
Me:
but
Hi
m:nobut
s.Cal
lherBut
ter
cupandmeetup
wi
thher
Heletgoofmyhandsandt
henhandedmemy
phone.
 
Me:
lat
er
Hi
m:no.now!
Me:
b…
Hi
m:nobut
s
Isighedandwentt ohernumberandthen
pressedthecallbutt
on.I
t’
sbeenaweeksince
herandImetup.Wewer eleftwi
thonemore
weekwhi chisthisoneunti
lweopenschool
s.
Sheanswer edaftersometi
me
*
**PC*
**
Her
:Yol
anda
Me:
Candi
cehi
Her
:howar
eyou?
Me:
I’
m goodt
hanksandhowar
eyou?
Her
:I’
m al
sogoodt
oot
hanky
ou
Me:
arey
oubusy
?
Her
:att
hemomentno
Me:
youst
il
lar
ound?
Her
:ofcauseI
’
m st
il
lar
ound
Me:
canwemeetupf
orbr
eakf
astt
omor
row?
Her
:ofcause.I
’
dlov
ethat
Me:
I’
ll
texty
ouwher
etomeetup
Her
:uhhm t
hanky
ou
Me:
bye
Her
:by
e
*
**EndofPC*
**
Heki
ssedmyneckandIgi
ggl
ed
Hi
m:I
’
m pr
oudofy
ou 
Me:
yeahwhat
ever
Him:Kyl
eisnotYay
a’ssonandshel
oveshi
m
l
ikehe’
sherown
Me:
real
l
y?
Him:yeah.Hismom isthisot
herwomandad
datedforl
ikeaweekort woandshi
itwent
downandshegotpr egnantandKyl
ewasthe
resul
t
Me:
woul dexpl
ainhi
scompl
exi
oncompar
edt
o
t
herestofyouguys
Hi
m:andhowar
ether
estofus?
Me: y
ouguysarecaramelwhi
l
ehe’swhi
teand
helooksnot
hingl
ikeyourmom l
i
keyouand
yoursibl
i
ngs
Hi
m:Idon’
tlookl
i
keYay
a
Ichuckl
edandhel
aughed
Me:
sot
het
att
oo…whendi
dyougeti
t?
Hi
m:bef
oreIwenthome.
 
Me:
andYay
a?
Him:
shealmostbi tmyheadoff
.Shewason
someti
pthatIshouldgeti
tremovedanddad
cametomydef ence
Me:
yeahmay
benextt
imey
ou’
l
lli
stent
ome
Hi
m:ar
ghYay
aov
err
eact
stoomuch
Me:
doy
oubl
ameher
?
Hi
m:sowhenar
eyoucal
l
ingToby
?
Me:
huh?
Him:t
heguydidn’
tbuyy
ouButter
cup.Hewas
onl
ytr
ynahel
py ouandI
vyoutandhegotyour
mom offy
ourback
Me:I’
m notmadaboutthemoney ,I
’
m mad
abouthowhehandledthesit
uat
ion.Li
kewe
somesortofit
emsy oucanputpri
ceson.It
real
l
ypissesmeoffandittookmebacktoa
ti
mei nmyli
feIwouldli
ketofor
getcomplet
ely
about
. 
Hi
m:seewhyy
ouneedt
oseeat
her
api
st?
Me:
I’
m notseei
ngadamnshr
inkandt
hat
’st
hat
!
Hi
m:f
inet
hen.Cal
lToby
Me:
lat
erMi
so.
Hi
m:hungr
y?
Me:
notr
eal
l
y.Yousai
dyoul
oveme
Hi
m:Idi
d?I
tmusthav
ebeent
hesex
Itur
nedt
olookathi
m andhelaughed,
Ireall
y
wantedt
odoafoll
owupont hewholeIloveyou
shii
t
Hi
m:Imeantev
erywor
dBut
ter
cup
Hewasl
ooki
ngst
rai
ghti
ntomyey
es
Me:
youcan’
tdot
hatMi
so
Hi
m:dowhat
?
Me:
loveme.i
tdoesn’
texist
,it
’sj
ustashor
tcut
t
ogett
ingy
ourheart
broken
Him:takeithowev eryouwantt otakeit
Butt
ercupbutIlovey ouandIr eal
lywanttobe
wit
hy ou.Iknowy ouf eel
thesameandbecause
Il
oveandr especty ouIwon’tpressur
ey oui
nto
anyt
hing
Me:isn’
tital
i
ttl
etoolat
etosayt
hatnow?
seei
ngthatwe’v
ealr
eadyhadsexandal
l
Hi
m:hahahawecanhavel
otsofsexandIst
il
l
won’
tpr
essur
eyouint
oanyt
hingyoudon’
twant
t
odo
Ifoundmy selfl
aughi
ngandhej ustsmi
led
watchingmel aughathim.Misowasjust
anothercharact
erandIlovedhi
scharacter
becausehewassocar efr
eeandjustamazing
tobear ound
Me:
what
ever
Hi
m:Ir
eal
l
ywantt
oki
ssy
our
ightnow
Me:
thenwhat
’sst
oppi
ngy
ou?
Hi
m:Idon’
twantt
odoany
thi
ngy
oudon’
twant
t
odo
Iturnedmywholebodyar oundandfacedhim
withmyhandswr appedaroundhisneckand
thenkissedhi
ssoftyummyl ipswit
hhishands
resti
ngonmyass.I ’
m notyourtypi
calwhi
tegir
l
withasuperfl
atass.Someofuswer efor
tunat
e
enought ohav
eanass, Igotitf
rom mymom ey
causeIvyisasfl
atastheycome.Hebr okethe
kissandjustl
ookedatme
Hi
m:f
orawhi
tegi
rly
ousur
ehav
eanass
Ipul
l
edhi sear
.Wej ustshar
edagr eatki
ssand
hebrokeitt
otell
met hat?Reall
yguys?He
l
aughedandIgiggledatthesightofhim
l
aughing
Hi
m:okokst
oppul
l
ingmyear
.I’
m sor
ry
Me:
kissme
Hi
m:hel
lno
Me:
what
? 
Hi
m:l
et’
snotst
artsomet
hingwewon’
tfi
nish.I
don’
thav
econdomswi
thme
Me:
we’
l
lgett
hemor
ningaf
terpi
l
ltomor
row
Hi
m:don’
twannat
akeanyr
isks.
Ij
ustl
ookedathi
m
Hi
m:nextt
imeBut
ter
cup.Don’
tsul
know
Me:
I’
m notsul
ki
ng.
 
Hi
m:y
ousoador
abl
e
Me:
scr
ewy
ou!
Hi
m:what
ever
Hehi
tmynoseplayf
ull
yandl
aughedatme.I
won’
tli
eIwasannoy
edbutwhatwasItodo.
Hi
m:l
etswat
chamov
ie
Me:
gotany
thi
ngi
nmi
nd?
Hi
m:any
thi
ngbut50shades
Me:buti
t’
sanicemov
ie.Nev
ermi
ndt
hesex
andever
ythi
ng
Hi
m:i
t’
sar
eapof
f.Ir
eadt
hebookandi
ts
not
hingl
i
ket
hemov
ie
Me:
Ididn’
treadthebookandIf
eel
li
ket
he
movi
ewasni ce
Hi
m:youshouldreadthebookthenbecause
t
hebooki
sev ery
thingthemovi
eisnot
Me:
woul
dyoudot
hat
?
Hi
m:dowhat
?
Me:
WhatChr
ist
ianGr
eydoes
Hi
m:i
fyoucomf
ort
abl
einexpl
ori
ng
Me:
not
hanky
ou
Hi
m:i
t’
snotasbadasi
tlooks
Me:
andhowwoul
dyouknow?Ev
ert
ri
edi
t?
Him:nobutI’
dlov
etot
ryi
toutwi
thy
ou
Butt
ercup 
Me:
I’
m nott
hatbol
d. 
Hi
m:t
henwewon’
tdoi
t
Me:
Ilov
eyou
Icl
aspedmymout h.Idon’ tknowwher ethat
camef r
om butIjustsaidit.Ithi
nkhewasj ust
asshockedasIwas.It hi
nkImeanti t.Idon’t
know.Arghwhat’swr ongwi thme, y
ouseet he
thi
ngsMi somakesmedoandsay ?Hemakes
meweak.Hewasn’ tsmi l
i
ngorl aughing,I
couldn’
treadhi
sexpr essionletal
one
underst
andit.
.
 
.
ToBeCont
inued
[
05/
10,09:
22]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#22
.
.
Me:
uhhm
Hi
m:y
ouj
ustsai
dyoul
oveme
Me:
urr
h
Hi
m:But
ter
cup
Ijustbur
iedmyfaceinhischestandtr
iedt
o
processwhatI
’v
ej ustputmysel
fin.hi
sphone
rang…ThankGod.
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:Hel
l
o
Per
son:
Heybabear
eyoubusy
?
Hi
m:GoodMi
chel
l
eandhowar
eyou?
Her
:I’
m Ok.Cany
oucomeandf
etchmepl
ease?
Hi
m: arey
ouok?y
ousoundl
i
key
ou’
vebeen
cr
ying
Her
:pl
easej
ustcomef
etchme
Hi
m:sendmey
ourl
ocat
ion.
 
Her
:ok
*
**EndofPC*
**
Hi
m:But
ter
cupwehav
etogo.
Me:
issheok?
Hi
m:Idon’
tknow.Let
’sgo
Igotoffofhim andthenhet ookhiscarkey
s
andhisphonebeepedi ndicati
ngMichell
e’
s
l
ocation.Iwaswor ri
edaboutherbecausethis
personsoundedshakenov ert
hephone.Wegot
tothehouseandi twasabeaut if
ulhousewith
beautif
ulcar
spar kedoutsi
de
Me:
ist
hisMi
chel
l
e’shome?
Hi
m:noi
tsherboy
fri
end’
spl
ace
Ijustnodded.Hel ookedatmebef oreget ti
ng
outandIj ustlookedout sidebecauseIwasnot
goingtogetoutwi t
hhim.Hewal kedi nsidet he
houseaf terlocki
ngthecardoor sandt henhe
camebackaf t
erawhi l
ecar ryi
ngMi chell
ei nhis
armsbr idalstyl
e.Igotoutandopenedt hedoor
forhim andheputheri nandcov eredherwi th
hisjacket.Shewaswear ingaski mpyski rtwith
acr optopv estandapai rofheel s.Shel ooked
l
ikeamess.Hegoti nsidet hedri
v er’
sseat
l
ookingallki
ndsofpi ssedandIjustkeptquiet
andstarr
edoutsi de.Hehadv einspoppingin
hisf
ist
sashecl enchedt hesteer
ingwheel
ti
ght
er.Wegott ot hehospi t
alandhecar ri
ed
heri
nside.Iwalkedi nbehindhim andsatnext
tohi
m andr est
edmyheadonhi sshoulder
.
Me:
wantany
thi
ngt
oeatordr
ink?
Hewassol osti
nhisownwor l
dIwast r
yingt
o
breakthei
ce.We’v
ebeenhereforover2or3
hoursnow.fr
om whatIgat
heredjudgi
ngbythe
brui
sesonherfaceafi
ghtbrokeout.
Him:not
hanks.Doy
ouneedmet
otakey
ou
home?
Me:
noI
’
llst
aywi
thy
ou
Hi
m:y
ousur
e?
Me:
yeah.She’
smyf
ri
endt
oo
Henodded
Me:youdon’
thappent
ohav
eherpar
ent
’s
numbers?
Hi
m:no.pl
easefi
ndoutf
rom Mi
aifshehas
t
hei
rnumbersornot
Inodded.
Me:
she’
sgoi
ngt
obef
ine
Hi
m:Ihopeso
Iwalkedawayandcal l
edMi aandshesai dshe
wasonherway .Sai
dMi chel
le’
sparents
wouldn’tcomeherebecauseMi chell
eli
edto
them andsaidshewasgoi ngtoMi a’
splaceand
nowi ft
heyfoundoutshel i
edhellwouldbreak
l
oose.
Me:
Miasai
dshe’
l
lhandl
eit
Henodded.
Me:
Misowhathappenedi
nther
e?
Him:Idon’
twanttol i
etoyouButter
cup,Idon’
t
know.WhenIgotther eherboy
fri
endwas
passedoutonthefloorandshewascur l
edup
i
nacor ner
.It
hinktheyfoughtorsomething
Adoctorcal
l
edMi
chel
l
e’snameandwebot
h
gotup.
Her
:wher
ear
eherpar
ent
s?
Mi
so:
howi
sshe?
Her
:Ineedherpar
ent
s
Miso:herparent
sar
eoutoft
hecount
ryandwe
can’
treachthem.Howi
sshe?
Her
:andy
ouar
e?
Me:
he’
sherboy
fri
endandI
’
m hersi
ster
.
MisolookedatmeandIlookedatthedoc.
Michel
leiswhit
eandMisoisblack…whatwasI
t
osay ?
Me:
howi
sshe?Canweseeher
?
Doc:
shesuf
fer
edf
rom headt
rauma
Il
ookedatherr
eal
l
yconf
used
Me:
headt
rauma?
Doc:
yes.I
t’
sli
kesomeonebashedherhead
againstsomethingbutshe’
sokandshe’
ssti
l
l
al
ive,eventhoughshehasaf ewbr
okenri
bs
andnonef atali
nter
nali
njur
ies
Inodded
Mi
so:
canweseeher
?
Doc:Ineedyout
wot
otel
lmet
het
rut
h.What
happened?
Me:Shecal
leduscr
yingandaskedust
ofet
ch
her
.shesoundedr
eal
lyscar
ed
Doc:
okpl
easef
oll
owme
Docdi dn’tseem convi
ncedatal
lbyourli
esbut
wehadt o.Wegott oherwardandshewas
sl
eepingwi thanoxygenmaskcoveri
ngher
mout handnoseandhadabandagewr apped
aroundherhead.Ihel donti
ghtl
ytoMisoaswe
gotcloser .Sheevenhadablueeye.Whatever
happenedmusthav ebeenthatbad.
Doc:
mayIpl
easespeakt
oyoual
oneout
side
Me:
uhhm ok.
Wewal
kedoutoft
hewar
d. 
Her
:Iknowy
oul
yi
ng
Il
ookedatherpuzzl
ed
Her
:tel
lmet
het
rut
h
Me:
Idon’
tknowwhatt
rut
hyouar
elooki
ngf
or
Her
:I’
m notstupi
dli
tt
legi
rl
.youei
thert
ell
me
t
hetrut
horIinvol
vethecops
Me:okf i
ne.I
’m herfri
endandsoistheguyI’m
wit
h.shecall
edusshakenandcr yi
ngandasked
ustofetchherandl i
keanynormalfr
iendswe
di
dn’taskanyquest i
ons,wewenttofetchher
andbroughtherstrai
ghthere.
 
Her
:di
dyouknowt
haty
ourf
ri
endwaspr
egnant
?
Me:
was?Whatdoy
oumean?
Her:
yourf
ri
endwasbeatupt
oapoi
ntwher
e
shehadamiscar
ri
age
Icl
aspedmymout
hwi
thbot
hhands.Mi
chel
l
e
waspregnant
?
Doc:
I’
m sor
ry
Me:
uhhm t
hanky
oudoc
Her:youcangoinbuty
oucan’
tst
ayf
orl
ongas
vi
sit
inghoursar
eover
Inoddedandt
hendoclef
tandIst
oodbyt
he
doorforawhi
l
ebefor
ewalki
ngin
Her:
hefoundoutaboutusandhegotreal
l
y
angr
y.Idon’
tknowhowhef oundout
Hi
m:I
’
m sor
ry
Her:
heaccusedmeofl yi
ngtohi
m andwanti
ng
hi
mt ot
akeresponsi
bil
i
tyforababyt
hatwasn’
t
hi
s
Hi
m:baby
?
Her
:I’
m pr
egnant
. 
Him:andhowsur
eareyouthatt
hebabyy
ou
carr
yingi
shi
sandnotmine?
Her
:becausei
tcan’tpossi
blybeyours.It
ook
t
hemor ni
ngaf
terthedayafteryouandIhad
sex
Henodded
Her:
MisoIlov
ey ou,
Ial
waysdi
d.Ishoul
dhave
nev
erfool
edaroundwhenweweretoget
her
.I
messedusup
Iclear
edmyt hroatandt heybotht ur
nedtol
ook
atme.Mi chel
l
e’sf acial
expressionwasnotso
welcomingatall.Iunderstandthatsheisi
n
hospit
alandallbutt heleastshecoulddois
fakeasmi l
e.
Me:
uhhm heyy
ou’
reawake
Her
:yes.Thanky
ou
Me:
glady
ou’
reok.I
’
m sor
ryf
ory
ourl
oss
Her
:loss?
Hi
m:l
oss?
Me:
uhhm
Callmejeal
ousorwhatev
erbutshedeser
vesit
.
Michel
leisabi
tch!Shewant
sthebestofbot
h
worldsandnowt hatIhaveMi so’
sattent
ionshe
suddenlywantshim andsuddenlyloveshim?
I’
m sorr
yitdoesn’
twor kl
ikethat.Misoismine
now. 
Mi
so:
But
ter
cupwhatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Me:
I’
m sor
ryMi
chel
l
ebuty
oul
ostt
hebaby
Her
:youl
yi
ng
Me:
whil
eyouwer
esleepi
ng,
yourdoct
orasked
metobr
eakt
henewstoyou
SheshookherheadandMi solookedatme, I
j
ustshr ugged.Curseandcallmewhat ever
namebutwhatwer eyougoingtodoi nmy
sit
uation,t
hisbit
chi soucheaconfessi
ngher
feel
ingstomyman.Shootmeok!hebr ushed
herhandasshecr ied
Me:
I’
ll
giv
eyout
wosomespace
Iwalkedout.Iwasreval
uatedbyjustwat
ching
her.I’
m notajeal
ouspersonbutIguessmy
feel
ingsforMisoareget
tingthebestofme.I
cal
l
edT,
Misosai
dtocal
lhi
m any
way
.
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:Red.ThankGod,ar
ey ouok?I
’
vebeen
l
ooki
ngforyouev
erywhere
Me:
T,I
’
mfi
ne.Howar
eyou?
Hi
m: i
t’
sgreatt
oheary
ourv
oice,
I’
vebeen
wor
ri
edsickabouty
ou
Me:I’
m sur
eyouhav
ebutI
’
mfi
neT.Howhav
e
youbeen?
Him:missingyouthat
’sal
landwor
ri
edsickand
yoursi
sterhasbeenonmyneckaboutyour
whereabouts
Me:
Ihaven’
ttol
dherany
thi
ngy
et.Ar
eyoubusy
t
omorr
ow?
Hi
m:I
’
mfr
eeatl
unch
Me:
I’
ll
seey
out
hen
Hi
m:t
hanky
ouRed
Me:
don’
tment
ioni
t.Nextt
imedon’
tli
etome
pl
ease
Hi
m:l
essonl
ear
nt.
 
Me:
I’
ll
seey
out
omor
row
Hi
m: can’
twegooutf
orar
eal
l
ysuperl
ate
l
unch?
Me:nahnott
odayT.We’
l
lmeetupt
omor
row
i
nst
ead
Hi
m:hav
eyouspokent
oyourmom?
Me:
yes,
andwemeet
ingupf
orbr
eakf
ast
Hi
m:ohokt
hen
Me:
ByeT
Hi
m:by
eRed
*
**EndofPC*
**
Miawal
kedupt
omeandgav
emeahug.We
br
okeit
Her
:Wher
eisshe?I
ssheok?Whathappened?
Me:
She’
sok,
shel
ostt
hebabyandIt
hinkshe
andherboy
fri
endhadaf
ight
…ther
estshewi
l
l
tel
lyou
Her
:thanky
ouYol
aforcomi
ngt
hrough
Me:
Ist
il
lthi
nkherpar
ent
sneedt
oknow
Her
:herpar
ent
swoul
dmur
derherYol
a
Inodded.Itoldherwher eherf r
iend’sroom was
andthentoldherIneededt heloo.Iwal kedto
thedoctor
’sof f
iceandenqui redabout
contr
acepti
v es.
 I’
m scaredofneedl esandIt end
tofor
getsoIopt edfortheiudbecauset henat
l
eastI’
lldoamont hlycheckupandI ’
ll
begood
togo.WhenIwasdoneIpai dandt henIwentt o
fi
ndMi sowhowasbusyt rynacallsomeoneand
heseemedr eallyfrust
rated
Me:
ever
ythi
ngok?
Hi
m:wherethehel
lwer
eyou?Di
dn’
tyouseemy
mi
ssedcal
ls?
Me:Iwasatthedoct
or’
sof
fi
ce.Ev
ery
thi
ngok?
younev
ershoutatme
Him:Iwaswor
riedaboutyou.Onemi
nut
eyou
hereandt
henextyoudisappear
Me:i
t’
scut
eofy
out
owor
ryaboutmebutI
’
m
f
ine
Hi
m:whatwer
eyoudoi
ngatt
hedoct
or’
sof
fi
ce?
Me:
per
sonal
mat
ter
s
Whil
eIwasinther
eIal
sodi
dapr egnancytest
andahivt
estandbot
hwerenegati
ve.Hejust
nodded
Hi
m:r
eadyt
ogohome?
Me:
ofcause
Heputhisheavyarm ar
oundmyneckandwe
walkedouttohiscar
.Hedr ov
epastMacDand
boughtusfoldovermealandthendroveus
home.Wewentt ohi
sapartmentandhethrew
himsel
fonthecouchandIputt hefoodonthe
tabl
eandgotont opofhi
m andwr appedmy
armsaroundhisneckandher est
edhim onmy
ass.
Me:
youandMi
chel
l
ehuh?
Hi
m:y
ouhear
dthat
?
Me:
sowhat
?Wer
eyout
woani
tem orwhat
?
Him: Iwantedust obeonebutshet oldmeshe
hadaboy f
riendandcoul donl ysett
letobef uck
buddies.Atf i
rstIwasn’ tforitbutanigga’s
gottaeatsowedi dourt hi
ngunt il
Isawy ou
aroundcampus.Ist ar
tedget ti
ngdistantand
thenwhenMi abef ri
endedy ou,IknewIhadt o
tryevery
thingi nordertobewi thyouev enifit
meantget ti
ngy oujeal
ousov erher 
Me:
anddi
ditwor
k?
Hechuckl
ed
Hi
m: It
hinki
tdid.Lookatyounow.Isawy our
f
acewheny oubrokethenewstoher,your
j
eal
ousyiscuteactual
ly
Hesaidplant
inganunexpectedkissonmy
par
tedli
ps.Ididn’
twanttorespondbutgood
GodMiso’sli
psdidthethi
ngst oaladyandI
wasonceagai
nweakf
orhi
m.
.
.
ToBeCont
inued
[
05/
10,09:
22]Ron:
*THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#23
.
.
Aft
erlastnightIdidn’tt
hinkI’dbeabl
et owalk
butIcould.MisoandIwental lni
ghtandeven
thi
smor ningandIwon’ tliethepai
nwasn’tas
badandt hepleasureIgotf r
om ital
lis
i
nexpli
cable.Tosayt heleast ,
Iwascontent
.We
wereinthebat ht
ubt ogetherandhewasput t
ing
shampooonmyhai r
Hi
m:y
ousur
eyou’
l
lbeabl
etowal
ktoday
Me:
it’
sal
lyourf
aul
t
Hi
m:youdi
dn’
tst
opmet
houghmeani
ngy
ou
want
edust
o
Me: wi
l
l youbedr
ivi
ngmet
her
eory
ougoi
ngt
o
vi
sitMichel
le?
Hi
m:soshest
oppedbei
ngMi
tch?
 
Me:
shutup
Hechuckl
ed
Him:I
’
lldr
opyouoffandy
ou’
l
lcal
lmewheny
ou
needmetofet
chyou
Me:
act
ual
l
yIwasthi
nki
ngofmeet
ingupwi
th
I
vyt
oosoI
’l
lseey
oulat
er 
Hi
m: sur
ething.You’
llcal
lwheny
ouneedmet
o
f
etchyouthat’
sallI
’m sayi
ng
Me:Imightsl
eepoveratTobi
as’
place.Ical
l
ed
hi
my est
erdayandweagreedtomeetup
Hi
m:okcool
Me:
younotj
eal
ousorwhat
soev
er?
Hi
m:I
’
mtheoney
ourt
oldy
oul
oveandnot
hi
m…I
’
m good
It
urnedt
ohi
m andhejustsmi
l
edandpl
ant
eda
ki
ssonmyli
psandbrokeit
Me:
youar
esomet
hingel
se
Hi
m:IknowBut
ter
cup.
 
Whenwewer edonehedrov emeofftothemal l
andmot herdear
estwasalreadywait
ingforme
l
ookingaselegantasusual
.Womanwasv er
y
punctualwheret
imewasconcer nedIdon’t
wannal i
e.Wesharedahugandt henbrokeit
andsatdown.Ihadcall
edI vytomeetusher e
andshewasonherwayt oo.
Her
:howar
eyou?Youl
ookbeaut
if
ul
Me:thanky
ou.I
’
m goodt
hanksandhowar
e
you?
Her
:I’
m goodt
oo.t
hanky
ouf
orcont
act
ingme
Me:soi
sther
eany
thi
ngel
set
hatIneedt
o
knowmaybe?
Her:Ei
thert
hanyourbrot
hers,nothere’
s
nothi
ng.Lal
aIdon’
tknowwhaty ou’
vebeen
thr
oughandIhatemy sel
fforwhatyouwent
thr
oughandIwouldreall
yli
ket omakeitupto
you
Me:noneedf
orthat
.Ical
l
edmysi
stert
omeet
usher
eIhopeyoudon’
tmind
Her
:notatal
l
Me:Ihopeyounotexpecti
ngyouandItopl
ay
happyfami
lynowandmet ocal
lyoumom or
motherorwhatev
erofthatnat
ure
Her
:not
ed.Any
thi
ngel
se?
Me:
we’
l
lfi
gur
eev
ery
thi
ngel
seaswegoal
ong
Her
:doest
hismeany
oul
ett
ingmei
ntoy
ourl
i
fe?
Me: yout
heonlyparentIhave.Mightaswell
.
ButIam notmovingtoNewYor kwit
hyouor
readj
usti
ngmylif
etoaccommodat eyou,y
ou
goingtobetheonetodot hat.I
vyandIcomeas
apackage
Her
:thatmuchIknow
Me:
goodt
hen.
Justt
henIvygreetedandwesharedahugand
shesatdownaf t
ergreet
ingCandi
ce.She
l
ookedatCandiceandbackatmeandt hen
backatherandbackatme
Me: SismeetCandiceYolandaMason.She’
sa
fashionbuyerandshe’smymot herandshehas
twoot hersonsofwhichoneofthem ismytwin.
She’smar ri
edandsheandToby ’
sparentswere
fri
endsandIdon’tknowwhatt oorderpl
ease
suggestsomet hi
ng.
That
’showI vynor
mall
ybr okenewst omewhen
shewantedtotell
mesomet hi
nganddidn’t
knowhowt o.shewouldjustsayeveryt
hingat
onceandI’
llbetheonetof i
lt
eri
tal
l out
.bythe
ti
meIwasdonehermout hwashangi ngloose.
Me:cl
osey
ourmouthorfl
i
eswi
l
lent
er.Candi
ce
t
hisi
smyli
ttl
esi
sterYv
ett
e
Candy
:ni
cetomeety
ouI
vy,
Ihav
ehear
dso
muchabouty
ou
IwasstunnedandthenIr
emember
edt
hatshe
gotr
eportsfr
om Toby
I
vy:SoyouandIarehal
f-
sisters,meani
ngwe
onl
yshareafat
herwit
hdifferentmother
s?
Me:
soundsaboutr
ight
Iv
y:expl
ainswherey
ougott
hehai
rbutIdon’
t
knowwher eIgotmi
ne
Candy:yourf
ather
.Hedyedhishai
rbl
ackwhen
hegrewupandi nschool
theywoul
dn’
tlethi
m
keepitt
hatcolour
I
vy:
andmymot
her
?
Candy:
Iwoul
dn’
tknowbecausehernat
ural
hai
r
col
ourwasbr
unet
tethel
astti
meIsawher
Me:
it’
sli
keI
vy’
snow
Candi
cenodded.
I
vy:
nicet
omeety
ouLal
a’
smom
Candi
ce:
nicet
omeety
out
oo
Me:
younotmadorsomet
hing?
Iv
y:Idon’
thaveanyreasont
obe.Wesi
ster
s
andthat’
sal
lthatmatt
ers
Ibrushedherhandandshesmi led.Wegott o
knoweachot herbet t
erwithCandiceand
throughthatget ti
ngtoknoweachot herwe
almoststayedt i
l
llunchbutshehadt of l
yback
forsomef ashionv iewingorwhatev er.Shedi d
offertogowi thusbutIt oldhernott histi
me
aroundandt hatIwoul df l
ytoNYl atertoday .
Shesai dshewoul dbookmean11pm t i
cket
thenbecauset heearli
eronethant hatwasf ull
y
booked.Ivywasr eall
yfondofthiswoman.We
wer eonourwayt omeetTandwewer etalking
abouthermot her.Shewant edtogoandsee
her
Me:
Ivycomeon
Her:
whetherwewantt
oaccepti
tornotLal
a,
she’
sst
il
lmymother
Me:
not
hingIsaywi
l
lconv
incey
ouot
her
wise
Sheshookherhead
Me:
atl
eastl
etmegowi
thy
ou
Her
:Lal
aI’
l
lbef
ine
Ij
ustnoddedandgotof fatther estaurantwhile
shedroveofft
oseehermot her.Twasal ready
seat
edandasIwaswal kingtowar dshi m Igota
messagef r
om Misowritt
en“ NguweWedwa”
andIjustsmil
edalone,
mor el i
keIgi ggled
T:
youok?
Me:
it’
snot
hing.Hey
Ihuggedhi
m andhehuggedmebackandt
hen
wesatdownopposit
eeachother
Hi
m:y
oul
ookgood,
yougl
owi
ng
Me:
it’
sthi
sthi
ngcal
l
edl
i
fe.Howar
eyou?
Hi
m:I
’
m okandhowar
eyou?
Me:
great
.Candi
cei
sani
nter
est
ingper
son
Hi
m:nomom?
Me:
nah.Toosoont
obepl
ayi
nghappyf
ami
l
y,
I
’mfl
yi
ngtoNYtoni
ght
Henodded
Me:Tthankyoufort
hethingsyoudidbecause
myparentsputy
ouupt odo.Youdidn’
thaveto
butyoudi
dandIreal
isedthatIwasbeingan
ungr
atef
ulbit
chandI’
m sorry
. 
Hi
m:Red
Me:
Ibehav
edl
i
keabr
atTandt
hat
’snotme
Hi
m:Iunder
stand
Me:thi
ngiswheny ousignedthatchequeso
easi
lyi
tbr
oughtbackoldwoundsandt ookme
backtoaplaceIneverwanttogobackt o
Him:I’
m sorr
yfort
hewayIhandl
edt
hingsandI
di
dn’tmeantotakeyoubackt
owher
ey ou’
ve
beenbefore
Me:
Wegood?
Hi
m:wegood
Weshookhandsandl aughedathowwe
probabl
yl ookedfrom thepersonwatchi
ngus.I
j
usthadami lkshakewhileheateup.Hegotup
topayandIt extedMi sotocomeandf etchme
atBESSl awf i
rm becausethat’
swhereToby
waswor kingtodayandt hecaféwewer einwas
j
ustnextt oBESS
Hi
m:soy
ouandMi
so
Wewer
ewal
ki
ngout
Me:
yeah
Him:i
fhemakesy
ouhappyt
henI
’
m happyf
or
you
Me:
thanky
ou
Hi
m:butRedi
fhedar
etr
iesany
thi
ng
Me:
Iknowwhot
ocal
ldon’
twor
ry
Hi
m:good
Wespokeaboutusel
esst
hingswhi
l
ewewer
e
wai
ti
ngforMi
so.Hepar
kedinfr
ontofusand
hegr
eet
edTthenwegotinanddrov
eoff
Hi
m:howwasl
unchandbr
eakf
ast
?
Me:
itwasgood.Candi
cei
sagoodper
son
Hi
m:Iknewy
ou’
dli
keher
Me:
what
ever
Hi
m:andToby
?
Me:
all
good.Heknowswet
oget
her
Hi
m:sowet
oget
hernow?
Me:
Miso
Him:I
’mj
ustst
unnedt
hat
’sal
l
.I’
m happyt
hat
youadmi
tt
ingi
t
Me:
whatev
er.Whenar
eyout
eachi
ngmehow
t
odri
ve?
Him:ther
e’sadozendr
ivi
ngschool
sar
ound
here
Me:
butIwantmyboy
fri
endt
oteachme
Hi
m:I
’
dlov
etot
eachy
oubutnotwi
thmycar
Me:
comeon
Hi
m:noway
sbabes.
 
Me:
soy
oul
ovey
ourcarmor
ethany
oul
oveme?
Him:ev
enifIdi
dn’
t,
ifIwr
ecki
t,Iai
ntget
ti
ng
anot
herone
Me:
fine
Hepul
l
edmyhandandki
ssedi
t
Me:youdon’
tknowwher
ethosehandshav
e
been
Hi
m:butIknowwhatt
hey
’vet
ouched
Ifoundmy
sel
flaughi
ngathowdi
rt
ymi
ndedt
his
guywas
Me:
yousodi
rt
y
Hi
m:andy
oul
ovemel
i
ket
hatbeaut
if
ul 
Me:
alr
ight
.
Hi
sphoner
angandi
twashi
smot
her
.He
answer
edi
t
*
**PC*
**
Her
:Mi
sokuhl
eDani
elBess
Hi
m:am Ii
ntr
oubl
e?
Her :Ij
ustmissmyson.Haven’
tseenhim ever
sincewegotbackf r
om SouthAfr
ica,
star
tingt
o
thinkthathe’
sseei
ngsomeone
Hi
m:may
behei
s
Her:andshe’
smaki
ngy
oul
osecont
actwi
th
yourmother?
Hi
m:nev
erYay
a
Her
:then?
Hi
m: Iwi
l
lcomesl
eepov
ert
omor
row.How’
s
t
hat?
Her:wewon’tbehome.YourfatherandIhave
toatt
endsomebor i
ngassconference.He’
s
giv
ingaspeech
Hi
m:t
hatsucks.Sowhenwi
l
lyouguy
sbeback?
Her:maybenextweek.Wef i
guredwemi ghtas
wellmakeaholi
dayoutofit.He’snotcopi
ng
wit
heveryt
hingthat
’shappenedy ouknow
Hi
m:y
eahIknow.
 
Her
:howar
eyouhol
dingup?
him:I’
m holdi
ngupokmom.I
’
llcomesl
eep
ther
etonight 
Hel
ookedatmeaf
tersay
ingt
hat
Her:
IhopesoMiso.Youdoknowt
haty
oucan
st
il
lgofort
her
apyright
?
Hi
m:I
’
vegoti
tcov
eredmom don’
twor
ry
Her:Ir
eal
lyhopeso.Boobi
eisf
lyi
ngi
nnext
weekend
Hi
m:t
hat
’sgr
eat
.Ican’
twai
t
Her
:may
bey
ou’
l
lbear
egul
arher
eathome
Hi
m:mot
herdon’
tst
art
.Wher
e’sy
ourdaught
er?
Her
:Ihav
enoi
dea.Ky
lei
stheonl
yoneher
e
Hi
m:okcool
.Mom Il
ovey
ouandby
enow
Her
:asi
fyout
heonet
hatcal
l
ed.By
eMi
sokuhl
e
Hi
m:y
ouf
orget
ti
ngsomet
hing
Her
:what
’st
hat
?
Hi
m:r
eal
l
yYay
a?
Her
:doesn’
tyourgi
rl
fr
iendev
ert
ell
you?
Hi
m:askher
,she’
ssi
tt
ingr
ightnextt
ome
Icl
aspedmymout
handhel
aughed
Her
:heygi
rl
fr
iend
Me:
hiMr
sBess
Her
: soyouthegi
rl
fr
iend.Howar
eyou
but
tercup?
Me:
I’
m goodMr
sBessandhowar
eyou?
Her
:I’
m goodt
oobaby
Hi
m:okmom enough
Her
:Ihav
en’
tev
ensai
dany
thi
ngy
et
Him:Iknowwhatyougoi
ngtosayandnoshe’
s
notcomingov
eranyti
mesoon 
Her
:fi
ne.By
eBut
ter
cup
Me:
byeMr
sBess
Hi
m:by
emom
*
**EndofPC*
**
Wewer eintheunder
groundparki
nginour
buil
dingal
ready
.heranhishandthroughhi
s
brushcutandgoodGodt hi
smanwassexy .He
si
ghed.
.

[
05/
10,09:
22]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#24
.
.
Myboy fri
endandIwer egood…Feel sgood
call
i
nghi mt hat.Iwasnowi nNewYor kandas
muchashewasn’ thappywi ththeshor tnot ice
becauseappar entlyhehadpl annedsomet hing
forl
at eronbuthewasmor ethansuppor tiveof
theideaofmemeet ingmyt winandot her
brother.Ihav en’theardanythingfrom Ivysi nce
yesterdayandIdon’ tknowwhet herIshoul dbe
worriedorwhatbecausesheal sowasn’ t
answer ingherphoneandt hattoowasr aising
upmypr essure.CandiceandIwer edriving
homef rom theai r
por t
,Iwasdeadt i
red.
Her
:youmustbet
ir
ed?
Me:
yep.Ij
ustwantt
osl
eepandwakeup
t
omorr
owlater
Shechuckl
ed 
Her
:yousoundl
i
key
oul
ovey
ourbeaut
yrest
Me:
youhav
enoi
dea
Her:IdobecauseIgetcr
ankywhensomeone
wakesmeup
Ichuckl
ed.Yept
hisbeaut
if
ulr
edheadi
smy
mom alri
ght
Me:
Ishoul
dcal
lMi
soandt
ell
himI
’
m saf
e
Ihadadozenmi ssedcallsf rom him.nigga
shouldbesleepingbutinst eadheouchea
call
ingmenonest op.Icalledhim andhe
answeredsamet i
memaki ngmel augh.He
soundedsleepyandhi sv oicewasdoi nga
numberonme…ohr i
ghthe’ salsopar tl
ywhyI
wasdeadt ir
ed, wehadal otofsessi onsbefore
Iwenttoboar dtheplaneandIdi dn’tgetmuch
sleepontheplanebecauseofmyownt r
ust
i
ssueswi t
hhei ghtsofwhi chi twasn’tasbadas
IthoughtbutyeahIt r
avelledwel landMi soand
Isaidwewoul dspeaki nthemor ninginstead
becausenowhej ustwant edt osleepknowi ng
thatIwassafe.
Her
:boy
fri
end?
Me:
yeah
Her
:howol
dishe?
Me:
30
Shechokedonhersal
iv
aandIcoul dn’
thel
pbut
l
aughather.Ir
eal
l
ywant edtopull
herlegand
seemstohaveworkedperfect
ly
Me:I’
m ki
ddi
ngmom,he’
s18doinghi
sfi
rst
yeahi
nLandSur
vey
ingandhe’
saBess
Shel
aughedatmyl
astst
atement
Her:
youal
mostgav
emeahear
tat
tackt
her
e
Lal
a
Me:I
’
m sorry
.justwant
edtoseeyourr
eact
ion
andi
tsexact
lyasIhadexpect
ed
Her
:I’
l
lgety
ou
Wedr ov
einsidet hi
sbeauti
fulbi
ghouse.The
l
ight
swer esti
llonforsomer eason,
may bethey
wereeagertomeetme?Wet ookoutmyt hi
ngs
andthensheunl ockedthedoorandwewer e
metbymyr epli
cawholookedmor elikedad
though.Hewaswear ingboxersandhewas
withagirl
andt hegir
lwassitt
ingont opofthe
kit
chencounter.If
oundmy sel
fsmi l
ingasI
couldfeelmommydear estfuming.Thisought
tobeinter
esting
Her
:YondaGr
aham May
sonwhati
sgoi
ngon?
Thegir
ljumpedoffthecounterandshetur
ned.
Shewasabeaut i
fulbl
onde.Shewaswear i
ng
bro’
st-
shir
twhichlookedl
ikear eal
l
yshort
dresst
oher
Hi
m:mom Icanex
plai
n
Her:I
’m wait
ing.Doy
ourpar
ent
sevenknow
thatyouareinmyhouseint
hemiddl
eofthe
night
?
Sheshookherheadnol
ooki
ngdown
Mom: soshecan’
tspeakyetshehast
he
audacityt
ositbut
tnakedont opofmyki
tchen
counter?Yondadr
ivethi
schil
dhomenow
Hi
m:butm…
Mom:
didIst
utt
er?
Sheshookhi
sheadandhewal
kedt
owar
dst
he
exi
t
Mom:
wewi
l
lspeakoft
hist
omor
row.
 
Sheputthekeysont opofthekit
chencounter
andsheturnedtome.Yondawal kedoutwit
h
hi
sgirl
fr
iend.Icoul
dn’thol
dbackthelaugh,
I’m
sor
rybutCandicedidn’tst
ri
kemeast hestr
ict
mothertypeofwomanandt oseeherinact
ion
wasreall
yfunny
Me:
sor
ryy
ouwal
kedi
ntot
hat
Her:
Ishouldbeapol
ogi
singt
oyou.Iwasnev
er
pr
eparedforsuch
Me:andyoudi
dn’
tst
ri
kemeast
hisst
ri
ctmom.
i
t’
sfunny
Her:
don’tst
artwi
thme.comel
etmeshowy
ou
wherey
ou’ll
besleepi
ng
Inoddedandf
oll
owedhercarryi
ngmybag.On
ourwayuphersonwaswalkingdownwit
hhis
gir
lf
ri
endwhocouldn’
tev
enlookusint
heeye
Mom: Iexpectmycarkey
sri
ghtwher
ethey
shoul
dbe
Hi
m:y
esma’
am
Hereal
l
yseemedannoy edbutwhatcanone
say,
hewasdisrespectingherunderherroof.I
n
themorni
ngIwor kupar ound10andbr ushed
myteet
handshower edbef oreheadi
ngout .on
mywayoutIbumpedi ntotwinnywalki
ngoutof
hisr
oom al
ldressedup.Myt wi
nwashotand
hehadstyl
etoo,hishairwaswel l
cut.
Me:
mor
ning
Hi
m:sup’
Me:
I’
m Yol
anda
Hi
m:Iknow
Me:
att
it
udemuch?
Hi
m:shutupmuch?
Me:whatthehel
li
syourprobl
em?I’
m notthe
onewhoaskedyoutobri
ngblondi
eoverfora
ni
ghtcap
Him:youdon’
tknowmesowat
chhowy
ou
speaktome
Hisphoner angandhewal kedawayandlef
tme
stunned…whyt heat t
it
ude?WhatdidIdo?I
walkeddownst ai
rsandmom andacut i
ewere
sit
ti
ngt herechatt
ingli
kegoodol df
ri
ends.I
thi
nkthat ’
smyl i
tt
lebrother.
Me:
mor
nings
Them:
mor
ning
Her
:Selwynmeetyoursi
sterYol
anda,
Lal
a
meetyourbr
otherSel
wyn
Hi
m:ni
cet
omeety
ou.Fi
nal
l
y,asi
ster
Hesaidthatgi
vi
ngmeav er
yti
ghtwar
m hug,
it
f
eltgoodtobeinhi
sti
nyarms.Hewasso
welcomi
ngandsuchasweethear
t
Me:
nicet
omeety
out
oo
Webr
oket
hehug
Me:
youl
ookl
i
keCa…Lal
a
Hi
m:soI’
vehear
dbutIt
hinkIl
ookl
i
kemydead.
Howol
dareyou?
Me:
sameageasYonda…Wet
wins
Hi
m:whoathat
’snotf
un.Shar
ingabi
rt
hdayand
al
l
?Nothankyou
Icoul
dn’
thel
pbutlaughandsodi
dCandice.
Howwast hi
sli
ttl
eoneYonda’
sbr
otheragai
n?
Hewassuchaf unspir
it
Me:
Ithi
nkIl
i
key
oual
ready
Hi
m:t
rustmet
her
e’snor
easont
ounl
i
keme
Il
aughedathi
m
Mom:
that
’snott
hephr
ase
Hi
m:Iknowmom.chi
l
lwoul
dyou
Mom:
Iwi
l
lhi
tyouki
ddo
Hi
m:al
ri
ghtmom
Hi
scolognefi
ll
edther
oom bef
oreIev
ennot
ice
hi
m st
andingbehi
ndme
Hi
m:f
ami
l
y
Sel
:mor
ning.Wher
etosoear
ly?
Hi
m:noneofy
ourbusi
ness.Mor
ningmom
Shejustl
ookedathi
m andt
henr
etur
nedt
o
dri
nkinghert
ea
Sel
:whatdi
dyoudot
hist
ime?
Hi
m: shutup.Mom canImeetupwi
thmy
f
ri
ends?
Mom: soheknowshowt
oaskf
orper
missi
on
af
terall
?
Hi
m:mom I
’
m sor
ryaboutl
astni
ght
Her:wewill
tal
kaboutwhathappenedwhen
yourfat
herget
sback.Younotgoingany
where
Hi
m:mom t
hat
’snotf
air
Her:what
’snotfai
rist
owal ki
nonmyhal f
nakedsonwithhishal
fnakedgir
lfr
iendbusy
doingl
ordknowsinmykitchen.Thatisnotfai
r
Yonda
Hi
m:butmom Iapol
ogi
sed
Her:andIhear
dy ou.Lal
ahaveyoushower
ed
al
ready?Iwanttoshowy ouar
ound
Me:I’
ll
hav
ebr
eakf
astf
ir
standt
henI
’
llbeal
l
your
s
Her
:Sel
fini
shupbabyFr
ed’
smom i
sonher
way
Hi
m:al
mostdonemom
Shenoddedandwalkedout.Yondadeci
dedto
takeaseatwi
thhi
sflatassonthehighchai
rs.
Voi
ce:
fami
l
yI’
m home
IlookedupandGoodheav enst
heheav enl
y
fathercancreate!Okmay beIspoketosoon,
l
ittl
eonedoesn’ tlookl
ikemommybuthel ooks
l
ikedaddy .Niggalookedli
kehewor kedout
ever
ynowandthen.Sel
wynwasalr
eady
huggi
nghi
sfat
herli
kether
e’snot
omorr
ow
Him: Imi
ssedy
out
oochamp.Howar
eyou
Yolanda?
Me:
I’
m goodMrMasonandhowar
eyou?
Him:I
’m Cr
aig.Ni
cet
omeety
ou,
youl
ookj
ust
l
ikey
ourmot her
Ismil
edinacknowl
edgement
 ofhi
sst
atement
.
OfcauseIl
ookedli
keher.
 
Hi
m:Yonda
Yoy
o:dad
Hi
m:howar
eyoudoi
ngchamp?
Yoyo:gooddadandy
our
sel
f?Howwasy
our
tr
ip?
Him:I
twasgood,
I’
m good.Wher
e’smy
beaut
if
ulwi
fe?
Hewascar
ryi
ngabunchofli
li
eswhi
chI’
m
assumi
ngwer
eforhi
swifeandafewpaper
bags.Hehandedonet omeandonet oeachof
hissonsandt henleftusintheki t
chentogo
fi
ndhiswife.Hehadboughtmeaneckl aceand
earri
ngsetfrom Ti
ffanyandCo.I twasbeaut
if
ul
andIwasi nlovewithit.Iwalkedupstai
rsto
videocal
lmyman.Hewasshi rt
lessandhis
tatt
oowasj ustpopping
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:Iwasbeginni
ngt
othi
nkt
henewf
ami
l
y
t
ookmyplace
Me:theywoul
dnev
er.St
epdaddyboughtme
t
his
Ishowedhi
mthesetandhesmi
l
ed
Him:st
epdaddyistr
ynamakeanimpressi
on.
SeeIwasri
ghtaboutyoumeet
ingyourmother
Me:
yesbabey
ouwer
e
Hi
m:somebodyi
sst
il
li
nPJs
Me:
andsomebodyj
ustf
ini
shedt
hei
rwor
kout
Him:y
ep…gottakeepf
itf
ormyador
abl
efr
eak
ofagi
rlf
ri
end
Me:
hey
!
Him:y
ouknowy
ouar
e.Lookaty
oudr
ool
i
ng
now
Me:
ohshutup.Sodi
dyouendupgoi
nghome?
Hi
m:I
’
m meet
ingt
hem upf
orbr
eakf
ast
Me:
greett
hem f
ormepl
ease
Hi
m:obv
iousl
y.Gr
eett
henewf
am
Me:
yohmommydear
esti
sast
ri
ctone
Hi
m:whydoy
ousayt
hat
?
Me:wewal kedinonmyt wi
nstandi
ngbet ween
someblondechi ck’
slegswit
hhersit
ti
ngont op
oft
hecount erdoinglor
dknows.Shewas
wear
inghist -
shi
rtandhewasi nboxers.She
wassomad
Hi
m:heshoul
dhav
eknownbet
ter
Me:
yep.Hehast
hisat
ti
tudet
owar
dsme
Hi
m: hepr
obablyf
eel
sli
key
ougoi
ngt
orepl
ace
hi
m orsomet
hing
Me:
wet
winsbabe.Iwoul
dnev
err
epl
acehi
m
Hi
m:y
ousoador
abl
e.Hav
eyouwashedy
et?
Me:
yes…why
?
Hi
m:Iwant
edust
ohav
ephonesex
Il
aughedandsodi
dhe
Me:
youar
emessedupy
ouknowt
hat
Him:asl
ongasIcanst
il
lent
ert
ainy
out
henI
’
m
boyf
ri
endi
ngwel
l
Me:
how’
sMi
chel
l
e?
Him:
she’
sokIguess.Miacal
l
edherpar
ent
s
andt
heywer
edevastat
ed 
Me:
sowhatr
eal
l
yhappenedt
oher
?
Him:soshewenttoseetheguyandt ol
dhim
shewaspreggi
es,ni
ggacelebr
atedandthen
l
ateronwhil
eMichel
lewassleepingshewas
wokenupbyaslaponthecheekandt hen
draggedbyherlegtothefl
oor.Hesawol dtext
s
betweenMichel
leandIandt henshii
tgotreal
.
Theyfoughtandfoughtandwelltheresti
s
hi
story
Inodded
Me:
soi
t’
syourf
aul
tbasi
cal
l
y
Hi
m:whatdi
dIdo?
 
Me:hady
ouletherbehappyi
nherrelat
ionshi
p
t
hennoneofthi
swouldhavehappened
Him:I’
m nott
heonewhodeclaredhi
sloveto
someniggaandvowedmy sel
ffai
thf
ulandina
rel
ati
onshi
p.Sheshoul
dhaveknownbetter
Me:
sowhatar
eyousay
ing?
Hi
m: t
hatwhenyoui
nar el
ati
onshipneverbe
gr
eedybecauset
heconsequencesofitarenot
ni
ce
Inodded
Hi
m:But
ter
cupIl
ovey
ouandIwoul
dnev
erdo
anyt
hingt
oj eopar
disewhatwehav
e…atl
east
noti
ntent
ionall
y
Me:
Iheary
ou
Hi
m:goodgi
rl
.ki
ssme
Il
aughedandpout
edbl
owi
nghi
m aki
ssandhe
j
ustl
aughedatme
Me:
ohwow
Him:
I’
m admir
ing.BabeIl
ovey
ouandIhav
eto
go…Yaya’
scal
li
ng
Me:
byebabe
*
**EndofPC*
**
Aft
ert hephonecal l
Ichangedintoamaxi dr
ess
wit
hapai rofsandalsandputonlightmakeup
andwal kedoutwi t
hmyt hingsaft
erafew
sel
fiesforBae.Mom andherhusbandwer e
walkingoutoft hei
rroom giggl
i
ng.Theywere
cut
et ogether.
.
.
[
05/
10,09:
22]Ron:
**THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#25
.
.
2YEARSLATER
Iwasnow19y earsol dandwasgr aduatingina
fewmont hs’ t
imedoi ngmyi nter
nshi pinsome
bankingfirm whileMi sowasdoi nghi s
Inter
nshiptrai
ning…oratl eastshoul dbe.
CandiceandI ,yesInev ercalledhermom but
Ivydidandwewer egoodl ikethat.Ivynev er
toldmehowt hingswentwi thhermot herbutall
Iknowi sthatshewentbackt olivewi thherthat
yearuntilnowandt heywer egoodt ogether.
NowofcauseIwasn’ thappyabouti tbutIhad
nochoicebecauseEst erishermot herandwi l
l
alwaysbe.Iav oidedEst eratallcost sby
meet ingI vyi ntownr athert hanv i
sitingher
there.TobyandIwer ef ri
ends…mor el i
kehe
wasmyment orandMi soandIwer est il
l
bestiesandl oversthoughwef oughtev erynow
andt henl ikeanynor mal couplebutnof i
ght
wast oobi gf orus.Iwor kedunderTobyandhe
wassi ngle.Cr aigwasagr eatf ather, myt win
andIwer el ikef i
reandi cewewer eal way sat
eachot her’st hroat
sandmyl it
tlebr other
Selwy nwhowas12, wasasweet hear tandwe
gotal ongl ikeahouseonf ire.Ivywasdoi ngher
mat ri
candshewas15y earsol dandshe
want edt ost udyatYal eorSt anfordandCr aig
saidifshehadt heresultst henshecoul dst udy
anywher eshewant edto.Iwasmeet ingupwi t
h
Misof orlunch.Isatdownopposi t
ehi m and
poort hingl ookedl i
kehehadn’ tsl epti nday s.
Me:
youl
ookl
i
keshi
i
t
Hi
m:Iknow.Howar
eyou?How’
swor
k?
Me:
I’
m good.Wor
k’sgood.Howar
eyou?
How’
sschool
?
Hi
m:I
’
m qui
tt
ing
Me:
I’
m sor
rywhat
?
Hi
m:I
’
m dr
oppi
ngout
.Landsur
vey
ingi
snotf
or
me
Me:sincewhen?Howdoy
ourpar
ent
sev
enf
eel
aboutyouqui
tti
ng?
Hi
m: DadandIhadanargumentj
ustt
his
morni
ngabouti
t.Ihav
en’tt
oldmom y
et
Il
ookedathim wai
ti
ngforhi
mt osayhe’
s
j
okingorsomethi
ngbutnope,notMi
sokuhl
e
Me:andifyouquitwhatareyougoi
ngt
ost
udy
?
Youalr
eadyinyourlasty
eardoingy
our
I
nter
nship
Him:Iknow.I
’
mt hi
nki
ngofst
udy
ingIT,
Aya’
s
husbandhasbeent
eachi
ngmeathingort
wo
Me:
ITt
hough?
Hi
m:LSi
sbor
ingBut
ter
cup.Ial
sowantt
odo
somethingIwi
llenj
oydoi
ngl
i
key
ouandt
he
restofmysibl
i
ngs
Me:
andwhatdoesMamaBesssay
?
Him:dadwil
lpr
obablyt
ell
herwhenheget
s
backfr
om hi
smeeting
Ijustnodded.Thisguyissupposedtograduate
nexty ear;Idon’
tgetwhythesuddenchangeof
heart.Ithoughthelovedwhathewasdoi ngand
I’
m cer t
ainhismom won’tlethi
m qui
tjustl
ike
that.OhGod!  
Me: Bubbl
eswhydon’
tyoufi
nishy
our
Int
ernshi
pandthenst
udyITwhenyou’
ve
securedajob?
Hi
m:But
ter
cupI
… 
Hisphonerangandheansweredi
t.Judgingby
thesuddenchangeoft
oneandlookonhi sface
youcouldtel
li
twasn’
tgoodnewsatall.He
stoodup
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:myf
atherwasshot
.Ihav
etogo
Me:
Mis…
Hewasal readyoutoft hedoor .Isettledthebi ll
andt henr anaf t
erhim buthewasal readygone.
Hewasi nabadst ate,Iwaspr ayi
ngsohar d
thathedoesn’ tgetintoanacci dent,Icannot
affor
dt olosehi m.Idon’ twantt olosehi m.I
l
ov ehimt hatmuch.Ont henewsi nt hecaf é
theywer etalkingaboutashoot i
ngt hatbr oke
outandbusi nessMogul DerrickBesswhowas
foll
owi nginhi sf at
herandgr andfather ’
sst eps
wasshotandi tseemsser ious, t
hewoman
readingt henewssai dshewoul dupdat eus
l
ateron.Il ookedatt het imeandmyl unchwas
prett
ymuchov erbutlat eronIwasgoi ngtocal l
Misoandgov isitMrBess.Idr ovebackt owor k,
yesIhadacarofmyown…cour tesyofmy
newlyf oundedmot her.Shewasact uallynota
housewi feandshewor kedf orthemoneyshe
hadandshewasagr eatper son, agoodmot her
event houghwehadourdi fferencesev erynow
andt
hen.Igott
otheoff
iceandcal
l
edMisobut
hewasn’
tansweri
nganyofmycall
s. 
Toby
:heyRedpl
easef
il
ethese
Me:
yeahsur
e
Idi
dastoldandthencamebacktomydesk.I
wasn’
tasproduct
iveasInor
mall
ywasandI
thi
nkTobynoti
ced
Hi
m:Redy
ouok?
Me:
Miso’
sdadwasshot
Hi
m:What
?When?
Me:
today
.If
oundoutdur
ingmyl
unch
Hi
m:i
syourboy
fri
endok?
Me:
he’
snotanswer
ingmycal
l
s
Hi
m:y
oushoul
dgocheckuponhi
m
Me:
I’
ll
goaf
terwor
k
Hi
m:noi
tsf
inet
her
e’snotmucht
odot
oday
Me:
nahheneedst
obewi
thhi
sfami
l
yfornow.
I
’
llgoi
nlat
er
Hi
m: okfi
net
hen.Pl
easegety
ourheadbackt
o
wor
kt hen
Inoddedandwedi daf ewbudgetpl ansfor
somecompanyandt hencameknockof fti
me
andIdr ovehome.Il i
v edwhereIl i
vedinmyf i
rst
year,itwasagr eatplaceafteral
l.Iwentto
attendoneofmycl assesbecauseIwasbusy
doingmymast erspar tti
memeani ngmy
classeswer el
aterint hedayandIhad2mor e
hour sunti
lmynextcl ass.Icall
edsunshineand
sheanswer edaf t
erawhi l
e.There’
saboyshe
wasdat ingnow.
*
**PC*
**
Me:
heysunshi
ne
Her
:heyRed
Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Her:
I’
m doi
nggoodt
hanksRedandhowar
e
you?
Me:
okhowar
eyou?I
’
m goodt
oot
hanks
Shechuckl
edandsodi
dI
Her
:I’
m si
tt
ingwi
thTr
ey
Me:
bet
ternotbedoi
ngt
hingsy
oushoul
dn’
tbe
Her
:li
kewhatRed
Shel
aughed.
 
Me:
ohGod!Thi
schi
l
d.Imeannosexki
d
Her
:fi
ne
Me:I
’m ser
ious.Wedon’
tneedy
ouget
ti
ng
pr
egnantnow
Shel
aughed
Her
:what
everRed….What
’sup?
Me:
Imi
ssy
ou
Her
:wher
e’sMi
so?
Me:
hisf
atherwasshotsonowhe’
svi
sit
inghi
m
Her
:that
’ssad.Howbadi
she?
Me:Ihaven’
tcheckeduponhi
myet
.Fi
gur
edhe
needsti
mewi t
hfamily
 
Her:
that’
sthought
ful
ofy ou.Al
soexpl
ainswhy
youcal
ledmecausey ourmanainther
e
Me:
whydoy
ougot
taanal
yseev
ery
thi
ng?
Her
:becauseIwasbor
ntobeananal
yst
Me:whatever
.Li
stent
her
e’ssomeoneatt
he
door
,Ihavetogo
Her
:real
l
ynow?
Me:
yesact
ual
l
yther
eisaknock
Isaidwalkingtothedoor .Iopenedthedoor
andMi sowasst andingont heothersideofit.
Hewasy ummy …asusual .Helookedfreshli
ke
someonewhohadj usttakenashowerandhe
waswear ingav estthatshowedof fhi
st at
toos
withloosejoggerswi t
hawhi tesneaker.
Hi
m:hey
Me:
sunshi
neIhav
etogo
Her
:tel
lMi
soIsai
dHi
Me:
shesay
shi
Hewav
edandIdr
oppedt
hecal
l
*
**EndOfPC*
**
Ibi
tmyl
owerl
i
p.GodDamnhewassexy
Hi
m:whatt
imei
syourcl
ass?
Me:
inhal
fanhour
Henoddedandwal
kedi
nwhil
eIcl
osedt
he
doorandf
oll
owedhi
minsi
de
Me:
howi
syourf
ather
?
Hi
m: hasn’
twokenupy
et.Hehasabul
l
etst
uck
i
nhisspinalcor
d
Me:
I’
m sor
ry 
Hi
m:y
eah 
Me:
whyar
en’
tyouatt
hehospi
tal
?
Hi
m:Ij
ustneededtogetawayf
orami
nut
eor
t
wo.I
t’
sdepressi
nginther
e
Me:
ofcause.Soy
ouf
igur
edy
ou’
dcomesee
mehuh?
Hegav
ethatsi
desmi
lemaki
ngmyi
nsi
des
t
rembl
eandmykneesweak
Hi
m:Il
i
kewher
eyourmi
ndsat
Hesai
dpul
l
ingmywai
stcl
osert
ohi
m 
Me:
I’
m dr
ained
Hi
m:y
ousur
e
Hesai
dkissi
ngmyneck.Heknowshowweak
t
hatmakesme
Me:
mmmh
Hi
m:her
eort
hel
ounge
Me:
her
e!
Hepi
ckedmeupandputmeonthecount
er
maki
ngmyski
rtgoupandst
oodbet
weenmy
l
egs
Hi
m:heybeaut
if
ul 
Me:
heyhandsome
Hi
m:st
il
lasbeaut
if
ul
Me:
andy
oust
il
lashands…
Imoanedashewaspl
ayi
ngwi
thnooki
e. 
Hi
m:f
uck!
Hesaidki
ssi
ngmyneckandundoi
ngmy
but
tons
Me:
youknowIhav
etogett
ocl
assr
ight
?
Hi
m:Iknow
Hepul l
eddownmyunder wearstil
lkissi
ngmy
neckwhi l
eIundi dhispant sandhel pedhi m pul
l
them down.Ist i
llhadthei udinsert
ed.Ipul l
ed
hisfacetomi neandki ssedhi m becauseat
l
eastwi t
hhi sli
psI ’
m distr
actedf r
om thinking
aboutthepai nbetweenmyl egs.Ev ersi
nceI
start
edexer ci
singitsli
keMi so’sdickgets
biggereverytime.Thepai nbet weenmyl egsis
neveroneIgetusedt oev enifwehav esext wo
daysinar owi t
’sstil
lpainful
.Hepul ledoutand
wal
kedoutt
omybat hr
oom andcameback
wi
thatowelandwi
pedmet her
e
Me:
I’
ll
nev
ergetusedt
oyou
Hechuckl
ed
Hi
m:Bessmenar
epackedhoney
Il
aughed
Me:
let
’snotgetabi
gheadnow
Hi
m:I
’
mjustsay
ingbabe.I
UDst
il
li
npl
ace?
Me:
yeahst
il
lgood
Hi
m:wedon’
twanty
ouf
all
i
ngpr
egnantnow
Me:
Iwoul
dn’
taf
for
dababy
Hechuckl
edandkissedmyforeheadand
pi
ckedmeuptomyr oom wi
thmyl egswr
apped
ar
oundhiswai
st.
 
Me:
don’
tdr
opme
Hi
m:whenhav
eIev
er?
Me:
your
eal
l
ywannagot
her
e?
Webot hlaughed.Atleasthewasl
aughingso
thatwasgoodr ight
?Wehadaqui ckshower
andthenhedr ovemet oclasswhi
leheheaded
tothehospital
.Hesaidhewouldkeepme
posted.
.
.
[
05/
10,09:
22]Ron:
**THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#26
.
.
Mybr otherwasintownandheact uall
ycall
ed
met oaskmeoutf orlunch.Iwonderwhat
that’
saboutbecauseniggadoesn’ tcal
llet
alonetextmeorwhat ever.Hejustplaysfar
from meev ersi
ncethatinci
dentandIdon’ tget
i
tatall.Isatdownandhesatdownopposi te
me
Hi
m:howar
eyouandhow’
sthei
nter
nshi
p?
Me:
I’
m goodandsoi
sthei
nter
nshi
p.You?
Hi
m:al
li
sgood.Li
stenIneedhel
p
Me:
wit
h?
Him:mom’sbi
rt
hdayiscomingupi
naf
ewday
s
andIwashopi
ngthatyoucoul
dhel
pmepl
ani
t
Me:
oh
Hi
m:y
oui
n?
Me:
she’
smymot
her
.OfcauseI
’
min
Him:gr
eat
.SoI’v
ebeent
alki
ngtoafew
cat
erer
sandtheymadeafewsuggest
ions
Hesai
dhandi
ngmeaf
il
e
Me:shouldn’
twebedi
scussi
ngt
hiswi
thCr
aig
andSel?
Him:Cr
aigsai
dhewill
payf
orev
ery
thi
ngand
Seli
sbusywit
hschool
Me:
What
’st
hisr
eal
l
yaboutYonda?Younev
er
l
ikedmefrom thegetgoandthensuddenl
yyou
wantustoorganiseLal
a’
sbir
thdaypar
ty
t
ogether
? 
Hi
m:I
’
mtr
yingt
omakeupf
orl
ostt
imesok.
 
Me:WhynowYonda?Youwantednot
hingt
odo
wi
thmeandthensuddenl
yyoupl
ayi
ngnice
Him: Idon’
tknowwhaty
ouwantmet
osay
Yolanda
Me:anexpl
anat
ionmay
be…t
hatwoul
dbea
goodst
art
Him:f
ineIthoughtyoubeingaroundwould
makemom l ovemel essandthatsi
nceyou
herey
ou’dstealal
ltheatt
enti
on
Ichuckl
ed 
Me:
that
’schi
l
dish
Him:y
eahIknow.nowthatthat’
soutoftheway
canwecont
inuewit
htherealreasonI
’m her
e
Me:
sur
ewhynot
Wef inisheddiscussi
ngi deasandhesai dhe
woul drunthem pastCr aigandSel andthenget
backt ome.Whenwewer edoneIwentbackt o
wor kandhewentbackabouthi sbusiness.
WhenIgott owor kEsterwassi tt
inginthe
receptionarea,mymoodi mmedi atel
ywent
from a100t oa- 1.Iwalkedt owardsthe
elevatorsandsheshout edf ormynameand
grabbedmyar m.Ilookedatherhandonmy
wr i
standbackather
Her
:Yol
andapl
ease
Me:
letgoofme
Her
:Lal
apl
ease
Me:
remov
eyourhandbef
oreIcal
lsecur
it
y
Shel
etgoofme
Me:nowpl
easel
eav
e.Iwantnot
hingt
odowi
th
you
Her
:Yol
andaI
’
m si
ck
Me:
goodf
ory
ou
Iwalkedi nsidetheel evatorandclosedt he
doorsinherf ace.Iwassoangr yallofasudden.
Thiswomanmademyl if
eal iv
inghellandt hen
shethinksshecanpl aythe“ I
’m si
ck”car don
meandexpectt hingsbet weenust obef i
ne?
Noway s.Itdoesn’twor klikethatnotinthisday
andage.Igotupst ai
rsandwentt othe
rest
room t of i
xmyf aceandal socallMiso.
Haven’thear df r
om hi m sinceyest
erday.
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:But
ter
cup
Me:
Bubbl
es
Hi
m:y
ouok?
Me:
Ishoul
dbeaski
ngy
ou.How’
syourdad?
Hi
m: hewokeupandy
oucani
magi
nehow
t
hingsar
e
Me:
Ninoknows?
Hi
m:yepandshe’
snothappy
.Al
lhel
lbr
oke
l
oose
Me:
I’
m sor
ry
Hi
m:yeahIdon’
tknowwhatIwasexpect
ing
f
rom t
hem
Me:
babe
Hi
m:y
eah
Me: wouldbesobadf ory outodot heI Tthing
asasi dehustlewhil
ey oubusywi thyourLS?
Hearmeout .Youknowy ourparents, Iknow
yourparentsandaftersomanyy earsi nschool
withthem payingcash.Theywon’ tletyoudo
thi
sITy ouwantsobadl y
Hi
m:f
ineBut
ter
cup
Me:
thanky
ou
Hi
m:sowhat
’sgoi
ngonwi
thy
ou?
Me:
not
hing
Hi
m:t
rysomet
hingel
se.Whathappened?
Me:
Est
erwasher
eori
sst
il
lher
e.Idon’
tknow
Hi
m:andy
oudon’
twantt
oatl
eastknowwhat
shewant
stosay
Ishookmyheadasifhecoul
dseeme.he
chuckl
edt
hatlazyl
aughofhi
s
Hi
m:di
dyouj
ustshakey
ourhead?
Me:
yes
Hi
m:t
hisgi
rl
.Sowhatdi
dshewant
?
Me:Idon’
tknow.shej
ustment
ionedshewas
si
ckthat
’sal
l
Hi
m:babe
Me:Iknowwhatyougoi
ngtosayandno.Iam
notgoi
ngtol
i
stentowhatev
ershehastosay
Hi
m:f
ine.I
’
lll
ety
oubef
ornow
Me:
justl
etmebe.By
ebabeIhav
etogetback
t
owork
Hi
m:okBut
ter
cup.Il
ovey
ou
Me:
lov
eyout
oo
*
**EndofPC*
**
TheMasonf amilywassomewhatagai nstmy
rel
ati
onshipwithMi sobecausehe’ sblack.Wel l
mom anddad, Yondaisjust…Idon’tknow, he
doesn’tcaremay beandlitt
lebrowasmor e
thanhappyt omeett hemani nmyl ifebutthey
havecomet oacceptthatIlovehim andIwon’ t
endthingsbecauseoft hem asIam r esponsible
formyownhappi ness.Igotat extf
rom Mi so
sayi
nghewoul dcomeov ertomypl acelateron.
Iwentbackt owor kanditwasok.Knockof f
ti
mecameandwhenIgott omydoorwi t
hmy
bott
leofsweetwhi tewinel i
tt
lesist
erwas
waiti
ngf orme
Her
:hey
Me:
hi
Iunl
ockedandwal
kedi
nandhel
dthedoor
openforhert
owal
kin.
Me:
towhatdoIowet
hisv
isi
t?
Her
:youknowwhyI
’
m her
e
Me:
Iwoul
dn’
tbeaski
ngi
fIknewI
vy
Her:
mom camet
oseey
ouandy
oubr
ushedher
of
f
Ichuckl
ed
Me:
Ihav
epl
ans…i
fyoudon’
tmi
nd
Her
:Landashe’
ssi
ck
Me:
goodf
orher
Her
:Landacomeon.Shehaswombcancer
Me:fi
nebyme.I
fyoudon’
tmi
ndIneedt
o
showerMi
sowil
lbeher
e 
Her:soyouwoul
dchoosetowineanddi
newit
h
yourboyf
ri
endwhil
eyourmot
herissi
ckand
needstr
eatment
Me:
you’
l
lseey
our
sel
fout
Isaidwalkingt
omyr oom becausehadIst ay
ed
andlist
enedorr espondedtoherIwoul dhave
saidshii
tthatwasgoi ngt
oendourr elati
onship.
Itookoffmycl othesandputonabl ackandr ed
si
lkgownandt i
edmyhai rupandworemy
sl
eepersandwal kedt
ot hekit
chentopour
myselfaglassofwine,shewasgoneal r
eady.I
pouredmygl assandasIwasaboutt owalk
backther
ewasaknock.Iwentt oopenand
Misowascar ryi
ngpaperbagswithfood,If
ound
myselfsmili
ngandsodi dhe.
Hi
m: whenyouopenthedoorlooki
ngli
kethi
s
I
’mtemptedtohavey
ouwhat everwayIwantto
Igi
ggl edathowhi sey eswerefi
ll
edwith
nothingbutlust.Itookonepaperbagand
ki
ssedhi m andt henwentt oputi
tonthetable.I
wasaboutt ot urnwhenIf el
thim st
andi
ngright
behindmebr eat hi
ngdownonmyneckandhi s
handsunt yi
ngmyr obe
Hi
m:hel
l
osexy
Hesai
drubbi
ngmyboobsmaki
ngmewet
i
nst
antl
y
Me:
hi….
Myvoicecameoutasawhi sper .Hehadme
f
rom behindonthekit
chencount erandthenwe
wenttotakeabathtogether.Iwasbet weenhis
l
egsandhi shandwaspl ayi
ngwi t
hmycl i
tas
wewer echatt
ingabouteachot her’sday
.
Me: Yayashoul
dthankmef
orknocki
ngsome
senseintoyou
Hechuckl
edandstuckaf
ingermaki
ngme
scr
eam andhel
aughed
Me:
OUCH!
Hi
m: choosey
ourwor
dswi
sel
ywhenmyhand
i
sthere
Me:
fucky
ou!Thatwaspai
nful
Hi
m:I
’
m sor
ry
Hesai
dki
ssi
ngmyneck
Hi
m:I
’
mreal
l
ysor
ry
Het
racedwetki
ssest
omyshoul
der
Me:
don’
tdot
hatagai
n
Hi
m:I
’
llwar
nyounextt
imeok
Hebitmeonmyshoul
derbuti
twasagood
sensat
ion
Hi
m:soy
ounotr
eadyt
otal
ktoEst
er?
Ishookmyhead
Me:maybeifthi
ngshadgonedi f
fer
ent
lyI
’d
wanttohearheroutbutt
heydidn’
tandnow
she’
susinghersi
cknesstogettome
Him:Iheary
oubutwoul
ditbesobadi
fyou
hear
dherout
Me:Ij
ustdon’
twanttohearshi
i
tfr
om herMi
so.
Canwejustdr
opitnow?
Hi
m:sur
e
Hi
shandwasmassagi
ngmyboobsdoi
ngt
he
t
hings
Hi
m:l
et’
sgetoutofher
e
Me:
sur
e
Wegotoutandwehel
peddr
yeachot
herwent
tol
oti
oneachotherandthenIworehist
-shi
rt
andheworemysweat pantsandt
henwewent
tomakesomethingtoeatfort
hebothofus.We
j
ustsatandwatchedmov i
es.Myphonerang
andi
twasmommydear est
*
**PC*
**
Me:
MrsMason
Her
:soIshoul
dgi
veupont
hemom t
hing?
Me:
yep.Sowhat
’sup?
Her:
I’
mjustchecki
nguponmydaught
ert
hat
’s
al
l
Me:
real
l
ynow?
Her
:st
opbei
ngsuspi
cious
Me: t
hingiswespokeear
li
eronandthen
suddenlyyoucal
l
ingmenow…y ousureI
vy
didn’
tcall
you?
Her
:okshedi
d
Me:
thoughtasmuch
Her
:I’
m notsay
ingf
orgi
veher
,justhearherout
Me:
andt
henwhat
? 
Her
:Idon’
tknow.t
akei
tfr
om t
her
e
Me:haveyouheardherout
?lastt
imeIchecked
youwantednot
hingtodowithher
.youdidn’
t
t
alktoI
vyforamonth 
Her
:I…
Me:
exact
lyLal
a.Let
’sl
ett
hisgook
Her
:fi
ne.Atl
eastdoi
tforI
vy
Me:
eyMal
et’
sjustdr
opt
hisok
Her
:okby
ebaby
.Il
ovey
ou
Me:
byeLal
a
*
**EndofPC*
**
Idon’
tknowwhenIf el
lasl
eepbutwhenIwokeI
wasinbedwi t
hMi so’sar
mscagingmetight
ly.
Itwascutehowpossessi v
ehecangetevenin
hissl
eep.Ij
ustplantedakissonhi
sli
psand
wentbacktosleep. 
Thingswer egood, theywer enor mal f
ort he
nextcoupl eofday sandt herestoft heweeks
thatf oll
owed.I t’
sbeen4mont hsnowsi ncemy
encount erwi t
hEst erandsheev enhasmy
numbernowandshewon’ tst
opcal li
ngmeand
Iknowherdaught eristheonet hatgav ehermy
number .Ihadj ustgr aduatedandt heyt hrewa
partyf ormeandi twasAWESOME.Mom’ s
partywentwel ltooandYonda’ sgr aduat ionwas
i
nt woday s’ti
me.Iwasi nNewYor kbecause
that’swher ehispar tywasgoi ngt obehel d
any way .Mi soandIwer egood, hisfatherwas
attendingphy sioandl uckyhimt herewasa
chancet hathecoul dwal ksomedaywhi chwas
hellaawesomenews.Lat elyI
’vebeenf eel i
nga
l
itt
leundert heweat her,bythatImeanI ’vebeen
moody ,snappi ngatany oneorany body ,didn’t
eatmuchandj ustlostal otofwei ght .Ithinkits
stressorsomet hing.atwor kIwasnol ongeran
i
nter nwhi chwasgr eat,
Iwasonpr obat i
on.I fI
dowel lthenToby ’
sj obwasgoi ngt obemi ne
becausehewasnol ongergoingtowor kf
or
thatcompany .hewastoningthingsdownf or
himselfsothathedoesn’thaveal otofworkto
dot hatheendsupnothav ingalif
e.Ihadjust
fi
nishedpukingthefrui
tsaladIhadf or
breakfastwhenYondawal kedintotheguest
bathroom
Hi
m:y
ouok?
Me:It
hinkImusthav
eeat
enexpi
redf
rui
tor
somet
hing
Him:Iboughtt
hatfr
uitanhouragowhenIgot
outofgym.Youpregnantsi
s
[
05/10,09:
22]Ron:
ifeI
nSandy
'sAngl
e-by
SandyGxaba

*
**THELI
FEINEVERI
MAGI
NED*
**
#27
.
.
Iri
nsedmymout handt henspi
tthewat erout
andwi pedmymout hbefor
eattendi
ngt ohim.
Twinhadt obehighonsomet hing.Iam not
pregnant.Ican’
tpossi
blybeany way.I
’
m only
19f orheaven’
ssakeandImi ghtbehiredto
workper manentl
yshouldIdomyj obwel l
.
Pregnancyisthelastthi
ngonmymi ndnow.
Me:
I’
m notpr
egnant
Isai
dlaughi
ng
Me:
Ihav
eal
oop
Hi
m:nocont
racept
ivei
s100%si
s
Me:
evensobutt
heI
UDi
ssaf
e
Hi
m:atl
eastt
akeat
estandsee
Me:
justt
ogety
ouof
fmycaseI
’
llt
akeat
est
Hi
m:comewi
thme
Il
ookedathi
m andt
henl
ookedhi
shand
Hi
m:come
Me:
wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
Hi
m:t
oyourr
oom.Ial
readyboughty
ouat
est
Il
ookedathi
m st
unned.Whatdi
dhemean?
Me:
huh?
Him:Whenmom waspr egnantwithSelshel
ost
weightandhadthesesi
cknessesbefor
eshe
gai
nedwei ght
Me:
butI
’
m notpr
egnant
Hi
m:j
ustt
aket
het
est
Wewal kedintomyr oom anditwasi
napaper
bagont opofmybed.Iwentt omybathr
oom
andtookt hetestandthenhesetanal
armfor5
minutes.Thatwaspr obabl
ythemostl
ongest5
minutesofmyl if
e.
Hi
m:sowhathappensi
fyoupr
egnant
?
Me:
Idon’
tknow
Hi
m:I
’
llsuppor
tyouwhat
everdeci
siony
out
ake
Theal
armr
angandwel
ookedateachot
her
.
Tear
swerealreadyt
hr eateni
ng; Iwasshi
i
t
scar
ed.Mom won’ttaket hi
slyingdown.she
won’
tacceptthi
ngsjustlikethat.Yondat
ook
thet
estandlookedatit.Icouldn’tr
eadhi
s
expr
essi
on
Hi
m:I
’
m sor
rysi
s
Il
ookedathim andheshrugged.Ij
ustknewI
waspreggi
es.Tearsr
oll
eddowni nvol
untar
y.He
pul
ledmetohisarmsandl etmecry
Me:
howf
ar?
Hi
m:i
tswr
it
ten15weeks
Icri
edev enmor e.How?Iwasont hel oop
though.Hel etmecr y
.WhenIwokeupIwasi n
bedandt hewasasmal l blanketov erme.I
l
ookedf ormyphoneandi twaspast2al r
eady,
I
hadbeensl eepingforabout3hour sst rai
ght
.I
hadadozenmi ssedcalls,that’
sthet hingabout
Miso,whenev erIwasn’taroundhecal ledalot
thanhenor mallydi
d.Ical l
edhi m back
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:But
ter
cup
Me:
hey
Hi
m:wer
eyousl
eepi
ng?
Me:
Ijustwor
kup
Hi
m:y
ousl
eepal
otl
atel
y
Me:
yeahIgett
ir
edal
otl
atel
y
Hi
m:y
ousur
eit
’sj
ustt
hat
?
Ijustkeptqui
etastearsmadetheirwaydown
tomypi ll
ow.Icoul
dn’thol
dthem back.Fi
ndi
ng
outthatyoupregnantatsuchanageis
fr
ustrati
ng,i
tsstr
essfulev
en
Hi
m:But
ter
cupt
alkt
omepl
ease
Istil
ldi
dn’
trespond.Ikeptt
hinki
ngaboutwhat
Candicewouldsay.Asmuchasi tmayseem
l
ikeIdon’tcar
eorwhat soeverbutIdoval
ue
whatshesay sandI’m notr
eadytoseeher
disappoi
ntmentinme. 
Hi
m:But
ter
cuppl
easesaysomet
hing
Icoul
dheartheconcer
ninhisvoi
ce.Hewas
worri
ed.Ij
ustdr
oppedthecall
*
**EndofPC*
**
Itookapictur
eofthet estandsentitt
ohim as
anMMSandhecal l
edinstant
lybutIcoul
dn’
t
answerhi
scal l
.Icouldn’
tletmysel
fanswerhim.
Igotuptowashmyf aceandt henwent
downstai
rs.Mom andSel wer
esitt
ingint
he
l
oungewithYondapr essinghisphone
Me:
hey
Mom:
heysl
eepyhead
Isatnexttomom andsnuggl edmy sel
funder
herarm.Yondaey edmeandt henbacktohis
phone.Justthenhisphonerang…knowi ngmy
boyfr
iend,heprobabl
yhadYonda’ snumber
becausetheygotalonginthesefourmont hsor
hehackedmyst uf
fandtookhi snumber.Yes,
hewasst udyi
ngandl ear
ninghowt ohackf r
om
hi
ssi
ster
’sf
iancéandhewasgoodati
t.
Mom:
youok?
Me:
Ijustmi
ssbei
ngamama’
sbaby
Shechuckl
edandr
ubbedmyar
m
Her
:that
’scut
e
Me:
whenar
eyougoi
ngt
oMi
l
an?
Her
:nextmont
h
Yondawast al
kingont hephoneandI’
m certai
n
hewast al
ki
ngtoMi sobecausehewoul dlook
atmeev er
ynowandt hen,Ipl
eadedwit
hmy
eyesnottogiv
emet hephone.Iwoul
dt al
kto
theguylat
er
Her
:why
?Doy
ouwantt
ojoi
nme?
Me:
I’
dlov
etobutIhav
ewor
k
Her
:nextt
imet
hen
Me:
yeahnextt
ime
Her
:youok?
Me:
yeahI
’
mfi
neMah
Shedidn’
trespond.Yondasai
dhisgoodby
es
andthenhandedmehi sphoneandhewasbusy
chat
tingwit
hMi so.
Mom:
andt
hen?
Me:
what
?
Her:si
ncewhendoy
out
wol
oaneachot
her
phones?
Me:
minei
sinmyr
oom Lal
a
Shedi dn’tsayanythingfurt
her .Misowas
askingaboutwhatwegoi ngt odof r
om her e
andIt oldhim wewoul dtal
kpr operwhenIwas
backandhet oldmehewoul dcall mel aterthen
Ishouldt exthi
m whenI ’
mr eadytot alkandI
didn’trespondinsteadIreturnedt hephone
backt oitsowner.Iwat chedt vwitht hefami ly
andt henwehadsupperandt henl aterwentt o
bed.Mom wal kedinasIwaschangi ngi ntomy
pjaysbutIwasst andinginfrontoft hemi r
ror
tr
yingt
oseeift
her
ewer eanychangesi
nmy
bodyandIcoul
dn’
tseeany
Her
:Yol
andat
alkt
ome
Me:
about
?
Isai
dwear
ingmypj
ays
Her:I
’m notst
upi
dnoram Ibl
i
ndt
owhat
happensundermyroof
Il
ookedatherconf
used
Her
:tomor
rowwegoi
ngout
.wakeupandwash
Inoddedandt
henshewal
kedout
.Igotinsi
de
thecover
sandcal
l
edMisowhoansweredsame
ti
me
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:But
ter
cup
Me:
hey
Hi
m:y
ouhadmewor
ri
edt
her
e
Me:
whatam Igoi
ngt
odowi
thababyMi
so?
Him:Idon’
tknowbutall
Iknowisthatit
’sour
babyandIwil
lbether
ewithyouev
er ystepof
thewayButt
ercup
Me:
howar
eyousocal
m wi
thev
ery
thi
ng?
Him:becauseit
’snousepanickingovernot
hing.
Youpregnantandthat
’snotgoingtochange
Me:butIdon’
twantababy
.I’
m onl
y19,
I’
m not
r
eadytobeamot her
Him:andI’
m notreadyt
obeaf atherbutwe’
l
l
makedoBut t
ercup.Thi
sbabychangesnothi
ng
abouthowIfeelaboutyouandher
Me:
whati
fit
’sahe
Hi
m:nahi
t’
saher
.Ij
ustknowi
t’
saher
Me:
what
ever
Him:she’l
ll
ookli
keherbeaut
if
ulmotherand
havethatcut
eredhai
randsmal l
nose
Ichuckl
ed.Mi
sowasbei
ngcr
azy
Hi
m:shel
aughs
Me:
I’
m scar
ed
Hi
m:we’
l
lfi
gur
ethi
ngsout
Me:
ok
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo
Hi
m:goodni
ghtBut
ter
cup
Me:
night
*
**EndofPC*
**
Thenextmorni
ng,Iwokeupataround7and
showeredandworemypjaysandwenttomake
somethingt
oeat.Mom wal
kedinasIwas
eati
ng
Her
:mor
ning
Me:
mor
ning
Ther
ewassi
lenceandonl
ybowl
sandspoons
maki
ngnoi
se.
Her
:soy
oust
il
ldon’
twantt
otal
ktome?
Me:
about
?
Her
:okf
inet
hen.
Justt
henCr ai
gandSel
walkedi
nlaughing.
Theygreet
edandwentbacktot
heirdebate
Mom:
fini
shupsowecanl
eav
e
Inoddedandwentt owashmydi shandher s
andt henwentupt omyr oom.Thi swasgoi ng
tobehel l
.Iwaspl anni ngonl eavi
ngst raight
afterthegr aduati
onpar tybutIdoubtI ’l
l l
eav e
now.Sowewentt ot hedoct orandt hedoc
confirmedt hatI’
mi ndeed3mont hsandaf ew
weekspr eggiesandIf ellpregnantbecause
seemsl i
keIf or
gott ogof ormycheckupt hree
mont hsbackandsoi tshi ft
edorsomet hingbut
mypr egnancywasokasl ongasIst ayaway
fr
om st ressorsorany thingt hatraisesmy
pressur ehighbutei thert hant hatmybabywas
healthy.Mom wasqui etal lthewayhomeandI
wast ext i
ngwi t
hMi sot elli
nghi m whatwent
down
Her
:wantany
thi
ngt
oeat
?
Me:
not
hanks
Her:y
ouhavet
oeatsomet
hingYol
anda.You
eat
ingfort
wonow
Me:
I’
mreal
l
ynothungr
yMom
Shenoddedandpassedbyatsomebur ger
shopandboughtbur germeal
sandthenwe
drovehome.Whenwegothomesheheaded
strai
ghtt
oherroom andherhusbandfoll
owed
her.Iwasshockedtof i
ndhi
m homeseeing
howhei shardl
yaround. 
Yonda:
and?
Me:
it’
sbeenconf
ir
med
Hi
m:I
’
m sor
ry
Me:
yeahmet
oo
Hi
m: she’l
lcomearound,
she’
sjust
di
sappointedt
hat
’sall
Me:
Ihat
emy
sel
ffort
his
Him:atl
easty
ougett
ingpai
dsothatshould
countf
orsomethi
ngandMiso’
smoney ed
Me:
Idon’
twantMiso’
smoneyandIdon’
twant
t
obedependentonhi
mfort
his.
Hi
m:sowhatnow?
Me:Ihav
enoi
dea.Ij
ustwantt
ocr
ymy
sel
fto
deat
h
Hi
m:pi
tyi
tdoesn’
twor
kli
ket
hat
Me:Iwi
shitdi
dcausethenIwoul
dn’
thav
eto
deal
wit
hthiswhenIwakeup
Iwal
kedouttomyroom cal
li
ngMiso.Ineeded
himtof
eelever
ythi
ngIwasfeel
ingatthi
s
moment.Idi
dn’
tmakethisbabyal
oneafteral
l
.
Heansweredaf
terawhil
e…whenIwasabout
togi
veupeven.
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:heyBut
ter
cup.Sor
ryIwasdr
ivi
ng
Me:
itsok
Hi
m:howar
eyout
oday
?
Me:
Ijustsenty
ouapi
ctur
eoft
hesonar
Hi
m:cool
I’
ll
checki
toutwhenIgethome
Me:
goi
ngt
oYay
a’s?
Hi
m:y
ep.Got
tat
ell
her
Me:
can’
tweatl
eastwai
tbef
orewet
ell
her
?
Hi
m: she’
sgoi
ngtofindoutonewayort
he
ot
herandIrat
hershefi
ndsoutthi
sway
Me:
she’
sgoi
ngt
ohat
eme
Hi
m:she’
ll
nev
erhat
eyou.I
’
mjusthopi
ngshe
won’
tdi
sownme
Me:yeah.Ayawi
ll
probabl
ysayI
’
mtr
yingt
otr
ap
youwithababy
Him:arghnev
ermindAya.I
’
m sorr
yBut
ter
cup,
I
knowyouprobabl
yhat
emeorbl amemeand
I’
m sor
ry
Me:it
’snotyourf
aul
t.Ishoul
dhav
ebeenmor
e
car
efult
hat’
sall
Hi
m:y
ouok?
Me:
Iwi
l
lbe
Mom wal
kedi
nandsatont
hebed
Me:
Bubbl
esIhav
etogo
Hi
m:I
’
m guessi
ngt
hat
’smom
Me:
yep.By
e
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ouok
Me:
ok
*
**EndofPC*
**
Shewassi
tt
ingattheedgeoft
hebedwhi
l
eI
satont
heothersi
de.
 
Her:Iam sodisappoint
edinyouYol andaIdon’
t
evenknowwhatt osay.MaybeifIwasmor e
presentinyourli
fethi
ngswouldn’thavetur
ned
outthewayt heydidnow.Idon’tknow.May be
becausey oustart
edhavingsexatanear l
yage
youthoughtthatsexwi t
houtpr
otectionwasok
wheni t
’snot
Igaveheralook.NowIknowIwaswr ongfor
havi
ngsexwi thoutprotect
ionwit
hMi sowhi ch
wasmychoi cebutf orhertousemypast
agai
nstme?t hatIcannotaccept.I
’m sorrybut
that
’sshaderi
ghtt her
e.Unnecessaryshade
even
Her
:Lal
aIdi
…
Me:
I’
ll
leav
eyourhousei
npeace.
Igotupandwentt
omycl
oset
Her
:Lal
apl
ease
Me: IunderstandthatImessedup.Hav ingsex
withoutacondom wasmychoi ceanditwasmy
mistakeandI ’m payi
ngforitwithanunwanted
andunpl annedbabybutf oryout ousewhatI
wentt hr
oughasanexcuseofmef al
li
ng
pregnant?That ’
slowCandiceev enforyou.I
’l
l
beoutofy ourhousebeforetheendoft oday
Her:
YolandaIdon’
twantyoutoleave.pl
ease
don’
tleav
eandletsj
ustt
alkaboutthis
Me: t
here’
snothi
ngtotal
kabout.I
’
m pregnant
becauseinmymi ndIbel
i
evethati
tsoktohave
sexwithoutpr
otect
ion
Ihadn’
tst
oppedpacki
ng
Her: thatismygr andchi
ldy ouar ecarryingandI
won’ tletyoul eav eherewi t
hhi m orher .Iknow
myappr oachwaswr ongbecauseIwasnev er
tr
ainedf orsuchmy sel
fseeingt hatIfell
pregnantatar oundy ourageandIdi dn’thavea
mot hert ogui demeorgi vemeat alkor
what soev er.Lal aI’
m sorryforwhatIsai dbutI
won’ tapol ogisef orevery
thingel se.I’
my our
mot herandt his, t
hiswast helastt hi
ngI
expect edf rom y ouandIwon’ tapplaudy oufor
getti
ngy oursel fknockedup.Thebabyi sher e,
nowwhat ’
st henextst ep?DoesMi soknow?
Me:yes,
heknowsandhe’
swi
l
li
ngt
otake
r
esponsi
bil
i
ty
Her:okt
hat
’sgoodbutIcannothaveyou
dependi
ngonhim.Yousti
llneedtoworkand
hav
ey ourownt
hingsandbeabl
etot
akecar
e
ofyourchi
ld
Me:
Iheary
ou
Her:
good.Andwor
k?Wonty
oul
osey
our
i
nter
nshi
p?
Me:Imight.Oneoft hetermsinthecont
ract
wasthatIdon’tgetpregnantbef
oreI’
m
per
manent
Her:wel
lyoumightshowl ater
.Soyoucan
conti
nueworki
nguntilot
herwise.You’
llhav
eto
tal
ktoyourbossthoughjustsothattheyare
abl
et of
indarepl
acementf oryou
Me:
ok
Her:youcanalwayscomeandworkformeor
Crai
gifevert
hingsdon’
tworkoutwher
eyou
ar
enow
Me:
I’
m notmov
ingt
oNewYor
k
Her:
I’
m notaski
ngy
ouYolanda.Youpr
egnant
andIwouldl
iket
ohavey
oucl oseby
Me:andwhataboutMi
so?He’
smychild’
s
f
athershoul
dn’
thehav
easayinwhathappens
wi
thhischil
d?
Her
:whowi
l
ltakecar
eofy
oui
nLAYol
anda?
Me:I
’v
ebeendoingfi
neall
thesey
ear
sinLA.I
wi
ll
sti
llbef
ineevenwit
habell
y
Her
:fi
ne.Bel
i
ket
hat
Me: Idon’tasky ouforany thi
ng.Ihavenever
askedy ouforany thingthusfarbutpleaselet
mel i
vemyl i
feasIwasl ivi
ngitbeforeyou
camei ntothepict ur
e.Iloveandr especty
ou
andIknowI ’
vedi sappoint
edy ouinthewor st
waybutIwon’ tbey ourprisonerandIwon’tli
ve
tober emindedt hatI’m adisappoint
menttoy ou
andy ourhusbandmom.I ’m sorr
ybutthat’
sjust
meandt hewayI ’
m am.
Her
:okf
ine
Me:
thanky
ou
Shel
ookedatmeonceandt
hengotupandl
eft
.
Callmewhat evernamey oufeell
ikecall
ingme
butsher ui
nedthingst hemomentshebr ought
upthewayIgr ewup.Idi dn’
tasktober apedat
10y earsol
dandInev eraskedtobeasexsl ave
tooldmen.Asf orMi soandI ,It
houghtIhadi t
coveredbutmist akesdohappenandatt he
ti
met herewast hatissuewithEsterandIf orgot
aboutmycheckupandBJ( Bubbles/Butt
ercup
Junior)wasther esul
tofmyf orgetful
ness.It
happensandIwi ll
lovehim orhernomat ter
whatt hesi
tuat
ioni s.
.
[
05/
10,09:
22]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#28
.
.
SoItoldmybossthatIwaspreggi
esandtomy
sur
prisehewascoolwit
hitandhesaidIcoul
d
continuewi thmyj obandIgothi red
permanent ly.Couldl i
fegetanybet t
er?My
brother’spartywasgr eatandheandIwer e
closerthanev er,mustbet hebabygr owi ng
i
nsideofme.Mom cal l
edmeev er ydayt o
checkonhergr andchildandt omakesur ethatI
wasn’ tdepressedorwhat soev er .Iwasnow8
mont hspr eggiesandMi so’ sfami lywasmor e
l
ov i
ngandwel comedmewi thopenar ms
exceptAy aofcause, likeIsai d, shesai dIwas
tryi
ngt otrapMi sowi thababyandwant edt he
Bessmoney .Misowasser iouswi t
hschool
becausenowhehadnochoi cebutt ofinishhis
studiesandgetawel l-pay ingj obandbeabl eto
takecar eofhischi ld.Idi dn’tknowt hegender
yetandIdi dn’twantt oknowi t.Ihadgot ten
my selfwiththehel pofmypar ent sa3- bedr oom
housei nani cenei ghbour hoodandast ayin
nanny .Yes,Iwaspr egnantbutIwasnotabout
tolivewi t
haboy fr
iendnow.i tj ustr uinst hi
ngs
andI ’
m notr eadyf ortheconst antf i
ght i
ngand
st
uffev enthoughwe’vebeenargui
ngal ot
l
ately
.Idon’tknow, If
eell
i
kehe’sdist
antf r
om
me.itsDecemberandsoonI ’l
lbeleavi
ngf or
Chri
stmas.I v
ywasher eandwewer esit
ting
watchingtvtogether.
Her
:sohowdoesi
tfeel
bei
ngpr
egnant
?
Me:I’m enjoy
ingi
tactual
ly
.IthoughtI’dbe
depressedandhateitbutI’
ml ovingi
t.hav
ingt
o
feel
myl itt
leoneki
ck,it
sbeaut i
ful
Her
:Lal
a
Me:
yeah?
Her
:pl
easedon’
tbemad
Me:whenyoust
artasent
encel
i
ket
hatt
hen
bestbel
i
eveIwi
l
lbemad
Shepl
ayedwi
thherf
inger
s
Me:
Yvet
tewhat
’sgoi
ngon?
Her
:youneedanannyandEst
eri
sav
ail
abl
e
Ichuckl
ed.Shewasj
oki
ngr
ight
?thatwoman
fai
ledbei
ngamot hert
omeandher,
what
makesherthi
nkthatshe’
sgoi
ngt
obeagood
nannytomychil
d?
Her
:hearmeoutpl
ease
Iwaslookingatherwait
ingf
oranexpl
anat
ion
orwhateverbul
lthatwasgoi
ngtocomeoutof
hermouth
Her:
lookshe’
staki
nghermedsandtheChemo
i
swor ki
ngandshehaschangedfort
hebet
ter
Lal
a.Pleasej
ustgi
veherachance
Me:IvyI’
m pr
egnantandIdon’
twantt
opop
ear
ly.Pl
easeleavebef
oreIsaysomet
hingt
hat
wil
lrui
noursister
hood
Her
:Redcomeon
Me: NOYv ett
e.Thatwomanisthesourceofmy
pai
n, shebrokeme,shemademedodespi cabl
e
thi
ngswi thmenoldenoughtobemyf ather.
Shedi dn’
tgiv
eadamnhowt hatmademef eel
j
ustasl ongasshegetspai
dandwegett ohave
foodont hetable.Shewant edt opimpy ouout
Yvetteandbecauseofmeshedi dn’t.shewas
will
i
ngt osellherowndaught erj usttogetaf ew
bucksbutIbeggedhert ousemei nstead.I
can’tbel
ieveyouwantmet of orgivet hat
woman.Icannotbel i
evet haty ouwoul dwant
thatwomant obemychi l
d’snanny .Iwi l
l di
e
beforeshegoesany wherenearmybaby .God
you’reunbel
ievableyouknowt hat?May beI
shouldhavejustletherdoasshepl easedwi t
h
youbecauset henmay bey ouwoul dn’tbet aki
ng
whatIwentt hroughf oryousol ightl
y .
 
Shewasnowi ntearsandIwasbr eat
hingso
heavi
lyIevenhadashar ppaininmyhear t.I
feel
li
keIshelteredYvet tesomucht oapoi nt
whereshedoesn’ tunder standhowl i
fewor ks.
Shewoul dn’
tbet heper sonsheisnowhadInot
shel
teredherandpr otect edherfrom herown
mother.Ishouldhavel etherbet henmay beshe
wouldn’tbespeakingliket hi
s.somanyt imesI
haveletYvett
ewal kallov ermebecauseshe’ s
youngerthanmeandIwantedhert
ogrowup
dif
ferent
lyfr
om mebuti
nst
eaditmadehera
brat.
Her
:sot
hisi
showy
our
eal
l
yfeel
?
Me: Iusedt oaskmy selfever
yni ghtwhyy our
motherhat edmesomuchbecauseInev erdi d
anythi
ngt ohernotev enonce.Sheusedy out o
gettome, sheknewIwoul dn’tletherdo
anythi
ngt oy ou.Sheknewt hatIwoul dspar e
mylifefory ou.Doy ouknowt hatsheonce
thr
eatenedt ot akeyououtoft hatboarding
school?Didy ouknowt hatTobi ashadt opay
her200kj ustsoshecoul dleav eyouandIal one?
Ofcausey ouwoul dn’tknowbecauset oy ou
yourmot herissi ckandhersi cknesssuddenl y
makesheranangel .
Her
:No.y
oul
yi
ng.Shewoul
dnev
er
Me:somanynightsshet
hreat
enedtouseyou
whenIcomplai
nedaboutbei
ngti
redor
whatsoev
erbutsheal
waysknewinthebackof
hermindthatshewoul dneveruseherown
daughter
.Yout hi
nkIdon’tknowthatl
ateron
whenshet houghtIwassleepingshewould
sneakint
oy ourroom andfeedyouandtelly
ou
nottotel
lme?  
Sheshookherhead
Me:
pleasej
ustl
eav
e
Shewascr yinguncont rol
lablyandIhadaf ew
tear
sofmyown.Igotupandwentt omyr oom
andlockedmydoorandsatont hef l
oor.When
you’
v ehadenough, you’vehadenough.Iwas
star
tledbymyphoner i
ngingandIknewv ery
wellthatitwasei thermom orMi so’smom or
Misohi msel f
,theyaret heonest hatdon’ tstop
call
i
ngme.Idi dn’tmov eaninchandl itt
leone
couldn’tstopkicking.Ibur i
edmyf acei nmy
handsandj ustcri
ed, Icouldn’tdot hisanymor e,
I’
vebot tl
edupsomucht hatIjustcan’ tanymor e.
Inmycr y
ingIendedupsl eepingont hef l
oor
andwaswokenupbyMi sobangi ngonmydoor
suchthatIhear
dt hekeyt
ryi
ngt opushmykey
outofthekeyhole.Idi
dn’
trespond
Hi
m:But
ter
cupopent
hisdoor
Ikeptst
il
l
Hi
m:BabyMamapl
easej
ustopen
Icouldn’thelpbutgi
ggle.That’swhathecall
ed
mesomet imesandi tal
way stickl
edme.I
helpedmy sel
fgetupandt henopenedthedoor
forhim andhepul l
edmei nf orabonecrushi
ng
hug
Him:I
’v
ebeenwor r
iedsi
ck.Youwer
en’
t
answer
inganyofourcal
l
s.Yourmom cal
l
edme
pani
cki
ngandsodidYaya
Me:
MisoI
’
mfi
ne
Isai
dst
ruggl
i
ngt
ogetoutofhi
sar
msandhe
l
etme. 
Hi
m:y
ou’
vebeencr
ying.What
’sgoi
ngon?
Me:
Misokushl
eI’
mfi
ne!
Isnappedandher ai
sedaneyebrow.Iwasnot
aboutt oapologi
seatall
.Heneedstostop
fussing.Iwalkedtothebedandhefoll
owed
behindmel ikealostpuppy
Hi
m:But
ter
cupt
alkt
omepl
ease
Me:Ifeel
li
keI’
mlosi
ngyou.Idon’
tknowto
whatortowhobutyounother
eanymore.You
notmineanymore
Hi
m:But
ter
cupy
ou’
l
lnev
erl
oseme
Me: t
henImustbeseeingthi
ngsorf eel
ing
things.Youhardl
yevercal
lli
key ouusedto,you
visitmeonceadayandt hat’
sitandwheny ou
her eit
’sli
keyouj
ustheref
orthesexandt hen
youl eave.I
sther
esomeoneel seinyourli
fe
Mi so? 
Him:what?NO.I
’
dnev
ercheatony
ou
Butt
ercup 
Me:
then?What
’sgoi
ngon?
Hi
m:I
’
vej
ustbeencaughtupwi
thwor
kthat
’s
al
l
.Ther
eisnoot
herwoman
Me:andt
heni
ghty
oucameher
esmel
l
ingof
per
fume?
Hi
m:what
?
Me:Il
oveyoubutIcannotcompetewit
hanone
pr
egnantgi
rlwhocandoallthet
hingsIcan’
tdo
i
nbed
Him: Butt
ercupthereisnootherwoman.The
othernightImetupwi thAyaandherf r
iend
Kell
yt hat
’sall
.Iwouldneverdisr
espectyouli
ke
that.Youhavet obeli
eveme
Hewasev enpl eadi
ngwi t
hhiseyes.May beI’m
overr
eacti
ng.Whenev erwespokebackwhen
wewer esti
llt
ryingtogett oknoweachot herhe
wouldtel
lmeaboutt hest uf
fhisfatherputhis
mom throughwhent heywer esti
lldati
ngandhe
vowedtohimsel ftonev erbeli
kehi m.Derri
ck
Bessusedt obeapl ay erandevenwhenhewas
withMiso’
smom hecheat edonhermul t
ipl
e
ti
mesandYay aforgav ehim mult
ipleti
mes.
Misobeggedmet hati
fheev ercheat
edonmeI
shoul
dn’
tstaywit
hhim becausehenev erwants
toseemeinthatpainknowingthathewast he
onebehi
ndmyt ears.
 
Him: But
ter
cupI ’
m sorry
.I’
m sorr
yI’
vebeen
dist
ant,workhasmebyt heball
sbutIpr
omise
youI’
llmakethingsright
Ij
ustnodded.Hepul
ledmyhandsandt
hen
ki
ssedmyf or
ehead.
 
Hi
m:I
’
llmaket
hingsr
ight
Hepull
edmet ohischestandGodDamnhi s
col
ognewasdoi ngt hethingsi
nallthewrong
andri
ghtplaces.Ipull
edawayf rom hi
schest
andwrappedmyar msar oundhisneckpull
ing
hi
sfaceclosertomi ne
Me:
Ireal
l
ywantt
ohav
esexwi
thy
our
ightnow
Hechuckl
ed
Hi
m:I
’
mlov
ingpr
egnantBut
ter
cup
Ipul
l
edhi
shai
randhegi
ggl
edandki
ssedme.
Fel
tli
keIhadn’thadhi
mi nagesandy
etIsaw
thi
sguyjustyester
day.Wemadeourwayto
bedandwedi dwhatlover
sdoandhecuddled
met i
l
lIf
ellasleep.
Voice:ifonlyyouweren’
tthisstubborn
i
ndependentobsessedsex ymamaIwoul dpop
thequest i
onrightnowbutknowi ngyou,you’
ll
probablysaynoandI ’m af
raidofbeingrej
ected
byy ou.Iwouldn’tbeabl
etohandl esuchfrom
you. 
Ikeptquiet
.Iwasn’tdreami ngatall
,Misowas
brushingmyhairandt alki
ngtomet hinki
ngI’
m
asleep.Whywouldhewantmar ri
agenow?We
wayt ooyoungandt here’snorush.
Him: IloveyousomuchandIwoul dnev erdo
anythingtojeopardi
sewhaty ouandIhav e.
Thatni ghtIcamesmel li
ngofanot herwomani s
becauseMi awashelpingmel ookforthe
perf
ectr ockbutIcouldn’ttel
ly out
hatbecause
knowi ngyou(chuckl
es)y ouwoul dprobably
t
hrowaf
itaboutt
hatt
oo.
Heki ssedthetopofmyhead.Thi sguywas
doingt het
hings.Iwashol dingbacktears
becauseIdi dn’
twanthi mt oknowIwasawake.
SoIkeptqui etandlistenedbuthedidn’tgoon.
Insteadhet r
iedtoslideofthebedwi t
hout
alarmingmeandhesucceeded.Hewal kedout
ofthebedr oom andIt ri
edtogobackt osleep
untilhewokemeupaboutanhourort wolater
withapl at
eofmyf av e.Thesmel lwasdivi
ne.
Mymancancooky a’l
l!
.
.
[
05/
10,09:
22]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#29
.
.
2YEARSLATER
Iwasnow21andmyl it
tleonewasay earol d
andshewasbeaut iful thant hewor dbeaut i
ful.
Eversincemybr eak- outonI v yourr elationshi p
hasbeenonast eepsl opeandIwon’ tl i
ei t
doesn’tbothermeatal l,Itr
iedt oapol ogi set o
herbutsheshutmeout .MisoandIbr okeup,
nothingbadhappenedofsuchnat ur ebutwe
agreedtoj ustendt hingsandf ocusonourl ittl
e
oneandwewer ebet terof fthatwayandno
l
itt
leKendr aImi nathi isnott her easonwebr oke
up.Iguesswej ustf ell outofl ovei fIcoul dput
i
tthatway , butallIknowi sthatIgav ebi rthand
forsomer easonIf eltdi ffer
entabouthi m.he’ s
sti
llmybestf r
iendandhest illl
ovesmel i
ket he
dayhef ellinlovewi thmebutwej ustbet terof f
thewaywear eIguess.Mom wasagr eat
grandmot herandsowasYay aandBoobi e.
WhatcanIsay ,Kendr awasl ovedbyev eryone…
evenAy aher selflov edmydaught erher
brother’
sdaught er.Mi soandIhadoccasi onal
sexandwewer egoodl iket hat.I’
veseenEst er
aroundbutIavoidheratall costs.Mybr others
wereamazingunclesandt heyspoi l
tKendr atoo
damnmuchf ormyl i
king.Shehadj ustf
inished
washingandwewer ewai t
ingf orherfat
hert o
comeandf etchher,shewasagi f
tedchild,she
wasal r
eadytal
kingandy etshewasonl yay ear
old.Il
ovedhowqui ckshegr ewupbecause
thenitmadethingseasierforme.
Her
:mom wher
e’sdad?
Me:
he’
sonhi
swaybaby
. 
Itwast heweekendandwewer egoingto
Miso’sparents’houseforabr aai,Idon’
teven
knowwhatt heywerecel ebr
atingbutallIknow
i
st hatMisot ol
dmewashanddr essupandbe
readyby1: 40pm.Mi ssywasget tingali
ttl
e
i
mpat ientandIam tobl amef orthatbecauseI
my sel
fam al it
tl
eimpat i
ent.Wehear dthecar
pullupandsher anoutside
Me:
heynor
unni
ng
shedi
dn’
tev
enhearme.If
ini
shedpacki
ngup
thedishesandthenawhi l
elat
erhewal kedin
carryi
nghisdaught
er.IsweartoGodt hisman
l
ookedy ummyev eryti
meIsawhi m, i
t’
sl i
ke
he’stry
nagetbackatmef orendingthings
betweenusbymaki ngsurethathelooksal l
sortsofyum.Hecamet oki
ssmycheek
Hi
m:heyBut
ter
cup
Me:
hi
Iwal
kedoutandhef
oll
owedmewi
thKendr
a
st
il
li
nhisar
ms
Hi
m:sor
ryI
’
mlat
eIgothel
dup 
Me:
yeahsur
e
Him:don’
ttel
lmey oumadatmef
orbei
ngl
ate
byonlyt
womi nut
es
Me:
I’
m not
Hi
m:y
oul
ookgor
geousbyt
heway
Me:
andherper
fumesmel
l
sgr
eatony
ou
Hekeptqui
et.Ihandedhi
m Kendr
a’st
hingsand
thentookmyhandbagandf ol
l
owedhimlocki
ng
thehouse.Igoti
nsidei
nt hefr
ontwhi
lehewas
strappi
ngmissyinherseat.Hepl
ayedmusic
andwedr oveinsi
lence
Hi
m:i
t’
snot
hingser
ious
Me:
youdon’
towemeany
thi
ngMi
so
Hi
m:youthemot herofmychi
l
dandmybest
f
ri
endBut
tercup
Me:
Miso,
itsokt
haty
ouseei
ngsomeone.
Hi
m:oh
Me:
so….
?
Hi
m:what
?
Me:
Iwantt
oknowabouther
Hi
m: wenotdoi
ngt
hisBut
ter
cup.Wenotgoi
ng
t
odiscussmysexl
i
fe
Me:y
ousai
dity
our
sel
f,I
’
myourbestf
ri
end…
mi
ghtaswel
l
Hi
m:Iwoul
dn’
twantt
ohearaboutt
heguyy
ou
busywi
thbecausei
twoul
dbeuncomf
ort
abl
e
formet
olist
en
Me:
yout
heonl
yguyI
’
m busywi
thso…
Him: whenyoudogetbusywit
hanot herguyI
don’twanttohearhowthi
ngsaregoing
becausethenitwil
lmakemejealous
Inoddedandt urnedt olookout side.Iwasn’ t
j
eal ous…okmay beIwas.Iendedt hings
becauseI ’
m scar edofcommi tment .WhenI
gav ebi rt
htoKendr aIwentt hroughaphase, I
didn’ twantt oseeherl etalonet ouchherf ora
whol eweekbecauseIwasscar edt hatImight
hur therorsomet hing.theyev enr ecommended
at her api
stformebecauseIwassodepr essed
andsoscar ed.InthatphaseIendedt hi
ngswith
Mi so, Iwast er
ri
fiedthatImi ghtbecomet he
mot herEsterwast ome.Iwasn’ thy pedupatall
thatIgav ebirt
ht oababygi rlbecausei nthe
backofmymi ndoal way shopedf orasonbut
byGod’ sgraceIov ercamei tallandIl ove
Kendr
amor
ethanl
i
fei
tsel
f.
Hi
m:y
ouknowIst
il
lhav
ethatr
ing
Me:
Miso.
..
Him:IloveyouButt
ercupandwhatwehadwas
speci
al.Youcan’
texpectmetojustgetov
er
youli
kethatespeci
all
ywhenwehav eachil
d
toget
her
Me:y
ou’
llmeetsomeonewhowi
l
lbebet
ter
t
hanIev
erwas
Him:whatifIdon’
twantsomeoneel
se?Whati
f
Iwantyouandonlyyou?Youcan’
texpectmet
o
j
ustmov eonjustl
iket
hat
Me:
buty
oumov
ingonbyseei
ngot
herpeopl
e
Hi
m:she’
snoty
ou.She’
l
lnev
erbey
ou
Me:thenstopl
ooki
ngformei nherandt
ry
knowingherpr
operwi
thouthavi
ngtocompar
e
hert
ome
Hi
m:l
et’
sjustdr
opt
hispl
ease
Me:
fine
Il
ookedatmydaught erwhowasbusypl ayi
ng
wit
hhert eddybearandtalki
ngt oi
t.shewas
suchahappysoul butalsoacrybaby .When
shewasst il
lababyshewoul dcrytoapoi nt
whereIwoul dcryt
ooandnot hingIdidev er
workedorwoul dshutherup.Iwouldn’thave
madei twit
houtmom anddadandev enwhenI
camebackt oLAMi sohadt oli
v ewit
hme
becauseshewasahandf ulandMisowas
al
way sabletocalm herdownmor ethanme.
Hi
m:she’
sbeaut
if
ul
Me:
yeahshei
s
Him:t
ot hinksomeonethi
sper
fectcamef
rom
suchdysfuncti
onal
people
Me:
I’
m notdy
sfunct
ional
Him:whatev
ermakesy
ousl
eepatni
ght
Butt
ercup
Me:
youl
uckyy
oudr
ivi
ngot
her
wiseI
’
dbeal
l
ov
ery
ou
Hi
m:Icanal
way
sst
opt
hecar
Me:si
esy
oudi
sgust
ing!That
’snotwhatI
meant
Hel
aughed
Me:
alway
sdi
rt
ymi
ndedy
eses!
Hi
m:whatcanIsay
,youbr
ingoutt
hedi
rti
nme
Ifoundmy selflaughing.Thisguywas
somet hingelse.Wepar kedi nfr
ontofhi s
parents’houseandt henwegotof f.Iwas
wearingawhi t
eoffshoul dersmaxi dresswi tha
sandal andmyhai rhangi ngloosewi t
hno
makeupatal l notevenlipsti
ck.Wewal kedin
andwentoutbackandt hef amilywasgat hered
aroundt hepool .Yayawaswear i
ngabi kini
l
ookingal lkindsofsexyandherhusbandwas
wearingswi mmi ngtrunksandhewassi tti
ngon
thepool stai
r s.Peopleher ewerejustcar efree
anddr essedupf orthepool .Yayacamet ohug
me
Her
:howar
eyou?
Me:
I’
m goodMahandhowar
eyou?
Her
:I’
m good.Wher
e’smygr
andbaby
?
It
urnedbehi
ndmeandt
heywer
enott
her
e
Me:
theywer
eri
ghtbehi
ndmewi
thherf
ather
Her:
theymustbesomewher
eint
hehouse.You
knowwhereever
ythi
ngi
s
Me:
yesMah,
thanks
Her
:okcool
Withthatshelef
tmeandIwentt ogr eet
every
one.Ky l
e’
swifewasheretogetherwith
Yanga’swifeandtheyweresweetheart.Aya’
s
husbandwasbyt hebraaiwit
hMJandKy l
e.I
wenttositnexttoBoobi
e.Shewasi nher80’s
orlat
e70’sandshewasst il
lbeauti
fulanda
l
it
tleaged.
Me:
howar
eyou?
Her
:I’
m goodButt
ercupandhowar
eyou?
Where’
smygreatgrandchi
l
d?
Me:somewherewit
hherf
atherorgr
andmot
her
now.Idon’
tknowanymor
e
Shechuckl
ed
Her:Ist
il
ldon’
tunderst
andwhyyouandthat
boydon’tgetmarr
iedandrai
set
hatchi
ldina
stabl
ehome
Me:
comeonBoobi
ewespokeaboutt
his
Her
:Igotmar
ri
edwhenIwasy
ourage
Me:Boobi
et i
meshav
echanged.Weal
lwant
di
ff
erentt
hings
Her
:thatboyl
ovesy
ou
Me:
IknowhedoesandIl
ovehi
mtoo 
Her
:but
?
Me:
wewantdiff
erentthi
ngs.I
’m notupfor
mar
ri
ageandIcan’
thelpbutfeell
ikeifwegot
mar
ri
editwoul
druinthi
srel
ati
onshipwehav e
now
Her
:thati
schildishandst
upi
d.Sowhatar
e
t
hesediff
erentthingsy
ouwant?
Me:
youknow.
 
Her
:noIdon’
tknow.enl
i
ght
enmepl
ease
Iwassav edbyKendr arunningtoherBoobieall
hypedupandexci tedwearingswi mming
costume.Shel ookedador ableasalways.They
greetedeachot herandhadaconv ersat
ionjust
thetwooft hem.Ideci dedtogoi nsi
detoget
my selfsomet hingtodr i
nk.Misowasont he
phoneandi twasonl oudspeakerhewasi nthe
kit
chent alkingtosomewoman
Hi
m:It
oldy
ouI
’
llseey
oul
ater
Her:don’
tbot
her
.Al
lyoucar
eabouti
syour
babymamaanddaughter
Hi
m:ofcause.It
oldy
ouf r
om t
hegetgot
hat
t
heyweremymai npr
ior
it
y
Shej
ustdr
oppedt
hecal
lonhi
m andhebanged
t
heki
tchencount
er.Iwal
kedi
n
Me:
ever
ythi
ngok?
Hi
m:y
eahev
ery
thi
ng’
sfi
ne
Me:
yousur
e
Hi
m: whycan’
twegobackt
othewayweonce
wer
e?
Ishr
ugged
Me:wejustcan’
t.I
t’
sbeenay
earnowMi
so.
Youhav
et omoveon
Hi
m:I
’
llmov
eonwheny
oumov
eon
Me:I
’m bet
terof
fthewayt hi
ngsareMiso.I
’m
notr
eadytoletamani ntomydaught
er’sl
if
e
andhavehi
m mi st
reather
Him:But
ter
cupyouneedt
ogethel
p.I
t’
snot
r
ightt
hatyoul
iv
einsuchf
ear
Me:
I’
m notl
i
vingi
nfear
Him:youdon’
twanttoletanothermanint
o
yourl
i
febecauseyouscaredthathemighttur
n
outtobeamonster.Youar
escaredthatyou
mightsomedaybecomeanEstertoKendra.I
t’
s
notheal
thyf
oryouoranyonearoundyou
Me:Iwi
l
lbef
inewi
tht
imeMi
so.Thanksf
ort
he
car
e
Hebrushedmyshoul der
sandt henwalkedout
l
ivi
ngmet odowhatIhadcomet odoi
nt he
ki
tchenint
hef i
rstpl
ace.Ipouredmyselfj
uice
andthenwalkedouttojoinevery
one.
.
.
[05/
10,09:
22]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGI NED*
**
#24
.
.
Myboy f
ri
endandIwer egood…Feelsgood
cal
li
nghimt hat.Iwasnowi nNewYor kandas
muchashewasn’ thappywiththeshortnoti
ce
becauseapparentl
yhehadpl annedsomet hi
ng
forl
ateronbuthewasmor ethansuppor tiv
eof
thei
deaofmemeet i
ngmyt winandot her
brot
her.Ihav en’
theardany thingfrom Ivysince
yest
erdayandIdon’ tknowwhet herIshoul dbe
worri
edorwhatbecausesheal sowasn’ t
answeringherphoneandt hattoowasr aisi
ng
upmypr essure.CandiceandIwer edriving
homef rom theairport,Iwasdeadt i
red.
Her
:youmustbet
ir
ed?
Me:
yep.Ij
ustwantt
osl
eepandwakeup
t
omorr
owlater
Shechuckl
ed 
Her
:yousoundl
i
key
oul
ovey
ourbeaut
yrest
Me:
youhav
enoi
dea
Her:IdobecauseIgetcr
ankywhensomeone
wakesmeup
Ichuckl
ed.Yept
hisbeaut
if
ulr
edheadi
smy
mom alri
ght
Me:
Ishoul
dcal
lMi
soandt
ell
himI
’
m saf
e
Ihadadozenmi ssedcallsf rom him.nigga
shouldbesleepingbutinst eadheouchea
call
ingmenonest op.Icalledhim andhe
answeredsamet i
memaki ngmel augh.He
soundedsleepyandhi sv oicewasdoi nga
numberonme…ohr i
ghthe’ salsopar tl
ywhyI
wasdeadt ir
ed, wehadal otofsessi onsbefore
Iwenttoboar dtheplaneandIdi dn’tgetmuch
sleepontheplanebecauseofmyownt r
ust
i
ssueswi t
hhei ghtsofwhi chi twasn’tasbadas
IthoughtbutyeahIt r
avelledwel landMi soand
Isaidwewoul dspeaki nthemor ninginstead
becausenowhej ustwant edt osleepknowi ng
thatIwassafe.
Her
:boy
fri
end?
Me:
yeah
Her
:howol
dishe?
Me:
30
Shechokedonhersal
i
vaandIcoul
dn’thel
pbut
l
aughather.Ir
eal
l
ywantedt
opullherlegand
seemst
ohav
ewor
kedper
fect
ly
Me:I’
m ki
ddi
ngmom,he’
s18doinghi
sfi
rst
yeahi
nLandSur
vey
ingandhe’
saBess
Shel
aughedatmyl
astst
atement
Her:
youal
mostgav
emeahear
tat
tackt
her
e
Lal
a
Me:I
’
m sorry
.justwant
edtoseeyourr
eact
ion
andi
tsexact
lyasIhadexpect
ed
Her
:I’
l
lgety
ou
Wedr oveinsidet hi
sbeaut i
fulbi
ghouse.The
l
ightswerest i
llonf orsomer eason,
may bethey
wereeagert omeetme?Wet ookoutmyt hi
ngs
andthensheunl ockedt hedoorandwewer e
metbymyr epli
cawhol ookedmor elikedad
though.Hewaswear ingboxersandhewas
withagirl
andt hegi rlwassitti
ngont opofthe
kit
chencount er
.If oundmy selfsmil
ingasI
couldfeelmommydear estfuming.Thisought
tobeinter
esting
Her
:YondaGr
aham May
sonwhati
sgoi
ngon?
Thegir
ljumpedoffthecounterandshetur
ned.
Shewasabeaut i
fulbl
onde.Shewaswear i
ng
bro’
st-
shir
twhichlookedl
ikear eal
l
yshort
dresst
oher
Hi
m:mom Icanex
plai
n
Her:I
’m wait
ing.Doy
ourpar
ent
sevenknow
thatyouareinmyhouseint
hemiddl
eofthe
night
?
Sheshookherheadnol
ooki
ngdown
Mom: soshecan’
tspeakyetshehast
he
audacityt
ositbut
tnakedont opofmyki
tchen
counter?Yondadr
ivethi
schil
dhomenow
Hi
m:butm…
Mom:
didIst
utt
er?
Sheshookhi
sheadandhewal
kedt
owar
dst
he
exi
t
Mom:
wewi
l
lspeakoft
hist
omor
row.
 
Sheputthekeysont opofthekit
chencounter
andsheturnedtome.Yondawal kedoutwit
h
hi
sgirl
fr
iend.Icoul
dn’thol
dbackthelaugh,
I’m
sor
rybutCandicedidn’tst
ri
kemeast hestr
ict
mothertypeofwomanandt oseeherinact
ion
wasreall
yfunny
Me:
sor
ryy
ouwal
kedi
ntot
hat
Her:
Ishouldbeapol
ogi
singt
oyou.Iwasnev
er
pr
eparedforsuch
Me:andyoudi
dn’
tst
ri
kemeast
hisst
ri
ctmom.
i
t’
sfunny
Her:
don’tst
artwi
thme.comel
etmeshowy
ou
wherey
ou’ll
besleepi
ng
Inoddedandf
oll
owedhercarryi
ngmybag.On
ourwayuphersonwaswalkingdownwit
hhis
gir
lf
ri
endwhocouldn’
tev
enlookusint
heeye
Mom: Iexpectmycarkey
sri
ghtwher
ethey
shoul
dbe
Hi
m:y
esma’
am
Hereal
l
yseemedannoy edbutwhatcanone
say,
hewasdisrespectingherunderherroof.I
n
themorni
ngIwor kupar ound10andbr ushed
myteet
handshower edbef oreheadi
ngout .on
mywayoutIbumpedi ntotwinnywalki
ngoutof
hisr
oom al
ldressedup.Myt wi
nwashotand
hehadstyl
etoo,hishairwaswel l
cut.
Me:
mor
ning
Hi
m:sup’
Me:
I’
m Yol
anda
Hi
m:Iknow
Me:
att
it
udemuch?
Hi
m:shutupmuch?
Me:whatthehel
li
syourprobl
em?I’
m notthe
onewhoaskedyoutobri
ngblondi
eoverfora
ni
ghtcap
Him:youdon’
tknowmesowat
chhowy
ou
speaktome
Hisphoner angandhewal kedawayandlef
tme
stunned…whyt heat t
it
ude?WhatdidIdo?I
walkeddownst ai
rsandmom andacut i
ewere
sit
ti
ngt herechatt
ingli
kegoodol df
ri
ends.I
thi
nkthat ’
smyl i
tt
lebrother.
Me:
mor
nings
Them:
mor
ning
Her
:Selwynmeetyoursi
sterYol
anda,
Lal
a
meetyourbr
otherSel
wyn
Hi
m:ni
cet
omeety
ou.Fi
nal
l
y,asi
ster
Hesaidthatgi
vi
ngmeav er
yti
ghtwar
m hug,
it
f
eltgoodtobeinhi
sti
nyarms.Hewasso
welcomi
ngandsuchasweethear
t
Me:
nicet
omeety
out
oo
Webr
oket
hehug
Me:
youl
ookl
i
keCa…Lal
a
Hi
m:soI’
vehear
dbutIt
hinkIl
ookl
i
kemydead.
Howol
dareyou?
Me:
sameageasYonda…Wet
wins
Hi
m:whoathat
’snotf
un.Shar
ingabi
rt
hdayand
al
l
?Nothankyou
Icoul
dn’
thel
pbutlaughandsodi
dCandice.
Howwast hi
sli
ttl
eoneYonda’
sbr
otheragai
n?
Hewassuchaf unspir
it
Me:
Ithi
nkIl
i
key
oual
ready
Hi
m:t
rustmet
her
e’snor
easont
ounl
i
keme
Il
aughedathi
m
Mom:
that
’snott
hephr
ase
Hi
m:Iknowmom.chi
l
lwoul
dyou
Mom:
Iwi
l
lhi
tyouki
ddo
Hi
m:al
ri
ghtmom
Hi
scolognefi
ll
edther
oom bef
oreIev
ennot
ice
hi
m st
andingbehi
ndme
Hi
m:f
ami
l
y
Sel
:mor
ning.Wher
etosoear
ly?
Hi
m:noneofy
ourbusi
ness.Mor
ningmom
Shejustl
ookedathi
m andt
henr
etur
nedt
o
dri
nkinghert
ea
Sel
:whatdi
dyoudot
hist
ime?
Hi
m: shutup.Mom canImeetupwi
thmy
f
ri
ends?
Mom: soheknowshowt
oaskf
orper
missi
on
af
terall
?
Hi
m:mom I
’
m sor
ryaboutl
astni
ght
Her:wewill
tal
kaboutwhathappenedwhen
yourfat
herget
sback.Younotgoingany
where
Hi
m:mom t
hat
’snotf
air
Her:what
’snotfai
rist
owal ki
nonmyhal f
nakedsonwithhishal
fnakedgir
lfr
iendbusy
doingl
ordknowsinmykitchen.Thatisnotfai
r
Yonda
Hi
m:butmom Iapol
ogi
sed
Her
:andIhear
dyou.Lal
ahav
eyoushower
ed
al
ready
?Iwantt
oshowy
ouar
ound
Me:I’
ll
hav
ebr
eakf
astf
ir
standt
henI
’
llbeal
l
your
s
Her
:Sel
fini
shupbabyFr
ed’
smom i
sonher
way
Hi
m:al
mostdonemom
Shenoddedandwalkedout.Yondadeci
dedto
takeaseatwi
thhi
sflatassonthehighchai
rs.
Voi
ce:
fami
l
yI’
m home
IlookedupandGoodheav enst
heheav enl
y
fathercancreate!Okmay beIspoketosoon,
l
ittl
eonedoesn’ tlookli
kemommybuthel ooks
l
ikedaddy .Niggalookedli
kehewor kedout
everynowandt hen.Selwynwasalr
eady
hugginghisfatherliket
here’
snotomor row
Him: Imi
ssedy
out
oochamp.Howar
eyou
Yolanda?
Me:
I’
m goodMrMasonandhowar
eyou?
Him:I
’m Cr
aig.Ni
cet
omeety
ou,
youl
ookj
ust
l
ikey
ourmot her
Ismil
edinacknowl
edgement
 ofhi
sst
atement
.
OfcauseIl
ookedli
keher.
 
Hi
m:Yonda
Yoy
o:dad
Hi
m:howar
eyoudoi
ngchamp?
Yoyo:gooddadandy
our
sel
f?Howwasy
our
tr
ip?
Him:I
twasgood,
I’
m good.Wher
e’smy
beaut
if
ulwi
fe?
Hewascar ryingabunchofl il
ieswhichI’
m
assumingwer eforhiswi f
eandaf ewpaper
bags.Hehandedonet omeandonet oeachof
hi
ssonsandt henleftusintheki t
chentogo
fi
ndhiswife.Hehadboughtmeaneckl aceand
earr
ingsetfrom Ti
ffanyandCo.I twasbeaut
if
ul
andIwasi nlovewithit.Iwalkedupstai
rsto
vi
deocallmyman.Hewasshi rt
lessandhis
t
att
oowasj
ustpoppi
ng
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:Iwasbeginni
ngt
othi
nkt
henewf
ami
l
y
t
ookmyplace
Me:theywoul
dnev
er.St
epdaddyboughtme
t
his
Ishowedhi
mthesetandhesmi
l
ed
Him:st
epdaddyistr
ynamakeanimpressi
on.
SeeIwasri
ghtaboutyoumeet
ingyourmother
Me:
yesbabey
ouwer
e
Hi
m:somebodyi
sst
il
li
nPJs
Me:
andsomebodyj
ustf
ini
shedt
hei
rwor
kout
Him:y
ep…gottakeepf
itf
ormyador
abl
efr
eak
ofagi
rlf
ri
end
Me:
hey
!
Him:y
ouknowy
ouar
e.Lookaty
oudr
ool
i
ng
now
Me:
ohshutup.Sodi
dyouendupgoi
nghome?
Hi
m:I
’
m meet
ingt
hem upf
orbr
eakf
ast
Me:
greett
hem f
ormepl
ease
Hi
m:obv
iousl
y.Gr
eett
henewf
am
Me:
yohmommydear
esti
sast
ri
ctone
Hi
m:whydoy
ousayt
hat
?
Me:wewal kedinonmyt wi
nstandi
ngbet ween
someblondechi ck’
slegswit
hhersit
ti
ngont op
oft
hecount erdoinglor
dknows.Shewas
wear
inghist -
shi
rtandhewasi nboxers.She
wassomad
Hi
m:heshoul
dhav
eknownbet
ter
Me:
yep.Hehast
hisat
ti
tudet
owar
dsme
Hi
m: hepr
obablyf
eel
sli
key
ougoi
ngt
orepl
ace
hi
m orsomet
hing
Me:
wet
winsbabe.Iwoul
dnev
err
epl
acehi
m
Hi
m:y
ousoador
abl
e.Hav
eyouwashedy
et?
Me:
yes…why
?
Hi
m:Iwant
edust
ohav
ephonesex
Il
aughedandsodi
dhe
Me:
youar
emessedupy
ouknowt
hat
Him:asl
ongasIcanst
il
lent
ert
ainy
out
henI
’
m
boyf
ri
endi
ngwel
l
Me:
how’
sMi
chel
l
e?
Him:
she’
sokIguess.Miacal
l
edherpar
ent
s
andt
heywer
edevastat
ed 
Me:
sowhatr
eal
l
yhappenedt
oher
?
Him: soshewentt oseetheguyandt oldhim
shewaspr eggies,ni
ggacelebr at
edandt hen
l
ateronwhi l
eMi chel
lewassl eepingshewas
wokenupbyasl apont hecheekandt hen
draggedbyherl egtothefl
oor .Hesawol dtext
s
betweenMi chell
eandIandt henshi i
tgotreal
.
Theyf oughtandf oughtandwel l
therestis
hi
story
Inodded
Me:
soi
t’
syourf
aul
tbasi
cal
l
y
Hi
m:whatdi
dIdo?
 
Me:hady
ouletherbehappyi
nherrelat
ionshi
p
t
hennoneofthi
swouldhavehappened
Him:I’
m nott
heonewhodeclaredhi
sloveto
someniggaandvowedmy sel
ffai
thf
ulandina
rel
ati
onshi
p.Sheshoul
dhaveknownbetter
Me:
sowhatar
eyousay
ing?
Hi
m: t
hatwhenyoui
nar el
ati
onshipneverbe
gr
eedybecauset
heconsequencesofitarenot
ni
ce
Inodded
Him:Butt
ercupIloveyouandIwouldnev
erdo
anyt
hingtojeopardi
sewhatwehave…atleast
noti
ntent
ionall
y
Me:
Iheary
ou
Hi
m:goodgi
rl
.ki
ssme
Il
aughedandpout
edbl
owi
nghi
m aki
ssandhe
j
ustl
aughedatme
Me:
ohwow
Him:
I’
m admir
ing.BabeIl
ovey
ouandIhav
eto
go…Yaya’
scal
li
ng
Me:
byebabe
*
**EndofPC*
**
Aft
ert hephonecal l
Ichangedintoamaxi dr
ess
wit
hapai rofsandalsandputonlightmakeup
andwal kedoutwi t
hmyt hingsaft
erafew
sel
fiesforBae.Mom andherhusbandwer e
walkingoutoft hei
rroom giggl
i
ng.Theywere
cut
et ogether.
.
.
[
05/
10,09:
22]Ron:
**THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#25
.
.
2YEARSLATER
Iwasnow19y earsol dandwasgr aduatingina
fewmont hs’ timedoi ngmyi nter
nshi pinsome
banki ngfirm whi leMi sowasdoi nghi s
Internshipt r
aining…oratl eastshoul dbe.
Candi ceandI ,yesInev ercalledhermom but
Ivydidandwewer egoodl ikethat.Ivynev er
toldmehowt hingswentwi thhermot herbutal l
Iknowi sthatshewentbackt olivewi thhert hat
yearunt ilnowandt heywer egoodt ogether.
NowofcauseIwasn’ thappyabouti tbutIhad
nochoi cebecauseEst eri shermot herandwi l
l
alway sbe.Iav oidedEst eratallcost sby
meet ingIv yintownr athert hanv i
sitingher
there.TobyandIwer ef riends…mor eli
kehe
wasmyment orandMi soandIwer esti
ll
bestiesandl overst houghwef oughtev er ynow
andt henl ikeanynor mal couplebutnof ight
wast oobi gf orus.IworkedunderTobyandhe
wassi ngle.Cr ai
gwasagr eatf ather,myt win
andIwer el ikefir
eandicewewer ealway sat
eachot her’
st hroatsandmyl it
tlebr ot
her
Selwynwhowas12, wasasweet heartandwe
gotalongl i
keahouseonf ire.Ivywasdoi ngher
mat r
icandshewas15y earsol dandshe
wantedt ost udyatYaleorSt anfordandCr aig
sai
di fshehadt heresult
st henshecoul dst udy
anywher eshewant edto.Iwasmeet i
ngupwi t
h
Misof orlunch.Isatdownopposi t
ehi m and
poorthingl ookedl i
kehehadn’ tsl eptinday s.
Me:
youl
ookl
i
keshi
i
t
Hi
m:Iknow.Howar
eyou?How’
swor
k?
Me:I
’
m good.Wor
k’sgood.Howar
eyou?
How’
sschool
?
Hi
m:I
’
m qui
tt
ing
Me:
I’
m sor
rywhat
?
Hi
m:I
’
m dr
oppi
ngout
.Landsur
vey
ingi
snotf
or
me
Me:sincewhen?Howdoy
ourpar
ent
sev
enf
eel
aboutyouqui
tti
ng?
Hi
m: DadandIhadanargumentj
ustt
his
morni
ngabouti
t.Ihav
en’tt
oldmom y
et
Il
ookedathim wai
ti
ngforhi
mt osayhe’
s
j
okingorsomethi
ngbutnope,notMi
sokuhl
e
Me:andifyouquitwhatareyougoi
ngt
ost
udy
?
Youalr
eadyinyourlasty
eardoingy
our
I
nter
nship
Him:Iknow.I
’
mt hi
nki
ngofst
udy
ingIT,
Aya’
s
husbandhasbeent
eachi
ngmeathingort
wo
Me:
ITt
hough?
Him: LSisbor
ingBut
ter
cup.Ial
sowanttodo
somet hi
ngIwill
enj
oydoingl
ikeyouandt
he
restofmysibl
ings
Me:
andwhatdoesMamaBesssay
?
Hi
m:dadwi
l
lpr
obabl
ytel
lherwhenheget
s
backf
rom hi
smeet
ing
Ijustnodded.Thisguyissupposedtograduate
nexty ear;Idon’
tgetwhythesuddenchangeof
heart.Ithoughthelovedwhathewasdoi ngand
I’
m cer t
ainhismom won’tlethi
m qui
tjustl
ike
that.OhGod!  
Me: Bubbl
eswhydon’
tyoufi
nishy
our
Int
ernshi
pandthenst
udyITwhenyou’
ve
securedajob?
Hi
m:But
ter
cupI
… 
Hisphonerangandheansweredi
t.Judgingby
thesuddenchangeoft
oneandlookonhi sface
youcouldtel
li
twasn’
tgoodnewsatall.He
stoodup
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:myf
atherwasshot
.Ihav
etogo
Me:
Mis…
Hewasal
readyoutoft
hedoor.Iset
tledthebi
ll
andt
henr
anaf t
erhi
m buthewasalreadygone.
Hewasi nabadst ate,Iwaspr ayi
ngsohar d
thathedoesn’ tgetintoanacci dent,Icannot
affor
dt olosehi m.Idon’ twantt olosehi m.I
l
ov ehimt hatmuch.Ont henewsi nt hecafé
theywer etalki
ngaboutashoot i
ngt hatbroke
outandbusi nessMogul DerrickBesswhowas
foll
owi nginhi sfatherandgr andfather’ssteps
wasshotandi tseemsser ious, t
hewoman
readingt henewssai dshewoul dupdat eus
l
ateron.Il ookedatt het i
meandmyl unchwas
prett
ymuchov erbutlateronIwasgoi ngt ocall
Misoandgov i
sitMrBess.Idr ovebackt owor k,
yesIhadacarofmyown…cour tesyofmy
newlyf oundedmot her.Shewasact uall
ynota
housewi feandshewor kedf orthemoneyshe
hadandshewasagr eatperson, agoodmot her
event houghwehadourdi fferencesev er
ynow
andt hen.Igott otheof f
iceandcal l
edMi sobut
hewasn’ tanswer i
nganyofmycal ls. 
Toby
:heyRedpl
easef
il
ethese
Me:
yeahsur
e
Idi
dastoldandthencamebacktomydesk.I
wasn’
tasproduct
iveasInor
mall
ywasandI
thi
nkTobynoti
ced
Hi
m:Redy
ouok?
Me:
Miso’
sdadwasshot
Hi
m:What
?When?
Me:
today
.If
oundoutdur
ingmyl
unch
Hi
m:i
syourboy
fri
endok?
Me:
he’
snotanswer
ingmycal
l
s
Hi
m:y
oushoul
dgocheckuponhi
m
Me:
I’
ll
goaf
terwor
k
Hi
m:noi
tsf
inet
her
e’snotmucht
odot
oday
Me:nahheneedst
obewi
thhi
sfami
l
yfornow.
I
’l
lgoinl
ater
Hi
m: okfi
net
hen.Pl
easegety
ourheadbackt
o
wor
kt hen
Inoddedandwedi
daf
ewbudgetpl
ansf
or
somecompanyandt hencameknockof ft
ime
andIdr ovehome.Il i
v edwhereIl i
vedi
nmyf i
rst
year,itwasagr eatplaceafteral
l.Iwentto
attendoneofmycl assesbecauseIwasbusy
doingmymast erspar tti
memeani ngmy
classeswer el
aterint hedayandIhad2mor e
hour sunti
lmynextcl ass.Icall
edsunshineand
sheanswer edaf t
erawhi l
e.There’
saboyshe
wasdat ingnow.
*
**PC*
**
Me:
heysunshi
ne
Her
:heyRed
Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Her:
I’
m doi
nggoodt
hanksRedandhowar
e
you?
Me:
okhowar
eyou?I
’
m goodt
oot
hanks
Shechuckl
edandsodi
dI
Her
:I’
m si
tt
ingwi
thTr
ey
Me:
bet
ternotbedoi
ngt
hingsy
oushoul
dn’
tbe
Her
:li
kewhatRed
Shel
aughed.
 
Me:
ohGod!Thi
schi
l
d.Imeannosexki
d
Her
:fi
ne
Me:I
’m ser
ious.Wedon’
tneedy
ouget
ti
ng
pr
egnantnow
Shel
aughed
Her
:what
everRed….What
’sup?
Me:
Imi
ssy
ou
Her
:wher
e’sMi
so?
Me:
hisf
atherwasshotsonowhe’
svi
sit
inghi
m
Her
:that
’ssad.Howbadi
she?
Me:Ihaven’
tcheckeduponhi
myet
.Fi
gur
edhe
needsti
mewi t
hfamily
 
Her:
that’
sthought
ful
ofy ou.Al
soexpl
ainswhy
youcal
ledmecausey ourmanainther
e
Me:
whydoy
ougot
taanal
yseev
ery
thi
ng?
Her
:becauseIwasbor
ntobeananal
yst
Me:whatever
.Li
stent
her
e’ssomeoneatt
he
door
,Ihavetogo
Her
:real
l
ynow?
Me:
yesact
ual
l
yther
eisaknock
Isaidwalkingtothedoor .Iopenedthedoor
andMi sowasst andingont heothersideofit.
Hewasy ummy …asusual .Helookedfreshli
ke
someonewhohadj usttakenashowerandhe
waswear ingav estthatshowedof fhi
st at
toos
withloosejoggerswi t
hawhi tesneaker.
Hi
m:hey
Me:
sunshi
neIhav
etogo
Her
:tel
lMi
soIsai
dHi
Me:
shesay
shi
Hewav
edandIdr
oppedt
hecal
l
*
**EndOfPC*
**
Ibi
tmyl
owerl
i
p.GodDamnhewassexy
Hi
m:whatt
imei
syourcl
ass?
Me:
inhal
fanhour
Henoddedandwal
kedi
nwhil
eIcl
osedt
he
doorandf
oll
owedhi
minsi
de
Me:
howi
syourf
ather
?
Hi
m: hasn’
twokenupy
et.Hehasabul
l
etst
uck
i
nhisspinalcor
d
Me:
I’
m sor
ry 
Hi
m:y
eah 
Me:
whyar
en’
tyouatt
hehospi
tal
?
Hi
m:Ij
ustneededtogetawayf
orami
nut
eor
t
wo.I
t’
sdepressi
nginther
e
Me:
ofcause.Soy
ouf
igur
edy
ou’
dcomesee
mehuh?
Hegav
ethatsi
desmi
lemaki
ngmyi
nsi
des
t
rembl
eandmykneesweak
Hi
m:Il
i
kewher
eyourmi
ndsat
Hesai
dpul
l
ingmywai
stcl
osert
ohi
m 
Me:
I’
m dr
ained
Hi
m:y
ousur
e
Hesai
dkissi
ngmyneck.Heknowshowweak
t
hatmakesme
Me:
mmmh
Hi
m:her
eort
hel
ounge
Me:
her
e!
Hepi
ckedmeupandputmeonthecount
er
maki
ngmyski
rtgoupandst
oodbet
weenmy
l
egs
Hi
m:heybeaut
if
ul 
Me:
heyhandsome
Hi
m:st
il
lasbeaut
if
ul
Me:
andy
oust
il
lashands…
Imoanedashewaspl
ayi
ngwi
thnooki
e. 
Hi
m:f
uck!
Hesaidki
ssi
ngmyneckandundoi
ngmy
but
tons
Me:
youknowIhav
etogett
ocl
assr
ight
?
Hi
m:Iknow
Hepul l
eddownmyunder wearstil
lkissi
ngmy
neckwhi l
eIundi dhispant sandhel pedhi m pul
l
them down.Ist i
llhadthei udinsert
ed.Ipul l
ed
hisfacetomi neandki ssedhi m becauseat
l
eastwi t
hhi sl i
psI ’
m distr
actedf r
om thinking
aboutthepai nbet weenmyl egs.Ev ersi
nceI
start
edexer cisingitsli
keMi so’sdickgets
biggereveryt i
me.Thepai nbet weenmyl egsis
neveroneIgetusedt oev enifwehav esext wo
daysinar owi t
’sstil
lpainful
.Hepul ledoutand
walkedoutt omybat hr
oom andcameback
withatowel andwi pedmet here
Me:
I’
ll
nev
ergetusedt
oyou
Hechuckl
ed
Hi
m:Bessmenar
epackedhoney
Il
aughed
Me:
let
’snotgetabi
gheadnow
Hi
m:I
’
mjustsay
ingbabe.I
UDst
il
li
npl
ace?
Me:
yeahst
il
lgood
Hi
m:wedon’
twanty
ouf
all
i
ngpr
egnantnow
Me:
Iwoul
dn’
taf
for
dababy
Hechuckl
edandkissedmyforeheadand
pi
ckedmeuptomyr oom wi
thmyl egswr
apped
ar
oundhiswai
st.
 
Me:
don’
tdr
opme
Hi
m:whenhav
eIev
er?
Me:
your
eal
l
ywannagot
her
e?
Webot hlaughed.Atleasthewasl
aughingso
thatwasgoodr ight
?Wehadaqui ckshower
andthenhedr ovemet oclasswhi
leheheaded
tothehospital
.Hesaidhewouldkeepme
posted.
.
.
[
05/
10,09:
22]Ron:
**THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#26
.
.
Mybr otherwasintownandheact uall
ycall
ed
met oaskmeoutf orlunch.Iwonderwhat
that’
saboutbecauseniggadoesn’ tcal
llet
alonetextmeorwhat ever.Hejustplaysfar
from meev ersi
ncethatinci
dentandIdon’ tget
i
tatall.Isatdownandhesatdownopposi te
me
Hi
m:howar
eyouandhow’
sthei
nter
nshi
p?
Me:
I’
m goodandsoi
sthei
nter
nshi
p.You?
Hi
m:al
li
sgood.Li
stenIneedhel
p
Me:
wit
h?
Him:mom’sbi
rt
hdayiscomingupi
naf
ewday
s
andIwashopi
ngthatyoucoul
dhel
pmepl
ani
t
Me:
oh
Hi
m:y
oui
n?
Me:
she’
smymot
her
.OfcauseI
’
min
Him:gr
eat
.SoI’v
ebeent
alki
ngtoafew
cat
erer
sandtheymadeafewsuggest
ions
Hesai
dhandi
ngmeaf
il
e
Me:shouldn’
twebedi
scussi
ngt
hiswi
thCr
aig
andSel?
Him:Cr
aigsai
dhewill
payf
orev
ery
thi
ngand
Seli
sbusywit
hschool
Me:What’
sthisreall
yaboutYonda?Younever
l
ikedmefrom thegetgoandthensuddenl
yy ou
wantustoorganiseLal
a’
sbirt
hdaypart
y
t
ogether
? 
Hi
m:I
’
mtr
yingt
omakeupf
orl
ostt
imesok.
 
Me:
WhynowYonda?Youwant
ednot
hingt
odo
wi
thmeandt
hensuddenl
yyoupl
ayi
ngni
ce
Him: Idon’
tknowwhaty
ouwantmet
osay
Yolanda
Me:anexpl
anat
ionmay
be…t
hatwoul
dbea
goodst
art
Him:f
ineIthoughtyoubeingaroundwould
makemom l ovemel essandthatsi
nceyou
herey
ou’dstealal
ltheatt
enti
on
Ichuckl
ed 
Me:
that
’schi
l
dish
Him:y
eahIknow.nowthatthat’
soutoftheway
canwecont
inuewit
htherealreasonI
’m her
e
Me:
sur
ewhynot
Wef ini
sheddiscussi
ngi deasandhesai dhe
woul drunt
hem pastCr aigandSelandt henget
backt ome.Whenwewer edoneIwentbackt o
wor kandhewentbackabouthi sbusiness.
WhenIgott owor kEsterwassitti
ngint he
recepti
onarea,mymoodi mmedi at
elywent
fr
om a100t oa-1.Iwalkedtowar
dsthe
el
ev at
orsandsheshoutedformynameand
grabbedmyar m.Il
ookedatherhandonmy
wristandbackather
Her
:Yol
andapl
ease
Me:
letgoofme
Her
:Lal
apl
ease
Me:
remov
eyourhandbef
oreIcal
lsecur
it
y
Shel
etgoofme
Me:nowpl
easel
eav
e.Iwantnot
hingt
odowi
th
you
Her
:Yol
andaI
’
m si
ck
Me:
goodf
ory
ou
Iwal
kedinsi
detheelevatorandclosedt he
door
sinherface.Iwassoangr yallofasudden.
Thi
swomanmademyl if
eal i
vinghellandt hen
shethi
nksshecanplaythe“ I
’
m sick”car don
meandexpectthingsbetweenust obef i
ne?
Noway s.Itdoesn’
tworkli
kethatnoti
nt hi
sday
andage.Igotupstair
sandwentt othe
rest
room tofixmyfaceandalsocallMiso.
Haven’theardfr
om him si
nceyest
erday.
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:But
ter
cup
Me:
Bubbl
es
Hi
m:y
ouok?
Me:
Ishoul
dbeaski
ngy
ou.How’
syourdad?
Hi
m: hewokeupandy
oucani
magi
nehow
t
hingsar
e
Me:
Ninoknows?
Hi
m:yepandshe’
snothappy
.Al
lhel
lbr
oke
l
oose
Me:
I’
m sor
ry
Hi
m:yeahIdon’
tknowwhatIwasexpect
ing
f
rom t
hem
Me:
babe
Hi
m:y
eah
Me: wouldbesobadf ory outodot heI Tthing
asasi dehustlewhil
ey oubusywi thyourLS?
Hearmeout .Youknowy ourparents, Iknow
yourparentsandaftersomanyy earsi nschool
withthem payingcash.Theywon’ tletyoudo
thi
sITy ouwantsobadl y
Hi
m:f
ineBut
ter
cup
Me:
thanky
ou
Hi
m:sowhat
’sgoi
ngonwi
thy
ou?
Me:
not
hing
Hi
m:t
rysomet
hingel
se.Whathappened?
Me:
Est
erwasher
eori
sst
il
lher
e.Idon’
tknow
Him:andyoudon’
twantt
oatl
eastknowwhat
shewantstosay
Ishookmyheadasifhecoul
dseeme.he
chuckl
edt
hatlazyl
aughofhi
s
Hi
m:di
dyouj
ustshakey
ourhead?
Me:
yes
Hi
m:t
hisgi
rl
.Sowhatdi
dshewant
?
Me:Idon’
tknow.shej
ustment
ionedshewas
si
ckthat
’sal
l
Hi
m:babe
Me:Iknowwhatyougoi
ngtosayandno.Iam
notgoi
ngtol
i
stentowhatev
ershehastosay
Hi
m:f
ine.I
’
lll
ety
oubef
ornow
Me:
justl
etmebe.By
ebabeIhav
etogetback
t
owork
Hi
m:okBut
ter
cup.Il
ovey
ou
Me:
lov
eyout
oo
*
**EndofPC*
**
TheMasonf amilywassomewhatagai nstmy
rel
ati
onshi
pwithMi sobecausehe’sblack.Well
mom anddad, Yondaisjust…Idon’
tknow, he
doesn’
tcaremay beandlit
tl
ebrowasmor e
thanhappytomeett hemani nmylif
ebutt hey
havecomet oacceptthatIlovehim andIwon’t
endthi
ngsbecauseoft hem asIam r esponsi
ble
formyownhappi ness.Igotat extf
rom Miso
sayi
nghewoul dcomeov ertomypl acelat
eron.
Iwentbacktowor kanditwasok.Knockof f
ti
mecameandwhenIgott omydoorwi thmy
bott
leofsweetwhitewinel i
tt
lesist
erwas
wait
ingforme
Her
:hey
Me:
hi
Iunl
ockedandwal
kedi
nandhel
dthedoor
openforhert
owal
kin.
Me:
towhatdoIowet
hisv
isi
t?
Her
:youknowwhyI
’
m her
e
Me:
Iwoul
dn’
tbeaski
ngi
fIknewI
vy
Her:
mom camet
oseey
ouandy
oubr
ushedher
of
f
Ichuckl
ed
Me:
Ihav
epl
ans…i
fyoudon’
tmi
nd
Her
:Landashe’
ssi
ck
Me:
goodf
orher
Her
:Landacomeon.Shehaswombcancer
Me:fi
nebyme.I
fyoudon’
tmi
ndIneedt
o
showerMi
sowil
lbeher
e 
Her:soyouwoul
dchoosetowineanddi
newit
h
yourboyf
ri
endwhil
eyourmot
herissi
ckand
needstr
eatment
Me:
you’
l
lseey
our
sel
fout
Isaidwal kingtomyr oom becausehadIst ayed
andl i
stenedorr espondedt oherIwouldhave
saidshiitthatwasgoi ngtoendourrelati
onship.
Itookof fmycl othesandputonabl ackandr ed
si
lkgownandt i
edmyhai rupandworemy
sl
eeper sandwal kedtothekit
chentopour
my selfaglassofwi ne,shewasgoneal ready.I
pouredmygl assandasIwasaboutt owal k
backt herewasaknock.Iwentt oopenand
Mi
sowascarr
yingpaperbagswi
thf
ood,
Ifound
my
sel
fsmil
ingandsodidhe.
Hi
m: whenyouopenthedoorlooki
ngli
kethi
s
I
’mtemptedtohavey
ouwhat everwayIwantto
Igi
ggl edathowhi sey eswerefi
ll
edwith
nothingbutlust.Itookonepaperbagand
ki
ssedhi m andt henwentt oputi
tonthetable.I
wasaboutt ot urnwhenIf el
thim st
andi
ngright
behindmebr eat hi
ngdownonmyneckandhi s
handsunt yi
ngmyr obe
Hi
m:hel
l
osexy
Hesai
drubbi
ngmyboobsmaki
ngmewet
i
nst
antl
y
Me:
hi….
Myvoicecameoutasawhi sper .Hehadme
f
rom behindonthekit
chencount erandthenwe
wenttotakeabathtogether.Iwasbet weenhis
l
egsandhi shandwaspl ayi
ngwi t
hmycl i
tas
wewer echatt
ingabouteachot her’sday
.
Me: Yayashoul
dthankmef
orknocki
ngsome
senseintoyou
Hechuckl
edandstuckaf
ingermaki
ngme
scr
eam andhel
aughed
Me:
OUCH!
Hi
m: choosey
ourwor
dswi
sel
ywhenmyhand
i
sthere
Me:
fucky
ou!Thatwaspai
nful
Hi
m:I
’
m sor
ry
Hesai
dki
ssi
ngmyneck
Hi
m:I
’
mreal
l
ysor
ry
Het
racedwetki
ssest
omyshoul
der
Me:
don’
tdot
hatagai
n
Hi
m:I
’
llwar
nyounextt
imeok
Hebitmeonmyshoul
derbuti
twasagood
sensat
ion
Hi
m:soy
ounotr
eadyt
otal
ktoEst
er?
Ishookmyhead
Me:maybeifthi
ngshadgonedi f
fer
ent
lyI
’d
wanttohearheroutbutt
heydidn’
tandnow
she’
susinghersi
cknesstogettome
Him:Iheary
oubutwoul
ditbesobadi
fyou
hear
dherout
Me:Ij
ustdon’
twanttohearshi
i
tfr
om herMi
so.
Canwejustdr
opitnow?
Hi
m:sur
e
Hi
shandwasmassagi
ngmyboobsdoi
ngt
he
t
hings
Hi
m:l
et’
sgetoutofher
e
Me:
sur
e
Wegotoutandwehel peddr yeachotherwent
tol
oti
oneachotherandt henIworehist-shi
rt
andheworemysweat pant sandthenwewent
tomakesomethingtoeatf ort
hebothofus.We
j
ustsatandwatchedmov i
es.Myphoner ang
andi
twasmommydear est
*
**PC*
**
Me:
MrsMason
Her
:soIshoul
dgi
veupont
hemom t
hing?
Me:
yep.Sowhat
’sup?
Her:
I’
mjustchecki
nguponmydaught
ert
hat
’s
al
l
Me:
real
l
ynow?
Her
:st
opbei
ngsuspi
cious
Me: t
hingiswespokeear
li
eronandthen
suddenlyyoucal
l
ingmenow…y ousureI
vy
didn’
tcall
you?
Her
:okshedi
d
Me:
thoughtasmuch
Her
:I’
m notsay
ingf
orgi
veher
,justhearherout
Me:
andt
henwhat
? 
Her
:Idon’
tknow.t
akei
tfr
om t
her
e
Me:
hav
eyouhear
dherout
?lastt
imeIchecked
y
ouwantednot
hingt
odowi
thher
.youdi
dn’
t
t
alkt
oIv
yforamonth 
Her
:I…
Me:
exact
lyLal
a.Let
’sl
ett
hisgook
Her
:fi
ne.Atl
eastdoi
tforI
vy
Me:
eyMal
et’
sjustdr
opt
hisok
Her
:okby
ebaby
.Il
ovey
ou
Me:
byeLal
a
*
**EndofPC*
**
Idon’
tknowwhenIf el
lasl
eepbutwhenIwokeI
wasinbedwi t
hMi so’sar
mscagingmetight
ly.
Itwascutehowpossessi v
ehecangetevenin
hissl
eep.Ij
ustplantedakissonhi
sli
psand
wentbacktosleep. 
Thingsweregood,theywerenormal f
orthe
nextcoupleofdaysandtherestoftheweeks
thatfol
l
owed.It’
sbeen4mont hsnowsi ncemy
encounterwit
hEsterandsheev enhasmy
numbernowandshewon’ tstopcal li
ngmeand
Iknowherdaught eristheonet hatgav ehermy
number .Ihadj ustgr aduatedandt heythrewa
partyformeandi twasAWESOME.Mom’ s
partywentwel ltooandYonda’ sgr aduationwas
i
nt woday s’ti
me.Iwasi nNewYor kbecause
that’swherehi spar t
ywasgoi ngt obehel d
any way.MisoandIwer egood, hisfatherwas
attendi
ngphy si oandl uckyhimt herewasa
chancet hathecoul dwal ksomedaywhi chwas
hellaawesomenews.Lat elyI’
vebeenf eeli
nga
l
itt
leundert heweat her,bythatImeanI ’
vebeen
moody ,snappi ngatany oneorany body,didn’ t
eatmuchandj ustlostal otofwei ght.Ithinki ts
stressorsomet hing.atwor kIwasnol ongeran
i
nter nwhichwasgr eat ,
Iwasonpr obation.I fI
dowel lthenToby ’
sjobwasgoi ngt obemi ne
becausehewasnol ongergoi ngt owor kf or
thatcompany .hewast oningt hingsdownf or
himselfsot hathedoesn’ thaveal otofwor kto
dot hatheendsupnothav ingal if
e.Ihadj ust
fi
nishedpukingt
hefrui
tsaladIhadfor
breakfastwhenYondawalkedint
otheguest
bathroom
Hi
m:y
ouok?
Me:It
hinkImusthav
eeat
enexpi
redf
rui
tor
somet
hing
Him:Iboughtt
hatfr
uitanhouragowhenIgot
outofgym.Youpregnantsi
s
[
05/10,09:
22]Ron:
ifeI
nSandy
'sAngl
e-by
SandyGxaba

*
**THELI
FEINEVERI
MAGI
NED*
**
#27
.
.
Iri
nsedmymouthandthenspi
tthewat
erout
andwipedmymouthbefor
eatt
endingt
ohim.
Twinhadtobehi
ghonsomethi
ng.Iam not
pr
egnant.Ican’
tpossi
blybeanyway.I
’m onl
y
19forheaven’
ssakeandImi ghtbehi
redto
workpermanentl
yshouldIdomyj obwell
.
Pregnancyi
sthelastt
hingonmymi ndnow.
Me:
I’
m notpr
egnant
Isai
dlaughi
ng
Me:
Ihav
eal
oop
Hi
m:nocont
racept
ivei
s100%si
s
Me:
evensobutt
heI
UDi
ssaf
e
Hi
m:atl
eastt
akeat
estandsee
Me:
justt
ogety
ouof
fmycaseI
’
llt
akeat
est
Hi
m:comewi
thme
Il
ookedathi
m andt
henl
ookedhi
shand
Hi
m:come
Me:
wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
Hi
m:t
oyourr
oom.Ial
readyboughty
ouat
est
Il
ookedathi
m st
unned.Whatdi
dhemean?
Me:
huh?
Him:Whenmom waspr egnantwithSelshel
ost
weightandhadthesesi
cknessesbefor
eshe
gai
nedwei ght
Me:
butI
’
m notpr
egnant
Hi
m:j
ustt
aket
het
est
Wewal kedintomyr oom anditwasi
napaper
bagont opofmybed.Iwentt omybathr
oom
andtookt hetestandthenhesetanal
armfor5
minutes.Thatwaspr obabl
ythemostl
ongest5
minutesofmyl if
e.
Hi
m:sowhathappensi
fyoupr
egnant
?
Me:
Idon’
tknow
Hi
m:I
’
llsuppor
tyouwhat
everdeci
siony
out
ake
Thealar
mr angandwel ookedateachot her
.
Tear
swer ealr
eadythreateni
ng; Iwasshi
i
t
scar
ed.Mom won’ tt
aket hi
slyingdown.she
won’
tacceptthingsj
ustlikethat.Yondat
ook
thet
estandlookedatit.Icouldn’tr
eadhi
s
expr
essi
on
Hi
m:I
’
m sor
rysi
s
Il
ookedathim andheshrugged.Ij
ustknewI
waspreggi
es.Tearsr
oll
eddowni nvol
untar
y.He
pul
ledmetohisarmsandl etmecry
Me:
howf
ar?
Hi
m:i
tswr
it
ten15weeks
Icri
edev enmor e.How?Iwasont hel oop
though.Hel etmecr y
.WhenIwokeupIwasi n
bedandt hewasasmal l blanketov erme.I
l
ookedf ormyphoneandi twaspast2al r
eady,
I
hadbeensl eepingforabout3hour sst rai
ght
.I
hadadozenmi ssedcalls,that’
sthet hingabout
Miso,whenev erIwasn’taroundhecal ledalot
thanhenor mallydi
d.Ical l
edhi m back
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:But
ter
cup
Me:
hey
Hi
m:wer
eyousl
eepi
ng?
Me:
Ijustwor
kup
Hi
m:y
ousl
eepal
otl
atel
y
Me:
yeahIgett
ir
edal
otl
atel
y
Hi
m:y
ousur
eit
’sj
ustt
hat
?
Ijustkeptqui
etastearsmadetheirwaydown
tomypi ll
ow.Icoul
dn’thol
dthem back.Fi
ndi
ng
outthatyoupregnantatsuchanageis
fr
ustrati
ng,i
tsstr
essfulev
en
Hi
m:But
ter
cupt
alkt
omepl
ease
Istil
ldi
dn’
trespond.Ikeptt
hinki
ngaboutwhat
Candicewouldsay.Asmuchasi tmayseem
l
ikeIdon’tcar
eorwhat soeverbutIdoval
ue
whatshesay sandI’m notr
eadytoseeher
disappoi
ntmentinme. 
Hi
m:But
ter
cuppl
easesaysomet
hing
Icoul
dheartheconcer
ninhisvoi
ce.Hewas
worri
ed.Ij
ustdr
oppedthecall
*
**EndofPC*
**
Itookapictur
eofthet estandsentitt
ohim as
anMMSandhecal l
edinstant
lybutIcoul
dn’
t
answerhi
scal l
.Icouldn’
tletmysel
fanswerhim.
Igotuptowashmyf aceandt henwent
downstai
rs.Mom andSel wer
esitt
ingint
he
l
oungewithYondapr essinghisphone
Me:
hey
Mom:
heysl
eepyhead
Isatnexttomom andsnuggl edmy sel
funder
herarm.Yondaey edmeandt henbacktohis
phone.Justthenhisphonerang…knowi ngmy
boyfr
iend,heprobabl
yhadYonda’ snumber
becausetheygotalonginthesefourmont hsor
hehackedmyst uf
fandtookhi snumber.Yes,
hewasst udyingandlear
ninghowt ohackf r
om
hissi
ster’
sfiancéandhewasgoodati t
.
Mom:
youok?
Me:
Ijustmi
ssbei
ngamama’
sbaby
Shechuckl
edandr
ubbedmyar
m
Her
:that
’scut
e
Me:
whenar
eyougoi
ngt
oMi
l
an?
Her
:nextmont
h
Yondawast al
kingont hephoneandI’
m certai
n
hewast al
ki
ngtoMi sobecausehewoul dlook
atmeev er
ynowandt hen,Ipl
eadedwit
hmy
eyesnottogiv
emet hephone.Iwoul
dt al
kto
theguylat
er
Her
:why
?Doy
ouwantt
ojoi
nme?
Me:
I’
dlov
etobutIhav
ewor
k
Her
:nextt
imet
hen
Me:
yeahnextt
ime
Her
:youok?
Me:
yeahI
’
mfi
neMah
Shedidn’
trespond.Yondasai
dhisgoodby
es
andthenhandedmehi sphoneandhewasbusy
chat
tingwit
hMi so.
Mom:
andt
hen?
Me:
what
?
Her:si
ncewhendoy
out
wol
oaneachot
her
phones?
Me:
minei
sinmyr
oom Lal
a
Shedi dn’tsayany t
hingfurt
her .Misowas
askingaboutwhatwegoi ngt odof r
om her e
andIt oldhim wewoul dtal
kpr operwhenIwas
backandhet oldmehewoul dcall mel aterthen
Ishouldt exthi
m whenI ’
mr eadytot alkandI
didn’trespondinsteadIreturnedt hephone
backt oitsowner .Iwatchedt vwitht hefami ly
andt henwehadsupperandt henl aterwentt o
bed.Mom wal kedi nasIwaschangi ngi ntomy
pjaysbutIwasst andinginfrontoft hemi r
ror
tr
y i
ngt oseeiftherewer eanychangesi nmy
bodyandIcoul dn’tseeany
Her
:Yol
andat
alkt
ome
Me:
about
?
Isai
dwear
ingmypj
ays
Her:I
’m notst
upi
dnoram Ibl
i
ndt
owhat
happensundermyroof
Il
ookedatherconf
used
Her
:tomor
rowwegoi
ngout
.wakeupandwash
Inoddedandt
henshewal
kedout
.Igotinsi
de
thecover
sandcal
l
edMisowhoansweredsame
ti
me
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:But
ter
cup
Me:
hey
Hi
m:y
ouhadmewor
ri
edt
her
e
Me:
whatam Igoi
ngt
odowi
thababyMi
so?
Him:Idon’
tknowbutall
Iknowisthatit
’sour
babyandIwil
lbether
ewithyouev
er ystepof
thewayButt
ercup
Me:
howar
eyousocal
m wi
thev
ery
thi
ng?
Him:becauseit
’snousepanickingovernot
hing.
Youpregnantandthat
’snotgoingtochange
Me:butIdon’
twantababy
.I’
m onl
y19,
I’
m not
r
eadytobeamot her
Him:andI’
m notreadyt
obeaf atherbutwe’
l
l
makedoBut t
ercup.Thi
sbabychangesnothi
ng
abouthowIfeelaboutyouandher
Me:
whati
fit
’sahe
Hi
m:nahi
t’
saher
.Ij
ustknowi
t’
saher
Me:
what
ever
Him:she’l
ll
ookli
keherbeaut
if
ulmotherand
havethatcut
eredhai
randsmal l
nose
Ichuckl
ed.Mi
sowasbei
ngcr
azy
Hi
m:shel
aughs
Me:
I’
m scar
ed
Hi
m:we’
l
lfi
gur
ethi
ngsout
Me:
ok
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo
Hi
m:goodni
ghtBut
ter
cup
Me:
night
*
**EndofPC*
**
Thenextmorni
ng,Iwokeupataround7and
showeredandworemypjaysandwenttomake
somethingt
oeat.Mom wal
kedinasIwas
eati
ng
Her
:mor
ning
Me:
mor
ning
Ther
ewassi
lenceandonl
ybowl
sandspoons
maki
ngnoi
se.
Her
:soy
oust
il
ldon’
twantt
otal
ktome?
Me:
about
?
Her
:okf
inet
hen.
Justt
henCr
aigandSel
wal
kedi
nlaughi
ng.
Theygr
eet
edandwentbackt
othei
rdebat
e
Mom:
fini
shupsowecanl
eav
e
Inoddedandwentt owashmydi shandher s
andt henwentupt omyr oom.Thi swasgoi ng
tobehel l
.Iwaspl anni ngonl eavi
ngst raight
afterthegr aduati
onpar tybutIdoubtI ’l
l l
eav e
now.Sowewentt ot hedoct orandt hedoc
confirmedt hatI’
mi ndeed3mont hsandaf ew
weekspr eggiesandIf ellpregnantbecause
seemsl i
keIf or
gott ogof ormycheckupt hree
mont hsbackandsoi tshi ft
edorsomet hingbut
mypr egnancywasokasl ongasIst ayaway
fr
om st ressorsorany thingt hatraisesmy
pressur ehighbutei thert hant hatmybabywas
healthy.Mom wasqui etal lthewayhomeandI
wast ext i
ngwi t
hMi sot elli
nghi m whatwent
down
Her
:wantany
thi
ngt
oeat
?
Me:
not
hanks
Her
:youhav
etoeatsomet
hingYol
anda.You
eat
ingf
ort
wonow
Me:
I’
mreal
l
ynothungr
yMom
Shenoddedandpassedbyatsomebur ger
shopandboughtbur germeal
sandthenwe
drovehome.Whenwegothomesheheaded
strai
ghtt
oherroom andherhusbandfoll
owed
her.Iwasshockedtof i
ndhi
m homeseeing
howhei shardl
yaround. 
Yonda:
and?
Me:
it’
sbeenconf
ir
med
Hi
m:I
’
m sor
ry
Me:
yeahmet
oo
Hi
m: she’l
lcomearound,
she’
sjust
di
sappointedt
hat
’sall
Me:
Ihat
emy
sel
ffort
his
Him:atl
easty
ougett
ingpai
dsothatshould
countf
orsomethi
ngandMiso’
smoney ed
Me:
Idon’
twantMi
so’
smoneyandIdon’
twant
t
obedependentonhi
mfort
his.
Hi
m:sowhatnow?
Me:Ihav
enoi
dea.Ij
ustwantt
ocr
ymy
sel
fto
deat
h
Hi
m:pi
tyi
tdoesn’
twor
kli
ket
hat
Me:Iwi
shitdi
dcausethenIwoul
dn’
thav
eto
deal
wit
hthiswhenIwakeup
Iwal
kedouttomyroom cal
li
ngMiso.Ineeded
himtof
eelever
ythi
ngIwasfeel
ingatthi
s
moment.Idi
dn’
tmakethisbabyal
oneafteral
l
.
Heansweredaf
terawhil
e…whenIwasabout
togi
veupeven.
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:heyBut
ter
cup.Sor
ryIwasdr
ivi
ng
Me:
itsok
Hi
m:howar
eyout
oday
?
Me:
Ijustsenty
ouapi
ctur
eoft
hesonar
Hi
m:cool
I’
ll
checki
toutwhenIgethome
Me:
goi
ngt
oYay
a’s?
Hi
m:y
ep.Got
tat
ell
her
Me:
can’
tweatl
eastwai
tbef
orewet
ell
her
?
Hi
m: she’
sgoi
ngtofindoutonewayort
he
ot
herandIrat
hershefi
ndsoutthi
sway
Me:
she’
sgoi
ngt
ohat
eme
Hi
m:she’
ll
nev
erhat
eyou.I
’
mjusthopi
ngshe
won’
tdi
sownme
Me:yeah.Ayawi
ll
probabl
ysayI
’
mtr
yingt
otr
ap
youwithababy
Him:arghnev
ermindAya.I
’
m sorr
yBut
ter
cup,
I
knowyouprobabl
yhat
emeorbl amemeand
I’
m sor
ry
Me:it
’snotyourf
aul
t.Ishoul
dhav
ebeenmor
e
car
efult
hat’
sall
Hi
m:y
ouok?
Me:
Iwi
l
lbe
Mom wal
kedi
nandsatont
hebed
Me:
Bubbl
esIhav
etogo
Hi
m:I
’
m guessi
ngt
hat
’smom
Me:
yep.By
e
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ouok
Me:
ok
*
**EndofPC*
**
Shewassi
tt
ingattheedgeoft
hebedwhi
l
eI
satont
heothersi
de.
 
Her:Iam sodisappoint
edinyouYol andaIdon’
t
evenknowwhatt osay.MaybeifIwasmor e
presentinyourli
fethi
ngswouldn’thavetur
ned
outthewayt heydidnow.Idon’tknow.May be
becausey oustart
edhavingsexatanear l
yage
youthoughtthatsexwi t
houtpr
otectionwasok
wheni t
’snot
Igaveheral
ook.NowIknowIwaswr ongfor
havi
ngsexwithoutprotect
ionwit
hMi sowhi ch
wasmychoicebutf orhertousemypast
agai
nstme?thatIcannotaccept.I
’m sorrybut
that
’sshader
ightt
her
e.Unnecessar
yshade
even
Her
:Lal
aIdi
…
Me:
I’
ll
leav
eyourhousei
npeace.
Igotupandwentt
omycl
oset
Her
:Lal
apl
ease
Me: IunderstandthatImessedup.Hav ingsex
withoutacondom wasmychoi ceanditwasmy
mistakeandI ’m payi
ngforitwithanunwanted
andunpl annedbabybutf oryout ousewhatI
wentt hr
oughasanexcuseofmef al
li
ng
pregnant?That ’
slowCandiceev enforyou.I
’l
l
beoutofy ourhousebeforetheendoft oday
Her:
YolandaIdon’
twantyoutoleave.pl
ease
don’
tleav
eandletsj
ustt
alkaboutthis
Me: t
here’
snothi
ngtotal
kabout.I
’
m pregnant
becauseinmymi ndIbel
i
evethati
tsoktohave
sexwithoutpr
otect
ion
Ihadn’
tst
oppedpacki
ng
Her: thatismygr andchi
ldy ouar ecarryingandI
won’ tletyoul eav eherewi t
hhi m orher .Iknow
myappr oachwaswr ongbecauseIwasnev er
tr
ainedf orsuchmy sel
fseeingt hatIfell
pregnantatar oundy ourageandIdi dn’thavea
mot hert ogui demeorgi vemeat alkor
what soev er.Lal aI’
m sorryforwhatIsai dbutI
won’ tapol ogisef orevery
thingel se.I’
my our
mot herandt his, t
hiswast helastt hi
ngI
expect edf rom y ouandIwon’ tapplaudy oufor
getti
ngy oursel fknockedup.Thebabyi sher e,
nowwhat ’
st henextst ep?DoesMi soknow?
Me:yes,
heknowsandhe’
swi
l
li
ngt
otake
r
esponsi
bil
i
ty
Her:okthat
’sgoodbutIcannothaveyou
dependi
ngonhi m.Yousti
llneedtoworkand
haveyourownt hi
ngsandbeabletotakecar
e
ofyourchil
d
Me:
Iheary
ou
Her
:good.Andwor
k?Wonty
oul
osey
our
i
nter
nshi
p?
Me:Imight.Oneoft hetermsinthecont
ract
wasthatIdon’tgetpregnantbef
oreI’
m
per
manent
Her:wel
lyoumightshowl ater
.Soyoucan
conti
nueworki
nguntilot
herwise.You’
llhav
eto
tal
ktoyourbossthoughjustsothattheyare
abl
et of
indarepl
acementf oryou
Me:
ok
Her:youcanalwayscomeandworkformeor
Crai
gifevert
hingsdon’
tworkoutwher
eyou
ar
enow
Me:
I’
m notmov
ingt
oNewYor
k
Her:
I’
m notaski
ngy
ouYolanda.Youpr
egnant
andIwouldl
iket
ohavey
oucl oseby
Me:andwhataboutMi
so?He’
smychild’
s
f
athershoul
dn’
thehav
easayinwhathappens
wi
thhischil
d?
Her
:whowi
l
ltakecar
eofy
oui
nLAYol
anda?
Me:I
’v
ebeendoingfi
neall
thesey
ear
sinLA.I
wi
ll
sti
llbef
ineevenwit
habell
y
Her
:fi
ne.Bel
i
ket
hat
Me: Idon’tasky ouforany thi
ng.Ihavenever
askedy ouforany thingthusfarbutpleaselet
mel i
vemyl i
feasIwasl ivi
ngitbeforeyou
camei ntothepict ur
e.Iloveandr especty
ou
andIknowI ’
vedi sappoint
edy ouinthewor st
waybutIwon’ tbey ourprisonerandIwon’tli
ve
tober emindedt hatI’m adisappoint
menttoy ou
andy ourhusbandmom.I ’m sorr
ybutthat’
sjust
meandt hewayI ’
m am.
Her
:okf
ine
Me:
thanky
ou
Shelookedatmeonceandt hengotupandl eft
.
Call
mewhat evernamey oufeel l
i
kecall
ingme
butsherui
nedthingst hemomentshebr ought
upthewayIgrewup.Idi dn’
taskt oberapedat
10yearsoldandInev eraskedtobeasexsl av
e
tooldmen.AsforMi soandI ,IthoughtIhadit
coveredbutmist akesdohappenandatt he
ti
met herewast hatissuewithEsterandIf or
got
aboutmycheckupandBJ( Bubbles/But
tercup
Junior)wasther esul
tofmyf orgetful
ness.It
happensandIwi ll
lovehim orhernomat ter
whatt hesi
tuat
ioni s.
.
[
05/
10,09:
22]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#28
.
.
SoIt oldmybosst hatIwaspr eggi
esandtomy
surprisehewascool wi t
hitandhesaidIcoul
d
continuewithmyjobandIgothi r
ed
permanent l
y.Coul
dl i
fegetanybet t
er?My
brother’
spartywasgr eatandheandIwer e
cl
osert hanever,
mustbet hebabygrowing
i
nsideofme.Mom cal ledmeev erydayto
checkonhergr andchildandt omakesur ethatI
wasn’ tdepr essedorwhat soev er .Iwasnow8
mont hspr eggi esandMi so’ sfami l
ywasmor e
l
ov i
ngandwel comedmewi thopenar ms
exceptAy aofcause, likeIsai d, shesaidIwas
tryi
ngt otrapMi sowi thababyandwant edt he
Bessmoney .Misowasser iouswi thschool
becausenowhehadnochoi cebutt ofinishhis
studiesandgetawel l-pay ingj obandbeabl eto
takecar eofhi schild.Idi dn’tknowt hegender
yetandIdi dn’twantt oknowi t.Ihadgot ten
my selfwitht hehel pofmypar ent sa3-bedr oom
housei nani cenei ghbour hoodandast ayin
nanny .Yes, Iwaspr egnantbutIwasnotabout
tolivewi t
haboy fri
endnow.i tj ustr ui
nst hi
ngs
andI ’
m notr eadyf ortheconst antf i
ghti
ngand
stuffev enthoughwe’ vebeenar guingal ot
l
atel y
.Idon’ tknow, Ifeel li
kehe’ sdi st
antf r
om
me.i tsDecemberandsoonI ’l
l bel eavi
ngf or
Christmas.I v ywasher eandwewer esitti
ng
wat chingtvt oget her.
Her
:sohowdoesi
tfeel
bei
ngpr
egnant
?
Me:I’m enjoy
ingi
tactual
ly
.IthoughtI’dbe
depressedandhateitbutI’
ml ovingi
t.hav
ingt
o
feel
myl itt
leoneki
ck,it
sbeaut i
ful
Her
:Lal
a
Me:
yeah?
Her
:pl
easedon’
tbemad
Me:whenyoust
artasent
encel
i
ket
hatt
hen
bestbel
i
eveIwi
l
lbemad
Shepl
ayedwi
thherf
inger
s
Me:
Yvet
tewhat
’sgoi
ngon?
Her
:youneedanannyandEst
eri
sav
ail
abl
e
Ichuckl
ed.Shewasj oki
ngri
ght?t
hatwoman
fai
ledbei
ngamot hert
omeandher ,
what
makesherthinkthatshe’
sgoingt
obeagood
nannytomychi l
d?
Her
:hearmeoutpl
ease
Iwasl
ooki
ngatherwai
ti
ngf
oranexpl
anat
ion
orwhat
everbul
lthatwasgoi
ngt
ocomeoutof
hermouth
Her:
lookshe’
staki
nghermedsandtheChemo
i
swor ki
ngandshehaschangedfort
hebet
ter
Lal
a.Pleasej
ustgi
veherachance
Me:IvyI’
m pr
egnantandIdon’
twantt
opop
ear
ly.Pl
easeleavebef
oreIsaysomet
hingt
hat
wil
lrui
noursister
hood
Her
:Redcomeon
Me: NOYv ett
e.Thatwomani st hesour ceofmy
pain,shebrokeme, shemademedodespi cabl
e
thi
ngswi thmenol denought obemyf ather.
Shedi dn’
tgiv
eadamnhowt hatmademef eel
j
ustasl ongassheget spaidandwegett ohave
foodont hetable.Shewantedt opimpy ouout
Yvetteandbecauseofmeshedi dn’t.shewas
will
ingtosellherowndaught erj usttogetaf ew
bucksbutIbeggedhert ousemei nstead.I
can’tbeli
eveyouwantmet of orgivet hat
woman.Icannotbel i
evethaty ouwoul dwant
thatwomant obemychi l
d’snanny.Iwil
l di
e
beforeshegoesany wherenearmybaby .God
you’r
eunbeli
ev abl
ey ouknowthat?May beI
shouldhavejustletherdoasshepl easedwi t
h
youbecauset henmay beyouwoul dn’
tbet aki
ng
whatIwentthr oughforyousolightl
y.
 
Shewasnowi ntearsandIwasbr eat
hingso
heav i
lyIev enhadashar ppai ninmyhear t.I
feelli
keIshel teredYvet tesomucht oapoi nt
wher eshedoesn’ tunder standhowl i
fewor ks.
Shewoul dn’tbet heper sonshei snowhadInot
shelteredherandpr otect edherf rom herown
mot her.Ishoul dhavel etherbet henmay beshe
woul dn’tbespeaki ngliket his.somanyt i
mesI
havel etYvet t
ewal kallov ermebecauseshe’ s
youngert hanmeandIwant edhert ogr owup
diff
erent l
yfrom mebuti nsteaditmadehera
brat.
Her
:sot
hisi
showy
our
eal
l
yfeel
?
Me:
Iusedt
oaskmy
sel
fev
eryni
ghtwhyy
our
motherhat edmesomuchbecauseInev erdid
anythi
ngt ohernotev enonce.Sheusedy outo
gettome, sheknewIwoul dn’tletherdo
anythi
ngt oy ou.Sheknewt hatIwoul dspare
mylifefory ou.Doy ouknowt hatsheonce
thr
eatenedt ot akeyououtoft hatboarding
school?Didy ouknowt hatTobi ashadt opay
her200kj ustsoshecoul dleav eyouandIal one?
Ofcausey ouwoul dn’
tknowbecauset oy ou
yourmot herissi ckandhersi cknesssuddenl y
makesheranangel .
Her
:No.y
oul
yi
ng.Shewoul
dnev
er
Me: somanyni ghtsshethreatenedtousey ou
whenIcompl ai
nedaboutbei ngtir
edor
what soeverbutshealwaysknewi nt hebackof
hermi ndthatshewoul dneveruseherown
daught er
.Yout hi
nkIdon’tknowt hatlat
eron
whenshet houghtIwassleepingshewoul d
sneaki nt
oy ourroom andfeedy ouandt el
lyou
nottot el
lme?  
Sheshookherhead
Me:
pleasej
ustl
eav
e
Shewascr yinguncont rol
lablyandIhadaf ew
tear
sofmyown.Igotupandwentt omyr oom
andlockedmydoorandsatont hef l
oor.When
you’
v ehadenough, you’vehadenough.Iwas
star
tledbymyphoner i
ngingandIknewv ery
wellthatitwasei thermom orMi so’smom or
Misohi msel f
,theyaret heonest hatdon’ tstop
call
i
ngme.Idi dn’tmov eani nchandl itt
leone
couldn’tstopkicking.Ibur i
edmyf acei nmy
handsandj ustcri
ed, Icouldn’tdot hisanymor e,
I’
vebot tl
edupsomucht hatIjustcan’ tanymor e.
Inmycr y
ingIendedupsl eepingont hef l
oor
andwaswokenupbyMi sobangi ngonmydoor
sucht hatIhear dthekeyt ryi
ngt opushmykey
outoft hekeyhol e.Ididn’trespond
Hi
m:But
ter
cupopent
hisdoor
Ikeptst
il
l
Hi
m:BabyMamapl
easej
ustopen
Icouldn’thelpbutgi
ggle.That’swhathecall
ed
mesomet imesandi tal
way stickl
edme.I
helpedmy sel
fgetupandt henopenedthedoor
forhim andhepul l
edmei nf orabonecrushi
ng
hug
Him:I
’v
ebeenwor r
iedsi
ck.Youwer
en’
t
answer
inganyofourcal
l
s.Yourmom cal
l
edme
pani
cki
ngandsodidYaya
Me:
MisoI
’
mfi
ne
Isai
dst
ruggl
i
ngt
ogetoutofhi
sar
msandhe
l
etme. 
Hi
m:y
ou’
vebeencr
ying.What
’sgoi
ngon?
Me:
Misokushl
eI’
mfi
ne!
Isnappedandher ai
sedaneyebrow.Iwasnot
aboutt oapologi
seatall
.Heneedstostop
fussing.Iwalkedtothebedandhefoll
owed
behindmel ikealostpuppy
Hi
m:But
ter
cupt
alkt
omepl
ease
Me:
Ifeel
li
keI
’
mlosi
ngy
ou.Idon’
tknowt
o
whatortowhobuty
ounother
eany
mor
e.You
notmineany
more
Hi
m:But
ter
cupy
ou’
l
lnev
erl
oseme
Me: t
henImustbeseeingthi
ngsorf eel
ing
things.Youhardl
yevercal
lli
key ouusedto,you
visitmeonceadayandt hat’
sitandwheny ou
her eit
’sli
keyouj
ustheref
orthesexandt hen
youl eave.I
sther
esomeoneel seinyourli
fe
Mi so? 
Him:what?NO.I
’
dnev
ercheatony
ou
Butt
ercup 
Me:
then?What
’sgoi
ngon?
Hi
m:I’
vejustbeencaughtupwi
thwor
kthat
’s
al
l
.Ther
ei snootherwoman
Me:andt
heni
ghty
oucameher
esmel
l
ingof
per
fume?
Hi
m:what
?
Me:Il
oveyoubutIcannotcompetewit
hanone
pr
egnantgi
rlwhocandoallthet
hingsIcan’
tdo
i
nbed
Him: Butt
ercupthereisnootherwoman.The
othernightImetupwi thAyaandherf r
iend
Kell
yt hat
’sall
.Iwouldneverdisr
espectyouli
ke
that.Youhavet obeli
eveme
Hewasev enpl eadingwi t
hhiseyes.May beI’m
overr
eact i
ng.Whenev erwespokebackwhen
wewer est i
llt
ryingt ogett oknoweachot herhe
wouldt el
lmeaboutt hest uf
fhisfatherputhis
mom t hroughwhent heywer esti
lldati
ngandhe
vowedt ohimsel ft onev erbeli
kehi m.Derri
ck
Bessusedt obeapl ay erandevenwhenhewas
withMi so’
smom hecheat edonhermul t
ipl
e
ti
mesandYay af orgav ehim mult
ipleti
mes.
Misobeggedmet hati fheevercheatedonmeI
shouldn’tst
aywi thhim becausehenev erwants
toseemei nthatpai nknowi ngthathewast he
onebehi ndmyt ears. 
Hi
m: Butt
ercupI
’
m sor
ry.I’
m sorr
yI’
vebeen
di
stant
,workhasmebyt heball
sbutIpr
omise
y
ouI
’
llmaket
hingsr
ight
Ij
ustnodded.Hepul
ledmyhandsandt
hen
ki
ssedmyf or
ehead.
 
Hi
m:I
’
llmaket
hingsr
ight
Hepull
edmet ohischestandGodDamnhi s
col
ognewasdoi ngt hethingsi
nallthewrong
andri
ghtplaces.Ipull
edawayf rom hi
schest
andwrappedmyar msar oundhisneckpull
ing
hi
sfaceclosertomi ne
Me:
Ireal
l
ywantt
ohav
esexwi
thy
our
ightnow
Hechuckl
ed
Hi
m:I
’
mlov
ingpr
egnantBut
ter
cup
Ipul
ledhi shai
randhegi ggl
edandki
ssedme.
Fel
tlikeIhadn’thadhi
mi nagesandyetIsaw
thi
sguyj ustyester
day.Wemadeourwayt o
bedandwedi dwhatloversdoandhecuddled
met i
llIf
ellasleep.
Voi
ce:i
fonlyyouwer en’
tthisst
ubbor
n
i
ndependentobsessedsex ymamaIwoul
dpop
thequestionr
ightnowbutknowingyou,you’
ll
probablysaynoandI’m af
rai
dofbeingrej
ected
byy ou.Iwoul
dn’tbeabl
etohandlesuchfrom
you. 
Ikeptquiet
.Iwasn’tdreami ngatall
,Misowas
brushingmyhairandt alki
ngtomet hinki
ngI’
m
asleep.Whywouldhewantmar ri
agenow?We
wayt ooyoungandt here’snorush.
Him: Ilovey ousomuchandIwoul dnev erdo
anythingtoj eopardisewhaty ouandIhav e.
Thatni ghtIcamesmel li
ngofanot herwomani s
becauseMi awashel pingmel ookforthe
perf
ectr ockbutIcoul dn’ttel
ly out
hatbecause
knowi ngy ou(chuckles)y ouwoul dprobably
thr
owaf i
taboutt hattoo.
Heki ssedthetopofmyhead.Thi sguywas
doingt het
hings.Iwasholdingbacktears
becauseIdi dn’
twanthimt oknowIwasawake.
SoIkeptqui etandli
stenedbuthedidn’tgoon.
I
nst eadhetriedtosl
ideofthebedwi t
hout
al
armingmeandhesucceeded.Hewal kedout
ofthebedroom andItr
iedtogobacktosl
eep
unt
ilhewokemeupaboutanhourort wolat
er
wit
hapl at
eofmyf ave.Thesmellwasdi
vi
ne.
Mymancancooky a’l
l!
.
.
[
05/
10,09:
22]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#29
.
.
2YEARSLATER
Iwasnow21andmyl ittl
eonewasay earol d
andshewasbeaut i
fulthanthewordbeaut iful
.
Eversi
ncemybr eak-
outonI vyourrel
ationship
hasbeenonast eepslopeandIwon’ tli
ei t
doesn’
tbothermeatall,Itr
iedtoapologiset o
herbutsheshutmeout .MisoandIbr okeup,
nothingbadhappenedofsuchnat ur ebutwe
agreedt ojustendt hingsandf ocusonourl ittl
e
oneandwewer ebet terof ft hatwayandno
l
itt
leKendr aImi nathi i
snott hereasonwebr oke
up.Iguesswej ustf ell outofl ovei fIcouldput
i
tthatway ,butallIknowi st hatIgav ebirthand
forsomer easonIf eltdi ff
er entabouthi m.he’ s
sti
llmybestf ri
endandhest il
ll
ovesmel i
ket he
dayhef el
linlovewi thmebutwej ustbet teroff
thewaywear eIguess.Mom wasagr eat
grandmot herandsowasYay aandBoobi e.
WhatcanIsay ,Kendr awasl ovedbyev eryone…
evenAy aherselflov edmydaught erher
brother’
sdaught er.Mi soandIhadoccasi onal
sexandwewer egoodl iket hat.I’
veseenEst er
aroundbutIav oidheratal l costs.Mybr others
wereamazi nguncl esandt heyspoi l
tKendr atoo
damnmuchf ormyl iking.Shehadj ustf
inished
washi ngandwewer ewai tingf orherf atherto
comeandf et
chher ,shewasagi ftedchild,she
wasal readytalkingandy etshewasonl yay ear
old.Il
ovedhowquickshegrewupbecause
thenitmadethi
ngseasierf
orme.
Her
:mom wher
e’sdad?
Me:
he’
sonhi
swaybaby
. 
Itwast heweekendandwewer egoingto
Miso’sparents’houseforabr aai,Idon’
teven
knowwhatt heywerecel ebr
atingbutallIknow
i
st hatMisot ol
dmewashanddr essupandbe
readyby1: 40pm.Mi ssywasget tingali
ttl
e
i
mpat ientandIam tobl amef orthatbecauseI
my sel
fam al it
tl
eimpat i
ent.Wehear dthecar
pullupandsher anoutside
Me:
heynor
unni
ng
shedidn’tev
enhearme.If i
nishedpackingup
thedishesandthenawhi l
elaterhewalkedin
carryi
nghisdaught
er.IsweartoGodt hisman
l
ookedy ummyev eryti
meIsawhi m,i
t’
sl i
ke
he’stry
nagetbackatmef orendingthings
betweenusbymaki ngsurethathelooksal l
sortsofyum.Hecamet oki
ssmycheek
Hi
m:heyBut
ter
cup
Me:
hi
Iwal
kedoutandhef
oll
owedmewi
thKendr
a
st
il
li
nhisar
ms
Hi
m:sor
ryI
’
mlat
eIgothel
dup 
Me:
yeahsur
e
Him:don’
ttel
lmey oumadatmef
orbei
ngl
ate
byonlyt
womi nut
es
Me:
I’
m not
Hi
m:y
oul
ookgor
geousbyt
heway
Me:
andherper
fumesmel
l
sgr
eatony
ou
Hekeptquiet.Ihandedhim Kendra’
sthi
ngsand
thentookmyhandbagandf ol
lowedhimlocki
ng
thehouse.Igotinsidei
nthefrontwhil
ehewas
strappi
ngmissyinherseat.Heplayedmusic
andwedr oveinsilence
Hi
m:i
t’
snot
hingser
ious
Me:
youdon’
towemeany
thi
ngMi
so
Hi
m:youthemot herofmychi
l
dandmybest
f
ri
endBut
tercup
Me:
Miso,
itsokt
haty
ouseei
ngsomeone.
Hi
m:oh
Me:
so….
?
Hi
m:what
?
Me:
Iwantt
oknowabouther
Hi
m: wenotdoi
ngt
hisBut
ter
cup.Wenotgoi
ng
t
odiscussmysexl
i
fe
Me:y
ousai
dity
our
sel
f,I
’
myourbestf
ri
end…
mi
ghtaswel
l
Him:Iwoul
dn’twantt
ohearaboutt
heguyyou
busywit
hbecauseitwoul
dbeuncomfor
tabl
e
formetoli
sten
Me:
yout
heonl
yguyI
’
m busywi
thso…
Him: whenyoudogetbusywit
hanot herguyI
don’twanttohearhowthi
ngsaregoing
becausethenitwil
lmakemejealous
Inoddedandt urnedt olookout side.Iwasn’ t
j
eal ous…okmay beIwas.Iendedt hings
becauseI ’
m scar edofcommi tment .WhenI
gav ebi rt
htoKendr aIwentt hroughaphase, I
didn’ twantt oseeherl etalonet ouchherf ora
whol eweekbecauseIwasscar edt hatImight
hur therorsomet hing.theyev enr ecommended
at her api
stformebecauseIwassodepr essed
andsoscar ed.InthatphaseIendedt hi
ngswith
Mi so, Iwast er
ri
fiedthatImi ghtbecomet he
mot herEsterwast ome.Iwasn’ thy pedupatall
thatIgav ebirt
ht oababygi rlbecausei nthe
backofmymi ndoal way shopedf orasonbut
byGod’ sgraceIov ercamei tallandIl ove
Kendr amor ethanlifeitsel
f.
Hi
m:y
ouknowIst
il
lhav
ethatr
ing
Me:
Miso.
..
Him:IloveyouButt
ercupandwhatwehadwas
speci
al.Youcan’
texpectmetojustgetov
er
youli
kethatespeci
all
ywhenwehav eachil
d
t
oget
her
Me:y
ou’
llmeetsomeonewhowi
l
lbebet
ter
t
hanIev
erwas
Him:whatifIdon’
twantsomeoneel
se?Whati
f
Iwantyouandonlyyou?Youcan’
texpectmet
o
j
ustmov eonjustl
iket
hat
Me:
buty
oumov
ingonbyseei
ngot
herpeopl
e
Hi
m:she’
snoty
ou.She’
l
lnev
erbey
ou
Me:thenstopl
ooki
ngformei nherandt
ry
knowingherpr
operwi
thouthavi
ngtocompar
e
hert
ome
Hi
m:l
et’
sjustdr
opt
hispl
ease
Me:
fine
Il
ookedatmydaught erwhowasbusypl ayi
ng
wit
hherteddybearandtalki
ngtoit
.shewas
suchahappysoulbutalsoacrybaby.When
shewasstil
lababyshewoul dcr
ytoapoi nt
whereIwouldcryt
ooandnot hi
ngIdidev er
workedorwouldshutherup.Iwoul
dn’thave
madei twi
thoutmom anddadandevenwhenI
camebackt oLAMi sohadtoli
vewi
thme
becauseshewasahandf ulandMi
sowas
al
way sabl
et ocal
m herdownmorethanme.
Hi
m:she’
sbeaut
if
ul
Me:
yeahshei
s
Him:t
ot hinksomeonethi
sper
fectcamef
rom
suchdysfuncti
onal
people
Me:
I’
m notdy
sfunct
ional
Him:whatev
ermakesy
ousl
eepatni
ght
Butt
ercup
Me:y
ouluckyy
oudr
ivi
ngot
her
wiseI
’
dbeal
l
ov
eryou
Hi
m:Icanal
way
sst
opt
hecar
Me:si
esy
oudi
sgust
ing!That
’snotwhatI
meant
Hel
aughed
Me:
alway
sdi
rt
ymi
ndedy
eses!
Hi
m:whatcanIsay
,youbr
ingoutt
hedi
rti
nme
Ifoundmy selflaughing.Thisguywas
somet hingelse.Wepar kedi nfr
ontofhi s
parents’houseandt henwegotof f.Iwas
wearingawhi t
eoffshoul dersmaxi dresswi tha
sandal andmyhai rhangi ngloosewi t
hno
makeupatal l notevenlipsti
ck.Wewal kedin
andwentoutbackandt hef amilywasgat hered
aroundt hepool .Yayawaswear i
ngabi kini
l
ookingal lkindsofsexyandherhusbandwas
wearingswi mmi ngtrunksandhewassi tti
ngon
thepool stai
r s.Peopleher ewerejustcar efree
anddr essedupf orthepool .Yayacamet ohug
me
Her
:howar
eyou?
Me:
I’
m goodMahandhowar
eyou?
Her
:I’
m good.Wher
e’smygr
andbaby
?
It
urnedbehi
ndmeandt
heywer
enott
her
e
Me:
theywer
eri
ghtbehi
ndmewi
thherf
ather
Her:
theymustbesomewher
eint
hehouse.You
knowwhereever
ythi
ngi
s
Me:
yesMah,
thanks
Her
:okcool
Withthatshelef
tmeandIwentt ogr eet
every
one.Ky l
e’
swifewasheretogetherwith
Yanga’swifeandtheyweresweetheart.Aya’
s
husbandwasbyt hebraaiwit
hMJandKy l
e.I
wenttositnexttoBoobi
e.Shewasi nher80’s
orlat
e70’sandshewasst il
lbeauti
fulanda
l
it
tleaged.
Me:
howar
eyou?
Her
:I’
m goodButt
ercupandhowar
eyou?
Where’
smygreatgrandchi
l
d?
Me:somewherewit
hherf
atherorgr
andmot
her
now.Idon’
tknowanymor
e
Shechuckl
ed
Her:
Isti
l
ldon’
tunderst
andwhyyouandthat
boydon’
tgetmarr
iedandrai
set
hatchi
ldina
st
abl
ehome
Me:
comeonBoobi
ewespokeaboutt
his
Her
:Igotmar
ri
edwhenIwasy
ourage
Me:Boobi
et i
meshav
echanged.Weal
lwant
di
ff
erentt
hings
Her
:thatboyl
ovesy
ou
Me:
IknowhedoesandIl
ovehi
mtoo 
Her
:but
?
Me:wewantdiff
erentthi
ngs.I
’m notupfor
marr
iageandIcan’
thelpbutfeell
ikeifwegot
marr
ieditwoul
druinthi
srel
ati
onshipwehav e
now
Her
:thati
schildishandst
upi
d.Sowhatar
e
t
hesediff
erentthingsy
ouwant?
Me:
youknow.
 
Her
:noIdon’
tknow.enl
i
ght
enmepl
ease
IwassavedbyKendrar
unningt
oherBoobi
eal
l
hypedupandexci
tedwear
ingswimming
costume.Shel ookedadorabl
easalways.They
greetedeachot herandhadaconversat
ionjust
thetwooft hem.Idecidedtogoinsi
detoget
my selfsomethingtodri
nk.Misowasont he
phoneandi twasonl oudspeakerhewasi nthe
kit
chent al
kingtosomewoman
Hi
m:It
oldy
ouI
’
llseey
oul
ater
Her:don’
tbot
her
.Al
lyoucar
eabouti
syour
babymamaanddaughter
Hi
m:ofcause.It
oldy
ouf r
om t
hegetgot
hat
t
heyweremymai npr
ior
it
y
Shejustdr
oppedthecall
onhi
m andhebanged
theki
tchencount
er.Iwal
kedi
n
Me:
ever
ythi
ngok?
Hi
m:y
eahev
ery
thi
ng’
sfi
ne
Me:
yousur
e
Hi
m: whycan’
twegobackt
othewayweonce
wer
e?
Ishr
ugged
Me:wejustcan’
t.I
t’
sbeenay
earnowMi
so.
Youhav
et omoveon
Hi
m:I
’
llmov
eonwheny
oumov
eon
Me:I
’m bet
terof
fthewayt hi
ngsareMiso.I
’m
notr
eadytoletamani ntomydaught
er’sl
if
e
andhavehi
m mi st
reather
Him:But
ter
cupyouneedt
ogethel
p.I
t’
snot
r
ightt
hatyoul
iv
einsuchf
ear
Me:
I’
m notl
i
vingi
nfear
Him:youdon’
twanttoletanothermani nt
o
yourl
if
ebecauseyouscaredthathemi ghttur
n
outtobeamonster.Youarescaredthatyou
mightsomedaybecomeanEst ertoKendra.It
’s
notheal
thyf
oryouoranyonear oundyou
Me:Iwi
l
lbef
inewi
tht
imeMi
so.Thanksf
ort
he
car
e
Hebrushedmyshoul
dersandt
henwal
kedout
l
iv
ingmet odowhatIhadcometodoi
nthe
ki
tchenint
hef i
rstpl
ace.Ipouredmysel
fjui
ce
andthenwalkedouttojoinevery
one.
.
.

[
05/
10,09:
22]Ron:
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#30
.
.
Iwasatwor
kdoi
ngsomet
hingIl
ovet
obi
ts.
Ther
ewasaknockont
hedoor.
Me:
comei
n
Theper
soncameinandsatdownopposi
teme.
myeyeswerest
il
lgl
uedonthescr
een
Me:
howcanIhel
pyou?
Per
son:
Yol
anda
Ithoughtmyear sweredecei
vingme, scr
atch
that.Theyhadtobedeceivi
ngme, Ihadtobe
hearingthi
ngs.Idi
dn’twantt
ol ookupbecause
thent hi
svoi
ceIwashear i
ngwasgoi ngtobe
realandwasgoi ngtobeoppositeme.  
Her
:pl
easedon’
tcal
lsecur
it
y
Istil
ldi
dn’tr
espond.Pleaseunderstandthatt
he
sightofher,
hervoiceandev ery
thingabouther
takesmebackt oat imewher eshehadt he
upperhandinmyl i
f eandshest i
ll
hauntsme.
Seeingherhaunts,met i
ll
today.
Her
:Pl
ease
Irai
sedmyey esslowlyandlookedupather .f
or
asickper sonshel ookedprett
ygood, shewas
beautiful
,shewast hemotherIonceknew.The
womanwhom myf at
heronceadoredmor e
thanany t
hingorl edtobeli
eveheador edher
beforehel osthisjobandbecameadi fferent
man, amonst er.Shewasal waysbeaut i
f ulbut
thethingspeopl edowi l
lmakeaper sonseem
ugl
y.
Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Il
ookedatmyhandsandtheywereshaki
ng.My
bodywasal
ltensedupandangerwasbui
ldi
ng
up
Her:Idon’tneedy out osayany thing.Ijustwant
toapologiseforev eryt
hingIputy outhrough.I
havenor easonast owhyIt reatedy out hewayI
didandf orthatIam trulysorry.ifIcoul dundo
everyterr
ibl
et hingIputy outhrough, Iwoul dbut
Ican’t
.YolandaIknowt hatwhatI ’m askingyou
i
sal otandIknowi twontt akeadaybutIam
askingyout ofinditinyourhear ttof orgiveme
foreveryter
r i
blethingIputy outhr ough.Ilove
youandenj oyt herestofy ourday
Withthatshestoodupandwal kedoutwit
hout
evengivi
ngmeachancet orespond.Iwat
ched
herwalkawayandt hentookmyphoneand
di
all
edMi so’
snumberwhi chIknewbyhead
andheanswer edafterawhil
e
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:But
ter
cup
Me:
MisoIneedy
ou
Hi
m:But
ter
cupwhat
’swr
ong?Wher
ear
eyou?
Iwasevenshaking;
Icouldbarel
yhol
dthe
phone.I
fsomeonesawmet heywoul
dassume
met obeacrackaddict
.
Me:
I’
m atwor
k
Iwasevenstruggl
i
ngt obr
eat
he.AndMi soon
theot
herhandwasonpani cmode,Icouldhear
i
nhisbackgroundthathewasbusywith
somethi
ng
Hi
m:I
’
m onmyway
.
Me:
pleasedon’
thangup
Him:Iwon’
t.Butt
ercupj
ustbr
eat
hef
ormeok.I
needyoutobreat
he
Ist
art
eddoingbreathi
ngexerci
sesandthey
werewor
kingslowlybutsur
elyandIcouldf
eel
my selfcalmingdownal it
tl
e.I
’m notapill
personandmyant i
-anxiet
yanddepr essi
on
medswer enev eri
nmypossessi onandInev er
fi
nishedt hem becauseIdi dn’
twanttodepend
ont hem andIf el
tli
ket heyweremaki ngme
mor edepr essedandunhappysot heystayedin
thehouse.
Hi
m:howar
eyounow?
Idi
dn’
trespond
Hi
m:But
ter
cupsaysomet
hing
Me:
I’
mfi
ne.I
’
m ok
Hi
m:I
’
m al
mostt
her
eok.j
usthangi
nther
e
Inoddedast
houghhecoul
dseeme
Hi
m:r
emembert
hef
ir
stt
imey
ousai
dyoul
ove
me
Helaughednervouslymakingmedatebacktoa
ti
mewhenIwasext remelyhappywit
hMisoand
ther
ewasnobabyi nvol
ved.Icoul
dn’
thel
pbut
smil
eatthethoughtbecauseaf t
erIt
oldhi
mI
l
ovehi
m Iclaspedmymout hasthoughIsai
d
somet
hingIshouldn’
thav
esaid
Me:
yes,
Iremember
Him: youwer esoshockedt oheary ourself
sayingthosewor ds.youwer esoador ableand
myhear twasoncl oud9becauset hewomanI
l
ov ehadj ustconf essedherloveformeev en
thoughsheher selfcouldn’
tbeli
evethewor ds
shehadut t
eredt ome.Ir emembersheonce
saidbeingl ov
edandl ovingbackisashor tcutto
getti
ngy ourhear tbrokenandnowIact uall
y
beli
eveher
Ismil
ed.Iwasnolongert
hinki
ngaboutEst
eror
whatsheputmet hr
oughbutinst
eadIwas
thi
nki
ngaboutthegoodti
mesIhadwi t
hMiso. 
Him:I
’
mint
heel
evat
ornow.I
’
m endi
ngt
hecal
l
ok?
Me:
ok
*
**EndofPC*
**
Iwasmor ecal m andt hinkingaboutmyl ifewit
h
Mi soandhowIwasst upidt ohav eended
thingswi thhi m becausehewasper fectforme,
nobodywi lleverunder standmet hewayhe
doesordi d.Heopenedt hedoorandIr anand
threwmy selfinhi sar ms.Ineededhi scomf ort
,I
neededt osmel lhisscentagai nstmynose, I
neededt obei nhi sst r
ongmuscl edar ms.He
kissedt het opofmyhead.Idon’ tknowwher eI
woul dbewi thoutt hisman.WhenImetTobyI
thoughtt hathewoul dbet heoneIr unto
whenev ert herewast r
oubleorsomet hing
troublingmebutMi socameal ongandchanged
alloft hatandmademedependonhi m and
nowwehav eal itt
leangel alsodependenton
him.Speaki ngofToby ,heup’ dandl eftwhenhe
l
ear ntofmypr egnancy ,heseemed
disappoi nt edandunhappywi thmecar ry
ing
anot herman’ schi ld.Ithi
nkhewasj ealousorhe
hadhopedt hatheandIwoul dsomehowendup
toget herbutInev erlovedTobi asmor ethana
brot
herl
yway,Imayhav
ehadf
eeli
ngsforhi
m
buttheydi
ed.Wewentt
osi
tonthecouch
Hi
m:t
alkt
ome
Hesai
dlooki
ngatme
Me:
Est
erwasher
e
Hi
m:whatdi
dshewant
?
Me:
toapol
ogi
se.Sheapol
ogi
sedandt
henl
eft
Him:Butter
cupy ouneedtofi
ndawayt oheal
fr
om thethingssheputyouthrough.Youcan’
t
l
ivei
nf earofherfort
herestofyourli
fe,i
t’
snot
heal
thyforyouorourdaughter
Ikeptquiet
.Everyti
meIhav eabr eakdownhe
alwayssaysthis.healwayssuggeststherapy
andIdon’tfi
ndt al
ki
ngabouty ourchil
dhood
andstufftoast r
angerhel
psy ouinanyway
becauseattheendoft hedayt heywil
lputy ou
onmedsandpr obablyhaveyouadmi tt
edint o
psychi
atri
cevaluati
onandt hat
’sit
.nothingto
makey oufeelanybetter
.
Him:Butt
ercuppl
ease,
atl
eastdoi
tforI
mi,
she
needsthi
s
Ist
il
ldi
dn’
trespond
Him:itpainsmet oseey oul
iket
hisButt
ercup
especial
l
yknowi ngthatsomethi
ngcanbedone
aboutthi
s.Pleasejustconsi
dert
herapyok?
Inodded.Hepul l
edmet ohisar msandki ssed
myhai r
.Thismanl ovedmer egar dlessof
everythingIputhi mt hrough.Somet imesIwi sh
Ididn’tlovehim andhedi dn’tlov emebecause
thenmay beI’
dact uallyconsidert hi
swhol e
therapyt hi
ng.Thi nkabouti t
, withoutMi sot hen
Iwoul dhav ear eal reasont oat tendt her apy
becauseI ’
dknowt hathe’ snotav ailablef orme
atall.Hedeci dedt ocal litadayf ormeand
optedt hatwegohomeandspendsomet ime
withourdaught er.WhenIgothomeI v ywas
thereplay i
ngwi thher ,themi nut eI mi sawher
daddysher anintohi sarmsandhepi ckedher
upandki ssedheral lovermaki nghergi ggle.I
mademywayt
oIv
y.
Me:
Hi
Her
:Hey
Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Her
:Icamet
oseemyni
eceandt
oseey
ou
Me:
oh
Her:YolandaI ’
m sorry.Everythingy ousaidwas
tr
uebutIj ustdi dn’twantt ohearanyofi t.I
t’
s
myf aultyouspental lthosey earssuf f
eri
ng.
HadInotbeent heretheny ouwoul dn’thave
hadt oli
vel ikethat.Yousuf feredal li
nthename
ofprotectingmeandf orthatI ’
m gr at
efulbut
youdon’ thav etopr ot
ectmeany mor e,I
’m
giv
ingy ouy ourf r
eedom Lal a.Ilov eyouso
muchandt hanky ouforev erything.
Me:I
vywhatareyousay
ing?What
’st
he
meani
ngofthi
s?
Her
:I’
mleav
ingt
own
Me:
togowher
e? 
Her
:Idon’
tknowy
et
Me:andschool
?Yv
ett
eyoucan’
tjustupand
l
eav
e?
Her
:don’
twor
ryaboutmeRed,
I’
ll
bef
ine
Me:noYvet
teyoucan’
tjustl
eav
e.pl
easedon’
t
l
eav
e.I’
m beggi
ngyou
Her:
y ouhaveev er
ythi
ngyou’
veeverdr
eamed
of
,ev eni
fitcameal it
tl
etooear
lybuty
ouhave
i
tallandthere’
snor oom f
orme
Me:
that’
snott
rueI
vy.Ther
e’l
lal
way
sber
oom
f
oryou
Her
:Iknowt
hat
.Il
ovey
ouLal
a.Takecar
eok?
Shepull
edmeinforahugandtookherbagand
walkedout
.Whatthehel
lj
usthappened?
.
.
5YEARSLATER
Iwasnow26andl i
tt
leKendr aI minat hi Graham
Besswasnow6y earsoldandherf atherwas
27y earsol dandi naser iousr elationshi p.
Whi chmeantnomor efool i
ngar oundt oget her
becausemi ssywasi nt hepi ct ur eandhet hinks
he’si nlovewi t
hherandwoul dwantt oset tle
downwi thhersomeday .Wewer eof ficiall
yco-
par entingandi twasn’ thar datal lbecausewe
bot hwant edwhatwasbestf orourdaught er
andI mi di
dn’ tl
iket henewl yf oundedst ep
mommyandIwontl ieIdi dn’tl i
kehert oo, there
wasj ustsomet hingabouthert hatdi dntsi twel l
withme.Iont heot herhandwasal soi na
relationshipwi thaguynamedTr iston, hewasa
greatguyandt herewasnot hi ngnott ol ike
abouthi m…hewasal mostper fect.Mi sodi dn’t
l
ikehi m ofcause.Hef elttheguywast oo
per fectforhi sliki
ngandev enwhenhet ried
diggi nghedi dn’tfi
ndany thingshadyabouthi m
sot ohi mt hatmeanssomet hingel se.Kendr a
andIwer echi l
li
ngi nthebacky ardi nthepool as
i
twassuperhott
oday
“
Knockknock”
Kendr
a:Daddy
Shesai
drunningi
nsidet
hehouse,shewasstil
l
adaddy’
sli
tt
legir
l.Hewalkedi
ncarry
ingher
.
Hi
m:But
ter
cup
Henev erstoppedandIthi
nkthegi
rl
fr
ienddidn’
t
l
ikethathehadani cknameformeanddi dn’
t
haveonef orher.Heputhi
sdaught
erdownand
squatt
ednextt omeandkissedmycheek
Me:
hey
Hetookhi
sshoesoffanddi
ppedhi
sfeeti
nside
t
hepoolsi
tti
ngnextt
omewhi l
eKendr
aplayed
wi
thwater
.
Me:
towhatdoweowet
hisv
isi
t2day
sinar
ow?
Hi
m:Iuhhm ….Hav
esomenewst
otel
lyou
Me:
oh?
Hi
m:Ipr
oposedt
oCar
ly
Me:
Ihopeshesai
dyes
Hi
m:shedi
d…Iwant
edy
out
oheari
tfr
om me
Me:
Iguesscongr
atzi
sinor
der
Hi
m:t
hanks.Ar
eyouokt
hough?
Me:aboutyoumar
ryi
ngt
hewomany
oul
ove?
OfcauseI’
m okMi
so
Hi
m:y
ousur
e?
Me: ofcause.Shemakesy
ouhappyandt
hat
’s
al
lthatmat t
ers
Hi
m:uhhm cool
.Imi
sti
l
ldoesn’
tli
kehert
hough
Me:
yeahwel
lshe’
l
llear
ntol
i
keher
Henodded.Idon’tknowhowIf eltaboutMi so
marryi
ngthatwoman, sheandIhav ehadaf ew
encounter
sandnoneoft hem wereev er
pl
easant.Accordi
ngtoherIwasnotov erMi so
andshewasnotgoi ngt oletmewi norhav e
hi
m.FunnycauseIgav ehimt hebestgi f
tany
mancoul deveraskforsof orhertothinkthat
I
’
vel
osti
sjustbi
zar
re.
 
Hi
m:andy
oust
il
ldon’
tli
keher
?
Me:
shehasn’
tgi
venmer
easont
oli
keher
Him:
thebabymamanev
err
eal
l
ydoesl
i
ket
he
newwoman
Me: I
’
m notyourtypi
calbabymamaMi so.That
womanhasn’ tgi
venmer easontoli
keandmy
daughterwil
lnev
erbeleftwithherasl
ongas
I
’m sti
llal
i
ve
Him:Butt
ercupyounotbeingf
air
.Car
lyi
sapart
ofmylif
eandIwouldlikehert
obepartofour
daught
ersli
fetoo
Me:no.andthat
’st
heendoft
hisdi
scussi
onor
whatev
erthi
sis
Him:Iam I
minat
hi’
sfat
her
,Ihav
easayi
nmy
daught
er’
sli
fe
Me:Ineversai
dyoudon’
t.al
lI’
m say
ingisthatI
don’
ttr
ustthatwi
tchwi
thmydaught erand
that
’st
hat
Him:Idon’
ttr
ustTri
stonwithmydaught
erbutI
don’
tdict
ateyourl
i
fechoices
Me:
Tri
stonhasnotmetKendr
ayet
Hi
m:Iwoul
dn’
tknowt
hat
Me:Tri
stonandIhaveonl
ybeentoget
herfor5
months.Iwoul
dn’
tdarei
ntr
oducehimjustyet
Him:Car
lyandIhav
ebeentoget
herf
ort
wo
year
snowButter
cup.Comeon
Me:i’
l
l gopackuphert
hingsandIwanther
backtomorrowbef
orel
unch
Hi
m:y
ounotbei
ngf
airYol
anda
Me: what
snotfai
risyoumar r
yingawoman
yourdaught
erdoesn’
tli
ke.Thi
nkaboutt
hat
 
Igotupandwenti
nside.MisoandIwer est
il
l
goodfri
endswhospokeaboutany thingand
ever
ythi
ng,t
heonl
ytimewedi dn’tseeey et
o
eyewaswhenwespokeoft hi
s,ourdaughter
andourpart
ner
s.I
twasal wayswor ldwar3.
.
.
[
05/
10,
15:
56]Ron:
1
.
.
Iwasi
nmyr oom takingmybi
kini
offwhen
Misowal
kedin.Iquickl
ygr
abbedatowel
Hi
m:not
hingIhaven’
tseenbef
oreBut
ter
cup.
Whendi
dy ougett
hetatt
oo?
Ihadananchortat
tooonmybackbel owmy
neckwit
hmydaught er
’sbi
rthdat
eandher
namebelowtheanchorandIhadanot herone
ofmywr i
stofournames,herandI.Ihadabout
5tatt
oosonmybody .
Me:
Igoti
tlastweek
Hi
m:l
ooksgood
Me:thanks.Coul
dyoupl
easegetoutI
’
dli
ket
o
getdressed?
Hi
m:I
’
veseeni
tal
lBut
ter
cupandmor
e
Me:
Miso
Helockedt
hedoorandwal keduptome
makingmeshiver
,hewasst ri
ppi
nghisclothes
ashewasmakinghi swaytome.Whydi dhe
havethi
ski
ndofeffectonmest i
ll
?Hepul l
ed
mebymywai standmyt owelfel
lexposi
ngmy
nakedbody
.
Hi
m:y
ou’
l
lal
way
sbemi
ne
Me:
youengaged
Hi
m:so?
Hekissedmyneckwhil
ehishandgrabbedmy
assandsqueezedi
tsendi
ngimpul
sesdownto
thebott
om ofmyspi
ne.DamnIhatethisman
butIl
ovehim…doesthatmakeanysense
Me:
thi
siswr
ong
Hi
m:whi
chpar
t?
Hewasmassagi
ngmyboobswi
thhi
sot
her
handwhil
etr
acingwetki
ssesf
rom myjawl
i
ne
tomyli
ps.Il
etoutamoanandhesmiled
Hi
m:youseewhatImean?You’
l
lal
way
sbe
mi
neButt
ercup
Icoul dn’thelpbutwr apmyar msar oundhis
neckandr espondt ohiskiss.Hepi ckedmeup
andt ookmet obedandgotont opofmenot
breaki ngt hekissandt henhet r
acedwetki sses
downt omybel l
ybuttonandal l
thewayt omy
nooki ewher ehef l
i
ckeredhistongueov ermy
cl
itsendi ngchill
sdownt omyspi ne.God
Tristoncoul dnev erdomet hewayMi sodoes
meandhei snotaspackedasMi so.Hemade
meor gasm andt henhewentont oinsert
himsel f,GodIhadf orgott
enhowbi gthisguy
wasandr i
ghtnowhewassomet hingIhadl ast
had2y earsagobef oreCar l
ycamei nthe
picture.Wehadast eamysessi onandt henI
wentt oshowerandasy oucanguess, he
shower edwi thme.Iwasaboutt ospeakbuthe
puthi sf i
ngeronmyl ipsshutti
ngmeup
Hi
m: Iknowwhaty
ougoi
ngt
osayanddon’
t.
j
ustdon’tok
Me:
thi
siswr
ong
Hi
m:that
’snotwhatyouweresay
ingwhenI
wasi
nchesdeepinsi
deofyou
Ihi
thi
m andhel
aughed.
Hi
m:Leav
ehi
m But
ter
cupandI
’
lll
eav
eher
Me:
no.Changei
sgoodMi
so
Hi
m:notthi
skindofchange.YouandIwill
al
wayshavethi
ski
ndofconnection.Youdon’t
l
ovehi
mt hewayyoulovemeandy ouneverwil
l
Me:
noMi
so
Him:WebothknowthatImakeyouhappy
,I
madeyouhappyandIwill
alway
sbetheonefor
you
Somehowhewast ell
ingthetr
uthbutIdidn’
t
wantt
oadmi ti
t.Ididn’twantt
oadmi ti
ttohim
ormysel
fbecauset henI’dbel
etti
ngmy self
vulner abletohear tbreak.Seewi thTristonI
hav elethi mintomyl i
febuthe’ snotcl oset o
myhear t,
Idon’tletany onegett hatclose.I
don’thav eroom foranot hermani nmyhear t,
I’
m scar edthatI’
llletamani ntomyl i
feandhe’ l
l
enduphur ti
ngmybaby .Ididn’trespondand
j
ustl ethi m be.Igotoutanddr i
edmybodyand
hewal kedoutanddr i
edhi mselft ooandt hen
wemadeourwayoutt ot heroom andl oti
oned
ourbodi esandIwor elooseshor tsandan
oversi zedcropt opwhi chr eall
ydon’ tshow
muchwi thfli
pflopsandhewor ewhathewas
wear ingbef ore.Iwentt opackanov erni ghtbag
forImi andthenhet ookitandwewal keddown
Hi
m:don’
tfor
gett
ogetbuyt
hemor
ningaf
ter
pi
l
l
Me:
trustmeIwon’
t.Don’
twantanot
her
r
eminderofy
ou
Hechuckl
ed
Hi
m:Iwoul
dn’
tmi
ndanMJ
Me:
wel
lIdon’
twantone.
 
Weheadeddownst
air
sandourdaught
erwasi
n
t
hel
oungeplayi
ngwit
hhernanny
.
Hi
m:r
eadyt
ogo?
Her
:wegoi
ngt
ovi
sitNi
no?
Hi
m:we’
l
lal
sov
isi
therbef
orewegohome
Her
:isCar
lygoi
ngt
obet
her
e?
Helookedatmefi
rstandIshr
ugged.Heknows
sowhylookatme?
Hi
m:y
es,
she’
l
lbet
her
e
Her
:Idon’
twantt
ogot
oher
Me:
why
?
Her
:Idon’
tli
keher
Hi
m:gi
veherachance
Me:
I’
m sur
eshe’
sni
ce
SheshookherheadandIshr
ugged
Hi
m:l
et’
sgogeti
cecr
eam andgov
isi
tNi
no
andgr
anpa
Shesmi ledex ci
tedly.TheyleftandIhel pedher
nannypackuphert oys.Whenwewer edoneI
drovetot hephar macyf orthepill.Iwonderwhy
Itrust
edMi sosodamnmucht ohav esexwi t
h
hi
m knowi ngthathehadagi rl
friendandt hey
wer eprobablyhav i
ngunpr otectedsex.WhenI
wasdonedr i
nki
ngt hepillIcal
ledTr ist
on 
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:heybeaut
if
ul
Igi
gglednerv
ously
.May
beit
’sbecauseoft
he
gui
ltofsl
eepingwit
hMi
so.
 
Me:
heyhandsomewhatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Hi
m:Ij
ustgotof
fofwor
k,what
’sup?
Me:
youst
il
lcomi
ngov
ert
oday
?
Hi
m:somet
hingc…
Me:
itsf
ine
Hi
m:comeonbabedon’
tbel
i
ket
hat
Me:
noi
tscool
,Iseey
ousomeot
hert
ime
Hi
m:Babe
Me:
ByeTr
is
Hi
m:Yo…
*
**EndOfPC*
**
Iendedthecallandpassedbyt heshoptobuy
wineandaf ewt hingsfort
hehouse.Igothome
andpreparedsandwi chesandjustasIwas
busyIgotacal l
f r
om Kendra.Yesshehada
phone…cour t
esyofmymom andst epdad,t
hey
gotheraSamsungS- something,al
lIknowis
thati
tsbig.Shewasv i
deocall
ingme.
*
**PC*
**
Me:
heybabygi
rl
Her
:heymommy
.LookI
’
m wi
thYay
a
Yay
a:heyBut
ter
cup
Me:
heyYay
a.howar
eyouMah?
Her
:goodhoneyandhowar
eyou?
Me:
alsogoodMah.Whatar
etwodoi
ng?
I
mi:weeat
ingmeat
.Gr
andpacamebackwi
th
meat
Me:
from?
Yaya:somehousepar
tyhewasi
nvi
tedt
o.I
di
dn’twantt
oattendi
t
I
mi:
it’
sver
yni
cemummy
Me:
theny
oushoul
dbr
ingmesomet
oo
Yaya:
hahahawe’
l
lsav eyousomeifyou
promi
setocomevisi
t.Youdon’
tvi
situs
anymore
Me:I
’m gi
vi
ngy
out
imewi
thy
ournewdaught
er
i
nlaw
Shel
aughed
Her:Il
ovey
oursar
casm.Yourdaught
erdoesn’
t
l
ikeher
Me:
Idon’
tknowwhy
Her
:shedoesn’
tgi
veany
oner
easont
oli
keher
.
Ayai
stheonl
yper
soni
nthi
shousesheget
s
al
ongwit
h
Me:
ouch.MahIhav
etogo,
ther
e’ssomeoneat
t
hedoor
Her
:okbabyby
e
Me:
tel
lthatoneIsai
dI’
l
lcal
lherl
ater
Her
:wi
l
ldo
*
**EndofPC*
**
Iwenttogetthedoorandmom wasst andi
ng
ther
elooki
ngallki
ndsofclassywit
hapaper
baginherhandwhichI’
m certai
nhad
somethi
ngforKendra.
Me:
mom
Ihuggedherandsher
etur
nedt
hehug
Her
:hel
l
obabyhowar
eyou?
Webrokethehugandt
henshewal
kedi
nwhi
l
eI
cl
osedthebugl
er
Me:
I’
m goodmom andhowar
eyou?
Her
:al
sogood.Wher
e’smygr
andbaby
?
Me:
youshoul
dcal
lherandf
indout
Her
:ver
yfunnyLanda.Wher
eisshe?
Me:
she’
satherot
hergr
andpar
ent
s
Her
:oh…Igott
hisf
orher
Me:
andwhat
’st
hat
?
Her
:justaf
ewt
hingsf
rom myt
rav
els
Me:
andwhataboutme?
Her
:whatabouty
ou?
Me:shehasaclosetofherowni
n4dif
fer
ent
housesmom.shehasenoughclot
hes
Her
:so?Agi
rlcannev
erhav
etoomanycl
othes
Me:fi
newhat
ever.Spoil
heral
lyouwantbutI
won’
tbehel
dresponsibl
eforherspoi
l
tbrat
t
endenci
es
Her
:nahmygr
andbabywi
l
lnev
erbespoi
l
t
Me:
what
every
ousaymom.Soei
thert
han
Kendr
a,whatbr
ingsy
out
otown?
Her:Ij
ustl
andedandIwant
edtotakey
ouguys
outbutsi
nceshe’
snother
elet
’smakeitaspa
day
Me:
great
.Let
’sgo
Shelookedatmefr
om headt
otoeandt
hen
shookherhead 
Me:
what
?
Her:
I’m notgoi
ngany
wher
ewi
thy
oul
ooki
ng
l
ikethat
Me:
what
?
Her
:Il
ovey
oubabybutIhav
ear
ept
ouphol
d
Me:
ouch!andIhereIwasthi
nki
ngIwasl
oved
mor
ethansomer eput
ati
on
Her
:Idolov
eyoumor
ebutbabycomeonbe
r
eal
ist
icnow
Me:
fineI
’
llgochange
Iwentupst
air
sandt
ookoutboy
fri
endj
eans
andworethem andti
edupmyhai rmoreneat
ly
andthenwentdownstai
rs.Iwasn’
tchangi
ng
mytopandf l
i
pf l
ops
Her
:real
l
yYol
anda?
Me:weei
therl
eavewi
thmel
ooki
ngl
i
ket
hisor
wedon’
tgoatall
Her
:youar
emymostdi
srespect
ful
chi
l
dev
er
Me:
andy
oul
ovemet
hemost
Shejustchuckledandwewal kedoutsi
detoher
car,
Ididn’tl
ockbecauseImi’
snannywas
somewher earoundthehouse.Shewasal i
vein
nannyafteral
l.Mom wasdrivingaredFer
rari
.
Myjawdr opped.Iknowshehi redi
tbutGOD
DAMN? ??Really?
Her
:youcomi
ng?
Iopenedt
hedoorandgoti
nandt
henl
ookedat
herasshest
art
edtheengi
ne
Me:
sincewhendoy
our
entaFer
rar
i?
Her
:si
nceIwantt
o
Me:
ever
ythi
ngokwi
thst
epdaddy
?
Her
:yep
Me:
li
ar!
Her
:It
hinkhe’
scheat
ingonme
Me:
hewoul
dnev
er
Her
:yeaht
hat
’swhatIt
houghtt
oo
Me:I
’
m surei
t’
snot
hingl
i
ket
hatmom.t
hat
manador
esyou
Her:
andthelat
esecret
ivephonecal
l
s?Howdo
youexpl
aint
hatLanda?
Me:Lal
aIthi
nky
ouov
err
eact
ing.I
t’
spr
obabl
y
wor
kstuff
Her
:It
rul
yhopesof
orhi
ssake
Me:
yohIwonder
.
Weparkedinfr
ontoft
hemal
landmadeour
wayt
ot hespa.Whenwewer
edoneIwas
relaxedandf eel
ingli
ghterandhappi erand
glowy .Mymot herknewj ustwhatIneeded.We
wal kedtosomebout i
queandshemademet ry
onaf ewoutfit
sandt hosethatIlikedshepai d
forandsomeshegotf orfreeinot herstores
becauseshei sthosecertai
nst oresbuy er
.By
thet i
mewedr ovehomeIwasnol onger
dressedt hewayIwasbef ore.Iwaswear i
nga
heel andashi r
ttuckedin.shedr oveof fto
Yay a’shouse.
Me:
Ithoughtwewer
egoi
ngt
omypl
ace
Her
:af
terIseemygr
andchi
l
d
Me:canIatl
eastcal
lherandf
indoutwher
e
shei
s?
Her
:sur
egoahead
*
**PC*
**
Me:
heyMi
so
Per
son:t
hisi
sCar
ly.I
mii
sher
e,whatdoy
ou
want?
Me:
nev
ermi
nd.
*
**EndofPC*
*
Idroppedthecal
l.Thisgir
lwasannoy i
ngtothe
core.Itol
dmom wher etheli
ttl
eonewas
hopingshewouldn’tgotherebutmom ismom
andshedr ov
estraightt
oMi so’
splace.She’
s
beent her
eafewt i
mesbef ore.
Her
:Iwanthert
oseej
usthowgoody
oul
ook
Me:
mom comeon
Her:
I’
m notgoi
ngtomi ssseei
ngmy
gr
anddaught
erbecauseofhernow
Me:
fine
Irai
sedupmyhandsi nsur r
enderandwe
parkedinfrontofMi
so’sbeauti
fulhouse.The
securi
tytherewassuperti
ght,youcouldtel
lthe
ownerdidITandLandSur veyi
ng(archit
ect
vi
bes).Webot hgotoffandheadedt othedoor.
.
[
05/
10,15:
56]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#32
.
.
Mom canbeadr amat icper sonwhenshewant s
too,somemi ghtev engoasf arascal li
ngher
crazy…Iseewher eIgett hecr azyf rom.She
waswal kingi nf r
ontwi thherchestoutand
tummyi n.,damnmom wasagi ngwel lI’
m
j
ealous.Int ownpeopl et hatknewherwoul dask
i
fwewer esi stersornot …i magi ne!Thedoor
wasopen, probabl ybecauseoft heheatandt he
trel
li
dorwascl osed.I ntheki tchenwasnoone.
Mom knockedandnooner espondedandt hen
sheopenedt het rell
idorandwenti nsi
de
shoutingforMi soandKendr a, Ili
teral
lybanged
myhandagai nstmyf orehead.Icl osedthegat e
andwal kedi naf t
erher .
Mom:
Miso!Kendr
a!
Me:
thi
sist
respassi
ngy
ouknowt
hat
?
Her
:Mi
soi
smor
eorl
essmysoni
nlawchi
l
l
Carlywal
kedinwear ingshortshort
sandf li
p
fl
opsandacr opt op.Shehadamodel looki
ng
bodyandshewasal soanITwi z.Theymet
whenCl i
ck(Aya’shusband)wast eachi
ngMi so
howt ohackandst uffandtheyfel
lforeach
otherorwhatever…Idon’tr
eallycare.
 
Car
ly:
Whoareyou?Andwhatar
eyoupeopl
e
doi
nginmyhouse?
Mom:yourhouse?Chil
ddoy
ouhav
eanyi
dea
whoy
ouar etal
kingt
o?
Her:
woul
dIaski
fIdi
d?Thisistr
espassi
ng.I
coul
dhav
eyouar
rest
edforthi
s
Me: Car
lythisismymot herCandice,
she’s
Kendra’
sgr andmotherwhorefusestoleave
townwithoutseeinghergranddaughter
.Now
pleasepoi
ntust omydaught er
Car
lyl
ookedatme
Mom:
eyesov
erher
echi
l
d.Wher
ear
ethey
?
Carl
yjustf
oldedherar
mswithatt
it
udeand
mom pushedherasideandwenti
nfur
ther
shout
ingforMisoandKendr
a.
Car
ly:
you!
Me:lookmymot herhasamindofherownand
Iwouldsuggestt
hatyoust
ayoutofherway
Her
:inwhosehouse?
Me:
inmydaught
er’
shouse.Sopl
ease
Her
:yourdaught
er’
shouse?
Me:
ifany
oneher
eist
respassi
ng,
it’
syou.
 
Ipushedherasideandmademywayt ot he
backyard.Mydaughterl
ovesbei
ngoutsi
deand
I’
m pret
tycert
ainthat
’swheret
heywere.I
walkedinandshewaswi thhergr
andmother
chatt
ingupast or
m
Hi
m:but
ter
cup
I
mi:
mommy
Iwav edandshewav
edback.Misowasli
ter
all
y
drooli
ngoverme…Wher
ewast hatbi
tcht
o
witnessthi
s? 
Me:
shi
ftov
erIwannasi
t
Hi
m:comeondon’
tst
artdr
ama
Me:me?star
tdrama?Youhav
emeconf
used
wi
thyourf
uturewi
fey
Hechuckl
edandmov edov
ermaki
ngr
oom f
or
meonthepoolchai
r.
 
Hi
m:y
oul
ookst
unni
ngBut
ter
cup…asal
way
s
Me:
Ili
vet
olookst
unni
ng
HechuckledandIfoundmy sel
flaughi
ngtoo
unti
lweheardathroatcl
eari
ngandwebot h
l
ookedupandnot i
cedCarlyholdi
ngdrinksi
n
herhands
Her
: wouldyoul
i
kesomet
hingt
odr
ink
but
tercup?
Me:
not
hanky
ou.Ir
atherdi
eoft
hir
st
Mi
sopi
nchedmeandIgav
ehi
m adeat
hst
are
Hi
m:I
’
dli
kesome
Her
:youcangetoney
our
sel
f
Shesaidbangi
ngt
het
rayont
hesmal
ltabl
eand
st
orminginsi
de
Me:
you’
rei
ntr
oubl
e
Hi
m:she’
sbei
ngdr
amat
ic
Me:yeahwel
lyoubett
ergoaft
erher
.Idon’t
wannabethereasony
oulostt
helov
eofy our
l
if
e
Hechuckl
ed
Hi
m:y
out
heonl
yoneIr
unaf
ter
Me:fl
att
erywon’
tfi
xyour…whatev
ery outwo
cal
lwhatyoudoi
ng.Go,Kendr
awillbefi
ne
Him:sheandIwil
ltal
klat
er.Fornow,
I’
m
admir
inghowhotandbeautiful
andsexymy
babymamal ooks
Me:
stopt
ri
ppi
ngandgo
Hegotupl aughi ngandwenti nside.Iwat ched
mybabygi rlsplashinghergrandmot herwith
waterandgr andmal aughi
ngandsohappyand
caref
ree.Icouldn’thelpbutstealaf ewshor ts
ofthem.Ipost edthem onmyi nsta.Ileftmy
phoneont heseatandwentt ojoi
nt hem.Byt he
ti
meMi soandCar lywer ebackmom andIwer e
aswetasKendr aandwedi dn’tmind.
Kendr
a:Gr
andmaam Igoi
ngwi
thy
ou?
Wewer
eal
lsi
tt
ingi
nthel
ounge
Mom:nextt
imebaby
.Ihav
etof
lybackt
oNew
Yor
k
Me:honeyweagr
eedt
haty
ouwoul
dvi
sitdaddy
t
oday
I
mi:
butIwantt
ogowi
thy
ouandgr
andma
Me:I
mi weboughtyouclot
hesandt oy
stoplay
wi
thsothatyouwouldn’
tdothis.Canwenotdo
t
hiswhatev
erthi
sisbaby?Please
Ibegged 
Miso:
Wegoi ngtogoeatoutandthenwe’l
lgo
andplayintheparkt
omorrowmor ningand
havefun.Don’ty
ouwanttohav ef
unwi t
hdaddy?
Her:
Iwantt
ohavef
unwi
thdaddyandmommy
l
ikewedi
dtoday
CarlygaveMisoadeathstar
eandIjustr
oll
ed
myey es.Shewasovert
hinki
ngnothi
ng.Miso
didn’
tpayheranyatt
enti
on,i
nsteadhewas
focusedonbegginghi
sdaughtertost
aywith
them fort
herestoft
henight
Car
ly:
ok
Misopi
ckedherupandkissedhercount
less
ti
mes.Wetookthetimetoescapethem whi
le
shewastoobusylaughi
ngtoevennoti
ceus.
Wegotinthecaranddroveoff
Mom:
Whydoesn’
tshel
i
ket
hest
epmonst
er?
Me:Idon’
tknowwhy.Shejustdoesn’
tli
keher
;
she’
sneverr
eport
edanyt
hingbadaboutherto
mesoIdon’tknow
Her
:howdoy oufeel
aboutt
hel
oveofy
ourl
i
fe
marr
yingsuchawoman?
Me:
doesi
tmat
ter
?
Her:t
heguyi
ssl
eepingwi
thyouwhi
leheis
engagedt
obemarr
iedtoher
.soyesitmat
ter
s
Me:
itwasami
stakewhi
chwon’
thappenagai
n
Her
:that
’swhatweal
lsayhoney
Me:
mmmh… 
Her :
loveislovehoney.Youlovehi
m andhe
l
ov esyouandasl ongast hi
sloveyoutwo
shareisstil
lther
e,thenyoutwowil
l keephav
ing
theseepisodes
Me:
Idon’
twantt
olov
eMi
so
Her
:why
?
Me:Idon’
tknowMah.Ther e’
snothi
ngwrong
wit
hlovi
nghim oranyt
hingbutIj
ustwantt
o
l
iv
emyl if
ewithoutbei
ngdependentonhi
m
Her
:yout
woar
en’
ttoget
herandhepr
oposedt
o
somechi
ckbuthest
il
lcomest
hroughf
ory
ou
Me:
may
beIshoul
dleav
etownt
hen
Her
:andt
hat
’ssupposedt
odowhatmay
be?
Me:mom Idon’
tknow.Maybemakehi
mf or
get
aboutmeandmef or
getabouthi
m…Idon’
t
knowmom
Her:buty
oucan’
ttakeKendr
aawayf
rom her
f
ather
Me:
Idon’
twantt
otakeherawayf
rom hi
m but
mom
Her :fine.Dowhatmakesy ouhappy .Youhav ea
l
ifeher e; doy our eal
lywantt ost artanewone
elsewher e?Imeany ouhav eitallandstar
ti
ng
ov er,i
si treallywhaty ouwantt odowhen
ever yoney ouandKendr alovear ehere?Think
abouty ourdaught erandhowcr ushedshe’dbe
tol eav eherf atherbehind.Andev enso,doy ou
reallyt hinkt hatMi sowoul dlety ouleavewith
herdaught er?
Me:
Idon’
tknowmom
Her:hewoul
dn’
tev
enfi
ghtyou,he’
dfoll
owyou
t
otheendsofthewor
ldforhi
sdaughterand
you
Inodded…Wegott omypl aceandshedr opped
meof fwi t
hmyst uffandt henshedr ov eoff.I
don’ tknowi fyou’venoticedbutI ’m notbi gon
fri
endsespeci all
ynowt hatIhav eKendr a.Ari
hasal i
feofherownandsodoesmysi ster
whom Inev erseeandt hent here’sMi a’swho’ s
apr incessandi salwaysbusy …Myv arsity
fri
endswhi chIacqui r
edf r om Mi awer el efti
n
varsitysoy eah…Idon’ thav easoci al l
ife.Igot
i
nsi deandat emyl eft
ov ersandt hent hrew
my selfinf r
ontoft hetvandpr essedmyphone
wi t
hagl assofr edwine.Justt henIgotat ext
from Mi so’swhi chread: “ListenButt ercupi t
’s
nosecr etthatyouandIl ov eeachot herbutI
thinkit’
st imey ouandIst uckt onot hingbutco-
par enti
ngandbei nggoodpar entstoour
daught er.It’
snot hi
ngper sonal butaf t
ert odayI
j
ustwantt of ocusonmyr elationshipwi thCar ly
andmaket hingswor k.Afteral lshei smyf i
ancé
andIhat eseeingherunhappybecauseoft he
rel
ationshipweshar e.By e”Ichuckl ed.Thi swas
ajoker i
ght?Hecameont omeandnott he
otherwayr ound.Iwassopi ssedt hathewoul d
sendmesuch.Isenthi m myownt extwhi ch
read“ Nothingper sonal?Ni ggay out heonet hat
cameont omeandnott heot herwayr ound.
Youwannaf ocusony ourbi tch?Fine, stop
screwi ngmeandf ocusonherasy ouwantt o.
haveani celifeandletthisbet hel astti
mey ou
dot hi
sandl etourdaught erbet heonl yt hing
weev ertalkaboutorconnect sus.”Ipr essed
thesendbut tonandt hrewmyphoneont he
othercouch.Iwasbor derli
nepi ssed.Howdar e
he?Ov ertexteven?
.
.
ToBeCont
inued
*
[
05/
10,15:
56]Ron:
**THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#33
.
.
AsIwassi tt
inglikethatther
ewasaknockon
thedoor,Iwashesi t
antbutIgotupt oopenand
ont heot
hersideoft hedoorwasTr ist
on.I
stoodasideforhim andhewal kedinand
headedtothel ounge.WhenIgott herehewas
drinki
ngmygl assofwi ne.
Hi
m:Hey
Me:
hi
Hi
m:Iwasher
eear
li
eron
Me:
Iwentoutwi
thmymom
Hi
m:Idi
dn’
tknowshewasi
ntown
Me:
wasasur
pri
se
Hi
m:Ar
eyouseei
ngy
ourex?
Il
ookedathi
m wi
thar
aisedey
ebr
ow
Hi
m:i
t’
sasi
mpl
equest
ionYol
anda
Me:
lookI
’
m noti
nthemoodf
ort
his.
 
Hi
m:i
t’
stheonl
yexpl
anat
ionIcoul
dcomeup
wi
thf
oryouact
ingt
hewayyoudidear
li
eron
Me:
huh?
Iwassoconf
usedi
t’
snotev
enf
unny
. 
Him:oneminut
ewegoodandt
hensuddenl
y
youacti
ngsomety
peofway
Me:
getout
.
Hi
m:what
?
Me:
leav
emyhouse
Hi
m:y
ouov
err
eact
ing
Me:
Iam aski
ngy
out
opl
easel
eav
emyhouse
Hi
m:okI ’
m sor
ry.j
ustt
hatafri
endofmine
ment
ionedhesawMi soatyourworkt
heother
day
Me:he’
smydaught
er’
sfat
her
.Ofcausehe’
s
goi
ngtodr
opby
Hi
m:Iknow.I
’
m sor
ry.comeher
e
Hesai dwithhi
shandhel douttomeandIj ust
l
ookedati tandgrabbedt heremoteand
changedt hechannel.HeknowsIdon’troll
like
that…okmay beI’m stil
lmadaboutthetext
Mi sosentme.hegotupandnextt hi
ngIknowi t
niggaisbetweenmyl egstaki
ngmypant soff.
Me:
NO!
Hi
m:babecomeon
Me:
I’
m noti
nthemood
Hi
m:babeI
’
m sor
ry
Me:andIf
orgi
vey
oubutI
’
m noti
nthemoodf
or
sex
Her
aisedhi
shandsupinsur
renderandmov
ed
myl
egsandputthem ont
opofhim
Hi
m:Landat
alkt
ome
Me:
about
?
Hi
m:what
’sgoi
ngon?
Me:
not
hing
Hi
m:not
hat
’snott
rue
Me:ohwel
lbel
i
evewhat
every
ouwantt
o
bel
i
eve
Hi
m:I
’
llseey
ouar
ound
Hegotupandwal kedaway.Ifhewant edto
sulkthenhecangoaheadandsul k,Iai ntgoi
n
begmydaught erandthencomebackandbeg
agr ownassman.Hebangedt hedoorandIgot
upt olockthehouseandwentbackt owat ching
myt vandr eali
tyshowsunt ilmom calledtotell
meshewashomesaf e.Iwasaboutt ogo
upstairswhent hewasabangi ngont hedoor .I
gotupanddr aggedmyf eettowhoev erwas
try
nabr eakmydoordown.t omysur priseitwas
thewi t
chher self
.
Me:
whatdoy
ouwant
?
Her
:yougonnal
etmei
norwhat
?
Me:
unl
essy
ouher
eaboutmydaught
er,
no.
Shelookedatmef
rom headt
otoeandbackup
wit
hdisgust
Me:
BYE!
Her
:youbi
tch!
Me:
excuseme?
Her:ar
eyouincapabl
eofcl
osingyourl
egstoan
engagedman?Whyt hehel
lcan’
tyoustayaway
fr
om him?
Me:whenhestopsbeingmydaught
ersf
ather
I
’l
lst
ayaway.Unti
lthen…sor
ry
Her
:youbet
terbegr
atef
ult
her
e’st
hisbugl
er
bet
weenus
Me:
orwhat
? 
Her
:openandI
’
llshowy
ou
Iunlockedt hebugl erandletheri
nandf i
rst
thi
ngshedi dwast oslapme.Ilookedather.I
don’tknowwhoy ouar ebutaslapwill
piss
anyoneoff .Nowy a’l
lknowIcanf i
ghtformysel
f
andbeatt heshiitoutoft hi
sbitchbutIwon’t
. 
Me:
youdone?
Her
:ohsonowy
oudon’
tknowwhatt
osay
?
Me:Icoul dbeattheshi
itoutofyoubutyouare
gett
ingmar ri
edin2weeks’ ti
meandf oryour
sakeIr eal
lywantyoutolook….okony our
weddi ngdaywithgoodpicturesnextt
othe
handsomeMi sokuhl
e.Nowi fyoudoneyoucan
seey oursel
fout
Her
:I’
m done
Me:
thedoori
sri
ghtbehi
ndy
ouhoney
Her:no.ImeanI’
m donewit
hyou.I’
m donewi t
h
Miso.Iju…Ij
ustcan’
tdothi
sanymore.Ican’t
competewithyouandtodayhi
tthenai
lont he
head.Haveaniceli
fe
Shetookther
ingof
fandpl
acedi
tont
he
ki
tchencount
er.
Her
:you’
l
lgi
vei
ttoMi
sowheny
ouseehi
m.
Wi t
ht hatshet urnedonherheel sandwal ked
out.Sheseemedser iousanddoneIguess.I
thi
nki t’
ssaf etosayI ’
m ahomewr ecker…the
onet hingInev erthoughtI ’dbe.Iwassadf or
her,Ihat ethatIwouldputsomeonei nthat
positi
on.Soshe’ stheonet hatmet hetext
causeIt henshewoul dn’thavecomeher eifshe
wasn’ ttheonet osendi t.Misowoul dn’
tbeso
tacky.Ijustsatdownr egrett
ingwhatIhadput
Carlythrough.May bei twast imeIreall
ycutties
withMi soandst ayedawayf rom him andlet
himl i
v ehisli
fethewayhewant sto. 
ThenextdayIwokeupear lyandwentt
oMiso’
s
housewi tht
heri
ng.Iparkedmycarandwentto
knock,Iknowhe’sexer
cisingatthi
sti
meand
Imii
ssl eepi
ngandwill
besl eepi
ngfort
henext
hour.Heopenedthedoordr i
ppi
ngsweat
t
opl
ess.Ibi
tmyli
pinv
oluntar
y.Hewassohot
y
ouguys.Icl
ear
edmyt hr
oat.
Me:
hi
Hi
m:hey
Hest
eppedasi
deandl
etmei
n,Il
edt
hewayt
o
t
hepoolar
ea.
Me:
Car
lycamet
oseemel
astni
ght
Him:Isawthemessageshesenty ouandt he
oneyousentback.Icannotbel
i
evet hatyou
wouldthi
nkthatIwoulddosomethingliket
hat
overatext
.Ithoughty
ouknewmeYol anda
Ikeptquiet
.Hewasbor
derl
inemad, It
hinkhe
wasmadatmeandatev er
ythi
ngthat
happened.Iat
tempt
edtospeakbuther ai
sed
hishandmakingmeshutupashewasnot
donetalki
ng.
Him:wehavea6-year-
olddaughtert
ogether
andI’
veknownyoufor9y earsnowandsame
goesfory
oume.I’
dt hi
nkt haty
ou’dknowme
bynowbutclear
lyyoudon’
t.Whenhav
eyou
knownmet osaysuchthi
ngsvi
aatext
messagehuh?
Me:
Ithoughtt
haty
ouwer
etheonet
hatsenti
t
Him:evenifthat’
swhatyouthoughtYol
anda,
youknowCar lyhasaccesstomyphoneandfor
youtoputitsoblunt
lythatwehadsex…see
t
hatrightt
here
Me:Idi
dn’
tnotaskyoutohav
esexwi
thme
Mi
so.Youtheonethatcameont
ome
Him:becausenomat terhowhardItr
ytost
ay
awayfrom you,
Ijustcan’t
.Car
lyl
eftme
Me:
I’
m sor
ry.shesai
dtogi
vey
out
his
Him: Ishoul dbehurti
ngandbeggi ngherto
comebackbutIcan’ t.All
Icanthi
nkaboutis
yesterday ’
ssession.Thisholdyouhaveover
meYol anda.It’
snotright,i
t’
snotnormalandas
l
ongasy ouar einmyl i
fethewayyouareIwil
l
neverf i
ndl ove.Iwil
lneverbeinastabl
e
rel
ationshipbecauseyouarewhoIliv
efor.I
can’tconvinceyoutobewithmeandknowi ng
thatyoudon’ twantt
obewi t
hmet earsme
apartsot omaket hi
ngseasierf
orbothofus.
I’
ml eaving
Me:
What
?
Him:Car
lyl
eavi
nggavemeti
met oref
lecton
myli
feandever
ythi
ngandmeleavi
ngisfort
he
best
Me:
andwhatabouty
ourdaught
er?
Him:
she’
llfl
ytomeev er
yhol
idayandIwi
l
l
comevi
sitherev
eryoneweekendamonth
Ididn’
tsayanythi
ng.Icoul
dn’tsayanythi
ng.I
wasdumbst ruck,howcouldhe?Igetithe’
s
hurti
ngbutforhimt oj
ustupandl eav
e?that’
s…
that’
snotfai
r.It
shuge!
Me:
I….
Hi
m: I
’
vealreadyf
oundajobi
nSout
hAf
ri
caand
I
’l
lbestar
ti
ngnextmont
h
Ikeptquietsti
l
lnotknowi
ngwhattosay.SAi
s
28fli
ppinghoursaway.Whatdoeshermeanhe
wil
lvisi
teveryoneweekendamonth?I
swall
owedt helumponmyt hr
oat.
.
.
ToBeCont
inued
[
05/
10,15:
56]Ron:
**THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#34
.
.
Not hi
ngIsaidmadehi m st
ay.It’
sbeenamont h
sinceheleftandhecallshi
sdaught ereveryday
tocheckuponherandwhenIcal lhi
mi thasto
beaboutImi orelsethecal
liscutshort.Il
aid
myhear toutonmysl eevesforhim andhe
wasn’tbotheredatall
,hesai
dt hi
swaswhat
wasbestf orhim andIandthatIcouldgett o
focusonmyr el
ati
onshi pwi t
hTr istonandhe
wi l
ltrytof i
ndhimsel f.Nev erinmyl i
fehav eI
ev erbeent hisheartbrokenbutIguesst here
wasnot hingIcoul ddoabouti tatal l
.Iwas
mi serablebutwhatwasIt odor eally?Ihad
madeaf ri
endi nthisperiodofmyl oneli
ness,
somewomannamedMar cyOy iyo,shewas
from Ni geri
abutshef ini
shedherdegr eethis
side.Idon’ tknowwej ustcl i
ckedf rom theget
go.Sheal sohasadaught ermyageandshei s
mar r
iedtoasal esr epofsomesor t.Itwasa
Sat urdayandwewer emeet i
ngupf ordrinks.
TristonandIhav ebeengood, we’ v
egr own
closerIguessbuthest i
l
l hasn’tbeen
i
nt roducedt omydaught erandhe’ sbeen
pressur i
singmet omakeani ntro.Isatdown
opposi teMar cy
Her
:asbeaut
if
ulasy
ouar
e,y
ouseem st
ressed
Me:
thatobv
ioushuh?
Her
:pr
ett
ymuch
Shehadal
readyorder
edforusabott
leofwine.
IdownedmyglassatonegotheminuteIsat
down
Her
:tal
ktome,
what
’sgoi
ngon?
Me:
Tri
stoni
nsi
stsonmeet
ingKendr
a
Her
:andy
oudon’
twanthi
mtoj
usty
et?
Me: no.mydaught erismyl i
feandTr ist
onis
j
ustapar tofmyl if
ey ouknow.heandIhav e
onlybeent ogetherfor6mont hsandme
i
ntroducingt hetwooft hem woul dfeell
ikeI’m
rushingintothings.Kendra’sfatherl
eftamont h
agoandf ormet obecomi ngtoherandt r
ying
tointroduceanot herfat
herfigurewhenshe
alr
eadyhasone…i t’
sjusttooqui ckyouknow
Her :Iwon’tl
ieIdon’tknowwhaty ougoing
throughbutasamot herandparentIdohear
you.I nt
roduci
ngy ourgi r
lchi
ldtoyournew
partnercan’tpossiblybeeasywi t
hallthese
stori
esaboutst epf athersandboyfr
iendsand
stuffcircul
ati
ngtoday .Youwantwhat ’sbest
andatt hesamet i
mey oucan’tf
orcey our
selfto
i
ntroducet hetwooft hem al
lbecausehei s
readyt omeether .youast heparentneedt o
thi
nkofy ourdaughterandy ouneedt obe
certainthatthi
smani stheoney ouwantt o
keepi nyourlif
ebecausenowwhathappens
wheny ouandhi m breakup?6mont hsistoo
l
ittl
eofat i
mef oryout orushint
ointroducti
ons
andi fTrist
onhadachi ldofhi
sownhewoul d
under st
andt hat
Me:
thanksbabe
Her:stopstressi
ngov
erthi
s.heei
ther
understandsandseethi
ngsfr
om yourvi
ewor
takethehighway
Me:andIdon’
tmi ndkicki
nghiminthecur
ve.I
don’
tneedthi
s.Ididn’
tsignupfort
his
Her
:ofcausey
oudi
dn’
t
Me:enoughwit
hmydr ama.What
’snewwit
h
you?You’
vebeendr
inkingl
i
keafi
sheversi
nceI
satdown
Her
:yester
dayay
oungl
adyar
ound21r
ocked
upi
nmyhousewi t
hanewbor
nbabycl
aimi
ng
i
tsChri
s’
s
Me:
I’
m sor
rywhat
?
Her :
hedidn’
tdenyit
.sai
dhe’sknownfrom
sinceshewaspregnantandhewouldlikemet
o
takeinthechi
ldasmyownandmot herit
becausehewant shi
schil
drenundert
hesame
roof
Me:andhereIwasthi
nkingIhavereal
pr
oblems.Sowhatdidyoudecide?
Her:Ican’tr
aiseanotherwoman’
schil
d.Iknow
Iwouldn’twantanotherwomandoingmyjob
forme
Me:
wher
eist
hegi
rlnow?
Her:don’
tknowanddon’ tcar
e.Theycanpl ay
happyfamil
yforal
lIcare.Iam notcutouttobe
astepmom Landa.Ijustcan’
t.Idi
dn’teven
wanttogonearthebabyshewascar ry
ing.I
t
ookmyt
hingsandl
eft
Herdaughtersleptov
eratmyplacelastni
ght
…
she’
sbeenher ethewholeweekactual
lyandI
’m
okwiththatbecauseherdaught
eri
sahumbl e
angel
.
Me: Iam thelastpersontogi
v eadvi
ceinthi
s
si
tuationbuty ou’
reanamazingpersonMar cy
andIt hi
nky oucandoi t
.Imeany ou’v
ebeen
wit
hChr isforsolongandt othrowitall
awayall
becauseoft his
Her
:thi
sisal
otLanda.I
t’
stoomucht
otakein.
I
fyouwerei
nmyshoeswhatwereyougoingto
do?
Me: r
ememberwear etwodi f
ferentpeople.IfI
wereyouIwouldpackupmyt hingsandleav e
becauseIcanneverbesomeone’ sstepmot her
.
WhatifImistr
eatthechi l
dunintent
ional
ly orthe
chi
ldfeel
sli
keI’mtreatinghim orherunfairly
comparedtomyown.Imeant here’saloty ou
oughttoconsi
deriny oursit
uati
onandal soy ou
don’
twantt
othr
owal
lthosey
ear
saway
 
Her:cl
earlyhedi
dn’tthi
nkoft
hoseyearswhen
hewasi nchesdeepinsi
deofherwi
thouta
condom
Me:
didy
ouatl
eastl
ethi
m expl
ain?
Her
:expl
ainwhyhewasunabletokeephi
sdi
ck
i
nsi
dehispant
s?I’
m notani
diotLanda
Me:
I’
m sor
rymyf
ri
end
Her
:whatcanonedoany
way
?
Me:oksoweneedtogetyourmindoffofthi
s
soI’
mthi
nkingwepackanover
nightbagandfly
toNewYork.We’
l
lbebackMondaymor ning
Her
:andt
heki
ds?
Me:Ihaveast
ayi
nnannysoshoul
dn’
tbea
pr
oblem
Her
:seemsl
ikesomet
hingy
ou’
vebeenwant
ing
t
odoinages
Ichuckl
edbecausei
twassomet
hingI
’
vebeen
want
ingt
odobutIdi
dn’
thav
eaper
sont
ogo
wi
th
Me:
yeahwel
l
Shel
aughed
Her
:thenl
et’
sgopack
Me:
aft
ert
hisgl
ass
Isai
dfini
shingther estofmygl assandhai l
eda
wait
erover.Ipaidandt henwewentt oour
housesseparately
.WhenIwal kedinthekids
wereplay
ingint hepool spl
ashingeachot her
l
ookingallki
ndsof fcute.Igr
eet edandthen
wentuptomyr oom andont hewayIcal led
Tri
ston
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:beaut
if
ul
Me:I’
m goi
ngt
oNYf ort
heweekendandI
’
llbe
backMondaymor
ning
Hi
m:y
ouaski
ngmeort
ell
i
ngme?
Me:
shoul
dIbeaski
ngy
ou?
 
Hi
m: Yol
anday
oumygir
lf
ri
end.Youcan’
tjust
upandleav
ewhenev
ery
oufeell
ikei
t
Me: wenotmar
ri
edTrist
on.Metel
l
ingyouwas
tojusti
nfor
myouthatIwon’
tbeavai
l
ablet
hat
’s
all
Him:younotbei
ngf
airYol
anda.I
sthi
sbecause
ofyest
erday
Me:
notatal
l
.By
eTr
ist
on
Hi
m:Landacomeon.Whataboutt
hepl
ansI
madef
orus?
Me:
I’
m sor
ry,
we’
l
lhav
etopost
ponef
ornext
t
ime
*
**EndofPc*
**
Hej ustdr
oppedthecallonmeandIwasnot
goingtobeghim.Iam sorrybutIdon’tpl
ayl
ike
thatandheknowsi t
.JustasIwaspacki nga
callcamethrough,
Ithoughti
twasTr i
stonbuti
t
wasToby .Iwasshockedtoseehi snamepop
uponmyscreenbecausewel
l
…Ihav
en’
tseen
theguyi
nages
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:Red
Me:
Tobi
as
Hi
m:howar
eyou?
Me:
I’
m okandhowar
eyou?
Hi
m:I
’
m good.Beenages
Me:yeahwel
lyoujustup’
dandl
eftwi
thno
r
easonorwhatsoever
Hi
m:Ihadto.Icoul
dn’
twat
chy
oucar
ryanot
her
man’
sbabyRed
Me:
oh
Him:yeah.Butt
hat
’sal
li
nthepastnow,
I’
m
engaged
Me:
wowt
hat
’sgr
eatnews.That
’sgoodt
ohear
Hi
m:y
eahandt
heweddi
ngi
snextweekend.
SheandImetwhenIl
eftLA
Me:
wow.I
’
m happyf
ory
ou
Hi
m:t
hanky
ou.I
’
dreal
l
yli
kef
ory
out
ocome
Me:
mydetail
shaven’
tchangedsoy
ou’
l
lemai
l
methei
nvi
tat
ion
Hi
m:t
hanky
ou.Hav
eyouspokent
osunshi
ne?
Me:
no.why
?
Hi
m:y
oushoul
dcal
lher
Me:Idon’
thav
ehernumber
.Shecutal
lti
es
wi
thmewhensheleft
Hi
m: sheshoul
dbei
nLA.Shesai
dshewas
t
herewhenwespoke
Me:
shehasn’
tdr
oppedby
Hi
m:oh…She’
syourl
i
ttl
esi
sterr
ed
Me:
Iknow
Hi
m:shest
il
lneedsy
ou
Me:
ifsheneededmet
henshewoul
dhav
e
v
isi
tedme
Hi
m:Red
Me:
Tobypl
easedon’
t 
Hi
m:f
ine.How’
sthel
i
ttl
eone?
Me:
growi
ng.Beaut
if
ul.l
ovel
y…she’
sev
ery
thi
ng
Hi
m:Icani
magi
ne.I
’
llt
alkt
oyouagai
nok
Me:
yeahsur
e.Thanksf
ort
hecal
l
Hi
m:ofcause.By
eRedandgr
eett
hel
i
ttl
eone
f
orme
Me:
wil
ldo
*
**EndofPC*
**
Isti
llcoul
dn’tbeli
evethatTobyhadcal ledme.
andhewasget ti
ngmar ri
ed.Whowoul dhav e
thought?Nonoti nthatwaybutwhowoul dhave
thoughtthathekeptmynumberal l
t hesey ear
s
andnev erthoughttouseit.Iwasstartl
edbymy
babyhuggingmyl egsdri
ppingwet.
Her
:mommy
Me:
heyhoney
Her
:wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
Ichuckl
edatt
hewepartbecauseIknowhow
muchsheenjoyst
rav
ell
i
ng
Me:
mommyi
sgoi
ngt
oNewYor
k
Her
:wi
thoutme?
Me:
yes
Her
:andwher
ewi
l
lIgo?
Me:
youcanst
ayher
ewi
thBecky
Her
:can’
tIgot
oYay
ainst
ead?
Me:
andwhataboutPeggy
?
Her
:shecancomewi
th.Yay
awon’
tmi
nd
Me:wewil
lhavetocal
lYay
afi
rstandf
indout
whatshet
hinks
Her
:fi
ne.Cal
lhernow
Idi
all
edYaya’
snumberandshewasokt obaby
si
thergr
anddaught
erandherf
ri
end.Iended
t
hecal
l
Her
:It
oldy
ou
Me:
yeahwhat
eversmar
ty.Youcangonow
Her
:daddyi
sonhi
sway
Me:
whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Her
:hesai
dhe’
scomi
ngt
oseeme
Me:ohthat
’sgood.I
’
m sur
eyoucan’
twai
tto
seehi
m
Her:hesayshewantst
ot akeusout.howwi
l
l
daddytakeusouti
fyouinNewYor k?
Me:
Iguesswe’
l
lhav
etogooutsomeot
her
t
ime
Her
:Iguess
Me:
don’
tsul
kyoul
ookl
i
keadog
Shel
aughedandsodi
dI.WhatgamewasMi
so
pl
ayi
ngat?
.
.
ToBeCont
inued
[
05/
10,15:
56]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#35
.
.
Thegi r
lscleanedupandIdr oveust oYay a’
s
housecal l
i
ngMar cytotellhert omeetatt he
ai
rportinstead.Igotthereandpar kedandwent
i
nsideandYay awasi ntheki tchenpreparing
somet hi
ng.itsmel tgoodt hat’
sf orsure.Kendr
a
wast hefir
stonei nandherf ri
endwasr i
ght
behindher, whenIgotint hegi r
lswer en’
tinthe
ki
tchenany mor e
Me:
Mah
Weshar
edahug
Her
:hel
l
omybaby
Webr
okei
t
Me:
howar
eyou?Youl
ookgoodasal
way
s
Shegi
ggl
edandl
ookedather
sel
f
Her:
thanky
ou.It
ry.I
’
m goodnanaandhowar
e
you?
 
Me:
alsogood
Her:
y oulookgreatbytheway.Iseet
his…
whateveryouandMi soaredoi
ngorwer edoi
ng
hasleftyouwit
ht hi
sbeauti
ful
glowup
Ichuckl
ed.Thi
swomanandhernotsof
unny
j
okes
Me:
ohcomeonMah
Her:Ist
il
lbel
i
evet
hatthet
woofyouwil
l
somedayenduptoget
herandl
i
vehappi
lyev
er
aft
er
Me:
doeshappyev
eraf
terr
eal
l
yexi
stnowaday
s
Her
:I’
m happy
Me:
andI
’
m si
ngl
eandhappy
Her
:notr
eal
l
yconv
inci
ng.What
’sgoi
ngon?
Me:
not
hingYay
a
Her
:youknowy
oudon’
tfool
me
Me:
feel
swei
rdt
alki
ngt
oyouaboutt
his
Her
:comeon
Me:
myboy
fri
endwant
stomeetKendr
a
Her
:andy
oudon’
twanthi
mto?
Me:i
t’
snotthatIdon’
twanthi
mto,butIfeel
l
ikei
t’
swaytoosoont obedoi
ngthat
.Kendra
hasafat
herandshedoesn’
tneedanotherone
Her:butbabyi
t’
snotevenabouthi
m want
ingt
o
f
atherher.hej
ustwant
stobemor einv
olv
edin
yourli
fe
Me:evenso.Idon’
tthi
nkIwanthimtobe
i
nvol
vedinthatpar
tofmylif
ejustyet
.Ithas
onl
ybeen6mont hs
Her
:ImetKy
lewhenhewasonl
y3mont
hs
Igasped.Iknewshet
ookhi
minbutdamnshe
coul
dn’
twai
thuh
Her:hearmeoutok, Melowast heonewho
wantedmet omeethi m andasmuchasI
wasn’treadybutt hatal
onedet erminedwhere
MeloandIwer egoingwi t
hourr elat
ionshi
p.
YouseeIal readyknewIwant edt obei nMelo’
s
l
ifefortherestofmyl if
eandi fthatmeant
meet i
nghissonandaccept i
nghi mt hensobeit.
Idon’tseethepoi ntofdati
ngfort hesakeof
havi
ngsomeonet oshag…butt henagai nI
’m
oldschool l
i
ket hat
Me:sowhaty ouaresay
ingist
hati
fIdon’tsee
afut
urewithhimthenIshoul
dn’
tputKendrain
t
hemi ddl
eofit?
Her:
yes.ImeansayKendr ali
keshi
m andthen
amonthdownt helinethi
ngsend,t
henwhat?
Youknowy ourdaughteri
sveryi
nquisi
ti
ve
Me:
Iknow
Her:t
hinkaboutwhat
’sbestfory
ouandyour
daughterandi
fthei
ntroduct
ioni
swort
hitor
not
Me:
thanksYay
a
Shepul
l
edmei
nforahug
Her
:any
timebaby
Webr
okei
t
Me:
Ishoul
dgo
Her:
didMisot
ell
yout
hathewascomi
ngt
his
si
deforaweek
Me:nopebutKendr
ament
ionedt
hathewas
comingt
hissi
de
Her:
y eahhe’
sdoi
ngsomehi
-t
echwhat
-what
andtheyyeah
Me:
that
’sgoodf
orhi
m Iguess
Her:
Yolandawhenwill
youstopthi
s?thi
sy ou
andhim pl
ayi
nggames?It
’spret
tycl
earthat
youtwoloveeachot
her
Me:mahIt
riedever
ythi
ngtomakehim staybut
hewasdet
erminedonleav
ing.It
ryt
alki
ngto
him aboutusbuthedi
smi
ssest
het
opi
cjust
l
ikethat
Her:Iwon’ tmakeanyexcusesf orhisbehav iour
towardsy oubutf rom whathehast oldme, y ou
theoneher ewhocan’ tseem todeci dedwhatI t
i
sy ouwant .LandaIl ov eyouasmy
granddaught er’s 
mot herandIwoul dr eall
ylike
toseey ouendupwi thmysonbutatt hesame
ti
meunt i
lyouf igureoutwhati tisyour eall
y
wantt heny ouandMi socan’ treall
ybeany thing.
Idon’tbeli
ev eint hiswhol efr
iendswi t
hbenef i
ts
thi
ngandal soIdon’ tbel i
eveinwhat everyou
andMi sower edoi ngbecausesomeoneends
uphur torcaughtupi nt hecrossf i
reandr ight
nowIdon’ twantmygr andbabycaughtup.Fi x
yourli
feandl etMi sof ixhisbef oreyouandhi m
cantrywhat everitisy out wot hinkcoul dwor k
out
Me:
Iheary
ouMah
Her
:good.Nowt
rav
elsaf
elyandhav
esaf
efun
Shesaidhuggi
ngmeandpl
antedaki
ssonmy
cheekandthenbr
oket
hehug
Me:
ByeMah
Iwalkedtotheloungeandthegi
rl
swereplay
ing
withgrandpaBessandMJwasal sother
ewith
hisdad.I’
m guessi
ngtheyweredi
scussi
ng
Bess.Igreet
edandkissedthegi
rl
sgoodbye
andthenleftf
ortheair
port
.Weboardedand
thenlanded.
NewYor kwasamazi ngIdidn’
twantt ocome
backbutl i
fehadtogoonr i
ght?Ihadami ssed
call
from anunknownnumberandIdi dn’
tget
backt oitbecausetherearesomecr eeper
sout
ther
e.TobysentmeI v
y ’
snumberandI ’
m glad
tosayt hatsheandIar eworki
ngonour
rel
ati
onshi pandwegood.Shei sengagedt obe
marriedandIhav enotmetherf i
ancéy etbut
shesai dshewouldbr inghi
mt oToby ’
swedding
becausehewasawayonbusi nessandsheal so
hasn’tmetmyboy f
riendbutI’
m planni
ngon
i
nt roduci nghert ohim soon.Wewer eslowl ybut
sur elygoi ngbackt ot hesi stersweoncewer e
andIwon’ tlieIwashappyt or evi
v eour
relationshi p.Mi sowasi nt ownandheand
Kendr awasl ivingwithhi mf orthet imehei s
her e.ItwasonaTuesdayandIhadj ustgot ten
backf rom wor k.Mar cydeci dedshewasgoi ng
todi vorceherhusbandbecauseshei snotcut
outf orpl ay i
ngst epmommyandIwaswi thher
ev eryst epoft heway .Ther ewasaknockont he
doorandIgotupandwor emysl eeper sand
wentt ogeti t,i
twasal r
eadyl atesoIdon’ tget
whowoul dbeher eatt hist i
me…i twaspast8
buty ougetmypoi ntoft hewhol enotusedt o
visitor’
st hingy .Iopenedt hedoorandMi sowas
standi ngont heothersi de.Iwon’ tli
eIhav en’t
seenhi m si ncehecameback, we’ veonly
spokenont hephonewhenhesai dhewoul d
comebyt of etchImi andt henIwasatwor kand
thenannywasathomet hensoy est hiswasour
fi
rstt imemeet ingsincel astmont h.It
hinkwe
spentabout5mi nutesj
usttaki
ngineachot her
mentall
yandt hi
nkingwhatwewoul dsaytot he
other
.Hest i
l
llookedhotormay beevenbetter
thanwhenIsawhi m ormay beit
’sbecauseI
haven’
tseenhi minamont h…arghIdon’tknow
anymore. 
Me:
hi
Hi
m:heyBut
ter
cup
OnlyYaya’sf
amilycallsmethatnowthathe’
s
goneandt ohavehim standbefor
emeandl et
thenamehehasf ormeandonl ymeroleoutof
hismouthjustl
i
ket hatisenoughtomakemy
mindtravelt
oaf arfarawayplacewhenhefir
st
gavemet hename.
Me:
uhhm…pl
easecomei
n
Isai
dstandingasi
deandhewal
kedi
ncl
osing
thebugl
erbehindhi
m andt
henwest
oodther
e
i
nawkwar dness.
Hi
m:howhav
eyoubeen?
Me:
I’
vebeenok…andhowhav
eyoubeen?
Thatwasnotevenaquesti
onbuti
tfel
tri
ghti
n
themomentcauselooki
ngathi
m he’
sbeen
doinggr
eati
nSA.
Hi
m:I
’
m okt
oo.Youl
ookgood
Il
ookeddowntomybunnysl eeper
s,mypjay
shor
tsandtheunbut
tonedshir
tIwaswearing
andthenbackupathi
m.Hewaski ddingme
ri
ght
?WhatdoeshemeanIl ookedgood?
Me:
thanks.CanIgety
ousomet
hingt
odr
ink?
Ihadmygl
assi
nmyhandandt
ookaqui
cksi
p
ofit
Hi
m:not
hanks.Ar
eyoubusy
?
Me:
when?
Hi
m:now?
Me:
Ijustgotbackf
rom wor
kMi
so
Hi
m: Iseet
hat
.Canwegooutf
ordi
nnerand
t
alk?
Me:canweorderi
nandt
alk?Idon’
tfeel
li
ke
dr
essingup
Hi
m:I
’
mfi
newi
thwhat
every
ouwant
Me:
Pizzaorbur
ger
s?
Hi
m:pi
zza
Me:
sur
e
Itookmyphoneandcal
ledt
hepizzahuband
thenaf
tert
hecal
lIwenttof
indhi
mi nthe
l
oungepressi
nghi
sphone.
Me:
itwi
l
lbeher
ein30mi
nut
es
Hi
m:cool
Isatdownont hecouchnexttotheonenextto
him.Ican’
ttr
ustthatwewon’tdoany t
hingi
fI
si
tont hesamecouchashim especial
lywhen
helooksthi
sgoodandsmel l
st hi
sheavenly
. 
Me:
yousur
eyoudon’
twantany
thi
ngt
odr
ink?
Hi
m:dr
yredi
fyouhav
eany
Me:
ofcause
Iwal
kedouttotheki
tchenandpour edhim and
gl
assandthenasIwasabouttowal kinthe
l
oungethewasaknockont hedoor .Iputthe
gl
assonthetabl
einthepassageandwentt o
gett
hedoorandther
est oodTri
ston.Godki l
l
meNOW!
Hi
m:heybeaut
if
ul
Me:
Tri
stonhi
Iwasal i
t t
lescepti
caltoopenbutIhadno
choi
ceorel seIwoul dbehidingsomet hingfr
om
hi
m…wel lIam hidi
ngt hi
sfrom him butnow
he’
sher eand…OhGodhel l
wi l
lbreakloose.I
openedt hedoorwi derandlethimin.he
huggedmeandIgav ehim acoldhug.Iwas
pani
cking
Hi
m:noki
ss?
Me:
sor
rybabe
Ipl
antedakissonhisl
i
psbuthemadei tgo
deeperwhi
l
ehol di
ngmywaistt
ight
lyandthen
hebr
okei
t.
Hi
m:y
oul
ookador
abl
e
Me:t
hankyou.Youdi
dn’
tment
iony
ouwer
e
comi
ngover
Hi
m: Idi
dn’
tknowIneededt
orepor
ttoseemy
gi
rl
fr
iend
Me:
youdon’
tit
sjus…
Him:si
ncewhendoy
oudr
inkdr
ywi
ne?Doy
ou
haveavisi
tor
?
“
But
ter
cupwehav
etogo.I
tsI
mishe’
s….
”
Het
rai
l
edof
fwhenhesawTr
ist
on.OhGodki
l
l
me!
 
.
.
[
05/
10,15:
56]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#36
.
.
Themi nuteIhear
dmydaught er’
snameI
couldn’tcarel
essaboutthesetwoguys
standinginmyki t
chen.Ibrokeawayfr
om
Trist
on’ sgri
pandturnedtoMisowait
ingf
or
hi
mt ocont i
nue.
Tr
is:
Idi
dn’
tknowy
ouhadcompany
Mi
so:
Ithoughty
ousai
dyoudi
dn’
thav
epl
ans
Theyspokeatthesameti
me.ifIwasn’
tworr
ied
aboutmydaughterI
’dpr
obabl
yattendt
hem
bothbutnotnow.
Me:
what
’swr
ongwi
thKendr
a?
Miso:Ij
ustgotacal
lfr
om mom sayi
ngshehad
torushKendrat
othehospi
tal
,shewoul
dn’
t
stopcry
ing
Me:
thenwhatt
hehel
lar
ewewai
ti
ngf
or?
Isai
dgoi
ngt
othel
ounget
otakemyphoneand
wall
etandthenmetupwithMisooutsi
deand
Tr
ist
onstandingi
ntheki
tchenwhereIlef
thi
m
Hi
m:soy
ouj
ustgoi
ngt
oleav
ewi
thhi
m?
Me:
Idon’
thav
eti
mef
ort
his.
Iwalkedtothedoorandhegr abbedmyar m as
Iwasaboutt owal
kout .It
urnedtolookathi
m
pissed.Mydaughteri
sinhospitalandhehas
thenervetoactupnowofal lti
mes
Me:
remov
eyourhandnow!
Iwasver
ycal
m.Hel
ookedatmeandthenback
athi
shandonmyar
m andremov
edit
Hi
m:Idon’
tbel
i
evey
ou
Hewal kedoutandIl ockedandheadedt o
Miso’
scarandwedr oveoff
.Ikeptrubbingmy
handwher eTristonhadheldme, Inevernoti
ced
howtighthisgr i
pwasunt i
lnow.it’
sactuall
y
pai
nful andi
tleftmepi nk
Mi
so:
youok?
Me:
yeahI
’
mfi
ne
Hi
m:y
oukeepr
ubbi
ngy
ourar
m But
ter
cup
Me:
it’
snot
hingMi
so
Hel ookedatmeonceandbackatt heroad.We
parkedi nf
rontoft
hehospi
talandIraninsi
de
withMi sobehindmeandwefoundYay ainthe
recepti
onwi t
hMrBesspacingupanddown
Me:
Wher
eisshe?Whathappened?
 
Yaya:t
hedoctorisst
il
lwit
hher.Idon’
tknow,
oneminuteshe’sokandthenextshe’
scryi
ng
sayi
ngitspai
nfuli
nhertummy
Idon’
tknowwhati tcouldbebecauseI mi
doesn’
thaveanyaller
giesIknowaboutor
anyt
hingthatcoul
dmakehert hi
ssick.Idon’
t
eventhi
nkit’
sastomachbug.Yay awas
fr
ustr
atedandsowasI ,Misostoodbehindme
andrubbedmyshoul ders
Hi
m:she’
sgoi
ngt
obeok
Me:
wedon’
tev
enknowwhat
’swr
ongwi
thher
Hi
m:butshe’
sgoi
ngt
obeok.don’
twor
ryok
Heki ssedmyhead.Iwasget tingimpat i
ent
wai t
ingont hi
sdoctorwhor efusest oshowup
already .awhileorabouttwohour sl atert
he
doct orcameandt ol
dust hatshehasul cers.
Howt hef **kdoesa6y earoldgetul cers?It
didn’tmakeanysense.Heexpl ainedt he
possi blecausesandt heonlyonet hatmade
senset omewast heaciddrinkst hingbecause
mybabyl ovesaci
dsandi tdon’ tmat terhow
manyt imesy outrytostopherort hreatenher
shest i
l
l f
indsawayt oobtainthem.Ibur i
edmy
facei nmyhands
Me:
isshegoi
ngt
obeok?
Dr:
asl
ongasshest ay
sawayfrom aci
dsand
spi
cyt
hings,
sheshouldbef
ine
Inoddedwit
hmyf acest
il
lbur
iedi
nmyhands.I
wasf r
ust
rat
edbecauseshe’
stooyoungt
oli
ve
l
ikethi
s. 
Mi
so:
canweseeher
?
Dr
:yes,
butonl
yforaf
ewmi
nut
es
Ir
emov
edmyhandsf
rom myf
ace
Me:
Iam notl
eav
inghersi
de.
Dr
:Mi
ssGr
aha…
Me:doct
orIam notgoi
ngany
wher
eunt
ilIknow
mydaughteri
sok
Mi
so:
pleaseshowust
oherr
oom
Drnoddedandl edtheway .It
houghtwe’df
ind
hersleepingbutinsteadshewaswat chi
ng
cart
oonont v.knowinghersheprobably
manipulatedanur setoputthoseonforher.I
smil
edandj oinedherinbedpull
inghertome
andkissinghernonest op
Me:
don’
tyouev
erscarmel
i
ket
hat
Her
:sor
rymommy
Yay
a:y
ouhaduswor
ri
edt
her
e
Her
:Idi
dn’
tmeant
oNi
no
Me:
itsok.y
ou’
reoknow
Wesatandshet ol
dmewhathappened,
how
ever
ythi
ngstar
tedandhowshewasfeel
ing.
Shewaslaughi
ngathowYayapani
cked.
Her
:mommywhathappenedt
oyourar
m?
Me:
wher
e?
Her
:her
e
Shesaidt ouchingmyar m andIlookedathow
pi
nkitwas.It houghtthataftersometimethe
pi
nknesswoul dhavebeengonebynowbut
nope…i twasst il
lpi
nkandIst i
llver
ymuchhad
hi
sfingersonmyar m.Ididn’tknowIbrui
sed
easi
ly.IsawMi so’sfacechangesamet imeand
Ij
ustknewwhatwasgoi ngtogodown.
Me:
it’
snot
hingbaby
Mi
so:
hedi
dthat
?
Yay
a:who?
Me:
guy
sI’
mfi
ne.Mi
so,
I’
m ok
Ij
ustpul
l
edmybabycl
osert
omeandchanged
thesubj
ecttosomethingel
sebutMisowas
verymuchfaraway.YayaandMelosaidthei
r
goodbyesandlef
tmewi thanunhappyMiso
andasleepi
ngbeauty.Hepull
edmyar m and
l
ookedatit
Me:
don’
tdoany
thi
ngst
upi
d
Hi
m:doeshehi
tyou?
Me:
no.hej
ustgr
abbedme,
itwasn’
tint
ent
ional
Hi
m:he’
sgoi
ngt
opayf
ort
his
Me:
Misopl
ease.
Hedidn’trespondandj ustletmebe.Idon’ t
knowwhenIf el
l asleepbutwhenIwokeuphe
wasgone.Ij ustknewwher ehewas,Itr
ied
cal
li
nghi m buthedi dn’tansweranyofmycal ls.
GodMi sowi l
lbet hedeat hofmeIswear .Inthe
morningIcalledinatwor ksayingIwouldcome
i
nlatebecausemydaught erwasinhospi t
al
andwoul dbedi schargedt odayintheaf
ter noon.
Misowal kedinwi thafewbr ui
sesonhisf ace.
I
mi:
daddywhathappenedt
oyourf
ace?
Him:i
t’
snothi
ngbabygi
rl
.j
ustr
eact
ingt
o
somethi
ngIate
Iknewt
hatheandTr
ist
onwentati
t
Her:
youshouldwatchwhaty
oueatdadorel
se
youalsogoi
ngtoendupinahospi
tal
bed
Him:nextti
mepr
incess.But
ter
cupcanwet
alk
outsi
deforami
nute
Il
ookedatI
miandshenoddedandIgotoutof
bedandwal
kedoutaf
terMiso.
Me:
her
eal
l
ydi
danumberony
ou
Hi
m:y
oushoul
dseehi
m
Hechuckl
edandIhel
dast
rai
ghtf
ace
Me:
Iaskedy
ounott
odoany
thi
ngst
upi
d
Him: andIwasn’
tgoi
ngtolethi
m getawaywi
th
hurt
ingy oul
i
kethatBut
ter
cup
Me:
hedi
dn’
thur
tme.l
ookmyar
misf
ine
Him:sti
ll
Buttercup.Idon’
ttakekindl
yto
womenabuser s.Ifhecandot hattoyouthen
heiscapableofdoingmor ethanthat.Youneed
toendthingswiththisguy
,he’snotgoodf or
you
Me:
andy
ouar
e?
Him:ofcauseIam butbut
ter
cupI
’
m bei
ng
ser
ioushere.Theguyi
sengagedt
obemarri
ed
Me:
ohsoy
ouf
inal
l
yfounddi
rtonhi
m
Hi
m:Yol
anda
Me:Mi
sowhatdowant
?Whatar
eyouev
en
doi
ngher
e?
Hi
m:Icameher
etoseey
ou
Me: af
teravoi
dingmef orafl
i
ppingmont
hand
thensuddenlyyourockuptel
li
ngmethatmy
boyfri
endisengaged
Hi
m:But
ter
cup
Me:
ju…j
ustdon’
tok.Yousai
dity
our
sel
f,we
notgoodf oreachot her.Younotf ormeandI ’
m
notforyouandwebet t
erof fthewayt hingsar
e.
Youdon’ tgett owaltzbacki nt
omyl ifeand
expectthingst ogobackt ot hewayt heyonce
were.Youl ef
tmeMi sokuhleandy ounev er
tur
nedback.Youbr okemyhear t
.Youhur tme
andy out hinkthatyour ockingupi sgoingto
undot hedamaget hat’salreadybeendone?NO
i
tdoesn’ twor kli
kethat.Itjustdoesn’t.
Il
ef thim standingtherewi t
hhi smout hhanging.
Heseemedst unnedt ohearwhatcameoutof
mymout h.It r
iedcall
ingTr i
stonbutr eachedhis
voicemai linst
ead.Itri
edagai nbutst il
lnothi
ng
untilIlef
tabout5mi ssedcal l
s.Icalledinat
wor ksay i
ngIwasn’ tgoingt ogoinatal ltoday.I
decidedt odr i
vetohispl aceandt hewasacar
parkedout si
dewithhis.Ihav ebeent ohi
s
housebef orebutInev erstaylong..
.likeIonly
stayt heweekend, certainweekendsandt hen
backt omyhouse.Iwal kedupt othedoorand
knockedandheopenedwear i
ngav estand
f
ormal
pant
s.Heseemedsur
pri
sedt
oseeme.
Hi
m:whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Looki
ngathi
m Mi
sor
eall
ydidanumberonhi
m
andseemsli
keMi
sohi
thim mor
ethanhehi
t
Miso.
Me:
aren’
tyougoi
ngt
oinv
itemei
n?
Helookedbehindhim andt
henbackatme.you
don’
tneedrocketsci
enceinor
dertoknowthat
ni
ggahadcompany
Me:
don’
tbot
her
.
Iwal
kedawayandhecameaf
termecal
l
ingmy
name
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:I
’
m sor
ry
Me:
about
?
Hi
m:manhandl
i
ngy
ou.I
twaswr
ongofme
Me:
IseeMi
soknockedsomesensei
ntoy
ou
Hi
m:I
’
m apol
ogi
singbabe.Pl
easef
orgi
veme
Il
ookedatt
hecarandbackathi
m
Hi
m:af
ri
endofmi
nesl
eptov
er
Me:
soy
ounotengagedt
obemar
ri
ed?
Hi
m:what
?NO.i
fIwasengagedt
oany
onei
t
woul
dbeyou
Hesai dpul
li
ngmebymywai st.Ijustlookedat
him andpull
edmy selfawayfrom him andgot
i
nsidemycaranddr ovebacktot hehospi tal
,on
thewayIwaspr ay
ingthatMisowasn’ tthere
butwhoam Iki ddi
ng?Ofcausehewoul dn’t
l
eavehi sdaughter
’sside.Heandherwer e
bonding.Hewasont hebedwi t
hhert alkingand
l
aughing.Atthatmomentmyhear tli
terall
y
meltedatthesightofthem.
.
.
ToBeCont
inued
[
05/
10,15:
56]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#37
.
.
Mybabywasoutoft hehospitalandshewas
backhome.Af terwhathappenedIj ustwant ed
herhomewher eIcoul dmoni torher ,nowi t’s
nott hatIdon’tt rustYay aandDer r
ickbutIdon’ t
wantt obur dent hem wi thasickchi l
dbecause
docsai dt okeepacl oseeyeont het hingsshe
eatsandIam f ortunateenought ohav easmar t
daught erbecausesheknowsbet ternowt hat
shespentt heni ghtinahospi talbed.Herf at
her
spentt hedaywi thherdadandt henhebr ought
herov erwhenIhadgot tenbackf r
om wor k.As
forMi soandI …wel lIt
hinkthatchapt eris
closed, he’str
iedf ixi
ngwhat ’sbrokenbutl et’
s
ber eali
stic,no-onehasev erdiedf rom bei ng
single.Ilovehimy esandhecompl etesmebutI
don’tknow.Yay a’
si deaofuswor kingon
ourselv esfir
stbef orewor kingonus.wehav en’
t
real
lyhadmuchofaconv er sati
onev ersince
thatday ,
I’
vebeenav oi
dinghi m atal lcost s.
Whenhe’ sar oundI ’
m busyi nmyr oom wi t hthe
doorl ockedsot hathedoesn’ tenterbecause
Misoi snotaf rai
dt oent erther oom wi thout
knocki ng.Itwast heweekendofToby ’
s
weddi ngandIwasf lyi
ngt herewi thmy
daught erandmydat ebeingmybr other.Hi s
wifewasgonehomef ortheweekendandmy
boyf r
iendwasnotont alkingt ermswi t
hme
eversi ncetheMi sosaga.Wegott ot hev enue
andIcal l
edToby .Ineededt oseehi m andt o
wishhi ml uckonhi sbigday .Heanswer edand
het oldmewher ehisr oom wasandt hat’s
wher eIwent ,Iexcusedmy selffrom my
daught erandbr otherandwentt ohi sroom.I
knockedandheopenedst il
l i
nsweat pantsand
at-shirt
Me:
Ithoughty
ou’
dbedr
essedbynow
Him:mor
ningtoyout
ooRed.Iam ner
vousAF
andhowareyou?
Ipul
ledhiminforahugandi ndeedhewas
nerv
oushewasev enshaki
ng;Icouldn’
thel
p
butlaughbecauseIhaveneverwit
nessedToby
l
ikethis.Webrokethehugandhel etmein.
Me:
howar
eyou?
Hi
m:l
i
keIsai
d.Ner
vous,
howar
eyou?
Me:
Iam good.Li
fe’
sbeenki
nd
Hi
m: wher
e’st
hel
i
ttl
eone?Iwashopi
ngI
’
d
meether
Me:
she’
sdownst
air
swi
thmybr
other
Hi
m:It
houghty
ou’
dbeher
ewi
thy
ourboy
fri
end
Me:
wehadaf
ightsoIdoubthe’
scomi
ng
Hi
m:I
’
m sor
ryt
oheart
hat
Me:I
’m nother
etot
alkaboutme.How’
sthe
f
utur
eMr s?Shemustbeacatch
Hi
m:she’
sar
eal
cat
ch.She’
samazi
ng.Her
namei
sCami
l
leandshe’
sachi
l
dpsy
chol
ogi
st 
Me:
soundschar
ming
Hi
m:she’
sev
ery
thi
ngRed
Me:
Iam happyi
fyouhappy
Hi
m:andy
ou?How’
sthel
i
ttl
eone?
Me: she’
sadoll
.Shewasi
nhospi
tal
afewday
s
back,shehasul
cers
Him:
arghpoort
hing.Inevert
houghtI
’
dli
veto
seet
hedaywhereyouar eact
ual
lyamother
Il
aughed.Il
aughedbecauseInev erthoughtI’
d
giv
ebirt
htoababygi rl
andIal wayssaidifI
gavebir
thtoagir
lthenI’dgiveherupfor
adopt
ionbecauseIdidn’twanthertosharethe
samefateasme. 
Me:
I’
m agr
eatmot
herandKendr
aispr
oofof
t
hat
Hi
m: thenIhavetomeetthi
sKendra.Howare
t
hingswithherfat
her
?Itcan’
tbeeasyhavi
ng
hi
sdaught
erbei
ngf
ather
edbyanot
herman
Me:myboy
fri
endhasnotmetmydaught
erj
ust
yet
Hi
m:wel
lyou’
rest
ri
ct
Me:
happymeandhappyMi
so.
 
Him:
ifyousayso.Sur
elyi
tcan’
tbeeasyf
ort
he
guyt
hough
Me:it
’snotbecausehe’
sbeennaggi
ngt
omeet
herbutyouknowme
Hi
m:y
eahIknowy
ou.
 
Me:Ishouldl
eav
eyout
ogetdr
essed.Good
l
uckandy eah
HechuckledandIpull
edhiminforahugbefor
e
walki
ngout.Onmywaydownst air
sIbumped
i
ntoMi so’
sex,Car
ly…SomeoneIhaven’
tseen
si
ncesheandwal kedoutofmyhouse.
Her
:Yol
anda
Me:
Car
ly
Her
:whatasur
pri
se.Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Me:Iam her
etosuppor
tmychi
l
dhoodguar
dian.
Andwhatareyoudoi
ngher
e?
Her:I
’
mthemai
dofhonour
.Thebr
idei
smy
si
ster
Me:
uhhm wow.
 
Her
:Ishoul
dgo
Me:
Car
lyI
’
mreal
l
ysor
ryf
orev
ery
thi
ng
Her:i
t’
sallint
hepast .Despi
teever
ythi
ngthat
’s
happened,he’
sagr eatguyandhelovesyou
morethananything.Ireal
lyt
houghtIcoul
d
makehim seemeandl ov
emet hewayheloves
youbutI’
m noty ou,andIcoul
dneverbeyou.
Justtr
eathimrightok
Me:
Iuhhm….
Her
:By
ebut
ter
cupseey
ouar
ound
Sheleftmeasspeechl
essasonecanget.I
walkeddownandmetupwi t
hmybr ot
herand
daught
er.Igotacall
from I
vyaskingwhereI
wasandIt ol
dherandwithinminutesshewas
wit
hus.shegr eet
edevery
one 
Me:
sowher
eismyf
utur
ebr
otheri
nlaw?
Her
:he’
sstuckatworkandwil
lbeher
elat
er.
Wherei
sthi
sboyfr
iendofyour
s?
Ichuckl
ed
Me:
probabl
yatwor
k.Hehat
esmygut
satt
he
moment
Her
:whatdi
dyoudo?
Me:
Miso
Her
:Ishoul
dhaveknown.Don’
tev
ensay
any
thi
ngfurt
her
.
Me:
accompanymet
othel
adi
espl
ease
Her
:sur
elet
’sgo.
Wewenttotheladi
esandIwentt
opeeand
thenwal
kedoutandsawsomebruisesonher
backasshewastryi
ngtozi
pupherjumpsui
t
Me:
letmehel
pyou
Ihel
pedherz
ipi
tup
Her
: t
hanky
ou.Ti
nohel
pedmewi
thi
tthi
s
morning
That’
sapparentl
yanameshegotfr
om her
fi
ancé’
sparents,t
heycal
lhi
mthat
Me:
Ivy
Her
:yes
Me:
pleasebehonestwi
thme
Her
:uhhm ok…about
?
Me:
thebr
uisesony
ourback,
hedi
dthatt
oyou?
Her
: what
?No.hedi
dn’
tdot
hat
,Ihav
ethi
sski
n
def
ici
encythi
ngy
Me:I’
m notst
upi
dIv
y.Tel
lmet
het
rut
hri
ght
now
Her
:Redi
tsnot
hingok
Me:
whendi
ditst
art
? 
Her
:I’
m notbei
ngabusedsi
scanwedr
opi
t
now
Shesai dwal kingawayandIl etherbe.Iam not
stupid,shehadpur plebruisesonherl ower
backandupperback.Iwonderwhatki ndof
monst ershe’ sengagedt o.Iwal kedoutaf ter
herandwentt oj ointherestoft hepeopl e.The
weddi ngcommencedandj ustast heywer e
sayingt heirv owsIsawTr istonwal kinand
makehi swayt oourr ow, Iwon’ tlieIthoughthe
wasgoi ngt ocomet omebuti nsteadhesat
nextt omysi sterandki ssedhi scheek.Igasped
i
nshock.Thi sIdi dnotseecomi ng.Wegotup
towel comet hel ovel
ycoupl eandt hat’
swhen
heact uallynot icedmeandl ookeddown
nervousl y.I
nourr owi twashi m, I
vy ,
mybr other
,
Kendr aandt henme, Iwassi tti
ngi nt hefarend
nextt othei sleandhewasont heot herendof
thechai rs.Nor mal l
yI’drequestanswer sbutI
thi
nkI ’dgotal ltheanswer sIcoul dpossi bly
wantf rom t his.Yondal ookedatmeandI
shrugged,hecanseewhat’
sgoingonsowhy
tur
nt ome?Mi sowasri
ghtaft
erall
.GoshI
’
m
suchaf ool.Fi
nal
l
y,wegotupandYonda
fol
lowedus.
Hi
m:si
swhat
’sgoi
ngon?
Me:honeygoandpl
aywi
tht
heot
herki
dsI
’
ll
comefindyouok
Her
:yes,
mommy
Sher
ant
otheot
herki
dsandl
eftmewi
thYonda
Hi
m:what
’sgoi
ngon?
Me:
youaski
ngme
Hi
m: howisi
tthaty
ourboyfri
endi
sdati
ngy
our
l
it
tl
esist
erandyoudidn’
tknowabouti
t?
Me:
Ijustdi
dn’
tknowYonda.Iguesshehi
dital
l
t
oowell
Him:nahsis.Youtel
li
ngmeyouandy oursi
ster
neverspokeofhisnameorsomet
hing?
Me:
shecal
l
shi
m Ti
no…howwasIsupposedt
o
know
Hi
m:sowhatnow?
Me:I
vydoesn’tknowandwe’l
lkeepi
tatt
hat
buti
t’
soverbetweenhi
m andI
I
vyandher“fi
ancé”walkedov
ert
oushandi
n
handandherall
giggl
es.
Her
:youl
eftsoqui
ck
Me:
sor
rybabehadt
otakecar
eofsomet
hing
Her:any
wayt
hisi
smyf i
ancéDrTr
ist
onMart
ins.
Ti
nomeetmybigsist
erYol
andaandhert
win
Yonda
Hecoul dbarelyl
ookatmei ntheey e,
guil
twas
wr i
tt
enalloverhi
sguil
tyface.Itwastaki
ngall
thest r
engthinmenottothrowt hechampagne
Iwascar ry
inginhisf
ace.Andal sobecauseI
didn’twanttorui
nToby’
sspeci alday.
Me:
nicet
omeety
ouDrTr
ist
onMar
ti
ns
Mysi
sterwasusi
nghermot
her
’ssur
name
whi
leIusedGraham soyoucani
maginehow
heprobabl
ydi
dnotknowwesi st
ersormaybe
heknewbutdecidedtobetr
ashabouti
t.
Yonda:
yeahni
cet
omeety
ou
Webothshookhi
shand.Iexcusedmysel
fand
wentt
ofi
ndmybaby,atleastshecal
msme
down.
“
Yol
andapl
easewai
tup”
Ihear
dhim cal
loutbehi
ndme.Idi
dn’
twantt
o
tur
nbutIdi
dandIt hr
ewaslapathi
m
Hi
m:Icanexpl
ain
Me: expl
ainwhat?Thaty ouwereplayingme
thiswholeti
me?ormay bethatyouknewt hat
I
v ywasmyl it
tl
esisterandsti
llwentont o
pursueme?ormay bey ouwanttoexpl ai
nt he
bruisesonherbackcausedbyy ourhand
Thel
evel
ofangerIwasf eel
i
ngatthatmoment
wasoneIcoul
dnotputintowordsbecausei
t
wasmorethananger
,itwasrageonanother
l
evel
. 
.
[
05/
10,15:
56]Ron:
*THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#38
.
.
PRESENTDAY–THERAPI
STSOFFI
CE
Iwasl ayingwit
hmybackont hecouch
suppor t
ingmyheadont hearmr est
comf or t
ablywithmyeyesclosed.Ifel
tso
rel
ax edhav i
ngtol
dsomeoneev eryt
hingabout
myl ife.Peopleweren’
tlyi
ngabouttalki
ngtoa
strangercausei tact
uall
yli
ft
sof ft
hatburden
that’
sl ongbeent her
e. 
Her:
SoI’
m guessi
ngthat
’swhenthi
ngswent
sout
hbet
weeny ouandyoursi
ster
?
Me:
doc,
thi
swasonl
ytwoy
ear
sagoandIgot
ar
rest
edabout6mont
hsagoIt
hink
Her
:ok.Iwantust
ogobackont
heabuseand
howitaf
fect
edyou
Me:Ithi
nkIment
ionedi
tal
li
nmyst
orydocand
howitaff
ect
edme
Her:
yes,andIheardev
erybit
.Ihavet
oask,had
younotsuffer
edwhatyousuff
eredasachil
d,
doyouthinkyou’
dbewhereyouareri
ghtnow?
Ichuckl
edtryi
ngtoimaginel
i
fewithoutthe
abuseandeveryotherpai
nIeverenduredandI
don’tt
hinkI
’
dbewher eIam today.
Her:I
’m notsay
ingi
t’
sgoodt
hatyousuff
ered
becausenochil
ddeserv
eswhatyouwent
thr
oughbutanswermehonestl
y
Me:Iguesst heabusemademest r
ongerthanI
coul
dhav ebeenwi t
houti
t.Doci
tforcedmet o
growupbef oretimeandhadEst
erbeena
bett
ermot hert henmaybeIwoul
dn’tbelocked
upinheret oday
Her
:youbl
ameherf
orbei
ngl
ockedupi
nher
e?
Me:i
t’
sallherf
aul
t.Ev
ery
thi
ngwr
ongi
nmyl
i
fe
i
sherfaul
t.
Her:andwhatabouty ourrolei
nallofit
?Imean
somet hi
ngscouldhav ebeenav oi
dedbutyou
chosenotto.Youment ionedthatsomany
ti
mesy ourfr
iendaskedy outomov einwithher
andherfamilysothatyouwoul dn’
tendurewhat
youdidandy oucouldhav eeasi
lymovedinwith
them butyouchosenott o
Me:
sowhatar
eyousay
ing?ThatIenj
oyedi
t?
Her: not hat
’snotwhatI ’
m say i
ng.WhatI ’
m
sayingi sthatsomet imesweal lowour sel
vesto
bet r
eat edinacer tainwaywhenwecan
actuallystopthetr eatment .Looky ouwerea
chil
dwheni tallstartedbuty oul eti
tgoonf or6
yearswheny oucoul dhav et akenact i
on.You
wentt oagoodschool whichhassoci al
servicest ohandlesuchcasesasy oursand
yoursi ster
Me: Amanofsuchpowerandachi ldf
rom a
brokenhome.whom woul dy oubel
i
evebet
ween
thetwo?Don’ tyouthi
nkhewoul dhavetwi
sted
thestorytofavourhiminsteadofme?Dochav e
youev erenduredabuse?
Sheshookherhead
Me: exactl
ysoy oudon’tknowwhaty oudeali
ng
withandwhati tdoest oonement al
ly.Don’
tyou
thi
nkIwant edtogetoutoft hatli
feassoonasI
couldbutIcouldn’t.I
’
m notstreetsmartand
I’
venev erbeen,I
’v
eal waysbeenbooksmar t
andIhadonegoal inmi nd.Obtai
nmymat r
ic
andgetoutoft hatplaceanddespi t
ewhaty ou
mayt hinkImadei toutprett
ywell.
 
Her
:Andy
ourbi
ologi
cal
mot
her
?
Me:
whatabouther
? 
Her:
howaret
hingsbet
weeny
ouandherwi
th
youher
e?
Me:
Ital
ktoherev
erydayandshev
isi
ts
whenev ershecan.She’
sbeendoi ngherlevel
besttogetmeoutofher e.I
fitweren’
tforher
andMi soIdon’tthi
nk,I
’
dhav eanyhopeof
l
eavingt hi
splace
Her:DidyouandMisoeverpur
suea
rel
ati
onship?Imeanoneminut
ey oui
nloveand
thenextyouover
.Howhaswhat ’
shappened
betweenyouandhim af
fect
edyou?
Me:i
t ’
snosecretI
’v
elovedhim si
ncefor
ever
butyou’l
lhav
etoletmef i
nisht
hestor
yifyou
wanttoknowaboutMi soandI
Her
:fai
renough.andy
ourdaught
er?
 
Me: she…shehasbeenthel
ightofmyli
fe,
the
l
ightintheendoft
hetunnel
.Iwoulddo
anythi
ngforher
Her
:li
key
ou’
vedonef
ory
oursi
ster
?
Me:that’
sdi
ff
erent.Iwoul
dn’
tjustki
l
lfor
Kendra.I
’
dpurgeforher
Her
:let
’sgetbackt
oyouandy
oursi
ster
. 
Me:Il
oveherandshelovesmeandIwoulddo
i
tal
loveragai
nforherbecauseshe’
smysi
ster
Her
:shev
ani
shedf
ory
ear
swi
thoutsay
ing
any
thi
ngt
oyou
Me:
shehadherr
easonsandwef
ixedt
hings
Her
:unt
il
?
Me:doesi
treal
l
ymatterdoc?Al
lthatmat
ter
sis
t
hatIwoul
ddoanyt
hingforher
Her:Yol
andaIknowandy ouknowthaty
our
casedoesnotlookgood.Welooki
ngatl
ifei
n
pri
son
Me:
thensobei
t
Her:Yol
andaIknowIdon’ tknowyoupersonally
butbasedonwhatI’
v eheardfrom y
ouev enif
thestor
yisnotdonebuty ouarenotcapableof
kil
l
ingsomeone.Atleastnotthewayyoukilled
him
Me:
hedeser
vedt
odi
e
Her:becausehewasabusi
ngyoursi
steror
becauseofwhatheputyouthr
ough?
Me:
whatheputmet
hrough?
Her:I’
vehadachatwi t
hMi soandheismor e
thandeter
mi nedt
ogety ououtofhereand
from whatI’
vegat
heredfrom yourl
awyer.He
putyouthroughhell
Me:
Ithi
nkt
hisi
senoughf
ort
oday
Her
:Yol
andawenotdoney
et
Me:It
hinkwedonedoc.I
’
dli
ket
ogobackt
o
mycel
l
Her:noti
nthecondi
ti
ony
oui
n.Younotst
rong
enough
Ikeptqui
etandbitmyl
owerl
i
p.Thiswoman
doesnotseem t
owanttol
etthi
sgo. 
Her:Iam t
ryi
ngtohel
py ouhereandi
ncaseyou
haven’
tnoti
ced,
Iam probabl
ytheonl
yonewho
canhelpyouheresopl
easedon’tmakemyjob
dif
fi
cult
Me:l
ook.Tal
ki
ngtoyouhasbeengr
eatandal
l
butI
’
dli
ketorestnow
Her
:fi
ne.We’
l
lcont
inuet
omor
rowt
hen
Me:
thanky
oudoc.Enj
oyt
her
estofy
ourday
Igotupandheadedf
ort
hedoor
Her
:Yol
andawai
t
Ist
oppedi
nmyt
racks
Her:
nowI ’
m notsupposedt
odot
hisbutIhav
e
somethi
ngforyou.Comehere
Iwentbacktomyseatandshet ypedonher
computerandthenawhi l
el atershetur
nedt he
l
aptoptomeandt her
eshewas.Sobeaut i
ful
andsogrown.Ican’tbel
ieveIhav en’
tseenher
i
n6mont hs.Idon’twantherv isi
ti
ngmeand
I’
vebeggedandpleadedf ormyf amilynotto
bri
ngherhere.Tearsj
ustt r
ickledmyey esatthe
si
ghtofher.
*
**PC*
**
Her
:mommy
Me:
heybaby
Isai
dholdingbacktear
sandshehadt
hat
beauti
ful
smi l
eofhersthatal
way
swar
medmy
heart
Her
:mommydon’
tcr
y
Me:I’
m happybaby
.I’
m happyt
obet
alki
ngt
o
you
Her:mommydaddyanduncl
eYangaaredoi
ng
ever
ythi
ngi
nthei
rpowert
ogetyououtoft
here
Me:
Iknowbaby
Her
:Ineedyoutobest
rongmommy
.Ineedy
ou
t
obestrongforme
Me:
I’
mtr
yingbaby
Her
:Il
ovey
ousomuchmom
Me:Il
ovey
outoo.Ihopey
ounotgiv
ing
gr
andmaanddaddymuchtroubl
e
Her
:daddy
’snotcopi
ngmom.he’
sscar
ed.I
hear
dhi mtal
ki
ngt
ouncl
eKy
leont
hephone
yest
erday
Iswallowedahugel umponmyt hroat
.Ihate
thatIcan’tbethereforherandholdherinmy
armsandt el
lhereveryt
hingwil
lal
lbeok.Ihate
thatI’
m here.Ij
usthatemy sel
fforputt
ingher
throughthis.
Her:daddysaysit
’snotl
ookinggoodforyou
butmommyIpr ay
edandGodsai dthatyou
didn’
tdowhateveriti
stheysayi
ngyoudid.God
saysyoudon’tbel
onginthereandhesaidthat
youaregoingtogetout
Me:
youspoket
oGod?
Her:yes,
mommyandheansweredme.We
wereattheparkandwewer
epl
ayi
nggames
anditwasjustbeaut
if
ul
Ismiledwit
hmyhandonmymout hshockedat
whatIwashear i
ngfr
om mybaby.I
’m nota
rel
i
giouspersonbutI
’m al
sonotat
hei
st.One
couldsayIbeli
evet
here’
saGodandIdopr ay
everynowandthenbutI’m notbigonchur ch.
Whilemydaughterontheot herhand,she’s
superrel
igi
ousandshegoest ochurchevery
Sundaywi t
hYayaorMymom whenshe’ sin
NewYor korwit
hherfather.Ilovethatshe’
s
devotedtochur
ch.Doctappedherwr i
st
i
ndicati
ngIhadtosaymygoodby es
Me:babyIhav
etogook.Il
ovey
ousososo
much
Her
:Il
ovey
out
othemoonandback
Me:andIl
ovey
out
othest
arsandback.By
e
baby
Her
:by
emommy
Shekissedthescr
eenandIcoul
dn’
thel
pbut
smil
e.Iendedthecal
l.
*
**EndOfPC*
**
Me:
thanky
oudoc
Her
:youwel
come
Me:
Ihopet
hisdoesn’
tgety
oui
ntot
roubl
e
Shechuckl
ed
Her
:seey
out
omor
rowYol
anda
Me:
thanksagai
ndoc.
 
Iwal
kedoutofheroff
icei
namuchl i
ghter
moodthanIwaswhenIwal kedi
n.t
hingswer
e
l
ooki
ngupandallthankst
omydaught er
.
.
[
05/
10,15:
56]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#39
.
.
Imanagedt okeepittogetherandpretendf or
therestoftheeveni
nguntil i
twasti
met oleave.
WegothomeandYondaheadedst r
aightt ohis
placebecauseapparentl
yt her
ewasabr aaiata
fri
end’
splaceandIwasnoti nthemoodf ora
cr
owd.I nfact
,IaskedMisot ocomeandf etch
Kendra.Kendrawasi nt
her oom onthephone
wit
honeofhergr andmot her’
s.Misowalkedin…
wellhi
scolognegav ehi
m away
Hi
m:y
our
eal
l
yshoul
dlear
ntocl
oset
hedoor
Me:
andmi
ssy
ousneaki
nguponme?
Isai
dsarcasti
call
y.I
twaski
ndofhotandI
for
gott
ocl osethebugl
erwhenwegotin.
 
Hi
m:ar
eyouf
li
rt
ingwi
thmeMi
ssGr
aham?
Idi
dn’
trespond.
Me:
canIgety
ousomet
hingt
oeatordr
ink?
Hi
m:not
hanksI
’
m good.Ev
ery
thi
ngok?
Me:
yeahwhywoul
dn’
titbe?
Hi
m:uhhm…owkay.I
’v
elit
eral
l
yjustgother
e.
What
’sgoi
ngon?WhathaveIdonenow?
Me:
soToby
’sweddi
ngwasi
nter
est
ing
Hi
m: Iwoul
dn’
texpectany
thi
ngl
essf
rom a
wedding
Me:soIvyhadinvi
tedherf
iancéandhecamea
whil
elat
er.Andguesswhat,herfi
ancéj
ust
happenstobetheguyyoutoldmet ost
ayaway
fr
om becausehe’
sengaged.Howl onghav
eyou
knownthathewasseeingmysi st
erand
engagedtobemarriedt
oher?
Him:
If oundoutt
hatdaywhenKendr
awas
admi
tted
Me:andyoucoul
dn’
tgivemeaheadsupt
hat
he’
sengagedtomysist
er
Isai
dshov
inghi
sshoul
der
Hi
m:i
twasnotmypl
acet
otel
l
Me:isn’ti
talit
tl
etool
atefort
hatconsi
deri
ng
youtoldmet hathewasengaged.Don’
tyou
t
hinkthattoowasneveryournewstotel
l?
Hi
m:I
’
m sor
rybut
ter
cup
Me:
I’
vehadi
tupt
oher
ewi
thapol
ogi
es.
 
Him:tobefai
rIwar
nedyouagai
nsthi
m
Butt
ercupf
rom t
hegetgo
Me:
I’
ll
gocal
lKendr
a
Hehel
dmyar
m bef
oreIcoul
dwal
kaway
.
Him:youseethisri
ghthere;t
hisi
syour
probl
em Yol
anda.Youcan’tthehandl
ethetr
uth.
Youalwaysrunningawayfrom i
tandIprayt
o
Godthatourdaughterdoesn’
ttur
noutli
keyou
Me:
excuseme
Hel
etgoofmyhand
Him: youknowI’mr i
ght.Everytimesomet hing
getsser i
ousoryousuddenl yfeeltheheatyou
feeltheneedtorunaway .Whydoy oudothat
Yolanda?Whyi sthat?WhenIconf essedhowI
fel
tabouty ou,
youav oidedmef ordays,whenI
poppedt hequesti
ony oustarteddistanci
ng
yourselffr
om me.Whatt hehel li
swr ongwith
you?
Iwon’
tli
ethatstr
uckaner
ve.Thatstungr
eal
har
dandf orthef
ir
stti
meIsawasi deofMisoI
wasneverreadyf
or.Hewasn’
tpissedor
somet
hing
Him: younev erli
st entoany onebuty our
selfand
whent hi
ngssuddenl ydon’tturnoutasy ou’
d
hopey ouf i
ndsomeoneel set oblamebecause
i
ny ourmi ndy ouar enev erwr ong.Your efuseto
wr ongasi fy ou’l
lbecr ucif
iedf orbeingwr ong.I
trytounder standy oubutev erytimeIt hinkI’
m
closey oual way sf i
ndawayt opushmeaway .
I’
vet ri
edev erythingbuty ouseemi nglywantt o
beal oneandi tsfine,I’
ll
leavey oualone
becauseIcan’ tdot hi
sany mor ewithy ou.Ican’t
keepgoi ngbackandf ort
hwi thaper sonwho
refusest ogr owt hef uckup.
Heleftmest andi
ngt hereandwentupst air
s.I
havenev erseenMi sol i
kethisandIdon’ tthinkI
everwantt oseet hi
ssi deofhi m everagain.He
real
lyscaredt heshiitoutofme.Il eanedinon
thekit
chencount erandcov eredmyf acewith
myhands, Iwastryingtost opt hetearsbutthey
wouldn’tstopcomi ngout .her eal
lywenthar d
onmef oronceandIwon’ tliehehadapoi nt
aboutme…may beevenmorethanIthought
becauseaft
eral
lnooneelseknowsmeaswel l
ashedoes.Ihear
dthem comedownt hestai
rs
tal
ki
ngandIgotuptowashmyf acei
nthesink
andturnedt
othem.
Kendr
a:mommy
Me:
gotev
ery
thi
ng?
 
Him:yeah.I
’
llbr
ingherbackt
omor
rowaf
ter
chur
ch
Me:
uhhm ok
Shecamet
ogi
vemeahug
Her
:Iwi
l
lseey
out
omor
rowokmommy
Me:
okmyangel
.Mommyl
ovesy
ou
Her
:Il
ovey
out
othemoonandback
Me:
andIl
ovey
out
othest
arsandback
Shegiggl
edandletgoofme.Isquattedinfr
ont
ofherandpl
antedakissonherforehead,
cheeksandt
henlips…shel
ikedthat.
Me:
byenow
Her
:by
emommy
Shewal
kedoutandMi
sot
urnedt
ome
Him:sor
tyourli
feoutYol
anda.Deci
dedwhat
exact
lyi
tisyouwantinyourl
if
e.Bye
Wi tht hathewal kedoutandl eftmel ikethat
.I
wentt othedoorandl ockedupaf t
erthem and
pour edmy sel
fagl assofwi neandwentt othe
l
oungeandchannel hopped.Ihadadozen
mi ssedcal lsfr
om Tr iston.Iclear edmy
not i
ficati
onsandt henputmyphonebackon
thet ableandonsi lentthistimei nsteadof
vibrate.Idon’tknowwhenIdr if
tedof fbutIwas
wokenupbyal oudbangi ngont hedoor .I
draggedmyf eetandgul pedt her estofmy
glassandt henwentt oopenaf terpl aci
ngiton
thecount er.I
twasTr iston.
Hi
m:Yol
andapl
ease
Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Him:Ioweyouanexpl
anati
onandI
’m not
l
eavi
ngwithouty
ouheari
ngmeout.soplease
open
Me:pr
omiseaf
tert
hisy
ouwi
l
lst
ayt
hef
**k
awayf
rom me
Hi
m:Ican’
tdot
hatYol
anda
Me:
thenpl
easel
eav
e 
Hi
m:Yol
andaIl
ovey
ou
Me:
funnycausey
ouengagedt
omyl
i
ttl
esi
ster
Hi
m:Idi
dn’
tknowshewasy
oursi
ster
Me:
youl
yi
ng.
Him: okfine.WhenIfoundoutyoutwoare
sist
ersitwasalreadylat
eandIhadalready
poppedt hequesti
on.We’vebeenengagedfora
yearandshewasatwor kandfini
shi
nghertime
ther
ebef oremov i
ngherewit
hme.  
Me:
whydi
dn’
tyout
ell
mey
ouwer
eengaged?
Hi
m:causeIknewt
hati
fIhadt
oldy
out
heny
ou
wouldn’
thav
eagreedt
obewi thme.IswearI
di
dn’tknowyout
wower esi
stersunt
ili
twas
l
ate
Me:
andy
oust
il
ldi
dn’
tdoany
thi
ngabouti
t
Hi
m: I
’vebeentr
yingt
obri
ngmy sel
ftoend
t
hingswit
hherbutIcoul
dn’
t.Ipr
omisedher
motherIwouldt
akegoodcareofherdaught
er
Me:
Idon’
tbel
i
evey
ou.Andt
heabuse
Hel
ookeddown.
Hi
m:i
twasonet
ime
Me:
shehasbr
uisesonherback.
Hi
m:i
twasami
stake
Me:
stayawayf
rom herTr
ist
on
Hi
m:onl
yify
ou’
l
lgetbackt
oget
herwi
thme
Me:
gof
ucky
our
sel
f.I
’
llnev
erbewi
thy
ou
Hi
m:thenIwon’tl
eav
eIv
yal
one.Mywhol
e
f
amil
yloveshersono
Me:whyar
eyouwi
thheri
fshe’
syourpunchi
ng
bag
Him:she’
snotmypunchi
ngbag.Bel
i
evei
tor
notIl
oveher
Me:andyoul
ovemetoori
ght?Justleav
eand
nev
ercomehereagai
norI
’l
ltel
lherever
ythi
ng 
Hi
m:y
oudon’
twantt
otr
ymeYol
anda
Me:
excusey
ou
Him: don’ttestmeYol
anda.Iam wi
thyour
sist
erandshei smadl
yinlov
ewithmeandi f
youdar etrytorui
nwhatsheandIhave,Iswear
toGody ouwi l
ll
iv
etoregr
etit
Me:
arey
out
hreat
eni
ngme?
Him:no,I
’m warningy
ou.Youwon’tsay
anyt
hingtoIvyandIwon’tt
ouchher,dar
etal
k
andyou’l
lneverseeher
Iswal
lowedhardandhehadt
hisannoy
ing
smir
konhisface
Hi
m:nowbeagoodgi
rl
fr
iendandl
etmei
nand
wewon’
thav
eanypr
obl
ems
Me:
Ivyi
syourpr
obl
em andnotmi
ne
Idon’
tknowwhatgameIwaspl ayi
ngbutI
wasn’tgoingt
oletmy sel
fbeabusedt hesame
wayIvy’smotherabusedmey earsback.Iwas
notgoingtosuff
erthesuffer
ingsIt houghtIhad
conquered.
Him:youdon’
tknowthi
sgamey outry
ingto
pl
ayButter
cup.Don’
tst
artnow.openthi
sdamn
bugl
er
Me:
No.l
eav
eorel
seI
’
llcal
lthecops
Hechuckl
ed 
Him: andthat’
ssupposedt oscaremer i
ght?oh
pl
ease.Ihav ethel
awr i
ghtonthepalm ofmy
handsYolanda.Youwanty oursist
ertosti
ck
aroundandal i
vedon’tyou?ThenIsuggesty ou
l
etmeandl etuscontinuewiththewayt hi
ngs
oncewer ebetweenusbef oreyourdramatic
st
orm out
WhatshouldIdo?Doi giv
ei ntokeepmyl
i
ttl
e
si
stersaf
eordoi cal
lhisbluff
?
.
.
ToBeCont
inued
[
05/
10,15:
56]Ron:
**THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#40
.
.
Ilovemysi st
erandIwoul ddoany t
hingforher
butIwasnotgoi ngt oal
lowmy selftogoback
tothesameshi itIletmy sel
fendur ewithEster.
Backt henIwasy ounganddi dn’tknowany t
hing,
allIknewwast hatIneededt olookoutf ormy
sisterbutnow.withev er
y t
hingt hathas
happenedIdon’tt hinkIcandot his.IfI
vy
want edt oleav eTr i
ston, thenshewoul dhav e
l
ef tmef r
om t hemi nuteher ai
sedhishandon
herbuti nst eadshechoset ostayknowi ngt he
kindofper sont hemani s.Il ovehery esbutshe
l
ef tandnev erlookedbackandev enwhenshe
camebackshedi dn’
tthi nkt ogetincont act
withme.whi cht omeseemsast houghshewas
doingj ustf i
newi thoutmei nherlif
e.May beit
s
bestIj ustkeepmydi stancef r
om heronceand
forall,withanexpl anationunl i
keher .Itwas
dur i
ngt heweekandIhadaskedhert ocomet o
theof fi
cet omeetmef orl unch.Shewal kedi n
carryinglunchf orthebot hofus, shelooked
beaut if
ul.
Me:
hel
l
osi
s 
Igotuptohugherandshef l
i
nchedali
tt
le.
Tri
stonhadn’tst
oppedcal
l
ingmeorsending
met hr
eats,
itwasWednesdaynow. 
Her
:heybeaut
if
ul
Me:
howar
eyou?
Ihel
dheratar
m’sl
engt
h
Her
:I’
m goodt
hanksandhowar
eyou?
Me:
I’
m ok.y
ousur
eyougood?
Shesmiled,
hersmilewasnott
heoneIonce
knew,t
hattwinkl
ethatmadeusgi
veherthe
namesunshinewasnotther
eanymore.Il
ooked
ather
 
Her
:I’
mfi
neIswear
Inoddedandsatdownandof
fer
edhert
osi
t
andshesatdown.
Her
:Lal
a
Me:
sunshi
ne
Her
:what
’sgoi
ngon?
Me:
wit
h?
Her
:youandTr
ist
on
Me:
not
hing
Her
:I’
m notst
upi
d.Isawy
ouatToby
’sweddi
ng
andIsawy ourcaratt
hehouset
heot
herdayat
thehouse
Me:
may
bey
oushoul
daskhi
m
Her
:I’
m aski
ngy
ouYol
anda
Me:weweredat
ingoratleastIt
houghtwe
wer
eunti
lIsawhim att
heweddingwithyou
Her
:howl
ong?
Me:
6mont
hs
Shekeptqui
etal
mostast
houghshewas
thi
nki
ng
Me:lookt
hisguyisnotri
ghtf
oryou,
he’
snot
goodforyouandifyoudon’
tleav
ehi
m now,
he’
sgoingtokil
lyou
Sheshookherhead
Her
:hel
ovesme
Me:i
sit
?whataboutt
hebr
uises?I
sthatst
il
l
l
ove?
Her
:het
oldmey
ouwoul
dpi
nthi
ngsonhi
m
Me:
what
?
Her
:Iknewyouwer
evi
ndi
cti
vebutt
his?t
hisi
s
l
owevenforyou
Me:
excusey
ou
Her
:youthi
nkIdon’tknowthatyouknewabout
mefrom t
hebeginni
ng.Youthi
nkIdon’tknow
t
hatyouseducedhimjustt
ogett ome
Me:
IvyIdon’
tunder
stand.Iwoul
dnev
erdot
hat
t
oyou
Her:
Iusedt othinkmom hatedyoubutInow
seethepersony ouar
e.You’r
eanevilperson.I
hat
ey ou.Ineverwanttoseeyouagain.Stay
awayfrom Tri
stonandmy self
Me:
fine.Getoutofmyof
fi
ce
Her
:wi
thpl
easur
e
Shewalkedoutsl
owlyandbangedthedooron
herwayoutandIfoundmysel
fthrowing
ever
ythi
ngonmyt abl
eonthefl
oorin
fr
ustr
ati
on.Tr
ist
onisamanipulat
iveass!How
darehet urnev ery
thingandpi nitonme?Iwas
furi
ous.Iwant edt ost ranglehi m andYv ette
withmybar ehandst hewayIwassomad.My
l
ittl
esisterisdickwhi ppedIswear .Andwhat
thehelldidEstersayt ot hisgi rlaboutme?
SpeakingofEst er
,Ihear dshedi edandI vy ’
s
fi
ancéwasherdoct or .It’
sf unnyhowweal ways
spokeoft hisguyi fher sbutnotoncedi dshe
ment i
onwhot heguywas, wel lshedi dsayhe
wasadoct orwhor ecent lymov edt othisside
andallthatotherst uf fbutshenev ergav emuch
detail
abouthi m.If igur edletmepackupmy
crapandl eavet heof ficebecauseIwon’ tbe
abletoconcent ratef ort her estoft heday .I
didn’
thav emuchwor kt odoany way .Onmy
wayhomeIgotacal lfrom Yonda’ swifewho
washeav i
lypregnantwi t
ht heirsecondbaby ,
shewasduet ogi vebi rt
hi nt womont hs’time.
*
**PC*
**
Her
:Yol
anda
Me:
Bri
dget
Her
:Imi
ssy
ou
Me:
youmi
ssmeory
oumi
ssmycooki
ng?
Her
:woul
dIbewr
ongi
fIsai
dbot
h?
Shelaughedandsodi dI.herv oicewast i
nyand
cut
ey ou’dthinkyoutalkingtoa5- year-
oldor
something.plus,herheightdidn’tdoherany
j
usti
ce,Ialway saskwhatmybr othersawinher
andhejustlaughs.She’ stooador ableforher
ageandj ob,she’
sacar diologist
.
Me:
Ijustgotof
fwor
k,Icanswi
ngby
Her
:whyy
ououtsoear
ly?Ev
ery
thi
ngok?
Me:
Ijustneedt
obr
eat
het
hat
’sal
l
Her:whatbet
terwayt
obreathet
hancoming
overtocookfory
ourf
avouri
tesi
steri
nlaw
Me:JesusChr
isty
ouar
esomani
pul
ati
vey
ou
knowthat
Her
:Iknowandy
oul
ovemest
il
l.I
’
llsendy
oua
l
i
stoft
hingst
obuyandt
ransf
ery
oucashok?
Me:
youdon’
thav
etosendmemoneysi
s
Her:
it’
snobigdealpl
ust
hel
isti
squietl
ong.I
’
d
askYondabutyouknowmyhusband
Me:
yep.Fi
neI
’
llgety
ouy
ourt
hings
Her
:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Idon’
t 
Her
:youdon’
tsayt
hatt
oapr
egnantwoman
Il
aughedandsodi dshe.Atl
easthermoods
weren’thaywir
etoday,shehasherdayswhere
she’
llcryforever
yli
tt
lethi
ngbuttodayshewas
i
nagoodmoodIguessandI ’
m happyt
hatshe
i
s
Me:
I’
m sor
ry.won’
thappenagai
n
Her
:good.Nowgety
ourassher
e
Me:
yes,
ma’
am
Her
:by
e
Me:
bye
*
**EndofPC*
**
Shesentt heli
standthemoneyandIbought
thesethingsofhersandthendroveof
ftoher
housewhi chwasont heothersi
deoftown.I
parkedinsidetheyar
dandmademywayi nsi
de.
Iknockedandshecamet oopenandthen
welcomedmewi t
hahug.
Her
:Imi
ssedy
ou
Me:
Iseet
hat
Isai
dbr
eaki
ngt
hehug
Me:
whatar
eyoueat
ing?
Shechuckl
ed
Her
:cocopops
Me:
andwhat
’smynephewsupposedt
oeat
?
Her
:andwhataboutt
heoneI’
m car
ryi
ng?Ori
s
henotsupposedt
oeatcer
eal
?
Me:
what
ever
.Wher
e’sy
oursi
tt
er?
Her
:she’
snotmysi
tt
er
Me:
sheget
spai
dtot
akecar
eofy
ou
Her:y
ourbrot
heri
sdr
amat
icbecauseIdon’
t
needasit
ter
Me:
sonowshe’
sasi
tt
er
Her
:what
ever
.Justcook
Me:
wher
edoesmybr
otherst
ashhi
swi
nef
ir
st?
Her
:youshoul
dpr
obabl
yst
opdr
inki
ngey
Me:
I’
ll
stopwhenI
’
m pr
egnant
Her:
andwhathappensi
fyouar
ebuty
ouj
ust
don’
tknowt
hatyet?
Il
aughed
Me:
youv
eryf
unnyBr
idge.Thatwi
ne
Her
:int
hecel
l
ar…I
’
mlazyt
ogodownst
air
s
Me:
I’
ll
gogeti
t
Iheadedtothecel
l
arandgotabott
leofsweet
redandthenwentbackupandpour
edmy sel
fa
gl
assandthenst
art
edchoppi
ngwithher
hel
pingmechopoverl
i
ghtconver
sati
on
Her
:sodoest
hismeany
ouandMi
sowi
l
lnev
er
be?
Me:af
terourl
astconv
ersat
ion,
doesn’
tseem
l
ike
Her:hedi
dsaysortyourl
if
eoutandtome
soundsli
kehest
il
lwantstobewithy
oubut
onl
yifyousor
tyoursel
fout
Me:
andwhatexact
lyi
sitt
hatIneedt
osor
tout
?
Her:whatitisy ouwanti ny ourli
fe.Il
oveyou
andIadmi reyoubuty oudon’ tseem t
oknow
whatexactlyitist hatyouwant .Onemi nut
ey ou
happywithTr i
st onandt henexty oubanging
Misoandt henmi nuteslateryouwantt obewi t
h
Misoandt henwhent hatseemst ogetserious
youtakethehi ghway . 
Me:Tr
ist
onisengagedtoIvyandtodayI
vy
cametoconf
rontmeIthinkandshesaidshe
neverwantst
oseemecauseIappar
ent
ly
seducedherman
Itol
dhert
hewhol
est
oryandsomeoft
he
thi
ngsI
vysai
d.
Her:okthat
’salottotakein.What?Youare
eit
herstupi
dorignoranttonotknowthatyour
boyfr
iendhasbeenengagedt hi
swholetime
youtwohav ebeentogether
Me: i
gnorant
.Tri
stonwasn’
tlov
e,hewas
supposedtobeagooddi st
ract
ionf
rom
thi
nkingaboutMiso
Her
:andhowdi
dthatwor
kout
?
Me: cl
ear
lyi
tdi
dn’
tbecauseherehei
s
thr
eateni
ngmeandusingmyl i
tt
lesi
sterwhi
l
e
ati
t
Her:
can’
tyoul
i
kefi
l
ear
est
rai
ningor
der
agai
nstt
heguy
? 
Me:
IcanbutwhataboutI
vy?
Her
:youhav
eli
vedy
ourl
i
feshi
eldi
ngsomeone
whoclear
lydidn’
tneedanyshi eldi
ng,may beit
’s
ti
met obeselfi
shandt hi
nkabouty oursel
f.You
haveadaughtertoshieldnow.I’m sur
eI v
y
knowsthemonst ershe’swit
handi fshe
wantedoutshewoul dhavewal kedoutal ong
ti
meago
Me:
whatifwhenshedeci
dedt
owal
kouti
t’
s
t
oolat
e?
Her:thenthat’sallonher .Ivyi sagrownwoman
andshemakesherowndeci sions.Wasshenot
theonewhocamet ot heofficeandt hrew
i
nsultsaty outell
i
ngy outost ayawayf rom her
andal l
thatothercr ap?May bei t’
sti
mey ou
l
istenedandj uststayawayf r om herbecause
sheclearl
ydoesn’ tneedy ou.Il oveyousi sandI
wouldhat eforyout ogethur t 
Me:
Iknowbabe
Iwenttopourthet
hingsIhadbeenchoppingi
n
thepotandthenwentbacktothecounter
opposi
teherandchoppedmorev eggi
esover
l
ightconv
ersati
onsaboutot
hert
hings.Shewas
ri
ght,maybeIshoul
dstayawayf
rom Ivyli
ke
shewantsmet o.
.
[05/
10,15:
57]Ron:
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGI NED*
**
#41
.
.
Iwasinthekit
chencookingf ormyprincess
andwaiti
ngforhertocomebackwi t
hherf ather
,
guywassupposedt ohav elef
tbutwhoknows
whyheissti
llaroundandIhav en’
taskedeither.
Igotamessagef rom Tr
istonwhichread“you
wil
lregr
etwhaty oudi
d”
“
mommy
”
Ifel
therar
mswr apar
oundmylegs.Il
ooked
downtoherandputmyphonedownand
huggedherback.
Me:
howwasschool
?
Her:
schoolwasamazing.DaddyandIwentt
o
geti
cecream andchocol
ate
Me:
IthoughtIsai
dnosweett
hingsatt
hishour
Shegi
ggl
edandl
etgoofher
“
Icoul
dn’
tresi
stherpuppyey
es”
Il
ookedupandMi sowasstandi
ngbyt hedoor
wit
hasmi l
e.Iswearhegetshotterev
er y
timeI
seehim.hewasl eani
ngbythedoorwithhis
handsinhispocketswear
ingnavyNYcap, nav
y
j
oggers,whit
et-shi
rtandwhit
esneakers.
Hi
m:hey
Me: hi
.Honeygoputyourbagupstai
rsand
changeint
othedressontopofyourbed
Her
:yesmummy
.Don’
tgoany
wher
eI’
l
lbeback
nownow
Shesaidl
ookingatherfatherpoi
nti
ngherwith
heri
ndexfingerasthoughshewasscolding
hi
m.Icouldn’thel
pbutlaughathowserious
shesuddenlywas
Hi
m:Iwontgoany
wher
epr
incess
Her
:good.
Wi
tht
hatshewal
kedoutandl
eftusl
aughi
ng
Me:
Iwasmaki
ngdi
nner
,canIcounty
oui
nor
?
Hi
m: y
ouhear
dyourdaught
er,
I’
m notal
l
owed
t
oleave
Inoddedandt
urnedbackt
othepot
Hi
m:howar
eyou?
Me:
I’
m goodt
hanksandhowar
eyou?
Hi
m:y
ouknowwhatI
’
m aski
ngbut
ter
cup
Icoul
dli
ter
all
yfeelhi
m st
andi
ngr
ightbehi
nd
me.Itur
nedtofacehim
Me:
bet
tert
hanIshoul
dbeIguess
Hemov edt
otheothersi
deandleanedont
he
count
erandIt
urnedtothepot
s
Hi
m:what
sthi
s?
Me:
what
?
Hi
m: t
his?whatdoest
hismean?What
sgoi
ng
onYol
anda?
Hewashol dingmyphoner eadingmy
messagesf r
om Tr i
ston.GREAT!ForonceI
didn’twanttoi nvolveMi soinmydr amaor
messorwhat ever.Imeanhe’ salwaysthereto
rescuemeEVERYTI MEI ’minneedofrescuing.
Hewaswai ti
ngf orananswerbutIdi dn’thave
onef orme…okmay beIdi dbutIdi
dn’tknow
wher etobegi n.Imeant hetext
sareself-
explanator
ysowhat stheretoexplainreal
ly?
Hi
m:Yol
anda
Whathappenedt
ohi
m cal
l
ingmebut
ter
cup?
Me:
yes
Hi
m: What
sgoingonher
e?Why
’sTr
ist
on
t
hreat
eni
ngyou?
Ishr
ugged
Me:
he’
smadcauseIendedt
hingswi
thhi
m 
Hi
m:what
?Washeexpect
ingy
out
ost
aywi
th
hi
m evenaft
eryoufoundouthe’
sdat
ingy
our
si
ster
?that
’smessedup
Me:
yeahwel
lhe’
smad
Hi
m:whydi
dn’
tyout
ell
meYol
anda?
Ishr
uggedagai
n.Ifeltl
ikeIwasi
nan
i
nter
rogat
ionr
oom rightnowandthi
sguy
wasn’
tgoingt
oletgoeasi l
y
Hi
m:Whydi
dn’
tyout
ell
meany
thi
ng?
 
Me:becauseMiso…I’mti
redofal
waysrunni
ng
t
oy ou.I
’mti
redofalway
shav i
ngtot
urntoyou
whenevert
hingsar
escrewedupinmylife
Him: y
outhemotherofmychil
dBut
ter
cup.Iwi
l
l
alwaysbether
eforyou.Iwi
l
lal
waysbether
eto
rescueyou
Hetur
nedmet ohi
m andmademef acehi
m,he
l
if
tedmyfaceupwithhi
sindexf
inger
Him:despi
teeveryt
hingthathashappenedand
ever
ythi
ngthatIsai
dt oyouButter
cup,thewayI
feel
aboutyouhasn’tchangedonesinglebi
t.i
wi
l
lfor
everbet
heref
ory
ounomat
terwhat
.I
wi
l
ldealwit
hTr
ist
on
Me:Iappr
eciat
eev
ery
thi
ngy
ouj
ustsai
dbut
t
hisi
smyf ight
Hi
m:But
te…
Iputmyf
ingeronhi
sli
psshut
ti
nghi
m up
Me:letmehandlethi
s.I
vyismysisterand
Tri
stonismyex.Letmedealwit
ht hi
sandifI
cantthenI
’l
lcometoyouforhel
p
Bythi
sti
meIhadremovedmyf
ingerf
rom his
l
ipsandwewerel
ooki
ngdeepi
ntoeachothers
eyes.
 
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
e?
Me:
yesI
’
m sur
e
Hebentdownt oki
ssmeandIcouldn’thel
pbut
respond.Hi
slips…somethi
ngIhadforgott
eni
n
thi
stimehewasgone.hegr abbedmyassand
pull
edmecl oserwhil
eIwrappedmyar ms
aroundhisneckdevouri
nghim.hi
stouchonmy
asswasmaki ngmewetdownther
e,wit
hever
y
tonguest
rokeIcouldf
eel
agoodsensat
ion
betweenmylegs. 
“
sies!
”
Webr oket
hekissandKendr awasstandingby
thedoorwit
hherhandscov eri
nghereyes.we
l
ookedateachotherembar r
assed.Ofallthe
ti
messhecoul dwal
kinonusshechoset his
one?Thisgi
rl
!Misoclearedhisthr
oatand
point
eddownwi t
hhisey esmakingmyey es
widen.Hewashard,Ifoundmy sel
fgi
ggli
ngand
bitmylowerl
ip 
Kendr
a:ar
eyouguy
sdonenow
Me:
yesbabywedone
Mi
sogavemealookandIjustsmi
led.He
mout
hed“y
ou’
l
lpayfort
his”andIgiggl
edagai
n
Her
:youguy
sar
edi
sgust
ing
Me:
hey
.West
il
lyourpar
ent
syoungMi
ss
Her
:I’
m gonnat
ell
grandma
Miso:
andyouandIwi
l
lnev
ergooutf
ori
ce
cr
eam agai
n
Her
:that
’snotf
air
Him:whatsnotf
airi
syout
ell
i
ngy
ourgr
andma
ourbusi
ness
Her
:fi
ne.Wehav
eadeal
Ijustchuckl
edandlett heset
wobe.Ialway s
wonder edwhatit
sli
kewhent heyspendtime
togetherwit
houtmebei ngar
oundandI ’
m
start
ingtothi
nkitsl
iket hi
sallt
hetime.the
pointl
essadorabl
ear guments.
Me:
anyhomewor
ks?
Her
:nope.
 
Me:
yousur
e?
Shenoddedwi
thasmi
l
e,f
ull
teet
hsmi
l
eandal
l
Hi
m:okaypr
incess
Her
:comel
etsl
eav
emommyt
ocookandgo
wat
chtv
Me:
Ineedhel
p
Her
:no.y
out
wowi
l
ljustki
ssagai
n
Welookedateachot herandlaughed.What
s
wrongwithmydaught erl
atel
y?Shehasan
answerforever
ythi
ng.shejustdropsbombs
andstuf
f.Unexpect
edly.
Hi
m:she’
syourmotherandI’
myourf
ather
,we
al
l
owedtoshareaki
ssev er
ynowandthen
Her
:buty
ounotmar
ri
ed
Hi
m:shoul
dwebemar
ri
edt
oki
ss?
Sheshr
ugged.May
beweconf
usi
ngher
Her
:Idon’
tknow.onl
ymar
ri
edpeopl
eki
ss
Me:
cany
out
woar
gueel
sewher
e
Hi
m:wenotar
gui
ng.Wehav
ingaconv
ersat
ion
Her:
yeswej
usttal
ki
ngandkeepingy
ou
company
.Whatareyoucooki
ng?
Me:
meatandmashedpot
atoes
Hi
m:ni
ce.
 
WhenIwasdoneIdi shedupf oreveryonewith
greeksaladIhadcamebackwi thfrom Yonda’s
housewhenIwast her eearl
i
er.Wesati nt he
l
oungeandat ewat
chingTVov erli
ght
conversati
ons.Wel
lKendr awast heone
watchi
ngTVandMi soandIwer ecatchingup
Me:
Ithoughty
ouwer
eleav
ingt
hisweek
Hi
m:I
’
m enj
oyi
ngbondi
ngwi
thmydaught
er
Me:
ohcool
then
Hi
m:andal
somyt
ri
pgotext
ended,
Igotaj
ob
t
odo
Me:
whatdoy
ouknowaboutt
he$pr
it
z?
Hi
m:howdoy
ouknowt
he$pr
it
z?
Me:
Ijusthear
daboutt
hem ar
ound…So?
Hi
m:st
aycl
earoft
he$pr
it
zBut
ter
cup
Me:
oh
Hi
m:y
es.I
t’
sadanger
ousgang.Onanot
her
l
evel
 
Me:
mmmh
Hi
m:whydoy
ouaskany
way
?
Me:incaseyouhav en’
tbenwatchi ngt henews
l
atel
y,theyareresponsi
bleforthel astbank
Robberyoratl
eastthat’
swhatpeopl eassume…
youdon’thappentobei nv
olvedright ?
Him:I’
m nott
hatdesper
atef
ormoney
Butt
ercup
Me:
Iunder
standt
hatb…
Him: Iwouldn’
trisky oursandKendra’
sl i
fel
ike
thatButter
cup.Cl ickdidoff
ermet ocome
aboardbutt hethoughtofany thi
nghappening
toy ouguysbreaksmyhear tintoamil
lion
piecesandIwoul dn’tbeabletobar
eit.soI
turnedhim down
Me:
oh
Hi
m:y
oubel
i
evemer
ight
?
Me:
yeah
Him:younotconv
inci
ngbutwhat
ever
.You
doneeati
ng?
Inoddedandhetookmyplat
eandtook
Kendra’
stooandwentt
oputthem i
nthe
ki
tchenandthencamebackandpl
acedmyf
eet
ontopofhisl
ap
Me:
youdi
dn’
twasht
hosedi
shest
hatqui
ck
Hi
m: y
ouhaveadi
shwasher
.Whyshoul
dIbe
washi
ngdi
sheswi
thmyhands?
Me:
brat
!
Hel
aughedandst
art
edmassagi
ngmyf
eet
.
Me:
pri
ncess
Her
:yesmommy
Me:
what
sthet
imenow?
Her
:7:
30
Me:
andwhatt
imedoy
ougot
obedagai
n?
Her
:7:
30
Me:
sochopchop.
 
Her
:butmommy
Me:na.
ahpri
ncesswenotdoi
ngt
his.Let
sgo
washandgetyoutobed
Her
:fi
ne.Daddycomet
uckmei
n
Hi
m:cal
lmewheny
oudonewashi
ng
Her
:fi
ne
Sheki
ssedmycheekandkissedMiso’
sthen
wentuptoherr
oom andl
eftusint
helounge
Hi
m:t
hat
’sabuset
hou
Me:
whati
s?
Hi
m:sl
eepi
ngt
hatear
ly
Me:
whatt
imei
sshesupposedt
ogot
obed?
Hi
m:8or9
Me:shewashesat7:
30andsl
eepsatar
ound
8….
Hi
m:f
ine
Irol
ledmyheadbackandletoutasof
tmoanas
hewasdoi ngsogoodwi
thhishandsonmy
feet
.Ineededthi
saft
ert
hedayIhad.Ihear
d
him chuckl
e
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:y
oumoani
ng
Me:
Ineededt
his
Hi
m:r
ight
Wesatt her
ei nsi
lencewhilehewasbusywi t
h
myf eetunt
ilKendracameandt heywenttoher
room toget
her.Iwenttoshowerwhilehewas
busywi t
hhisdaughterinthemeantime.Iwas
almostdonewhenhej oi
nedmei ntheshower
Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Hi
m:hav
ingashowerwi
thy
ou.
 
.
[
05/
10,
15:
57]Ron:
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGI
NED*
**
#42
.
.
Afterourinnocentshower.Yes,theshowerwas
i
nnocent,wewashedeachot her
’sbackin
sil
enceandi twasv er
ynice.Itwascalmingand
rel
axingandf orawhileIactuall
yfor
gotabout
Tri
stonandmyl i
ttl
esist
er.Wewentbackt ot
he
room witheachofuswi that owelaroundour
body .
Me:
yousl
eepi
ngov
er?
Hi
m:doy
ouwantmet
o?
Me:
I’
dlov
efory
out
o
Hi
m:sur
ethi
ngbabes
Idon’
tloti
onmybodywhenI ’
m aboutt
osleep
becauseIfeel
itmakesnosense.Iwor
emyt -
shi
rtwhichIgotf
rom hi
m bytheway.whenI
t
urnedar
oundhewasst
arr
ingwi
thasmi
l
e
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:y
oust
il
lhav
ethat
Me:
yeah
Itwasat -
shir
thegav
emebacki nvar
sit
yinour
secondyear.Hewasleavi
ngforhomeandhe
i
nsistedonleavi
ngmesomethingtor
emember
him byandwhowasIt osayno?
Me:youst
il
lhavethebracel
etIgav
eyou
hangi
ngonyourrearv
iewmi rr
or
Hechuckl
ed
Hi
m:soy
ounot
iced
Hesai
dwi
ththatl
azyador
abl
esmileofhi
sI
hat
esomuchbecausei
t’
stoochar
ming.
Me:justl
i
key
ounot
ici
ngt
het
-shi
rtI
’
m wear
ing
now
Hi
m:i
t’
sdi
ff
erent
Me:
what
ever
.Youbei
ngwei
rd
Hi
m:canIgetat
-shi
rt
Ilaughedbef orelookingforsomet hi
ngf orhim
towearbecauseheknewIhadsomet hingof
hisinmywar drobe.Itookouthisol dboxer
shorts…t heynott hatoldbecausehehassl ept
i
nmypl acesomet i
met hi
sy earbutwedi dn’
t
sleepont hesamebed, hesleptinhis
daught er’
sr oom wi t
hheronl ybecauset henext
dayt heywer egoingsomewher etogether
Hi
m: st
art
ingt
othi
nky
ouhav
eal
otofmyst
uff
i
nthatcl
oset
Me:
may
beIdo…y
oul
eav
eyourst
uffher
eal
ot
Him:
whatcanIsay
,thi
spl
acei
smyot
her
home
Me:
thenmay
bey
oushoul
dst
artpay
ingr
ent
Hi
m:may
beIshoul
d
Igotinsi
detheblanketsandhewentt
oswitch
theli
ghtsof
fandgoti nsi
denexttomeand
pull
edmet ohischestandbrushedmyhai
r
whi
leIdr
ewmeani
ngl
esst
hingsonhi
schest
wi
thmyfinger
.
Hi
m: I
’
m sor
ryaboutt
hewayIspoket
oyout
he
ot
herday
Me:it
sok.Ineededthat
,itmademeseealotof
t
hingsIdi
dn’tqui
teseeaboutmysel
fbef
ore
Hi
m:oh
Me:yeah.Mi
sowhi
l
eyouwer
einSAIspoket
o
Yay
a
Hi
m:shet
oldme
Me:l
etmefi
nish.Shement
ionedalotoft
hings
t
hatmadesense.Li
kehowweshouldeach
wor
konourselv
esbefor
ewewor konus. 
Hi
m:mmmh
Me: Ithinkweshouldgiveusashot .Misoit
’s
nousedeny ingwhatweeachf eel
foreach
other.Wel l
youdon’tdenyi
tbutIdoandsof ar
i
thasn’ tworkedoutgoodformeatal lbecause
hadIj ustswallowedmyprideandbeenwi th
youf r
om thegetgothenIwouldn’
thav
ebeen
wit
hTr ist
onnorwoul dIbei
nthemessI’min
now.I’m notsayi
ngmov ebacktot
hestat
esor
anythi
ngbutI ’
m wil
l
ingtogi
veusashotevenif
i
tslongdi st
ance
Hi
m:But
ter
cup
Me:ify
oualr
eadyhav
esomeonei
nSAt
heni
ts
ok,
Iunder
stand.
Hi
m:mayIsaysomet
hingnow?
Me:
ok
Him: noIdon’thav eanyoneinSA.Ev enifI
want edtoIcoul dn’tbecauseIwasn’ treadyf or
anyone.But t
ercupIwantust owor kandi fit
meansmemov i
ngbackher et hensobei tj ust
aslongasIhav eyoui nmylifeandnotj ustas
mydaught er
’smot herbutmor ethant hat.Ilov
e
youYol andaandf oryouIwoul dcrossoceans
andqui teveryt
hi ng.TherealreasonIev en
stayedlongert hanIhadpl annedi sbecauseI
enjoyseeingy ouev er
yday.Itli
ghtensupmy
worl
dandgoingbackt
oSAwoul
donl
ymeanI
seel
essofyou
Me:whatabouty
ourj
ob?Youhav
en’
tev
en
beent
herefor6mont
hs
Him:Iam aLandsurv
eyorandanITspeci
ali
st…
howhar dcoul
ditbef
ormet ogetaj
ob
Butt
ercup
Ichuckl
ed,hewassoconf i
dentbutthat
’sone
ofthethi
ngsIloveabouthi
m.Ilookedupat
him andheplant
edakissonmyl ipsandthen
brokeit
.
Him:let
ssleep,youhaveworkandKendr
a
needstogetreadyforschool
Me:
okt
hen.
Heki
ssedmyhead
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ouBut
ter
cup
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo
Youev
erhadsl
eepsogoody
oudon’
tev
en
wantt owakeupf orthenextdaybecausey ou
fearthatl astni ghtwasadr eam andi fyouwake
upandcar ryonwi t
htodaysomeonemi ghtj ust
ruinthedayf ory ou?Wel lthat’showgoodI
sleptinMi so’sar ms,wi thasenseofbel ongi ng
forachange.Iwashappy .Iwascont ent.The
bestgoodmor ning/breakf astisnott heone
wher ey ougetasweetl oveydov eytextf rom
Baeort heonewher ebaeser v esy oubr eakf ast
i
nbedbuti nsteadi tsbei nghadf orbr eakfastby
theoney oul ove…doest hatmakeanysense?
Butt henagai nl ovemakesnosenser ight?
Any wayMi so’ st onguewasonpl ay i
ngar ound
onmycl i
tmaki ngmef eel all
ki ndsofeuphor ia.
GoodGodi tfeltgoodashedev ouredmel ike
hisfav ouritef oodort hebestt hinghe’ sev er
tastedi nthi swor l
d.Icoul dn’thel pbutl etouta
moanofhi snamewi t
hmyey esst i
llclosed.I
wasenj oyingt hemomentnol i
e
Hi
m:Goodmor
ning
Idi
dn’
tev
enr
espond.I
nst
eadIpushedhi
shead
deepinbet weenmyl egs,Icouldfeelitcomi ng,
Icouldfeelmyor gasm bui l
dupashewenti n
deeperandIcar essedmyboobsbecauset he
sensati
onwast oodamngood.OhGodIcoul d
getusedt owaki ngupl i
ket hi
sIswear .Iletital
l
outandhecl eanedmewi thhistonguewhi ch
youwoul dswearhewentt osomeschool to
l
earnwhathej ustdi drightnowwi th.hecame
uptomyf aceandl eanedi nsocloseIcoul d
smellmyj uicesinhi smout h,
hewasbal ancing
hishandsonei t
hersi deofmyf ace.Hewasso
handsome, sosexy ,sohot …Godwhatot her
wordcanIuset odescr ibehowgoodt hisman
befor
emel ooked?  
Hi
m:howar
eyou?
Me:
good.Gr
eat
.
Thatwasprobabl
yoneoft hebestorgasmsI’
ve
fel
tinalongti
me…amont hislongtrustme
andwithTri
stonI
’vehadtofakeorgasm ever
y
ti
mewehadsex ,
butwithMisotheyjustcome-
cum* puni ntended*nat urallyyouknow.Mi so
alway sknowswhi chspot st ohi t
.Ijustl ooked
athi mj usttakinghi minl i
ket his,meathi s
mer cyandhi m knowi ngv er ywel lt
hepowerhe
holdsov erme.hel eanedi nandki ssedme, I
coul dtastemy selfonhi slips…notr eal lyagood
tastebutt henagai ncomeonguy s, thisman
makesev erythingt astegoodwi ththosel ipsof
his.OkIsoundobsessedbuty oucan’ tbl ame
me, I’mi nlov eallov eragai n.Iam r emi ndedof
whatusedt obeandwhatcoul dbei fIdon’ tr ui
n
thingswhi chI’m notpl anni ngtodo.Il ower ed
hisboxer swi ththehel pofmyf eetunt ilthey
wer ei nhisankl eswhi l
ewewer est il
l kissing.
Hismanhoodspr ungf reeandIpl ay edwi thi t
withmyhands, hef eltbiggert hant hel astt i
meI
checked.Icoul dfeel hismuscl estenseupandI
decidedt oflipusov erbecauseIwant edt ot ake
cont rol.Iwentdownl eav i
ngat railofwetki sses
allthewayt ohi sbi gandt hickshaf t.I
swal lowedhar d,Idon’ trememberhi mt hi
sbi gI
swearormay bei t’
sbeent hatlongsi nceIlast
sawi t
.Igaggedi nbet weenmaki nghi m callout
mynameandt omet hatwasmot ivati
ont o
keepgoi ngunt i
l heexpl odedi nmymout h,I
couldn’tswal l
owal lofhisjuicest hou.It ur
ned
mybackonhi m andgotont opr ev ersecowgi rl
anddidmyt hi
ng, heswi t
chedt hingsupandwe
werebot hkneel ingont hebedwi thhi m behind
mecar essingmyboobswi thonehandandt he
otherpl ayingwi thmycl it
.Idon’ tknowhow
manyt i
mesIor gasmedbutwhenwef inall
ylaid
downt or estIcoul dbar elycat chmybr eath.I
can’tremembert helasttimeIhadsext his
good,t hiswaswhatIcal lar eal exer ci
se.He
pull
edmet ohischestandki ssedmyhead.
Hi
m:Imi
ssedt
his
Me:
met
oo
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
tot
hemoonandst
arsback
Hechuckl
ed 
Hi
m:don’
tletI
miheary
ousayt
hat
Ichuckled.Ourdaughtercanbev er
yjeal
ous
andsheget sitfr
om herf ather
.ThewholeIlov
e
youtothemoonandst arsandbackt hi
ngis
onlyhersandI’sthi
ngandshoul dshehearme
sayittosomeoneel set henshe’l
lsulkt
he
wholeday .
.
.
ToBeCont
inued 
[
05/
10,15:
57]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#43
.
.
Li
fewasgoinggoodexceptbei
ngharassedby
Tr
istonandhissoont
obewi f
e…Igotan
i
nvit
ati
ontotheweddi
ngwhichist
hisweekend,
Isti
lldon’ tunder standwhyt heyinvitedme
becauseIam noti nter
est edingoingandwi th
Misobacki nSA…I ’mjustnotgoi ng.I twasn’ t
easyconv incinghi mt ogobackt owor kbutI
fi
nallymadehi m seel ogicandaf terawhol elot
ofconv incingImanagedt ogethimt ol eave.We
decidedont akingt hi
ngssl owandmaki ngus
workwi thoutlettingany oneknowaboutus.
l
et’sjustsaywehappyt hisway .Wecal leach
otherev erydayandhemakesmet hehappi estI
haveev erbeen.Iwasatwor konaThur sday
andBr i
dge, Mar cyandIwer epl
anni ngongoi ng
foral atelunchaf terwor ktojustcool downand
l
etlooseabi tyouknow.myphoner angandI
checkedt hescr eenandi twasMi sof ace-ti
mi ng
me.Ianswer edsamet i
me.
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:But
ter
cup
Me:
HeyBubbl
es
Hi
m:howar
eyout
oday
?
Me:I
’
m okhoneyj
ustswampedwi
thwor
k.How
ar
eyou?
Hi
m:Imi
ssy
ousomuchi
t’
snotev
enf
unny
Me:
Imi
ssy
out
oobabe
Hi
m:can’
tyout
akeaweekof
fandcomet
his
si
de?
Me:
youknowIwantt
obutIcan’
t
Hi
m:whydoIf
eel
unl
ovedr
ightnow?
Me:nev
er.Ev
enifIwantedt
ounloveyouI
woul
dn’
tbeableto.Youmyever
ythi
ng 
Hesmil
edmakingmesmi
l
etoo.GodImi
ssed
hi
m somuch.
 
Hi
m:st
opt
rynaf
li
rtwi
thme
Me:
atl
eastI
’
mfl
i
rti
ngwi
thwhat
’smi
ne
Hi
m:ar
en’
tweconf
identmuch
Me:that
’sbecauseIknowy
oumi
neandmi
ne
al
one. 
Hi
m:Il
ovei
twheny
ouconf
ident
Ismi
l
ed
Hi
m:soI
’
vebeenj
obhunt
ing
Me:
oh
Him:yeahandIfoundaf
ewposit
ionsfory
ou.
EvenBessisof
feri
ngsomet
hingi
ny our
posi
ti
on
Me:
youwantmet
omov
etoSA?
Him:wouldi
tbeabadideat
hough?Imeanyou
gettobeawayfr
om Tr
ist
onandyourment
all
y
i
llsi
ster
Me:
andawayf
rom myf
ami
l
y 
Hi
m: y
oudon’
thav
et osel
lyourhousethatway
whenwecometovisi
twehav eaplacetostay
Me:
Miso
Him:befor
ey ousayno.Thepayisnegot
iabl
e
andwithyourquali
fi
cat
ionsyouarewort
hevery
penny
Hewasr ight
.inthepastfewy ear
sIwentback
toschoolpartti
metoincreasemy
quali
fi
cati
onsandIam nowaDri nAccounting…
i
fthatmakesanysense.Iam cur rent
lyworking
astheCFOoft hecompanyI ’minandIwoul dn’t
acceptanypositi
onlowerthanthisoneso
whateverMisosaw,ithadbetterbeinthi
slev el
orelseI’
m sorr
yIcan’t
.
Hi
m:lookwehav
egr
eatschool
sar
oundher
e
f
orKendra
Me:
babecanIt
hinkaboutt
his
Hi
m:what
’st
her
etot
hinkabout
?
Me:everythingMiso.Mywholelifei
sher eandI
can’
tjustupandl eave.ImeanIloveyouandI
wanttobewher eyouarebutformet ojustup
andleavelikethat
?Whataboutmypar ents?My
si
bli
ngs?Myf ri
ends?
Him:Iunderst
andyourconcernsLandabut
pl
easejustconsi
derthi
s.I
’mtiredofthi
s
tr
avel
ingbackandforthal
lthetimeandnot
hav
ingtoseeyouguysever
yday.I
tsucks
But
ter
cup.Ir
eall
ywantyouher
e
Me:
whydon’
tyouj
ustmov
ebackher
e
Hi
m:wer
eyounott
heonewhot
oldmegoback
t
oSA?Yol
anda 
Me:
Misomov
ingi
snotaseasyasi
tseems
Hi
m:y
out
hinkIdon’
tknowt
hat
 
Me:Iknowyoudi
dn’
tcall
mef orustoargue
andIdon’
twantt
oarguewit
hy ouaboutthi
s
pl
ease
Hi
m:f
ine.Enj
oyt
her
estofy
ourday
Me:
Miso
Hi
m:By
eBut
ter
cup
*
**EndOfPC*
**
Isattherewithmyphoneinmyhand.Mi so
couldn’tbedoingt
hist
ome,notli
kethisand
defini
telynotnowofal
lti
mes.Ionl
yjust
recentl
ygott hepr
omoti
onaboutamont hago.
 
“
MissGr
aham y
ouhav
eav
isi
tor
”
Il
ookedupandthatwasmyPA…y esIgotaPA
becauset
heworkloadwasj
ustt
oomuchandI
neededahel
pinghand.
 
Me:
Avi
sit
or?Who?
Her:
hewon’
tsay
.Hesay
she’
sher
etot
akey
ou
outf
orl
unch
Asmi leformedonmyl i
ps.Itcoul dbeMi soorit
couldbemybr other.ReasonIsayMi sois
becausehei sv er
ymuchcapabl eofjustrocki
ng
upunannounced.I t’
sbeent hreemont hssince
heleftandhewoul dvisitusev erytwoweeksa
mont handher ecent l
yleftsowhoknows.Yes,
wejusthadanar gumentbuti t’
spossiblethat
he’
sher e.Iknowmyguy .Ijusthopei t
’sreal
ly
hi
m sowecanpat chupwhat everthi
sis.She
smiled
Her
:soshoul
dIl
ethi
min?
Me:
ofcause
Iwal kedtotheoff
icebathr
oom andf
ixed
my selfupforei
therofthem.WhenIwasdoneI
walkedoutandhewassi tt
ingonmychair
facingtheotherdir
ecti
on.
Me:
eyy
ou
Het
urnedt
hechai
r
Hi
m:HeyLal
a
Myfacialexpr
essi
onchangedimmediat
ely
.It
wasTrist
on.Iwassuperboredandsuper
pi
ssed.Hewassmi li
ngl
ikesomeonewhoj ust
gotsome.
Me:
whatt
hehel
lar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Hegotupandwal
kedupt
omeandImov
ed
back
Him:youdidn’
tRSVPsoIcametoseeyou.How
areyou?Iseeyouandt
hatguyofy
oursare
backtoget
her.
Me:
WHYTRI
STON?Idon’
twantt
oseey
ou
Him:becauseYolandaIwantt
oseeyouther
e.
Seemingl
ythetextsIsenty
ouweren’
tdoi
ng
anyt
hing 
Me:al
lmyteenageli
feI
’
vebeent
hreat
ened
usi
ngmysist
ersowhatmakesyouthi
nkthat
i
t’
sgoi
ngtowor know?
Hesatdownandpatt
ednexttohi
m ont
he
couchi
nmyoffi
ce.Il
ookedathi
m
Hi
m:Idon’
tbi
te
Me:
buty
oubeatupwomenr
ight
?
Him: noIdon’t.Youseethethingwithyour
si
ster…shedoesn’ tl
ikey
oumuch.Af tershe
l
osthermot hershemadei thermissi
ont oget
backaty ou.Sheblamesy ouforhermot her
’s
death 
Me:
what
?
Him:yep.Yol
andaIl
oveyou.Iknowyoudon’t
bel
iev
emebutI ’v
efal
leni
nlovewit
hy outhese
pastf
ewmont hsandlosi
ngyouhasturnedme
i
ntothi
smonst erI’
vebecome.Iknewy oudidn’
t
l
ovemebackbutIl ovedyouanywaywi thhopes
t
hatyouwouldl ov
emei nret
urn.Ithoughtt
hat
maybethreat
eningyouwouldgetusback
t
ogether
Me:
andI
vy?
Hi
m: Ican’
tendt
hingswi
thI
vy.Weget
ti
ng
marr
iedinafewdays
Me:wel
lthenbestofl
uckwi
thev
ery
thi
ng.
pl
easel
eave.
Hegotupandcamet omeandIst
oodmy
ground.Iwasn’
tgoi
ngtobeaf
rai
dofhi
m.not
now.notanymore.
Him:YolandaIt
ri
edt obeci
vi
lwit
hyoubutI
guessthere’
snoreasoni
ngwit
hyou.
 
Me:
Tri
stongetout
Isaidatt
empti
ngtogot othedoorbuthe
grabbedmyarm.Hi sgri
pwassot i
ghtIcoul
d
feelmybonescrushing.
Hi
m:seeingt
hatther
e’snoreasoni
ngwi
thyou
t
henIguessI
’l
lhavetodothingsmyway.
 
Hethr
ewmet ot
hecouchandthengotont
op
ofme.hehel
dmyhandsabovemyhead
Me:
leav
emeal
one
Hi
m:It
ri
edt
opl
ayni
cewi
thy
ouLal
a.Ir
eal
l
ydi
d
Me:
Tri
stonpl
ease
Him: wegoingt omakeadeal orel
seI’ll
goaf t
er
Kendr aandIknowv erywellthatyouwoul ddo
anythingforher.Youaregoingtogetback
togetherwithmeandendt hi
ngswi t
ht hat
boyfri
endofy oursorIsweart oGody ouwi l
l
neverseey ourdaughteragain.
Hel
ookedatmeasIwast
onguet
ied.
Him: Thi
nkabouty ourdaughter
’ssafet
y
Yolandaandj usthowmuchshemeanst oyou.
Andal sothatsist
erofyoursbecauseIknow
thatdespitewhatyousayy ouwill
alwayslove
herandi fyoudon’tt
akemeuponmyof fer,
I
wil
lgoaft
erever
yoneyouloveandcareabout
.
I
’dhatef
orBri
dgettogeti
ntoanaccidentwhi
l
e
gi
vingbi
rt
h.
.
.
ToBeCont
inued
[
05/
10,15:
57]Ron:
*THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#44
.
.
1YEARLATER–NOTEDI
TTED
IsentKendratoSAt oherdad.NowIknowI
hadanopt i
ontomov etoSAwi thherbutI
chosenotto.Mi sotr
iedt otal
kmeoutoft his
butIneededtokeepmyf amilyandmyl ov
ed
onessafeandt hiswast heonl ywayto.Af
ter
Tri
ston’
svisi
tIgotanot herv i
sitf
rom I
vyand
basedonwhatshet oldmeTr i
stoni snotj usta
doct orbuthei spar tofThe$pr it
z .Hei st heir
doct orandhei sv erymouchcov er edbyt hem
sor unni ngawaywontgetmeany wher einst ead
I’
lll
eav emyl i
feont her unandI ’m notr eadyf or
that.Ir atherst ayandf ightformyl if
er ather
thant oputev ery
oneIl ov eindanger .Ihav e
seent hest or i
esaboutt hesepeopl eandI ’ve
readt hepaper sandt hethingst heyar ecapabl e
ofar ebey ondany one.TheGov ernmentai ntgot
nothingont hem andhehi mselfreliesont hem
i
nhi dinghi sbusi nesssowhoam It ot hem
reall
y ?Iwasengagedt obemar r
iedt ohi m and
mydaught erorMi sowasnotgoi ngt oat tend
myf uner al-Imeanweddi ng.Myweddi ngwasi n
twoday stime.Mi soandIt riedtodoubl ecr oss
him buti nst eadBr idgetgoti nt
oanacci dentbut
sheandt hebabysur vivedt hankGodsof rom
thereonwedeci dedi tsbestwej ustwor kon
tryi
ngt obr ingt hisguydownnomat terhow
l
ongi ttakesusorwhati ttakesus.Cl i
ckwhoi s
Miso’ssi ster’shusbandhasbeenMI Asot her es
nowaywecoul dt rygethi shelpbecauseat
l
easti fwehadhi m onoursi dethenatl eastt his
messwoul dhav edi eddownal ready.Iwasi n
myr oom cal l
ingmymot herwhowasat tendi ng
theweddi ng, shewoul dbel andingtomor row
mor ning.Iv ywal kedi n.I vyhasbeenTr iston’s
doormat ,Iont heot herhandam t r
eatedl i
kea
pri
ncessbutheal sol oseshi scool withmeat
ti
mesandIf eart hatonedayhewi llhi
tmeev en
thouhehasn’ tlaidahandmey etbuthedi dget
met oqui twor kandgowor katt hehospi taljust
sohecoul dkeepaney eonmeandasf orI vy
shei sthewi fethatdoesev eryt
hingbutst i
ll
getsabeat i
ngi fsomet hi
nghappens.Nott hatI
havenotst oodupf orherbecauseIhav eal ot
oftimesandheal way spr omisestost opbuthe
neverr eallydidunt i
l Ithreatenedt okil
l my selfif
hedi dn’tstopandev ersi ncethenhehasn’ thit
her.Star t
edt ogett hei deat hathei sobsessed
withme.  
Me:
hey
Her
:hi
Shesatont hebed.Tr ist
onmadememov ein
wit
ht hem andatf i
rstthingsbetweenIvyandI
werer ockyokr ockydoesn’ tevenbeginto
descri
bewhatwasgoi ngonbecauseshehat ed
mygut stoapoi ntwher eshepoisonedmyf ood
andIlandedupi nhospi talandbecauseoft hat
Tri
stonl andedheri nhospi t
al,
butwe’vecomea
l
ongwayf r
om sincet henandourr el
ationship
hasimpr ovedIguess.It hi
nkitsbecauseshe
knowsI ’m all
shehas.
Me:
youok?
Her
:Ij
usthat
ethaty
oui
nthi
smess
Me:
Igotmy
sel
fint
hismessI
vy
Her
:butLal
ayoucoul
dhav
eranaway
 
Me:thenli
vemyl i
feonther
un?Icantputmy
daughtert
hroughthatI
vy
Her
:Iunder
standt
hatbutnowy
ourdaught
eri
s
mi
l
esawayandy
oubar
elyev
enseeher
Me:
thi
ngsar
ebet
terof
fthi
swayI
vy.She’
ssaf
e
Her:Iadmi
rey
ousi
s.Youst
rongert
hanany
one
Iknow
Me:
Idon’
thav
eachoi
ce 
Her
:needhel
pwi
thany
thi
ng?
Me:ev
ery
thi
ngi
scov
ered.Ij
ustneedt
oshow
up
Her
:I’
m sor
rysi
s
Me:y
oudon’thav
et oapologi
sef
orany
thi
ngI
vy.
I
’v
eforgi
venyouforever
ythi
ngsi
s
Isaidpul
li
ngherinforahugandsheret
urnedit
withtear
yeyes.shewassincer
eandsowasi .
 
Me:
don’
tcr
ypl
ease
Her:Ihat
emy sel
fforev
ery
thi
ngy
ou’
vehad
endurebecauseofme
Me:
youmyl
i
ttl
esi
ster
.
Webr okethehugandIwipedhertear
swi t
hmy
thumbsbutt het
ear
swouldn’tst
op.Wewer e
dist
urbedbymyphoneringingandwebot h
l
ookedatt hescr
eenandTrist
on’spi
ctur
e
appeared
Her
:Iwi
l
lleav
eyout
oit
.youknowhowheget
s 
Me:
Iguess
Shewal
kedoutandIanswer
ed.
*
**PC*
**
Me:
hey
Him:Babewher
ewer
eyouandwhywer
en’
tyou
answeri
ng?
Me:
Ijustgotoutoft
hebat
hroom
Hi
m:ohok.whatar
eyouupt
o?
Me:I
’m goi
ngtogomakesomet
hingt
oeat
.
Whatareyouupto?
Him:pl
easemakesomethi
ngf
ormet
oowhi
l
e
youati
t.I
’m onmyway
Me:
uhhm okbabe
Hi
m:Wheni
sKendr
acomi
ng?
Me:
she’
sbusywi
thSchool
babe
Him:It
oldy
ouweshoul
dgetmar
ri
edwheni
ts
hol
iday
s
Me:yeahwell
herf
atherwoul
dntl
ethercome
t
hissideal
one
Him:wel
lthencomehol
i
day
swecangof
etch
her
Me:let
shavethi
sconver
sat
ionwhenyouback
okay.Woul
dn’
twantyouget
tingi
ntoan
acci
dentnow
Hi
m:y
ouhav
eapoi
nt.Il
ovey
ou
Me:
lov
eyout
oo
Hi
m:whodoes?
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo
Hi
m:by
enow
*
**EndOfPC*
**
Ididn’
tevenrespondanyfur
therandj
ust
droppedthecallandcal
ledmom asIwasgoi
ng
tobefore.Idi
all
edhernumberandshe
answered
*
**PC*
**
Her
:daught
er
Me:
Mot
her
Her
:towhatdoIowet
hiscal
l
?
Me:
youmakei
tsoundl
i
keInev
ercal
lyou
Her
:eversinceyoumov edi
nwiththi
sguywe
bar
elyhaveourtal
ksandIneverseeyouwhen
I
’mintownany morebecauseyoualway
sbusy
.
Yol
andatalktome
Me:
itsnot
hingmom
Her
:I’
m notst
upi
dYol
anda.I
sthi
sguyabusi
ve?
Me:
nomom he’
snot
.He’
sver
ylov
ing
Her
:howdoy
ougoonandmar
rysomeone
mar
ri
edt
oyourl
i
ttl
esi
ster
? 
Me:
mom pl
ease
Her:
f i
neIwontaskanyf
urt
herquest
ions.Why
di
dy oucal
l?
Me:Iwant
edt
oknowwheny
ouguy
swi
l
lbe
l
andi
ng?
Her
:tomor
rowl
ateron
Me:
Ithoughty
ouwer
ecomi
ngear
li
er
Her:
somet
hingcameupsowe’
l
lbet
her
elat
er
on
Me:
oh…
Her
:by
eLal
a
Me:
byemom.Il
ovey
ouandt
rav
elsaf
ely
Her
:by
eLal
a
*
**EndOfPC*
**
Yesthi
swhatmyrel
ati
onshi
pwithmom has
become.Atl
eastmybr
otherandhi
swi
festi
ll
l
ovemeandar estil
lwithmedespiteever
ythi
ng.
Mom nev erl
ikedTr i
stonandf ormet omarr
y
hi
m…Hel lbr
okel oose.Igotupandheaded
downstairst
ost artpreparingsomethi
ngbut
i
nsteadIgott hereIvyalreadymaking
somethingtoeat .
Me:
yourhusbandi
sonhi
swayback
Her
:oh
Me:
yepandhesay
she’
shungr
y
Her:
I’
m sur
ehewant
ssomet
hingmadebyy
our
hand
Ichuckl
edandsodi
dshe.
 
Her
:whenl
astdi
dyouspeakt
oKen?
Me:
ear
lyt
hismor
ning.Shesai
dtogr
eety
ou 
Her:
ahhmantellherIgr
eet
edback.She’
s
gr
owingupsofast
Me:
yeahshei
s.Imi
sshersomuch
Her
:onedayy
out
wowi
l
lber
euni
tedandi
twi
l
l
bet
hehappi
estdayofbot
hya’
l
lsl
i
fe
Igiggl
edthi
nkingaboutseeingheragainand
touchi
ngherandsmel li
nghershampoo.GodI
missmydaught er.I
’v
eev enlostabitofweight,
Iwentfrom asize32toa28…t hat’
show
unhappyIam.It hi
nkI’
vehitrockbottom
becauseI’
mj ustnothappyatal l
.Whatmot her
wouldbehappyt oseetheirdaughteronlong
holi
daysonly?Ideci
dedtodi alhernumber
*
**PC*
**
Her
:But
ter
cup
Me:
heybeaut
if
ulhowar
eyou?
Her
:I’
m ok.Imi
ssy
ou 
Me:
Imi
ssy
out
oobaby
Her:
whenar
eyoucomi
ngt
hissi
de?Whenwi
l
lI
seeyou?
Me:
Iwi
l
lbet
her
eforhol
i
day
s.
Her
:youpr
omi
se?
Me:
Ipr
omi
se
Her
:butIwantt
ocomet
oyourweddi
ng
Me:
IknowandIpromisethatwhenyouher
e
wewil
lmakeaweddingspecial
l
yforyou
Her
:real
l
y?
Me:
yesr
eal
l
ybaby
Icoul
dheari
nhervoicethatshewasexci
ted
andshecoul
dn’
twaitjustl
ikeme.
Me:
Ilov
eyouok.
Her
:andIl
ovey
out
othemoonandback
Me:Il
ovey
out
othest
arsandback.Wher
es
daddy
?
“
HoneyI
’
m home”
Il
ower
edthephoneandTrist
onwaswalkingi
n
wi
thabunchoffl
owers.Hekissedmycheek
Me:
honeyIhav
etogo
Her
:okmommy
.By
e
*
**EndOfPC*
**
Hegavemealookexpect
ingmetoexplai
nwho
i
twasIwastal
ki
ngto.thi
sisnott
hel
ifeI
si
gnedupf
or.
.
.
ToBeConti
nued–Dedi cat
edtoKayGee
MogauPhakane(Causesheknowshowto
makemefeelgoodaboutmy sel
f-
LOL)
[
05/
10,15:
57]Ron:
**THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#45
.
.
I
vy:
beaut
if
ulf
lower
s
Hi
m:I
’
m sor
ryaboutl
astni
ght
Hesai
dgi
vi
nghert
hef
lower
s
Her
:I’
l
lputt
hesei
nwat
er
Il
ookedatherasshewalkedawaytothesink.
Whatthehel
lhappenedl
astni
ght?Tri
ston
smil
edatme
Hi
m:sowhower
eyout
alki
ngt
o?
Me:
mydaught
er.Whathappenedl
astni
ght
?
Hi
m:not
hingbabe
Me:
Ivy
?
Her
:not
hingRed
Hi
m:I
’
m hungr
y.Whatar
eweeat
ing?
I
vy:Imadesandwi
ches,
Idi
dn’
tthi
nky
ou’
dbe
backthi
sear
ly
Him:
itsokbabe.Letmegochangequi
ckl
yok
andI
’l
lbebacknownow
Hekissedhercheekandthenwalkedout.I
l
ookedatIvywaiti
ngforanexpl
anati
onbutshe
avoi
dedeyecontactwit
hme.Iwasgoi ngtoget
thet
ruthoutofheronewayortheother.
Me:
Yvet
te
Her
:Red
Shet
urnedt
olookatmewi
thasmi
l
e
Me:
Whatdi
dTr
ist
ondot
oyoul
astni
ght
?
Her
:not
hing.I
’
mfi
ne
Me:
finet
hendon’
ttal
k.
Iputmyphoneont hecounterandst ormedof f
tohisroom.Hisstuffi
smost lyinIvy’sroom
andhecomest omineeverynowandt hen…ok
I’
ml y
inghemost l
ysleepsinmyr oom unless
he’smadatmeorsomet hing.Iwal kedinto
thei
rroom andhewasi nthecl osettopless
l
ookingforat-shi
rt
Me:
Whatt
hehel
ldi
dyoudot
oher
?
Hi
m:not
hing.
Me:
I’
m donewi
thy
ou!I
’
mleav
ing.
Hi
m:Landapl
ease.
 
Iwal
kedawayandhehel
dmyar
m.
Hi
m:Landapl
ease.Pl
easedon’
tleav
eme
Me:
youhi
therdi
dn’
tyou?
Hi
m:i
twasami
stakeIswear
Me:
youdon’
thi
tsomeonebymi
stakeTr
ist
on.
 
Ihal
fshouted.Iwaspissed.NowIknowI
thr
eatenhim wit
hleavi
ngbuti sther
er eal
l
y
l
eavinghim?Iknowt hatmet hreat
eningto
l
eavet i
ckshi
m offandIhav ehim atmymer cy
.
Me: y
ouhi tmysi
steraf
teryoupromisedto
neverlayahandonher.Itol
dy out
hatify
ou
everhithert
henIwouldleave
Him:Landaitwasamist
ake.I
vyandIar
efine
now.Wegood.She’sf
orgi
venme,whycan’
tyou
dothesame?Looklet
sgoouttoni
ghtsoIcan
showyoujusthowsor
ryIam
Me:
fucky
ou!
Ipul
ledmyar m awayfr
om him andwent
downstair
swi t
hhimfol
lowingmel i
kealost
puppy.Igrabbedt
henearestcarkeysanddrov
e
off
.Ineededtobeoutoft
hathouseorelseI
wouldgomad.Iparkedi
nsideBri
dget’
syard
andwenttothedoorandknocked,she
answeredaft
erawhil
e.
Her
:whatani
cesur
pri
se
Weshar
edahugandt
henbr
okei
t
Her
:pl
easecomei
n
Me:
howar
eyou?Wher
ear
emynephews?
Her
:Ij
ustputt
hem t
osl
eep
Me:bot
hoft
hem?At
oddl
erandanewbor
n?
How?
Shel
aughed
Her:
magi
c!Howar
eyou?Howar
etheweddi
ng
pr
eps?
Me:Iam goi
ngcr
azyBr
i.Ij
ustwantt
odi
e
al
ready
Her
:you’
veheldonf
orsolongLanda.Don’
tgi
ve
upnow.youhaveadaught
erl
ookingfor
wardt
o
seei
nghermot
heragai
n
Me:themoreIst ayinthathouset hemor eI
l
osemy sel
f.Idon’tknowwhot hehellIam
any
mor e.I
t’
slikeI’
velostmyi dentit
yandI ’
m
not
hingbutTrist
on’sfiancé.IhateitBri
.Ihate
myself
.God
Her
:Landacal
m down.Lookatme
Shehel dmyshoul dersandmademel ookat
her .Iwasr eall
ydef eated.Iwascr yi
ngforallt
he
ti
mesIdi dn’tcry.Ihav ewitnessedt hisguybeat
mysi sterupmor et hanonceandI ’
vehadt o
stepi nal lthetime.exceptt het imeIwasi na
hospi tal bedbecauseofher .Itri
edget t
ingher
tor unawaybutshel oveshi m.Idon’ tknowwhy
shedoesbutshesay sshel ov eshim andshe
can’ tgether selftoleav ehim.whoam It o
i
nt erferet here?Iwasmadatal otofthi
ngsand
notseei ngmydaught er,hol
dingher ,beingwit
h
herandj usthearingherbi ckeringwi t
hher
fatherwasoneoft her easonsIwascr y
ing.
Her:Landay ou’
veheldonf orsolong.Don’tgi
ve
upnow, r
emembert hereasonyouev engot
yourselfi
ntothi
sinthefir
stplaceok?Youdoi ng
thi
sf oryourdaught
erandasl ongasTr i
stonis
thi
sper sonheisthenyourdaught erwi
llnever
besaf e.Youalmostthere
Me:
feel
sli
keI
’
m notget
ti
ngany
wher
ewi
thhi
m
Her:youhav
ey oursi
stert
ohel
pyouwi
th
ever
ythi
ng.yousoclose 
Itookadeepbr eathandl etitout.Godwhywas
thi
ssodi f
fi
cult?Iwaswor ki
ngwi thMJYanga
Bess,Miso’sbrotherandhewashel pi
ngme
buil
dacaseonTr ist
ont hatwoul dlockhi
m up
foryear
sbuti t’
snoteasyget tinginfor
mation
outofsomeonel i
keTriston.Andwi thCli
ckMI A
wehav enothingtogoonsof ar.
Her
:youcandot
hisok?Iknowy
oucan
Me:
hasMJsai
dany
thi
ngt
oyou?
MJandIwer
ecommuni
cat
ingt
hroughBr
idget
andMar cybecauset
henTr
ist
onwoul
dn’
t
suspectathi
ng. 
Her: he’
sbeendi ggingandheandMi sohav en’t
gottenanywher ejustyet
.Theguy ’
sinfor
mat ion
i
swayt ooencryptedandt hey
’vetr
iedjust
aboutev er
ythi
ngbuthe’ ssecuri
tyi
st i
ghterthan
theyhadant i
cipated
Me:
yeahwel
lIwoul
dn’
texpectany
thi
ngl
ess
Her:
may bey
oucant
rygethi
slapt
opor
somethi
ng
Me:
noway
s.Hewoul
dki
l
lme
Her:MJsai dhewoulddropoffsomeUSB
thi
ngyMi somadeandt hatt
hingsissupposed
torecordallofhi
sdat
at heminuteit
sinst
all
ed
onhislaptop
Me:Trist
onhastwolapt
ops,howam I
supposedtoknowwhichiswhich?Who’
stosay
hi
sthingsarei
nthi
slapt
op?
Her
:doy
ouper
hapshav
eabet
teri
dea?You
wanttobewithyourdaught
erdon’
tyou?We
don’
thaveanotherchoi
cehereLal
a
Me:
Iguess.
Her
:youneedagl
assofwi
ne
Ichuckl
ed.Sheknewmeal
ltoowel
l
Her
:doct
ors’
order
s.
Inoddedwhil
elaughi
ng,
Isatonthehighchai
rs
andwatchedherasshepoureduswine
Her
:soar
eyour
eadyf
ormar
ri
age?
Me:
ist
hatat
ri
ckquest
ion?
Shelaughedasshehandedmemygl
assand
shesatopposi
teme
Her
:itdoesn’
thur
ttoask
Me:
Icanseehowmucht
hisi
shur
ti
ngI
vy
Her
:Iv
ywi
l
lthanky
ouf
ort
hisoneday
Me:
Ihopeso.Ir
eal
l
yhopesoey
Her
:shewi
l
l.Imeanhadshenotbeeni
nvol
ved
wit
ht hi
spsychot
henshewoul
dn’
tbehur
ti
ng
l
ikethisnowwoul
dshe?
Me:
Iguess
Her
:she’
l
lthanky
ou.
 
Igulpedmywi neatonego.GodIneededt hi
s,
i
t’sbeenawhi lesinceIdr ankany.Triston
doesn’tapproveofmedr inki
ngespeci all
ynow
thatwet r
yingtogetpr egnant…hiswor dsnot
mine.Ifonlyheknew, Igotmyt ubest i
edt he
dayIdecidedt ogetintowhat everthi
si s.Idon’t
wantababyorany thinglinki
ngmet othis
monst er
.Butwi t
ht hewayhe’ ssoat tachedt o
meIsomet imesthinkI ’
m pregnant.
 
Her
:how’
sthebabymaki
ngpr
ocessgoi
ng?
Il
aughed
Me:
real
l
yBr
idget
?
Her
:yousur
ehedoesn’
tsuspectany
thi
ng?
Me:atthemomentno.hehasn’
tev
en
suggest
edchecki
ngmeout
Her
:youpl
ayi
ngwi
thf
ir
eYol
anda
Me:IknowbutIdon’
twantababybyhi
m.I
woul
ddie!
Her
:what
every
ousayt
hen.
 
Me:
I’
m sl
eepi
ngov
er
Her
:younotev
engoi
ngt
oaskme?
 
Me:
youmysi
steri
nlaw,
whyshoul
dI?
 
Her
:andy
oudon’
tthi
nkhe’
l
lcomeher
e?
Me:
nah.Il
eftmyphonewhi
chhasat
rackeri
n
i
t
Her
:thecarLal
a.Whati
fhet
rackst
hecar
?
Me:
thenl
et’
sdr
iveandgodumpi
tsomewher
e
Her
:youwantt
hisguyt
oki
l
lyouIswear
Me:
hewoul
dn’
tdar
e.Comel
etsgo
Her
:letmegocal
lthenannyf
ir
st.
Me:
okbabe
Shewal
kedout
.thei
rnannyl
i
vedi
nthepool
houseattheback.Iwentt othecartowaitfor
her,
shewasgoi ngtof ol
lowmewi t
hhercar
andthenafterwewoul ddriv
ebackt oget
her.I
knowf orafactthathehasn’ tt
ri
edtracki
ngi t
j
ustyet.Wedumpedi tnexttoanearbyforest
andthenwedr ovetoYonda’ shouseandhe
wasbackal ready.Igreetedandweconv ersed
l
ightl
y.Tri
stoncalledBr i
dgetwhil
ewewer e
cooki
ng.Sheputhi m onspeaker
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:Br
idge
Her
:Tr
ist
on
Hi
m:I’
mlooki
ngformyf
utur
ewi
fe,
anyi
dea
wher
eshemightbe?
Her
:whatdoyoumeany
oulookingf
orLal
a?
Whatt
hehell
didy
oudotoher?
Igaveherl
ookandshehel
dbacklaughter
.He
soundedsoworr
iedi
twasalmostcute.
Hi
m:shej
ustst
ormedof
f.I
’
m wor
ri
edabouther
becauseIj
ustf
oundthecarshelef
tinandshe
wasn’ti
nit
.Whati
fsomethinghappenedt
oher
Her
:ifany
thi
nghappenst
oherTr
ist
on.Iswear
t
oGod
Him: IswearIdi
dn’
tdoany
thi
ngtoherBri
dget.
Pleasebeli
eveme.Wehadalit
tl
eargumentand
shest or
medof f
Her
:hav
eyout
ri
edcal
l
ingher
?
Hi
m:sheleftherphoneandi
tsl
ate.Ican’
tev
en
f
il
eamissingperson’
srepor
t
Her:
youbet
terpr
ayt
hatshe’
sal
i
vewher
ever
sheis
Hi
m:pl
easecal
lmei
fyouhearany
thi
ng
Her
:sur
e.
Hi
m:t
hanksBr
i.By
e
her
:by
e
*
**EndofPC*
*
Sheendedt
hecal
landIl
aughedmyassof
f.
Bri
dgetshoul
dhavegoneintoact
ingIswear,
evenIwasconvi
ncedthatIwasmi ssi
ngwit
h
thewayshehandl
edthecall
. 
.
.
ToBeCont
inued

.
[05/
10,15:
57]Ron:
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGI NED*
**
#46
.
.
PRESENT–THERAPI
STSOFFI
CE
Her
:Thatwasy
ouroppor
tuni
tyt
orunawayand
gol
ivef
reel
y
Igav
easarcast
icchuckl
e.Whatt
hehel
ldoes
fr
eel
ymean?
Me:fr
eely
?andl eav
emysi sterwiththat
monster
?I’m sor
ryDocbutdespi t
eev er
ythi
ng
wewentthroughshewasst i
llmysi st
erandI
wasn’
tgoingtoleaveherwit
ht hatmonster
Her:
butyoulef
therwit
hhim.whoistosayhe
di
dn’tt
akeouthi
sfrust
rat
ionsonher
?
Me: IguessIjustkepthopi
ngthathewoul
dn’t
harm her.Ij
ustneededabreakfrom ev
ery
thi
ng.
Ineededabr eakfrom hi
m.Ineededtogetaway
fr
om t hebothofthem
Her:IhearyouandI’m notheretoj
udgeyoubut
all
I’
m heari
ngar eexcuses.Let’
sgobackto
yoursist
erpoisoni
ngy ou
Me:
whataboutt
hat
?
Her:Ican’
timagi
neitwaseasytof
orgi
veher
aft
ersomethingsoevi
l.Shet
ri
edtogetri
dof
youYolanda
Me: shewashurt
ingthat’
sall.Imeanaf t
erwhat
Tri
stonhadputherthrough,Ididn’
tblameher
becauseIthi
nkIwouldhav edonet hesame
Her:wit
hgoesbacktomyt heory.Someoneof
yournatur
e,sol
ovi
ngandsof or
givi
ngisnot
capabl
eofsuchamur derYolanda.Youheret
o
prot
ectYvett
e
Me:Tr
istonhadt
hepowert
otur
nyoui
nto
somet
hingyounot
Her:yoursist
erwascapableofpoi soni
ngher
ownf l
eshandblood,who’stosayshewasn’ t
capableofsuchamur der?Lalayouar ei
nher
e
bei
ngi l
l-t
reat
edbypeoplebelongingtothe
$pri
tzbecauseofwhatt heybeli
evey oudi
dto
oneoft hem
Me:
Docpl
ease
Her:Yolandawear etr
yingtogetyououtof
hereandi fyouarenotcaref
ulyouwil
lbein
hereforli
fe.Doyounotwantt ogetoutand
backtoy ourdaughter
?
Me:
Idowantt
oseeheragai
n
Her:t
hendot
hisf
orher
.yourdaught
erneeds
you
Me:andwhataboutthebabymysi
steri
s
car
ryi
ng?Doeshe/shenotneedamother
? 
Her
:whyshoul
dherbabybemor
eimpor
tant
t
hanyour
s?
Me:may
bebecauseIknowthatmydaught
er
hast
hebestf
amil
yanyonecouldev
eraskf
or.
 
Her:
seewhatImean?Younott
hisper
son.You
don’
tbel
ongher
eYolanda.
Me:Iappreci
atewhaty
ouar
etr
yingt
ododoc
butt
hisismyf at
e
Sheshookherhead.
Her:yourf
ate?Yolandaweneedt oconv i
nce
thej
udgethaty ouarenotcapableofdoingthat
toaperson.Despit
ey ourhi
stor
ybuty oujust
notcapabl
e.Iwasassi gnedtoyousot hatwe
canseewhet herornotyouguil
tyandf r
om
whatI
’
vegat
her
ed,
younot
. 
Me:whathappenedt
ogui
l
tyunt
ilpr
oven
i
nnocent
Her
:that’
swhatwet
ryi
ngt
opr
oveher
e,y
our
i
nnocence
Me:
 
Her
:ok.Thi
sisenoughf
ort
oday
Me: t
hanky
oudoc.Iwi
l
lseey
oui
nournext
sessi
on
ShenoddedandIgotupandmetupwi thtwo
guardst otakemebackt othehospitalroom I
wasi n,honestlyIdidn’
tseethepointofme
beingi nherebecauseIwasf inetogobackt o
thecel lbutI’
m sureMJhadsomet hi
ngt odo
withmebei nghere.Wegott otheroom and
thereshewas, bl
ackhairli
keherfather’
swi t
h
myey esandnose.Shewasanot herv er
sionof
mewi thblackhairinst
eadofred.Sher antome
andgav emeabonecr ushi
nghugwhi chwas
pai
nfulAFbutIdi
dn’
tmi
ndbecauseImissed
thi
s.t
heguardsgavemeapassonherhugging
me.
Her
:mommy
If
oundmy
sel
fcr
ying,
Ihadmi
ssedhersomuch.
Me:
hel
l
obaby
Ibroket
hehugandl
ookedatherwit
hmyteary
eyesandshewascr
ying.Thet
ear
swoul
dn’t
stopcomingout
“
But
ter
cup”
Godt
hatv
oice.Ev
ennowi
tst
il
ldi
dwonder
sto
me
Me:
Miso
Hejuststaredatmewi t
houtsay inganyt
hing.
Hefeltpit
yf ormeandhedi dn’
tev enhaveto
sayit
.Ilookedl ikeamess…t here’snomakeup
i
nprisonhoney .Ihadabl ueey eandast ab
wound.Icoul dn’tstandthelookonhi sfacesoI
shi
ft
edmyey esonmydaught er
Me:
pleasedon’
tcr
y
Her
:Ij
ustmi
ssy
ousomuch
Me:
IknowbabyandImi
ssy
ouj
ustasmuch
Her
:whenar
eyouget
ti
ngoutofher
emommy
?
Me:
uncl
eMJi
swor
kingont
hat
Hi
m:andhewon’
trestunt
ily
ououtofher
e
Il
ookedupathi
m
Me:
howar
eyou?
Iwal
kedtot
hebedwit
hherarm aroundmy
wai
standminear
oundherneck.
Hi
m:f
ine.But
ter
cupwhathappenedt
oyou?
Me:
it’
snot
hing.I
’
mfi
ne
Heshookhi shead.SeewhyIdidn’
twanttosee
him?Ican’tstandtoseethepai
ninhiseyes.He
feel
sl i
kehecouldhavedonesomethingto
protectmefrom all
ofthi
sandhesomewhat
blameshi mselff
ormebeinghereeventhough
heisn’t.
 
Me:don’
tlookatmel
i
kethat
,ther
ewasnot
hing
youcoul
dhavedoneMiso
Hedi
dn’
trespond
Me:coul
dyoupl
easegogetmommysome
wat
erhoney
Her
:yes,
mommy
Shewal
kedoutandl
eftmewi
thherf
ather
Hi
m:Yol
andawhathappenedt
oyou?Whodi
d
t
hist
oyou?
Me:
MisoI
’
mfi
ne
Him:i
sthatwhyy
our
efusedf
orust
ocomesee
you?
Me: Ididn’
twanty
ouguy
stoseemel
i
ket
his.
especiall
yher
Hi
m: shewantedtoseehermot her.Somet
imes
If
indhercry
inghersel
ftosleepbecauseshe
missesyousomuchYol anda. 
Iwi
pedt
het
eart
hatmanagedt
oescapemyey
e
Him:Yol
andayouhavetowor
kwi
thYangat
o
hel
pgetyououtofher
e
Me:
Miso
Him:NoYolanda.Yourdaughterneedsyou.I
wasn’
tcutouttoplayyourrol
eforyou.Youare
hermotherYol
andaandnotme
Me:
MisoI
Helookedatmeandshookhishead.Idi
dn’
t
evenknowwhethert
ocont
inueornotbecause
heseemedtohavehear
denough
Me:
all
evi
dencepoi
ntst
ome
Hi
m:t
hat
’snott
rue.Youj
ustmadei
tseem l
i
ke
i
t
Me:
Miso
Him:Canyouf
oroncej
ustt
hinkabouty
our
daught
er
Hehalfshout
edst
art
li
ngme.Iwasthinki
ng
aboutmydaught
erbutwhataboutt
heoneIvy
i
scar
ryi
ng?
 
Me:
Ivyi
spr
egnant
.Shedoesn’
tbel
ongher
e
Him:
andyoudo?Yol
andawetal
ki
ngaboutthe
sameper
sonwhotri
edtoki
l
lyouayearago
Il
ookeddown.Kendr
awal
kedi
nwi
thagl
assof
water
.
Miso:
Pri
ncesssayy
ourgoodby
est
omommy
sowecanleave
Her
:butdaddy
Him:visi
ti
nghour
sar
eov
erpr
incess.I
’
llwai
t
outsi
de
Hesaidwalki
ngout
.shehandedmemywat
er
andIputi
tnextt
omeont hetabl
e
Her
:mommyIdon’
twantt
oleav
eyouher
e
Me:Iknowpr i
ncessbutyouhavet
oleav
e
pr
incess.Daddyiswai
ti
ngforyou
Her
:Il
ovey
out
othemoonandback
Me:
andIl
ovey
out
othest
arsandback.
Weshar edahugandIki ssedherheadbef ore
shewal kedouttoherfat
her .Misocanbeso
unreasonabl
ewhenhewant sto.Igeti
the’ s
hurti
ngbutsoam IbutIcan’ tthrowIvyunder
thebus.Whathappenst ot hechildsheis
carry
ing?Igotinbedanddeci dedt odri
nkmy
painmedsandsl eepitoff.Seemsl i
ke
tomorrowIwasgoi ngbackt omycel lmat es.I
cantsayIwasexci t
edthoughbecauset henit
wouldbebackt oreali
ty.
.
[
05/
10,15:
57]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#47
.
.
Iwal
kedinandhewaspaci
ngupanddownt he
l
oungeli
kesomeonewhodi
dn’tgetanysl
eep.I
t
wasthenextdayi
nthemor
ning,hewasonthe
phoneandhesoundedpissed.Icl
osedt
hedoor
behi
ndmeandhet urnedtome
Hi
m:shej
ustwal
kedi
n.I
’
llcal
lyoul
ater
Iwal
kedpasthi
m andhegr
abbedmyar
m.
Hi
m:wher
ethef
uckwer
eyou?
Hewasev enpinkwi t
hangersucht hatIwant ed
tolaughbutIcomposedmy sel
f.Iwasal i
tt
le
ti
psyt oobecauselastnightwast ooli
twi t
hmy
sist
erinlaw.Yondadr ov eust otheclubandhe
requestedusacabi ntheear l
yhoursof
mor ni
ng,saidBriandIneededt ohavesome
funev eni
fit’
sforaf ewhour s.Iadmiret hekind
ofhusbandmybr otheris,he’ssocarefreeand
verylovi
ng.Ilookedathi shandonmyar m and
thenupathi m
Hi
m:answermedammi
t!
Me:Ineededt
obreat
he.Nowpl
easel
etgoof
myarmy ouhur
ti
ngme
Hi
m:andy
oucoul
dn’
tcal
l
?
Me:
how?Myphonei
sri
ghtont
het
abl
e
Her ai
sedhishandinattemptt osl
apmebuthe
stoppedhimsel
finhistracks.Irai
sedan
eyebrow.Honestl
yIthoughthewoul dactfaster
thanhedid,It
houghthe’dthrowmeagai nstthe
walltheminut
eIwalkedi nbuthekepthiscool .
Hi
m:Wher
ewer
eyou?
Me:
att
hecl
ubdownt
own
Hi
m:aclub?Yol
andawhatthef
ucki
sy our
pr
obl
em huh?doyounotwantt
omarryme?
Me:I’
m gladyouaskedbecauseIdon’ twantt
o
marr
yy ouTri
ston.I
’m onlyst
il
lherebecause
youpromisedyouwoul dn’
thurtanyoneinmy
f
amilyifImarri
edyou. 
Het
ight
enedhi
sgr
ip 
Me:
Tri
stonl
etgoofme
Hi
m:Yol
anday
ouar
emi
ne.
Me:
yousayy
oul
ovemebutt
his,
thi
sisnot
l
ove.Youdon’
tfucki
nghi
tsomeoney
oul
ove
Tr
ist
on 
Him: howel
seam Isupposedt
oearnyour
respectYol
anda?I
’
vetri
edever
ythi
ngbutyou
alwaysdosomethi
ngtopissmeoff.
 
Me:maybei
fyoul
etmegot
heny
ou’
dear
nmy
r
espect
.
Hi
m: Iam y
ourhusbandandy
ouar
egoi
ngt
o
r
espectmeatallcost
s
Me:
keepdr
eami
ngMr
.
Iwassocal
m andhewassopissed.Hel
ooked
atmeandchuckl
ed,
heletgoofmyar m.
Hi
m:Ishoul
dkeepdr
eaminghuh?OkYol
anda.
We’
ll
playt
hisy
ourway.
Helookedli
keIalunati
c,Iwasscaredasto
whathemeant .Whathewaspl anni
ngondoing.
Hewalkedupstair
sandIf ol
lowedhim.he
wal
kedintohisroom wi
thI v
yandheuncov er
ed
t
heblanketsandpull
edherbyherhai r
Me:
Tri
stonwhatt
hef
ucki
syourpr
obl
em?
It
ri
edpul
l
inghi
m awayf
rom myscr
eami
ngl
i
ttl
e
si
ster
.
Me:
Tri
stonpl
ease
Him: Itri
edtopl
aynicewi
thyoubutyou
Yolanda.Youjustl
i
kedoingt
hingsyourown
wayr ight?
 
Me:
Tri
stonpl
easest
opy
ouhur
ti
ngher
Het
hrewheront hefl
oorandhewal
ked
t
owardsherbutIranandgoti
nfr
ontofhi
m
Me:
I’
m sor
ry
Him:Yol
andaI’
vedoneev er
ythi
ngyourwaybut
sti
l
lyounotsat
isfi
ed.YouneverhappysoI
’l
lgo
backtodoi
ngthingsmyway
Me:Trist
onpleasedon’tdot hi
s.Wegetti
ng
marri
edtomor r
owandt hel astt
hingwewantis
mymai dofhonourunablet oshowherfaceto
ourguestsbecauseofthis.I’
m sorr
yok.I
promiseIwil
ldothingsyourway
Him: Idon’
twantyoutodothi
ngsmyway
Yolanda.All
Iaskofyouist
hatyour
etur
ntome
theloveI’
m giv
ingyou
Iwastonguetied.Howdoy oumakey our
self
l
ov eamonster?Ireall
yneedtogetthi
s
i
nformati
onbef or
eIdieorIvydi
es.Heseemed
calmer
.Iwalkedov ert
ohim andcuppedhis
face
Me:
Tri
stonI
’
m sor
ry
Hi
m:Idon’
twanty
ourapol
ogyYol
anda
Hehal
fscol
dedme.
 
Me: Youwantmet oretur
ntoyout
heloveyou
givemebuty ounotgi v
ingmeanyreasontofal
l
i
nl ovewit
hy ou.Tri
stonyou’
reamonsterand
I’
m scaredofyou.Howam Isupposedt ol
ove
someoneI ’
m afrai
dof ?
 
Hi
m:tel
lmewhaty
ouwantmet
odoandI
’
lldo
i
tYol
anda.
Hewentdownonhi
skneesandhol
dingmy
handssi
tti
ngonhisheel
s.Withtear
sinhiseyes.
i
nmymi ndallIcoul
dthi
nkofwasnott ofal
lfor
hi
scrocodi
let
ears.Nobodychangesoverni
ght
Hi
m:Iwi
l
ldoany
thi
ngf
ory
ou
Me:youcanst
artbytr
eati
ngIvyt
hesameway
youtr
eatmeorifyousoti
redofhert
henend
t
hingswit
hherandsetherfr
ee
Him:notwhi
leshe’
scarr
yingmybaby
.When
shegiv
esbir
ththenshecanhav
eallt
he
fr
eedom i
ntheworld
IlookedatIvy.She’
spregnant
?Whydidn’
tshe
tell
me?shewascur ledupinacor
nerj
ust
l
ooki ngatus.GodwhatdidIgetmysel
finto?
Me:
Youpr
egnant
?
Shenoddedslowly.Ii
nvol
untari
lyslappedhim.
Howdarehemanhandl eapr egnantwoman?I
wassoangry.Ididn’
tstopatonesl apbutIhit
hi
m conti
nuousl
yandhedi dn’tstopmeatal l
.I
washit
ti
nghimf oreverypai
nhehascaused
me, everypainhehascausedmysi ster,not
beingablet obewi thmydaught er.Just
everyt
hingbadt hathashappenedi nthisperiod
oftime.whenIf eltIhadhithim enoughI
walkedoutoft heirroom andwentt ol ock
my sel
fupi nhi s.Ivyneededt ogetawayf r
om
Tri
stononewayort heother
.Shej ustneededt o
getawayf rom hi m.Somet hingneededt obe
done.Wecan’ tkeepl i
vingli
ket his.Iwasnot
goingtomar r
yt hispsychopat h,I’m sorryIcan’
t.
Isatont hef l
oorandbur i
edmyf aceinmy
handscr yi
ng.Ihear dhi
m knocki ngt ir
elessly
butIdidn’trespond, heknockedunt ilhe
probablyfigureditwaspoi ntlessbecauseaf ter
awhi l
ehehadst oppedIhear dIv y’
ssof tknock
Her
:Redpl
easeopent
hedoor
Ikeptqui
et
Her
:he’
sgoneRed.Pl
easeopent
hedoor
.
Iwashesi
tantbutIdr
aggedmy
selft
oopenfor
herandf
ir
stthingshedi
dwasthr
owhersel
fat
me.
Her
:RedIam sosor
ryy
oui
nthi
smess
Idi
dn’
trespond.
Her:
Wecan’tkeepl
i
vingl
i
ket
his.Wehav
eto
getr
idofhi
m
Ibrokeoutofherarmsandl ookedather
expecti
nghertolaughorgiggleorchuckleor
something.Shecouldn’
tpossi
blybeserious
ri
ght?
Me:
What
?
Her:
RedHe’l
lnev
ersetmef
ree.I
’
m not
pr
egnant
,Il
i
ed
Me:
Idon’
tunder
stand
Her
:thehomet
estwasaf
alseal
arm
Il
ookedathert
ryingtomakesomesenseout
ofwhatshehadjustsai
d.Soshewasn’
t
pregnant
?
Me:
younotpr
egnant
?
Her
:Ijustwant
edhimtost
ophit
ti
ngme.Iknew
t
hattheonlywayhewoul
dstopwasi
fIsai
dI
waspregnant
Me:
Yvet
te!
Her:l
ookhewi
l
lbebacksoon.Redweneedt
o
ki
ll
him
Me:
Arey
oui
nsane?
Her
:Nobodyhast
oknow.Ihavebeengoogl
ing
wayst
ogetri
dofthebodywi
thoutatr
aceand 
Me:whoawhoawhoa!Yv et
tehaveyouanyidea
howinsaneyousoundr i
ghtnow?Besideseven
i
fwet r
iedtokil
lhimt he$pri
tzwoul
dcome
aft
erusallourl
ives.Ihaveadaughterandthey
wouldgoafterher
Her
:theywoul
dn’
tgoany
wher
enearKendr
a
Me:TheBessesaregoodpeopl e.Theydon’
t
dealshadynorar
etheyassociatedwithany
shadydeali
ngssother
e’snowayi nhellmy
daughteri
ssafefr
om the$pri
tz.I’
m notdoi
ng
thi
swithyouYvette.Wecoul
dgetli
feinpri
son.
Weneedt ogatherasmuchinfor
mationabout
him,somethi
ngthatcoul
dbringhi
m downf ora
veryl
ongtime
Her
:Pr
isoni
shi
shomeRed
Me:dependswhi
chPrisonhei
sinsis.Wej
ust
needtogetsomedi
rtonhimthat
’sall
Her
:how?
Me:hetr
ust
syoumoret
hanhetrust
sme.I
needhi
sper
sonal
computerwhi
chhasal
lofhi
s
stuf
f
Her
:Idon’
tknowt
hepasswor
d
Me: youshar
earoom wi
thhimI
vy.Tryget
ti
ng
thepasswordorhav
ehim gi
vei
ttoyou
unlocked
Her
:andt
hen?
Me:
you’
l
linser
tthef
lashdr
iveandt
hengi
vei
t
t
omewheny oudone. 
Her
:Idon’
tknow
Me:
Ivyy
out
rustmedon’
tyou?
Her
:Idob…
Me:t
henl
etmehandl
ethi
spl
ease.Youoweme
t
hismuch
Shenoddedandt
ookt
hef
lash
Me:keept
hissaf
eandmakesur
ehedoesn’
t
seei
tok?
Shenodded.Let ’
sjusthopeIvyissmar tenough
topullt
hisoffwithoutgett
ingcaught.She
walkedoutofmyr oom andlockedmy self
i
nsideagain.GodIhopet hisworks.I
twast he
beginni
ngofNov emberandsoont heyear
wouldbeendi ng.
 
.
.
[
05/
10,15:
57]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#48
.
.
Itookmyl aptopandstartedt ypi
nganapol ogy
emailtot hepeopleIhadi nvit
edf ormyf iasco
ofaweddi ngwhichwoul dn’tbet akingplace
tomorrow.Iemai ledthecat erersandev eryone
responsibleforplanni
ngt hi
sweddi ngandt hen
l
oggedi ntomysky petocal lMiso.Ineededt o
tal
ktohi m.Yeswedot al
kt hroughKendr a’s
phoneandourconv er
sationsar eatami nimum
becauseIl ivewit
hani nsecureASS!Hewas
onli
ne,luckyme.Heanswer ed.
*
**VC*
**
Me:
hey
Hi
m: thi
sisanicesur
pri
se.Haveyoubeen
cr
ying?Butt
ercupwhat
’swrong?
Me:
Ican’
tmar
ryhi
m Mi
so.
 
Hi
m:But
ter
cup
Me: Iknowyout
riedt
alki
ngmeoutofi tandyou
saidweshouldr
unawayt oget
herandIwasa
foolnottot
akeyouupony ourof
ferbecause
thi
slife 
Hi
m:But
ter
cupcal
m downok.Justbr
eat
he
It
ookaf
ewdeepbr
eat
hs
Him:Kendraisal
mostdonewi t
hschool
.We
cantakeoffwhenshe’sfi
nishedwit
hschoolok?
Ipromisey
ouIwillgetyououtofthathouse
Me:
buthe’
sgoi
ngt
ofi
ndus
Hi
m:Butt
ercupletmeworryabouti
tokandy
ou
f
ocusongetti
ngthati
nfor
mation
Me:Igav
et hefl
asht
oIv
y,het
rust
shermor
e
t
hanhetrusts
Hi
m:doy
out
rustI
vy?
Me:
shewant
stoki
l
lhi
m Mi
so…It
rusther
Hi
m:y
out
rustt
ooeasi
l
yBut
ter
cup
Me:
Iwi
shIdi
dn’
tbutaf
tert
oday
.
Hi
m:whathappened?Di
dhehur
tyou?
Me:no.hehasn’tbeenabletobri
nghimselfto
hi
tmeorsomet hingli
kethat.ButI
vy,hejust
…
MisoIcan’
tleav
emysi sterherewit
ht hi
sguy.
Hi
m:Yol
anda
Iknewhewasaboutt ogiv
eal ect
urewhichI
wouldn’
tli
kebecauseever
yt i
meheget sall
seri
ousIgofrom bei
ngButtercuptoYolanda.
Him:Yoursi
sterchosetobewit
hTr i
ston,
you
arewit
hhim becauseit
’ssomet
hingyouhave
todo
Me:sowhatar
eyousayi
ng?ThatIj
ustl
etmy
l
it
tl
esist
ert
ofendf
orhersel
f
Hi
m:sheoncet
ri
edt
oki
l
lyouYol
anda
Me:
Miso
Him:NoYolanda.I
fthatgir
lreal
lylov
ed,youor
evencar
edaboutyout hewayy oudoherthen
shewouldn’
thavepoisonedyou.Youwoul dn’
t
havel
andedinhospit
al.Youwoul dsti
ll
be
car
ryi
ngourbaby
Ikeptquietandswal l
owedr eal
lyhard.Howdi d
heev enknowaboutt hebaby ?Ididn’tknowI
waspr egnantuntil
mydoct ortoldmet hatIlost
thebabyaf terbei
ngpoisoned.Iwasmady eah
surebutIbeggedmydoct ornott otellTri
ston
orany oneforthatmatter
.HowMi sogothol dof
thesenewsIal sodon’tknow. 
Hi
m:y
out
houghtIdi
dn’
tknow?
 
Isl
owl
yshookmyhead
Hi
m:whydi
dn’
tyout
ell
meYol
anda?
Me:
Ijustwant
edt
ofor
get
. 
Hi
m:andhow’
sitwor
kingout
? 
Me:
howdi
dyouf
indout
?
Him:doesitmat
ter
?Ij
ustknowokandIdon’ t
under
standhowyouwouldjustletyoursi
ster
beaft
erwhatsheputy
out hroughYolanda.She
deser
vestogodownwithTriston.Yol
anda
Me:
Misopl
ease.Pl
easel
et’
sjust
Him:what?Stopt al
kingaboutthis?forgeti
t
everhappened?Youcan’ tr
unawayf r
om
every
thi
ngYol anda.Yoursi
sterisjustasbadas
thi
sguyandy our ef
usetoseei t
. 
Ikeptqui
et
Him:Il
oveyoubutsomet
imesIj
ustwi
shI
coul
dkil
lyou
Isti
ll
di dn’tr
espond.Idon’ tknowwhyI ’
m so
for
giving.TrustmeI ’
vetriednott obebutIcan’ t
seem to.Yes, t
hingswer edi f
fi
cultwhenIf ound
outIhadl ostachildIdidn’tevenknowIwas
carr
yingbutshewassi ncer eandshedi d
every
thi ngtoearnmyf orgiveness, eventhough
i
ttookusmont hsbutwewor kedt hingsoutand
Ikeptmymi scarri
agetomy self
.Ev enBridget
doesn’tknowbecausei fshedi dthenhel lwoul
d
havebr okenlooseonI vy.
 
Me:
I’
m sor
ry
Isai
dwi t
htearsrol
l
ingdowni nvolunt
ary.I
stayedi
nthehospital
foraweekandt hatwas
enoughformet omour nhim/herandforgeti
t
everhappenedsothatwhenIgetbackt ohi
s
houseIwouldfocusonot herthi
ngs.Heshook
hishead
Him:Idon’twantyourapologyYolanda.Iwant
youtofocusony oursel
fforonce.Iwantyouto
f
ocusonourdaught er
.Sheneedsy oumor e
t
hanYv et
teneedsy ou.Thisfi
ghti
ngy oudoing
i
ssupposedt obeforyourdaughterandnot
yourdi
abolicall
unati
csist
er.
Idi
dn’
trespond.Ihear
dthedoort
ryt
oopen.
Me:
Ihav
etogo
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ouYol
anda
Me:
byeMi
so
*
**EndOfVC*
**
.
.
PRESENTDAY
Iwasi
nthedoc’
sof
fi
ce.
Her
:Yol
anda 
Me:
yesdoc
Her
:youhadami
scar
ri
age?
Inodded
Her
:andy
oust
il
ltookt
hef
all
forher
?Why
?
Me:
Idon’
tknow.
 
Sheshookherhead.Shewasn’
twr
it
ing
anythingdownbuti
nst
eadshewasusi
ngat
ape
recorder.
 
Her
:hear
ingMi
sospeakthewayhedi
dt oyou,
howdidi
tmakeyoufeel
abouty
oursi
ster?
 
Me:itchangednot
hing.Il
oveI
vyandIl
i
vet
o
pr
otecther
Her:
Atsomepoi nty
oudidn’ tl
i
vet oprotecther
andyourl
i
fewasdoi nggreat.Yolandaitseems
l
ikethi
ssi
stery
ou’veli
vedy ourli
fetoprotect
wouldn’
thavedonet
hesamef
ory
oui
frol
es
wererever
sed
Me:
whatar
eyousay
ingDoc?
Her:thaty oursisterwhom y outhinkl ov esy ou
don’tlov ey outhewayy oul ov eher .Yout oldme
thatthissamesi sterwhom y oupr otect ing
poisonedy ouandy ouendedupwi tha
miscar riage,thi
ssamesi steroncebl amedy ou
forthedeat hofhermot herwhot reat edy oul ike
asexsl ave, t
hissamesi sterwhowoul dr ather
yougodownf orsomet hingshedi di nsteadof
her.Yol andaIdon’ tknowi fyouseei ngt hepoi nt
Iam try i
ngt omakeher ebutseemst omel i
ke
yoursi sterhasonl yevert akenadv ant ageof
yourlov ef orherbecauseaccor dingt omy
knowl edgeofsi bli
ngs,y oust i
ckwi theachot her
andy oual wayst heretodef endt heot her .Just
thi
nkaboutwhatI ’
m say ingok?
Inodded.Idi
dn’
twanttobeli
evethatI
vywould
bethatki
ndofperson.Yeahsur
emay bethe
dochasapoi ntbutshedidthosethi
ngsoutof
reason.Weendedoursessi onont hatnoteand
thenIwast akentothev i
sit
or’
sroom tohavea
sessionwithmyl awyer.Iwasinthevisi
tor
’s
room withMJt odiscussmycaseandwhati t
l
ooksl i
ke.Theyuncuf f
edmeandIsatopposi t
e
him.
Hi
m:whathappenedt
oyou?
Me:
YangaI
’
mfi
neok
Hi
m:noyouar
enot
.Youl
i
mpi
ngandy
ouhav
ea
bl
ueey
e
Me:
Iwi
l
lbef
ine.What
’sup?
Hi
m:y
ouwon’
tbest
ayi
ngher
eforl
ong
Me:
whatar
eyousay
ing?Whatdoy
oumean?
Him:yourboyfr
iendwasani
nsecure
Psychopathwhohadcamera’
splant
edal
l
ar
oundt hehouseaft
eryoumovedinwi
thhi
m. 
Il
ookedathi
m
Him: wemanagedt oobt
aint
hefootagef r
om
thehouseanditprovest
hatyouareinnocent.
Yolandawhydidyouliet
ome?I ’
my ourlawyer.
Yousupposedtotellmethetr
uth
Me:
hav
eyouwat
chedt
het
apes?
 
Hi
m:j
ustbr
owsedt
hrought
hem.
 
Me:
andMi
so?
Him:letmeworr
yaboutmybrotherYol
anda.
Tell
mewhyy oudidn’
ttel
lme?whydidyouhide
thetr
uthfr
om me?
Me:
becauseIbel
ongher
eYanga.Ist
abbedhi
m
Hi
m:i
twassel
fdef
ence
Me:
yes,
butt
hecour
tdoesn’
tknowt
hat
Him:Tri
stonwasnotonlystabbedYolanda,
he
wasbutcheredandIknowyou, youar
enot
capabl
eofbutcheri
ngaperson. 
Ishr
ugged
Hi
m:t
hisi
snotgoi
ngt
owor
kify
oudon’
ttal
kto
meYol
anda.Yourdaught
erneedsy
ou.
Me:
shehasherf
ather
Hi
m:herf
atheri
snoty
ouYol
anda
Me: Ican’tbeamot hertoher .Idon’
tdeservet
o
beamot her.Whatmot herleavesherdaughter
foraman?Al lmyl i
feIv owedt onev erbeabad
motherbuti nsteadIletmy selfbecomeone.
She’smydaught ersheshoul dn’thavehadto
l
ivewi t
houtme.Ishoul dhav etakencar eof
Tri
stonear li
ert hatwaymydaught erdoesn’
t
suff
er.Thi ngsar ebetteroffthiswayYanga.Me
hereandheroutt herewi t
hpeopl ewhowoul d
doany thi
ngf orher
Him:everyt
hingyoudidYolandawasf orher.I
don’
tknowhowy ouseeitbutt omet hat’swhat
amotherdoesf orthei
rchil
d.Youdi dwhaty ou
hadtodoi nordert
okeephersaf efrom t hat
monster.You’r
eanamazi ngmot herandKendr a
i
sluckytohav eyouasamot her.Yoursi steris
l
uckytohav easist
erli
key ou
Me:
howi
sIv
y?
Hi
m:shecal
l
edmeandsheaskedt
otaket
he
st
and
Me:what
?No.Shecan’
ttaket
hest
andYanga.
She’
scl
oset
opopping
Him: sobei
t.Shei
stheonl
yshotwehav
eat
gett
ingyououtofher
e.Yol
andal
ookatt
his.
Helaidoutaf i
l
ef ormewithpi
ctur
esofI
v y
’s
br
uisesfrom whenshegotmar r
iedtoTr
ist
on,
miscarr
iagereports(t
her
ewasabout3or4) ,
a
l
otofmedi calreport
s
Him: t
hisi
senoughtor
educehersent
ence
becausethi
swil
lshowthatshedi
ditoutofsel
f
defence
Me:
she’
spr
egnant
.Shewoul
dn’
tsur
viv
eher
e
Him: t
akeherbabywhenshegivesbirthand
rai
seitforher
.Youdon’tbel
onghere,shedoes.
Yolandayourchi
ldneedshermother.Shegoes
tobedcr y
ingmostnight
s.Shecannotstandit
andaf
terseei
ngyouli
ket
hisy
est
erdayshe
woul
dn’tst
opcry
ing
Ikeptqui
etandwi
pedt
het
ear
sinmyey
es
Hi
m:t
hinkabouty
ourdaught
erf
oronce.
Aftert
hetal
kwi
thYangaIwast
akenbackt
o
thecell
.
.
.
[
05/
10,15:
57]Ron:
*THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#49
.
.
Ididn’
trespondbecauseIknewitwashim.
Eventual
lyIgotoutofmyroom onlybecauseI
missedmyphoneandImi ssedtal
kingtomy
daughter.It
ookmyphonewher eIhadleftit
andhewassi t
ti
nginthel
oungewithIvylayi
ng
onhi
schest
.Idi
dn’
tsayany
thi
ng
Hi
m:Yol
anda
Ididn’
trespondinsteadIunlockedmyphone
andIhadadozenmi ssedcall
sfrom Mom and
everyoneelse.I
’m surepeoplewerewonderi
ng
whyI ’
dcancel t
heweddi ngthedaybefor
ethe
actualwedding.Iwalkedoutcalli
ngmom
*
**PC*
**
Her
:Yol
andaIhav
ebeencal
l
ingy
ou
Me:
hel
l
omom.howar
eyou?
Her
:don’
t.j
ustdon’tst
artwi
thmeYol
anda.
Whatt
hehelli
sthis?
Me:mom I
’
m goodt
oot
hanky
ouandhowar
e
you?
Icoul
dlit
eral
l
yfeel
Triston’
seyesonmebutI
tol
dmy sel
fIwasn’
tgoingtoturnatal
l
Her
:Yol
anda
Me:
mom pl
ease
Her:It
oldy
ounottomar
ryt
hisguyt
obegi
n
wit
h.Misolov
esyou 
Me:y
es,mom andIl
ovehi
mjustasmuchbut
t
hisi
ssomet
hingIhavet
odo
Her
:Idon’
tunder
standwhatexact
lyiti
sy ou
hav
etodoYolanda.Thi
smani sdangerous
Me:
Iknowmom
Shesi
ghed
Her
:wel
lI’
m gl
ady
ounotmar
ryi
ngt
hisman
Me:
Ican’
tmar
ryhi
m mom.He’
samonst
er
Her:
babygetoutoft
hathouseandj
ustcome
home
Me:
Mom pl
ease
Her:noYol
anda.Misosayshecangety ouajob
atBessandthenyoucanleavethathospit
al
andbewithyourf
amily.Don’
tyoumi ssyour
famil
y?
Me:
youknowImi
sst
hem mom.Ij
ustwantt
o
bewi
thmydaught
er
Her
:thenl
eav
ethatmanYol
anda
Me:
mom Ishoul
dgo.I
’
llseey
oul
atery
eah?
Her
:si
nceI
’
m her
emi
ghtaswel
l
Me:
Ilov
eyoumom
Her
:Il
ovey
out
oobaby
*
**EndOfPC*
**
Hecl
ear
edhi
sthr
oatandIt
urnedt
olookathi
m
Hi
m:soy
ouseri
ousaboutnotgoi
ngt
hrough
wi
tht
heweddi
ng?
Me:
yes
Him: whatdoIhav
etodof
ory
out
omar
ryme
Yolanda?
Me:nothingTr
ist
onbecauseitwil
lnever
happen.Iwoul
dratherdi
ethantomarryyou.
Whyam IhereTrist
on?Whyar eyouhell
benton
marryi
ngme?
Hi
m: becauseYol
andaIl
oveyou.You’
rean
amazingwomanandIdon’tseemysel
fleav
ing
wit
houtyou. 
Me:you’
vebeendoingal
lofthatl
ongbef
oreI
cameint
othepict
ureTri
ston
Hi
m: Iam notl
ett
ingy
ougoYol
andaandt
hat
’s
t
hat!
Hehitthecount
erstartl
ingme.Ilookedathim
andheseemedpi ssed,Ithi
nkhewaspi ssedfor
alotofthi
ngsbutIjustpressedabutton
Me:
we’
l
lseeaboutt
hat
.
Iwalkedtowardst
heexitwhi
chwaswher
ehe
wasst andi
ngandhegrabbedmyar
m and
pul
ledmet ohim
Hi
m:y
ounotgoi
ngany
wher
e!
Me:
Tri
stonl
i
vemeal
one
Him:NO.I’
veletyouwalkallovermeforal
ong
ti
menowandI ’
m doneYolanda.Cl
ear
lyIwon’
t
earnyourr
espectsoI’
ll
takeit.
Hesai
dpushingmetothecounterbutIlanded
onmyhands.Itur
nedaroundandIslappedhim
andt
hatal
onewasl i
keaninvi
tat
iontoahot
sl
apfr
om me
Hi
m:y
ounotl
eav
ingmeYol
anda
Hesai dholdingmebymyneckandIhel dhis
handt ryi
ngtocat chmybr eat
hwhi chwas
runningout.Icouldn’tbreatheatallandhe
wasn’ tst
opping.Wher ethehellwasmysi st
er
whenIneededher ?Itri
edsearchingforaglass
onthecount erbehi ndmeandIgothol dofa
coffeemugandhi thi
sheadwi thitanditbroke
onhi m andhel etgoofmehol dinghishead.I
tookakni feandpoi nteditathim
Hi
m:whatar
eyougoi
ngt
odowi
tht
hat
?
Me:
Tri
stonst
ayawayf
rom me
Hecl
osedtheki
tchendoorandl
ockedi
tthen
wal
kedtowar
dsme
Hi
m:whatar
eyougoi
ngt
odowi
tht
hatYol
anda
huh?I’
vegiv
eny ouever
ythi
ngawomancoul
d
askforbutyou’
reanungrat
eful
b*t
ch.
Me:
Tri
stonSt
ayawayf
rom me
Isai
dmov
ingbackbuthekeptcomi
ngcl
oser
Him:Thissi
sterofy
our
syoupr
ideyour
sel
fin
pr
otect
ingsomuch.wherei
sshenowhuh?
YVETTE
Heshout
edf
orhernamebutshedi
dn’
trespond
Him:seewhatImean?Shedoesn’ tcar
eabout
you.Sheneverdid.Shetri
edtokil
lyouYolanda
andyoustil
lheresti
llpr
otect
ingher.Shenever
l
ovedy ou
Ishookmyhead.Justt
hensheknockedont
he
doorbehi
ndhi
m
Him:seemsli
keIspoket
oosoon.May
bewe
shoul
dinvi
teheri
n.
Ist
il
ldi
dn’
trespond.
Me:
Tri
stonpl
easecanwej
ustt
alkaboutt
his
Him:webeyondt
alki
ngYolanda.Youpl
anning
onleav
ingmeandIcan’
tletyoudothatI
’m
sorr
y.
Hegotcl
oserandIswungt
hekni
feathi
m and
hest
eppedbackali
tt
le
Me:
Idon’
twantt
odot
his
Him:Idi
dever
ythi
ngYolandabuty
oudon’
t
l
ist
en.Your
efusetoseereason
Idon’
tknowhowhemanagedt ograbholdof
meaf tert
hearguingwe’v ebeenhav i
ngbuthe
gotmeandwest r
uggledwiththekni f
emaking
mestabhi m onhisstomachandhef el
ltot
he
fl
oor,IwassoshockedIt hr
ewt heknifeonthe
fl
oorandlookedatmyhandst hathadhisblood
onthem.Iwat chedhim ashewi ncedinpai
n.
Iv
ywasst il
lbangingont hedoor .Ir
antothe
doorandopened.
Her
:Lal
awhathappened?Youhav
ebl
ood!
Me:
I….Idon’
tknowwhathappened.One
minut
eweargui
ngwi
tht
hekni
feandt
henI
st
abbedhi
m
Her
:OhmyGod.
Me:
Wehav
etor
ushhi
mtot
hehospi
tal
Her
:NO!
Il
ookedather
.Ir
efuset
obemur
der
er.That
’s
notmeI’
m sor
ry
Her
:Wecan’
tdot
hatRed
Me:
He’
sgoi
ngt
odi
e
Her
:Thenl
ethi
m. 
Ishookmyhead.
Me:
NoYv
ett
e.Wecan’
tlethi
m di
e
Her
:ifwedon’
tki
l
lhi
mthenhe’
l
lcomeaf
terus.
 
Me:
NO!
Her
:Yol
anda
Me:NOYv et
te.Iam notamur
der
erandIwon’
t
st
artnow
Her
:itwasei
thery
ouorhi
m Lal
a
Me:
Idon’
tcar
e.Iam notamur
der
erYv
ett
e. 
Her
:okok
Shecuppedmyf
ace.
 
Her:
gogetyour
sel
fcl
eanedupandIwi
l
ldr
ive
hi
mt ot
hehospi
tal
myself
Me:
yousur
e?
Her
:yes.Comehel
pmegethi
mtot
hecar
Inodded.Iwasst i
l
linshockthatIstabbeda
person.Iam notusedtothi
sandIdon’ tthink
i
t’
ssomet hi
ngIeverwanttodot hati
nmyl if
e.I
t
waspai nf
ultowatch.It
ookof ft
heshi r
tIwas
wearingwhichhadbloodstai
nsandpr essedit
onwher eIhadstabbedhim
Me:
thebl
oodi
sredsoIdi
dn’
thi
tany
thi
ngf
atal
Wegotoutandplacedhiminthebackseatof
t
hecar,
hewashal f-
consci
ousaswegothimin
t
hecarandIputhishandontopofthewound.
Iv
ygotint
hefr
ontseatandIwenttogetmy sel
f
cl
eanedupandthencl
eanedupthestainonthe
fl
oor
,Il
ookedfort
heknif
ebutIcoul
dn’tfi
ndit.
Me:
IthoughtIt
hrewi
tont
hef
loor
Isaidtal
kingt omy self.Ilookedar oundandi t
wasn’tthereatal l
,Iwentonmykneesand
searchedundert hef r
idgeandev er
ythi
ngt hat
hadspacebet weeni tandt hefloor.Iwentt o
thesinkandt her ewasn’ tanykni fe.May beIvy
washedi twhenshecamet ofetchherphone, I
thoughttomy self.IWentupst airstoclean
my sel
fupandt henwentt ohi sr oom andhi s
l
apt opwasunl ockedandt heflashwasi nserted
i
nt heUSBsl ot …expl ainswhyI vydi dn’
tget
thereinti
me.Iwai t
edf oritt ofinishandt henI
dial
ledMi so’
snumberwhi chIknewbyhear t.
Onlyhecant alkmedownf rom theshockI ’mi n.
Heanswer edaf terawhi le.Ididn’ tevencar e
whatt i
mei twasi nSAIj ustneededt ot al
kto
him.
*
**PC*
**
Hi
m:But
ter
cup 
Me:
hi
Hi
m:y
ousoundshaken.Ar
eyouok?
Me:MisoIst
abbedTr
iston.IswearIdidn’
tdoit
onpur
pose,i
twasami stake.I
vy’
srushinghi
m
tot
hehospit
alaswespeak
Hi
m:But
ter
cupBr
eat
hef
orme
Itr
iedtobreat
hebutIcoul
dn’
tgetoverstabbing
hi
m.I twasscaryseei
nghi
mlyingonthatfloor
hel
pless,i
t’
snotme.I’
m nott
hisper
son
Me:I’
m notaki
l
lerMi
so.Idi
dn’
tdoi
ton
pur
pose
Him:I
vyi
srushinghi
mtot
hehospi
tal
isshenot
?
Leti
tbeBut
tercup
Me:
I’
m scar
ed.Whati
fhedoesn’
tmakei
t?
Him:he’sgoi
ngtobefi
ne.Butt
ercupuset
his
opport
unit
ytopackupyourthi
ngsandgoto
y
ourmot
her
.She’
sint
own,
isshenot
?
Me:
Ihav
ethei
nfor
mat
ion
Him:I
’l
lcal
lmybr
otherandaskhi
mtomeet
youatyourol
dpl
ace
Me:
okt
hanky
ou
Him:youdon’
tneedt
ot hankme.j
ustbesaf
e
ok.Iwil
lbet
hereMonday
Me:
andKendr
a?
Hi
m:I
’
lll
eav
eherwi
thmyauntAsemahl
e
Me:
okt
hen
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ouBut
ter
cup
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo.ki
ssKendr
aforme
Hi
m:wi
l
ldo.By
eBut
ter
cup
*
**EndOfPC*
**
Ical
ledmom andaskedhertocomefet
chme
becauseIhadnoideawher
emycarkeyswere.
Yes,Il
iv
edtheli
feofbei
ngdri
ventoandfr
om
worksoy eah.Shesaidshewasonherwaywi t
h
anextrasui t
case.Shegother ebeforeYvett
e
gothere.Icalledherandsheanswer edsayi
ng
shewasst i
llatthehospitalwaiti
ngt ohearsoI
tol
dherI ’dbet her
elater.Ineededt ogetoutof
herefi
rst.WhenIwasdonewedr aggedmybag
tomom’ scarandt henwedr ovetomyol d
houseandt henIborrowedhercart ogocheck
onTristonatt hehospitalbutIvyandTr i
ston
weren’tthere.Ok?
.
.
[05/
10,15:
57]Ron:
*THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGI NED*
**
#50
.
.
PRESENT
Doc:Yol
andayoudidn’
tki
llt
hisperson.How
doesaknif
esuddenlydi
sappear?
Me:I
vytooki
twhenshewassupposedl
ytaki
ng
hi
mtothehospi
tal
Her
:soI’
m assumi
ngshebut
cher
edhi
m ont
he
wayther
e?
Me:
Idon’
tknow
Her
:Yol
andaIcan’
thel
pyoui
fyounotwi
l
li
ngt
o
t
ell
meev er
ythi
ng.
 
Isi
ghed
Me: Igotacal
lfr
om Iv
ytell
i
ngmeshehadbeen
arr
estedformurder
ingTri
ston.SoIwentdown
tothestati
ont
ot ur
nmy sel
fin
Her
:Idon’
tunder
stand
Me:
Iwast
heonet
hatst
abbedhi
m doc
Her
:buty
oudi
dn’
tki
l
lhi
m
Me:
yes,
butt
heev
idencepoi
ntedt
ome
Her:Evi
dencecouldbepl antedYol
anda.Just
becausetheevidencepointstoyoudoesn’t
meany ouaretheonet hatcommi t
tedthe
cr
ime.
 
Me:
Iknowt
hatdoc
Her
:thenwhydi
dyoul
i
e? 
Ishr
ugged
Me: becausewhenIsawmysi sterIsawt he
l
ittl
egi r
lIgrewupwi t
handl i
v edt opr ot
ect,
I
couldn’tlethergodownf orsomet hingshe
di
dn’ tdo.Inmymi ndIthoughtt hathehaddi ed
ont hewayt hereunti
lIsawt hepi cturesofhim.
Picturesofhim all
cutup
Her:andy oustil
lhadthechancetocomeclean
aft
erseeingt hepict
uresofhi
m butyouchose
notto.I
nst eadyouaskedyoursist
ertoski
p
town 
Me:
itwast
hebestt
hingt
odo
Sheshookherhead.
Her:youkeepsayi
ngthatyoudideveryt
hing
youdidforyoudaught
erwheni nact
ualfact
ever
ythi
ngy oudi
dwasf oryourungr
atefull
i
ttl
e
si
ster.Tri
stonwasrightaboutyoursi
ster
becauseifshereal
lydidloveyouthenshe
wouldn’thavel
etyout aket
hefallf
orher
Isi
ghed
Her:
Yourlawyerappl
i
edf oranappealt
o
pr
esentt
hev i
deotheyfoundinyourhouse
Me:
butt
hev
ideoshowsmest
abbi
nghi
m
Her:
andital
soshowsy
oursi
sterbut
cher
ing
hi
m upl
ikesomemeat
Me:
no.I
vyi
snotcapabl
eofdoi
ngt
hat
Her:wasshenott heonewhokindl
yof f
eredt
o
takehi
mt ot hehospi
talev
enaf
tershehad
askedthatyouleavehimtodi
e.Yolandayour
daughterneedsyou.
Inodded.Tohearthatmydaughtercr
ieshersel
f
tosleepcal
li
ngmynamebr eaksmyhear ttothe
core.Maybeit
’saboutt
imeIthoughtabouther
andnobodyelse
Her
:yourdaught
erneedsy
ouYol
anda.Thi
nk
abouther
Inodded.
Her:Iwouldli
keforustocont
inuewit
hour
sessionsevenaf
teryouareoutofher
e
Me:
Iwoul
dlovet
hattoodoc.Inev
ert
hought
t
her
apywoul
dbethi
sgood
Her:
yousee?Tal
ki
ngt
oast
rangerhel
ps
someti
mes.
Wehadabr iefconver
sati
onbeforeIwentto
meetupwi t
hIvy.Shelookedbeauti
ful
,the
pregnancyl
ookedgoodonher .Isatdown
opposit
eher.
Her
:hey
Me:
Hey
.Youl
ookbeaut
if
ul 
Her
:thanky
ou.
Shelookedatmeandt
ear
srol
l
eddownher
eyes
Me:
heydon’
tcr
ypl
ease
Her:
youherebecauseofme.Youthefal
lfor
meev enaf
terever
ythi
ngIdi
dtoyou.Whydid
youdothatred?
Me:that’
sbecauset
hat
’swhatsi
ster
sdof
or
eachother
Her:Ihaven’
tbeenmuchofasi stert
oy out
hou.
Imeany ouneededmeandIwasnev erther
efor
you.Ishouldhavei
nsist
edont aki
ngthefal
l
becauseIwast heonethatki
l
ledhim andnot
you
Me:
Ivyi
t’
sal
li
nthepast
Sheshookherhead
Her:Yourdaught
erhashadt oli
vewit
houty
ou
becauseofmeandIhat emy sel
ffort
hat
.Miso
tol
dmeaboutt hemiscarr
iage
Me:Mi
socamet
oseey
ou?Yv
ett
eIt
oldy
out
o
l
eav
etown
Sheshookherhead
Her
:Icoul
dn’
tleav
eyouher
eal
oneRed.And
yesMisodidcometoseemeandhesai dalot
ofthi
ngsthatmadesense.Ishoul
dbeher
eand
notyouYolanda
Me:
Ivyi
tsok.Tomor
rowI
’
m goi
ngt
ocour
t
Her:Ipr
omisey
ou.Tomor r
owatthi
sti
meyou
wil
lbeholdi
ngyourdaught
eri
nyourar
ms
Ismi
l
edandr ubbedherhandsandsher
etur
ned
asmil
etoo.
 
Me:
how’
spr
egnancy
?
Her
:hel
l
.Ij
ustwantt
opopal
ready
Me:
youonl
y6mont
hsI
vychi
l
l
Her
:somet
imesIwi
shI
’
dabor
tedt
hisbaby
Me:
don’
tspeakl
i
ket
hat
Her
:it
’sonl
ygoingtobeaconst
antr
emi
nderof
t
hehelli
tsf
atherputmethr
ough
Me:no.yourbabywill
bear eminderthaty
ou
surv
ivedi
tall
.You’r
estrongert
hany outhi
nk
Yvett
eandI’m pr
oudtocallyoumyl i
ttl
esist
er
Her
:Red
Me:
yes
Her
:pl
easedomeaf
avour
Me:
uhhm ok…
Her:WhenIgivebi
rthpleasetakecareofmy
babyforme.Ihaveanaccountf orhim orher,
I’
vebeensavi
ngev ersi
nceIdon’tknowbutI ’m
surei
twill
beenought otakecareofhi m orher
.
Iwil
lgiv
ethepapersthathaveev eryt
hingto
MisowhenIseehim ok.Pleaset akecareofmy
baby
Iwi
pedat
eart
hatmanagedt
oescape
Me:it
’smyniece,
ofcauseI
’
dtakecar
eofher
l
ikeshe’
smine.
Shesmiledt
hroughhertear
sandsodidI.We
spokesomemor eandthenIwastakenbackt
o
mycell
.
.
.
THATNI
GHT–YVETTE
Icouldhav et akenmyhusbandt ot hehospi tal
butthatwast hemostbeaut iful sightofhi mI
hadev erseen.Sohel plessandscar edf ora
change.Iwon’ tlieitexcitedmet oseehi mlike
thatandIj ustwant edhi mt osuf fer .Ihadno
choicebutt of i
nishhim of f.Ihadt odoi tforme
andmysi st erbecausehadIl ethi ml i
vet henhe
wouldhav ehunt edeachoneofusdown.Thi s
wasmychancet ofinall
ydor i
ghtbymysi st
er
andbet hesi st ershe’sbeent omeal lthese
years.Idrov edownt oanabandoned
warehouseandst art
edst abbi nghi m count l
ess
ti
mes, Idon’tknowwhatgotov erme, Iguess
theangerIhadbeenhol dingi nf orsol ongt ook
overmeandIj ustkeptonst abbi nghi m
everywhereunt ilyoucoul dbar elyr ecogni sehis
faceandbody .Myonl ymi stakewast onotget
ri
dofmysi st er’sshirtthatshehadpl acedon
thebleedingar eabecauset heni tbecame
evidencef ort hecr i
me.Iknewt hatt he$pr it
z
woul dl ookf orhi m andf indhi mt her e.I’
m
sur prisedi tt ookt hem 3day st of indhi m seei ng
howmuchofanassethei st ot hem.Redcal led
met hatdaybutIcoul dn’
tf aceherj usty et.After
thebodywasf oundIwentt ohandmy selfin
andwhenshef oundoutIwasi npr isonshe
tri
edt osav emebuti nsteadal l
ev i
dence
point edt oherandshewasmor et hanwi l
li
ngt o
taket hef allforme.It ri
edt ogethernott odo
thi
sf orme, Ireallydidbutmysi st erisa
goodhear tedper sonandshet akescar eof
otherpeopl esneedsbef oreher sel f.Mehandi ng
my sel fi nmadei tseem likeIwast heret ocov er
upf ormysi st er.The$pr itzdidn’ tmaket hings
easyf orherbecauseher eshei sl ockedupi n
prisonbecauseofme.Asi ft hatwasn’ tbad
enough, threemont hslaterIf oundoutIwas
pregnantwi t hhischi l
d, myf ir
stt houghtwast o
getanabor tionbutRedconv i
ncedmenott o
andIl istened.I thasn’ tbeeneasybutI ’m copi ng.
Idon’ thav eany onebutmysi sternowandher
fami l
yhat esmygut s.Theybl amemef or
ever ythingt hathappenedt oRed, hermot her
wentasf arassay i
ngshecur sest hedayshe
metmesoy eah.That ’
smyl i
feandIhav eto
maket hingsr ight .Iknowmanywoul daskwhy
thesuddenchangeofhear twhenIl etmysi ster
stayi npr isonf orawhol e6mont hs…t ruthis
therewasn’ tanychangeofhear t
, I
’vebeen
want ingt odot hisf oral ongt imebutRed
woul dn’ tletmedot hisf orher ,
inst eadshet old
met oski pt hecount ryandgol ivemyl ifeand
that’swhatIdi d, forawhi leunt il
Ideci dedt hat
thiswasn’ twor kingf ormesoIdeci dedtogo
backt oLAandwhenIgott hereImetupwi th
Mi sowhowasn’ taf raidtospeakhi smi ndand
tellmet ogetmyshi ittogetherandgetmy
sisteroutoft her e.Mi sol ovesRed, sheis
blessedt ohav esomeonet hatlov eshert he
wayt hisguyl ov esherbecausesomeofus
aren’tsol ucky . 
.
.
3MONTHSLATER
Yvettegav ebirtht
oabeaut iful
babyboy
yesterdayni ght…mypr edi
cti
onswer ewr ongI
guess.Thecasewasasuccessbutmysi ster
wassubj ectedt oparol
eaf t
erserving25y ears
i
npr ison.Shegotl uckybecauseitcameout
thatTr i
stonwasabusi vetowardsherandshe
l
ost4chi ldrenbecauseofhi m andsot hej udge
wasl enientt owardshersot hat’
sgoodIguess.
Mydaught erwashappyt ohavemebackandI
washappyt obebackt oher.MisoandIwer e
good…Wewer emor ethangoodi fyouaskme.
Wel ivedt ogetherandsoonwewer egoi ngt o
mov et oSout hAfr
ica,mydaught erlovesi t
thereany wayandsodoesherdadsoIf i
gur ed
whynot .Mi soandIwer ei
nbedcuddl ing.
Me:
thanky
ou
Hi
m:f
or?
Me: maki
ngmeseewhat ’
simport
ant.Knocki
ng
somesenseintomyhead.Convi
ncingmet obe
self
ishf
orachangeandthi
nkaboutmyf amil
y
fi
rstbef
oreany
oneelse.Mi
soIloveyou. 
Hi
m:Il
ovey
out
ooBut
ter
cup
Me:
Mar
ryme
Icl
aspedmymout
h.Thatcameoutunexpect
ed.
Hechuckl
ed
Hi
m:whatdi
dyousay
?
Justt
henmyphoner
ang
Hi
m:i
gnor
eit
Me:
itcoul
dbei
mpor
tant
Isai
drol
li
ngov
ert
otakei
t,i
twast
hepr
ison.I
answer
ed
*
**PC*
**
Me:
hel
l
o
Person:
hi,
mayIpl
easespeakt
oYol
anda
Graham
Me:
thi
sisshe
Her:
wewouldl i
keyout
ocomedownt
othe
st
ati
on.Ther
e’sbeenanacci
dent
Me:
anacci
dent
?Whatdoy
oumean?
Her
:pl
easej
ustcomet
othest
ati
on
Me:
uhhm.
..I
’
m onmywayt
hen
Her
:hav
eagr
eatday
*
**EndOfPC*
**
Iswal
lowedhar
d.What’
ssoimport
antt
hatshe
coul
dn’tt
ell
meovert
hephone? 
Mi
so:
ever
ythi
ngok?
Me:
Ihav
etogodownt
othest
ati
on.
Hi
m:uhhm okl
et’
sgetr
eadyI
’
lldr
ivey
ou
Me:
thanks
Igotuptogoshower.WhenIcameouthewas
donemakingt
hebedandsitt
ingont
hebed
wait
ingonmealldr
essedup.Wit
hclot
hesl
aid
outonthebedforme.WhenIwasdonewe
headeddownst
airsandtol
dKendra’snannyt
o
takecar
eofKendraaswewer egoingtobe
backsoon.Wegottothestat
ionandtheyled
ustothehospi
tal
Me:
ismysi
sterok?
Nurse:
Iam sorryMissGr
aham butwef
ound
yoursi
sterdeadthi
smorni
ng
Me:
whatdoy
oumean.Idon’
tunder
stand 
Thi
swhol
eti
meMi
so’
sar
m wasar
oundmy
wai
st
Her:
whenwegott
oherr
oom t
hismor
ningshe
hadpassedon
Me:
how?Howdoessomeonej
ustdi
e?
Her
:itseemsl
i
keshewassuf
focat
edt
odeat
h
Me:
sosomeoneki
l
ledher
?
Her
:itseemsso
Me:
wher
eisherbaby
?
Her
:thebabyi
smi
ssi
ng
.
[
05/
10,16:
00]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#51
.
.
Me:howthefuckdoesababygomi
ssi
ngi
na
f
uckingpr
ison?
Mi
so:
Bu
Me:
Don’
t.Justdon’
t.Youanswerme
Her
:Mi
sswedon’
tknowwhathappened
Me:y
oudon’
tknow?Iam goingt
osuet
his
whol
epl
acef
ornegl
igence.
Her
:Ma’
am I
’
m sor
ry
Me:sorr
ywon’tbr
ingbackmymur
der
edsi
ster
andhermissi
ngsondammit!
Iwasbey ondpi
ssed.Godhowcoul dtheybeso
car
eless.She’
saprisoner
,theynotsupposedto
beleftal
one.Iwoul
dknowbecauset heykepta
cl
oseey eonmeatal lt
imeswhenIwasher e.
Shekeptquiet
Me:
Iwantmynephewf
oundatal
lcost
s!
.
.
AFEW MONTHSLATER
I
v yhadadi gni
fiedfuner
alandwest i
llhav en’t
foundmynephewev ennow.Weev enwentas
farashiringaPIbutwehav en’tgottenany thi
ng.
Somet i
mesIf eelli
kegivi
ngupbecausei tfeels
l
ikeadeadend, wheredoy ouev enbegi n
l
ookingf ora1dayol dbabywhoi snow4
mont hsol d?Ineverevengotapi ct
ur eoft he
babysoev enifIsawhi m Iwoul dn’
tknowi twas
him.Myhopei sthatwefindhi m onewayort he
other.I
thasn’ tbeeneasycopi ngbutIt akei t
onedayatat i
me.Mymai nf ocuswasmy
daught er,Ineededt omakeupf oral lthel ost
ti
mesandshewasgr owi ngt olookmor eand
mor elikeme.Wewer ei nSAper manent lybut
wekeptmyhousei nt hest atesf orhol iday s.We
werei nt heloungeandIwasl ayingonhi schest,
IdroppedKendr aof fatsomer est aurantwher e
oneofherf riendswashost i
ngt hei rbirthday
whichmeantonher swehadt obr i
ngi t…Ki ds
herinSAormay beall aroundt hewor l
df eel t
he
needt ogobey ondt heirf ri
end’ sbi rthdaypar t
y,
i
t’ssomet hi
ngIr ecent l
ynot i
cedbecauseev ery
partyKendr ahasat tendedshecomesback
sayingi twasbi ggerandbet tert hant hel ast
wher easwhenwel i
v edi nt hest ateswehar dl
y
gotthatormay beInev erreallynot i
cedi tback
i
nt hest ates.Any waywewer ej ustsi tt
ingand
watchingar ealityshoworsomet hing,Iwasn’ t
reall
ypay i
ngmuchat t
ent iont oi tbecauseIwas
playingCandyCr ushonMi so’sphonewi thhim.
Hi
m:soBut
ter
cup
Me:
yes
Hi
m:t
hatmor
ning…Wer
eyouser
ious
Me:
whi
chmor
ning
Ipr
etendedt
obel
ost
Hi
m:t
hatmor
ningwehadt
orusht
opr
ison
Me:
oh
Hi
m:y
eah.St
il
lwannamar
ryme?
Me:
ifIsayy
eswi
l
lyoudr
opt
his?
Hi
m: noways.I
’
m onl
yraisi
ngt
hisbecauseI
wantyout
oaskmeagai n
Ipausedt
hegameandt
urnedt
olookathi
m.
What?
Me:
huh?
Hi
m:y
ouhear
dme
Me:
uhhhm
Hi
m:Askmeagai
n
Me:
andwhati
fyousayno?
Hi
m:t
ryme
Iswall
owedhardandthensatuprightf
aci
ng
him wi
thmylegscrossedi
nfrontofme
Me:
Mar
ryme
Hi
m:y
ouaski
ngmeordemandi
ng
Il
ookedathi
m andsul
ked
Me:
youknowwhat
?Nev
ermi
nd
Him:youaret
hel
eastr
omant
icper
sonIknow
Butt
ercup.
Me:
fine.
Hi
m:don’
ttel
lmey
ousul
ki
ngnow
Me:
youdon’
twantt
omar
ryme
Hi
m:Idi
dn’
tsayt
hat
Me:
soy
ou’
l
lmar
ryme?
Hi
m:ofcauseI
’
llmar
ryy
ou.Gi
vemeaki
ss
Ipoutedandhepl
ant
edaki
ssonmyl
i
ps
makingmegiggl
e
Hi
m:Iwantar
eal
kiss
Me:
youdon’
tdeser
vei
t!
Hi
m:butIsai
dyes
Me:yout
heonet hatshoul
dhav
easkedmeand
nott
heotherwayround
Hi
m: howmanyt
imesdi
dIasky
out
omar
ryme
f
ir
st?
Me:
don’
tbepet
ty
Hi
m: NO!Iaskedyoumoret
han5t i
mest o
marr
ymeandnotoncedi dyousayyes.Soit
wasyourtur
nt oaskme
Me:
what
ever
Hepull
edmyhandst ohim makingmef al
land
thenhecuppedmyf aceandki ssedme.Iwon’t
l
ieIcoul
dn’tr
esi
sthim, Ifellf
orhiski
ssandwe
endedupdoingotherthingsont hecouch.We
werecover
edupwi thaf leecewhenwehear da
carpul
lup,Il
ookathim
Hi
m:di
dyoul
ockt
hedoor
?
Ijumpedoffhi
m andranupst
air
sleav
inghi
m
theretocl
eanupthemess.Iworeagownand
whenIgotdownstai
rshewasdressedupand
talki
ngtohi
sdaughter
Her
:youj
ustwokeup?
Me:
noIj
ustf
ini
shedshower
ing
Il
ookedatMisoandfoundmy
sel
flaughi
ngat
hi
m,heroll
edhisey
es
Her
:thi
sisf
ory
ou
Me:
uhhm t
hanky
ou.Sohowwast
hepar
ty?
Her
:itwast
oomuch.Aft
ert
heSpurwewentto
t
heparkandshehadcl
ownsandst
uff
.Itwas
t
oomuch
Thewaymydaught erwasdr amatici
swas
adorabl
e.Mi soandIjustl
aughedatherandher
faci
alexpressi
ons.Shemaybedr amati
cbut
sheisnotintooverthetopthingsandthat
’s
whatIlovedabouther ,
shewasadownt oeart
h
chil
d.Iopenedthepaperbagshehadgav eme
andt
her
ewasaboxi
nsi
deofi
t.
Me:
what
’st
his?
Isai
dtaki
ngt
heboxout
Them:
openi
t
Il
ookedatthem scept
icalwhi
leopeningthe
boxandtherewasar i
nginsi
deofit.abigrock.
Il
ookedatbothofthem
Her:
dadhadmekeepitsothati
fyousayy
esI
cangiv
eitt
oyou…It
akeity
ousaidyes
Ismi l
edandnoddedandsodi dshe.Shepull
ed
met oherandgav emeat i
ghtsqueezeandI
kissedherfor
ehead, shewassoexcited…more
thanmeev en.Mi sosli
ppedtheringonmy
fi
ngerandheki ssedmeandt henhuggedme
withourli
tt
leonebet weenus.Webr okethehug
Her
:fi
nal
l
y!
Me:
What
?
Her
:fi
nal
l
y,y
ouanddadgett
obel
i
kenor
mal
peopl
e.Mar
ri
ed
Il
aughedandsodi
dherdad
Hi
m:sowewer
en’
tnor
mal
when?
Her
:ofcausenot
.Youguy
sli
vedt
oget
her
Me:
andl
i
vingt
oget
heri
swr
ong?
Sheshr
ugged
Hi
m:exact
ly.
Her:sowheni
stheweddi
ng?CanIbea
br
idesmai
d?
Il
aughed.Thi
sper
sonwasonl
ytur
ning8.
Br
idesmaid?
Me:
aren’
tyoual
i
ttl
eyoungf
ort
hat
?
Hi
m:y
oucanbet
hef
lowergi
rl
Her:I
’
mt oool
dtobeafl
owergirl
dadandI
guessI’
mtooyoungt
obeabridesmai
d
Me:
younott
oool
dtobeaf
lowergi
rl
!
Her
:fi
ne….
Me:youwer
est
il
ltel
l
ingmeaboutt
hebi
rt
hday
par
ty
Her
:theyboughtherapuppy
Hi
m:don’
tyouwantapuppy
?
Her
: pet
sareli
kehavi
ngbabies.Theyneedto
betakencareofandcl
eanedafterandIdon’
t
hav
et heti
me
Il
ookedatherdadandheshruggedlaughi
ng.
Wheredi
dIgetthi
schil
d?Ilaughedatherso
har
d.Shewassoentert
aini
ng.
Hi
m:whot
oldy
oual
loft
his?
Her:afr
iendofminef
rom school
.Shehasa
puppyandshehastodoev er
ythi
ngfori
t.I
wouldn’
tbeablet
oshame
Me:okMissSassypant
s.Goshowerandcl
ean
upy
ourface
Her
:fi
rstl
et’
stakepi
ctur
esandthenI
’
llgo.You
hav
ear i
ngtoshowoffremember?
Ij
ustlaughed.Ididn’tevenknowwhatt osayt o
heranymor e.Ikneeleddowntobeonherl ev
el
andstartedposingfortheselfi
es,shemademe
showmyr i
ng.Saidshewant edtosendt he
pict
urestohergr andparent
s.Afteral
lthe
pict
uretakingshewentt oshower .
Hi
m:sheget
sitf
rom y
ou
Me:
NO!sheget
sitf
rom hercousi
ns
Hi
m:r
ight
.what
evermakesy
ousl
eepatni
ght
Me:
sodi
dsheseey
ou?
Him:Idi
dn’
tnotknowyouwer
esomean!How
dareyoul
eavemeliket
hat
Me:l
ooksl
i
key
ougotdr
essedpr
ett
yqui
ckt
o
me
Hi
m:Ihadnochoi
ce
Me:
whatdi
dyoudowi
thmydr
ess?
Hi
m:keepaski
ng!
Me:
babecomeon
Hi
m:I
’
m st
il
lmadaty
ou
Me:
I’
ll
makei
tupt
oyou
Isai
dwi
thawi
nkandhedi
dn’
tpaynoat
tent
ion
tome
Me:
comeon
Hi
m:nope.Letmegoshower
Me:
justl
i
ket
hat
?
Hedi dn’
trespondi nsteadhewalkedout .God
myf utur
ehusbandcanbedr amatic.Isee
wher ehi
sdaught ergetsthedramaf r
om.I
decidedtoor derpizzacauseIwasl azytocook
andI ’
m sureMi ssywasf ullf
rom t
hepar ty.I
wentt otakeashowerandMi sowasst il
li
nside.
Pizzatakesabout30t o40mi ntogett oour
housesomi ghtaswel lmakeuseoft heti
me.I
huggedhi mf rom behind
Hi
m:It
houghty
ouwer
ecooki
ng
Me:
IguessI
’
m not
Isai
dwi
thmyhandsonhi
smanhood.
Hi
m:andt
hen?
Me:
youwantmet
ost
op?
Heshookhi sheadsoqui ckIlaughedathim.I
wentinfrontofhi
m andwentonmykneesand
di
dmyt hi
nguntilher el
easedandt henafterwe
dri
edourbodiesandt henwentdownst air
sall
dressedupinloosef itt
edclothes.Iwas
wearingaloosedr essandhewaswear i
ng
sweatpantsandat -
shirtwi
thhissleeper
s.We
watchedtvwaiti
ngont hepizza.
.
.
ToBeCont
inued
[
05/
10,16:
00]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#52
.
.
"
Yol
anday
our
eady
"
Iturnedar oundandi twasmybr otherst anding
bythedoorl ooki natmet hrought hemi r
ror.
..
WasIr eady ?I sthatev enaquest i
ont hou?I '
m
aboutt ospendt herestofmyl i
f ewi thmybest
fri
endcar ryinghi ssecondbor n...OfcauseI 'm
ready .Ismi ledt hroughmyt earyey es.WhenI
was5Ial way simagi nedmy selfmar ry ingmy
bestf riendbei ngwal keddownt heai slebymy
daddyandwhent her apest art
edal lmydr eams
wereshat ter edint opiecesbecauseIdi dn't
beli
ev et hatsomeonel ikemecoul dev erhav ea
l
ifeliket heoneIhav e.TosayI '
m happyi san
under st atement ,Iam exci ted,scar ed, ecstatic,
i
mpat ientev en.Thel ifeInev erimagi nedmy sel
f
havinghasal way sbeen, Ididn'timagi nebei nga
rapesur v i
v orbuther eIam t odayst r
ongert han
anyoneIknow.Idi dn'timagi nebei ngt he
amazi ngmot herItomydaught erbutt odayI
am andshei smor epr oudt ohav emeasa
mot herandIam ev enmor epr oudtohav eher
asadaught er
.Ididn'
tthi
nkI '
dspendani ghtin
pri
sonl etal
one6mont hsbutIdi dallformy
si
sterandher eIam todayt hiswomant hatIam
withasenseofpi eceknowi ngt hatevery
sacrif
iceImadedi dn'tgounaccount edfor.Iam
soont omar rymybestf r
iend . .
.WhatcanI
say?Thel if
eInev eri
magi nedf ormyselfis
everythi
ngt heyoungerversionofmehasev er
wishedf orandmor e.Iwipedmyt earscareful
nottosmudgemymakeup.
Hi
m:y
ouok?
It
urnedar
oundandnodded.
Me:
I'
m gr
eat
Hi
m:y
oul
ookbeaut
if
ul
Ismi
l
edasheki
ssedmyf
orehead.
Hi
m: notear
sorel
set
hosewomenoutt
her
e
wi
llki
ll
me
Ichuckl
ed
Me:
nomor
etear
s.Thanky
ou
Hi
m:f
or?
Me:beingt
heassholeyouonceweretomeonly
tobecomethebesttwi
nagirlcoul
daskforand
anamazingexampleofwhattolookf
ori
na
husband
Him: i
tdoesn'tgetanybet terthanMisoLala.
Youhi tt
hejackpott here.Thatguylovesyou
withoutanycondi t
ionsandhewoul dgot othe
endsoft heear t
hfory ou.Youhav eadaught er
thatadoresyoumor et hananythi
nginthis
wor l
dandaf ami l
yt hatwoulddoany thi
ngto
seey ouhappy .Idon'tknowwhatbl essi
ngsl ook
l
ikebutthisri
ghther eareblessi
ngs
Me:
youmaki
ngmecr
y
Hetookahandkerchi
efandpattedmyt eary
eyesandthenheheldouthisarm andIhooked
myar mtohisandwewal kedout.I
twasf i
nall
y
happeni
ng.Ever
ythi
ngI'
veonlyeverdreamedof
washappening.Theminutewegott otheend
oftheai sle,Mi
so'sey eswereonmegl ist
eni
ng
withjoy.Hehadt hatsmi l
eofhiswitht
eary
eyes,Ifoundmy selfblushi
ng.Myhusbandwas
cryi
ngatt hesi
ghtofme.Wewal kedonthe
rosesunt ilwereachedhi m andYondahanded
meov ertohim.Hewentt otakehi
sseatandso
didevery one
Hi
m:y
oul
ookbeaut
if
ulBut
ter
cup
Me:
youcl
eanuppr
ett
ywel
lyour
sel
f
Weturnedt
olookatthepast
or.Hesai
dafew
i
mportantt
hingsandtheni
twastimetosay
ourv
ows.Misowentfir
st
Him: Icoul
dwrit
eabookaboutthel ov
eIhav e
foryoubutthenI'
drunoutofpaperandi nk
becausemyl ovefory
ouwouldn'
tfitonany
amountofpages.Yolandafr
om themi nuteI
mety ouIknewthatyouwouldmakemyl if
e
dif
fi
cult
Igav
ehim alookandhechuckl
ed.Howdar
ehe
sayt
hati
nfrontofever
yone?
Him: ifyouguy scoul dseet hewayshesl ooking
atmer ightnow.AsIwassay i
ng.Iknewt hatI
want edi ttobey ouwhomakesmyl if
edi fficult
whilemaki ngi tbetterthanitwasbef orey ou
camei ntoit.Iremembert hefi
rsttimey out ol
d
mey oul oveme, howy ouquicklycov eredy our
facewi thy ourhandsbecausey ouy oursel f
couldn'tbel i
ev ewhaty ouhadj usttoldme.I
knewt henandt heret hatyouwer et heper fect
one.Youhav egi venmet hegreatestgi ftany
mancoul dev eraskf orandI '
m mor et han
grateful foryouandhowy ou'
vebeenan
amazi ngmot hert omeandourdaught er.I
knowwecanbet hemostdi f
fi
cultpeopl et oli
ve
withbutnotoncehav eyoucompl ai
nedbut
i
nsteady oul ov eusmor ethanany thingi nt his
worldandy oumakeust hebestwecanbe.I
l
ov ey ouMr sMe.Mybut tercup
Hewi pedmytears.Il
ookedatthepaperIwas
hol
dingthatIhadwr i
tt
enmyv owsonand
handedittomysisterIn-
law
Me: Bubbles.Godwher edoesoneev enstart
?I
hadwr i
ttenmyv owsdownonpaperbutaf t
er
thatIfi
guredI'l
lspeakfrom t
heheartinst
ead.
Youcamei ntomyl i
feandturnedi
tupside
downandi nsi
deout..
.
Helookedatmeandchuckl
edandpeopl
e
l
aughed
Me: youmademeamot herbef oretimeand
herei am car r
yingy oursecondbor n..
.Ihope
youseemypoi ntbutdespi teitall
Iwoul ddoi t
alloveragainbecausemot heringyourchildren
hasgott obet hebestj obev erbecausey ou
don'tletmedoi talone.Kendr aisluckytohav e
youasaf atherbutme, I'm blessedtohav ey ou
i
nmyl ifeandt obemar ryingy oubecause
there'
snomanI 'dratherbebondedt oforlif
e
eit
hert hany ou.Ican'twai ttokeepar guingwi t
h
youaboutwhatt owearatwor kandwhet herto
hav echickenpi eorbeefpi ewhenwecook.
Whi chbot t
leofwi net obuyornot .Isuckat
expressingmy selfbuty oujustmademedoi tin
publi
cbecauseonlyyouarecapabl eofdoing
thatme.Thankyouforbeingt her
ef ormeatall
ti
mesandf orbei
nganamazi ngfathertoour
daughterandanevenamazi ngpartnertome.I
l
ov eyousomuchMi sokuhleBess
Hewassmi l
ingfrom eartoear.Weexchanged
ri
ngsandt henwer epronouncedhusbandand
wifeandt henweshar edakiss.Webr okeit
afterawhi l
eandj ustlookedintoeachothers
eyesbef oreturni
ngtot hecroud.IwasaMr s
Misokuhl eBess.Iwashappyoratl eastwasfor
thatlit
tl
ewhi l
e.Itwast herecepti
onandwehad
j
ustt akenourseat swhenYondacamet o
whi speri
nmyear .
Me:
whati
sit
?
Him:ther
eisamanout
sideandhewant
sto
speaktoyou
Me:
about
?
Hi
m:i
tsaboutI
vy'
sdeat
h
.
.
ToBeCont
inued
//i
fit
sshortI
'mreal
lysor
ryasIwast y
ping
usi
ngt hemessagesappthingy.
..ButmyLaptop
chargeri
sonitswayandy eah.AgainI
m sorr
y
[
05/
10,16:
00]Ron:
***
THELI
FEINEVER
I
MAGINED***
#53–Fi
nal
e
.
.
Theonedayi ’
m supposedt obethehappiest,
zerodestructi
ons, nonot hing.j
ustahappyday
formeandmyf ami ly.Icouldn’
thandl
eanybad
newsont hatday.It urnedtomyhusbandwho
washol di
ngmyhandt hiswholetime,fr
om the
mi nutewewal kedi nt othepeoplemaking
speechesandatt hatmomenthi sbrother,I
didn’twantAyamaki nganyspeechesonmy
weddingday…y epshest i
l
ldidn’
tli
kemef or
reasonsknownt oher.Thi
sonet i
meaf terthe
wholeTri
stonthingshewasmor ethanhappy
togivemeapieceofhermi ndandshesai da
l
otofBSandhowIwi llneverbepartofher
family
…sono,Idon’tneedherasssay ingshiit
aboutmeonmyweddi ngday.
Hi
m:Ev
ery
thi
ngok?
Me:
It’
saboutI
vy’
sson
Hi
m:uhhm ok…l
etsgo
Me:
nost
ay,
I’
ll
bebackok.
Hi
m:y
ousur
e?
Me:
yeahI
’
m sur
e.I
’
llbebackr
ightnow
Ikissedhi scheekandheletgoofmyhandand
thenIgotupwi thYonda.WhenIgotoutside,I
wasmetbyCl i
ck-Aya’
sex -
husband.They
endedt hingswhenheshef oundoutabouthis
i
nv olv
ementwi t
hthe$prit
z.Iwasshockedt o
seehi m herewithsomemodel l
ooki
ngwoman.
Me:
MrNol
and
Hi
m:please,cal
lmeRodney
.Thi
sisuhhm a
f
ri
endofmi neLail
a
Her
:Hi
Me:I
’m Yol
anda.Uhhm mybr
othersai
dthi
s
wasaboutmysister
’schi
l
d?
Heopenedthedoorandtherewasababyina
carsi
tt
eri
nthebackseatofthecar
.Hewas
sl
eepi
ngandhelookedaf ewmonthsold.God
hewassoadorabl
e.Ilookedupathim
Hi
m:meety
ournephew
Il
ookedathi
m st
il
lst
unned.Whatwasgoi
ngon?
“What
’sgoi
ngonher
e?Rodneywhatar
eyou
doi
nghere?
”
It
urnedandAyawasst
andi
ngr
ightbehi
ndus.
Thi
swomani sdr
amati
cAF.
Her
:Andwhoi
sthi
s?
Lai
l
a:Hi
,I
’m Lai
l
a
Shesaidpulli
ngherhandouttoAyaandAy a
j
ustlookedatitwithherarmscr
ossedlooki
ng
atherex-husband.It
hinkshewasj
ealous
Lai
l
a:ok…
Cl
i
ck:
Ayahi
.Howar
eyou?
Her
:don’
t.Don’
tgi
vemet
hat
Me:Thanky
ouRodney
.Thanky
ousomuch.Ar
e
yousur
e?
Him:Yes.Uhhm i
sthereanywher
epri
vate
wherewecantalk?Iknowit’
syourweddi
ngday
andall
,I
fI’
dknownIwoul dn’
thavebr
oughthi
m
today
Me:
uhhm pl
easecomet
hisway
.
Iwalkedinsi
dethehousewi t
hev eryonepret
ty
muchf oll
owingme,includingAy a.Thewedding
washeldatMi so’
sgreatgr andfather’
shouse
theori
ginalDavi
dBess.Ther ecepti
onwashel d
i
nat entinthebackyard.Lail
aputt hebabyon
topofthetable,
Icouldn’tkeepmyey esoffof
hi
m.hewasjusttoobeaut
if
ul.Howcoul
d
somethi
ngsobeauti
ful
comeoutofsuchcr
azy
peopl
e?
Me:
He’
sper
fect
Lai
l
agav
easmi
l
e
Aya:
whatt
hehel
li
sgoi
ngonher
e?Whosebaby
i
sthi
s?
Me:
thi
sismynephew.
Lai
l
a:hisnameisJust
ice…t
hat
’swhathi
s
mothernamedhim
Me:
youknowmysi
ster
?
Click:Yoursisterwasinvolvedwitha
danger ousmanandshedi daterri
blet hi
ng.
Lailawasposi ngasanur sei ntheprisony our
sisterwasi n.Shewalkedi nonthenur sewho
ki
lledy oursist
erbutshewast oolatet osave
yoursistersoshesav edt hebabyinst ead.
We’ vebeenr aisi
ngthechildsomewher esafe.I
didn’ttel
lyousoonerbecauseIknewt hatthe
$pri
tzwerel ookingfort hebabyasmuchasy ou
wereandhadt heyfoundt hebabythenthey
wouldhav ekill
edhim.NowIknowy oumadat
mef orkeepingthisfr om youbutitwast heonly
wayt okeept hechildsaf eandoutofhar m’s
way.Ineededt ogetr i
ghtwiththe$prit
zand
convincethem thatthebabywaski ll
edsot hat
theycouldstopl ooking
Me:
Soi
sthebabysaf
enow?
Lai
l
a:t
hel
i
ttl
eonei
ssaf
e.Nobodyi
slooki
ngf
or
me
Me:
arey
ousur
eLai
l
a?
Her
:yes,
I’
m sur
e.
“
isev
ery
thi
ngok?
”
It
urnedar
oundandi
twasmom speaki
ng
Her
:Yol
anda?
Me:
Mom comeandseeI
vy’
sson
Mom:
he’
sal
i
ve?
Isawasmil
ecurveonherlipswi
thsomeshock.
Inoddedwi
tht
earyeyes.Shewal
kedclosert
o
usandshel
ookedatthebaby
Her
:he’
sper
fect
.ButHow?
Me:mom i
t’
salongst
ory
.Uhhm t
hisi
sRodney
andt
hisi
sLail
a
Theygr
eet
edeachot
her
Mom:
Lal
ayouar
eneededout
side
Ihadev enf orgotteni twasmyweddi ng.I
noddedandaskedt hem t ost ayunti
l t
he
weddi ngwasov er.West ill
neededt ot alksome
mor e,Ineededsomeanswer swhi chIcoul d
onlygetaf terther eception.Iwal kedbacki n
andIcoul dn’tbehappi er.Isatnextt omy
husbandandt heywer esingi ngt r
aditi
onal
songsandi twasj ustamaz ing.MyRecept ion
wasat radit
ionalXhosaweddi ngceremonyor
what everit’
scal l
edwi t
ht hegi vi
ngofbl anket
s
andst ufflateronaf terthespeeches.Ther e
werepeopl edancingt r
aditional danceswear ing
yourbeautif
ulXhosaatti
resandlooki
ngall
ki
ndsofbeaut i
ful
.Iwasi natradi
ti
onalXhosa
dresslooki
ngallkindsofbeauti
fulwi
thadoek
onmyhead…Thankst oYayaformakingme
l
ookt hisbeaut
if
ul.helookedatme
Hi
m:ev
ery
thi
nggood?
Inoddedl
i
keal
i
ttl
echi
l
d
Me:
he’
sal
i
veandhe’
sher
e
Hi
m:r
eal
l
y?
Inoddedagai
n
Me:
he’
sbeaut
if
ul.
Hi
m:Icani
magi
ne
Me:
you’
l
lmeethi
m af
ter
Hi
m:wher
eishenow?
Me: wi
thmymom andCl
i
ckandLai
l
aandy
our
si
ster
Hi
m:Cl
i
cki
sback?
Me:he’
shadhi
mthi
swhol
eti
met
oget
herwi
th
Lai
l
a
Hi
m:Lai
l
a?
Me:somewomanhewaswi
th.Idon’
tknow
whatshei
stohi
m
Hi
m:Ay
acan’
tbehappywi
thLai
l
a
Me:don’
tknowanddon’
tcar
e.Let
’sgetbackt
o
ourday
Hesmi l
edandki ssedmycheek.Iwat chedas
theyfinishedtheirrouti
neandt hent
heywentt o
takethei rseatsleavi
ngusclappingourhands
forthem.Af t
erthattheywelcomedmymot her
andf atherinlaw.Theyst i
l
llookedbeautif
ul
eveni ntheir50’s,Yayawasst i
l
l i
ngoodshape
andsowasherman.
Yay
a:y
ouguy
slookbeaut
if
ul.Per
fectev
en
Imout
hed“
thanky
ou”andYay
anoddedwi
tha
smi
le
Her
:fi
nal
l
y!Af
teral
lthi
sti
mey
ouf
inal
l
ysai
d
y
es,
thanky
ouf
ort
hat
.
Wealll
aughed.Godshewasput
ti
ngmeont
he
spot
Her: hideallyouwantbutyouknowi t
’str
ue.
Any waywenother etotal
kaboutthat.Miss
Graham I ’
m apr oudmotherri
ghtnowbecause
ofyou.Ir aisedhim upbutyougroomedmef or
hi
m.Ther ewasat i
mewhenMi sowantedto
quitv arsi
ty
Hegav
ehi
smom al
ook
Her:younev ertoldmenott oment ionitbaby.
AsIwassay ing,allofustriedtoconv i
ncehim
thathewasmaki ngami stake.Ievenwentas
farastel
linghimt hatIwoul dst
oppay ingfor
hisfeesifhequi thiscourset odosomet hi
ng
elseaft
erallthemoneywespent
Mi
solookeddownl
aughing.Iknowmyhusband
mustbefeel
i
ngsometypeofway
Her
:Hadi
tnotbeenf
ort
hatbeaut
if
ulwoman
sitti
ngnexttohi mthenhewoul dn’tbet heman
hei sri
ghtnow.Yol andat hanky ousomuchf or
ev er
ythingyouhav edonef ormyson, thanky ou
formaki nghimt hemanhei sandtheamazi ng
fatherthatheistomygr anddaught er.Baby
treatthatwomanr i
ght.Youmadeagr eat
choice,neverlethergo.Yol andaifhe’sgiving
youanyt r
oubleatallyouknowmynumberand
youknowwher etofi
ndme…I ’
m nev ertooold
towhoopt hatass.
Weal
ll
aughed
Her:
Wewi l
l t
alkaboutther
estwhenwe
t
ogether
,Idon’twanttoembarr
assyout
woi
n
f
rontofal
lthesepeopleher
e
Il
aughed.GodIl
ovemymot
heri
nlaw.
Her:Il
oveyoubothandmaythegoodLor
d
conti
nuebl
essingyouandshower
ingy
ouwit
h
nothi
ngbutlov
e.
Ibl
ewheraki
ss.Godwher
edidIgetsuchan
amazi
ngwoman?Shehandedthemictoher
husband
Him: Ithinkmywi fehassai dital l.Miso, you
nevert oool dtogetanasswhoopi ng.Don’ t
maket hatwomancr y,EVER!Thet earsofa
womandon’ tfall ondeafear s,especi al l
yaGod
feari
ngwoman.HerGodi salway sli
steni ngand
helov eshersomucht hatevery thingy ouhav e
workedsohar dt obui l
dy ouwoul dwat chi tall
comecr umbl ingdowni nt
onot hi ngness.Iwoul d
know.Yol andat reatthatmanr ight ;Ihav eseen
howmuchhel ovesy ou.Lov eliket hatIhav e
onlyev erwi t
nessedi twi t
hmyl at efatherand
mom andy ouar efortunateenoughbecause
youmett hem bot handy ouwi tnessedt hel ove
theyshar edsoy ouknowwhatr eal l
ovei sand
whati tshoul dbel i
ke.Wel comet oourf ami ly
babyandIt r
usty ouwi thmysonandIt rusthim
withy ou.Uhhm wel ov eyoubot handt reateach
otherr i
ght ,
beanexampl etoy ourdaught erand
thebabyy ouar ecarryingr i
ghtnow.Yourki ds
areluckyt ohav esuchpar entslikey ou.Keep
t
hatupok.Il
ovey
oubot
h
Icouldn’thel
pbutshedal itt
let
ear .Godthese
peoplewer ethebest?Ev erbeenlov edsomuch
youev enfearthatsomet hingwillcomeand
stealthi
sloveawayf rom y ou?Thatwasme.My
sist
er’schil
disali
ve.Mydaught erisamazing,
andIhav eababyonboar dplusIam mar ri
edto
mybest fri
end.Couldlif
egetanybet ter
?
-
THEEND
.
.
Youradmi nlovesy ouandIwi ll
seeyouwhenI
seeyou.Iwillstartposti
ngmyv er
yfir
ststory
(Amahle’sDiary…Wher et heBessesallst
arted)
.
AnywayBut t
ercup’ sj
ourneyhascomet oanend,
Iknowsomeofy ouar esadandev enhateme
(okmay benotbecauseHELLO? ?What’snotto
l
ov eaboutme?- jokes-),
any waywhenIcome
backIwi l
lbepromot ingabookandIknowv ery
wellt
hatIcancountony ouguy st
osuppor tme
withitasyouhav esupport
edmet hroughmy
stori
eshere.Bestoflucktoallofyouwi ththi
s
year’
schallengesandIhopeandpr aythatGod
grantsyouallyourheart
swishesanddesi r
es.
Youradmi nlovesyou.Iam Sandisi
weGxaba–
uMaf aku.