UNDER

UNDER
 MEMBERS OF MCLEAN’S LGBTQ+ COMMUNITY
CONTINUE TO THRIVE DESPITE ADVERSITY
Isabella DiPatri Managing editor dania reza assistant Design Editor-in-chief
Natalie vu news editor philip rotondo Managing editor

F rom a young age, queer people—an umbrella term for those

who are not cisgender (within the male-female binary) or
heterosexual—can face confusion about their identities and
how they fit into a hetero- and cis-normative society. Sometimes,
they are not able to be open with their parents, friends and other
said. “Having a group of queer people and being acknowledged
officially by the school [is important]. It can be iffy even in a lot of
places in Virginia.”
Many members of Virginia’s queer community felt they were under
direct attack when the Virginia Department of Education (VDOE)
loved ones out of fear of rejection and discrimination, leaving introduced new model policies regarding transgender students. The
them to navigate their identity alone. Self-discovery in queer policies, which were proposed on Sept. 16, contain guidelines that
youth is immensely individual. The acquisition prevent students from using their preferred
of educational resources and, perhaps more name and pronouns without parental consent.
importantly, finding community is a process that In addition, the guidance obligates teachers
all members of the community experience WHEN THOSE TRANS to “out” queer students to their parents, or
uniquely. tell them about their children’s identities even
There is a close-knit queer community at
MODEL POLICIES CAME though they may not be supportive.
McLean, made up of students from diverse OUT, IT LIT A FIRE McLean’s queer community united against
backgrounds. These students face daily the proposed policies, organizing a walkout
challenges to their identities. UNDER EVERYONE TO to protest them on Sept. 27. The protest
“We lack things like gender neutral and queer UNITE TOGETHER.” included the GSA and representatives
inclusive [Family Life Education], promotion from the Pride Liberation Project (PLP), a
of safe queer sex and education that not - SETH LEBLANC student-led organization that advocates for
everyone is cisgender, not everyone experiences GSA SPONSOR LGBTQ+ students in Fairfax County and
romantic and sexual attraction,” said senior Casey throughout Virginia.
Calabia, the president of McLean’s Gender and “We have a lot of students who really are
Sexuality Alliance (GSA). “[We essentially] have no basis for these dedicated, and I think their drive for doing more and more in GSA
things, and what basis there is is really surface-level and not well and trying to spread a message of acceptance is related to the political
executed.” situation right now,” GSA sponsor Seth LeBlanc said. “When those
The central institution of McLean’s queer community is the GSA, trans model policies came out, it lit a fire under everyone to unite
a student-run organization in which LGBTQ+ students socialize and together, so it’s been nice to see everyone come together over it and
participate in civic engagement. take charge.”
“[The GSA’s work includes] what we’ve done to educate people on
queer issues. There’s also the equally important social aspect,” Calabia

How would the Vdoe’s transgender “I want every student at mclean to feel like they belong as they
student model policies impact you? are, and I don’t want any government or otherwise telling any
student what they can be called or who they can be.”

“I could be outed, my safety at home would become

questionable, and I’d feel less comfortable at school.”
“It’s basically a free pass for bullying trans youth in
schools. Plus, [these policies] could open the door to
more LGBTQIA+ oppression in the future.”
“It makes me worried for my queer friends and the
power certain people have over so many of us.”
“Teachers won’t be allowed to use my
correct pronouns in class, even if they wanted to.”

“If our school bans the use of the name i choose and the pronouns of my
QUOTES obtained from
choice, I would feel just as neglected at school as I am at home.” ANONYMOUS survey

Illustration by Liz Nedelescu | Page design by Makda Bekele NOVEMBER 2022 | IN-DEPTH | 17
 CASEY CALABIA
CALABIA’S CLIMB: FROM SELF-DISCOVERY TO ACTIVISM
O ne of the leaders who spoke at
McLean’s walkout against the VDOE
model policies was senior Casey Calabia,
the president of the GSA, who identifies as
non-binary and uses they/them pronouns.
Throughout childhood they felt that
traditional gender labels did not fit them.
This feeling became stronger as they
approached adolescence.
“Around middle school was when I
first thought, ‘Something’s not right,’”
Calabia said. “I got upset anytime someone
misgendered me or put me into a category
that felt wrong for me. It was around that
time that I also first realized that I had a
crush on my best friend.”
The process of defining their gender
identity was a gradual one. Growing up in a
world where people are often undereducated
about gender non-traditionalism, Calabia
found it difficult to articulate their feelings.
“I didn’t really have the exposure to
understand what it meant to be genderqueer
or to not be cisgender,” Calabia said. “I
didn’t even really know what the concept
of gender meant in our society.”
Feeling isolated and facing extremely
weighty questions about society and gender
identity, Calabia turned to the internet for
answers.
“Eventually, like anyone in our day
and age would, I went to Google and
[searched things] like ‘what am I’ and
‘what is happening to me,’” Calabia said.
“I discovered, for the first time, what the
LGBTQ+ community was.”
At first, Calabia did not feel convinced
they fit into the LGBTQ+ community,
having spent years developing identity
within a society that primarily sees gender
as binary.
“My immediate thought was, ‘Oh, that’s
cool, but that’s not me,’” Calabia said. “I
was sort of in denial… I felt this pressure
to fit the image of what everyone else had
laid out for me. I was a part of a club called
Girl Up, and all these things that were very
entwined with me being an amazing girl.”
Calabia spent much of their formative
years living in Saudi Arabia, where same-
sex relationships are illegal and LGBTQ+
rights are extremely limited compared to
18 | IN-DEPTH | NOVEMBER 2022
the U.S. People had to be discreet to find
community within an anti-queer climate.
“We would find each other in strange
Although Calabia felt stress working out
their home situation, they found comfort
and support at school.
ways, like subtle references to queer media “[The difficult] process from my family
or joking about [finding a] person of the side has been supported by a pretty vibrant
same gender hot and seeing if they agreed,” queer community at McLean and in the
Calabia said. “Eventually there was a small greater Fairfax County area,” Calabia
circle, but we weren’t well connected. We said. “Having teachers who are publicly
didn’t talk about our queerness because out, having an entire club dedicated to
some of us could face legal repercussions. queerness, having the new LGBTQ+
There were serious dangers that were placed Perspectives in Literature class and having
on people from home, the government and queerness recognized in school gave me the
even from school.” confidence to be queer in other spaces.”
Calabia became more involved in the
GSA as they noticed areas for improvement
in the club’s operations.
HAVING QUEERNESS “When I first joined GSA, I was quiet
and in the corner, and I [only] talked to
RECOGNIZED IN SCHOOL two people,” Calabia said. “Seeing the work
GAVE ME THE CONFIDENCE that we did and speaking up about issues
eventually grew into me taking on a more
TO BE QUEER IN OTHER active role.”
SPACES.” Through the same process,
- CASEY CALABIA Calabia rose to prominence in
the PLP,
SENIOR spur red
on by the
In the U.S., Calabia was finally able to VDOE
find a supportive community as their own model
understanding of their identity developed. policy’s release, and
“When I came to McLean I knew that played an important
I wanted to identify publicly as non-binary, role in organizing
so on my first day in all my classes I said I the subsequent Sept.
went by Casey…[which is] nothing like my 27 walkout against
legal name,” Calabia said. “That was the the policies. In addition
first step. Slowly it became me mentioning to making a difference
[that] I’m trans and I’m queer.” in the public sphere,
Coming out at home was a more their activism has
complicated process. At first, Calabia did been closely tied
not tell their parents they were non-binary. with their journey to
Their parents soon realized they were becoming more open
missing something when they heard a coach about their identity.
refer to their child as Casey, and Calabia “The work I’ve
decided to come out to them. done with [GSA and
“[It took] a lot of working with [my PLP] came from
parents] to sort of understand why I didn’t an ambition to be
always feel the most comfortable with able to express my
them, how they could learn more about queerness in a way
queer things and how I could do better that I haven’t been
talking to them to develop our relationship able to in
without me having to feel pressure to live as the past,”
someone I’m not,” Calabia said. Calabia said.
Photo by Philip Rotondo
 MX. LE
TATIANA LE CREATES CULTURE OF COMFORT FOR QUEER STUDENTS
H anging plants, inspiring quotes and pride flags adorn Learning unique to a certain population of people,” Le said. “I thought it was
Disabilities and English teacher Tatiana Le’s classroom. Le, important to give myself that self-validation and give myself that
who goes by they/them pronouns, is the first openly genderqueer time.”
teacher in McLean High School’s history. While the VDOE proposal concerning pronoun usage and the
While Le takes a laid back approach in regards to how they privacy of queer students remains in review, Le’s teaching style is
identify, the development of what pronouns feel “right” is still an based on mindfulness and a willingness to discuss specific issues
ongoing process. facing queer individuals.
“I usually just call myself queer in terms of sexuality and gender,” “I am open about my gender identity with
Le said. “For a while, I was using bisexual and students because I want students to realize
gender fluid, which is just an umbrella term. that I’m a trusted adult,” Le said. “I wasn’t
For most people, it’s kind of a ‘change- struggling with my gender identity until
as-needed’ or whatever feels true to college. If I had been outed to my parents,
[themselves].” IF I HAD BEEN OUTED TO I would have been disowned in high
When Le first joined McLean’s MY PARENTS, I WOULD school.”
staff in the 2021-2022 school year, As a co-sponsor of the GSA
they used the title of Ms., wary of HAVE BEEN DISOWNED IN this year, Le has learned a lot from
possible conflict they would face as simply listening to the members of the
the only publicly genderqueer faculty
HIGH SCHOOL.” community.
- TATIANA LE
member. However, this school year, “[Following the proposal of the
Le has decided to use the gender- LEARNING DISABILITIES & ENGLISH TEACHER model policies], the GSA group chat
neutral title, Mx. (pronounced ‘mix’). exploded in a matter of hours,” Le said. “It
“I feel like I’ve been generally supported was incredible actually watching, and I didn’t
here at McLean,” Le said. “I was trained to have the mental bandwidth [in that moment] to think of what I could
go by Mr., Ms. or Mrs. When I did my student teaching, I went by do and be productive, but the kids were on top of it, and that was
Mx., but when I came here last year, I went by Ms. because I didn’t incredible.”
know anyone else that uses Mx. as a title at the school.” Le believes that finding a space where individuals feel respected
Following a period of experimentation with their title, Le is an important part of discovering gender identity. Le’s approach to
determined that a rigid identity did not fit them and began to pursue respecting students’ pronouns will stay the same if the policies are
a more fluid external identity. enacted, regardless of retaliation from the school and county.
“I just had a moment where I realized at some point that [my “I’m not going to out students to their parents,” Le said. “If that’s
gender and sexuality] wasn’t as clear cut to me as maybe it was for something that is going to make education or teaching not a viable
some people, and I realized that I was having an experience that is job for me anymore, that’s a price I’m willing to pay.”

Photo by Isabella DiPatri NOVEMBER 2022 | IN-DEPTH | 19

 GAVIN GRANT
GRANT GROWS TOWARDS CHANGE IN THEIR COMMUNITY
S ophomore Gavin Grant first started
discovering their identity in middle
school.
“It was around seventh or eighth grade
when I started realizing that no, I’m not a
boy,” Grant said. “It’s difficult because most
of the time, things beyond just the gender
binary aren’t represented in the media.”
Once Grant knew they did not fit into
the set gender labels, they spent years
exploring their identity.
“It’s weird at first, but there comes a
point where you stop caring about what’s
normal or not, and you can start caring
about yourself and put yourself first, and
then that’s sort of where I started coming
from,” Grant said.
Coming out at a relatively young age was
not much of a struggle for Grant, as they
received support at home.
“I was actually getting mail with my mom
and I just told her offhandedly because I
didn’t think it was a big deal. She looked at
me and she was like, ‘oh,’ so she was fine
with it,” Grant said. “My dad was a little
weird about it at first—he was asking me
all these questions about it—but he’s fine
with it now.”
While coming out, Grant received
support from their teachers and family,
but their biggest support came from their
friends.
“I have very, very good friends, and I’ve
had mostly good teachers, so it’s pretty easy
to just be supported by default,” Grant said.
In the GSA, Grant has worked their way
up to vice president, where they use their
position to advocate for themselves and
others.
“They’ve been involved since last year,
and just over the course of the year, they
just came more and got more involved,”
LeBlanc said. “They’ve done a fantastic job
and put a lot of heart and soul into it.”
Despite being able to find a comfortable
community at McLean, one struggle Grant
encounters is improper usage of their
pronouns at school.
“Not many people use them right, so it’s
usually just my friends,” Grant said. “At the
beginning of the year, I’ll tell my teachers,
‘Hey, I use they/them pronouns, please use
them for me in class,’ but they just don’t,
so maybe they just forget, but my friends
usually [use the correct pronouns], which is
really good.”
As a non-binary student, the proposed
model policies would directly impact Grant.
“Finding out about something that I
could have totally overlooked and been
oblivious to until it was in effect was
horrifying to me,” Grant said.
Grant continues to stay true to who
they are and voice their opinions. Under
the current FCPS Student Rights &
Responsibilities, students are able to change
their preferred pronouns without consent
from their parents. Grant worked with their
counselor to change their gender pronouns.
“The [student] database is going to have
to change me,” Grant said. “I talked to
[my counselor] Mrs. Otal about my gender
change, but if this gets passed we’re going
to have to undo that. This whole policy is
baffling to me.”
Grant hopes that protesting the policies
allowed students who had lost hope to feel
empowered and see how they can actively
work towards a future in which they can use
the gender they identify with.
“I think the protest really brought
people together,” Grant said. “It was
helpful in showing that we’re not going to
accept this.”
IT’S WEIRD AT FIRST,
BUT THERE COMES
A POINT WHERE YOU
STOP CARING ABOUT
WHAT’S NORMAL OR
NOT.” - GAVIN GRANT
SOPHOMORE
Photo by Dania Reza
 RANGER BALLEISEN
BALLEISEN BREAKS THROUGH BARRIERS WITH ADVOCACY
S enior Ranger Balleisen is one of several
queer people who spoke at the protest
against the transgender student model
policies. Balleisen discovered their queer
identity in middle school.
“I started talking to people who were in
the same situation as me and realized that
there were ways to exist outside of being
attracted to a certain gender, so I began to
identify myself as queer,” Balleisen said.
“There are many other specific labels I
could use, but I feel that this one represents
me the best.”
Balleisen felt that coming out as queer to
students and staff was an easy adjustment
as many were extremely understanding.
“Everybody supported my identity, and
I think that’s one of the easy parts about
coming out in a queer space specifically,”
Balleisen said. “Teachers who used my
correct pronouns definitely had a positive
impact on my mental health. Just knowing
that there are teachers and students who
support me made me feel great.”
Balleisen is an officer of the McLean
GSA. They appreciate that the GSA
provides a safe space for the LGBTQ+
community.
“Going to GSA meetings and telling
people the name and pronouns that I chose
to go by there definitely was one of the
first times that I felt truly supported in the
McLean community,” Balleisen said. “It
made me feel like I wasn’t alone and there
were people just like me.”
The VDOE model policies shocked
Balleisen. They were concerned about
the effects the guidelines would have if
implemented.
“I remember hearing about [the policies]
on that Friday, and I was terrified,” Balleisen
said. “There was a lot of fear for myself
and especially for students like me across
the state who I knew didn’t have a support
system that I do.”
Balleisen is concerned about the
If you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community in crisis, please call the Trevor Project lifeline at
1-866-488-7376 or text ‘start’ to 678-678
Photo courtesy of Ty Begley
ways these policies will affect students
throughout Virginia.
“I’m not going to be able to go by the
name and pronouns that I choose in my
school,” Balleisen said. “I’m more worried
about how it’s going to affect other people.
It’s going to have a huge toll on the mental
health of the students. It [might] kill people.
It’s the tragic truth that the students will
not have the [same] support in school
anymore.”
JUST KNOWING THAT
THERE ARE TEACHERS
AND STUDENTS WHO
SUPPORT ME MADE ME
FEEL GREAT.”
- RANGER BALLEISEN
SENIOR
Soon after the policies were proposed,
Balleisen came out to their parents as queer.
“After I heard about the policies, I ended
up beginning to talk to some press people,
and that became the reason I came out to
my parents,” Balleisen said.
Balleisen began to reach out to
organizations to advocate against the
VDOE policy and spread awareness about
the LGBTQ+ community. They also
became one of the leaders of the PLP.
“On behalf of the PLP, I worked with
the Virginia chapter of the American
Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). We’ve had
meetings with people across the state
who have been trying to talk to Governor
Youngkin to get these policies removed,”
Balleisen said.
In addition to advocating across the
state, Balleisen worked with senior Casey
Calabia to organize the Sept. 27 walkout
against the proposed model policies.
“We ended up getting about 300 to 350
McLean students to walk out,” Balleisen
said. “Casey and I both spoke at the
walkout…and it definitely made a huge
difference in the community.”
After the walkout ended, the work was
not done. Balleisen and their community
continued to protest.
“We participated in a rally at the FCPS
School Board [meeting], which involved
speeches and chants, and [we] ended up
talking to some press there as
well,” Balleisen said. “We went
inside and gave testimonies to
the school board members.”
Since the
policies were
proposed,
Balleisen
and the GSA
wanted to
provide a safe space
for all trans students at
McLean.
“We’re starting a
trans-specific portion
of GSA to bring more
trans advocacy [and]
awareness in McLean,”
Balleisen said. “These
students more than
ever need the support
from our community.”
Balleisen will continue to
advocate for the LGBTQ+
community in hopes of stopping
the implementation of the model
policies.
“We need direct action—we
can’t [just have] platitudes from
the school board,” Balleisen said.
“We have a couple weeks until
these policies go into effect...
We will do everything to end
this now.”
NOVEMBER 2022 | IN-DEPTH | 21