Programme Name: Additional Sessions (Main Programme)

Session Title: Assertiveness

Overall aim of the session:

To encourage participants to think about what assertiveness is and how they can incorporate it into
their recoveries and day to day interactions.

Expected outcomes for participants:

Participants will practice their assertiveness skills within a safe environment and reflect on how it
feels to be assertive. As well as bringing empathy into conflict situations to communicate mindfully,
assertively and compassionately with others.

Resources needed to run session:

2 staff members (one of which has to be a therapist)
Flipchart and Pens
Power point presentation
Assertiveness Worksheets

Session's duration: 1.5 hours

Therapeutic approaches to be used:

Systematic assertiveness therapy (a skills-based approach)
Cognitive-behavioural therapy

Stumbling Blocks:
 The group may not feel comfortable role playing a scenario in front of there peers. If this is
the case, facilitators should role play one of the scenarios and ask the group for their
feedback.
 Being assertive can feel very uncomfortable, particularly for those with issues around self-
esteem. If this seems to be the case, read out and discuss the assertiveness rights on the
handout.

Gordon Moody Programme: Foundation Group Session: Gambling and the brain
Session Plan

1. After discussing the aim and objectives of the session with the group, continue with the next
slides of the presentation.

2. “One of the changes women commonly struggle with is becoming more assertive. In order to
affect change, it’s important to be able to ask for what you want and need, to create space
for yourself in order to heal and foster healthy and enjoyable new habits. Assertiveness isn’t
about demanding what you want at all costs at the expense of others, it’s about being
respectful of yourself and your time and respecting the other person whilst being diplomatic
and direct.”

There are different types of conflict:

External – when we struggle with something else, an object or another person, or
Internal – when we struggle with ourselves and give examples of each.

3. Continue with slides 4, pose the following question and discuss as a group.
“What could it be like if everyone was encouraged to communicate assertively in all their
relationships?” (Would you feel scared? Would you feel safe to say what you felt? Would you
be listening to each other?)

4. Continue to read through slide 5.

5. Provide some psychoeducation about assertiveness:

On the spectrum, there is passive at one end and aggressive at the other, with assertiveness lying at
the centre point.

 Passive – is where we do not express out thoughts and feelings; we fear the reaction of the
other person and we say nothing; this means we end up in situations where we are placing
the needs of others ahead of our own; we are saying the other person is more important
than us; we can end up feeling resentful because we end up doing something we do not
really want to do; people can then continue to ask us to do more and more.
 Aggressive – often this is because we do not know how to express how we think and feel –
we may feel vulnerable and weak for doing this; we come across as angry or confrontational;
this often makes the other person feel small or react back, exacerbating the situation; we
might end up getting what we want, but we are damaging relationships in the process; being
aggressive is often about winning the argument; it is communicating our needs are more
important than the needs of others.
 Assertiveness - is something we are born with, but then is taken away from us as we start to
fit in socially; when we are told what to do and do not want to risk being judged by others;
this leads us to saying yes to conform; if we were taught to be assertive by a parent, we may
be better at this; it is a skill we can learn and develop; we may be more assertive in some
situations than others, e.g. with partner versus work; assertiveness is where we are able to
state what we think and feel; we are able to listen and empathise with the other person; we
are aware of our own needs and boundaries; our needs are as important as the other
person’s; we are able to reach compromises, where appropriate; assertiveness is expressed
in an even voice tone, is explanatory and there is good eye contact; we can assert in what we
 say and what we do; being assertive is not about needing to win – we might not get what we
want, but we have expressed how we think and feel.

6. Get the group to look at the 2nd page in their workbooks for examples of the three traits
stated above.
7. Go onto next slide; The Assertiveness slide, explain to the goup what a Martyr is –
 A martyr is someone who chooses to sacrifice their life or face pain and suffering instead of
giving up something they hold sacred and/or
 A martyr is someone who suffers persecution and death for advocating, renouncing, or
refusing to renounce or advocate, a religious belief or other cause as demanded by an
external party.

8. Proceed through slides to slide 9, explore with the group How we communicate more
effectively?
9. Ask the group to turn to the 5th page to view assertive statements.
10. Move onto I statements review slide 10 with the group continuing to the next slide and
deliver the I statement activity. Ask the group to turn to page 6 in their workbooks. Note that
two examples are given to which the group needs to complete the other three statements
accordingly. Give the group 10minutes to complete this activity.
11. Slide 12 - What Are The 3cs of Assertive Communication? Explore the 3cs of assertiveness
with the group, confidence, control and Clear.
12. Activity: How to be Assertive; HANDOUT page 7 – Assertiveness role play to provide further
guidance.

Role Play –
Please now split into pairs, now practice assertive responses using different scenarios and taking it in
turns.
An assertive response is:
• Say what happened.
• Say how you feel.
• Say what you would have liked to happen differently.

13. Facilitate a discussion with the group regarding how it felt to be assertive:
Was it harder or easier than expected?
How can learning to be assertive affect our ability to manage a situation and how we feel
about it?
Did being assertive change the outcome of the conversation?
Do the group feel being assertive will assist them in their recovery, if so, how?