Let's talk about sex

An NUS survey shows the majority of students access porn to get information about sex – and say
issues they need to know about are not covered in class.
(https://www.theguardian.com/education/2015/jan/29/students-turn-to-porn-for-sex-education)

Isn't it high time we deal with it in class then. Don't you think?

◦ Porn
When you're on the internet you might end up on a website that features porn. Being curious about
sex and human behavior is perfectly normal! But, you have to remember that porn features
misleading messages like "bigger is better." Don't forget, porn is like many movies, it's completely
made up!

Warch the video and discuss the following questions:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=118&v=GdB2rmGqqNU

1. Do you know many friends who watch porn?

2. Who watches more porn, girls or boys? Why?
3. What do you know about the porn industry?
4. Have you ever come up with porn websites by accident?
5. Which channels do you know to watch porn?
6. Have you ever heard of “ethical porn”?

◦ First-time sex
Read the text and answer the questions.

14 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Ever Had Sex

Just know that going to pee after is the most important thing ever.
by HANNAH SMOTHERS

Preparing to have sex for the first time is honestly more intimidating than preparing for your SAT.
At least you know what to expect from the SAT while sex can be scary! It can be exciting!

But rest assured, it's pretty much a nerve-wracking experience for everyone. So at least take solace
in the fact that you aren't alone. To help ease your pre-sex worries, here are 14 things I, and most all
grown women, wish they'd known before they had sex for the first time.

1. It'll probably last five minutes, tops. If this sexual encounter is going down with a dude, don't
expect too much, time-wise.

2. It's not going to be the most life-changing thing that ever happens to you. Sex can be fun and
great and is definitely better than a lot of other things in life, but the first time you have sex is likely
not going to be the best sex you have in your whole life.
3. Demand foreplay with the same fervor you demand fries instead of a salad at dinner. Set the
precedent early on: If your partner just goes for it without properly setting the stage first, correct
them. Do it.

4. No amount of planning is going to make this a perfect teen-movie experience and that's fine. I'm
sorry, I know we all wish we could be that one sex scene in the films we can't. But that's OK! Your
first-time story will be cute in its own way.

5. You will probably freak out that you're pregnant and it will probably be for no reason. Just
because you had sex with a man doesn't mean you're suddenly pregnant — so long as you're careful
and use a condom (and even a backup birth control method!). Don't freak out!

6. You might not bleed and it might not hurt. You might bleed a little if you have penetrative sex,
and it might take place over the course of few days (like a baby period). Or you might bleed a lot!
But if you're seriously bleeding (like, a lot a lot of blood) or are in pain that doesn't go away, you
should call a doctor or go to Planned Parenthood.

7. You can literally stop whenever you want. Whether that means you go at it for three hours or
three minutes, tell your partner when you're ready to call it quits. Sex isn't an "all or nothing" thing.
Do what you want, and don't do what you don't want.

8. If you even for a second feel guilty about losing your ~virginity~, quit it. It's normal to feel a
whole range of feelings after you have sex for the first time, but I really hope guilt isn't one of
them. There's nothing dirty or wrong about having consensual sex with someone you're into.

9. It might be something like what you've seen in porn, but also probably not at all. Watching porn
(if that's something you're into) can be helpful just so you know the basics about like ... what goes
where or whatever. But real life sex between two normal humans who aren't being directed by a
professional porn-watcher is not going to look anything like porn sex does. This is truly for the best.

10. Go pee. Go pee. GO PEE. GO PEE. GO PEE. If not immediately after you're done having sex,
then even sooner. Seriously. Get up, go pee, and pee until you can't pee anymore. There is almost
nothing worse on this planet than a urinary tract infection, and the easiest way to get one is to skip
going pee after sex. And go before too! It's essential. Welcome to the prison of adulthood.

11. Just because you have sex with someone does not mean you have to love them or marry
them. As long as your partner is on the same page, do whatever you want. Sex has very few rules,
but consent and comfort are chief among them.

12. Don't be afraid to ask your partner for what you really want. A good partner should be
accommodating, as long as it's something they're comfortable with.

13. You might not have an orgasm, but that shouldn't be the norm. And don't fake it, just because
you "feel bad" or whatever. This is why it's good to tell your partner what you want and what you
like. But don't be discouraged if you don't orgasm the first time. Sex involves a lot of moving parts
(literally) and sometimes it just doesn't happen. If you never orgasm and it becomes an issue, you
can always see your gynecologist about this. Don't let your partner have all the orgasms without
speaking up.

14. It's really only going to get better. Be patient, grasshopper. Things will improve.

Adapted from:
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a63121/before-i-had-sex/
Answer the following questions:

1. How is a first-time sexual encounter expected to be according to the article? Use adjectives
to decribe it.
2. Do all women bleed in the first-time penetration?
3. What are you advised to do after your first time sex experience if you are a woman?
4. What should you do if you are hurting after sex?
5. Name some rules for sex (there are very few)
6. How is “a good partner” for sex described in the text?
7. What is the best way to have an orgasm?

More resources:
More videos on sexual education:
AMAZE.Org (Youtube channel)

On ethical porn:
https://www.dailydot.com/irl/ethical-porn/