Communicate with

Courage
Taking Risks to Overcome
the Four Hidden Challenges
Michelle D. Gladieux
©2022 by Michelle D. Gladieux
Adapted by permission of Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.
ISBN: 978-1-5230-0312-9
Estimated reading time of summary: 8 minutes

Key Takeaways
• Becoming a great communicator requires the courage to step outside your comfort zone, face fear,
and keep self-doubt from getting in your way.
• Noticing and overcoming four hidden challenges—or obstacles—that prevent you from reaching
your full potential and living a fulfilling life is central to strong communication.
• Feedback and self-reflection are essential to overcoming challenges.
• You can evolve as a communicator throughout your life, and the benefits will be deeply rewarding.

Overview
In Communicate with Courage, Michelle D. Gladieux provides strategies to develop the courage to
communicate better. She details the four hidden challenges that get in the way of becoming a great
communicator—hiding from risk, defining to be right, rationalizing the negative, and settling for “good
enough”— and explains how conquering them will help you reach your full potential and lead to more
effective communication and stronger relationships.

Strength in Vulnerability
Fear plays a central role in shaping how people communicate. Sometimes fear indicates that you should
be careful, while other times it signals that you should be courageous. Fear sets into motion four hidden
challenges, which are ways that you avoid fear to protect yourself: hiding from risk, defining to be right,

Business Book Summaries® • Copyright © 2023 EBSCO Information Services • www.ebsco.com • All Rights Reserved 1
Communicate with Courage Michelle D. Gladieux

rationalizing the negative, and settling for “good enough.” These challenges trigger fears of rejection,
failure, change, or discomfort, and unless you try to overcome them, you won’t fulfill your potential.

Take a look at your attitudes about communication. Do you view it as lively and fulfilling or as drudgery?
When you choose to view it with optimism, you become vulnerable but also set yourself up for the best
possible outcome.

To maintain a positive outlook in communication:

• Talk back to the critical voice in your head.

• Practice self-care if you can’t be positive.
• On difficult days, create a mission statement to remind yourself of your purpose.
• Remind yourself of your successes.
• Send positive notes to people who could use them—and to people who have accomplished some-
thing.
Obtain feedback about your communication skills—both positive and negative—from colleagues,
clients, and friends. Let them know there’s no right or wrong answer—you’re simply asking for their
opinions. Then process their feedback and consider whether you want to work on changing any of your
habits.

It takes courage to ask for feedback and reflect on the responses. If this seems too difficult, reflect on the
interaction you had with the last person you communicated with. Did you give them your full attention?
Did you say something positive? Did you try to relate to them? How did you make them feel? Consider
elements that you’d like to continue to use and what you’d like to stop doing. As you’re processing the
feedback, remember that it’s important to like yourself despite any criticism.

Once you determine what to work communication skills to improve, consider letting people know that
you’re trying to change. Being open and honest helps you stay on track. It’s also an admirable behavior
to model when you’re in a leadership position.

Understanding Risk to Improve Your Relationships and Career

Pay attention to your fear so you can be smart about when to take risks. What is the source of your fear?
How can you control it rather than let it control you? By understanding the fears that prevent you from
communicating effectively, you can overcome them and become a more courageous communicator.

If you don’t take risks, you won’t live up to your potential. It feels more comfortable to stay safe, but you
miss out on many benefits that come with change. Facing your fears, embracing risk, and improving
your communication skills will help you to build relationships, share ideas, and solve problems.

Don’t be afraid to look silly as you try out new communication strategies. You will improve, one step at
a time.

Hidden Challenge #1: Hiding from Risk

Hiding from risk is failing to show your true self because you lack confidence. You hide because you’re
afraid that you’re wrong or that you’ll fail. If you fail to be seen, you miss out on opportunities to com-
municate. Harboring a fear of embarrassment or inadequacy can lead to feeling like a victim, which in
turn leads to further lack of action.
Business Book Summaries® • Copyright © 2023 EBSCO Information Services • www.ebsco.com • All Rights Reserved 2
Communicate with Courage Michelle D. Gladieux

Some people who hide from risk may seem very sure of themselves. In fact, they’re avoiding feedback
and challenges that could lead to positive change. Others who hide may come across as overly passive,
failing to speak up for themselves or others.

When you face your fear of judgment and assert yourself, positive change will occur. You begin to share
your light with the world and become a role model for others. Begin speaking up and stop hiding—to
improve yourself and to help others who could use feedback.

Challenge your assumptions about what might happen if you take risks. Practice being vulnerable and
sharing your thoughts and feelings with others.

Companies that provide good feedback allow for positive personal development and goal setting.
Reviews should be meaningful and motivating, with the goal of improving the individual and the com-
pany, and keep everyone involved from hiding.

Public speaking is one way to overcome hiding. Being a good public speaker is a learned skill, so look
for opportunities to speak in a variety of places, such as in a class, a community group, or in meetings
at work. Make it a point to speak at least once in every meeting and ask for feedback on your deliv-
ery. Everyone gets nervous now and then, but you can use your adrenaline to fuel your speech. Public
speaking helps you build self-esteem.

Hidden Challenge #2: Defining to Be Right

Defining is the tendency to believe that you’re always right and to ignore gray areas. It can make you
defensive and argumentative and can prevent you from listening to others and learning from your mis-
takes. When you define, you make quick judgments about right and wrong because it gives you a sense
of control. You may avoid looking closely at your defining behaviors because they lead you to question
your past actions.

Defining to be right shuts down the diversity of thinking that’s essential to problem-solving. It’s easy to
communicate only with people whose opinions are similar to yours; however, you miss out on learning
about other perspectives and can develop simplistic and inaccurate understandings. Call on your cour-
age to embrace diverse viewpoints and differing opinions.

All people are biased in some way. Try to be aware of and open about your biases. By challenging your
beliefs, you can build new ones that are more accurate and also become more inclusive. This inspires
others and makes you a more valuable member of the team.

Try to avoid bias that results from defining by:

• Appreciating differences, which will reduce the negative effects of bias.

• Being aware that discriminatory hiring based on race, sex, religion, or nationality still occurs, even
though it’s illegal.
• Always speaking up for what’s right.
• Using Title VII to report discrimination in the workplace.
• Practicing empathy, such as by asking open-ended questions.
• Knowing that conflict, if it’s handled well, can ultimately bring people together.

Business Book Summaries® • Copyright © 2023 EBSCO Information Services • www.ebsco.com • All Rights Reserved 3
Communicate with Courage Michelle D. Gladieux

If you’re in a position of power in your workplace or community, be sure to use it ethically. Stay true to
your word and don’t exclude people. Show gratitude, get to know others who are different from you,
and be willing to accept change.

Behaviors that can impede your ability to lead ethically include using sarcasm, denigrating others, taking
part in infighting, allowing unethical behavior to occur, and misrepresenting yourself. Such behaviors
damage your reputation, build mistrust, worsen morale, and lead to burnout.

Effective communicators move away from defining by calling out unethical behavior and focusing on
building empathy.

Hidden Challenge #3: Rationalizing the Negative

When you rationalize the negative, you focus on the negative and dismiss the positive. This can lead you
to view the world pessimistically and give up on your goals. Worrying about the pitfalls of communica-
tion rather than embracing its opportunities might cause you to avoid conversations. As a result, your
relationships will remain shallow. You’ll miss opportunities to fully engage with others and grow.

Conflict inevitably arises when we communicate. Practice handling it with skill rather than with fear. If
people can learn to disagree productively, they can better reach a common understanding. In construc-
tive conflict, the parties explore problems, seek creative solutions, and listen to one another. This positive
approach leads to stronger relationships. Destructive conflict involves harmful behavior, personalized
disagreement, and a refusal to concede. It tears relationships apart.

To encourage constructive conflict:

• Decide, with the other person, on a time to talk.

• Bring your issue to the person before sharing it with others.
• Give the person your full attention.
• Tell them that you believe you can work toward a solution.
• Identify the issue together and then ask them to speak first. Repeat what you think you heard them
say to make sure you understand it.
• Take your turn to speak.
The goal of the conversation is to work together to solve the problem.

Not all disagreements are worthwhile, but if a behavior is having a negative effect on a team, it’s worth
discussing. Healthy conflict allows you to grow as a communicator.

Hidden Challenge #4: Settling for “Good Enough”

Settling for “good enough” aims for satisfactory—rather than the best—outcomes in communication.
When you remain in your comfort zone instead of pushing yourself, you sell yourself and your team
short. You’ll learn more when you participate, and others will learn from you.

The following exercises can help you take risks as a communicator:

• List all the projects you’re working on and prioritize them.

Business Book Summaries® • Copyright © 2023 EBSCO Information Services • www.ebsco.com • All Rights Reserved 4
Communicate with Courage Michelle D. Gladieux

• Ask yourself what you like about your communication style and what you dislike, then list steps you
can take to change over the next year.
• Try to maintain positive energy in your interactions.
• Inform the other person of your intentions for communicating.
• Apologize to someone with whom you had a communication mistake in the past.
• Compliment challenging colleagues and family members when you see them do something you
appreciate.
• Write a short definition of success for your important projects.
• Admit what you don’t know and become a learner.
• Work on a growth plan that includes what you need to learn, how you’ll learn it, and a deadline.
As you replace hidden challenges with better communication habits, don’t let the challenges you defeat
simply shift into new challenges.

Risks Not Worth Taking

Being a good communicator requires taking risks—but not all risks are worth taking. For example:

• Don’t engage with people who are untrustworthy, unethical, or otherwise damaging.
• Don’t set unachievable goals. If you can’t achieve something despite trying, let it go and make a new
plan.
• Don’t let others define you. You decide what your own success looks like.
• Don’t avoid feedback, whether it’s constructive or negative.
• Don’t remain in a negative work environment if efforts to change it don’t help.
• Don’t communicate when you’re angry. Wait until you’re levelheaded.
• Don’t use unwelcome humor.
• Don’t overdo risk taking. Know where, when, and how to take risks.
• Don’t assume that the people you value know how you feel about them—tell them.
• Don’t nag. It doesn’t work.
• Don’t share confidential information.
• Don’t be misleading. It’s more trouble than it’s worth.

The Most Important Conversations to Have

To reach your full potential, consider how you communicate and with whom. Reach out to people
you’ve been meaning to have conversations with and take the time to talk. It will awaken parts of you.

When you have the right communication tools, you can show up for others and improve situations. You
can show support for others, provide feedback that holds people accountable, and have conversations
involving inclusion, forgiveness, goals, emotions, and mentorship.

When engaging in conversation, be aware of the pacing. Listen actively, be tactful and direction, and
make an effort to understand feedback. If you have something to contribute to a conversation, make
sure you do so before it ends.

Business Book Summaries® • Copyright © 2023 EBSCO Information Services • www.ebsco.com • All Rights Reserved 5
Communicate with Courage Michelle D. Gladieux

Understand your purpose as a communicator and let it guide everything you do. Turn down tasks that
don’t align with your purpose and accept the ones that you must and that really speak to you.

Build up your emotional intelligence—your awareness of other people’s feelings—and use it to shape
what you think and speak.

The Complete Risk-Taking Communicator

The more communication risks you take, the more you’ll benefit from your conversations. Your relation-
ships will evolve as you gain more trust. Encourage the teams you work on to take more risks, and have
reflective conversations about whether team communication is healthy and productive. To build trust
as a team, practice positivity, consistency, and good judgment.

You’ll always continue to evolve as a communicator, and there’s no one set of rules to follow as you do.

About the Author

Michelle Gladieux is president of Gladieux Consulting, a team helping organizations of all types and
sizes use training and coaching to improve their workforces and workplaces. She’s taught organizational
behavior and leadership courses at the undergraduate and graduate levels at three universities and
works as an executive coach, instructional designer, trainer, and keynote speaker. She loves what she
does and the people she serves, and it shows.

Purchase the Book

Copyright of Business Book Summaries, Business Book Review, and BusinessSummaries is property of EBSCO Information Services and its content may not be 6
copied or emailed to multiple sites or posted to a listserv without the copyright holder’s express written permission. However, users may print, download, or
email summaries for individual use. Business Book Summaries® is a service of EBSCO Information Services. For more information, to subscribe, or to send us
feedback, visit www.ebsco.com
www.ebsco.com.. EBSCO Information Services, 10 Estes Street, Ipswich, MA 01938 USA
Copyright of Communicate with Courage is the property of Great Neck Publishing and its
content may not be copied or emailed to multiple sites or posted to a listserv without the
copyright holder's express written permission. However, users may print, download, or email
articles for individual use. For reprints and permission requests, contact
proprietarypublishing@ebsco.com.