Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums

and Aggression
 Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

To someone on the outside, a child with autism having a meltdown might appear like a

child having a temper tantrum, but the circumstances and reasons are more complex
than what meets the eye. Those who have cared for a child with autism will know that

autism meltdowns need to be handled differently and with intimate knowledge of the

child’s personality.

Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

 Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

What is an autism meltdown?

A meltdown is defined as an intense reaction to sensory overwhelm. Autism meltdowns,
in particular, can be more emotional and last longer than usual. When a child with autism

is overwhelmed, he/she knows no other way to express it other than with a meltdown.
This might involve verbal outbursts (screaming, crying, etc.) or physical reactions (kicking,

biting, hitting, etc.).

Meltdown vs. Temper Tantrum

Although they may look similar, autism meltdowns are different from temper tantrums. A

temper tantrum is usually a child’s way of getting what he/she wants. An autism
meltdown, however, has no purpose and is beyond a child’s control.

To be more specific, a temper tantrum happens when:

A child is frustrated with not getting what he/she wants

A child is not able to do what he/she wants

A child is not able to properly communicate what he/she wants

A child might stop a tantrum after the following responses:

Being comforted by a parent or caregiver

Being given what he/she wants (although not an ideal strategy)

Being ignored and giving up on his/her own

Children who throw temper tantrums are aware and in control of their actions and can
adjust the level of their tantrum based on the response they get from a parent or adult.

Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

 Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

On the other hand, autism meltdown causes are entirely different. Because it is triggered

by sensory overload, a child with autism having a meltdown can have a few defining
characteristics.

Autistic meltdown symptoms may:

Start with “warning” signs called “rumblings”

Rumblings can be obvious or subtle, such as verbal requests to “stop” or “leave” the
cause of distress. It can also be a physical sign like covering of ears or running away from

the source of distress.

Be preceded with stimming

When a child with autism is on the verge of a meltdown, he/she might resort to

repetitive behavior called stimming to relieve anxiety. Rocking back and forth, flapping
hands, and twirling are some examples of stimming.

Be caused by overstimulation

This can include a noisy and crowded place, bright lights, and strong smells.

Not be limited to young children

Meltdowns can also happen to teens and adults with autism.

Happen with or without an audience

Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

 Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

Unlike a temper tantrum, autism meltdowns can happen with or without people around.

It can even happen when a child or a person with autism is alone. However, an autism
meltdown in public is common since public places like malls and airports are often

sources of sensory overload for children with autism.

Last longer than tantrums

You might be asking, “How long does autism meltdown last?” The answer differs with
each child, but since there is no stopping a meltdown once it starts, you can expect the

episode to continue until the child is taken out of the stressful situation or until all energy

is spent.

Once you can tell the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown, then you can apply
the right strategies to deal with the situation.

Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

 Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

Difference between autism meltdown,

tantrums, and aggression
Aggression in children with autism refers to violent behavior that may include kicking,

hitting, throwing objects, punching, and biting. Aggressive behavior can be directed to

others or oneself. Both an autism meltdown and a tantrum can involve aggression.

Outside of sensory overload that leads to a meltdown, there are other reasons why a

child with autism uses aggression. Some children become violent when an object of

comfort is taken away from them, or when they are forced into something they do not

want to do.

The key goal of handling aggression is to ensure the safety of the child and others

around him/her. Some strategies would be removing the cause of aggression, providing

calming toys and/or activities, and giving your child a safe space where he/she can calm

down.

How to deal with a temper tantrum

Dealing with a temper tantrum is different from dealing with an autism meltdown.

Children throw tantrums because they want something. This does not mean, however,

that you should always give in to every demand behind a tantrum.

Keep your calm

It is easy to get upset when your child is throwing a tantrum but try to keep yourself calm

first before addressing your child’s behavior. It does not make sense to tell your child to

stop yelling when you are also yelling. You want your child to see how he/she should be

acting—which is calm and collected.

Don’t give in

Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

 Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

The fastest way to stop a tantrum is to give the child what he/she wants. While you can

do this on certain occasions when you cannot afford to deal with a tantrum, it is not a

great strategy in the long run. Your child will learn that he/she needs to throw a tantrum

to get what he/she wants.

Acknowledge your child’s emotions

Instead of telling your child to “stop crying,” you can let him/her know that you

understand his/her feelings. You can validate feelings without giving in. For example,

saying something like, “I know you’re upset that you can’t have that toy, but we can’t buy
it right now. Maybe next time.” This lets your child know that you feel bad that he/she

feels bad, but there is nothing you can do—for now.

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Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

 Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

How to deal with autism meltdown

As no two children with autism are the same, there is no one-size-fits-all strategy on how

to handle autism meltdowns. Not all autism meltdown strategies are guaranteed to work

on every child on the spectrum. However, there are some general techniques that can be

customized to your child’s behavior and personality.

The best way to prevent your child from having a meltdown is to predict and avoid

stressors or triggers that can lead to a meltdown. This can be avoiding crowds,

establishing a set routine, and by planning ahead.

However, when a meltdown is already happening, you can try the following approach:

Leave the room or location

Sometimes, simply leaving the source of the stressor can significantly lessen a

meltdown’s severity. Lead your child away into a quieter space where he/she might be

more comfortable and able to manage his/her autism meltdown and recovery.

Use calming devices

A fidget toy, noise-canceling headphones, or weighted vest might provide immediate

comfort to an overwhelmed child. Once you identify what caused the meltdown, you can

use the appropriate calming tool to help your child tune out sensory overload and

recover from his/her meltdown.

Teach calming techniques

Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

 Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

When your child isn’t having a meltdown and is receptive, teach him/her a go-to plan if

and when a meltdown does happen. You can teach him/her deep breathing techniques,

meditation, or counting from one to ten. Once in place, you and your child can use these

strategies in calming autism meltdowns in the future.

Ensure your child’s safety

Always be with your child during a meltdown to make sure he/she is safe from harm. Do

not allow your child to run away to a busy street or run around an area where he/she

might get hurt. Learn safe ways to restrain your child’s arms and/or legs during violent
meltdowns.

Keep yourself calm

It can be frustrating trying to pacify a child during a meltdown, but it’s important to

remember that your child is not doing it deliberately. He/she is simply responding to

sensory overwhelm and has no control over his/her behavior at this point. Keep yourself

calm and composed and do your best to comfort your child in the best way you know-

how.

Autism meltdown medication

While most autism meltdowns can be managed without medication, some cases of

aggression and violent meltdowns might require additional help. It is essential to consult

your child’s doctor when deciding to use medication for autism meltdowns.

Some antipsychotic medications like Risperdal (risperidone) and Abilify (aripiprazole)

have been found to be effective in treating aggression and irritability in children with

autism. Both of these medications are approved by the FDA. Risperdal can be given to

children as young as five years old, and Abilify for children six years old and older.

Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

 Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

Autism meltdowns, tantrums, and aggression may all be part of raising a child on the

spectrum. While these can be difficult to manage at times, having the right strategies that

work for your child can significantly improve your child’s ability to regulate his/her

emotions in the future. As a parent, you know your child best and should, therefore, keep
finding the most effective and safest ways to help your child during a meltdown or

tantrum.

References:

Meltdowns – National Autistic Society. Retrieved from:

https://www.autism.org.uk/about/behaviour/meltdowns.aspx

What Causes Tantrums? – Healthline. Retrieved from:

https://www.healthline.com/symptom/tantrums

How Autistic Meltdowns Differ From Ordinary Temper Tantrums. 2019, August 21.
Retrieved from: https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-is-an-autistic-meltdown-260154

Aggressive behaviour: children and teenagers with autism spectrum disorder. Retrieved
from: https://raisingchildren.net.au/autism/behaviour/common-concerns/aggressive-

behaviour-asd

How to Handle a Temper Tantrum – WebMD. Retrieved from:

https://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/preventing-temper-tantrums-in-children#2

How to Calm a Child With Autism. 2019, June 24. Retrieved from:
https://www.verywellhealth.com/how-to-calm-a-child-with-autism-4177696

Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

 Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression

Efficacy of antipsychotics for irritability and aggression in children: a meta-analysis. 2017,

August 21. Retrieved from:

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14737175.2017.1371012

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Managing Autism Meltdowns, Tantrums and Aggression