kudaliwe .

𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑟 : 𝓼𝓷𝓮𝓮 𝓶𝓽𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓵𝓲 .

introduction .
Its getting very cold
here , my bus is
already 9 minutes
late . I'm at the bus
station coming from
work and its already
17:09 this damn bus
was supposed to be
here by o'clock .

yes its exactly that , I

am very short
tempered ; I have a
bit of anger issues &
a bit of a cold heart .
my heart is quick to
hate & doesn't easily
forgive ... angyena
neze neze umuntu
wabantu , I think its
one of the reasons
why I don't have too
many friends , its
just Amokuhle &
Bongeka .
I have short hair ,
literally 1 cm . I am a
bit tall . my boobs
are small & so is my
waist . I have a bit of
nyash (ass) & hips
mancane kodwa
ayavela , nginezitho
eziyimcondo futhi at
the same time ,
ngnegwegwe
elilodwa on my left
leg but its not that
visible ngaphandle
masugxila kulo then
lapho uzolibona .

I'm 23 years old , I

work at a very rich
coffee shop in
gateway mall
"starbucks" . I live in
a 4 room apartment
with my roommate
Thando ngaphakathi
KwaMashu
esngqaw'nqawini ,
its half an hour
(30minutes) away
from work & thats
why I take a bus
cause its more
affordable .

I am Wandile ,
Wandile Shandu &
this is the story of
my life .
______________________
______
insert 01 .

the bus finally gets

here at 05:21pm &
the driver starts
apologizing telling
us about how bad
the traffic was on his
way here blah blah
blah , okay i pay for
my trip & I sit right
at the back cause I
know I'm still half an
hour away from
home .

* the bus stops *

thats my stop , I get
out of the bus & hold
on tight to my
handbag & phone , I
know the maphara's
on this side . I walk
in fear going home
even though the
streetlights are
turned on still
kuyasabisa ngoba
lezigilamkhuba
zangala azizbekile
phansi ... seke
ngabanjwa inkunzi
some time ago I
think last year .
ngangiphuma khona
emsebenzini
bathatha ibrazilian
weave yami ngasala
nesnuph'sami sa R30
, ngakhala phela
kodwa its all in the
past now .

I get home & I lock

the door ...
me : Thando ?

I call her as I take off

my shoes , ngaze
ngakhathala but
atleast ksasa angiyi
emsebenzini . my
work uniform is
dirty , that means I
have to do my
washing tommorow .
Thando : mtase .

she calls me mtase , I

think mtase is too
cute . this girl is too
nice & sometimes
kuyangixaka

me : sengbuyile ,
uright ?
she nods while
breaking ice in her
mouth ; she is
addicted to just
having ice &
breaking it , she
could do it all day .

* she swallows *
Thando : how was
work ?

me : work was work

nje , wena ?

Thando : I'm
exhausted , oh I'm
making noodles ,
should I make for
some for you ?

me : flavour ?
Thando : khona
idurban curry .

me : yes please
kodwa ngsayogeza ,
congbekela khona
kwimicrowave lapho
. I will take them
mase ngiqede
ukugeza .
she nods again , our
bond is kinda
complicated .we are
not friends , we are
not close but I do
like her ; siyazwana
kodwa obviously we
fight (alot) & we do
somethings together
but I met her here ,
she met me her , no
glitter no sparks .
I walk to my room , I
have my own & she
has her own & then
a
bathroom/shower/toi
let & then the
kitchen . no dinning
room or anything
like that as I said , its
just a 4 room house
...
I take off my work
uniform & I take my
shower cap with me
& I walk with my
underwear & bra to
the bathroom
ngisexy yazi mina .
ngyadlala let us
focus .

I take the rest of my

clothes off for a
quick 5 minutes
shower .

I open the shower

tap & I wait for the
water to be warm so
I could get in

“aw insizw' eyningi

zona
zazam'ukshela
kodwa zahluleka..
wen'
ungithembiseli
ukuthi
uzoleth'omalume
bokhuleka...

wena uzongthanda .
uzongshada ,
uzongthanda
omalume bokhuleka
”
I vibe along with
myyy song , Azana
really went hard on
zalabantu , this song
is such a smooth
banger , I might not
relate to this song
bcs igirl is single but
its definetly a 11/10 .

after the 5 minutes

shower , I take off
the plastic on my
head ... I had cut my
hair recently so I
have very short hair
but it suits me , I
really am a pretty
girl ; ubuhle is what
I have .

I wear my short
pjamas & I apply my
face product , yo I
use to have so many
pimples all my
highschool years &
then my mom
introduced me to
cuticura ohh GOD ,
me & cuticura were
& are still good ; I'm
glad it didn't ruin my
face , iyangthanda
nansilento .

speaking of my mom
, angsanabo abazali ;
they both passed
away in a car
accident on their
way to my
graduation ...

I won't go deep into

detail but intando
kaNkulunkulu
ibuhlungu
sometimes , I was 21
when I graduated in
varsity so I do have a
degree in teaching , I
didn't take that for
granted cause I did
look for a job ,
applied with my cv
in some schools I
guess it wasn't part
of God's plan for me
to be a teacher , look
now I am 23 , I am a
coffee waitress that
gets paid R9500 per
month . I am not
going to lie , I love
my job so much , I
enjoy serving people
coffee & getting a
few tips ; proudly a
waitress lol .

I walked to take the

kitchen to take my
noodles , oh nkosi I
love durban curry .

I walk to her room ...

me : ngyabonga
yezwa ?

Thando : don't you

want to sleep with
me tonight ? I had a
bad dream last night
.

aw , useyaphaphake
uThando sezenza
ingane ena 5 . I don't
like pretending
nanoma kubani nje .
l am a very honest
person but she made
me noodles so I will
sleep with her but
only for tonight only
.

I don't like sharing a

bed unless we are
dating or atleast
close friends ...
otherwise I love my
peace & I want to
sleep with my legs
wide open ,
uyangizwa ? ngfuna
ukuthi manglala
ngigcwale umbhede
wami .

me : hawu ngampela
?

*sarcasm*

Thando : yea , it was

so scary ... please .
me : okay , let me go
get my phone in my
room .

I take my phone &

charger , my noodles
are getting cold . I
walked back to her
room .
I stand by the door
while eating cause
now she is making
the bed so we could
sleep .

Thando : uzombatha
?
me : ehhe .

she lays neatly the

blacket ...
Thando : hlalake .
she sleeps facing the
side I'm going to
sleep in & she is on
her phone
meanwhile I'm
eating while reading
a pdf novel on my
phone "umageza" .

Thando : haw , can I

ask you something ?
I pretend to not hear
her , ayibo mfethu
angzwani nescefe
kanti lona ufunani
ngoba phela
sengshiye umbhede
wami ngazolala naye
usefuna ukubuzani
manje ?

Thando : Wandi !

me : mh ?
Thando : can I ask
you something ?

me : buza .

Thando : when am I
going to meet her ?

me : who ?

Thando : I can see

you smiling on your
phone , ungalinge
nje uphike .

I laugh .

I am lesbian by the
way , I've never
dated a singlw man
in my life , I have no
feelings for men .
me : ayibo I am
reading a novel lana
& I am finding a cute
part of the story ,
ucathi ngismile.iswa
ukuthi ngiyajola ?

hawu uyahlanyake
shuthi uThando ,
uyafana nse
nomama cause I
remember in
highschool I use to
read pdf novels &
smile to them abo "I
fell inlove with a
blind man ,
mahlomu the wife &
beauty beyond the
orange uniform" &
my mom would also
think I'm probably
talking to my
"boyfriend" cha ay .
ukube uyazi
uThando ukuthi I
last dated last year
in november & its
february now .
Thando : ngikbona
uhleka phela mina ,
so nje awujoli ?

me : lutho cabanga .

Thando : ubusy
ufundana nama
novels
awumsangano lapho
, thola indoda uzoba
right .
me : awu
ngzoyenzani kodwa
indoda Thando ?

Thando : thola phela

leyontombike
okungenani , uyoze
ufe ungalwazi
uthando
lwezithandani
zangampela .
she is right though , I
am lesbian but I
have only dated 2
people my whole life
.

angsayikhulumi
eyabangani bami
who have tried
hooking me up with
guys but its just not
there , I don't feel
anything for men ; I
am what I am but I
understand why its
hard for them to
accept that .

uAmokuhle nje
hlezathi I'm too
pretty to be dating
girls only ey bafethu
ukube niyazi ukuthi
isketi ngisthanda
kanjani !

girls are gorgous . I

can't be the one to be
straight .

ngaqedake ukudla ,
angsuthanga kodwa
akunankinga . seku
19 : 34 , ngyezelake
manje .

I texted my girls , we
talk but not all the
time . even weeks
pass without us
talking to each other
. its just something
we've normalised .

I will sleep now

cause vele I need to
wake up early ksasa
so I could wash my
clothes before the
sun fully comes out .
the following day ...

I was up by 5 am & I
started washing my
clothes , its close to
half 6 now and I'm
finally done .

I want to go to the
mall today ... I want
to try something
new with my hair ,
maybe dye with
colour blonde/ginger
; or do s - curls yazi
angazi .

I took a shower &

wore a black short
that i brought from
the boys side
@mrprice with a
black bra & a black
& white baggy t-shirt
(lace) . I took a wet
towel ngase ngasula
kancane kwitekkie
lami elimnyama , I
don't have alot of
money but I try so
much for my fashion
to make SENSE !

I do dress like a boy

but not all the time ,
I can be a girl
sometimes , well
maybe not
sometimes , I do
have skirts & dresses
but I no longer wear
them cause my
parents are dead &
because they just
feel too
uncomfortable .

ngaze ngalamba , I
make 3 eggs , 1 for
me for 2 slices & 2
for Thando . I
quickly eat & finish
after that I wake
Thando up to tell her
I am leaving in a few
minutes & asked if
she wants me to
bring anything for
her .

me : Thando ! vuka .
Thando : mmh ?

I can see ukuthi this

person is still
sleeping & she won't
hear what ever I
want to say to her .

*phone rings*

I ignore it . I really
hate calls , unless
siyathandana or
hlampe uwumzali
wami ... manje
angthandani
namuntu futhi
abazali abekho ,
even my 2 friends
bayazi ukuthi
angfonelwa mina .

again . * phone rings

*

me : ayibo kanti
yinike ?
I walk to my room to
check who's calling ?
its an unsaved
number so I watch it
ring until it stops

I take my capitec
card & phone , no
handbag today I will
just put the card &
the money for the
uber on my phone
case .
I check the time , its
still 8:02am & my
phone is on 68% but
its fine ; the battery
will last .

I open the door &

take my keys incase I
don't find Thando
when I come back .

me : sengihambile
Thando , khona
amaqanda aphekwe
microwave
amboziwe lapho .

sengyamemeza
ngoba
sengsemnyango
angfuni ukuhamba
ngingamtshelanga .

Thando : okay ,
byeee .
insert 2 .
@zee's salón .

ay , iyasha ingevu ,
kunomsindo
laykhaya awema .
sengicikwa
nalomsindo wama
hairdryer &
mangithi ngyabuka
ngakosink , I find
ukuthi the sink tap
has been running for
a very long time ,
bayawamosha
amanzi lana .

I look for a nice

hairstyle in the
hairstyle board
hoping I can find
something that
would suit me .

aah , I think this is

nice . I am deciding
to dye the hair with
the blond colour .

I show the girl that is

going to do my hair
& she actually agrees
with me that this
hairstyle will do me
the way I think it
will .

*phone vibrates* in
my pocket .

its ringing again &

its this same number
, its the 3rd time this
number is calling
maybe its an
emergency .
me : excuse me .

I answer it & wait

for the person to
speak , they drop the
call ... you see ?
sengnyanyileke
manje angeke
usangenza lutho .

please don't judge

me , I have tried
attending therapy
for close to a month ,
sengize ngayiyeka
cause its quiet
expensive but it was
worth me trying to
calm myself , deal
properly with my
anger issues & short
temper .

the lady from the

salon told me to sit
down & she tied
some plastic on my
neck covering all my
clothes so that I
won't get dirty .

she does her thing &

applies the dye . this
thing is cold on my
head & smells bad ,
its giving me bad
goosebumps .

she pulls my chair

closer to the sink &
does whatever she is
doing . in 20
minutes she was
done & did me some
small edges oh
nkosiyami ngaze
ngamuhle , I take a
few mirror pictures
& I pay by the till &
give her a R30 tip for
being gentle with my
hair . I hate my hair
being touched now
imagine
usuzongthinta
uphinde unglimaze ,
yenake uberight ;
wangi handle.isha
kahle nje .

I leave the salon

looking fresh & I
could feel people
starring , ngisho
amantombazane
ajika nami . *winks*

my phone notifies
me a message from
whatsapp from
"Thando roomie"
athi "please bring
me chocolate yogurt
, sour snakes & dark
darrrk chocolate ,
thanks in advance" ,
I know when she
craves for this that
means she has her
period or is a day
closer to it .

ngzomphathela vele
ngoba ekseni
bengimbuzela for
such reasons .

I enter mr price first

& then h&m just to
window shop on a
few clothes cause
vele I'm getting paid
next week & I want
to buy new clothes .

when I was done I

went to checkers
hyper , I looked to
my left on the line &
I saw this cute
babygirl , she looks
in the ages of 7/8 &
looks happy while
running away from
someone & comes to
hide behind me ,
luckily I do like kids ,
but I just adore them
from a distance &
not ukuthi ibeyami
but maybe ibe
eyamngani wami
then ngyayithandake
lapho kodwa
masekungeyami cha
, ngyabonga .

I laugh & asked her

who is she playing
with .

young girl : I am
hiding from my
aunty and ... oh no
here she comes
sssshh .
I giggle a little & look
in the direction
where she was
coming from ...
"Amanda ! "
I bet thats the aunty
calling her .
"Amanda kodwa
nkosiyami" , she
starts to get really
worried & the people
at the shop are all
looking at her .
I raise my hand up
to her & she comes ,
I carry Amanda to
my left ngambeka
eqolo .

"oh nkosi wangsiza

sis , yini kodwa
ungibukanise
nabantu , ikuphi
inkinga yakho
Amanda ?"
Amanda : if you still
don't want to buy me
the icecream then I
will be running
away from you this
whole day .

"soxabanake
uzobona ,
ngzomtshela
nomama wakho
ukuthi usuyahlupha"
the aunty replies .
I hand Amanda over
to her , Amanda is a
cute little girl & her
aunty ? is gorgous
ayibo , I can't quit
starring .

"thanks again sis

wami , wamuhle did
you just your hair ? "
I smile to her
showing that its a
pleasure & she is
welcome .
me : yupp .

really Wandile ?
"yupp"? . yo
ngyathithiza when I
see pretty girls , yazi
ukube ngvele
ngathula .

she nods & walks

away with her niece
. I can't believe I'm
starring
umntanabantu
estolo waze
wayojika icorner .

"sis uline uyahamba"

says a guy behind
me , I
Iook at him & I walk
closer to the till .

I pay for the snacks

...
cashier : plastic ?
me : yea sure .

she hands in one

plastic & I pack my
things , I get my slip
& leave the mall .

I call for an uber

that takes me
straight home , ubers
are damn expensive
.

@home .

I knock & get inside ,

I walk to the kitchen
& find Thando
washing the dishes .
me : hey ,
nazintozakho .

Thando : ngyabonga
mtase , please
remind me your
money as soon as
I'm done with these
dishes .

me : chabo ,
akunankinga .
Thando : really ?

me : hawu yea , yini

wamangala ?

she laughs .

Thando : ukuthi
wena uhlezi uyifuna
phela imali yakho
manje ngyamangala
mawungayfuni
namhlanje .
me : I guess I'm in a
good mood today ...

Thando : wait there

is something
different about your
face , wait your hair
? its oh my , waze
wamuhle !

Thando is very slow ,

it took her 36seconds
to finally see that I
did my hair ?
mmxxm .

me : ngyabonga , is it
really that good ?

Thando : yess , you

look like uhh ...
whose this girl from
house of zwide ;
mampho !
me : ay ay , mampho
is way too prettier
then this .
usunehhabake nje
wena .

we both break a
huge laugh .

Thando : ngiserious
ukube uyazi .
me : you should
really see an eye
doctor .

Thando : ohho .

I put the chocolate &

yogurt in the fridge
& take my things ...
Thando : okay
ubusashoke ukuthi
imali angingakniki
cause you are in
good mood wara
wara , kwenzekeni ?

me : no I met this
other nice girl , like
she was so pretty &
naye she
complimented my
hair .
Thando : mmhh , I
see ... someone is
having a new crush
.

me : whoaa , hold it .
mna ? crush ?

she laughs .

Thando : yes , you .

did you get her
name ? or her
number ?

me : noo , we spoke
for a few seconds
plus I only know her
neice's name & not
hers .

Thando : wee ay
uyathithizake wena .
me : mmmmmxxm ,
ngsayolala .

I drag my "mxm" & I

leave for my room ,
its close to half 12
now , I am glad that I
did my laundry
today & left earlier
for my hair .

I take out my phone

from my pocket & I
looked
for my earphones in
my handbag from
yesterday .

you know I'm going

to play - azana ;
zalabantu on my
highest volume level
... and I sleep on my
bed hoping
ngzozumeka & wake
up later on to
continue with
reading the novel I
was reading vele
ekqaleni .

you know when you

are sleeping right ?
but before ulale
ubuthongo
usuzongena
ebuthongweni
ungakangeni ... yea
besengilapho & then
my music stopped ,
so my music only
stops for 2 reasons ...
its either I switch it
off or someone is
calling so I know I
didn't switch it off
manje ubani
lesislima esingfonela
sengithi nje
ngyangena
ebuthongweni .

it appears on the
screen "Amo" .

I answer it .
me : yini ?
Amo : usalele emini
kangaka ?

i wake up to sit
properly ...

me : chabo ,
khuluma phela .

Amo : uyaya
emsebenzini ksasa ?
me : yea . yindaba?

Amo : uphuma
ngoba iskhathi ?

me : ulesngaki ksasa
?

Amo : its Saturday .

me : ngphuma u half
2.
Amo : okay
ngzokfonela
ntambama .
she hangs up .

me : ey chabo ,
ungangfoneli . you
could've just texted
me , nx .
I woke up 3 hours
later , a call from
Amo again woke me
up . yo
lentombazane
ngzoyiblock.a stru .

I answer the phone .

me : yini kanti Amo ,

awufuni ukungbona
ngijabulile ?
ngenzeni kuwe kanti
mina ?
Amo : anje I told you
ukuthi ngzokfonela
ntambama suwenza
ngathi akaze
nguktshele .

me : khuluma ,
ufunanike ?

Amo : be nice , be
polite , calm down .
me : yo uyangcasula
yazi .

I drop the call & I

power off my phone
. isdina kodwa esani
ku Amo .

I just decided to
wake up cause I
know ubuthongo
abusekho but I
atleast I did get some
rest .

I go to Thando's
room & I find her
watching some
series unbothered .

me : should I cook ?
Thando : already did
.
me : what did you
cook?
Thando : haw , yini
ubuze . hambobona .

me : hawu ngtshela .
Thando :
hambonona .

I go to the kitchen
dragging my feet . I
open the pot & I see
she cooked pasta &
cheese but let me go
bath & then eat after
.
Insert 03 .

a few days later .

lwaze lwalude usuku
lwanamuhla . I am
at work today , on
my afternoon shift .

college Thapelo :
Wandile , sir is
asking for you in his
office .

its actually 15:56 pm

& my shift is ending
at half 4 . I quickly
wipe the table with a
cloth & I walk to his
office .

I was late for work

today but I don't
think the boss knows
about that so why
would he call me
here , he never does
that unless he has a
complain .
I knock & enter .

me : good day sir .

he is sitting on his
chair , he really
looks really busy ...
he points the chair
indicating that I
should take a sit .
I sit down & he
seems to be writing
something ... am I
getting a warning ?
what did I do so bad
? now I can't stop
stressing .

I clear my throat &

he gives me a weird
look & stops
whatever he is doing
& he takes off his
glasses so he could
start talking .

boss : ehh ,
bayaphila ekhaya ?

my boss is very old ,

he is in his late 50's
& tends to forget
most things ; I have
told him before
ukuthi angnawo
umndeni othi mina ,
kuyimanje ungbuza
ukuthi bayaphila
ekhaya kodwa its
fine angeke nglokhu
ngimbambezela .

me : yebo , bayaphila
.

boss : usawuthanda
umsebenzi wakho ?

me : big .
boss : big ?

konje he is old
fashioned .

me : yebo
ngyawuthanda
kakhulu .
boss : kade
ngicabanga la .

me : ngilalele .
he is talking in
riddles angmuzwa
mina lomuntu .

boss : angsathandi
ukuthi ungsebenzele
.

my heart skipped a
beat .
boss : ngfuna
ukukwenza umakoti
wakwami .

I decided to keep
quiet ngoba meke
ngakhuluma
nkosiyami ngampela
ngampela konuka
umsunu , I mean I've
worked for this guy
close to 11 months
now & I have been
nothing but one of
his best workers ,
why is doing this to
me ?

boss : angazi noma

ngyezwakala ,
kuyoba sekuba
ezandleni zakho
ukuthi uma unqaba
uzobe usungshayela
isishwapha sakho
uphume uphele la .
a tear fell , kanjalo
nje ?

I stood up & took the

kitchen cloth with
me .
me : ngyabonga .

I leave and close the

cloor .
... wait no . this is not
how I should react , I
walk back to his
office ...

me : uyahlanya ?
huh ? ikhanda lakho
liright ?

boss : cela
ungehliseke
umsindo wakho
maShandu .
me : maShandu
woknuka yini loyo ,
sekyophela unyaka
ngisebenza laykhaya
serving your damn
customers & this is
the way you thank
me ? I am one of the
best workers here &
you know that deep
down . uyislima , yo
fuckkk !
I threw the cloth to
his face & I leave to
the door & I bang his
door so hard ...

I take a deep breath

& walk back to the
kitchen , I wipe
again my tears & I
see 2 people
standing in the line
waiting to order . see
? see what I'm
talking about ? I
leave for 5 minutes
& already everything
is starting to be a
mess , people aren't
supposed to wait
unattended no
matter what , the
other workers are on
lunch & lana
abakhona
bayanokoza ,
dammit ! I can't even
calm down .
I walk agressively to
the staffroom . I take
my handbag & my
phone out of the
charger . I leave
without saying
goodbye to anyone ...
mind you the line
has 6 people now &
still no one is
attending them .

I left STARBUCKS &

promised myself
that the only time I
will come back to
this place is never .

I called an uber &

got home , gosh what
am I going to do now
? did I really just get
fired from work
because I know I
won't be his wife , ay
kodwa naye
uyangijwayela
amasimba .

I open the door & get

inside , umoya wami
uphansi nje
nenhliziyo yami
ikuhlungu . my
mood is off , my
head has a lot going
on ... I am so tired .

Thando is at work &

will be back very
late , tommorow I
have a therapy
session kodwa I am
thinking of dropping
this thing .
nkosiyami this is too
much for me .

I really have to get a

new job , I took my
phone & played “ sza
- days ” on repeat .
ingoma
iyaphambana
kakhulu with what is
happening right now
kodwake its sza , I
love sza .

hours went & its 6 :

32 pm .

the door opens while

I was washing the
dishes in the sink .
Thando : mtase ?
me : ngikhona .

Thando : ey lifuna
ukuna nali izulu .

she gets inside and

takes an apple out of
the fridge .

Thando : ayibo
uright ?
me : yea ngiright ,
yindaba ?

Thando : ngyazi
awukho right .

me : ngiright serious
.

Thando : unamanga ,
njengoba ucobekile
unjena nje . yindaba
mtase ?
me : Thando
ngixoshiwe
emsebenzini .

she puts her hands

on her face (mouth)
.

Thando : haa
Wandile !
me : look I'm sorry , I
will get a new job & I
promise I won't
bother you with
anything .

she comes towards

me & hugs me , I
really needed that
but now I'm all
emotional & weak . I
start to cry
Thando : ssh , no
ungakhali yezwa ?
its really going to be
okay , ungazistressi
uzoba right yezwa ?

I nod & wipe my

tears , cha kwazi
kwakuhlunguke
lokhu kimi .

Thando : hambo
cambalala
ngzoqhubeka
nezitsha mase
ngzopheka ukudla
sidle .

me : ngyabonga
kakhulu .

I go to my room & I
close the door . I lay
on my bed , I can't
sleep though , I take
my laptop & connect
to the wifi & I look
for posters maybe on
teaching . I apply in
3 different schools
but I think ilapho
engizumeke khona ,
I guess I was tired
after all .
insert 04 .

I wake up at 4 : 13
am , I just had a very
horrible dream but I
never take dreams
seriously , ewe I
know other people
believe that every
dream has a
meaning , kodwa ay
lapha kimi .
I go take a shower &
make my bed , after
that I go make
myself cornflakes &
my phone rings & I
decide to answer .

me : Wandile
Shandu speaking .

“yes ma'am , we are

calling for the job
you applied for . can
you please meet us
today at the office
for an interview @
09 : 00 am , we will
send more details on
your email ”

me : okay , thank
you .

I drop the call & start

to jump the whole
entire house so
yesterday on my
laptop I saw 3
posters in teaching
@ different
sites/schools , they
were looking for
english teachers & I
know I mastered my
english in school ? I
have A's there &
there ... I have a
degree remember ?
& so I applied my cv
to all of them now I
was called for an
interview , God is
really great .

today is a warm
Monday so I wear
my black skinny jean
with my black &
white northface t-
shirt , I looked for
my vans tekkies &
also wore them . I
decided to comb my
hair a little & after
that I woke Thando
up to tell her I am off
to an interview &
she adviced we
should pray so that
everything goes well
so we did & she
khapha'ed me to the
gate .

me : wish me luck .
Thando : all the best
mtasekhaya .
I smiled , waved
goodbye & got an
uber .

...

I am in the car now

driving to a school
close to eMlazi ;
eMlazi Primary
School & listening to
my favourite gospel
song by a gospel
choir ; joyous
celebration - “
sinomhlobo ”

I pay and get out of

the car , I'm 12
minutes earlier
cause its still 8 : 48 &
they said I must be
here by atleast 9am .
I get inside & start
asking for directions
to the office , I was
then told to wait
outside & I will be
attended .

I join the line of 3

people infront of me
not knowing if they
are also here for the
same reason why I'm
here .
.....

its now 9:02 & some

guy wearing a suit
comes towards us &
introduces himself
as Mzwandile
Ngubane after that
he starts to call out
our names ...
Mzwandile : If I call
your name , you
follow me .

we all nod , so am I
really looking
forward to this ; like
I am going to be
teacher ? even
though kids are so
rude & irritating ,
but my mom was a
teacher ; I might
have a thing or 2
from her .

insert 05 .
a few days later .
not much has
happened in past
few days , I mean
angsebenzi &
ngbhorekile la
ekhaya .
my interview went
very well that other
day kodwa they said
they will call me , I
mustn't call them so
this requires me to
patient & angyena
mina umuntu
onesneke mina .

I can't believe ukuthi

I was even
considering to go
back & beg my
previous boss kodwa
cha , my pride
ayingvumeli ukuthi
ngenze leyonto
kodwa futhi angfuni
ukuba umahlalela .
I just woke up & it is
now 08:04am , I
make my way to the
kitchen & I make
strong coffee , I do
feel that today will
need alot from my
energy .

the kettle boils & I

put the water in the
cup , the sugar &
coffee . I then take 3
slices of bread & I
put some nuttella yo
I love nuttella so
much , I could eat it
everyday ; all day .

I walk slowly back to

my room so my
coffee won't spill , I
enter the door & I
see my phone
vibrating on top of
my bed ; its okay
cause its a
notification .
I put my cup & plate
on my table & take
my phone , an email
pops & I never really
check my emails
most of time so I
open this one ...

it reads :

“dear miss Shandu ,

we are pleasured to
finally select you as
one of our employee
, you as one of
eMlazi primary
school teachers ,
your job application
was succesful ,
please do come
tommorow to
finalise everything .
yours sincerly ...”

I couldn't hold my
tears , I started
twerking &
screaming . running
around the entire
house , I am so
proud of myself & I
can feel my mom &
dad looking out for
me , my true angels .
I was so grateful & I
couldn't even stop
crying , these news
were too good .
I can't wait for
Thando to come
back ; she must hear
my exciting news ,
ayibo waze
wamkhulu
uNkulunkulu .

I finish eating my
food & I wash the
dishes , I sweep
around the house & I
take a 2 hour nap .
I am waken up by a
knock on my room
door & its Thando .

Thando : sengbuyile
, uright ?
ngacikica amehlo & I
yawn while nodding
.

Thando : nami
ngiright .

me : iskhath'sini ?
Thando : ay
ngiphume early
today ksawu 1 .
me : ohh ...

I stand up & walk

towards her .
me : congi hug.a
Thando : okay why ?
me : just hug me .

she opens her arms

for me & I hug her so
tight , I really needed
a hug .

I whisper to her "I

got the job cabanga"
.
she lets go of me &
starts jumping
around , screaming
"hawe maaaaa ! " yo
she was so happy
you could swear she
is the one that got
the job , yo ngeke , I
love Thando .

Thando : awu mtase

! ngaze
ngakujabulela ; haa
siyabonga bakithi .

she hugs me again &

we both start to cry ,
sesinehhabake
kodwa phela its just
a few tears of joy , I
want to celebrate .

Thando : asambe
siyekitchen ; I
brought dunked
wings & burgars for
lunch .

I smile & we both

walked to the
kitchen while I drag
my feet , my body is
so tired but its fine I
understand ;
sebeqalile
bayangloya ngoba
nakhu sengizoba
uthishela , ngyadlala
.
she divides the 8
wings into 4s & the 2
burgars for the both
of us .

we walk to sit in my
room & she starts
teling me ngomjolo
wakhe & how she
misses her man , her
man is in Joburg ;
gone for work so
they decided to do
this long distance
shit & they see each
other every 3months
nakhona for 1 week .
yo mina asoze shem
, I guess asifani
singabantu .

Thando : uthe
uzongfonela ebsuku
today .
me : ha Thando
kanti don't you guys
talk everyday ?

Thando : no , ay
njalo but maybe
twice a week .

me : awu ngeke !
aneva , you guys call
whatever you are
doing a relationship
?
we both laugh .

Thando :
uyangthanda
uThemba & ngyazi
akadlali ngami .

me : uyamthemba
loThemba wakho ?

Thando : ehhe yini

kanti usufuna
umuntu wami
ngingamthembi ?

I laugh cause now

useyabaseleka .

me : Thando
mntanami lalela ,
abafana izinja .

Thando : ngoba
nakhu wenake .
me : mina ini ?
Thando : utshekile .

we both break a
huge laugh , Thando
can be funny
sometimes ; when
we were done eating
she asked if I could
plait her amashunqu
, amashunqu
amagoda kahle
kahle angazi why la
bewabize
ngamashunqu .

she has nice long

hair & she takes care
of her afro , I did her
mashunqu's & that
was it for the day ,
eksuku she made me
choose a nice outifit
for tommorow so I
ironed it & later
slept with her in my
room .
insert 06 .

"a very goodmorning

to me , I slept very
well & I love me so
much , may I have a
nice day " ; I said
that as I was looking
at myself in the
mirror waiting for
my uber to arrive ,
Thando went for
work & she blew me
kisses hoping I have
a nice first day .

I am wearing a
white & orange floril
skirt revealing some
part on my right
thigh & a white t-
shirt with my white
nike tekkies . I can't
decide if I should
bring a red pen or
not (jokes) ; I have a
white small handbag
with me , my phone
& money is inside .

a car hoots outside

my gate , I kiss the
mirror (kissing me)
& I lock the door &
out I go .
I make sure the gate
is locked too .

I enter the uber &

greet the driver , he
compliments me , as
he should ngoba the
gorgous girl I am
ishhhh ishh ish , I
would date me too I
know .

...
I am now on my way
to "work" ayibo
ngaze ngaphapha
ekseni kungakashayi
ngisho u7 , well its 5
minutes to 7am
kodwa still nje
ukuphapha
okungaka .

the car stops , I pay

for my trip & head
out .
I walk to the school
gate & the security
lets me in , I make
my way to the office
& I ask for help ...
they point me the
principals office .

I knock & after

hearing "ngena" I fix
my skirt to look
presentable & I get
inside .
Principal : hawu
ngane yami .

hawema , lona ! I
know this guy from
somewhere , his face
is so familiar .

me : san'bona baba .
Principal : usukhule
kangaka !
yes I knew it , it was
my dad's bestfriend .
this day is getting
even better , this is
bab'Zikhali if I'm not
mistaken , ngsakhula
him & his wife were
some sort of my GOD
parents , like
bebezwana kakhulu
nomama nobaba .
me : ngaze ngajabula
ukukbona .

he stands ups & hugs

me .

Principal : wuwe lo
osula , ozosebenza
khona la namhlanje ,
cha ngempela
umhlaba muncane ;
bengingazitsheli
ukuthi ngyoke
ngiphinde
ngikubone .

I smile out of joy , I

think its Gods plan
ukuthi ngilana & I
got to meet him
again ; ayibo ulunge
kabi lobaba cause
we were located in
jozini with my
family & him , his
wife & his son would
come all the way
from Durban to
Jozini to visit mom &
dad , his son used to
be my age & he used
to like me ey
wayengthanda
uSanele kodwa
ngamchazela ukuthi
mina nabafana
izinto eymbili
ngampela
ezingasoze
zahlangana & the
last time I saw them
was at my parents
funeral .

me : sengahlala
khona la ethekwini ,
ngaqeda naseskoleni
...

Principal : aw
nganekabafo ,
usamkhumbula
kodwa uSanele ;
indodana yami .
me : yebo ,
ngsamkhumbula .

Principal : naye
usebenza khona la
etranset
mawuphuma nje
ubheka nga
koPortespston , aze
naye ngama
mpelasonto
ezosbona nomama
wakhe . zolo lokhu
nje kade nidlala
egcekeni lakini
nehla nenyuka ;
namhlanje nikhulile
nibangaka .

hawe ma , angsazi
ngzothini ; ngyamazi
phela lobaba angeke
esaqeda
ukukhuluma
sekuyoze kuvalwe .

me : yebo baba .
Principal :
kulungileke , nazi
intozakho .

he gives me a
timetable , a pencil
case bag , 3 red pens
, a 72page with
another 2 quire & 2
grade 03 english
textbooks with a
teachers guide too !
yess I am going to be
an english teacher .
Principal : uzobona
nawe la , itimetable
le ; engathi ungaba
nosuku oluhle
lokuqala
emsebenzini .

me : ngyabonga
kakhulu .
I smile & take the
things that he gave
me .

I thank him again &

leave his office , with
a smile on my face ; I
am a bit nervous
though .

I walk out of the

office & I greet the
other group of
educators , I think I
am the youngest
here but its fine ;
ngizojwayela .

insert 07 .

its 7 : 30 now & the

bell rings , all kids
gather to the
assembly & some are
late cause I see them
still entering the gate
, they start to sing a
song & they all sing
along ; to
compliment a few
things about this
school is that its big ,
its big & it has stairs ,
the ground is big ,
the learners in here
seem to be smart by
how neatly they
dress & the uniform
ah ! top quality ,
almost all of them
have even have
blazers .

they were done

singing , the
principal/Mr Zikhali
leads them to pray
"our father" , after
that they all went to
their respective
classes .

I walk to the
staffroom & I greet
everyone that is
there , they reply
with smiles , I even
introduced myself ;
this is so
uncomfortable
though , I sit with my
things next to me & I
look on my timetable
ukuthi when am I
having my first class
to teach & it on
period 2 & period 3 .
now I know its
period 1 & when the
bell rings I go there
... It looks like I am
going to be teaching
3 grade 03 classes ,
3A , 3B & 3C ; hoping
for the best .
I take my phone &
walk around the
school , I buy a can
of coke & I start
walking up the stairs
. I could hear
learners reading ,
counting abo 1 to 10
& the grade R's
singing those songs
"walking down the
streets" , "nampaya
omama bethweli'
mithwalo" .
I bump into 4 guys , I
am not sure if they
are also teachers or
what but they are by
the chorido upstairs
& they are talking !
ekseni nje
sekunabafana
abadla ingevu kanje
.

I greet "sanibona"
they all stare ; no
one is replying they
are all quiet & just
starring at me , so I
decide to greet again
"sanibona!" , one
replies "awu kodwa
my sister" I look &
continue to walk
while drinking my
drink with a straw .

I text Thando
"bitchhhh kumnandi
cabanga la , like its
so damn nice & fun ,
I met someone I
knew from long time
ago though ; I hope I
will be totally just
fine "

as I was walking
back to the staffrom ,
I find one of the four
guys I came across
ekqaleni & he starts
stealing glances , I
get inside & right on
that moment the bell
rings ; I walk to
room 12 upstairs
which 3A & I will be
having a double
period there .

as I was walking
towards the class ,
these kids were
making noise & the
second I walked in
everyone started
moving to their
places & they kept
quiet .

me : goodmorning ?

they all stand up

ngeskhathi esisodwa
& they respond so
respectfully .

grade 03s :
goodmorning miss &
how are you today ?
me : I am very happy
& well , how are you
?

grade 03s : we are

very well thank you
.

me : thank you ; you

may sit down .
they all sat down ;
ah ngzokhalake
mina lezingane
ezihlonipha kangaka
.

me : I am miss
Shandu , I will be
taking you for
english ; your new
english teacher . I
am 24 years of age , I
live in Kwa-Mashu &
I would love to get to
know you all one by
one . we will start on
this side , you will
stand up ; tell me
your name ,
surname , age &
where you live &
then sit down , the
next person will do
that so on & so on .
do you understand
that ?

grade 03s : yesssss .

I sit down & the first
person does that ,
they all do as I said &
when they were all
done I stood up &
started teaching .

me : uh , nice to
meet you guys . I
hope sizobambisana
so you guys could go
to the next grade ,
the senior side are
you excited?

grade 03s : yesssss .

me : okay so today
we going to be
learning about verbs
, who can tell me
what a verb is ?

they raise up their

hands & I point at
one boy by the
corner & he replies
"a verb is a doing
word"

me : very correct ,
can we clap hands
for him ?

awu even the way

they clap has an
order "one two three
, one two three" &
then they stop .
they take a few notes
down & I give them
a small activity , I
think I am enjoying
this teaching thing .

the bell rings .

me : I will see you

tommorow , enjoy
the rest of your day .
"bye miss" I smile
nkoshhh ncoshh .

me : byeee .

insert 08 .
its break time for the
kids , they all make a
line to the tuckshop
& I am standing in
the shade eating
popcorn & I am on
my phone ; scrolling
on instagram &
stalking celebrities .

the school is
separated in 4 flours
, the 2 flours in the
bottom is the junior
area - grade R to
grade 03 and the 2 in
the top is the senior
area - grade 4 to 7 .

2 girls come to
approach me .

me : hi .
they both smile .

girl 1 : Its me
Senamile & this is
Thandeka .

me : oh yes , from 3A
?

they nod .

Senamile : you are

the best teacher .
I giggle ...

me : hawu baby , I
literally started
teaching you today
njena ; how is it
possible that now
I'm the best teacher
?

Thandeka : yes , you

are . you see miss
Modumo , she was
the bad teacher .
she whispers .

me : who is miss
Madumo ?

Senamile : she was

the before teacher .

ienglish yalezingane
iyanghlekisa , they
are really trying & I
just have to bare
with them .

me : oh , how bad
was she ?

they both say "yoo"

at the same time .

Thandeka : all she

did was call us with
names & give us alot
of homework ...
Senamile : she was a
bad teacher & evil .

I laugh awema ,
ingane ezikthanda
kanje ukukhuluma .

me : okay , I won't be
a bad teacher I
promise .
they both look at
each other & they
hug me I nearly
dropped my whole
packet of popcorn .

they apologise & I

tell them its okay .

they walk together

while holding hands
& they share a
packet of chips .
Thando replies from
the text that I sent to
her in the morning "
I am so happy for
you , lets meet ngo 3
egateway today & get
food , anything you
want is on me " . I
heart her text .

the bells rings for

everyone to go back
to class now & I have
a double period in
3C now & then it will
be the second break ,
after that my next
one is on period 3B
then it will be done
for today .

I do the same thing

with 3B & 3C but I
would rate 3A as a
very respectful class
cause u3C
uyahlupha & u3B
bayeyisa kuphela ,
abafuni
ukuphendula
mangbuza & I
believe mina no 3A
sozwana kakhulu .

the bell rings for

afterschool now , I
decide to leave my
things in the
staffroom ; hoping I
will find them here
tommorow .
Its 2:06 pm & I call
Thando to tell her
ukuthi
sengyaphuma
emsebenzini & she
will tell me mase
efikile naye emall .

heading out of the

school gate while on
a call with the uber
driver , remember
Amanda from the
checkers store that
day when I went to
do my hair ? yes her
. she comes towards
me ; I didn't know
she comes to this
school & she actually
greets me .

Amanda : Hi .
me : hey , how are
you babygirl ?
Amanda : I am good ,
I never knew you
are a teacher at my
school . you
remember me right
?

a car hoots ...

me : I only started
today not knowing
you are also a
learner here & yes I
do remember you .

Amanda : I wish you

were my teacher .

me : why ? what
grade are you in ?

a car hoots again ...

Amanda : because
you are beautiful , I
am in grade 2B , mr
Tembe's class . I
have to go now , bye
.

me : wait , Amanda !
Amanda : my aunty
is calling me now .

she points to a white

merc that has been
hooting for a while
so I decided to walk
with Amanda
towards the car
cause yes I want to
see her aunty .

me : hey .

she looks at me &

smiles .

me : buka umhlaba
ukuthi mncane
kangakanani .
she smiles again & I
see a smiley piercing
.

Amanda gets inside

the car .

Amanda's aunty :
saphinda
sahlangana , awusho
you work here ?
me : yea I only
started today
cabanga .

Amanda's sister : is it
? so how was your
first day at work ?

me : it was very
amazing honestly . I
love everything
about it .
she gets out of the
car & takes off her
cap & shades ; she is
wearing a black bum
short & a bikini bra .

Amanda's sister : you

are very pretty , you
really are & I like
pretty girls .

lapho naye muhle ,

ushaya ngethanga
elimhlophe qwa !
she even has a nice
body ; looks like she
is going to the beach
or the pool .

me : thanks , nawe
umuhle nje .

Amanda's sister :
yazi its weird I never
really got your name
.

me : nguWandile ,
nguWandile Shandu
.

she offers a
handshake while our
eyes stare at each
other .
Amanda's sister :
Mandy , Mandisa
Zulu .

she smiles & winks .

hawu yenzani
lentombazane
ingbuka kanje , I am
going to catch
feelings stru .
me : do you fetch
Amanda everyday ?

Mandisa : I don't
know *smiles*
maybe , that
depends , wena do
you work here
everyday ?

me : I don't know ,
maybe .
she laughs & puts
back her cap .

her laugh is cute ,

mayehleka uhleka
u3 seconds & cuts
the laugh with a
smile .

Mandisa : okay
mama , usuyohamba
kahleke .
me : nawe
uhambekahle , bye
bye Amanda .

Amanda : bye miss .

insert 09 .
I can't even stop
smiling , I got to the
mall & texted
Thando to tell her
that she will find me
in Mcdonalds , she
blueticks me & as I
wait for her I get
myself a cold lemon
crusher .

she walks inside &

see's me . she walks
towards me now I
am smiling non stop
cause I can't stop
thinking about
Mandisa .

Thando : mtase ,
wancuma kangaka
yini?
me : you will not
believe .

Thando : ini ?
asambeni so-order .
I stand up & we walk
to the ordering
screen , she orders
double melted
cheese burgars ,
fried chips & drinks
.

Thando : should I
add ?
me : no , kuright
lokho .
we wait for 5
minutes & our order
gets called , we take
the food & go sit
down .

Thando : soooo , tell

me how was your
first day ?

me : haa mtase ,
what a perfect day ...
Thando : mana , did
you just call me
mtase ?

me : uhm yes .

Thando : ngaze
ngajabula cabanga .
uyaqala phela
ukungbiza kanjalo .

me : awukahle ,
ngzosuke
ngingasaphindeke .

Thando : oksalayo
ukwenzile , xoxa
nglalele .

I took her back from

minute to minute of
the day , from me
entering the gate to
me exiting it ; she
couldn't stop smiling
.
Thando : cha
uyajabula ngeke !
abazali bakho
bakubhekile buka
nazi .

she twists both her

pointing finger and
the middle finger .

me : akupheli lapho
oe , I saw her again .
Thando : ubani ?
that girl that I said
you have a crush on
? lowase ...

I nod while smiling .

Thando : haaawu
Wandile !!! did you
talk to her ?

me : yess , yesss . she

complimented me
again & she winked
an eye ; I think I
might see her
everyday cabanga .

Thando : elaborate ,
detail on detail .

me : her niece
Amanda ufunda
kulesiskole
engisebenza kuso , I
think uzomlanda
everyday afterschool
. I got her name ...
uthe uwu Mandisa
Zulu & she drives a
white merc , muhle
loyana , she even has
a smiley piercing ey
Thando mfethu !

she laughs at me for

being crazy obsessed
.
Thando : gimme
your phone ?

I open it & I give it to

her .

me : ufuna
ukwenzani ?
Thando : sshh buka .

she goes to my
instagram &
searches "Mandisa
Zulu" , on my top
search & she goes to
her profile & then
hands me the phone
.

Thando : aksi wuye

lo ?

yo lona , she is on
22.2K followers &
following only 8
people . she takes
nice pictures & I
check her story , she
posted the beach &
captioned "my
happy place" , I
scrolled down to see
her pictures , her
last post was
28minutes ago ,
taking pictures at the
beach on the same
outfit that I saw her
on today ...
her bio :
mageba , mntwana .
(heart emojie) .
(the rainbow emojie
of LGBTQ) .
a date 06 march . (a
balloon emojie) .

me : hawu Thando
uyena . buka mfethu
lomuntu , cela
umbuke .
Thando : haa , muhle
ngampela . mana
ilokhu abekugqokile
today ?

me : yess , should I
follow her ?
Thando : no , don't as
yet . naye
mayehlakaniphile
naye she will search
for your instagram .
me : you think so ?
Thando : yes , you on
4k followers right ?
me : yes .

Thando : its not bad ,

let me see ?

I give her the phone ,

its really not bad . I
only started
instagram last year
june & I gained alot
of followers from the
customers at
starbucks , I only
have 6 posts , my last
post was on that day
when I did my hair .

Thando : asqede
ukudla ngikshuthe la
ngaphandle , vele
your outfit is nice ;
lets play tricks kulo
Mandisa wakho .
me : okay
sowenzakanjani ?

Thando :
ngzokushutha
outside the
mcdonald sign &
then upost nawe
ukuthi "my happy
place" , kuright
lokho ?

I laugh while
chewing the fried
chips , iyanghlekisa
lentombazane
ngzobindeka yazi .

me : yea kuright .

we finished eating &

we went outside , I
have an iphone XR
by the way ; this is
the best iphone ever
made , even the
quality of my
pictures is always on
top .

Thando takes 70+

pictures for me to
choose on 4 that I
really like ... I
quickly upload &
tagg Thando as well ,
"my happy place" .

we then walk to total

sport & Thando buys
me a black hoodie
from the north face ,
we walk again to
some pakistan shop
& she gets me a new
phone case , it an
garfield orange case
& now its all cute
cause it matches
her's now . I was so
grateful for
everything she did
for me today .
my day was perfect ,
it was the best day
I've had in a very
long time .

we got an uber & we

went home , tired as
hell . its a few
minutes to 6pm ,
why are my legs so
painful but its fine
cause atleast I am
not going to work
tommorow .
I take off my shoes &
head to the
bathroom , I really
needed to pee .

Thando : should I
cook ?
me : nooo , ngsuthi
mina .

I wash my hands &

flush the toilet , I
walk to the kitchen
& I take an apple
from the fridge .

me : ungapheki ,
uzophekani ?
Thando : spagetti
maybe .

me : ngisuthi mina &

vele ngyolala kodwa
ngzovuka noma ngo
11 .
Thando : ay mina
angsuthangake . I
will make toast &
wena uzoyibona
udla ini masuvuka .

I can hear that my

phone is ringing
kodwa angiyazi
ukuthi ikuphi . I
think I left it in the
bathroom .
Thando : hamba
uyoyibamba , it
could be her .

I smile cause thats

impossible phela , I
go to the bathroom
sink & I find my bag
there oh now I
remember its inside
.
- 2 missed group
video calls .

I check the video

calls I missed & I see
ukuthi its Amo &
Bongeka , both my
friends .

I call them back &

they answer while I
switch off my
camera .
[ video call ]
Bongeka : Wandi
chommie .
me : hi yall .
Amo : wena Wandi
njalo awusasfuni .

me : no its not that

angsanifuna yazi ,
ngiyanifuna ukuthi
iskhathi angsanaso .
I have alot on my
plate , I am sorry .
Bongeka : usho
phela mase usi cutte
off khona sokwazi
nathi ukuzikhipha
kuwe .

me : no guys , I didn't
cut you off .

yo my friends can be
so rude sometimes ,
Bongeka yena talks
to much & its not
ukuthi I have cut
them off but I might
have been distancing
myself from them ,
kunini nje
ngabagcina .

Amo : siyezake kuwe

ksasa .
me : no ksasa I have
plans .
Amo & Bongeka :
WHAT PLANS ??
I take a deep breath
& I think of a lie that
will just let them
leave me alone .

me : I have a date .

Amo : unamanga !

Bongeka : really
chomzaa ?
me : yea I am serious
.

Amo : please say its a

guy , please .

me : its a guy .

Bongeka : go prepare
your outfit
asingakuphazamisi ,
sokufonela ksasa
usubuya khona .
me : okay besties ,
byee .

I end the call &

kwangcono ! I knew
that would get them
off my shoulders .
after I dropped the
call , 2 notifications
popped in & I went
to look whats in ?

notifications
- Mandisa Zulu
started following
you .
- Mandisa Zulu liked
your post .

I ran to Thando ...

me : buka !
awemaaa

I am moving ,
jumping while trying
to show Thando but
I know she can't see
properly because I
am moving .

Thando : angboni
phela musa
ukunyakaza .
she reads & also
starts jumping , ay
ngeke siyahlanya
thina hawe ma .

me : should I follow
her back ?
Thando : usabuza ?

I go to her profile & I

followed her back ,
she probably wants
to be friends .
its the end of the day
, Thando makes
spaggetti &
meatballs for her to
eat . I go & shower ,
my body is heavily
tired so I slept
planning to wake up
at 11 but I guess I
was too tired .
insert 10 .

Its 7:32 pm on a
Sunday , I just
finished ironing my
clothes for work
tommorow so I help
Thando cook , we eat
supper & we both go
to our bedrooms
after that .

I called my friends
so I could lie to them
about the fake date
with a guy .

whatsapp voice call

>>>
Bongeka : yess girl ,
tell us about the date
izolo ? how was it .

Amo : iza nazo .

me : guys it was bad

, ngidalelwe isketi
mina . loyamfana
wabantu uberight ,
ubehlekisa futhi
unemali kodwa
angfuni lutho kuye ,
uyangbhora nje .
Amo : hawu unemali
? chommie mthathe .

Bongeka : aphelile
amadoda
ngaphandle oe
mthathe .

me : angimfuni ,
nani nibonileke guys
ngizamile kodwa
akyenzeki . mangiba
nentombi any time
soon cela
ningangigxeki
ngyacela .

Bongeka : ngnike
inumber yakhe mina
ngimthathe , ayikho
lento yakho wena
Wa .

we spoke & ended

the call .
I took my phone off
the charger & I
connect my phone to
my earpods to play
my spotify playlist &
I think thats when I
slept with my
earpods on .
the following day .

its Monday morning

, I make my bed & go
and bath . I wore my
black jean & the
hoodie Thando got
for me on Friday ,
with my nike tekkies
. I think my outfit
looks nice , I brush
my hair neatly &
apply some gel for
edges to look extra
good . I also apply
layers & layers of lip
therapy . where is
my phone ? , oh its
on 23% , I took my
charger with me ,
put my money ,
charger , phone &
wallet in my small
handbag & I called
an uber .
a few minutes later ,
I hear a car hoot .

me : bye Thando .
Thando : have a nice
day mtase .

I left her eating

cornflakes & I get
inside the car .

.....
I get to work a bit
later then the
previous time , I pay
for my trip & head to
the staffroom . I
great the other
teachers & I see that
my stuff is still here .

I look for a plug so I

could charge phone
in it & great I find it
with an adapter
which I forgot to
bring , the bell rings
; all kids & teachers
head to the assembly
while I stayed
behind .

I looked for my
timetable & saw that
I have a double
period in 3A , again
afterbreak in 3B &
3C .
after some time the
teachers came back I
think that means the
assembly is over
now , the bells rings
for the periods to
start & I head to my
favourite class so far
, 3A which is
upstairs . this is me
walking in & they all
move to their places
& stand up to greet .
me : goodmorning
class .

same process , they

greet well & I let
them sit down . I
remember I gave
them a bit of class
work on friday .

me : we all
completed the
classwork right ?
grade 03s : yes .

I check & start

signing their books ,
I finally notice those
2 girls that came to
me on friday & they
are sitting together
in their desk .

me : hey girls .

they both smile .

Senamile : you look
beautiful today .
me : thank you , you
look beautiful too .

I smile & start

teaching more about
conjuctions & how
they can be used in
sentences , I am
getting good @ this
teaching thing .
after some time , the
bell rings meaning
the first period is
finished & then I
give them a few
sentences for them
to combine with
conjuctions , I am
pretty happy that
most of them are
getting it right
meaning I am
understandable .
...

its 2 : 00 pm , school
is out now , I quickly
go & use the toilet ,
finished my business
& then called an
uber .
as I was leaving
towards the gate , I
see by the school
ground ; some kids
are playing soccer ,
netball , vollyball & I
think the other sport
is athletics .

I get to the gate & I

see Mandisa's car
isadaksuka , like if I
got here 2 seconds
earlier bengzoyifica
but it just left & I see
Amanda walking
again towards the
school gate .

me : Amanda ?

I walk to her .

Amanda : yes miss .

me : wasn't that
Mandisa ?
Amanda : it was , she
was coming to fetch
me then I told that I
am practising
netball today and
she will come again
at half pass 3 .

me : ohh , you play

netball everyday
afterschool or only
on chosen days ?
Amanda : mondays
to wednesdays , we
are only starting
today .

me : okay , bye then

.
Amanda : byee .

she gets back inside

the school while I
wait for my uber ,
one of the male
teachers comes out
of the gate with his
black audi , he stops
closer to me & opens
his window .

him : hey you ,

waiting for someone
?
me : yea kind of .
him : whose the
lucky guy ?

I look at him .
me : what makes you
think its a guy ?
him : why would it
be a girl umuhle
kanje ?

me : okay .

he laughs & drives

off .
my uber gets here &
I get inside , its
always a female
driving for me ; I
always make sure I
get a lady , I know
why .

I get home & pay for

my trip , I open the
gate , I can't find my
key for the door .
ohh its in my pocket
, I open and get
inside .

Thando is not home ,

I make some durban
curry noodles & I sit
in my room so I
could start stalking
Mandisa again .

today she posted

something on her
story . its the beach
again & she plays the
song "yebba's
heartbreak - yebba ft
drake " .

I react to that with a

heart & I turn on the
notify button to alert
me everything she
posts on her story , a
reel or a post .
2 hours have passed
now , Thando is also
back & she brought
us pie ; steak &
kidney - the best pie
ever made .

we ate our pies & we

were just catching
up , she told me her
man will be in town
in a few days & how
excited she is to see
him .

Thando : he will be
here for 4 days only
though . I don't care
as long as I will be
on his arms .

me : I am really
scared of ever trying
this long distance
thing , you know
how impatience I am
& now imagine
having to miss
someone so bad &
you can't see them ,
ay ngeke .

Thando : ngaktshela
ukuthi asfani
singabantu , into
oyiyo uyiyo , nami
engiyikho ngiyikho .

me : have you guys

started having ?
Thando : no , I was
planning to actually
do it this time
around though .

me & Thando are

still virgins by the
way , this is her first
seriouse relationship
& I am scared but at
the same time happy
for her . its cute to
see her happy &
inlove but its also so
scary , I am scared
this guy might break
her hurt & I am not
good when it comes
to cheering people
up , I suck , alot .

me : yessss wena girl

!

I boost her
confidence alot
when I say this , sex
is a big thing ; losing
your virginity nje is
huge & I know how
she feels about it .

she smiles .

Thando : & then .

you and Mandisa ?

me : hawu mfethu
loyana ,
angimbonanga today
, yazi I missed her
with 2 seconds
ngoba ngthe ngithi
ngphuma naye
ubesadaksuka
kwiparking lot ,
uyayidonsisa engabe
uyangshela
ngimvume . sqede
lento ibe umshado .

Thando laughs so
loud .
me : musa ukuhleka
mfethu ngiserious .
I'm not going to lie , I
wanted to see her so
bad & I do want a
relationship with
her inkinga I am
scared to text , make
a move or anything
like that .

Thando : hawu
ibhadi elingaka ,
namanje
anikatext.ani ?

me : no .

Thando : you want

her to text first ?

me : no , maybe .

Thando : ihheee
kantike uyahlanya ,
tholukuthi naye she
wants you to text
first .

me : anghlanyi
ukuthi angazi
ngzoqala ngithini
kuye mina , nawe
uyazi ngyabheda
mina .

Thando : kodwa
nibadala for such ,
letha iphone yakho
& let me help you .
I gave her my phone
& she unlocked it ...

me : hawu , uyivule
kanjani ?

Thando : I know you

.
me : you know me
kanjani manje , eh
eh Thando
usugqekeza ama
iphone manje wena
.

she laughs .

Thando : its your

fingerprint or the
password
"starbucks" cause I
know how much you
loved your previous
job nje .
she really knows me
but I just think she
saw me unlock me
one day .

me : okay yenzake
into obufuna
ukuyenza kodwa
before you send the
message
ungikhombise kqala
.
she comes sits next
me , angithi we were
sitting facing each
other & now she
moves closer so I can
also see .

she starts typing :

"hi , hudn ?"

me : nooo , no noo
hudn?? please type
in full , I find this
very unattractive .

" hi how you

doing?"

she sends it & we

wait for about 6
seconds & Mandisa
also starts typing ,
we look at each
other with our big
eyes ...
me : phuma ku
inbox , angfuni
acathi I was waiting
for her message .

Thando : kodwa nje

vele umlindile .
me : phuma Thando
.

she leaves the chat &

Mandisa replies "I'm
good baeb how are
you ? (red heart
emojie) ."

I melt for the "baeb"

.

Thando : see ?
simple . now take
here , ungamoshike
njalo usubheda .

me : no ungangshiyi
, ngzotype.a nawe la
.

chat :

me : I am also okay I
guess .

Mandisa : Its now

weird cause I don't
know what to say ,
do you want to say
something ?
me : no ,
bengikubingelela nje
.

Thando : ay ayyy ,
usuyabhedake .
me : bekumele
ngithini ?
.....

Mandisa : oh ,
ngiyabonga . can I
call you okungcono?

me : yea actually , I
do want to say
something .

she calls me & I

answer .
me : hello .

Mandisa : yes , you

said you wanted to
say something .

me : yindaba
ukhuluma kanjena ,
ngathi khona into
ekucasulike nje .

Mandisa : lutho , I
am just a horrible
texter & I fail to use
emojies sometimes
thats why I decided
to call . ngyaxolisa .

me : okay , uhm
bengithi mina I was
hoping we could be
friends maybe , I
don't have alot of
friends .

Mandisa : really ?
she laughs .
me : ehhe , cela
ungahleki phela .

Mandisa : anghleki
wena .

she does that dumb

tiktok sound of
somizi saying "haa
haa ; angihleki
wena" & then me ,
her & Thando all
laugh really loud
cause naye
uyazibona ukuthi
uyaboza kodwa
cause kusho yena
sengyahleka .

Mandisa : yea , we
could be friends . I
can be your girl &
you will be mine .

me : okay uhm
should I say thank
you ?
Mandisa : no hawu ,
its a mutual
agreement
ungabongi lutho .

me : okay ,
ngyabonga .

I laughed cause I
didn't mean to say
thank you , kuvele
kwazenzakela nje .
Mandisa : lets meet
tommorow maybe .
me : okay at what
time ?

Mandisa : half 4
cause I have to fetch
Amanda at half past
3 tommorow
afterschool & then I
will drop her here at
home then we could
go to gateway or
something .

me : sounds fine to
me .

Mandisa : then its all

good , sokhulumake
.

me : okay , byee .

Mandisa : bye .
we both dropped the
call at the same time
.
MANDISA's POV .

I am sitting in the
dinning room , my
mom is not back
from work & its still
8:33pm .

me : Amanda !

she comes to me
with holding tight to
her big barbie doll .

me : do you want
popcorn ?
Amanda : yes &
please make some
for Mellisa cause she
didn't eat this whole
day .

Mellisa is what she

named her barbie
doll , she loves this
doll so much & I find
it cute sengaze
ngajwayela nje
ukuthi mangenza
into edliwayo
ngenzele noMellisa
wakhe ...

oh I haven't
introduced myself
did I ?

I'm Zulu Mandisa ,

25 years of age . I am
doing my last year in
medicine in the
UKZN .

I own a white merc

benz that I got on my
21st birthday
(umemulo) as a gift
from my parents
cause I apparently
made them proud . I
live in Hennysview ,
a house eseMlazi .
I have an older sister
uNtwenhle (26years)
but we both look
alike you could even
think we are twins .
she works in a very
famous fancy
resturant as a side
job & then sells some
make ups & face
products .
uNtwenhle has a
daughter ; Amanda
my niece , I love
Amanda as my own
& I know she will
grow up to be just as
pretty as her aunt
(me) .

we all live together

with mom ( 55years )
, she is a matron at
the Gateway hospital
& owns a range
rover . my family is
not that big cause
after dads funeral , I
remember all the
people from his side
turned their backs
on us .

I am lesbian , I date
women . I just find
women so amazing
& beautiful ; I can't
be the one to be
straight .
Its now 09:03 pm ,
mom will be back
maybe in an hour & I
am in the kitchen
with Amanda &
Mellisa , we are
making popcorn &
ready to watch any
movie , Ntwenhle
left for work an hour
ago .
the popcorn is all
ready , I look for a
movie that Amanda
would also like . I
quickly find movie
"repunzel" & we sit
in the ouch & started
watching the movie
.

09:32 pm ...
09:52 pm ...

mom knocks & walks

in , she greets & I
respond so thats
when I realised
ukuthi uAmanda
usezumekile . I
carried her with her
doll & placed her in
her bed ,
ngambhathisa & I
kissed her forehead
... "goodnight baby" I
said to her & she
opens her eyes ; I
knew she wasn't
sleeping .

Amanda : goodnight
mom .

sometimes she calls

me "mom number
2" sometimes I'm
"Mandisa" &
sometimes I'm
"aunty" it depends
on her mood .

I smile & I walk out

her room , I go back
to my movie &
popcorn & I find
mom chawing my
popcorn like crazy .

me : kodwa mama .
mom : ey ngilambe
kabi kabi .

me : dlanake ukudla
phela , angeke
ukusuthise
upopcorn .

mom : uphekile ?

me : upopcorn
angeke ukusuthise .
mom : uphekile na ?

me : chaabo kodwa
nje .

mom : ngiyekake .

I laugh . I take my
phone in the table ...
me : goodnightike
ma .
mom : hamba
uyolala .

I walked upstairs to
my room , maybe I
am tired today yazi .
I took a quick
shower & I went to
bed ... now its a bit
cold ,
sengisengubweni &
ngimbathile . my
phone is on 41% , its
fine I will go to
instagram &
whatsapp mase
ngyalalake .

I find a notification
on my insta .
- wandile added a
new story .
- sammie k started
following you .
- alwande liked your
post .
- lwandie started
following you .

+ 12 .

I get like 20 to 30
new followers
everyday , slowing
starting to be
instagram famous
with my 22K
followers .
I went to see
Wandile story , this
girl is beautiful . I
can't believe she
wants to be friends
with me ; looking at
her nje gives me so
many goosebumps is
it possible for a
person to look this
gorgous ?
I heart her story &
then I went to
whatsapp , a few
messages from my
friends but I ignore
them & I sleep , vele
I have a date
tommorow .
Insert 11 .
a few days later .
WANDILE's POV .
today is friday , I
wake up & went to
take a quick shower ;
"a very goodmorning
to you Thandooooo"
I sing all the way in
the passage & she
replies .

Thando : ihheee ,
someones in a good
mood !
me : kuyabonakala
yini ngalapho ukuthi
I am 1 step closer to
finally being
Mandisa girlfriend ?

Thando :
unaaaamanga wena
!
me : no bengbuza
ukuthi
kuyabonakala yini
ngalapho ?
she laughs with me .

Thando : xoxa .

me : no , ngzoba late
& today ?
unganglindi
ngzobuya ebsuku
ngampelake .

Thando : ayibo oe
awusapaphi !
me : kodwa vele
ngyaphapha , I mean
its been only 6 days
of talking & we
metup only once &
she took me on a
icecream date , we
continued talking &
lastnight we were
talking & today we
are going out again .
angyona yini ibhoza
Thando?
Thando : uyiyo kanje
.

she hypes me up .
me : I really think I
am ready to tell her
how I actually feel
about her .

Thando : are you

sure babe ?
me : sbindi
uyabulala .

....
me & Thando :
sbindi uyaphilisa .

we both laugh again

, into engahlekisi
mina noThando
iyasihlekisa yazi .
I brush my hair after
that & I called an
uber & went straight
to work .

today I am wearing a
very nice dress , its
not very short
kodwa futhi its not
long , its 3 fingers
above my knee ; its
dusty pink & I am
also wearing a black
mini jacket with my
black & white vans .

I get to school &

assembly as always ,
kids walk back to
class & I have a free
period on the first
period .

I didn't eat today in

the morning so I go
to the tuckshop & I
buy an energy drink
& pie , I go and sit in
the staffroom alone
& I start chawing .

The principal walks

in & greets .

me : morning sir .
principal : uyaphila
ngane yami ?
me : yes sir , how are
you ?
principal : nami
ngyaphila ,
bakuphethe kahle
kodwa la abanye
othisha ?

me : kakhulu .

principal :
makukhona nje
okunika inkinga ,
ungazise
ngiyaxoshana phela
.

he is still the same

old dramatic funny
man .

me : khululeka .

he takes a few books

& leaves I think to
his office .
It is a very
comfortable zone
here , I take my
phone in my bag as
it kept on vibrating .

Its 2 messages from

Mandisa .

[ chat ]
Mandisa : hey , I am
in class ...
it rang a bell ukuthi
konje she is still in
varsity .

Mandisa : hey , I am
in class . I wanted to
ask , you still haven't
changed your mind
right ?

I blush & I take a sip

from my drink .
me : yes , we are still
on . funda lapho
uyeke iphone
usuyoze ufail.e
ucabangana nami .

Mandisa : uba
obethe
ngyakucabanga , yes
ngyakcabanga
kodwa kusho ubani
?
I reacted "haha" on
her text .

me : uyaphapha yazi
, ngsayofundisa
ingane . I will text
you during break .
have a nice day .

I switch off my
phone & the bell
rings for period 2 . I
go to the class I have
to be in & I start
teaching .

break time .
I am standing by the
stairs on my phone
& that other teacher ,
I forget his surname
but that cheeky one
nje . come towards
me .

him : wancuma
wedwa nje ,
ukhuluma nobani
lapho ?

I switch off my
phone as he comes
towards to see who I
am talking to .
me : ube ukade
ungenaphi njalo
wena ?
him : uyathanda
ukungphoxa yazi .

me : ukuthi
uphaphile nje nawe ,
too much .

him : cela
ukuk'khipha . soya
noma yikuphi la
othanda khona .
I look at him & he
smiles . I then leave
him hanging . yazi
umuntu engayboni
noma esenescefe nje
.
its after school & I
quickly walk to the
gate & I see her
standing with
another girl , from a
distance they look
alike ; same height ,
same body structure
just different
hairstlyes .

I stand by the gate

looking the both of
them from a
distance but I don't
think they can see
me .

I see Amanda
running towards the
both of them & first
hugs the other lady ,
Mandisa looks at my
side & she waves
calling me to come . I
slowly walk & so she
also comes towards
me .

me : uyaphila ?
I scretch my hair
even though there is
no itch .

Mandisa : ngright ,
woza .

she holds my hand

and we both walk to
her car while
Amanda is still
talking to this other
lady .

Mandisa : Ntwenhle ,
this is her & Wandile
this is Ntwenhle my
older sister who is
Amanda's mom .

me : hi .
amahloni kimi
sengingakwazi
ukubahlukanisa
labantu ngendlela
abafana ngayo , yazi
sengbona
ngehairstyle nje
cause loNtwenhle
uluke ama knotless
braids & uMandisa
ubophe igoda .

Ntwenhle : unjani ?
she looks at Mandisa
& says "muhle
cabanga" .

I smile .
Mandisa : I know
right ?

me : ngyaphila .

Mandisa :
kulungileke ,
ngzonibona endlini .
ninganglindi kodwa
futhi ningangvaleli .

Ntwenhle : have fun

ne ?

Amanda & her mom

, they both get inside
another car while
Mandisa opens the
door for me & we get
inside hers .
Mandisa : awuthi ...
fasa ilontuza .

I look at her .

me : ini ?

she stares at me .
Mandisa : your
thingie ...
she is still starring at
me .
I show a confused
face ?

Mandisa : ibhande
lakho , ubuhle bakho
abufuni
ukujwayeleka yazi
ngeke .

me : hawu , okahle
kanti yinike manje ?
I blush and she
laughs .

Mandisa : no
ngiserious . ngisho
uxakekile still nje
umuhle , angazi
noma ihhaba ?

me : ihhaba nje
onalo .
she starts the car &
then drives .

she connects to the

speaker & plays
"blaq diamond -
qoma" , yoo my song
.

me : I love this song

cabanga .
Mandisa : hawu
nami cabanga ,
yazini ? I am
dedicating it to you .

I break a small laugh

& she keeps quiet .

I look at her after 2

seconds & she has a
serious face .
me : userious kanti
?
Mandisa : yea .
me : oh no ,
ngyaxolisa ukuhleka
.

Mandisa : "awuqome
ntombi kunini mina
nglala ngedwa ? oh
sweet my love .
nasekhaya
bayojabula
mabekbona ntombi ,
sthandwa sami"

me : ngshela ngbo
ukuthi userious
kangakanani .

Mandisa : kuthiwani
, dudlu ntombi
something
something .

I laugh so loud ...

me : qhubeka phela
.

Mandisa :
sengikuculele kahle
kanjena .

me : shela phela
ngbo .

Mandisa : angikwazi
mina ukushela ,
wena awufuni yini
ukuba intombi yami
?

me : ngyafuna .

she looks at me .
Mandisa : angdlali
yazi .

me : nami angdlali
nje .

she smiles .
I don't think she is
serious though , we
finally get to the mall
.

me : can I please use

the bathroom ?
Mandisa : yea I will
wait for you here .

I pay my R5 to get
inside , I do my
business & I finally
get out .

me : I hope I didn't
make you wait .

Mandisa : you did .

me : hawu kahle .

Mandisa : ngyadlala ,
siyaphike ?
me : angazi . I'm just
a bit nervous
cabanga .

Mandisa : shono
mina ngzozwa
ngawe , chabo
ungayenzi leyonto
yoku tatazela
ngyakcela .

me : ngyaxolisa ,
ukuthi angazi
nokuthi ngithini .

Mandisa :
ngbhekake
emehlweni
ungtshele yonkinto
oyicabangayo right
now .

me : ngikbheke
emehlweni ?
Mandisa : yea ,
ucabangani ?

lentombazane
iyahlanya yazi ,
ayiboni ukuthi
siphambi kwabantu .

I look at her , what

am I thinking vele .
she is so perfect nje
mina angazi
ngzothini kuye .
me : ngiyacabanga
nje ukuthi umuhle .

Mandisa : mmh ,
qhubeka ?

me : angazi , wena
ucabangani ngoba
ungbuka .

Mandisa : nami
ngicabanga ukuthi
umuhle ,
ngyacabanga
nokuthi ngifuna
ngampela
ubengowami ,
ngicabanga izinto
eyningi nje nokuthi
ukhona yini
loyomuntu futhi
uwubani lothandana
nawe .

me : nawe umuhle
nje mageba , futhi
chabo akekho
umuntu
engithandana naye .

Mandisa : ngisho
ngabe ukhona ,
umuntu uthatha
emntwini wakhe .

I smile & blush while

closing my eyes .

Mandisa : cha ,
amehlo ungawavali .
bengithe bheka
ngala ubuke mina .

me : ngyaxolisa ,
angeke
ngsawavalake .
awungazi nje
nokungazi Mandisa ,
yini ekwenza ukuthi
ufuna ngibe owakho
?

she holds my hand &

we walk while
talking .

Mandisa :
ngizokwazi nje ,
nawe awungazi
kodwa ngyazi
uyafuna ngibe
owakho .
akunankinga
mawufuna
ukuyidonsisa , into
mangyifuna
ekugcineni
ngyayithola .
hawe yaze
yangichaza
lentombazane .
inkinga manje
angfuni ukuyvuma
manje manje ,
kumele ngyifukuzise
kancane ngoba nayo
ngyayibona ukuthi
ayizibekile phansi .

Mandisa : uthinike
ngalokho sthandwa
sami ?

me : ngithini ngani
manje ?

Mandisa :
usungowami noma ?

me : noma ini ?

she laughs & I also

laugh .
Mandisa : noma
ufuna ukubona
ukuthi ngyafuna
ukuthi ube ngowami
?

my phone rings , I
take it out its
"Thando roomie".

I look at Mandisa .
me : can I answer
this .
Mandisa :
ungaybambi .

me : it could be
important .
Mandisa :
ungaybambi .

ayibo sis , ayibo .

nobody meets me
now & starts telling
me what to do ,
kodwa ngoba uwena
its fine , uThando
will wait .

me : okay .
I switch it off .

Mandisa : asambeni
.
me : siyaphi .
Mandisa : at my
happy place .

me : where is your
happy place ?
Mandisa : olwandle .

my outfit doesn't
even match the
beach .

me : ngoba nginjena
nje ?
Mandisa : kuright
nje .

me : uzosho njalo
phela ngoba wena
ugqoke kahle .

she is wearing a
black baggy upper
knee jean short & a
white baggy t-shirt
with black puma
tekkies .
me : okay asambeni
.

we get icecream &

we walk back to the
car , she starts
driving & she
connects her phone
to the speaker &
plays different love
songs .
she starts vibing to
the song , I like the
song too ; she plays
next "azana lovers &
bestfriend" ...

we are quiet in the

car no one is talking
, I can't stop starring
at her though .

she finally parks &

takes her phone , she
has an iphone 11 by
the way . she also
takes her keys .

we both get out of

the car & she goes to
her boot , she takes
out 2 big towels & 2
plastics from
woolworths ; I had
no idea she brought
all this .

Mandisa :
congbambela la .
I take 1 plastic & she
hold the towels & the
other plastic .

Mandisa : hamba
phambili .

me : chabo ,
asambisani .

Mandisa : ngfuna
ukubona izinqa nje .
we both laugh , awu
guys no . why is her
personality like this
though , it matches
her vibe , herself nje
yena is goddamn
perfect .

me : ziphi lezozinqa
congikhombisa .

Mandisa : hamba
phambili wena mina
ngyazibona .

me : hawe Mandisa
unescefe yezwa .

unescefe serious ,
umuntu ekuhlekise
ngisho ungathandi
ukuhleka .

Mandisa : hawu
sengnescefe futhi ?
me : chabo awunaso
.

I walk infront of her

& I kept turning my
back to see if she is
starring at my nyash
.

we get to the clear

sand & she lays the
towels neatly & tells
me to sit down while
she puts down the
snacks , its more like
a picnic beachdate &
I think its cute that
she did all this for
me not knowing if I
will even agree to go
to the beach .

she bought icecream

, chocolates , roché ,
dorito's , lays ,
yogurts , sour sweets
& black forest
chocolate cakeee
with 2 spoons .

me : unehhaba yazi
kodwa .

Mandisa :
ngnehhaba ngani ?
dlana ukudla
ungangtsheli ukuthi
nginehhaba .
me : no mana , elani
ikhekhe ?

Mandisa : to
celebrate our first
day dating .

me : haawe ma
yewena ntombazane
. ubuwazi ngani
ukuthi ngzovuma ?
Mandisa :
bengizithemba .

I laugh at her & she

hands me the spoon .

she also sits down &

folds her legs , yo &
her thighs are so
fresh .

Mandisa : tell me
more about yourself
.

me : okay , I'm
Shandu Wandile
Zenathi , I am 24
years of age , you
already know where
I work , I can be a
very harsh person
sometimes , I have
anger issues &
ngyashesha
ngampela
ukucasuka , ay
angazike okunye ;
ask me anything you
want to know & I
will answer .

Mandisa : okay ,
nguMandisa Slindile
Zulu . I am 25 years
of age & doing my
last year in UKZN ,
nawe you know I am
studying medicine . I
can be quiet toxic
sometimes but I am
quick to see when
I'm wrong & I make
sure I right my
wrongs .

njengoba
besengishilo , into
mangyifuna
ngyayithola . well
ubonile ukuthi I
have a sister ,
uAmanda is my
niece ; my sisters
daughter . my
birthday is on the
6th of march ,
ngumuntu wabantu
man & when I love
someone , I just
really want to make
sure they feel loved ;
which is why I want
you . can you be the
girl that I want to
love .

me : I can be .
Mandisa : you want
to be ?

me : yes I want to .
Mandisa : so
uyangiqoma ?

me : ehhe
ngyakuqoma .
Mandisa :
usungowami ?
me : ehhe , hawu
nkosiyami , yebo
sengingowakho
manje .

Mandisa :
wozongiqabula la
ngbone .
me : yindaba ungezi
wena ?

obviously we at the
beach so kunamehlo
amaningi la but I
don't mind kissing
her .

Mandisa : ufuna
kuze mina ?
me : no ,
ngzokuqabula ay
manje . angikakabi
ready .

she busted into

laughter , I can't
believe I just made
her laugh like that .
me : ngyadlala
ngzokuqabula
emotweni , labantu
abalana bazolokhu
besbuka .

Mandisa : woz'ohlala
la eduze kwami
soshutha .

me : uyakthanda
ukushutha ?
I stood up & went to
sit next to her , she
also smells very nice
.

me : hawe unuka
kamnandi cabanga .
Mandisa : wena futhi
?

me : ehhe , futhi
uyangichaza .
Mandisa : wena na ?

unescefe ngalento
ayishoyo .

me : ngicela
ungadlali ngami .
ngyakcela .

Mandisa :
uzongenzani
mangidlala ngawe ?
me : hawu
uyazibonake ukuthi
unjani .

Mandisa : ngyadlala ,
ngyazidlalela baby .
buka buka buka
esinye isthandwa
sami lapha ...

she points to the sea

waves , its was a
very big wave & it
had its "wow"
moment .

me : you really like

the beach ?
Mandisa : I love the
beach .

I look at her .
me : asishuthenike .

we take selfies &

videos of her kissing
my forehead , we
use funny instagram
filters & she takes
pictures of me .

its now 4:38pm , I

switch on my phone
& I sent Thando a
message telling her
that I will talk to her
when I get home .

Mandisa : usho
masufuna sihambe .
me : okay .

Mandisa : nawe
uhlala nabazali
bakho ?

me : cha , nghlala
noThando .
Mandisa : akuphi
ama parents in-laws
ami ?
me : they passed
away , 3 years ago in
a car accident .

Mandisa : oh , I am
so sorry . ngyaxolisa
I had no idea ,
ngyax....

me : please relax ,
sekwadlula phela
futhi nami I healed
& accepted the
whole situation , so
akunankinga .

Mandisa : come lets

go .
me : kuphi ?
Mandisa : emanzini ,
sukuma asambe .

I take off my shoes &

socks .
she pulls my hand &
we both ran to the
beach .

she holds the palm

of my hand & we
both put our feet &
we wait for the wave
& she makes a video
in slo motion &
shows hands holding
each other & our
toes .
I think she is an
aesthetic person ,
she loves the camera
& she knows how to
make a person feel
comfortable about
anything nje in
general .

she starts another

video recording me .

Mandisa : umuhle
yezwa ?
me : okwesngaki nje
ungtshela ?

I blush .

Mandisa :
ngisazokutshela
futhi angeke
ngikhathale .
ngyakuthanda futhi
yezwa ?
I laugh and blush ...
me : no stop
recording ,
ngyakthanda nami .

Mandisa : "noo stop

recording" hawu sis
.

she imitates me &

then ends the video .
I hug her , hoping
me & her will last .
she might be the
person I want to
spend the rest of my
live with .

Insert 12 .
we pack everything
& we head to the car
. we put the things in
the boot & she opens
the door for me . I
get inside & she also
gets inside .

me : now I can kiss

you .

Mandisa : angfuni
ungiqabule nghleli ,
ngfuna sime
sobawu2 .
ngikbamba izinqa
mase
ngyakuqabulake .

me : uvele ukhulume
into engasile nje
wena .

Mandisa : ayisile
kanjani manje ? fasa
ibhande .
me : ay ayisile nje
ngyaktshela mina .

she starts the car &

starts to drive .

Mandisa : am I
taking you home or
you want us to go
the mall ?
me : siyowenzani
emall kqala ?

Mandisa : anything
you want .
me : lets get
mcdonalds then you
will drop me there ;
then I will get an
uber .

Mandisa : uyahlanya
.
me : ngihlanya ngani
manje ?

Mandisa : intombi
yakho inemoto wena
ungtshela ukuthi
you will call an uber
.

me : kanti kunani ?
uzohlezi ukhona yini
?
Mandisa : yea ,
ngzohleli ngikhona .
we will get your
mcdonalds & then I
will take you home .

me : hawu cha
uyangthandake bo .
Mandisa : kakhulu
futhi .
she connects to the
radio & plays
"yebbas heartbreak
by drake & yebba" .

its quiet in the car , I

think I am starting to
feel nervous when I
am with her .

"show my love for

you "
Mandisa : can I
showwww my love
for youu ?

I smile & I look at

her .

Mandisa : then say I

dooo , I dooo , I dooo
.
me : I dooo , I doo , I
dooo .

Mandisa : you
mayyyy not know
right where you
going but ; I doo , I
doo , I doo .

us : & all the times

you wasn't chosen &
I'll make it up to you
!
Mandisa : & all the
feelings you not
showing , when your
river is overflowing
!

me : its the truth , I

swear to you .

"I do , I do , I do , I do
& all that you are I
do"
we sing the song ,
seems that we enjoy
the same type of
music .

she drives & we get

to the Mcdonalds
drive thru , she gets
3 both big macs &
fanta drinks .
me : the third meal ?
Mandisa : you live
with someone right ?

hawu , unenhliziyo
enhle ubaby .

me : yea , kodwa
bengingacabangi
ukuthi ...
Mandisa : ukuthini ?
ukuthi
ngingamthengela .

me : no , ay lokho .
yazini yekela .

Mandisa : no
khuluma
ubungacabangi ini?

me : ay , ngthe
yekela .
vede
bengingacabangi
ukuthi naye
engamthengela .

Mandisa : should I
take my right or
left?

me : left .
she takes her left & I
continue to direct
her until we got
there .

me : usazokwazi
kodwa ukubuyela
emumva ?

she giggles .
Mandisa : I have my
gps with me .
we both get out of
the car & she gives
me the 2 plastics .

Mandisa : uzodla
nalo sis ohlala naye
.

me : siyabonga ,
awufuni ukumbona
?
Mandisa : cha , cha
cha . ngizombona
some other day ,
kodwa ay manje .

I blush .
me : uyafuna
ukushada ?

Mandisa : yea . wena

awukthandi ?
me : angazi
okwamanje
ngzobona as I
continue growing .

I put the plastics &

the meals down & I
give her a very tight
hug .

me : ngyabonga
kakhulu for today .
Mandisa : kubonga
mina sthandwa sami
, ngizokubona ninike
futhi ?

we break the hug

but my arms are on
her shoulders & her
hands are on my
lower back .

me : ngizokubona
noma yinini , maybe
everyday ngoba
emsebenzini uyeza
uzolanda uAma .

Mandisa :
enganyanya kabi
mayengakuzwa
umbiza kanjalo .

I giggle .

me : akalifuni ?
Mandisa : lutho ,
ukutshela kahle nje
ukuthi uwuAmanda
yena akayena uAma
.

me : hawu , cha
uphaphile bo .

Mandisa :
sengyahambake
nami . ngiyabonga
futhi nokuthi uze
wangiqoma ;
ngizokuphathisa
angazi noma ngzothi
okweqanda noma ?

me : yea , kthiwa
okweqanda .

Mandisa : nawe
kuzomele
ungiphathe kahle
ngoba ngyazi
anghluphi kakhulu .
ngfuna iattention
yakho , iskhathi
sakho nothando
lwakho .

me : khululekake .

Mandisa : khulekake
bani ? nja ?

me : chabo ,
khululekake
sthandwa sami .
I looked deep into
her eyes & I closed
my eyes , I got closer
& I kissed her , I felt
her kiss me back ;
we went on for a
very long time & she
finally slide her
hands all the way to
my nyashhhh ahh
ubaby ! iyangthanda
lentombazane . I felt
our private body
part connecting in
some way , we are
pretty much the
same height but I
just wish she was
taller .

I break the kiss &

she baby kisses me &
also kisses my
forehead .

Mandisa :
ngyakthanda yezwa
baby .
me : nami
ngyakthanda .

she got inside her

car , I watched her
leave waze
wayosithela & then I
went inside the
house .

me : qo qo ekhaya .
Thando : yebo !
she comes running
all the way from her
room while I put the
plastics in the
kitchen table .

Thando : detail on
detail to detail by
detail .

me : ayibo odetail
abangaka ?
we laugh .

Thando : no man
khuluma ...
she opens the
plastics .

Thando : mhh zinje

la , wena makhekhe ,
wena ferrero ! ayibo
Wandile khuluma !
me : a girl doesn't
kiss & tell .

Thando : hhaaa , yall

even kissed ?
unaaaaamanga !

me : my mouth is
zipped .

Thando : hhaa ,
ungenza nje ?
me : ngyadlala
ngyadlala . Thando
mfethu .
uyangthanda
uMandisa . Thando
uMandisa ufuna
mina nami ngfuna
yena . zisuka nje
sesyathandana
okwamampela .
akukho ukuthi
sisazocatcher
amafeelings
sesiwacatchile .
Thando :
seniyathandana ?

me : siyathandana
Thando , bengiqala
nokuhlala naye
iskhathi esingaka
kodwa indlela
engimthanda ngayo
ungafunga ukuthi
kade ngamazi . yazi
wenze into
ebengingakaze
ngimcabangele
ukuthi engayenza ,
she brought us
mcdonalds , she took
me to the beach , we
kissed , we took so
many pictures &
made so many
videos I will send
them to you . hhaa
ngaze ngamthanda
umuntu ; I haven't
been this happy in a
very long time , I
love this for me .
Thando : haw '
Wandile . bukake
suzongikhalisa .
ngavele
ngayhalelake lento
yakho yobutabane .

me : cha ungakhali ,
stick to indoda
yakho le edlala
ngawe yaseGoli .

Thando : akadlali
ngami uThemba
nkosiyami ,
uyangthanda loyana
ukuthi akanaskhathi
nje esitheni , mana
ngoThemba ;
qhubeka indaba
yaMandisa .

I blushed so hard
even my jaws hurt ,
kunini ngiblusha .
me : no man ,
uyangchaza loya .
her body , her face
konke nendlela enza
ngayo izinto ; I love
everything about her
.

Thando : ahhh
nkosiyami ,
awusablushi naweke
even when talking
about her nje
uyakhombisa . I
hope konke
kuzonihambela
kahle kakhulu .

me : siyabonga .
ngsayogezake mase
ngyadla ngilale ,
ngikhathazwe
ulwandle lwaze
beach ; akudlali
phela ukuhanjiswa
intombi yakho
ehappy place yayo .
we both laugh .

Thando : cha
usuyaphaphake
manje .

me : ngyayidlalela .

Thando :
ungibongele kuye
yezwa ?
me : for what ?

Thando : mcdonalds
nje .

me : ohh konje , okay

.

I take my phone &

charge it in my room
. I now head to the
bathroom . I get
there & I take off my
clothes , my hair still
looks good , I cover it
with the hair plastic
& start taking a very
hot shower .

Thando knocks ...

Thando : your phone

is ringing .
me : uba , its okay .
let it ring .
ngzoythatha mase
ngiqedile la .
ngyabonga .

I think its Mandisa

wanting to tell me
that she got home
safe or
useyangikhumbula
angazi .
I finish bathing & I
walk with a towel to
my room , I take my
phone to see that I
missed 3 calls from
Mandisa , I call her
back & she doesn't
pick up .

I call her again & it

rings but it goes
straight to voicemail
.

I wear my short
pyjamas & I apply
my cuticura . when I
was done I went to
the kitchen & started
eating while I
checked my
notifications .

notifications :
- Mandisa Zulu
tagged you in a story
.
- message from
mageba . ( 3 hearts )

I try calling her

again & she is still
not picking up , I go
to her instagram
story & I can see that
she posted that video
she took of me
saying "no stop
recording" & her
imitating "nywe stop
recording" with a
caption , " I pray its
today till infinity " &
I start blushing
uncontrollably .
even though I think
we are going to be
those type of people
that move very fast
in a relationship ,
ngathi
siyaphuthuma ;
sengisheshe
nokucatch.a
amafeelings ngiqala
nokuchitha iskhathi
naye kodwa lendlela
esengzizwa ngayo
kuye angiyazi .
I finish eating & I go
throw the dirt in the
dustbin , I said
goodnight to Thando
& I walked back to
my room .

I went to my
instagram & I posted
one of the pictures of
me & Mandisa
where were holding
hands & showing
our feet inside the
water & I captioned
"to new beginnings ;
my 07.03" & I tagged
her .

chat : [ Mandisa
baby . ]
me : goodnight baeb
, I love you (heart
emojie)
I hope you got
home safe ; I am
sorry I missed your
calls I was in the
bathroom . xolo my
love .

I switch off my data

& I slept .
insert 12 .
its a been a month
now . things are still
good with
I was waken up by a
call from Mandisa .
phone call :
Mandisa :
gooooodmorningggg
sthandwa senhliziyo
yami ! unjaaaaani ?

she is singing & she

is sooo loud
nkosiyami ukube
uyazi ukuthi I was in
my deepest sleep .
me : mh , mh , mhh
umsindo omngaka
baby , ngoneni kuwe
nkosiyami .

Mandisa :
sengikuculele kahle
kanjena , cha ay
uyangphoxa wena !

me : cha ucula kahle

phela , eh ehna
angukphoxi .
ngyaxolisake kodwa
bengingakuphoxi .

Mandisa : shono
ukuthi nguBeyoncé .

me : uyangforce.a
pho ?

I laugh at her .

Mandisa : shono
okanye ngzokuziba
ilanga lonke ungazi
uzowenzani
ngempilo yakho
ngoba awukwazi
ukuphila
ngaphandle kwami .

I laugh so loud & I sit

properly , I think she
is so funny like for
reals .

me : hawema , okay
unguBeyoncé wami
.

Mandisa : nazoke .
uyaphilake ?

me : ehhe ngyaphila
ma unjani wena ?

Mandisa : yazi
masungbiza ngo
"ma" ngvele
ngiybone sengile ,
ungsusa langikhona
ungbeka le kodwa
ehhe nami ngyaphila
? sithembe
ulalekahle ke izolo
ebsuku .

me : nglalile phela
ngoba kuyalalwa
kodwa ukulala kahle
, chabo .

Mandisa : yindaba ?
me : angutholanga
u"I love you" wami
no "goodnight baby"
. kwenzekeni izolo
vede ngoba
nghambile
ngayogeza ngabuya
la ngafika the calls I
missed & I tried
calling you back
kodwa du !

Mandisa : no
ngingachaza ne ?
me : chaza phela .

I stand up & I make

my way to the
kitchen .

Mandisa : ngivele
ngazumeka
embhedeni & my
phone was on
silence , ngyaxolisa
kakhulu .
I boil the water in
the kettle & I put
together the
ingredients for
lemon tea .

me : okay ,
akunankingake .

Mandisa :
ngzokbona
namhlanje ?
me : angazi , ufuna
ukungbona
everyday yini ?

Mandisa : ngyafisa .

me : hhaa , vede
ungthatheke
ngzohlala nawe .

Mandisa : woza .

me : ngzokufonela
mase ngiqedile
ngengikwenzayo ,
sobuye sikhulume .

Mandisa : okay
ngyakthandake .

me : nami
ngyakthanda baby ,
ubenosuku oluhle
olufana nentombi
yakho .
Mandisa : nawe
ngokunjalo , bye bye
valake .

me : no vala wena .
Mandisa : chabo vala
wena .

awema iyiscefe lento

.

me : vala Mandisa .
Mandisa : vala wena
.

me : ohhho , okay .

I drop the call & I

blush alone . since
the house is quiet ;
Thando could be at
work but its
impossible , she
doesn't work on
saturdays . I wonder
where she went .
I dialed to her
number & I try
calling her . it rings
& she picks it up .

[ phone call ]

me : Thando ?

Thando : yea mtase .

me : ukuphi ?
Thando :
ngisemsebenzini .
me : unamanga .

Thando : hawu
ngiserious .

me : kanjani ?
Thando : ngibusy
sokhuluma ekhaya
bye .

me : mana ...
she drops the call ,
no man . khona
serious into eoff .
Thando is hiding
things from me , but
its fine ; I will figure
it all out .
I make my bed & I
start cleaning
around the house ...

an hour later . I am
finally done . I went
to take a shower & I
wore my casual
clothes , today is a
bit cold yazi . I am so
tired from yesterday
. I make noodles & I
go sit in my room & I
continued reading a
novel right about
11:08am .

I don't remember
when I slept but I
recall being waken
up by Thando .

me : what time is it ?

Thando : its half 3 . I

am back .
me : oh shit . okay
ngsayowasha ubuso
.

I washed my face &

went to Thando .

me : shonoke
ubukuphi ?
Thando : work .

me : Thando ?
she laughs .
me : uhlekani ?

I am already angry
cause she is keeping
secrets from me , I
hate that cause I
thought me & her
are now friends .

Thando : bengise
mall . I went to meet
up with an old
friend .
me : its a guy ?
Thando : yes .

me : can I see him ?

Thando : no .

me : okay , angeke
ngikungcenge .
she laughs . mmxm .

I went to my room &

I sat now .
umsangano
enguqgokile
namhlanje , my old !
old skirt that I used
to wear in
highschool for my
netball team . its so
short right now but
its so nice , its that
with my white crop
top & my white socks
, I love socks . I wear
socks everyday that
is why I don't have
any pumps or flat
shoes . I only have 1
pair of heels & the
rest is tekkies ,
phaqa's & 2 pairs of
boots .
Its already 2 : 33 pm
, this day is going
very fast . I have to
go to work
tommorow konje I
work & nguthishela
kengoku .

I iron my jean that I

am planning on
wearing tommorow
& as soon as I was
done , I took my
phone & called
Mandisa .

phone call :
me : sengihleli
phansike .

Mandisa :
sengikukhumbule
mina ngeke .
me : ufuna
ngenzenjani
manjeke , ngindize
ngize lapho ?

Mandisa : ngfuna
ukuza lapho mina .
me : ngampelani ?

Mandisa : ehhe ,
ngyakcela .
me : manje ?
Mandisa : ehhe ,
manje nje .
me : okay wozake .

Mandisa : ukhona
uThando ?

me : chabo , kodwa
angikho sure
uzobuya nini . I
think uzobuya noma
yinini from now on .
Mandisa :
ngikphathele ini ?
me : lutho , woza
wena nje wedwa .

Mandisa :
awungekeke
ngingaphathi lutho ,
shono ufunani
ngzoza nayo .

me : amanzi , still
water .
Mandisa : sodwa ?

me : ehhena
nkosiyami .
Mandisa : okay .

she drops & I laugh

alone .

I don't really like

being spoiled , I'd
rather be the one
that spoils you
manje I don't think
uMandisa will ever
allow that , angiyena
umuntu othanda
izinto kakhulu ;
ezinye izinto nje I
prefer admiring
them from a
distance , angthandi
ngampela to be that
girl . I don't like most
things that other
girls like ; weaves ,
wigs , nails , makeup
kodwa futhi thats
not to sound better ,
cocky or even sound
special , I just don't
like those things no
glitter no sparks .

in 20 minutes a car
hooted & I went out ,
my girl is here & she
is wearing a pink
adidas upper knee
short , a pink hoodie
& her black cap . she
loves her cap , I will
ask her if I can have
it one day to see if
she will give me .

she gets out of the

car & we both
walked towards each
other , we hug for a
while & we both
break it at the same
time .
Mandisa : uyaphila
?
me : ngyaphila
unjani ?

Mandisa : nami
ngyaphila .

she keeps looking at

me in my eyes &
making me all shy &
shit . I hate being
"shy" towards
anyone & yena she
makes it really hard
for me to even be
myself .

me : ungangbuki
phela kanjalo .
Mandisa : ngikbuka
kanjani ?

me : kanjalo nje ,
asambeni siyendlini
.
Mandisa : usefikile
uThando ?

me : ehhe , ukhona .
Mandisa : ay
angiyike mina .

I laugh a bit .

me : ngyadlala
akekho , yindaba
uthi awuyi
makunguthi ukhona
?

Mandisa :
ngyamsaba uThando
wakho , nanka futhi
amanzi akho .

she takes the bottle

of water in her car &
hands it to me .
me : hawe ,
uwaphathe
ngampela , Mandisa
uyahlanya . hawu
manake umsabani
uThandi futhi
ubumbonephi ?

Mandisa : I saw her

on your instagram ,
ay ukuthi
ngyamsaaaaaaba
cha , ngyamsaba nje
.
me : ayikho yazi into
oyichazayo .

we both walked
inside the house , I
hope I make her feel
comfortable cause
she is the one who
wanted to spend
time with me today .

I take some of the

snacks from
yesterday & we go to
my room , we lay
with our stomachs in
my bed & we start
talking while eating
the snacks .

Mandisa : Wandile .

me : I am right next
to you , yindaba
ungbiza ?
Mandisa : cela
ungahlukani nami
noma ngabe kuvele
siphi isvunguvungu
.

me : ayy ,
mangithola ukuthi
uyafeba ?

Mandisa : ungthande
kakhulu .
I laugh hawe ,
edakwa lona .

me : uyahlanya vede
umthetho wakho ?

Mandisa : yazi wena

uyafana nse
nomama , my mom
is always saying that
.
me : cha ngampela
futhi we can't both
be wrong , ngyabuya
ngsayochama .

Mandisa : cok'hamba
nawe ?
me : I am literally
going to the next
door , ngdinga
ukuchama ngyabuya
.
Mandisa : still
ngfuna ukuhamba
nawe .

I look at her & stand

up , she also stands
up & walks behind
me ; before we could
exit the door in my
room , she pulls my
waist & turns me to
her side .
me : yindaba manje
?

ngiphiso mchamo
what is Mandisa
doing , yazi
ngzozichamela
ngoba engbamba
iqolo kamnandi
kanje .

she looks at me right

deep into my eyes &
I fall inlove 10 ×
more !!!

she pulls me closer &

kisses me , I kiss her
back & we kiss for a
very long time . her
hands move all the
way down to ass ... I
break the kiss .

me : Mandisa
ngdinga ukuchama .
Mandisa : mana ,
mana . ssh .

awu bukani phela ,

uyang "sshh sssh"za
manje , ngzocasuka
yazi .

she held my waist

closer to hers &
pushed me while
walking towards the
bathroom door , I
did mention that the
bathroom has a
toilet , shower & a
bathtub all in one so
we move towards
the bathroom door &
her hands are all
over my ass now
again she goes up to
my waist and tries to
take my top off .

me : mana , mana .
Mandisa : ngyakcela
.

me : mana Mandisa ,
ngyeka . ngyeka !

I take off my skirt & I

sit in the toilet sit &
my pee starts
coming out ngathi
ngichitha amanzi
agcwele ibhadeke .
she stares & looks at
my thighs , all the
way down to my legs
, she bits her lower
lip .

I finished peeing & I

wiped some pee on
my virgina & flushed
the toilet .

Mandisa : ubungeke
usakwazi
ukungilinda ngiqede
into ebengfuna
ukuyenza .

me : chabo ,
ibisizoqhuma
ibledder yami .

I was about to wear

back my panty &
skirt ...

Mandisa :
ungasaqgoki .
I don't know if this
feels right , but we
started dating a
month ago & I've
never had lesbian
sex before or any
kind of sex nje & this
girl is rushing things
.

she comes closer to

me & pulls my waist
again , iI don't know
but this is making
me feel good .
we kiss , roughly
now she takes off my
top & lifts me up to
her waist . I thought
I was heavy but the
way she is carrying
me makes me feel
like I am not as
heavy as I thought I
was .
she takes me to my
bedroom & tosses
me into bed , our eye
contact is driving me
crazy .

Mandisa : virgin ?

I nod ...

as scared as I was , I
thought she'd be
very disappointed or
something .

Mandisa : do you
want me to go on ?
I look at her for
some time & I nod
again .

Mandisa : please use

your words .
me : yes , please
continue .
she pulls my legs
closer to the edge of
the bed & goes down
with her head .

......* removed * ......

she takes & covers

the both of us with
my blanket &
cuddles to bed with
me , she makes me
sleep on her chest ; I
only realised now
that Mandisa has
small boobs , like
they are so small
literally the size of
isvalo se powerade .

I am still naked &

she has all her
clothes on ; I just had
sex for the very first
time & it felt really
great .
Mandisa :
ngyabonga .
me : ubongani ?

Mandisa : for
allowing me to get
inside you .

me : am I not your
girl ?
Mandisa : you are
my only girl .
me : then its my job
to have you inside
me , asikho isdingo
sokubonga .

I can feel her heart

beat & I keep playing
with my fingers on
her chest drawing
"hearts" & imagining
all the good things I
want to do for her .
Mandisa : I hope you
do understand
ukuthi angyithandi
intombazane
engacacile , efebayo
futhi engaythandi
kwanayo .

me : what do you
mean ?

Mandisa : ngfuna
ukudla ngedwa la ,
akekho omunye
umuntu ozodla
ukudla kwami .

me : kuyezwakala .
Mandisa : meke
ngathola ukuthi
ukhona ?

me : angeke
abekhona
ngyakthembisa .
Mandisa : if you ever
feel ukuthi you need
to be satisified ,
anytime of anyday , I
am here & I will give
you lokho oyobe
ukudinga
ngalesoskhathi .

Mandisa :
sengizohambake
manje ma .
me : chabo ,
ungahambi .
Mandisa : ngobani ?
me : ngoba
ngyakthanda &
angfuni uhambe .

she laughs at me .

Mandisa : hawu
baby .
me : wena
awungthandi ?
Mandisa :
ngyakthanda nje
nami sthandwa sami
; kodwa kumele
ngihambe phela .

me : cha ungahambi
.
Mandisa : asambe
siyogezake .

we went to the
shower , she hands
me a plastic for my
hair & she starts
starring at my body
bro I swear this is so
uncomfortable .

me : please stop
doing that .
Mandisa : stop ini ?

me : ukungbuka
kanjalo .

Mandisa : why not ?

me : okay ,
qhubekake .
Mandisa : vele
ngzoqhubeka .

I look at her eyes ,

she stares at mine
too ; I can't believe
that this is me , here
inside a shower with
a girl I just met ; its
really crazy .
we bath each others
back & her hands get
all over my body ,
from my small titties
all the way to my
back . its a great
feeling of being
turned on .

Mandisa : thani
kanje ...

she takes both my

arms & puts them on
her shoulder , she
puts her hands
around my waist &
pulls me closers
towards herself .

Mandisa : ya
sthandwa sami .
me : mh ?

I say "mh" while my

eyebrows go up .
she gives me a baby
kiss & smiles .

yazi her eyes , she

has this way of
looking at me & I
love it . it gives me
goosebumps &
butterflies . I knew
then ukuthi that was
love .

Mandisa : allow me
to ...
me : to what
sthandwa sami ?
Mandisa : to spend
the rest of my life
with you .

I was so unsure , I
mean its been only 1
month & what does
"rest of my life"
mean , umshado ?

me : you want to be
... really ?
Mandisa : no , I'm
not putting any
pressure on you . I
can give you as
much time as you
want to think about
it .

me : no , no . I don't
want to think about
anything , yes . I
want us to spend the
rest of our lives
together .
she smiles & hugs
me really tight ...

me : okay , okay
unganglimazi phela
.

she breaks the hug

Mandisa : sorry .

me : I think
usezobuyake
uThando .
Mandisa : ngampela
?
me : yea , you want
to see her ?
Mandisa : angazi
phela . do you want
me to see her ?

me : yes , maybe .
athi ngimfonele .
Mandisa : uzothini ?
me : ngzombuza
usekuphi nje .

I take my phone & I

dial to Thando .

it rings & she doesn't

pick up .

me : she is not
answering .
Mandisa :
sowenzenjanike ?

me : angazi baby .

we went to my room
, and got dressed .
she wore the clothes
that she was
wearing & we sat &
watched netflix on
my laptop .
after a few hours .
18:16 .

I wake up alone in
my bed & I check the
time , its 6:17 pm &
the last thing I recall
was sitting here with
Mandisa .

I stood up & went to

look around the
house .
"Thando ? Mandisa
?"

no one is responding
I think they are both
not here . I called
Mandisa & she
picked up at first
ring .

[phone call]
me : babe .
Mandisa : ya ma ;
usuvukile ?

me : yes . as tired as I
am , ungshiyeleni
futhi ukuphi ?
uhambeleni
ungangtshelanga ?

Mandisa :
ungangthethisi phela
, you were so cute
ngenkathi ulele ;
bengingafuni
ukukphazamisa .

me : I was ?

Mandisa : kakhulu . I
actually was so
charmed ukuthi
umuhle ngisho ulele
.

me : hawu
ngyabonga kodwa
baby kodwa lokho
bekungasho ukuthi
ungshiye .

Mandisa : kanje
ngzokbona nje baby
.
me : nini ?

Mandisa : nominini
mosufuna wena .
me : mangingathi
manje ?
Mandisa : namanje
ngsangakubona .

me : mmxm .
we both laugh &
finally said our
goodbyes &
exchange I love
you's .
I find Thando
wearing earphones
in the kitchen .

should I tell her that

me & Mandisa had
sex ?

me : yazi ngithi
awukho . kunini
ngikmemeza .
Thando : lutho ama
earphones mtase ,
usuze wavuka ?

me : yea , ubuye nini

vede ?

Thando : kade
ngbuyile , ngimficile
noskwiza .

I smile .
me : umfice
ngampela ?

Thando : yebo ,
ubethukile koda
saxoxa kancane
mase wahambake .

amahloni kimi
uThando kade
esexoxe nobaby ,
kodwa for sure
ubaby ubemtshela
ukuthi ungthanda
kanjani .

I helped her cook &

we ate ; after that we
both went to sleep .
a few days later .

I haven't been with

Mandisa for the past
couple of days ,
lokho ngamgcina
ngalesaskhathi , I
miss her so much
but she promised we
will be together this
weekend .

I just got back from

work & my legs are
tired , its a warm
Friday & today was
prayer day for the
learners at work
since they are
starting with their
exams very soon .

I get inside the house

& I find Thando in
the kitchen watching
something on her
phone .
Thando : uyaphila ?
me : lutho we'oe
ngikhathele ngyafa !

Thando : hambolala ,
I'm going to make
you your favourite
homemade dish .

me : ay uyazelaphi ?

Thando : ngyayazi .
me : whats my
favourite dish ?

Thando : awu anje

iwhite stamp with
beef curry .

I smiled , iyona vede

. she prepared the
meal while I went to
take a quick shower
.

... an hour later .

food is almost ready

, I'm glad we brought
the 30 minutes
stamp .

I am sitting on the
kitchen table while
scrolling on tiktok ,
my phone rings & I
smile . its Mandisa ,
Mandisa wami .

phone call >>>

me : hey babe .
Mandisa : unjani
ma?
me : ngyaphila
unjani?
Thando looks at me
& we both smile .

Mandisa : nami
ngright mawuright
wena , your day at
work today ?

me : it was
exhausting as always
, wena school?
Mandisa :
ngikhathele , can
this year end
ngigraduate ngiqede
.

me : khululeka ,
usuzophela unyaka .

we both share a
small laugh .
Mandisa : let me go
take a quick shower ,
I will call you ne ?

me : okay love .

we end the call &

Thando starts ...
Thando : lusavutha
namanje ?

me : brah !
angyiboni
nghlukana
nalengane .

Thando : catchile ne
?
me : kdala
ngacatch.a .

we continued talking
& we ate the food ,
after that we said
our goodnights and
went to our
bedrooms .
I was still changing
my clothes & I wore
my pyjamas while
my phone notified .

I then jumped into

bed & unlocked my
phone .

chat >>>
Mandisa : you are
not sleeping as yet
right ?

I replied .
me : no , benglinde
wena .

Mandisa : okay babe

, well I am here now
. Wandile I miss you
so much yazi .
me : I know , like its
been only a week
singabonani but it
feels like its been a
year .

Mandisa : I want to
see you tommorow .

me : aren't you
writing ?
Mandisa : no , I will
come fetch you
maybe at half 12 in
the noon okay ?

me : okay , soyaphi ?

Mandisa : we will
book by the havana
hotel so we can stay
there imini yonke
then later I will take
you home , how's
that ?
me : sounds fine to
me .

we said our
goodnights & then I
slept .

the following day .

I woke up at 8 am
sharp , I took a bath
& I made breakfast .
Thando left for work
around half 7 so I
am all alone .

its 10 : 47 & I am
done cleaning ,
Mandisa just sent a
text .

chat >>>
Mandisa : is it fine if
I get kfc ?
me : its not a
problem .

she hearted my text .

I just came to think ,

its now close to 2
months & Mandisa is
the only person that
has been spending
her money in this
relationship , it just
came as a deep
thought I hope she
knows that I am also
willing to spoil her
inkinga sometimes I
feel like akafuni
ukungvumela .
insert 13

I am getting ready
now , its almost 12
nobaby sekayeza . I
wore my black long
dress , iveza ivanga !
"ithanga" almost my
whole left legside ,
its revealing on my
back & shows a bit of
my chest all the way
to small cleavage .
I applied my lipgloss
, no make up , just
lipgloss & I combed
my hair , I need to
do this hair colour
again . I looked for
my earings & I wore
them too with my
nike tekkies ,
sekumsangano phela
lo esekugqokile .
ngacabanga kabili ,
sekuyangiphoqa
ukuthi ngikhiphe
ingubo . so then I
took off my dress , I
wore my nike
trackpants with my
nike hoodie so I
could wear my
tekkies , its 5
minutes to 12 (11:55)
, I took my phone
and I put it inside
my handbag ... my
phone rang .
phone call >>>
Mandisa : I am by
the gate .
me : hawe
ngsayogeza cabanga
.
Mandisa : hawu
uyangixhaphazake
wena .
I laughed .
me : ngyadlala ,
ngyaphuma manje .

I locked the door & I

saw her standing
right there , she is
wearing a skirtttt
cabanga , Mandisa
wonke neskirt !
looks like I'm the
man this time
around *laughs* .
she could see me
coming towards her
and laughing .

Mandisa : uhlekani ?
angathi uyabonake .

we hugged & kissed

.
me : luutho ,
anghleki wena .
Mandisa : mmxm ay
. wamuhleke .
me : nawe wamuhle
.
Mandisa : ay suka .

we got inside the car

& she drove off .

she played
"angikaze" by russel
zuma , she kept on
singing along with it
kodwa mna I was
there , starring at
her ....

Mandisa : [singing]
ngiyabulela ,
ngokungvulela
eyakho inhliziyoo ,
wayenza yaba lula
eyami impilo ,
qhubeka ungithande
baby noma kunzima
.
I looked at her , yo
ngaze ngachazeka
yezwa .

me : sekuright phela
sengzwile .

Mandisa : uba othe

ngiculela wena
konje?

me : hawu Mandisa
.
Mandisa : cha
ngyabuza nje , uthi
usuright nje ubani
obeculela wena ?

me : cha uyathanda
ukungphoxa wena .

Mandisa : manje
usufuna ukukhala?
she laughs .
ngavede ngamziba &
I took my phone out
og my pocket .

Mandisa : hawu
ngyadlala nje baby ,
osadlaliswa? okay
ngyaxolisake
ngiculela wena nawe
uyazi akekho
omunye .
I blush & she
continues to sing .

Mandisa : angikaze ,
ngizizwe kanjena
before . ohh
angikaze ngizizwe
kanjena before .
ungiphethe kahle
ohhh ....

I recorded her & I

posted the video on
my ig story . we
finally got to the
hotel . it seemed she
had already booked
.

we took out the

snacks from the boot
& I saw that she
brought dunked
wings from kfc &
appletiser drinks ,
thats my favourite .
ngamphathisake
then we walked
inside .

the room looked nice

, we put the food and
snacks in the table . I
took off my shoes & I
sat on the bed .

me : ngavele
ngakhathalake .
Mandisa :
ukhathazwa yini
singakasebenzi ?
we busted into
laughter , hawe ma
ngaze ngahleka ... I
couldn't stop .

Mandisa : awu
akuhlekisi nje
kangako .

she said that looking

at herself in the
mirror .
me : kuyahlekisa
phela kimi ngoba
ngyakthanda .

she looks at me .

me : yini wangbuka ,
awungthandi yini
wena ?

Mandisa : you've
never really said
that before .

me : hawu seke .
uyangsukela .
Mandisa : you've
said it through text ,
akaze washo to my
face .

me : hawu hlezi
ngisho nje kanti
uyahlanyani? nakhu
ngyasho nje ,
ngyakthanda .
Mandisa : wozosho
la .

me : hha ngsukume
mina ngize laphoke
?

Mandisa : woza .

I stood up & I walked

to her . she held both
my hands & stared
right into my eyes .

me : ngiyakthanda .
Mandisa :
uyangthanda bani ?
nja ?
me : ngyakthanda
baby .

Mandisa : shono
ukuthi uyazifela
ngami .
haw uyaboza
uMandisa , cha
uyaboza shem but
ngyamthanda kimi
obviously
kuzohlekisa .

me : ngyazifela
ngawe , ngzokfaka
indadatho .

Mandisa : qabulake .
I baby kissed her
and she pulled my
head closer & kissed
me .

Mandisa : asishuthe
la , sihle lesisibuko .

I took my phone &

she took her's too ,
we took mirror
pictures , our outfits
were so nice .
me : sekuright ?
Mandisa : yes .

we sat on the bed &

we started eating
while having a fun
conversation , we
then decided to play
Q&A.

Mandisa : no you
start .
me : okay , anything
right ?
Mandisa : get as
personal as you
want .

me : how old were

you when you lost
your virginity ? and
to whom ?

Mandisa : ah okay , I
was in grade 11 so I
was 15 turning 16 .
this other girl in my
class just asked me if
I want to lose my
virginity & I said yea
ngoba vede I didn't
really care plus
bekamuhle .

I looked at her .
me : mh .

Mandisa : so she
invited me to get
16th birthday party
that was going to
take place at her
house that friday
night . so I went
there & I got there it
was so weird ngoba I
never attended
parties so for her I
did .

I looked for her & I

found her with her
friends so I waved
and she came
towards me . she just
pulled me & we went
to her room . she
locked her door &
she asked if
ngyafuna ngampela
ukyiwenza lento . I
nodded & she took
off all her clothes &
walked in her closet
... weird girl came
out with a dildo belt
rapped around her
waist .
I busted again into
laughter .
me : dildo ???
Mandisa :
ngyakutshela .
ngangiqala
nokyibona leyanto ,
should I continue ?

me : no , sekuright
sengyazi
bakubreak.a
ngedildo , sies .
amahloni kuwe
bakudla ngetoyizi.

Mandisa : cha
avuphapha njalo .

me : sekuwena
obuzayo .
Mandisa : nami
ngyakbuzake the
same question you
asked me .
me : I've never had
actual sex , wuwe
kuphela who has
had access to my
body & you know
that .

Mandisa : really ?
me : angdlali ,
buzake okunye .
Mandisa : how many
ex's do you have?
me : 2 .
Mandisa : girls only
?
me : yea , wena ?

Mandisa : 1 guy & 6

girls .

I opened my eyes so
wide .
me : uyajola bo .
Mandisa : is it too
much ?
me : its alot .

Mandisa : shuthi
sorrike .

we continued
playing , it was
almost 3pm . we
were done eating &
we were cuddling .
Mandisa was
sleeping on my
boobs , her leg ontop
of mine , our hands
wrapped around
each other .

Mandisa : yo
ngyakthanda yezwa
Wandile .

me : kangakanani?
Mandisa : kakhulu ,
kasdudla .
me : ngampela ?
Mandisa : cela
ungangshiyi noma
ngabe ngenzani
kuwe , uqhubeka
ungthande .
ngyakucela .

me : okay .

Mandisa : promise
me ?
me : I am not
promising you yazi ,
if you do me wrong
frs I am gone . you
just have to do
things right , stay
loyal then I can
promise you that I
will never leave you
.

she moves her hands

& inserts in under
my hoodie , she
moves it up to my
breasts .

me : uyangizwa yini
?
Mandisa : cha ,
uthini ?

she gets ontop of my

body & takes of her
t-shirts & her skirt .
me : eh eh , mana .
uyangizwa yini
ukuthi ngthini?

Mandisa : chabo ,
angikuzwa *she
kisses my neck*
uthini baby ?

neck kisses turn me

on , now I am on &
this is not how
things are supposed
to be .
she takes off my
hoodie & pulls my
pants out . both of us
are in our thongs &
bra's .

me : bengithi mina ,
if you stay loya...

she kisses my chest

right above my boob
, I am underneath
her & she is sitting
on my waist .

Mandisa : ehhe ? if I
stay loyal ?

she is doing this on

purpose vede .

she continues
kissing neck &
leaving hickeys .
me : I won't ... I won't
leave you . mana mh
.

Mandisa : khuluma
baby , wasuthula
manje ?

she turns me to the

back & unties my
bra , her hands
move slowly to my
back all the way the
panty . she takes if
off & turns me up
again , she looks and
admires my body .

Mandisa : akuve
umuhle umzimba
wakho .

me : ngyabonga .
Mandisa : wuphathe
kahle .
me : kukuwe phela
lokho .

.......*removed*.......

we were done & got

dressed , I have so
many hickeys on my
thighs , neck & chest
. she handled me a
bit to rough this time
but its fine . she has
to be satisfied .
me : sesyahamba ?
Mandisa : uyafuna
sambe ?
me : cha .

we cuddled in bed
kwaze kwahla &
then at 6:46pm we
were on our way
going home . she
dropped me off , we
said our goodbyes .
me : call me when
you get home .

Mandisa : I will do . I
love you .
me : I love you more
.

I get home & find

Thando sleeping .

me : mtase ! I am
home .
Thando : ubukade
ukuphi ?
she wakes up .

me : oh kanti ulele ?

Thando : lutho ,
bengingalele
ubuthongo . xoxake ,
iza nazo .
me : izini ? bengno
baby nje sajola
kwamnandi
kwanjeya . ngfuna
ukugeza . ngilale .
ngikhathele yezwa ?

Thando :
ukhathazwe yini ?
niyenza kanjani vele
nina iklof klof ,
ongichazela .
me : ngyokutshela
ngelinye ilanga .

she laughed .
I went to bath &
recieved a message
from Mandisa .

chat >>>
Mandisa :
sengsekhaya ,
ngsageza baby
ngikhathele .
me : nami cabanga ;
sengyalalake manje
.

insert 14 .
3 months have
passed now , work
has been hectic , me
& Mandisa got into
this huge fight izolo
eksuku . ubengicika
shem ngavede
ngacima iphone
yami ngamziba
ngalala .

so izolo I was
suppose to see her .
she promised she
was going to fetch
me & drop me off at
home in the
afternoon , so I
called her
bengaybambi iphone
, I called and uber &
got home hoping she
will get back to me
and excuse herself
but no she didn't . at
4 I called her again &
the thing is it kept on
ringing kodwa
engaybambi .

ebsuku I called her

again kodwa
engaybambi , I felt
ukuthi ngyanyanya
so I called her sister
uNtwenhle . I got
Ntwenhle's number
recently nakhona its
because she likes me
for her sister .
so Ntwenhle
answers the phone
and tells me that
Mandisa got home
drunk engazazi
nokuthi uwubani
wakwabani and
ufike wayneka nje
embhedeni walala .
so what makes me so
mad is that kokuqala
ngyazi uMandisa
akaphuzi so why
would she come
home drunk
kangaka? where was
she the whole day
futhi who was she
with ? she didn't pick
up my calls nor get
back to me .

I checked my phone ,
0 messages from her
, 0 everything nje .
I switched off my
phone & I went to
bath , I have better
things to be doing
kunokulandelana
nesdakwa . isdakwa
sami kodwa phela ,
futhi ngyamthanda
ubaby and angeke
ngimyeke kodwa
ngimcasukele .

today is cold , winter

is just around the
corner . I wore
tracksuits and a
bernie , my face
looks horrible I was
crying eksuku .

I am late for work ,

my uber dropped me
off & I had a class in
3A . I got in and gave
them a spelling test ,
did the same in the
other classes too .

its break now , I

went to the
staffroom and
checked my phone . I
only have whatsapp
& instagram
notification , none
from her .

inhliziyo yami
ibuhlungu yazi ,
ngalowomzuzo my
pride is not letting
me call her again .

I went to the
tuckshop & I brought
myself a blue
powerade drink and
some smoothies for
maybe later .

break is almost over

, I went to the toilet
to pee ... shit its that
time of the month . I
went to get a pad
and when I was
done with my
business I went to sit
in the staffroom .
now I am not in the
mood for anything
and Mandisa keeps
on making things a
little bit worse .
I texted Thando and
told her I will bring
food , she mustn't
cook .

the bell rang and I

have a period in 3B ,
this is the worst class
when it comes to
performing and they
never keep quite .
insert 15 .

yo what a day , I am
in an uber going to
the mall . I wanted to
do my hair , my hair
has grown yazi . I
plait now ; I no
longer do haircuts
and blonde nton
nton .

I did a small lined

straight back at
ghaloy's salòn and
then I walked to
pizza hut , I got me &
Thando 2 large
pizza's .

then I went to H&M ,

I want to buy
Thando a hoodie and
a necklace . its her
birthday today & she
thinks I forgot .

I got her a pink

pather hoodie , she
loves pink pather .
so I got her a
necklace with an
infinity sign , what
else ?

I went to mr price &

got her nice hair
elastics bands , I also
took a gift bag . I
think thats enough .
its almost 6 , I ran
fast to woolworths
and got her a black
forest cake at R280 ,
looks nice .

I got an uber going

and walked in and
found her sitting on
the kitchen table on
her phone with a
few chocolates and
giftbags on the table
.

I smiled and looked

at her .
I sang for her .

me : Happy birthday
to you , happy
birthday to you ,
happy birthday dear
Thando , hip hip
hoorayyyy .

she smiles and hugs

me . I put my phone
& all the other things
in the table .

Thando : ngyabonga
, I thought you forgot
yazi .
me : how could I ?

I gave her her gifts .

Thando : haaa mtase

, pink panther ?
umthathephi ? no
man this necklace is
so cute , hha
Wandile ngyabonga
kakhulu .
me : hawu kanti
awukhali ?
Thando : mana
ngsazokhala .

we laughed .

Thando : hawu
unehhaba Wa ,
ikhekhe elingaka
sibaw2 kuphela? cha
you made my day .
my day was amazing
.

me : I'm glad then

babe .

Thando : wamuhle ,
isphongo
asisaphumileke
ngathi kuyaliwa .

me : eh , congyeka
yazi uyaphapha .
we laughed and my
phone vibrated .

Thando : is Mandisa
coming over ?

me : no , why ubuza
?
Thando : your phone
is ringing & its her .

ngezwa inhliziyo
ithokoza , my heart
felt home the minute
I saw her name on
the screen .

I declined the call .

Thando : kanjani
manje ?

me : nginawe
njengamanje & I am
making time for you
, soooo... * I switched
off my phone *
Thando : nixabene
yini ?
me : yea kodwa
sobaright .

Thando : oops , athi

umuntu adle
ikhekhe lakhekhe .
uThemba was here
cabanga .
Themba , remember
? her long distance
relationship . yes .
they are still
together .

me : hawu really ?

Thando : he gave me
R6000 to do my hair
and all the other
things & he got me
flowers there in the
sink , plus we went
out ke .

me : ah thats nice ,
athi ngbo imbali .

I walked to the sink

and they are so
lovely , they also
smell devine shuthi
bayamthanda
ngampelake manje .
abasadlali ngaye .
we ate the cake &
she wore the hoodie
, we went to take
pictures in the
bathroom mirror
with her phone
cause I switched
mine off .

me : zinhle ,
bengingaythembi
iphone yakho .
Thando : iright nje
i7+ , inkinga
uyayiphaphela nje .

me : cha ukuthi
inehome button ,
ngiktshela ngeyami
engena homebutton
.

Thando : ave
uphapha Wa ngeke !
asambe sodla .
we ate the pizza too
& I left some for
lunch tommorow .

its 8 : 49 pm , I
switched on my
phone & I found 6
missed calls from
Mandisa , 13
messages on
whatsapp & 3 from
instagram , she
doesn't have
facebook . I ignored
all that .

I saw that Thando

sent me the pictures
that we took so I
posted her on
instagram "glad you
had an amazing day
babe (balloons and
hearts) .

I went to whatsapp
and sent a "?" to
Mandisa ,
ngyashubisa and she
replies asap .

chat >>> .
Mandisa : i miss you
baby , can we talk ?
please stop ignoring
me .

me : oh you want to
talk now ?
Mandisa : I can
explain myself .

me : oh .
she calls & I decline
.

me : did I say call ?

Mandisa : baby
ngyakcela .

me : usathi baby ?
cha uyanghlanyela
wena .

Mandisa : can I
please call .
me : oh .

she calls .

phone call >>>

Mandisa : unjani ?
me : chaza , angani
uthe uzochaza ?
Mandisa : phela stop
being hard on me .

me : ngiknika
2minutes .
Mandisa : 2 baby?
hawu ngeke .

me : mkhulu
kakhulu ? okay 30
seconds .
Mandisa : hawu
chabo , ish okay
ngbuzeke
ngzokuphendula .

me : ubukuphi izolo
?
Mandisa :
bengseskoleni .

me : ngifuna iqiniso
Mandisa .
Mandisa : iqiniso nje
baby leli , okay .
bengseskoleni mese
ngaya kaZaza .

me : ubuyokwenzani
kaZaza ?
usuyaphuza futhi
manje ?

Mandisa : chabo
angphuzi ,
bengyothenga one
cider mase
ngyahamba .

me : wagcina
usuthenga ngaki ?

silence ...

me : wagcina
usuthenga ngaki
Mandisa ?
Mandisa : ma
angsakhumbuli .
me : okay ubuphuza
nobani ?
Mandisa : nabantu
abanye .

me : ubuphuza
nobani , fanele
ngbuze ukuthi
abafana noma
amantombazane ?
Mandisa : amanye
amacherry .

me : cherry? shono
ukuthi ubuphuza
nezinye ifebe , lalela
angsona islima
yezwa ? ungangenzi
islima sakho
Mandisa uyangizwa
?

Mandisa :
besacoyeke
ukuthetha yazi .

me : no , you don't
tell me what not to
do , angeke
ngithandane
nesdakwa mina ,
angeke ngijole
nomuntu oya
ematarven
ayodakwa abuye
angasazazi negama .
buqala ugcina ngci
lodoti obuwenza ,
lamasimba
obuwenza
ubuwagcina
Mandisa uyezwa ?

she drops the call ,

she drops the call on
me cabanga . the
nerve , hawe ngavele
ngakhuphukelwa
ushukela (angnawo
kodwa
uyangikhuphukela
ngyawuzwa) and I
looked to my door , I
found Thando
standing worried .

me : how long have

you been here ?
my tears started
falling , I stood up
and hugged her very
tight .

Thando : ssshh ,
sorry mtase . musa
ukukhala phela .
sssh

I continued crying .
she got me water &
we went to her room
, we slept there and
cuddled until I slept
.
the next morning , I
woke up in Thando's
bed and her not
there . I think she
left , its 6:02 , I ran to
the bathroom did my
routine & showered
.

I wore a long dusty

yellow dress with
my fluffy white
shoes , I took my
white handbag & my
phone .

I was just opening

the door & I saw
Mandisa's car
outside my yard .
ngavede ngahlina
yazi .

I locked the door and

walked towards the
car , she got out and
smiled .

me : usinekani ?
Mandisa : can I take
you to work ?

me : uyivaleleni
iphone ngsakhuluma
nawe izolo ?

Mandisa : yazi
mongavuma nje
ngikuyise
emsebenzini sivele
sidlule kulendaba
sikhohlwe yiyo .

me : sikhohlwe yiyo
? uzosangana la ?

Mandisa : kanti yini

ungangthembi ?
ukhulume nami
izolo ngathi
ubukhuluma
nengane encane ,
ukhuluma nami
ungiqathakela .
ngakulalela waze
wangithuka
ngabizwa
ngamasimba wena
ubungeke uyivale
iphone ?

me : nghambe
ngayophuza
ngadakwa neyfebe ?
bengeke ngyivale
iphone .
she holds my hand .
Mandisa : akuvumi
wehlise umoya ,
ukhulumele phansi
?

*weakens me*

me : Mandisa
uyathanda
ukungphoxa kodwa
nawe .
Mandisa :
sengixolisile nje
baby .
me : okaze uze
uxolise .

Mandisa : okay
ngyaxolisa ma ,
ngyaxolisa kuwe
sthandwa sami .
angeke ngize
ngiphinde ngiyenze
into ebheke eceleni .
cela ungixolele .

she kneels down .

me : osukume
uzingcolisa ,
ngyakxolela vede .
uyazi angikwazi
ukukcasukela
iskhathi eside .

Mandisa : asambeni
nguk'hambise
emsebenzini .
me : uphi uAmanda
?
Mandisa :
uhambiswe
umawakhe .

me : ohhh .
we get inside the car
.

me : congichargisa .
angnabattery .
I charged my phone
and she dropped me
off at work .

its assembly
wednesday , they
started a song &
prayed and after
that the teachers
went to the
staffrooms for a
called meeting .

we were introduced
to teachers from our
neighbouring school
, 3 females and 1
make who were
going to help tutor
our grade 7s maths
and english blah
blah blah the
meeting was boring .
it was finished and I
went to get a
powerade by the
tuckshop , one of the
females followed me
to the tuckshop I
think she also
wanted to get
something .

her : miss Shandu ?

I turned around .
me : yes hi ...
her : Ayanda ,
Ayanda Zungu

she offered her hand

for a handshake .
we shook hands &
she didn't let go .

Ayanda : I was
hoping you could
show me around
maybe ?

me : oh no , I
actually have a class
right now . this
meeting took so
much time ...

Ayanda : break ?
how is break ?
me : okay , break is
fine .
Ayanda : break is
totally fine .
me : okay .

now things are

weird cause I don't
know what to say , I
am going now .

I left & I took two

steps and I turned
around , I found her
still starring & we
both smiled .

I walked in 3A &
today I made them
write a small formal
test before they
write their exams .

my next period was

in 3C , did the same
and after that period
I was free . I went to
sit in the staffrom
and I guess I was the
only one there .

I took my phone &

saw that Mandisa
posted our picture
from the hotel that
other day &
captioned "my true
love" with the song
marieh carey -
always be my baby .
I replied with a
small love message
& we were chatting
for some time until
Ayanda & the other
male teacher (mr
Khumalo) walked in
while making so
much noise .

Ayanda : kanti vele

naye uzombona .
Khumalo :
bekumsangano vele
loya .

they made so much

noise while laughing
& I was just looking
at them until they
saw that there was
someone starring .

Ayanda : oh , you
here ?
me : yea but I was
just leaving .

I said standing up .

Ayanda : leaving ?
no stay .

me : oh okay .

Khumalo : I have to
go to the principal ,
ngzonibona .
he left .

Ayanda : you are

beautiful . so
beautiful .

she said putting her

stuff in the table &
walking towards me
.
me : ngyazibongela ,
nawe umuhle .

Ayanda : do you
mind being friends?
me : singazwana , I
don't do friendships .

Ayanda : why not ?

me : angazi , I'm not

good at it .
Ayanda : you've tried
?

she sat on the table ,

this one is too
comfortable yo .
efika nje umuntu
usekagibela
amatafuleni abantu
.

me : yea I have , alot

. I just can't do it .
Ayanda : okay , tell
me about yourself .

me : what do you
want to know , ask
me I will tell you .

Ayanda : are you

straight ?

me : yoww okay ,
yea I am . why ?
Ayanda : you don't
look straight at all .

me : what exactly do
looks matter in
sexuality?

dom kanti lo .

Ayanda : come on ,
literally everything
is obvious . I can tell
that you either
lesbian or bi , you
are toxic , mean & I
think you have
anger issues .

me : no I don't .

Ayanda : you don't

like girls or you don't
have anger issues ,
which is which ?
I am angry already .
me : both .

Ayanda : its okay if

you don't want to be
friends , or even
show me around ,
but give me a call
sometime , I will be
here for a while .

she took out a small

card & from her
pocket . it has her
number & her
physical adress &
she left on top of the
table .

wow , what a hoe .

she knows exactly
what she is & is she
was thinks she is . I
like that about her .

I took the card & I

put it behind my
phone in my phone
case .

insert 16 .

the bell rang for

afterschool , I saw
Ntwenhle here to
fetch her daughter . I
called an uber &
went home .

Thando is not yet

back , I called
Mandisa and we
spoke for a while ,
she said she will call
me when she gets
home .
I went to make
noodles with durban
curry while I was
doing that I got a call
from Bongeka .

phone call >>>

Bongeka : hello .

me : hey unjani?
Bongeka : ngyaphila
chommy , we want
to go to Shaka
Marine this weekend
.

me : you are inviting

me as well ?
Bongeka : yess .
me : okay . I will call
you on Friday to tell
you if I will come .
Bongeka : okay bye .
mcwaa .
I've missed my
friends so much ,
maybe I must be
with them . I will still
reconsider though .

I was eating noodles

& I remembered
Ayanda , I dial her
number and it rang
for 1 second .
Ayanda : I knew you
would call .

me : how did you

know it was me ?

Ayanda : I just know

its you come on .

me : yhu ay .
Ayanda : lets go out .
I was not even
suprised .

me : when?
Ayanda : tonight .

me : where to ?
Ayanda : anywhere
you'd like to go .
me : I already have
plans .
Ayanda : please don't
lie .
me : what makes you
think I'm lying ?

Ayanda : there is no
way you could call
me , I ask to take you
out masuthi when
masengyakutshela
ukuthi tonight
uphinde uthi ... ay
udlala ngami .
me : okay masambe
.
Ayanda : I will pick
you up at 7pm sharp
, please look nice .

me : okay how do
you know where ...

she drops the call

before I could tell
her my adress .
me : hawu lona .
I try calling her
again .

: you have reached

your voicemail
service ...

me : haibo . haibooo
, iyahlanyani
lentombazane .
hawu , cha ngaze
ngadideka mina
ukuthi kuyenzekani
lana .

its already 5 : 44pm ,

I decided on taking a
shower and Thando
walked in .

Thando : qo qo .
she knocks .

me : yea ?
she gives me my
phone .

phone call >>>

me : hello , unjani?
Mandisa : ngright
baby unjani ?
me : ngright .
ngsageza yazi .
Mandisa : indaba
uyaphi ?
me : I am going out
with my friends .
Mandisa : oh , really
?

me : yes , I was
going to tell you
though .

Mandisa : when ?
me : right now ,
around these times .

Mandisa : thats not a

joke .
me : I know , but I
was going to tell you
.

Mandisa : when is
what I asked .
masubuya khona ?
me : no , mese
ngisaya .
Mandisa : ukube
angifonanga?
me : bengzokfonela
nje mina .

Mandisa : okay athi

ngingayiphazamisik
e indlela
obuzowenza ngayo ,
ngoba uthi
ubusazongifonela
ungtshela .
ngzokulindake ufone
mese uyangtshela .

me : haw' Mandisa
okahle , yini manje
wamuncu ?

Mandisa : hawu
sengimuncu futhi
manje? yenza
ngendlela yakho .
I dropped the call & I
continued
showering .

when I was done I

made 2 slices of toast
for me & Thando ,
she walks in the
kitchen .

Thando : haibo ,
wanuka kamnandi
kangaka uyaphi ?
me : hawu ndawo ,
aksamele ngzinukele
kamnandi ngobani ?

Thando : ay
ngamatshe mtase ,
bengbuza .

me : ngyadlala I'm
going out with this
other girl , she's new
at work so she ...
Thando : hayii wena
! unamanga .
uMandisa uyayazi
leyonto ?

me : she doesn't have

to know nje .

Thando : Wandile
uwrong .
me : its just a date ,
nothing less nothing
more .
Thando : ngzokceba
mina .
me : wee ay wena
nalo sbari wakho .
ngsayogqokake
sekuyoshaya u7 vede
.

she claps her hands

saying " I give up " .
Thando : wehlule
mtase ayy
abakuyeke .
I laughed & went to
my room . I took out
my red dress , yo I
used to love this
dress so much .
its very short , nicely
designed & is
revealing my whole
back .

I took out my heels ,

I only have 1 pair of
heels , they are black
& red on the botton ,
I got them from Amo
for my birthday last
year .

I took my black
handbag , my phone
& lipgloss. my hair
looks fine , I combed
a little & sat in bed
waiting ... its 6:53pm
now , oh let me call
Mandisa .
it rings , it rings .

phone call >>>

me : hello .

Mandisa : sawubona
.

esephapha .
me : I am going out
with friends , I
wanted to let you
know .

Mandisa : oh ,
uzobuya nini ?
me : I am not quiet
sure .

Mandisa : can I come

fetch you mase
niqedile .
me : no , no no no .
sizohamba ngemoto
kaBongeka .

Mandisa : ow'kay , is
Thando going to be
there ?

me : cha .
Mandisa : alrights
then , ungifonele
masubuyile .
me : okay I will try .

*incoming call -
ayanda*

oh no , I have to
answer this .

Mandisa : no
ungazami nje , just
call me .
me : okay , bye bye .
mncwaa .

Mandisa : Wandile .
me : mmh ? sheshisa
.
Mandisa :
ngyakthanda baby .

I froze for a moment

.
me : ngyakthanda
nami , bye babe .
I immediatly ended
and answered
Ayanda's call .

Ayanda : usuready ?
me : yea , you want
the address ?
Ayanda : I am
actually outside your
gate .
I looked out the
window , ninamanga
! ayikho le
engyibona ngamehlo
ami .

me : hawu , okay
ngyeza .

I went to Thando's
room .
me : I'm out , don't
call me ne?
Thando : be safe , I
love you .

me : love you
moreee .
I ran to the door and
fixed myself , I went
out and locked with
my key .
I went to the gate &
she came out with
flowers , she was
wearing a very fine
black & white suit
like bekamuhle futhi
bimfanela , she has
long relaxed hair by
the way , she wears
glasses so she tired a
phondo to the back
and her glasses were
on .
so lit cause she
drives a range rover
, a big black and
white range rover .
she looked at my
body & I could see
ukuthi lomuntu is
undressing me with
just her eyes .

okay she gave me

the flowers & we
hugged .
Ayanda : wamuhle .
me : nawe umuhle
anje .
Ayanda : ay suka .

she opened the door

for me & I got inside
.

she also got in and

started driving .
I was busy on my
phone & she kept on
stealing glances at
me .

me : awushoke
ntokazi . ungisaphi ?
Ayanda : angeke
ngisho .

me : hawu kwamele
ngazi kanje .

she keeps quiet ,

kuthulakele nje la
emotweni , no music
, no nothing nje .

we finally got there

and its a very nice
place . angyazi mina
lendawo kodwa
yinhle .

we got inside & she

held my hand .
we got to sit down , I
am shaking yazi . I
have a bad feeling
ukuthi this won't
end well .

a waitress came
towards us .
waitress : good
evening , here are
the menu's . the lady
over there will take
your orders
*she points at
someone* I turned
my back to see her &
....

its Ntwenhle yes

Mandisa's sister .
hawema ngaze
ngasemasimbeni .
what am I going to
do ?
I started sweating
immediatly .
Ayanda : is
everything okay ?
why are you shaking
?

me : no , its just a bit

hot in here ? akshisi
? yo ngyashiselwa .
ngsaya ebathroom
order whatever you
want I will be back .

Ayanda :
kwenzenjani ngawe
?

I stood up quickly &

ran to the restroom .
ngaze nganestress
yesses . obviously
she will see me & tell
Mandisa , oh g0d I'm
dead .

I wash my hands
and puff puff my
face a little with the
water , I calmed
down & I walked out
.

I saw Ayanda talking

to Ntwenhle , ay its
fine . I went back to
the table .

me : hey , you've
ordered ?
Ayanda : look who I
just came across ?
me : oh you know
each other ?

Ntwenhle : yea
actually , we all went
to the same
highschool .

Ayanda : and your

sister ? Mandisa ,
where is she ?
Ntwenhle : ukhona ,
she is at home .
remember you too
used to go out ?

they both laughed , I

have never been this
irritated .
bengyenzelani nje
lento .

Ayanda : ey ngadlala
kodwa ngosis wakho
nami , ngyambona
ko instagram
useyashisa
uMandisa yezwa .
obokhonza kuye .

Ntwenhle :
usenentombi enhle
kanjani & akuve
eyithanda intombi
yakhe . kulungile
ngzokhonza . what
did you say you
want to order konje
?
she kept on starring
at me ngehlo elibi , I
felt guilty nampela .
I really shouldn't
have done this .

she took our orders

& while waiting for
the food , I was in
deep thoughts . my
mind zoomed out
and
bengisemhlabeni
wami ngedwa .

Ayanda : Wandile ?
Hello ?

I look at her .
me : yea ?

Ayanda : yini ?
ucabangani kangaka
?
me : lutho , lutho .
when is the food
coming again ?

Ayanda : angazi , in
a few minutes .

me : no I'm sorry .
my mind is not here
. I am just worried
about something .
Ayanda : khuluma
nami , yini leyo ?
me : something
personal .
Ayanda : khuluma
phela ngilana nawe
nje , I am willing to
listen .

she holds my hand

with both her hands
.
me : yazini its fine ,
kyekele . I will sort it
out .

Ayanda : no , ngfuna
ukuyazi nje .
me : akukhonto
eserious .
Ayanda : come on ?
me : yo Ayanda can
you just ?

sengikwatile
manjeke ,
ngikhathele futhi
nalokhukudla
aksafiki .

Ayanda : yo jeez , I'm

sorry . okay ?

me : no I'm sorry ,
can we just leave .
angsekho emoodini .
can we do this some
other time ?
Ayanda : okay
asambe .

we stood up & went

to take the food in a
parcel & she paid for
it and then we left .

we got inside the car

& my tears just
started falling , I
tried to hide the fact
that I was crying but
she was able to see it
.

Ayanda : haw ,
usuyakhala futhi
manje . what is
wrong kanti did I do
something wrong ?

me : no , I'm not
crying . its just ... its
just .
I am having a
mental breakdown .
she stops the car &
starts hugging me .

Ayanda : its okay , its

okay ssshhh . let me
just take you home
okay ?

I looked at her .
me : I don't want to
go home .
Ayanda : okay where
do you want to go ?

Ayanda : no shono .
me : where ever you
are are going .

we both smile & we

drive to her house .
she opens the gate
and greets the
securities . this
house is so big ,
uhlala emhlanga .
emasuburbsini , she
lives in a double
story .

me : uhlala wedwa ?
Ayanda : yea .
me : aw unamanga .
Ayanda : I am dead
serious . usuright ?
me : yea sengiright .
Ayanda : okay .

we hug and we walk

inside .

I take off my heels &

her tiles are so big
and clean . this
house is so fancy
especially for
umuntu ohlala
yedwa .
she shows me
around the house
and offers me a
drink .

me : tap water is fine

.
she gives me the
glass of water & I
drink .
me : your house is
nice .
Ayanda : thanks .

my phone rings , I
have a feeling its
Mandisa .
I take it out off my
handbag & I find its
her .
I ignore it & I switch
off my phone .

she takes off the top

of her suit & starts
starring and me .

me : yekela
ukungbuka .
Ayanda : why not ?

me : no , its
creepying me out .
I walked to the
sitting room & she
followed me . I then
sat on the sofa .

Ayanda : you have a

very nice body .
me : I know , kade
uqalile ukungbuka .
Ayanda :
awuzukbonga pho ?
me : cha .

I stood up again ,
angzazi nami
ngenzani . ngehla
ngyenyuka .

me : angazi . do you
have anything
alcholic la ?
Ayanda : yea .
she took out 2 bottles
of champagnes & we
started drinking non
stop & talking until I
felt a bit hyped up .

me : can you take me

home ?
Ayanda : okay .

she took her car keys

.
me : do you want to
have sex ?

she looks at me in
the eyes . I twisted
my legs and she
froze for a while .

me : okay you don't ?

lets go .

I turned the other

way to the door & I
felt her hands
pulling my arm .

Ayanda : do you
want to have sex ?

I looked at her , put

my arms on her neck
& she put her hands
on my waist .

I kissed and & she

kissed me back , we
continued kissing for
a very long time &
she breaks the kiss .

she pulls my hand

again & we head to
her bedroom .

she closes the door &

we both stare at
each other again .
I take off my dress &
I am left with only
my thong .

she looks at my body

& I lay on the bed
with my back , my
legs are closed & I
am starring at the
ceiling .

she came towards

me , got on top off
me & started kissing
. the kiss was going
on for a very long
time . she kept
touching my boobs &
kissing my neck .

she then kissed my

boobs and went all
the way down to my
stomach , she looked
at me & I nodded .

she took off my

penty & kissed my
virgina . she opened
my legs and looked
at me again .

me : yes .
she got in with her
face inside me , I felt
the walls breaking .
she muffed my
virgina and made
sure .

she went on it again

.
I moarned my lungs
out .
me : ahh , Aya'ah ,
mmh . ayanda aar'
ah .

I pulled the white

sheets with my
hands & she didn't
stop , she muffed my
clit again & I felt that
I was in my own
world , kowami
umhlaba .

she stopped and got

on top of me again ,
she looked at me .
she kissed me while
her finger was
rubbing my clit , rub
after rub until she
slowly inserted 1
finger .
I broke the kiss and I
moarned again "
ahhh , aarh , mhh ,
fuckkk ! ah "

Ayanda : sssshhh .
she kissed me again ,
I taste very nice
sengyezwa nami .

she continues
kissing & inserts 1
finger again .
me : mmh , aahhh ,
aaar'
Ayanda : ssh ,

I nodded but I can't

be silent she's too
good .
me : mmh ; mh ,
mmhh .
she rubs my clit
again & looks at me .
Ayanda : ngiqhubeke
?
I nodded .

she inserts 2 fingers

now & my body
started shaking , my
eyes rolled & I
starting screaming
her name .
me : AYA' AAAHH .
AHHH YANDA AAH !
AAR AHH , MMHHH
, FUCKKK !

she smiles and kisses

me one last time .

me : go down again .
she kisses my boobs ,
all the way to my
virgina and gets to it
again .
I was grabbing the
sheets like its
nobody's business ,
she muffed me and I
finally came .

we were both
smiling & she also
laid on the bed
facing the ceiling .

me : that was fun .

Ayanda : that was so
amazing .
me : kwaze
kwamnandi .

we both laughed &

held hands .

Ayanda : you want to

sleep over ?
me : yea .
we smiled . she also
got naked & we got
under the blanket
and laid in each
others arms .

insert 17 .
I woke up in
Ayanda's chest ,
what the fuck
happened last night
?
me : Ayanda !
Ayanda !
I woke her up .

Ayanda : mm ?
me : vuka what time
is it ?

she checked on her

phone .
Ayanda : its 08 : 23
am .
me : unamanga ! noo
, emsebenzini?
Ayanda : its a
saturday .

oh no , I was so
stressed .
me : I have to leave .

Ayanda : can I take

you home?
I quickly got dressed
, my dress on & I
can't find my thong .
I took my bag & my
phone .

I switched it on .
- 37 missed calls .
- 81 messages .

angsafuni nokubona
ukuthi obani
bafunani . I
requested an uber
fast .

Ayanda : uzohamba
nje kanjalo ?

me : no , listen thank
you . last night was
amazing but
ngshadile mina ne ?

Ayanda : ushadile ?
nobani ?
me : angazi , I took
my heels and I ran
out .

I went to the gate ,

the securities were
looking at me &
finally the uber
came .

I got inside and

greeted .
he dropped me at
home & I knocked , I
couldn't find my
keys .

me : fuck where are

my keys kanti .
Thando !

she openes for me &

she was so angry .
me : hey , ngyabonga
.
she ignores me .
me : hawu Thando
ngyaxolisa .

Thando : uxolisa
kumuntu owrong ,
uMandisa came here
4 times knocking for
you . she told me her
sister saw you , ay
uyathanda
ukuyiphoxa . unuka
ngisho utshwala .
me : ah okay psshh .

I backed her off and

went to my room
and charged my
phone .

I went to shower &

when I was done I
got dressed . no last
night was amazing .
like the sex was good
I know Mandisa
knows my in's and
out's but uAyanda
mastered my body .

I am wearing a
onesie , and I finally
got to my phone . I
dialled to Mandisa &
its ringing .

phone call >>>

it went to voicemail
so I decided to leave
a message .

me : hey baby , I
hope you good . I
miss you so much & I
love you so much .
please call me when
you get this .
I ended the call .

I can't believe I
cheated on her so
bad & she knows . I
know she hates and
wants to break up
with me but I won't
allow us to break up
.

I slept and woke up

hours later , its 6 : 24
pm . ibhabhalazi
ibisho . I checked my
phone .

a whatsapp message
from Ayanda " last
night was lit , can we
go on again?" I
replied "okay come
fetch me now" .

I think me &
Mandisa are over
now , she blocked
me on all platforms .

I brushed my teeth &

wore a short and a
hoodie , I waited by
the gate & Ayanda
arrived .

I got inside the car .

me : siyaphike today
?
Ayanda : ngfuna
siyodakwa .
me : okay asamba
siye eyadini .

we drove there and

we set on table , we
first got ciders & we
drank alot of
savanna . my head is
tired but let me pour
all my problems to
this .
Ayanda : asambe
sodansa !
we laughed .

me : weeee
uyakwazi ukudansa
wena?
Ayanda : awungazi .

we got out from the

table and we started
dancing , the dj
played kilimanjaro ,
zotata , everyday is
party , pabi cooper ,
imali eningi . all
these songs drove
me crazy and we
were grooving . yo
ngimnandi
ngidakwe nginje .

we took pictures and

videos with Ayanda's
phone
its almost 1am , I left
my phone home . yo
nkosiyami I miss
Mandisa . my
Mandisa .

me : asambeni
manje ngeke
ngikhathele .

Ayanda : to my
house?
me : yea , I will drive
.
Ayanda : kanjani
sidakwe kanje ?
me : asambeni
uzobona .

Ayanda : eh okayyyy
.
she gave me the keys
& we went to the car
.

I got inside & started

the car .
kusebsuku yo &
ngiyezela , I was
driving very nicely
yoo and were
singing .

I played mina nawe ,

ngaze ngagowa .
we both sang :
kukho konke
esidlule kukho ,
izivungu vungu
zavela , koduthando
lwabekezela..
its starting to rain
very hard kodwa
vele sesizofika , we
are on our last
robbot & traffic is
bad .

Ayanda : WANDILE
!!!
*hoots* the car slides
and rolls 2 times ,
my head started
bleeding as the car
continued sliding in
the car and crashed
into a truck .

I saw blur , my
world my upside
down & my body
was in pain . I closed
my eyes & they
opened again . they
closed again .
THE END .
wrote by : Snee
Mtshali .