SDA

BEFORE YOU SAY “I DO” (By Andrew and Diane )

Before you say “I DO” be sure you can. The session focused on key ways of building the “I” to be in a position to
utter those words.

Steps on how to build the ' I'

Below are 5 things that make a person authentic :

1. Transparency

 Be real. Talk about facts in a positive way .

 Have clear preferences and opinions

 Set your values and goals.

 Be free to talk about your fears and failures. You earn people's respect by sharing your success but you earn
people's love by sharing your failures.

Discretion is needed though in what we share. The process that can help guide on what we can share with others
as we build a relationship - Start with discussing Facts (chitchats), then sharing Preferences and opinions, then
Value and Goals -Vision, then having built the relationship Fears & Failures.

 Be aware of what is going around in your day to day life .e.g watch news to get awareness of what is
happening.

2. Consistency

The best predictor of what a person will do today is readily known by what they did yesterday and in the past.
Don’t ignore your history, rather assess it.

 Having track of the past activities will help you check on your consistency.

 Don’t ignore your history because it has an impact on your current decisions.

 At least have a to do list. It will help you achieve your plans ,save time and a manage resources.

 What the person IS, is more important that what they SAY.

 At times you may accept weakness but never tolerate wickedness.

 Always investigate and do a background check whenever you can to avoid filters and lies.

NOTE:Good works store up and show up. Be in charge of your life.

Practical Work: Assess what you have been doing wrong and what you can improve on.
3.Influence

Build a good example to those around you .

Build up before saying I do. (Genesis 24:1 (KJV) And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age: and the LORD had
blessed Abraham in all things.) Abraham only ventured to Isaac marry only to the right person as he understood
the stakes involved in Isaac finding a partner approved of God.

What we believe becomes what we live.

Have self discipline, this can also be defined as - reducing the time between awareness and action.

-Love respects duty always.

NOTE: You may more easily resist someone’s influence before they become a close friend, once they do, it is way
harder.

Practical Work: Examine who have been the examples around you, evaluate at least 6 of these individuals and
what their influence has been on one another.

4. Competency

Youth is sowing time! What competencies are you building up now? Are you planning to further your studies,
learn to play an instrument? Gather up competencies!

Men : Be competent to prominent leadership .(Ephesians 5:23 (KJV) For the husband is the head of the wife, even
as Christ is the head of the church)

:Be able to provide ideas. Be wise in decision making.

:Be emotionally intelligent.

:Have financial competence" Avoid being opaque with your money "

:Be well groomed.

Ladies: Guard you tongue. For a wise woman builds her home but a fool brings it down with her own
hands.(Proverbs 10:21 (KJV) The lips of the righteous feed many,Proverbs 15:4 (KJV) A wholesome tongue is a tree
of life.)

:Know how to cook and set up a home .

: Know how to, earn money, save it and use it.

:Look good and orderly.

Tips on how to assess Competency

-Know your future and have plans . (Everything by nature slowly drifts off-course and needs time after time to be
corrected to keep on course)

- Expect winds as long as you are in the ship.

-Evaluate your consistency.

NOTE:

Practical Work: Do you know where you are supposed to go, where are you headed? Assess you course and adjust
where needful.

5. Completion

-Check on your relationship with people below and above you (bosses and subordinates).

-Ask other people - third party attestation.

- Look good ,check on your outward appearance.

- Have detailed information on the task that you are about to get into ." The DO".