EMOTIONLESS-COLD(INTJ)

IN 16 WAYS

EMOTIONLESS-COLD
(INTJ)
5W8
ENNEAGRAM
How to Be Emotionless: 16 Ways to Lose Feelings & Gain Control

You can learn how to be emotionless and heartless using these

steps. But there are healthier alternatives to being cold-hearted and
live a better life too!

Table of Contents
It’s a strange place to be in, isn’t it? Wanting to know how to be
emotionless and cold? On one hand, we have psychopaths and
narcissists at one end of the spectrum who can’t empathize or
experience normal feelings. And on the other hand, we have you,
on the other end of the spectrum, wanting to learn ways to feel
heartless and become emotionless.
It’s possible, and we’ll show you how to be emotionless and harden
your heart like a rock. But where is this pain coming from?
Why would someone who is gifted with empathy, love and
emotions want to throw it all away to turn into a zombie without
emotions?
Why you’re hurting and why it’s okay to feel hurt
Everybody hurts. And when that happens, we feel stupid and weak,
and helpless. And you’d be willing to do anything to never feel this
way again.
Is it because of your lover? Is it your friends who made you feel
weak and stupid? Or is it someone at work? Or life, perhaps?
You need to remember that some of us are more sensitive than
others, and that’s okay. It’s a gift of empathy and feelings you need
to be proud of having.
Experiencing feelings deeply doesn’t make you weak. It’s what
makes you a good friend, lover and an overall better human being.
Yes, the world may be more shallow and narcissistic these days,
and everyone focuses more on the superficial than real feelings.
But do you really want to be one of them?
[Read: How to get over feeling unwanted in life and start feeling
desirable again]
You’re sensitive, and you should love yourself for it
Remember this, you’re not too sensitive if you get hurt by someone
else’s actions. Calling you “sensitive” is an excuse shitty people use
when they want to hurt you and expect you to just accept it.
If you want to be happy, allow yourself to feel these emotions
instead of trying to learn how to be emotionless.
But on the other hand, if you do think you’re really sensitive and
find yourself taking offense for the smallest of reasons, here’s
something you need to check out – How to stop being so sensitive
all the time. It can help you understand what makes you sensitive
and how you can overcome it.
People care, they just pretend they don’t!
Before you go learning how to be emotionless below, here’s an
honest truth you should know. Everyone cares! Everyone is
emotional!
But they just hide it really well behind a veil of nonchalance. Do
you ever wonder why so many of us spend every free minute
furiously scrolling through the same apps, watching Netflix or
staying distracted on social media?
That’s because any time left to ourselves and our own minds makes
us think and feel emotions. And people don’t want to do that.
Instead, they just want to distract themselves and pretend their
house isn’t on fire when the world around them is burning.
You feel emotions, so it means you’re able to connect with your
thoughts without being distracted by them, and that’s a good thing
to feel!
[Read: Why you feel unloved and the different ways to fix it
yourself]
The first step in learning how to lose your strong emotions
There are some of us who are just more sensitive than others.
Being highly emotional is a difficult way to go through life. Feeling
like you are on an emotional roller coaster all of the time is not
only tiring, it can leave you feeling lost.
If you are someone who takes things to heart easily, don’t worry,
you can learn how to be emotionless when it is called for.
The key is to know when to invest the energy and when just to let it
go. We’ll share the best ways you can use below.
And as much as you’re using this guide to stop having emotions
and grow a cold heart, always remember that having emotions is a
good thing, as long as you can control it and your emotions don’t
hurt others.
How to be emotionless and cold hearted
Emotions are pretty powerful things when used for the right
reasons. If you have a hard time with them overpowering you, it
can leave you feeling drained and in a constant state of stress.
1. Cut your empathy down

Empathy is a very important part of humanity, but being overly

empathetic can leave you feeling like a weeping wound.
There are things that you can feel for other people, and then there
are times when you have to reserve feelings for yourself and your
own situation.
You can’t possibly take the weight of the world on your shoulders,
so don’t let everyone else’s misfortune weigh down on you so
heavily. [Read: 20 signs you’re a people pleaser and just don’t know
it]
2. Stop being everyone’s counselor
When you are an emotional person, you have a tendency to put
more thought and concern into other people.

That can leave you feeling like a counselor to everyone you know.
Because you are a good listener and care deeply for others, it
canfeel like all of your emotional energy is being spent helping out
your friends and family members.
If you want to know how to be emotionless, sometimes, you just
have to not answer the phone or not be the one who drops
everything to help someone through their emotional crisis. Likely,
you have enough on your own emotional plate. [Read: 16 signs
you’re being taken for granted by the ones you love]

3. Stop internalizing

When someone is in a bad mood or does something to you,

emotional people have a tendency to take it on themselves or to
internalize it. That can leave you with a whole lot of unresolved
feelings, continual guilt, and doubt about who you are.
If someone is being crappy, rude, or downright nasty *and you
haven’t done anything*, release them with love.
You can’t be responsible for other people’s feelings or rude
behavior. If you haven’t done anything wrong to them, then that is
on them.
4. Avoid socially stressful situations

If you are a social-phobe, don’t stick yourself into situations that are
going to provoke high stress. Being emotional makes it more difficult
to be in tense or stressful social situations.
If you know that going to a family wedding is going to let out your
emotional monsters, then skip it. You don’t have to do things that
aren’t good for you. [Read: Too empathetic? How to detach yourself
and have a better life]
5. Put yourself first

For some people, hearing someone else’s emotional turmoil is

cathartic. To those who are full of emotion, it can be like an endless
roller coaster.
If you are the person who puts everyone and their emotional needs
above you, then it is time to make an oath to put yourself first.
People who are highly emotional have a hard time investing in
their own well-being. You don’t have to be super human or put
others before you. When you want to know how to be emotionless,
you have to put your own needs above others’ in your life.

6. Try to listen without feelings

Emotional people have a tendency to insert themselves into a situation

and navigate it imaginarily through emotions to check out all angles.
If you have a problem, step back, and out, to see what is going on
rationally, instead of trying to figure out the emotions of it.
Seeing a problem is much easier when you take all the feeling out of
the scenario. It also saves you a whole lot of wasted emotional energy.
7. Break up with drama

If you have someone in your life who is continually putting you

over the emotional edge, then that may be more toxins than you
need in life. Some people like to be the martyr and create drama to
get attention.
They often turn to people in their lives who care, and that is likely
you. If you have someone who always seems to be in crisis mode,
stop letting them use your emotional energy to get their fill.
It is okay to cut someone loose if they are demanding too much of
your energy. They will find someone else to listen to their woes and
problems, and you won’t find yourself being sucked in.
Drama queens want all the drama, but they never want to take
steps to change their situation. They just use your emotional energy
to fulfill their needs and then walk home happy as a clam, leaving
you in their wake until they need their fill again. Ditch ‘em!
8. Clean your surroundings

You may wonder how learning to be emotionless has anything to

do with the clutter on your table or in your house. But it does play a
big part.
When you’re surrounded by clutter and find yourself unorganized,
your mind stays unorganized, your thoughts are muddled and
confused. Every waking minute is filled with confusion and chaos
instead of a streamlined thought flow.
Clear the clutter in your life, and your mind will feel clear. You’d
feel more in control of your life, and less controlled by your
emotions. Inner peace is everything when it comes to getting a grip
on your emotions.
9. Avoid helplessness

This may be caused because of work, your relationship, or your

friendships. But if there’s a part of your life that makes you feel
overwhelmed by emotions in a negative way, it’s time to cut them
out. You may be sensitive, but that doesn’t give anyone in your life
the excuse to treat you like dirt.
When you feel helpless, you start to feel more emotional and
distressed. Avoid the people who make you feel helpless, and
regain control over your life again. Y
ou’ll find that learning how to be emotionless comes easier when
you own your own feelings, instead of letting someone else control
it.
10. Seeking validation from others

No one knows you better than you. And yet, do you constantly go
seeking validation from others to make yourself feel better?
Love yourself, focus on yourself and believe in yourself. If the number
of social media likes or how many friends you had around you on your
birthday defines how emotionally happy you are, that’s a recipe for
disaster. [Read: When your friends don’t wish you happy birthday –
The power play games they’re trying]
As hard as it is, don’t rely on others to create the happiness in your life.
Love yourself and learn to create happiness from within. Do this, and
it’ll help you control your emotions a lot better.

11. Apologizing and obsessing

Do you apologize to others all the time, for the smallest slights? Do
you find yourself obsessing over some mistake you did, even if it’s
something the other person doesn’t care about? Maybe now is the
time to learn to stop apologizing for things that aren’t directly in
your control.
When you apologize for everything, you take the blame for
everything that goes wrong. And that makes you more emotional,
guilty, and sad.
Own responsibility for the mistakes you make, but stop believing
that everyone deserves an apology because you choose to put
yourself first for once.
12. Implosive anger

Do you hold everything that upsets you inside, until you can’t hold
it anymore and then explode? Of course, if you’re doing this, you’d
want to learn how to be emotionless!
But you need to ask yourself here, do you want to be emotionless,
or do you need to learn how to express your emotions better?
If you can learn to speak your mind, honestly and politely, in the
first place, there would have been no reason for you to build your
rage to the point where you have to lose it!
Sometimes, it isn’t about learning how it be emotionless, it’s more
about learning how to express your emotions better.
13. Distract yourself momentarily

We’ve mentioned earlier that people use distractions to stop feeling

emotions, and that’s a bad thing. But sometimes, 30 minutes of a
healthy distraction can help you calm down and collect your
thoughts.
Remember, when you’re trying to figure out how to be emotionless,
what you really want to know is how to stop feeling the pain of
those emotions. So a healthy distraction can be a good escape, as
long as you use it wisely.
14. Meditate

Yoga kicks ass when it comes to controlling your feelings and

emotions. Not into yoga? Just sit down anywhere you’re
comfortable, set the timer on your phone for 10 minutes, close your
eyes and breathe deeply.
Literally, that’s all you need to do to start feeling in control again,
and lose all the chaotic emotions you feel right now! [Read: 14
really quick stress busters to quickly recharge your mind and feel
peace]
15. Don’t give power to unhealthy thoughts

We’re human, we can think. But that doesn’t mean every thought
that passes through your mind is healthy for you.
Self-deprecation, self-hate, feeling like a loser, or hating yourself
for feeling too emotional – these are the thoughts you don’t ever
have to believe in, or give power to.
Every time you think something negative about yourself, say
something positive using your words to give strength to yourself
and your self-belief.

16. Let go of control

This is very important when learning how to become emotionless.

Why do we become emotionless in the first place?
It’s because something doesn’t go according to our plans. You
imagine a scenario in your mind, and someone else screws it up
and destroys your perfectly-built fantasy.
When you try to control your surroundings, or the people in your
life, it’s inevitable that you’re going to feel more emotional. You’re
depending on others to keep you emotionally stable. How can that
work when every human has their own thoughts, desires and there
own dreams to follow? Go with the flow, let go of control, and you
won’t feel the need to feel emotionless.
Learning to be emotionless and heartless vs. Learning to control
and understand your emotions
Being emotional is something that some people are born with, but
others lack it.
If you are someone who admires the person who can walk away
without a care in the world, who lacks empathy, and puts
themselves first, there are things you can do to cut back on the
emotions that you expend. You can stop the energy you put out and
the continual roller coaster you find yourself on.
The good news is that although you feel for everyone else, and it can
seem like a curse, it isn’t all bad. Feelings are good things, as is being
empathetic.
If you use your emotional energy in the right way, it can end up
making not just everyone else feel good, but also yourself.
If you want to know how to be emotionless, it is all about learning
when you should invest and when to shut it out. You can learn to be
Vless emotional and more in control of your feelings while still being
the person you were meant to be!