Language III

Children's Imaginary Friends: What

to Know
Written by Victoria Hamilton
Medically Reviewed by Jabeen Begum, MD on December 02, 2021

What Is an Imaginary Friend?

Imaginary friends can be other children, mythical creatures, animals, a toy that
has come to life, or any other kind of imaginary companion. In most cases, you
don’t need to worry about your child if they have a made-up friend. Creating a
buddy is something fun for them to do, especially because these companions are
always available to play with them.
As children reach their second and third year of life, their imaginations expand,
and they’re able to play pretend. Many children know that these friends don’t
actually exist, but they experience real feelings of comfort thanks to the
friendship.
Studies show that around 65% of kids had imaginary friends at some point before
they turned seven. Toddlers and young children are open and vocal about their
made-up companions, but the same study showed that this isn't the only
"imaginary friend age:" School-aged kids are just as likely to have imaginary
friends.

How Long Do Imaginary Friends Last?

There’s no way to tell how long a made-up friend will last. Your child will stop
playing with them when they’re ready. Many children keep imaginary friends
around for several months, but they could play an important role in your child’s
life for a few years.

Why Do Kids Have Imaginary Friends?

Some parents assume that if their child has an imaginary friend, they’re lonely,
stressed, or having similar struggles. This isn’t always the case! You might
wonder, "Why do kids have imaginary friends?" Children can develop invisible
friends to practice their new social skills or to process the things they see and
experience.
Your child might create an imaginary companion to:

• Listen to and support them

• Play with them
• Do things that they can’t do
• Be someone special that only belongs to them
• Be someone who doesn’t judge or find fault in them

What Are the Benefits of Imaginary Friends?

In addition to readily available companionship, there are many benefits of
imaginary friends for children and parents. Some of these benefits include:

• Improved problem-solving skills

• Opportunity to explore ideas
• Improved management of emotions
• Opportunity to exercise new behaviors and roles
• A comfortable avenue for starting difficult conversations with your child
• A means of easing your child through tough transitions and routines

Children who have imaginary friends are less likely to be shy or struggle with
loneliness. One of the benefits of imaginary friends is that kids also tend to be
more creative and confident than kids who don’t have make-believe friends.
Another benefit of imaginary friends is the insight it gives you into your child’s
mind. By watching your child interact with an invisible friend, you can learn more
about what they think, what they feel, what they like, and what they don’t like.

When Do Imaginary Friends Become a Problem?

Most of the time, having pretend friends isn’t anything to worry about. If you
notice other signs that your child isn’t developing like you think they should, try
setting boundaries. Initially, you should support your child as they create a
relationship with their invisible friend. They’ll feel respected and loved as you ask
them questions about what their made-up companion is doing and play along
with their stories.
When do imaginary friends become a problem? If you notice that your child is
blaming their imaginary friend for things they do, such as wasting food or
disrupting family interactions, you can try setting boundaries. For example, if
your child wants your friend to join in at family dinner, it’s OK to serve them a
plate. It’s not OK to throw that food away at the end of the meal because your
child doesn’t want someone else to eat it.
Warning signs that an imaginary friend may be negatively affecting your child’s
development could look like:

• Extreme anxiety when around other children

• Repeatedly telling their imaginary friend about traumatic experiences in
detail
• Constant hurtful or unacceptable actions they blame on their make-believe
companion or their influence
• Fear of their imaginary friend
• Unexplained change in your child’s eating or sleeping habits
• Having an imaginary friend beyond age 12

If your child is showing these or other concerning signs, get in touch with their
doctor. Your child’s habits and behavior will change as they grow up, but there
could be psychological issues or other underlying causes at play.