Divorce: Its Causes, Effects on Children, and Mitigation Techniques

Christian Strayer

ENC 2135

Ms. Olivia Samimy

18 February 2024
 With a current national rate of around 50% in the United States, divorce is becoming a

very prevalent aspect of American society. Divorce, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is the action

of or an instance of legally dissolving a marriage. Various studies have shown that it can have its

pros and cons. Although it can serve as an alternative to an unhealthy union, it can also have

detrimental effects, especially for children who are products of it. With divorce comes many

intricacies and nuanced conversations. Why is divorce seen as a suitable option for many,

opposed to therapy? What are the various causes of divorce- are there commonalities or are there

too many reasons to measure? How can it affect children- from their mental to emotional to

physical health? Why do certain children react the way they do, as do certain factors alter a

child’s reaction? How can the negative effects be mitigated as much as possible? All of these

questions and more are routinely asked by spouses, children, and researchers looking into the

issue. Ultimately, as evident through multiple studies, divorce has been shown to carry the

potential for detrimental impacts, such as strained relationships, poor grades, and “acting out”

behavior, which can be examined, along with the causes and potential fixes to the growing issue

of an ever more standard aspect of American culture. A complex issue, divorce is sometimes seen

as a suitable solution for a marriage dissolution, has many diverse causes, multiple affects on

children, can have various factors affecting the outcome, and can be migrated in some instances.

It is very clear that the term divorce carries a lot of stigma with it. Overall, the term and

process carries a very negative reputation. Couples who decide to go through with the process

are often subject to outside judgement, as the common perception is that couples who once

choose to take the faithful vow of becoming committed to each other should remain so, no matter

what happens after exchanging vows. According to a study done by Psych Central, evidence is

lacking that an attempt at separation prior to ultimately getting a divorce will work, and
progression to divorce after separation is quite likely anyway (Gillette, 2022). In many cases,

divorce is seen as inevitable. That is not to negate the fact that every situation has nuance, as

other research has shown that separation can be beneficial. However, it is unconclusive that

separation prevents divorce, hence why it is seen as an option for many struggling in their

marriage. Also from the same study, it has become apparent that rather or not a marriage can

have the capacity to survive depends on characteristics such as communicating, maintaining

intimacy, and being empathic. If these are missing, the marriage can began to fumble (Gillette,

2022). This shows it is less about divorce vs separation as options, and more about what the

individual circumstances are in the relationship. Skills such as communication, intimacy, and

empathy are shown to be the biggest benefactors- if they are lacking, divorce may be an option.

Regarding the initiation of divorce, various studies have shown that there is not one

universal cause of divorce. In fact, there are many diverse causes. According to the most recent

large-scale national survey conducted in 2005 regarding leading causes of divorce, the top 12

causes include “lack of commitment, constant arguing or conflict, infidelity, marrying too young,

unrealistic expectations about partner or marriage, inequality between partners, inadequate

preparation for marriage, domestic violence, financial problems, conflict about domestic work,

lack of family support, and religious differences” (Gillette, 2022). Some of these have more

concrete solutions and are easier to fix than others. However, understanding the causes can

potentially help stop them from occurring. These issues can sometimes be addressed by therapy

or other related means. In another study, it is clear that there are numerous causes of divorce,

including but being limited to issues such as lifestyle incompatibility and actions one or more

partners take that the other may deem as inappropriate. (Gillette, 2022). This study maintains the

same result- that there are many diverse reasons for divorce. Additionally, there are various
outcomes stemming from the various reasons for the dissolution of a marriage, including

“feelings of grief, sadness, anger, betrayal, guilt, and shame” (Perkel, 2022). This showcases

other reasons for differences that are more abstract and deal with more emotions and feelings.

Overall, studies show that multiple negative outcomes play a role in causing a divorce to occur.

Unfortunately, it is the children that are products of divorce that often face the worst

outcomes. There are many effects of divorce on children, known as common effects. It was

found that it is more common for children who come from divorced parents to have poor

relationships with their mothers and fathers, as opposed to children whose parents remained

together. (Kalmijn, 2013). Through this, it is quite apparent that the ability of a child to maintain

a positive or a set of positive parental relationships is hindered by divorce. In addition, children

that come from divorced parents can experience a range of issues such as problems with bad

behavior and deteriorating mental health, as well as failing “academic performance and risk-

taking behaviors” (Morin, 2022). These effects are wide-ranging and can be detrimental. The

effects span many aspects of an individual child’s life. Furthermore, in some cases children can

choose to resent their father to maintain their mother’s safety, causing difficulty for the child to

maintain a good relationship with the other parent without hindering their relationship with the

former (Perkel, 2022). This is a very interesting development, as it really shows the mental

impact of divorce, as it even has impacts on a child’s cognitive process and their relationship

with their parents.

Many factors can impact a child’s reaction to divorce. These factors include age, home-

life, and income. According to a new study, regardless of gender, divorce can affect the parent-

child relationship (Kalmijn, 2013). This means that there was no clearly indicated difference in

the way females or daughters reacted to their parent’s divorce, and the way males or sons reacted
to their parent’s divorce. Another factor that can modify the effects of divorce is what level of

education their mother and/or father obtained (Mandemakers & Kalmijn, 2014). The study

showed that children from low-income households tend to suffer more strains than children from

middle or high-income households. Additionally, age has been shown to affect how a child

reacts, as “young children often struggle to understand why they must go between two homes,

grade school children may worry that the divorce is their fault, and teenagers may become quite

angry about a divorce and the changes it creates” (Morin, 2022). It appears that it is difficult for

young children to fully grasp the scope of the situation. Once cognizant enough, it becomes

difficult for the child to not blame themselves, even though divorces are not the fault of the

children. Finally, for teenagers anger issues are evident as another effect on older children.

Following a divorce “to understand the disparities in children’s adjustment, it is important to

consider additionally that children function in different life domains, including school,

friendships, leisure, and family” (Van der Wal et al, 2019). This reiterates that many diverse

factors play a role in how different children can react differently.

Finally, it is important to focus on mitigating the effects of divorce on children. For

children who are struggling to adjust, strategies that can help reduce the impact of divorce

include “co-parenting peacefully, avoiding putting kids in the middle, maintaining healthy

relationships, using consistent discipline, monitoring adolescents closely, empowering your

children, teaching coping skills, helping kids feel safe, seeking parent education, and getting

professional help” (Morrin, 2022). All of these mitigation strategies can help play a role in

making sure a child has as positive of an experience as possible after the divorce. According to

Psychology Today study, parents seeking to mitigate the negative affects of divorce while

preserving a good relationship with their children should seek to maintain a good relationship
with their ex-partner, as they are their child’s other parent. (Perkel, 2022). Maintaining a good

relationship between both spouses may be one of the most important ways to maintain good

relationships between parents and children, as well as reduce feelings of resentment.

Ultimately, divorce has many nuances, from effects and mitigation to unique

causes and reactions/circumstances. It is a real-life issue that affects so many, so research into,

particularly mitigation, can help the lives of so many children and parents going through divorce.

Divorce is not going to go away on its own, nor are the negative effects, but they can be reduced.

Divorce rates are only expected to continue to grow, so the only way to prevent even more harm

is understanding as much of the process as possible, as knowing what the causes are and how to

help those who go through it be the only way to pause the damage caused and help eliminate it in

the future.
 Works Cited

Gillette, H. (2022, October 25). The top 12 reasons for divorce. PsychCentral.

https://psychcentral.com/relationships/top-reasons-for-divorce

Kalmijn, M. (2013). Long-Term effects of divorce on parents—child relationships: within-family

comparisons of fathers and mothers. European Sociological Review, 29(5), 888-898.

https://www.jstor.org/stable/24479835

Mandemakers, J.J., Kalmijn, M. (2014). Do mother’s and father’s education condition the impact of

parental divorce on child well-being? Social Science Research, 44(1), 187-199.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0049089X13001646?via%3Dihub

Morin, A. (2022, December 22). The psychological effects of divorce on children. VeryWellFamily.

https://www.verywellfamily.com/psychological-effects-of-divorce-on- kids-4140170

Perkel, J. (2022, August 4). The Impact of Divorce on Children. Psychology Today.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/21st-century-childhood/202208/the-impact-divorce-

children

Van der Wal R.C., Finkenauer C., Visser M.M. (2019). Reconciling Mixed Findings on Children’s

Adjustment Following High-Conflict Divorce. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 28(2), 468-

478. https://www.proquest.com/docview/2130180861?
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