Bound by more than birth

For some people, the members of their family are the first people to see them. The connectedness of the
family is made to foster a child’s individuality. While fostering individuality allows each member to flourish,
nurturing connectedness creates a sense of belonging and support. The family, a fundamental part of society and
ourselves, thrives on a delicate balance between those two seemingly opposing forces: individuality and
connectedness.

According to Linda and David Bell, the family creates a primary reality for children and adolescents as they
absorb their family’s culture. The relationship between family members, especially between the parents, contributes
to the health and well-being of the child. However, a child’s individual relationships with the members of their
family directly influences the person they become later in adulthood. As humans, we have a fundamental need to be
cherished and nurtured (McAdams, 1989.) The attachments we create with others shapes our own self.

Individuality allows children to discover their unique talents and passions. By fostering individuality,
families create a space for exploration and celebrate differences. This allows children to discover their passions, as
well as their beliefs and values. A family composed of members with different passions fosters the practice of
acceptance and empathy.

However, individuality shouldn't come at the expense of connectedness. As I said earlier, the family unit
thrives on a delicate balance between individuality and connectedness.Families that prioritize individual pursuits
above all else risk creating a sense of isolation. Imagine a family where everyone eats dinner at separate times,
absorbed in their own devices. This lack of connection can be detrimental to the emotional well-being of everyone
involved. Shared meals, game nights, shopping dates, or vacation trips create fundamental memories between
families. These experiences tie the family closer, creating a sense of unity and fostering a feeling of "we" along with
the sense of "me."

But all of this would cease to exist without clear and honest communication. People tend to overlook the
intensity of casual conversations. Parents, children, and siblings often make the mistake of assuming the other’s
feelings. This unhealthy habit is what leads to the development of fights and hurt feelings. Open and honest
communication allows family members to express their needs and desires. Parents can understand their children's
passions and aspirations, while children can learn the importance of family traditions and values. By openly
discussing individual needs and goals, families can create a space where everyone feels heard and respected,
strengthening the bonds of connectedness.

In conclusion, individuality and connectedness are not mutually exclusive in the family, but rather two
sides of the same coin. By nurturing both, families create an environment where each member can flourish while
also feeling a strong sense of belonging. As Maya Angelou beautifully stated, "We are all a little weird and life's a
little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in
mutual weirdness and call it love." This sentiment perfectly captures the essence of a strong family – a place where
individuality is celebrated, connection is fostered, and love thrives in the beautiful home made with empathy and
compassion.
References:
“(PDF) Individuation in Family Relationships:A Perspective on Individual Differences in the Development of
Identity and Role-Taking Skill in Adolescence.” ResearchGate, ResearchGate, 2024,
www.researchgate.net/publication/307632682_Individuation_in_family_relationshipsA_perspective_on_individual_
differences_in_the_development_of_identity_and_role-taking_skill_in_adolescence. Accessed 28 Apr. 2024.
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“(PDF) Effects of Family Connection and Family Individuation.” ResearchGate, ResearchGate, 2024,
https://doi.org/10.1080//14616730903132263. Accessed 28 Apr. 2024.
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“The Experience of Family in Japan and the United States: Working with the Constraints Inherent in Cross-Cultural
Research | Request PDF.” ResearchGate, ResearchGate, 2024, https://doi.org/10.3138//jcfs.35.3.351. Accessed 28
Apr. 2024.