Games Men Play: Understanding Male Deception

thepowermoves.com/courses/power-university/lessons/dating-seduction-women/topic/games-men-play-
understanding-male-deception

Now that we have built the theoretical infrastructure, the games that men play will fall
into place and will be much easier to understand, foresee, and deal with.

The most common games men play seek to address the values that women seek the most,
such as being overall high value, having plenty of resources, and willingness to commit
those resources to her.

Such as, games men play belong to one of the following:

– Inflating his general sexual market value (“you’re getting a great catch”)
– Inflating his attractiveness to other women (“I will make you future attractive babies”)
– Inflating his resources (“I can provide”)
– Inflating is love and caring for her (“I will provide”)

Games Men Play

This lesson is written more for women, so I will write addressing women, but men can still
learn plenty from it.

1. The Bait and Switch Game

The bait is showing interest first, then switching with (fake) disinterest.

Some men might use this one in an effort to appear higher value and suggest they might
have more options than they actually have.
It also communicates that he is a very busy man with a purpose and little time to waste,
which is also very attractive (ambition and industrious traits).

Ultimately, it seeks to turn the table on her and make her chase.

Here how it looks like:

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This one works because it creates a sort of “vacuum”.
She thought he was going to chase her hard, instead… He disappears. That vacuum can
often lead her to contact him again first, and possibly chase him (it’s a bit the same
principle for the “icey dominant man”, where his lack of any social signals leads many
individuals to “fill the voids”).

Reacting To The Bait And Switch

Never consider anything real until it’s real, and always look at actions more than words.
If you ping him, you will lose power and restart the relationship as the one down. But
dating effectiveness is not all about power, so if you really liked him, it’s OK to text him.

But you must do it because he’s a good option, not because you want his approval.
So make sure to work on yourself: these games always work best on fragile egos in need of
validation.

2. The Adventurer Game

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This is a game that has been growing in popularity recently.

The plan is to present himself as adventurer, globetrotters or any sort of label that evokes
excitement and the idea of a girl in every port.

As we have seen before, men use it based on the premise that women slow things down
with potential boyfriend candidates but move quicker with sexier men who cannot
become providers.

It’s A Good Online Dating Game

This game works well in online dating.

While traveling years ago I had a Tinder description precisely tailored to look like an
adventurer.
I described myself as a free-spirit traveling the world, a man who didn’t like chatting but
preferred to enjoy human connections in person, and a fun-loving daredevil who was
happy to share adventures with some local women, as long as they were “cool” (ie.:
“DTF”).
Worked like a charm.

Something like this:

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Dealing With The Adventurer Game
Whenever a guy introduces himself as an adventurer, a globetrotter or such… Laugh.
And if you want to go overboard, you can say this:

Her: You’re like the 10th guy who says that in the last two days, why do guys think it’s cool
nowadays to say that

Notice how she is calling his game in a slightly demeaning fashion, by grouping him into
the “all guys category”.

This woman also had an interesting approach to blowing the cover of my game:

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With “hoping you’re not a “poser”, she is using inverse psychology to make me prove
myself to her, drop the “adventurer” mask, and be more “real”. Not bad.

My answer “what’s a poser” signals her game is being ineffective and makes her invest
more into her own game, which dilutes its power.

2.2. The Great Sex Provider Variation: Sex God Games

In the first lesson, we briefly mentioned that good sex is a sought-after trait in the sexual
marketplace.

Men who go for short term dating implicitly make it more about sex by being more
exciting, snazzily dressed, hopefully physically fitter, and importantly, promising a guilt-
free experience where she doesn’t need to play the Madonna.

However, some men don’t do implicitly, but directly or subtly seek to position themselves
as great sexual experiences. And this is the game they play.

Sex and the City has one example:

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Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/_Y4wxWJM6sA

Him: Listen, sweetheart. Give me an hour in the sack, and you’ll swear I’m the jolly green
giant

The best players of this game do it more subtly, with stories, sexual talk, and body
language.

Other men might talk about female orgasm, their crazy sexual experiences, or say he’s not
interested in sex but in only in great sex.
That way he is indirectly promising great fun, and he shows an open mind to help her
enjoy sex as a guilt-free, full fun experience.

Dealing With Sex God Games

If you are so inclined, feel free to enjoy him.

Just be aware of the game, and that the great sex might or might not be true in the end.
And of course, don’t even think of not using a condom.

3. The “I Never Date X” Game (“Disqualifier”)

Technically, this is a form of “disqualifier”, a PUA technique.

It works by disqualifying you -or sometimes even himself- for any potential of a
relationship.
The goal is to indirectly tell you “you’re not good enough for me” and “I’m not gonna
chase you”. The goal is to pique your interest and make you chase.

If you’re a brunette, he might say:

Him: I only date blondes

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If you’re white, he might say:

Him: I like black women

The idea here is that people want what they cannot have, which is in part true.
And by writing you off and pretending you can’t have him, he is hoping to turn the tables
on you and make you chase.

Dealing With The “I Never Date X” Game

A good move here is doing the exact same back to him, only a tad meaner:

Him: I only date blondes

You: Oh, really, usually blondes like other blonde men. No offense, but can you find any as
a balding dark haired man

Him: I like black women, they are X

You: Can you actually find black women? No offense, but they like muscular guys…

The trick is to not sound mean. You should say these like you’re really worried for him. As
if to say “poor you, can you really find any of those girls you like?“.
He’ll be thrown off and chances are high that he will reply with something like this:

Yes, of course I can…

No, they also like thin guys…

In either case, he is now proving himself to you.

4. The “We’re So Alike” Game

Women like to date men who are similar to them.

From an evolutionary point of view, it increases the chances they will stick together.
And, as well, it just feels more pleasurable.

So here is another game to leverage what women want: it consists of feigning interest in
your same passions and pursuits so that he looks more like you.

Here’s a quick story as an example:

I remember 4-5 years ago, sitting at the clinic and waiting for our turn. We had met the
day before and she was leaving the city on that exact same day.
I was there helping her get a pill of the day after, after a broken condom.

As we waited, she was showing me the pictures of this art gallery she had been to.
One image was a big wall in red paint. Nothing else, just a big wall in red paint.
I looked at it thinking it was meaningless and said nothing.

At that point, she blurted out:

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 Her: But… You don’t really like art

At that moment I realized I must have been playing some major games the day before.

Dealing With The “We’re So Alike” Game

I would suggest that you don’t always discount what men -and people in general say-.
You would lose your spontaneity and not everything is a game.

But at the same time, always reserve final judgment until you see concrete proofs.

To uncover the “we’re alike” game, throw him some curve balls:

Her: Everybody loves X because he’s good, possibly one of my favorite. What do you think
of him

X could be a person few people actually know or even a made up name. You preface it
with “everyone loves X” so that you will make it more difficult for him to admit he doesn’t
really know him.
If he pretends he knows him, he’s likely lying to force that connection.

5. The “I Am What You Like” Game (“Chamelon Game”)

Here men try to embody what they think she likes. Or they go for some stereotypical
image they think all women want.

Here is an example from Sex And the City (before he started a fight of course):

Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/SX5uskswdOA

Him: Great guy! And how about his wife? Now that’s my idea of a perfect marriage
Her: Totally

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This guy is positioning himself for commitment and resources -plus he’s also sexy, the full
package-. It also links back nicely to violence and dating, with over-aggression being
unsavory to most women.

6. The “My Girlfriend” Game

This game happens when you are making him wait for sex.

The game is to give you what you want as quickly as possible so he can get what he wants
as quickly as possible.

How is he going to do that?

He will call you his girlfriend.

The idea is to make you believe you reached your (alleged) goal of being in a relationship
so that you can now “safely” have sex.

Dealing With The “My Girlfriend Game”

Say that you would prefer not using labels until it’s official and mutually agreed that you
two are together (don’t do it publicly if he introduces you as his girlfriend though).

7. The “I Can Help You” Game

The ability of offering help shows an abundance of connection, social skills, and social
power.

You can see an example here where a woman who had not previously replied to me came
around in no time and called me right away.

There is also a subconscious effect where she feels that to “fully unlock” that offer of help,
she might have to give him back something.

Dealing With The “I Can Help You” Game

Again, words are cheap.
Let him come up with the facts instead and tell him:

Her: Thank you very much, I’d love to meet this great connection. When can you introduce
us?

Then stay out of contact until he makes that intro.

8. The Casually Planned Date Game

This isn’t really a “bad mind game”.
This ie men just taking their leadership role seriously, so it’s actually good.

But it’s still good for you to know about.

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He will carefully plan the date to make it seem spontaneous but instead design it to
increase the chances of you two having sex.

Some examples:

1. Doing some exciting (excitement rubs off as sexual attraction)

2. Changing several venues and ending up close to his place
3. Pretending to do something “spontaneously crazy” but actually planned

Dealing With The Casually Planned Date

You don’t necessarily want to stop this game on its track because it can be helpful for both
of you.
But neither do you want to look like a sacrificial lamb who just fell for it without realizing
what was happening.
Tell him:

Her: oh what a coincidence, we went through all these places and now we are just near your
apartment. Isn’t that neat, John.

Say it not in a mean way but as if you wanted to say “you naughty boy” or “how random,
eh?”
You just want to test how he reacts.

Now a man who doesn’t play too many games will either come out and say there is
nothing wrong with that or, even better, reply with something like this:

You: Well, honestly, I don’t think the real question is whether or not I laid out a plan to end
up near my place. Maybe I did, but isn’t that the man’s job anyway?
But what’s important here is that I do am having a good time with you Julie and that’s why
I’m inviting you. Because I DO NOT invite just about anyone, Julie.
It’s two minutes away and we’re just going for a drink. So shall we go now.

9. “Beauty is Common” Game

He’s trying to paint himself as both experienced, deep and interested in your personality.

You might try to tease him he is only looking for sex, or that he is a fuckboy.
And as an answer, he will launch on a tirade of why “beauty is common”, but he is looking
for something deeper as well.

Both parts of that sentence work heavily in his favor.

He communicates pre-selection (other beautiful women probably wanted him) and that
he can give you a great emotional experience and appreciate you for who you are on top of
whatever flashy thing you got (big boobs, shiny hair etc.).

Women tend to believe this game not because they’re gullible, but because that’s actually
how they think, and thus believe that (at least some) men will feel the same.

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However, 95% of the time you hear that sentence, it’s a crock.
The other 4% of the times the guy has been around so much and he is so experienced that
indeed beauty has become his new normal -but chances are it’s now a minimum
requirement for him-.
In 1% of the cases, you might have stumbled upon real gold. It’s rare, but not impossible.

Dealing With “Beauty Is Common Game”

If he looks like he really means it, then that’s a good mindset.

But if he’s playing a game, say that just because it’s common it doesn’t mean that one
cannot appreciate beauty.
It’s a luxury to have so much beauty, and you can appreciate beauty in all of its forms.
Then watch for his reaction.

10. Games of Chicken

Games of chicken are like the hardball “take it or leave it” equivalent of negotiation.

One type of game of chicken consists of calling her bluff or in creating situations where
she is forced to choose between his way or the highway.

Some women, for example, might want to put men on the defensive saying that he is
“coming off too strong”, or she might want to try to slow things down saying that “she
likes him too much”.
Or they might play offended or scared to induce him to chase.

The game of chicken then threatens to bring down the whole interaction to get in the lead
and into the power position.

I’ll give you an example:

Some time ago a woman was at my place and she accused me of “forcing myself onto her”.
It was probably an attempt to take things slower, slot me as the one pursuing her and
possibly position herself as more Madonna.
But I take allegations like that very seriously and I don’t tolerate them.
So I got angry, I stood up and I told her that if that was what she really thought, she
should leave immediately.
I swung the door open and said “go!”
Do you think she left?

And here is another example of answering with a game of chicken to another game of
chicken:

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If she was playing a power game first… She lost it.

My game of chicken here was my non-reply, showing that I was very willing to drop her
completely.

By the time she came around, the power was all in my side and.. I had already mentally
moved past her.
The only date I was willing to offer at that point was “come over and we’ll cook something
together” type of date.

Dealing With Games of Chicken

There isn’t much you can do with games of chicken that won’t damage the relationship.

Lose the game, and it’s he wins, you lose. Take him on the challenge and you win, and you
now have a submissive man you like less or, possibly, a man looking for revenge.

In either case, though, the person playing games of chickens is communicating they are
more about winning than about teamwork.
If games of chickens happen often and if you got options, I would recommend you look
into other options.

10.2. The False Takeaway

The “false takeaway” is a subset of games of chicken.

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It consists of removing himself from the interaction to induce her to chase. If she doesn’t
go to him, the interaction is over.
But if she really cared, chances are she will go.

Once she goes, the power is on his side and, often, the cards are on the table.

Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/8mIYapZI5II

Threatening to end the relationship is also a type of game of chicken, and we will analyze
it in the relationships module.

11. Lowering Your Self Esteem Games

Some men will use what the early pick-up artists called “the “neg” to lower her self
esteem.
A neg meant delivering a back-handed compliment or a light insult.

Why would they do it?

This is why:

1. Make her seem lower status, which in comparison would make him seem “better”
2. Lower her self esteem and make her chase to regain his approval (ie.: he becomes “the
judge”)

Is it effective?

Sometimes it can be.

But it’s an inherently value-taking and low-level game because it presupposes that she is
superior and he has to take her down a notch to have a chance.
It is also relatively easy for socially skilled women to see behind these games.

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We will talk more about games and lowering her self-esteem because unluckily they are
also often used in the relationship.

Dealing With Lowering Self Esteem Games

In the case of long term relationships, these games are highly damaging and we’ll address
them in the relationship modules.

If a man uses any strategy aimed at lowering your self-esteem, I recommend you
reconsider your relationship.

12. Love Bombing

This is a technique typical of sociopaths and narcissists.

They do the opposite of what some dating coaches advise and they chase and invest like
crazy.
Calls, flowers, romance, “happy ever after” love story.
And they swear that “they never felt like this way before”.

And… Sometimes it works.

Women are not used to being pursued with such passion and abandon and, especially for
lonely women who were looking to settle, it’s addictive.

The beginning of the relationship is often the best a woman has ever seen.

And then of course comes the next phase: devaluation. And later abandonment.

This particularly dangerous for women with little experience or for women who’ve had
more negative dating experiences.
It also works best with women with a not so high sexual market value who are not used to
“hot pursuits”.
The stark contrast will make them feel like they’re living a fairy tale, while women with no
experience believe that’s what “love” should be in real life.

12.2. The Pathological Bait and Switch

This consists of telling you what you want to hear and pretend you two want the same
thing and/or are exactly the same, just like the previous we’ve seen.

Plus love bombing and professing never end companionship.

The difference is that once she is hooked, the real self will start emerging. And it’s abusive,
manipulative and outright fraudulent.
Psychopaths and conmen do it, and lonely women are the most likely prey.

13. Broken-Man Game

These men’s appeal is to look like a diamond in the rough.

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They seem fearlessly intelligent, scornful and angry at society, somewhat melancholic, sad
and with an attractive artistic streak.
What are they hiding?
Who broke their hearts?

With a little bit of fixing maybe they can be hers. And since she fixed him, he will be
eternally grateful.

Or so she thinks.
It appeals to her maternal side but, more times than not, he drags her down instead of
coming out of the hole.

There is some overlap here with the “Byronic hero”, but the “broken man” takes less care
of hiding his darker side.

The movie “The Good Girl” presents a great example of “broken man seduction”:

Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/M-icn4j21E0

And be aware, on top of dark, many of these men are also (emotionally) abusive.

Dealing With Broken Men

Just stay away.

98% there is nothing you can do to help them and they will drag you down and
emotionally abuse you.

14. The Average Joe Games

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We have reviewed a few popular mind games men play in dating.
However, the most common and widespread games are the ones you are probably already
familiar with.

And they include:

– Exaggerating the depths of his feelings

This truly seems like a bottom feeder game to me, and yet in Buss’ survey 71% of men
admitted of having exaggerated the depth of their feelings to have sex with a woman.

– Appearing better than he is(richer, smarter, cooler…)

At the extreme are the men who will rent out a car or borrow to show off resources they
don’t have.
These are some of the lowest quality games that should immediately ring “low quality
man” bells in your head.

– “Buttering up” compliments

Gushing compliments about your sexiness, tastes or personality are an example of low
level “buttering up compliments”.
Usually, it’s either inexperienced man or men who are “love bombing” her.
Other times, buttering up compliments are obvious attempts at getting something from
you (quid pro quod games, see an example from Sex and the City).

– Low-quality alpha male games

These are all the overly flashy attention-grabbing tools he uses. Noisy cars, loud stereos,
backslapping with his friends or even starting fights.

Questions? Open A Topic & Ask Here!

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