Body Language of Power

thepowermoves.com/courses/power-university/lessons/high-power-behavior/topic/body-language-of-power

There is plenty of good quality information on body language, so I wasn’t sure whether to
have a dedicated lesson on it.

But since it’s such an important topic, I finally opted for having it.

Consider this to be a primer on the body language literature of dominance.

Please note this is a lesson on how the body language of dominance looks like. This is
NOT a lesson on how you should behave.
Some of these poses are exaggerated for many social situations.

They can be OK in a dive bar or with friends, or if you want to catch attention when you’re
out by yourself in some night venue.

But not so good for higher society and for places with more established folks. On average,
the higher up you move socially, the more refined and nuanced the people tend to look.
Striking too obvious poses in those environments can easily make you look like you don’t
belong -and like you’re trying too hard-.

As almost always, exceptions apply.

But as a rule of thumb: avoid anything that could look like a caricature.

#1. Taking Up Space

Dominant individuals take up space while submissive ones make themselves smaller.

Sit comfortably, don’t keep your legs too close together and, if there is enough space feel
free to spread your arms on the back of the couch.

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For Women
Avoid spreading out unless you’re doing it with a specific goal in mind.
Women who spread out too much tend to be branded as less feminine, lower quality
women.

A woman who “closes up” in new environments or in environments with many men, on
the other hand, is seen as more defensive.
You might want to avoid it at work, where you want to keep a neutral stance.

But outside of the office, that’s not necessarily bad.

In the Madonna-Whore dichotomy, she comes to be seen as more Madonna-like and more
relationship-worthy by men, and it also evokes feelings of protection.

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Legs can be an exception here if you’re doing it consciously and in specific situations.
Sitting with your legs open can send a powerful, primal invitation to sex. Some men will
be attracted in a kind of “gonna ravish her like there is no tomorrow” kind of way.

More experienced men or men who are more looking to settle down might still brand it as
“attention-seeking whoring” though and be turned off.

So use with caution.

There are no exceptions for arms: avoid spreading out your arms on the bar or on the
back of a couch.

#2. Touching Others

Several studies have shown that speakers who touch others as they talk are perceived as
more dominant.

Touching others means indeed you are comfortable and not afraid of entering other
people’s personal space.

Of course, always adapt to the culture and situation.

For example, an experiment found out that in Rome people touch each other hundreds of
times while people barely touched each other in UK.
So if you’re in Rome and not touching at all, you look like a prude. If you’re in the UK and
put your hands all over people, you come across as overbearing.

When you’re outside partying and socializing with drinks flowing it’s likely that “no
touching” cultures also loosen up.
There you can ramp up your touching.

Exception: Not touching someone at all can make you look distant and “superior”. If you
are already the most powerful man in the room, it’s possible to strategically use “no
touches” to look even more powerful.

For Women
Women’s touch to men is interpreted by most men as a strong indicator of sexual interest.

Women can use touch for seduction purposes.

Fleeting touches below the waistline, for example on the side of the leg, can be supremely
arousing for men.

Outside of seduction purposes, women should avoid touching strangers too much or they
come across as masculine and overbearing.

#3. Not Moving for Others

Dominant individuals tend to move less while having others move for them.

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For example, if you meet an acquaintance and they come to you instead of you going to
them, that puts power on your side.
If your group needs something and others volunteer to go fetch it and not you, then you
look more powerful.
And if you schedule a meeting and you meet at your office, that shows you have more
power than the person visiting.

This is not only true for assigning tasks and having people bring you stuff, but also for
how bodies move during normal socialization.
Among primates, the lower status males move to give space to the alpha male.
Here is an example:

Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/kIiDCPCN4BQ

It’s really not that different in humans.

We tend to move out of the way of the CEO, and when there is no obvious rank yet, there
is a tendency to move out for the guy who looks and behaves more dominantly.
If we are not sure about dominance levels, we tend to move out of the way of bigger
people.

I encourage you to become more aware of these body movements and, if needed, to
correct the way you move.
For example, avoid scuttling away, but move at your pace.

PRO Tip: Move while you keep doing what you were doing

If you’re talking to someone and you stop to let someone move past you, you are giving
too much importance to that third party.

Instead, if you need to move, move, but keep on talking with your conversation partner.

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Same if you were checking some food labels at the grocery store.
Move, but remain efficient and keep on doing what you were doing.

PRO Tip: Nudge Instead of Moving

You don’t want to push people out of your way.
However, you can still use something similar when others are obviously in the wrong.

A typical example happens in supermarket, where people are pushing their cart without
looking where they are going.
in this case, they are obviously in the wrong.
Instead of moving out of the way, take your arm out and block the cart.

Or you can partially move and partially deflect them. When they will feel the impact 99%
of the times they will “wake up” and correct their behavior.

This can be better than going out of your way to jump out of their way.

Reclaiming Your Space

If walking down the street you get out of the way of bigger guys, start resisting that
temptation.

Wait for them to move first, or only take one small step out the way while expecting them
to do the same on their part.
If not, feel free to bump into them.

I know what’s the fear: I’m smaller, I’ll fall.

Here is a great technique then: if they don’t move, right before you are almost hitting
them, stop. Stop right in front of them and expect them to swerve.
Even if they will brush you or hit you, you won’t fall while standing still.

Of course: balance.
The goal here is to avoid being the guy who submits to everyone, not to be the idiot who
runs into others.

The Non-Written Rule of People’s Movement

And keep in mind the non-written rule of people’s movement, which is this: the one who
moves quickest is the one who must avoid others, so you don’t need to swerve for him but
expect him to move around you (read the rationale in the forum).

#4. Eye Contact: Don’t Look Down

On average socially experienced individuals tend to be more comfortable with holding eye
contact.

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The direction of breaking eye contact is also an important indicator of social power
(Libby, 1970).
Looking up is a dismissive signal. Looking sideways is neutral. Looking down is
submissive.

This has also implications in dating and seduction settings.

A woman breaking eye contact with a man looking down and then back up again is a
strong indicator that she likes him (we’ll see an example later in the dating module).

#5. Make Yourself Comfortable

The person who looks comfortable and at ease communicates he is on top of the situation
and has nothing to fear.

The person who looks nervous and on edge communicates fear and discomfort.

And that’s one of the reasons why the slow and calm style of dominance tends to be more
powerful.
While the high energy guys could more easily hide fear and discomfort, the slow-moving
person is obviously relaxed.

Slow and flowing movements also have a soothing effect on others: they make people
around feel safer and more comfortable.

Locking In
Locking in is an old PUA concept. And it’s actually true and effective.
Locking in means that when you’re talking to someone, you take the most comfortable
position. That could be reclining against the bar, sitting on a stool, half sitting on a desk
etc.

Locking in can also be more subtle though. For example, if you are beside a street, you
take the external post, the one farther away from the street.
And if you are sitting inside in a diner or small couch, you take the spot the inside spot,
the one without the exit. The bonus is two-fold: 1. it’s generally a more comfortable spot;
2. it indirectly communicates your guest wants to stay, since they can leave, while they are
blocking your exit, making it feel like they’re coming on strong on you.

#6. Open Body Language

Socially powerful people tend to adopt more open body poses.

Open VS closed body language is one of the most important concepts of body language.

Closed body language is defensive, while open body language communicates we are not
afraid to open up.
Opening up means that we can “allow” ourselves to be open and/or that we accept and
want to create rapport with the people around.

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Closed body language is:

1. Momentarily closing our body

Arms crossed
Touching the tie (covers the body with our arm)
Checking the time (covers the body with our arm)
Legs pressed against each other

2. Permanently collapsing our body

Scrunched posture
Hunched head (covers carotids)
Rounded shoulders
Arched back

Dangers of Bad Posture: the “temporary VS permanent” is an important distinction.

People who go about their lives too submissive for too long can end up with permanently
closed body language and terrible posture.
We will have a video lesson on adjusting posture.

#7. Relaxed Body Language

“Signs of comfort” VS “signs of discomfort” -also called “displacement signals” and the
second most important cluster of body language.

Displacement signals are signs such as:

– Touching the back of the neck

– Scratching itches
– Touching the face
– Wringing hands
– Playing with jewelry
– Opening up the collar of a shirt

Consciously avoid displacement body language until it becomes natural.

#8. Proper Posture

The rule of thumb is that good posture commands respect and projects confidence and
power.

Some of the most common posture-related issues are:

1. rounded shoulders
2. head leaning in
3.hunched back posture.

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But watch out for the common pitfall of “fixing” body language: going way too back with
the spine (swayback posture) or pulling up the chest way too much and looking like a
Popeye’s caricature.

There is a good video on posture on this course, just keep going for now.

Proper posture can run against the

“make yourself comfortable” rule
because sometimes making yourself
comfortable means slouching.

When in doubt, I recommend taking

the most comfortable position
because the perfect posture can
make you look try-hard.

Justin Bieber was going for perfectly

straight posture during his roast and
it often looked like he was trying too
hard.
It made him stick out, and not
necessarily in a good way, more like
a sore thumb:

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Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/ZhFFLTDNB94

That being said, posture is crucial, and it’s one of the fundamentals.
If you don’t already have great posture or if you don’t know what to work on, please read
here:

– Perfect posture & posture exercises

#9. Powerful Walk

There is some debate on whether a powerful and dominant walk is quick or slow.

Some sources say that a brisk walk says communicate energy and vitality, while some
authors say that “powerful men move slow”.

Of course, they are both right, it just depends on the context and on all the other body
language cues.

My opinion is that slow is more powerful than quick as long as you’ve already “made it”.

If you’re still working hard and adopt the slow walk and slow moves, then you risk looking
lazy and “just slow” instead of “powerfully slow”.

Pro Tip: Mental images for powerful walks

If you want to go for a high-power walk, and you need some help, try this:

Imagine yourself carrying a strap across your chest, with a gun holstered into it.
This can be especially helpful for more socialy anxious and fearful people, since it can help
combat the fear of othes by raising their power for self-defense.

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I don’t necessarily recommend adopting this mindset with an aggressive stance. Instead,
more like a powerful, strong, civilizing force.
More with a mindset of “I’m a powerful man, and also kind. Just don’t fuck with me”. You
can also imagine of using your power as a defense for the less powerful people around, so
you also become powerfully pro-social.

This mindset can actually even help you to take more actions to help others as you go by
your life, since you see yourself as a powerful force for good.

Alternatively, if you’re not the gun type, you can imagine carrying a sword tied to your
back. And you can think of making that sword look beautiful as it sticks out straight, on a
straight back, so it also helps your posture.

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Different Walk for Genders
A power male walk spreads the legs wider than a woman would and shows a shoulder
swag.

A female powerful walk will take long strides, feet parallel and one foot in front of each
almost on the same line.

How to move your feet

I personally walk with mostly parallel feet.
I suspect (suspect!) parallel feet are more attractive because of the physical advantage
they confer in running -it’s more efficient to transfer power from muscles to the ground-.

However, men are allowed to “open up” their feet a bit. Especially if they do it with a slow
walk, it can look very powerful.
Opening up though should be in “always open” mode rather than opening up after you
raise your foot.

You have no idea what I’m talking about?

Here is one example of “bad” opening up.

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And this is the “good, “always open” way, which is also a great example of overall
dominant stride:

Women should avoid opening up their feet because parallel feet look more “regal”
(example above, she’s walking with parallel feet).

If it’s not possible because of bones’ structure, that’s OK.

A touch of open feet can also be primordially attractive the same way that sitting with
open legs is -showing a ready path to her reproductive organs-.

Finally some women, but rarely also some men, sometimes “shuffle” their feet while
walking, rubbing the sole of their feet on the ground (one example here).
Women can do it if they want to look childish and send out “protect me signals” (more on

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them later). But they should avoid it when they want to convey power.

And for men, always avoid it: it’s childish and looks insecure.

9.2. The “Belly First” male dominant walk

Some men walk with their “belly first”.

I don’t have much of that belly raw material to do it well, but here’s me mimicking this
walk:

Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/TFKDBjzbmtw

The head is cocked behind and the belly prominently protruding, as if he were proud of
his belly.

Alebit it might sound strange to some modern urban dwellers, this walk is actually
dominant.
You will see it in rural areas, developing countries, or lower class folks.

There is no research on this one, so I suspect this is dominant for three reasons:

1. Food / resources relation: in poorer environments, it shows the man has resources
2. Size / Power relation: there is a link between size and power, and a big belly with
the conspicuous walk says “move out of me and my big belly’s way”
3. Indirect SMV Status boost: at parity of wife’s SMV, an unfit man gets a bigger
status boost. It’s like saying: I got a hot wife and I don’t even care to stay fit, imagine how
much status and power I must have

It might not be a coincidence that many mafia bosses are big.

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Avoid the “belly first” walk
If you are reading here, chances are that you part of a professional, urban, or generally
driven and well-learned crowd.
The “belly first” walk doesn’t work well in that crowd, so avoid it.

#10. Nodding Up
Nodding down is a sign of submissiveness.

Some of the most dominant men nod up instead of down.

McGregor nods up, but he comes across as a bit too confrontational and juvenile when he
does it. Dominant yes, but a bit socially “rough”.
Here is an equally powerful but more polished way of doing it from Brad Pitt:

Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/iSM4x6wtMlw

“thanks Charlie” and nodding up. Friendly and accommodating words with a smile +
dominant and powerful nonverbal.
Perfect mix.

Attention though, this is not to say to never nod down.

Read here for more details and guidance:

– Nodding up VS nodding down

#11. Center of Attention

On average, the more powerful people in the room tend to have others all around them.

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This goes partly back to the fundamental of “dependence”. Having people around you
communicates they need you and want you.
They want to talk to you, be around you, get your opinion, your approval, fuck you or be
seen with you.

Notice how Trump leverages this principle at the end of the presidential debate:

Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/9L0tpJkiVXo

Hillary bolts off the stage like a schoolkid, while he stays grounded and lets everyone else
come to him. Who looks presidential?
I’m pretty confident that was rehearsed and done on purpose, and it was a great power
move.

… And Women?
There is some overlap and some “good for both genders” body language of course.

Good posture is a must for both genders. And locking in will make women look more
powerful just like it does for men.

As we have mentioned before, “gender-neutral” places like the workplace will see men and
women converge.
Since expressions of power body language don’t come with gender labels, women who
want to look powerful can mimic the power body language of men.
However, keep in mind that comes at the cost of losing likability, femininity and,
potentially, long-term power.

People indeed don’t usually like to be around -and be influenced- by people who operate
too far outside of their genders (“gender deviant”,). That’s true for men, and probably
even more so for women.

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Some subset of men, misogynists first and foremost, particularly resent and rebel against
a female leader who mimics a man too much.

My recommendation for women looking to leadership positions then is to eliminate all the
signs of insecure and defensive body language.
But also to avoid more masculine expressions.

We have a lesson just for women later.

Dating & Body Language of Power

We’ve already said it but it bears repeating: women who resemble dominant men too
closely lose out big when it comes to dating and attraction.

The purely feminine can find its own way to power and major dating success by
leveraging femininity and sending out coy, shy and “protect me” signals.
Angelina Jolie does it a lot and well.
Here again:

Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/L7DKK4I2Chs

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