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TRANSLATING AL-SAYYAB

INTO ENGLISH
A comparative study of Unshudat al-Matar

‘No one can understand the word


‘cheese’ unless he has a non-
linguistic acquaintance with ‘cheese’
Bertrand Russell

Introduction
There are many useful methods that can be applied in the
analysis of poetry translations. In this essay, I am going to
analyse the (specify the number of translations) translations
of al-Sayyab›s poem Unshudat al-Matar that reflect different
approaches. Therefore, I am going to divide my work according
to the differences and similarities between these approaches into
three sections. I will also classify these approaches thematically
considering the fact that each translation might use more than
one approach. This essay considers each of the three main
translation approaches, followed by a section on data analysis.

The first section, ‘Literal Translation’, analyses the literal


approach and its controversial aspects in translating the poem.
The second section investigates ‘Interpretive Translation,’ which
suggests a particular reading of the poem. However, some
Ghareeb Iskander* translators submit the whole semantic level of the source text
(ST) to a single interpretation ignoring the potential multiplicity

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of meanings in this poem. The third section, The literal approach focuses on translating
Creative Translation, focuses on the poetic and the referential function of the poem more than
stylistic techniques used by some translators the aesthetic one. Moreover, the relationship
of Unshudat al-Matar, and compares them between these two functions sometime loses
to the techniques of the ST. The last section its balance for the benefit of the referential
discusses the data analysis of the previous function in the TT, which affects the aesthetic
approaches. Section six concludes the study function of the poem and produces a literal
with some findings. translation.

I must mention here that I have left out the In the translations of Unshudat al-Matar, the
analysis of prosodic features such as rhyme literal translation approach exists as a word to
or rhythm because word conversion, from
of the complexity of sentence to sentence,
The literal approach focuses on
the issues at hand. It line to line and stanza
translating the referential function
requires us to establish to stanza. I will also
of the poem more than the aesthetic
the differences between analyse the translations
one
the English and Arabic that used this approach
prosodic forms and to investigate the
their poetic functions, and how the other levels differences between the ST and TT techniques
of the poem are affected by these functions. on one hand, and on the other, the differences
between the different translations of the poem.
Here, I will investigate the literal techniques
The literal approach
used by the poem›s translators to render
In practice, this approach involves the title, as well as certain expressions and
translating the explicit meaning of the original phrases, which exist, as I mentioned, through
poem, which is formulated by certain lexical and the translation of stanza to stanza, line to line,
grammatical techniques. Hence, this approach sentence to sentence levels. Analysing the
does not care about the shift between ST and translations of the lexical level is important
target text (TT). In addition, Unshudat al-Matar to reveal the type of text›s register used by
as a linguistic and poetic message has two the poem and its translations. Looking at
different functions: referential and aesthetic. the translations of Unshudat al-Matar›s title

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will uncover the approaches used in these also uses a definite article, but the emphasis
translations, and the differences between the is on the ‹Song› unlike the Arabic version:
aspects of the register used in both the original
‹The Song of Rain›
and the translated poem.
(Boullata 1976: 7)

However, Boullata›s translation is more


Song or hymn accurate than the previous translations. The
use of definite article in the beginning of the
The given translations (referenced in the
title specifies the ‹song› to the ‹rain›, which is
bibliography below) differ on the title of al-
an appropriate translation for the title, since
Sayyab›s poem Unshudat al-Matar. In the
the use of the definite and the annexation in
original text, this title is presented linguistically
the Arabic version
in an annexation
I only found two translations that use suggests the same
(alidhafa) form, which
definite articles to emulate the same meaning. This
grammatically occurs
technique used in the Arabic text: translation is also
in a compound of two
'Song of the Rain' more appropriate
nouns. It also comes
than the previous
in a definite form (Shaheen, 1992:82)
translations for the
by using a definite
'Song of the Rain' target readership,
article in the second
(Lulua, 2004: 47) because the use of
noun al-Matar. In the
the definite article in
translation of this title,
the beginning of the English phrase indicates
I only found two translations that use definite
that the first noun specifies the second one.
articles to emulate the same technique used
With the exception of Deyoung›s and Salam›s
in the Arabic text:
translations, which I will analyse in the next
‹Song of the Rain›
section, the rest of the title›s translations
(Shaheen, 1992:82)
adopted the literal approach. These
‹Song of the Rain› translations inverted the annexation structure

(Lulua, 2004: 47) of the title to a descriptive structure, as we see


with the following translations:
In his translation of the same title, Boullata

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‹Rain Song› Forest or grove


(Al-Udhari, 1986: 29) Al-Sayyab was influenced by English

‹Rain Song› poets, such as Keats or Sitwell. This influence


made him choose a non-Arabic collocation
(Jayyusi and Middleton, 1987: 437)
to describe his beloved›s eyes. Al-Sayyab
‹Rain Song› started Unshudat al-Matar by saying:
(O›Grady, 1992: 54) ‫عيناك غابتا نخيل ساعة السحر‬
‹Song of Rain› ‫أو رشفتان راح ينأى عنهام القمر‬
(Frangieh, 2003: 29) (Appendix 1, lines: 1&2)

Al-Sayyab used ‫‹ غابتا نخيل‬palm trees forest›


instead of the Arabic collocation‫بستانا نخيل‬
As poetic discourse, the tenor of
‹palm trees grove›. However, the strangeness
Unshudat al-Matar was inverted from the
of this collocation is responsible for creating
formality in the ST to the informality in
the poetic effect of this line, since this unusual
the TT. This inversion affects the mode
use shapes the meaning of this image. It also
of the poem
makes the structure of the line more interesting
for the target readership.
As poetic discourse, the tenor of Unshudat
Let us see how the given translations dealt
al-Matar was inverted from the formality in the
with these opening lines:
ST to the informality in the TT. This inversion
affects the mode of the poem, since the original ‹Your eyes are two forests of palm trees at

title was changed from the formal annexation dawn,

style in the original poem to the informal Or two balconies from where the moonlight
descriptive style in the translated poem, which retreats›
is usually used in the spoken discourse.
(Frangieh, 2003: 29)
These different perspectives operate in the
‹Your eyes are two palm tree forests in
translation of the rest of the poem›s stanzas.
early light,

Or two balconies from which the moonlight

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recedes› In the second line of the same stanza, the

(Jayyusi and Middleton, 1987: 427)


Arabic present tense «‫»ينأى‬ in «‫راح ينأى عنهام‬
‫ »القمر‬was inaccurately rendered by the same
‹Your eyes are twin forest of palm trees at
English tense:
dawn
‹The moonlight retreats›
Or two balconies from which the moon
(Frangieh: 29)
withdraws›
‹The moon recedes›
(Salama, 1972: 119)
(Boullata: 7)
As can be seen, all these translations follow
‹The moonlight recedes›
the original text by translating literally the same
(Jayyusi and Middleton: 427)
Arabic collocation into English. In addition,
‹The moon leaves behind›
Frangieh and Salama mistakenly translated
«‫»ساعة السحر‬ by ‹dawn›, whereas «‫»السحر‬ is
(Al-Udhari: 29)

the time before daybreak. It is the early light, ‹The moon is moving far away’
as Jayyusi and Middleton accurately used in (Lulua: 47)
their translation. The Arabic equivalence of
‹The moon passes›
‹dawn› is «‫»فجر‬. Deyoung made the same
(O›Grady: 54)
error when she translated «‫ »ساعة السحر‬by ‹at
The problem with these translations is they
the hour of dawn›. However, she accurately
did not take into consideration the grammatical
chose a suitable English collocation when
structure of the whole sentence. Therefore,
she translated «‫»غابتا نخيل‬ by ‹two groves of
these translations practically come in a word
palm trees› in the first line of her translation of
to word translation form. On the contrary,
Unshudat al-Matar:

‹Your eyes are two groves of palm trees at Frangieh and Salama mistakenly
the hour of dawn translated '‫ 'ساعة السحر‬by 'dawn',
Or two balconies from which the moon has whereas '‫ ' السحر‬is the time before
begun to recede› daybreak. It is the early light, as
Jayyusi and Middleton accurately
(Deyoung, 1993: 59)
used in their translation

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Deyoung, in her translation of the same verb,


presents an appropriate solution. Unlike the
The interpretive approach
others, she took into account the compound of
We have seen in the last section how
two verbs: past ‹raha› and present ‹yanaa› in
Unshudat al-Matar›s translators approached
the ST and translated them in the TT by using
the literal aspect of the original poem.
an appropriate present perfect structure:
This aspect, i.e. denotation, was mainly
‹The moon has begun to recede›
represented by the explicit meaning of the
(Deyoung: 59)
poem. Denotation is the first side of any
These examples show us that the literal linguistic message, which physically exists
translation approach is suitable for translating through the tangible aspect of that message.
these lines, since they are expressed by Moving on to the second aspect, namely
nonfigurative language. This means that the connotation, it is represented by the possible
communicative function, readings that occur in
which dominates the the potential meanings
Denotation is the first side of
given examples, has been of the poem. The former
any linguistic message, which
rendered at the same level aspect is fixed, concerned
physically exists through
in the TT. Here, the literal with translating the first
the tangible aspect of that
approach adopted by the meaning produced by the
message
translators was applied to original poem. The latter
emulate the same style of is more dynamic, seeking
the ST›s language and function. However, to translate a selected meaning chosen from
Deyoung used non-literal approach when she several potential meanings of the poem. This
translated the second line of the poem. She aspect apparently occurs in the semantic level
applied different mechanisms by compounding of the text, which is based on the associative
two different verbs in two different tenses meaning produced by the inverted degree of
to translate one verb to offer an appropriate the stylistic features underpinning the poetic
translation. Deyoung’s approach is close to aspect of the poem.
the interpretive approach, since she used
Turning to how the poem›s translators
different techniques to translate the implicit
interpret this aspect, Deyoung and Salama
meaning of the poem, as will be shown next.

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individually translated ‹Unshudat› in the ‹And lights dance like moons in a river›
title Unshudat al-Matar by ‹hymn› instead of
(Boullata: 7)
‹song›, which is used by the rest of translators,
‹Lights dance like moons in a river›
as I mentioned in the last section. Using hymn
is a matter of interpretive translation because (Shaheen: 82)
hymn is usually used in a religious service, Unlike these translations, Deyoung›s
since it is praise to God. Therefore, the poem translation uses a different technique by
in this meaning is like a prayer for rainfall. using brackets as a tool to explain the hidden
The technique used to interpret the title meaning of the metaphor used in this line:
looks at the implicit meaning of the poem and ‹And the lights dance…like moons
takes into consideration the special use of (reflected) in the river›
certain linguistic features. This technique was
(Deyoung: 59)
used in several ways to translate the fourth
line of the poem (Appendix 1), resulting in At the same level, the stanza that describes
varying interpretations of this line, such as: the hunger (Appendix 1, lines: 5865-) was
also translated in different interpretive forms.
‹Lights linger like that moon›s reflection on
These forms indicate that this approach is
the river›
unavoidable, although the original stanza
(O›Grady: 54) seems to have an explicit meaning, since it
‹Lights dance… as water-reflected moons› is represented by non-figurative language,
with the exception of the use of the metaphor
(Salama: 119)

‹And the lights dance


Deyoung's translation uses a
Like the moon›s reflections on a river› different technique by using brackets
(Al-Udhari: 29) as a tool to explain the hidden
meaning of the metaphor used in this
In contrast, this line was literally translated
line:
by other translators:
'And the lights dance…like moons
‹And lights dance… like moons in a river›
(reflected) in the river'
(Jayyusi and Middleton: 427)

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Villages moaning and emigrants


These translations indicate that
Fighting with oars and masts
there are three types of interpretive
approaches varying according to the Gulf gusts and thunder, singing
level of interpretation; these types Rain-patter….
exist through three degrees: low,
Patter….
medium and high
Patter….
in «‫»القرى تئن‬. This stanza was translated
Famines in Iraq›
based on the interpretive approach, because
of its use of certain lexical and grammatical (Salama: 121)
combinations, which produce different ‹And I can almost hear
associative meanings and are reflected in the
The palm-trees quaffing the rain
whole register of the TT. This can be seen in
these examples: And hear the villages moaning and the
exiles
‹I almost hear the palm-trees drink the rain
Struggling with the oars and sails
Hear the villages groan and the emigrants
Against the tempests of the gulf,
Struggling with ear and sails
Against the thunder, singing:
Against the storm winds of the gulf and the
thunder, Rain…

Singing: Rain…

Rain… Rain…

Rain… Yet there is hunger in Iraq›

Rain… (Lulua: 49)

And in Iraq hunger› These translations indicate that there are


three types of interpretive approaches varying
(Shaheen: 78)
according to the level of interpretation; these
‹I almost hear palm-trees gulping rain, types exist through three degrees: low, medium

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and high. To demonstrate the distinctions Similarly, Salama makes a mistake in


between the types, I will start with Shaheen›s the translation of this line on both the lexical
translation as example of the lower degree and the grammatical levels. The first mistake
of interpretation. This translation practically exists through the use of inappropriate lexis
came close to the ST, but it used ‹storm winds› ‹famines› instead of hunger. The appropriate
as a textual equivalence compounded from Arabic equivalent for ‹famine› is ‹ ‫ مجاعة‬majaat›
two lexical items to translate one lexical item not ‹ ‫ جوع‬jooa› as it is in the original poem. In
‹ ‫ العواصف‬awasif›, which could be translated addition, the word ‹famines› which comes in
by ‹storm›. In addition, at the lexical and plural form, is used to describe an extreme
grammatical levels, he scarcity of food,
mistakenly translated The first mistake exists through the while the Arabic word
the plural word ‹‫اجملاديف‬ use of inappropriate lexis 'famines' ‹jooa› and its English
majadheef› by a singular instead of hunger. The appropriate equivalent ‹hunger›
and inaccurate word Arabic equivalent for 'famine' is ' used here describe
‹ear› (sic). The word ‫ مجاعة‬majaat' not ' ‫ جوع‬jooa' as it is in the poor people using
‹oars› is an appropriate the original poem the technique of
lexical equivalent for metonymy. Salama
‹‫ اجملاديف‬majadheef›. He also translated the also mistakenly lexically translated the Arabic
last line of this stanza by conveying the same verb ‹‫تشرب‬ tashrabo› by ‹gulping, which is
Arabic structure (postpositive subject and closer to the meaning of ‹swallow› than to the
prepositive predicate expressed by a phrase): meaning of ‹drink› as it should be. However, the

‫ويف العراق جوع‬ translator used a grammatically appropriate


‹ing› form in his translation for this verb to
(Appendix 1, line: 63)
emulate the meaning of continuity in the Arabic
Shaheen translated this Arabic sentence verb. Furthermore, the line was translated
by a grammatically ‹And in Iraq hunger›, since correctly on lexical and grammatical levels by
his translated sentence has no verb. Thus, the most of Unshudat al-Matar›s translators who
adherence to the ST maintained by Shaheen use the same structure in their translations:
estranges the TT without any poetic or cultural
‹And there is hunger in Iraq›
necessities.
Unlike the others, Lulua›s interpretation of

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the same stanza is presented by the use of ‫ واملهاجرين‬،‫وأسمع القرى تئ ّن‬


ُ
a certain technique. His approach uses the ِ
‫باملجاذيف وبالقلوع‬ ‫يصارعون‬
contrast link ‹yet› in the last line to justify the
changes that affect the whole meaning of this
ِ
‫ منشدين‬،‫اخلليج والرعود‬ ‫عواصف‬
َ
stanza: Finally, O›Grady renders the same stylistic

‹Yet there is hunger in Iraq› technique used in the original text to translate
the fourth stanza of the poem (Appendix
(Lulua: 49)
1, lines: 3741-). This technique is called a
In his translation of this stanza, Lulua rhetorical question. It has an important effect
interprets the implicit meaning of the Arabic on the whole register of the text, particularly
letter ‹wa› in the the tenor, since it
beginning of this requires stronger
Lulua interprets the implicit meaning of
line: ‹ ‫وفي العراق جوع‬ participation of the
the Arabic letter 'wa' in the beginning
wa fi alaraq jooa› to poem›s readers in
of this line: ' ‫ وفي العراق جوع‬wa fi alaraq
build an appropriate order to produce the
jooa' to build an appropriate linguistic
linguistic structure potential meanings of
structure for the TT
for the TT. The use this poem. However,
of this interpretive O›Grady changes
strategy serves and orientates the whole these questions by repeating some of them.
poetic function of this stanza. Therefore, he This technique helps the target readership to
translates words like (yashrabo, yousarawn, decode the metaphor of this stanza:
awasif) respectively by (quaffing, struggling,
Do you know what grief
tempest) to state that although we have palm-
trees quaffing (not just drinking) the rain and Rain brings? The sad song

people who are struggling against the tempest Of rain-gutters. Do you know?
(not just storms), Iraqi people are still poor.
How we, the lonely, feel loss
This political message is expressed clearly by
When it rains? Rains endlessly –
the use of metaphor in both the source and
target texts: a bleed, a hunger like love,

‫يرشب املطر‬
ُ َ
‫النخيل‬ ‫أسمع‬
ُ ‫أكا ُد‬ Children, death. That›s rain.

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(O›Grady: 55) techniques focusing on the acceptability of the


translated text for the target readership, as will
The translator also interprets the original
be een in the next section.
relation between the subject (rain) and the
predicate (the rest of the sentence) in the
fifth line of this stanza by putting that subject
As we have seen the interpretive
at the beginning of the sentence, which is
translation approach occurs when
grammatically appropriate. Moreover, he
the translators of Unshudat al-Matar
interprets ‹ ‫ حزن‬huzin› in the ST by ‹grief› in
suggest a specific meaning, which
the translated text, while ‹sadness› is more
they think could be transmitted
appropriate equivalent for that word. ‹Grief›
to and understood by the target
is a lexical equivalent for ‹‫أسى‬ asaa›, as
readership. For this purpose, the
many Arabic-English dictionaries state.
translators try to keep the same
Furthermore, O›Grady interpreted ‹‫تنشج املزاريب‬
poetic functions of the ST, although
tanshaj almazarib› in the second line of this
they use a different linguistic system
stanza by ‹the sad song of rain-gutters›. Here,
the translator adds ‹the sad song› as an
interpersonal function to interpret this line. The creative approach
As we have seen the interpretive translation In the previous section, it was shown that
approach occurs when the translators of interpretive translation mainly focuses on
Unshudat al-Matar suggest a specific meaning, the semantic level of the poem. Unlike this
which they think could be transmitted to and approach, the creative translation approach
understood by the target readership. For this focuses on the stylistic elements used by the
purpose, the translators try to keep the same original poem, and emulates what are suitable
poetic functions of the ST, although they use of these stylistic elements for the system of
a different linguistic system. In other words, the language of the target text. In addition,
these translations submit the semantic level this approach uses wherever possible new
of the original poem to the system of the stylistic techniques to translate the poem
language of the target. However, some of so as to make the translated versions more
Unshudat al-Matar›s translations go further acceptable for the target readership. This is a
than this level, by creating different poetic dynamic approach, using an unlimited number

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of techniques to remedy the shift that occurs this translation involves stronger participation
between two different linguistic and cultural by the reader. Similarly, O›Grady changes the
systems. These techniques are revealed by stylistic form of the ST when he translates the
the domination of the linguistic and stylistic fifth stanza of Unshudat al-Matar (Appendix
features of the TT in the poem›s translations. 1, lines: 58 - 65). This change affects the
semantic level of the original poem:
For example, O›Grady uses a grammatical
technique called inversion to translate the first ‹Those palm trees drink rain. Listen!
and second lines of the first stanza (Appendix Villages
1). This technique helps him to create new
Moan. The thunderstorm of the Gulf sings:
stylistic forms by the translation of these lines:
Rain! Rain! Rain!›
‹In that hour before dawn
(ibid: 55)
Your eyes look two palm groves
This example shows us that O›Grady
Or twin balconies the moon passes›
practically creates a new poem by using
(O›Grady: 54) the imperative verb ‹listen› as a cohesive
conjunction to link the first sentence with
Unlike the ST, the TT uses the complement
the second one in the first line, ignoring the
of this sentence ‹in that hour before dawn›
grammatical cohesion used in the source
before the main sentence ‹your eyes look
text, which comes in a first person category
two palm groves›. This technique makes
using the present tense ‹ُ‫ أكاد‬akado› (Appendix
the translated poem more interesting for the
1, line: 58). In addition, the ellipsis used by
target readership, as the translator changes
the translator in the
the order of this
last line of the same
sentence when he Unlike the ST, the TT uses the
stanza ‹‫العراق‬ ‫وفي‬
begins with the complement of this sentence 'in that
‫ ›جوع‬affects not only
complement. This hour before dawn' before the main
the meaning of this
translation makes sentence 'your eyes look two palm
stanza, but the whole
the reader long for groves'. This technique makes the
semantic level of the
the rest of this poetic translated poem more interesting for the
poem, since this line
image. Therefore, target readership
indicates explicitly

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the political message of the poem. Moreover, same poem (Appendix 1, lines: 3741-). This
the emigrants are singing in the ST not the approach uses certain linguistic and stylistic
thunderstorm (Appendix 1, line: 59), and features, such as the use of the linking words,
the English equivalence for the Arabic word punctuation marks and other grammatical
‹‫ عواصف‬awasif›, which comes in plural form, tools, whose functions dominate the whole
is ‹storms› not ‹thunderstorm› as O›Grady poetic message of this stanza:
suggests. The same stanza was translated
But do you know what grief is caused by
by Salama, who uses a different technique
rain?
known as a phonemic approach to convey the
And how rain water drains whimper when
sounds that are produced by the rainfall. The
it pours,
translator applies his approach to replace the
harmony of the repetition of the word ‹rain› And how the lonesome feels that he is lost
in the ST by word ‹patter› in the TT. Salama Without an end, as spilled blood, as the
makes that harmony physically occur when hungry?
we listen to the repetition of ‹patter› in the
Like love, like children, like the dead – is
translated poem:
rain!
Rain-patter….
(Lulua: 489-)
Patter….
The functions of these features dominate
Patter…. the whole poetic message and orientate the
(Salama: 121)
Lulua uses a stylistic approach
However, as this translation uses a dynamic
to translate the fourth stanza of
and phonemic equivalence of ‹patter›, it
the same poem. This approach
does not cover the whole meaning of the
uses certain linguistic and stylistic
original poem, since the appropriate English
features, such as the use of the
equivalence for the Arabic word ‹‫ مطر‬matar›
linking words, punctuation marks
is ‹rain›.
and other grammatical tools, whose
Unlike Salama, Lulua uses a stylistic functions dominate the whole poetic
approach to translate the fourth stanza of the message

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meaning of this stanza. The use of ‹but› in from the source text, since the main focus of
the TT comes here as an additive conjunction this method is how to revive poetic images
to resume the poetic sequence between through the translation of the original poem.
this stanza and the previous one. Thus, The data analyses of the creative approach
this technique makes the flow between the alongside the literal and interpretive translation
translated poem›s approaches will be
stanzas smooth. The discussed in detail, in
Unshudat al-Matar's translations have
translator also uses order to understand
been approached in three types: literal,
passive form in the their techniques.
interpretive and creative translations.
first line of the same These techniques
These types seem to coexist in most
stanza ‹what grief are responsible for
translations of the poem
is caused by rain› producing the final
to emphasize the picture of Unshudat
object ‹grief›, whose significance affects the al-Matar›s translations, as we will see in the
whole semantic level of this stanza. On the next section.
stylistic level, the translator emulates the same
simile tool, which is represented in the original
Discussion
poem by the preposition ‹‫ك‬
َ ka› (Appendix 1,
lines:4041- ) by the preposition ‹as› in the In the previous sections, we have seen that
fourth line of the translated poem. Lulua also Unshudat al-Matar›s translations have been
uses proposition ‹like› instead of ‹as› for the approached in three types: literal, interpretive
same purpose in order to avoid repetition. and creative translations. These types
seem to coexist in most translations of the
The examples of creative translation show
poem. However, a certain translation can be
us that the participations of the translators are
considered as a literal, interpretive or creative
as important as the poet›s himself in producing
according to the dominance of particular
the English versions of Unshudat al-Matar.
techniques. The literal translation approach
This approach aims to recreate the poem
is reflected in the emulation of the TT to the
in an appropriate poetic style for the target
ST. This emulation occurs in the use of the
readership. Thus, the TT produced by this
same level of the original poem›s language.
approach is sometimes completely different

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The translations in the interpretive approach four structures: the Song of Rain, Rain Song,
offer specific interpretations to the original Song of the Rain and Song of Rain. The latter
poem. These interpretations focus on the occurs only in two structures: Hymn to Rain
semantic level of the poem by translating the and Hymn of the Rain. Thus, the literal type
meanings produced by this level. The creative approaches the title by using a translation that
approach exists through the creation of new considers the familiarity factor. This translation
stylistic features for the TT, regardless of exists through the use of the word ‹song› as
those used in the ST. This section compares a linguistic equivalence to ‹‫ أنشودة‬unshudat›
these three approaches. It also discusses the used by the source text. The interpretive type
differences between STs and TTs, in terms of approaches this title by going to its hidden
loss, common or unfaithful uses, as well as meaning, which occurs in the religious use of
the difficulties translators may face. the word ‹unshudat›. Therefore, this approach
translates the keyword of the title ‹unshudat› by
As we have seen in the section above
‹hymn›. This interpretive approach takes into
on the literal approach, this method is
consideration the religious relation between
sometimes necessary to emulate the same
the rainfall and the concept of hymn in the
linguistic features used by the ST. However,
ancient civilizations.
this approach faces
Therefore, this poem
several obstacles
At the literal translation level, the as a poetic discourse
because of the shift
poem is approached by two types is considerably affected
between two different
by the use of this
linguistic systems.
concept, since it practically dominates all
This shift occurs in the different linguistic
stanzas of Unshudat al-Matar, as can be seen
features in both the source and target text in
in the interpretations made by Deyoung›s and
the case of Unshudat al-Matar›s translations.
Salama›s translations.
These translations use different structures to
translate the poems’ title, such as in the cases At the literal translation level, the poem
of Lulua, Al-Udhari, etc. However, the title was is approached by two types. The first type
mainly rendered according to two types: literal is inaccurate, because the translators try to
and interpretive approaches. The former, emulate the misuse of a collocation in the
used in most of the translations, occurs in original text, as we have seen in the use of

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‹palm trees forests› instead of ‹palm trees The linking word ‹but› and the passive form
groves› in the translation of the first line of ‹grief is caused› are certainly not in the ST.
the poem (Appendix 1: line 1). The second The translator interprets these techniques by
type is more precise, as we have seen with reproducing the inner meaning of this line.
the use of ‹the early light› instead of ‹dawn› Lulua justifies this approach by saying that
in the translation of ‹‫ ساعة السحر‬saat alsahar› his ‹translation has kept to the ‹›meaning››
in the first line too (ibid). Here, this translation first, emulating the ‹›glamour› of the Arabic
uses a common expression, were that
English expression in possible at all› (Lulua,
the grammatical treatment used
the translated text. It is 2004: 4). Therefore,
by Deyoung was successful in the
worth mentioning that he emulates the same
case of translating a compound of
some techniques used word, used in the original
different verbal forms used in the
by the ST force the poem to describe hunger
source text: '‫ راح‬raha' (past tense)
translators to convey in Iraq. This emulation
and '‫ ينأى‬yanaa' (present tense) by
them literally in the target has proved that literal
one present perfect tense
text, and to maintain translation is sometimes
the same stylistic level. more appropriate than
These techniques use of linguistic features, other approaches. It has also proved that the
such as rhetorical questions and similes tools use of the grammatical technique used by the
(like and as), as with Lulua›s translation of the original poem helps the translator to convey
fourth stanza. Nevertheless, Lulua uses ‹but› appropriately the meaning of that technique.
as a conjunction word for the same stanza For example, the grammatical treatment used
(ibid: lines 3741-), and he grammatically by Deyoung was successful in the case of
changes the active form used by the original translating a compound of different verbal
text in the first line of fifth stanza to the passive forms used in the source text: ‹‫ راح‬raha› (past
form in the translated text: tense) and ‹‫ ينأى‬yanaa› (present tense) by one
present perfect tense:
‹But do you know what grief is caused by
rain?› ‹The moon has begun to recede›.

(Lulua, 2004:48) (Deyoung, 1993: 59)

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These examples decoding the figurative


may show that the literal language of the ST, and
Jayyusi and Middleton stand
translation approach emulates the technique
alone in their translation of the
exists through the use of of this language in the
word '‫ السحر‬alsahar' in the first
non-figurative language TT, as we have seen
line of Unshudat al-Matar. They
in both original poem and with Lulua›s interpretive
use a compound of two words
translated one, since the approach. The
'early light' to convey the Arabic
use of linguistic features translator focuses on
meaning represented by one word
adopted by the ST affects the techniques that link
'‫ السحر‬alsahar' as equivalence to
these used by the TT. the lines semantically.
the common meaning of this word
Therefore, this translation This interpretation exists
approach limits all through the use of some
presumed meanings of the original text to one stylistic and semantic features, such as the
explicit meaning in the translated text. use of conjunction word ‹yet› to change the
meaning of the fifth stanza from its descriptive
On the contrary, the interpretive approach
level in the original poem to the meaning of
attempts to translate the implicit meanings of
the objection in the translated poem. Thus, the
the original text by reading the hidden features
political message that dominates most lines of
used stylistically in the original poem, and
this poem suggested to the translator to use
uses them in the translated one. This is why
‹yet› as a strong stylistic tool to describe the
we have different translations for one poem:
situation in Iraq:
the semantic level of Unshudat al-Matar
has different interpretations, allowing the ‹Yet there is hunger in Iraq›
translators of the poem to approach it in different
(Lulua, 2004: 49)
readings. Hence, we have seen that there
This tool also directs the reader towards
are two types of the interpretive approaches.
assessing the meaning of the next stanza in
The first one appears in the misinterpretation
the translated poem. At a different level of
of the lexical level, which, in turn, leads to
interpretation, Jayyusi and Middleton stand
the mistranslation of the semantic levels, as
alone in their translation of the word ‹‫السحر‬
we have seen with Salama›s interpretation.
alsahar› in the first line of Unshudat al-
The second one systematically operates by

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Matar. They use a compound of two words Therefore the differences between the ST
‹early light› to convey the Arabic meaning and the TT are greater than those in the literal
represented by one word ‹‫ السحر‬alsahar› as and interpretive approaches. The creative
equivalence to the common meaning of this approach focuses on the target text›s poetic
word. Therefore, the translation of this line uses structure more than the meaning of the ST.
an understandable equivalence for the target Thus, we can classify this approach as a re-
readership to interpret this line. However, the writing translation type, since it aims to build
rest of the poem›s translators use the word a new poetic text based mainly on the original
‹dawn› to translate ‹alsahar›, which affects text, although the new text ignores some of
the whole semantic level of this line, although the important features of the original text.
it serves the interest of the poetic image of the For example, O›Grady uses different stylistic
translated poem. techniques to translate the fifth stanza of
Unshudat al-Matar. These techniques are
As to the creative translation approach,
represented by the metaphor used in the
we have seen that the translators of the
first line: ‹listen villages›, which is based on
Unshudat al-Matar sometimes change the
the use of imperative verb ‹listen› added to
meaning of the original poem. They mainly
the subject ‹village›. However, the original
focus on the target text and its accessibility to
text uses different
the target readership.
techniques, namely
For example, there
the translations made under the
rhetorical simile and
is a great difference
creative approach change not only
metonymy (Appendix 1:
between the meaning
the meaning of the ST, but build
lines 5865-). In addition,
of the ST and the
another register for the whole of the
the subordination in
meaning of TT in
poetic discourse. These changes
the original text comes
the translation of the
also raise the question of what
gradually and smoothly
fourth stanza made by
and where are the poem's original
by starting from (palm
O›Grady. He creates
elements in the translated text
tree, villages, and
completely new
emigrants), while
semantic techniques
the translator ignored this structure and
in the target source, instead of reproducing
began with the ‹village›. He also omits the
those used extensively in the source text.

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last line describing hunger in Iraq, at which of the linguistic and stylistic features used by
the original poem reaches its most intense the former. The second approach, interpretive
political expression. The changes made by translation, tries to go to the depths of the
the translator affect all aspects of the poetic original poem to uncover the inner meanings
discourse (field, mode and tenor). Therefore, of the text, and to use the meaning that is
the translations made under the creative presumed to have accessibility for the target
approach change not only the meaning of the readership. Thus, the approach›s translators
ST, but build another register for the whole exclude the lexical levels used by the ST in a
of the poetic discourse. These changes also certain level to justify their interpretations of
raise the question of what and where are the the original text. The third approach, creative
poem›s original elements in the translated translation, focuses on the linguistic and
text. stylistic features of the poetic structure used
in the translated text. Therefore, this approach
applies all potential poetic techniques of the
Concluding remarks
target language to reproduce these techniques
To conclude, the data analyses of Unshudat used by the ST in a new style. This approach
al-Matar alongside with the discussions of sometimes ignores the semantic level as a
these analyses show us that three approaches last resort of the original text by creating a
have been used to translate this poem. These totally different meaning for the translated
approaches have different purposes. The first text, since the main focus of this approach is
approach, literal translation, tries to preserve the accessibility of the translated text for the
as much as possible the same linguistic, target readership.
semantic and stylistic levels of the ST in the
Appendix 1: The Arabic version of Unshudat
TT, because it focuses on the maintenance
al-Matar

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‫أنشودة املطر‬
‫بدر شاكر السياب‬

‫مطر‪...‬‬ ‫ٍ‬
‫نخيل ساع َة السحر‬ ‫ِ‬
‫عيناك غابتا‬
‫تثاءب املسا ُء والغيو ُم ما تزال‬ ‫عنهام القمر‬ ‫ِ‬
‫َ‬ ‫راح ينأى ُ‬ ‫أو رشفتان َ‬
‫ْ‬
‫الثقال‪.‬‬ ‫تسح من دموعها‬ ‫ِ‬
‫تبسامن ت ُ‬ ‫ِ‬
‫تسح ما ّ‬
‫ّ‬ ‫ُورق الكروم‬ ‫عيناك حني‬
‫أن ينام‬ ‫بات هيذي َ‬
‫قبل ْ‬ ‫ال َ‬ ‫ّ‬
‫كأن طف ً‬ ‫ِ‬
‫كاألقامر يف هنر‬ ‫وترقص األضوا ُء‪..‬‬
‫ُ‬
‫بأن أ ّمه ‪ -‬التي َ‬
‫أفاق منذ عام‬ ‫ّ‬ ‫املجذاف َو ْهن ًا ساع َة السحر‬
‫ُ‬ ‫يرج ُه‬
‫ُّ‬
‫لج يف السؤال‬
‫فلم جيدْ ها‪ ،‬ثم حني َّ‬ ‫كأنّام تن ُب ُض يف غورهيام النجوم‪...‬‬
‫قالوا له‪« :‬بعد ٍ‬
‫غد تعود» ‪-‬‬
‫ال بدّ ْ‬
‫أن تعود‬ ‫أسى شفيف‬ ‫ضباب من ً‬ ‫ٍ‬ ‫وتغرقان يف‬
‫ُ‬
‫الرفاق أنهّ ا هناك‬ ‫هتامس‬ ‫ْ‬
‫وإن‬ ‫ِ‬
‫اليدين فو َق ُه املساء‬ ‫رس َح‬ ‫ِ‬
‫َ‬ ‫كالبحر َّ‬
‫جانب ِ‬
‫التل تنا ُم نوم َة اللحود‪،‬‬ ‫ِ‬ ‫يف‬ ‫ِ‬
‫الشتاء فيه وارتعاش ُة اخلريف‬ ‫دف ُء‬
‫وترشب املطر‬
‫ُ‬ ‫تسف من تراهبا‬
‫ُّ‬ ‫واملوت وامليال ُد والظال ُم والضياء‬ ‫ُ‬
‫جيمع الشباك‬
‫ُ‬ ‫كأن صياد ًا حزين ًا‬
‫ّ‬ ‫فتستفيق ملء روحي‪ ،‬رعش ُة البكاء‬ ‫ُ‬
‫ويلع ُن امليا َه والقدر‬ ‫ونشو ٌة وحشي ٌة تعانق السامء‬
‫وينثر الغناء حيث ُ‬
‫يأفل القمر‪.‬‬ ‫الطفل إذا خاف من القمر!‬‫ِ‬ ‫ِ‬
‫كنشوة‬
‫ُ‬
‫مطر‪...‬‬ ‫ترشب الغيو ْم‬
‫ُ‬ ‫ِ‬
‫السحاب‬ ‫أقواس‬
‫َ‬ ‫َّ‬
‫كأن‬
‫مطر‪...‬‬ ‫تذوب يف املطر‪...‬‬
‫ُ‬ ‫وقطر ًة فقطر ًة‬
‫حزن ُ‬
‫يبعث املطر؟‬ ‫ٍ‬ ‫أي‬ ‫ُ‬
‫أتعلمني َّ‬ ‫األطفال يف عرائش الكروم‪،‬‬ ‫وكركر‬
‫َ‬
‫املزاريب إذا اهنمر؟‬
‫ُ‬ ‫تنشج‬
‫ُ‬ ‫وكيف‬ ‫ِ‬
‫العصافري عىل الشجر‬ ‫صمت‬
‫َ‬ ‫ودغدغت‬
‫يشعر الوحيدُ فيه بالضياع؟‬
‫ُ‬ ‫وكيف‬ ‫أنشود ُة املطر‬
‫ِ‬
‫كاألطفال‬ ‫كاحلب‬
‫ّ‬ ‫بال انتهاء_ كالد ِم ا ُملراق‪ ،‬كاجلياع‬ ‫مطر‪...‬‬
‫كاملوتى –‬ ‫مطر‪...‬‬

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‫‪Kufa Review: Translating Al-Sayyab Into English‬‬

‫جوع‬ ‫ِ‬
‫العراق ٌ‬ ‫ويف‬ ‫هو املطر‬
‫وينثر الغالل فيه موسم احلصاد‬
‫ُ‬ ‫ومقلتاك يب تطيفان مع املطر‬
‫ُ‬
‫الغربان واجلراد‬ ‫لتشبع‬
‫َ‬ ‫متسح الربوق‬ ‫ِ‬
‫اخلليج ُ‬ ‫ِ‬
‫أمواج‬ ‫رب‬
‫وع َ‬
‫وتطحن الشوان واحلجر‬ ‫ِ‬
‫العراق‬ ‫َ‬
‫سواحل‬
‫ِ‬
‫احلقول… حوهلا برش‬ ‫تدور يف‬ ‫بالنجو ِم واملحار‪،‬‬
‫رحى ُ‬ ‫ً‬
‫مطر‪...‬‬ ‫هتم بالرشوق‬
‫كأهنا ُّ‬
‫مطر‪...‬‬ ‫فيسحب ُ‬
‫الليل عليها من د ٍم دثار‬ ‫ُ‬
‫مطر‪...‬‬ ‫أصيح باخليلج‪« :‬يا خليج‬
‫ُ‬
‫وكم ذرفنا ليل َة الرحيل من دموع‬ ‫ِ‬
‫واملحار والردى»‬ ‫واهب اللؤلؤ‬
‫َ‬ ‫يا‬
‫خوف أن نُال َم ‪ -‬باملطر‬
‫َ‬ ‫ثم اعتللنا ‪-‬‬ ‫فريجع الصدى كأ ّن ُه النشيج‪:‬‬
‫مطر‪...‬‬ ‫«يا خليج‪ :‬يا واهب املحار والردى‪»..‬‬
‫مطر‪...‬‬
‫ومنذ أن كنّا صغار ًا‪ ،‬كانت السامء‬ ‫يذخر الرعود‬
‫ُ‬ ‫َ‬
‫العراق‬ ‫أسمع‬
‫ُ‬ ‫أكا ُد‬
‫تغيم يف الشتاء‬ ‫ِ‬
‫السهول واجلبال‬ ‫َ‬
‫الربوق يف‬ ‫ُ‬
‫وخيزن‬
‫ُ‬
‫ُ‬
‫وهيطل املطر‬ ‫ختمها الرجال‬
‫فض عنها َ‬
‫حتى إذا ما ّ‬
‫يعشب الثرى‪ -‬نجوع‬
‫ُ‬ ‫ّ‬
‫وكل عا ٍم ‪ -‬حني‬ ‫الرياح من ثمود‬
‫ُ‬ ‫مل ترتك‬
‫ليس فيه جوع‬ ‫ُ‬ ‫ِ‬
‫والعراق َ‬ ‫مر عا ٌم‬
‫ما َّ‬ ‫الواد من أثر‪.‬‬ ‫يف‬
‫‪...‬مطر‬ ‫يرشب املطر‬
‫ُ‬ ‫َ‬
‫النخيل‬ ‫أسمع‬
‫ُ‬ ‫أكا ُد‬
‫‪...‬مطر‬ ‫وأسمع القرى تئ ّن‪ ،‬واملهاجرين‬
‫ُ‬
‫‪...‬مطر‬ ‫ِ‬
‫باملجاذيف وبالقلوع‬ ‫يصارعون‬
‫ٍ‬
‫قطرة من املطر‬ ‫يف ّ‬
‫كل‬ ‫ِ‬
‫اخلليج والرعود‪ ،‬منشدين‬ ‫عواصف‬
‫َ‬
‫محرا ُء أو صفرا ُء من أجنّة الزهر‬ ‫مطر‪..‬‬
‫ٍ‬
‫دمعة من اجليا ِع والعراة‬ ‫ّ‬
‫وكل‬ ‫مطر ‪..‬‬
‫ُراق من د ِم العبيد‬ ‫ٍ‬
‫قطرة ت ُ‬ ‫ّ‬
‫وكل‬ ‫مطر‪...‬‬

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‫‪KUFA REVIEW: Academic Journal‬‬

‫ويف العراق ألف أفعى ترشب الرحيق‬ ‫ِ‬


‫انتظار مبس ٍم جديد‬ ‫فهي ابتسا ٌم يف‬
‫من زهرة ُيربهّ ا الفرات بالندى‬ ‫دت عىل ف ِم الوليد‬ ‫أو حلم ٌة ّ‬
‫تور ْ‬
‫وأسمع الصدى‬ ‫ِ‬
‫واهب احلياة‬ ‫الفتي‬ ‫يف عاملِ ِ‬
‫الغد‬
‫ُ‬ ‫ّ‬
‫ّ‬
‫يرن يف اخلليج‪:‬‬ ‫‪...‬مطر‬
‫‪...‬مطر‬ ‫‪...‬مطر‬
‫‪...‬مطر‬ ‫‪...‬مطر‬
‫‪...‬مطر‬ ‫ُ‬
‫العراق باملطر‬ ‫سيعشب‬
‫ُ‬
‫ٍ‬
‫قطرة من املطر‬ ‫يف كل‬ ‫أصيح باخلليج‪« :‬يا خليج‪..‬‬
‫ُ‬
‫محراء أو صفراء من ِ‬
‫أجنة الزهر‬ ‫واهب اللؤلؤ واملحار والردى»‬ ‫يا‬
‫ُ‬ ‫ُ‬ ‫َ‬
‫ٍ‬
‫دمعة من اجليا ِع والعراة‬ ‫ّ‬
‫وكل‬ ‫فريجع الصدى كأنه النشيج‪:‬‬
‫ٍ‬
‫قطرة تُراق من د ِم العبيد‬ ‫وكل‬ ‫«يا خليج‪ :‬يا واهب املحار والردى»‬
‫ِ‬
‫انتظار مبس ٍم جديد‬ ‫فهي ابتسا ٌم يف‬ ‫اخلليج من هباته الكثار‬
‫ُ‬ ‫وينثر‬
‫ُ‬
‫أو حلم ٌة ّ‬
‫توردت عىل ف ِم الوليد‬ ‫عىل الرمال‪ ،‬رغو َة األجاج‪ ،‬واملحار‬
‫ِ‬
‫واهب احلياة‬ ‫يف عاملِ ِ‬
‫الغد الفتي‪،‬‬ ‫وما تبقى من عظام بائس غريق‬
‫ُ‬
‫‪...‬وهيطل املطر‬ ‫من املهاجرين ظل يرشب الردى‬
‫‪(Al-Sayyab, 2005: 119- 124‬‬ ‫من جلة اخلليج والقرار‬

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Kufa Review: Translating Al-Sayyab Into English

Notes 5. Frangieh, B., “Song of Rain”. Banipal, no. 17


(summer 2003): 2931-.
* Ghareeb Iskander is an Iraqi academic and poet
living in London. He published the following books: 6. Jayyusi, S. (ed.), 1987, Modern Arabic Poetry, New

Af’a Gilgamesh (Gilgamesh’s Snake), collection of York: Columbia University Press.

poems, 2012 (in Arabic), al-Khitab (Discourse, by 7. Lulua, A., 2004, Arabic Poetry in Iraq, Kuwait: the
Sara Mills), 2012, Mahaffat al-wahm (A Chariot of foundation of Abdulaziz Saud al-Babtain.
Illusion), collection of poems, 2009, Semiotic Trends
8. O›Grady, D, 1992, Ten Modern Arab Poets, Dublin:
in the Critique of Arabic Poetry, 2002, Sawad Basiq
the Dedalus Press.
(High Darkness), collection of poems, 2001
9. Salama, A., ‹›Modern Arabic Poetry››. Journal of
1. Al-Udhari, A., 1986, Modern Poetry of the Arab
Arabic Literature 3, no 1 (1972): 118126-.
World, London: Penguin Books.
10. Scott, C, Translating Baudelaire, 2000, University of
2. Boullata, I., 1976, Modern Arab Poets 19501975-,
Exeter Press: Exeter.
London: Heinemann Educational Books LTD.
11. Shaheen, M,. 1992, T. S. Elliot and His Impact on
3. Deyoung, T., ‹›A New Reading of Bader Shaker
Abdulsabour and Assayab, Beirut: Arab Institute for
al-Sayyab›s Hymn of the Rain››. Journal of Arabic
Research and Publishing.
Literature 24, no.1 (March 1993): 3961-.
12. Sayyab, B, 2005, Diwan Badr Shakir al-Sayyab,
4. ---------------. 1998, Placing the Poet, Bader Shaker
Beirut: Dar Alawda.
al-Sayyab and Postcolonial Iraq, New York: State
University of New York Press.

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