Fundamentals of Industrial

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About the Author
WILLIAM DUNN has degree in physics from the University of London and
electrical engineering degree from the University of Ottawa. He has also
worked for over 40 years in product research, design, and management in
the electronics industry. More recently he has worked as an adjunct
professor teaching digital electronics, industrial instrumentation and
process control, logic controllers, and industrial motor control. He holds
more than 25 patents and has presented over 30 papers at industrial
conferences.

2
3
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5
 Contents

Preface
Acknowledgment

1 Introduction
Chapter Objectives
1.1 Introduction
1.1.1 History
1.2 Process Control
1.3 Definition of the Elements in a Control Loop
1.4 Process Facility Considerations
1.5 Units and Standards
1.6 Instrument Accuracy
Summary
Problems

2 Pressure
Chapter Objectives
2.1 Introduction
2.2 Basic Terms
2.2.1 Density
2.2.2 Impact Pressure
2.3 Pressure Measurements
2.4 Pressure Formulas
2.5 Measuring Instruments
2.5.1 Manometers
2.5.2 Diaphragms, Capsules, and Bellows
2.5.3 Bourdon Tubes
2.5.4 Other Pressure Sensors
2.5.5 Vacuum Instruments

6
 2.6 Application Considerations
2.6.1 Selection
2.6.2 Installation
2.6.3 Calibration
Summary
Problems

3 Level
Chapter Objectives
3.1 Introduction
3.2 Level Formulas
3.3 Level Sensing Devices
3.3.1 Direct Level Sensing
3.3.2 Indirect Level Sensing
3.4 Application Considerations
Summary
Problems

4 Flow
Chapter Objectives
4.1 Introduction
4.2 Basic Terms
4.3 Flow Formulas
4.3.1 Continuity Equation
4.3.2 Bernoulli Equation
4.3.3 Flow Losses
4.4 Flow Measurement Instruments
4.4.1 Flow Rate
4.4.2 Total Flow
4.4.3 Mass Flow
4.4.4 Dry Particulate Flow Rate
4.4.5 Open Channel Flow
4.5 Application Considerations
4.5.1 Selection
4.5.2 Installation
4.5.3 Calibration
Summary

7
 Problems

5 Temperature and Heat

Chapter Objectives
5.1 Introduction
5.2 Basic Terms
5.2.1 Temperature Definitions
5.2.2 Heat Definitions
5.2.3 Thermal Expansion Definitions
5.3 Temperature and Heat Formulas
5.3.1 Temperature
5.3.2 Heat Transfer
5.3.3 Thermal Expansion
5.4 Temperature Measuring Devices
5.4.1 Thermometers
5.4.2 Pressure-Spring Thermometers
5.4.3 Resistance Temperature Devices
5.4.4 Thermistors
5.4.5 Thermocouples
5.4.6 Semiconductors
5.5 Application Considerations
5.5.1 Selection
5.5.2 Range and Accuracy
5.5.3 Thermal Time Constant
5.5.4 Installation
5.5.5 Calibration
5.5.6 Protection
Summary
Problems

6 Humidity, Density, Viscosity, and pH

Chapter Objectives
6.1 Introduction
6.2 Humidity
6.2.1 Humidity Definitions
6.2.2 Humidity Measuring Devices
6.3 Density and Specific Gravity

8
 6.3.1 Basic Terms
6.3.2 Density Measuring Devices
6.3.3 Density Application Considerations
6.4 Viscosity
6.4.1 Basic Terms
6.4.2 Viscosity Measuring Instruments
6.5 pH Measurements
6.5.1 Basic Terms
6.5.2 pH Measuring Devices
6.5.3 pH Application Considerations
Summary
Problems

7 Position, Motion, and Force

Chapter Objectives
7.1 Introduction
7.2 Position and Motion Sensing
7.2.1 Basic Position Definitions
7.2.2 ON/OFF Position Sensing
7.2.3 Motion and Distance Sensing
7.2.4 Rotation Sensing
7.2.5 Position Application Consideration
7.3 Force, Torque, and Load Cells
7.3.1 Basic Definitions of Force and Torque
7.3.2 Force and Torque Measuring Devices
7.3.3 Force and Torque Application Considerations
Summary
Problems

8 Safety and Alarm

Chapter Objectives
8.1 Introduction
8.2 Safety Hazards
8.2.1 Personnel Hazards
8.2.2 Environmental Hazards
8.2.3 Control Equipment Hazards
8.2.4 Process Equipment Hazards

9
 8.3 Safety Sensors
8.3.1 Smoke and Fire Sensors
8.3.2 Heat Sensors
8.3.3 Gas Sensors
8.3.4 Artificial Senses Chemical Sensors
8.3.5 Radiation Detectors
8.4 Process Equipment Safety
8.4.1 Alarm and Trip Systems
8.4.2 Safety Instrumented Systems
8.4.3 Power Loss Fail Safe
8.4.4 Safety Instrumented System Example
8.5 Safety and Protection
8.5.1 Personnel Protection
8.5.2 Environmental Protection
8.5.3 Equipment Protection
Summary
Problems

9 Electrical Instruments and Conditioning

Chapter Objectives
9.1 Introduction
9.2 Instrument Parameters
9.2.1 Basic Terms
9.3 Transducers
9.3.1 Definitions
9.3.2 Visual Display Considerations
9.3.3 Mechanical Motion to Electrical Transducers
9.4 Operational Amplifiers
9.4.1 Voltage Amplifiers
9.4.2 Current Amplifiers
9.4.3 Differential Amplifiers
9.4.4 Converters
9.4.5 Buffer Amplifiers
9.4.6 Nonlinear Amplifiers
9.4.7 Instrument Amplifier
9.5 Signal Conditioning
9.5.1 Offset Zero

10
 9.5.2 Span Adjustment
9.5.3 Linearization in Analog Circuits
9.5.4 Linearization in Digital Circuits
9.5.5 Temperature Correction
9.6 Bridge Circuits
9.6.1 DC Bridges
9.6.2 Current-Balanced Bridge
9.6.3 Strain Gauge Sensors
9.6.4 AC Bridges
9.6.5 Capacitive Sensors
9.6.6 Resistance Sensors
9.6.7 Magnetic Sensors
Summary
Problems

10 Regulators, Valves, and Actuators

Chapter Objectives
10.1 Introduction
10.2 Pressure Controllers
10.2.1 Regulators
10.2.2 Safety Valves
10.2.3 Level Regulators
10.3 Flow Control Actuators
10.3.1 Globe Valve
10.3.2 Flow Control
10.3.3 Butterfly Valve
10.3.4 Other Valve Types
10.3.5 Valve Characteristics
10.3.6 Valve Fail Safe
10.4 Actuators
10.4.1 Operation
10.4.2 Control Valves
10.5 Electronic Devices
10.6 Application Considerations
10.6.1 Valves
Summary
Problems

11
11 Process Control
Chapter Objectives
11.1 Introduction
11.2 Basic Terms
11.3 Control Modes
11.3.1 ON/OFF Action
11.3.2 Differential Action
11.3.3 Proportional Action
11.3.4 Derivative Action
11.3.5 Integral Action
11.3.6 PID Action
11.4 Implementation of Control Loops
11.4.1 ON/OFF Action Pneumatic Controller
11.4.2 ON/OFF Action Electrical Controller
11.4.3 PID Action Pneumatic Controller
11.4.4 PID Action Control Circuits
11.4.5 PID Electronic Controller
11.5 Digital Controllers
Summary
Problems

12 Documentation and Symbol Standards

Chapter Objectives
12.1 Introduction
12.2 System Documentation
12.2.1 Manuals
12.2.2 Alarm and Trip System Documentation
12.2.3 Safety Documentation
12.2.4 PLC Documentation
12.2.5 Circuit Diagrams
12.2.6 Bussing Information
12.3 Pipe and Identification Diagrams
12.3.1 Standardization
12.3.2 Interconnections
12.3.3 Instrument Symbols
12.3.4 Instrument Identification
12.4 Functional Symbols

12
 12.4.1 Actuators
12.4.2 Primary Elements
12.4.3 Regulators
12.4.4 Math Functions
12.5 P and ID Drawings
Summary
Problems

13 Signal Transmission
Chapter Objectives
13.1 Introduction
13.2 Pneumatic Transmission
13.3 Analog Transmission
13.3.1 Noise Considerations
13.3.2 Voltage Signals
13.3.3 Current Signals
13.3.4 Signal Conversion
13.3.5 Thermocouples
13.3.6 Resistance Temperature Devices
13.4 Digital Transmission
13.4.1 Transmission Standards
13.4.2 Smart Sensors
13.4.3 Foundation Fieldbus and Profibus
13.5 Digital Signal Converters
13.5.1 Analog-to-Digital Conversion
13.5.2 Digital-to-Analog Conversion
13.6 Telemetry
13.6.1 Width Modulation
13.6.2 Frequency Shift Modulation
Summary
Problems

14 Logic Gates
Chapter Objectives
14.1 Introduction
14.2 Digital Numbers
14.2.1 Converting Binary Numbers to Decimal Numbers

13
 14.2.2 Converting from Decimal to Binary
14.3 Digital Logic Gates
14.3.1 Buffer Gate
14.3.2 AND Gate
14.3.3 OR Gate
14.3.4 NOT Gate
14.3.5 Signal Inversion
14.3.6 XOR Gates
14.3.7 Logic Symbols
14.4 Boolean Algebra
14.5 Functional Building Blocks
Summary
Problems

15 Programmable Logic Controllers

Chapter Objectives
15.1 Introduction
15.2 Programmable Controller
15.3 Controller Operation
15.4 Input and Output Modules
15.4.1 Discrete Input Modules
15.4.2 Analog Input Modules
15.4.3 Special Function Input Modules
15.4.4 Discrete Output Modules
15.4.5 Analog Output Modules
15.4.6 Smart Input and Output Modules
15.5 Ladder Diagrams
15.5.1 Input and Output Symbols
15.5.2 Ladder Layout
15.5.3 Ladder Gate Equivalent
15.5.4 Ladder Applications
Summary
Problems

16 Motor Control
Chapter Objectives
16.1 Introduction

14
 16.2 Motor Classification
16.3 Motor Operation
16.3.1 DC Motors
16.3.2 AC Motors
16.3.3 Single-Phase Motor
16.3.4 Three-Phase Motors
16.3.5 Universal Motors
16.3.6 Stepping Motors
16.3.7 Servomotors and Synchro Motors
16.4 Motor Ratings
16.4.1 Electrical Ratings
16.4.2 Control Equipment Ratings
16.4.3 Enclosure Standards
16.5 Motor Control Applications
16.5.1 Two- and Three-Wire Starting
16.5.2 Startup Control
16.5.3 Wound Rotor Motor
16.5.4 Speed Control
16.5.5 DC Motor
16.5.6 Actuator Control
16.5.7 Stepper Motor
16.6 Motor Protection
Summary
Problems

A Units

B Thermocouple Tables

C References and Information Resources

D Abbreviations

Glossary

Answers to Odd-Numbered Questions

Index

15
 Preface

he evolution of industrial processing and control has gone

T through several industrial revolutions to the complexities of

modern day microprocessor controlled processing. Today’s
technology evolution has made it possible to measure
parameters deemed impossible only a few years ago, as well as
improvements in accuracy, tighter control, and waste reduction.
This text was specifically written as an introduction to modern day
industrial instrumentation and process control for the two-year technical,
vocational, or degree student and as a reference manual for managers,
engineers, and technicians working in the field of instrumentation and
process control. It is anticipated that the perspective student will have a
basic understanding of mathematics, electricity, and physics. This course
should adequately prepare a perspective candidate wishing to become a
technician, or for the perspective engineer wishing to get a solid basic
understanding of instrumentation and process control in this ever changing
field.
Instrumentation and process control involves a wide range of
technologies and sciences, and is used in an unprecedented number of
industrial applications from applications in the home and office such as
heating and cooling control and hot water systems, to chemical and
automotive instrumentation and process control. This text is designed to
cover all aspects of industrial instrumentation, such as sensing a wide
range of variables, the transmission and recording of the sensed signal,
controllers for signal evaluation, and the control of the manufacturing
process for a quality and uniform product.
Chapter 1 gives an introduction to industrial instrumentation. Chapters
2–8 describe the wide range of sensors and their use in the measurement of
a wide variety of physical variables, such as level, pressure, flow,
temperature, humidity, density, position, force, and safety. Chapter 9
discusses signal conditioning, amplification, bridge circuits, and
temperature compensation. The use of regulators and actuators for

16
controlling pressure, flow, and the control of the input variables to a
process are discussed in Chap. 10. System configurations are given in
Chap. 11 which cover ON/OFF systems and the types of feedback used in
closed-loop systems. In Chap. 12, documentation as applied to
instrumentation and control is introduced, together with standard symbols
recommended by the Instrument Society of America (ISA) for use in
instrumentation control diagrams. Electronics and pneumatics are the
mediums for signal transmission, and control. The use of the HART
protocol is considered together with analog-to-digital signal conversion in
Chap. 13. Chapter 14 introduces number conversions, logic gates, and
functional building blocks. Chapter 15 discusses the programmable logic
controller and ladder diagrams. Finally, in Chap. 16, various types of
electric motors and their use in process control are discussed.
The primary reason for writing this book was that the author felt there
was not a clear, concise, and up-to-date text for understanding the basics of
instrumentation and process control from the perspective of the technician
and engineer. The Second Edition has been expanded to try and cover as
many of the basics as possible that are used in process control. Every effort
has been made to ensure that the text is accurate, easily readable, and
understandable.
Both engineering and scientific units are discussed in the text. Each
chapter contains worked examples for clarification, with exercise problems
at the end of each chapter. A glossary is given at the end of the text. There
are answers to the odd numbered questions in the Appendix. An
instructor’s manual with answers to the problems is available online.

17
 Acknowledgment

I would like to thank my wife Nadine for her patience, understanding, and
many helpful suggestions during the writing of this text.

18
 CHAPTER 1
Introduction

Chapter Objectives
This chapter is to introduce you to instrumentation, the various
measurement units used, and why process control relies extensively on
instrumentation. This chapter will help you become familiar with
instrument terminology and standards.
Topics discussed in this chapter are as follows:

• The basics of a process-control loop

• Definition of the elements in a control loop
• The difference between the various types of variables
• Considerations in a process facility
• Units, standards, and prefixes used in parameter measurements
• Comparison of the English and the SI units of measurement
• Instrument accuracy and the parameters that affect an instrument’s
performance

1.1 Introduction
Instrumentation is the basis used in industry for process control. However,
it comes in many forms, from domestic water heaters and HVAC (heating,
ventilation, and air-conditioning), where the variable temperature is
measured and used to control gas, oil, or electricity flow to the water
heater, or heating system, or electricity to the compressor for refrigeration,

19
to complex industrial process-control applications such as the ones used in
the petroleum or chemical industry.
In industrial control a wide number of variables can be sensed
simultaneously from temperature, flow, and pressure to time and distance,
all of which can be interdependent variables in a single process requiring
complex microprocessor systems for total control. Due to the rapid
advances in technology, instruments in use today may be obsolete
tomorrow; new and more efficient measurement techniques are constantly
being introduced. These changes are being driven by the need for higher
accuracy, quality, precision, and performance. To measure parameters
accurately, techniques have been developed that were thought impossible
only a few years ago.

1.1.1 History
Manufacturing can be dated back to when humans first made tools, clay
pots, bowls, plates, and the like in the early stone age or before. It may
have been crude manufacturing, but nonetheless it was a manufacturing
process, with control in the hands of the maker. Limited process control
came with the mining and smelting of copper and then tin to make bronze
for the manufacturing of tools, weapons, and so on some two millennia
BCE. Iron was then discovered and used to replace bronze for tools,
weapons, and suits of armor and chain mail appeared as manufacturing
processes became better understood and a degree of quality control was
initiated. About this time the water wheel came into being and was used
for pumping water, crushing ore, and grinding wheat, corn, and the like.
The next big step in manufacturing came with Watt’s steam engine in the
1770s. The steam engine provided the power to drive manufacturing
machines, and hence the start of the industrial revolution. To support and
control the manufacturing process, came the need for sensors, instruments,
and process control. Pneumatics then came into being to give the feedback
signals for control and automation. The development of the electric motor
gave greater flexibility in power generation and control until today with
the development of the electronics industry we have process controllers
that can simultaneously change many variables and control many actuators
and valves for temperature and flow. The assembly and production lines
give tight control and high-quality processing. We must also mention the
many organizations that have come into being for developing process
rules, regulations, and standardization.

20
1.2 Process Control
In order to produce a product with consistent high quality, tight process
control is necessary. A simple-to-understand example of process control
would be the supply of water to a number of cleaning stations, where the
water temperature needs to be kept constant in spite of the demand. A
simple control block is shown in Fig. 1.1a: steam and cold water are fed
into a heat exchanger, where heat from the steam is used to bring the cold
water to the required working temperature. A thermometer is used to
measure the temperature of the water (the measured variable) from the
process or exchanger. The temperature is observed by an operator who
adjusts the flow of steam (the manipulated variable) into the heat
exchanger to keep the water flowing from the heat exchanger at the
constant set temperature. This operation is referred to as process control,
and in practice would be automated as shown in Fig. 1.1b.

FIGURE 1.1 Process control showing (a) the manual control of a simple
heat exchanger process loop and (b) automatic control of a heat exchanger
process loop.

Process control is the automatic control of an output variable by

sensing the amplitude of the output parameter from the process and
comparing it to the desired or set level and feeding an error signal back to
control an input variable in this case steam. See Fig. 1.1b. A temperature
sensor attached to the outlet pipe senses the temperature of the water
flowing. As the demand for hot water increases or decreases, a change in

21
the water temperature is sensed and converted to an electrical signal which
is then amplified and sent to a controller that evaluates the signal and
sends a correction signal to an actuator, which adjusts the flow of steam to
the heat exchanger to keep the temperature of the water at its
predetermined value.
The diagram in Fig. 1.1b is an oversimplified feedback loop and is
expanded in Fig. 1.2. In any process there are a number of inputs, i.e.,
from chemicals to solid goods. These are manipulated in the process and a
new chemical or component emerges at the output. The controlled inputs
to the process and the measured output parameters from the process are
called variables.

FIGURE 1.2 Block diagram of a process-control loop.

In a process-control facility the controller is not necessarily limited to

one variable, but it can measure and control many variables. A good
example of the measurement and control of multivariables that we
encounter on a daily basis is performed by the processor in the automobile
engine.
Figure 1.3 lists some of the functions performed by the engine
processor. Most of the controlled variables are six or eight devices
depending on the number of cylinders in the engine. The engine processor
has to perform all of these functions in approximately 5 ms. This example
of engine control can be related to the operations carried out in a process-
control operation.

22
FIGURE 1.3 Automotive engine showing some of the measured and
controlled variables.

1.3 Definition of the Elements in a Control

Loop
Figure 1.4 breaks down the individual elements of the blocks in a process-
control loop. The measuring element consists of a sensor, a transducer, and
a transmitter with its own regulated power supply. The control element has
an actuator, a power control circuit, and its own power supply. The
controller has a processor with a memory and a summing circuit to
compare the set point to the sensed signal so that it can generate an error
signal. The processor then uses the error signal to generate a correction
signal to control the actuator and the input variable. The function and
operation of the blocks in different types of applications will be discussed
in Chaps. 9, 10, and 11. The definition of these blocks is given as follows:

23
FIGURE 1.4 Block diagram of the elements that make up the feedback
path in a process-control loop.

Feedback loop is the signal path from the output back to the
input to correct for any variation between the output level from
the set level. In other words, the output of a process is being
continually monitored. The error between the set point and the
output parameter is determined, and a correction signal is then
sent back to one of the process inputs to correct for changes in
the measured output parameter.
Controlled or measured variable is the monitored output
variable from a process, and the value of the monitored output
parameter is normally held within tight given limits.
Manipulated variable is the input variable or parameter to a
process that is varied by a control signal from the processor to
an actuator. By changing the input variable, the value of the
measured variable can be controlled.
Set point is the desired value of the output parameter or variable
being monitored by a sensor. Any deviation from this value will
generate an error signal.
Instrument is the name of any various device types for
indicating or measuring physical quantities or conditions,

24
performance, position, or direction, and the like.
Sensors are devices that can detect physical variables, such as
temperature, light intensity, or motion, and have the ability to
give a measurable output that varies in relation to the amplitude
of the physical variable. The human body has sensors in the
fingers that can detect surface roughness, temperature, and
force. A thermometer is a good example of a line-of-sight
sensor, in that it will give an accurate visual indication of
temperature. In other sensors such as a diaphragm pressure
sensor, a strain transducer may be required to convert the
deformation of the diaphragm into an electrical or pneumatic
signal, before it can be measured.
Transducers are devices that can change one form of energy to
another, e.g., a resistance thermometer converts temperature
into electrical resistance, or a thermocouple converts
temperature into a voltage. Both of these devices give an output
that is proportional to the temperature. Many transducers are
grouped under the heading of sensors.
Converters are devices that are used to change the format of a
signal without changing the energy form, i.e., a change from a
voltage to a current signal.
Actuators are devices that are used to control an input variable
in response to a signal from a controller. A typical actuator will
be a flow control valve, which can control the rate of flow of a
fluid in proportion to the amplitude of an electrical signal from
the controller. Other types of actuators are magnetic relays that
turn on and off electrical power, such as power to the fans and
compressor in an air-conditioning system in response to signals
from the room temperature sensors.
Controllers are devices that monitor signals from transducers
and take the necessary action to keep the process within
specified limits according to a predefined program by activating
and controlling the necessary actuators.
Programmable logic controllers (PLCs) are used in process-
control applications, and are microprocessor-based systems.
Small systems have the ability to monitor several variables and
control several actuators, with the capability of being expanded
to monitor 60 or 70 variables and control a corresponding

25
 number of actuators, as may be required in a petrochemical
refinery. PLCs have the ability to use analog or digital input
information and output analog or digital control signals. They
can also communicate globally with other controllers, are easily
programmed on line or off line, and supply an unprecedented
amount of data and information to the operator. Ladder
networks are normally used to program the controllers.
An error signal is the difference between the set point and the
amplitude of the measured variable.
A correction signal is the signal used to control power to the
actuator to set the level of the input variable.
Transmitters are devices used to amplify and format signals so
that they can transmit data over long distances without loss of
accuracy. The transmitted signal can be in one of several
formats, i.e., pneumatic, digital, analog voltage, analog current,
or as a radio frequency (RF) modulated signal. Digital
transmission is preferred in newer systems since the controller
is microprocessor based. Analog data transmission is still used
over short distances, and in some systems both analog data and
digital data are combined (see Chap. 13). The controller
compares the amplitude of the signal from the sensor to a
predetermined set point, which in Fig. 1.1b is the amplitude of
the signal of the hot water sensor. The controller will then send
a signal that is proportional to the difference between the
reference and the transmitted signal to the actuator telling the
actuator to open or close the valve controlling the flow of steam
to adjust the temperature of the water to its set value.
Example 1.1 Figure 1.5 shows the block diagram of a closed-loop flow
control system. Identify the following elements: (a) the sensor, (b) the
transducer, (c) the actuator, (d) the transmitter, (e) the controller, (f) the
manipulated variable, and (g) the measured variable.

26
FIGURE 1.5 Process control with a flow regulator for use in Example 1.1.

Solution (a) The sensor is labeled pressure cell in the diagram. (b) The
transducer is labeled converter. There are two transducers—one for
converting pressure to current and the other for converting current to
pressure to operate the actuator. (c) The actuator in this case is the
pneumatic valve. (d) The transmitter is the line driver. (e) The controller is
labeled as a PLC. (f) The manipulated variable is the differential pressure
developed by the fluid flowing through the orifice plate constriction. (g)
The controlled variable is the flow rate of the liquid.

Simple and ideal process-control systems have been discussed. In

practical process control, the scenarios are much more complex with many
scenarios and variables to be considered, such as stability, reaction time,
and accuracy. Many of the basic problems are discussed in the following
chapters.

1.4 Process Facility Considerations

The process facility has a number of basic requirements including safety
precautions and well regulated, reliable electrical, water, and air supplies.
An electrical supply is required for all control systems and must meet
all standards in force at the plant. The integrity of the electrical supply is
most important. Many facilities have backup systems to provide an

27
uninterruptible power supply (UPS) to take over in case of loss of external
power. Power failure can mean plant shutdown and the loss of complete
production runs. Isolating transformers should be used in the power supply
lines to prevent electromagnetic interference (EMI) generated by motors,
contactors, relays, and so on from traveling through the power lines and
affecting sensitive electronic control instruments.
Grounding is a very important consideration in a facility for safety
reasons. Any variations in the ground potential between electronic
equipment can cause large errors in signal levels. Each piece of equipment
should be connected to a heavy copper bus that is properly grounded.
Ground loops should also be avoided by grounding cable screens and
signal return lines at one end only. In some cases, it may be necessary to
use signal isolators to alleviate grounding problems in electronic devices
and equipment.
An air supply is required to drive pneumatic actuators in most facilities.
Instrument air in pneumatic equipment must meet quality standards. The
air must be dirt, oil, contaminant, and moisture free. Frozen moisture, dirt,
and the like can block or partially block restrictions and nozzles giving
false readings or complete equipment failure. Air compressors are fitted
with air dryers and filters, and have a reservoir tank with a capacity large
enough for several minutes’ supply in case of system failure. Dry clean air
is supplied at a pressure of 90 psig (630 kPa(g)) and with a dew point of
20°F (10°C) below the minimum winter operating temperature at
atmospheric pressure. Additional information on the quality of instrument
air can be found in ANSI/ISA-7.0.01-1996, Quality Standard for
Instrument Air.
Water supply is required for many cleaning and cooling operations, and
for steam generation. Domestic water supplies contain large quantities of
particulates and impurities, and may be satisfactory for cooling, but are not
suitable for most cleaning operations. Filtering and other similar processes
can remove some of contaminates making the water suitable for some
cleaning operations. But in case of ultrapure water a reverse osmosis
system may be required.
Installation and maintenance must be considered when locating
instruments, valves, and so on. Each device must be easily accessible for
maintenance and inspection. It may also be necessary to install hand-
operated valves so that equipment can be replaced or serviced without
complete plant shutdown. It may be necessary to contract out maintenance
of certain equipment or have the vendor install equipment, if the necessary
skills are not available in-house.

28
 Safety is a top priority in a facility. The correct material must be used in
container construction, plumbing, seals, and gaskets to prevent corrosion
and failure leading to leakage and spills of hazardous materials. All
electrical equipment must be properly installed to code with breakers.
Electrical systems must have the correct fire retardant for use in case of
electrical fires. More information can be found in ANSI/ISA-12.01.01-
1999, Definitions and Information Pertaining to Electrical Apparatus in
Hazardous Locations.
Environment is also a priority in a facility. The comments on safety
also apply here. Spills, escape of hazard gases, dumping of waste, and
emissions are all extremely detrimental to the environment. The
Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has published rule governing
dumping hazardous and nuclear waste, pollution, and emissions, and its
effect on the air, water, land, endangered species, and so on.

1.5 Units and Standards

As with all disciplines a set of standards has evolved over the years to
ensure consistency and avoid confusion. The Instrument Society of
America (ISA) has developed a complete list of symbols for instruments,
instrument identification, and process-control drawings, which will be
discussed in Chap. 12.
The units of measurement fall into two distinct systems: first, the
English system and second, the International system, SI (Systéme
International D’Unités) based on the metric system. The English system
has been the standard used in the United States, but the SI system is slowly
making inroads, so that students need to be aware of both systems of units
and able to convert units from one system to the other. Confusion can arise
over some units such as the pound mass and pound weight. The pound
mass is the slug (no longer in common use) which is the equivalent of the
kilogram in the SI system of units, whereas the pound weight is a force
similar to the Newton which is the unit of force in the SI system. The
conversion factor of 1 lb = 0.454 kg which is used to convert mass
(weight) between the two systems, is in effect equating 1 lb force to 0.454
kg mass; this being the mass that will produce a force of 4.448 N or a force
of 1 lb. Care must be taken not to mix units from the two systems. For
consistency some units may have to be converted before they can be used
in an equation.

29
Another random document with
no related content on Scribd:
 [Goes to writing-table, and
writes. After writing a
page, he blots it on
blotter and turns over
and writes on second
sheet.

Dennis. If it works I don’t go back to the city by a long sight. The

governor may go it alone till I have seen the fun.
George (rising and imitating English accent and using his watch
as an eye-glass). I say, Steve, cawnt he make the heavy English
noticeable?
Dennis. Yes; tell him to come out strong on that.
George. And remember he’s in the hands of an oculist, doncher
know. That will be a good excuse for goggles.
Dennis. Tell him we’ll share the expense if he will only come.
Steven. What was his third name?
George. George Augustus Guelph Dunstan—otherwise Dust-pan.
Dennis. When is an earl a small thing?
George (with disgust). He never is, when he’s in this country.
Dennis. You never could guess a conundrum!
George. Give it up, old man.
Dennis. When he’s a little early.
George. Hurry up, Steve. Dennis is in sad need of dinner.
Steven (reading letter). How’s this?

“Dear Frank,—We hear you are to come up here on Tuesday. Now,

if you want a soft thing pay heed to what I write. We expect a howling
English Lord up here the last of the week, and the girls are going to
lay themselves out for his benefit, just to spite us poor republicans.
Put on goggles, a beard and wig; get a big pattern suit and a leather
hat-box, and telegraph Mrs. Wycherly (in the name of Ferrol), that
you will arrive on the 5.15 train Tuesday. You will be met, coddled,
caressed, etc. etc., till we shall all call you tenderfoot. But a word in
your ear! Make yourself rather disagreeable. Dress in the wrong
clothes at meals. Use the words ‘nasty’ and ‘beastly’ frequently, and
of all things meet the girls more than half-way in their attentions.
Your name is George Augustus Guelph Dunstan, Earl of Ferrol and
Staunton. Your papa is the Marquess of D-a-c-h-a-n-t (pronounced
Jaunt). Your dear mama is no more. You have been in Florida, where
you hurt your eyes, and are just from Washington—‘a beastly bore,
you know.’ I would give untold gold if I could do it instead of you.

“Always yours, Steve.”

Dennis. I say, boys, we must have a kodak ready for the unveiling,
and catch the girls’ faces on the fly.

George } (together, shaking hands and

Steven } laughing heartily). Oh! won’t
Dennis } it be rich!
Enter Rose, r. d.
Rose (crossing up stage to r.). Why, you wretched boys, haven’t
you gone up yet?

[Men jump and turn with

consternation.

Steven (concealing letter behind him). Why—ah—is it late?

Enter Helen, r. d., and crosses to tea-table, which she draws back
to l.
Rose. Late! You’ve just ten minutes to dress. Be quick! Mrs.
Wycherly has been stopped in the hall by a telegram, and if she
catches you here you’ll never hear the last of it.

[Men exit hurriedly and

awkwardly l. d.

Helen. Talk of the tardiness of women!

Rose. I know they’ve been talking about us. Did you see how guilty
they looked?
 [Crosses to desk.
Enter Amy, r. d.
Amy. After what Mrs. Wycherly said of tardiness, they ought to
look guilty.
Rose (seating herself at desk and arranging pens, etc.). If they are
not late, it’s Seymour’s fault, not theirs.
Helen. I hope mama won’t wait for them. I have a good mind to tell
Seymour to put a lump of ice in the soup.
Amy. I should rather see those good for nothing, gossiping, over-
spoiled men there.

[Rose begins to study blotter

with great interest.

Helen. They deserve some kind of penance for their behaviour this
afternoon.
Amy. Yes, even in addition to our intended neglect when Lord
Ferrol arrives.
Helen. Oh, we can make it a capital joke, and if Lord Ferrol is only
nice we can have both the joke and a good time.
Amy. Well, I don’t care what Lord Ferrol is; I am going to use him
to punish—them.
Helen. Oh! Amy, why that significant pause? We all know how
them spells his name.
Rose (springing to her feet with a scream). Girls! Girls!!
Amy (startled). What’s the matter?
Rose (melodramatically). My Lords! My Lords! There are traitors
in the camp and treachery stalks rampant.

[Comes to centre with blotter.

Helen. Oh, come off that roof!

Rose. No, really, I’m in dead earnest.
Amy. What is it, Rose?
 Rose (evidently reading with difficulty from blotter). Listen.
“Dear Frank,—We hear you are to come up here on Tuesday. Now, if
you want a soft thing, pay heed to what I write—” Oh, I can’t read it
backwards. Where is a mirror?
Helen (rushing to mantel). Here, Here.

[Holds mirror in front of

blotter.

Rose (reading). “We are expecting a howling English Lord up here

the last of the week, and the girls are going to lay themselves out for
his benefit.”

Helen } (with intense anger). What!!!

Amy }
Rose (reading). “Just to spite us poor republicans. Put on goggles,
a beard and wig; get a big pattern suit and a leather hat-box.
Telegraph Mrs. Wycherly (in the name of Ferrol) that you will arrive
on the 5.15 train Tuesday. You will be met, coddled, CARESSED!!

[Drops blotter in rage.

Amy (shrieking). Oh!

Helen (intensely). What!! (Grabs at blotter eagerly.) Here, you
read too slowly, let me. (Amy holds mirror.) “Coddled, caressed, till
we shall call you tenderfoot. But a word in your ear! Make yourself
rather disagreeable. Dress in the wrong clothes at meals. Use the
words ‘nasty’ and ‘beastly’ frequently, and of all things meet the girls
half-way in their attentions. Your name is George Augustus—” It
ends there.

[Girls look at each other

indignantly.

Amy (dangerously). It was about time!

[Going to the mantel and

replacing mirror.
 Helen. What shall we do?
Amy.
“And he said can this be?
We are ruined by Chinese cheap labour (pause)
We will go for them heathen Chinee.”

Helen (turning). Yes!—but how?

Amy. Girls, put on your thinking-caps, and hunt for some terrible
punishment.
Rose. Something “lingering, with boiling oil or melted lead.”
Enter Mrs. W. r. d., with telegraph blank in hand.
Mrs. W. Why, girls, what were those shrieks about?
Rose (with embarrassment). Oh, nothing, Mrs. Wycherly. That is
—
Amy. I hope we didn’t frighten you, Mrs. Wycherly.
Mrs. W. Oh, no! I was only coming in to speak to Helen. (Helen
comes to centre.) I have just received a despatch from Frank Parker.
He has been called back to San Diego by the illness of his mother, so
we shall not have his visit after all. (Hands telegram to Helen and
sits at desk r. Rose sits at desk l. Helen and Amy cross to r. and
evidently consult over telegram.) I really am very sorry, for I wanted
to renew with the son a very old family friendship, but there is no
chance, for he has gone West already.
Helen (crossing to Mrs. W. and pleading). Oh, mama! Will you
not keep it a secret from the boys? Only George and Steven would
care, and we have a really good reason for not wanting them to know.
Oh, please, mama!

[Puts arms round Mrs. W.’s

neck.

Amy (beseechingly). Oh, Mrs. Wycherly, please do!

Rose (kneeling imploringly). Do, Mrs. Wycherly!
Mrs. W. (suspiciously). What mischief are you concocting now?
(rising and going to l. d., followed by all the girls). Well, I won’t
promise not to, but I will hold my tongue till I see that I had better
speak.
Helen. Oh, you dear mama!
Mrs. W. (laughing). Temper your justice with mercy.
[Exits l. d.
Helen (melodramatically coming down c.). Who talks to me of
justice and mercy!
Rose. Helen, can’t you arrange to have Burgess drive over to that
5.15 train? It would be so lovely to see the men’s faces when the
carriage came back empty.
Amy. Gracious! If we only could get the real Ferrol here, in place of
the fictitious, and yet make the men think it was Mr. Parker.
Rose. But Lord Ferrol won’t be here till Friday, and by that time
the boys will have either found it out, or suspect from the time that it
really is the genuine article.
Amy. I’ll tell you what to do. Let me wire my cousin Jack Williams
to get himself up as an Englishman, and come up here on Tuesday. I
can coach him so that he can pass himself off for Mr. Parker, and the
two are enough alike, judging from the description, if disguised, to
fool the boys.
Helen. But the moment they were alone with him they would find
—
Rose (interrupting). We’ll arrange it so that until we are ready for
developments, they shall have no chance to find out.
Rose. But how about Mrs. Wycherly? She knows Mr. Williams,
doesn’t she?
Amy. We’ll let her into the secret—she’ll enjoy it as much as any of
us.
Helen. And she’s always wanted to have your cousin here.
Rose. Quick, Amy. Write the telegram.

[All rush to desk. Amy sits in

chair l.

Helen. Mercy! but you’ll ruin yourself with such a one.

Rose. We’ll have to share the expense.
 Amy (getting paper and pencil). No, I shall only send a short
despatch, and write full particulars by letter. Let me see—(Aloud.)
“Come up here disguised as an Englishman—goggles, beard, wig,
loud clothes—”
Rose. And hat-box.
Amy. “And hat-box, by the train that gets here?—”
[Looks at Helen inquiringly.
Helen. Five fifteen.
Amy. “That gets here at 5.15 Tuesday. Wire Mrs. Wycherly in name
of Ferrol that you will be here at that time. Further particulars by
post, but don’t fail.—Amy.”
[Rises and folds telegram.
Rose. If he will only come! Think of those boys watching our
attention to him, and laughing in their sleeves.
Rose. And we all the time laughing at them.
Helen. And think of their faces when the discovery is made!
Rose. Oh, Helen! You must have your camera ready, and take them
at that moment.
[All laugh.

Curtain
 ACT II

Scene.—Same room, and same arrangement, except that tea-

table is up back to r., and the easy-chair l. is down centre. Mrs.
W. sits chair c. sewing. Rose sits on arm of easy-chair r. Amy
walking up and down at back. Helen sits chair r. of fireplace.
Amy (restlessly). I am so excited I can’t keep still. If Jack hadn’t
telegraphed when he did, I could never have survived the nervous
strain—but weren’t the men’s faces lovely when you read the
despatch at luncheon! Sly dogs!
Helen. I hope it will take the boys so long to clear the snow off
Silverspoon that we can have your cousin alone for a few minutes.
Rose. No such luck as that! Our evening’s skating will hardly weigh
with them, compared to the danger of our greeting the supposed Mr.
Parker without their moral support to carry him through.
Helen. I almost wish it were Mr. Parker instead of Mr. Williams
who is coming. How we could torture them all by awkward
questions!
Rose. I don’t think I ever appreciated before how deliciously the
Indian must feel when he takes his enemy’s scalp.
Mrs. W. Why, you blood-thirsty little wretch!
Helen. Mama, we must make our arrangements so that they will
have no chance to interview him this evening. Then, to-morrow, we
will either fully coach him, or let them find out the trick—according
to our wishes.
Mrs. W. Let me see,—I will meet him at the front door; the
moment the carriage drives up—
Helen. Yes, and you must bring him in here to tea. We won’t let
him go till the bell rings for dressing. Then we will all see him
upstairs.
Mrs. W. But you can’t watch him after he is once in his room, and
any of the men can go to him.
Rose. “Not if the court understand himself, and he thinks he do.”
We will spell each other, so that one of us shall sit in the upper hall
till Mr. Williams comes downstairs. The boys would never dare to
run such a battery without a better excuse than they can invent for
going to the room of an entire stranger.
Mrs. W. That makes it safe till we leave them to their cigars.
Helen (coming down, and sitting on the arm of Mrs. W.’s chair).
Mama, you will have to tell the boys that for a particular reason,
cause unspecified, you want to let the servants clear the dining-room
early, so as to set them free. Tell them to smoke in the library; we will
sit with them and put up with the smoke for once.
Rose. That will do, and you must break up the party at our usual
bed-time with the excuse that Lord Ferrol, after his journey, will
want to retire early. Take no denial, and we will escort him upstairs.
Then we girls will sit on the divan in the hall and gossip till we feel
sure that all is safe.
Amy. And we’ll write a note making an early appointment with
him in the valley summer-house; and then—(Sounds of laughter
outside.) Hush!
Enter George, Steven, and Dennis, r. d., and cross over to
fireplace, where they stand and warm their hands.
Mrs. W. Ah, what a breath of winter freshness you bring in with
you!
Steven. It is a simply glorious afternoon. How you girls could stay
indoors and roast over a fire is a puzzle to me!
Dennis. You forget, Steve, that telegram which came at luncheon.
They were afraid they might lose a few moments of his society!
George. If his ludship isn’t afraid of a little frost, we will show him
how to spend an evening on the ice.
Dennis. I’ll bet a box of chocolates that he doesn’t know how to
skate. (Aside to men.) They don’t have ice in Southern California.
Amy. Ten pounds and taken. (Aside to girls.) Jack is a superb
skater!
Steven. Two to one that Dennis wins.
Rose. I suppose you think you are betting on a certainty, so I shall
take you up, just to make you feel ashamed when I lose.
Steven. Mrs. Wycherly, can’t we have our tea without waiting for
his giblets? I am simply famished!
 Helen (crossing to l.). I wonder if men ever really think of anything
besides eating.
George. If you think that clearing the drifts off that lake is a light
and ornamental position under the government, try it.
Mrs. W. (rising and reseating herself at desk chair r.). Well,
Helen, you may make it now, only save a cup for Lord Ferrol.

[George pulls easy-chair c.

back to r., while Dennis
and Steven bring tea-
table to former position
by chair. Rose exits l. d.

Helen (coming to tea-table and holding cup up). Lord Ferrol’s

cup.
Steven. Oh, no!
Dennis. Never!

[They try to obtain possession

of it.

Helen (going round table and sitting, still holding cup). Not for
you.
Enter Rose with hot water pot. Men return to fireplace. Amy sits
easy-chair l. of tea-table.
Rose (rubbing teapot against Dennis’s hand as she passes). Hot
water.
Dennis (jumping and looking at his hand). Not the least doubt of
it.
Helen. Make the most of it, boys: it’s the last time our tea will be
sweet to you!
Dennis. Why is Helen like a “P. & O.” steamer?
Helen (indignantly). I’m not!
Steven. Because she’s steaming the tea?
Dennis. No.
Amy. Don’t keep us in suspense.
 Steven. Because she’s full of tease.
George. You make me tired.
Steven. Is that why you sat down so often on the ice?
Helen. Isn’t that just like George,—sitting round, while the rest do
the work.
George. If you think there’s any particular pleasure in sitting in a
snowdrift, there’s one outside, right against the verandah.
Steven. That would never do at present. It might result in a cold,
and so destroy our little plan of winning the maiden affections of—
well, I won’t give him a name till I have seen him!
Helen. It is hard to put up with foreign titles, but as long as our
government will not protect that industry, the home product is so
rude, boorish, VULGAR, and YOUNG, that we cannot help—
Rose (interrupting). Listen! (Pause.) There’s the carriage.

[All rise and start toward r.

door.

Mrs. W. (rising and intercepting them at door). Now, don’t all

come running out to frighten the poor man. (Men return to
fireplace; girls reseat themselves.) Let his first greeting be with me,
and then I will bring him in and let him see you and get a cup of tea.
[Exit r.
Dennis (stalking down stage).
Fe, Fo, Fi, Fum,
I smell the blood of an Englishman;
Be he alive, or be he dead,
I’ll grind his bones to make me bread.

Rose (pointing at Dennis).

Ping Wing, the pieman’s son,
Was the very worst boy in all Canton,
He stole his mother’s—

Mrs. W. (outside). No, I’m sure—

 Enter Mrs. W. and Lord F. (in goggles and wig) r. d. and come
down c.
Mrs. W. You are chilled by your ride, so you must have a cup of tea
before going to your room. Helen, this is Lord Ferrol. My daughter,
Miss Wycherly, Miss Newcome, Miss Sherman, Lord Ferrol—.
Lord F. (bowing). Charmed, I assure you!
Mrs. W. My nephews, Mr. George and Steven Harold, and Mr.
Grant. There! the formidable host is reviewed, and you can now
make yourself as comfortable as possible.
Lord F. Er, thanks, but if you will allow me, I will go to my room
first,—I am so filthy.
Mrs. W. Oh, but you really must have tea first.
Lord F. You’re awfully good, I’m sure. Er, will you pardon my
glasses, but I burned my eyes shooting alligators, and, er! that was
why I couldn’t make a more positive date, for I was in the hands of an
oculist.
Amy (aside). Oh! Jack, what a lie!
Steven (aside). Didn’t I tell you the old fellow would come out
strong? I shouldn’t know him myself?
Amy (rising from easy-chair l.). Here, Lord Ferrol, I have been
sitting in the easiest chair to prevent the others from taking it, so that
you should have it when you came.
Lord F. Er, thanks, awfully!

[Sits. Amy stands in devoted

attitude just at back of
his chair.

Rose (rising and bringing hassock). Let me give you this hassock
—one is so uncomfortable in these deep chairs without one.
Lord F. Er, Thanks! You’re very kind.
Helen (tenderly). Lord Ferrol, will you tell me how you like your
tea?
Lord F. Strong, please, with plenty of cream and sugar.
Amy (admiringly). Ah, how nice it is to find a man who takes his
tea as it should be taken! (looking at men scornfully). It is really a
mental labor to pour tea for the average man.
Dennis. Average is a condition common to many; therefore we are
common. Yet somebody said the common people were never wrong.
Helen. Well, they may never be wrong, but they can be
uncommonly disagreeable!
Lord F. Yes, that’s very true. You know, at home we don’t have
much to do with that class, but out here you can’t keep away from
them.
Amy (turning to men). There! I hope you are properly crushed?
Lord F. (turning to Amy). Eh!
Amy (leaning over Lord F. tenderly). Oh, I wasn’t speaking to you,
dear Lord Ferrol!
Mrs. W. I fear that you have had some unpleasant experiences
here, from the way you speak.
Lord F. Rather. (Helen hands cup with winning smile.) Thanks,
awfully!
George. Perhaps Lord Ferrol will tell us some of them; we may be
able to free him from a wrong impression.
Lord F. The awful bore over here is, that every one tries to make
jokes. Now, a joke is very jolly after dinner, or when one goes to
“Punch” for it.
Steven. To what?
Lord F. To “Punch,” don’t you know,—the paper.
Steven. Oh! Excuse my denseness; I thought we were discussing
jokes.
Lord F. I beg pardon?
Amy. Don’t mind him, Lord Ferrol.
George. No, like “Punch,” he’s only trying to be humorous.
Lord F. Er, is that an American joke?
Dennis. I always thought Punch was a British joke!
Lord F. Er, then you Americans do think it funny?
George. Singularly!
Lord F. What I object to in this country is the way one’s inferiors
joke. It’s such bad form.
 Rose (horrified). Surely they haven’t tried to joke you?
Lord F. Yes. Now to-day, coming up here, I took my luggage to the
station, and got my brasses, but forgot your direction that it must be
re-labelled at the Junction, so they wer’n’t put off there. I spoke to
the guard, and he was so vastly obliging in promising to have them
sent back that I gave him a deem.
Omnes. A what?
Lord F. A deem—your small coin that’s almost as much as our
sixpence, don’t you know.
Omnes. Oh, yes!
Lord F. Well, the fellow looked at it, and then he smiled, and said
loud enough for the whole car to hear: “My dear John Bull, don’t you
sling your wealth about in this prodigal way. You take it home, and
put it out at compound interest, and some day you’ll buy out Gould
or Rockefeller.”
Helen. How shockingly rude! What did you do?
Lord F. I told him if he didn’t behave himself, I’d give him in
charge. (Men all laugh.) Now, is that another of your American
jokes?
Dennis (aside). Oh! isn’t this rich?
Amy (aside to Lord F.). Oh, you are beautiful!
Lord F. (bewildered and starting). Thanks awfully,—if you really
mean it!
Steven (coming down to back of Lord F.’s chair). What did she
say, Lord Ferrol? You must take Miss Sherman with a grain of
allowance.
Amy. I’m not a pill, thank you.
Lord F. Why, who said you were?
Dennis. Only a homœopathic sugarplum.
Lord F. I don’t understand.
Steven (aside to Lord F.). Keep it up, old man. It’s superb!
Lord F. I beg pardon,—did you speak to me?
Steven (retreating to fireplace). Oh, no! only addressing vacancy.
 Mrs. W. I hope, Lord Ferrol, that there has been enough pleasant
in your trip to make you forget what has been disagreeable.
Lord F. Er, quite so. The trip has been vastly enjoyable.
Rose. Where have you been?
Lord F. I landed in New York and spent the night there, but it was
such a bore that I went on to Niagara the next day. From there I
travelled through the Rockies, getting some jolly sport, and then
went to Florida.
Mrs. W. Why, you have seen a large part of our country; even more
than your father did. I remember his amazement at our autumn
foliage. He said it was the most surprising thing in the trip.
Amy. What did you think of it, Lord Ferrol?
Lord F. It struck me as rather gaudy.
Rose. Why, I had never thought of it, but perhaps it is a little vivid.
Dennis (aside to men). Oh, how I should like to kick him!
Steven (aside to Dennis). Hush! You forget that “Codlin’s your
friend—not Short.”
George. Didn’t you ever see a Venetian sunset?
Lord F. Oh, yes. Why do you ask?
George (sarcastically). I merely thought it might be open to the
same objection!
Lord F. It might—I don’t remember. I’ll look it up in my journal
when I get home, and see if it impressed me at the time.
Helen. Do you keep a journal? (Rises and sits on footstool at Lord
F.’s feet.) How delightful! (Beseechingly.) Oh, won’t you let me look
at what you have with you?
Rose. Please, Lord Ferrol!
Amy. Ah, do!
Lord F. It would bore you, I’m sure.
Dennis (aside). I don’t care if he isn’t a double-barrelled earl, I
should like to kick him all the same!
Helen. Lord Ferrol, you must let us hear some of it.
Rose. If you don’t we shall think you have said something
uncomplimentary of the American women.
 Lord F. No, I assure you I have been quite delighted.
Amy. Then why won’t you let us see it?
Lord F. Er, I couldn’t, you know; but if you really are in earnest, I’ll
read you some extracts.
Omnes. Oh, do!
Lord F. I ought to explain that I started with the intention of
writing a book on America, so this (producing book) is not merely
what I did and saw, but desultory notes on the States.
Rose. How interesting!
Lord F. After your suggestion of what I have written of the
American women, I think it best to give you some of my notes on
them.
Mrs. W. By all means!
Lord F. (reading). “Reached Washington, the American capital,
and went direct to Mrs. ——. Cabman charged me sixteen shillings.
When I made a row, butler sent for my host, who, instead of calling a
constable, made me pay the fellow, by insisting on paying it himself.
Mr. —— is a Senator, and is seen very little about the house, from
which I infer the American men are not domestic—presumably,
because of their wild life—”
Mrs. W. (with anxiety). Their what?
Lord F. Their wild life,—spending so much of their time on the
plains, don’t you know.
Mrs. W. (relieved). Oh! Excuse my misapprehension.
Lord F. (reading). “The daughter is very pretty, which Mrs. ——
tells me is unusual in Washington society—as if I could be taken in
by such an obvious Dowager puff! (Men all point at Mrs. W. and
laugh. Mrs. W. shakes her finger reprovingly.) Miss —— says the
Boston girls are plain and thin, due to their living almost wholly on
fads, which are very unhealthy.” (Speaking.) I couldn’t find that
word in the dictionary.
Steven. Sort of intellectual chewinggum, Lord Ferrol.
Dennis. Yes, and like gum, you never get beyond a certain point
with it. It’s very fatiguing to the jaw.
 Lord F. (reading). “She says the New York girls are the best
dressed in the country, being hired by the dressmakers to wear
gowns, to make the girls of other cities envious, and that this is
where they get all the money they spend. Very remarkable!”
Helen. Something like sandwich men, evidently.
Lord F. (reading). “The Philadelphia girls, she says, are very fast,
but never for long at a time, because the men get sleepy and must
have afternoon naps.”
Amy. Did she tell you that insomnia is thought to make one very
distinguished there?
Lord F. (making note in book). Er, thanks, awfully. (Reading.)
“She says that the Baltimore girls are great beauties, and marry so
quickly that there is generally a scarcity. It is proposed to start a joint
stock company to colonise that city with the surplus from Boston,
and she thinks there ought to be lots of money in it! Another extreme
case of American dollar worship! The Western girls, she told me, are
all blizzards.” (Speaking.) I don’t think I could have mistaken the
word, for I made her spell it. Yet the American dictionary defines
blizzard as a great wind or snow storm.
George. That is it, Lord Ferrol. They talk so much that it gives the
effect of a wind storm.
Lord F. Ah! much obliged. (Reading.) “Went to eight receptions in
one afternoon, where I was introduced to a lot of people, and talked
to nobody. Dined out somewhere, but can’t remember the name.
Took in a Miss ——, a most charming and lovely—”
Dennis (interrupting). Ah, there!
Lord F. I beg pardon.
Rose. You must forgive his rude interruption, Lord Ferrol.
Lord F. Oh, certainly! You’re sure you’re not bored?
Omnes. By no means. Do go on.
Lord F. “A most charming and lovely girl from New York. She
thinks Miss —— characterised the cities rightly, except her own.
Asked me if I thought she was only a dressmaking advertisement? As
scarcely any of her dress was to be seen, I replied that as I couldn’t
look below the table, I was sure it was the last thing one would
accuse her of being. She blushed so violently that I had to tell her
that I had seen much worse dresses in London; but that didn’t please
her any better, and she talked to the man next her for the rest of the
evening. (All have difficulty in suppressing their laughter.) I met a
Boston girl afterwards who—”

[Bell rings.

Mrs. W. Lord Ferrol, there is our summons to the upper regions.

We will not make a formal guest of you, but will all guide you to your
room.
[All rise.
Lord F. Er, thanks.
Mrs. W. (taking Lord F.’s arm). Your trunks not having arrived
(exit r. d. with Lord F.) we will none of us—

[Exit Amy and Helen r. d.,

evidently laughing.
Rose exits l. d. Men all
go off into paroxysms
of laughter.

Steven (suddenly). Well, I must go and coach him.

Dennis. My dear fellow! you can’t paint the lily.
Enter Rose, quietly, l. d. Men all check their laughter.
Rose. I came back for my skates. Why, what are you laughing
about! And pray what lily are you going to paint?
George. My dear cousin, when a person enters a room already
occupied, without due warning, she must not ask questions relative
to the subject under discussion.
Rose (talking down stage to conceal her laughter). I know very
well what you were talking about. You were making fun of Lord
Ferrol.
Steven. Give you my solemn word we were not making fun of Lord
Ferrol.
Men. No! How suspicious you girls are!
 [All laugh. Helen tries to
suppress her laughter,
and then rushes out r.
d., followed by Steven.

Dennis. That journal was a mighty clever dodge of Parker’s. It

staved off all dangerous questions till Steve could coach him.
George. There were some capital notions in it, too. If he will only
give us a few more risqué anecdotes, none of the girls will dare talk to
him.
Dennis. Did you see Mrs. Wycherly’s horrified expression when he
alluded to the wild life of the American men? I am sure she thought
he was going to give us some “exposures in high life.”
Enter Steven hurriedly, r. d.
Steven. Look here, fellows, you’ve got to help me. The girls have
planted themselves on the divan upstairs, and I can’t go to Ferrol’s
room without their seeing me. Come up and occupy them, while I
slip in.
Dennis. Decoy ducks, eh?
Stuart. That’s it. Come along, George.

[All exit r. d.,—slight pause.

Enter Lord F. l. d., dressed as before.

Lord F. (looking about). I must have made a mistake in the door,
for I got into the butler’s pantry; but this is right, I am sure. Queer
place and queer manners! Will make interesting reading, though. Ah,
a good chance to fill up my journal. (Seats himself at desk, takes out
book, and writes, speaking aloud and soliloquising as he does so.)
“At 5.15 reached some unpronounceable and unspellable place. Was
met by Mrs. Wycherly at front door”—curious fashion that! It made
me take her for the housekeeper at first. “She insisted, in spite of my
protests,”—I suppose it was an American idea of hospitality,—“in
taking me at once into the drawing-room and presenting me to the
house-party, and giving me a cup of tea. I felt very disagreeable, both
from the condition I was in, and the fact that all of them kept making
remarks which were entirely unintelligible to me. The young ladies
were very kind, but more forward even than they are in England,
though in a different way.”—I confess I rather liked it.—“Read some
of my journal aloud and had no corrections. Blizzard applied to
Western girls means that they talk a great deal. Was shown to my
room by Mrs. Wycherly and the young ladies, which was rather
embarrassing, especially as they seemed inclined to linger, and only
hurried out on the appearance of the gentlemen. On leaving, one of
the girls slipped her hand into mine and gave it a distinct squeeze, at
the same time asking in a whisper, ‘Did your sister send her love?’”—
Now the idea of Sappho sending her love to a girl of whom she had
never heard!—“I pretended not to hear, but she evidently knew that
she had been too free, for as she left she jerked her head towards the
gentlemen and said, ‘They didn’t see.’ Could not change my travelling
suit, my boxes having gone astray. Found a letter pinned to my pin-
cushion, and when the valet brought the hot water, he gave me
another. Both, judging from the hand-writing and paper, seem to be
written by ladies and gentlemen.”—I should like to know what they
mean? I wonder if it’s good form in America to play jokes on guests?
(Produces notes and reads.) “Dear F.”—(Rises and comes to c.) Now
the idea of the fellow writing to me in that way on the acquaintance
of a single afternoon—why, even my best friends only say “Dear
Ferrol.”—“You were simply marvellous. I would have staked my
bottom dollar on your identity, if I had not known who you were.”—
Now what does he mean by that, I wonder?—“You were so real that
Dennis wanted to kick you, and nothing but the presence of the
ladies prevented him.”—Gad! I wonder if these fellows can be
gentlemen, and if so, whether they are a fair specimen—kick me!
(Pause.) Well, I suppose they’re jealous.—“So don’t be too hard on
us. Now as to the future. If we do not see each other this evening, you
must get up before breakfast, go out of the side door, and strike
across the lawn toward the river. Three minutes’ walk will bring you
in sight of a little summer-house. Come to it, and some of us will be
there prepared to instruct you as to yourself, and put you on your
guard as to the girls, who, you see, are making a dead set at you.”—
You know, that’s just what I thought.—“Remember, in the bright
lexicon, etc., etc., Steve.”—Now what does he mean by “bright
lexicon?” And does he think I’m going to tramp through the snow,
when it’s so evidently a joke? (Opens other note.) “You dear love of a
snob”—Now I should vastly like to know how that is meant. I don’t