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i
Mindlessness
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Mindlessness
The Corruption of Mindfulness in
a Culture of Narcissism
1
iv
1
Oxford University Press is a department of the University of Oxford. It furthers
the University’s objective of excellence in research, scholarship, and education
by publishing worldwide. Oxford is a registered trade mark of Oxford University
Press in the UK and certain other countries.
9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Contents
Notes 187
References 195
Index 207
vi
1
Introduction
Favor the Penguin
and Fear the “Selfie”
2 | Mindlessness
Introduction | 3
and cultured people, who, when they asked me what book I was writ-
ing and I told them, could not have been nicer in their encourage-
ment nor clearer that they had never heard of mindfulness (they are
not mental health professionals). Indeed, in a survey of more than
2,000 British adults, the organization YouGov reported that only
11% believed they had a good understanding of what mindfulness
is, and it is an open question as to just how good of an understanding
these 11% really have.2
A preoccupation of this book is the effects of mindfulness and kin
concepts on the general culture and vice versa. It would be an exag-
geration to view mindfulness as the main driver or even a main driver
of unfortunate cultural trends (trends to be identified throughout the
book). A more realistic view perhaps, and nevertheless a worrisome
one, is that “faux” mindfulness is one of many voices in a chorus, a
chorus which, if not encouraging trends like egoism is compatible
with them, and which in turn could have significant negative effects
on a species that is already inherently pretty self-concerned, but that
needs a vibrant polity and society to survive and prosper.
The book thus needs to manage two realities: Overall, even de-
plorably distorted versions of mindfulness are a drop in the cultural
bucket; and, depending on the drop (cf. a lit match) and on what else
is in the bucket (cf. kerosene), one drop can make a difference and
even be disastrous. True mindfulness is being usurped by an impos-
tor, and the impostor is loud and strutting enough that it has replaced
the original in the general understanding of what “mindfulness” is,
at least for many people. And not just in the general understanding,
but even in the understanding of specialists, even those with awe-
inspiring perspicacity, like my psychiatrist friends. This represents
one drop in the cultural bucket, and this book asks whether it is a bad
enough drop to make a difference or even be ruinous.
Just as an earthquake can transform an architectural wonder into a
pile of rubble, and just as the viability of a spacecraft can change from
complete to disastrous with the smallest of breaches, so mindfulness
has been transformed into its creepy, self-obsessed doppelgänger.
However, when a building is obliterated or spacecraft destroyed, they
are gone, and the rubble is no longer called “a building,” the debris no
longer called “a spacecraft.” By contrast, mindfulness—the original,
unsullied version—is not gone; it still exists with its imperfections,
nobility, humility, and utility intact, for now. What also exists side
4
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Introduction | 5
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Introduction | 7
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A professor sits in a trendy coffee shop, and on the table before him
is a coffee, ordered so exactingly that you (perhaps) and I (certainly),
had we been observing, would have felt a mixture of confusion, ir-
ritation, and intimidation, as well as harbored a gnawing suspicion
that a full 45 seconds was just spent ordering what actually amounts
to coffee with some milk in it. Suspicion is allayed, however, by the
professor’s air of tranquil certainty tinged with self-satisfaction,
aided, no doubt, by the session of yoga that preceded his visit to the
coffee shop. On the table next to the coffee is his laptop—MacBook,
needless to say. Later that evening, out to dinner with friends, the
care that goes into the selection of a bottle of wine makes the coffee
shop’s deliberations seem shallow.
There is a kind of discernment—one might even say mindfulness—
in the decisions and actions of this individual. Not just coffee with
milk, but something much more thoughtful and sophisticated; not
just exercise, but something unique and even spiritual; not just any
computer, but one with special features and supposedly exuding
certain values; and not just any bottle of wine, but one that satis-
fies specific esoteric criteria, many of which the average person has
never even heard. In all of this, the professor is not merely particu-
lar. Rather, he is particular in ways that are both self-promoting and
self-involved.
That this individual displays discernment, at least of a kind, is
plain. But is there anything substantive, and even if so, is there any-
thing admirable, in this attitude? My answer to both questions and
an animating principle for this book is “no.”
If you imagine, incidentally, that you know just the professor of
whom I am thinking, I have two responses: (1) This is impossible, as
this is an amalgam over many years of at least a dozen academics
across fields (granted they are usually certain fields). And (2) that
I have described a hypothetical that seems quite real to many sug-
gests that it may be a valid type (examples of which are numer-
ous); in other words, we may have a cultural problem on our hands.
Reference to this type appeared in a CNN article written by Richard
Galant and posted on their website on March 15, 2014. The article
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Introduction | 9
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back to the sea, the ravenous penguin mothers reflect very mini-
mally on the type or quality of their prey. Same with the fathers
once their 4-month fast is broken. Nuance does not enter into it; nei-
ther do “subjugated knowledges;” neither does discernment; and nei-
ther does mindfulness.
A point of this book is that there is much to recommend the at-
titude of the penguins over that of the professor. Unlike the latter,
the penguins are not self-regarding. The penguins do not appear to
view themselves as particularly unique—one is a penguin just as an-
other is—whereas the professor knows he is special, deep in his soul
(the lack of evidence for which does not trouble him, because in the
professor’s mind, things like evidence and truth either are relative or
do not exist). Both the professor and the penguins are self-focused,
but motivated, in the former case, by posturing, and in the latter,
by posterity. The penguins are living examples, full embodiments
of virtues like sacrifice and persistence; the professor, ironically and
in violation of a sacred trust, often has little of either. In the clash of
ideas inherent in the demeanor of the penguins and the professor,
I favor the penguins.
Introduction | 11
the new norm, the new cool, to all our detriment. No, by “breath-
takingly self-absorbed,” I mean problematically narcissistic, the kind
of malignant and blinding self-regard that makes even adherents of
the new “self-focus is cool” ethos remark, “That guy needs to tone
it down.”
How can it be, I wondered, that someone who touts the benefits
of a mindset, which properly understood, demotes the importance of
self, reveal himself in the same breath to be Narcissus arisen from
the depths? (In this last sentence, how many readers will mistake
“demotes the importance of self” for its semantic opposite “denotes
the importance of self,” as I myself did in rereading the sentence?
For you dear reader, like me, are steeped in a culture of narcissism,
which drips away only slowly, with the danger, to be guarded against
with vigor, of a stalagmitic residue of self-regard being left behind.)
Mildly interesting questions, I supposed, and ones over which I did
not linger unduly. Until, regarding the “mindful” Narcissus, it hap-
pened again and again and again, not only with regard to the one
Narcissus in question, but also with regard to his confreres. This pro-
duced in me the distressing dual realization that Narcissus shook off
the waters and roosted in 21st-century souls with some regularity,
and that in so doing, he often targeted souls who extolled the virtues
of mindfulness.
At about this same time, an eminent and widely admired aca-
demic psychologist died, having suffered from a condition that he
and others knew would soon kill him. When it did, the expected
nature of his death did not seem to quell the genuine outpouring
of grief, much of it apparent on social media. The sentiments were
touching, so much so that I was able to temporarily put aside my
doubts about the propriety of death announcements on Facebook and
just read them for what they were: sincere expressions of admiration
for a man now lost to us. These expressions were not just moving;
they were also numerous enough that, for a time, there was little else
in my Facebook feed.
But there was something else in the feed: Scattered in among
the testaments and tributes to a great man now fallen were the self-
absorptions of the Narcissi. There were reflections (if they can be
called that) on the virtues of things like first-class air travel, the
theme of which was not “here are some dispassionately described
features of first-class versus coach travel” (as questionable a theme
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as that is), but rather “hey, look at me, I’m in first class!” This is a
sentiment that cries out for advice about finding yourself in the end
zone after having scored a touchdown (usually attributed to Vince
Lombardi): “Act like you’ve been there before.” But the voice of
Lombardi was absent, as I wish were the actual replies—vapidities,
rather—encouraging the Narcissus to continue to be a “rock star.”
There were actual reflections (and they can definitely be called that),
in the form of “selfie” photographs. (I am, I understand, hopelessly
out of cultural tune in more ways than one when I acknowledge that
for a grown man to take an unironic picture just of himself—any
part of himself it unfortunately must be said—is very difficult for
me to understand. To then compound the act by arranging for that
same picture to be broadcast in a public way is, to my perhaps pe-
culiar mind, unfathomable. But that’s just me, who squirms at the
thought of a picture of a freckle being retained in my dermatologist’s
records.) To make matters worse and the difference even more stark,
the Narcissi were posting only about their self-absorptions and were
silent on the question of tributes; everyone else, only or mostly post-
ing about tributes, silent on the topic of self-exaltation. In my reck-
oning, the Narcissi are exemplars not of authentic mindfulness, but
of its deterioration.
The contrast of the reverent tributes to an accomplished and now
deceased scholar with the self-promotional detritus of the Narcissi
struck me as so discordant as to approach the grotesque. This same
contrast struck me many months later in the days after the spring
2015 Nepal earthquake. Sincere expressions of shock and grief, along
with links to aid organizations, dominated the feed, sullied by the
same exact Narcissi posting on the same exact themes (e.g., first class
travel, luxury hotel experiences). The quote occurred to me, “O, that
you could turn your eyes toward the napes of your necks and make
but an interior survey of your good selves! O, that you could!”4 And
the question recurred to me, How can an outlook that places the self in
its rightful, infinitesimally small place coexist with self-importance
so vaunting, like that of the “mindful” Narcissi, that it approaches
the obscene? How can the Narcissi so frequently post about authentic
mindfulness and within a few more clicks miss its entire point?
Relatively few people have fixed their gaze on the original, sensi-
ble (and yet still, in my view, inherently problematic) definition of
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Introduction | 13
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Introduction | 15
16 | Mindlessness
moment surrounding one’s own mind, in its minute detail and its
vastness too. And, in addition to attunement to this external moiling
of sensation, one is also and simultaneously dispassionately attentive
to the contents of one’s own mind.
I appreciate the following definition of mindfulness, provided by a
former Buddhist nun now affiliated with the University of California,
Los Angeles (UCLA)’s Mindful Awareness Research Center: “Paying
attention to present moment experiences with open, curious atten-
tion and a willingness to be with what is.”5 There are various versions
of original mindfulness, but in my judgment the most defensible and
useful version is selfless.
Notice the miles traveled between original mindfulness’ per-
spective on an individual’s particular thoughts—“they are nothing
special, everyone has them, they are very often wrong, and if not
wrong, very often obvious”—to mindless mindfulness’ cult of indi-
viduality. Accepting one’s thoughts as merely thoughts (and specks
of dust at that) is very different from treasuring one’s thoughts; one
may as well treasure one’s sweat or saliva. The cult of individuality
has encouraged an emphasis on positive self-regard, and it is worth
noting how judgmental positive self-regard is. The original move-
ment’s origin is that one need not be persuaded by negative, rumina-
tive thoughts, which are mere mental events akin, in terms of their
importance and meaning for reality, to mundane thoughts like “I
like sardines.” That is a useful stance. But for it to be consistent, the
same view must hold for positive thoughts too. They are mere mental
events, among trillions.
The goal, then, and it is a lofty one, is dispassionate awareness
of everything in the present moment, not merely nonjudgmental
awareness of the self. The problem with this goal (one of its O-ring–
like flaws) is not its loftiness. Ambition is often to the good, and in
any event, serious adherents of genuine mindfulness fully under-
stand the difficulty of attaining truly complete mindfulness, which
is one reason that they counsel frequent practice over many months
and even years. Having tried it myself in a full-day retreat, I am
convinced that it is a learnable skill that takes considerable practice.
The flaw, rather, is insufficient regard for the gravitational pull of the
self, and this insufficiency is detectable in both conceptual and prac-
tical domains. From a conceptual standpoint, just as all astronomical
objects are not equal in their gravitational effects, neither are all the
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Introduction | 17
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Introduction | 19
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Introduction | 21
just were, just existed, much as do bacteria and galaxies. They were
stimulating because of the novelty, variety, and nuance that existed
in moment after moment of basic ambient experience. Moreover,
the outward-focused activities facilitated later inward-looking ones,
whereas the reverse was not as true. That is, having focused on
minute ambient sounds and light, moment after moment, trying to
take them simply as they were, with no further elaboration of judg-
ment or interpretation, we were well positioned to take precisely the
same attitude toward the products of our own minds.
A counterpoint perhaps is that I was a mere mindfulness novice,
and had I been more versed, I would not have needed to have my
hand held, as it were, on the journey from outward to inward. That
I was a novice is beyond dispute. Indeed, in what I viewed as one of
his few mistakes during the day, the group leader asked which of us
had never meditated. The mistake here is the possibility that only
one person (of 50 or so) would raise his or her hand and would thus
feel insecure throughout the rest of the day. In fact, only one person
did raise his hand, and that person was me, though I did not feel inse-
cure throughout the day, a credit to the leader and to the group (and
as we will see, some people do have distinctly negative and some-
times lasting experiences in response to such retreats).
I was the least experienced of the group, but I confess to moments
in which I suspected I might be the most mindful … not perhaps
in the sense that my fellow retreat participants might mean, but in
another sense that I suggest is at least as important. I am referring
specifically to the ability to hold in mind multiple ideas and opinions
simultaneously, even ones rather alien to one’s own, and to pay at
least as much attention to the ones that feel foreign or disagreeable
as to the ones that do not. This ability, essential in the university-
based life of the mind and elsewhere, encourages listening more than
it does talking, and more precisely, it encourages close attention to
what someone is saying while simultaneously not paying much mind
to one’s own thoughts. In conversation, this skill facilitates an actual
exchange of ideas and perspectives, as opposed to—and alas I fear this
is very much the norm—each party remaining immersed in his or
her own thoughts, putting voice to them whenever others stop talk-
ing (and often before that). In this regard, my conversations at the
mindfulness retreat were unfortunately no better than those I have
had otherwise (and no worse I should add), which I found mildly
2
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Language: English
BY FANNY BUTCHER
WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY
THERESA GARRETT ELIOT