PACE Approach

PACE

• PACE developed by Daniel Hughes, Clinical Psychologist

• PACE is a way of thinking, feeling, communicating and

behaving that aims to make the child feel safe.

• PACE is an open, warm and inviting stance of

unconditional love and joy that is crucial for facilitating
a secure attachment in the parent-child relationship.
 PACE increases a child's:

• Sense of safety with his key adults

• Ability to connect with difficult discussions
without activating shame
• Ability to explore their inner world
• Experience and express emotions they have
been unable to
• Make sense of their behaviours
 Reduce Feelings of Shame
Shame
• “I am bad” or “I am unlovable”
• stressful and painful
• Triggers lies, excuses or blame
• avoid this feeling “I don’t care! It
doesn’t bother me!” or deny
behaviours that activate this
feeling “I didn’t do it!”
• Self- centred emotion
• Reduced empathy for others
Guilt
• “I did something wrong. I
hurt someone”
• Triggers need to repair
• Associated with empathy.
• An open centred emotion –
locus is behaviour.

To facilitate empathy and encourage development of

conscience, try to reduce child’s shame, leaving room
for guilt. Shame precedes guilt in the development
stages.
 The PACE Approach

• Playfulness – focus on the positives, provide opportunities

for laughter and enjoyment.

• Acceptance – accept the child, not necessarily their

behaviour.

• Curiosity – be interested and offer ways to help the child

to reflect and make sense of their experiences.

• Empathy – show that you are trying to understand and

that you care about what they are feeling.
 Playfulness

• Brings fun and laughter into relationship

• Reduces the intensity of a moment
• Provides reciprocal enjoyment
• learn to experience and regulate positive
affective states
• Conveys confidence and hope and optimism
• Protects children from feeling shame.
 Acceptance
• Creates psychological safety
• Thoughts, feelings, beliefs, wishes, desires
• Accepting internal experiences of others we
communicate our understanding
• Your experience is your experience
• Acceptance is different from agreement.
 Acceptance is:

• Affirmation
– (affirming the pupils sense of self, the intrinsic value of
their life and their capacity to make a positive contribution
to the world)
• Welcome
– (welcoming the pupil in, regardless of difference. Letting
them know they belong).
• Belief
– (believing that whatever the student communicates in the
‘here and now’ is valid and worth taking notice of a
reflecting on)
• Acknowledgement
– (acknowledging their situation and being aware of the
impact of their history on them).
 How can we increase our levels of acceptance?

• Taking responsibility for our own histories – and

accepting that and ourselves first
• Accountability – checking in with others
• Developing our understanding – of the student, their
history
• Slowing things down
• Using specific scripts e.g. I’m not going anywhere. It
feels like you are trying to push me away but I’m still
here.
 Curiosity
• Curiosity drives exploration
• Expressing interest
• Shows respect and value
• Helps to build trust
• Helps to find new perspective and helps to
understand behaviour, motives, fears and
thoughts that drive
• Non judgemental wondering
• Adult wondering out loud
 Empathy
The ability to feel with someone
• Communicates our curiosity and acceptance
• Helps us to stand in their shoes and recognise
and respond to emotional experiences.
• Not alone
• Grows resilience
• Softens discipline
• Relieves shame
 Use the language of empathy

How hard that is You look so sad! I

You seem to be so
for you! I know know how much
disappointed you
you really gave it you were looking
were not able to
your best! forward to that
finish your task

• We can modify what we say if they disagree

– You seem to be quite annoyed with him for that...or maybe not annoyed, maybe just kind
of frustrated and disappointed?

• We can also make comments interwoven with curiosity

– You don’t seem to want to do anything now...can you help me to understand what is
going on?
 PACE – How to put it into practice
Playfulness “Thank you
Convey optimism for showing “No wonder
Keep things light me ...” you...”

Acceptance
Be non-judgemental “When did you start
Accept child for who they are feeling like this?”
See behaviour as a way of coping

Curiosity “Have you seen

Show an interest in child’s inner life
someone else act
Discover who they are
like this?”
Empathy Match Affect
Get a deep sense of what the child is experiencing
Get alongside child - let them know you “get” them Verbal and non-verbal
congruence
 Keeping yourself safe

Schools must provide a secure base for teachers

• by responding to teachers successes and difficulties within a
PACE model.
• Safe and confidential space and time to discuss troubling
children and any associated feelings they have from these
events.
• Strong relationships between staff
 Adjust Your Sails

"You can't control the wind, but you can

adjust your sails.“

Yiddish Proverb