Edward's Eclipse

Ultimatum – EPOV
She isn't ready for this, she doesn't understand what she's giving up. And I'm running out of time.
Like most evenings lately, I was pacing around the house, thinking about everything I didn't
want to think about while I waited for my Charlie approved visiting hours to start. Aggravated, I
tried to focus on Bella and what she would be doing right now, in hopes that it would
momentarily ease my anxiety. I pictured her cooking for Charlie, discussing their day, taking
care of her homework, worrying about Jacob...
Great. I manage one moment of reprieve from fearing for her mortality and where do my
thoughts go? Werewolves. My mind was once again entirely incapable of just letting it go. They
weren't even on speaking terms, he'd made no attempt to contact or see her. Why couldn't we all
just forget about the dog and get back the the way things were?
It had actually amazed me how, at least for the most part, in the weeks since Italy, our lives had
returned to normal. Well, normal for us. Aside from Bella's preoccupation with wanting to make
sure Jacob was okay, she seemed more or less the same as before I'd left. Before I'd made the
worst mistake of my very long life.
If I was being honest with myself, I still hadn't fully accepted Bella's forgiveness, though she
gave it willingly and completely. I knew she downplayed how much I'd hurt her when I left,
assuring me on an almost daily basis that it didn't matter because we were together now. She
trusted me – with her heart, with her very life – yet, I couldn't make myself believe her in this
one thing.
Perhaps it was because I was endlessly reminded of how terrible it had really been for her. While
Bella's ever silent mind was able to shield me from the reality of what I did, I was constantly
assaulted from all other sides. The week I'd returned to school, every one of Bella's friend's
thoughts were acidic, and very directly pointed at me. There were varying degrees of hatred,
depending on the person's relationship to Bella, but one thing was constant among each of them.
I had caused Bella more pain than any human being should have to suffer.
And in truth, they didn't know the half of it. While the entire population of Forks seemed to have
witnessed her breakdown, only myself and my family knew what she had gone through to rescue
me. I thought I knew what fear was, but nothing could have prepared me for the sight of my
Bella, fragile and breakable, standing before the most powerful and deadly of all vampires. I had
never known true terror, until I listened to the minds of the Volturi contemplate ways to destroy
the person I loved more than anything else in this world.
The night Bella and I had returned from Italy was both the best and worst of my existence. I was
grateful beyond anything I'd ever felt that the stars had finally aligned for us, and we had been
miraculously released from the Volturi's hold and allowed to return home. Of course, the only
reason Bella's overly extensive vampire knowledge had been forgiven was Alice's assurance that
Bella would soon be one of us. And Bella's enthusiasm and determination for this outcome was
precisely the thing that now had me pacing around the living room.
“You need to stop trying to make her decisions for her.”

1
Carlisle's voice brought me abruptly from my thoughts. I looked up at him skeptically and shook
my head. I really wasn't up for another argument.
Carlisle had been more than a little persistent since Bella's little voting escapade the night we'd
returned. It was hard to shake the feeling of betrayal as every member of my family, with the
exception of Rosalie, had sat around a table and agreed with Bella's decision to end her human
life. And you know things are bad when the only one not against you is Rose.
“If the time comes and Bella still wants me to change her, you know I'm going to keep my
word,” he said solemnly.
“I know,” I said through gritted teeth.
“I don't want this to be a point of animosity between us, Edward.”
“How can it not be? You know I don't agree with her choice, and yet you'll still go through with
it.”
“Yes, I will. Because it's her choice.” He sighed, then added much more softly, “Though you
know that isn't my only reason.”
My eyes shut tight as I tried desperately to block out the path his thoughts had taken him on. I
knew what he meant, why did he have to paint the pictures so clearly for me?
Carlisle had realized long ago, long before Italy, that I would not live with Bella. The night of
the vote, after Bella had gone home, he'd tried to appease my anger at him by explaining that
while he loved Bella and truly desired for her to be part of our family, the main reason he'd
agreed to change her was because of me.
He told me that the agony he'd felt waiting to find out whether or not I'd been destroyed by the
Volturi was something he wasn't willing to go through again. Whether consciously or not, any
time Bella's mortality was brought up, his mind shuffled through all the ways her life could end,
and he knew if something were to happen, I would finish what I had foolishly started once
before. Only this time, Bella wouldn't be there to save me.
“I have to go,” I said abruptly, eager to have Bella at my side again. She always had a way of
pushing my fears aside, and focusing on the present – on us.
“Are you coming back tonight?” he asked.
Every night, after Charlie kicked me out, I had a brief amount of time on my hands before
joining Bella again by way of her window. Some nights I came home, others I simply waited
outside for her. On occasion, I went to her room while she finished the rest of her evening tasks.
I couldn't help it. Sometimes, I just needed to see the grin on her face when she found me
stretched out on her bed, waiting for her.
“I'm not sure. Depends on how much help she needs with the college applications.” And by help,
I meant stubborn refusal that ended in me filling out most of them for her.
“Don't put too much pressure on her,” Carlisle urged. “If you relax and let her start to enjoy the
idea of going to college, she might decide she wants to try it for awhile.”
I smiled, glad that at the very least, he wasn't quite as anxious as Bella was for her
transformation. He also knew that at this point, I wasn't really holding out hope of changing her
mind. All I could really hope for was more time.
When I arrived at Bella's house, I stopped at the door to listen. I probably should have felt guilty
for all the times I'd spent listening to her and Charlie's evening talks, but it was still so hard for

2
me not being able to hear her mind, I found myself taking every opportunity to learn her better.
Tonight, they were talking about college. Charlie was proud and excited that she'd received her
first acceptance, but less than thrilled by how far away it was. Although I'd never given any
indication that I was planning to leave the state for college, a part of him assumed the two of us
were planning to run away together, and he was blaming me for her eagerness to leave Forks
behind. If only I could tell him that in this instance, I was entirely on his side. I wanted Bella to
stay close to Charlie. It was the tie I knew she was having the hardest time thinking about
breaking, and I'd be lying to myself if I didn't admit I was planning on using that to buy myself
more time.
“I was just...wondering what...Edward's plans are for next year?” Charlie asked nervously. Bella
stuttered and I recognized my cue.
I knocked with a small smirk on my face, already anticipating her relieved expression as I heard
her call, “Coming!”
“Go away,” Charlie muttered and I stifled a laugh.
Bella opened the door and smiled her most radiant smile at me. If my heart was still beating, it
would have been pounding as I watched her eyes travel across my face and eventually lock gazes
with mine. I heard her breath start and stop, and I quirked an eyebrow at the strange expression
that had momentarily taken hold of her. Whatever it was, it passed as quickly as it had come, and
she laced her soft, delicate fingers with mine, making me feel like I was coming home.
“Hey,” she said softly, smiling at me lazily.
I lifted our hands up, twined together, with the intention of kissing her hand, but was supremely
aware of Charlie's glare in my general direction. Instead, I let my hand graze against her cheek,
relishing in the warmth her skin always provided me.
“How was your afternoon?” I asked.
“Slow.”
“For me, as well.” Every moment I spent apart from her felt like it dragged on forever.
Unable to resist bringing her closer, I lifted our hands up to my nose, lightly brushing against her
skin as her glorious scent filled my every sense. I closed my eyes and drank in her perfection. I
could feel her pulse through her wrist, and as I let out a slow sigh, her heart started pounding
faster. The rush of adrenaline that coursed through her veins made her smell so much more
potent, but my control didn't waver for one second.
I don't think she truly understood how different everything was now. I knew she could tell I was
more relaxed being closer to her – we'd certainly spent enough nights curled up together to prove
that. But I doubted she comprehended the magnitude of what thinking I'd lost her had done to
me. Everything inside me ached, felt real, physical pain, at the thought of anything ever hurting
her again. Especially me. While I knew I still needed to be careful around her, the urge to protect
her was more instinctual now than even my most basic need. Her blood would always sing to
me, but I knew that the magnificent sound of her beating heart would always keep me from
answering the call.
Charlie's frenzied and disapproving thoughts interrupted my moment of reverie, and I opened my
eyes just in time to see him glowering at me.
“Good evening, Charlie,” I said politely, determined not to let my manners slip, even in the face
of near hatred.

3
He grumbled, not moving from his protective stance. It was impossible to be angry with Charlie.
It was clear he loved Bella dearly, and his resistance to me was merely a product of how deeply
I'd hurt her. I could never blame him for doing everything in his power to make sure she never
felt that kind of pain again.
“I brought another set of applications,” I told Bella, holding up the hand that wasn't clutching
hers. She groaned as she noticed the quite large roll of stamps around my finger, and I knew she
was hoping we'd worn out our options. I'd been making her apply to anywhere and everywhere I
thought might make her happy. There had to be something out there exciting enough to make her
want at least a taste of the college experience. I also personally blamed myself and my absence
for making her miss most of the deadlines, so I didn't feel the least bit guilty using the Cullen
name – not to mention our monetary resources – to make sure Bella had an endless number of
options to choose from.
“There are still a few open deadlines,” I assured her, then added with a grin, “And a few places
willing to make exceptions.”
She cringed at my words and I felt her grip on my hand increase. I laughed, though I did hope
she wouldn't be too mad at me for my persistence.
“Shall we?” I asked, leading her to the kitchen with a disgruntled Charlie behind us.
I arranged the applications by order of relevance, and likelihood of eliciting a response other than
an eye roll from Bella. As she cleared the table, I noticed her grab her very worn copy of
Wuthering Heights. I looked at her skeptically, wondering how she could read it so many times.
For someone who supposedly adored love stories, I simply couldn't understand her fascination
with what I could only consider a story of hate. What joy could she possibly get from a story
whose characters were so cruel?
“Speaking of college applications, Edward,” Charlie said, stopping me from making a comment I
probably would have regretted about one of Bella's favorite books. “Bella and I were just talking
about next year. Have you decided where you're going to school?”
Never had Charlie's mind been clearer than in that moment. He wanted me far, far away, in some
miserable climate he could feel confident Bella wouldn't be willing to live in. Of course, he had
no way of knowing that Bella's plans centered around bad weather and isolation from
civilization.
“Not yet,” I answered, distracting myself from that line of thinking. “I've received a few
acceptance letters, but I'm still weighing my options.”
“Where have you been accepted?”
“Syracuse...Harvard...Dartmouth...and I just got accepted to the University of Alaska Southeast
today,” I added, winking at Bella and making her chuckle.
“Harvard? Dartmouth?” Charlie asked, openly gaping. “Well that's pretty...that's something.
Yeah, but the University of Alaska...you wouldn't really consider that when you could go Ivy
League. I mean, your father would want you to...”
“Carlisle's always fine with whatever I choose to do,” I said calmly. Besides, I didn't have a cap
and gown from University of Alaska yet. It might be time to expand the collection again.
I ignored Charlie's irritated grumbling, as Bella's face broke into a huge smile.
“Guess what, Edward?”
“What, Bella?”
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“I just got my acceptance into the University of Alaska!”
“Congratulations! What a coincidence.”
We really were enjoying this too much. I almost felt a little guilty as Charlie mumbled, “Fine.
I'm going to go watch the game, Bella. Nine-thirty.”
“Er, Dad?” she asked cautiously. “Remember the very recent discussion about my freedom...?”
My eyes widened a bit. That part of the conversation must have happened before I'd arrived. Was
Charlie finally over the worst of his brooding?
“Right,” he sighed. “Okay, ten-thirty. You still have a curfew on school nights.”
“Bella's no longer grounded?” I asked, excited by the possibility of spending time with her
somewhere other than her house. Plus, my family really missed her. Alice was the only one who
ever got to see her anymore, and even that was only because of the effect she seemed to have on
Charlie. She swore it wasn't intentional, but I could hear her annoyingly smug thoughts when she
was allowed to stay long past Bella's normal visiting hours.
“Conditionally,” Charlie grumbled. “What's it to you?”
“It's just good to know. Alice has been itching for a shopping partner, and I'm sure Bella would
love to see some city lights.”
I smiled at Bella, thinking of all the places I could take her to celebrate her newly restored
freedom. She'd seen nothing but the school and the four walls of her house for so long, she might
actually let me get away with taking her for an extravagant night on the town. Unfortunately, my
thoughts were stopped in their tracks.
“No!” Charlie yelled, and we both turned to him, wide eyed.
“Dad! What's the problem?” Bella asked anxiously as I listened to her heart race.
“I don't want you going to Seattle right now.”
“Huh?”
“I told you about that story in the paper – there's some kind of gang on a killing spree in Seattle
and I want you to steer clear, okay?”
Gang activity. Right. Humans were always quick to place some kind of blanket of blame on
gangs or serial killers when they didn't understand what was really going on. Whatever sells the
papers. I guess in a way, we should be thankful they had no problem fabricating excuses for the
atrocities that were occurring. If anyone found out the truth, we'd have a whole different set of
problems to deal with.
“Dad,” Bella breathed, obviously embarrassed by his overprotective outburst, “there's a better
chance that I'll get struck by lightning than that the one day I'm in Seattle – ”
“No, that's fine, Charlie,” I said, quick to appease his worries. I needed him to understand I was
as concerned with Bella's safety as he was. And in truth, there was no way I would take Bella
anywhere near Seattle, though it had nothing to do with gang activity. “I didn't mean Seattle. I
was thinking Portland, actually. I wouldn't have Bella in Seattle, either. Of course not.”
I quickly glanced down at the latest newspaper article, wondering how bad it would get before
someone intervened. The thought that these things were being allowed to continue appalled me.
What did the Volturi exist for if not to step in when they were needed? And they were most
definitely needed.

5
“Fine,” I heard Charlie grumble as he left the room, but my thoughts were elsewhere. Things had
gotten even worse than I'd realized.
“What – ” Bella started to ask, but I knew Charlie's attention wasn't entirely fixed on the game
yet.
“Hold on,” I said, passing her an application. “I think you can recycle your essays for this one.
Same questions.” She sighed, but took the sheet reluctantly.
It was hard to believe as I gazed out her window, the reality of what was happening in Seattle. At
first, Carlisle had assumed it was just a single vampire, or perhaps a small coven, passing
through the city and simply being less cautious than usual. But then the numbers had gone up.
Very rarely did nomads stay in one place for long – too many deaths in one area led to
suspicions. Then, when the headlines started appearing and the murders continued, we knew we
were dealing with something out of the ordinary.
I wasn't sure how long I'd been silent, but Bella suddenly made a sound of disapproval and
pushed the application across the table to me.
“Bella?”
“Be serious, Edward. Dartmouth?”
I gently set the papers in front of her again, unwilling to be swayed by her self doubts. If
Dartmouth appealed to her, I could assure her acceptance.
“I think you'd like New Hampshire. There's a full complement of night courses for me, and the
forests are very conveniently located for the avid hiker. Plentiful wildlife,” I told her with a grin.
After all this time, I was no longer shocked by her casual acceptance of my way of life, and I was
generally left with amusement. She continued to stare at me, unwavering, so I added, “I'll let you
pay me back, if that makes you happy. If you want, I can charge you interest.”
“Like I could even get in without some enormous bribe,” she scoffed. “Or was that part of the
loan? The new Cullen wing of the library? Ugh. Why are we having this discussion again?”
I knew what the next sentence was, though she couldn't speak it out loud for fear of Charlie
overhearing. My hands instinctively clenched into fists as determination blazed in her eyes.
“Will you just fill out the application, please, Bella? It won't hurt you to apply.”
“You know what? I don't think I will,” she said stubbornly, starting to gather the papers. I
quickly snatched them from her, and tucked them safely away. I was prepared for this. Nothing,
not even Bella's own resistance, was going to stop her from having choices when the time came.
“What are you doing?” she asked, irritated.
“I sign your name better than you do yourself. You've already written the essays.” I smiled,
unrepentant, and Bella's frustrated voice dropped to a whisper.
“You're going way overboard with this, you know. I really don't need to apply anywhere else.
I've been accepted in Alaska. I can almost afford the first semester's tuition. It's as good an alibi
as any. There's no need to throw away a bunch of money, no matter whose it is.”
I felt a sharp, agonizing pain as her words sunk in. Though this had been the plan all along,
hearing her say it aloud made it that much more real. This was all nothing more than a cover
story for her. She didn't care how many schools she was accepted into, where they were or what
they could offer her. As long as they provided her with a reasonable excuse to move away, she
could disappear, and finally get what she thought she wanted most.

6
“Bella – ” I started to plead, but we both knew where that argument led.
“Don't start. I agree that I need to go through the motions for Charlie's sake, but we both know
I'm not going to be in any condition to go to school next fall. To be anywhere near people.”
“I thought the timing was still undecided,” I hedged, holding onto my last bit of hope. I needed
more time. She needed more time. “You might enjoy a semester or two of college. There are a lot
of human experiences you've never had.”
“I'll get to those afterward.”
“They won't be human experiences afterward. You don't get a second chance at humanity,
Bella.”
Though I'd never admitted it out loud, there was a huge part of me that blamed myself for her
more than slightly skewed idea of what vampire life entailed. She saw me and my family leading
a, more or less, normal life. Carlisle worked, Alice shopped, we went to school. We all spent a
significant amount of time among humans. We'd had decades to practice curbing our thirst, and
appearing normal was something we did because it was expected of us. It was a necessary choice
we made when we decided we didn't want to live as the nomads did. We wanted a life, or at least
something resembling a life. Bella didn't truly know the struggle we'd all faced in the beginning,
or the struggles we continued to face on a daily basis.
I'd always tried to shield Bella from the more gruesome aspects of our existence. Though I'd
given her a vague idea, I hadn't gone into many details about my rebellious years and the
murders I was responsible for. If it weren't for Carlisle, I might still be living that way. I'd never
allowed her to see us hunt, so while she was able to joke about our dining habits, I wasn't entirely
convinced she had a clear picture of what she would be facing.
“You've got to be reasonable about the timing, Edward,” Bella said, breaking me from my
thoughts. “It's just too dangerous to mess around with.”
“There's no danger yet,” I said, hating to hear her talk about her transformation like it was the
only way to keep her safe. My family and I would keep her safe. I would not allow her to be
scared into this decision.
She stared in me, disbelief apparent on her face. It's true, I wasn't arguing that her life had been
in danger repeatedly. I cursed myself every day for having allowed any of it to happen. I watched
her face contort as she likely recalled all she'd been through since I entered her life. I could see
the fear in her eyes, and though I couldn't hear her thoughts, I had a very clear picture of what
her mind was putting her through. I knew, because, as much as I tried to fight them, I had those
same thoughts. She was imagining all the things that could happen to her, from freak accidents,
to more vampire attacks, so simple old age.
“Bella,” I said softly, trying to both reassure her and calm my own worries. “There's no hurry. I
won't let anyone hurt you. You can take all the time you need.”
“I want to hurry,” she said quickly, trying to shake all the concern off her face. She smiled a very
forced smile. “I want to be a monster, too.”
Fury suddenly took hold of me, though I could never find it in myself to be angry with her. It
was my fault she didn't understand the truth of what we were. I'd fought so hard to protect her, to
help her not be afraid, but I knew I would hate myself forever if I allowed her to go through with
her plans without fully understanding what she would become.

7
“You have no idea what you're saying,” I growled, dropping the newspaper in front of her and
pointing to the headline.
DEATH TOLL ON THE RISE, POLICE FEAR GANG ACTIVITY
“What does that have to do with anything?” she asked, even now not comprehending what I was
trying to tell her.
“Monsters are not a joke, Bella,” I said firmly, locking eyes with her before her gaze traveled
back to the paper. Comprehension flickered, and her eyes once again met mine.
“A...a vampire is doing this?” she asked, panic evident in her shaky whisper. Though I hated to
frighten her, I knew what needed to be said. She had to know that what she'd observed of me and
my family, was not an accurate depiction of our world. There were horrors beyond even what
she'd witnessed with the nomads and the Volturi.
“You'd be surprised, Bella, at how often my kind are the source behind the horrors in your
human news. It's easy to recognize, when you know what to look for. The information here
indicates a newborn vampire is loose in Seattle. Bloodthirsty, wild, out of control. The way we
all were.”
I let my words sink in as she looked down at the paper, new understanding in her eyes. She had
to wonder – would she be like that? Would she be responsible for the deaths of innocents?
“We've been monitoring the situation for a few weeks. All the signs are there – the unlikely
disappearances, always in the night, the poorly disposed-of corpses, the lack of other
evidence...Yes, someone brand-new. And no one seems to be taking responsibility for the
neophyte...”
I realized Bella's breathing had turned shallow and her heart was racing, and instantly I regretted
having spoken so bluntly. I knew it was necessary, but I couldn't shut out the pain I felt at having
upset her. I breathed deeply and tried to take at least some of the edge out of my voice.
“Well, it's not our problem. We wouldn't even pay attention to the situation if it wasn't going on
so close to home. Like I said, this happens all the time. The existence of monsters results in
monstrous consequences.”
There was a long silence while Bella's eyes flashed dismally across the page. I wished she would
say something, so I could know what effect my words had had on her. Eventually, her breathing
returned to normal, though when she spoke, it was still that shaky whisper from before.
“It won't be the same for me. You won't let me be like that. We'll live in Antarctica.”
Though entirely inappropriate to laugh, I couldn't help myself. She'd inadvertently conjured a
rather entertaining visual for me, and I realized she was right. I would go to positively absurd
lengths to make sure she didn't end up like that savage in Seattle.
“Penguins. Lovely,” I muttered, and was happy to hear Bella laugh again, even if it was an
uneasy laugh.
“Alaska, then, as planned. Only somewhere much more remote than Juneau – somewhere with
grizzlies galore.”
“Better,” I said, glad the tension had eased. “There are polar bears, too. Very fierce. And the
wolves get quite large.”
Suddenly, Bella was gaping at me, the color of her cheeks reddening, but not from her usual
blush.

8
“What's wrong?” I asked, but the moment the words had left my mouth, I knew what I'd done.
The sick irony was not lost on me. All I'd wanted for weeks was to forget about Jacob, let my
subconscious believe he no longer existed. For once, I'd finally succeeded, and it turns out it was
just long enough for me to upset Bella.
“Oh,” I said, hoping she would just want to move on quickly. “Never mind the wolves, then, if
the idea is offensive to you.”
“He was my best friend, Edward,” she said softly, though there was a definite edge to her voice.
“Of course the idea offends me.”
“Please forgive my thoughtlessness. I shouldn't have suggested that.”
“Don't worry about it.”
I watched her eyes turn slightly glassy, and I ached to know I'd hurt her again. She was hiding
from me, too, I knew that. I could see that a part of her wanted to be able to talk about it with me,
but she was worried I wouldn't want to hear. Which I didn't. But that didn't mean I wouldn't
listen, if it would help her heal some of the pain.
I reached out to touch her face, lifting her chin up gently so she could see the sincerity in my
eyes. I felt her relax under my touch, though her expression was still agonized.
“Sorry,” I repeated. “Really.”
“I know. I know it's not the same thing. I shouldn't have reacted that way. It's just that...well, I
was already thinking about Jacob before you came over.”
She paused, probably worried about offending me. I tried to keep the ire out of my eyes as my
thoughts drifted to less than pleasant thoughts about Jacob. I could feel the frustration building,
so I returned my focus to Bella. I knew she thought about him often. And yes, it upset me, but I
still wanted her to open up.
“Charlie says Jake is having a hard time,” she continued, even more quietly than before. “He's
hurting right now, and...it's my fault.”
“You've done nothing wrong, Bella.”
I felt my posture relax infinitesimally. It was easier to think that Bella's concern for Jacob was a
product the irrational guilt she often placed on herself. Anything was better than thinking there
were unresolved feelings for him under the surface, feelings I couldn't fault her for but that
slowly ate away at me. I knew what Jacob had been to her during my absence, and while I was
grateful for whatever ability he had to help heal her, I wanted to believe his part in our story was
over.
“I need to make it better, Edward. I owe him that. And it's one of Charlie's conditions, anyway –
”
I felt my body tense and my fists clench. If only Charlie knew what he was sending Bella into.
Not that a vampire would be much of an improvement over a werewolf if he knew the truth. Still,
it didn't seem fair that Charlie was pushing Bella into Jacob's arms while he loathed my very
existence.
“You know it's out of the question for you to be around a werewolf unprotected, Bella. And it
would break the treaty if any of us cross over onto their land. Do you want us to start a war?”
“Of course not!”

9
“Then there's really no point in discussing the matter further.” I tried to fill my voice with a sense
of finality, but I knew Bella better than that. The subject was far from over. The most I could
hope for at this point was to delay it until we'd both had time to calm down.
Desperate to be talking about something, anything, else, I glanced behind her at the book she'd
set aside earlier.
“I'm glad Charlie has decided to let you out – you're sadly in need of a visit to the bookstore. I
can't believe you're reading Wuthering Heights again. Don't you know it by heart yet?”
“Not all of us have photographic memories,” she snapped, still upset. What I wouldn't have
given for Charlie to magically disappear into his room, so I could sweep Bella upstairs and make
everything right again. She always seemed so much more forgiving when she was in my arms.
Reluctantly, I settled for discussing her book. Maybe she would finally be able to explain what
she found so enjoyable about it.
“Photographic memory or not, I don't understand why you like it. The characters are ghastly
people who ruin each others' lives. I don't know how Heathcliff and Cathy ended up being
ranked with couples like Romeo and Juliet or Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. It isn't a love
story, it's a hate story.”
“You have some serious issues with the classics,” she said bitterly.
“Perhaps it's because I'm not impressed by antiquity,” I said with a smirk. When she didn't
respond, I started to wonder if discussing the book had been a bad choice. Maybe I'd actually
offended her and made everything worse. I hoped she didn't think I was trying to pick a fight, or
turn her against one of her favorite literary couples. I just genuinely needed to understand how
such a dark story could have captured her heart so completely.
“Honestly, though, why do you read it over and over?” I asked, eyes pleading as I reached out to
touch her face.
“I'm not sure,” she breathed, her expression softening at my sudden interest. “I think it's
something about the inevitability. How nothing can keep them apart – not her selfishness, or his
evil, or even death, the in the end...”
And somehow, I started to understand. Though it might never sit on my shelf among my
favorites, I could begin to see what had intrigued Bella. I myself understood something of
inevitability, though before Bella, it had only manifested itself in my mind as the unchangeable
life I'd been doomed to live in. Then, miraculously, she'd changed everything. All the things I'd
lived through and experiences I'd had seemed to have been working together to bring me to her.
By all accounts, I should have left this Earth long ago. I shouldn't be here to love her. Yet here I
sat, against all odds, with my reason for being at my side. I certainly didn't deserve it – I was as
vile a being as Heathcliff.
I wished I could be better for her.
“I still think it would be a better story if either of them had one redeeming quality,” I added with
a smile, trying to push away my feelings of unworthiness. I'd promised myself to stay away from
conversations involving my not deserving her. Though I would always know it's true, it seemed
to upset her to hear me speak it aloud.
“I think that may be the point,” she continued. “Their love is their only redeeming quality.”
As Bella was mine.
“I hope you have better sense than that – to fall in love with someone so...malignant.”
10
“It's a bit late for me to worry about who I fall in love with,” she assured me. “But even without
the warning, I seem to have managed fairly well.”
I laughed under my breath. Of course I didn't agree, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been hoping
to hear those exact words.
“I'm glad you think so,” I said with a grin.
“Well, I hope you're smart enough to stay away from someone so selfish. Catherine is really the
source of all the trouble, not Heathcliff.”
“I'll be on my guard.”
The atmosphere had grown lighter and I began tracing her soft cheeks with my thumb. It felt so
natural, having her face gently resting in my hands. She leaned into my touch with a sigh, closing
her eyes for a moment before her expression shifted once again.
“I need to see Jacob,” she said firmly, and I shut my eyes to momentarily escape her stare.
“No.”
“It's truly not dangerous at all. I used to spend all day in La Push with the whole lot of them, and
nothing ever happened.”
She'd never gone into the specifics of her time with the wolves, and I'd honestly been happy not
knowing exactly how deep into their world she'd let herself fall. But something in her voice told
me she'd seen at least a glimpse of what I'd been warning her about. Her heart beat steadily faster
as I allowed whatever memory had taken hold of her to unfold completely. Her eyes widened
and I nodded in understanding. She hadn't been hurt, but there had been a moment of danger.
“Werewolves are unstable,” I said, my voice even but firm. “Sometimes, the people near them
get hurt. Sometimes, they get killed.”
I watched as her expression shifted again, and it was a battle not to ask what she'd witnessed. I
didn't want to think of her having ever been in peril, especially when I knew it was my fault she'd
been put in that position. My leaving had forced her to seek refuge in a place that could only
offer her more danger.
“You don't know them,” she finally said, her voice barely a whisper.
“I know them better than you think, Bella. I was here the last time.”
“The last time?”
“We started crossing paths with the wolves about seventy years ago...We had just settled near
Hoquiam. That was before Alice and Jasper were with us. We outnumbered them, but that
wouldn't have stopped it from turning into a fight if not for Carlisle. He managed to convince
Ephraim Black that coexisting was possible, and eventually we made the truce.”
I paused for a moment, thinking back to the courage Carlisle had shown. He knew it would be
difficult to convince them that our family was different, but his desire for peace among our kinds
was so strong, Ephraim couldn't in good conscience refuse us.
So many decades had passed since the days of the wolves, we were certain that whatever danger
had brought them about in the first place was long gone, and our adherence to the treaty had
shown them our trustworthiness. We'd always assumed there had to be someone there to actively
continue the line, so when Ephraim was gone and no new wolves emerged, we were convinced
their time had ended.

11
“We thought the line had died out with Ephraim. That the genetic quirk which allowed the
transmutation had been lost...” I whispered, lost in thought.
I looked up at Bella, wondering how it was even possible we were having this conversation. How
had the wolves resurfaced? And why?
“Your bad luck seems to get more potent every day. Do you realize that your insatiable pull for
all things deadly was strong enough to recover a pack of mutant canines from extinction? If we
could bottle your luck, we'd have a weapon of mass destruction on our hands.”
I was mostly kidding, though a part of me wondered if I was onto something. If it was a desire to
protect that caused the wolves to resurface, then I couldn't imagine a stronger pull than desire to
protect Bella. She may not have been the initial cause, but if she was in danger for a single
moment, even I couldn't fault Jacob for protecting her by any means necessary. I never thought
I'd find myself grateful for the emergence of a werewolf, but he did save her life, and I knew for
that, I would forever be in his debt.
“But I didn't bring them back,” Bella said, the fierceness in her voice startling me. Her tone was
strained, almost accusing. “Don't you know?”
“Know what?”
“My bad luck had nothing to do with it. The werewolves came back because the vampires did.
Jacob told me that your family being here set things in motion. I thought you would already
know...”
My feelings of gratitude toward Jacob were quickly replaced with anger as I realized he had
crossed yet another line. How dare he speak of things he knows nothing about? He wasn't there
in the beginning, and there's only so much hearing the stories can teach someone. Our bond was
strong as long as the rules were followed. Today, as it had always been, the treaty was firmly in
place. None of my family had given the Quileutes any reason to doubt us. We'd been living in
Forks for quite some time without any appearance of the wolves, and I resented his assumption
that we were the cause of their return.
“Is that what they think?” I asked, still bewildered. Perhaps the presence of the nomads and their
careless disregard for human life, but not us...
“Edward, look at the facts. Seventy years ago, you came here, and the werewolves showed up.
You come back now, and the werewolves show up again. Do you think that's a coincidence?”
I still wasn't convinced – we'd done nothing to provoke them.. Still, I knew Carlisle, always the
voice of reason, would want to hear about it.
“Carlisle will be interested in that theory,” I said as calmly as I could manage.
“Theory,” she repeated, obviously still irritated with me.
I didn't know much about the process, nor had I ever been particularly interested, but the Black's
theory did make me wonder how long the gene would take to manifest itself. Could it really be
that things had been set in motion when my family arrived, but we didn't see the effects until
much later? The one thing I still couldn't reconcile, however, is why they turned up at the precise
moment we left. If we truly were the cause, wouldn't our leaving have stopped them from
completing the transmutation? Or was it already too late by that point?
“Interesting, but not exactly relevant,” I muttered, mostly to myself. Then, turning to Bella –
who, as it turns out, was just as good at distracting me as I was at distracting her – I told her
bluntly, “The situation remains the same.”
12
Bella watched me for a moment, and I could almost feel the wheels in her head turning. She
thought I was overreacting, and she was desperate to try to make me see reason. Slowly, she
stood up and walked over to me, my arms immediately opening and beckoning her closer. I hated
it when she and I didn't see eye to eye, and hated even more when we let it get us both worked
up.
As she sat herself down in my lap and curled up into my embrace, I knew that both of us were
tired of going around in circles. We didn't want to argue anymore, but were both still trying to
make the other understand our line of thinking.
“Please just listen for a minute,” she pleaded, looking up at me from under her lashes. “This is so
much more important than some whim to drop in on an old friend. Jacob is in pain. I can't not try
to help him – I can't give up on him now, when he needs me. Just because he's not human all the
time...Well, he was there for me when I was...not so human myself. You don't know what it was
like...”
I felt every inch of my body tense. Bella so rarely spoke of those months I was absent. She knew
what it did to me. However, she could never know the full extent of it. She didn't realize that
every time she spoke the words, my mind flashed to all the images I'd seen through the eyes of
others. Her teachers would recall the dead expression she'd worn for so many months. Her
friends would remember the way she barely spoke. It was the one time I was grateful I couldn't
hear Charlie as clear as the rest. I couldn't imagine what I would see if I was granted full access
to his mind.
“If Jacob hadn't helped me...” she continued, “I'm not sure what you would have come home to. I
owe him better than this, Edward.”
My eyes snapped shut as I tried to block out the images that were assaulting me. I shuddered to
think of what I would see if I were to come face to face with Jacob. No doubt, he had seen her at
her worst.
“I'll never forgive myself for leaving you,” I said, my voice strained in anguish. “Not if I live a
hundred thousand years.”
In the midst of my misery, I was graciously given the gentle reprieve of Bella's touch. I didn't
deserve it. Her fingers traced my cheek and I sighed into her warmth, my eyes opening and
locking with her gaze.
“You were just trying to do the right thing,” she said kindly. “And I'm sure it would have worked
with anyone less mental than me. Besides, you're here now. That's the part that matters.”
She'd said the words so often, yet I still couldn't believe them.
“If I'd never left, you wouldn't feel the need to go risk your life to comfort a dog.”
She seemed taken aback for a moment, and I felt instantly guilty for having once again said
something to offend her. I tried to soften my tone, but the severity of the situation would not
allow it to come out as carefully as I wanted.
“I don't know how to phrase this properly. It's going to sound cruel, I suppose. But I've come too
close to losing you in the past. I know what it feels like to think I have. I am not going to tolerate
anything dangerous.”
“You have to trust me on this. I'll be fine.”

13
No! my mind was screaming at me. This wasn't about not trusting her. She didn't know what she
was walking into. I can't leave this up to chance. Please don't go where I can't follow. I can't
know you're okay unless I'm with you.
“Please, Bella,” I begged, unable to form the rest of the words, and trying to block out the voice
telling me my pleading wouldn't do any good.
“Please what?” she asked, exasperated.
“Please, for me. Please make a conscious effort to keep yourself safe. I'll do everything I can, but
I would appreciate a little help.”
“I'll work on it,” she muttered, and it pained me that she seemed to be ignoring my desperation.
Didn't she understand by now she means everything to me?
“Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I
love you?” I pulled her close, as tightly as I could without hurting her, and rested my chin on her
head, breathing her in like it was the last breath I would ever take. When she kissed my neck, the
warmth radiated through my entire body, and it both soothed me and made me ache. I needed her
– safe, forever...
“I know how much I love you,” she said softly, her breath washing over me and creating another
cascade of warmth.
“You compare one small three to the entire forest.”
“Impossible.” Though her voice was still doubtful, I could feel her heart beat a little faster, and
she seemed to nuzzle closer to me. I would never stop trying to convince her that she was my
world.
With a quick kiss on her head, I repeated the words I knew wouldn't get us any closer to a
solution.
“No werewolves.”
“I'm not going along with that. I have to see Jacob.”
“Then I'll have to stop you.”
“We'll see about that. He's still my friend.”
There we sat, at yet another impasse. My beautiful, stubborn girl – drawn to danger at every turn.
Best friends with a werewolf, and in love with a vampire. Though I'd never condone it, or speak
the words out loud, I was starting to wonder if maybe she was right. Immortality was the only
way to keep her safe.

Evasion – EPOV
That evening, Bella was distracted. No, not just distracted – completely not herself. And it was
making me nervous. Worried I'd been pushing her too far with all the college applications, I ran
them back to my house before meeting her in her room. She seemed somewhat appeased that
they didn't make another appearance, but there was something in her expression that still wasn't
14
right. I noticed she kept fidgeting with something in her pocket, and I had to stop myself several
times from asking what it was.
She was restless most of the night, and kept muttering “I'm trying,” as her expression twisted and
contorted. I traced my fingers up and down her arm, planting light kisses on her shoulder and
neck until she calmed down. Eventually, her breathing slowed and she turned into me, her head
resting on my chest as I hummed to her.
By morning, all the anxieties of the night appeared to have vanished. She smiled lazily up at me
and I leaned down to kiss her forehead.
“Good morning, my love,” I whispered as she signed and pulled herself closer. It was hard to let
her go, but I knew she needed her personal time in the mornings. I also knew it would only be an
hour or so until I'd see her again, and that knowledge was often the only reason I could make
myself leave.
I ran home to pick up the Volvo while Bella got ready for school. As soon as I entered, Alice was
at my side with a disapproving look on her face.
“Why won't you let me buy her new clothes? You could give them to her. You know she'd be
more likely to accept them coming from you.”
“Hardly,” I mumbled, rolling my eyes. Alice was never going to give up her quest to turn Bella
into Small Town Style Barbie.
“I saw what she's planning on wearing today,” she continued relentlessly.
“And she'll look as beautiful as she always does,” I retorted, eliciting a pout from Alice. “Why
does it matter so much to you anyway?”
“Is it a crime for me to want her to look nice? After all, she is going to be my sister someday. I'm
just looking out for her.”
“Might be your sister,” I corrected, which earned me another scowl.
“I refuse to argue with you about this,” she said sternly. “One way or another, Bella is joining
this family. Either by her transformation or by you two finally making it official, she's going to
be my sister. All I have to do is wait to see which happens first.”
“Right,” I said sarcastically. “Like you have to wait to see anything.”
“Hey, my vision isn't foolproof and you know it. Need I remind you that I didn't even see your
proposal coming?”
“Neither did I,” I muttered, somewhat embarrassed.
“Besides, Bella hasn't made up her mind yet. Until she does, I'm as blind as you. Now, hurry up
or you'll be late. You don't want to keep Bella waiting.”
I sighed as Alice flitted out the front door, letting my mind wander back to the night after the big
vote, and to my quasi-proposal. Though I couldn't be sorry I'd said it, a part of me had been
kicking myself ever since that night.
“Marry me first.”
I inwardly cringed at my completely unplanned, unromantic moment of idiocy. A marriage
proposal shouldn't be blurted out, and it certainly shouldn't be offered as contingency to vampire
conversion. I was an absolute fool. She hadn't even taken me seriously. Then again, how could I
blame her? There had been no warning, no prelude, no flowers or candles. There hadn't even
been a ring.
15
Not that I didn't have a ring, but that was another matter altogether.
Although Bella and I hadn't spoken of it since that night, not a day went by that I didn't imagine
new and much more proper ways of proposing to her again. I tried not to focus on the fact that
she had basically refused me, deciding that under the circumstances, I shouldn't have expected
any other response. Next time, though, I would make sure everything was perfect.
I felt a grin spread across my face, and laughed under my breath at my wandering thoughts.
When the time is right... I reminded myself.
I knew Carlisle was home, and I wanted to talk with him about Jacob's theory on our being the
cause of the werewolf...infestation...but I knew there wasn't time. Deciding it could wait until
later, I hurried outside and drove off to pick up Bella. Out of respect for Charlie and his
restrictions, she had been driving herself to school, and both of us were eager to resume our
pattern from last year. She was waiting for me when I arrived, smiling from ear to ear as she ran
to the Volvo. I took a quick peak around to make sure none of her neighbors were in sight, then
flew around to the passenger door in time to open it for her. She gave me a quick kiss on the
cheek, her smile growing impossibly larger before stepping inside.
We walked hand in hand until I dropped her off at her first class, and I was waiting for her
outside of Spanish so we could walk to the cafeteria together. I loved the way her pulse raced
every time my fingers laced with hers. The electricity between us seemed only to intensify with
time.
We headed to our usual table, and though my attention was always primarily on Bella, I was
momentarily distracted by the nervous energy I felt permeating the room. Nearly every mind
around me was frantic, worrying about finals, wondering what they were going to wear to prom,
running through lists of graduation details. It was deafening.
“Have you sent your announcements, yet?” Angela asked Bella the moment we sat down.
I just know I'm the last one to get them out. Where did all the time go? How could I have let this
happen? Her thoughts didn't stop racing, and I wondered how she would even hear Bella's
answer.
“No. There's no point, really. Renee knows when I'm graduating. Who else is there?”
With all that time she's saving not sending out invitations, you'd think she could let me take her
shopping once. I looked up to see Alice frowning at Bella, and I gave her a swift kick under the
table. The last thing I wanted was for Bella to feel uncomfortable. She looked perfect to me.
“How about you, Alice?” Angela asked, stopping Alice's less than kind thoughts in their tracks.
“All done,” she said triumphantly. I rolled my eyes. Had we really needed another gradation
announcement mounted on the wall? Esme had smiled proudly, as always, insisting there was no
harm in letting her have a little fun with what would otherwise be a very mundane event for us
all.
“Lucky you,” Angela murmured. “My mother has a thousand cousins and she expects me to
hand-address one to everybody. I'm going to get carpal tunnel. I can't put it off any longer and
I'm just dreading it.”
“I'll help you,” Bella said cheerfully. “If you don't mind my awful handwriting.”
I smiled, happy to see Bella getting to spend time with her friends again. I knew part of her
eagerness to help Angela was out of desire to abide by Charlie's wishes, spending more time
outside the Cullen circle, but she'd also really missed Angela, and it was nice that they would get
16
to have some time, just the two of them. Maybe I'd reach out to some of her friends as well, and
try to earn back their trust. It would be a difficult task with so many of them still harboring
resentment toward me, but they were important to Bella, and that made me want to try.
I glanced back over to Bella who was absolutely beaming as she made plans to go to Angela's
house. She explained how Charlie had finally lifted her sentence, and Angela's eyes lit up.
“Well, this is great, Bella! We'll have to go out to celebrate.”
“You have no idea how good that sounds.”
“What should we do?” Alice asked innocently, while her mind raced through various options she
considered appropriate levels of celebration.
Surely if I took her shopping in Paris, she'd have to let me buy her something, right? I mean, it
would be absurd to travel all that way and come back empty handed. Oh! Maybe Rome. It really
was a shame she didn't get to enjoy Italy. Don't you think we should help her get some real use
out of that passport?
I was about to give Alice another not so subtle kick, but Bella had already seen the look in her
eyes.
“Whatever you're thinking, Alice, I doubt I'm that free.”
“Free is free, right?”
“I'm sure I still have boundaries – like the continental U.S., for example.”
Though Angela and Ben both started laughing, Alice looked absolutely crestfallen, and I had to
stifle my own laughter. Even without the benefits of mind reading, Bella knew Alice almost as
well as I did.
“So what are we doing tonight?” Alice asked, defeated.
“Nothing,” Bella insisted. “Look, let's give it a couple of days to make sure he wasn't joking. It's
a school night, anyway.”
“We'll celebrate this weekend, then.”
“Sure,” Bella answered somewhat wearily. Alice's smile reappeared as her mind launched into
another series of outrageous things Bella would never agree to. At least she was keeping her
plans within the country this time.
The conversation shifted quickly into a lighthearted discussion of where they were going to drag
Bella off to. It didn't escape my notice that Bella's earlier enthusiasm was slowly dissipating, and
I took her hand in mine, silently assuring her she didn't have to do anything she didn't want to.
Her expression was distant, and I was starting to worry that there might be more to it than her
usual aversion to attention and people doing things for her. I was watching her carefully, and was
about to see if she wanted to leave, when Alice abruptly stopped talking.
Edward...
My eyes shot up to hers and I listened, unmoving, while the vision played itself out. At first, it
was hard to tell exactly what she was seeing, but slowly the pictures became clearer. There was a
flash of red, like fire blazing its way through Forks. Then, the fire slowed and I could see a face I
recognized all too well.
Victoria.

17
Her villainous smile and ire filled eyes consumed my every thought as I forced myself not to
tighten my grip on Bella's hand. Of course she would see Alice's expression and know she was
seeing something, but I couldn't let her know it was anything to worry about. My family and I
could handle one enraged vampire, and I would not allow Bella to waste one more moment of
her life frightened.
“Alice? Alice!” Angela said loudly, waving her hand and trying to get Alice's attention.
I laughed to distract Angela , then kicked Alice sharply, reminding her we were in public.
“Is it naptime already, Alice?” I said, forcing her to lock gazes with me. Her eyes widened and
she let her posture shift back into its relaxed position.
“Sorry, I was daydreaming, I guess.”
“Daydreaming's better than facing two more hours of school,” Ben added, and almost instantly,
we were engaged once more in casual conversation. The difference now, was that Alice, Bella,
and I were all pretending.
As hard as I was trying not to give Bella any reason to worry, I could hear that her heart wasn't
settling back into its regular rhythm, and felt how tense her body was next to mine. Alice was
keeping up the facade well, but I was sure Bella noticed the intensity of her gaze when she
locked eyes with mine.
Get Bella away from Forks for awhile. We'll handle this.
I gave her the tiniest of nods while I ran my fingers through Bella's hair. I wasn't sure which one
of us I was trying to comfort with the gesture.
I stayed closer than usual to Bella's friends for the rest of the day, unwilling to give her the
chance to ask what was wrong. I had every intention of listening to Alice's advice and getting
Bella as far away from Forks as possible. I just needed to think of somewhere she wouldn't
refuse. Where could I offer to take her that she wouldn't instantly recognize as an excuse to get
her out of town? We could go up to Alaska to check out the college that would be serving as her
alibi, though that thought only made me more miserable and worried. Better yet, I could take her
to see Dartmouth, and try to entice her with the beautiful architecture.
My mind still racing with possibilities, I eventually noticed Bella eying me suspiciously as we
walked toward the parking lot at the end of the day. I quickly forced myself into a conversation
with Mike Newton to delay the inevitable a little while longer. His car was only starting about
half the time, and he was worried eventually he would end up stranded somewhere.
“Maybe you need a new battery,” I suggested, infusing my voice with as much sincerity as I
could muster, considering who I was talking to.
Yeah, genius, like I never thought to check the battery. Why is he even bothering, anyway?
Mike's biting internal sarcasm didn't make it any easier to keep the smile on my face.
“Yes, I thought of that,” he said, obviously struggling as much as I was to keep the conversation
polite. “But I just replaced the battery.”
“Perhaps it's the cables?”
“Maybe. I really don't know anything about cars. I need to have someone look at it, but I can't
afford to take it to Dowling's.”
I suddenly felt Bella's hand squeeze mine tightly, and her body stiffened. I glanced at her, but she
already seemed to be calming herself down from whatever had upset her.
18
“I know a few things,” I said, bringing my focus back to Mike. “I could take a look, if you like.
Just let me drop Alice and Bella at home.”
Seriously? he thought, gaping at me. Don't want him at my house, don't want to be having this
conversation...
“Er...thanks,” he stuttered, and I nearly rolled my eyes at how stubborn her was being. “But I
have to get to work. Maybe some other time.” Like never.
“Absolutely.” Then I smiled widely at him, trying not to take too much pleasure in the baffled
look on his face.
“See ya,” he muttered as he got into his car. It was so much easier when we both just hated each
other. Does this mean I have to start being nice to Cullen?
I laughed under my breath and politely listened to make sure his car started up, then went to open
the passenger door for Bella.
“What was that about?” she asked.
“Just being helpful.”
Then I glanced meaningfully back at Alice, with a look that said, “now it's your turn to be
helpful.” She immediately starting babbling about everything and nothing, as Bella let out a sigh.
She knew this trick.
When we reached my driveway, Alice paused her chattering long enough to let me see one more
flash of her earlier vision. Victoria was perched outside Bella's window, and it was everything I
could do to maintain my relaxed posture.
Bella already has plane tickets, remember? All you have to do is convince her to use them.
“See you later,” I said casually, then nodded to her in understanding. How had I forgotten about
the tickets to Jacksonville? I guess I was instinctively trying to forget everything about her
horrible birthday that had led to the worst mistake of my long life.
Though I knew curiosity was getting to her, Bella remained silent the whole way back to her
house. Every once in awhile, I caught her glancing at me from the corner of her eye, but I kept
my gaze fixed forward, a soft smile on my face.
“Light homework load tonight,” I said as we pulled into the driveway.
“Mmm.”
“Do you suppose I'm allowed inside again?” I asked. Not that it ever really stopped me. Still, it
was nice not to have to hide from Charlie.
“Charlie didn't throw a fit when you picked me up for school,” she said simply, though there was
an edge to her voice.
I followed her upstairs, holding my breath and waiting for the question I knew was coming. I
was surprised when she walked almost immediately to her computer, flicking it on as I laid down
on the bed. I glanced toward her nightstand, wondering if I would find the tickets collecting dust
in her drawer. Bella seemed sufficiently distracted, so I quickly opened the drawer and shuffled
through a thin stack of papers, only to find them at the bottom of the pile, just as I'd suspected.
Tickets tucked safely away in my pocket, my mind wandered as I listened to the sound of the
computer warming up. Getting her to agree to a trip to Florida didn't seem like too difficult an
undertaking. It was obvious she missed her mother. She had been talking about her in her sleep a

19
lot lately, and I was sure a visit would do both of them a lot of good. And Bella and I being on
the other side of the country would keep me sane.
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Bella's fingers drumming nervously on her desk. I
stared at her worried expression, and the next instant, I was beside her, locking my fingers with
hers.
“Are we a little impatient today?” I asked, reveling in the warmth she was radiating. Suddenly, I
needed to be closer.
Her heartbeat picked up slightly as I gazed into her eyes, my intent becoming clear when I leaned
in and took in a deep breath of her scent. It was amazing the way all my fears seemed to
disappear the moment our lips touched. Everything else vanished and there was only us.
Although I was no longer consciously thinking about the danger that was on the way, my
concern for Bella's safety was still eliciting strange responses within me. Instead of pulling away
like I normally would, everything in my body was telling me to bring her closer. Without
thinking, my fingers were lacing into her hair and I was pressing her face tightly to mine.
I hadn't grown immune to the burn that always rose in my throat when we were this close, but I'd
learned not to let fear of it take over. I knew I was in control, and the soft hum Bella was
unconsciously making was telling me she didn't want me to let go. Caught up in the moment, I
was all too willing to comply, and I allowed myself to sink into her. I let my hand trace down her
spine, and as I held her closer, I felt her start to shiver. With a reluctant sigh and one final deep
breath of her perfection, I started to back away, but she pulled herself flush against me.
I knew she always wished she was stronger, but in those instances when I felt her desperation to
stay connected with me, I felt like I was the weak one. I wanted to give her everything, no matter
what my rational thoughts were telling me. When her soft, warm tongue touched my bottom lip,
the wave of desire I had been trying to bury came crashing in on me like a tidal wave. Her scent
I'd learned to handle, but when she let me taste her like that...
My actions finally caught up with my hazy mind, and I gently moved her face away from mine.
Her breathing was ragged as we stared at each other, and I let out one soft laugh as I saw the
reflection of my eyes in her own. For one brief moment, we matched – two fiery eyed people in
love, seeking more than was probably wise.
“Ah, Bella,” I breathed, wishing that I could give her more.
“I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not,” she admitted, blushing.
“And I should feel sorry that you're not sorry, but I don't. Maybe I should go sit on the bed.”
“If you think that's necessary...”
I smirked as I pulled myself unwillingly away from her. Necessary? Perhaps. Smart? Most
definitely.
“Tell Renee I said hello,” I said as she opened up her mother's email.
“Sure thing.”
I'm sure it was impolite, but I couldn't help reading over her shoulder when my eyes drifted for a
second onto the screen and I saw Jacob's name. Renee was asking why Bella hadn't mentioned
him in awhile. I bit back the smile that immediately formed upon reading Bella's reply that she
didn't see him much, because he was spending time with “a pack of this friends.” Cute, Bella...

20
As she composed the rest of her reply, my eyes wandered around her room, and eventually
landed on a mess pouring out from her closet. I recognized the stereo my family had given her
last year, and was concerned that not only was it not in her truck where it belonged, but it also
appeared to have been quite thoroughly trampled.
“What did you do to this?” I gasped.
“It didn't want to come out of the dashboard.”
“So you felt the need to torture it?”
“You know how I am with tools. No pain was inflicted intentionally.” Though she was being
casual, something about her words pained me. Why had she been so desperate to get it out? Had
the sight of it really been too much for her to take?
“You killed it,” I sighed, a sharp wave of guilt crashing in on me as I tried to compose myself.
“Oh, well,” she said indifferently.
“It would hurt their feelings if they saw this. I guess it's a good thing that you've been on house
arrest. I'll have to get another one in place before they notice.” Of course I was sure Alice already
knew about the stereo massacre. I wondered why she hadn't said anything about it.
“Thanks, but I don't need a fancy stereo,” Bella argued.
“It's not for your sake that I'm going to replace it.”
Thinking about the lengths she'd gone through to get it out of her car, I knew she must be as
eager to forget everything related to her birthday as I was. I would have to make sure to get a
different model to replace it, one that looked nothing like the one that lay in a heap on her floor.
“You didn't get much good out of your birthday presents last year,” I said, trying to sound
nonchalant. I was suddenly nervous that she would refuse the tickets, simply because of where
they'd come from. Her heart jumped when she saw me casually waving the tickets, and I held my
breath waiting for her response. She looked like she'd been punched in the gut, and for a
moment, the whole plan felt ridiculous. Why didn't I just buy new tickets to Alaska?
“Do you realize these are about to expire?” I asked, still attempting to keep my voice light.
Maybe she would agree to use them if I told her how happy it would make my family. They had
been a gift, after all.
“No,” she replied, staring at the tickets with a worried expression. “I'd forgotten all about them,
actually.”
Having forgotten them is better than having destroyed them like the stereo. I took that as a good
sign.
“Well, we still have a little time. You've been liberated...and we have no plans this weekend, as
you refuse to go to the prom with me.” I smiled at the look of horror that crossed her face at the
mere mention of the word prom. It really was a miracle I'd managed to get her to there last year.
And not just get her there, but get her dancing and having a halfway decent time.
She still wasn't responding to my offer, so I added, “Why not celebrate your freedom this way?”
“By going to Florida?”
“You did say something about the continental U.S. being allowable.”
I didn't fully understand her expression. It was like she was being pulled in two different
directions. I knew a part of her wanted to see her mother, but it seemed as if she was fighting

21
against herself, unwilling to give in to my request. She hadn't asked about Alice's vision yet, but
I was sure it was too much to hope she had forgotten about it. Maybe she knew this was a
diversion and she was just being stubborn.
“Well?” I finally asked, growing somewhat frustrated. I didn't want to force her into anything,
but one way or another, we were leaving Forks this weekend. “Are we going to see Renee or
not?”
“Charlie will never allow it.”
“Charlie can't keep you from visiting your mother. She still has primary custody.”
“Nobody has custody of me. I'm an adult.”
A very good point, Bella, I thought wryly. “Exactly.”
Bella's eyes lit up momentarily, and I thought I might have convinced her. All thoughts of
Victoria aside, I had to admit I was a little anxious myself to see Renee again. The first and only
time we'd met had been in the hospital in Phoenix, and needless to say, I was not her favorite
person. Still, while she was obviously – and rightfully – upset with me for my part in Bella's
accident, she had listened while I'd explained exactly how important Bella was to me, and had
allowed me to stay in Bella's room without argument. Something told me Renee was a very
perceptive person, and she sensed the depths of my devotion to her daughter. I was looking
forward to cementing that idea in her mind, this time under far better circumstances.
I let myself grow excited and hopeful that Bella would agree to the trip as I stared deeply into her
eyes. Then, the flash of enthusiasm I'd seen on her face only moments before disappeared, and I
could almost hear her voice of reason kicking back in.
“No this weekend,” she sighed, clearly disappointed.
“Why not?”
“I don't want to fight with Charlie. Not so soon after he's forgiven me.”
If it was Charlie she was worried about, I felt certain I could take care of that problem. He
wouldn't have a problem with Bella visiting Renee, and if he objected to my going with her, I
would remind him that the tickets were a gift from Carlisle and Esme. They were given with the
intention that she and I would go together.
“I think this weekend is perfect,” I said calmly, ready to argue my point until she conceded.
There was no reason for her to put it off.
“Another time,” she insisted.
With a deep breath, I prepared myself to shamelessly use a very unfair tactic, one that I would
never use unless I was truly desperate. Guilt.
“You aren't the only one who's been trapped in this house, you know.”
She stared at me like she didn't believe the words coming out of my mouth – which meant she
was right on track, because they weren't true. I hadn't felt trapped at all. I loved spending time
with Bella and it didn't really matter to me where we were. Yes, it would have been nice to take
her out on a proper date now and then, but as long as she was content with us sitting on her bed,
talking, and holding each other, I would never for one second complain.
“You can go anywhere you want,” she finally said, sounding somewhat apologetic. Then I was
the one feeling guilty.

22
“The outside world holds no interest for me without you,” I assured her, not wanting her to feel
like she'd been keeping me prisoner. She rolled her eyes in disbelief. “I'm serious,” I promised.
If we were confined to her four walls for the rest of time, I wouldn't care because we'd be
together, and I instantly wished I'd never implied that I felt any differently.
“Let's take the outside world slowly, all right?” she asked, her posture relaxing slightly. “For
example, we could start with a movie in Port Angeles...”
Not far enough... I thought desperately.
“Never mind. We'll talk about it later,” I said, trying not to sound defeated. I didn't want to bring
it up with Charlie without her consent, but if I had to...
“There's nothing left to talk about,” she said flatly. When I simply shrugged, her expression
shifted. “Okay, then, new subject.” She now sounded determined, and the air of curiosity was
back on her face. “What did Alice see today at lunch?”
I fought the look of terror that was threatening to reveal how worried I really was. I'd known
from the moment I saw Victoria flash through Alice's mind, that if Bella came right out and
asked, I would hide the truth from her. I hated myself for even thinking about lying, but there
was no other choice. The only consolation I could offer myself, was knowing that as soon as the
danger had passed, I would confess the truth to her. She would be angry, I was certain of that,
but anger was better than fear. I refused to put Bella through any more trauma because of the
realities of my world.
“She's been seeing Jasper in a strange place, somewhere in the southwest, she thinks, near his
former...family. But he has no conscious intentions to go back. It's got her worried.”
I held firmly to my resolve, trying to remind myself of the necessity of the lie. When Bella
breathed a very relieved, “Oh,” I knew I'd made the right choice.
“Why didn't you tell me before?”
“I didn't realize you'd noticed,” I lied again, inwardly cringing. “It's probably nothing important,
in any case.”
Significantly more relaxed, Bella smiled and suggested we head downstairs to keep up
appearances. We worked on homework while we waited for Charlie to come home, stopping to
prepare dinner when Bella's calculus assignment got the better of her.
“Why is everything so easy for you?” she muttered as she threw her pencil down.
“Repeat high school a few dozen times and you'll understand,” I said with a sigh. Unexpectedly,
it made Bella grin.
“Planning on it,” she said cheerfully, and I silenced the growl I could feel building inside me.
Although I hated all the disgusting food smells, I offered to help Bella with dinner simply to be
closer to her. She laughed at me as I wrinkled my nose, pushing ingredients quickly away from
me and into the pot on the stove. The atmosphere was light and comfortable, and when Charlie
arrived, even he seemed to be in high spirits.
As usual, I let Bella and Charlie eat dinner together, retreating to the living room to supposedly
watch the news. At times, I could tell it struck Charlie as odd that I never ate with them, but he
appreciated the time alone with Bella so much, he never said anything about it.
I listened with a smile on my face as he complimented her cooking, and they talked about his day
at work. He told her he had talked to Billy, but there was no mention of Jacob so I allowed
23
myself to relax. That is, until he informed her that they'd both been invited to La Push for the
weekend.
“Huh,” Bella muttered noncommittally.
The logical side of my brain knew it wasn't the right moment. I told myself to wait until the
tension in the room had lifted, but as Charlie got up and headed toward the living room for his
nightly routine of falling asleep in front of the TV, I couldn't seem to stop myself.
“Charlie,” I said casually.
“Yeah?”
“Did Bella ever tell you that my parents gave her airplane tickets on her last birthday, so that she
could visit Renee?”
I heard Bella's heart start racing and she dropped the plate she'd been washing. It crashed to the
floor, but Charlie didn't even blink.
“Bella?” he asked, his eyes still glaring wildly at me.
“Yeah, they did,” she mumbled, her face turning red as Charlie turned to her in disbelief.
“No, she never mentioned it,” he said through gritted teeth, turning back toward me.
“Hmm.”
“Was there a reason you brought it up?” he asked icily.
“They're about to expire. I think it might hurt Esme's feelings if Bella doesn't use her gift. Not
that she'd say anything.”
Then it was Bella's turn to glare at me, her hand gripping the soapy sponge, frozen on the plate. I
could feel both of us holding our breath while Charlie deliberated.
“It's probably a good idea for you to visit your mom, Bella,” he finally said. “She'd love that. I'm
surprised you didn't say anything about this, though.”
“I forgot.”
His thoughts turned skeptical as he tried to sort out what we were keeping from him.
“You forgot that someone gave you plane tickets?”
“Mmm.”
Charlie's eyes turned back on me as the pieces started coming together.
“I noticed that you said they're about to expire, Edward. How many tickets did your parents give
her?”
“Just one for her...and one for me.”
At that, his face turned red, his eyes widened, and Bella dropped another plate. She didn't turn to
look at me, but I could hear how ragged her breathing was.
“That's out of the question!” Charlie screamed, and I struggled to keep my voice even. I knew
how much it would upset Bella to have to listen to Charlie and I fight.
“Why? You just said it was a good idea for her to see her mother.”
He turned back toward Bella and suddenly, he was yelling her, though she hadn't said a word.
“You're not going anywhere with him, young lady!”

24
This was exactly what she'd been afraid of, and I felt terrible for having caused it. It had hurt her
so much, having Charlie upset with her. They'd finally come to some sort of almost truce, and I'd
fueled the fire again the very next day. I expected to see tears when Bella turned around, but
instead I saw fury, and I was as taken aback as Charlie.
“I'm not a child, Dad. And I'm not grounded anymore, remember?” she spat.
“Oh yes, you are. Starting now.”
“For what?!” she shrieked.
“Because I said so.”
And because I knew Bella, I knew that was the moment Charlie had lost the argument. As angry
as Bella might be with me for having brought it up, it was nothing compared to the fire I saw in
her eyes at that statement.
“Do I need to remind you that I'm a legal adult, Charlie?”
He flinched slightly at the sound of Bella calling him by his first name. She was usually careful
to only do that when he wasn't around.
“This is my house – you follow my rules!” he screamed, only digging the hole deeper.
“If that's how you want it. Do you want me to move out tonight? Or can I have a few days to
pack?”
At the look on Charlie's face, I could see Bella turn instantly remorseful. She didn't want to hurt
him, and she certainly didn't want to move out. It was desperation on both they parts, a father
trying to protect his little girl, and the little girl fighting to be accepted as an adult. Eventually,
they would find a balance, but not tonight.
“I'll do my time without complaining when I've done something wrong, Dad, but I'm not going to
put up with your prejudices,” she said evenly.
Charlie muttered something unintelligible, and I could sense Bella starting to relax. She still
wasn't looking at me, and I wondered how much of her dissipated anger would later be coming
my way.
“Now, I know that you know that I have every right to see Mom for the weekend. You can't
honestly tell me you'd object to the plan if I was going with Alice or Angela.”
“Girls,” he muttered.
“Would it bother you if I took Jacob?”
I bit back my own rage at her words, although I figured she was only trying to make a point.
Charlie had made it very clear that rules I had to abide by would be waived for Jacob. Still, I
could feel my teeth grinding together and my hands unconsciously clenching into fists while I
waited for his answer.
“Yes. That would bother me,” Charlie answered, though it sounded like he didn't even believe
himself.
“You're a rotten liar, Dad.”
“Bella – ”
“It's not like I'm headed off to Vegas to be a showgirl or anything. I'm going to see Mom. She's
just as much my parental authority as you are.” He nearly scoffed at her, and her anger started to
show again. “Are you implying something about Mom's ability to look after me?”
25
At the same moment Charlie flinched, I could feel his thoughts start to give up the fight. He
knew there was nothing he could do to stop her from going, and he was suddenly feeling nervous
that she wouldn't come back if he didn't reign his temper in.
“You'd better hope I don't mention this to her,” she said coldly.
“You'd better not. I'm not happy about this, Bella.”
“There's no reason for you to be upset.”
They both seemed to sigh at the same moment, and I was suddenly struck by how much they
looked alike. The resemblance wasn't normally noticeable at all, but something about their
mutual acquiesce made them appear more like father and daughter than I'd ever seen.
“So my homework is done, your dinner is done,the dishes are done, and I'm not grounded,” she
said definitively. “I'm going out. I'll be back before ten-thirty.”
“Where are you going?” he asked, though I could tell he was only half expecting an answer.
“I'm not sure. I'll keep it within a ten-mile radius, though. Okay?”
Charlie mumbled something as Bella finally turned to meet my stare.
“We're going out?” I asked, hopeful but nervous as she glared at me.
“Yes. I think I'd like to speak to you alone.”
She turned around quickly, storming out the front door with me trailing miserably behind her. As
soon as we were in the car, I braced myself for the explosion.
“What was that?” she yelled. Instinctively, I used the only defense I felt would matter to her at
all – my concern for her. Though I couldn't tell her all the reasons, it was, in essence, what had
started the whole fiasco.
“I know you want to see your mother, Bella – you've been talking about her in your sleep.
Worrying actually.”
“I have?” she asked, her voice instantly softer.
“But, clearly, you were too much of a coward to deal with Charlie, so I interceded on your
behalf.” I was trying to keep it light, while still letting her know I was only looking out for her
best interests. It didn't seem to be the right approach.
“Interceded?” she repeated, angry again. “You threw me to the sharks!”
“I don't think you were in any danger,” I muttered sarcastically.
“I told you I didn't want to fight with Charlie.”
“Nobody said that you had to.” I'd actually been rather surprised, having expected Charlie to do
most of the lecturing. Yet somehow, the tables had turned, and Bella had held her own far better
than I'd expected.
“I can't help myself when he gets all bossy like that – my natural teenage instincts overpower
me,” she said defensively.
“Well, that's not my fault,” I laughed.
We sat in silence for a few moments while I replayed the evening in my mind. She'd stood up for
herself, and while she claimed it was just instinct taking over, I believed it was more than that.
All throughout Charlie's severe restrictions, Bella had been more compliant than I ever would
have imagined. She didn't complain or make Charlie feel guilty, probably because she felt her
26
punishment had been justified. She hated how worried she'd made him those days she was off
saving me in Italy, and whatever she needed to do to appease him and repair the damage that had
been done, she was more than willing. It was a selfless gesture, and I admired her for it.
But this time, she knew she'd done nothing wrong. There was nothing wrong with my wanting to
visit Renee with her, and that knowledge had made her fight for what she knew she deserved.
Although I'd hated to see them fight that way, in a way, I was completely flattered. Bella had
been angry with me for bringing the tickets up without her permission, but in the heat of the
moment, she'd still stood up for me and our right to be together.
We'd been quiet for such a long stretch of time, Bella's words jarred me back into consciousness.
“Does this sudden urge to see Florida have anything to do with the party at Billy's place?”
My body tensed. I'd been so relieved that Bella would be nowhere near Forks when Victoria
arrived, I'd forgotten all about that.
“Nothing at all,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm. “It wouldn't matter if you were here or on
the other side of the world, you still wouldn't be going.”
I could see her fists clench and it was clear she wanted to say something, but miraculously, she
chose to keep it to herself. I was just happy to avoid another argument involving the dogs.
“So what do you want to do tonight?” I asked, anxious to get her mind on other things.
“Can we go to your house? I haven't seen Esme in so long.”
“She'll like that,” I said, smiling warmly. “Especially when she hears what we're doing this
weekend.”
Bella let out a long sigh, and we drove the rest of the way in silence. I was a little nervous about
her current mood when we approached the house, and wondered if the whole evening was
beyond repair.
“Bella!” Alice cried, throwing her arms around her the second we were inside. I let out a sigh of
relief when Bella immediately relaxed. It seemed her frustrations with me were no match for the
welcoming arms of my family.
“How does it feel to be out in the real world again?”
“Since when is the vampire house considered part of the real world?” she teased. “I still feel like
I'm in a fairytale every time I come over.”
I rolled my eyes at her use of the word “fairytale.” Somehow, after everything she'd been
through because of me, she still regarded us as creatures of magic and fantasy, rather than the
monsters we were.
“Who all is home?” I asked, looking pointedly at Alice.
“Carlisle and Esme are upstairs,” she said cheerfully. And the others are making a quick circuit
around town for any signs of Victoria. She shouldn't be here for a couple of days, but we're
taking every precaution.
“Great,” I said, taking Bella's hand in mine. “Now, should we go share the news?”
“News?” Alice asked innocently.
“Oh right, Alice,” Bella teased. “Like you didn't already know we're going to Florida this
weekend. I suppose it shouldn't have surprised me that Edward had so much confidence tonight,
you probably already told him it was a sure thing.”

27
“I don't know anything until you decide it,” she said solemnly, but when Bella quirked an
eyebrow at her, she started giggling. “I did know how much you've been thinking about your
Mom lately, though, so I figured the chances were pretty good.”
Bella rolled her eyes as Carlisle and Esme came down the stairs.
“Bella, welcome,” Carlisle said, smiling at her warmly.
“It's lovely to see you again,” Esme added, reaching out to give her a hug.
“It's really nice to be back. I've missed you all so much.”
“Well, you're welcome any time,” Carlisle said, then glanced at me for a fraction of a second.
When are you two leaving?
I immediately turned to Esme, grinning widely.
“Esme, I thought you'd be pleased to hear Bella and I are finally making use of those plane
tickets from last year.”
“Oh that's wonderful. Is your mother excited, dear?”
“Well, actually I haven't even gotten the chance to tell her. It was kind of a spontaneous
decision.”
“We're leaving on Friday,” I added, and Carlisle nodded approvingly.
From what Alice saw, that should be plenty of time. Does Bella know what's happening?
I shook my head in the tiniest of gestures and he seemed relieved. While my family had always
believed in being honest with Bella about the dangers around her, I felt that in this instance, they
all agreed it was unnecessary to worry her. It would all be taken care of soon enough. Victoria
wasn't going to send us on the elaborate hunt that James had.
“Bella,” Alice said, motioning toward the kitchen. “Would you like something to eat? Even
though you haven't been around lately, we've kept things fully stocked.”
“No thank you. I just ate dinner with Charlie.”
“Dessert, maybe?”
I glanced at Alice's carefully fixed smile and saw she was trying to allow Carlisle and I a chance
to talk without Bella around.
“She won't give up,” I whispered to Bella. “You might as well take a few bites of something and
get it over with.”
Bella sighed and I gave her a quick kiss before following Alice to the kitchen. Esme joined them
a few moments later, and I realized how much she had truly missed Bella. As soon as they were
out of sight, I faced Carlisle.
“Are you guys going to be able to take care of this by the time we get back Sunday night?”
“I don't see why not. Alice saw her going directly to Bella's house. She's acting much more
straightforward than James was, and she's completely alone. Don't worry. Just keep Bella
distracted, and maybe try to have a little fun yourself.”
“Thanks.”
“Now, Alice mentioned earlier there was something Bella said that confused you. Was it
something you wanted to talk about?”

28
“Oh,” I said, having forgotten about it with our new concerns. “It's nothing really, just a mildly
irritating notion the wolves seem to have.”
“And what is that?”
“Apparently, they think we're the cause of their reappearance.”
“Do they really?” he asked, sounding more amused than I might have expected. “Well, I'll admit
it crossed my mind, though the timing makes it seem unlikely. They didn't show up until after we
left.”
“That's what I thought. Is it possible, though, that the change started when we arrived, and it
simply took that long for it to complete itself?”
“I suppose anything is possible. I don't know much about their kind. Fascinating species,
though.”
I rolled my eyes. It was just like Carlisle to see everything, even the most despicable, volatile of
creatures, as an interesting new learning experience.
“No, Alice, I promise it was delicious. I'm full, that's all.”
Bella was walking back toward me, Alice in full pout behind her.
“She barely ate two bites,” she sulked.
“Well maybe next time I'll have to bring her over before dinner, and you can play chef properly.”
Alice grinned, her spirits brightened, and led Bella and the rest of us into the living room. A few
minutes later, the rest of the family came home. Emmett and Rosalie said perfunctory hello's,
then retreated upstairs. I might have been more irritated at Rose, but she was obeying my wishes.
If you can't be nice, don't be here.
Alice and I played chess while Jasper and Bella talked. Admittedly, it still made me nervous
having them in such close proximity, but Jasper's guilt over the incident last year had made him
so overly cautious, it was nearly impossible to doubt his total control around her. He cared about
her too, and he'd spent so long feeling terrible about what had happened, I figured it was good
for them to finally get to talk.
Within minutes, Alice and my game was over. There simply wasn't any point in playing it out
once we both saw where it was going. Sighing, she surrendered her king, then pushed the board
toward Jasper and Bella.
“You two should play. At least Jasper won't be able to hear every move you're planning before
you make it,” she said indignantly.
After their game was over, we spent the rest of the evening talking and laughing, catching Bella
up on what she'd missed. Alice convinced me to play the piano for awhile, and as Bella sat
beside me, looking up at me lovingly, the rest of my family disappeared. When we realized they
were gone, we both laughed, remembering the first time they had not so subtly left us alone in
this very spot.
“They've missed you,” I said softly, reaching up to run my fingers through her hair. “I missed
you.”
“You see me every day,” she whispered, her breath catching slightly as I leaned in to give her a
soft kiss.
“But not here. Not in my home, where I can really be myself. You don't know how wonderful it
is for me to have you here. It makes the house complete.”
29
She blushed, looking down at her lap, and I kissed her forehead. I took a deep breath and let my
eyes shut, marveling at how perfect and content the moment was. It seemed impossible after all
that had happened over the past few hours, yet here we were, just as I wanted to be.
“I don't want to go,” she said, peeking up from under her lashes.
“But?”
“But Charlie and I have fought enough for one night, and I want to be back well before my
curfew so he doesn't think I'm pushing him simply to be defiant.”
“I understand,” I said, wrapping my arm around her shoulder as we stood up.
A few minutes later, we were back at her house. The lights were on, and I could hear Charlie's
mind wandering nervously. Of course I couldn't hear the exact words, but after a few moments, I
started to understand the context. With a smirk, I turned to Bella.
“You'd better not come inside,” she said sadly. “It will only make things worse.”
“His thoughts are relatively calm,” I said, trying to stifle my laughter.
“I'll see you later.”
A low chuckle escaped me, and I kissed the top of her head. “I'll be back when Charlie's
snoring.”
I watched her walk dismally to the door, probably awaiting another bout of Charlie's anger.
When she found out what was really on his mind, however, I had a feeling she might find herself
wishing for his anger instead.
It took everything in me to drive away, but given the nature of their discussion, eavesdropping
would have been beyond my normal level of intrusion. It was going to be embarrassing enough
without her finding out later that I'd listened in.
I thought about going home again, but decided my time would be better spent checking things
out around town. None of my family had found any signs of Victoria, but I knew I'd feel better
after I'd checked it out myself. I'd made almost a full loop when I felt my cell phone go off.
“I know you're having fun looking for vampire tracks, and I hate to interrupt,” Alice said, trying
a little too hard to sound casual. “But I need you to go check on Bella.”
“Why? What's wrong?” I asked frantically, already running in her direction.
“Nothing, I don't think. At least not yet. I figured with everything going on, you'd want me
keeping a close eye on her. Everything was fine until a moment ago, then I suddenly went blind.
You know what that means,” she said heavily.
I suppressed a low growl as my feet instinctively ran faster.
“Filthy wolves,” I muttered.
“Yes, they are that,” Alice agreed. If anyone was more infuriated by the wolves, it was Alice.
Nothing frustrated her more than not being able to use her ability.
“Is she still at the house?”
“I think so. I didn't see her leave, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Once she made the
choice to leave, everything disappeared. She could be down there right now for all I know.”
“Hold on, I'm almost to the house,” I said anxiously. A few seconds later, I saw her truck and felt
relief rush over me. “She's still here,” I breathed. “Thanks, Alice.”

30
“No problem. And by the way, let Bella know her choices effect me too. It was really unsettling,
seeing her simply disappear like that.”
“I'll let her know. Talk to you tomorrow.”
The phone went silent as I reached the driveway. Without another thought, I opened the hood of
her truck and removed the first vital item I saw. I shut it quietly then waited for Bella to come
out. Sure enough, a few minutes later, Bella was flying out the front door. Looking somewhat
guilty, she seemed to be checking over her shoulder every few steps, and when she finally
stumbled into the car, she breathed a sigh of relief. It broke my heart to think of her purposely
ignoring my warnings when my only concern was for her safety. It hurt even more to think of
how angry she would be with me in a few moments.
She made two attempts to start the engine before I made even the slightest movement.
“Gah!” she gasped, finally noticing me in the seat beside her. If I hadn't been so focused on the
situation at hand, it might have bothered me more that she hadn't noticed me right away. She
always seemed so aware of my presence.
“Alice called,” I explained, and in the darkness, I could see recognition flash in her eyes. “She
got nervous when your future rather abruptly disappeared five minutes ago.”
At this, her startled expression turned to one of absolute horror.
“Because she can't see the wolves, you know,” I clarified. “Had you forgotten that? When you
decide to mingle your fate with theirs, you disappear, too. You couldn't know that part, I realize
that. But can you understand why that might make me a little...anxious? Alice saw you
disappear, and she couldn't even tell if you'd come home or not. Your future got lost, just like
theirs.”
I understood that this must be confusing to Bella, and I wished I could explain exactly why it
happens, but it was a mystery to all of us.
“We're not sure why this is. Some natural defense they're born with?” It had been my first
inclination, but I'd eventually written it off as just another theory. “That doesn't seem entirely
likely, since I haven't had any trouble reading their thoughts. The Blacks' at least. Carlisle
theorizes that it's because their lives are so rules by their transformations. It's more an
involuntary reaction than a decision. Utterly unpredictable, and it changes everything about
them. In the instant when they shift from one form to the other, they don't really even exist. The
future can't hold them...”
I wondered if Bella was even still listening to me. I'd gotten so lost in my own thoughts. As
much as I hated to admit it, maybe Carlisle wasn't the only one with some sort of sick fascination
with the wolves.
Obviously, Bella was angry with me, and in many ways, I couldn't blame her. She didn't believe
the wolves were a threat, and thought I was being overprotective. She'd already proven earlier
with Charlie, that she hated when people treated her like a child, and I realized she would
probably see what I was doing as falling into that same category. It didn't matter, though. I would
accept her rage if it kept her safe.
“I'll put your car back together in time for school, in case you'd like to drive yourself,” I assured
her, hoping perhaps futilely, that she would forgive me as quickly as she'd seemed to forgive
Charlie. She climbed out of the truck without a word, eyes cold and staring straight ahead.

31
“Shut your window if you want me to stay away tonight. I'll understand,” I said softly, feeling
somewhat defeated as she shut the door.
The second she was out of sight, I raced around the side of her house and peered up at her
window. Not even a minute later, Bella appeared, and with one swift motion, slammed it shut.
My heart sank, though I'd expected nothing less. I was debating staying outside her room
anyway, reminiscent of the days when I'd watched her from afar. I would respect her wishes and
not go inside, but the thought of spending the night away from her was nearly unbearable.
I stared longingly up at her room, wishing there was a way to keep her safe that wouldn't make
her shut me out. Then, I saw her return, and I once again wished I could read her mind. Her
expression was a mixture of frustration and hurt, but despite whatever she was feeling, she took
the final step toward the window and opened it widely.
Excitement bubbled up inside, and I fought to remind myself she probably still needed time to
herself. I didn't doubt for a moment that she was still upset with me, and I didn't want to push her
too far too soon. I tried to convince myself it was better that I wait.
I almost made it to the count of ten before climbing up and pulling her into my arms.

32
Motives – EPOV
Our flight left an hour after school was out, ensuring we would arrive in Florida in the middle of
the night. When I made a joke about not needing sunscreen, Bella looked at me almost
apologetically and I wished I had kept my mouth shut. I asked Carlisle to drop us off since
Charlie was still only moderately okay with the situation, and I didn't want anything upsetting
Bella this weekend. It was a chance for her to get away for a couple of days, forget the stresses of
her upcoming graduation and all she felt that entailed. I reminded her as often as I could that
there was no hurry, and since we were talking about eternity, she needed to be completely sure,
but she always repeated the same thing – her mind was made up. Shortly after graduation, she
was determined to make Carlisle follow through with his promise.
Bella stared out the window dreamily for most of the flight, glancing occasionally at me with a
look of pure love in her eyes. I wasn't sure if it was the simple fact that we were getting away, or
that she was going to see her mother again, but it was the most at peace I'd seen her in a long
time.
Renee met us at the airport, and the moment she and Bella locked eyes, they squealed with
delight and ran toward each other. I watched in awed silence as they grinned and hugged, both
talking a mile and minute, probably not understanding a word the other was saying but not caring
because they were together. It was several minutes before either of them seemed to remember I
was there. Then, with a sheepish smile, Bella turned to me.
“Mom, you remember Edward,” she said tentatively. I could hear her holding her breath.
“So nice to see you again, Renee,” I said, using the fact that I was holding both Bella's and my
own bags as an excuse not to shake her hand. The last thing we needed was for her to jump at my
icy skin.
“Edward,” she said formally, nodding once at me.
I'd forgotten how interesting it was listening to Renee's thoughts. It was a jumble, much like
Charlie's was, but I could hear coherent words and phrases every so often, and was surprised at
how clear a picture it granted me.
Polite...clearly cares...too soon...seventeen.
It was as if Renee was in a constant battle with herself. She could sense how deeply I loved
Bella, but was also frightened by that very fact. She couldn't let go of the notion that falling in
love too young had no way of ending well. If only she knew how long I'd waited for Bella, and
how complete my devotion to her truly was.
“Phil's sorry he couldn't be here to greet you,” she said, turning back to Bella. “He has to be up at
the crack of dawn tomorrow, and he'll be working with the team all weekend, getting them ready
for the big game on Sunday.”
“That's fine. I'm sure we'll find some time to talk.”
“That would be nice. Maybe I can make everyone breakfast Sunday morning before he has to
head out.”
“Or you could let me cook,” Bella said, a little too enthusiastically. I held back a chuckle as I
thought of all the stories she'd told me about Renee's cooking.
“We'll see. For now, we'd better get you kids home. I'm sure you're both exhausted.”
It was a short car ride to Renee's house, but she and Bella managed to catch up fairly well. I'd
never heard Bella so talkative. It didn't escape my notice that Renee kept glancing back at me in
33
the rear view mirror. With so much of my time spent listening to people's thoughts and figuring
them out, it was an odd feeling, knowing she was working so hard to figure me out.
She noticed the way I watched Bella every second, and again she seemed to be arguing with
herself over whether it was endearing or cause for concern. When Bella felt my stare, she
reached back over her shoulder and I gave her hand a quick squeeze, enjoying the way her heart
sped up as soon as we touched. Renee's scrutiny only increased after the gesture, though her
voice remained even.
When we arrived, the two walked hand in hand inside while I carried our bags. Renee had made
up the couch for me, and Bella was shown to the guest room.
“Goodnight,” Bella said, glancing back at me longingly. That look didn't escape Renee's notice
either, and she eyed me cautiously as they headed upstairs.
A few minutes later, Renee came back down, and her mind was working overtime, debating how
much to say to me. I had to suppress a grin when I realized she was worried about me sneaking
up to Bella's room.
“I hope this is all right for you,” she said, glancing at the couch. “And I'm right upstairs if you
need anything else.”
Subtle...
“It's wonderful. Thank you for your hospitality.”
“No, thank you,” she said, her eyes instantly softening. “Thank you so much for bringing Bella
out here. I miss her every day.”
“I'll pass the thanks along to my parents. It was their idea, and I'm happy we were able to make
the trip. She misses you very much as well.”
“Really?” she asked, her voice almost shaking as she sat down beside me.
“Of course. She talks about you often.”
“That's good to hear. Every time she calls or emails me, all I really hear from her is how happy
she is. Obviously, that's what I want. That's the most important thing. It's just that it's still strange
for me, hearing that she's happy in the place I couldn't wait to get away from.”
She paused then, and I tried to listen to the path her mind had taken her on, but there were too
many conflicting emotions and thoughts.
“She didn't use to like Forks much either,” she finally continued.
“She probably never spent long enough there to really get to know anyone. She has a lot of
friends now, and she likes school.”
“And she has you.” It wasn't a question, but a simple statement of fact, as sure as if she'd told me
it rains a lot in the Northwest.
“Yes, Bella and I are very happy together. And my family absolutely adores her. She spends a lot
of time with Alice especially. It's fun to watch them together. Opposites in so many ways, yet
somehow the best of friends.”
“Yes, well, I'm glad to hear she's doing well.”
Be careful...slow down...too young...so kind...
The battle raged on for a few more moments, before she finally sighed and let her expression
relax into a smile.
34
“I'm sorry, I should let you sleep. I'll see you in the morning.”
Without another word, she stood up and walked quickly up the stairs. When I heard her door
shut, my own internal battle began as I decided whether or not to go to Bella. A part of me
wondered if she was expecting me to, though we had already decided to spend the two nights
there apart. While I had no doubt I could get to her soundlessly and unnoticed, I knew the idea
made Bella nervous, and it seemed smarter not to take the chance.
It was a very long night. I hadn't realized how much I'd come to depend on Bella's presence to
make the otherwise lonely, mundane hours pass by quickly. Early the next morning, I heard Phil
coming downstairs, so I closed my eyes and leaned back onto the couch.
Bringing the boyfriend home to meet Mom. It's a wonder she's not more of a wreck.
I inwardly smiled, watching him through half opened eyes as he made himself breakfast. He was
quiet and respectful, looking in my direction only once before heading out for his busy day. A
couple of hours after Phil left, a door opened upstairs. I sat up and stretched out my arms when I
heard the familiar sound of Bella's heartbeat. She was still rubbing at tired eyes as she entered
the living room, but as soon as she saw me, her face broke into a huge grin.
“Good morning,” I whispered as she curled up onto my lap.
“It is now,” she giggled, her arms wrapping around my neck as her face buried into my shoulder.
“I didn't realize how hard it would be to sleep without you.”
“Well, after tomorrow night, I'll do my best to make sure you never have to again.”
She didn't respond, and when I glanced down, I noticed the pout on her face.
“Are you rethinking our sleeping arrangements already?” I teased.
“Maybe,” she mumbled, and I felt her cheeks growing warmer.
“If you want me to come up tonight, all you have to do is ask.”
“I'll keep that in mind,” she said, nuzzling closer.
I smiled and stroked her hair, comforted by the fact that even one night apart felt like too much
to her. I felt exactly the same way. We sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying each others
company, until Bella sighed and started to pull away.
“I want to get breakfast started before Mom wakes up. That way, she has no choice but to accept
the offer.”
“And what will Renee say when I decline your gracious food offering?”
“Oh, well you will have already eaten, of course. My cooking is simply too delicious to resist,”
she teased.
I followed her into the kitchen and watched in fascination at the way she knew where everything
was.
“Mom is such a creature of comfort,” she said as she reached for the frying pan. “Different
house, yet everything is set up exactly how it was back home.”
“Do you think she misses Arizona?”
“You're asking me? You must have a much better idea than I do.”
“You'd be surprised,” I muttered, not really wanting to get into the mechanics of Renee's mind
with Bella. “Besides, that's not exactly what's at the forefront of her thoughts.”

35
She stopped in her tracks and looked at me wide eyed, her heart starting to race.
“Is she upset? Does she wish I had come alone? Is she going to lecture me like Charlie?”
“Hey,” I said, crossing the room instantly and pulling her into my arms again. “Don't worry
about it. She's fine. Just a little worried, that's all. She can tell how much we care about each
other, and she's afraid we're too young.”
“If only she knew,” she sighed, mirroring my earlier thoughts.
With a deep breath, Bella resumed breakfast, and as the scent started to waft through the house, I
could hear Renee stirring upstairs. I quickly detached myself from Bella and took a seat at the
table.
Shouldn't have...they're guests...so thoughtful...
“Good morning you two,” she said brightly. “I was going to cook, but it looks like you beat me
to it.”
“That's the idea,” Bella smiled. “Consider it a thanks for picking us up and letting us stay here.”
“You know you're welcome any time. It's just so good to see you again.”
She walked over and gave Bella another enormous hug, her mind suddenly racing through a
number of memories from Bella's childhood. Although it was little more than quick glimpses at
pieces of a large puzzle, I got a fairly clear impression of why Bella always said she felt like the
grown up in their relationship. Renee never kept her thoughts in one place for long, always
looking forward to the next exciting event. It was like nothing was ever able to hold her interest
for more than a few moments.
When breakfast was ready, they sat down at the table, Bella beside me and Renee across from us.
“Edward was really hungry so I him something earlier,” Bella said, smirking sideways at me,
“but I waited for you so we could eat together.”
“That's so sweet. And after breakfast, maybe I can take you into town.”
Bella's eyes darted to me for a moment before answering. I wouldn't be able to set foot outside,
and we weren't sure the excuse of my term paper would last the entire weekend.
“I'm still a little jet-lagged,” she said. “Do you think we could stay here today? Talk some more,
maybe watch a movie. It's good to finally be able to just relax.”
“Of course, sweetie. Whatever you want.”
Renee glanced over at me and I tried to momentarily divert my attention away from Bella. I
looked around the house and finally let my gaze wander back to Renee, who was still watching
me questioningly.
“Your house is lovely,” I said, smiling warmly. “How are you and Phil liking Florida so far?”
“It's hot, that's for sure, and a different kind of hot than Phoenix was. But we're really happy
here. How are things back home? Are you two getting excited for graduation?”
I heard Bella's heart jump, and she instinctively leaned in closer to me.
“There's definitely a lot to think about,” I said, taking Bella's hand underneath the table.
“But we're ready,” she added, giving my hand a firm squeeze.
Renee kept us engaged in near constant conversation, her mind still racing trying to figure out
how to fit months worth of not seeing Bella into the two days she had. She was always
36
exceptionally polite to me, though I continued to hear her warring thoughts and see her confused
glances. Phil came home late and completely exhausted, apologizing for having to make a hasty
retreat. He needed a shower and a good night's sleep before the big game Sunday. Bella smiled at
him sincerely, and I knew she was planning on getting up extra early to make sure breakfast was
ready before he had to leave. It would be the only real time she would get to spend with him.
Bella and I generally kept a respectable distance, but when evening came and Renee wished us
goodnight, I caught a very pointed look in my direction. It was nearly as obvious as the one Bella
gave me only moments later, telling me beyond any doubt that she'd decided it was worth the
risk.
As soon as I was sure Renee was asleep, I swiftly flew upstairs and into Bella's room. She was
beaming at me the moment I entered.
“Missed you,” she whispered as I crawled into the bed next to her. She leaned into me and laid
her head against my chest.
“Missed you, too,” I said, kissing the top of her head. “So, are you and Renee going out
tomorrow? I wouldn't want you to miss out on the sun entirely because of me.”
I was trying to keep it light, but she detected the hint of sadness in my voice. I hated that I wasn't
able to take her outside or walk along the beach with her, and I certainly didn't want her giving it
all up because she felt bad about leaving me behind. The day was coming far too soon when she
too would have to hide from the sun, and I couldn't stand to think of her missing out while she
could still be basking in it.
“Yeah, she's going to show me around town, and we might go down to the beach for a bit.”
“Please don't hurry on my account. I'm perfectly happy here. You two should have some time
alone together anyway.”
“I know. I just hate leaving you behind.”
“Bella, it's okay. I'm happy to see you so happy. That's all I care about.”
She snuggled closer to me, and I started to hum her lullaby. Within a few minutes, she was
drifting off to sleep, and I tried to fight the feelings of guilt over all the things I was taking away
from her.
I crept downstairs before the sun came up, and Bella joined me shortly after. By the time Phil
and Renee woke up, she'd prepared an elaborate breakfast which they all devoured, while I
pretended to already be hard at work on my supposed term paper. A couple of hours later, Bella
and Renee left for their day together. When Renee suggested I bring my paper down to the beach
to work on it there, I explained that the heat tended to give me a headache and I needed to
concentrate.
As soon as they were gone, I took out my cell phone and made the call I'd been both wanting to
make, and dreading since we'd arrived. It hadn't even rung once when I heard Alice's voice on
the other line.
“We almost had her, but she got away.”
“What?” I yelled. “How is that possible?”
“We don't entirely know. It was like she knew exactly where we were and what we were
planning. She knew where the boundary line was too, and she used it against us. Besides the fact
that as soon as we got near the wolves, I was effectively blind, there was a bit of an incident. The
pack had been tracking her as well, but when one of them thought Emmett had crossed the line,
37
he lunged at him, teeth bared, no thought whatsoever of the hunt that really mattered. Two of the
others jumped in front of him to stop the attack, but when Rosalie stepped in, ready to fight right
alongside Emmett, it only got them more worked up. Esme and I tried to pull Emmett and Rose
away, while Jasper and Carlisle calmed the pack down. Between Jasper's ability to make them
feel like we're all one big happy family, and Carlisle's voice of reason, the whole ordeal didn't
take more than a few moments. It didn't matter, though. Victoria was long gone.”
I took a deep breath and clenched my eyes shut, exasperated. “So what do we do now?”
“There's not much we can do. I don't see any sign of her returning right away, but we'll be
prepared in any case.”
“So you're sure she's nowhere near Forks?”
“It doesn't look like it. Are you two coming home tonight?”
“We have to. If I try to keep her here longer than we'd planned, she'll know something's wrong.”
“And you're still sure keeping this from her is the best idea?”
“Yes. There's no point in frightening her as long as we're sure there's no danger. She's lived
through enough trauma because of us as it is.”
“All right. But for the record, I think you should tell her. It was different when we thought
Victoria would be taken care of by now. But don't you think she deserves to know what's out
there?”
“She knows what's out there. All that matters now is that she never has to face any of it again.”
“Okay,” she sighed, obviously not convinced. “I'll see you tonight.”
My mind raced the rest of the day, and although I knew I was being ridiculous, I couldn't help
but worry about Bella. There was no reason to think Victoria could have somehow known we
were here, but after hearing how quickly she'd disappeared from Forks, all I wanted was for
Bella to be back in my arms again.
When they returned that afternoon, I went to give Bella a hug, and noticed she pulled away from
me almost instantly. She looked up into my eyes with the strangest expression, and glanced at
Renee who was busying herself in the kitchen, trying to give us a few moments together. When I
asked if anything was wrong, she shook her head and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, then
went to join Renee.
After they'd eaten dinner, Bella reluctantly went upstairs to pack her bag. Renee watched me
while her mind once again tried to figure me out. There was something softer now, more
accepting somehow in her thoughts, which was mirrored in her expression. She walked over and
sat down beside me on the couch while I too started gathering my things.
“She loves you,” she said simply, and I stopped to look her in the eyes.
“And I love her. More than anything.”
“Yes. I can see that. I may not understand exactly what it is you two have, but I trust Bella, and
she trusts you.”
Then, inexplicably, her mind became clearer than I'd ever seen it. She was imagining Bella older,
picturing her future. And I was unmistakably in it – beside her, loving her, protecting her. I
smiled as I realized Renee understood us a lot better than she was giving herself credit for.
“Promise me one thing,” she said softly, looking wistfully up toward Bella's room. “Take care of
her, and make sure she's always as happy as she is right now.”
38
“I will. For as long as she'll let me.”
She smiled, shaking her head as she laughed to herself. As hard as I tried to listen, her thoughts
had become hazy again. She seemed happy though, content, which gave me a peace of mind I
hadn't realized I'd been looking for.
Bella came downstairs with a sad smile on her face, and when Renee hugged her, they both had
tears in their eyes. The sun was starting to set as we drove to the airport, and after another round
of tearful hugs and goodbyes, Renee let Bella go and waved us off.
She didn't say much on the plane, and I watched the way her eyes kept following the horizon line
as we flew west toward the setting sun. Carlisle had brought the Volvo to the airport for us,
figuring we would want some time alone to talk. As I watched Bella from the corner of my eye, I
finally decided I couldn't take the silence anymore. Though I thought the weekend had gone
exceptionally well, I was worried that something had upset her.
“You've been very quiet,” I said softly. “Did the plane make you sick?”
“No, I'm okay.”
“Are you sad to leave?”
“More relieved than sad, I think.”
I looked at her skeptically. I knew she'd enjoyed the time with her mother, and Renee had been
much more accepting of our relationship than I think Bella had expected. What reason could she
have to be relieved it was over?
“Renee is so much more...perceptive than Charlie in some ways. It was making me jumpy,” she
explained.
I laughed, suddenly more than a little curious what Renee had said to her during their time alone.
When she'd spoken to me, it almost seemed like she was encouraging our relationship to
progress. It's not like I thought she was expecting an engagement or anything, but I was sure
from the glimpses I'd gotten, she knew Bella was my future, and I was hers.
“Your mother has a very interesting mind. Almost childlike, but very insightful. She sees things
differently than other people.”
Bella nodded as she considered this, then turned to look back out the window. Her eyes fluttered
closed and I heard her breathing slow, as she finally gave in to her exhaustion. I slowed down
slightly, enjoying watching the peaceful way she slept, and when we finally pulled into her
driveway, I wished I didn't have to wake her. At least it wouldn't be long before I could hold her,
and let her drift off gently again into a full night's sleep.
I slowly reached out to touch her cheek, not wanting to startle her. Her eyes squinted open and
she smiled as she focused on me. I kissed her forehead and whispered, “We're home, Sleeping
Beauty. Time to awake.”
As I reached into the back seat to get her bag, we both noticed the curtains move. Charlie was
trying to stay calm and not appear too anxious, but he was happy to have Bella home. A part of
him was worried that she might have found Florida too appealing, or missed her mother too
much. He couldn't stand the thought of her wanting to leave Forks behind the way Renee had.
Somewhere in the middle of his muddled thoughts, I caught something about Jacob, and I felt my
body tense.
“How bad?” Bella asked, misreading my sudden change in posture.

39
“Charlie's not going to be difficult. He missed you,” I said, trying to force myself to relax.
When we reached the door, Charlie was waiting with a wide, enthusiastic grin on his face.
“Welcome home, kid! How was Jacksonville?”
“Moist. And buggy.”
I could hear the relief as his worried thoughts eased.
“So Renee didn't sell you on the University of Florida?”
“She tried. But I'd rather drink water than inhale it.”
With an audible sigh, he turned to me and asked, “Did you have a nice time?”
“Yes. Renee was very hospitable,” I said politely, smiling – which always confused him.
“That's...um, good. Glad you had fun.”
With that, Charlie scooped Bella into a huge hug, laughing when she muttered, “Impressive.”
“I really missed you, Bella. The food around here sucks when you're gone.”
“I'll get on it,” she said, grinning as he released her. She was happy to be home too, and it wasn't
until that instant that I realized part of me had been as nervous as Charlie was that she would be
entranced by the Florida sun, wishing she could stay. I'd never stand in her way, and I'd spend
my life inside hiding from the sun if that's what she wanted. But I was glad to know she truly
considered Forks her home.
“Would you call Jacob first?” Charlie said, interrupting my moment of joy. He hadn't thought
about it since he'd first seen us pull up, and I'd allowed myself to forget it was coming. “He's
been bugging me every five minutes since six o'clock this morning. I promised I'd have you call
him before you even unpacked.”
“Jacob wants to talk to me?” Bella asked tentatively. I wished I hadn't heard the touch of
excitement in her voice.
“Pretty bad, I'd say. He wouldn't tell me what it was about – just said it was important.” The
words were barely out of his mouth before the phone rang, and I nearly growled. “That's him
again, I'd bet my next paycheck.”
“I got it,” Bella said, running toward the kitchen with me following nervously behind. “Hello?”
she asked expectantly.
“You're back,” I heard him say.
I put one hand around Bella's waist and listened to their short conversation. I didn't think even he
would be foolish enough to let something about Victoria slip, but I was waiting, ready to grab the
phone away at the first indication. It all felt simple enough, though I couldn't understand why he
wanted to make sure she was going to be at school the next day. Did he think I'd kidnapped her
or something?
I tried to ignore the way Bella's heart sped up slightly as she told him she was happy he'd called.
The hand that wasn't holding her clenched into a fist and I instinctively backed away so she
wouldn't feel my extreme tension. The conversation ended abruptly, and Bella was left with a
look of severe disappointment on her face.
“That was short,” she said dejectedly.
“Is everything all right?” I asked, feeling simultaneously relieved he hadn't said much, and
furious that he'd upset Bella.
40
“I don't know. I wonder what that was about.”
“Your guess is probably better than mine,” I said, smirking at her. The only time I had any idea
what he was thinking was when I had access to his mind, and thankfully, it had been a long time
since we'd been close enough for that.
“Mmm,” she mumbled, absently reaching for ingredients for dinner.
I watched her, once again trying to figure out her what her silent mind wouldn't tell me. Was she
simply worried about him, or did she really miss him? Was it nothing more than a friend looking
out for a friend, or were there unresolved feelings from the time I'd left her so broken, she'd
turned to the wolf for solace?
I was still staring at her, perplexed, when she stopped in her tracks. Her eyes widened, her breath
sped up, and the hamburger meat slipped from her hands. I closed the small gap between us,
catching and discarding it before pulling her into my arms.
“What's wrong?” I whispered nervously, but she merely shook her head.
After several very long minutes, I gently shook her, and asked, “Bella?” Her eyes were glazed
over as I stared into them.
“I think...I think he was checking,” she said quietly, her voice trembling. “Checking to make
sure. That I'm human, I mean.”
My body tightened and I felt a hiss building in my chest. The kid had a lot of nerve.
“We'll have to leave,” Bella said softly. “Before. So that it doesn't break the treaty. We won't
ever be able to come back.”
Her voice broke and I held her closer, willing her misery away. “I know,” I breathed, wishing for
anything that would give us more time – her love for Charlie, fear of breaking the treaty, even
unwillingness to hurt Jacob. Anything.
We were both so lost in our own minds, we didn't hear Charlie enter the kitchen.
“Ahem.”
Bella flinched away from me, face bright red. I leaned against the counter to give her space, and
as hard as I tried, I couldn't relax my expression. I focused down toward the floor and attempted
to calm myself down, not wanting Charlie to misread it as irritation with him.
“If you don't want to make dinner, I can call for a pizza,” he said.
“No, that's okay, I'm already started.”
“Okay,” he answered, leaning against the wall and staring at us intently. It was clear he wasn't
about to leave us alone again.
Using exhaustion from the trip as an excuse, I decided to make my exit. It was late, and I knew it
wouldn't be long before Bella would be asleep. I needed to make a quick run home to check in
with my family before joining her again. She started setting the table and, ignoring Charlie's
glare, I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and whispered, “I'll see you soon,” far too low for
Charlie to hear.
When I got home, of course Alice was waiting for me.
“How was your trip?” she asked casually as I rolled my eyes. I wasn't in the mood for small talk.
“It was lovely. Now, there's a more important matter at hand.”
“I've already told you, Victoria is nowhere near us.”
41
“It's actually not about that,” I said, my earlier irritation creeping back into my voice. “It seems
Jacob thought I was running Bella out of town to change her.”
“What?” she gaped, and her thoughts immediately turned sour. She hated that it was just one
more thing she hadn't seen coming.
“He'd been calling Charlie all weekend, and when he finally got to speak to Bella, the whole
conversation didn't even last five minutes. She thinks he was checking up on her.”
“What right does he have? Even if you had taken her away for that reason, it would have been
far away from Quileute land and he'd have no way of ever proving it.”
“I know. I think it's more that. He's...worried about her. He wanted to know she was okay.”
I felt some of my anger dissipate as I realized it probably wasn't all about the treaty to him. He
cared about Bella, in his own way, and I couldn't fault him for that. Still, I didn't want him
checking up on her every time she disappeared for a few days. With Victoria's whereabouts
unknown, it was entirely possible that we'd have to repeat our escape again in the near future.
After a few minutes, Carlisle and Esme came downstairs. They greeted me with smiles and hugs,
happy Bella and I had enjoyed our trip. The atmosphere was almost too light, considering the
reason for our departure. They all assured me, however, that there was no danger in the
immediate future, and the best thing I could do was to keep Bella calm – close, but calm – until
they could figure out a plan of action.
By the time I was on my way back to her, everything had started to feel nearly back to normal.
That was, until we got to school the next day.
Better get here soon. Don't want to be here any longer than I have to. Stupid bloodsuckers.
They're lucky Paul didn't take that big one out. Had every right to. Next time, we're not stopping
him. They step over the line, they're fair game.
I could hear Jacob's infuriated thoughts a few blocks before we reached the school, and my hands
clenched around the steering wheel.
“If I asked you to do something, would you trust me?” I asked Bella warily. It was obvious Jacob
would have no problem speaking bluntly in front of her, and I knew there was little I would be
able to do about it.
Her heartbeat accelerated as she took in my expression.
“That depends,” she said shakily.
“I was afraid you would say that.”
“What do you want me to do, Edward?”
“I want you to stay in the car.” As I parked the car, I glanced carefully around until I found him.
There was no way I'd be able to convince Bella to stay if she saw him, so I tried to keep her eyes
locked with mine. “I want you to wait here until I come back for you.”
“But...why?” she asked, her gaze breaking from mine as she surveyed the parking lot. “Oh,” she
finally breathed, and I knew the battle was lost. All I could do now was try to stop him from
saying the words out loud.
“You jumped to the wrong conclusion last night,” I told her solemnly. “He asked about school
because he knew that I would be where you were. He was looking for a safe place to talk to me.
A place with witnesses.”
She looked momentarily confused, but her expression quickly shifted into one of resolve.
42
“I'm not staying in the car.”
“Of course not,” I sighed. “Well, let's get this over with.”
We got out of the car and I wasted no time in reaching out to grab Bella's hand. I laced her
fingers through mine, ignoring the icy thoughts that were coming my way as Jacob glared openly
toward us. The thoughts of everyone around us were confused and nervous, with an occasional
touch of exhilaration, the way most high school kids responded when they sensed a fight could
break out at any moment.
I stopped walking when I was sure we were close enough to talk without anyone overhearing. I
gently moved Bella a step behind me, and set to work trying to stop Jacob from saying too much.
“You could have called us,” I said firmly.
“Sorry. I don't have any leeches on my speed dial.”
“You could have reached me at Bella's house, of course,” I said, smiling sincerely.
His face contorted, his jaw tightened, and I bit back the growl that was threatening to escape.
Being familiar with the irrational responses of werewolves, I reminded myself that it was my job
to keep him as calm as possible.
“This is hardly the place, Jacob. Could we discuss this later?”
“Sure, sure. I'll stop by your crypt after school. What's wrong with now?”
I glanced around pointedly at all the bystanders, listening carefully as they grew more and more
curious. It wasn't worth stirring suspicion, and Jacob knew it. He was just being stubborn.
“I already know what you came to say,” I said softly, a small grin playing at my mouth. Really,
we hadn't even needed to get out of the car. This could have been settled before it was started.
“Message delivered,” I said dryly. “Consider us warned.”
I chanced a quick look toward Bella who was still watching us worriedly.
“Warned?” she asked. “What are you talking about?”
Unbelievable, Jacob thought, his irritation growing. Won't even let her make up her own mind
who to be upset with.
“You didn't tell her?” he asked incredulously. “What, were you afraid she'd take our side?”
“Please drop it, Jacob,” I said calmly.
“Why?” You afraid she'll ditch you when she hears how it was your family who took it a few
steps too far? And how if it wasn't for that idiot brother of yours, Victoria might be a pile of
ashes by now?
“What don't I know?” Bella asked nervously. “Edward?”
You don't tell her, I will. All's fair...
“Jake?” she asked, turning to him. It took every ounce of strength in me not to scoop her up and
take off running. If it weren't for the growing number of witnesses staring at us, I don't think I
would have been able to stop myself.
Jacob smirked at me. You know she would have rather heard it from you, but I'm happy to
oblige.

43
“He didn't tell you that his big...brother crossed the line Saturday night?” he said, scrutinizing
Bella's reaction. Then, he turned back to me and he was scathing. “Paul was totally justified in –
”
“It was no-man's land!”
“Was not!”
I watched him closely for any sign he was losing control. No amount of bystanders would stop
me from getting Bella out of there if I thought for one moment he was about to phase. He seemed
to be calming himself down as Bella finally spoke, her voice terrified.
“Emmett and Paul? What happened? Were they fighting?” she asked, increasingly nervous with
every second that passed without an answer. “Why? Did Paul get hurt?”
“No one fought,” I whispered. “No one got hurt. Don't be anxious.”
You have got to be kidding me, Jacob suddenly thought, staring at me in disbelief.Well this is an
interesting twist. I get to be the barer of all sorts of good news today, don't I? I glared at him, but
he was long gone. He was enjoying the moment far too much.
“You didn't tell her anything at all, did you?” he said deliberately, piquing Bella's curiosity. “Is
that why you took her away? So she wouldn't know that – ?”
“Leave now,” I spat, wishing more than ever that we were alone and I could put him in his place
properly.
“Why haven't you told her?” he persisted unrelentingly.
I glared at him, more furious than I'd ever been with him. He was doing this out of spite. He
didn't care about how much it would upset Bella, only that it would get her angry with me. In the
midst of my fury, I could hear Bella's heart start to pound and her breath was coming in quick,
short gasps. I looked down at her wide, scared eyes just before she spoke.
“She came back for me.”
The fear in her eyes, the fear I'd worked so hard to shield her from, was increasing with every
second. I pulled her into me and softly touched her cheeks, willing her pain away.
“It's fine,” I whispered, desperately trying to look into her eyes, but they were glazed over and
distant. “It's fine. I'll never let her get close to you, it's fine,” I repeated. When she still wouldn't
look at me, I turned to stare at Jacob.
“Does that answer your question, mongrel?” I growled.
“You don't think Bella has a right to know? It's her life.”
“Why should she be frightened when she was never in danger?”
“Better frightened than lied to.” You may not agree with me, but Bella will. Just wait. I almost
wish I could be there to see it.
Bella's breathing started to steady, and I wiped the last of her tears away.
“Do you really think hurting her is better than protecting her?” I whispered, hating the way the
panic was still lingering in her eyes after the tears had stopped.
“She's tougher than you think. And she's been through worse.”
Without warning, all the bitter and sarcastic thoughts vanished from Jacob's mind, and I was left
with nothing but images of Bella. For a moment, I didn't understand what had caused his sudden
shift in thinking, but then I saw her lying on the ground in the woods. Her hair was tangled and
44
matted, her face twisted into a mask of pain, her eyes bloodshot, staring into nothingness. It felt
like a secondhand memory, one that Jacob had seen through the eyes of another, but that only
diluted it infinitesimally.
Then, I saw her with Jacob. She was so still, she might have been asleep, except that her eyes
were open. Open, but completely vacant. Image after image of that vacant stare followed,
sometimes accompanied by images of Bella wrapping her arms around herself like she was in
some kind of physical pain. It looked like she was gasping for air as she fought to keep her
composure. Nowhere in the sea of memories did I see the faintest glimpse of a smile. It was the
worst kind of torture, because it was exactly the kind of pain I was trying to protect her from, yet
I knew I had been the cause of every moment of it.
“That's funny,”Jacob laughed, finally releasing me from the torment of his memories.
“What are you doing to him?” Bella snapped angrily at Jacob.
“It's nothing, Bella,” I whispered. “Jacob just has a good memory, that's all.”
Another wave of images hit me just as I was recovering, and Jacob smiled viciously.
“Stop it!” Bella yelled. “Whatever you're doing.”
“Sure, if you want,” he said casually. “It's his own fault if he doesn't like the things I remember,
though.”
Then, I heard the school principal making his way toward us. He'd heard talk of some big kid no
one knew hanging around the parking lot.
“The principal's on his way to discourage loitering on school property,” I said softly. “Let's get to
English, Bella, so you're not involved.”
“Overprotective, isn't he?” Jacob said to Bella. “A little trouble makes life more fun. Let me
guess, you're not allowed to have fun, are you?”
“Shut up, Jake,” she snapped, but he was too amused to care.
“That sounds like a no. Hey, if you ever feel like having a life again, you could come see me.
I've still got your motorcycle in my garage.”
“You were supposed to sell that. You promised Charlie you would.”
“Yeah, right. Like I would do that. It belongs to you, not me. Anyway, I'll hold on to it until you
want it back.”
He was nearly smiling, all signs of anger completely gone as he looked at Bella. It was like he'd
completely forgotten why we were standing there, or that I was there at all for that matter.
“Jake...” Bella said softly, and he leaned in closer to her. I watched with dark curiosity at the way
she seemed to have such a calming effect on him. No wonder she'd never felt in danger around
him. He was much more carefully practiced than I would have expected.
“I think I might have been wrong before, you know, about not being able to be friends. Maybe
we could manage it, on my side of the line. Come see me.”
I forced myself not to flinch at the suggestion. Bella was already going to be upset enough,
without me reminding her for the hundredth time how unsafe it was to be in the company of
werewolves. Even if Jacob had managed to infuse me with some small amount of confidence that
he wouldn't cause her any physical harm, there was no way I was letting her anywhere near the
rest of the pack. Especially after what happened Saturday.

45
Bella glanced up at me before answering, and I kept my expression composed.
“I, er, don't know about that, Jake.”
“I miss you every day, Bella. It's not the same without you.”
I was stunned. There wasn't a single trace of a malicious thought in his mind, though he was
looking right at her, wrapped tightly in my arms. All I could hear was compassion, and a genuine
longing to be with her.
“I know and I'm sorry, Jake, I just...”
“I know,” he sighed, and in an instant, he was the person he'd been before. Jealous, angry with
me, and endlessly frustrated by the fact that Bella was no longer his in the way he'd once thought
of her. “Doesn't matter, right? I guess I'll survive or something. Who needs friends?”
I felt Bella's arms twitch toward him, but I couldn't make myself let her go. My need to protect
her was too strong. Yet somehow I knew it was no longer physical harm I was protecting her
from.
A moment later, we all heard the principal's voice coming up behind us, and we knew the
conversation was over.
“Okay, get to class. Move along, Mr. Crowley.”
“Get to school, Jake,” Bella whispered. I dropped my arms from around her, and took her hand
in mine.
“I mean it,” the principal continued. “Detention for anyone who's still standing here when I turn
around again. Ah, Mr. Cullen. Do we have a problem here?”
“Not at all, Mr. Greene. We were just on our way to class.”
“Excellent. I don't seem to recognize your friend,” he said, looking at Jacob. “Are you a new
student here?” Can't possibly be in high school. Come on, just leave. We don't need any trouble
today.
“Nope,” Jacob said, obviously enjoying the fact that he was making poor Mr. Greene nervous.
“Then I suggest you remove yourself from school property at once, young man, before I call the
police.”
Jacob and I both grinned as the same image came to us. Charlie would get a phone call that
somebody was causing a scene at the high school, and he'd come charging in only to see Jacob
standing there, laughing. While Jacob was sure he would shrug the whole thing off, I knew how
seriously Charlie took his job, and I couldn't help but think the incident would take Jacob's
approval rating down a notch. Maybe I should keep him here a little while longer...
“Yes, sir,” Jacob said with mock sincerity, saluting him before speeding away on his bike.
Disrespectful. Shouldn't have to put up with this nonsense...
“Mr. Cullen,” he said, directing his frustration back at me. “I expect you to ask your friend to
refrain from trespassing again.”
“He's no friend of mine, Mr. Greene, but I'll pass along the warning,” I said, smiling warmly at
him
Should have known. Not his fault. Never had any trouble before. Shouldn't have been rude.
“I see. If you're worried about any trouble, I'd be happy to – ”

46
“There's nothing to worry about, Mr. Greene. There won't be any trouble.”
“I hope that's correct. Well, then. On to class. You, too, Miss Swan.”
Bella's baffled expression didn't escape my notice as we walked to class hand in hand.
“Do you feel well enough to go to class?” I asked her softly. I knew she'd have an enormous
amount of questions, and while I wasn't in any hurry for the anger that would likely accompany
them, there was no point in putting it off and watching her sulk all day.
“Yes,” she said, gripping my hand a tighter.
Class had already started when we arrived, and Bella wasted no time getting to her questioning. I
nearly laughed when I saw her furiously scrawling a note to me. Was this really the best way to
discuss this? I read her note, in which she demanded that I tell her everything. Though it didn't
seem the ideal way to go about it, I decided if this was how she wanted to handle it, I would be
all too willing. She couldn't yell at me in the middle of class.
I explained that Alice had seen a vision of Victoria, but promised Florida had merely been a
precaution. I told her about the incident in La Push much the way Alice had explained it to me. It
was a misunderstanding, and no one got hurt. There was nothing for her to be concerned about.
Her eyebrows pulled together as she read, some hidden emotion upsetting her further, though I'd
tried to keep it as casual as possible. A moment later, she started writing again, and as soon as I
saw she was asking about Charlie, I shook my head. This wasn't about him, and Victoria was
being far too careful about not exposing her location to risk an attack on him.
I reached out for the paper so I could explain, but she was already scribbling again. When I saw,
Florida was a bad idea, I cringed, and quickly answered that there was no way I was sending her
there alone. Then, with a grin, I added, With your luck, not even the black box would survive.
Her eyes widened as her expression shifted again, and I was suddenly having more fun than I
probably should have been, given the circumstances.
So let's say my bad luck did crash the plane. What exactly were you going to do about it? she
wrote, eying me skeptically.
Why is the plane crashing?
The pilots are passed out drunk.
Easy. I'd fly the plane.
She glared down at the paper, and I chuckled under my breath as she started writing again.
Both engines have exploded and we're falling in a death spiral toward the earth.
I'd wait till we were close enough to the ground, get a good grip on you, kick out the wall, and
jump. Then I'd run you back to the scene of the accident, and we'd stumble around like the two
luckiest survivors in history.
Her eyes widened in surprise.
“What?” I whispered. It wasn't like it had come out of nowhere. She'd been nearly silent on the
plane, so I'd let my mind wander a bit. Maybe more than a bit.
“Nothing,” she mouthed, as she scratched out the words on the paper, replacing them with the
one sentence I'd been waiting for from the start.
You will tell me next time.

47
I met her stare again and wondered how long it would be until there was a next time. I knew she
was trying to be brave, and in a way I understood her desire to know what was coming. As
difficult as it was to think about telling her a vicious, out for revenge vampire was coming for
her, I knew she deserved better than to be lied to. After an endless stretch of time, I reluctantly
nodded, and she let out a long, slow breath she'd been holding.
First they walk in late, then I'm completely ignored...
I heard Mr. Berty's irate thoughts just as Bella was scribbling Thanks onto the page. I snatched
the paper from Bella and covered it with another, then quickly scrawled down notes on the poem
Mr. Berty had been reciting as he began his walk toward us.
“Is that something you'd like to share there, Mr. Cullen?”
“My notes?” I asked.
He looked down at the paper, baffled.
Could have sworn...getting too paranoid. Oh well.
He walked away and Bella rolled her eyes. I let a huge grin take over my face, happy the
conversation was over. At least for now.

Nature – EPOV
Bella's irritation with me regarding the Victoria incident seemed to dissipate over the next few
days. While I was thrilled to be back in her good graces, her change in mood wasn't entirely
without a downside. As her anger wavered, her anxiety grew. She tried to hide it from me, and I
knew there had never been a time when she was more thankful for my inability to read her
thoughts. There were signs, though. Signs that were hard to ignore.

48
At first, she acted as if the fact that she was once again being stalked by a deranged vampire was
nothing out of the ordinary – something to be expected even. She shrugged it off and went about
her days in a fairly normal manner. However, as the days passed, I sensed the subtle changes.
She was startled more easily by sudden sounds and movements, though there wouldn't likely be
such a prelude to the type of attack she was in danger of. She was restless at night, her breathing
more ragged and her speech more disjointed than usual. She never looked fully rested when she
awoke.
I'd also noticed she held me closer, both at night and during the day. I was certain it was an
unconscious gesture, so I didn't say anything. I was more than happy to give her whatever extra
feeling of security I could offer, and the last thing I wanted was for her to feel embarrassed about
needing it.
She'd done a fairly good job of hiding her fears from my family, with the exception of Jasper, of
course, who tried to make me feel better by assuring me she grew more relaxed and confident
when she was with us all. It was why I was completely stunned when Friday night, during one of
her evening visits, she declared very firmly that she believed it was a bad idea to remain human
any longer. All eyes turned abruptly to Bella. As a low growl escaped my chest, Alice flitted
casually to my side.
“A little warning would have been nice,” I muttered under my breath.
Don't worry. Nothing's going to happen tonight. She's just nervous, that's all. She'll listen to us, I
promise.
“There are seven of us, Bella. And with Alice on our side, I don't think Victoria's going to catch
us off guard,” Carlisle told her. Alice grinned smugly and went to Bella's side. “I think it's
important, for Charlie's sake, that we stick with the original plan.”
“We'd never allow anything to happen to you, sweetheart,” Esme added kindly, glancing toward
me for a moment. Her words were as much a promise to me as they were to Bella. “You know
that. Please don't be anxious.” Esme kissed her forehead lovingly and Bella blushed.
Your girl's pretty cute when she's all embarrassed, Emmett thought wryly, and I hissed nearly
inaudibly at him as he broke into quiet laughter.
“I'm really glad Edward didn't kill you,” he told Bella, still chuckling. “Everything's so much
more fun with you around.”
Oh yeah, this is how I wanted to spend my evening. Talking the human out of immortality again.
And I thought eternity was monotonous before. Rosalie was staring daggers at Emmett, who
seemed completely oblivious, still too amused by the whole conversation.
Bella turned pleadingly to Alice, probably hoping to exploit her obvious desire to have Bella be
an official member of the family, but Alice simply rolled her eyes.
“I'm offended. You're not honestly worried about this, are you?”
“If it's no big deal, then why did Edward drag me to Florida?” Bella turned to look at me, a hint
of frustration lurking behind her mostly composed exterior.
“Haven't you noticed yet, Bella, that Edward is just the teensiest bit prone to overreaction?”
I sighed indignantly. Overreaction indeed. None of them understood how hard it was to sit by
day after day and watch Bella, fragile and mortal, wondering what the next catastrophe would be.
They all had the luxury of virtually indestructible mates, and couldn't possible fathom what that
kind of fear felt like.
49
Relax Edward, Alice thought, staring at me pointedly. Or better yet, let's help Bella relax.
With a warm smile, Alice gripped Jasper's arm and whispered softly to him. He looked at me,
then at Bella, and gave Alice the tiniest of nods as he took a deep breath. Almost immediately, I
heard Bella's racing heart return to normal. A contented smile captured her face, and she turned
to me with nothing but love and trust in her eyes.
“You're safe with us, Bella,” Carlisle promised. “You are part of this family, and we will always
protect you, no matter what.”
She turned her gentle, relaxed stare toward Carlisle and thanked him as I took her hand in mine.
“See? There's nothing to worry about,” I whispered, kissing her cheek as my thumb traced circles
on the back of her hand.
A part of me wanted to keep her there and under Jasper's calming influence, but it was getting
late and I knew she needed to get home. We'd barely made it out of the driveway before Bella's
expression shifted back to one of anxiety.
“Bella, love, you're perfectly safe,” I told her before she could even get the words out. Her brow
pulled together as she looked over at me, and I smiled, bringing her hand up to kiss it. “I'm never
going to let anything happen to you. Alice is on constant guard. We'll know the moment Victoria
is planning to return. And next time, we won't let the wolves distract us from what's really
important. She will not get away from us again.”
I tried my best to keep the ire out of my voice as I thought about how close my family had been
to taking care of the problem. Deep down I knew it was a simple mistake, but I couldn't help but
blame the pack's temper for Victoria's escape.
“Still,” Bella whispered, her eyes glazed over as she stared nervously out the window, “it seems
ridiculous to put it off. We've already agreed my change is going to happen.” She didn't look at
me, probably because she knew what she would see. My teeth were clenched and my knuckles
were gripping the steering wheel. I would never accept her change as imminent the way she did.
Until her heart beat for the last time, I would hold onto her humanity and cherish it like the gift it
was.
“If you know you're safe,” I said, speaking as calmly as I could manage, “then there's no need to
rush into anything.”
“I know we said after graduation, but every day we wait is one more day we tempt fate,” she
argued, turning to look me in the eye.
“That's between you and Carlisle.” Then I thought of the only thing I knew for sure would end
the conversation. Smiling sincerely, I added, “Of course, you know that I'm willing to make it
between you and me at any time that you wish. You know my condition.”
I heard her heart jump and stutter as her eyes widened and returned to the window. Everyday
since we'd returned from Florida, I found myself thinking about my absurd proposal, and I
suddenly berated myself for bringing it up again. She deserved so much better, and I planned to
give it to her. Though the fear in her eyes at the very mention of marriage did shake my
confidence to some extent.
Would it really make a difference where or how I said it? Would it matter to her if I whisked her
away to our meadow and proposed underneath the glorious rays of the sun? Would she care that
it was my mother's ring I held in offering, the single tie I had to my human past and the only
object I deemed beautiful enough to place on her finger? Would my declaration of love and

50
eternal devotion silence her fears? I would give her all I had to give, yet I had no way of
knowing if it was enough.
It was with that thought that I parked the car and walked her to the front door. I could hear
Charlie pacing inside, though we were nowhere near her curfew.
“See you in a few minutes,” I whispered, kissing her softly before making my way around the
house to her window.
Bella and Charlie engaged in their normal evening smalltalk, and while he remained as oblivious
as usual, I could tell she was nervously rushing the conversation. Less than ten minutes had
passed before she yawned and said she was going to bed. She climbed the stairs with deliberately
heavy feet, and I laughed to myself at her theatrics.
Not quite ready to let her sleep, I settled into her rocking chair and waited for the door to open.
All signs of her earlier tension gone, she grinned widely at me as she quickly crossed the room
and came to sit in my lap. I rocked us silently while running my fingers through her silky hair
and she sighed into my shoulder. After a few minutes, she peeked up at me through her lashes,
and reached a finger out to trace the shadows under my eyes.
“I've been taking up too much of your time,” she whispered.
“Not possible,” I said firmly, kissing the top of her head.
“You've gone too long without hunting.”
“I'm fine. Don't worry about me.”
“You should have gone last weekend, but you were babysitting me,” she mumbled, pouting
slightly.
“I was taking you for a long overdue visit with your mother, and I was happy to do so.”
She looked at me skeptically and I rolled my eyes.
“If it would ease your worry, I'll go to the park for a few hours with Jasper and Emmett
tomorrow.”
She paused for a moment as if deciding something very important.
“Has Alice seen any sign of Victoria coming back to Forks?” she asked, a little more casually
than I would have expected.
“No, there's no indication she's anywhere near here.”
“Then it's settled. You're taking a real hunting trip tomorrow.”
“Bella, there's no need...”
“Yes, there is. It's been a long time since you've gone somewhere besides the park, and I know
you're tired of it. Besides, I've made up my mind, which means Alice has probably already told
the guys about it, and I'm sure they're both very excited.”
She looked at me defiantly, challenging me to argue with her logic. When I sighed and nodded,
she smiled triumphantly and resumed her position curled up against me.
“Thank you,” I finally breathed. I hugged her tightly to me, overcome by how loving and
understanding she was.
“For what?” she whispered, tracing her fingers up and down my chest.

51
“For knowing me so well. For understanding what I need when even I don't.” I leaned my face
down to kiss her, and she melted into my touch. “Thank you for being you.”
We held each other for a few more minutes, silent except for the sound of our breathing in
unison. When she yawned again, I knew it was time to let her sleep. I carried her to the bed, and
her arms never broke from around my neck. She scooted closer once we were laying down, and
closed her eyes when I started humming to her.
“The earlier I leave, the sooner I can come back to you,” I said softly, and she smiled into my
chest.
“Go have fun. Bag a few mountain lions for me.”
I laughed quietly as I resumed stroking her hair, and before long she was asleep. I listened to her
dream, happy to hear she seemed far more relaxed than she had all week. When she drifted off
into dreamless slumber, I carefully slid out from beneath her and wrapped her up in the quilt.
I glanced at a pile of stationary on her bedside table, and quickly scrolled a note for her.
Something to remind her that even when I was away, my heart was always with her.
I'll be back so soon you won't have time to miss me. Look after my heart – I've left it with you.
With a smile, I placed it on the pillow beside her, kissed her forehead softly, and left for what I
hoped would be a very short trip.
Back so soon? Alice teased when I returned home. I can't imagine why.
“Cute,” I muttered as she gleefully bounded toward me. “I assume you've already informed
Emmett and Jasper about the trip.”
“Of course.”
“It's making me really nervous, the idea of being so far out of town.”
“This is a good thing. Bella's obviously not so worried that she's afraid to let you leave.”
“I wish I didn't have to.”
“I know, and Bella knows that too. But she also knows this is something you need, and she's
more than happy to let you have some fun in the process. She's still somewhat amused, I'd even
say fascinated, by the idea of you hunting,” she smiled.
“And that doesn't bother you at all?” I asked incredulously.
“No. I think it's sweet. She loves you, and this is just another part of who you are.” And who
she'll soon be.
It hadn't been intentional, that's simply how Alice thinks, but I growled at her nevertheless.
“Whoa, don't let the animal out quite yet. Save it for the grizzlies,” Emmett said, smirking as
came down the stairs. I ignored him, still glaring at Alice.
“Sorry,” she mumbled, and I nodded with a deep sigh.
“You'll stay close by in case anything changes?” I asked her.
“Yes, I promise. And if she starts concocting more plans to visit the wolves, I'll take out another
piece of her car.”
“Thanks,” I said, then turned to Emmett. “Is Jasper ready to go?”
“He actually took off about an hour ago. He dared us to catch up with him,” he added with a
snicker.
52
A huge grin broke out across my face, momentarily pushing my fears aside. “It's been awhile
since I've run at full speed. You up for the challenge?”
“Always,” he said, taking off without another word.
Alice smiled at me and gave my hand a quick squeeze. “Have fun, and try not to worry too
much.”
“I'll try.”
“Now hurry up, Emmett's probably halfway across town by now.”
“Ha! I'm just hanging back so I don't crush his ego too soon,” I teased, and Alice flitted out of
the room. I took another deep breath and darted out the back door, the speed and exhilaration
hitting me almost instantly.
It wasn't long before I caught up with Emmett, and it was tempting to keep up my current speed
and leave him behind. The surge of excitement as the trees blurred into a sea of green was
wonderful, and it served to distract me – a welcome relief, even if only for a moment.
No need to show off, Emmett thought as I raced past him. The girlfriend's not here to watch.
Distraction gone. Thanks a lot, Emmett.
“I'm not showing off,” I said, slowly my pace slightly. “It just feels good to be out again. For the
first time in quite awhile, I wasn't thinking about anything at all.”
Hmm, Edward finally not over thinking everything. Please, don't let me hold you back. I'll catch
up.
“No, it's fine. The moment's lost anyway.”
We ran the rest of the way side by side, and in relative silence. Emmett tried to keep his mind on
mundane things, then focused in on the hunt as we grew closer to our favorite spot. When we
were about fifty miles away, we saw Jasper in the distance. Emmett and I smiled sideways at
each other, and picked up our pace to an all out sprint, tackling Jasper a few moments later.
“Took you guys long enough,” he said sarcastically as we all continued our run. “I was starting
to think I was going to have the pick of the whole forest.”
“Don't you think Edward should have first choice?” Emmett said, smirking at me. “After all, he's
been cooped up in Forks longer than either of us.”
“I'm not sure if self-exile gives him any special rights,” Jasper said with a grin, and I lunged at
him again. Just as he was jumping out of the way, we all stopped in our tracks. We could smell
blood, and it was close. Suddenly, all the playful banter disappeared, and I could feel all of us
tense in anticipation.
My jaw tightened as we took off in separate directions, each in search of our own favorite prey.
It wasn't long before I'd come across a pair of mountain lions. Even with all the adrenaline and
my senses focused on the kill, I felt a smile pull at my mouth as I remembered Bella's parting
words to me. Her casual acceptance of my way of life, unbelievable as it may be, truly was a gift.
It was with that thought that I attacked the smaller of the animals, the larger one taking off
immediately. I saw that he was fast, and excitement welled up in me once again as I thought
about the chase that would follow.
When I'd finished the first, I sprinted after the second, finding him in minutes. Feeling greedy, I
found a third only miles away, and gorged myself as I hadn't been able to so for so long. All
conscious thought escaped me until I heard Emmett chuckle from behind me.
53
“And they say I'm insatiable.”
I took one final draw of blood, pushing the carcass aside as he walked over to me.
“Where's Jasper?”
“Oh, he's having a bit more fun than he should be. I'm pretty sure he's done hunting for the
moment, but he was scaring a herd of elk last I saw.”
“And you?”
“Grizzlies galore,” he smiled. I attempted to return his enthusiasm, but with the thrill of the hunt
no longer occupying my every thought, I found myself growing nervous again.
“Okay,” he said, watching me curiously, “you just took down two mountain lions... ”
“Three,” I corrected.
“Fine, three, and you still look stressed. What's going on?”
I hesitated, wondering how much to say. I didn't want to burden him, although clearly he was
already seeing right through me. I shrugged and tried to infuse my tone with a level of
composure. “It's difficult to be away from Bella.”
“Alice is keeping a close watch on her. And Carlisle and Esme are there too, looking out for her.
You've got to relax.”
“It's not only that, though.” I took a breath and when I spoke again, I found my words were
pouring out, fast and unstoppable. “Ever since she and Carlisle made their little arrangement, my
whole perception of our relationship has changed. I can never just be with her, because I'm
always aware that each minute we spend together is counting down to the end. It's like each one
of her breaths are numbered. Every heartbeat is special, because I know they're running out. I
don't want to be away from her, because every second I am means there's something I'm
missing.”
He stared at me for an endless moment, his thoughts jumping around from sympathy to
confusion to frustration. Finally, he shook his head.
“I wish you wouldn't talk about her like she's dying.”
I scoffed, glaring at him icily.
“Okay, yes, technically she is. But it's not like it's really the end. This is only the beginning. You
two are going to have eternity together. I know you wish there was another way, but honestly,
sometimes I don't understand what you're so upset about. Being with her forever is what you
want. And Bella wants that, too.”
“I know she does, but still...”
“No,” he interrupted. “There's no but. You have to let her make her own choices. And she's
chosen you.” He paused for a moment, letting his words sink in. When I made no attempt to
argue, he smiled and continued. “Besides, the whole family has accepted her and welcomed her
in. Well, almost the whole family,” he added under his breath. I cringed, but made myself ask the
question which I was fairly confident I already knew the answer to.
“Does Rose...talk about Bella a lot?” I asked warily.
“If by talk you mean complain, then yes. All the time.”

54
“I know she has her reasons, but I wish she could find a way to at least be civil. Her thoughts can
be pretty vicious, and it's hard to listen to her constant sarcasm and negativity when Bella comes
over, and even worse to wonder what she's saying and thinking when we're not around.”
“You can't let it get to you. All of us love Bella, and she's as much a part of our family as if
Carlisle had already changed her.” He watched me cautiously as I shuddered, then quickly
continued. “Even with Rose, you've got to know it's not really anything personal. She just doesn't
agree with the choice Bella is making.”
“Neither do I,” I growled, unable to hold it in.
“Then you of all people should understand,” he said with more sincerity than I'd ever heard. “In
her own strange way, Rose is trying to protect her. She doesn't want her to make a choice that
can't be undone, and regret it for all eternity. Because she doesn't think there's anything she can
do to stop her, she gets frustrated, and that comes out as anger toward Bella. That's the simplest
explanation I can give you. Well, that and the fact that she thinks you're a complete moron. But
you probably hear that all the time,” he added wryly.
“Yeah, she's not exactly subtle.” I shook my head, frustrated. “Do you think she's every going to
get over it? Will she ever accept Bella, even if she can't accept the choice she's making?”
“Alice seems to think so. But as Rose has no immediate plans to start calling Bella 'dear little
sister,' I think it's probably just Alice's unbridled optimism.”
“Comforting,” I mumbled.
“What are brothers for?”
We sat quietly, both lost in our own thoughts about the future. As we waited for Jasper to finish
whatever game he was playing with the wildlife, another anxious feeling started to creep over
me. Something felt wrong, and I suddenly wished Alice was there to assure me things were still
okay back home.
“What's up?” Emmett asked, quirking an eyebrow at me.
“Something's not right. I should go back.”
“Edward, you're being paranoid again. Alice told me not to let you freak out.”
“I'm not freaking out. I'm just...I need to go.”
“Hey Jazz,” he called dramatically, staring at me with patronizing eyes. “Hunting trip's been cut
short. Edward misses his girlfriend.”
“Very mature,” I muttered. “And I never said you two had to leave. You should stay. I was
finished anyway.”
“Sure you were,” he said sarcastically. “Okay, we'll stay. But if I were you, I'd take my time
getting home. You know Alice is going to give you a hard time about this. Have fun with that, by
the way.”
“Yeah, thanks,” I said, rolling my eyes.
Just as he was trying to convince me to stay a little longer and join him for a duel attack, my cell
phone went off. I looked down at it, feeling another swell of nerves when I saw Alice's name.
“What's wrong?” I answered.
“She disappeared again,” she said, her voice shaking. “I thought she understood that the moment
she crosses paths with those animals...”

55
“She's with the wolves?” I screamed, my thoughts racing at the trouble she could already be in.
Emmett's eyes widened, and he nodded in understanding as I took off running.
“I didn't see her leave, but it's the only explanation,” Alice continued as the trees blurred into a
sea of green. “It must not have been premeditated, though. It all happened so fast. One second
she was at work and the next, there was nothing. I went straight to Newton's, and they said she'd
been given the day off. I went by her house and the truck was gone. She's down there, Edward,
and neither one of us can do a thing about it.”
“Why didn't you call me right away?” I asked desperately.
“I hoped I could catch her before she crossed the line. I'm so sorry.”
I felt myself start to shake, fear taking over. She didn't have a cell phone so I couldn't call her,
Alice couldn't see her, and neither of us could cross the boundary line to go get her. For a
moment, I actually considered asking Charlie if he had any immediate plans to go visit Billy.
Then I cringed as I realized Bella and Jacob weren't likely to be spending their day of freedom
with Billy.
As I tried to picture what they were probably doing, each image grew progressively darker. A
walk on the beach – that should be safe enough. Hanging out in his garage – it might bring back
memories of the times they'd spent together when I'd been gone, but otherwise harmless. Riding
their motorcycles – dangerous, although I knew she'd ridden before and Jacob had managed to
keep her safe. Visiting with his friends – that's where my panic kicked in. Especially given the
recent incident with the pack and my family, I couldn't be sure that one of them wouldn't see
Bella as a threat, one of the enemies. The mere sight of her could ignite their rage and cloud their
judgment.
“Alice, will you wait at the boundary line until I get home?”
“Of course, I'm on my way now. I'll take your car so it will be there for you when you get back.”
“Thanks. Let me know if you see any sign of her coming home.”
“I will. And Edward, she's going to be okay.”
“I know,” I said, wishing I really believed it. “She has to be.”
“I'll see you soon?” she asked when I trailed off into silence.
“Yeah, I'll be there as soon as I can.”
I ran faster than I'd ever run before, and tried without success not to think about what I was
running toward. Before I knew it, I was back in Forks, and the reality of the situation truly set in.
As I neared the boundary line, I saw Alice leaning up against the Volvo, her eyes clenched shut
in deep concentration. I slowed down to a stop and waited for her to look at me. When she did,
her eyes were strained and troubled. I felt instantly guilty, realizing how difficult it was for her,
trying to watch for things she couldn't see.
“I'm sorry,” she said, frustrated and miserable.
“It's okay, I'm here now. Thanks for staying.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Wait, I guess. What else can I do?”
“If you're all right here...” she started, still watching me apologetically.
“Yes, you should go home. I know how hard this is for you.”

56
“Thanks,” she smiled. “I'll call you if anything changes.”
There was only one road from Forks down to La Push, and I sat right on the other side of the
line, staring intently at it and silently pleading for Bella to hear me. Couldn't she feel what she
was doing to me?
As hard as I tried, I couldn't stop my mind from assuming the worst. One of those beasts could
have phased the moment they saw her – the girl in love with the vampire, part of the family
whom they believed was the reason they'd been condemned to their fate.
I tried to remind myself that at least Jacob was remarkably in control for one so new to the
existence, and the nature of his thoughts had showed me he truly believed Bella would always be
safe with himself and the pack. But while he would always work to portray them as the heroes in
this story, hints of the darker truth – what even he knew they were capable of – had a way of
creeping in, and they solidified my fears.
Time seemed to stand still as I sat, waiting, wondering...

Switzerland – EPOV
I sat in my car, eyes fixed on the small road leading out of La Push. Time seemed to stand still. If
she knew what she was doing to me, surely Bella wouldn't have pulled such a ridiculous stunt.
Alice had told me it must have been a snap decision, in order for her to have disappeared so
quickly. She wasn't thinking about me and all the times I'd warned her of the danger. She hadn't
thought about how every moment I couldn't know whether or not she was safe ate away at my
sanity. She'd left on a whim. She'd left to be with him...
Although I'd tried to deny it, in that moment, I realized I was in fact feeling the unsettling
twinges of jealousy. I'd been trying to convince myself the only reason I didn't want her visiting
La Push was her safety, and of course that was my primary concern, but as the seconds ticked by,
I had to admit, at least to myself, that there was another emotion toying with me. Perhaps Bella
didn't understand the full extent to which it tormented me when she went to where I couldn't
protect her, but I was certain she had a vague idea. And in the end, her running away at the first
opportunity made me wonder what kind of pull Jacob had over her. How desperately did she
want to be with him that she could so callously cast my feelings aside, and put me through this
misery?
The longer I sat, the harder it was to remember why it was necessary for me to simply wait. The
sun blazing overhead was a fortunate reminder that waiting in the car was my only real option. If
it had been nighttime, it would have been all too easy to convince myself that I could remain
hidden – run to her, and watch from a distance, knowing I was close enough to intervene should
it become necessary.
With each minute that passed, I grew more panicked, and eventually I began foolishly bargaining
with myself.
If she's not back by the time the sun sets, I'm going to find her, treaty or not.
Such a dangerous place for my mind to go, and it was getting worse every minute. I could feel
my resolve wavering as I stared at the empty road, helpless.
Why wait for sundown? It's not like I have anything to hide. The wolves know what I am. If she's
not back in an hour, I'm going after her.

57
Thankfully, as foot twitched toward the gas pedal, I head the familiar roar of Bella's engine. The
relief that washed over me as she came into view trumped any feelings of jealously that had
managed to creep in. All that mattered was that she was safe.
She'd always made it clear how aware of my presence she was, so admittedly, I was expecting
her to see me right away and pull over. I was dumbfounded when her truck turned onto the road
leading back to Forks, and I suddenly wondered if she'd seen me and chosen not to stop. I knew
that my protective nature, and what she would consider unwarranted worry, often frustrated her.
Though I didn't want to believe it, the unfalteringly steady speed she maintained all the way back
into town only made me feel more certain she was avoiding me.
I stared into her rear view mirror, wishing she would glance back at me. I longed to see her eyes,
needed to get some idea of what she was thinking and feeling. Frustrated yet again by her ever
silent mind, it felt cruel for her to keep her gaze from me as well. Her eyes were often the only
window I had into her thoughts, and she was keeping that window closed to me in this of all
moments.
Her truck passed the turnoff to her house without slowing, and for a moment, I wondered if she
was heading toward my house. A few blocks later, she pulled up next to the curb in front of a
house I didn't recognize. Bella had been talking about her plans to help Angela with graduation
announcements, so I assumed it was the Weber residence. As I drove past her parked truck, I
tried unsuccessfully to convince myself she was merely keeping a promise to a friend, rather than
purposely putting off talking to me. Still, as her eyes stared stubbornly downward, I couldn't help
but feel her avoidance. It took everything in me to keep driving, but now that her safety was no
longer a concern, I knew I didn't have the right to force her company.
I would check in with Alice, though of course she would already know Bella was safely back
over the line. Then, I would wait for her to come home. If Bella asked me to leave, I would
comply, but I hoped that being back within the comfort of her home, she would be willing to
listen with an open mind, and she would finally understand why I couldn't allow her safety to be
put at risk again.
Even I didn't believe it could ever be that simple.
I stood in the growing darkness of her room for what seemed like hours. I lost track of time,
though I noticed the sun was beginning to set by the time I heard her truck roar to a stop outside.
I forced myself not to listen to her conversation with Charlie, though somehow Jacob's name
managed to pierce through my determined wall. My teeth clenched as the earlier feelings of
jealously once again took hold. It was ridiculous, and I hated myself for allowing such a juvenile
response, yet I couldn't stop the train of thought. Why, if she was as happy with me as she said
she was, couldn't she seem to let him go?
Though I'd been worried Bella would be the irrational one, the longer I waited for her to come
upstairs, the less rational my own thoughts became. The realization of what I'd almost done
because of her rash decision came crashing in on me, and by the time Bella finally entered her
room and looked me in the eye, it was all I could think about. She didn't take my concerns
seriously, she'd chosen her own desire to visit Jacob over listening to my pleas against it, and it
had nearly made me break the treaty my family had spent decades upholding.
“Hi,” she whispered, and amid my staggering, racing thoughts, I couldn't find my voice to
answer her.
“Er...so, I'm still alive,” she continued, and I felt a growl boil up at her attempt at nonchalance.
“No harm done,” she added, shrugging casually.
58
Unfortunately, the moment she spoke the words, my overactive imagination pictured all the harm
that could have been done. My eyes shut tightly and I watched my worst fears behind my
eyelids.
“Bella,” I said, desperate to find my way out of the nightmare and back into the present. “Do you
have any idea how close I came to crossing the line today? To breaking the treaty and coming
after you? Do you know what that would have meant?”
I heard her take in a sharp breath and I forced my gaze upon her again.
“You can't!” she gasped, her eyes panicked. “Edward, they'd use any excuse for a fight. They'd
love that. You can't ever break the rules!”
“Maybe they aren't the only ones who would enjoy a fight,” I spat, suddenly bombarded with
images of finally getting to show those monsters what they were up against. They had no idea. If
Jacob or any of those cretins he called friends ever caused her any harm...
“Don't you start,” she said, breaking me from my thoughts. “You made the treaty – you stick to
it.”
“If he'd hurt you – “I started, but she wasn't in any mood to hear it. And honestly, I didn't really
want to think about it any more myself.
“Enough! There's nothing to worry about. Jacob isn't dangerous.”
“Bella,” I said, rolling my eyes at her absurdity. She had no concept of danger when it came to
her life. Countless afternoons spent in a house full of vampires, hunted by one who wants
revenge, gallivanting with werewolves – just another day, nothing worth worrying about. “You
aren't exactly the best judge of what is or isn't dangerous,” I added dryly.
“I know I don't have to worry about Jake. And neither do you.”
I felt my jaw tighten at the finality of her statement. It felt like it would never end. She was
determined that there was no danger in her spending time with him, and she wasn't going to stop
trying to convince me. Whether it was simply because she wanted to be able to spend time with
him, or because she genuinely wanted me to accept him I couldn't be sure.
As Bella eyed me cautiously from across the room, I realized neither one of us had made any
motion to move toward each other. Normally, she was in my arms within seconds of closing her
door, and I suddenly felt pain – a longing, deep inside at the distance between us. It wasn't just
the physical distance either, but the chasm the seemed to have opened up between us from the
argument that appeared to have no solution.
As if feeling the distance as implicitly as I did in that moment, Bella began walking toward me,
her eyes never leaving mine. Without a word, she pulled me into her embrace. It spoke volumes
to how much the day had distressed me that I didn't immediately return the gesture, but
somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered if I would hold her too tightly, hurt her
inadvertently from my desire to never let go.
The last rays of sun were pouring through her window, casting an ethereal glow that almost
started to ease my concerns. In the sanctuary of her room, it was easier to push my fears aside.
Still, the tighter she held me, the more I was reminded of my role as her protector. Why couldn't
she let me play my part? I wished I could make her understand that when she took herself to
where I could no longer watch over her, I was helpless and without purpose.
“I'm sorry I made you anxious,” she said softly.

59
I felt my tension ease slightly with the sincerity of her tone. No longer able to stand the
emptiness I felt not having her in my arms, I pulled her close and let myself breathe her in.
“Anxious is a bit of an understatement. It was a very long day.”
“You weren't supposed to know about it. I thought you'd be hunting longer.”
I noticed her concerned glance up toward my eyes, and my short hunting trip suddenly felt like it
had been much longer ago than the early hours of that morning. She'd been right before. It had
been too long since my last hunt and I was far from satisfied. I also knew the stress of the day
had made my eyes darken more quickly than they should have, and she was staring at me,
concerned. She frowned, as if I'd had any choice but to come home.
“When Alice saw you disappear, I came back,” I said simply.
“You shouldn't have done that. Now you'll have to go away again.”
“I can wait.” No thirst or pain could drive me away any time in the near future.
“That's ridiculous. I mean, I know she couldn't see me with Jacob, but you should have known –
”
“But I didn't,” I insisted. Even with Alice's subjective visions, I could never be truly sure Bella
was all right, and without her vision, I was completely in the dark. “And you can't expect me to
let you – ”
“Oh, yes, I can,” she said, irritation saturating her tone. “That's exactly what I expect – ”
“This won't happen again.”
“That's right! Because you're not going to overreact next time.”
It was foolish to say it. Even as the words left my mouth, I knew they were only going to fuel her
anger, yet I didn't seem to be able to stop myself. “Because there isn't going to be a next time.”
“I understand when you have to leave, even if I don't like it – ” she argued.
“That's not the same. I'm not risking my life.”
“Neither am I.”
Her eyes were fixed on me and her jaw was set. It was as if she were arguing the simplest of
truths, confused as to why I couldn't be persuaded. She was holding stubbornly to her words
exactly the way I was holding to mine. As we stood, silent and frozen, it all started to feel very
futile.
“Werewolves constitute a risk,” I said plainly, already braced for her rebuttal.
“I disagree.”
“I'm not negotiating this, Bella.” What would be the point?
“Neither am I.”
I could feel the tension start to return to my body, the calming effects of having her in my arms
slowly dissipating. I feared my voice would be too harsh, so I paused before speaking again,
willing the frustration away. Unfortunately, she misread my silence, and allowed her own
thoughts to wander. When she spoke again, her voice was colder somehow, and I wished we
could go back in time.
I should have gone to her the moment she stepped into the room. I should have scooped her up
and pulled her next to me on the bed. Though there were obviously things that needed to be
60
discussed, the events of the day were too fresh. Perhaps we should have allowed a little time to
pass before opening the floodgates.
“Is this really just about my safety?” she asked, trying to get me to admit to the truth I could still
barely admit to myself.
“What do you mean?” I asked, buying myself a few seconds.
“You aren't...I mean, you know better than to be jealous, right?” she hedged.
As the words left her mouth, I tried to deny them, but the sinking feeling that washed over me
didn't grant me any peace. “Do I?” I asked, watching and taking in her incredulous expression.
“Be serious,” she nearly laughed.
“Easily – there's nothing remotely humorous about this.”
“Or...is this something else altogether? Some vampires-and-werewolves-are-always-enemies
nonsense? Is this just a testosterone-fueled – ”
Though I was happy she seemed to have moved on quickly from the topic of my jealousy, the
notion that there was something beyond even that infuriated me. Frustration crushed me again as
I listened to her try to turn my efforts to keep her safe into some barbaric grudge I needed to
settle. All efforts at keeping up a calm facade disappeared.
“This is only about you,” I growled. “All I care is that you're safe.”
I stared at her intently, searching for a sign that she understood. If she couldn't make herself
believe this most undeniable of truths, how would she ever have enough faith in my intentions to
allow me to protect her the way I needed to?
“Okay,” she finally breathed, and her eyes instantly softened. “I believe that. But I want you to
know something – when it comes to all this enemies nonsense, I'm out. I am neutral country. I
am Switzerland. I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures. Jacob
is family.”
I cringed slightly as I tried to comprehend the place he had in her life. Though I tried to block
them out, familiar feelings of guilt began to settle over me. If I hadn't left, if I hadn't made my
terrible mistake, she wouldn't have sought refuge in the worst of places. She considered him
family, and when I remembered the images he'd forced me to see – the ways I'd broken her, the
ways he'd saved her – I couldn't blame her for granting him that title.
“You are...” she continued, her eyes suddenly filled with more love than I thought I deserved,
“well, not exactly the love of my life, because I expect to love you for much longer than that.
The love of my existence.”
I was temporarily stunned at such a declaration in the midst of our argument. I almost spoke, but
the determination quickly returned to her eyes. “I don't care who's a werewolf and who's a
vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party, too.”
I watched her carefully, deciding how serious she was. And of course, since it was Bella, she was
completely serious.
“Switzerland,” she repeated. It really was that simple to her. This wasn't about werewolves and
vampires, or even treaties and ancient rivalries. This was about the person she loved and the
person she'd sought refuge in during my absence. Friends, family. It was about her desire to keep
us both in her life, no matter how impossible it seemed.

61
“Bella,” I sighed, about to tell her how absurd she was. Then, as I stared into her pleading eyes, I
realized how tired she was of fighting. In truth, I was tired too – not something I was used to
feeling. I paused, wondering if there was anything I could say to end it at least for the moment,
and took in a deep breath. I hadn't meant to, but I must have made a sour face.
“What now?” she asked.
“Well...don't be offended, but you smell like a dog,” I said with a grin. Despite the insult, she
smiled back at me before burying her face against my chest. She was my Bella again. It was if
the day had never happened.
Unfortunately, my growing thirst over the following days also suggested the day had never
happened, and another hunting trip was planned for Friday. Though disappointed, I couldn't say I
was surprised when Alice approached me Wednesday evening. I'd left Bella's house only a few
minutes earlier, and as I was parking my car at home, Alice flitted to my side.
“She's going to try to leave again,” she sighed. “She's trying not to think about it too much, but
I've been on high alert.”
“Thanks,” I said flatly, and she watched incredulously as I walked toward the house.
“You don't sound upset.”
“Of course I'm upset. But I knew it was coming.”
“Well, what are you going to do?”
“I don't know.” I shook my head, staring at the ground and willing the answer to come to me.
“Alice, I can't fight with her anymore. It's wearing us both down. It's like we just keep going
around in circles, stubborn and relentless, neither one of us willing to give in. Will she ever
understand?”
“I wish I could answer that for you, but given the creatures in question, I don't exactly have that
kind of insight.” She smirked at me, trying to hide that fact that she was just as frustrated as I
was.
“Carlisle isn't scheduled at the hospital tomorrow, so everyone wants to leave early. I don't even
know if I can make myself go. I feel like I should stay, but if I do, she'll know it's only to keep
her away from the wolves. Yet if I go, I risk having a repeat of last weekend, and I don't think I
can handle that.”
Alice closed her eyes for a brief moment, then smiled serenely at me. I quirked one eyebrow up.
“What?” I asked.
“The answer is yes, obviously. I've always wanted to have a slumber party,” she grinned. “The
only thing left is for you to make up your mind as to what exactly you're going to give me. Your
first choice was nice, but where would I wear it? The second idea you had was wonderful, but
Jasper's already getting it for me for Christmas. I'm hoping you end up leaning toward something
a bit more...shiny. And fast.”
I rolled my eyes. The plan had been rolling around in my mind since last weekend – a way to
make sure Bella didn't make any more escape attempts during my necessary hunting trips. I
knew Alice would be more than happy to keep Bella occupied, but it still seemed only fair to
thank her properly. After all, when Bella realized what was going on, she'd take it out on Alice,
likely ruining any chance of them having the type of weekend Alice was hoping for.
“Thanks,” I said, wishing there was an easier way than kidnapping Bella to keep her safe.

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“Don't worry about it. And don't worry about Bella either. She'll understand.”
I eyed her skeptically.
“Eventually,” she added, and I sighed deeply as I took off once again toward Bella's house.

Temper – EPOV
I knew Bella was going to be angry. I knew there was nothing I could say or do that would make
her understand why I felt the need to take the precautions I was. I knew it, but that didn't mean I
wasn't going to try everything in my power to make it up to her. That was why I was currently
tucking bedding into an elaborately decorated bed, hoping she would be comfortable during her
nights in my room, and that even in her anger, she might dream of me while I was away.
It was Thursday afternoon, and everything was set. All the things Bella would need were here,
and Alice was officially on duty, ready to entertain and distract Bella as only she could. I'd been
instructed to keep my cell phone turned off until I was already on my way home. Alice was
persistent in her assurance that nothing would happen, and didn't want me wasting another
hunting trip worrying about what was going on at home.
I obeyed diligently at first, but of course my nerves eventually got the better of me. When my
family and I reached the edge of the California reserve, I turned my phone back on and saw I had
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two new messages. With a deep breath – and a reproachful glare from Jasper and Emmett – I
ducked away to find out whether yet another weekend would have to be cut short.
“You are in trouble,” Bella's voice spat from the recording. “Enormous trouble. Angry grizzly
bears are going to look tame next to what is waiting for you at home.”
A wide grin spread across my face. I hated that she was mad at me, but at least she was safe.
There was also the fact that Bella was really adorable when she was trying to sound threatening.
Next was a message from Alice that also made me smile.
“She's fine, Edward. Don't you trust your little sister? Now put your phone away and go hunt or
I'll call Jazz and have him throw it into the lake.”
As I was tucking the phone, still turned on, back into my pocket, I heard Jasper's voice behind
me.
“She's not kidding,” he said with a smirk.
“Fine,” I sighed, turning it off reluctantly. I was about to protest, but fortunately at that moment,
I caught the scent of a pair of mountain lions. I took off running, Jasper right behind me, and for
a short time, the world and all my worries disappeared.
A few hours later, when my thirst was satisfied, reality started coming back to me. I worried
about Bella, though I knew if I made any attempt to check my phone, it would be out of my hand
and at the bottom of the lake in seconds. Trying to distract myself from what was presently going
on, I started thinking once again about Bella's refusal to my proposal, and what it would mean
for our future if I were to ask her again properly only to have her deny me a second time.
I knew we were from two completely different times. I understood that she was young, and
scared. Logically, I could tell myself it made sense for her to be unready for such a huge, life-
changing decision. The problem, however, was that she was so ready to throw away her
humanity, and bind herself to this existence forever. That, compared to marriage, was a far
greater commitment. It was making me start to doubt.
Was it possible that her desire to join our family was less about me and more about her glorified
idea of immortality? She'd always shown an unnatural fascination with our way of life. Maybe
I'd been flattering myself assuming I was the only reason. Hadn't humans always searched for
eternal youth and a way to live forever?
I don't know how long I'd been frozen, staring off at nothing, but eventually Carlisle approached
me and asked if there was anything I wanted to talk about. Jasper and Emmett had taken off after
a family of grizzlies, and it was the first time on the trip we'd been alone. Though most of the
time Carlisle spoke to me like an equal – a friend, a brother – there were times his voice took on
a distinctly fatherly tone. In those times particularly, his love and concern for me were obvious,
and I found myself speaking to him exactly as I imagined a son would to his father.
“I'm not sure where to begin,” I said dismally.
“You looked like you were somewhere very far away. At first I assumed you were simply
worrying about Bella, but then it started to look like something more. You know you can tell me
anything, and I'll help in any way I can.”
I hadn't intended to discuss it, but the words were out before I knew I was speaking.
“I asked Bella to marry me,” I said softly, unsure of what his reaction would be. Really though, I
shouldn't have been surprised.
“I know. Alice mentioned it.”
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“Of course she did,” I said, feeling slightly embarrassed that more people knew about my
ridiculous spontaneous proposal. Though he didn't say a word, I suddenly felt the need to defend
myself. “That wasn't how it was supposed to happen. I'm planning on asking her again, properly
this time.”
“I know, and I'm sure it will be perfect. I also have no doubt that your love and devotion to Bella
were apparent in your first attempt, even though the circumstances were not what you'd intended.
I'm actually wondering right now if you aren't concerned over the wrong thing.”
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean is, it seems you're in a bit of a paradox. You're fighting so hard to keep Bella
human, mortal, yet you expect her to pledge herself to you forever. You're offering Bella
eternity, while simultaneously trying to keep her from it. Surely you can understand her
hesitation.”
“But I was agreeing to her condition. I was doing the unthinkable and offering to change her
myself.”
“You weren't happy about it.”
“Of course I wasn't. I could never take her life from her gladly, willingly.”
“And she knew that. You just said that the proposal wasn't how you'd intended it. If she'd
accepted under those circumstances, she knows you would have spent the duration of your
engagement buying yourself more time. She would have seen how miserable it was making you,
and known that she was causing your unhappiness. She deserves more than that, doesn't she?”
There was something off about his voice, and I eyed him curiously. “Has Alice seen that?” I
hedged, and he glanced toward the ground. “Does Alice see her saying yes and then worrying
about me and my end of the bargain?”
He looked back up at me with a new severity in his eyes.
“Just promise me that when the time comes, you'll remember that she's making sacrifices for
you, too. Nothing about this situation you two have found yourselves in should be taken lightly.
Make sure you both know what you truly want, and what you're willing to give up. There's no
sense in making each other miserable, agreeing to things you're not okay with”
I was about to ask for a slightly less cryptic explanation, but stopped when I heard Emmett's
booming voice through the clearing.
“Are you guys still talking?” he called. Jasper came up behind him, laughing, and I realized their
side trip had a secondary purpose. “Come on. More feast, less chatter,” he said as Carlisle threw
one more meaningful glance in my direction. Why did it suddenly feel like everyone else knew
more than me?
We stayed out hunting all night, and well into the next day. When the sun started to set, we
decided to head home, and as soon as we were running, my hand instinctively reached for my
phone. I looked over at Jasper who rolled his eyes.
Yes, you can check in now. Seriously, though, you have got to learn to relax.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw there were no new messages. I started to dial Alice's
number to let her know we were on our way, when it started ringing.
“Don't be upset,” Alice said before I'd even gotten out my “hello.” Without thinking, I sped up
my pace.

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“What happened?” I asked anxiously.
“Bella's completely fine – ”
“Yes, she is,” I interrupted, my nerves making me more irritable than I probably should have
been. “You've been with her the whole time as promised, right?”
“Mostly,” she said guiltily, then her own irritation became apparent. “I swear that girl is pushing
my level of patience to its breaking point. You thought you were close to crossing the line?”
“She went back to La Push again? How?”
“Well, I guess I can't place all the blame on Bella. That mongrel showed up at school on a
motorcycle and caught her off guard. I'd like to think she wouldn't have gone if she'd taken the
time to think about how much it would upset both of us. But I think we both know that's
probably not the case.”
“Where is she now?” I growled.
“Relax. She's up in your room.” Strangely, it sounded like she was smiling.
“Alice?”
“She wouldn't talk to me about it, but when she got back, she was looking less than thrilled about
her little visit. I don't know what he did or said to her, but something tells me she won't be
running off again any time soon.”
As I let that sink in, my mood grew perceptibly lighter. Maybe there wasn't anything I could say
to convince Bella to stay away from the wolves, but with their volatile nature and short tempers,
I should have known it was only a matter of time before Jacob sabotaged himself. I was almost
afraid to think of what could have happened, but I convinced myself that since Bella was safe, it
really didn't matter. I would simply hope that whatever it was had made enough of an impact on
her, I would no longer have to bribe Alice with trinkets while I was away.
“We'll be home soon,” I told Alice, now smiling like I was sure she was.
“She'll be waiting,” she said simply, and the phone clicked to silence. My pace grew impossibly
faster as I thought of Bella, lying in bed, in my room.
What's the big hurry? Emmett thought as he struggled to keep up with me. Bella in trouble
again?
“No,” I said, still grinning. “She went to La Push, but came back on her own, and apparently
quite upset.”
That wolf of hers in an idiot.
“We already knew that,” I grinned. “I'm just looking forward to finding out exactly how big of
one he is.”
I couldn't help but speculate about what Jacob or his pack had done, but since there was no way
to know, I tried to put it out of my mind. Instead, I focused on what Carlisle had said earlier, as
well as all of Alice's previous warnings to not try to make Bella's choices for her. If I was ever
going to expect her to accept a marriage proposal from me, I knew I was going to have to start
compromising.
It was still too difficult to think about willingly changing her, but there was one compromise I
was starting to feel a bit more capable of making. Though I didn't yet have the details, clearly
Bella was more than able to take herself away from a situation she didn't feel comfortable with. I
could never trust the wolves, but perhaps it was time I tried having a little more faith in Bella.
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Maybe it was because a part of me wanted to believe she had no intention of going back to La
Push, or it might have been a simple desire to end the fight we'd had so many times, but
whatever the reason, I was finding myself more and more okay with the idea of not interfering
with her visits.
Anxious to discuss it with Bella, I kept my quick pace and beat everyone home. I heard Alice's
melancholy thoughts coming from the garage as I neared the house, and decided to check in with
her first. I didn't want her thinking I was upset with her for having let Bella get away. It wasn't
her fault. And though it was hard to believe, some good may have come from the incident.
“I'm not going to take the car away,” I said as I entered the garage. She smiled widely at me just
as my gaze drifted toward the motorcycle that sat in the corner. Her face went stoic as my eyes
widened.
Would you rather he'd brought her home on his bike? she argued.
I sighed. “Of course not. Anyway, it doesn't matter, right? She's home safely.”
“Exactly.”
“Did she ever tell you what upset her?”
“No, she went straight up to your room and hasn't left all night.”
“Thank you, Alice.”
“For what?”
“For being concerned. And for doing everything in your power to keep her safe. I know it's not
easy when she gets mixed up with the wolves. I understand how frustrating this weekend must
have been for you. I want you to know I'm going to try my best not to ask anything like this of
you again. I'm hoping there won't be a need at all, but if she does decide to forgive whatever
happened down there, I'm going to attempt to stay out of it next time.”
“Wow. Do you really think you'll be able to do that?”
“I have to try. I can't keep letting this come between Bella and I.”
Alice nodded in approval, though her thoughts were as wary as mine.
I went inside, hurrying up the stairs toward my room, but was stopped in my tracks as I passed
Rosalie and Emmett's room. Rose was waiting for Emmett to get home, and while she was as
anxious as usual for his return, her primary thoughts were of something completely different.
I've done everything I can. If she's stupid enough not to listen, it's her own fault. Can't blame me
if she's miserable for eternity. No one can ever say I didn't warn her.
I wasn't surprised. Most of what she was thinking were things I'd grown used to since Bella had
made her choice clear. Rose didn't agree, because if it had been up to her, she never would have
chosen this life. I was about to walk away and leave her to her musings, when an unexpected
thought found its way into the mix.
Of course she's not thinking about children now. She's still a child herself. But she's an idiot for
thinking Edward will always be enough for her.
I stopped, stunned. Though Rosalie's thoughts occasionally betrayed her normally secret desire
to have a child, I hadn't realized she was worried that Bella would have the same regrets. It made
sense, and of course I'd had that fear myself – it was just one more thing I'd be denying Bella by
agreeing to take her life – but it was still strange to hear that particular concern come from Rose.

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I felt somehow more voyeuristic than normal, listening to such private thoughts, so I quickly
made my way up to my room and searched the bed for Bella's sleeping form, only to find it
empty. I was surprised to hear her heart and breath coming from the couch I'd pushed aside. She
was buried beneath the comforter I'd picked out, curled up in what I could only assume was
defiance of my gift. I scooped her up gently in my arms and carried her over to the bed. She
could be mad at me if she wanted, but there was no sense in her making herself uncomfortable,
simply to prove a point.
I wrapped her up in the blankets and laid down beside her, happy when she unconsciously curled
her body close to mine. She sighed in her sleep, her mouth twitching into an almost smile as she
rested her cheek against my chest. I listened to her quiet, steady breaths, completely content,
until she eventually turned away from me. It was as if even in sleep she was debating whether or
not to forgive me.
I listened to her sleep, hoping she might give me some clue as to what had happened in La Push,
but she remained silent. Curiosity was getting the better of me, yet I knew after she woke up, I
wouldn't make any attempt to get her to talk until she was ready. For now, I would simply focus
on the fact that she was here, safe, and at home with me. I only hoped her anger with me
wouldn't hinder us from celebrating that fact.
It was something I'd longed for many times while I lay holding her in her room. It wasn't that I
minded us staying there every night, but sometimes it was unsettling, knowing Charlie was so
nearby, and blissfully unaware that his daughter no longer slept alone. Here in my house we
didn't have to talk softly, or make sure I was gone by a certain time. She could wake up in my
arms and let me hold her for as long as we wanted. I could sing to her while we watched the sun
come up. It was everything I wanted, and not just for one night, but for every night.
I was once again reminded of all the reasons I wanted to make her my wife. There had never
been anyone else and there would never be anyone else. Bella had given me a reason to exist,
and I wanted her beside me every minute of every day. Even though the idea of what forever
meant for her humanity terrified me, it was in every other way exactly what I'd wanted. Just as
Carlisle had said, I'd found myself in a paradox, longing for the very thing I was so determined
not to have.
After several hours lost in my own very confusing thoughts, Bella started to stir. She was was
facing me again, though she was still on the opposite side of the bed. I was respecting the
distance she'd put between us, though I wanted nothing more than to pull her into my embrace
and never let go. She stretched and turned her body away, toward the window, then back back
again before opening her eyes. I could see her perfectly, though I doubted she could even make
out my shape in the darkness.
“Sorry,” I whispered, not wanting to startle her. “I didn't mean to wake you.”
Her hands fumbled toward me, and I reached my own out until she grasped them tightly and
pulled herself close. She seemed to still be half asleep and I was waiting for her to remember her
anger at any moment. Hoping to keep it at bay a little while longer, I hugged her to me and
rocked her against my chest.
She began slowly kissing my throat and I nearly laughed as a shiver of pleasure washed over me.
I'd been expecting her fury, and instead I was greeted with her soft, warm breath and loving
kisses. Certainly I deserved none of it.
She continued kissing my face until her lips met my own, and it was like coming home. Nothing
on Earth compared to that feeling. It almost made going away worth it if I was welcomed back
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like this. I reveled in the way she sighed and leaned into me, like she couldn't get close enough.
It was the way I felt every time we were together.
When I finally made myself pull away, I laughed softly.
“I was all braced for the wrath that was going to put grizzlies to shame, and this is what I get? I
should infuriate you more often.”
“Give me a minute to work up to it,” she said, barely parting her lips from mine.
“I'll wait as long as you want,” I said, just as unwilling as she was to allow any space between us.
I held her close, loving the way her body fit perfectly against mine, and yet it still felt like we
weren't close enough. My fingers reached up to tangle in her hair and I felt myself struggling not
to hold her too tightly. Then I realized I wasn't the only one getting caught up in the moment
“Maybe in the morning,” she nearly gasped.
“Whatever you prefer.”
“Welcome home. I'm glad you came back,” she said as I trailed kissed down her cheek and along
her jaw. Her words only served to remind me where we were – we were home, both of us,
together. I loved the way it sounded.
“That's a very good thing,” I murmured, wondering if she knew what she was doing to me. I'd
never fully realized exactly how much it meant to me to have her home with me. When I was at
her house, I was a guest. When she was here, it was like she was where she'd always belonged.
Bella had made no secret of how comfortable she felt in my house, and my family had already
welcomed her in completely. All I wanted was to make it official, make her mine – my family –
for all time.
As she hummed and sighed, breathing against my neck, all my well thought out restraint seemed
to vanish. I could never hold her too tight – there was no such thing. We could never be too close
– I would never get enough of her. I ached to be closer, even now as we were molded together,
and I soon found my hand idly tracing down her arm, brushing her side and eliciting a slight
shiver from her. I continued my path across her waist and down her leg until I was holding her
calf in my hand. Without thinking, I pulled her leg up around me, the warmth of her body
assaulting me as her breath caught. For an instant, I felt myself losing control, but I couldn't
make myself care.
As my hand desperately held her to me, I forced myself to regain a measure of control. I smirked
as my mouth found its way to her throat. It used to be only her blood that called to me, and now
her entire body was testing me in new and wonderful ways. I forced my hand to relax so I didn't
accidentally bruise her, then whispered against her skin.
“Not to bring on the ire prematurely, but do you mind telling me what it is about this bed that
you object to?”
I quickly but cautiously rolled to one side and lifted Bella onto me, eager to feel her warmth
against every inch of me. Her hair fell in long sweeps around her, and I held my hands on either
side of her face in such a way that allowed me to continue kissing her throat. Her heart was
racing and her breathing erratic, which only seemed to encourage me.
“The bed?” I repeated, smiling at her apparent inability to find words. “I think it's nice.”
“It's unnecessary,” she breathed as I guided her lips back to mine. She kissed me feverishly and
in that instant, I wanted more than anything to feel her heart beating beneath me.
Slowly, gently, I rolled her over onto her back and positioned myself above her.
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“That's debatable,” I laughed softly. “This would be difficult on a couch.”
Every second, I was carefully calculating how much weight I could put on her without hurting
her. I could feel the heat radiating from her skin and her heart pounding under my chest. I wanted
more, but how far could I push myself? I was already worried about crushing her, and I didn't
dare hold her any tighter than I already was. I was overcome with a desire to taste her, and while
that should have terrified me, I instead felt myself pressing my lips to hers again, then softly
tracing them with the tip of my tongue. It was magnificent, and I began wondering why we'd
never been like this before.
“Did you change your mind?” she asked.
Oh, right, that's why. I felt instantly remorseful as I realized I'd given her the wrong idea. If she
knew how difficult it was to restrain myself, how my muscles were nearly trembling from having
to hold back the strength with which I wanted to hold onto her, she wouldn't ask such a question.
But she didn't know, or didn't fully understand, and I couldn't really expect her to. While she'd
seen my strength on rare occasions, like so long ago in our meadow, she'd always believed my
love for her would keep me from ever harming her. I wanted with everything in me to believe
that, but her life was too precious to take such a risk.
I sighed, bracing myself for the disappointment I knew was I about to ignite in her, as I rolled us
back onto our sides.
“Don't be ridiculous, Bella. I was just trying to illustrate the benefits of the bed you don't seem to
like. Don't get carried away.”
“Too late,” she said softly, breaking my heart. How I longed to give her everything. “And I like
the bed,” she added, forcing a smile.
“Good,” I said, returning her smile and pressing my lips to her forehead. “I do, too.”
“But I still think it's unnecessary. If we're not going to get carried away, what's the point?”
I let out a long, deep breath, cursing myself for having let things go this far. She had too difficult
a time drawing lines that needed to be drawn.
“For the hundredth time, Bella – it's too dangerous.”
“I like danger,” she said stubbornly. Instantly, I was reminded of her trips to La Push, and her
naivety when it comes to her own safety. “I'll tell you what's dangerous,” she continued. “I'm
going to spontaneously combust one of these days – and you'll have no one but yourself to
blame.”
I knew she was trying to make a joke, but the guilt of the situation was getting to me and I
reluctantly started to push her away.
“What are you doing?” she asked, holding onto me.
“Protecting you from combustion. If this is too much for you...”
“I can handle it,” she said, wiggling her way back into my embrace. It probably wasn't smart, but
I couldn't make myself fight her on it. Once I was holding her again, feeling her relax into me, I
realized that even when I frustrated her, she would rather be close than have me pull away. It was
a comforting feeling.
“I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression,” I apologized. “I didn't mean to make you unhappy.
That wasn't nice.”

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“Actually, it was very, very nice,” she said slyly, her breath warming my icy skin. She was going
to be my undoing. I felt that earlier sense of longing starting to take hold of me again, a desire, a
need to be closer. Not wanting to blur the lines again, I took a breath to steady myself.
“Aren't you tired?” I asked, hoping futilely to distract her. “I should let you sleep.”
“No, I'm not. I don't mind if you want to give me the wrong impression again.”
“That's probably a bad idea. You're not the only one who gets carried away.”
“Yes, I am,” she muttered, scowling. If only she knew, I thought, laughing under my breath.
“You have no idea, Bella. It doesn't help that you are so eager to undermine my self-control,
either.”
“I'm not going to apologize for that.”
“Can I apologize?” I asked, more than ready to change the subject. It was yet another argument
that tended to go in circles with us, and I was looking forward to addressing the one that may
have finally found its resolve.
“For what?”
“You were angry with me, remember?”
“Oh, that,” she said, frowning slightly.
“I'm sorry. I was wrong. It's much easier to have the proper perspective when I have you safely
here.” She smiled as I hugged her tighter. “I go a little berserk when I try to leave you. I don't
think I'll go so far again. It's not worth it.”
If there was any anger left in her, it disappeared with those words.
“Didn't you find any mountain lions?” she asked, grinning.
“Yes, I did, actually. Still not worth the anxiety. I'm sorry I had Alice hold you hostage, though.
That was a bad idea.”
“Yes,” she said simply.
“I won't do it again,” I promised.
“Okay. But slumber parties do have their advantages...” she smiled, pressing herself against me
and kissing my neck.
“Mmm, I may take you up on that,” I sighed, momentarily forgetting why stopping her was
necessary. My head felt cloudy as her breath washed over me and my resolve started to waver.
“So is it my turn now?” she asked, pulling me abruptly from my wandering thoughts.
“Your turn?”
“To apologize.”
“What do you have to apologize for?” I'd been expecting her to be furious with me, and instead
I'd been met with nothing but understanding and affection. In my joy, it hadn't occurred to me
that she was expecting me to be upset with her.
“Aren't you mad at me?” she asked, confused.
“No.”
“Didn't you see Alice when you got home?” she asked, as if I was missing something obvious.
“Yes – why?”
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“Are you going to take her Porsche back?”
Then I understood. Bella knew the exact details of our arrangement and she assumed I would
accuse Alice of not upholding her part of the deal. Even if that were the case – and truthfully, I
didn't blame Alice in the least – what would I gain by taking away something Alice loved?
Honestly, I was going to buy it for her anyway. I would owe her for all eternity for bringing
Bella to me in Volterra.
“Of course not,” I assured her. “It was a gift.”
“Don't you want to know what I did?” she asked.
Of course I did. It had been driving me crazy since I'd spoken to Alice on the phone. Still, I only
wanted to know if Bella was ready to talk about it. I tried my best to appear nonchalant.
“I'm always interested in everything you do – but you don't have to tell me unless you want to.”
“But I went to La Push,” she said sheepishly.
“I know.”
“And I ditched school.”
“So did I.”
I was determined not to allow her a moment of guilt over what had happened. It was over and
done, and no harm had come from it. It had very possibly even given her a glimpse of what I'd
been warning her about, and made her reluctant to return.
It looked like she was staring straight at me, though I wondered if her eyes had adjusted to the
darkness yet. The way her fingers were searching the lines of my face made me feel like she was
using them to try to read my expression.
“Where did all this tolerance come from?” she asked skeptically.
I felt remorseful yet again. I truly had been a tyrant, I thought with a sigh.
“I decided that you were right. My problem before was more about my...prejudice against
werewolves than anything else. I'm going to try to be more reasonable and trust your judgment.
If you say it's safe, then I'll believe you.”
Please say you don't think it's safe and that you're never going back...
“Wow.”
I felt my heart sink. As I waited hopefully for her to tell me the words I longed to hear – she'd
had enough, she understood why it was best to stay away – I struggled to remember that even if
she hadn't changed her mind, there was another reason for my compromise.
“And...most importantly...I'm not willing to let this drive a wedge between us.”
Without another word, she laid her head back down on my chest, and I could feel her breathing
steady. She was happy, and I had to believe that was all that mattered.
“So,” I said, casually starting to fish for the most crucial piece of the puzzle. “Did you make
plans to go back to La Push again soon?”
She didn't speak, and I could hear her heart start to speed up again. She didn't want to say the
words out loud. I suddenly felt foolish to have thought that one bad day was enough to keep her
from Jacob. Once again, I'd underestimated the place he had in her life.

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Not wanting her to think I was going back on my words, I quickly added, “Just so that I can
make my own plans. I don't want you to feel like you have to hurry back because I'm sitting
around waiting for you.”
“No,” she said, a touch of sadness apparent in her tone. “I don't have plans to go back.”
The curiosity was getting to me, but I didn't want to push her. I was honestly so thrilled to hear
she wasn't planning a return trip, I didn't care if she kept the reason from me forever.
“Oh. You don't have to do that for me,” I offered, though I knew it wasn't about me.
“I don't think I'm welcome anymore,” she said, her voice soft and almost shaking. I was taken
aback. I'd been assuming from Alice's description Bella had left because she was upset and
wanted to get away. It never occurred to me she no longer felt wanted there.
“Did you run over someone's cat?” I teased, now wondering what she could have done to wear
out her welcome. As far as I'd seen, Jacob was borderline obsessed with having her around.
“No,” she said dismally. “I thought Jacob would have realized...I didn't think it would surprise
him.” She paused, as if what she was about to say was causing her physical pain. I was overcome
with a sinking feeling, understanding what she meant before she'd finished explaining. “He
wasn't expecting...that it was so soon.”
“Ah,” I breathed. Of course it made sense that Jacob would have gotten angry with her, when
forced to think about her transformation. It was difficult for me to think about it, and it meant I
got to be with her forever. How much more painful must it be for him? It means the end of
whatever relationship they have – the end of hope.
He must have lashed out at her, though I assume he was still managing to hold onto enough
control that it was only verbal. Though a part of me hated to admit it, I'd seen the purity of how
Jacob cared for her. It would take a lot more than that to anger him enough to phase and risk
hurting her. I watched Bella closely, her eyes close to tears, wondering what he'd said to cause
her so much grief.
“He said he'd rather see me dead,” she finally said. Her voice cracked, her expression cold and
miserable. Although I thought I'd feel nothing but grateful for whatever Jacob had done to push
her away, in that instant I could only hate him for causing her such pain. I wanted to rip him
apart for being so selfish, so infantile.
I pulled Bella close, holding her and trying to make the agony go away.
“I'm so sorry,” I breathed, pressing my lips to the top of her head.
“I thought you'd be glad.” There was a hint of bitterness in her voice, though I couldn't tell if it
was directed at myself or Jacob.
“Glad over something that hurt you? I don't think so Bella.”
I could feel some of the tension in her body dissipate as she nuzzled closer to me, seemingly
relieved by my response, though I couldn't imagine how she could have thought any differently.
Did she really think me selfish enough to wish that kind of pain on her, simply to rid myself of
that cretin? I could think of a much better way to rid us of him entirely, but I doubted if Bella
could ever be that angry with him.
“What's wrong?” she asked, pulling me from that thought – which was probably a good thing.
“It's nothing,” I said, not wanting to upset her further.
“You can tell me.”
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I debated, curious what her reaction would be. “It might make you angry,” I warned.
“I still want to know.”
I sighed. She left me no choice. Bella was never very good at letting things go.
“I could quite literally kill him for saying that to you. I want to.”
To my great surprise, she laughed, though I could tell she was slightly uncomfortable. I hoped
she knew me well enough to know I would never act on the thought – at least, not without her
permission.
“I guess it's a good thing you've got so much self-control.”
“I could slip,” I offered. Just say the word...
To my surprise, her voice, her entire mood, suddenly shifted. “If you're going to have a lapse in
control, I can think of a better place for it,” she said sweetly, touching my face and attempting to
kiss me. Worried that my self-control had already been pushed to its limit once today, I stopped
her before she could start again.
“Must I always be the responsible one?” I asked.
My words did nothing to deter her. She was a woman on a mission.
“No,” she said, smiling widely up at me. “Let me be in charge of responsibility for a few
minutes...or hours.”
“Goodnight, Bella,” I insisted, though I knew she wasn't thinking at all about sleep.
“Wait – there was something else I wanted to ask you about.”
“What's that?”
“I was talking to Rosalie last night...”
I breathed in deeply, frozen in place. I didn't know if I was up for this discussion. While a part of
me hoped Rosalie's words had gotten through to her, given her a reason to reconsider her
decision, I was equally terrified of what that would mean if it were true. Perhaps Rose was right,
Bella hadn't really been thinking of all she was giving up. What if now that she was forced to
think about it, she realized she couldn't give up the possibility of having children? The thought
might save her humanity, but it could also cost me her love and dedication. It was something I
would never be able to give her. The thought made me loathe my existence more than I'd felt in a
long time.
“Yes,” I finally said, preparing myself for whatever was about to be said. “She was thinking
about that when I got in. She gave you quite a lot to consider, didn't she?”
“She told me a little bit...about the time your family lived in Denali.”
Baffled, I tried to quickly sift through what I'd heard, but whatever Rose had said about Denali
was no longer on her mind when I got home.
“Yes?” I prompted.
“She mentioned something about a bunch of female vampires...and you.”
Oh, no. I did not want to have this conversation. Being stuck in an endless existence has a few
down sides no one really wants to think about – like literally never living down humiliating
moments. Not that I'd done anything particularly inexcusable, but the situation with Tanya's clan
was not something I wanted to be reminded of. Ever. Least of all by Rosalie.

74
“Don't worry,” Bella said, attempting to sound casual. “She told me you didn't...show any
preference. But I was just wondering, you know, if any of them had. Shown a preference for you,
I mean.”
It was like I was there again, being bombarded by their lust filled thoughts, and as hard as I tried,
I couldn't block out the memories. Irina and Kate were more discreet than Tanya, never making
their intentions known out loud. They were actually quite embarrassed when they learned I could
hear them. Tanya however...well, subtle was never her style.
“Which one?” Bella asked when I remained silent. “Or was there more than one?”
I knew it was unfair, not saying anything, letting her think the worst, but I was finding it nearly
impossible to form the words. Especially since thinking of Tanya had also reminded me of one
of the darkest times in my life. Right after I'd first caught Bella's scent and I had fled like the
coward I was, I'd made the mistake of returning to Denali. I'd given Tanya the wrong impression
and felt miserable for it.
I'm not used to rejection, she'd said dejectedly, then proceeded to let her mind wander freely
through her thousands of lovers. It was meant to make me want her, but instead it had made me
feel insignificant. Even if I had been interested, what would I have been to her? One grain of
sand on the beach, one star in the endless night sky. I'd never considered myself vain, but surely I
was worth more than that. Didn't I deserve better?
“Alice will tell me,” Bella said, making me realize I still hadn't spoken a word out loud. “I'll go
ask her right now.”
I held her close, the thought of her talking to Alice about it making me nervous. Knowing her,
she'd probably make some ridiculous joke that Bella would take too seriously, and it would make
her more self conscious than she already was. There was no need. Bella was the only one I'd ever
wanted.
“It's late,” I said, internally cursing Rosalie for having brought it up to begin with. “Besides, I
think Alice stepped out...”
“It's bad,” she said, her heart starting to race. “It's really bad, isn't it?”
“Calm down, Bella. You're being absurd.” She sounded so distressed, I wondered how far her
mind had already taken it. I thought I'd made it clear there had never been anyone before her, but
she seemed almost panicked.
“Am I?” she asked, eyes wide and nervous. “Then why won't you tell me?”
“Because there's nothing to tell,” I said sincerely. “You're blowing this wildly out of proportion.”
“Which one?” she persisted.
I let out a deep sigh. I couldn't believe I was being forced to justify a situation in which nothing
had actually happened. Besides, the nothing had been long before I'd even laid eyes on Bella.
Fortunately, I'd started to learn how crazy the emotion of jealously can make a person –
otherwise I would have started to doubt Bella's sanity.
“Tanya expressed a little interest,” I said in an overly uninterested tone. “I let her know, in a very
courteous, gentlemanly fashion, that I did not return that interest. End of story.”
If only it could have been, but Bella was persistent.
“Tell me something – what does Tanya look like?”
“Just like the rest of us – white skin, gold eyes,” I said calmly.
75
“And, of course, extraordinarily beautiful.” I could hear the hurt behind her words. She still
didn't regard herself as beautiful, no matter the number of times I'd told her, showed her how
amazing she was.
“I suppose, to human eyes,” I said. Yes, Tanya was beautiful in her own way, but I'd had the
advantage of seeing into her mind. It was not nearly as inviting as her outward facade, and that
had a way of marring my image of her. Though I tried not to hold Tanya or her sister's pasts
against them, it was difficult to see beyond the slaughters of the earlier years of their existence.
I smiled then, as I stared at the woman who'd finally awoken my sleeping heart. It was hard to
imagine anyone purer or more selfless. Bella was truly Tanya's opposite in nearly every
conceivable way.
“You know what, though?” I asked.
“What?” she muttered.
I leaned in closer, laughing lightly at her indignant expression. If it took the rest of forever to
prove it to her, I vowed one day she would understand that no one, human or vampire, could ever
hold a candle to her.
When my mouth found the soft skin at the base of her ears, I whispered, “I prefer brunettes.”
“She's a blonde. That figures,” she sighed, ridiculously still worrying though I was cherishing
her, worshiping her with my lips.
“Strawberry blonde – not at all my type,” I assured her, continuing to trail soft kisses across her
cheek and over every inch of her perfect skin I could find. When I reached the base of her neck, I
breathed her in reverently, smiling as I waited for her to accept my promises. It was fine – she
could take her time. I was perfectly happy discovering new ways of showing her.
After several minutes, when her blood was racing so fast her skin was actually warming my icy
lips, she finally spoke. I loved the way the words came out shaky and breathless.
“I guess that's okay, then,” she said hesitantly, making me smile again in the darkness.
“Hmm,” I said softly, letting my breath cool her heated skin. “You're quite adorable when you're
jealous. It's surprisingly enjoyable.”
I almost felt guilty for the sour expression my words elicited.
“It's late,” I whispered, ready to let her drift back into the quiet sanctity of sleep. I hoped that
now, with so much discussed and resolved, her dreams would be peaceful. “Sleep, my Bella.
Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be
yours. Sleep, my only love.”
I could feel her contentment as I began humming softly. She scooted her body against mine,
pressing her cheek into my chest with a sigh. As her breathing steadied and her eyes started to
flutter, I let my thoughts wander back to that which I longed for most – to be here, like this
forever. My life, my love.
My wife.
Would she ever want the same things as I did? Would she ever understand the ways in which she
would complete me if she'd only say yes?
As the hours passed and the light of morning crept in through the window, she began to murmur
in her sleep. I traced her cheekbones lightly, then let my fingers run through her silky hair. Talk
to me, my love...
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“Mine,” she whispered.
I smiled. “Always. I am yours.”

Target – EPOV
The sun filtered in through the window, catching Bella's hair and making it look almost golden.
She was radiant in the morning light, and though I'd told her a thousand times how gorgeous she
was, I wondered if she would ever truly believe me.
“Good morning,” I whispered when she started to stir.
“Very good,” she mumbled, tightening her grip on me, still half asleep.
I ran my fingers gently through her hair as her eyes fluttered open and struggled to focus.
“There's no hurry,” I told her, not quite ready to let go yet. “It's still early.”
“I know, but I feel kind of bad having left Charlie alone the past two days.”
“He was alone every day before you came. I'm pretty sure he can take care of himself.”
I was trying not to be paranoid, but something told me there was another reason she was anxious
to get home. Was she hoping Jacob would have called to apologize? And if he hadn't, would she
try to contact him, eager to make amends? As hard as it was, I tried to push those thoughts aside,
reminding myself I'd promised to stay out of it.
“I still think I should get back. Besides, you'll be coming over soon, right?”
“Of course. I'll be right behind Alice. But, in keeping up appearances, I'll wait a respectable
amount of time before coming in. How does five minutes sound?” I asked, winking at her.
She laughed, stretching up to kiss me.
Everyone decent in there? Alice teased, her footsteps right outside my door. Jasper said the
energy was feeling a bit... charged last night.
I sighed, reluctantly pulling away from Bella's kiss.

77
“Come in, Alice,” I said dryly. Bella's eyes widened and she blushed, scrambling to put a bit of
space between us as Alice opened the door.
“Relax,” she laughed as she stepped inside. Doesn't she know yet that there really is no such
thing as privacy in this house?
I growled, too low for Bella to hear, and Alice rolled her eyes.
“I figured I'd be driving you home today, Bella, since Edward's technically not supposed to be
home yet.”
“Yes, thank you. I'm ready whenever you are,” she said, then turned to me and added, “see you
soon?”
“Not soon enough,” I said, kissing her forehead.
I waited about ten minutes before heading out, wanting to give Bella at least some time with
Charlie. When I arrived, I heard the TV on in the living room. I sighed. So much for father-
daughter bonding time.
Just as I reached up to ring the doorbell, I realized something wasn't right. I caught an unfamiliar
scent and my hands clenched into fists as Bella opened the door. The scent was even stronger
inside the house.
“Edward? What –?” she started to ask, but I quickly interrupted, needing to know what was
happening before panicking her.
“Give me two seconds. Don't move.”
I ran silently past Charlie, up the stairs and to her room, horrified that the scent was stronger
there than the rest of the house. Another vampire had been there, and it seemed they were the
most interested in Bella.
My first thought was that Victoria had managed to come back into town undetected, but I'd
tracked her before, and the unfamiliarity of the scent suggested someone else. It could easily be a
member of the Volturi checking up on Bella, and if that was the case, they would be less than
ecstatic about the fact that she was still human. It didn't seem likely, however, because I doubted
Alice could have missed something like that. She'd been keeping a close watch on them, and as
far as we knew, they had made no plans to visit us.
I made a quick circuit through the rest of the house. The scent was present, though more subtle,
in Charlie's room, and it was only then that I realized the impossibility of him being alive right
now. It added to my suspicion that it was one of the Volturi. They would have wanted to keep a
low profile and they most likely would have resisted the urge to kill him. If it had been anyone
else, I couldn't imagine them leaving him alive.
I raced back to Bella's side, hating the nervous look on her face. I was afraid to tell her my
suspicions, knowing the conclusion it would lead her to. She was already in such a hurry to be
changed, if she thought she – not to mention Charlie – were in danger because she was human,
there would be no stopping her.
I pulled Bella close to me, protecting her though I knew the immediate threat was long gone. I
led her into the kitchen, scanning every inch of the room as if someone was going to jump out at
us.
“Someone's been here,” I whispered, worried Charlie might be eavesdropping on our
conversation.

78
“I swear that no werewolves – ” she started. For once I wished it had been the wolves.
“Not one one them,” I said, looking meaningfully into her eyes. “One of us.”
I was horrified, watching the sick look on her face as the fear set in.
“Victoria?” she gasped.
“It's not a scent I recognize.”
“One of the Volturi,” she said. It sounded more like a statement than a question.
“Probably.”
She relaxed infinitesimally. The idea seemed slightly less terrifying to her than that of Victoria,
which made me wonder if she had somehow blocked out the atrocities she'd witnessed in Italy.
The Volturi were every bit as great of a threat to her as Victoria.
“When?” she asked.
“That's why I think it must have been them – it wasn't long ago, easily this morning while
Charlie was sleeping. And whoever it was didn't touch him, so there must have been another
purpose.”
“Looking for me.”
Her expression remained surprisingly calm, though her racing heart betrayed her terror. I cursed
myself for having once again brought such horrors into her life. No one should have to live in
fear for their life, and because of me, this was becoming an all too common worry. I stared at
her, wishing more than anything that I could shield her from worry and pain, but knowing there
was no way. At least not while she was human...
“What are you two hissing about in there?” Charlie's voice pulled me abruptly from my
unwanted thoughts. I felt like a monster for having let it cross my mind – dooming her to this life
could never be considered protecting her.
Bella's eyes, wide with fear, stared at Charlie as if she wanted to scream. I knew that look. It was
the same look she'd had when she'd first been tracked by James and I'd tried to take her away
from Charlie. She was scared for his life, so much so that, for the moment, concern for her own
safety completely vanished.
Charlie misread her expression and broke into a smile.
“If you two are having a fight...well, don't let me interrupt.”
Bella remained frozen as he left the room, and as I listened to her frantic breathing, I knew I
couldn't stand for her to be in the house a moment longer. Her once seemingly safe home now
felt tainted, and I hated myself all the more for it. I had to get her out.
“Let's go,” I said, knowing what was coming next.
“But Charlie!” she protested. A second later, I had my phone out and was dialing. I'd been given
no warning, so obviously Alice had missed whoever this intruder was, but I hoped that by now
she had some idea of what was going on. If she had seen something, I was sure she would have
already enlisted Emmett and Jasper's help in checking the area.
“Hey, what's going on?” Emmett answered, far too relaxed. Clearly, they were all still in the
dark.
“Emmett,” I said, then spoke quickly, not wanting Bella to hear any more than she needed to.
“Alice missed something. A vampire, probably one of the Volturi, was here in Bella's room. I
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need to get her out of here, but she's afraid for Charlie. Can you and Jasper make a quick circuit
through the woods around her house, then hang around for a bit while I talk to Alice?”
“Of course. Is Bella okay?” I appreciated the sincere concern in his voice. He truly looked at
Bella like she was his little sister, and it meant a lot to me that even with Rosalie's opposition, he
had accepted her into our family completely.
“She's okay, just shaken up. We'll both feel better when we've spoken with Alice. Hopefully she
knows what this is all about. I'll talk to you later.”
“No problem. Tell her not to worry about Charlie. We'll keep him safe.”
The line went dead and I reached out to take Bella's arm. It was a struggle to stay calm, and I
could feel her hesitation as I started walking toward the door. What I really wanted to do was
pull her onto my back and run as fast as I could back to my house, though I didn't think Charlie
was quite distracted enough not to notice us fly past him.
“Emmett and Jasper are on their way,” I promised her, pleading with my eyes. “They'll sweep
the woods. Charlie is fine.”
Bella was eying me skeptically, but I felt her relax slightly beneath my touch. Although she was
scared for Charlie, I could also tell she wasn't entirely comfortable being in the house. I walked
us hastily to the door, and Bella looked at him, unable to hide the panic she was feeling. Charlie's
muddled thoughts shifted from excitement to confusion as he took in the scene, but we didn't
have time to stop and make up excuses.
“Where are we going?” Bella asked quietly, although we were well out of Charlie's hearing
range.
“We're going to talk to Alice.”
“You think maybe she saw something?”
“Maybe,” I said, trying to force my voice to remain steady. It was difficult for me to admit even
to myself how upset I was with Alice.
She'd been so confident, nearly cocky really, about how finely tuned her senses were when it
came to watching Bella. She'd told me once that it was the clearest she'd ever seen a human, and
though she'd refrained from saying it out loud, I'd heard the rest of her thought. Bella was almost
as easy to see as a vampire, because she was already so familiar and accepting of our lifestyle, so
ready to be a part of it. As upset as it had made me, I'd at least been able to take comfort in
knowing Bella's future was in clear focus for Alice. So where was that clear picture now?
We arrived at my house a few minutes later. Emmett and Jasper were already gone, but the rest
of my family stood waiting just inside the door. My eyes went instantly to Alice, eager to
demand an explanation for how a vampire was allowed to get into Bella's room when she was
supposedly on the lookout. Carlisle took one look at my expression and his thoughts were
immediately reproachful.
Calmly, Edward, this isn't her fault. She already feels bad enough. Please remember, she can't
see everything all at once.
But I was already gone, frustration and fear having overtaken rational thought.
“What happened?” I growled, glaring at her unmoving posture.
“I have no idea,” she said softly, eyes fixed on mine. “I didn't see anything.”
“How is that possible?”
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“Edward,” Bella whispered, shocked. She didn't often hear me angry.
“It's not an exact science, Edward,” Carlisle said, this time out loud, making sure he had my full
attention. I couldn't bring myself to look at him, partly because I was transfixed by the ire in
Alice's usually loving eyes, and partly because I didn't want to see the disapproval I was sure was
in Carlisle's.
“He was in her room, Alice. He could have still been there – waiting for her.”
“I would have seen that.” Give me some credit here. That would have affected her future and I
wouldn't have missed that.
I cringed. By “affected her future,” she might as well have said destroyed it.
“Really? You're sure?” I spat.
This is bordering on humiliating, Edward, and I don't deserve it, she thought icily.
“You've already got me watching the Volturi's decisions, watching for Victoria's return,
watching Bella's every step. You want to add another? Do I just have to watch Charlie, or Bella's
room, or the house, or the whole street, too? Edward, if I try to do too much, things are going to
start slipping through the cracks.”
“It looks like they already are,” I said coldly.
“She was never in any danger. There was nothing to see.” Everything about her future is exactly
as it was. Everything, she added again for emphasis.A tiny smirk tugged at her mouth, and I
spoke quickly to block out the image I was sure was about to back up that assurance.
“If you're watching Italy, why didn't you see them send – ”
“I don't think it's them. I would have seen that.”
“Who else would leave Charlie alive?”
I felt Bella's breath catch and she started to shake. It wasn't something she wanted to think about,
but of course she knew it was true. A random rogue vampire wouldn't have thought twice about
taking Charlie's life. All alone in the middle of the night, evidence so easily disposed of.
The Volturi, however, were all about keeping a low profile, and they wouldn't want to burn any
bridges, especially where our family was concerned. They would have made sure that whomever
they'd sent was well fed and in complete control. If this intruder was indeed one of them, Charlie
had never been in any danger.
I watched as Alice quickly sifted through image after image, trying to find any clue, anything we
might have missed, but there was nothing. For the first time since I'd arrived home, her voice
softened and she sounded genuinely apologetic.
“I don't know,” she said sadly.
“Helpful,” I muttered.
“Stop it, Edward,” Bella chided. I looked down at her, and it was less than a second before the
guilt hit me. She'd been the one in danger, yet she would never blame Alice – or anyone for that
matter – for circumstances that were clearly out of our control.
“You're right, Bella. I'm sorry.” As soon as I'd said it, I knew she wanted my apology directed
elsewhere. I turned to Alice, full of remorse. “Forgive me, Alice. I shouldn't be taking this out on
you. That was inexcusable.”

81
“I understand. I'm not happy about it, either.” And I promise I'll keep an even closer watch until
we know exactly what we're up against, she added silently, likely not wanting to frighten Bella
further.
“Okay,” I said, promising myself to remain as rational and pragmatic as possible. The last thing
Bella needed was to see how fearful I was about the situation. The best thing we could do for her
at this precise moment was to let her know she was protected. “Let's look at this logically. What
are the possibilities?”
She's being tracked again. Can't keep herself out of trouble for five minutes, Rosalie thought
icily.
Another coven spontaneously decided to pass through the town and happened to catch her scent,
Alice thought, searching for a reason she didn't see them coming.
Poor dear, it must be terrifying knowing someone was in her home.
Esme's motherly kindness and concern took over her every thought, and I led Bella to the couch
to sit beside her. She put her arm lovingly around Bella's shoulder while I held Bella's hands
tightly in mine, careful not to crush her but feeling a desperate desire to hold her closer.
“Victoria?” Carlisle asked as I sifted through everyone's thoughts, trying to find something I
hadn't already considered.
“No. I didn't know the scent. He might have been from the Volturi, someone I've never met...”
Alice was quick to interject. “Aro hasn't asked anyone to look for her yet. I will see that. I'm
waiting for it.”
That was when it hit me. The reason one of them could have slipped through Alice's radar. She
was watching for the wrong thing.
“You're watching for an official command?”
“You think someone's acting on their own? Why?”
The Volturi presented a united front on the surface, but I'd had the opportunity to look into their
minds. It was fascinating the way Aro simply assumed the others would follow him blindly, yet
the more I heard, the more I realized that some of their loyalties were holding on by a very thin
thread.
“Caius's idea,” I said, remembering the way he'd been virtually ready to strike Alice and I down
when we refused to join them. And Bella … I was appalled at how quickly he had decided she
must be destroyed.
“Or Jane's ...” Alice added. “They both have the resources to send an unfamiliar face... ”
“And the motivation.” I felt my fists clench as I thought back to Jane's hate-filled mind. She was
drunk with the power, and willing to do whatever was necessary to hold onto her place of honor
at Aro's side.
From the moment Aro made his proposition to us she was furious, under the impression that
adding Alice and my talents to the mix would diminish her importance in his eyes. Then, when
she heard Aro discussing the possibilities of Bella's future powers, should she be changed and
choose to join them, a new wave of hatred took over. Her fury was fueled even more by the fact
that her particular talent had absolutely no effect on Bella.
Esme's words broke into my thoughts and I forced myself to relax, reminding myself of the
necessity of keeping a cool head.
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“It doesn't make sense, though,” she said, her arm still around Bella. “If whoever it was meant to
wait for Bella, Alice would have seen that. He – or she – had no intention of hurting Bella. Or
Charlie, for that matter.”
Bella went rigid at my side.
“It's going to be fine, Bella,” Esme said soothingly.
“But what was the point then?” Carlisle said, mostly to himself.
“Checking to see if I'm still human?” Bella asked, her voice surprisingly steady, like it was a
valid reason for them to have made a visit. I chose not to dwell on that.
“Possible,” Carlisle said. Then he glanced at me so quickly I was sure Bella hadn't seen. We may
have less time than we think.
My eyes widened, but before I had time to let the panic truly take over, Rosalie's bitter mind
distracted me.
Idiot's already made her choice, might as well get it over with and be done with it. Then they can
go run off to wherever it is they're going and leave the rest of us alone. So ridiculous …
constantly on the lookout … don't know how Alice can stand it …
As she launched into a string of incoherent insults, I felt miserable and hopeless. Rosalie, my one
strange but sure partner in the battle to keep Bella human, had finally given up. Even she was
tired of the fight, ready to give in for the sake of convenience.
As my thoughts grew more dejected by the second, Emmett and Jasper came running into the
house.
“Long gone, hours ago,” Emmett said, adding a silent apology to me. “The trail went East, then
South, and disappeared on a side road. Had a car waiting.”
“That's bad luck,” I said under my breath as an image of the wolf pack tearing the menace limb
from limb filled my mind. “If he'd gone west … well, it would be nice for those dogs to make
themselves useful.”
Bella's breath caught and I saw her shake. She was worried about her friends being in danger
because of her, just like she worried when my family took on James last year. One vampire
posed no threat to a coven our size, or a pack like the one Jacob ran with. Would she ever realize
that she was the only fragile, breakable one in the picture?
“Neither of us recognized him,” Jasper said. “But here. Maybe you know the scent.” He handed
Carlisle a piece of greenery, but when he smelled it, he shook his head dismally.
“No. Not familiar. No one I've ever met.”
“Perhaps we're looking at this the wrong way. Maybe it's a coincidence ...” Esme started to say.
Everyone's thoughts turned instantly skeptical – all except for Carlisle who was filled with
nothing but love and admiration.
My love, the eternal optimist …
“I don't mean a coincidence that a stranger happened to pick Bella's house to visit at random,”
she amended, taking in the expressions around her. “I meant that maybe someone was just
curious. Our scent is all around her. Was he wondering what draws us there?”

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“Why wouldn't he just come here then?” Emmett asked, eyebrow raised. “If he was just
curious?” To Emmett, everyone in the world had a tendency to make things more complicated
than they needed to be.
That's my boy, Esme thought with a grin.
“You would,” she said. “The rest of us aren't always so direct. Our family is very large – he or
she might be frightened. But Charlie wasn't harmed. This doesn't have to be an enemy.”
Please, Edward, for your sake and for Bella's, try to relax. Don't always assume the worst, she
silently pleaded. Carlisle was still watching her, awe in his eyes and his thoughts, while the rest
of us pondered the possibility.
It wasn't completely out of the question. With Bella's luck, and her being so prone to dangerous
situations, it would just figure that yet another random vampire would decide to take an interest
in her. Not that that made me feel any better about the situation. If anything, it added an element
of uncertainty that made me impossibly more nervous. At least if it was Victoria or one of the
Volturi, we knew what we were up against. What if this was another tracker like James? What if
he already had Bella's scent in his head and was looking for her right now?
I suddenly realized Alice was watching me indignantly.
I see that look on your face. Stop picturing some new horror, we have enough to worry about as
it is. I know I missed this one, but I won't let it happen again She's fine.
After I nodded reluctantly, she spoke aloud, her voice infused with confidence.
“I don't think so. The timing of it was too perfect … This visitor was so careful to make no
contact. Almost like he or she knew that I would see ...”
“He could have other reasons for not making contact,” Esme said calmly.
“Does it really matter who it was?” Bella asked, her heart racing. I knew that frightened sound,
recognized the panic in her voice. I knew what she was going to say before she said it. “Just the
chance that someone was looking for me … isn't that reason enough? We shouldn't wait for
graduation.”
“No, Bella,” I said firmly, though I'd learned by now that my unwavering tone meant basically
nothing to her where this subject was concerned. “It's not that bad. If you're really in danger,
we'll know.”
I shot a quick look at Carlisle, pleading with my eyes for him to be the voice of reason. I'd
concluded it was easier for Bella to listen to him where timing was concerned, since she knew he
supported her decision to be changed to begin with.
“Think of Charlie,” he said gently. “Think of how it would hurt him if you disappeared.”
“I am thinking of Charlie!” she shrieked. “He's the one I'm worried about! What if my little guest
had happened to be thirsty last night? As long as I'm around Charlie, he's a target, too. If
anything happened to him, it would be all my fault!”
“Hardly, Bella,” Esme said sweetly. It would be ours, for not protecting you the way we've
promised to. I could hear the hurt and worry as she allowed herself one brief moment to do what
she'd instructed me not to do – fear the worst. “And nothing will happen to Charlie,” she added,
gently stroking Bella's hair. “We're just going to have to be more careful.”

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“More careful?” Bella asked, her eyes unfathomable. Once again, I was left hating myself for
ever having brought this upon her. No one should have to fear for their lives and the lives of
those they love, because of the company they keep.
“It's all going to be fine, Bella,” Alice said, though her eyes were on me, her thoughts echoing
the sentiment as I held Bella's hand with all the strength I could allow.
Bella stayed with us a little while longer, and though she made no more mention of her
transformation date, I knew it was the foremost thing on her mind. By the time I drove her home,
she was practically sulking.
“You won't be alone for a second,” I promised, although I knew that wasn't what was bothering
her. “Someone will always be there. Emmett, Alice, Jasper ...”
“This is ridiculous. They'll get so bored, they'll have to kill me themselves, just for something to
do.”
Even when I knew she was kidding, her lack of concern for her well being always made me
nervous.
“Hilarious, Bella,” I muttered as we pulled into her driveway.
When we walked inside, Charlie's thoughts were … smug. And strangely hopeful, though I
couldn't tell exactly why.
“I'll be right back,” I told Bella as she cooked Charlie's dinner. I said it in as light a tone as I
could muster, but of course she understood what I was doing. It wasn't that I didn't trust Emmett
and Jasper to have thoroughly scoured the area, but if we'd learned one thing today it was that
things change quickly, and we can't necessarily see everything coming in advance. Things could
change in a matter of seconds.
I ran a quick circle around the house's perimeter, catching no unfamiliar scents, no sign that
anything wasn't exactly as it should be. I ran to the end of her street, then made a loop through
the surrounding wooded area. I was certain that if one of us was nearby, that would be the ideal
place to hide, undetected among the constantly changing scents of the forest.
When I was sure the area was clear, I made my way back to Bella's house just in time to hear
why Charlie had seemed so enthusiastic.
“Jacob called again,” he said pointedly the moment I'd walked through the door.
“Is that a fact?” Bella answered dryly. I had to suppress a grin at Charlie's crestfallen expression.
He must have been underestimating how upset Bella was with Jacob. Personally, I thought she'd
been very clear about the matter, but of course I was paying close attention.
“Don't be petty, Bella,” he said. “He sounded really low.”
“Is Jacob paying you for all the P.R., or are you a volunteer?”
Charlie's low mumbles blended perfectly with the cluttered confusion of his mind. He wanted to
know what Jacob had done to make Bella turn her back on him so completely, but he knew it
wasn't his place to ask. He was frustrated and at a loss, so he eventually excused himself to the
living room where he pretended to watch TV while listening intently to us.
“Good night, Bella,” I said politely – and deliberately loudly – smiling as Bella rolled her eyes.
“See you soon,” I added in a whisper, grazing her ear with my lips.

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It was a fast trip back home. Emmett was guarding Bella's house, and while I felt nothing but
confidence in his ability to protect her, I was feeling somewhat guilty for putting my entire
family out, and was eager to relieve him of his post.
I changed my clothes and asked Alice if she'd seen anything new.
“Nothing to report in town. And no changes in Italy as far as I can see. Everyone seems more or
less content, with no immediate plans to visit or check in.”
“Unless someone decides to come here on a whim,” I said dismally. “They all know the way
your ability works. Do you think someone could be using it against you, blocking you in a sense
by not planning ahead?”
“We've always run that risk. It's as true today as it ever was. The only difference is that now
something has happened to scare you, and it's made you more aware of the loopholes in my
power.” I'm sorry, she added silently, and a new wave of guilt hit me.
“Don't be sorry,” I said, forcing a smile. “I appreciate everything you do, and I'm sure it will be
enough.”
With a sigh, she nodded and left the room. She wanted to believe me as much as I wanted to
believe myself.
Without another moment's hesitation, I was running back to Bella's house.
All clear, Emmett thought when I came into view.
“Thank you,” I called softly to him as I climbed up into her window.
I'd been worried that Bella would have trouble sleeping, knowing that an uninvited guest had
been in her room, but she seemed surprisingly at ease. I suspected it was at least partly an act to
make me feel better, but I didn't dare question her, or make her think about it any more than she
likely already was.
Acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, we slipped seamlessly back into our
normal routine. Wrapped tightly in her quilt to shield her from my frozen skin, Bella curled up
into me as best she could, and I sung to her until she fell asleep. My fingers ran gently through
her hair while I listened intently for any sign of distress in her dreams. It was the one place she
couldn't hide from me or put on any type of bravado, so I was grateful when I heard nothing but
her normal sighs and declarations of love.
Charlie left early the next morning, allowing Bella and I a rare morning of uninterrupted
togetherness. I watched her eat breakfast, trying to decipher the meaning behind the nervousness
in her eyes as she glanced over at me. Surely she had plenty to fear, but I doubted that was what
this particular look was about. I wished I was wrong, but something told me Jacob was on her
mind, and that our short but enjoyable werewolf embargo was about to end.
“I'm going to let Jacob off the hook,” she finally said. I put on my very best, sincerest smile.
Staying out of it, not making her choices for her …
“I knew you'd forgive him. Holding grudges is not one of your many talents.”
Bella looked satisfied by my show of civility, and I watched in polite acceptance as she dialed
his number. I listened silently as he babbled out his inane apology, wishing I didn't notice the
way it made Bella's face light up. I didn't flinch when he invited her down for a visit. My careful
facade remained fully intact until he callously joked about making it up to her by taking her cliff
diving.

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A low snarl ripped through me, and I was grateful I'd opted to keep a bit of distance between
myself and Bella. Clearly it had been too low for her to hear, and I quickly reset the smile on my
face. Bella looked at me warily before declining his invitation.
“Not right now,” she said sadly.
“He's not thrilled with me, is he?” Jacob asked, and I was stunned when I realized he sounded
embarrassed. He must have known Bella would have told me exactly what he said. Perhaps he
did actually realize how heartless and foolish he'd been.
“That's not the problem,” Bella explained. “There's … well, there's this other problem that's
slightly more worrisome than a bratty teenage werewolf...”
Couldn't have said it better myself, I thought, feeling rather proud of Bella.
When he asked what was wrong, I heard her hesitation. She could put on her brave face as much
as she wanted, but it was obvious she didn't want to talk about it more than she had to. In any
case, there was something I wanted to ask Jacob. I motioned toward the phone and Bella
scrutinized me, trying to figure out my intention.
“Bella?” Jacob asked when she remained silent.
I gestured again, reaching closer to the phone. I didn't understand her refusal. It wasn't like I
could reach through the phone and strangle him, as appealing as the prospect was.
“Do you mind speaking to Edward?” she finally asked cautiously.
“Okay,” he said after deliberating. “This should be interesting.”
The look on Bella's face as she handed me the phone was more than a little amusing. She was
staring at me wide-eyed, silently telling me to mind my manners. Though it was hard to believe,
I was actually finding it quite easy to keep my feelings toward Jacob in check. I'd started to
realize I would always have the upper hand because I understood something he didn't. Bella was
happier when I was nice to him.
“Hello, Jacob,” I said with a smile.
“Hi, bloodsucker. To what do I owe this displeasure?”
“Someone was here – not a scent I know,” I said, choosing to ignore him rather than play into his
game. “Has your pack come across anything new?”
“Nope. No vamps in our territory. They all know better,” he said pompously, though I could hear
a twinge of nervousness in his voice. “You know, just because there's some new parasite running
around, that doesn't give you the right to keep Bella away if she wants to come here. She'd be
perfectly safe with us. No one's going to get past us, and you know it.”
“Here's the crux, Jacob. I won't be letting Bella out of my sight till I get this taken care of. It's
nothing personal – ”
“You don't own her!” he spat. There was a pause, and when he spoke again, his voice was
calmer. “Now, don't think that I don't get it. You guys are together and she wants to spend the
majority of her time with you. I don't like it, but I'm not going to try to fight her on it. I already
messed up once. Anyway, I figure you're going to be out trying to find this mystery vampire, and
all I'm saying is that while you're out searching, you should let her be here. The whole pack is on
constant vampire watch, we'll keep her safe.”
“You might be right – ” I started to agree, but apparently he wasn't listening anymore.

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“Come to think of it, why aren't you out trying to find him right now? If it were me, I wouldn't
rest until I'd caught the filthy bloodsucker.” He paused, an idea forming in his mind. “In fact, if
it's open vampire season up there, what would you say to granting the wolves an all access pass
if we happen to catch the scent while he's on his way to Forks. I could maybe talk to Sam about
allowing you guys the same access, if you caught the scent tracking him toward La Push. I don't
know if he'll go for it, but it seems stupid to risk losing the trail over some boundary line.”
“That's an interesting suggestion. We're quite willing to renegotiate. If Sam is amenable.”
“I'll see what I can do. Keeping that thing away from Bella is the most important thing right now.
I think even Sam will understand that.”
“Thank you.” It was amazing how fighting for a common good can put everything in
perspective.
“So,” Jacob continued, “when you do go out tracking this thing, who's going with you? I mean,
does Bella have enough bodyguards left over?”
I thought about my promise to always have one of my family members with her during the short
periods of time when I wasn't there. I'd also been entertaining the idea of taking a slightly longer
tracking expedition, just to check all the surrounding areas, and while I'd considered taking
Emmett and Jasper along, I much preferred the idea of going by myself and leaving the rest of
them to watch over her. Strength in numbers seemed like the best way to go.
“I'd planned to go alone, actually. And leave her with the others.”
“Oh, come on. If you're taking off, let Bella come stay with us. Then you can take the whole
vampire hunting party if you want, and you don't have to worry about her. Like I said, we're on
constant watch here. Nothing's getting through.”
I thought briefly about it, trying my best to ignore the sick feeling in my gut at the thought of
willingly turning her over to the wolves' protection. But, as much as I hated to admit it, he did
have a point. They were quite capable where tracking was concerned, and they wouldn't hesitate
for one second to rip whoever this was to pieces. They might have even finished off Victoria, if
the issue of the boundary line hadn't come into play. And now we were working on making that
line slightly less of on issue.
“I'll try to consider it objectively. As objectively as I'm capable of,” I said.
“Hey, do you think I can stop by there and catch a whiff of the leech's scent while it's still
strong? It'll be easier to track him if I know exactly what I'm looking for.”
“That's not a half-bad idea. When?”
“The sooner the better. Now, if that's okay. I mean, if you can pry yourself away from Bella long
enough for me to step in for a few minutes.”
I was well past being irritated with his childish mockery. We were taking steps toward finding
our intruder. That was all that mattered.
“No, that's fine. I'd like a chance to follow the trail personally, anyway. Ten minutes ...”
“And you'll be gone by the time I get there?”
“Certainly.” I turned to Bella who was watching me with expectant eyes. “Bella?” I said,
handing her the phone.
“What was that all about?” she asked the moment the phone was to her ear.

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I tuned Jacob out politely while he told her the plan, however, when Bella warned him not to do
anything risky, I heard him laugh at the same time I did. My Bella. After all this time, she was
still always worried about the wrong things.
“You're coming up?” she said, after another minute. The excitement in her voice and eyes was
impossible to miss.
“Jake, I really don't like the idea of you tracking – ” she said worriedly, and I rolled my eyes. A
moment later, she hung up the phone and turned to me, disbelieving.
“Yes, we're calling a temporary truce,” I said gently. “Some things are simply more important
than century-long rivalries.”
She was still watching me skeptically as I ran my fingers through her hair, stopping to rest my
hand on her cheek.
“Don't worry about us, Bella. Either of us. We're both fine, and more than capable of handing
this. All you have to do is keep yourself safe, and we're happy.”
I smiled as she relaxed under my touch. She truly was the most extraordinary creature I'd ever
met. Somehow, this beautiful girl was special enough to both the vampires and the werewolves,
that the rules were being changed. Maybe it wouldn't last beyond this immediate threat, but I
could feel a perceptible shift in the balance between our family and the tribe. As strange and
unsettling as it might be, we were now fighting the same enemy. And that changed everything.

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Scent – EPOV
“Is this really necessary?” she asked for the third time in under five minutes. It was taking longer
to get out the door than I'd anticipated, and I was risking possible werewolf exposure if she didn't
let me leave.
Bella was practically pouting when we finally said our goodbyes at the door. As grateful as I was
that Jacob had agreed to help us find our mysterious unwanted guest, it didn't mean I was willing
to be in the same room as him.
“It's not that I feel any personal antagonism toward him, Bella,” I explained, though I knew it
was only partly true. “It's just easier for both of us. I won't be far away. You'll be safe.”
“I'm not worried about that,” she said sulkily.
I smiled, thrilled by the idea that even one afternoon apart seemed like too much for her. When I
thought of Jacob getting to spend time with Bella when what she and I really wanted was the rest
of the day alone, I decided the least I could do was leave him with a little reminder of my
presence. I reached out to take her hand and pulled her into my arms, breathing in the luxurious
scent coming off every strand of her hair. And as I breathed her in, I let my own breath wash
over her.
In the little time I'd spent around Jacob, I'd discovered something that seemed to be inherent in
our respective genetic makeups, reflecting the way we felt about each other. I couldn't be sure
exactly what we smelled like to the wolves, but based on the revolting stink that seemed to
saturate them, I assumed it wasn't pleasant. It may have been petty, but I hoped that aside from
reminding him that Bella had spent the morning in my arms, it would serve the dual function of
deterring him from wanting to get too close to her.
Bella shivered slightly as I pulled away and I worried for a moment that my icy breath had
chilled her. However, the hazy look that had taken over her eyes assured me it was the good kind
of shiver.
“I'll be right back,” I said, laughing as I pictured the look on Jacob's face when he inevitably
pulled her in for a hug.
“What's so funny?” she asked, but of course I would never admit to having given in to such a
childish prank.
Although I considered staying nearby long enough to hear his response, in the end I decided I'd
acted immature enough for one day. Besides, if I stayed for five minutes, it would be too easy to
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stay the whole time, and I had already decided to venture a bit closer to the treaty line in an
attempt to pick up any trace of the intruder.
It was a quick run toward La Push, and although Jacob had said he'd talk to Sam about allowing
us greater access for the sake of the hunt, I didn't want to cross the line unless I needed to. I
scoured the surrounding areas but came up short, as I'd expected. There was nothing but the
normal variety of wildlife – and the general smell of wet dog, but that was to be expected, given
where I was.
I wondered how long Jacob was planning on staying. I'd only been gone about a half an hour, but
I was already anxious to get back. I decided to head back to Bella's but promised myself that if
he was still there I would wait patiently, and at a respectable distance, until he was ready to
leave.
As I passed Bella's mailbox, I stopped to see if any college acceptance letters had arrived. I had
no doubt that she would have her pick of schools, should she decide to try college out for awhile.
All I could do was hope that one of them was appealing enough to make her want to delay her
change for a bit longer, though nothing had sparked even the slightest bit of interest so far. Still, I
was thrilled to see a large envelope from Dartmouth, one of the schools I took the liberty of
applying to for her. Maybe once she was actually holding the letter in her hand, she would
realize the possibilities.
Tucking the letter inside my pocket, I made my way up to the house. Much to my amusement,
the first thing I heard when I stepped onto the porch was, “Ugh, your hair stinks worse than your
room.”
I smiled to myself, not only entertained by his response, but happy to know it was the first time
during their visit he had been close enough to notice. I listened quietly as they joked about the
smell, and was startled when Jacob abruptly told her, “See you around, Bells.”
“Are you leaving?” she asked. The sadness in her voice tugged at my heart. I wanted to give her
everything that made her happy, but it was difficult to accept that sometimes he was what she
wanted.
“He's waiting for me to go,” he explained. “I can hear him outside.” Just couldn't stay away,
could you? he added silently.
It was hard to get used to the idea that Jacob could hear my presence as well as I heard his. At
least he couldn't hear my thoughts, although I suspected he knew the general idea. Just as he was
about to leave, he paused, his thoughts growing patronizing.
Hey, you don't mind if I borrow your girlfriend for the evening, do you? We already decided I
can keep her safe, so no big deal, right? You know, assuming you can stand to let her out of your
sight for longer than a half an hour.
I bit back the growl rising in my throat as he extended the official invitation to Bella – a bonfire
on the beach. I knew I had no right to ask her not to go. All I could do was listen to whether or
not she would accept.
“C'mon, you think somebody's going to get past all – all six of us?” Jacob urged when she
hesitated.
“I'll ask,” she said, obviously torn, but for what reason? Was she finally showing an ounce of
concern for her well being, or was she worried about what I would say if she told me she wanted
to go?

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“Is he your warden, now, too?” Jacob scoffed. “You know, I saw this story on the news last week
about controlling, abusive teenage relationships and – ”
“Okay! Time for the werewolf to get out!” she yelled, making me smile.
“Bye, Bells. Be sure you ask permission,” he said. I know you're listening so just... could you
please let her come and don't make her feel bad about it?
The sincerity I heard shocked me. He was asking me to allow her to visit – not making a snide
remark about controlling her or trying to goad me into it, but actually asking me. I'm not sure
what my expression showed when I walked into the room, but before Bella had even seen me, it
changed. I was distracted by an overwhelming scent; familiar, although something about it was
off. It confused me for a moment, but then I saw the bloody knife on the counter. Ah. Werewolf
blood. Here I thought I'd arrived in time for all the fun, but it looks like I missed the real
excitement. Maybe he had tried to get close to her earlier and she was making her feelings about
it known.
I sighed. Wishful thinking, I'm sure.
“Did you two get into a fight?” I asked.
“Edward!” she said excitedly, closing the distance between us in seconds and throwing her arms
around me.
“Hi, there,” I said, returning the embrace. It was good to know that no matter how disappointed
she'd seemed to be when Jacob left, it was nothing compared to the enthusiasm she showed at
my return. “Are you trying to distract me? It's working.”
“No, I didn't fight with Jacob. Much. Why?”
“I was just wondering why you stabbed him. Not that I object,” I teased, motioning toward the
knife.
“Dang! I thought I got everything.” She sounded so apologetic, I wondered if I should explain
that smelling wolf blood had precisely the opposite effect as smelling human blood. It if was
possible for a vampire to get sick, that would be the scent that would cause it. Before I could say
a word, she was at the sink scrubbing away at it.
“I didn't stab him,” she said. “He forgot he had a knife in his hand.”
“That's not nearly as fun as the way I imagined it.”
“Be nice,” she warned, though there was a hint of teasing in her voice.
Good or bad, I'd had enough of any conversation involving Jacob, so I decided it was time to
unveil what I thought was a very exciting acceptance letter.
“I got your mail,” I said, feigning nonchalance.
“Anything good?”
“I think so.”
I hoped as I handed her the letter, that seeing it, actually holding it in her hand, might make her
just the slightest bit excited.
“Dartmouth? Is this a joke?” she asked incredulously. I just sighed and tried tactic number two;
reminding her that we would be there together. She always said that was all she cared about.
“I'm sure it's an acceptance. It looks exactly like mine.”
“Good grief, Edward – what did you do?”
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“I sent in your application, that's all.” No need to mention what Carlisle did. The school of
medicine now had significantly more scholarship money available for incoming students. He
hadn't even blinked. He'd been happy to do it, whether Bella ended up attending the school or
not.
“I may not be Dartmouth material, but I'm not stupid enough to believe that.”
“Dartmouth seems to think that you're Dartmouth material,” I said, smile fixed firmly on my
face. It didn't matter how she got in. If it was what she wanted, that's where she would go. I had
no doubt in her abilities, and if she needed a little extra help with the class load, that's where I
came in. I could tutor her in any subject she decided to take. I loved the idea that all my time
attending college after college would actually go to some use, other than to occupy my endlessly
bored mind.
“That's very generous of them,” she said slowly, like the words were causing her physical pain.
“However, accepted or not, there is still the minor matter of tuition. I can't afford it, and I'm not
letting you throw away enough money to buy yourself another sports car just so that I can
pretend to go to Dartmouth next year.”
I hated that she still thought I was doing all this so that she could simply pretend to go to school.
Why was she so opposed to trying it out for a year? Most high school seniors couldn't wait to get
to college and experience the freedom of finally being on their own. Of course, I'd always known
there was nothing usual about Bella's reaction to normal human events and life changes.
“I don't need another sports car. And you don't have to pretend anything. One year of college
wouldn't kill you. Maybe you'd even like it. Just think about it, Bella. Imagine how excited
Charlie and Renee would be...”
And suddenly, for the briefest of moments, I saw a touch of wonder in her eyes. Although it
faded almost as quickly as it had appeared, I knew then that I'd found the key to my last shred of
hope. Maybe she would never consider staying human longer for herself, but for her parents...
“Edward, I'm worried about living through graduation, let alone this summer or next fall,” she
said, interrupting my moment of happiness. The look of joy and anticipation for the life I so
wanted her to have was now replaced by one of fear. I was determined not to let her make the
choice that would forever steal her humanity because she was afraid. How could I ever live with
myself?
I pulled her into my embrace, wishing she would believe me when I swore to keep her safe.
Unlike me and the rest of my family who had no other choice, Bella was a healthy – if not a bit
unfortunate – girl, with the rest of her life before her.
“No one is going to hurt you,” I promised. “You have all the time in the world.”
“I'm mailing the contents of my bank account to Alaska tomorrow,” she said stubbornly. “It's all
the alibi I need. It's far enough away that Charlie won't expect a visit until Christmas at the
earliest. And I'm sure I'll think of some excuse by then. You know, this whole secrecy and
deception thing is kind of a pain.”
She looked up at me with a tiny smile. I knew she was trying to make a joke and keep the subject
light like she always did, but her teasing words were too near the truth. She had no idea how
difficult it was, living the way we do, never allowing yourself to get too close to anyone for fear
of discovery.
“It gets easier,” I said bitterly, finding it harder than usual to hide my displeasure. “After a few
decades, everyone you know is dead. Problem solved.”
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The miserable expression that took hold of her made me instantly remorseful. Although it was
something she would inevitably have to think about, there was a better time and place to bring it
up, and certainly a more tactful way.
“Sorry, that was harsh,” I apologized.
“But still true,” she said, her eyes vacant and glazed over. Inexcusably, I took advantage of her
moment of sorrow.
“If I get this resolved, whatever it is we're dealing with, will you please consider waiting?”
“Nope.”
“Always so stubborn.”
“Yep.”
Her washing machine made a loud sound in the otherwise quiet room, and she mumbled, “Stupid
piece of junk,” as she reluctantly left my arms.
“This reminds me,” she said as she adjusted the towel. I could still smell a faint trace of wolf
blood on it. “Could you ask Alice what she did with my stuff when she cleaned my room? I can't
find it anywhere.”
That surprised me. Alice wasn't exactly compulsively clean, and I couldn't imagine her
voluntarily cleaning Bella's room. Raiding it and throwing out all clothes she deemed
unacceptable, perhaps, but not cleaning.
“Alice cleaned your room?”
“Yeah, I guess that's what she was doing. When she came to get my pajamas and pillow and stuff
to hold me hostage.” She was glaring at me now, but my mind was already somewhere else. I
was sure if Alice had been bothered enough by Bella's room to clean it, she would have said
something to me, or at least allowed her mind to wander to it at some point. “She picked up
everything that was lying around, my shirts, my socks, and I don't know where she put them.”
It took about five more seconds for the pieces to come together, and when they did, I felt like an
absolute fool for not having realized it sooner. I should have thought to ask if anything was
missing the moment we knew someone had been in her room.
“When did you notice your things were missing?” I asked, though I was certain I already knew
the answer.
“When I got back from the fake slumber party. Why?”
“I don't think Alice took anything. Not your clothes, or your pillow. The things that were taken,
these were things you'd worn... and touched... and slept on?”
“Yes. What is it, Edward?” She still didn't understand, and I hated that I had to say the words out
loud. The idea that this intruder actually had her things made me furious, and I could only
imagine the sense of violation it would bring to Bella.
“Things with your scent,” I said softly.
“Oh!” she gasped, her eyes widening. She watched me in silence while the gravity of what that
meant sunk in, and after a few moments, she whispered, “My visitor.”
“He was gathering traces... evidence. To prove that he'd found you?” I wondered. It would make
sense if it had indeed been a member of the Volturi checking to see if she was human, but I still
had my doubts that any of them were involved. No other scenario made sense, though. What

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other vampire would take along items that smelled like a human, especially one with a scent as
sweet as Bella's? Why would they torture themselves like that?
“Why?” she finally asked, and I wished I was any closer to an answer for her than I'd been when
the whole mess started. If anything, I was more confused.
“I don't know,” I admitted dismally. “But, Bella, I swear I will find out. I will.”
I pulled her close again, hoping she could feel the absolute promise in my voice.
“I know you will,” she whispered, her soft cheek pressed tightly to my chest. I could feel her
heart beating frantically against me, though she was clearly trying to exude a calm confidence.
Her faith in me was overwhelming. It made me all the more determined to solve this mystery
quickly, and once again put her fears behind her.
A few minutes later, my phone vibrated, breaking our shared moment of peace.
“Just the person I need to talk to,” I said when I saw Carlisle's number. “Carlisle, I – ”
“Edward, have you seen today's paper? The situation in Seattle is getting out of hand. And it's
not just the sheer volume of deaths, but the manner in which they're happening. They're very
sloppy, Edward. Vicious, and with no attempt to hide the evidence.”
“I'll check it out,” I said, his words only partly registering. My attention was elsewhere. “Listen,
I'm not quite sure yet what to make of this, but we just figured out that whoever was in Bella's
room didn't leave empty handed.”
“They took something of hers?” he asked, the concern in his voice obvious.
“Yes. Several somethings to be precise. Things that would have her scent all over them. What do
you think it means?”
“It sounds like something the Volturi would do, but Alice remains confident it isn't one of them.
And with none of us recognizing the scent, it seems very unlikely.”
“That's the same conclusion I came to. I just don't know what to think, Carlisle. But I can't stand
the thought of someone having her things.”
“I know, I don't like it either. I'll fill Alice in on what you've told me. Now, Edward, I know you
have a lot on your mind, but Emmett was thinking of making a quick run up to Seattle to see if
he can find any pattern to the chaos. I know it's not our place or responsibility to interfere, but
whoever is causing all this destruction isn't that far away, and if there's any indication they're
heading this way, it's best we know about it beforehand.”
“Maybe I'll go...” I said, but as I glanced toward Bella, her eyes still fearful, I couldn't see myself
having the strength to leave her, even for a couple of hours. “Maybe not,” I amended. “Don't let
Emmett go alone, you know how he gets. At least ask Alice to keep an eye on things. We'll
figure this out later.”
“Of course. And you know Alice is always watching.”
With that, I hung up the phone. Although it couldn't be the foremost thing on my mind, Carlisle's
worried tone had made me curious. Always the picture of composure, it wasn't often he let his
anxieties show.
“Where's the paper?” I asked Bella, still not sure how much I should share with her. Did I really
need to give her one more thing to worry about?
“Um, I'm not sure. Why?”

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“I need to see something. Did Charlie already throw it out?”
“Maybe...”
I ran quickly out to the recycling bin and fetched the paper. It only took a few seconds to find the
headline Carlisle was talking about. My eyes scanned the article, horrified at how fast the murder
total was rising. Even the most vicious of vampires with little to no regard as to whether or not
he was discovered couldn't be the sole cause of so many deaths. Not unless he was purposely
trying to get caught.
With a stab of pain, I remembered a time not so long ago when I had wanted to get caught
breaking the rules. Of course I hadn't needed to kill anyone in order to be discovered. Even in my
darkest of hours, I would never have taken an innocent life to ensure the end of my own. There
are other ways.
Still, the idea that this was the work of a suicidal vampire was far-fetched. It seemed much more
likely that they simply didn't know better.
“It's getting worse,” Bella said. I hadn't realized she'd been reading over my shoulder.
“Altogether out of control,” I said, more to myself than to her. “This can't be the work of just one
newborn vampire. What's going on? It's as if they've never heard of the Volturi. Which is
possible, I guess. No one has explained the rules to them... so who is creating them, then?”
“The Volturi?” she asked, panicked.
“This is exactly the kind of thing they routinely wipe out – immortals who threaten to expose us.
They just cleaned up a mess like this a few years ago in Atlanta, and it hadn't gotten nearly this
bad. They will intervene soon, very soon, unless we can find some way to calm the situation. I'd
really rather they didn't come to Seattle just now. As long as they're this close... they might
decide to check on you.”
Her eyes were wide with terror and she looked paler than usual. “What can we do?”
“We need to know more before we can decide that. Perhaps if we can talk to these young ones,
explain the rules, it can be resolved peacefully.” Even as I said it, my words felt impossible. I
couldn't imagine reasoning with a group of newborns who'd already proven they had absolutely
no self control. “We'll wait until Alice has an idea of what's going on.... We don't want to step in
until it's absolutely necessary. After all, it's not our responsibility.” I didn't want it to end in a
fight – we already had enough to deal with – and Carlisle hated the idea of killing anyone, even
if they themselves were merciless killers. Cringing, I remembered how difficult it had been for
him to admit that killing James was the only answer. Emmett, I feared, would be all too eager to
take on a group of newborns. If the rest of us weren't there to reign him in, he'd probably already
be in Seattle. His headstrong, confident nature was usually not a problem, but in this case, it
made me nervous. He didn't fully understand what we were up against.
“But it's good we have Jasper,” I said softly, grateful for the first time for his brutal history. “If
we are dealing with newborns, he'll be helpful.”
“Jasper? Why?” she asked.
I smiled, despite my trepidation. He would most likely be happy to know that his past was finally
going to be good for something. “Jasper is sort of an expert on young vampires.”
“What do you mean, an expert?”
“You'll have to ask him – the story is involved.” Involved... and brutal. And therefore, censored.
I, of course, knew every detail, and over the decades I'd lost track of what he'd actually spoken
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aloud and what I'd learned through inadvertent listening. I respected him and his privacy enough
not to say much about his past for fear of revealing something he'd intended to keep to himself.
He would never admit, not even to Alice, the extent to which the guilt still plagued him over the
atrocities he was involved in, and how it was made worse for him every time he felt his self
restraint weaken.
“What a mess,” Bella mumbled. Exactly what I was thinking.
“It does feel that way, doesn't it? Like it's coming at us from all sides these days.” My own guilt
once again set in when I thought of all the different ways I was risking the life of the person
whom I'd sworn to protect. If it wasn't vindictive vampires bent on revenge, or the werewolf
whose arms I'd basically thrown her into, it was out of control newborns who happened to have
chosen the northwest for their rampage. Okay, technically that wasn't my fault, but if it weren't
for me, Bella would believe it was just some serial killer like everyone else. Instead, she had to
live with the fear that came from knowing the truth. I sighed, hating how thoroughly I seemed to
have disrupted her life.
“Do you ever think that your life might be easier if you weren't in love with me?” I asked
miserably.
“Maybe. It wouldn't be much of a life, though.”
“For me,” I whispered, overcome by the unconditional love I saw when I looked into her eyes. It
was more than I deserved. In that instant, I remembered what I'd overheard her talking to Jacob
about. I'd taken so much from her, the least I could do was try to give her anything and
everything that made her happy. No matter how insane it seemed to me.
“And now,” I said, smiling with as much sincerity as I could muster, considering what I was
about to say. “I suppose you have something you want to ask me?”
She looked genuinely perplexed. “I do?”
“Or maybe not,” I said, smiling. Who was I to remind her if she'd already so conveniently
forgotten? Be reasonable, give her what makes her happy... I reminded myself. “I was rather
under the impression that you'd promised to ask my permission to go to some kind of werewolf
soiree tonight.”
“Eavesdropping again?” She didn't sound surprised, or particularly bothered. For some reason,
that made me smile.
“Just a bit, at the very end.”
“Well, I wasn't going to ask you anyway. I figured you had enough to stress about.”
Yet again, she was giving me more than I deserved. I took a step closer to her until I could feel
her heart pounding in her chest. I reached up to cradle her face and watched her eyes carefully as
I asked the question I was sure I already knew the answer to.
“Would you like to go?”
“It's no big thing,” she lied. “Don't worry about it.”
“You don't have to ask my permission, Bella. I'm not your father – thank heaven for that.
Perhaps you should ask Charlie, though.”
“But you know Charlie will say yes,” she said, a hint of a smile playing at her lips. I'd have to
remember that smile while she was away, to remind myself why I was momentarily sacrificing
my sanity.

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“I do have a bit more insight into his probable answer than most people would, it's true.” One of
the most constant trends in Charlie's often confused mind was that Jacob was good, someone to
be trusted. The peace that seemed to wash over him when he thought of Jacob and Bella being
together was rivaled only by the concern he felt when he thought of her relationship with me. I
felt certain I would never completely undo the damage I'd done by leaving her, at least as far as
Charlie was concerned. I couldn't expect to, really. Not when I thought of what he'd been put
through, taking care of Bella during those desolate months.
I watched as first confusion, then indecision washed over Bella's face. I knew she wanted to go,
but she was finally considering my feelings on the matter, the way I'd wanted her to all along. It
gave me even more confidence in my decision.
“Bella,” I said, looking deeply into her eyes so she'd know I meant it. “I told you that I was going
to be reasonable and trust your judgment. I meant that. If you trust the werewolves, then I'm not
going to worry about them.”
“Wow,” she said, still watching me with disbelieving eyes.
“And Jacob's right – about one thing, anyway – a pack of werewolves ought to be enough to
protect even you for one evening.” I nearly laughed. I wondered if they realized keeping Bella
safe was a full time job.
“Are you sure?” She was giving me an out, a guilt free escape that would keep her beside me
instead of relinquishing her care to the wolves. I considered taking it, but the smile that was
threatening to break through her expression reminded me that my first and foremost task was
keeping her happy – I owed her that much after all she'd been through because of me.
“Of course,” I said, my smile locked in place. “Only... ” It was with great difficulty that I was
entrusting her to Jacob's watch, something I was sure Bella was aware of, and I felt certain she
would grant my few small requests. “I hope you won't mind taking a few precautions? Allowing
me to drive you to the boundary line, for one. And then taking a cell phone, so that I'll know
when to pick you up?”
“That sounds... very reasonable,” she hedged, clearly waiting for the catch.
“Excellent,” I said as calmly as I could manage. There was no point in letting her know I was
screaming on the inside. No good could come from showing how miserable the idea of handing
her over to a pack of immature dogs made me. She wanted to spend time with them, and I had no
right to refuse. I'd left her, hurt her in the most inexcusable way, and I'd sworn that if it took my
entire existence, I would make it up to her.
I just hated that my vow involved letting her go where I could not follow.
I listened with measured patience as Bella spoke with Jacob, explaining that I'd agreed to drive
her to the boundary line and that I would pick her up when the bonfire was over. Though I tried
not to listen to Jacob's side of the conversation, it was impossible not to hear the smugness in his
tone.
Our meeting was set for six o'clock, so there wasn't enough time to unveil the surprise I had
waiting for Bella at home. It was something that had been playing around in my mind since I'd
heard about Bella's motorcycle escapades while I'd been away. Although I hated the idea of
sanctioning more reckless behavior on her part, the moment I purchased my new silver
motorcycle, I knew I'd made the right choice. She had downplayed it, but I could tell how much
she'd enjoyed the exhilaration of riding, and I wanted to give that happiness back to her. And it

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would be even better now, because she would be able to ride for the pure enjoyment of it, rather
than as a way of reconnecting with what she'd lost.
I had left her so broken that she'd felt the need to go to ridiculous extremes to hear my voice. I
might have been more upset about her risking her safety for something so absurd, but if I had
been able to conjure up a crystal clear hallucination of her, I too would have done anything to
achieve it. I would have run around Volterra taunting the Volturi like a madman for one moment
with my imagined Bella.
So, I put my nervousness aside – after all, I would be there to catch her before she could hurt
herself – and decided to buy myself a bike so we could ride together. I felt a small twinge of guilt
when I thought of how greatly Charlie would disapprove of her being back on a motorcycle, but
honestly, there weren't many of his rules I wasn't breaking, so why not add one more to the list?
There was one very important difference, however, between when Jacob had taken her out and
what I was planning. It actually made me furious that he hadn't insisted on it from the beginning
of their insane recreational activities. Along with my bike, I'd also purchased Bella appropriate
riding attire, including a top of the line motorcycle helmet. Not that I intended on letting her fall,
but still, there was no reason to take any chances.
I'd allowed my mind to wander as Bella finished her conversation with Jacob, and I realized with
a start that she was now talking to me.
“Do we have time?” she asked.
“I'm sorry, love, my mind was somewhere else.”
“It's okay. I was talking to myself more or less. I'm just used to you hearing everything, whether
I think you're listening or not,” she said with a tiny smirk. “I wanted to know if we have time to
go back to your place and pick up my motorcycle. Since I'm not exactly using it these days, I
figure I should give it back to Jacob. Maybe he can sell it and make some money. I feel terrible,
all the time he put into those bikes, and now we can never ride together anymore.”
My heart sank at her dejected expression and the tone in her voice. I don't know why it had never
occurred to me before that moment. The idea of riding with me wouldn't thrill her the way I'd
intended it to, because it wasn't about the bikes. It was about Jacob. This was something special
she'd shared with him.
I nodded solemnly, feeling like a complete fool, and we drove in near silence all the way to my
house. As we entered the garage, it was too much to hope that she wouldn't think anything of the
silver motorcycle sitting next to her own. Although fast cars were something of a fascination to
myself and my family, Bella knew none of us had any particular interest in motorcycles. There
was no mistaking the purpose of this bike.
“What is that?” she asked, eyes wide.
“Nothing.”
“It doesn't look like nothing.”
I forced a smile, determined not to let her know how disappointed I was. “Well, I didn't know if
you were going to forgive your friend, or he you, and I wondered if you would still want to ride
your bike anyway. It sounded like it was something that you enjoyed. I thought I could go with
you, if you wished.”

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A look of unexplained sadness came over her as she stared at our bikes, and I wondered if I'd just
unwittingly reminded her of the horrible time we'd spent apart. Just as I was about to apologize
for making such a heinous mistake, she whispered, “I wouldn't be able to keep up with you.”
Happy that this concern, at least, was one I could dispel immediately, I reached out to take her
face in my hands. I touched her cheeks, her lips, willing her eyes to find mine so she could see
how very content I would be riding with her, if it would make her happy.
“I'd keep pace with you, Bella.”
“That wouldn't be much fun for you.”
“Of course it would, if we were together.”
She seemed lost in thoughts for a brief moment, her brow pulled together in concentration.
Perhaps it hadn't been a mistake. Maybe I could give her this small joy once again.
“Edward,” she finally said, “if you thought I was going too fast or losing control of the bike or
something, what would you do?”
I paused, beginning to understand why riding with Jacob was such a thrill for her. With him,
there was still an element of danger. Though I'm sure she knew he would never let her get
seriously hurt, he also wasn't about to hurl himself out to catch her if she started to tip over. She
knew as well as I did that I couldn't say the same for myself.
“This is something you do with Jacob,” I said, trying to smile. I wouldn't let her feel guilty. “I
see that now.”
“It's just that, well, I don't slow him down so much, you know. I could try, I guess....”
She was trying to make me happy, humoring me and nothing more.
“Don't worry about it,” I said, laughing when I realized exactly what I was going to do with it.
Alice must have already seen this coming. It would explain why she was so eager to help me
pick out which bike to purchase. She wasn't shopping for me. She was shopping for Jasper. “I
saw Jasper admiring it. Perhaps it's time he discovered a new way to travel. After all, Alice has
her Porsche now.”
“Edward, I – ”
I kissed her quickly, unwilling to let her feel any remorse. The only reason I'd bought it was
because I thought it would make her happy. If that wasn't the case, then there was no point in
spending one more second thinking about it.
“I said not to worry,” I assured her when our lips parted. “But would you do something for me?”
“Whatever you need.”
I reached around her and grabbed the jacket and helmet I'd picked out. Just because she didn't
want to ride with me, didn't mean she wouldn't want to ride at all. Although I hated that I
wouldn't be there to catch her when she inevitably fell, I did feel marginally better knowing at
least she would be better protected than in previous attempts.
“Please?” I asked when she eyed the helmet skeptically.
“I'll look stupid,” she protested.
“No, you'll look smart. Smart enough not to get yourself hurt.” I reached out to touch her face
again, suddenly more aware than usual how fragile it felt in my hands. “There are things between
my hands right now that I can't live without. You could take care of them.”

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“Okay, fine. What's the other thing?”
“It's a riding jacket,” I said, laughing at the things humans had to use to protect themselves. I
guess there were a few advantages to being a vampire. “I hear road rash is quite uncomfortable,
not that I would know myself.”
Reluctantly, she put the helmet on and shrugged into the jacket. It was such a different look from
her normal attire, and the scowl on her face as I zipped her up made her look oddly ferocious –
or at least ferocious for Bella. I grinned at the image before me. My sweet Bella, glowering at me
from inside a sea of thick, black leather.
“Be honest, how hideous do I look?” she asked.
I stepped back to really take her all in. It was the first time she didn't appear entirely breakable,
and for the briefest of seconds, I imagined her as I was – strong, powerful, unstoppable...
I quickly stopped that train of thought. What was wrong with me?
“That bad, huh?” she asked, and I realized she was still waiting for a response. There was no way
I was telling her what had just passed through my thoughts, so I tried to put it the best way I
could.
“No, no, Bella. Actually...” I paused. There was no other way to say it. Though it pained me to
think of her losing her mortality, I had to admit I was attracted to that fierce, unrelenting image
of Bella – strong and unbreakable, standing at my side. “You look... sexy.”
“Right,” she laughed.
“Very sexy, really.” For once, it was easier that she wouldn't believe me. It saved me from
having to explain why I was finding her particularly sexy at this moment.
“You are just saying that so that I'll wear it. But that's okay. You're right, it's smarter.”
I pulled her close to me, laughing under my breath. After all this time, she still didn't see herself
clearly.
“You're silly. I suppose that's part of your charm. Though, I'll admit it, this helmet does have its
drawbacks.”
I took off her helmet, letting her hair fall in waves around her shoulders. I kissed her, reminding
myself as I did that she was still soft and fragile. For some reason I was finding it harder than
usual to keep my kiss gentle. I tried not to think about the reason why as another image of Bella,
pale skinned and hard as marble, assaulted me, unbidden.
“I suppose I have to let you go,” I said as I pulled gently away from her.
“Oh, I don't really need to go,” she answered, somewhat breathlessly.
“Now, don't start that. It's taken a great deal to convince myself to spend an evening apart from
you. Don't tempt me to change my mind.”
She looked at me like she was considering it, so I quickly shuffled us outside and into the car. I
knew how much she wanted to go down to La Push tonight, even if in this exact moment she
wasn't sure.
Bella was fairly quiet during the drive until she finally turned to me with the strangest
expression.
“You know what this reminds me of? It's just like when I was a kid and Renee would pass me off
to Charlie for the summer. I feel like a seven-year-old.”

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I had to laugh, but decided not to comment. We were getting closer to La Push and I needed to
keep myself focused and calm if I was going to get through the exchange. I heard Jacob before
we saw him, and even though he was getting his way, his bitterness hadn't lessened. I couldn't
understand it. After all, he and Bella were about to spend the evening together with me nowhere
in sight, not able to come near her no matter how desperately I wanted to, leaving him more or
less in charge of how long the evening the lasted.
Still don't understand what he's playing at, he thought just before we came into view. Oh, great.
His posture stiffened when he saw us and I could hear him trying to block his mind from me. He
started thinking about inconsequential things, his obvious irritation at my talent seeping through
the best of his efforts. He finally gave up when Bella waved at him warmly, smiling at her before
sarcastically adding, thanks for letting Bella come out and play.
“Call me whenever you're ready to come home, and I'll be here,” I told her when we'd parked. I
was getting more nervous every second, but the happiness on Bella's face made it clear there was
no turning back.
“I won't be out late.”
Jacob waited, watching in confusion, as I unloaded Bella's motorcycle from my car.
Gonna let her ride with the big boys? he thought acidly. Though I see not without a bit of
protection. What? You don't trust me to keep her in one piece? I did a pretty good job of it while
you were M.I.A.
“Do you have it all?” I asked Bella, ignoring Jacob and trying to muffle the snarl that was
threatening to rip through me.
“No problem.”
The malice in Jacob's every thought multiplied the moment I leaned toward Bella. Although I
was trying not to be as spiteful and petty as him, I succumbed to a moment of weakness, pulling
Bella tightly to me and kissing her feverishly.
Filthy, disgusting, creepy as hell... how can she stand it?
Jacob worked quickly to try to silence his mind, but he was too far gone. I laughed under my
breath as I released Bella from my embrace.
“Goodbye,” I said softly, thrilled to hear her heart was racing. I wondered if he could hear it too.
I wasn't sure exactly how acute their senses were. “I really do like the jacket,” I added, grinning
as she blushed.
She walked slowly away from me, almost as if she was giving me one last chance to rescind my
offer. A wave of terror passed briefly but violently through me as the reality of who I was
sending her off to hit me, but I buried it as swiftly as I could manage. I didn't want her night to
be marred by feelings of guilt. Whatever suffering I was about to put myself through was my
problem, not hers.
Because he loved making things as difficult as possible for me, Jacob narrated Bella's steps,
telling me exactly what I already knew.
Almost to the line... what are you going to do when you can't come after her? Just a few more
feet... it's out of your hands now, isn't it, bloodsucker?
I snarled quietly, unable to hold it in any longer but unwilling to upset Bella. Jacob just smiled as
I got back into the car, watching, glaring..

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“What's all that?” he asked, turning his attention to Bella when she was just a few steps away.
“I thought I should put this back where it belongs.”
This time, his enthusiasm outweighed his desire to silently antagonize me. All I heard was a list
of all the places he'd wanted to take Bella riding but assumed he'd never get the chance to. He
wasn't taunting me. He was simply ecstatic.
Jacob didn't waste any time. The second Bella's foot crossed the boundary line, he scooped her
up into an overtly showy hug.
All mine, he though wryly. My foot instinctively pressed down on the gas, reflexes twitching,
wishing I could just go run him over, but I stopped when his mind silently added what he hated
and what would keep me sane. For a few hours, anyway...
I'd had just about all I could take, so with that thought, I forced myself to drive away, leaving my
only love with a creature I only knew how to hate. Still, deep within in me I could feel that she
was safe. For Bella's sake alone, I would allow myself to be momentarily grateful for how deeply
Jacob cared for her. His love, foolish and fruitless as it was, would protect her until she was back
in my arms.

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Waiting – EPOV
It never got any easier to drive away from Bella, but tonight it was harder than usual. Of course,
it didn't help matters any that I was leaving her with a pack of immature, reckless, out of
control...
No. I couldn't let myself think that way or I'd never get through the evening. I watched in my rear
view mirror until Bella and Jacob were out of sight. The moment I could no longer see her, I felt
a stabbing pain in my chest, as if I were feeling my heart stop beating all over again. It was
everything I could do not to turn around and go back for her – tell her I'd changed my mind, that
there was too much danger and uncertainty with her intruder still on the loose. She'd understand.
She had already given me many chances to stop her from going. I knew without any doubt that if
I called her and asked her to come back to the boundary line, told her I needed her to come home
with me, she would comply.
Which was why I made myself keep driving.
As difficult as it was for me to understand, spending time in La Push with the friends she'd made
during my absence was important to Bella, and I had promised not to let her miss out on any
experiences she deemed important. That promise felt especially meaningful with graduation and
her intended transformation date looming before us, nearer every second of every day.
I tried to occupy my mind on the drive home, and thinking about graduation and making the
most of Bella's remaining human days had given me an idea. I hadn't thought of anything
specific and had little more than a vague idea of what I wanted to do, but that didn't stop Alice
from already being one step ahead of me. As soon as I'd stepped through the front door, she was
at my side.
“I'd love to help, of course, but just so you know, she's not going to be happy. And we're not
surprising her. I'm not doing anything to upset Bella like that. She is almost officially my sister,
you know.”
I glared at her, but it did nothing to deter the smile on her face. Alice was far too eager for Bella's
change to let my feelings on the matter put a damper on her excitement.
“Fine, no surprises,” I said grudgingly. “Now, can you tell me how many of her friends will
actually come to a graduation party if we have it here? The point is to let her spend as much time
with them as she can and that won't work if they're all too nervous to show up.”
Alice closed her eyes for a moment, a look of serenity on her face as we both watched the future
unfold. While a number of Bella's friends still harbored some ill feelings toward me, it didn't
appear that anyone would pass up the opportunity to finally see where the elusive, mysterious
Cullen family lived. Everyone invited would accept the invitation, and Bella would be able to
spend the evening celebrating the end of her high school career with her classmates.
I was no longer foolish enough to think that a desire not to lose her school friends had any effect
on the choice she'd made. I had been watching her start to withdraw from even those she felt
closest to for quite some time. I wasn't entirely sure if it was intentional – after all, she was fairly
preoccupied with rogue vampires and werewolf gatherings – but whether or not she intended to, I
could see Bella was already preparing herself for her imminent goodbyes.

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“Alice?” I asked as her eyes opened again. “You don't see any chance of Bella changing her
mind, right?”
She smiled angelically at me. “You would know if I had, wouldn't you?”
“Right,” I said skeptically. “Like you've never shielded your thoughts from me.”
“But why would I shield something like that?”
“Because if Bella was showing even the slightest bit of doubt, you know I would latch onto it
and use it to try to change her mind.”
“I promise you there is no doubt whatsoever that she wants to be one of us. She is ready to be a
part of this family. The only variation I ever see is in how she's changed.” She paused, looking
deeply into my eyes, her tone more serious than I'd heard in a long time. “She wants it to be you,
Edward.”
“But not enough to agree to marry me.” It was impossible to disguise the hurt in my voice.
“It's true, marriage is the last thing on her mind right now, and as much as I'd like to, I can't tell
you I've seen visions of wedding bells. She's not there yet. But sometimes I can clearly see you
being the one to change her, and since I know how stubborn you are, I can only assume that
means there are times she's considering agreeing to your proposal.”
My eyes widened in surprise – surprise, and hope.
“Don't get ahead of yourself,” Alice warned. “Remember, you haven't even proposed to her
properly yet.”
“I know, and I feel like I'm running out of opportunities. Graduation is going to be here before
we know it, and right now, she seems determined to stick to that deadline.”
“You'll think of something,” she said, grinning impishly before starting to mentally sing the
alphabet backwards. Subtle.
I retreated to my room, trying not to look at the clock on the way. It felt like it had been hours
since I'd left Bella, but I was sure it had been more like minutes. There was no use driving
myself crazy worrying about her, so instead, I forced myself into the best distraction I currently
had available – staring at my mother's wedding ring and imagining it on Bella's finger.
It all seemed so simple. We'd found each other, we were in love, we both knew we would never
want anyone else for the rest of eternity... so what was stopping us? Bella was more than willing
to give up everything in her human life for immortality, yet she couldn't fathom binding herself
to me in this way. The conundrum once again filled me with doubts that my rational mind
couldn't silence. Did she really want me forever, or did she simply want forever?
I was more than aware that Bella had developed a glorified picture of what our existence was
like, and what hers would soon be like if everything went according to her plans. I often
wondered if she would go through with it if she knew what the burn in our throats felt like each
time we were near humans. If she truly understood the pain that came with self control and the
empty, hollow feeling of never getting what our bodies naturally craved, how could she possibly
doom herself to that life?
I was certain she didn't think about such things. She thought about never having to be afraid
again, never worrying about Victoria or the Volturi coming after her. She saw herself strong and
unbreakable. Immortal. Wasn't that what all humans wanted – the secret to eternal life, youth,
and beauty? Was I really the reason for her desire to leave the fragile, mortal human race, or was
I merely the means of achieving it?
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I quickly forced the thought out of my mind, almost hearing Bella tell me I was being ridiculous.
Still, while it seemed like she truly loved me despite my deplorable nature, I could never
completely shake that feeling of doubt. She'd forgiven me for all my sins, even those I
committed before she knew me, yet how could one as pure and blameless as Bella want to spend
one lifetime, let alone eternity, with a creature like me?
I stared at the ring, the only real tie I had left to my own human life, and wondered how much
simpler things would be if only I could be human for Bella. I wanted so badly to give her the life
she deserved, to give her me if that was what she really desired,without making her sacrifice
anything. But that was impossible. She wanted us to be the same, and if I couldn't be human for
her, there was really only one choice.
I'd be lying to myself if I didn't admit it would make my life a lot easier. Although I knew there
was no way I would ever hurt Bella, that fact didn't do anything to lessen the agonizing burn I
still felt every time we were together. I'd grown used to it, though not immune. In fact, I was
certain that even a lifetime together wouldn't take away the pain. The only thing that could take
away the call of her blood was to stop it from pumping through her veins, but wishing for such a
thing would only make me more of a monster than I already am.
So many times I felt certain I would give anything just to know she's safe, to be sure nothing
would ever take her from me. Yet I couldn't take her humanity for my peace of mind. I could
never reconcile damning her to a life of darkness in order to keep her light shining forever in
mine.
But if she's already made her choice...
With a sigh, I placed the ring back inside its box, and returned it to its hopefully temporary home
inside the nightstand. I could feel the weight of the ring even when I was no longer holding it,
and my mind wandered back to the other half of our very confusing equation. We were talking
about forever, and I needed our forever to begin with the irrefutable knowledge that I am hers
and she is mine.
Although I had no way of knowing when or if she would change her mind, somehow, I could
envision what the moment would look like. In my mind, I'd already placed my mother's ring on
Bella's finger, and pictured it bringing a smile to her face and light to her eyes. I could so clearly
see that instant when she would finally say yes, and it was to that image I now found myself
clinging as I felt the seconds tick by. Cringing, I wondered how long a pack of mangy wolves
could keep her entertained.
Once again, all I could do was wait. Lately, it felt like waiting was all I ever did. I was waiting
for Victoria to be close enough for us to strike. I was waiting for Bella to decide whether she was
willing to marry me to get what she claimed she wanted more than anything. Waiting for the end,
waiting for the beginning... waiting for the change I dreaded yet couldn't deny the allure of.
I waited, with morbid anticipation, for the day I would no longer have to fear losing what matters
most to me.
At half past eleven, the phone rang.
“Bella,” I breathed, relieved.
“Sorry to disappoint, bloodsucker,” Jacob answered coldly, though his voice was only a whisper.
“What's wrong?” I asked, panicking. I flew down the stairs and was already outside, climbing
into the Volvo when he spoke again.

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“Relax, will you. Everything's fine. Bella fell asleep, that's all. She's right next to me and I'm
driving as we speak.”
“Oh.”
“Don't sound so surprised,” he said, his voice scathing. “You didn't really think I'd let anything
happen to her, did you?”
“No. If I had, I wouldn't have let her go.”
“Let her?” he spat, indignant. “You know, I'm getting a little tired of this controlling thing you've
got going on. At some point, Bella's gonna get tired of it too.”
“That's not your concern. And, as I'm sure you know, Bella is perfectly capable of speaking her
mind. If she's having a problem with my behavior, she'll tell me.”
“Yeah, well, I'd wait in line and buy tickets to be at that show,” he muttered. “Anyway, we'll be
to the line in a few minutes. I assume you don't want me to just drive her home myself?”
“There will be no need for that. I'm pulling up right now.”
“Of course you are.”
With that, the phone went silent. I parked the car and waited with as much patience as I could
muster. I saw headlights at the same moment I heard a string of insults from Jacob's mind. It was
easier to ignore them once Bella was in my sight. I could see her sleeping form in the passenger's
seat, and a moment after the car stopped, she startled herself awake.
I listened silently as Jacob explained that he had called me for her. I waited patiently while they
exchanged pleasantries regarding the evening, but when Jacob starting talking about how nice it
was having her there with him, I got out of the car and started to pace.
“Yeah, he's not so patient, is he?” I heard him say. “Go ahead. But come back soon, okay?”
I bit back a snarl, though even I knew it was unjustified. The smile on her face told me she'd had
a good time, and as far as I could tell, there wasn't anything wrong with her. Jacob had fulfilled
his end of the bargain and kept her safe, so at least as far as Bella was concerned, I couldn't fault
him.
They exchanged good-nights and Bella rushed toward me, smiling widely in the darkness. Her
radiance lit up the night sky.
“Bella,” I breathed as I scooped her up. I never fully realized how empty I felt without her until
she was in my arms again.
“Hi. Sorry I'm so late. I fell asleep and – ”
“I know. Jacob explained,” I said, stopping her. There was no reason for her to apologize. “Are
you tired? I could carry you,” I offered as she walked, still half asleep, beside me.
“I'm fine.”
“Let's get you home and in bed. Did you have a nice time?”
“Yeah – it was amazing, Edward.” Despite her exhaustion, I could see the spark of excitement in
her eyes. “I wish you could have come. I can't even explain it. Jake's dad told us the old legends
and it was like... like magic.”
I watched her brilliant smile, and for one fleeting moment, nothing mattered – not werewolves,
rivalries, treaties or boundary lines. In that instant, Bella's happiness transcended it all.
“You'll have to tell me about it,” I said, smiling. “After you've slept.”
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“I won't get it right,” she mumbled, yawning. I laughed as I buckled her in, hoping she could get
some more sleep on the drive home.
Until next time, leech, Jacob thought as he pulled away. Bella waved at him, but he was too busy
glaring at me to notice. I smiled to myself as I realized this would always be his biggest mistake.
He was too busy hating me to think about what that hate was doing to Bella. I'd paid enough
attention to know she was happier when we at least tried to get along.
As I'd hoped, Bella drifted back off to sleep, and I was able to set up the evening's plans. I knew
she was uncomfortable with the precautions I was taking, worrying that she was putting us out,
but my family was more than willing to go to whatever lengths necessary to keep her safe. After
all, we still didn't know precisely what we were up against.
I dialed the number without taking my eyes off of Bella. Even after all our nights together, I
never tired of watching her sleep.
“We're almost to Bella's house,” I said when I had Esme on the phone. “I won't be long tonight, I
just need to bring the car home then I'll be heading right back. Is Alice on her way?”
“Actually, I am. Alice went with Jasper, along with Rose and Emmett. They're going to check
out the situation in Seattle.”
“Has something new happened?”
“Just more of the same. There have been several more deaths. Carlisle is worried the Volturi will
intervene at any time, and the last thing we want right now is them stopping in for a visit.”
I fought back the growl building in my chest. They were the only ones even more eager than
Bella for her to join our race. For Aro, the reason wasn't simply because she was a human who
knew too much. He'd taken a particular liking to her, speculating what special abilities she would
have after her transformation, given her mind's strange ability to block his and my powers.
“Is Carlisle in Seattle, too?”
“No. He's working late at the hospital tonight. We had hoped to go there together in the morning.
Will you need one of us to keep watch while you run home tomorrow morning?”
I sighed. “I suppose it isn't really necessary. I'll only be gone a few minutes and I'm sure Jacob is
close by. No one is going to get past him.”
She smiled, obviously satisfied. “Thank you. I really think its best if we all go.”
“It's hard to believe how out of control this has gotten, and how fast.”
“I know. Let's hope it ends just as quickly. Maybe if whoever is responsible sees us and realizes
they're being watched, they'll move on.”
I was silent. We both knew the chances of that were slim. If we were in fact dealing with
newborns, they wouldn't be thinking rationally enough to care that they were being monitored.
“I'll see you in a few minutes,” I finally said.
“I'm on my way.”
Esme was already at the house when we pulled up. And so was Jacob. I couldn't see him, but I
could hear him. As soon as he realized I was there, he went back to trying to block me by
thinking about inconsequential things, slipping in an occasional insult now and again. It was
getting surprisingly easy to ignore him.
“Bella, sweetheart, we're home.”

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“What?” she muttered.
“You just need to wake up enough to get inside and say goodnight to Charlie, then you can fall
right back to sleep in my arms.”
“He's going to be mad I'm so late,” she said, waking up slightly.
“Jacob called him as well, so he wasn't worried. He's not upset at all.” Charlie was never upset
when Jacob was involved. I wondered how he would feel if he knew Jacob's secret, though I had
a feeling consorting with werewolves would still rank higher than dating a vampire on his list of
acceptable activities.
“I'll see you soon?” Bella asked with a smile.
“Very soon,” I promised, kissing her.
I drove home as fast as my car would take me and ran back at record speed. Esme smiled warmly
at me when I came up beside her.
“Anything to report?” I asked.
“Besides the presence of Bella's own personal watchdog?” she teased.
“Persistent, isn't he?”
“He cares about her.” Her voice was chiding and I could sense her mothering instinct taking
over. She was the only one of us who managed to harbor absolutely no ill will towards the
wolves.
“I know he does,” I sighed.
“And this is Bella we're talking about. It doesn't hurt to have an extra set of eyes watching over
her, at least until she's strong enough to take care of herself.”
She raised a knowing eyebrow at me and I couldn't help but smile. Even with Alice's visions and
Jasper's empathy, somehow Esme always seemed to know me just a little better than the rest of
my family. She knew that no matter what I felt about Jacob personally, a part of me would
always be grateful to him for helping take care of Bella, both now and when I'd been absent. She
also knew that no longer having any need to keep him around was, in my mind, just about the
most appealing aspect of what life would be after Bella's transformation.
“I'll let you know if I hear anything from Alice.”
“Thank you. And thanks for coming over here tonight.”
“I'm happy to do it. Tell Bella 'pleasant dreams' for me.”
“I will.”
As I climbed noiselessly through Bella's window, I thought I heard a low howl from somewhere
in the darkness.
“Is Jacob out there?” Bella asked, and I wondered for a moment if she'd heard it too.
“Yes... somewhere. And Esme's on her way home.”
The look on her face made me wish I hadn't said anything, though I couldn't understand why she
wasn't happier knowing she was never left without someone keeping watch.
“It's so cold and wet. This is silly,” she complained.
“It's only cold to you, Bella.”

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She looked like she wanted to protest, but instead, she yawned. I smiled, pulling her into my
embrace.
“You've had a long night and you need your sleep.”
She nodded, yawning again as she trudged to the bathroom for her nightly routine. Her eyes were
half closed when she came back, and she crawled into bed, pulling me toward her drowsily. I
held her tightly to me, wishing as she drifted to sleep that her thick quilt weren't necessary. I
wanted to be closer, but I also didn't want her shivering from the cold.
“Esme wishes you pleasant dreams. As do I, my love,” I whispered, but she'd already slipped
back into unconsciousness.
Despite our wishes for only happy dreams, Bella slept restlessly, murmuring incoherently for
hours before finally settling into what seemed to be a dreamless state. I ran my fingers through
her silky hair and sang softly to her, hoping to coax her nightmares away. Eventually her
breathing slowed and she grew silent.
When I was certain my movement wouldn't disturb her, I turned to the book that was sitting on
her nightstand. I was always curious what story was currently occupying her mind, and I wasn't
surprised to find Wuthering Heights sitting there, tattered and worn from its countless readings.
I knew she'd been reading it again, though I couldn't understand why. I always thought that in
order for a story to be enjoyable, the reader needed to be able to relate to the characters in at least
some small way. Heathcliff and Catherine were cruel, selfish, and spiteful, everything Bella's
not, and I didn't comprehend her fascination with their relationship. Determined to find some
redeemable quality in the characters Bella seemed to love so much, I picked up her worn copy
and started reading.
I'd read it before, of course – there are few of the classics I hadn't read during my years of
endless nights – but this time, I was surprised to find myself commiserating with Heathcliff.
Though I could never condone his drastic actions, I had to admit I understood him better than I
ever had before. He'd been forced to watch the woman he loved choose someone else, and the
jealously had driven him mad. The extremes to which that particular emotions can drive a person
had always been somewhat lost on me, but since Bella, I'd started to gain a new understanding.
Still, no matter how jealous, how miserable he had been watching his beloved Catherine in the
arms of another, while Edgar remained in her favor, nothing could make Heathcliff act on a
desire to harm him. As long as Heathcliff believed Catherine to be happy with Edgar, he would
do nothing to disturb that happiness.
Just as I knew I would never harm Jacob, even if Bella were to have chosen him over me.
In the stillness of the night, as if Bella had figured out how to read my mind, her eyes shot open
and her body shook. She pressed her warm cheek against my chest and breathed deeply.
“Did I wake you?” I asked quietly, dropping her book carelessly in my attempt to hold her close.
She seemed so distressed.
“No,” she said, relaxing almost instantly as I wrapped my arms around her. “I had a bad dream.”
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
“Too tired,” she muttered. “Maybe in the morning, if I remember.”
“In the morning.”
“What were you reading?” she asked, her eyes already closed again.

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I felt like a child who had been caught doing something they weren't supposed to, though I
couldn't entirely explain the feeling.
“Wuthering Heights,” I admitted softly, hoping she'd already fallen back asleep.
“I thought you didn't like that book.”
“You left it out.” Her breathing slowed and I could tell she was very nearly asleep again. Then,
for some reason, I wanted her to understand. I needed her to know that no matter what pain it put
me through – even if it meant tolerating that mongrel for as long as he lived – I would always put
Bella's happiness before my own. “Besides...” I continued, wondering if she was still listening,
“the more time I spend with you, the more human emotions seems comprehensible to me. I'm
discovering that I can sympathize with Heathcliff in ways I didn't think possible before.”
“Mmm,” she breathed.
“I swore I'd never hurt you, so as long as you care about him, as long as it's in my power, I will
never hurt him.”
I waited for a response, some sign that she trusted what I was telling her, but her steady breathing
told me she was asleep once more. I listened carefully, making sure her previous nightmare
didn't return, but the rest of the night passed without a sound. When the first glimpse of light
shone through her window, Bella started to stir.
“Good morning, my darling,” I whispered as she nuzzled into the crook of my arm.
“Always, when you're here,” she said, smiling up at me through still tired eyes.
“Do you want to tell me about your dream now?”
“I don't remember much about it. I know there was a storm and I was cold. I'm pretty sure I was
on the beach, and I think Jake was there.” She stopped, her eyes suddenly wide and a little
embarrassed.
“Go on,” I encouraged, making sure my expression was still relaxed.
“That's it, really. The rest is kind of a blur. I just know I was relieved when I woke up, and I was
happy you were here to warm me up.”
I laughed. “I warmed you up?” I asked skeptically. “But I'm freezing.”
She ducked her eyes away from me, blushing, and I realized what she meant.
“Your skin might be,” she said shyly, “but I still feel warm and safe when you're here with me.”
“I'm always here, Bella,” I said, leaning down to press my lips to hers. I felt her warmth against
my skin as her heart started to speed up. I was enjoying the moment, thrilled as I always was that
she was so unwilling to let me go. But when her breathing started to grow erratic and her fingers
laced into my hair, I realized I would again have to be the one to stop.
“I'll be back soon,” I promised, trying not to see the disappointment on her face as I pulled away.
I ran quickly home, and when I arrived to find my house empty, I remembered that the rest of my
family was in Seattle. I felt somewhat guilty as I remembered Esme's words.
I really think its best if we all go.
My whole family was in Seattle, doing their best to get the situation under control, while I stayed
in Forks. Of course they understood there was no way I was leaving Bella unprotected, but I still
wished there was something I could do to help.
Just as I was about to call Alice, I saw a note in her handwriting on top of the piano.
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Edward, we're fine. Stop worrying. Go be with Bella. I know you want to help, but remember,
we're doing this for her, too. You are helping us by keeping her safe.
I smiled, thankful as I often was that there was really no point arguing with Alice.

Time – EPOV
Why does Bella have to be the only person on the face of the planet who hates parties?
It was the end of the day and Alice, Bella, and I were walking toward the car. I'd been idly
tracing patterns on the back of Bella's hand when I noticed the longing on Alice's face. I raised
one eyebrow at her and she sighed.
A surprise party really would be so much more fun, but if we spring it on her without any
warning, she's going to pretend to get food poisoning and end up hiding in your room all night.
Oh, well. At least she's going to let me pick out her outfit.
Her expression softened slightly as I rolled my eyes.
Always more perceptive than I give her credit for, Bella looked up at me then, questions in her
eyes. I smiled reassuringly at her before shooting a pointed glance at Alice. It was time to tell
Bella what she was planning. The last thing I wanted was Bella thinking something was wrong.
She always grew paranoid when she knew things were being said that she couldn't hear.
All right, I'll ask her now, Alice thought, skipping to Bella's side. So impatient for someone with
endless time on their hands...
I'd decided it would be best for Alice to broach the subject of the party herself. After all, it was
nearly impossible to say no to Alice's wild plans when she told you that you'd already agreed to
them.
“I have foreseen...” she said mysteriously, and Bella's breath caught. I threw my elbow at Alice.
So much for making Bella feel better.
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“Fine,” she said. “Edward is making me do this. But I did foresee that you would be more
difficult if I surprised you.”
“In English?” Bella asked warily.
“Don't be a baby about this. No tantrums.”
“Now I'm scared.”
“So you're – I mean we're – having a graduation party. It's no big thing. Nothing to freak out
over. But I saw that you would freak out if I tried to make it a surprise party.” I mean really, talk
about taking things for granted. I wish someone could surprise me with a party, but unless
someone spontaneously decides...
I reached out to Alice playfully, breaking her from her rant. I actually wished there was a way to
surprise Alice. It would be entertaining to see the look on her face when she realized someone
was finally one step ahead of her.
“And Edward said I had to tell you,” she continued. “But it's nothing. Promise.”
Bella looked utterly defeated. “Is there any point in arguing?”
“None at all,” Alice answered angelically.
“Okay, Alice. I'll be there. And I'll hate every minute of it. Promise.”
Although I knew she was being purposely difficult, I couldn't help but wonder if the party was a
mistake. Was I once again pushing her into something she had no interest in, simply because I
thought it was an important experience?
“That's the spirit!” Alice said enthusiastically. I would have almost believed it if it weren't for the
fact that she was simultaneously thinking, so stubborn. “By the way, I love my gift. You
shouldn't have.”
“Alice, I didn't!”
“Oh, I know that. But you will.”
Bella's eyes widened in panic and I shot another glare at Alice.
What? I just thought she'd like to know how much I'm looking forward to the concert. You know,
so she doesn't have to worry about whether or not I'll like it.
“Amazing,” I sighed. “How can someone so tiny be so annoying?”
“It's a talent.”
“Couldn't you have waited a few weeks to tell me about this?” Bella asked, obviously irritated.
“Now I'll just be stressed that much longer.”
She has no idea how close it is, Alice thought unconsciously, her mind slipping for one brief
second to a vision of Bella's transformation before looking at me apologetically. She was so
eager to welcome Bella officially into our family, and it always seemed like Bella was just as
eager, so we were both shocked that she hadn't literally been counting down the days.
“Bella,” she asked cautiously. “Do you know what day it is?”
“Monday?”
Alice rolled her eyes with a sigh. “Yes. It is Monday... the fourth,” she said, whirling her around
so she was staring at one of the many posters announcing the graduation date. Bella looked like

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she was seeing it for the first time, but for weeks now, the posters had been taunting me. Every
day, they reminded me with silent finality that Bella's heartbeats were numbered.
“It's the fourth? Of June? Are you sure?” she asked, panicked.
She's afraid, Edward. But she isn't changing her mind.
Alice answered the question before I'd even finished thinking it. Of course I knew Bella's mind
was made up, but the look of terror on her face was enough to make me momentarily question
her resolve. Now I felt my own eyes widen in surprise.
“It can't be!” she gasped. “How did that happen?”
Get her walking again. She's upset, and you should get her somewhere you two can actually talk.
She might slip and say something she shouldn't if we stay here.
I carefully took Bella's elbow and motioned her toward the parking lot. We walked quickly and I
counted every one of her breaths, which were coming in short, shallow gasps. When we were
inside the car, I noticed that the fear on Bella's face had been replaced by a strangely vacant
stare.
Eventually, as Alice started babbling about party details, Bella's expression twisted back into one
of confusion and concern. She looked like she was trying to figure out the answer to a difficult
math equation, and I figured whatever panic she'd felt at her impending graduation had turned
back into worry over the social event she was being forced into.
She was silent, even after we'd dropped Alice off at home. Her eyes were glazed over and she
looked exhausted. We pulled up to her house and I watched her carefully as we exited the car.
She looked like she was counting her steps, concentrating on each one. Once we were inside, I
guided her to the couch and sat her down beside me. She stared absently out the window as I
stroked the back of her hand, wondering where her thoughts had taken her. Was she really that
upset about the party?
Maybe she was worried because she'd misunderstood the reason we were having it. Perhaps she
thought I was trying to strengthen the bond she shared with her friends, to give her a reason to
delay her transformation. In truth, I was doing the opposite. As much as it pained me to admit it,
this party signified the end. I was giving her a chance to say her goodbyes.
Several times, it looked like she was about to say something, but she always stopped herself,
looking past me rather than meeting my gaze. When I was sure I couldn't take it anymore, I let
out a deep sigh.
“Would you please tell me what you are thinking?” I pleaded. “Before I go mad?”
Once again, she opened her mouth in what appeared to be an attempt at speech, but just as
quickly, she shut it again. Her eyes were almost apologetic, and I wondered if she was about to
back out of the party altogether.
“Your lips are white. Talk, Bella.”
She let out a long breath, and when she spoke, her voice was shaking.
“The date took me off guard. That's all.”
I waited, feeling the sudden weight of words she didn't want to say out loud.
“I'm not sure what to do... what to tell Charlie... what to say... how to... ” Though she was
struggling with what she was trying to say, I understood.
“This isn't about the party?”
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“No. But thanks for reminding me.”
She watched me with a look I wasn't used to seeing – she was afraid. It was nothing like the fear
I used to assume I would see when she realized what I was or what I was capable of. She'd never
been afraid of me the way she should have. Yet now here she was, true fear behind her eyes, and
the reason for that fear was because she was about to get what she'd sworn she wanted more than
anything.
“You're not ready,” I said softly, trying with all my might to assure her that was okay.
“I am,” she said unconvincingly, her voice still trembling. She wanted to appear brave, and it
pained me to see her try so hard. “I have to be,” she continued firmly.
“You don't have to be anything,” I promised her.
Her eyes turned glassy as she whispered, “Victoria, Jane, Caius, whoever was in my room...”
All the people who were trying to harm her, all the dangers I'd brought upon her...
“All the more reason to wait,” I said, almost to myself. I would not allow her to end her life
because she thought it was the only way she would be safe. I'd hunt them all down myself before
I let her be frightened into this decision. This is her life we were talking about, her humanity, her
soul, and if she was having even the slightest of doubts, then promise or no promise, all bets
were off. We would waiting until she's ready.
“That doesn't make any sense, Edward!”
I held her face in my hands, so fragile, so warm and perfect. I hated that she was afraid. I hated
that she didn't trust I could protect her. I hated that she felt she had no way out, no choice but
immortality.
“Bella. Not one of us had a choice. You've seen what it's done... to Rosalie especially. We've all
struggled, trying to reconcile ourselves with something we had no control over. I won't let it be
that way for you. You will have a choice.”
I'd started to come to terms with Bella's decision because I was so sure it was what she truly
wanted. But the terror in her eyes could not be ignored. There was at least some measure of
doubt behind her determination, and until I saw that absolute certainty once again, I would not
allow the change to happen.
“I've already made my choice,” Bella said, her voice only slightly more calm.
“You aren't going through with this because a sword is hanging over your head. We will take
care of the problems, and I will take care of you. When we're through it, and there is nothing
forcing your hand, then you can decide to join me, if you still want to. But not because you're
afraid. You won't be forced into this.” My eyes were locked with hers and I hoped she felt the
absolute certainty there.
“Carlisle promised,” she said stubbornly, though her words didn't have the same air of finality as
they usually did. “After graduation.”
“Not until you're ready,” I repeated. “And definitely not while you feel threatened.”
The look on her face was frustration mixed with defeat, and I knew the conversation was over.
At least for the moment.
“There,” I said, pressing my lips to her forehead. She relaxed only slightly beneath my touch.
“Nothing to worry about.”
“Nothing but impending doom,” she halfheartedly teased.
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“Trust me.”
“I do.”
She'd always trusted me to keep her out of harm's way, even when it seemed nearly impossible to
do so, yet I heard the way her heart was racing. Even with my speed and strength, nothing was
certain. It made me ache that I would never be able to completely take her fear away. Not
without making her indestructible, that is.
“Can I ask you something?” she finally said after a very weighted silence.
“Anything.”
She paused for a moment as if what she was about to ask was difficult, so I was surprised when
she asked, “What am I getting Alice for graduation?”
I laughed at the fact that no matter what catastrophe was currently upon us, she could always find
something trivial to worry about.
“It looked like you were getting us both concert tickets – ”
“That's right! The concert in Tacoma. I saw an ad in the paper last week, and I thought it would
be something you'd like, since you said it was a good CD.”
“It's a great idea. Thank you.”
“I hope it's not sold out.”
“It's the thought that counts. I ought to know.” And seeing as Alice had already picked out what
she was going to wear to the show, I assumed Bella would be able to get tickets. Knowing I
would rather spend the evening with Bella, I'd already hinted to Jasper that I would bequeath
mine to him, and he and Alice could have an evening out together.
Bella let out a long breath, and when I noticed she wasn't looking me in the eye, I realized her
question about the gift had merely been buying her time. What was she afraid to ask?
“There's something else you meant to ask,” I prompted her.
“You're good.”
“I have lots of practice reading your face. Ask me.”
She scooted closer to me and ducked her head down, pressing her cheek to my chest. I could feel
her heart pounding as she built up the courage to ask whatever it was that was troubling her. As
they always did when I was wishing I could just read her mind, the seconds felt like they were
dragging on.
When she finally spoke, her voice was trembling, and there was a sadness behind it that I seldom
heard. “You don't want me to be a vampire.”
“No, I don't,” I said simply. To wish for such a thing, even when it seemed to be the only way to
ensure our forever, would be unthinkable.
I expected her to complain or argue with me, but instead she sat quietly, looking almost
embarrassed, though I couldn't understand why.
“That's not a question,” I finally said, when I couldn't take the silence any longer.
“Well...” she started, her cheeks blazing hot, “I was worrying about... why you feel that way.”
“Worrying?” Why would my desire to preserve her humanity cause her to worry? Although I
knew she wanted us to be the same, I thought she understood my reasons. I thought I'd made it
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clear a thousand times over how precious her life, her heart, her soul, everything about her was to
me. I'd be a murderer and a thief, worse than the monster I already knew myself to be, if I were
to take everything from her purely for my own selfish desires.
“Would you tell me why?” she asked, her voice unsteady and genuinely concerned. “The whole
truth, not sparing my feelings?”
I was baffled. Why would I hide any of my reasons, and how could any of them hurt her? They
could only prove my love for her more completely.
“If I answer your question, will you then explain your question?”
She nodded, though she still wouldn't look into my eyes. I took a deep breath before starting,
worried now that I would somehow offend her without meaning to. I couldn't stand knowing
how much this was hurting her, when all I ever wanted was to protect her, preserve her
perfection.
“You could do so much better, Bella,” I started, but the words didn't sound like enough. It was
the most absurd understatement I'd ever uttered. “I know that you believe I have a soul, but I'm
not entirely convinced on that point, and to risk yours...” I couldn't continue, couldn't make
myself speak of the travesty that seemed so imminent. She'd made her choice, there was no way
to deny her, but saying it out loud would give it more finality than I could handle.
I shook my head, turning the focus back to myself. It was what she wanted to know – why I
didn't want this for her, even when it would solve so many of the obstacles we faced by being
together.
“For me to allow this – to let you become what I am just so that I'll never have to lose you – is
the most selfish act I can imagine. I want it more than anything, for myself. But for you, I want so
much more. Giving in – it feels criminal. It's the most selfish thing I'll ever do, even if I live
forever. If there were any way for me to become human for you – no matter what the price was, I
would pay it.”
I hadn't known what brought on her question, or why she was worried about my answer, so I had
no way of knowing how she would react to my answer. It was more honest than I'd allowed
myself to be with her – more honest even than I was with myself most of the time – and
admitting that changing her was what my heart truly desired tore me apart. Could she forgive me
for my selfish desires if she understood the only reason I wanted it was because I couldn't live
without her? I looked down at her, terrified of what I would see on her face now that she knew,
and was startled to find she was smiling.
“So... it's not that you're afraid you won't... like me as much when I'm different – when I'm not
soft and warm and I don't smell the same? You really do want to keep me, no matter how I turn
out?”
“You were worried I wouldn't like you?” I gasped, disbelieving even as I repeated her words. A
part of me was furious at myself, because if she could think such a thing then I must not be doing
enough to assure her of my love. It had never crossed my mind that she took my refusal to
change her to mean I was questioning that I wanted her by my side forever. Then as quickly as
my self-loathing had set in, it passed, and I found myself laughing. Whether at the ridiculousness
of her assumption or out of sheer relief I wasn't sure.
“Bella, for a fairly intuitive person, you can be so obtuse!”
She stared at me, uncomprehending for a moment. Then slowly, a smile tugged at her lips. I still
didn't understand how she could have been so worried, when I'd told her time and again that I
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couldn't live without her. Certainly my trip to Volterra last year should have been proof enough
of that.
“I don't think you realize how much easier it will be for me, Bella, when I don't have to
concentrate all the time on not killing you.” I used to shy away from saying the word out loud,
but for some reason it seemed important to say it now. After thinking I'd lost her forever,
controlling the blood lust had become significantly easier. The instinct to keep her safe had long
ago triumphed over the instinct to satiate my own desires, but that didn't mean it wasn't still
painful. Now that I knew Bella was concerned I wouldn't like her when she was changed, I
wanted to remind her that taking away the temptation of her blood would grant me a release from
the agony I thought I would always have to endure.
Still, for every happiness, there is a sacrifice.
“Certainly, there are things I'll miss,” I said sadly, brushing my fingers across her cheek as I tried
to memorize the exact feel of her soft, warm skin. “This for one...”
She blushed under my touch and I laughed in spite of myself, as I thought about a time when her
reactions wouldn't be so obvious to me. Would I still be able to read her when I no longer had
her racing heart and blushing cheeks telling me how she felt? I hoped I would, though the
thought of finding new ways to understand and know her excited me as well.
“And the sound of your heart,” I said, focusing in on it, luxuriating in its melody. I'd spent so
long listening, counting the beats, I could hardly fathom a world without it. “It's the most
significant sound in my world. I'm so attuned to it now, I swear I could pick it out from miles
away. But neither of these things matter. This,” I said, cradling her face. My one love. My reason
for everything. “You. That's what I'm keeping. You'll always be my Bella, you'll just be a little
more durable.”
She closed her eyes, peaceful and serene as I traced my fingertips across her skin. Soon, I would
never have to worry about losing her again. She would be mine, forever.
Except...
She'd asked her question, and I had one of my own. I was both anxious and nervous to bring up
the subject again, but as graduation grew nearer everyday, I knew my time was running out.
“Now will you answer a question for me? The whole truth, not sparing my feelings?” I asked,
using the words she'd chosen. She'd been upfront about her concerns, and my total and absolute
honesty in answering her had put her mind at ease. I hoped that my own concerns were just as
unfounded, and that she could offer me an answer that would grant me the same relief.
“Of course,” she said quickly.
Now that the moment was upon me, I instantly wanted to take it back. I wasn't sure if I was
ready for her answer. I took a deep breathe and uttered the words that had been eating away at
me since she had refused my proposal.
“You don't want to be my wife.” It was amazing how much it hurt to say it aloud.
She gasped and I heard her heart jump, skipping a beat while she regained her composure. After
a moment, she said, “That's not a question,” throwing my own words from earlier back to me. I
slowly laced my fingers with hers, continuing in the same manner.
“I was worrying about why you felt that way,” I repeated.
“That's not a question, either,” she said, stalling. We could keep dancing around what we both
knew I was asking, but every second she evaded me, my silent heart seemed to break further. She
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said she wanted forever, yet I couldn't stop the little voice in the back of my mind from
repeating, she doesn't want to be your wife...
“Please, Bella?” I begged.
“The truth?” she said, barely whispering.
“Of course. I can take it, whatever it is.” I prepared myself for the worst. If she told me right then
that all she really wanted was to be a vampire – to be safe, to be immortal, without worry, never
afraid – I knew I would grant it to her. Whether she wanted me forever or not, I desired nothing
more than for her to be happy.
“You're going to laugh at me,” she said.
That was highly unlikely. It was hard to think of anything that could be amusing about my
beloved explaining why she was willing to give up her soul but wouldn't let me put a ring on her
finger.
“Laugh? I cannot imagine that,” I said dryly.
“You'll see,” she said, pausing before blushing wildly once again. Then, although I hadn't said
another word, her expression twisted and contorted until she finally shouted, “Okay, fine! I'm
sure this will sound like some big joke to you, but really! It's just so...so... so embarrassing!” She
sounded almost guilty as she averted her gaze once more, which didn't ease my mind any.
“I'm not following you,” I hedged.
She leaned back until her eyes were locked with mine, and I was utterly dumbfounded by her
expression. She looked furious, and I suddenly wondered if everything was somehow even worse
than I'd imagined. I'd barely been able to handle the knowledge that she didn't want to marry me,
but now I was left wondering if she was actually offended by the idea. I was shocked and hurt,
and wishing more than anything that we could go back to her simply saying, “no.”
“I'm not that girl, Edward,” she snapped, her tone more biting than I'd ever heard. “The one who
gets married right out of high school like some small-town hick who got knocked up by her
boyfriend! Do you know what people would think? Do you realize what century this is? People
don't just get married at eighteen! Not smart people, not responsible, mature people! I wasn't
going to be that girl! That's not who I am...”
I waited for her to say she didn't want to be my wife, waited for the part about not wanting to
promise her forever to a selfish monster like me. But it never came.
There might have been more to her frantic explanation, or maybe I just didn't hear it. All I could
think about at that moment was the fact that the reason Bella had said no had nothing to do with
me. It didn't really even have anything to do with her. She was worried about what people would
think, and if she stopped to consider the fact that those people she was concerned about weren't
going to have any place in her new life, maybe she'd find that there was nothing stopping her
from saying yes.
I realized a moment later she was staring at me, obviously awaiting my reaction to her
confession.
“That's all?” I asked blankly, probably sounding like a complete fool.
“Isn't that enough?”
“It's not that you were... more eager for immortality itself than for just me?”

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“Edward!” she said, laughing and sputtering as I listened in disbelief. “And here... I always...
thought that... you were... so much... smarter than me!”
I pulled her into my arms and laughed along with her as the weight of the world seemed to lift
from my shoulders. Apparently we were both total fools, worrying needlessly when all we really
needed to do was listen to and trust in each other.
“Edward,” she breathed, nuzzling closer to me as I basked in her radiating warmth and love.
“There's no point to forever without you. I wouldn't want one day without you.”
“Well, that's a relief,” I sighed.
“Still...” she said, a hint of g uilt creeping back into her voice, “it doesn't change anything.”
“It's nice to understand, though. And I do understand your perspective, Bella, truly I do. But I'd
like it very much if you'd try to consider mine.”
She nodded cautiously. I wanted so much for her to see things through my eyes, just for this one
moment. She said she wanted eternity with me, but there was one problem. She had no real
concept of what eternity felt like.
I did.
I'd had nearly a hundred years to ponder what forever truly felt like, and most of those years I'd
spent assuming I would always be alone. She couldn't possibly comprehend how completely
she'd changed my existence, because she was still mortal. Time meant something entirely
different to her. I knew I wanted her forever, because I knew how forever had felt without her.
The idea of eternity seemed unbearable before Bella, yet because of her, it now felt like a gift.
I wanted her to understand, but we were from such different worlds – different times. In her
world, the idea of getting married at eighteen was absurd. Where I'd grown up, in my time, it was
to be expected.
“You see, Bella, I was always that boy. In my world, I was already a man. I wasn't looking for
love – no, I was far too eager to be a soldier for that; I thought of nothing but the idealized glory
of the war that they were selling prospective draftees then – but if I had found...” I paused,
unable to simply say someone because I knew that whether a hundred years ago or a hundred
years in my future, I was only ever meant to find Bella. She was the only one who could make
my existence worthwhile.
“I was going to say if I had found someone, but that won't do. If I had found you, there isn't a
doubt in my mind how I would have proceeded. I was that boy, who would have – as soon as I
discovered that you were what I was looking for – gotten down on one knee and endeavored to
secure your hand. I would have wanted you for eternity, even when the word didn't have quite
the same connotations.”
Her eyes were wide with astonishment and possibly a touch of nervousness, but I wasn't the
slightest bit sorry. She needed to understand where I was coming from, why in my mind, there
was absolutely no reason not to marry her. I knew down to the very soul she was sure I still
possessed that she was all I would ever need.
“Breathe, Bella,” I said gently when I realized she hadn't moved. She took one slow, forced
breath.
“Can you see my side, Bella, even a little bit?” I asked. Perhaps it was wishful thinking, but for
one brief second I could swear I saw a flicker of excitement in her eyes.

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“The thing is, Edward, in my mind, marriage and eternity are not mutually exclusive or inclusive
concepts. And since we're living in my world for the moment,” she argued with a smirk, “maybe
we should go with the times, if you know what I mean.”
So stubborn. The whole reason we were having this discussion in the first place was because she
was adamantly determined to leave her world and join mine. All things considered, it really
wasn't fair for her to bring human logic and standards into it at all.
“But on the other hand, you will soon be leaving time behind you altogether. So why should the
transitory customs of one local culture affect the decision so much?”
“When in Rome?” she pressed, but I think even she knew it was a moot point. I laughed at her
indignant expression, momentarily content that we were at least getting our feelings on the
matter out in the open. I wasn't expecting her to change her mind that instant. In fact, I would
have been a little disappointed if she had. After all, I still hadn't proposed to her properly, and
since this was something I was only going to do once, I didn't want to miss the opportunity.
“You don't have to say yes or no today, Bella. It's good to understand both sides, though, don't
you think?”
“So your condition...?”
“Is still in effect.” I tried not to think about how formal it all felt. Terms and conditions – it was
starting to sound more like a business arrangement than two people in love discussing their
future together.
“I do see your point, Bella,” I assured her, “but if you want me to change you myself...”
Would you first do me the honor of becoming my wife? Be mine, as I am yours, forever?
How simple it would have been to open the floodgate and let the words pour out. But Bella was
already humming the wedding march, and it was impossible to ignore the fact that there was no
joy in her tone. She wasn't ready, and I couldn't handle being turned down again.
So I would wait. For as long as she needed me to. Fortunately, I had plenty to distract me.
During the brief times I was at home, Alice was babbling a constant stream of party details, and
when she wasn't saying them out loud, she was thinking them. I'd stopped responding to her,
because it was simply too difficult to keep track of what she was and wasn't saying out loud. I
wasn't even sure she knew anymore.
“The flowers will be here tomorrow, and they'll be perfect except for one small bouquet that will
be slightly wilted, I'll have to take care of that immediately.” How hard is it to deliver fresh
flowers, anyway? “And I've seen what you're planning on wearing, Edward. It's simply dreadful.
Have I taught you nothing in our decades together?” Did you start taking fashion advice from
Bella, because really, that's being rather counterproductive. “I don't know why I even bother
anymore.” She's not a lost cause, though. She's going to have much better fashion sense after...
Alice finally stopped, mid sentence or mid thought, when she noticed I was glaring at her.
“What?” she asked innocently. “I didn't think we were still tiptoeing around the subject, seeing
as graduation is in a few days.”
She smiled angelically and flitted out the front door, probably on her way to pick up even more
unnecessary decorations. She knew as well as I did that while the tentative date for Bella's
transformation was set, everything depended on Bella's final decision regarding my condition – a
decision which Alice still swore to me she hadn't officially made yet.

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Every time I tried to decipher anything Alice might have seen, anything that would tell me
whether another more formal proposal would grant me the answer I desired, she found a new and
increasingly more irritating way of blocking me. She was hiding something, and was being even
more diligent about it than usual.
Bella certainly wasn't giving me any insight. Our conversation about our differing views on
marriage had felt so open and honest, I had fully expected to hear something about it in her
dreams, and for our discussion to continue on into the following morning. Instead, she'd slept
silently that night, and when I'd returned from my morning run home, I found her absently
pushing around her cereal and starting with glassy eyes at the newspaper. I watched her for a few
moments, trying to read her expression. There was definite concern in her eyes as she scanned
the print on the page, and I knocked softly, hoping to grant her relief from whatever tragedy she
was reading about.
“Bella?” I said when she didn't lift her gaze from the page.
She jumped, her eyes frantic and panicked, as she turned to look at me. I was instantly
remorseful at having made her obvious anxiety worse, and I hurried over to hold her hand in
mine.
“Did I startle you? I'm sorry. I did knock...”
“No, no,” she said, her voice shaky as she eyes wandered back to the paper. “Have you seen
this?”
Seattle Terrorized By Slayings
“I hadn't seen today's news yet. But I knew it was getting worse. We're going to have to do
something... quickly.”
Honestly, my family and I had thought all this would be over by now, either by us intervening
and convincing whoever was at fault that it was in their best interest to move on, or by the
Volturi putting an end to it on their terms. Though Carlisle was still determined there was
something we could do, my family hadn't made another trip to Seattle since their first
unproductive visit. While they'd had no intention of beginning a fight, they had hoped to at least
gain some insight as to what they were up against, yet somehow, whoever was responsible was
remarkably good at evading us. It made absolutely no sense if he or she was a newborn. They
shouldn't have any real skills – simply an uncontrollable need to feed.
“What does Alice say?” Bella asked, eyes still glued to the headline.
“That's the problem. She can't see anything... though we've made up our minds half a dozen
times to check it out. She's starting to lose confidence. She feels like she's missing too much
these days, that something's wrong. That maybe her vision in slipping away.”
“Can that happen?” she gasped.
“Who knows? No one's ever done a study... but I really doubt it. These things tend to intensify
over time. Look at Aro and Jane.” Even my own talent, aside from my one baffling exception,
seemed to have increased over the years – if not in actual skill, then certainly in my ability to
control it. Those first few years were miserable, before I learned to at least somewhat block out
the noise.
“Then what's wrong?”

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“Self-fulfilling prophecy, I think. We keep waiting for Alice to see something so we can go...
and she doesn't see anything because we won't really go until she does. So she can't see us there.
Maybe we'll have to do it blind.”
“No,” she said firmly.
I could see the terror in her eyes, and though I wished we could wait for Alice to see something
helpful, our time was running out. We would most likely be taking action whether Alice could
get past whatever was blocking her vision or not. If we were dealing with newborns – and
despite everything, it still seemed the most likely option – then there was one person who would
understand what we were getting ourselves into better than anyone else.
I hated that I would have to bring up the past that he was so determined to forget, but at this
point, Jasper was our biggest advantage.
“Did you have a strong desire to attend class today? We're only a couple of days from finals;
they won't be giving us anything new.”
“I think I can live without school for a day. What are we doing?”
“I want to talk to Jasper.”
Bella nodded hesitantly, and I could tell she was curious what roll Jasper would play in the
situation, though I doubted she would ask it out loud. We drove in somewhat uncomfortable
silence to my house, both of us lost in our own concerns. When we arrived, my family was
waiting, watching the TV and hoping they would hear something that would give us a clue.
Why can't I see anything? Is there something else besides the wolves I can't see? What if I don't
see the Volturi coming? What if they're already on their way?
Alice was sitting on the stairs with an agonized expression on her face. I wished I could say
something to make her feel better, but she was thinking the exact thing I was. We all depended
so greatly on her abilities, and if she was missing things, it could mean disaster for us.
“Hey, Edward,” Emmett said, joining the others. He was smiling, the only one in the room
whose mind wasn't consumed with worry. “Ditching, Bella?” he asked lightly.
“We both are,” I told him.
“Yes,” he laughed, “but it's her first time through high school. She might miss something.”
I sighed, simultaneously irritated and thankful that at least one of us was able to keep a positive
attitude in the midst of such uncertainty. I looked to Carlisle, giving him the newspaper, and it
didn't escape my notice that he wouldn't look me in the eye. He was so used to being the one
with the cool head, the one person in my family who never let the rest of us panic. Yet even he
was fearing the worst.
“Did you see that they're considering a serial killer now?” I asked.
“They've had two specialists debating that possibility on CNN all morning.”
“We can't let this go on.”
He glanced at Bella for a split second. I know. But unless Alice finds a way past whatever is
blocking her vision, we don't know who they are, or how many there are. It could turn into a
fight so easily, and if they are newborns, they won't care who's watching or what is revealed.
Then, when the Volturi come, they'll charge us with breaking the rules as well.
“Let's go now. I'm dead bored,” Emmett interrupted. Rosalie hissed from upstairs. “Such a
pessimist,” he mumbled.
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Not our fight... don't see why we're even bothering. Let the Volturi pay us a visit for all I care.
Finding it harder than usual to ignore Rose, I forced my attention to Emmett.. “We'll have to go
sometime.”
Suddenly Rosalie was on the top step, looking down at me serenely.
Well, if we want this over quickly, we could always take Bella with us. She seems to appeal to
everyone so much, I'm sure she would lure the newborns right to us.
I very nearly lunged at her, and it took every ounce of strength within me to keep my expression
blank. I could tell she was only half joking, and that didn't help matters any.
“I'm concerned,” Carlisle said, drawing my focus away from Rose. “We've never involved
ourselves in this kind of thing before. It's not our business. We aren't the Volturi.”
“I don't want the Volturi to have to come here,” I said firmly. “It gives us so much less reaction
time.”
Carlisle was trying, for my sake, not to think what the rest of my family already was. But even
from him I heard, soon enough, Bella will be immortal and it won't matter if they come.
“And all those innocent humans in Seattle,” Esme said, mostly to herself. “It's not right to let
them die this way.”
“I know,” Carlisle said, taking her hand gently.
I still don't understand the motive, but it's the only thing that makes sense.... Jasper was staring at
the floor, shaking his head slowly. All the deaths, no regard whatsoever... it's almost like they're
practicing for something. And the body count keeps getting higher, like there are more of them
every day. They're staying in one place... waiting for the rest, perhaps? We figured there were
several, but an army...
“Oh,” I gasped. “I didn't think of that. I see. You're right, that has to be it. Well, that changes
everything.” Jasper's head shot up. He met my gaze with wide eyes, and I could see he hadn't
realized I'd been listening. He was too caught up in his revelation. I almost apologized to him,
but at the same moment, I noticed that the rest of my family was more irritated at the exchange
than he was.
Out loud, Bro? Seriously, come on, Emmett thought.
Honestly, how do you expect us to accomplish anything with you and Jasper talking in code,
Rose added.
Alice was staring at me, hurt. Kind of getting a complex about my abilities, here. Would you
mind not flaunting yours?
Even Carlisle was slightly perturbed. Now's not the time to be keeping things to yourself,
Edward.
“I think you'd better explain to the others,” I told Jasper. “What could be the purpose of this?” I
muttered.
“What's he rambling about?” Alice asked Jasper. “What are you thinking?”
Jasper watched me, looking somewhat betrayed, and I mouthed, “sorry” to him. He didn't like
being the center of attention, and he was looking at the expectant faces that surrounded him
nervously. I was about to offer to explain for him, when he thought, No point in keeping it to
myself any longer. Bella should really know the whole story first, though. After all, she's family
now.
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His expression softened as he turned to Bella, and I was glad she was too focused on him to
notice the shock in mine. Jasper hated talking about his past. Did he really care enough about
Bella that he wanted her to know his history?
“You're confused,” he said gently, eyes fixed on Bella.
“We're all confused,” Emmett muttered.
“You can afford the time to be patient. Bella should understand this, too. She's one of us now.”
Let me know when we get to the part I don't already know.... Emmett rolled his eyes as Jasper
turned back to Bella.
“How much do you know about me, Bella?”
“Not much,” she whispered.
Does she know about the newborns, Edward? Does she know how many times I've killed?
“No. I'm sure you can understand why I haven't told her that story. But I suppose she needs to
hear it now.”
Can she handle this? he asked, and I gave him a small nod, hoping I was right.
Slowly, Jasper started to roll up his sleeve, and I watched Bella closely as he held his scarred
wrist up to the light. It took her a moment, but when she recognized the mark, she gasped.
“Oh. Jasper, you have a scar exactly like mine,” she said.
If it were only one... he thought as he revealed more of his mutilated skin.
“Jasper, what happened to you?” she asked as she took in the sheer number of scars. His story
held more horror than I wanted her to know, but when I saw the determination on Jasper's face, I
knew there was no going back.
Though he never spoke of the exact details, I knew how he'd gotten each and every one of his
scars. He kept them hidden beneath clothes, but I knew Alice kissed them all every night, a silent
promise that he would never have to feel that kind of pain again. I knew that no matter how
many decades passed, Jasper would always be haunted by the violence of his former life, and
that as sure as he could never forgive those who had hurt him, he believed nothing could atone
for what he'd done.
I held my breath as he started his story, wondering exactly how much Bella would know when it
was over.

125
The next chapters in Eclipse in Edward’s point of view.
Enjoy everybody.  - And I did not write it – but it’s so awesome that you all
deserve to read it and love it!

Newborn - EPOV

With one final glance in my direction – a look filled with both reassurance and apology – Jasper
began his story. He knew what I was afraid of, of course he knew. He could feel my fear. Not since
that first day when I'd brought Bella home and told her about our history had I been so afraid of
frightening her away with too much truth. She'd teased me that I was waiting for her to scream and
run away, and while she'd always assured me I wasn't as much of a monster as I made myself out to
be, there was no denying that, at least for a time, Jasper had been. There was more murder and
bloodshed in his history than the rest of us combined. Even in my darkest days, I hadn't been a part
of anything anywhere near as atrocious as the things Jasper had been surrounded by on a daily
basis.

Bella had heard Rosalie's story, and while it was brutal and terrible, what she'd experienced only
showed the horrors that man was capable of. Jasper's history encompassed the worst of our kind. As
he spoke, I watched her expression carefully, ready to stop him the moment I thought it was too
much for her. She needed to understand where he was coming from, but I could hear all that Jasper
was prepared to confess. There was no need to give her more nightmares than she already had.

He spoke carefully, reading Bella's emotions as much as I was reading her expression. He painted
the picture of the world as it was, as it still is for so many of our kind. A world where humans are
nothing more than our food source, red dots on a map as he put it, highlighting the most populated,
and therefore most desirable areas. The more humans in one area, the easier it is to feed without
anyone noticing.

Like Seattle, he added silently, his eyes flickering for an instant in my direction. I wish it wasn't
starting to feel so much like the old days, believe me. But I know how they think. If someone had
suddenly tried to claim such a busy city as their own, then why not build an army to defend it? And

1
with humans always finding some explanation, no matter how mysterious the deaths, even an army
isn't really risking exposure.

“Not that the covens in the South care much for what the humans notice or do not,” he said, both
continuing his story aloud, and finishing his silent thoughts to me. I didn't want to admit it, but it all
made too much sense. And if it was an army of newborns we were up against, I wasn't sure we
would be able to stop them before the Volturi stepped in.

“It's the Volturi that keep them in check,” Jasper said, having come to the same conclusion as
myself. And thank goodness for that, he thought, then quickly added, sorry when he felt my anxiety.
Jasper had always been grateful for the existence of the Volturi, and even knowing that they would
come to destroy us, to destroy Bella, couldn't take away his respect for them.

“They are the only ones the southern covens fear. If not for the Volturi, the rest of us would be
quickly exposed.” He was still speaking to Bella, but for a moment it felt more like he was
defending his feelings toward the Volturi to me. To some extent I could understand. With all the
horrors he'd seen, it must have granted him at least a certain amount of peace, knowing there was an
end – that there were still rules and limits to what would be tolerated among the power-crazed,
ravenous villains he lived with.

Bella listened silently, her breathing steady but shallow, as Jasper explained how different the
covens in the South are, compared to those who live up North. They truly lived as vampires, the
kind from humans' stories and legends. They came out at night, and had no regard for human life. I
kept watching, gauging her reactions, but her expression remained undeniably relaxed, and it wasn't
until Jasper spoke of war that she spoke.

“But what are they fighting for?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

“Remember the map with the red dots?” he asked her. She nodded nervously, and Jasper sensed
how greatly I wanted him to stop.

She's fine, Edward. I've been keeping a steady calm flowing in her direction, but she barely needs it
anymore. She's... fascinated.

2
Of course she was. When was I ever going to learn that Bella handled the realities of our world far
better than I gave her credit for? Still, the way Jasper had been speaking – and I'd appreciated his
doing so – everything had sounded distant and story-like. It wasn't until he gave a name to one of
the characters, that I saw a flicker of fear in Bella's eyes. When Jasper explained the way Benito had
wiped out several covens for the sole purpose of claiming the most populated cities for his personal
feeding ground, I heard Bella's heart start to race.

“How did he win?” she asked, voice shaking.

“Benito had created an army of newborn vampires. He was the first one to think of it, and, in the
beginning, he was unstoppable. Very young vampires are volatile, wild, and almost impossible to
control.”

I instinctively took at step closer to Bella, anticipating a reaction, though I still wasn't sure what it
would be. Would she be scared, knowing that such a thing as a newborn army could exist, and that
it was very likely what was causing so many deaths in Seattle? Would she be upset that I'd never
told her about any of this? Would she be wondering what her first years would be like, and whether
or not she would be as wild and unstoppable as those Jasper was describing?

I waited, yet she said nothing. On the surface, she remained the picture of composure. If it weren't
for her pounding heart and uneven breathing, I might have believed she was completely unfazed.
Jasper told her about the subsequent armies created to battle the army that had already done so
much damage. He told her of one of the darkest times in vampires' long history. He told her
everything, and she listened with what appeared to be a sort of morbid curiosity.

It didn't escape my notice that Bella visibly flinched every time Jasper mentioned the Volturi, and
with good reason. Thinking about them was surely the most difficult part of the story, because
while perhaps she could picture, to some extent, the things Jasper had described, the Volturi were
already very real to Bella. And while I could assure her we would know long before they came for
her, she still feared them above all else.

Still, the Volturi had done their part, and even I had to agree with Jasper when he explained to Bella
that we owed them for our present way of life. I couldn't even imagine what would have happened
if they hadn't stepped in when those first wars broke out. No city would have been safe, and

3
vampires wouldn't have remained merely legends. All mankind would have known what we were
and what we sought. Every human would have feared for their life, yet because of the Volturi, we
remain hidden – those like my family and I even able to interact with them in something resembling
a normal life.

I think she already knows what I'm about to say, Jasper suddenly thought, bringing my attention
momentarily away from Bella. He looked me in the eyes for one split second before continuing.

“The wars resumed, but on a smaller scale. Every now and then, someone would go too far,
speculation would begin in the human newspapers, and the Volturi would return and clean out the
city. But they let the others, the careful ones, continue...”

Then, just as Jasper had predicted, recognition set in.

“That's how you were changed,” Bella whispered.

“Yes.”

I wanted to tell him to stop, to leave it at that, but what had been started needed to be finished.
Bella's curiosity was piqued. How could someone who was created for the purpose Jasper was end
up with a family like ours – protecting human life rather than taking it without thought?

As Jasper continued, I found myself in dire need of a distraction, so I went back to counting Bella's
heartbeats. He spoke only briefly about his time with the Confederate Army. He, like myself, had
been caught up in the idea of it, romanticized as it had been. Because of his gifts, he'd done
particularly well. It was also likely that the main reason the vampires who changed him had singled
him out was because they sensed what he was capable of. Over time, he'd learned to embrace his
gift, but in the beginning, he'd had plenty of reason to resent it. Jasper had gone over that night
thousands of times in his mind, yet I could still hear the bitterness in his voice as he described it to
Bella.

“He looks right – young, strong, an officer...” they'd said. “And there's something more... do you
sense it? He's... compelling.”

4
They chose me because they knew what a powerful addition to their group I would prove to be.
They could feel that I was special, even when I was just a weak human. Why couldn't I have been
like the rest?

Jasper had long ago come to terms with the hand he'd been dealt. Most of the time he was actually
very happy. He had Alice, and he knew that if his life had followed a normal path, he never would
have found her. Still, even the most content of us couldn't help but wonder, what if? What if he'd
been just another soldier – would they still have chosen him if they hadn't felt what he was capable
of? What if he'd never joined the army to begin with – where would his human life have taken him?

As Jasper spoke of the moments just before his life was ended, I felt him send out a wave of calm
energy, and for the first time since he'd started his story, I wondered if it was more for his own sake
than for Bella's. Whenever any of us thought about our transformations, it was hard not to
remember the pain in violent detail, and it almost seemed as if he were trying to numb himself
before speaking the words out loud. No amount of calm emanating from him, however, could fully
keep the panic I was feeling at bay. I'd always been very vague about the process with Bella, and
even though it was only fair for her to know exactly what was going to happen to her if she
followed through with her plans, somehow, I wasn't quite ready for her to hear it.

I was about to interrupt, but of course Jasper was one step ahead. He felt my hesitation, or my
nerves, and let out a quiet sigh. Fine. But the more prepared she is, the easier it will be for her.

“A few days later,” he continued, “...I was introduced to my new life.”

I knew the next part of Jasper's story was the most difficult for him to talk about, and it didn't
surprise me when he glazed over certain details. During his early years, he was an integral part of
Maria's army, learning to fight and training the other newborns as well. He was rewarded often, and
of course there was only one type of reward a newborn vampire was interested in – blood. Jasper
refrained from saying the word out loud, not only for Bella's sake but for his own as well. Even
after all his years with our family, a part of him would always miss the freedom that came from
feeding according to our nature rather than our conscience. The degree to which it pained him to
abstain was his darkest secret, and only I truly knew what a daily struggle it was. Alice understood
to a point, but when Jasper was tempted, all she saw was the final outcome. She could see when

5
things were difficult for him but she always saw him stopping himself before he went too far. She
didn't hear the battle raging inside the way I did.

It didn't escape my notice that whenever Jasper spoke of the rewards he'd been given, he found
himself more aware than usual of how appealing Bella's blood was. I instinctively moved closer to
her, ready to defend her against him as I'd once had to do, but he shook his head almost invisibly
and let another wave of calm wash over the room.

I'm in control, Edward. I promise you, no amount of thirst will disarm me like that ever again, at
least not where Bella is concerned. I'll never forgive myself for all the pain that one moment of
weakness cost the two of you, and I won't ever allow it to happen again.

I relaxed when I heard the sincerity of his words, mirrored by the absolute determination in his
mind. As the minutes passed, I stopped waiting for Jasper to lose control or for Bella to hear
something that was too much for her, and when I was finally able to do that, I found myself
captivated by Jasper's words. I'd heard the story countless times through the medium of his
thoughts, but it was so rare to hear him speak any part of it out loud that I became entranced.

It always amazed me that Jasper had developed a conscience, as we called it, considering the way
he lived. Even after so many years with us, he thought since it was so much more difficult for him
to abstain than the rest of the family, that meant we were somehow better than him, yet nothing
could be farther from the truth. The fact that he'd lived through so much violence, war, and
bloodshed, that he had come away with anything left of his humanity was astonishing.

Jasper spoke very briefly of the bond he'd developed with Maria, but for Alice's sake, he left out
certain details. He spoke of their years on conquest, claiming city after city for their own, and of all
the newborns lost in the various fights. I wondered if he realized that with each memory of a fallen
comrade, he traced his fingers along the scars on his arms.

Maria and Jasper had lived as each other's mates for many years, though Jasper always believed she
only stayed with him because of his ability and his skills as a fighter. It was probably the only
reason he was able to leave so easily when the opportunity for a new way of life presented itself.
When Jasper explained that it had eventually been his responsibility to dispose of the newborns

6
when they were no longer needed, I heard Bella gasp. I took a step closer to her, eyes wide, silently
pleading with Jasper not to go on.

She's troubled, but it's coming from concern and empathy for me, not fear, Jasper assured me. I
forced myself to relax again, but was thankful when he moved on quickly, focusing on his time with
one of the surviving, more civilized newborns. When Peter couldn't take their way of life anymore,
Jasper had allowed him to make his escape. It was the first time he'd defied Maria. As soon as he
began talking about the day Peter had come back for him, his expression softened and I knew the
worst was over.

“Peter told me about his new life with Charlotte, told me about options I'd never dreamed I had. In
five years, they'd never had a fight, though they'd met many others in the north. Others who could
co-exist without the constant mayhem. In one conversation, he had me convinced. I was ready to
go, and somewhat relieved I wouldn't have to kill Maria. I'd been her companion of as many years
as Carlisle and Edward have been together, yet the bond between us was nowhere near as strong.
When you live for the fight, for the blood, the relationships you form are tenuous and easily broken.
I walked away without a backward glance.”

It was the first time I saw a glimpse of our future together, Alice thought to herself as a smile lit up
her face. I still had a long wait ahead of me, but that was the decision that would eventually lead
him to me. Everything was so much better once I knew he was coming.

Jasper couldn't hear her words but he could certainly feel her love, making it easier to talk about
those final years of his old life – before he found Alice, before everything changed. He could still
remember in agonizing detail every life he'd taken. He told Bella how it was so much worse for him
because he could feel everything his victims felt. She gazed at him with empathy and understanding
in her eyes, and I loved her all the more for it. Jasper was telling her in brutal honesty about the
lives he'd taken, yet the emotion on her face was nothing but pity for the way he'd suffered.

“I tried to kill less often,” he explained, almost an apology, though Bella was anything but
accusatory, “but I would get too thirsty and I would give in. After a century of instant gratification,
I found self-discipline... challenging. I still haven't perfected that.”

7
I was expecting the usual onslaught of guilty thoughts and self-loathing, but it never came. Maybe
he was finally starting to realize none of us ever expected an apology for the life he left behind.
Instead, Jasper's mind went straight to the diner where he'd first met Alice. He remembered the look
on her face that day in perfect clarity. In his mind, she was perfection – an angel sitting alone,
waiting for him. His memory of that first moment was so personal, so intimate, I felt as if I were
intruding by listening to it.

“I was in Philadelphia. There was a storm, and I was out during the day – something I was not
completely comfortable with yet. I knew standing in the rain would attract attention, so I ducked
into a little half-empty diner. My eyes were dark enough that no one would notice them, though this
meant I was thirsty, and that worried me a little. She was there – expecting me, naturally.”

Then, for the first time since he'd started his tragic story, Jasper's face lit up and he laughed quietly.
“She hopped down from the high stool at the counter as soon as I walked in and came directly
toward me. It shocked me. I was not sure if she meant to attack. That's the only interpretation of her
behavior my past had to offer. But she was smiling. And the emotions that were emanating from her
were like nothing I'd ever felt before.”

I was already in love with you, silly, she thought. I smiled, wishing for just one moment that Jasper
could be the mind reader, though I was sure Alice had told him many times. For her, their love story
had begun long before they met.

“'You've kept me waiting a long time,' she said.” Jasper grinned as he quoted Alice's first words to
him, and I wondered if he noticed the way she mouthed them right along with him. Alice had been
inching closer to Jasper, needing to be close to him but not wanting to interrupt until it was time for
her part of the story. She stopped a few steps away from Bella and gazed at Jasper with a mixture of
playful affection and the deep, undeniable passion they shared.

“And you ducked your head, like a good Southern gentleman, and said, 'I'm sorry, ma'am,'” Alice
said, laughing.

My own personal savior, Jasper thought, staring at Alice. Waiting, ready to help me make this
miserable existence worthwhile. “You held out your hand,” he continued, reaching out to her as he

8
spoke, “and I took it without stopping to make sense of what I was doing. For the first time in
almost a century, I felt hope.”

“I was just relieved. I thought you were never going to show up,” she said with a smile.

They stared at each other for a long moment, and although Bella couldn't hear their silent
declarations of love as I could, I knew she could see it in their eyes. There was something so pure
and beautiful in the way they watched each other, and I had to admit that for many decades I'd been
jealous of what they shared. Whether I hadn't considered myself worthy or simply doubted that a
match as perfect as Alice was for Jasper existed for me, I never imagined someone would look at
me that way. Yet somehow I'd found Bella, who – impossibly, wonderfully – stared at me with
much the same look in her eyes.

“Alice told me what she'd seen of Carlisle and his family,” Jasper continued. “I could hardly believe
that such an existence was possible. But Alice made me optimistic. So we went to find them.”

“Scared the hell out of them, too,” I teased, seeing that day again through Carlisle's memory. I still
wish I'd been there to see it myself. “Emmett and I were away hunting. Jasper shows up, covered in
battle scars, towing this little freak,” I laughed, reaching over to Alice, “who greets them all by
name, knows everything about them, and wants to know which room she can move into.”

Jasper and Alice laughed, both reliving the day that changed everything for them.

I'd already seen Carlisle invite us to stay, asking just seemed redundant.

I smiled at her. She'd never been one for formalities. “When I got home, all my things were in the
garage.”

“Your room had the best view,” she said with a shrug, and I joined in their laughter.

“That's a nice story,” Bella said, stopping us all in our tracks.

And you were worried she'd run screaming, Alice thought sarcastically.

Your girlfriend, the eternal optimist, Jasper added, shaking his head in wonderment.

9
“I mean the last part,” she explained sheepishly. “The happy ending with Alice.”

“Alice has made all the difference. This is a climate I enjoy.” Without her, where would I be?

It was something we thankfully would never have to consider, though I think Jasper and I both
knew the answer. While his conscience had been troubled over the way he was living, without Alice
leading him to Carlisle, he never would have known he had another option besides killing and
living with the guilt.

I still don't understand why I didn't see anything, Alice thought dejectedly, bringing me abruptly
back to the present and reminding me what this was all about. “An army. Why didn't you tell me?”

We all turned our attention back to Jasper, who was still trying to make sense of it in his mind.

“I thought I must be interpreting the signs incorrectly. Because where is the motive? Why would
someone create an army in Seattle? There is no history there, no vendetta. It makes no sense from a
conquest standpoint, either, no one claims it. Nomads pass through, but there's no one to fight for it.
No one to defend it from. But I've seen this before, and there's no other explanation. There is an
army of newborn vampires in Seattle. Fewer than twenty, I'd guess. The difficult part is that they
are totally untrained. Whoever made them just set them loose. It will only get worse, and it won't be
much longer till the Volturi step in. Actually, I'm surprised they've let this go on so long.”

I moved closer to Bella, her breath catching at the mention of the Volturi, as I listened to the
thoughts around me. His story at an end, Jasper once again had the entire family's attention. What
we were discussing now involved us all, and everyone was struggling to find a solution.

“What can we do?” Carlisle asked. I don't want this to end in a fight, but surely it needs to end
somehow.

“If we want to avoid the Volturi's involvement,” Jasper said, glancing quickly and determinedly in
my direction, “we will have to destroy the newborns, and we will have to do it very soon.” Edward,
I know Carlisle won't like it, and if we can do this without him, we will. Maybe we can get help
from Tanya. “I can teach you how. It won't be easy in the city. The young ones aren't concerned
about secrecy, but we will have to be. It will limit us in ways that they are not. Maybe we can lure
them out.”

10
Emmett was already getting excited, thoughts racing through all the ways we could corner them.
But my mind had already started to form a very different picture.

“Maybe we won't have to,” I said dismally. “Does it occur to anyone else that the only possible
threat in the area that would call for the creation of an army is... us?”

You honestly think any vampire out there sees us as a threat when we aren't even in competition
with them for human blood? Jasper asked.

I nodded almost invisibly. The fact that we didn't partake of the same food source wouldn't matter
to whoever started this. If they'd heard rumors about our chosen diet, which seemed unlikely,
chances are they wouldn't believe it. Even James' coven had been skeptical until they had seen it for
themselves.

“Tanya's family is also near,” Esme whispered, trying to deny what suddenly seemed so obvious to
me. Of course she wouldn't want to believe that we were inadvertently the cause of what had turned
into an abhorrent amount of bloodshed, but it seemed the most likely explanation.

“The newborns aren't ravaging Anchorage, Esme,” I said as kindly as I could. “I think we have to
consider the idea that we are the targets.”

“They're not coming after us,” Alice said with more confidence than her thoughts betrayed. “Or...
they don't know that they are. Not yet.” Then again, what do I know? I didn't even see that it was an
army. Alice had never been very forgiving of herself when things slipped through the cracks, and
admittedly, I hadn't helped matters any by making her feel personally responsible where Bella's
future was concerned.

I was about to apologize and tell her than anything she sees, no matter how insignificant, is helpful,
when I was bombarded by a sea of images. They were unclear, blurry almost, as if they were
changing so fast she couldn't make sense of them.

“What is that?” I asked. “What are you remembering?”

“Flickers,” she said, trying to concentrate but coming up short. “I can't see a clear picture when I try
to see what's going on, nothing concrete. But I've been getting these strange flashes. Not enough to

11
make sense of. It's as if someone's changing their mind, moving from one course of action to
another so quickly that I can't get a good view...”

“Indecision?” Jasper asked. That can't be right. Newborns act on pure instinct. Decision or
indecision shouldn't come into play at all.

“I don't know...” she said, closing her eyes as she tried even harder to focus. Can you see what I'm
missing? she asked me silently, desperately. Can you please make sense of it all before it drives me
mad?

“Not indecision,” I snapped, realization setting in. “Knowledge. Someone who knows you can't see
anything until the decision is made. Someone who is hiding from us. Playing with the holes in your
vision.”

“Who would know that?”

It was all starting to feel like a sadistic game, and there was one person I could think of who
absolutely loved games. “Aro knows you as well as you know yourself,” I said coldly.

“But I would see if they'd decided to come...”

But that was exactly the point. They hadn't decided to come. “Unless they didn't want to get their
hands dirty,” I said dryly. I was surprised when it was Rosalie who understood first.

Of course. “A favor,” she said, almost to herself. “Someone in the South... someone who already
had trouble with the rules. Someone who should have been destroyed is offered a second chance – if
they take care of this one small problem... That would explain the Volturi's sluggish response.”

“Why?” Carlisle gasped. Even though he knew perfectly well what they were capable of, Carlisle
still liked to believe that the Volturi were inherently just, and that while their methods were
extreme, in their minds they were merely protecting vampire laws. He didn't want to think that they
could be capable of wiping out an entire family without cause. Of course, he hadn't heard Aro's
thoughts. He didn't understand how consumed with power he was, and how fearful he'd become of
the growing strength of Carlisle's family.

“There's no reason for the Volturi – ” he started to argue.

12
“It was there,” I said softly, wishing I didn't have to say the words out loud, wishing he could just
hear what I'd heard and understand that the Volturi are only ever looking out for themselves. “I'm
surprised it's come to this so soon, because the other thoughts were stronger. In Aro's head he saw
me at his one side and Alice at his other. The present and the future, virtual omniscience. The power
of the idea intoxicated him.”

He wants to destroy us to get to you and Alice? he thought. That makes no sense. He must know
you'd never follow him if he took your family away from you.

I shook my head minutely, looking into his eyes as I continued. “I would have thought it would take
him much longer to give up on that plan – he wanted it too much. But there was also the thought of
you, Carlisle, of our family, growing stronger and larger. The jealousy and the fear: you having...
not more than he had, but still, things that he wanted. He tried not to think about it, but he couldn't
hide it completely. The idea of rooting out the competition was there; besides their own, ours is the
largest coven they've ever found...”

No. This can't be right, the Volturi wouldn't pick a fight out of jealousy... He was trying to find a
way around it, but beneath Carlisle's attempt to deny what I was telling him, even he was starting to
see that it made sense.

“They're too committed to their mission,” he tried to argue. “They would never break the rules
themselves. It goes against everything they've worked for.”

“They'll clean up afterward.” It would all be too easy. Whatever story they told, there would be no
choice but to believe. Without us or whoever they end up sending to take us down, to question
them, things will return to normal. “A double betrayal,” I added, almost hearing Aro say the words
himself. “No harm done.”

“No,” Jasper said, his thoughts as definitive as Carlisle's. He'd seen first hand the complete
obliteration the Volturi were capable of, but he also didn't believe they would attack unprovoked.
“Carlisle is right. The Volturi do not break rules. Besides, it's much too sloppy. This... person, this
threat – they have no idea what they're doing. A first-timer, I'd swear to it.” I've seen the way the
Volturi work, Edward. They're efficient. Seattle is a disaster. They'd never leave the kind of mess
behind. “I cannot believe the Volturi are involved. But they will be.”

13
He's right, Carlisle thought, staring intently at me, willing me to believe as they did. I know you're
afraid of them for Bella's sake, and I know you've seen things I haven't seen... but this isn't their
doing. However, I'm positive they won't like what's happening right now and it won't be allowed to
go on much longer.

The rest of my family seemed to arrive at the same conclusion, but it was only Emmett who spoke it
out loud. They were all trying not to say anything that would frighten Bella, but he was far too
excited by the idea of finally getting to take action.

“Then let's go,” he shouted. “What are we waiting for?”

I watched only Carlisle in that moment, hearing, knowing the kind of pain this was causing him. No
matter how necessary in a situation like this, violence was always difficult for him to fathom when
he'd spent centuries trying to protect life in all forms. Yet what was bothering him even more now
was the idea of us launching at attack on an unknown source.

We don't know who it is, or where they came from. If they were created and then simply set loose,
of course their instincts would have taken over. Perhaps with time, they could be reasoned with. If
they knew there was another way...

But even as he tried to rationalize it, he knew it was impossible. There was only one way this was
going to end, and when he finally accepted that, he thought the three words that made all the
difference.

For our family.

I nodded as I listened to his entire mindset change. “We'll need you to teach us, Jasper,” he said,
determined. “How to destroy them.” He spoke with confidence, but I could hear how difficult it still
was for him.

I glanced over at Bella, part of me afraid of what I would see in her eyes, but needing to know she
was okay. Her brows were pulled together as if she was concentrating hard on something, though I
couldn't imagine what in all this she needed to think about. Her only job was to stay safe, and we
were going to make certain that happened.

14
“We're going to need help,” Jasper said. “Do you think Tanya's family would be willing...? Another
five mature vampires would make an enormous difference. And then Kate and Eleazar would be
especially advantageous on our side. It would be almost easy, with their aid.”

“We'll ask,” Carlisle said, though the thought of involving anyone who didn't need to be was
bothering his conscience.

“We'll need to hurry,” Jasper said, handing him the phone. Carlisle took it hesitantly and made the
call just out of hearing range for Bella. I took her hand in mine, needing her warmth, her presence
more than I'd realized. We sat on the loveseat together while I listened intently to Carlisle's
conversation.

Tanya answered and I tried to ignore her not at all subtle inquiry as to how I was doing. Carlisle
lumped me in with rest of the family, simply stating that we had all found ourselves in a difficult
situation. They'd heard what was going on in Seattle so he only had to briefly explain what he was
asking them. He hadn't really wanted or expected them to agree to help, but what Tanya told him
shocked us both.

“You know I'd love to offer our assistance in anything, Carlisle, but I'm afraid in this instance I do
have to include one condition. It's something that's caused a bit of a problem for my family, and I
would be remiss if I didn't take this opportunity to try to fix it.”

“I'm listening. You know I'll help in any way I can.”

“Well, against my better judgment, Irina and Laurent became... involved during his time with us.
She was quite upset to say the least when the wolves took him down defending that human you all
are so fond of.” Her voice had turned bitter, and my jaw clenched as I understood what she was
about to ask.

“Oh,” Carlisle said, stunned. “We didn't realize... that Irina felt that way.”

“Damn it,” I snapped. “Damn Laurent to the deepest pit of hell where he belongs.”

Bella was gaping at me. “Laurent?” she whispered, terrified. I wanted to explain but while I could
already see where the conversation was going, I needed to hear the words. It was all so ridiculous

15
that it should come to a vendetta against the wolves, one that, because of both Bella and the treaty,
we couldn't allow them to settle.

“Filthy, disgusting creatures or not,” Tanya explained, “it's not our place to take our revenge on the
pack since they were in fact defending a member of your family.” I could almost see her rolling her
eyes as she said the word, baffled at how we'd welcomed a human so completely into our world.

“Surely you're not asking our permission?” Carlisle said, forcing his tone to remain calm. Like
myself, he didn't want to believe it had come to this – our closest allies unwilling to help us unless
they first destroyed our closest, yet untouchable, enemies.

“That's exactly what I'm asking,” she snapped. “And if you ask me, I think we're making you a
pretty good deal. You're not allowed to take care of your wolf problem, but we are. Just say the
word. Those we leave alive will never know it had anything to do with you.”

“There's no question of that,” Carlisle said firmly. “We have a truce. They haven't broken it, and
neither will we. I'm sorry to hear that...”

“That they killed Irina's mate? That she's been inconsolable ever since it happened? You must
understand how she feels, Carlisle.”

“Of course. We'll just have to do our best alone.”

He hung up quickly, mixed feelings about knowing we would be on our own. He hadn't wanted to
involve anyone else, but he was afraid for his family, and would have gladly accepted the help if
they were willing.

“What's the problem?” Emmett asked me, staring at Carlisle and trying to read his expression.

“Irina was more involved with our friend Laurent than we knew. She's holding a grudge against the
wolves for destroying him to save Bella. She wants – ” I paused, looking into Bella's eyes. Even
though we'd refused, I hated to say the words, knowing how much it would upset her.

“Go on,” she urged me nervously.

16
I took a deep breath. “She wants revenge. To take down the pack. They would trade their help for
our permission.”

“No!” she yelled.

“Don't worry,” I promised her. “Carlisle would never agreed to it.” I paused, knowing that no
matter what I felt toward the pack, I would always be in their debt for saving Bella when I wasn't
there to. “Nor would I,” I sighed. “Laurent had it coming, and I still owe the wolves for that.” She
relaxed slightly, though I could still see the terror in her eyes.

I don't like this at all, Jasper thought, his mind racing through all the possibilities. He knew better
than any of us what we were up against, and he had been hoping we would have the assistance of
Tanya's family. “This isn't good,” he said, almost to himself. “It's too even a fight. We'd have the
upper hand in skill, but not numbers. We'd win, but at what price?” He glanced for the briefest of
seconds at Alice. Without her, I'm nothing.

With that, it all started to sink in. My family was about to take on something bigger than we'd ever
faced together, and the hardest part was that it wasn't even our fight. Yet to keep the Volturi away,
what choice did we have? I tried not to see the fear in Bella's eyes, but it was unmistakable. She'd
heard Jasper, and seen the way he looked at Alice. She knew there was a chance someone would be
lost.

For the first time, I had a flash of fear for my own life. Not because I was afraid of what it would
mean, that I might finally find out the true fate of our souls. I was afraid because I'd made a promise
to Bella. I told her I'd never leave her again, that I would always be there to protect her. As I stared
at her, the one who had made all the difference, I knew I would fight with every ounce of strength
in my being, and nothing would stop me from coming home to her.

I'd be damned before any army, no matter how strong, made me break my promise.

12. Declaration – EPOV

17
Why is your girlfriend so stubborn? Alice cast a quick, indignant glare in my direction, as if I had
any say in whether or not Bella's graduation party would go on as planned. I'd already told her – this
was Bella's decision and I was staying out of it.

“You can't be serious,” Bella argued. “You've completely lost your mind!”

“Say whatever you like about me,” Alice said stubbornly. “The party is still on.”

I kicked Alice under the table, but she didn't so much as bat an eye. And she called Bella stubborn.

“Oh, calm down, Bella! There's no reason not to go through with it. Besides, the invitations are
already sent.”

“But... the... you... I... insane!” Bella stuttered. If it was really causing her this much anxiety, I
would just take her out of town for the evening. Alice could throw her party, it didn't mean Bella
had to show up.

You most certainly will not! Alice silently spat the moment I started to form a coherent plan. It was
one of the many downfalls of having a sister who can see your every move long before you've had
the chance to make it.

“You've already bought my present,” Alice said angelically, trying to change the subject. “You
don't have to do anything but show up.”

I listened as Bella took several deep, calming breaths. As I watched, I realized that saving her from
a party she had no interest in attending was only part of the reason I wanted to escape with her for
awhile. We'd both spent far too much of our time lately worrying over the state of things in Seattle,
and whoever had been in her room, not to mention a possible visit from the Volturi. With so much
going on around us, we'd had hardly any time to focus on simply being together.

We still had our nights, but even those were tainted to some degree by the fear I could tell Bella was
still feeling. She tried to hide it from me, but I couldn't ignore the way she jumped every time there
was a noise outside her window. And while I enjoyed how tightly she held onto me as she drifted
off to sleep, I knew it was as much out of need for comfort and protection as it was a gesture of
love.

18
Under normal circumstances, it would have been so easy to whisk her away, even if only for the
day, to somewhere we could just be together and in love. Right now, however, there were too many
uncertainties, too much we didn't know and understand.

“With everything that is going on right now, a party is hardly appropriate,” Bella insisted, eliciting
an eye roll from Alice.

“Graduation is what's going on right now, and a party is so appropriate it's almost passé.”

“Alice!” she cried, exasperated.

“There are a few things we need to get in order now, and that's going to take a little time,” she
continued, unfazed. “As long as we're sitting here waiting, we might as well commemorate the good
stuff. You're only going to graduate from high school – for the first time – once. You don't get to be
human again, Bella. This is a once-in-a-lifetime shot.”

I shot a glare in her direction, even though I could hear that no one around us was interested in our
conversation. Most of our classmates had given up long ago trying to figure out the mysteries of the
school's two remaining Cullens. With Bella around, Alice and I had lost our intrigue.

“What few things do we need to get in order?” Bella asked, determined to know everything despite
my continued assurance that we had things under control. The less she worried about, the less my
conscience bothered me for having dragged her into yet another situation she should never have
been a part of.

“Jasper thinks we could use some help,” I explained gently, hiding the concern in my voice of what
would happen if we ended up going into this fight alone. “Tanya's family isn't the only choice we
have. Carlisle's trying to track down a few old friends, and Jasper is looking up Peter and Charlotte.
He's considering talking to Maria... but no one really wants to involve the southerners.”

That's putting it mildly, Alice thought, visibly shaken for a split second before regaining her
composure. For her, it was more than just an aversion to asking for help from a coven so violent in
nature. If Maria were to get involved, Alice would be forced to confront Jasper's past in a way she'd
never had to before. She'd always been grateful that she saw the future rather than the past, deciding

19
it was easier not to have a visual to go with the stories she'd long ago accepted. Having a face to go
with Jasper's stories was not something Alice was prepared for.

“It shouldn't be too hard to convince them to help,” I said, hoping between Carlisle's friends and
Peter and Charlotte, we would have more than enough assistance. “Nobody wants a visit from
Italy,” I added quietly, hating the way Bella winced at the word.

“But these friends – they're not going to be... vegetarians, right?” she asked nervously.

“No,” I admitted.

“Here? In Forks?” she asked frantically.

I wanted to assure her that they wouldn't pose a threat to her, that if we explained our unique
situation, they would curb their appetite or, at the least, keep their hunting activities far away. How
could I promise such a thing, though, when all I wanted was to run Bella out of town the moment
they arrived? Of course, I could never leave my family right as the fight was about to begin, could
I? I was instantly bombarded with images of of red-eyed, hungry vampires mere feet away from my
Bella, and I knew that if it meant her protection, I would leave without a second thought. My family
would understand. They would have to.

“They're friends,” Alice said, either sensing my anxiety or seeing what I'd barely begun to plan.
“Everything's going to be fine. Don't worry.” She was speaking to Bella, but her every thought was
directed at me.

Anyone who is willing to fight with us will respect us enough not to hurt Bella. She'll be fine. No
one is getting near her. Edward, we need you with us. You have to understand what advantage we'd
be giving up if you left.

And I did understand. With newborns, Alice's power meant nothing. She wouldn't see anything
because they wouldn't decide anything. They were going to be fighting on pure instinct, but I would
still hear them coming.

“And then, Jasper has to teach us a few courses on newborn elimination...” Alice continued,
sounding somewhat more relaxed when she saw I wasn't going anywhere.

20
I smiled, despite my apprehension, caught up for a moment in the thought of learning fighting
tactics from Jasper. I'd been listening to him ever since the day we all realized what we were up
against. His excitement was undeniable. He was anxious to finally put his skills and knowledge to
good use. From his dark past, he could bring us something indispensable, an advantage no one else
could offer. In his mind, it was almost an atonement for the things he could not change and would
always regret.

We were all eager to learn. Everyone, that is, except for Carlisle. My family knew this fight was
going to be difficult for him, but only I truly knew the toll it was taking on him.

I'll do whatever is necessary to protect my family. He recited it over and over in his mind, his own
personal mantra. His constant reminder that, although it went against his very nature, sometimes
violence was the only answer.

“When are you going?” I heard Bella ask, though my attention was, admittedly, elsewhere.

“A week. That ought to give us enough time.”

“You look kind of green, Bella,” Alice said. Focus, Edward. She's a nervous wreck.

I quickly pulled Bella close to me, banishing every thought but those of her. Alice was right, she
needed comfort right now, and I'd been doing a poor job of giving it to her.

“It's going to be fine, Bella. Trust me.”

She sank into me despairingly, until some hidden thought changed her posture.

“You're looking for help,” she said softly, contemplatively. If it weren't for the strange, underlying
knowledge that she was about to suggest something I wouldn't like, I might have laughed. Who
could she have thought of that we hadn't?

“Yes,” Alice hedged, clearly as baffled as me.

“I could help,” she whispered.

21
I felt my grip tighten protectively around her. No! It's too soon! My thoughts raged through me, but
thankfully, Alice remained the voice of reason.

Oh, calm down. We wouldn't dare. No good is going to come from throwing another newborn into
the mix.

“That really wouldn't be helpful,” she said gently.

“Why not?” Bella asked stubbornly. “Eight is better than seven. There's more than enough time.”

If she's delusional enough to think she'd be any help to us at all as a four-day-old vampire, then
clearly you haven't done a very good job of preparing her for what's to come, Alice silently
reprimanded. With a pang of guilt, I knew she was right. Everyone kept telling me that the more
prepared Bella was, the easier it would be on her, yet I couldn't bring myself to go into the
excruciating details. Maybe I was still trying to deceive myself – if I didn't talk about her being
changed, then it didn't seem real. Nothing was final until the venom was coursing through her veins.

“There's not enough time to make you helpful, Bella,” Alice continued calmly, saying things I didn't
have the courage to. “Do you remember how Jasper described the young ones? You'd be no good in
a fight. You wouldn't be able to control your instincts, and that would make you an easy target. And
then Edward would get hurt trying to protect you.”

I watched Bella's expression return to frustration as Alice smiled angelically at her.

“Not because you're afraid,” I reminded her softly, happy when she relaxed into me once again.

“Oh,” Alice said, irritation creeping into her tone. “I hate last-minute cancellations. So that puts the
party attendance list down to sixty-five...”

“Sixty-five!” Bella shrieked.

“Who canceled?” I asked, trying to keep the conversation light.

“Renée.”

“What?”

22
“She was going to surprise you for your graduation, but something went wrong. You'll have a
message when you get home.”

Bella sighed, her heart rate coming back down as she let herself rest against me again. She was
relieved that Alice had dropped the subject of the party, at least for the day, though I was certain it
was still weighing heavily on her mind. She was quiet an the drive home, but her mood grew
perceptibly lighter when she listened to her mother's voice on the answering machine. It really was
a shame she couldn't make it to the party. It was obvious how much Bella missed her.

When Renée's message ended mid-sentence, Bella sighed.

“Well, that's one.”

“One what?”

“One person I don't have to worry about getting killed this week.”

I rolled my eyes to mask my guilt. Even though she missed her mother, with a countless number of
new vampires possibly visiting town in the very near future, this was the last place Bella wanted
anyone she loved. Once again, I hated myself for inflicting the horrible realities of my world on her.
Because of me, she was afraid of having her own mother come to her graduation.

“Why won't you and Alice take this seriously?” she asked, exasperated. “This is serious.”

“Confidence,” I said with a smile, trying to brighten her mood again.

“Wonderful.” Frustrated, she turned away from me and picked up the phone to call her mother.

It was a welcome break from the stresses of the day, listening to her talk with Renée. Or rather,
listening to Renée talk while Bella occasionally interjected quick words of reassurance that she
wasn't upset about her missing graduation. Every once in awhile, Bella would look up at me
apologetically, but I just smiled and ran my fingers through her hair, secretly loving the way it still
made her heart race.

As I listened, I caught myself wondering what Renée would say if Bella called her one day, telling
her that she and I were engaged. Would she be happy for Bella, or would she warn her not to make

23
the same mistake she had, getting married so young? And even if she had her doubts, would she at
least be able to accept me as the man who loves her daughter, someone who will always protect
Bella no matter what? Strangely, it felt nice to worry about something so normal. In this one thing,
at least, I was like every other man who'd contemplated the future with the woman he loves.

When she finally hung up the phone, she didn't waste any time closing the distance between us. She
stretched up toward me until her lips met mine, and I lifted her onto the counter, too eager to be
closer to her. Her arms and legs quickly wrapped around me, and for a few moments, I allowed
myself to simply revel in the warmth of her touch and the feeling of her fingers in my hair. The way
she sighed when she sunk into me made me ache to hold her tighter, which, unfortunately, meant I
needed to do exactly the opposite.

I laughed at her sulky expression as I pulled away, happy that she seemed to never tire of my
embrace. We were talking about eternity, after all, and my greatest hope was that she would always
look at me with the same eyes of never ending love the way I knew I would always look upon her.

I relaxed at her side, putting my arm around her shoulder so she could rest against me. “I know you
think that I have some kind of perfect, unyielding self-control, but that's not actually the case.”

“I wish,” she muttered. Always so ready to push me beyond what is advisable...

It was odd to think that not long ago, my biggest fear was being unable to control my thirst. If
someone had told me that any desire existed more powerful than that one, I wouldn't have believed
them. Lately, however, the burn was second to the all-consuming need to hold her tighter, to never
let go. Knowing her human days were numbered should have granted me patience. Soon, my
strength would no longer threaten her safety. Yet somehow, knowing I had only a short time to
caress her warm skin, breathe in her scent that has always been both pleasure and pain, it was agony
not to let myself revel in every aspect of her humanity without restraint.

My muscles twitched to pull her back into me, let her wrap her arms and legs around me again. So,
with a deep breath to summon my willpower, I changed the subject to a safer topic.

“After school tomorrow, I'm going hunting with Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie. Just for a few hours –
we'll stay close. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett should be able to keep you safe,” I added, as much for
her assurance as mine. So nervous about leaving Bella's side for even a short time, Carlisle had had

24
to remind me the importance of keeping myself strong. It was necessary for the things that were to
come.

“Ugh,” she groaned. “I hate being babysat.”

“It's temporary.”

“Jasper will be bored. Emmett will make fun of me.”

“They'll be on their best behavior.”

“Right.”

I felt guilty and momentarily considered not going away at all. I had spoken with Alice after the last
time I'd left, and made her promise things would be different this time, but of course, there were no
guarantees.

Don't let her sulk the whole time I'm away, I'd pleaded. She loves you, Alice. You can keep her
distracted. You just have to make sure you're acting the part of sister and friend rather than
innkeeper.

I was about to offer to stay when Bella's eyes brightened.

“You know...” she said slowly, “I haven't been to La Push since the bonfire.”

It took every ounce of strength in me to keep my expression neutral. There really wasn't a reason I
could give her not to go. Well, not one that didn't make me sound petty, irrational, and jealous.

“I'd be safe enough there,” she said serenely.

My mind was screaming at me. No. Stay here, with me. I don't need to go, really.

“You're probably right,” I said calmly, hoping my true feelings were disguised. The last thing I
wanted was to get into another argument with her. We'd been down that path too many times. She
was safe in La Push, like she'd said. I had to put my prejudices about the wolves aside.

25
She smiled up at me, gently brushing her fingers below my eyes. “Are you thirsty already?” she
asked, scrutinizing my face. It would never cease to amaze me how easily she spoke of my
deplorable thirst, how calm she was discussing the thing I'd once been so afraid to talk to her about.

I should have known that she was always watching for signs of my thirst and that she would
question this particular trip. Bella didn't like to see my eyes get too shadowy, or my irises too black.
She worried about me in ways I'd never deserved, and although it would have been easier to answer,
“yes, I'm thirsty,” because I owed her everything, I could only speak the truth. I didn't show the
usual signs because this hunting trip had a far different purpose.

“Not really,” I said, wishing I could leave it at that, but knowing her inquisitive nature wouldn't let
me. “We want to be as strong as possible. We'll probably hunt again on the way, looking for big
game.”

I'd hesitated to tell her because I assumed it would only worry her to know we were taking extra
precautions. She surprised me again when she simply asked, “That makes you stronger?” I watched
her expression closely for any sign she was putting on a brave front, but there was nothing there
except genuine curiosity.

“Yes,” I answered, when I was sure hearing about our extra hunting plans wouldn't cause her
unnecessary stress. “Human blood makes us the strongest, though only fractionally. Jasper's been
thinking about cheating – adverse as he is to the idea, he's nothing if not practical – but he won't
suggest it. He knows what Carlisle will say.”

Even though I was sure Alice was watching his decisions closely, I'd been listening to his thoughts
as well ever since the idea had first occurred to him. I'd been nervous in the beginning, but I soon
realized that while Jasper felt guilty for even thinking about killing a human, his true reason for not
suggesting it was less about Carlisle's reaction and more about his own fears. He was terrified that if
he tasted human blood again, it would ruin all the progress he'd made during his years with us. He
thrived on the fact that every day he abstained, his memory of the exact flavor, the level of
satisfaction it granted, faded minutely. Changing his diet had been torturous on him, and he was not
willing to go through the withdrawal again.

26
I looked at Bella then, having suddenly realized what I'd said. How foolish of me, mentioning that
something so terrible had even occurred to Jasper. Now I'd given her one more thing to worry
about. I was about to apologize, when she surprised me by asking, “Would that help?” My jaw
nearly dropped. Did she have any idea what she was suggesting?

“It doesn't matter,” I said quickly. “We aren't going to change who we are.”

A pained expression flashed across her face, and I quickly moved on, unwilling to let her dwell on
the subject. There was no point. It wasn't something we would ever consider, no matter how many
newborns we were up against.

“That's why they're so strong, of course,” I explained. “The newborns are full of blood – their own
blood, reacting to the change. It lingers in the tissues and strengthens them. Their bodies use it up
slowly, like Jasper said, the strength starting to wane after about a year.”

“How strong will I be?” she asked with a grin. Then, something remarkable occurred. Hearing her
excitement, seeing the light in her eyes, made me excited about what her life would soon be like.
For that one moment, I didn't feel any fear or regret for what she was losing. All I felt was
happiness, and maybe even a touch of pride at Bella's ability to always focus on the positive.

“Stronger than I am,” I answered, barely able to contain my sudden euphoria. I would finally be
able to hold her, kiss her the way I'd always wanted to, the way she deserved. I could shower her
my endless affection without holding back.

“Stronger than Emmett?” she asked, and my grin widened. Bella was going to be extraordinary, and
I couldn't wait to see it.

“Yes,” I promised. “Do me a favor and challenge him to an arm-wrestling match. It would be a
good experience for him.”

She laughed, probably in disbelief, which would make it that much more entertaining when she
crushed him. A moment later, she stepped down off the counter, still smiling and shaking her head,
and insisted that we get to studying. It was the last set of high school exams she would ever take,
and we both wanted her to do well.

27
I let my mind wander while she pored over her books, answering any questions she had idly as my
thoughts drifted to the future ahead. Unfortunately, there was one detail that remained missing from
what would be an otherwise perfect vision. Bella still didn't seem any closer to accepting my
proposal... not that I'd actually asked again.

It seemed a paradox that it could be so easy for us to proclaim our love for each other every day, yet
we couldn't discuss marriage. Bella was completely opposed to the idea, making it very difficult for
me to plan a proper proposal. Yet I knew the time was running short. If she wanted me to be the one
to change her – and truth be told, I wanted to be the one as well – then she needed to get over her
fears the way I'd slowly learned to push aside my trepidation about her giving up her mortality.

“Do you mind if I give Jacob a call?” she asked, pushing her Calculus book aside. “I should make
sure it's all right for me to come over tomorrow.”

I was positive it would be more than alright with him, but I smiled and nodded anyway. She kept
the conversation short, and I waited patiently, passing the time by running my fingers through her
silky hair again. Of course Jacob was thrilled he would be spending the day with Bella.

“So he's letting you off house arrest, is he?” he asked. Bella blushed, turning her gaze away from
me.

“Leave it alone, Jake,” she said quietly. “Just tell me what time I can come over.”

“You can come yesterday, as far as I'm concerned,” he teased. “You know you're always welcome.
School's out for us, anyway, so come as soon as you can.”

“Okay, I'll be over right after school.”

Bella smiled at me as she hung up the phone and motioned to her text books.

“Shall we?” she said, obviously not wanting to talk about Jacob or La Push, which was fine with
me. The less I thought about it, the less crazy I would make myself.

The next day at school, I listened to the thoughts of Bella's classmates, as well as a few of her
teachers. Being that they were senior year finals, and really had no effect on what anyone was doing

28
after high school, it didn't surprise me to find that Bella was far more prepared than the rest of her
graduating class.

When our final class was over, the reality of where I was leaving her during my brief time away set
in. I forced a smile onto my face, remembering that she was, in fact, well protected by the wolves.
Beyond Jacob's obnoxious affection toward her, the rest of pack seemed to care about her too,
although they all thought she was a lunatic for keeping company with vampires.

“Would you like to spend a couple of hours together before I leave, or should I drop you off right
away?”

She rolled her eyes and let out a deep sigh. I knew it made her feel like a child, being escorted to the
boundary line, and perhaps I was being selfish, but I wanted to spend as long with her as I could.
Besides, it was reassuring, if not somewhat annoying, to listen to Jacob's thoughts when he picked
her up. He was almost as preoccupied with her safety as I was.

“I guess we might as well go now,” she said dejectedly. “The sooner you leave, the sooner you can
come home, right?”

I put my arm around her and kissed the top of her head. I knew she was looking forward to visiting
Jacob, and maybe it had only been for my benefit, but those few simple words had changed my
whole outlook on the day.

She called Jacob to let him know we were on our way, her fingers entwined with mine as she spoke.
I drove slower than usual, wanting to hang on just a little bit longer. I was glad today's hunting trip
would be a short one.

“So how do you feel you did on your exams?” I asked, gently tracing the back of her hand and
staring into her eyes. I was glad it no longer bothered her that I seldom watched the road while I
drove.

“History was easy, but I don't know about the Calculus. It seemed like it was making sense, so that
probably means I failed.”

29
I laughed. If she had any idea... Her teacher had purposely made the test easier than normal, having
expected a low amount of preparation and concentration from his students. “I'm sure you did fine.
Or, if you're really worried, I could bribe Mr. Varner to give you an A.”

She smiled nervously, probably wondering whether or not I was serious. “Er, thanks, but no
thanks.”

I was enjoying the lighthearted conversation. It felt like forever since we'd talked about such
mundane things. With everything going on, it was nice for once not to be discussing the newborns,
or Victoria, or the Volturi. Unfortunately, our peaceful moment together was quickly coming to an
end.

I'll just tell her. That's all I can do. I mean, I have to, right? Would never forgive myself if I let her
turn herself into a disgusting bloodsucker without knowing she had another option. A better option.

I saw Jacob before he saw us, and I couldn't hide the scowl on my face as I noticed the
determination of his thoughts was mirrored in his expression. He was drumming his fingers
nervously on the steering wheel, but nothing was going to stop him from telling Bella how he felt.
Honestly, I was surprised it had taken him this long. Her approaching graduation date must be
looming over his head every bit as much as it was mine.

“What's wrong?” Bella asked, noticing my expression.

“Nothing,” I said quietly.

Think of Charlie, think of your friends. With me, you wouldn't have to give up anything. I love you,
Bella! Choose me!

“You're not listening to Jacob, are you?” Bella asked disapprovingly.

“It's not easy to ignore someone when he's shouting.”

“Oh.”

Jacob's rant ended abruptly when he noticed us, though of course he knew I'd heard him.

30
So, you up for a little competition, leech? Or are you gonna turn the car around and hold her
hostage again? I bit back a growl.

“What's he shouting?” Bella asked.

“I'm absolutely certain he'll mention it himself.”

Just then, Jacob honked his horn impatiently.

“That's impolite,” I said, foot twitching above the gas pedal. I didn't really need to go hunting today.

“That's Jacob,” Bella muttered, getting out of the car before I could change my mind about leaving
her there.

I'll give you a call when she wants to come home. Or should I say, if she wants to come home, he
added with a smirk.

I glared at him as Bella got into the car, my short trip suddenly feeling much longer. Then again,
when I'd planned it, I didn't realize that while I was away, Jacob was going to be declaring his love
to my Bella.

31
 Wager – EPOV

If you're just going to sit there all distracted, you should have stayed home. I snapped myself out of
my current train of thought – one that was, unfortunately, focused on the profession of love Jacob
was probably uttering to Bella at that very moment – only to find Emmett glaring at me.

"I thought we'd all decided this trip was necessary," I argued. If it hadn't been, I would have stayed
home, and Bella would be withme right now instead of with that filthy, mangy...

You know I'm not worried about the fight, Emmett grinned. I'm just here for the extra meal. I rolled
my eyes, but a smile crept onto my face. No matter what lay ahead, Emmett could always eat.

"You might not be, but Carlisle certainly is," I said quietly. As much as I hated to admit it, and
although I would always remain the picture of confidence around Bella, I was concerned as well.

Yeah, well he worries too much.

"That may be true, but is it possible you don't worry quite enough?"

Highly unlikely.

32
I sighed. "I know you think we're strong enough to fight off an army of unknown numbers and
strength, and I hope you're right, but what if we aren't ready for them? What if something happens
to one of us? To Rose?"

His smile didn't waver for a moment, but I could hear the brief flash of panic in his mind. He could
put on a brave front all he wanted, act casual and aloof morning til night, but I knew Rosalie was
his world. Emmett had given me a hard time about my pleas to the Volturi, called me over-
dramatic, but if something took Rose away from him, he'd be on the next plane to Italy himself.

"Doesn't matter," he said aloud, trying to shake off his brief flicker of doubt. "There's nothing we
can't handle."

"Let's go," Jasper shouted, stopping me before I could argue any further. "There's a herd of elk
about a mile off. Race you?"

"That's what I'm here for," Emmett said with a smirk as he took off running.

Normally, I would have followed after my brothers, passing them up in no time, but Emmett had
been right. I was far too distracted, and decided it was best to keep to myself. Since Bella was
spending the day in La Push, everyone except for Rose, who was keeping an eye on Charlie, had
come along. Carlisle and Esme were spending most of the trip by themselves. Esme was Carlisle's
sanctuary, his safe harbor, and with all he'd been worrying about lately, he needed her comfort more
than ever.

Alice was, as usual, already a few steps ahead of Jasper, which left me alone with nothing but the
noise of my own thoughts. At the moment, my thoughts were focused on one thing only, and they
happened to be screaming it rather loudly.

Jacob is telling Bella he loves her! I wanted to believe it wouldn't matter, that her heart would still
be mine, but I'd be a fool to think it wouldn't have at least some affect on her.

I saw the way she looked at him, how her eyes lit up when she saw him waiting at the border for
her. I knew how miserable she'd been when they weren't spending any time together, and how upset
she'd been with me for trying to keep them apart. Worst of all, I heard his name slip from her lips

33
from time to time when she was sleeping. He was in her life and in her dreams – and after today,
she would know exactly how he felt about her.

Not that I didn't think she already knew, to some extent. The boy was about as subtle as a flashing
neon sign. Still, it was different to think someone's in love with you, and an entirely different thing
to actually hear it.

So, why aren't you with Em and Jazz? They're playing a little game of who can bring down the
biggest elk. I thought you'd want to join them. Alice was standing next to me, smiling, and I
struggled to shift my attention to her.

"Are they now?" I said, attempting a smile. "And you didn't want to join them?"

"You know how much I hate playing games if I know I'm not going to win."

"Right, I forgot."

Her brow pulled together in concern. What's up with you today? she thought, sitting down next to
me.

"As if you don't already know," I muttered. She pursed her lips as irritation flickered across her
face, and I realized that what was bothering me was something beyond her sight. "Oh," I said
apologetically. "I guess you wouldn't have seen this one coming."

"The mutt?" she asked, frustrated.

"Who else?" I sighed. "I mean, it's not like I blame him. I'd fight for her, too. I have fought for her. I
just... I can't stand the thought of him pledging his love to her, begging her to chose him instead."

"Ah. Your sulking makes a bit more sense now. And here I thought you were just missing her and
worrying like usual."

"For once, I wish it was only that."

"Edward?" she said slowly, pausing until my eyes met hers. "You do realize you have absolutely
nothing to worry about, right?"

34
I took a deep breath. It was hard to admit it out loud. "I'm not so sure."

"Oh, come on," she scoffed, all traces of seriousness vanished. "After all this time, after everything
you two have been through... when she's on the brink of getting exactly what she's been wanting
from the very start, now you doubt her? I may not be able to see her reaction to that mangy hairball,
but I can guess with a fair amount of confidence that it won't end well for him."

I laughed along with her, hopeful for a brief moment before my insecurities had time to resurface.

"I'd like to think so, and most of the time I have complete faith in her feelings for me, but Alice, I
left her. The whole time I was away, Jacob was there for her. She loves him, I know she does.
Sometimes she talks about him in her sleep. She misses him, worries about him, wants him to be
happy."

"But she chose you. She's chosen you time and again. Yes, you left, but when you came back, how
long did it take for her to forgive you?"

"She gave me forgiveness I didn't deserve."

"No arguments there."

I rolled my eyes. Alice had always believed in Bella's love for me, long before even I had. Truly, I
wanted nothing more than to accept her assurances, and put my fears out of my mind for the
remainder of the trip. It was impossible, though, as I replayed the words I knew Jacob was speaking
to Bella at any moment.

"What makes this all so much worse is that there was a time when I might have said Jacob was a
better fit for Bella." I was staring at the ground, speaking more to myself than to Alice. "Before he
changed, if he was just a kid in love – if he was safe for her, a part of me might have wanted her to
pick him. I'd do anything to protect her, even watch her love someone else. But he's no better for
her than I am. He and his pack are a threat to her safety – even if he is considerably more in control
than I fathomed possible."

I laughed under my breath and Alice raised an eyebrow at me.

35
"It's actually rather ironic," I continued. "The fact that he's adapted so well to his new lifestyle, the
amount of control he has over his transformations... it's the only reason I can stand to let her be with
him. And I'm pretty sure a lot of that control stems from his feelings for her. He can't bear to think
he might be a danger to her, so he works that much harder to make sure he isn't. As much as it pains
me to say it, I know how much he loves her. Where Bella's safety is concerned, I trust him. I
despise him, but I trust him."

"And right now, he's confessing his feelings, and asking Bella to chose him over you."

"It's nothing that I don't deserve."

"Maybe," she said, then smiled kindly and took my hand. "But isn't that the nature of love? It's
undeserved. That's what makes it such a gift." Alice stood up then, her eyes daring me to question
her logic. "Now, the sooner you finish hunting, the sooner you can get back to Bella. I'm sure she'll
be anxious to tell you all about her amusing trip to La Push."

I wasn't as certain as Alice seemed to be that Bella would want to talk about what happened, but I
knew in that moment how necessary it was. Assuming Bella turned Jacob down – which, for my
sanity, I had to believe – I wanted her to know that I understood if his confession had made her
question her options. She had to know I wasn't upset with her, that honestly, I would expect nothing
less. The important thing was that she knew what her heart wanted. As long as I was still who she
wished to spend forever with, we could put everything else behind us.

Alice hunted with me over the next hour. I tried to concentrate, but my focus simply wasn't there.
When I couldn't stand it any longer, I asked if Bella was home yet.

She scowled at me. "Well, I haven't seen anything, so I would assume not. Relax, okay? Remember
why you came today in the first place."

"I haven't forgotten. But if the point was to prepare me for the fight, in whatever way possible, then
I think it's time I headed home. I'm strong in all the ways Carlisle intended by insisting on this trip.
My mind is what I have to prepare now – and it's not doing me one bit of good being away from
her."

36
Frustrated that her positive words hadn't seemed to do much good, her thoughts launched into a
steady stream of insults. After a few moments, though, her silent tirade ended in something that
resembled acceptance, and really, that was all I could ask for.

"You'll tell the others?" I hedged. "I mean, you'll make them understand why I had to leave?"

"Consider it done. I've already seen their reactions. Em and Jazz aren't going to let this one go
easily. Carlisle, however, will smile and make some offhanded comment about the whims of young
love."

"Thanks," I breathed.

"What kind of a sister would I be if I wasn't willing to make excuses for my pathetic, love-sick
brother?"

With one last nod of understanding, Alice waved me away. "Go. Wait at the line like I know you
want to."

"Thanks," I repeated, already running

I'd noticed Bella had forgotten to take her phone with her, so I was expecting to get a call from
Jacob at some point. Although I knew it was possible he would simply drive her home himself, I
was letting myself hope she would prefer I picked her up. I wanted to think all his confession would
do would be to create an awkwardness between them that Bella would be anxious to get away from.

I knew it would show far greater patience and sensibility to wait for her call at home, but as soon as
my car was in sight, I knew sensibility wasn't going to win this time. I was inside the Volvo, engine
revving, as I clutched my cell phone expectantly. I'd barely pulled out of the driveway when it rang.

"Bella?" I answered immediately. "You left the phone... I'm sorry, did Jacob drive you home?"

"Yes," she muttered, irritation saturating her voice. That was definitely a good sign. "Will you come
and get me, please?"

"I'm on my way." My brief moment of excitement over my perceived victory quickly dissipated
when I realized there was more to the edge in her voice than just frustration. There wasn't even a

37
hint of the awkwardness I'd allowed myself to hope for, and her request for me to pick her up
sounded more pleading than I could have imagined. "What's wrong?" I asked nervously.

"I want Carlisle to look at my hand. I think it's broken."

On another day, under different circumstances, I might have lovingly chided her on being more
careful. Somehow, though, I could hear that this injury wasn't the product of Bella's usual
carelessness. When she fell or bumped into something, there was always an air of casual
indifference in her voice. A day in the life, so to speak.

Not today. Today, her voice was ice cold.

"What happened?" I asked, my knuckles clenching as I imagined all the ways that filthy beast could
have harmed her.

"I punched Jacob," she said dryly, offering no further explanation. Not that I needed one. Whatever
her reason, I was sure he deserved it. Considering the events that had most surely unfolded, I could
say with confidence that punching Jacob was a wise choice, and I was proud of her for acting so
prudently.

"Good," I assured her. "Though I'm sorry you're hurt."

She laughed quietly, then sighed. "I wish I'd hurt him. I didn't do any damage at all."

"I can fix that," I said lightly, sure she was joking and trying to play along.

"I was hoping you would say that." There was absolutely no trace of humor in her voice. I was so
stunned that, for a moment, my foot let off the gas. Since when did Bella grant me permission to
harm her best friend?

"That doesn't sound like you," I said gently. Although I couldn't entirely explain the feeling, I was
almost afraid to ask the next question. "What did he do?"

"He kissed me," she said without hesitation, her tone biting. If there were still blood in my veins, it
would have been boiling to the point of explosion. It felt as if acid were rising in my throat, a burn
completely different than the familiar pain of thirst. As if of its own volition, the engine raced and

38
charged forward, my hands gripping the wheel as my foot pressed to the floor, urging it to go faster
than it already was.

The only thing keeping me from jumping out of my own skin at that moment, was the knowledge
that Bella was upset with Jacob, and had called me. Obviously, the kiss had been entirely one sided.
However, that also meant it had been against Bella's will, which only made me more furious.

"Is the dog still there?" I asked. I thought I'd heard he and Charlie speaking in the background, but
how could Charlie have allowed him to stay after what he'd done?

"Yes," she answered, and my rage spiked. Jacob had kissed Bella without her permission. Why was
he still in their home? Why was he still standing?

"I'm around the corner," I told her. As my car came to a screeching halt outside her house, I had
every intention of fulfilling Bella's wishes and finishing what she had started. It took every ounce of
strength within me, but I waited outside while she informed Charlie her hand was swelling. My fists
clenched, almost painfully with the effort it was taking to restrain myself from breaking the door
down... and then breaking Jacob.

Yet, when she opened the door, the moment I saw her kind eyes – no fury, only love for me – I
knew taking care of her was the only thing I needed to worry about. Dealing with Jacob could wait.

"Let me see," I said softly, lifting her hand with more care than I'd ever taken with her, fragile as
she'd always been. It was the first time I was grateful for my icy skin. I could see the relief on her
face as I touched it softly. There was a fair amount of swelling, and I could already feel a bruise
forming below the surface.

"I think you're right about the break. I'm proud of you. You must have put some force behind this."

"As much as I have. Not enough, apparently," she added sulkily.

I kissed her hand lightly, letting my cool breath wash over her injury. I wanted to take all her pain
away, and as I looked into her eyes, I felt a flash of excitement that soon, she would not be so
delicate. When she was changed, she could punch that mongrel properly. In the meantime,
however...

39
"I'll take care of it," I said with a slight smile, calling, "Jacob."

If he'd had a thought in his thick skull up to that point, I hadn't heard it. My every sense was
focused on Bella. Now, though, she was watching me expectantly, and Jacob's stare was boring into
me.

"Now, now," Charlie warned.

Yeah, leech. What are you gonna do to me with Charlie here? Not so tough when Chief Swan is
watching, are you?

"I don't want any fighting, do you understand?" Charlie said, glaring at me as Jacob grinned. "I can
go put my badge on it that makes my request more official."

I felt Bella sigh at my side, whether from disappointment or embarrassment I wasn't sure.

"That won't be necessary," I said calmly. Bella, however, was not calm. I heard her heart start
racing.

"Why don't you arrest me, Dad?" she snapped. "I'm the one throwing punches."

Charlie nearly laughed, and I suddenly remembered how irritating the whole situation was. Why
was he still acting like I was the bad guy? I should have been standing in line behind Charlie to
make Jacob suffer for his actions.

"Do you want me to press charges, Jake?" he asked sarcastically.

"No," Jacob said, grinning. "I'll take the trade any day." Not like it hurt, anyway. And even if it had,
I still have the memory of Bella's sweet lips on mine to take the pain away.

I cringed, silently reminding myself the importance of restraint, composure. Pummeling Jacob
wouldn't solve anything. Except that it would make Bella feel better... and I'd never wanted to wipe
the smirk off his face more than at that second.

"Dad, don't you have a baseball bat somewhere in your room? I want to borrow it for a minute,"
Bella said, snapping me out of what was likely a very dangerous train of thought.

40
"Enough, Bella," Charlie said with a tone of authority that really would have been better directed at
Jacob. Did he honestly think him such a great person that his actions deserved no consequences?
What would he think if he knew Jacob spent the majority of his time these days running around on
all fours, hunting vampires, and sharing thoughts with the rest of the Quileute boys?

I felt Bella's anger escalating next to me, her body temperature rising as her glare shirted between
Charlie and Jacob.

"Let's go have Carlisle look at your hand before you wind up in a jail cell," I said calmly, pulling
her closer.

"Fine," she mumbled, sinking into my embrace and effectively silencing my lingering thoughts of
revenge.

Jacob's mind was babbling insults, and Charlie's was his usual dizzying medley of conflicting
thoughts. I still couldn't understand his nonchalance about Jacob. Where was the over-protective
father figure I knew him to be? Then, I heard it; a shift in the tenor of his thoughts. It happened
when he saw the way I has holding onto Bella, gently guiding her through the door and down the
stairs. Something registered, if only for a moment, and I could hear that he understood. I was Bella's
protector. I was taking every precaution, bound and determined not to let anything hurt her more
than she already was – and Jacob was just standing there with a sly grin on his face.

Charlie glanced at Jacob, a flicker of irritation passing over him, followed by an uncharacteristic
wave of guilt. Had he been defending the wrong person? As quickly as it had entered his mind,
however, it disappeared. Too long had he been fighting for Jacob, standing up for the boy he
deemed worthy to date his daughter.

Bella and I were already outside when Jacob finally managed to pull his thoughts together and form
a coherent sentence. He was walking toward us while Charlie warned him not to.

You're seriously just going to walk away? Aw, I was looking forward to this. Can't show your
strength in front of Charlie... you'd have to pretend you weren't a freak for a few minutes. It would
have been a welcome change.

41
I couldn't show my strength, but Jacob couldn't phase. I would have him out of sight before
Charlie's eyes could focus on the scene before him. As furious as Bella was, however, I knew it
wasn't what she really wanted. I kept walking, tightening my grip on Bella just slightly to stop
myself from doing something she would regret. I helped her into the car, making sure she was
comfortable before turning to Jacob.

"I'm not going to kill you now, because it would upset Bella," I said calmly.

"Hmph," she sighed dejectedly. I smiled at her, wondering if she knew how happy that small sound
had made me.

"It would bother you in the morning," I assured her, touching her cheek, thrilled by her smile and
the heat in her skin beneath my fingers. Jacob was trying to keep his thoughts from me, but from
what I heard, that exchange hurt him more than anything else she'd said. I turned back to Jacob, his
expression seething.

"But if you ever bring her back damaged again – and I don't care whose fault it is; I don't care if she
merely trips, or if a meteor falls out of the sky and hits her in the head – if you return her to me in
less than the perfect condition that I left her in, you will be running with three legs. Do you
understand that, mongrel?"

Jacob rolled his eyes but I could hear a trace of fear as he processed my words. He knew I could
break him like a twig, and without Bella urging me not to, I had no reason to keep my impulses in
check.

"Who's going back?" Bella murmured from the car.

Though I wished I could turn and smile at her again, I didn't want to break eye contact with Jacob.
He needed to know that I was absolutely serious.

"And if you ever kiss her again, I will break your jaw for her."

Wow, jealous much? Can't handle a little competition? His cockiness had returned, but I could hear
every thought as it jumped through his mind. He was afraid – not just of me, but that he might have

42
actually lost Bella over his juvenile stunt. I saw it; the moment he kissed her and the thing he
himself didn't want to admit – Bella hadn't reciprocated the kiss, even for an instant.

"What if she wants me to?" he asked. Please want me to, Bella.

"Hah!" she laughed. Jacob kept his gaze fixed on me. He couldn't stand to look at Bella furious with
him any longer.

"If that's what she wants, then I won't object," I assured him. "You might want to wait for her to say
it, rather than trust your interpretation of body language – but it's your face."

Jacob smiled as he imagined Bella running up to his house. The door opened and she flew into his
arms, kissing him the way he wished she had today. As if Bella could see his delusion as clearly as I
had, she muttered, "You wish."

"Yes, he does," I said softly, feeling a brief moment of pity for him. I could only imagine the pain
of loving Bella without having her love in return.

The image he longed for so deeply vanished, and he focused his glare on me once more. "Well, if
you're done rummaging through my head, why don't you go take care of her hand?" You may have
her now, but forever is a long time. As soon as she figures that out, you might not look like such a
prize.

So, Jacob was banking on Bella getting bored with me. I suppose it was something to be
considered. He was right, after all. Forever is a long time. Eternity was a hard enough concept for
me and my family to comprehend, and we'd had countless years to ponder it. Bella was only human.
I'd wondered many times if she really knew what she was asking for.

Still, I had promised I would stop trying to make her choices for her – and she had chosen me. Me,
my family, this life. She'd made up her mind, and if I let myself be truly honest, I'd grown rather
used to the idea. Bella was mine, now and forever. I wasn't about to let her go.

"One more thing," I said, looking straight at Jacob. "I'll be fighting for her, too. You should know
that. I'm not taking anything for granted, and I'll be fighting twice as hard as you will."

43
"Good," he said, unshaken. "It's no fun beating someone who forfeits." Then, he sent another slew
of sought after images toward me, some less than decent, and smiled casually as I cringed.

"She is mine," I growled. "I didn't say I would fight fair."

"Neither did I."

"Best of luck."

His smile widened, and he nodded slightly. Filthy leech... Bella will come to her senses soon
enough. "Yes, may the best man win."

It never ceased to amaze me how easily Jacob could forget his own abnormality. Was a wolf really
so much better than a vampire?

"That sounds about right... pup," I said, happy when I saw a favorite image of he and Bella tainted
by the thought of him phasing before her eyes. Even in his mind, she disappeared as he ran off after
his pack.

Trying his best to smile through the pain only I knew he was feeling, Jacob turned to Bella. "I hope
your hand feels better soon. I'm really sorry you're hurt."

Bella didn't respond. She wouldn't even look at him. I'm an idiot, he thought, his eyes glazing over.

Yes. But loves turns us all into fools. I knew that better than most.

Jacob was already gone by the time I reached the car. "How do you feel?" I asked her.

"Irritated."

"I meant your hand," I laughed.

"I've had worse," she shrugged. That was putting it mildly. I felt a stab of pain as I remembered the
far worse injuries she'd sustained at the hands of James. All because of me.

"True,"I said quietly, trying to push away my guilt.

44
I'm not sure whether I was more relieved or concerned that Bella didn't seem to want to talk about
the day's events. I'd seen the highlights through the medium of Jacob's thoughts, but it occurred to
me about halfway home that I still didn't know how she'd responded to his confession of love. I
assumed it had happened in the moments before his unbidden kiss. Had it been a last, desperate
attempt, or had Bella given him reason to think she wanted him to kiss her?

The curiosity was eating away at me, but I didn't want to say anything to upset Bella more than she
already was. When he arrived home, Emmett was helping Rose work on the Jeep – well, not so
much helping as holding it up while she did all the work. It was a good thing he didn't seem to have
any self-esteem issues, since Rose was better than him at basically everything.

Well, this oughta be good, Emmett thought, watching as I carefully helped Bella out of the car. I
glared at him, silently begging him to drop it, but Emmett couldn't be stopped.

"Fall down again, Bella?"

Bella's glare put mine to shame. "No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face."

He was startled for a moment, trying to figure out if she was serious. Then, he burst into a fit of
laughter.

Well, what do you know? The girl's got a spine after all, Rose thought, still under the car. "Jasper's
going to win the bet," she said. I could tell she was grinning.

Emmett's laughter stopped. No. Just because she's got a bit of a temper doesn't mean she's going to
go all homicidal.

"What bet?" Bella asked, her brow pulling together as she watched Emmett.

"Let's get you to Carlisle," I said, hoping futilely to distract her. I faced Emmett, my eyes fierce, a
growl too low for Bella to hear rumbling in my chest as I shook my head at him. Not now. Please.

"What bet?" she repeated, turning toward me.

45
"Thanks, Rosalie," I snarled under my breath, still trying to move Bella into the house. I knew I'd
have to tell her, but maybe it could at least wait until we were inside with Carlisle. She would be
upset, and there was no one better than Carlisle to talk to her about this particular issue.

"Edward..." she continued. I sighed, attempting to stall a little longer.

"It's infantile," I started. "Emmett and Jasper like to gamble."

"Emmett will tell me," she said, struggling to look back at him.

I held her tightly as I chose my words carefully. "They're betting on how many times you... slip up
in the first year."

"Oh," she breathed quietly. It took a few seconds for the full weight of what I was saying to set in,
but then I felt her shiver. "They have a bet about how many people I'll kill?"

"Yes," I sighed. "Rosalie thinks your temper will turn the odds in Jasper's favor." Where was
Carlisle when I needed him? His personal success would remind her that slipping up wasn't
necessarily a guarantee. I refused to get involved in their childish bet, but if I had, my money would
be on a perfect scorecard for her. I would watch her, help her. I could keep her out of temptation's
way.

She was still watching me, horrified. "Jasper's betting high."

"It will make him feel better if you have a hard time adjusting. He's tired of being the weakest link,"
I said, trying to take the focus off of her.

"Sure. Of course it will. I guess I could throw in a few extra homicides, if it makes Jasper happy.
Why not?" Her tone was flat, but I could hear the hysteria that was bubbling right under the surface.
She would be hyperventilating in a a few moments if I couldn't get her mind off of it.

"You don't need to worry about it now," I said, hugging her tightly to me. "In fact, you don't have to
worry about it ever, if you don't want to."

46
Bella made a pained sound and I realized that in my panic, I had forgotten about her injured hand. I
quickly hurried her into the house, where Carlisle was already waiting. Alice was standing beside
him, an extremely prideful expression on her face as she looked at Bella.

I couldn't see it until you two were alone, she thought, beaming at me. Told you you didn't have
anything to worry about. Sure wish I could have seen that punch, though. The look on Jacob's face
must have been priceless.

I smiled back, more than a little proud myself, then walked with Bella into Carlisle's office. He had
everything he needed to examine her hand there. I would never admit it, and I hoped it never
occurred to her, but before Bella, Carlisle had never kept many medical supplies on hand – just a
few things for when he brought his work home with him. There had never been any need. Now, his
office was practically a second hospital.

"It's a very small fracture, and it should heal fairly quickly," Carlisle told her. "I'd still like to put a
cast on, but if you're strongly opposed, a brace should be sufficient. If you promise to keep it on all
the time, that is."

"I promise," she said, blushing, then muttered, "Can't believe I'm the one in the stupid brace..." I had
a feeling her embarrassment was starting to outweigh the physical pain.

As Carlisle carefully secured the brace to her hand, a strange expression crossed Bella's face. I
worried that she was hurting and offered to get her a pain reliever, but she shook her head and
assured me she was all right. I looked to Carlisle, and he shrugged his shoulders unobtrusively.

She doesn't appear to be in much pain. She's able to hold her hand fairly steady and her pulse
hasn't increased as I've added pressure. She's fine, Edward. She's just had a long day.

I watched him for several minutes, the way he meticulously cared for her injury. After all these
years, helping people was still his greatest joy in life. A hint of a smile tugged at his lips as he
finished.

"There," he said softly. "You'll be as good as new in no time."

47
I looked back at Bella, expecting her to be watching Carlisle the way I had been, but her gaze was
fixed on me. She muttered a quiet "thank you" to Carlisle, but her attention was clearly elsewhere.
She was staring at me with a strange longing I'd never seen before. It seemed Carlisle felt the
tension in the air as well, because he disappeared without another word.

"Bella?" I asked, suddenly nervous. "Do you want me to take you home?"

She shook her head, eyes never leaving mine. I took two steps, closing the distance between us, and
hugged her gently. When I went to pull away, she muttered, "no," almost silently, and pressed
herself to me, holding on even tighter than usual. Silently, with her uninjured hand, she took hold of
mine, and pulled me toward my room.

I didn't ask what was bothering her. We didn't say another word the rest of the evening. We simply
held each other – and I was left wondering what secret thoughts she was hiding, and what I could
do to take that look of unknown sadness from her eyes.

Epoch – EPOV

I'd never been able to read Bella as well as I wanted to, although I'd like to think I've gotten better at
it as we've spent more time together. The days following my mandatory hunting trip, however,
made me feel blind and helpless. I couldn't even begin to guess what was going through her mind.
All I knew was that she was looking at me with a strange new kind of longing that was somehow
both flattering and unsettling. I hoped to discover some clue through Alice, but she either didn't
know what was going on, or was getting exceptionally good at blocking me.

"You worry too much, Edward," she trilled on her way out to buy Bella's graduation outfit.
Apparently, all the things Bella had been considering wearing were "unacceptable options."

Alice had informed me that I was not allowed to come along for the outfit unveiling, telling me it
was more fun to let it be a surprise, which left me with an afternoon of stewing. Carlisle came
downstairs to find me pacing, and gently placed a hand on my shoulder.

"We're all going to be fine," he said softly, misreading my concerned expression.

48
"I know," I assured him. It was a little surprising to realize that I genuinely meant it. Oddly enough,
the upcoming battle was the last thing on my mind. I'd been so preoccupied with figuring out who'd
been in Bella's room, not to mention counting the days until graduation. How long after that fateful
day would she want to be changed? Would she grant me a few months, or weeks, or would she
insist it happen immediately? We'd discussed waiting until after she'd supposedly started college,
the infamous cover story to appease Charlie, but nothing had been set in stone. Now, with her
things being taken by an unknown vampire, and an army of newborns ready to attack, I was certain
she was more anxious than ever.

Of course, the timing wasn't the only thing on my mind. I'd spent a lot of time lately thinking about
our ridiculous bargain. More specifically, I was thinking about whether or not Bella was thinking
about it. Not long ago, we'd spoken so openly with each other about the whole arrangement. I
understood her side, or at least I was trying to – these days eighteen and married didn't often go
together. Yet, somehow, it seemed she was beginning to understand where I was coming from, and
why it was so important to me. Soon, she would be a part of my world, timeless, ageless... She was
already giving me forever, what reason was there not to promise eternity as my wife?

Edward? Carlisle was looking at me, perplexed. I had frozen in place, my eyes focused on nothing
in particular.

"I'm sorry, I just have a lot of my mind."

"With good reason. But if you're truly not worried about what we're about to face with the
newborns, then what could possibly be highest on your list of concerns?"

I looked at him, almost embarrassed to say it. In the grand scheme of things, surely there were more
pressing matters.

"You know you can always talk to me about anything, right?"

"You've always been very kind and understanding, Carlisle. And I've always been honest with you,
about every fear, every dark moment of my life. You helped me when I didn't know whether I was
strong enough to be with Bella. You encouraged me, trusted me, and then you welcomed her in like
a daughter. It shouldn't be difficult to talk to you now, yet I'm finding it hard to even form the
words."

49
"You're worried about her transformation."

"Of course I am, but because I made that absurd bargain, there's so much more to it than that. I'm
constantly on edge, wondering if she's going to accept my proposal or not. If she doesn't, that means
she's starting her new life still afraid of marrying me, and I'm having a hard time making sense of
that. If she agrees to it, though, then I'm faced with the seemingly impossible task of changing her
myself. How could I have promised such a thing, Carlisle? I don't know whether or not I'm strong
enough to do that!"

"You are strong enough. You've tasted her blood before, under far more dire circumstances than
what you'll face should you be in that position once more. When you saved her life, it was a split
second decision. You weren't given time first to prepare yourself, which is a luxury you will now
have. You two will have to discuss this, of course, but if you wish, I can be present. Perhaps
Emmett as well, ready to stop you if it becomes too much. We won't let you hurt her, I can promise
you that. Not that I think you're capable of it, anyway."

"Thank you. You've always had more faith in me than I deserve. I want to believe you. I need to
believe you. We've just come so far, Carlisle, and now I don't know what to do next."

The strangest smile crept onto his face and I could hear a brief flicker of a conversation with Alice
before he stopped his thoughts in their tracks. I raised one eyebrow in question and he laughed.

"It's not my place to say, but suffice it to say, Alice doesn't think you have anything to worry
about."

"Are you really choosing now to be cryptic?" I asked, trying not to be irritated. His smile only
widened.

"You're not the only one who's had a lot on their mind lately. Try to be patient with Bella, and let
her sort things out for herself. This is the biggest decision she will ever make, and you want her to
be completely certain."

I wasn't sure if he was talking about her transformation, or marriage, or something else entirely, but
I suddenly felt even more in the dark than I had before. I sighed, frustrated, and Carlisle's
expression shifted.

50
"You two will sort things out," he said in his kind, fatherly tone. "Right now, however, I believe
you have another graduation to attend. What number is this now?"

"Please don't remind me."

"All right. Remember, though, this is the first time for Bella, and you don't want her to be late."

"So, do you think that maybe after Bella is changed, we can hold off on starting the whole high
school charade again? I really do think she'd enjoy college."

His eyes went somber and I heard what he wouldn't say out loud. It would be some time before
Bella would be ready to be anywhere near students, high school or college. His face softened again
quickly, and he smiled his warmest, most reassuring smile.

"You'll watch over her. You won't let her do anything she will spend forever regretting. Then, when
she's ready, you can help her get the finest college education she could ever dream of."

I forced a smile, then ran upstairs to get ready. If it was possible for me to feel my age, I would
have felt it as I stared at the row of graduation attire tucked away at the back of my closet. What
colors were the Forks High gowns? Blue? Yellow? Had I really been paying so little attention?
With a roll of my eyes, I grabbed both colors and headed down to my car.

When I arrived, Bella looked radiant but nervous. There was still a hint of whatever baffling
emotion had been plaguing her these past few days. She was showing an obvious anxiety about the
upcoming event, but her pulse slowed and her posture relaxed as soon as I took her in my arms. She
smiled up at me warmly as I surrounded myself with her luscious scent and held her close. When
she reluctantly pulled away, I took a moment to really look at her. Alice had outdone herself again.
She knew I loved Bella in blue, a lovely compliment to her chocolate brown hair, and her eyes were
deeper than ever as she stared up at me.

I was whispering to Bella how lovely she was when Charlie cleared his throat and signaled that it
was time for us to leave. I had expected Alice to be waiting at the house, anxious to show off Bella's
new ensemble, but apparently she'd left a few minutes before I'd arrived, explaining that she would
meet us there. Maybe she didn't want to intrude on Bella and Charlie's time together. He would
never admit it, but he was finding it harder to let go of Bella than he'd expected. This evening was

51
very special to him, and I was more than happy to step aside and let him fulfill his fatherly role.
Which was why I'd agreed to ride quietly in the back seat while Charlie drove.

I listened to Charlie's fascinating mind, which was, strangely enough, clearer than usual. It seemed
as if the more irritated he was with me, the more coherent he sounded. I could always hear the tenor
of his thoughts, but tonight, it was quite obvious he was wishing the end of high school meant the
end of my time with Bella. He kept glancing back at me, thinking it was hilarious to see me riding
in the back of his police car, though there wasn't a single crime he could actually imagine me
committing. I smiled, happy that although he may never approve of me dating his daughter, in his
heart, he knew I was a good person.

I knew it was coming, but I still felt assaulted as we neared the parking lot. There were few times
when people's minds were racing more than at a high school graduation, even one as small as this.
Every student and every parent was going over checklists and thinking about the future. It was also
a time for nostalgia and reminiscing about the past four years. After so many decades, it shouldn't
still bother me, but I couldn't fight off the twinge of bitterness. For everyone else, it was the end of
one era and the start of the next. Their lives were moving forward while mine stayed forever locked
in place.

This time, however, I would have Bella by my side. My constant, beautiful, perfect reminder that
my unchanging life was finally about to take a step forward. I looked toward her with a smile, but
her expression made all my feelings of comfort disappear. I wanted to believe that it was just
nerves, but it seemed like there was something more just under the surface. She was staring absently
out the window, and every once in awhile, her eyes would widen and she looked as if she were
trying to focus in on something.

"Are you all right?" I asked quietly when we arrived at the school.

"Nervous," she said, attempting a smile. Though I suspected otherwise, it was easy to convince
myself that was all that was bothering her. Attention, in any form, made her uncomfortable. While
this evening, for me, meant an hour or so of boredom, it was so much worse for her.

52
"You are so beautiful," I told her. I was about to add in a whisper that if this was the last graduation
she ever wanted to attend, that was fine with me. It was one part of the charade I wouldn't mind
doing away with. Unfortunately, I was interrupted by Charlie.

He wedged himself in between us, and I guiltily found myself thinking about a time in the not-too-
distant future when no one, not even Charlie, would be coming between us ever again. I quickly
banished the thought, reminding myself that this was Charlie's night with Bella, and I needed to
allow them this time. It wasn't only for Charlie's sake, either. I knew Bella needed some sort of
closure with her father, and, by its very nature, this night already had an air of finality to it. I
wondered if that was why she seemed out of sorts.

Charlie hugged Bella tighter than I'd ever seen, and gave her an abbreviated version of the speech
that was running through his mind. Bella seemed a little embarrassed by his sudden affection, but if
she could have seen what I was seeing, her face would have been three shades redder. His mind was
playing images like they were old home movies, reminiscing about his little girl – the times they'd
spent together, and the time he was only now realizing he'd lost. I almost wanted to push Bella back
into his arms again, but he was already putting the walls back up.

"Dad, please don't get all weepy on me," she mumbled.

"Who's weepy?" he asked, trying to keep his emotions from escaping. "Now, why aren't you
excited?"

"I don't know, Dad. I guess it hasn't hit yet or something." I wondered if I imagined the look of
panic that flickered in her eyes.

"It's good that Alice is throwing this party," Charlie told her. "You need something to perk you up."

"Sure. A party's exactly what I need."

I wanted to talk to Bella again, to see if she was ready to discuss whatever was bothering her. After
Charlie had given her one last squeeze and wished her luck, I tried to pull her aside, but the chaos
around us escalated before I had the chance. She looked at me wearily as we were shuffled off in
different directions, kept apart this time by alphabetization. I searched frantically for Alice in hopes

53
that she had seen something that might be helpful. Although, if Bella's nerves were about the
upcoming party, I was certain Alice would be doing her best to hide it from me.

Alice didn't show up until the last possible minute, flitting into line right before our names were
called, with a smile on her face. She wouldn't look me in the eye, wouldn't say a word. She wasn't
even thinking in English. Then, the moment she stepped off the stage, she was gone. I don't know
how she disappeared unseen when there were so many people around, but even I hadn't actually
caught her exit, so I supposed she hadn't raised any suspicion.

I was agitated, wishing I could escape like Alice, but I wanted to see Bella receive her diploma.
She'd worked hard to get good grades, somehow managing to keep them up even when the madness
of my world threatened to break her. On top of good grades, Bella also had a wonderful circle of
friends who genuinely cared for her, despite Charlie's concerns that she spent all her time with me.
Obnoxious as he was, even Mike wanted the best for her, although to him, that would mean Bella
dumping me right after graduation.

I smiled as I listened to the thoughts swirling around me, enjoying them in a way I never had. I
wouldn't quite call it nostalgia since there wasn't really anything about this place I would be missing
– Bella had been the only part of my Forks High experience that had broken the monotony. Still,
Forks had brought me to Bella, and for that, I would be forever in its debt. Wherever we ended up
after she was changed, this would be the place Bella and I had fallen in love, where we'd beat the
odds stacked so high against us – where she'd been human, in love with a vampire.

When Bella walked onto that stage, her cheeks adorably red and her eyes pointed to the ground, I
felt a surge of pride. Whatever happened, at least she'd gotten to have this human experience. I
heard Charlie, Jacob, and Billy cheering for her, and caught a smile fluttering across her lips. Then,
she glanced toward my row briefly, meeting my eyes for only a moment before they began
searching again. She looked concerned. Maybe she was looking for Alice and worrying that she'd
already left to finish the party details.

When the ceremony was over, I walked up behind Bella and wrapped my arms around her.

"Congratulations," I said softly, my lips brushing against her ear.

"Um, thanks." She was still looking around distractedly.

54
"You don't look like you're over the nerves yet."

"Not quite yet."

"What's left to worry about? The party? It won't be that horrible."

"You're probably right." It wasn't until I saw her halfhearted smile that I started getting the sinking
feeling that Alice's disappearance and Bella's concerned expression were related. Alice had been
working extraordinarily hard at keeping me out, but how could Bella have possibly known that?

"Who are you looking for?" I asked, hoping my fears were unjustified. She could searching for
Jessica or Angela. I'd even settle for her trying to find Mike Newton if it meant nothing was wrong.

"Alice," she said sheepishly. "Where is she?"

"She ran out as soon as she had her diploma."

What did Alice know that she was so determined to keep from me? It had to be about the newborns
– something must have happened. Still, how would Bella know something about the situation that I
didn't? I stared at the door, planning my exit, no longer concerned with keeping up appearances. I
was about to make my escape when Bella stopped me.

"Worrying about Alice?" she asked, attempting to sound casual but failing miserably.

"Er..." The last thing I wanted was Bella thinking that I was worrying. I was fairly certain her ability
to deal with the extreme circumstances that were soon heading directly for us, was largely due to
the fact that I was working so hard to keep my nerves at bay.

"What was she thinking about, anyway? To keep you out, I mean."

That stopped me in my tracks. Being accustomed to having nearly limitless insight into what
everyone around me is thinking, it was more than a little unsettling to realize I was being kept in the
dark on purpose.

"She was translating the Battle Hymn of the Republic into Arabic, actually. When she finished that,
she moved on the Korean sign language."

55
Bella laughed, her eyes wide and focused everywhere but on me. I'd never seen her afraid to talk to
me before, which was making my panic grow more every second.

"I suppose that would keep her head busy enough."

"You know what she's hiding from me," I said flatly. It wasn't a question. I knew I was being
conspired against.

"Sure," she said, feigning nonchalance. "I'm the one who came up with it."

Being caught off guard wasn't something I was used to, and I waited, confused and frustrated. I
stared at her, silently pleading to put me out of my misery. What did Alice know that she would
make her confide in Bella but not me? It had to be something so terrible, they thought me incapable
of handing reasonably.

For a moment, I panicked, fearing as I had before that the army of newborns had decided we were a
threat to their claimed territory. Perhaps Alice had seen a vision of them coming to destroy us, and
when Bella realized what was happening, she'd insisted on being changed right away. I was having
visions of Bella being whisked away. Alice had offered to change her once before – was she about
to make good on her promise? It would explain Alice's determination to keep me out of her head, as
well as Bella's obvious nervousness.

She was looking everywhere but at me, which didn't help me feel any more at ease.

"Knowing Alice," she said quietly, still not meeting my gaze, "she'll probably try to keep this from
you until after the party. But since I'm all for the party being canceled – well, don't go berserk,
regardless, okay? It's always better to know as much as possible. It has to help somehow."

She was babbling, clearly avoiding the subject. "What are you talking about?"

"Just stay calm, okay?" Nothing good has every followed those words. I nodded, not because I
wanted her to continue, but because I needed her to. Whatever was coming for us, she had to know
I would protect her. There was no need to rush into things out of fear.

"I think you're wrong about things coming at us from all sides. I think it's mostly coming at us from
one side... and I think it's coming at me, really. It's all connected, it has to be. It's just one person

56
who's messing with Alice's visions. The stranger in my room was a test, to see if someone could get
around her. It's got to be the same one who keeps changing his mind, and the newborns, and
stealing my clothes – all of it goes together. My scent is for them."

No. Everything inside me instantly argued against the idea that this many vampires, something this
monumental could all be for Bella. Then again, where Bella was concerned, I suppose anything is
possible. She'd already managed to enrage a group of nomads and get on the Volturi's hit list. Why
wouldn't there be an entire army created for her destruction?

"But no one's coming for you, don't you see? This is good – Esme and Alice and Carlisle, no one
wants to hurt them!" Bella was speaking frantically, and it sounded like she was trying to make this
realization into a good thing. My mind was racing so fast, I was having a hard time focusing on her.

I didn't want to admit it, but in a sick way, it did all make sense. The timing of it all was too perfect.
That Alice could miss both the stranger in Bella's room and the creation of an army seemed nearly
impossible. It seemed almost ridiculously clear. Of course it was related, and I was a fool for not
seeing it sooner.

Through my sudden terror, I felt Bella's gentle touch on my cheek. "Calm," she said softly, and I
forced my eyes to meet hers. She looked like she wanted to say more, but at that moment, we heard
Charlie coming up behind us.

"Bella!" he was shouting. "Congratulations, baby!" He shoved me aside, though I was still reaching
toward Bella. Normally in far better control on my emotions, I shudder to think what showed on my
face. Fortunately, no one was looking at me – no one except Bella, that is. She was watching me
warily as Charlie worked to exclude me from the celebration.

As I watched Bella with Charlie, her desperate attempt to appear normal though she must be
terrified, I found myself furious. Her nervousness, all of her sideways glances, everything I hadn't
been able to read on her face now made sense. Whoever was after her had managed to ruin this day
for her, perhaps her last real human milestone, and for that, I'd never been more determined to
destroy them.

57
"You coming, too, Edward?" I heard Charlie mutter. I hadn't heard a word he'd said before that,
though I assumed he was begrudgingly inviting me to whatever post-graduation celebration he had
planned for Bella.

"No, thank you," I said, trying to muster up some amount of normalcy in my voice.

"Do you have plans with your parents?"

"Yes. If you'll excuse me..." I felt myself take off at a near run, hopefully catching my mistake and
slowing down before anyone noticed. I should have stayed to listen to the thoughts around me, but
at this point, what did it matter? We would soon be leaving Forks behind.

The moment the door closed behind me, I started listening. I knew Alice would have told the rest of
the family by now, and someone would be keeping guard. It didn't take long before I heard Emmett
muttering fight strategies as he circled the perimeter of the school. Assured Bella was protected, I
started running toward home, my cell phone already in my hand. It was ringing before I had time to
dial the number.

"Why didn't you tell me, Alice?" I shouted.

"She didn't want to upset you, and I figured a few hours wouldn't hurt. I was going to tell you before
the party."

"Right," I muttered, indignant.

"The rest of the family knows and are already mapping out a new strategy. Bella is safe. What harm
was done by letting you enjoy graduation?"

"This isn't about me! Bella was a nervous wreck the whole night. I could have been comforting her,
I could have been reassuring her that we're not going to let anyone hurt her."

"She knows that, Edward. And she wasn't nervous about someone coming after her, she was worried
that you would be upset. She's relieved, strange as that might sound. She's been terrified that the
newborns were coming after us, that something was going to happen to Esme, or me, or you. I
know you've never been fond of hearing about her complete lack of self preservation, but just this
once, could you listen to me when I tell you that Bella is fine!" There was silence on the other line

58
as I tried to process what Alice was telling me. "She's jumpy, but fine," she added when I didn't say
anything, and I heard the smile in her voice.

I slowed my run as I approached the house, determined to get myself together before going in. It
sounded like everyone else was okay with this new discovery, taking it one step at a time and
planning methodically. It was a struggle, but I tried to appear calm as I stepped inside.

You look better, Alice thought as I came inside. If only I didn't know you better. Still, it's nice that
you're trying. I sighed and mouthed, "thanks" to her. I could hear Carlisle in the living room, going
through the new information and what it meant for us.

"Assuming they really are only interested in Bella, then all we have to do to ensure they come to us,
is keep Bella here."

"That should be easy enough," Rosalie added sarcastically. "It's not like he's going to let her leave
the house now that he knows they're after her. And we thought he was over-protective before..."

"Rose, be kind. Your cynicism isn't going to help anyone."

Not cynicism if it's true...

"Edward, you're home," Esme said, interrupting me before I could say something that I probably
would have felt bad for later.

"Yes, I thought I should come check in with everyone before the party. I would suggest we cancel
it, but I'm assuming Alice will insist that the evening continue as planned." She smiled impishly at
me before running upstairs to get more decorations. If anything, this new development had made
her plans even more elaborate than they already were. Alice had decided that Bella needed as big a
distraction as possible.

"Alice told me you were upset," Carlisle said evenly, "but I think I agree with Bella. This is a good
thing."

"An entire army of newborns is after Bella – an army created by a vampire we still don't know the
identity of, by the way – and this is a good thing?"

59
"Think about it for a moment, Edward. We've been planning to seek this army out in their territory,
essentially going into the fight not only blind, but amid thousands of people. The newborns will
have no regard for them, yet we must. My biggest fear has been raging a war in a city of so many.
Now that we know what they're seeking, we know they will come to us."

"So Bella will just stay here and be your bait?"

I regretted it the moment I spoke, and the flash of agony in Carlisle's eyes made my guilt that much
worse. Of course he would never endanger Bella. He loved her as a daughter.

"I'm sorry," I said softly. "Forgive me for speaking so foolishly. I'm only trying to see things the
way you are. It's difficult."

"I understand. I'm frightened for her, too, but I also know that we will be ready. Whoever this leader
is most likely thinks they are a step ahead of us, since they've so far been able to get by Alice's
vision. We can hope that they are still unaware of your powers, though in truth, it doesn't matter.
Whether they know it or not, you will hear them coming."

That much, at least, was true. And if I was thinking about it rationally as the rest of my family was,
I could see how there were some advantages to fighting in our own territory. Assuming I heard
them in enough time, we could probably stop them from even entering town. A fight in our forest,
an area we all knew so well, did seem like a much better option than fighting in a city where we had
to worry about casualties and witnesses.

But where would Bella be throughout it all? Carlisle must have read my expression, or maybe we
were both having the same fear.

The wolves could protect her. My eyes flashed up to his, wide and angry at the suggestion, though
somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I'd had the thought as well. Edward, be reasonable, he
continued. We need you with us. Our numbers are already too few. There's nowhere else, no other
option that I can think of. They've guarded her before. Your feelings for Jacob aside, you know they
are trustworthy where Bella's safety is concerned.

60
As much as I wanted to, I couldn't argue, though I wondered if Bella would agree to it after Jacob's
most recent stunt. I could almost picture her sulking on the couch at Jacob's house, as unhappy with
the arrangement as I would be. Still, if it meant she was out of danger...

"Whatever you two are discussing, do you think we could possibly finish it later? We have a party
to get ready for!" Both Carlisle and I rolled our eyes. Only Alice could think of the party at a time
like this.

"Don't you think coming up with a new strategy is a little more important than a graduation party?"
I asked.

"Doesn't matter. It's too late to cancel. People will be on their way soon. Speaking of which,
shouldn't you be picking Bella up? They'll be finishing dinner any time, and she's expecting you." I
sighed. There was no point arguing with her, and if people were already getting ready, I knew there
was no hope of canceling. I hurried to the restaurant where Bella and Charlie were eating, and
waited for them to finish. Emmett was still pacing around outside, his mind a strange mixture of
focus and boredom. He was the only one not particularly enthused with our new "wait for them to
come" plan.

"Anything unusual?" I asked him.

Nothing. Not a single twig out of place. It was difficult not to be irritated that he sounded
disappointed. He must have read the frustration on my face because he turned instantly remorseful.
I'm sorry, it's not like you think, really. I just want this all to be over.

"Well, I'm definitely in agreement with you there."

I'm not gonna lie, I'm excited about the fight. It'll be nice to get out there are actually do something,
Hunting elk in the park is getting pretty boring.

"Glad to hear Bella being stalked has brought purpose to your mundane life," I muttered
sarcastically.

61
Will you just listen, please? Yes, I'm excited. Yes, I'm looking forward to showing those newborns
who's territory this is. But you know what I'm most excited about? I shrugged, then nearly gasped
when I saw what flashed through his mind.

Our family was standing triumphant in a protective circle around Bella. She was thanking us all,
then she took my hand and we ran off together. The next thing I saw was a changed Bella –
indestructible and glorious. It was as clear as Alice had ever seen her, as if Emmett had somehow
discovered a gift for precognition.

"I don't understand," I whispered, watching him wide-eyed. He sat down beside me and spoke
aloud.

"Assuming you don't find some way to screw things up for her, I'm pretty sure this is the last time
we'll be protecting Bella from anything. I know you don't want her making this choice out of fear,
and I understand why you won't let her be changed before the fight – the last thing we need is
another newborn to deal with. But when this is all over, there's nothing stopping her from getting
what she wants. Then you can finally stop worrying about her all the time and she canstop being
afraid. Now be honest. Doesn't that sound like a much better arrangement for everyone?"

It wasn't often Emmett surprised me, but I was speechless.

"Anyway," he continued casually, standing up. "Bella is in there making excuses to bolt from
dinner, and she's been not-so-subtly looking around for you for about a half an hour. I think she'd
rather see you than me waiting for her when she gets outside. I'll meet you two back at the house."
With a smirk, he took off running, and he was out of sight before I'd found the words to say to him.

It was amazing, the effect seeing Bella's future through the eyes of my family had on me. Knowing
how completely they accepted her, how certain they were that when all this insanity was over, Bella
would be with us forever... it made everything clear. Certain.

A few minutes passed before I saw Bella step outside, her hair flowing in the light breeze. I caught
her scent drifting toward me, pleasure and agony as it always was, and felt the familiar twinge of
sadness that soon, it would no longer torture me. This time, though, my despair was silenced by the
reminder that everything else – her beauty, her voice, her kindness, her love for me – all of it would
remain, and it would be mine to cherish forever.

62
I was suddenly overtaken by the need to be with her. Paying no attention to who was around, I
stepped out of the darkness and pulled her to me. I worried for a moment that I had startled her, but
she quickly melted into my embrace. I kissed her perhaps a little too hard, forgetting my strength –
forgetting everything – for that moment. It wasn't until I released her that I reminded myself she
was still fragile, and there was still danger. For now, at least.

"How are you?" she asked breathlessly.

"Not so great," I admitted. "But I've got a handle on myself. I'm sorry that I lost it back there."

"My fault. I should have waited to tell you."

"No. This is something I needed to know. I can't believe I didn't see it!"

"You've got a lot on your mind."

"And you don't?"

After the realization that something terrible was after her yet again, she was still determined to put
my feelings first. She would never let me feel a moment of remorse or guilt for not seeing what
should have been so obvious. I would never deserve her undying patience and selflessness. I kissed
her again, more gently this time, but was only allowed a brief moment to revel in her perfection.

"Charlie's on his way," I told her.

"I'll have him drop me at your house."

"I'll follow you there," I promised, disappearing back into the shadows.

"That's not really necessary," she started to say. By now, she must know I'm never far away.

I ran behind the car, listening with quiet amusement to their conversation. Charlie was letting his
emotions show to a small degree, and I was fairly certain Bella knew that it was only a shadow of
all he was feeling. He loved her, was proud of her, and would always be grateful that she'd chosen
to spend this time of her life with him. She expressed her gratitude, and I tried not to hear the

63
sadness behind the words I recognized as a sort of good-bye. I was just beginning to see the lights
in the distance that would lead to my door.

"Alice," Bella muttered, grudgingly, when she saw the endless rows of lights.

"Wow. She doesn't do things halfway, does she?" Charlie said, trying to hide how impressive he
actually found it all.

"Sure you don't want to come in?" Bella asked him.

"Extremely sure. Have fun, kid."

"Thanks so much, Dad."

I watched Bella take a deep breath as she exited the car, obviously steeling her resolve as she
approached the door. As Charlie drove away, a wide array of emotions fluttered through his mind as
he processed the events of the night. He'd never say it aloud, but amid his lingering thoughts of
dislike toward me, as he glanced in his rear-view mirror at our house, I could feel his gratitude
toward my family. He was happy to know Bella was taken care of, and though he didn't understand
it entirely, he could feel how well she fit in with us. He wanted Bella to have whatever made her
happy, and in that moment, he started to accept that we were exactly that.

I knew that even without her recent discovery, this night was going to be difficult for Bella, and
given the circumstances, I wasn't sure how I was going to get through it without going crazy. Yet as
I watched the lights reflect in Bella's eyes, the moonlight dancing through her hair, all I wanted was
to forget everything for the night. I wanted nothing more than to celebrate the end that would lead
to her beginning.

64
 PART 3

Please remember – I still didn’t write this. 

Alliance – EPOV

Over the decades, my family and I had all gotten used to pretending. Every day, I pretended
to be human, acted like a teenager, and feigned interest in subjects I knew more about than
most of the teachers. Still, pretending things were normal – that everything wasn't crashing
down on us – giving the illusion that we were all just normal seniors enjoying our
graduation party was going to be a very difficult task. As I watched Bella walk up the stairs
to my house, a look of sheer determination on her face, I thought about how much
pretending she had already done in order to keep the realities of our world a secret.

She constantly lied to Charlie, if not outright, then by omission. She played the part as if
she were planning on attending college rather than joining my family in eternity. Now, she
was about to walk into what should have been a celebration, but instead would amount to
an evening of pretending she wasn't fearing for her life yet again. I wanted to be happy, to
help her end this chapter of her life with joy and acceptance, but instead, I was plagued
with guilt as I stared at her expression. She was straining to put on the mask of normalcy
the way we'd all learned to over the years. She wasn't even one of us yet, and she already
felt the weight of our secrets.

"Bella?" I whispered, coming up behind her and wrapping my arms around her. She hadn't
said a word before my lips were on hers. I was frantic, desperately trying to grant her one
moment of happiness, one promise that not everything in our world was a lie.

She looked startled when I pulled away, and I was about to kiss her again when she
muttered, "Let's get this stupid party over with."
I held her face in my hands, not letting her break my gaze. "I won't let anything happen to
you," I promised. She smiled, reaching up to touch my lips, and I felt that familiar spark of
electricity her skin had always given me.

"I'm not worried about myself so much," she said softly.

"Why am I not surprised by that?" She scowled at me slightly, and I took a deep breath,
knowing our quiet moment was at an end. It was time for both of us to put on our best fake
smiles. Together, we would get through this evening and then, we could focus of what was
to come next. "Ready to celebrate?"

She groaned, and I pulled her close, knowing she wasn't going to be happy with the scene
Alice had set. If Bella was hoping for subtle, or anything resembling a normal graduation
party for that matter, she was about to be very disappointed. While the rest of us still saw
the advantages of keeping up appearances, Alice's attitude was that it didn't particularly
matter anymore if we blended in, since high school was over and Bella was about to
disappear forever.

"Unbelievable," Bella said when she walked through the door. I'd lived in this house for
years, and it was barely recognizable.

"Alice will be Alice," I sighed.

Having decorated every visible surface of the house, Alice was busying herself by
thumbing through a variety of music. Wouldn't hurt to bring a little bit of culture to this
town. Maybe some of it will stick, leave my mark after we leave...

"Edward!" she called, her eyes wildly excited at the prospect of playing a more eclectic mix
of music than Bella's friends were used to. I rolled my eyes. "I need your advice. Should we
give them familiar and comforting? Or educate their taste in music?"

"Keep it comforting," I told her. "You can only lead the horse to water." Disappointed, she
nodded, but I could hear there were a few favorite she was still planning on adding to the
mix. I looked at Bella who was watching Alice with a look I recognized. It was a look that
said, This is too much. I don't deserve this.

"I think I'm underdressed," she muttered. I certainly hoped her self-esteem issues would be
resolved when she was a vampire. She was a vision in the blue outfit Alice had given her.

"You're perfect."

"You'll do," Alice added, and I shot her a warning glare.

"Thanks," Bella sighed, then asked, "Do you really think people will come?"

I knew she wished the whole town would suddenly have better things to do, but Alice had
already seen them all deciding this party would be a fun way to end the exciting day, and
I'd heard the curiosity in their minds.

"Everyone will come," I told her, her heartbeat speeding up slightly. "They're all dying to
see the inside of the reclusive Cullens' mystery house."

"Fabulous," she groaned.

She reluctantly asked Alice if there was anything she could do to help, but of course, Alice
was in her own little world. "No, no, you two just finish getting ready," she said. Then she
took off, somehow managing to find even more unnecessary decorations. She was quietly
hoping Bella would put on makeup, or do something different with her hair. I held Bella
tightly, hoping she believed me when I assured her that nothing would make her more
beautiful in my eyes than she already was.

Bella stayed by my side while I spoke with Jasper about the new developments in our
situation. He sent her a gentle wave of calm, for which I was grateful, as we discussed the
reality of our having no extra help.

"Tanya's just being spiteful," I said, shaking my head. "Don't suppose with a little influence
on your part, they might reconsider?" I asked Jasper.
Not unless we let them take out the wolves, he thought silently, not wanting to upset Bella.
"No amount of mood control is going to make Irina feel better if she was really as attached
to Laurent as Tanya says. My abilities aren't powerful enough to have any noticeable effect
when the emotions are that strong." He tried to hide it, but he couldn't help but think of the
time right after I'd fled Forks, leaving Bella behind. He had tried to console me, make me
feel more at peace with my decision, but it was as if his powers were blocked by the
intensity with which I was longing for her.

"I wish there was something I could do, believe me," he said, glancing toward the door.
Alice was downstairs, singing to herself as she continued the party setup. He paused to
listen for a moment, and I heard true fear in his mind. I looked to Bella, who was watching
him with sadness in her eyes. Even without hearing his thoughts, she understood what he
was thinking. Any one of us could falter and lose everything in an instant.

When Jasper and I could think of no other choices than to fight alone, I turned to Carlisle.
He was admittedly more positive than Jasper had been, though he too was frantically
searching for options we might have missed. We discussed our plan of attack, and I wished
Jasper had come downstairs with us, to keep Bella's fear from escalating. She listened
quietly, and I tried not to see the panic on her face. Her expression grew calculating as we
continued, like she was working out strategies the way we were. I hoped she wasn't still
expecting a quick change in order to come fight beside us. I thought we'd made it clear that
adding another newborn to the mix wouldn't solve anything.

Living in an endless existence, the concept of time had nearly lost its meaning, which was
why I was surprised to find myself pacing, waiting for guests to arrive. I suppose I was
simply anxious for some excuse to forget about newborns, and strategies, and Bella being
in danger yet again because of me. I actually breathed a sigh of relief when the first car
pulled up, though my peaceful moment didn't last long. I listened to Mike's first appraisal of
our home. Though not the most intuitive person at times, he seemed too observant for my
liking.
A mansion in the middle of the forest? Weird, even for the Cullens. He met my eye for a
split second before turning away nervously. Always figured they were freaks, but what are
they hiding out here?

Bella played her part better than I could have imagined, and while I was miserable at the
thought of her only pretending to enjoy her graduation night, a part of me couldn't help but
feel proud of her. She welcomed all of her friends in, smiling and attempting to make them
feel comfortable, as they all took in the house.

One by one, people stepped through the door, wide-eyed and curious, and I listened with
amusement at the different reactions. Thankfully, Mike was the only one who associated
"large mansion" with "something to hide," though several of Bella's classmates did wonder
how a family with such an obvious sum of money ended up in a place like Forks.

Don't know why Dr. Cullen didn't just home-school them all. Not like they get along with
anyone anyway.

Some place to call a home away from home. No wonder Bella puts up with Edward's
crazy...

Must be worth more than the whole town put together...

Wow. Just wow.

Although I couldn't bring myself to leave Bella's side, I tried my best to stay in the
background. I let her lead the conversations. After all, for many of her friends, this would
likely be her only good-bye. Occasionally, Mike or Tyler or some other insipid boy would
let their mind wander to the what-ifs of post-graduation life.

Are they going to college together? Maybe the fascination will wear off and she'll come to
her senses.

Can't last forever. I mean, look at him clinging to her. That's got to get old eventually,
right?
I felt my grip around Bella's waist tighten instinctively, and was thrilled when I felt her sink
further into my arms. I was counting on this lasting forever, and I hoped that when forever
became more than just a concept to her, she would still be happy to have my arms around
her forever.

I was just settling into the pace of the evening, Bella making small talk with her friends,
circulating as if she were born to be the hostess and center of attention. She almost had
even me convinced that there was nothing else going on in our lives besides this party. For
a moment, there was no one after us, this wasn't Bella's farewell to her human life. We were
just a couple in love, celebrating the end of one chapter and the beginning of the next.

Then, everything froze.

The vision Alice had was so clear, I could see it as if it were my own. As soon as I saw the
hoard of newborns heading toward Forks, I felt my fists begin to clench. Afraid I would
hurt Bella, I forced myself to loosen my grip on her. One at the front of the line was
holding Bella's shirt, a sadistic and very determined look in her blood-red eyes.

Edward... Alice thought, my name a whisper, even in her mind. She was scared, truly
frightened for the first time since this whole mess had started. Jasper was beside her now,
trying to calm her down, but all she could feel was the army's collective energy, their
driving ambition to reach the human they knew they were created to destroy.

She watched as they ran toward Forks – the place we'd called home for so many years,
filled with people we cared about, Bella's friends and family, who could all become
casualties. Victims... pawns in the way and easily knocked down as the battle began.

"Stay here," I whispered to Bella, trying to hide the fear in my voice. "I'll be right back."

I could hear her start after me, but there were friends all around and I'm sure she didn't want
them to think anything was wrong. Her facade of normalcy might buy me enough time to
talk to Alice without her there. It would be easier to get all the facts without having to
worry about scaring Bella.
Alice was standing just outside the kitchen, her eyes wide with a panic hopefully only I
noticed. It took every ounce of restraint I had to walk to her at a normal pace, but I forced a
smile onto my face and walked casually in case anyone was looking.

"They're coming," Alice whispered as soon as I was beside her. I tried to motion her into
the kitchen so we could speak more privately, but she was frozen in place.

"I know," I said softly, when she didn't move. I attempted to infuse some comfort into my
tone.

"I couldn't tell how many..." she said dismally. Her eyes were nearly blurred as she tried to
count the numbers she'd seen in her mind. Twenty. Maybe more.

"We knew this was what it was going to look like. This is what we've been waiting for you
to see. There's no need to panic."

Her eyes shot at me through the darkness. Who are you trying to convince – me or
yourself?

"All right, I'm worried. Of course I am. I don't want them anywhere near Forks, or Bella, or
anyone here for that matter. But it's good we've seen them coming. We can prepare and
take action."

"Did you see what the dark haired one in front was carrying?"

I'd seen and recognized Bella's missing shirt all too well. If there was any doubt in my mind
that Bella's theories had been correct, that single flash of red confirmed it all. "I saw it," I
growled, then took a deep breath and reminded myself how important it was to stay calm.
"We already knew what they were coming for. Again, no surprises. Just precisely what
we've been waiting for."

At that moment, Alice's eyes went blank again. She gasped, clutching the wall beside her as
she saw several of the vampires coming at the town from the other side. It suggested a level
of coordination and planning we hadn't thought them capable of. The newborns themselves
couldn't be, but it meant their creator had thought their plan of attack through far more than
we'd anticipated.

"I'll go get Carlisle," I said, disappearing before my last bit of composure was gone.

I was glad I'd made a quick escape, because seconds later, Bella was at Alice's side,
demanding an explanation. Alice, still frozen and trying desperately to search her visions
for anything that might give us some kind of advantage, didn't say a word. She stared at me,
and despite myself, I couldn't seem to break her gaze. Her eyes were pleading, silently
asking for answers I didn't have. When Bella turned to look for me, I retreated back into the
darkness.

I knocked on the door of Carlisle's study, and he opened it immediately. "Edward, what's
happening? Jasper was just up here trying to escape from all the heightened emotions for a
few minutes, then his eyes widened, and he disappeared."

"He felt Alice's fear. Probably mine as well."

"She saw something?"

"They're coming."

He inhaled sharply, a brief moment of panic flickering across his face before he returned to
his usual calm, pragmatic way of thinking.

"Was she able to see who was responsible for creating the army?"

"I don't think so. She did see that they were planning to surround the town, though. They
want to come in from both sides."

"So they're organized?"

"It would appear so."

Carlisle's expression was calculating as he thought through several options. The only one
that guaranteed no human casualties, however, was meeting them before they entered town.

I nodded in understanding before he'd said a word. "The further away the better," I agreed.

"How many?" he asked, unable to hide the sorrow he felt as he pictured destroying the
newborns who hadn't wanted this life to begin with.

"Too many," I admitted. "More than we want to face without help. Twenty, at least,
although it appeared there were less by the time they reached town than there were when
they were traveling."

"How is that possible?"

"They're destructive, Carlisle. It's very possible they're killing each other along the way.
Either that, or whoever created them is thinning out the herds, so to speak. It's a sick kind of
combat strategy. If one of them isn't proving to be useful, or is threatening the success of
the mission, they're disposed of. It wouldn't be the first time we've heard of it happening."

I hated to be so blunt, knowing how it pained him, but we all needed to be realistic about
what we were up against. These were creatures whose only purpose was to kill. If their
creator killed without mercy, they would know nothing else, and they would show no
mercy.

Both in agreement that we had to fight as far away from Forks as possible, we both fell
silent, trying to think of the location that gave us the greatest advantage. We knew the
forests well, and there were several places that offered a fair amount of camouflage, but if
the newborns were on a course for Forks, how could we steer them off their path? Even if
we chose the ideal location for the battle, how would we assure their arrival there?

"The wolves are here," Alice muttered, throwing the door open angrily and bringing us both
back to the present. She was scowling as stepped into the room. "Can somebodyplease get
them outside before they make the entire house smell like dog?"
"Whyare they here?" I asked, unable to hide my irritation. A visit from Jacob was the last
thing I needed right now.

"I don't know. Bella invited them, I guess. Well, Jacob, at least, though I didn't really think
she wanted anything to do with him after that stunt he pulled."

"When have Bella's wishes ever stopped Jacob from doing what he wanted?"

"I still don't understand why he's here. He didn't go to Forks High, he doesn't know anyone
but us, and he hates us. The last time he saw Bella, she punched him in the face. The kid
really doesn't know when to give up, does he?"

As much as I was enjoying listening to someone else complain about Jacob, I was only half
listening to Alice. My attention was focused on the conversation downstairs between Bella
and the mongrel. He was pressing her for information, and I had a feeling he was about to
cross the line.

"Now. Explain," he snapped. That was all it took. I raced out the door and down the stairs.

"Jacob, I don't know everything," she said nervously, her eyes looking around her. Looking
for me.

Is that wise? Alice asked, stopping me just before I raced into the crowd.

"Do I care?"

I don't really care what you do, but everyone keeps telling me we're still supposed to be
acting normal. You flying across the room in a blur and decapitating a werewolf in front of
all Bella's friends probably wouldn't be considered normal.

"He raised his voice to her, Alice."

I know. But there are people around. What exactly are you planning on doing?
A medley of things I'd like to do played through my mind, but of course, she was right.
There was nothing I could do, nothing really I should even say, with so many of Bella's
friends nearby. They were suspicious enough as it was.

Go back to Carlisle, keep working on a strategy. We need to figure out our plan of action,
quickly. Jasper and I will take care of Bella.

I'd been so focused on Bella, I hadn't even noticed Jasper was right beside me.

I'll mellow them out, he thought with a smirk. Whether they like it or not.

Reluctantly, I retreated up the stairs, just as Bella spotted Alice.

"Alice!" she breathed.

I don't like the way those filthy dogs are watching her, she thought, seething. This is our
house, Bella is a part of our family. What right do they think they have to even be here?

For my own sanity, I tried to ignore Alice's assessment of the pack, and returned to
Carlisle's study. "Now what's happened?" he asked, confused by my quick escape.

"Jacob was pressing Bella for information. I didn't like it."

"But you didn't stop him?"

"Alice didn't think it would be wise for me to step in quite yet."

He nodded. "Why are they here? I thought Jacob and Bella weren't on the best of terms."

"Technically, Jacob was invited. The fact that she no longer wants him here is something he
seems to be ignoring rather stubbornly. As for the others, I think they're friends of Bella's
from back when she was spending a lot of time in La Push. They probably thought it would
be interesting to be in vampire territory when there really wasn't anything we could do to
stop them. They know we would never make a scene."
Carlisle closed his eyes, and we both paused to listen for a moment.

"Hey, hey. This is a party, remember?" Bella was saying. She was trying to be playful, but
there was a definite edge to her voice.

"Always the peacekeeper," Carlisle remarked, smiling. There was a swell of pride and
affection in his voice. "She never ceases to amaze me. You've chosen your mate well,
Edward."

"Thank you. I only hope she still feels she's chosen well when she realizes what kind of life
she's bound herself to."

"I think she understands better than you give her credit for. We've all been very upfront
with her about what life will be like. I believe she's ready." He paused, and I could tell he
was struggling to keep his thoughts hidden."

"Carlisle?" I hedged.

"There's something I've been thinking about, given our current circumstances. I know you
won't like it, and probably won't agree to it, but I'd be remiss if I didn't at least ask. Now
that we know the newborns are on their way, and we know with certainty that they are
coming for Bella, I'd like you to consider..."

I didn't need to hear his thoughts to know what he was suggesting. "No," I said firmly.

"I don't mean for her to fight along side us – "

"No."

"Only that if she were changed she wouldn't be in nearly as much danger."

"No. I've already sworn to protect her. I will not have Bella making this choice because
she's frightened."

"She's already made her choice."

"It's out of the question."

Edward. Carlisle knew me well. He knew when I was putting up walls, when I was
stubbornly clinging to Bella's humanity even when she'd cast it aside. He paused until he
was certain he had my full attention again.

"I need you to think of the family for a moment. And remember, Bella's already made her
choice. The only thing that would change is the timing. I want you to consider that whoever
is responsible for this army, whoever is coming after Bella, is coming after a fragile, easily
destroyed human. If that were no longer the case, there's a very real chance we could stop
this fight from even happening."

"Do you still think it's a member of the Volturi?"

"I don't know. If it is, then certainly Bella being changed would end the conflict. Even if it's
not one of them, I think we can still safely assume that her not being human anymore would
change things."

"You're asking her to sacrifice – "

"No," he said, taking his turn at interrupting. "I'm asking nothing more of her than that
which she's made explicitly clear is what she wants."

I shut my eyes tightly, trying to calm the flare of frustration and anxiety. I was also trying
to silence the little voice inside my head telling me that Carlisle was right.

Why is this so difficult for you? I thought you'd already accepted her change as inevitable.

"It's not that," I said, not realizing what I was admitting until it was too late.

"You're still counting on her accepting your proposal and changing her yourself." It wasn't
a question, and I couldn't have denied it if it was. "You could still be the one to change
her."

"Carlisle – "
"I know this isn't how you wanted it. But things have changed. There's more to consider
now, more of us involved than just the two of you."

"Wait," I said, suddenly racing out the door, leaving Carlisle baffled and alone yet again.

"Everything just disappeared, of course," Alice was saying. "That's inconvenient, but, all
things considered, I'll take it."

"We'll have to coordinate," Jacob told her. "It won't be easy for us. Still, this is our job
more than yours."

"Amazing," I whispered as Carlisle stepped up beside me.

"What is it?"

"It's the wolves. They want to help."

Carlisle's eyes widened in understanding. "They want to fight with us?"

"It appears so."

In all my years, I never would have imagined...

Both of us stunned into silence, we listened as Alice and Jacob had the first civil
conversation either one of us had ever heard. Bella, on the other hand, was less than
thrilled.

"You are staying out of this!" she shrieked. "Alice – tell them no! They'll get killed."

The wolves laughed.

"Well, that's impolite," Carlisle muttered.

"I'm afraid you'll have to get used to that. I have to admit, though, the wolves' lack of tact
and understanding of social conventions is a small price to pay. I can't believe they're
willing to fight alongside their enemies."
"Desperate times often bring out the best in even the most unruly creatures. Their land and
their people would be threatened as well, should we be unsuccessful in stopping this army.
They'll fight with their enemies to conquer an even bigger threat."

"No!" Bella shouted, nearly in tears. Several heads turned toward her, noticing her distress
for the first time.

"Go to her, Edward. She's no longer aware of her surroundings. Remind her that until the
last guest leaves, we are to keep up appearances."

I headed downstairs, forcing myself to keep a human pace, and fixed a smile on my face.

Well, look who decided to join the party, Jacob thought, glowering at me. Ready for the
fight, bloodsucker? I can't believe you were going to leave us out. This is our one chance to
finally treat at least some vampires the way they're supposed to be treated.

Doing my best to keep the smile on my face, I wrapped my arms around Bella's waist and
kissed the top of her head gently. I had to remember that, as difficult as it might be joining
forces with Jacob, we were both fighting to protect Bella. If it meant she was safe – and
could remain human until she was completely ready – I could endure anything.
Instruction – EPOV

It's amazing how quickly everything can change. Before the party, my family and I had
been anxiously waiting for Alice's vision. When she'd finally seen the newborns
approaching, we'd all found ourselves in a panic. Nervous, uncertain, and wondering
whether we would all make it through the battle alive. Then, of course, there was Bella,
who'd somehow managed to stay relatively calm throughout the evening. That is, until the
wolves decided to join in the fight.

Now, my family and I were all feeling the relief of knowing we weren't facing the army
alone. For the first time since realizing what we were up against, we felt evenly matched,
perhaps even having the upper hand. Bella, however, was inconsolable. I forced myself not
to dwell on that fact. I was having a difficult enough time as it was, trying not to tear Jacob
limb from limb.

Bella begged and pleaded with them to stay out of the fight, and Jacob was enjoying every
minute of it. "Wait, Jake!" she shouted as the pack turned to leave. "Please! Don't do this!"

I sighed. My arm was around Bella's waist, my fingers running lightly through her hair. She
hadn't even acknowledged my presence.

"Don't be ridiculous, Bells," Jacob told her, still laughing at her fears. "You're giving me a
much better gift than the one I gave you."

"No!" she yelled again, her eyes brimming with tears.

And you, he added, glancing at me for a split second before returning his eyes to Bella.
Thought you were going to be the hero again, right? No wonder you didn't tell us about
these new bloodsuckers. You wanted the glory all to yourself.

A low snarl, hopefully too quiet for Bella to hear, ripped through my throat. All it did was
make him smile even wider.
Now, now. Don't forget your manners. This is still a party, after all.

My eyes widened and I felt Jasper at my side.

Relax, Edward. He's not worth it.

I took a deep breath and tried to focus on the waves of calm he was sending directly to me.

Hmmm, Jacob thought, his eyes still fixed on Bella. Who do you think she's going to worry
about more? Suppose it's not really even a question. She was all ready to watch you run off
and fight, but look at her now, begging me to stay.

I was glad, in that moment, that Bella wasn't paying me any attention, because all of my
pretenses fell away. I glared at him, eyes full of anger and fire. I hated that I was unsure
whether I was more furious at Jacob for his taunting, or at myself for wondering if what he
was saying was true.

This is going to be some fight, he added with a smirk. Then he ran off to join the rest of his
mangy companions, and I was left to console Bella. My Bella. Who seemed far more
worried about his safety than I was prepared for. Wasn't she ready to let me kill him less
than an hour ago?

"Bella, my love," I whispered, nuzzling into her hair. "I know you're upset, but people are
starting to notice the commotion."

She shut her eyes tightly, taking in three deep, steady breaths. "You're right," she finally
sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I'm sorry you're unhappy. I only wish there was something I could do to
fix it."

"Tell them not to fight," she said, burying her head in my shoulder. I gritted my teeth,
wishing there was some way to silence the jealousy I felt at her concern for that dog. Then,
like always, she found a way to give me exactly what I needed. "Don't you fight either," she
added. "None of you fight. Let's just leave."

All of my loathsome feelings of anger and jealousy faded away, and I actually caught
myself laughing. "Now, why didn't I think of that?" I teased.

"Don't joke," she snapped, and despite myself, I laughed again at her indignation.

"I'm sorry. That was very insensitive of me. I just wish it was that simple. If running away
would do us any good, I would whisk you away the moment this ridiculous party is over."

"Who says you have to wait til the party's over?" she asked, a hint of a smile tugging at her
lips.

I pulled her tightly into my arms. "No one is going to get hurt, Bella. We're going to end
this war before it begins, now that we have so much help. Before, it was – " I paused, not
wanting to upset her, but needing her to understand the necessity of us accepting the
wolves' help, "uncertain. The only downside to their being involved is that it means Alice's
sight is gone. Really, though, there was so much she couldn't see anyway, because of the
nature of newborns, we aren't losing anything. We have only to benefit from this alliance,
as unconventional as it might be."

Her brow pulled together as if she were concentrating very hard on what I'd said, weighing
the pros and cons. Eventually, she must have come to some sort of acceptance, though I
doubted she would ever be as happy about the decision as the rest of us were.

"No one is going to get hurt?" she repeated.

"It'll be over so fast, you won't have to time to worry about any of us."

Maybe it was selfish, or foolish, or perhaps a bit of both, but I was hoping she would argue
with me. A very juvenile side of me wanted to hear her say, "Of course I'm going to worry
about you!" Instead, she simply rolled her eyes at me, and rejoined the party.
As she drifted back into the crowd, I followed after her closely, surprised by how quickly
the charade resumed. If I didn't know her better, I would have thought she loved playing the
hostess. Alice was thrilled that the party lasted for several more hours, though I would have
preferred to have Bella to myself for awhile before meeting with the wolves. I was thrilled
to have their help, but it was still going to be a difficult night.

When the last of Bella's friends had finally left, we all gathered around the door. Every
thought was now focused on our upcoming training session - every mind except Alice's. I
wasn't surprised to hear her basking in post-party bliss.

"Well, all things considered, I think that went well," she said. "Everyone had fun, I could
tell they were all positively entranced by the décor." As I listened to her chatter on about
the success of the party, as cheerful as ever, I realized that she wasn't the only one filled
with euphoria. Every member of my family was smiling.

It was a welcome relief, after the weeks we'd spent worrying. Knowing we were no longer
fighting alone had brightened everyone's spirits. Still, as the minutes ticked by, I began to
feel the weight of evening heavy on my shoulders. The thought of having the wolves
observe our training session had me feeling quite unsettled. The rest of my family didn't
seem to mind the idea, but they also weren't the ones who would have to play the role of
translator. While Jacob was beside himself with excitement, I'd heard the distrust in his
friends' minds. There was no way they were joining us tonight in their human forms.

As Alice continued praising her party, the rest of us remained quiet, thinking about the
upcoming events. Eventually, Emmett broke the silence, making Bella jump beside me.

"All right. The humans are gone, present company excluded," he added, grinning at Bella.
"Time to get the real party started!"

We all breathed a collective sigh, not quite as enthused as Emmett seemed to be, though I
was relieved the tension seemed to lift.

"Emmett is right," Carlisle said, smiling. He was genuinely calm for the first time in weeks.
"We should begin our preparations."
"What's to prepare?" Emmett asked. "Jasper knows how to kill these new guys. He'll teach
us everything he knows, and those idiot dogs are gonna sit there and watch, pretending they
aren't scared to death of us. Like I said, sounds like a party to me."

"I wish you wouldn't act like this is all some big game," Bella said, and everyone turned to
stare at her. She blushed, her eyes widening like she was surprised she'd said the words out
loud. "I'm sorry," she added in a whisper. "I just don't know why you're making jokes when
people could really get hurt."

People...

I smiled as every mind in the room thought the word at the same time. My Bella, still
thinking of all her monsters as nothing more than regular people.

"Bella," Carlisle said gently. "I assure you we will all be very well prepared. This alliance
has made us strong, and our training is merely a precaution. It's important to gain the
greatest possible advantage, though I feel certain that with our numbers the way they now
stand, we could go into this fight tonight without any preparations at all, and still be
victorious."

"I wish I was as confident as you."

Have you considered letting her accompany us tonight? Carlisle asked me, and I shook my
head infinitesimally. It might actually be good for her. She should see why our tactics, and
our powers, give us such an advantage.

"Silly Bella," Alice said, thankfully interrupting Carlisle's and my silent conversation. "I
know I can't see past those stupid hairball friends of yours, but there's really nothing to
worry about." She shot Jasper a meaningful look, and he turned to Bella, concentrating
every ounce of calm he could muster in her direction. I saw her posture relax for a moment,
before her mind took over again.
"I just don't understand why nobody seems at all worried anymore. You're really putting
that much faith in the wolves? I thought you guys were mortal enemies. Now you want to
fight with them?"

"Oh, come on, Bella," Emmett laughed. "Why should you be the only one getting to fight
with werewolves? It's our turn now!"

She scowled at him, and I had to stop myself from laughing.

"Don't you worry about a thing, dear," Esme said, kissing her forehead in a very motherly
gesture that made my heart soar. I loved to see how deeply Esme cared for Bella.
"Everything will be perfectly fine, and this mess will all be over before you know it." Then,
we can finally get back to the happy task of welcoming you officially into the family, she
added, with an almost imperceptible wink in my direction.

"Edward," Carlisle said. "We don't have much time, and you need to get Bella home. We
don't want Charlie worrying about her."

Alice smiled angelically, her thoughts drifting conveniently back to the party. She was
keeping something from me, and at that moment, I didn't have time to worry about what it
was.

"Carlisle's right," I said. "It's late, and I'm sure Bella is exhausted." Bella let out what
sounded like an aggravated sigh, and her posture tensed. I didn't think my comment had
been insulting, but she looked like she was upset.

As we walked out the door, my family continued to offer her reassurances that everything
would go smoothly, but Bella's anxiety never dissipated. She was silent when I opened the
car door for her, and didn't give me even the smallest of smiles when I reached out to her in
the car. I stroked the back of her hand soothingly, trying to coax something out of her. It
was once again driving me mad that I couldn't hear where her thoughts had taken her. Was
her worried mind thinking of me, my family – Jacob?

"That had to be the longest party in the history of the world," she finally mumbled.
"It's over now," I said softly, my fingers now tracing up her arm. I hoped the evening had
worn her out enough to help her get a restful night's sleep, even without me there to hum
her lullaby. I didn't know how long we would be out tonight, but it seemed safe to assume I
wouldn't be back before dawn. This would be the first night we'd spent apart in a very long
time.

"You're taking me with you tonight," she finally said, her voice low, trying to find her
confidence.

"Bella, you're worn out." I wasn't surprised she would suggest coming with us, but I also
didn't expect her to push the issue very far. Her eyes were half closed.

"You think I could sleep?"

My lips pressed together in a tight line. Of course she could sleep, if she'd let herself relax
for a moment. Instead, she was trying to find reasons to join the very unconventional
assembly of vampires and werewolves, putting herself right in the middle of harm's way,
should tempers escalate. I didn't want her there, in the midst of the unknown. I hoped things
would remain peaceful, but it was quite possible the wolves would get angry when they saw
first-hand what we were capable of. Some of them might attack out of frustration or
instinct.

I usually found her stubbornness endearing, but I really didn't have time to rationalize with
her. Which meant she was probably going to get her way.

"This is an experiment," I explained. "I'm not sure if it will be possible for us all to...
cooperate. I don't want you in the middle of that." The moment I'd said it, I realized my
mistake. I was, once again, trying to look out for her safety – something she placed
virtually no value on – but all I did was make her more fearful that one of us would get
hurt.

"If you won't take me, then I'll call Jacob." Her voice was flat, her face expressionless,
though she must have known what her words would do to me. My grip tightened on the
wheel as I realized I was powerless. Jacob would give her whatever she asked for, take her
anywhere she wanted to go, no matter how dangerous. It wasn't that I thought he didn't care
about her, but rather that he was arrogant enough to believe nothing could harm her while
he was around.

I pulled into Bella's driveway without saying a word. We both knew she'd won.

"See you upstairs," she said, her eyes not quite meeting mine.

I watched until she was inside, then went to wait for her upstairs. I couldn't help but laugh,
listening to her drag Charlie to bed. Then, she moved quickly onto her nightly routine. It
always amazed me how those brief moments without her, when I knew she was in the room
right next to me, dragged on, and how when she finally joined me in her room, everything
in my world felt right again.

She always looked at me with the oddest mixture of relief and elation, like she still couldn't
believe I was sitting in her rocking chair waiting for her, though I'd been here every night
since we'd returned home from Italy. I opened my arms, hoping she would join me. She
was tired enough that I might be able to rock her to sleep.

"Come here," she said, smiling and pulling me toward the bed instead. Her hands pressed
against my chest, and before I knew it, she was curled up in my arms, sighing. I wrapped
her quilt around her to warm her up, wishing she would simply drift off to sleep. The
moment her breathing started to slow, though, I felt her tense again. I hated that she was
fighting so hard to stay awake when there was nothing to be accomplished by her coming
with us. She was looking for reassurance that no one was in any danger, but watching us
train wouldn't truly give her that. She would just have to trust us.

"Please relax," I said softly, stroking her hair.

"Sure."

"This is going to work, Bella. I can feel it."

I could feel the frustration and doubt emanating from her, and I struggled for words that
could help put her mind at ease.

"Listen to me, Bella," I pleaded. "This is going to be easy. The newborns will be
completely taken by surprise. They'll have no more idea that werewolves even exist than
you did. I've seen how they act in a group, the way Jasper remembers. I truly believe that
the wolves' hunting techniques will work flawlessly against them. And with them divided
and confused, there won't be enough for the rest of us to do. Someone may have to sit out."

"Piece of cake," she muttered sarcastically.

"Shhh," I breathed, my fingers brushing against her cheek, wishing I could take her fears
away. "You'll see. Don't worry now."

I hummed her lullaby, but her posture told me she was determined not to fall asleep. Her
head was pressed to my chest, but there was too much tension in her shoulders. I really was
fighting a losing battle. Determined to get to the field before the wolves, and knowing we
were running out of time, I gently pushed Bella up until she was sitting beside me.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay and sleep?" I asked uselessly. When she scowled at
me, I sighed, defeated, and carried her out the window. With the world rushing by us as we
ran, it was easy to forget that we were running toward something so important. I was so
focused on the way Bella's arms wrapped around me, how she was so much more at ease
than she used to be, flying through the forest with me, I nearly forgot my worries from
earlier.

When we reached the clearing, I heard Emmett laughing as Jasper and Alice chased each
other around. Alice looked like a pouncing kitten, and, although I knew Jasper was fast
enough to outrun her, it was clear he was having more fun being caught. I smiled at Bella as
I set her down, happy for the first time that she was with us. Maybe the lighthearted
atmosphere was all she would need to stop worrying about everything. She didn't smile
back at me, and I noticed her eyes weren't focused on anything. She was lost in thought,
and of course, I was left completely baffled.
"You know what I think?" she asked. I couldn't stop a laugh from escaping.

"No," I teased. "What do you think?" I expected her to laugh with me, but she continued
almost tonelessly, like she was having trouble wrapping her own mind around whatever she
was thinking.

"I think it's all connected. Not just the two, but all three."

"You've lost me."

"Three bad things have happened since you came back. The newborns in Seattle. The
stranger in my room. And – first of all – Victoria came to look for me."

My fists clenched at hearing Victoria's name. It bothered me, how confident Bella was that
it had been her. I hadn't been very good at tracking Victoria, but the idea that she had been
right here, under all our noses, without us knowing was horrifying to me.

"Why do you think so?" I asked.

"Because I agree with Jasper – the Volturi love their rules. They would probably do a better
job anyway. Remember when you were tracking Victoria last year?"

"Yes." I couldn't keep the pain out of my expression. Somehow, Bella managed to talk
about my time away without so much as flinching. Every time I thought about it, it caused
me physical pain. "I wasn't very good at it," I admitted, hoping she wouldn't press the
subject any further. There had been times I was tracking her where I found myself hoping
she would find me first, and put me out of my misery.

"Alice said you were in Texas. Did you follow her there?"

"Yes. Hmm..." Bella was putting pieces together in ways my family and I hadn't even
considered. Had Victoria been inspired by the gruesome history in Texas and decided to try
her hand at army-making? It was sick and terrible to consider, but I had a feeling we'd
never really gotten a true idea of what Victoria was capable of.
"See," Bella continued, her voice strangely excited as she realized she might be onto
something, "she could have gotten the idea there. But she doesn't know what she's doing, so
the newborns are all out of control."

It still didn't explain how one of them was able to get into Bella's room without Alice
seeing. "Only Aro knows exactly how Alice's visions work."

"Aro would know best, but wouldn't Tanya and Irina and the rest of your friends in Denali
know enough? Laurent lived with them for so long. And if he was still friendly enough with
Victoria to be doing favors for her, why wouldn't he also tell her everything he knew?"

Anxiety was starting to take over my senses as I contemplated her being in Bella's room,
but I quickly reminded myself that, no matter how horrid a tracker I was, I would have
known if she'd been there. "It wasn't Victoria in your room," I promised her.

"She can't make new friends? Think about it, Edward. If it is Victoria doing this in Seattle,
she's made a lot of new friends. She's created them."

I didn't want her to be right. I didn't want to think Victoria had been that close, that if she'd
wanted to kill Bella that night, she could have sent someone to do it without any of us
knowing. My brothers often teased me about my unwillingness to leave Bella's side for
even a short time. This was why. Every moment of every day, I was completely, painfully,
aware of how easily I could lose her.

Emmett and Jasper had never had to worry about losing Rose or Alice. The concept of
eternity with their perfect partners was a given - an irrefutable fact. Going into this fight,
especially before we'd gained the help of the wolves, was probably the first time either of
them had had to consider what their existence would be like if they were forced to continue
it alone. It was a fear I lived with constantly.

"Hmm. It's possible," I finally said when I noticed Bella staring up at me expectantly. "I
still think the Volturi are most likely... But your theory – there's something there. Victoria's
personality. Your theory suits her personality perfectly."
It made sense that she would use others to get what she wants. Anything to keep herself out
of harm's way. It was something I'd understood about her a long time ago, back when she'd
sent Laurent to Forks, supposedly to check whether or not Bella was still protected. She
must have known that if he'd found her, he would kill her. Her blood, though not as potent
to others as it was to me, still would have been too much for him to resist. It was clear she
wanted results without having to put herself in any danger, though before Bella's theory, I
hadn't thought even Victoria would go to such extreme lengths as to create an army to do
her dirty work.

"She's shown a remarkable gift for self-preservation from the start," I said, "maybe it's a
talent of hers. In any case, this plot would put her in no danger at all from us, if she sits
safely behind and lets the newborns wreak their havoc here. And maybe little danger from
the Volturi, either. Perhaps she's counting on us to win, in the end, though certainly not
without heavy casualties of our own. But no survivors from her little army to bear witness
against her. In fact, if there were survivors, I'd bet she's be planning to destroy them
herself... Hmm."

The only mystery that remained, if the pieces really did connect the way they were
appearing to, was who had been in Bella's room. "Still, she'd have to have at least one
friend who was a bit more mature. No fresh-made newborn left your father alive..." I
stopped myself when I heard the way Bella's breath caught, angry at myself for upsetting
her. I smiled, quickly changing the subject.

"Definitely possible. Regardless, we've got to be prepared for anything until we know for
sure." I grinned, quite proud of Bella, even if I didn't like the answer she's come up with.
"You're very perceptive today. It's impressive."

"Maybe I'm just reacting to this place," she said, suddenly second guessing herself. She
looked around warily, and when she continued, her voice was shaking. "It makes me feel
like she's close by... like she sees me now."

Every muscle in my body tensed at the idea. "She'll never touch you, Bella," I promised,
instinctively searching the shadows for signs of any uninvited guests. It was unsettling,
having to question whether we were alone. There was a time when I thought our family was
almost impenetrable. Between Alice seeing the moment anyone decided to come near us,
and me hearing them when they were close enough to worry about, it seemed we were
invincible. Even Jasper tasting a change in the atmosphere was helpful for keeping out
those who wanted to harm us. Not this time, though. Whoever was in Bella's room had
found a way around all of us, and for that, I would have given anything to end this
nightmare here and now.

"Yet, what I wouldn't give to have her that close," I breathed, more to myself than Bella.
"Victoria, and anyone else who's ever thought of hurting you. To have the chance to end
this myself. To finish it with my own hands this time."

I felt Bella's grip tighten, her fingers locking with mine, and I pulled her close as we closed
the small gap between us and my family. Jasper's playfulness had vanished and was now
getting ready, running drills in his head like he was a boot camp instructor. Esme and
Carlisle were standing together, whispering reassurances and words of love to each other.
Emmett was running laps around the field while Rosalie rolled her eyes and sighed. Alice
was standing anxiously on her own, fidgeting, her eyes unfocused but searching.

Well, at least we know they're not bailing on us, she was thinking sourly. Can't see
anything. Completely frustrating. Stupid wolves are probably dragging their tails here
right about now. Can't believe we agreed to this.

"Is something wrong with Alice?" Bella asked. Yes, definitely perceptive tonight, I thought,
laughing quietly.

"The werewolves are on their way, so she can't see anything that will happen now. It makes
her uncomfortable to be blind."

Like you never complain about not being able to hear Bella? Just imagine if everyone
suddenly went silent on you. Alice looked up, meeting my eyes, and stuck her tongue out at
me. If I'd thought she was genuinely upset, I would have felt more sorry for her, but even
though she was frustrated, I knew how grateful she was that we weren't fighting alone.
"Hey, Edward," Emmett said, casting a sideways glance at Bella. There's just no leaving
her behind, is there? So tell me, how does it feel having Bella make all your decisions for
you? Emmett absolutely loved taunting me when there was nothing I could say or do say
about it. "Hey, Bella," he grinned. "Is he going to let you practice, too?"

"Please, Emmett, don't give her any ideas."

Carlisle appeared beside us looking relaxed, but I could hear a bit of concern playing
around in his mind. He trusted the wolves, more so than the rest of us, but it was still hard
for him to invite a group of unstable creatures to interact with his family – especially when
the focus of our evening was fighting.

"When will our guests arrive?" he asked, a warm smile locked firmly on his face.

I closed my eyes and tried to focus. Listening to the wolves was like hearing an echo. One
mind spoke, then the words resonated through the rest of the pack. It was a harmony of
voices, yet each had their own distinct timbre. It was fascinating, and I was sure it was also
a very useful form of communication. For me, though, it was positively deafening. As
much as I disliked Jacob and didn't particularly enjoy hearing him or his juvenile
complaints, I was the most familiar with his voice, and concentrating on him helped me to
block the others out.

Those bloodsuckers have no idea what we're capable of. We don't need training to kill a
group of stinking vampires. We were made for this!

I sighed. Jacob's arrogance knew no limits. "A minute and a half," I estimated. The closer
they got, their voices grew even louder and more difficult to distinguish. It was going to be
a long night. "But I'm going to have to translate," I added. "They don't trust us enough to
use their human forms."

I'd suspected as much. Is Bella comfortable being here with them in their true forms? I
shrugged my shoulders once and tried not to look surprised when he referred to their wolf
bodies as their "true forms." It was interesting that Carlisle regarded them as wolves more
than humans. Maybe that was part of his acceptance of them. When they were changed, he
saw their true nature, the time when they were the most themselves, and considered their
human lives the act they were forced to put on.

"This is hard for them," Carlisle continued, his voice gentle and compassionate. "I'm
grateful they're coming at all."

"They're coming as wolves?" Bella asked, her eyes wide.

I nodded slowly, noting the way her breathing sped up slightly. Carlisle smiled. I guess that
answers my question. For all of Bella's time hanging out with the wolves, I supposed she
really hadn't spent much time with them when they weren't human. It made sense she
would be nervous being around all of them at once.

The pack had almost arrived, and it was getting very difficult to ignore them. Their
unspoken conversations had grown into an almost constant chatter that was enough to make
anyone crazy. In a strange way, I found myself empathizing with them. I knew all too well
how unpleasant it could be, not being able to silence the voices in your head.

I couldn't deny that the push and pull dynamic of their minds was intriguing, though. Their
thoughts were shared, and there was definitely a collective spirit - a clear camaraderie - yet
they were all still very much their own entities. Some of them remained mostly silent, while
others were slightly more opinionated. I wondered if the distinction had anything to do with
how long they'd been a part of the pack.

Still can't believe we're helping them – whose bright idea was this again? – aw, guys,
where's your fighting spirit – we finally get to rip some vampires apart – why are we
watching them train? – how hard do they think this army is to kill? – don't they know this is
why we exist!

I took a deep breath in, struggling, concentrating, desperate to pick out each individual
voice. At the very least, I needed to know Sam's, since we would be leading the pack, and
would likely be the only voice I was meant to translate. The others were, to the rest of my
family, silent observers.
Do they all have powers, or just the mind-reader and the fortune-teller? – guys, this is
messed up, what are we doing joining them in a training session? – Quil's right, we were
made for this – Jacob, this must be driving you nuts – how can you stand to watch her with
him like that?

Just like that, I knew they were close enough to see us. Three wolves stepped out of the
shadows. They were staring at Bella, and even in their wolf forms, I could see the
confusion – the utter revulsion – in their eyes.

She doesn't even care, does she? – totally disgusting – can't she smell that?

I rolled my eyes. Then, amid the stream of insults that followed, I heard something that
caught me by surprise. Their numbers were greater than they'd previously wanted to admit.

Are you sure about this? – do we really want them knowing how many have changed? –
this is our best kept secret, man – well, what do you expect, some of us not to fight? – no
way am I staying out of this – there's no point in holding back, they'll know soon enough.

"Prepare yourselves – they've been holding out on us," I said, nearly grinning. I was starting
to be able to distinguish their voices from one another, and if my count was correct, there
were at least eight wolves. The fight would be over before the newborns realized it had
started.

"What do you mean?" Alice asked, irritated that I knew something before she did.

"Shh," I said, needing every bit of focus as the wolves stepped into view.

The sight of the wolves – all ten of them – surprised everyone. Jasper, Emmett, even
Carlisle, who hadn't expressed one moment of nervousness until that moment, all suddenly
had the exact same thought.

Edward, guard Bella.

Hearing their trepidation made me instinctively want to stand beside them, but with Bella
clutching my hand beside me, I knew without a doubt where I belonged.

"Damn," Emmett breathed, eyes wide as he truly took it all in. "Did you ever see anything
like it?"

Are we sure this is safe? Esme thought. She glanced quickly around the circle at her
children, her eyes finally resting on Rosalie. Rose, seeing Esme's fear, tried her best to
smile reassuringly.

"What is it?" Bella asked, squinting into the darkness. "I can't see."

"The pack has grown."

I wanted to gauge Bella's reaction, but the pack was muttering amongst themselves again,
and I was once again struggling to hear Sam's voice.

So what now? – this is such a waste of time – would you guys please chill, this is cool –
like, partying with the enemy, cool? – Jake, check it out, your girlfriend's holding onto that
leech pretty tight – shut up, Leah!

"Fascinating," I whispered, unable to control my surprise. I guess I'd always assumed it was
only the males who carried the gene. The fact that there was a female among them was
something I never could have foreseen.

You shut up, Jake. You know you're totally jealous.

Look who's talking about jealousy! Thinking about Sam much?

Shut UP!

Leah's voice was almost as raking as Jacob's, and it was clear I was going to be hearing
more out of both of them than I cared to.
I didn't completely understand what happened next, but something in Leah's tone changed.
Although I still didn't fully understand the inner workings of the pack mind, somehow I
knew the next thing I heard was something she was trying to hide from the rest of the
wolves. Of course there was no way for her to truly hide her thoughts, but what she was
thinking was now more like a flash of images rather than words, and she was moving
through them so quickly, I was only able to catch glimpses.

There was Sam, and I could feel, rather than hear her love for him. I could tell she'd been
his, sometime long ago, but his heart belonged to someone else now. The girl Leah saw was
someone I'd caught glimpses of in Sam's mind, but it was only through Leah that I had a
name to put with the face.

Emily.

Leave it alone, Leah, just for this one night, we've got work to do. Jacob's voice startled me,
and I realized I'd been listening with rapt attention to the strange love story playing through
Leah's mind. She'd lost Sam, and it haunted her.

You honestly think I can control it, you idiot? she spat back at him. I'd love to shut it off,
really. Hmm... maybe if I was spending my time thinking about something a little more
interesting. Like Embry's little conundrum.

Her voice was almost smug now, like she was thrilled to be bringing up something that was
clearly taboo.

Now's not the time, Leah. It's none of your business anyway.

Well it's somebody's business.

Leah's thoughts changed back to her previous tone. I was once again seeing flashes, and
then hearing memories as well. Apparently, there was some question as to which member
of the tribe had fathered Embry, and it didn't take me long to realize that the issue had been
causing quite a bit of drama throughout the pack. Jacob and Leah's argument was quickly
joined by a chorus of voices.
Is anyone ever going to learn to mind their own business around here? - you say that like
it's even possible - just because we all know about something, doesn't mean we need to
discuss it all the time - oh come on, there hasn't been a scandal this big since Sam
imprinted on Emily

Enough! Not another word.

In an instant, every voice disappeared. It startled me how quickly Sam's order was obeyed.
I knew as the Alpha, his word was final, but I hadn't expected the complete and total
silence. I guess that was one advantage to having their thoughts joined.

Now that Sam's was the only voice I could hear, he was even clearer than before. He'd
silenced the pack out of frustration, but there was another emotion there, hiding just under
the surface. His mind drifted to his love - his Emily - and I was suddenly seeing her through
his eyes. The way he saw her, the complete and pure adoration, made me feel voyeuristic in
a way I never had before. She belonged to him so completely, it felt wrong that I should
even be allowed to see her through the medium of his mind. I'd heard the wolves discuss
imprinting before, but it wasn't until that moment that I understood it.

Edward, I'm counting on you to tell me if any of them so much as thinks of attacking one of
us.

My mind struggled to focus on Carlisle's voice. I'd found myself distracted, lost in the
minds of the wolves for the second time. I felt instantly guilty at my inability to concentrate
on the matter at hand. Carlisle was looking to me to foresee any problems that might arise,
though unless Sam lifted his gag order, I was going to be just as blind as Alice.

"Welcome," Carlisle said to Sam, outwardly showing nothing but confidence.

Thank you, Sam thought, his deep eyes staring meaningfully into mine. I repeated his words
aloud, trying to keep my voice steady as the eyes of the pack, and my family, looked on. As
I spoke Sam's words, I heard him command his pack once more. I believe it's important for
you all be able to communicate with each other during this exercise, but if there is even one
more moment of argument, I will silence you all for the remainder of the evening. We are
here to learn. Is that understood?

Yes. One voice. One mind. It was comforting, yet at the same time confusing. I'd never
experienced anything like it. The voices I was used to hearing were incessantly self-
indulgent. Every human for himself. The pack mentality, as they answered their Alpha's
orders, was a unity I never thought I would hear.

We will watch and listen, but no more, Sam continued. Now confident in my ability to
translate, he was looking straight at Carlisle. That is the most we can ask of our self-
control.

"That is more than enough," Carlisle said. "My son Jasper has experience in this area. He
will teach us how they fight, how they are to be defeated. I'm sure you can apply this to
your own hunting style."

They are different from you? It was difficult to keep my voice calm, repeating such an
offensive statement, but I could hear that there was no malice in Sam's voice. He was
merely trying to understand the nature of the creatures he was sending his pack to fight.

Carlisle nodded. "They are all very new – only months old to this life. Children, in a way.
They will have no skill or strategy, only brute strength." There was a murmur through the
minds of the wolves, far too many thoughts at once for me to pick anything specific out.
There was some apprehension at this new information, though their collective voice still
sounded mostly excited. "Tonight their numbers stand at twenty," Carlisle continued. "Ten
for us, ten for you – it shouldn't be difficult. The numbers may go down. The new ones
fight amongst themselves."

Killing each other off? – those stupid vamps are doing our job for us – excellent! – aw,
we're not gonna get to have any fun at all.

Quiet, please. Sam's voice didn't have the same commanding tone as it had before. Perhaps
a suggestion more than an order. Still, the pack settled back down and I was able to focus
on Sam again.
We are willing to take more than our share, if necessary. I fought back the growl that
threatened to follow. The rumblings of enthusiastic agreement seemed to suggest the
wolves considered themselves stronger fighters than us.

Carlisle must have noticed the edge in my voice. Calm, Edward. He meant no offense.
They're only being helpful.

If only Carlisle could hear what I was hearing...

Do you know when and how they'll arrive?

"They'll come across the mountains in four days, in the late morning. As they approach,
Alice will help us intercept their path."

Thank you for the information. We will watch. As I translated Sam's words, he added as
warning to the pack. We will watch quietly, and respectfully. And perhaps from a less
intimidating vantage point. There was a groan as the wolves, one by one, laid themselves
down.

So embarrassing – feel like a pet dog – is this necessary, Sam?

Sam growled, a guttural sound rather than a verbal answer, and the voices ceased once
more. There was a strangely quiet moment. Every voice and every mind, both vampire and
werewolf, was silent. It was as if we were all taking one deep, much needed breath before
we began. With a deep sigh, Jasper finally broke the stillness, taking a careful step forward.

Are the puppies on their best behavior? he asked, his eyes locking with mine for a moment.
He was trying to be funny, not wanting to let his nerves show, but I knew this was going to
be difficult for him. I nodded, confident that Sam would keep the pack in order, and
watched as Jasper acted against every instinct he had within him, and turned his back to his
mortal enemies. I can't believe I'm doing this, he thought with a groan.

"Carlisle's right," he said, facing my family. "They'll fight like children. The two most
important things you'll need to remember are, first, don't let them get their arms around
you, and second, don't go for the obvious kill. That's all they'll be prepared for. As long as
you come at them from the side and keep moving, they'll be too confused to respond
effectively. Emmett?"

Gladly, he thought, grinning from ear to ear. I'm ready to show these wolves exactly how
fast and strong we really are.

Jasper signaled for Emmett to come forward. He wanted everyone to have a proper view.

"Okay, Emmett first. He's the best example of a newborn attack."

Thanks, bro. "I'll try not to break anything."

Jasper smiled. "What I mean is that Emmett relies on his strength. He's very straightforward
about the attack. The newborns won't be trying anything subtle, either."

I'll show you subtle, Emmett added dryly.

"Just go for the easy kill, Emmett," Jasper said, baiting him.

He's really asking for it now. Permission to pummel at will? I stifled a laugh.

"Okay, Emmett – try to catch me." Without a thought – exactly as Jasper had predicted –
Emmett lurched forward. He hurled himself toward Jasper like a bullet out of a gun. No
planning, no direction. The perfect example of a newborn attack. We couldn't have scripted
a better fight. Emmett fumbled and grabbed, his hands clenching around air, but Jasper
always knew exactly what his next move would be. He easily dodged every hit because
Emmett was always coming straight toward him.

Damn it! he silently screamed, over and over. It was all meant to be an exercise and nothing
more, but I could hear the real frustration in Emmett's mind. His pride would always be his
greatest fault, and I actually felt myself tensing as the fight went on. I watched as he threw
himself at Jasper time and again, never pausing, never thinking.
I think he's had enough, Jasper thought, calculating for the briefest of moments before
coming up behind Emmett, teeth bared.

"Damn it!" he yelled, this time aloud.

They're fast – faster than I wanted them to be – interesting tactics – why wouldn't he plan
his next move? – are they all going to be that big?

"Again," Emmett growled, forgetting himself, forgetting what this was all about.

"It's my turn," I said, stepping forward. I needed Emmett to snap out of it. Suddenly, I felt
Bella's fingers grip mine, pulling me back toward her. Guiltily, I realized that I'd forgotten
she was there. It was the first moment since I'd known her that her presence wasn't the
strongest force around me. There was an anxious feeling in the air, excited and determined,
and it was permeating everything.

"In a minute," Jasper told me. "I want to show Bella something first." I took a careful step
back, focusing on Bella again. My perfect, fragile love, standing in a field, watching
monsters learn how to fight. It was despicable that I'd forgotten her presence for even a
moment.

Jasper motioned for Alice to come forward. "I know you worry about her," he told Bella. "I
want to show you why that's not necessary."

Bella's eyes widened as she watched Jasper lunge toward Alice. She closed her eyes and
smiled.

Hmm. Left attack first? she thought, taking one deliberate step forward. A little predictable.
I grinned, glad Alice was able to have some fun today. What'll it be next? Ah, I see. She
took another step and Jasper passed through the space she'd just been standing in.

Missed me, she thought as he grasped at air. Missed me again. Unlike Emmett, Jasper was
planning his moves strategically, but Alice saw every choice he made and was always a
step ahead. The two were laughing, thoroughly enjoying their dance. Finally, Alice decided
to end the exercise on her terms. Her eyes lifted for a split second and she smiled as she
jumped in the air, landing on top of Jasper's shoulders.

"Gotcha," she said, kissing him.

Jasper laughed, his previous anxiety gone. Alice had an amazing power over him. He'd all
but forgotten the wolves were watching. "You truly are one frightening little monster," he
teased.

That could be inconvenient - how does she do that? - don't understand it - more powerful
than I'd expected.

Then, amid the banter and frustration, I heard Jacob's voice above them all. Thought she
was supposed to be powerless when we were around, he complained.

Hmm. The mutt made a valid point. I'd expected Alice to be blind the entire evening, yet
here she was, using her powers against Jasper. I looked at Alice, my eyes questioning, and
she grinned at me. The wolves aren't really involved right now. They're only observing, not
making any decisions. As soon as I realized what that meant, I asked Jasper to let me show
off a bit.

"It's good for them to learn some respect," I agreed, smiling as the irritation continued to
resonate through the pack.

You ready, Edward? Jasper asked, a sly look in his eyes. I was always his favorite opponent
in any game. He loved trying to trick me with his mind, thinking moves he wasn't intending
on making, planning and then changing his mind at the last second. We were a fairly even
match, as far as strength was concerned. I had the upper hand in speed but he was a far
more experienced fighter than I was. Suffice it to say, I was glad I would never have to
fight him in earnest, because the outcome could truly go either way.

"My turn," I announced, giving Bella's hand an extra squeeze before releasing it. I could tell
she was uncomfortable watching me fight, even if it was all simply practice. I worried that
she wouldn't be able to handle it when I left for the real fight. I could imagine her
scheming, trying to come along, though of course she could do nothing to help us. I hadn't
given much thought to where she would be during the actual fight. The only thing I knew
for sure was that she needed to be far away. I wouldn't risk one of the newborns catching
her scent.

Give it your best shot, Jasper said, bringing me back to the moment as he filled his mind
with an array of fighting techniques. He lunged toward me and I smiled, already confident
in his first move. I easily dodged his first attack, then came at him from behind, only to
have him side-step at the last moment. He turned and ran straight toward me, his mind
screaming, bank left! but I knew the tenor of his voice so well, his lie was obvious. When
he realized that telling me the wrong move wasn't going to work, he tried to force himself
not to think at all. His fighting became more primal, more instinctual, but no matter how
hard he tried to keep his mind out of it, I could always see what his next move would look
like in the moment before he made it.

What I wouldn't give to battle you in a fair fight, he complained as I dodged yet another hit.
Speeaking of which...

I couldn't help but laugh as I felt the wave of calm he was attempting to send my direction.

"You wish," I chuckled, taking another snap at him.

It was worth a try.

Not that I want to interrupt the party, Carlisle said, clearing his throat, but I believe the
wolves are getting restless.

Jasper and I laughed. I'd been having so much fun with him, I'd forgotten all about the
wolves.

"Back to work," he sighed. "We'll call it a draw." I was taking it easy on you so you
wouldn't look bad in front of Bella, he added with a smirk. Sure he was.
I suppose there's no putting it off any longer, Carlisle thought sadly. He was the only one
not looking forward to combat training. Jasper tried to keep his session with Carlisle very
practical and methodical. He taught him the most essential tactics and nothing more,
knowing how difficult it was for Carlisle to be fighting at all. It went against everything he
stood for. The entire time, Carlisle kept repeating, necessary, have to protect my family.

When Rosalie's turn came, she was distracted, so Jasper taught her about focus and using
all her senses to keep alert. "They won't hesitate for even a second, so you have to be ready
at all times," he instructed. "Though our numbers are good, we have to be ready for the
possibility of simultaneous attacks. Always be watching, listening, feeling where the
newborns are around you. They won't be subtle, so as long as you're paying attention, they
won't be able to catch you off guard."

I was surprised by how enthusiastic Esme was. She was so much like Carlisle in so many
ways, I was expecting her to be as apprehensive as he was, but she was eager to learn
everything she could. Throughout her training, she tried to remain confident, but
occassionally I heard fear creep into her mind. She worried about her children, she even felt
concern for the wolves, but mostly she worried about Carlisle being too hesitant.

What if he gets hurt because of his unwillingness to kill? It soon became clear to me that
her determination to fight as hard and as strong as possible was because she was expecting
Carlisle not to. If the moment came when she feared for his safety, she would do whatever
was necessary to protect him.

When Emmett stepped up to fight again, I felt Bella lean sleepily against my side. "We're
about finished," I whispered, hugging her closer to me. Even the wolves had grown silent,
and I knew the evening was coming to an end. Jasper turned to them with a sigh.

"We'll be doing this tomorrow. Please feel welcome to observe again."

Yes, Sam said. We'll be here. As I repeated his words, I heard another murmer run through
the pack. There seemed to be mixed feelings about the necessity of another training session.
Isn't one night with these leeches enough? - are you kidding, this is awesome - I can't
believe they're letting us in on all this - what are you talking about – all this is is a whole
lot of training for a fight that's gonna be over before we've had time to have any real fun -
speaking of fun, did anyone stop to think what will happen if we accidently have too much
fun?

That's enough! Sam shouted. My apologies, he continued, eyes locked with mine. You and
your family have been nothing but kind to us today. I believe what Paul what trying to ask
was, in the heat of battle, with everything happening so quickly, what if we find it difficult
to distinguish between you and the others? Would it be possible to take a moment to
familiarze ourselves with your particular scents?

I nodded, taking a deep breath as I turned to my family. "The pack thinks it would be
helpful to be familiar with each of our scents - so they don't make mistakes later. If we
could hold very still, it will make it easier for them."

"Certainly," Carlisle answered, looking Sam straight in the eye. "Whatever you need."

Everyone on your best behavior, Sam ordered.

Yes, they all collectively agreed as they stepped toward us. Sam led the pack, trying not to
show his discomfort as he took in our scents one by one. Even he couldn't keep the disgust
out of his thoughts, though.

Sickening, he thought, his eyes nearly rolling into the back of his head. The rest of the pack
laughed, though they all knew their turn was next.

All right, Jasper thought, glancing in my direction as he watched the wolves warily. If any
of them gets any bright ideas you'll let me know, right? I rolled my eyes and nodded. Way
too close for comfort in my opinion. They'd better be worth it. I mean, we haven't actually
seen them fight.

This is fantastic, Emmett thought, grinning slyly. Get a whiff of this, hairballs.
I almost laughed, but at that moment, I noticed the look on Bella's face. She was watching
the pack closely, obviously intrigued. As her eyes scanned wolf after wolf, I understood
what she was doing. It was as clear as if I had suddenly been granted the ability to read her
mind. She was looking for Jacob.

When she finally spotted him, her eyes widened slightly. A small grin appeared, tugging at
the corner of her lips, and I felt my fists clench. I suppose it was foolish of me to think she
would be frightened of him. After all, it was as a wolf that he had once saved her life. Still,
I felt a deep, aching pain in my chest as I listened to her laugh lightheartedly at his
ridiculous wolf smile. I was expecting Jacob to have some snide remark to punctuate the
moment, but his elation at her easy acceptance of him seemed to make him forget my
presence. In a way, that was worse. Neither of them were paying the slightest bit of
attention to me. They were lost in their own private moment.

Jacob stepped out of line and walked over to Bella. It wasn't until he passed by me that it
occurred to him I was watching the exchange.

Bet you were wishing she'd be scared, right? He was trying to infuse his tone with the usual
amount of hautiness, but even he wasn't sure how she would react when he was standing
right in front of her. When he was within her reach, he stopped and threw one last glance in
my direction. Enjoying the show, leech? It took every ounce of strength not to lunge for
him, but a part of me needed to see how things would play out. Bella's breathing had sped
up, and although her predominant expression seemed to be fascination, I could tell there
was a bit of nervousness as well. Maybe Jacob would push her just slightly beyond what
she was ready for. It wouldn't be the first time he'd dug his own grave where Bella's
comfort level was concerned.

I watched as Jacob crouched down, lowering himself until his eyes were level with hers.

"Jacob?" she whispered, and he grunted his affirmation. Slowly, cautiously, she reached out
to touch his face.
Bella, he sighed as his eyes closed. He was practically purring. As Bella continued to stroke
his fur, Jacob regained his senses. His eyes were locked with hers, but his thoughts were
directed at me. I know you told me to wait for her to ask, but is it technically a kiss if I don't
have lips?

Before I had time to stop him, Jacob was licking Bella. Licking her! I was about to fulfil my
promise to break his jaw, but Bella shouted, "Ew! Gross, Jake!" and smacked him in the
face. At least she didn't appear to have hurt her hand this time.

The two of them were laughing as my family watched in horror.

So disgusting, Alice thought. The smell will never come out. She's going to have to burn
that outfit. Not that it's much of a loss.

You gonna let him lick your girl like that? Emmett added, clearly only half teasing.

It wasn't only my family that was having a difficult time understanding the scene in front of
them. The rest of the pack had been stopped in their tracks, momentarily forgetting that
they were supposed to be memorizing our scents.

Dude, so uncalled for - she's hanging out with vampires and you're practically marking her
- give it up, Jake.

Then, Sam's voice rose above them all. We're finished here. Everyone should return home.
It's imperitive that we rest if we are to go through this ordeal again tomorrow night. The
wolves were more than ready to obey, though I could hear that his words had not been a
command. He hadn't been using the same tone as when he was speaking as their Alpha. I
had to admit, the nuances of the pack were fascinating.

As they all turned to leave, I realized Jacob was still fixed firmly in place. Two other
wolves were waiting near the edge of the clearing, urging him to join them. I'll meet you in
a few minutes, he told them. There's something I need to take care of first.
I let out a deep sigh. I didn't remember what it felt like to be exhausted, but I was fairly
certain this was as close as a vampire could get to it. All I wanted to do was take Bella
home, and let her fall asleep in my arms, even if it was only for an hour or two. I didn't
know how much more of Jacob I could take without doing something I would regret.

"Ready to go?" I asked Bella, taking her hand.

Not so fast. We have to figure out what to do with Bella during the fight. And don't you
dare pretend you haven't been thinking about it. Are you taking her somewhere?

"I've not quite figured out all the details yet."

Leave her with me. Hate me all you want, but you know I can protect her.

"It's more complicated than that. Don't concern youself; I'll make sure it's safe."

"What are you talking about?" Bella asked, irritated. I felt guilty. I knew she hated feeling
left out, but until I knew where I was going to take her, I didn't want her worrying about it.

"Just discussing strategy," I said gently.

No, Jacob said, his eyes racing back and forth between Bella and I. I'm sick and tired of you
not telling her things because you think it's for her own good. This is Bella's life, too, you
know. She has a right to be involved. If you can't manage to see that, then I'm going to talk
to her for you. Before I could say another word, he was running into the trees.

"Wait," Bella shouted after him. "Why did he leave?" she asked dismally. It killed me to
hear the disappointment in her voice.

"He's coming back," I assured her. "He wants to be able to talk for himself."

In less than a minute's time, Jacob was jogging back to us, very much human - and very
upset.

"Okay, bloodsucker. What's so complicated about it?"

"I have to consider every possibility. What if someone gets by you?"

He laughed humorlessly. You seem to have forgotten that we were born to kill vampires.
We are always ready for them and there is no way one is getting by me. I shook my head
defiantly. "Okay, so leave her on the reservation," he conceded. "We're making Collin and
Brady stay behind anyway. She'll be safe there."

"Are you talking about me?" Bella asked, her voice scathing.

"I just want to know what he plans to do with you during the fight," Jacob replied.

"Do with me?"

"You can't stay in Forks, Bella." She seemed furious, but she had to have known this was
coming. There was absolutely no way she was staying anywhere near this fight. "They
know where to look for you there. What if someone slipped by us?"

"Charlie?" she asked, choking on his name.

"He'll be with Billy," Jacob promised her. "If my dad has to commit a murder to get him
there, he'll do it. Probably it won't take that much. It's this Saturday, right? There's a game."

I could have strangled Jacob then and there.

"This Saturday?" she shrieked. I was hoping to talk to her about the timing of it all later.
Privately. When I could comfort her and assure her we were completely ready. I stared at
Bella, waiting for the panic to set in. "Well, crap! There goes your graduation present," she
said, and I couldn't hold in my laughter. My Bella, still worried about all the wrong things.

"It's the thought that counts," I promised her gently. "You can give the tickets to someone
else."

"Angela and Ben," she said quickly, seemingly content with her decision. "At least that will
get them out of town."
I reached out to stroke her cheek gently. "You can't evacuate everyone. Hiding you is just a
precaution. I told you - we'll have no problem now. There won't be enough of them to keep
us entertained." She glared at me, either still unconvinced, or upset that I was once again
making light of the fight.

"But what about keeping her in La Push?" Jacob repeated. You're just being stubborn, you
know. She'd be perfectly safe.

"She's been back and forth too much," I reminded him. Maybe he was underestimating the
tracking abilities of whoever was in charge of this army. They had her scent. They'd
memorized it. "She's left trails all over the place. Alice only sees very young vampires
coming on the hunt, but obviously someone created them. There is someone more
experienced behind this. Whoever he," I stopped, remembering how convinced Bella was
that Victoria was behind it, and added, "or she is, this could all be a distraction. Alice will
see if he decides to look himself, but we could be very busy at the time that decision is
made. Maybe someone is counting on that." My biggest fear in all that was that Alice
would see someone deciding to go after Bella, but not being able to do anything to stop it.
If it was in my power, of course I would leave the fight to protect her, but what if I couldn't
get away in time?

"I can't leave her somewhere she's been frequently," I repeated. "She has to be hard to find,
just in case. It's a very long shot, but I'm not taking chances." Bella was staring at me as I
spoke, absolute terror in her eyes. She was so convinced she had this all figured out, I could
almost hear her imagining Victoria cornering her while my family and I fought the
newborns. "Just being overcautious," I assured her, but she appeared unconvinced.

"So hide her here," Jacob said, pointing toward the forest, his mind wandering through
countless locations he apparently deemed remote enough to stop a vampire. Perhaps we
hadn't demonstrated our abilities well enough. "There's a million possibilities - places either
one of us could be in just a few minutes if there's a need."

I shook my head, frustrated that he wasn't understanding. I thought he was as concerned

over her safety as I was, but now it sounded like he wanted to drop her off in the first
random patch of woods he could find. "Her scent is too strong and, combined with mine,
especially distinct."

Please spare me the details, he said, cringing as he thought of Bella clutched tightly in my
arms. I might have been amused, but I was too busy trying to make him see the necessity of
Bella leaving Forks.

"Even if I carried her," I continued, "it would leave a trail. Our trace is all over the range,
but in conjunction with Bella's scent, it would catch their attention. We're not sure exactly
which path they'll take, because they don't know yet. If they crossed her scent before they
found us..."

That did it. That sentence brought the image I'd been fearing all along to the forefront of
Jacob's mind. He pictured, all too clearly, the entire army catching Bella's scent, their eyes
blood red, and their maker commanding them to strike without mercy. Neither of us could
keep the horror out of our expressions.

"You see the difficulties," I said, trying to keep my voice calm.

I'm starting to, he admitted silently, not wanting to add to the fear we could both see on
Bella's face. "There has to be a way to make it work." There has to be somewhere those
filthy bloodsuckers couldn't find her, somewhere we could be sure they wouldn't go.

I listened as he shuffled through all the areas of the forest I'd already thought of and
decided against. There were paths that seemed unlikely they would take, but nothing we
could be certain of. Even if Alice saw them choose a path, that too might be a diversion,
and they could change at the last moment. We were both silent until I started to feel Bella
stumbling at my side. I hugged her tightly to me, and whispered, "I need to get you home -
you're exhausted. And Charlie will be waking up soon..."

"Wait a sec," Jacob interrupted. "My scent disgusts you, right?" That was putting it mildly.
Would my scent gross those other leeches out enough to cover up Bella's scent?
"Hmm, not bad." I watched as Jacob pictured himself running Bella into the middle of
nowhere, careful not to let her touch anything. "It's possible." I turned to my family and
called, "Jasper?"He looked almost grateful as they joined us.

I hope whatever you two need will help distract Alice. She's going crazy here.

I was sorry Alice was having difficulties, but I didn't have time to worry too much about it.
Jacob had actually managed to stumble onto a possible solution - one that meant I wouldn't
have to run Bella out of town - and I was eager to test his theory. "Okay, Jacob," I said,
allowing him to explain. Instead of telling Bella his plan, however, he smiled at her and
opened his arms. Was he expecting her to just throw herself at him?

I'll try not to enjoy myself too much. But I can't promise anything. It was an effort to remain
silent. Bella's hesitant expression, however, did manage to suppress whatever lingering
feelings of resentment I was feeling. She wasn't going to be any happier with this part of
the plan than I was.

"We're going to see if I can confuse the scent enough to hide your trail," Jacob told her,
unconsciously opening his arms a little wider. He was trying not to let me hear how
disappointed he was that Bella appeared so unwilling to go to him.

"You're going to have to let him carry you, Bella," I explained. She was still eying him
warily and Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Don't be such a baby," he complained as he scooped her up. And you, he added, glancing
at me for a split second, don't look so smug.

I ignored him, turning my attention to Jasper. "Bella's scent is so much more potent to me -
I thought it would be a fairer test if someone else tried."

Of course, he nodded, as Jacob and Bella took off. It was all I could do not to listen, but my
patience was at its end for one day, and I didn't want to risk hearing something that would
push me too far.
You probably don't really want to hear about what he's feeling right now, right? Jasper
asked sarcastically.

"Not unless you want the wolf count to be down by one."

He does smell revolting. You know you owe me one for this.

"I know. And I don't like a single thing about the situation, but I don't know what else to do.
There's nowhere I can think of that will guarantee her safety."

Then I've got your back, brother.

"Thank you." We waited the brief time it took for Jacob to make his circle, and when I saw
them reenter the clearing, Jasper took off to follow the trail. I ran to the edge of the woods
to wait for him, and less than a minute later, he and Alice joined us.

Why is he still holding her? Alice asked, glaring at Jacob. If you want, I can make him put
her down.

We all watched as Bella very defiantly stormed away from Jacob, which was more
satisfying than anything Alice would have done to him. She took me hand, squeezing it
tightly as she asked Jasper, "Well?"

"As long as you don't touch anything, Bella, I can't imagine someone sticking their nose
close enough to that trail to catch your scent. It was almost completely obscured."

Almost? Alice must have read the concern on my face because she added, "A definite
success." Remember, no matter how many pieces of her clothing they sniff, we will always
know Bella's scent better than those newborns, and we could barely pick it up. You have
nothing to worry about.

"And it gave me an idea," Jasper said.

"Which will work," Alice promised, watching the whole scene play out. She saw Bella
using her scent to lead the newborns straight to us. It was absolutely perfect, and gave us
control over what we'd considered our biggest wild card - not knowing which direction they
would come from.

"Clever," I complimented Jasper.

"How do you stand that?" Jacob asked Bella, who was still very obviously irritated with
him.

"We're - well, you're - going to leave a false trail to the clearing, Bella. The newborns are
hunting, your scent will excite them, and they'll come exactly the way we want them to
without being careful about it. Alice can already see that this will work. When they catch
our scent, they'll split up and try to come at us from two sides. Half will go through the
forest, where her vision suddenly disappears..."

"Yes!" Jacob shouted, understanding at once what that meant. In that instant, he could
imagine the way the whole fight would play out. I found myself smiling at his excitement.
He was picturing fighting alongside us, fighting against a common enemy, and as unlikely
as this alliance had once seemed, he was actually looking forward to it.

Man, if her scent's gonna drive them that crazy, just imagine how messed up they'd be if
Bella was really there.

"Not a chance," I spat at Jasper, and his eyes widened apologetically.

"I know, I know. I didn't even consider it, not really."

Sure you didn't, Alice thought sourly, stomping on his foot. That's why I saw a two-second
version of the whole brilliant idea.

"If Bella was actually there in the clearing," Jasper explained, trying to defend himself, "it
would drive them insane. They wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything but her. It
would make picking them off truly easy..."

I shot him a warning glance. It would be best for all of us if he didn't finish that sentence.
"Of course it's too dangerous for her. It was just an errant thought." You should know by
now that you might not always like everything you hear. You can't blame me for thinking
through every possibility. As he thought it, though, I caught him glancing at Bella again,
and I had to silence my growl.

"No," I said firmly.

"You're right." I'm sorry, really. You know I'd never let anything happen to her.

I forced a nod as he and Alice took off for another round of practice.

"Best two out of three?" he was laughing, and Jacob groaned.

Nice family, he thought, seething. Really putting Bella's safety first.

"Jasper looks at things from a military perspective," I told him, suddenly feeling defensive,
though even I'd been furious with Jasper only moments before. "He looks at all the options
- it's thoroughness, not callousness."

Right. Awesome strategy. Why didn't I think of using Bella as bait?

I rolled my eyes, unwilling to waste another moment on Jacob. I was ready to be done with
the whole evening.

"I'll bring her here Friday afternoon to lay the false trail. You can meet us afterward, and
carry her to a place I know. Completely out of the way, and easily defensible, not that it
will come to that. I'll take another route there."

"And then what? Leave her with a cell phone?"

"You have a better idea?" I snapped, losing my last ounce of patience.

"Actually I do," he smiled.

"Oh..." I waited while he ran through his plan. Jacob had just found a very important job for
one of the pack's younger, and more determined, members. "Again, dog, not bad at all."

"We tried to talk Seth into staying behind with the younger two," Jacob told Bella. "He's
still too young, but he's stubborn and he's resisting. So I thought of a new assignment for
him - cell phone." Bella gave him a half smile, but her eyes betrayed her confusion.

"As long as Seth Clearwater is in his wolf form, he'll be connected to the pack," I explained
before turning back to Jacob. "Distance isn't a problem?"

"Nope." Likely trying to hold onto one of the pack's "trade secrets," he didn't seem overly
anxious to elaborate. It didn't matter, though. He couldn't stop himself from remembering a
time when the pack had tested its limits.

"Three hundred miles? That's impressive."

Don't you ever feel like a jerk just leaving her out of the conversation like that? he asked,
turning to Bella with a sigh. "That's the farthest we've ever gone to experiment. Still clear
as a bell," he told her smugly.

"It's a good idea," I finally said. As hard as it was to think about leaving Bella with a wolf,
of all creatures, I couldn't argue with their ability to protect her, and I liked the knowledge
that I could get to her quickly if something went wrong. It also meant she would be in my
arms that much sooner when this whole ordeal was over. "I'll feel better with Seth there,
even without the instantaneous communication. I don't know if I'd be able to leave Bella
there alone. To think it's come to this, though! Trusting werewolves!"

"Fighting with vampires instead of against them!" he agreed, incredulous.

"Well, you still get to fight against some of them," I reminded him.

Jacob smiled, his mind filled with visions of vampires being torn apart, and his eyes filled
with excitement. "That's the reason we're here.
Selfish

Our evening of training with the wolves observing, was at its end. It was a good thing, too,
because Bella was exhausted. She was swaying at my side, her eyes half closed, though of
course insisted she was perfectly fine. Still, there was no way I trusted her to hang onto me
as tired as she was, so I carried her in my arms on the run home. Thankfully, she was tired
enough not to argue with me and she sighed as she snuggled closer to my chest. I felt her
body go limp about halfway to her house, and I slowed down, letting myself take a moment
to enjoy the quiet peacefulness that came over her. She'd once been terrified to run with me,
and now she trusted me enough to fall asleep in my arms. It was a wonderful feeling.

It would have been nice to say the rest of the night was as peaceful, but I'd barely tucked
Bella into bed when she started tossing and turning, mumbling incoherently. It was nearly
morning, and I wondered if she would wake up at her usual time, even though she'd been
asleep less than an hour. I knew Bella enjoyed waking up early, especially when we had the
whole day to spend together, but there was no way I was going to wake her after the night
she'd had. She deserved a day of rest after.

There were a few moments where I was certain she was waking up. Her eyes even started
to flutter open several times, but she always squinted at the light coming in through her
window, groaned, and fell back asleep. I was perfectly all right with her taking a day off
from the world, so I rubbed her back and ran my fingers through her hair until she slipped
back into a deep sleep. It wasn't long before she was sleep talking more clearly, her head
resting on my shoulder.

"Don't go. Too dangerous," she muttered, her hand gripping at my shirt. I smiled, tracing
my fingers up and down her arm. When I stopped at her wrist, I felt the bracelet that I
hadn't really had time to examine earlier. I'd seen it at the party and had assumed it was a
graduation gift from one of her friends. It wasn't until I looked closer that I noticed the
charm on it – a wolf. Of course.

It was tiny and obviously hand-carved, innocuous at first glance, but the more I stared at it,
the more it bothered me. It wasn't simply that Jacob had given her a gift, but rather the fact
that she'd both accepted it, and was already wearing it. She threw a fit whenever I tried to
buy her something. She even argued if my family gave her presents. Yet Jacob had been
allowed to give her a gift that also happened to be a constant reminder of his presence.

"Ridiculous double standards," I muttered, then fell silent again as Bella stirred. I berated
myself for having disturbed her with yet another bout of my poorly controlled jealousy. It
had been easier to ignore the feeling when Bella was angry with Jacob, but her fear for his
safety since he'd decided to join the fight seemed to have put us all right back at square one.
One way or another, he always found a way to be in her life.

"Jacob," she whispered a moment later, confirming my thoughts. I felt my teeth clench
together, but was careful not to make a sound this time. "Too young," she mumbled. Like a
child who'd just gotten his way, I found myself grinning. Unfortunately, my elation was
short lived.

"All too young," she continued. "Don't fight. Don't die."

My eyes shut tightly and I held Bella closer to me. She was worried about the pack. All of
them. It was in her nature to worry, especially since she considered herself the reason there
was going to be a fight at all. If anything happened to any of the wolves, I knew she'd never
forgive herself. Which was why I was all the more determined to do everything in my
power to keep them safe.

I didn't have to like them and I didn't have to trust them, but for Bella's sake, I would help
them. If that meant translating at a few more training sessions, and listening in on the drama
within the pack, so be it. I wanted them to be as prepared as possible. In actuality, I
imagined the wolves themselves would fight much like the newborns. They would be
running primarily on instinct, going for the obvious kill, and it was that style of fighting I
worried would get some of them in trouble. The more they learned from us, the better
chance they would have at leaving the fight uninjured and without casualties.

I don't know how long I spent thinking about the pack – planning, thinking up strategies for
them – but I was brought back to the present when Bella muttered, "family." I had no way
of knowing whether she was still dreaming about the wolves or whether her thoughts had
drifted back to me and the rest of my family. I knew she'd long considered herself an
honorary Cullen, and we'd certainly welcomed her in as such, but I also knew how close
she felt to Jacob and his friends. Though I'd never understand how she was comfortable
with either group, I was always very aware of the fact that her heart was divided. She had
two places that felt like home, two families that would fight to protect her, and two
creatures that shouldn't exist who would give anything to keep her beside them forever.

The hours passed, and the sun continued to shine through Bella's window. I wasn't
accustomed to watching her sleep in the daylight, but I enjoyed the way that, even in her
sleep, she seemed to smile as the sunlight hit her face. She was murmuring and stretching,
before wrapping her arms more tightly around me, when her face pulled into an expression
of utter fear.

"No!" she cried, and I held her close, stroking her hair and trying to push the nightmare
away. "Don't hurt them! I'm here, I'm right here."

I tried to keep myself calm – my getting upset wouldn't help Bella drift back into a more
restful sleep – but I understood where her unconscious thoughts had gone. She was always
trying to find a way to keep everyone else safe, even if the cost was her own safety.

"Edward," she groaned, and though her eyes were shut tightly, I could almost see tears
behind them.

"Bella, shh," I whispered. "You're all right, you're safe. No one's hurt. No one's in danger."

"Help. Have to help." Bella's voice was getting softer, though no less urgent, as she began
muttering words that were meaningless to me. I guessed that many of them were Quileute,
names or places she'd learned during her visits to La Push. Amid the stream of words I
knew little about, I heard her say, "the third wife helped," and while the words were
English, they made no more sense to me than the foreign words had.

"Not right, not here," was the last coherent thing she spoke, before drifting back into a
seemingly dreamless sleep.
My fingers continued tracing lines up and down her back, but my thoughts were miles
away. Bella was going to get herself hurt, or worse, trying to protect us unless I made
absolute sure she couldn't get anywhere near the battle. I was counting on Seth to keep her
safe and far away from the fight, depending on his ability to make her stay hidden when
what she clearly wanted was to be seen. I was trying to stay positive, but it was incredibly
difficult leaving so much in the hands of such unpredictable creatures.

Bella was restless the remainder if the day, and there were several times I considered
waking her. Although I didn't hear anything else that sounded like a plan to put herself in
danger, I could hear her distress in every sound she made. Eventually, a calm seemed to
spread across her face, and her chin lifted up toward me.

"Edward?" she said softly, caught between a yawn and a stretch. I smiled as her hand tried
to find me, her eyes still closed against the light pouring in through her window.

"Are you really awake this time?" I whispered. If she was finally dreaming of me, I
definitely didn't want to wake her.

"Mmm," she breathed, snuggling against my chest. "Have there been a lot of false alarms?"

"You've been very restless – talking all day."

"All day?" she repeated, her eyes opening more fully and struggling to focus.

"You had a long night. You'd earned a day in bed," I reminded her.

She sat up, though she still seemed somewhat disoriented. "Wow," she said, staring at the
window. She looked absolutely beautiful as the afternoon light bounced off her hair,
turning it to a shimmering golden color. It was as if all the stress of her troubled sleep
melted away. We'd both spent so much time worrying about the future lately, and I was
thrilled to take the opportunity to remember what it was like to just be together. I almost
didn't want to speak, for fear that it would remind us of what was waiting for us outside
these four walls. Still, there were some things that couldn't be avoided. I heard the low
rumble of her empty stomach before she'd seemed to notice it.
"Hungry?" I asked, then quickly added, "Do you want breakfast in bed?" hoping to keep her
to myself for a little while longer.

"I'll get it," she sighed. "I need to get up and move around."

She nearly stumbled just stepping out of bed, so I held on a little more tightly than usual as
we walked hand in hand downstairs to the kitchen. As soon as the food was in sight, her
stomach growled again, and I laughed to myself as she squeezed my hand before letting it
go. I sat down in my usual chair and Bella glanced at me for a split second, then grabbed
her box of Pop-Tarts. I'd watched her eat so many times, yet she always seemed a bit
nervous, like eating in front of me would offend me or bother me in some way. I wasn't
even sure she was consciously aware of it anymore, but whenever I was in the kitchen with
her, she kept her breakfast routine as fast and simple as possible.

"Ugh, I'm a mess," she suddenly said, her eyes widening as she looked at her reflection in
the toaster. I wanted to disagree, to tell her that she was as beautiful as ever, but I'd learned
that there was positively no point in paying her a compliment when she'd just woken up.
Even if it was the middle of the day.

"It was a long night," I reminded her. "You should have stayed here and slept."

"Right! And missed everything. You know, you need to start accepting the fact that I'm part
of the family now."

I grinned, loving the easy, confident way she said it. Bella was part of my family, now and
always. No matter how much she cared about Jacob, how much she worried about the pack
and their safety, and even if she loved spending time in La Push, my family was home to
her. She wanted us as deeply as we wanted her.

"I could probably get used to that idea," I said casually, though I was finding it difficult to
suppress my excitement. Still, there was one thing she hadn't yet agreed to – the thing I
wanted, needed, to really feel like she was a part of my family forever. I felt my eyes
drifting to her left hand, and the finger that I'd envisioned placing a ring on. After a
moment, the emptiness of it started to consume me, and I had to look away. Unfortunately,
my eyes fell on her wrist, and the one piece of jewelry she was wearing.

"May I?" I asked, reaching out to examine the wolf charm.

"Um, sure," she said nervously.

Bella sat there, frozen, as I held the small wolf in the palm of my hand. She was holding her
breath as if waiting for me to voice my disapproval. As much as it troubled me to see her
wearing it, I didn't feel right about asking her to take it off. I remained silent, trying to think
of something that would appease that nagging voice inside me, without offending Bella in
the process.

The wolf was intricately carved for such a tiny piece of wood. I had to admit, Jacob was
talented – and smart. He'd made it himself, which meant Bella couldn't make him return it,
and of course she would wear it because he'd obviously worked hard on it and she wouldn't
want to hurt his feelings. So there it would remain, day after day, a nice little reminder that
he was always there. Not that I had any doubt Bella already thought of him often. Her sleep
talking was proof enough of that, even if she did try to shield me from it during her waking
hours.

When I'd finally reconciled with myself that there was no way I could, in good conscience,
ask her to remove it, I decided the best alternative was to use it to my advantage. A small
piece of leverage, perhaps, but against Bella's stubbornness, I would gladly take whatever I
could get.

"Jacob Black can give you presents," I said quietly, carefully gauging her reaction.

The tiniest blush colored her cheeks, and she didn't look me in the eye when she answered.
"You've given me presents," she said. "You know I like the homemade kind."

I knew she was referring to the CD I'd made her of some of my piano compositions, though
how giving her music counted as a gift was beyond me. She'd been my muse, the reason
they existed at all. I was just sharing the product of her inspiration. I was about to argue that
very point, when something occurred to me. Bella might not quite be ready to let me put a
ring on her finger, but there was one diamond she might be willing to wear, assuming I
managed to keep my tone casual.

"How about hand-me-downs? Are those acceptable?" I asked, not quite looking at her.

"What do you mean?"

"This bracelet," I said, tracing the line of her wrist with my fingertips. "You'll be wearing
this a lot?"

Bella shrugged, probably still worried about offending me. I nearly sighed. She really did
spend too much time trying to please everyone else. I wouldn't be surprised if she started
taking it off when I was around and putting it back on whenever she was with Jacob.
Although, if my plan worked, I hoped she wouldn't find that necessary. I didn't mind her
wearing it – I just wanted it to remind her of my love as well.

Bella was looking down anxiously, so I added, "because you wouldn't want to hurt his
feelings."

"Sure, I guess so."

I stared at her hand, already imagining her wearing my mother's diamond. It was one of the
few ties I still had to my human life, and it wasn't until I pictured it on Bella's wrist that I
realized how important it was to me to share it with her. I let my finger trace along her
wrist, my cold touch on her heated skin making her shiver slightly. "Don't you think it's
fair, then, if I have a little representation?"

"Representation?"

"A charm – something to keep me on your mind."

"You're in every thought I have. I don't need reminders." It was a lovely sentiment, and
under other circumstances, I might have lingered awhile on the thought, but I was on a
mission.

"If I gave you something, would you wear it?" I asked, finally meeting her eyes.

"A hand-me-down?" she repeated. Always so stubborn.

"Yes, something I've had for a while." I was trying to remain casual, but I could feel a wide
smile breaking through as I thought of the diamond my mother had once worn. It had hung
gracefully around her neck on the most delicate of chains, casting prisms around my room
when the light hit it. It was one of the clearest human memories I had, and I'd clung to it for
so many decades. I never thought anyone would wear it again, yet now I wanted nothing
more than to see it reflecting in Bella's eyes.

"Whatever makes you happy," she finally said, though it was clear she wasn't thrilled by the
idea of accepting anything I had to give her, even if I hadn't spent a penny on it.

"Have you noticed the inequality? Because I certainly have." I hadn't meant for my voice to
sound so sharp, but it was hard to fight the feelings of frustration. Why was she so
unwilling to let me give her gifts?

"What inequality?" she asked.

"Everyone else is able to get away with giving you things. Everyone but me. I would have
loved to get you a graduation present, but I didn't. I knew it would have upset you more
than if anyone else did. That's utterly unfair. How do you explain yourself?"

"Easy. You're more important than everyone else. And you've given me you. That's already
more than I deserve, and anything else you give me just throws us more out of balance."

Her tone had been so matter-of-fact, that it took me a moment to realize what she was
saying. How she could still see herself as the winner rather than the prize was beyond me. I
rolled my eyes. "The way you regard me is ludicrous."
Bella nearly rolled her eyes back at me, but seemed to catch herself, and instead, went back
to eating her breakfast. I was about to return to the subject of my little hand-me-down, but
the sound of my ringing cell phone stopped me. I looked at the number on the phone,
though I already had a pretty good idea of who it was and what she was going to tell me.
Alice had been keeping a close eye on Bella's future, and after what I'd heard last night, I
guessed there were certain decisions Bella was considering that neither Alice nor I would
approve of.

"What is it, Alice?"

"Looking out for all of Bella's stupid choices is starting to turn into a full time job. I might
demand another car if this keeps up." I sighed, waiting for her to finish her rant. All I really
cared about was finding out what absurd stunt Bella was planning, and what I would need
to do to stop her.

"You know, I thought she'd started to develop a little better sense of self-preservation," she
continued. "I hadn't seen her making any life threatening decisions in such a long time, but
I guess I was wrong. All last night, I kept getting visions of Bella stumbling around, trying
to find the clearing like Jasper was talking about. Apparently, she thinks all we need is a
nice tasty little distraction for the newborns, and we'll have this fight in the bag. I never
actually saw her reach the clearing because, well, it's Bella, but lately she's been doing a lot
of thinking about jamming a rock into her hand, which of course is brilliant, because then
we'd all be running around like bloodthirsty newborns. She really doesn't think things
through very well, does she? I just hope becoming a vampire will help her common sense a
bit. Anyway, that army is busy wiping itself out – they're down to nineteen by the way –
and they're basically doing our job for us. There's absolutely nothing to worry about, and if
you could possibly try to get that through Bella's head, I'd appreciate it."

I sighed again, a little more loudly this time, trying to reign Alice in. I raised an eyebrow at
Bella who was fidgeting nervously, and turning a deeper shade of red by the second.

"Okay," Alice finally breathed, apparently nearing the end of her speech, "I just thought
you should know that Bella is being completely senseless about the whole situation."
"I sort of guessed as much," I told her, my eyes locked with Bella's. "She was talking in her
sleep." Bella's eyes widened like she'd been caught in a lie.

"I trust you to take care of this," Alice said firmly. "And while you're at it, you can go
ahead and tell Bella that her sister says that if she does anything to jeopardize her future – "

"I'll take care of it," I said, cutting her off before she broke the phone. If I hadn't been so
upset, I might have smiled at Alice's sister title, but it was difficult to think of anything
besides why Bella was chewing on her lip, and avoiding my gaze.

"Is there something you'd like to talk to me about?"

I watched as a thousand expressions seemed to tug at her face, her eyes worried, sorrowful,
then finally resolute.

"I like Jasper's idea," she admitted, and I bit back all the things I wanted to say but knew
wouldn't be helpful. My only option was to rationalize with her, make sure she understood
why it would be completely counterproductive to have her anywhere near the fight.

"I want to help," she pleaded. "I have to do something."

"It wouldn't help to have you in danger."

"Jasper thinks it would. This is his area of expertise."

I glared at her, because she was not going to use Jasper's military tactics to justify a suicide
mission.

"You can't keep me away," she said, her chin lifting slightly, defiantly. "I'm not going to
hide out in the forest while you all take risks for me."

I was still upset by the thought of Bella willfully putting herself in danger, but I suddenly
saw the image of Bella's attempt to find us. She'd be wandering aimlessly through the
forest, grumbling to herself about not having a better sense of direction, and tripping over
loose branches along the way.
"Alice doesn't see you in the clearing, Bella," I explained. "She sees you stumbling around
lost in the woods. You won't be able to find us; you'll just make it more time consuming for
me to find you afterward." I'd expected it to upset her, but when she answered, instead of
petulance, I only heard confidence. "That's because Alice didn't factor in Seth Clearwater.
If she had, of course, she wouldn't have been able to see anything at all. But it sounds like
Seth wants to be there as much as I do. It shouldn't be too hard to persuade him to show me
the way."

Why did I have to be in love with the most aggravating woman on the face of the Earth?
We were arguing over whether or not she should be allowed to offer herself up to a bunch
of ravenous vampires. This shouldn't even be a conversation.

"That might have worked... if you hadn't told me. Now I'll just ask Sam to give Seth certain
orders. Much as he might want to, Seth won't be able to ignore that kind of injunction."

She didn't miss a beat. "But why would Sam give those orders? If I tell him how it would
help for me to be there? I'll bet Sam would rather do me a favor than you."

I fought back a snarl. Yes, I'm sure the wolves would be all too willing to let Bella "help,"
if it allowed them to rack up the vampire death count more quickly. All the wolves except
one, that is. And, though he wasn't exactly stepping up to his position, I knew Jacob had
every right to make such a command.

"Maybe you're right," I admitted. "But I'm sure Jacob would be only too eager to give those
same orders."

Confusion flickered across Bella's face. "Jacob?"

Considering his natural arrogance, it had never occurred to me that he'd kept his birthright,
and all that it entailed, a secret. Even if he wasn't leading the pack as their Alpha, what
point was there in hiding who he was from Bella?

"Jacob is second in command. Did he never tell you that? His orders have to be followed,
too."
I watched as Bella's eyes pulled together, struggling to think of anything else she might be
missing, but she knew that Jacob would be every bit as eager as I was to keep her safe. It
was two against one, and there was nothing else she could say. I could see she was upset,
utterly defeated, so I quickly tried to change the subject.

"I got a fascinating look into the pack's mind last night," I told her. "It was better than a
soap opera. I had no idea how complex the dynamic is with such a large pack. The pull of
the individual against the plural psyche... Absolutely fascinating."

Bella's scowl didn't budge. I still couldn't wrap my mind around someone being so upset
that they were not being allowed to risk their life.

"Jacob's been keeping a lot of secrets," I continued, trying a different approach. "For
instance, did you note the smaller gray wolf there last night." Bella nodded, though she was
obviously still set on giving me the silent treatment. I laughed a little, knowing she wouldn't
be able to resist the next piece of gossip.

"They take all of their legends so seriously. It turns out there are things that none of their
stories prepared them for."

Bella considered this for a moment, then let out a deep sigh. "Okay, I'll bite. What are you
talking about?"

"They always accepted without question that it was only the direct grandsons of the original
wolf who had the power to transform."

"So someone changed who wasn't a direct descendant?"

"No. She's a direct descendant, all right," I said, unable to hold back a smile. It had been
fairly clear to me, just in the short time I'd spent listening to the pack, that they were all still
somewhat irritated that a female had joined them. It wasn't sexist, it was simply a matter of
having to accept something none of them had even considered. They felt foolish for never
having thought of it, and wondered if there were other surprises in store for them as the
pack continued to grow.
I watched as understanding flickered across Bella's face, then her eyes grew wide. "She?"

I nodded. "She knows you. Her name is Leah Clearwater."

"Leah's a werewolf?" she gasped. "What? For how long? Why didn't Jacob tell me?"

"There are things he wasn't allowed to share – their numbers, for instance. Like I said
before, when Sam gives an order, the pack simply isn't able to ignore it. Jacob was very
careful to think of other things when he was near me. Of course, after last night that's all
out the window."

None of the wolves had been thrilled about my ability to listen in on their thoughts. None
except Sam, who was just happy that no one had to appear in their human form to translate.
He was a true leader, and I had to admit I admired his ability to put that pack's best interests
first, even if it meant putting them in a situation they were uncomfortable with.

I smiled at Bella, happy to see her mind was focused on something other than the fight, at
least for the moment. It was surprisingly enjoyable, being able to talk about the wolves with
her. I'd spent so much time and energy trying to keep her away from them, yet now that we
were all being asked to trust each other to fight a common enemy, I was finding learning
about them more interesting than I could have imagined.

"I can't believe it," Bella finally said, shaking her head. "Leah Clearwater!"

Bella's eyes glazed over and she appeared lost in thought. I wanted to ask what was
troubling her, but I was afraid it would bring us right back to the subject before. After
several moments, however, she breathed, "Poor Leah."

I wasn't surprised that Bella knew something of Leah's story, and how losing Sam had
devastated her. While I did commiserate with her to an extent, it was difficult to feel sorry
for Leah after hearing how antagonistic she'd been with the rest of the pack. A broken heart
didn't justify making everyone else miserable. It was the reason I'd fled the company of my
family after leaving Bella. It didn't feel right to make them suffer simply because I was
suffering.
"She's making life exceedingly unpleasant for the rest of them," I told Bella. "I'm not sure
she deserves your sympathy."

"What do you mean?"

"It's hard enough for them, having to share all their thoughts. Most of them try to cooperate,
make it easier. When even one member is deliberately malicious, it's painful for everyone."

"She has reason enough," Bella argued quietly, and it occurred to me by the blush that
suddenly colored her cheeks that she probably wondered if she was sharing classified
information.

"Oh, I know," I told her. She needed to understand that the wolves really weren't able to
keep secrets any longer, not with them opening their minds to me all at the same time. Even
if they tried to hide something, inevitably, one of them would let it slip. I'd heard more than
they'd ever wanted to share, more than I could have possibly imagined.

I knew, even without hearing Leah think directly about it, the way she'd been torn apart by
Sam's imprint with Emily. Even in the way she looked at him, or rather didn't look at him,
it was easy to see the pain would never go away. It would have been easy to be angry with
Sam, to hate him for having hurt someone he supposedly loved, but I'd also seen the world
through his eyes. And his eyes saw no one but Emily.

Even when he was with the pack, even when he'd been training with my family, a part of
his mind was always on Emily. She was like an ever present echo in his mind, whispering
reminders that even when they weren't at each others side, they were together. It had been
almost painful at times, reminding me so much of how I love Bella, and how nothing had
silenced my longing for her when we'd been apart. Sam and Emily's love was unstoppable,
inevitable – like fate had designed them specifically for each other.

"The imprinting compulsion is one of the strangest things I've ever witnessed in my life,
and I've seen some strange things," I explained to Bella. "The way Sam is tied to his Emily
is impossible to describe – or I should say her Sam. Sam really had no choice. It reminds
me of A Midsummer Night's Dream with all the chaos caused by the fairies' love spells...
like magic."

Shakespeare had written of the madness that love can cause. I'd witnessed the devastation it
had brought to a pack who wanted nothing more than to have a unified mind. I'd felt the
kind of pain that only loss of one's true love can bring. Love could be the most destructive
forces in existence, yet all of us – whether human, vampire, or werewolf – clung to it
violently. I felt myself smile, realizing that although love manifests itself differently
throughout all our species, it also proves that there's at least one thread we all have in
common.

"It's very nearly as strong as the way I feel about you," I added with a grin. I'd expected
Bella to smile back at me, but she was still lost in thought.

"Poor Leah," she whispered again. Then her brow pulled together and she asked, "But what
do you mean, malicious?"

"She's constantly bringing up things they'd rather not think of. For example, Embry."

"What's with Embry?"

Ridiculously, I felt a twinge of excitement, like we were two children sharing secrets. It
wasn't something I was accustomed to experiencing, or particularly proud of, but I was
having fun.

"His mother moved down from the Makah reservation seventeen years ago, when she was
pregnant with him. She's not Quileute. Everyone assumed she'd left his father behind with
the Makahs. But then he joined the pack."

"So?"

"So the prime candidates for his father are Quil Ateara Sr., Joshua Uley, or Billy Black, all
of them married at that point, of course."
"No!" she gasped, and I stifled a laugh. We were behaving exactlylike children, and I
couldn't make myself feel guilty for it.

"Now Sam, Jacob, and Quil all wonder which of them has a half-brother. They'd all like to
think it's Sam, since his father was never much of a father. But the doubt is always there.
Jacob's never been able to ask Billy about that."

"Wow. How did you get so much in one night?"

Strangely enough, I wasn't exactly sure of that myself. There were some things, such as
Leah's bitter thoughts meant only to hurt, that were clear and difficult to ignore. There had
been other things as well, though, thoughts left unformed, that I had understood the
meaning of. In many ways, it was similar to much how I'd learned to read Charlie's mind –
hearing the tenor of his thoughts rather than distinct words. Even when listening to ordinary
people, often humans aren't thinking clearly, and listening to the emotions behind the words
sometimes provides an even clearer picture. That knowledge allowed me to get a deeper
understanding of the pack mind than the wolves would have wanted me to, I'm sure.

"The pack mind is mesmerizing," I told Bella, unable to fully explain how interesting it had
been. "All thinking together and then separately at the same time. There's so much to read!"

Her answering laugh was so carefree, I wasn't expecting what she said next. "The pack is
fascinating. Almost as fascinating as you are when you're trying to distract me."

I tried to keep my expression smooth, but I knew what was coming, and I still had no idea
how to appease her.

"I have to be in that clearing, Edward," she said, her eyes pleading and making me hate
myself. I'd brought this on her, just like everything else. I wanted to give her everything,
always wanted to give her everything – but not if it meant putting her in danger.

"No," I said firmly.

Then, the strangest look came into Bella's eyes. I only saw it for the briefest of moments
before her gaze darted away from me. When she spoke, her voice was trembling.

"Okay, look, Edward. Here's the thing... I've already gone crazy once. I know what my
limits are. And I can't stand it if you leave me again," she said, frightened. It was far worse
than her usual stubbornness, and I found myself instantly wracked with guilt.

It wasn't often that Bella was honest with me about how terrible it had been for her when I'd
so foolishly left Forks. Usually, we both avoided talking about it completely, but the times
we did mention it, Bella wore a mask of calm acceptance. I knew she didn't want me to see
how, during that time, she'd missed so much. She didn't listen to music or read books, she
remained distant been from her friends and from Charlie. She spoke of my time away
almost as if it was simply part of our history, and since I'd come back and we were together
now, no harm done. I might have been able to believe her – if it wasn't for Jacob.

He'd showed me time and again what Bella had looked like. He replayed the scene of Sam
carrying her lifeless body from the woods again and again. Through his mind, I'd seen the
dark circles under her eyes, heard her voice shake and her heart nearly stop at even the
mention of me or my family. I knew what life had been for her, though she rarely spoke the
words, so it was a shock to me that actually hearing her talk about it caused me such
inexplicable physical pain.

I think I'd opened my mouth to say something to her, but before the words had formed, she
was in my arms. I didn't even realize I had moved. My hands were running up and down
her arms, touching her cheeks, brushing through her hair. I had to make her understand that
this was different, that I was coming back. There was nothing in the universe strong enough
to take me away from her again. Not after what I'd done. Not after having promised her
forever.

"You know it's not like that, Bella," I pleaded. "I won't be far, and it will be over quickly."

"I can't stand it," she repeated, her voice strained and miserable. "Not knowing whether or
not you'll come back. How do I live through that, no matter how quickly it's over?"
How could I ask such a thing? The only reason I was willing to let her out of my sight was
because I knew she was going to be safe. All I could think to do was to try to make that
same promise to her regarding my safety, though I doubted anything I could say would
make her believe. "It's going to be easy, Bella. There's no reason for your fears."

"None at all?" she asked, her eyes still not meeting mine.

"None."

"And everybody will be fine?"

"Everyone," I assured her. It seemed for a moment like she might believe me, but
something in the back of my mind reminded me that it couldn't possibly be that easy. All I
was doing was saying the same words I'd said since the wolves had decided to help us.

"So there's no way at all that I need to be in the clearing?" she asked.

"Of course not," I promised. She had to know, though, that no amount of danger to my own
safety or my family's could make me wish her there, and I wondered for a split second what
she was really asking. "Alice just told me that there's down to nineteen. We'll be able to
handle it easily."

"That's right – you said it was so easy that someone could sit out. Did you really mean
that?"

"Yes." There was a short pause, an intake of breath, and then it all made sense.

"So easy that you could sit out?"

She still wasn't looking at me, but at least now I understood why. On one hand, it was a
terrible thing she was asking of me, and I had no doubt at all that she knew it. No matter
how easy the fight might or might not be, it was in our best interest to keep the numbers on
our side. For a moment, I pictured Carlisle on the sidelines, keeping himself away from the
bloodshed because he couldn't bare to take a life, not even the life of a bloodthirsty vampire
bent on our destruction. If anyone should the stay behind, it should be Carlisle, yet he
hadn't for a moment thought of leaving his family when they needed him most.

On the other hand, I understood what Bella was asking for, because no sooner had I
pictured Carlisle sitting out, than I imagined Esme fighting without him. Even if we told
Carlisle to stay, to hold onto his morals and his determination to protect every life, he
wouldn't be able to stand not knowing whether his beloved would return to him. He would
be wherever she was, no matter the cost.

Bella's gaze finally lifted to meet mine, and there was a mixture of guilt, fear, and
determination in her stare. "So it's one way or the other," she said, her voice steadier than it
had been before. She knew this conversation changed everything. "Either there is more
danger than you want me to know about, in which case it would be right for me to be there,
to do what I can to help. Or... it's going to be so easy that they'll get by without you. Which
way is it?"

I watched her closely, wondering how well she'd thought this through. Obviously, she was
letting her fear get the best of her – fear of losing me, fear of feeling that emptiness again –
but had she considered any other type of loss? She loved my family – Alice was like a
sister, Carlisle and Esme like loving parents. Now, with the wolves involved as well, there
were, in essence, two sets of family and friends in danger. Was she really willing to put my
safety above all of theirs?

"You ask me to let them fight without my help?" I asked, saying the words softly, carefully.

"Yes." I was startled by how sure she sounded. "Or to let me be there. Either way, so long
as we're together."

In her mind, it was as simple as that. All she needed was for us to be together. There was no
regard for her own safety. She would gladly risk her life to help save us all, but if I wouldn't
allow it, then she was at least going to guarantee mine. I took her face in my hands, felt her
warm cheeks under my touch, and stared into the eyes of the woman I loved. It was
agonizing as I realized, yet again, that I had never and would never deserve her absolute
and unyielding love for me.

I wasn't angry with her, I could never be angry for her needing me. I needed her just as
completely as she needed me. Even though she'd been quick to answer my question, I could
tell by the look in her eyes that she felt nothing but guilt over having asked me to leave my
family behind. I wondered for a moment, if they would understand when I asked them to
fight without me, whether they would hold it against Bella. Instantly, I felt a stab of pain as
I realized the answer. No, they wouldn't hold it against her – not unless someone didn't
survive the fight.

I'd tried to keep my face smooth and relaxed, to not betray anything to Bella that would
cause her to feel more guilt, but the thought of any one of my family members losing their
mate contorted my expression. I tried to hide the agony I felt, but I could picture far too
clearly what it would do to any one of them if someone were lost. They would never
forgive me, or Bella, if a life was lost that might not have been had I been there to help
defend them. Our family would never be the same. I would never be the same.

I forced the dark thoughts out of my mind, and decided the only thing I could do was to
speak to my family, specifically Jasper. I might be able to understand what Bella was
asking, but thinking about the possible consequences for everyone else had made me
realize, this wasn't a decision I could make alone. While I could ask each of them
individually, the easiest way to know whether or not they were really okay with me sitting
out would be to discuss it with Jasper. They could lie to me, they could even try to lie with
their thoughts, but there was no way for them to lie with their emotions. Jasper would know
if, after having suggested I stay behind, the mood changes – if doubts start to creep in,
nervousness, hesitation.

Bella still hadn't moved, and I wondered what she'd read in my expression. I sighed, not
exactly looking forward the conversation I was about to have with my family, then reached
for my phone.

"Alice. Could you come babysit Bella for a bit? I need to speak with Jasper."
"Of course. I saw it the moment she started thinking about it. It was rather hard to ignore,
actually. I'm not going to lie to you and say that it doesn't changea lot of things, but I really
don't see any problems arising. At least, as far as I can see with those mangy mutts still
involved. I'll be right over, and I'll tell Jasper you're on your way."

"What are you going to say to Jasper?" Bella asked sheepishly when I hung up.

"I'm going to discuss... me sitting out."

"I'm sorry." Her eyes were filling with tears, though I could hear the relief in her voice.

"Don't apologize," I said, smiling as I remembered that all she was asking was simply a
product of her love for me. She'd been honest with me, and it had only proved her love
further. "Never be afraid to tell me how you feel, Bella. If this is what you need... " I
shrugged, trying to seem indifferent, though her vulnerability was tugging at every emotion
inside of me. "You are my first priority."

"I didn't mean it that way – like you have to choose me over your family."

"I know that," I promised. I hadn't meant to make her feel more guilty. "Besides, that' not
what you asked. You gave me two alternatives that you could live with, and I chose the one
that I could live with. That's how compromise is supposed to work."

Like the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders, she learned forward until
her head was pressed against my chest. "Thank you," she breathed.

"Anytime," I told her as I kissed the top of her head. "Anything."

We sat in peaceful silence for several minutes, all thoughts of the fight momentarily
disappearing. There was Bella and there was me. The rest of the world could wait.
Unfortunately, my own mind couldn't be silenced for long. I knew Alice would arrive
shortly, and there was at least one question I wanted answered before Bella and I parted
ways.
"Who's the third wife?" I asked.

"Huh?"

"You were mumbling something about 'the third wife' last night. The rest made a little
sense, but you lost me there."

"Oh. Um, yeah." I could feel her face flush, the warmth radiating against my cool skin.
"That was just one of the stories that I heard at the bonfire the other night. I guess it stuck
with me."

It seemed I'd been right about her muttering random Quileute words, but I still didn't know
what about this particular story had upset her enough to cause her such agitation at my
mentioning it. I was going to inquire further, but I could hear Alice outside.

I thought you were going to make Bella see there's nothing to worry about, not let her
scare you into staying home.

I turned toward Alice and rolled my eyes, though I did hope that, all joking aside, she
understood my decision.

"You're going to miss all the fun," she said sourly.

"Hello, Alice." I turned back to Bella, kissing her gently before I stood to leave. "I'll be
back later tonight. I'll go work this out with the others, rearrange things."

"Okay," Bella said, sulking slightly.

Oh, for goodness sake, Alice thought, grumbling. You'd think Bella could stand spending
one evening with her sister instead of her boyfriend.

I laughed under my breath. It would be nice if I had a title slightly more significant
sounding than "boyfriend," but I did love that Alice always called herself Bella's sister. At
least in her mind.
"There's not much to arrange," Alice said politely. "I already told them. Emmett is pleased."

"Of course he is." I was quickly bombarded with images of him taking on several newborns
at once. It was something he hadn't counted on having to do, but with our numbers
presumably down by one, he was hoping he'd get the chance to show off a bit.

This won't take long, Edward. None of them are as upset about this as you clearly are.

I smiled as I left, feeling much better about asking, now that I basically knew they were
already on board. Alice did have a way of working magic. I'd barely stepped through the
door when Emmett was at my side.

"Decided to let me have a little extra fun, did ya?" he said, throwing an arm around my
shoulder.

"Don't get too excited. From what Alice tells me, there might not be enough of them left by
the time they get here for you to have much fun at all." I tried to infuse my voice with the
same amount of enthusiasm as Emmett had, but the truth was, this was still difficult for me.
I'd never even considered leaving my family's side, and even if they all gave me their
blessing, it was difficult to imagine not being there.

"Aw, don't tell me that. I'm all ready to get this party started!"

Just then, Carlisle appeared at the bottom of the stairs. His mind was already filled with
grief at the bloodshed he knew was now only two days away.

Edward, can we speak for a moment?

"Em, I need to get going. I have to talk with Carlisle and Jasper about what changes this is
going to mean for everyone."

"All right, you guys have fun talking. Meanwhile, I'm going to be warming up!" With that,
he was off running laps around the forest.

"Are you okay with this, Edward?" Carlisle asked when we were alone.
"Only if everyone else is." I hated that it was only partially true. Bella had made it clear that
she needed me to stay, and if my family objected, I honestly didn't know what I would do.

"Our family is understanding. As you've already seen, Emmett is ecstatic." It was obvious
he was holding back the disgust in his voice. "Rosalie is, well, Rosalie. I assume you don't
particularly care what her opinion is, though I'm sure you'll hear plenty about it. Jasper
doesn't believe we have anything to worry about. 'Numbers aren't as important as tactics,'
was how he put it. Alice thinks Bella is being ridiculous, but she also doesn't want her
trying to find her way into the clearing during the fight, so she'd rather you stay with her to
ensure she doesn't do something foolish."

"And what about you?"

I wish I could remain here with you, but my family's needs come first.

I felt a stab of pain that Carlisle couldn't say the words aloud, and could feel how difficult it
was for him to even think them. He wanted nothing more than what I was taking for
myself.

"Do you think this means I'm not putting my family's needs first?" I asked.

"You are putting Bella's needs first, and she is your family. Please, remember that. Also
remember that right now, she is the weakest of us. That will not be the case forever, but
until you're ready to give her that strength, she is the one who needs the most protection.
The rest of us will be fine."

"Thank you."

"I'm happy if I've helped put your mind at ease. Now, I assume you'd still like to speak with
Jasper, though I can tell you we've already discussed how this has effected us strategically."

"Yes, I would. Thank you again."

"Of course. Whatever you need, Edward."

I found Jasper outside, leading a private training session with Rosalie. In a lot of ways, she
was the least skilled for combat, having no special abilities to use to her advantage, and
having never been in a real fight before. She wasn't worried, but Emmett had insisted Jasper
spend some extra time with her.

"Always keep your eyes moving," he instructed her. "They're not going to sneak up on you,
so as long as you're paying attention, they won't catch you off guard."

"I don't really see the need for all this training. You know Emmett's never going to let
anything close enough to me to do any harm."

Jasper laughed. "That may be true, but he's going to pummel me if I don't get you as
prepared as possible." I joined in Jasper's laughter, and they both turned toward me.

"Well, look who it is. The betrothed of the girl who started all this mayhem to begin with.
Still planning on letting your family do all the dirty work while you babysit?

Don't listen to her, Edward. We're fine.

"What's the matter, Rose? Afraid Emmett will be too busy killing all those extra vampires,
and you might actually have to get your hands dirty?"

I tried to ignore the stream of profanity that came next as I walked to Jasper's side. "She's
really upset," I said as she stormed away.

"What's new? Don't tell me you're going to let Rose start getting to you now."

"It isn't Rose that's the problem," I admitted.

"Like I said, we're fine."

"You must know what I want to ask you."

"You want to know if any of them are more worried now that we're down one fighter?"
"I have to know."

"Why?"

"Because if everyone is suddenly nervous, it means more mistakes. More mistakes means
more chance of someone getting hurt."

"Can you answer me this – would it make any difference?"

I paused a moment, wishing my answer were different, but I finally sighed. "No."

"Then why do you want to know?"

"It'll keep me sane, that's why! Do you think this is easy for me? Staying behind while my
family fights to protect my wife!" The word was out before I could stop it, and a moment
later, Jasper broke into a fit of laughter.

"Yeah, how's that going?" he finally sputtered. Although I wasn't thrilled with what he was
laughing at, it was nice to have the tense mood lifted.

"I've been a little busy," I said sarcastically.

"You know, you're lucky she didn't just have Carlisle change her as soon as she figured out
what was happening with this army. Alice certainly saw it as a very distinct possibility. She
thought about it a lot."

"I know."

"And you know the second this fight is over, she's going to demand it."

"I know."

"So, have you given up on changing her yourself?"

"No, of course not."

"Then what are you waiting for? You already have the ring." I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Alice thinks it's very sweet that you're giving her your mother's ring."

"I don't exactly have a choice. She won't let me buy her anything new."

"You're not answering my question. What are you waiting for?"

I took a deep breath. It was hard to admit it to anyone, even Jasper. "I don't want her to say
no. Again." I shrugged. "You wouldn't understand."

"Probably not. One of the first things Alice said to me after we moved in with you guys
was, 'We're getting married next month. Don't worry, I started planning our wedding after I
had that first vision of you, so we're all set.'"

We both smiled as we thought about their wedding. Alice was stunning, as usual, but there
was a simplicity to the day that only served to make it that much more spectacular. I
couldn't help but think about what Bella would look like in her wedding gown. I also
couldn't help but see one aspect of that day with absolute certainty. I wanted Bella to be
human when she promised herself to me for eternity. Somehow, I could feel that it would
make all the difference. Of course there was no way to know for sure that this life was what
she wanted, but if Bella had sworn to be mine forever, I could change her without guilt
because I would know that I was what she wanted forever.

"From the drastic change in your mood, I'm confident you're not thinking about the fight
anymore," Jasper said. I laughed under my breath and shook my head at him. "Which is
good, since you have absolutely nothing to worry about. The rest of them aren't worried,
either, by the way. Not that it matters," he added, teasing.

"Thank you."

"Any time. Now, I think we've chatted long enough for Alice to have charmed Charlie into
getting exactly what she wanted."

"What exactly is that?"

"Oh, she's just clearing Bella's schedule for the next couple of days. Didn't you hear? Those
of us not chickening out of the fight are going hunting," he smirked.

"And Bella is going to be... ?"

"Shopping, of course. At least as far as Charlie's concerned. Now, if you don't actually want
to take Bella shopping, I think she'll be able to handle the disappointment. Especially if it
means you two get to spend some quality time together. Talking. About, you know,
whatever."

It was obvious Jasper was not-so-subtly hinting that now might be the time for a proper
proposal, but there was also something else coloring his tone. Something that he was
finding particularly amusing. I knew his taunting voice well enough to realize he wasn't
going to tell me anything, so I tried to listen to his mind, but he was already reciting Welsh
poetry and singing the alphabet backwards.

"Nice," I muttered, and he doubled over laughing as I turned and ran back toward Bella's.

As soon as I stepped onto the porch, I heard Alice and Charlie chatting conversationally.
He was asking her about her college plans, and whether or not she was going to stay in the
area. Then they talked about where she and Bella would be shopping over the weekend, and
he asked if they needed any money. It never ceased to amaze me the way Alice seemed to
have Charlie wrapped around her finger. And Bella thought I dazzled people.

"Knock, knock," I said, and Charlie muttered something that sounded like, "come in, I
guess." He looked back and forth between Alice and I several times before finally wishing
me a good time on my trip.

"Thank you, Charlie. It will be nice to unwind after the long school year."

"Your lovely sister here was just telling me how she's going to be keeping my Bella
company while you all are away."
"Yes, it's hard to keep Alice away from her girl time. Especially if the alternative is just to
hang out with her boring family," I teased. Alice stuck out her tongue at me and we all
laughed. "Speaking of us boring Cullens, we really should be going. We're leaving very
early in the morning," I added.

"Well, don't let me keep you," Charlie said, happy as always to get rid of me.

I walked outside with Alice, who smiled impishly up at me.

"What's gotten into you? And Jasper, for that matter?"

"I just think you two are going to have a wonderful time together tomorrow, that's all."

"Alice?"

"Good night!" she chirped, taking off at lightning speed. I sighed, and ran around the side
of the house to Bella's window. I waited for her on her bed, once again wishing I could talk
her out of coming to the training session tonight. There really was no need for her to be
there, especially since I was no longer preparing to fight. Of course, I had to remind myself
that there were others she cared about who would be fighting.

The moment Bella stepped into her room, she asked, "What time are we meeting with the
wolves?"

She sat down beside me, purposely stopping herself from laying down. Even though she'd
slept most of the day, I had a feeling she was still tired enough to fall asleep if she laid
down.

"In an hour," I told her.

"That's good. Jake and his friends need to get some sleep."

"They don't need as much as you do."

"Did Alice tell you that she's kidnapping me?" she asked, ignoring the implication that she
should stay and rest.

I couldn't hold back my smile. Alice had been so good, she'd even fooled Bella. "Actually,
she's not," I said, grinning. She stared at me, confused, and I laughed at her blank
expression. "I'm the only one who has permission to hold you hostage, remember? Alice is
going hunting with the rest of them. I guess I don't need to do that now."

"You're kidnapping me?" she asked, and I nodded. I'd expected some enthusiasm, hoped
she would be excited about finally getting to spend some time together. Stress-free, and
alone.

"Is that all right?" I asked, when she didn't respond.

"Well... sure, except for one thing."

"What thing?" I asked nervously. Had I been presumptuous, assuming she would want to
spend a night alone in my house? Perhaps it made her feel more comfortable, having
Charlie in the next room all these nights. Maybe the idea of being truly alone actually
frightened her, though I thought I'd made it clear long ago that her blood no longer tempted
me beyond what I could handle. I was about to ask if she'd rather stay at home, when she
grinned at me.

"Why didn't Alice tell Charlie you were leaving tonight?"

I smiled and pulled her close to me, wrapping my arms tightly around her and kissing the
back of her neck. She shivered, giggling as my cool breath tickled her. We stayed like that
for nearly an hour, laughing softly, and me showering her with frozen kisses. Everything
about her was more relaxed now that she knew I was going to be safe. It almost made me
forget about the fight altogether, but as the moon shone brightly through her window, Bella
muttered, "Don't we have to get going?"

I sighed, selfishly wishing we could stay like this all night. A moment later, though, my
responsibilities kicked back in. Even though I wasn't training anymore, the wolves still
needed me to translate. I swiftly pulled Bella onto my back, happy that even the way she
held me as we ran felt more carefree. When we reached the clearing, I could tell that Jasper
hadn't been exaggerating. I could hear nothing but confidence from my family.

Bella took in the scene in front of her, the easy way my family was talking and practicing.
It didn't take her long to realize that there were significantly fewer eyes watching tonight's
training session.

"Where are the rest of the wolves?" she asked.

"They don't all need to be here. One would do the job, but Sam didn't trust us enough to just
send Jacob, though Jacob was willing. Quil and Embry are his usual... I guess you could
call them his wingmen."

"Jacob trusts you." It wasn't a question. She knew it was true, and I could tell it made her
happy. She was always trying to get the two of us to get along. As if there was some magic
key to all three of us being able to coexist, though we both loved her, and only one of us
was fortunate enough to have her.

"He trusts us not to kill him," I told her. "That's about it, though."

"Are you participating tonight?" she asked, her eyes not quite meeting mine She was still
feeling guilty, so I tried my best to reassure her.

"I'll help Jasper when he needs it. He wants to try some unequal groupings, teach them how
to deal with multiple attackers."

I heard her breath catch, and I wished I hadn't said it. Our numbers were still good, even
without me, though the chance that someone would, at some point, be fighting off more
than one newborn at once was likely. Emmett was counting on it. A moment later, Jacob
spotted us, and he wasted no time bounding to Bella's side. Like a puppy. A ridiculous,
extraordinarily large and rancid smelling puppy.

"Jacob," I said, my voice pleasant.

Sure. Ignoring me, Jacob appraised Bella's expression, then tilted his head to one side in
question. What's wrong, beautiful? he thought, and it bothered me more than it probably
should have that he wasn't even thinking about me standing beside him, listening.

"I'm fine," Bella said. "Just worried, you know."

That's really stupid. What is there to be worried about?

I rolled my eyes. "He wants to know why," I told Bella.

Nice translation. Care to rephrase anything else for me?

"What?" Bella asked, when Jacob growled.

"He thinks my translations leave something to be desires. What he actually thought was,
'That's really stupid. What is there to be worried about?' I edited, because I thought it was
rude."

And I think your inability to keep your opinions to yourself is rude.

"There's plenty to be worried about," Bella said, staring intently at Jacob. "Like a bunch of
really stupid wolves getting themselves hurt."

Hurt? he thought, barking a laugh. This is what we were made for.

Hey, Edward, I heard Jasper call to me from across the field. If you're finished playing with
the dog, I could really use a hand over here. I want you and Emmett to come at me from
opposite sides so we can show everyone what to do, and more importantly, what not to do.

"Jasper wants help," I said directly to Bella, ignoring Jacob as much as possible. "You'll be
okay without a translator?"

"I'll manage."
Yeah, bloodsucker, she'll do just fine. In fact, I think she understands me better when you're
not here to add your special commentary.

Bella was still staring at Jacob, her eyes worried, though not as worried as she'd been
looking at me the previous night. At least, that's what I was trying to convince myself of as
I left the two of them there. I was trying not to watch them, attempting to give all my
attention to Jasper, but after the third time I was pinned to the ground, I heard Rose mutter,
"Good thing he's sitting out tomorrow."

I shut my eyes, and left the rest of my family to train without me. I still wasn't sure that
they were better off without me, but the choice had already been made. And at the moment,
the only thing on my mind was getting Bella away from Jacob, and focusing on our
upcoming night together. Alone. In my room.

With my mother's ring tucked carefully away in the bedside table.

 Compromise

Our final training session had ended hours ago, and Bella was in her bed, finally sleeping soundly.
It had taken nearly two hours for her sleep talking to stop. The sun was up by the time she slipped
into a dreamless sleep, and she spent the majority of the morning in bed. When she was coherent,
Bella informed me that she had several things to take care of before joining me for our evening
together. I was eager to get her back to my house and enjoy us being trulyalone – as opposed to
alone, except for a sleeping Charlie one room away – but I waited patiently while Bella gave away
concert tickets to her friends, packed Charlie a lunch for his fishing trip, did three loads of laundry,
and ate dinner slower than I'd ever seen her eat. It almost felt like she was nervous about something,
though she'd made it clear the night before than she was looking forward to spending the night at
my house.

"My family will be leaving soon. I should probably check in before they go," I told her. I did want
to speak with Alice one last time, to make sure there wasn't any new information, but more than
anything, I felt the need to give Bella some alone time. There was something different about her
nervousness, something that made me think it wasn't just concern over the upcoming battle, and I
hoped that having some time to think it through without my hovering over her would help.

When I reached my house, all the lights were off except for one, and it was quieter than I'd
expected. Had everyone left already? I entered the silent house and ran up the stairs to my room,
quickly making sure everything was ready for Bella's visit. My eyes were drifting back and forth
between the large bed that was rendered useless when Bella wasn't there, and the nightstand which
held the ring I so desperately wanted to place on her finger. My thoughts were so far away, I didn't
realize Alice was standing behind me until I heard her sigh.

You have absolutely nothing to worry about.

I looked up to see her arching one eyebrow at me, and wondered if there had been more to the
conversation that I'd missed. "I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

I wasn't saying anything, she teased.

"I thought everyone had left."

Everyone did, and I was already a few miles away when I started seeing you pacing around like
you were worried something bad was going to happen. So, I came back to check on you, and here
you are, looking worried. Can you please at least try to enjoy your evening with Bella? It wasn't
easy getting Charlie to agree to let her come over.

I cast her a disbelieving stare.

Fine, she admitted, smiling angelically. Maybe it was easy. But considering I didn't even get a
"thank you" from you for arranging everything, I think the least you can do is promise you won't
waste your time with Bella worrying over stupid things.

She paused, her mind wandering and jumping so quickly, I couldn't focus on anything specific.
Then, her expression changed and she spoke aloud. "You two really need this. Bella's been a mess
lately."

I wanted to argue with her, but I knew she was right. Although Bella seemed to have relaxed around
me after my agreeing to stay out of the fight, I knew there was plenty left on her mind. She was
worried about my family, worried about the wolves, and no amount of assurance on my part or the
part of my family seemed to make any difference.

"What else am I supposed to do, Alice? I hate to see her like this, but I've already done all I can do.
I'm staying behind so she doesn't have to worry about my safety, but you know as well as I do that
her concern for me is only part of what's bothering her. Unless that mongrel decides to stay behind
as well, I don't think she'll be content until after the fight is over."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Even then," she muttered, and I wondered what she was seeing – seeing and
hiding.

"So, what do you suggest?" I asked.

She smiled again, her mind flashing through images that had once terrified me, but now felt almost
comforting in their inevitability. Bella, pale and cold, yet smiling – a member of my family,
standing beside us, strong and wonderful. The two of us holding hands, white on white, finally
belonging to the same world. Bella's lips hard against mine, together without fear or hesitation. It
was one of the more alluring of Alice's visions, and one that I was only now starting to admit had
been a source of temptation, urging me to give in to Bella's request against my better judgment.

"Well, what I meant was, what do you suggest I do to ease Bella's mind about the fight. But I
appreciate the sentiment," I added, joining in her grin. "Don't suppose you've seen anything about a
wedding that you're not sharing with me?"

"I've always been able to see Bella in her wedding dress, but that's because I've already picked it out
for her. It won't be a true vision of the future, however, until she decides she's ready for that step."

"Very helpful, Alice."

"Oh, I know. Now, you'd better make sure you're ready for our house guest. Bella's packing right
now, incredibly slowly, I might add, and she should be ready – " she closed her eyes for a moment,
"in twenty-three minutes."

"I think everything's set. There's plenty of food in the kitchen, her bed is made, I believe the house
is at a comfortable temperature."

"Yes, the house is perfect. But are you ready?" For a split second, I saw Bella sitting on the bed,
looking up at me expectantly. There was a longing in her eyes, though I couldn't think of anything
she would want that I'd be unwilling to give her.

The only think I'd refused her was that I be the one to change her myself, and technically, I wasn't
refusing so much as agreeing, conditionally. And truth be told, even if she never said yes to my
proposal, when that day came and Carlisle stepped up to fulfill his promise to change her, if she still
wanted it to be me, I couldn't imagine telling her no. Anything and everything I have to give, I'd
give to Bella, whether she decided to be my wife or not.

"Alice, I know you don't like to share things that you think could alter the future – "

"Which is why I've gotten very good at singing all my favorite songs backward," she grinned.
"Yes, you're very annoying. What I'm asking, though, is if you've had two conflicting visions – like
how at first you could see me either killing Bella or changing her – then don't you think it's only fair
to let me see both possibilities? You're not guiding the future, you're just – "

"Good-bye, Edward," she chirped, flitting out the door and down the steps before I had time to stop
her.

"Perfect," I muttered. All I'd wanted to know was if I had a shred of hope, if the idea of saying yes
had ever even crossed Bella's mind. It didn't have to be the only future Alice saw, but I'd like to
know it was one of the possible outcomes. I just didn't know how I would have the courage to ask
Bella again – and ask her theright way this time – unless I knew she was at least considering saying
yes.

With one final glance at the room I'd soon be sharing with Bella, I left to go get her. Hating the idea
of Bella coming home – to our home – and finding it dark and uninviting, I turned on every light as
I raced through the house. I sighed as I ran past my car, reminding myself that Bella was, in fact,
drivingme home tonight. It didn't bother me, though. Whatever made Bella more comfortable.
When I got to her house, I saw that her overnight bag was already waiting inside her truck. Alice
had been right, of course. She was ready to go. Bella flung the door open before I'd had time to
knock twice.

"Anxious?" I asked, smiling at the way her cheeks were blushing pink.

"My bag's all packed, and the truck's ready to go," she said, not really answering my question.

"Bella, you're flustered," I told her softly, brushing her hair out of her face. "This was supposed to
be a relaxing evening."

"I'm sorry. I've got a lot on my mind right now. I mean, you know that. You do, too. Of course."
Her blush deepened, and she looked down at the ground, embarrassed.

"Yes, there are a lot of things happening in our lives right now. Which is all the more reason to not
think about them for one night. Everything's taken care of. My family is hunting, getting their
strength up. The wolves are confident. There's nothing for you to worry about." Her eyes met mine,
exasperated, and I knew I was fighting a losing battle. "Okay, you're right. There are plenty of
things that you could worry about. Will it solve anything, though?"

Grumbling, she shook her head. "I guess not." I smiled my most reassuring smile, though she didn't
return it.

"For this one night," I begged, "could we try to forget everything besides just you and me? It seems
like I can never get enough time like that. I need to be with you. Just you." The truth of my words
shocked me, as did the desperation I heard in my own voice. I did need this night, and I realized in
that moment that I needed it every bit as much as Bella. All we'd done for so long was worry about
the newborns. Even the nights we'd spent in each other's arms had been tainted by fear of what was
to come.

It was odd, yet somehow, with the knowledge of the army's approach on the horizon, the fact that
they were closer than they'd ever been before, I could feel that tonight had the ability to bring us
peace. We knew where our enemy was, and when they would be here. There was nothing more we
could do to prepare, so for one night, there was absolutely no point in thinking about them. Fear
could be put aside for the evening, and I had every intention of making the most of it.

I walked Bella to her truck, and she smiled at me as she took her place behind the wheel. Though
she was keeping a smile on her face, I could hear in her frantic heartbeat that nervousness was still
getting the best of her. She drove more slowly than usual, her hands gripping the wheel tightly until
I reminded her to relax. She took a few deep breaths, and I felt the truck slow down even more.
Under normal circumstances, I might have given her a hard time about the pace we were traveling,
but I was determined not to rush anything tonight. There was nowhere we needed to be, nothing that
needed to get done. It was freeing, knowing that nothing but a huge, empty house was waiting for
us. If Bella wanted to take an hour to get there, I wasn't going to complain.

I couldn't help but smile as I realized that soon, Bella would be coming home with me every night.
Once she was part of my family, officially, this would be her home as well. That thought made me
more eager to reach our destination, and I was happy when I could see the lights from my house
shining through the trees. I wasted no time, and the second Bella shut the engine off, I was around
the truck and at her side. I flung her door open, anxious to have her in my arms again.
Her bag on my shoulder, I scooped her up and pressed my lips to hers. I felt her exhilaration as she
kissed me, like she'd just realized there was nothing we needed to think about but each other. Her
fingers threaded into my hair, and I needed her closer. Without thinking, I picked her up and
crushed her to my chest. Her breath caught and for a moment, I thought I'd hurt her, but the next
moment, she was hugging herself even tighter to me.

My love in my arms, I ran toward the house, nearly kicking the door in on my way. She didn't seem
to notice. She was too busy filling every one of my senses, driving me crazy in a way I probably
should have been worried about, but I couldn't make myself feel anything but joy. Bella was in my
arms, in my home, and for the first time, there was no one there except for us. No Alice trying to
sneak in a little "girl time." No Rosalie in the next room, thinking her opinion obnoxiously loudly.
No one listening, and no one to listen to. Over the years, I'd gotten so used to the constant chatter of
everyone's internal monologue, the serene quiet that filled the house only served to make the
moment that much more special. I could hear nothing but the beating of Bella's heart, and the sound
of us breathing together.

I realized after a few minutes, that we were still standing just inside the door. We had the whole
house to ourselves, and we couldn't make it past the entryway. Reluctantly, I started to pull away
from Bella, and she whimpered as my lips parted from hers. I laughed softly at her unwillingness to
end our embrace, even for a second.

"Welcome home," I said, my eyes locking with hers, completely overwhelmed by the emotion those
words evoked in me. I never thought I would share my home with anyone but my family – that I
would always be alone in my very full house.

"That sounds nice," she answered, smiling up at me warmly. I set her down, though everything in
me wanted to carry her up to my room and continue our kiss. There was something I wanted to do
first, though. I was anxious to give her the present she'd already agreed to accept.

"I have something for you," I reminded her.

"Oh?"

"Your hand-me-down, remember? You said that was allowable."

She frowned, her eyes shifting down to the floor. "Oh, that's right. I guess I did say that."

"It's up in my room. Shall I go get it?"

Something flashed in her eyes, and her reluctance about accepting my gift vanished. She twined her
fingers through mine and looked up at me from under her lashes. "Sure. Let's go."

I couldn't place exactly why, but a rush of excitement took over, and I scooped Bella up without
another thought and carried her to my room. After setting her gently down, I went to retrieve the
diamond that was one of the few ties to my past – one of the only ways I could bridge the world I'd
known with the world in which I now lived.

When I'd returned, Bella was standing somewhat shakily, and eying the bed. A moment later, she
appeared to decide something, and went to sit in the very center of the golden comforter. She
looked like she was bracing herself for something terrible. I could only hope that her aversion to
gifts would disappear when she realized that in our family, resources were virtually unlimited.

"Okay," she said, begrudgingly. "Let me have it."

I laughed at her posture, wondering what she was expecting me to give her, then joined her on the
bed. Her heart sped up as she appraised my light expression. "A hand-me-down," I repeated, just in
case she was thinking of going back on her word.

Carefully, I lifted her left arm away from her body, and could feel her pulse beating frantically as I
touched her wrist. My fingers grazed the carved wolf, though its presence wasn't bothering me at
the moment. All I could think about was attaching the diamond to her bracelet, finally being able to
share a piece of my history with Bella, the absolute embodiment of my future.

As I placed Bella's arm back at her side, I watched her eyes meet the reflection of light coming from
the diamond. I almost regretted having given it to her inside – it would have been much more
effective had it been catching the sunlight in our meadow. It was harder than usual to read her
expression, but her quiet intake of breath made a smile tug at my lips.
"It was my mother's," I said, nearly a whisper. I hadn't expected my voice to betray my emotion, so
I quickly added a shrug of indifference. "I inherited quite a few baubles like this. I've given some to
Esme and Alice both. So, clearly, this is not a big deal in any way."

I smiled lightly, though my half-truth felt wrong. I wanted her to know what it meant to me. I
needed her to understand that the things I'd given to my family hadn't had the significance that this
piece did. I could still see my mother's face when I looked into its facets. I could almost, almost,
remember the sound of her voice the day my father had given it to her. Someday, when Bella had
grown more accustomed to accepting the things I gave her, I would tell her the truth. For now,
though, I would be content simply to see Bella wear it.

I'd gotten lost in my memories, and it took me a minute to realize that Bella was watching me. Her
stare was somewhat apologetic, like she knew what it meant and was sorry she was taking away its
significance.

"But I thought it was a good representation," I continued quickly, grinning, so she would know I
was still enjoying myself. "It's hard and cold. And it throws rainbows in the sunlight."

Bella blinked, her eyes scrutinizing first the diamond and then me. "You forgot the most important
similarity," she whispered. "It's beautiful."

"My heart is just as silent. And it, too, is yours."

She lifted her bracelet just enough that it caught the light of one small lamp that was shining from
beside the bed. Her eyes didn't leave it as she said, "Thank you. For both."

"No, thank you," I said, finally letting out the breath I was holding. I hadn't realized how nervous I'd
been that she would refuse it. "It's a relief to have you accept a gift so easily. Good practice for you,
too." I grinned at her, challenging her to argue with me, but instead, she burrowed under my arms
until her head was pressed against my chest. I held her as tightly as I could without worrying about
hurting her. Every muscle in my body ached to hold her closer, crush her to me and never let go.
Soon, I reminded myself. She would only be this fragile for a little while longer. An excitement I'd
only recently started to get used to coursed through my veins at the thought of it.
"Can we discuss something?" she asked softly, bringing me back from where my mind was slowly
wandering – which was probably a very good thing. I still needed to be minding every second with
her, not letting my guard down thinking about the future, when things would be different. "I'd
appreciate it if you could begin by being open-minded," she added.

An unnamed anxiety passed through my thoughts. I thought I'd already given in on everything she'd
claimed I wasn't open-minded about – my aversion to her spending time with the wolves, my
determination to keep her human. "I'll give it my best effort," I said, careful not to make a promise I
couldn't keep.

"I'm not breaking any rules here," she added, already defensive, which didn't help to calm my
nerves. "This is strictly about you and me. So..." She drew out the word, stalling, even though she
was leading the conversation. "I was impressed by how well we were able to compromise the other
night. I was thinking I would like to apply the same principle to a different situation."

She sounded like she was trying to work out a business arrangement. The corner of my mouth
twitched into a smile. "What would you like to negotiate?" She didn't speak right away, but her
heart began racing and her breathing sped up. "Listen to your heart fly," I said softly, struggling to
get her to meet my eyes. "It's fluttering like a hummingbird's wings. Are you all right?"

"I'm great," she answered, far too quickly.

"Please go on then."

"Well, I guess, first, I wanted to talk to you about that whole ridiculous marriage condition thing."

I knew she wasn't thrilled with the idea of marriage, but hearing her call it ridiculous was painful.
"It's only ridiculous to you. What about it?"

"I was wondering... is that open to negotiation?"

"I've already made the largest concession by far and away – I've agreed to take your life away
against my better judgment. And that ought to entitle me to a few compromises on your part."

"No," she said firmly. "That part's a done deal. We're not discussing my... renovations right now. I
want to hammer out some other details."
I wanted to argue with her, but she was right. This discussion wasn't whether or not she was going
to be changed. That had been decided long ago, without my having more than a single, ineffectual
vote in the matter. My marriage condition was only related to me changing her myself – something
we, in actuality, both wanted. I was swiftly reminded of what an idiot I was.

I looked into Bella's eyes again, reminding myself that her transformation was imminent. With that
understanding, I had to ask, "Which details do you mean exactly?"

She paused, her cheeks flushing again. "Let's clarify your prerequisites first."

I already felt foolish for trying to coerce her into marrying me by refusing something that should
have been a given. If Bella was going to enter this life with me, why wouldn't I be the one there
with her when it began? Still, I'd begun it. There was no way I could back out now.

"You know what I want," I said.

"Matrimony," she said, her voice thick with sarcasm. I could have been upset, but at least we were
talking about it. Maybe the stars would align, and she would actually let me explain my reasoning.

"Yes," I said, then decided that if we were doing this, if we were actually trying to work out the
details, as she'd put it, she might as well know about all the things I'd like to give her. With a grin, I
added, "To start with."

"There's more?" she asked, obviously taken aback.

"Well, if you're my wife," I said, loving the sound of the word on my lips, "then what's mine is
yours... like tuition money. So there would be no problem with Dartmouth."

"Anything else?" she asked, cringing. "While you're already being absurd?"

"I wouldn't mind some time."

"No. No time. That's a deal breaker right there."

I let out a defeated sigh, though I hadn't really expected any other response. She'd been very clear
about how important the time frame was to her. While I couldn't imagine it mattering a decade from
now, or a century from now, Bella was insistent that she not be more than the year she already was
older than me. "Just a year or two?" I pressed uselessly.

She shook her head. "Move along to the next one."

"That's it. Unless you'd like to talk cars..." Bella still wasn't smiling, but I couldn't contain my grin
as I realized... we were negotiating. She was hesitant, yes, and completely uncooperative, but we
were negotiating nonetheless. Starting with my marriage proposal. If she was truly considering
saying yes to that, then I couldn't imagine anything I wouldn't give her in return.

I reached out and started idly playing with her hand, turning it over, tracing the inside of her wrist
and making her shiver. I found myself staring at the diamond that was now hanging from her
bracelet, and from there, my eyes drifted to her ring finger – the empty place I was beginning to let
myself imagine wouldn't be empty for long.

"I didn't realize there was anything else you wanted besides being transformed into a monster
yourself. I'm extremely curious." It was hard to hide the fear in my voice, but the weight of the
moment was heavy on me. I felt certain that I would give her anything that was in my power to
give, but was there anything she wanted that I couldn't give?

My mind started to race. The only thing I could think of was that she was having second thoughts
about leaving someone behind. Charlie, perhaps, or her mother. What if she wanted to let them in
on the secret, so that she could someday – when the bloodlust of newborn life had passed – see
them again? We could never risk their safety like that. We'd barely managed to escape the Volturi's
punishment for Bella knowing the truth, and that was only because Alice saw her becoming one of
us. A fresh wave of panic set in. Did she want us to change one of them, so she wouldn't have to say
good-bye? The thought was only fleeting – I knew Bella would never ask for something so selfish.
Still, what else could she possibly be so worried about asking of me?

I hadn't been looking at her as my thoughts had been tormenting me, and when I tried to meet her
eyes, I found that she was looking away as well. The curiosity was stifling. I was about to plead
with her to put me out of my misery, when I noticed her cheeks had returned to my favorite shade
of pink. Instinctively, my hand stretched out to touch her face, to feel the heat beneath my icy
fingertips.
"You're blushing?" I asked, my curiosity intensifying as my nerves diminished. She wasn't going to
ask me for something I couldn't give, just something she was embarrassed to ask for. Perhaps she
really did want a fancy car, or an expensive ring, and she didn't know how to admit it. When she
stayed silent, I urged softly, "Please, Bella, the suspense is painful."

Her only response was to bite her lip, and her fluttering heart only fueled my need to know. "Bella,"
I nearly begged.

"Well, I'm a little worried... about after," she said, her eyes finally meeting mine.

I felt my fists clench. She wanted to talk about those first few terrible months. Both Alice and
Carlisle had encouraged me to be upfront and honest with her. The more she knew, the more
prepared she would be. It made sense, in theory, but the idea of discussing the horror of the
transformation itself, and the gnawing, aching pain of thirst, was not something I was prepared to
talk to her about. I could barely fathom it myself, putting her through all that. I couldn't bear to
think of it, but if she wanted to know –

"What has you worried?" I asked, steeling myself to give her whatever answers she felt she needed.

"All of you just seem so convinced that the only thing I'm going to be interested in, afterward, is
slaughtering everyone in town." I shuddered as I pictured Bella, eyes blazing red, shaking with
thirst, and us trying to contain her. "And I'm afraid," she continued, "I'll be so preoccupied with the
mayhem that I won't be me anymore... and that I won't … I won't want you the same way I do now."

I relaxed slightly. If what she was worried about most was her feelings for me, at least I could
assure her that, in time, they would return. In fact, I was fairly certain they would return, multiplied.
I'd spent decades watching the way vampires love – completely, passionately. When you'd found
your mate, not just for one lifetime, but for all eternity, everything was amplified. I was actually
looking forward to Bella finally understanding exactly how much I loved her, lived for her. My
existence would be nothing without her, and I hoped that joining the immortal world would make
her see that more clearly.

"Bella, that part doesn't last forever," I promised.

"Edward," she said, sounding frustrated, likely doubting me, though I should be proof enough that
the bloodlust doesn't dominate forever. "There's something that I want to do before I'm not human
anymore."

I watched her, waiting for the big revelation, the something she wanted to do that she was afraid to
ask me for. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I felt certain I should already know. Like this was
the punchline to a joke everyone knew but me.

Bella sat there, face redder than I'd ever seen it. "Whatever you want," I told her.

"Do you promise?" she asked, eyes still not meeting mine.

That should have been the warning bell going off in my mind, but, fool in love that I was, I
answered, "Yes. Tell me what you want, and you can have it."

She was staring intently at me now, looking more frightened than I'd ever seen her, and I'd certainly
given her reason to be frightened before. I was baffled, even as she muttered, "You."

"I'm yours," I said, smiling until she turned away from me.

I was about to reach out to lift her chin so her eyes would meet mine again, but the next thing I
knew, Bella was shifting her weight. She knelt in front of me, a surge of determination suddenly
taking over her face and replacing the blush that had colored it moments before. Her arms were
around my neck, her lips pressed firmly against mine, and my thoughts were gone. There was an
urgency to her kiss that I'd never felt from her before, a need and a desire that I'd experienced, but
had worked very hard to push away.

I knew it frustrated Bella that I only gave her a small fraction of what I was feeling, but there was
no other way to keep her safe. If I let myself go the way I wanted to with her, the monster inside
might reemerge and take over. I'd long ago put my thirst aside, banished it for fear that it would take
my beloved away from me. I thought I'd lost her once, and I'd be damned before I lost her again.

Every kiss was a whisper of what I wanted to give, what I wanted to feel. Every touch was tainted
by the restraint that was necessary to keep her alive. I could have grabbed hold of her and never let
go, but for fear of suffocating her. I wanted to feel more, to feel everything that you're supposed to
feel when you're with the one you love, but I couldn't. I wouldn't.

But Bella was kissing me wildly, and my insides were screaming, begging to feel more, to no
longer be suppressed. Her lips were frantic, passionate against mine, and I felt cheated that I
couldn't let myself relax and give in. I felt like I was cheating her by not being able to give more. I
thought she was giving up, her frustration and disappointment with me too much to take, when she
released me from her hold. I was almost relieved as my head started to clear – I'd been too far gone
for my own liking. Then her lips were on mine again, still urgent, still pleading, and I felt her
burning fingertips trail down my neck. My head still in a fog, I didn't realize what she was doing.
The gesture was unfamiliar to me. Unfamiliar and ludicrous. Why, when I was as cold as ice, would
she be trying to take my shirt off? Then I froze.

Bella. Was. Taking. My. Shirt. Off.

"Be reasonable, Bella," I said, pushing her away as gently as I could manage, give the
circumstances.

"You promised – whatever I wanted." Even she knew that wasn't going to change anything. At
least, I thought she knew.

"We're not having this discussion." I hated that my voice sounded so scathing, but I knew as I
buttoned my shirt back up that the anger was only at myself, for having allowed it to go on that
long. I should have realized. I shouldn't have let her think I we – that I –

My thoughts jumbled as I took in Bella's expression and saw that it was absolute fury. "I say we
are," she snapped. Then, to my utter shock, she started trying to take her shirt off.

I didn't know what else to say, so I held her hands at her sides, stopping her from going any further,
and repeated, "I say we're not."

Oddly enough, this felt like the most stubborn and juvenile conversation we'd ever had with each
other. We are, we are not. It might have been amusing, except Bella was glaring at me like I was the
cruelest person on Earth.
"You wanted to know," she finally muttered, a strange mix of irritation and disappointment.

"I thought it would be something faintly realistic."

"So you can ask for any stupid, ridiculous thing you want – like getting married – but I'm not
allowed to even discuss what I – "

I couldn't listen anymore. I couldn't hear her tell me that the only thing in the world she wanted was
the one thing I couldn't give her. I held both her hands in mine and gently placed my hand over her
mouth. "No," I said firmly, though my voice must have conveyed my desperation. Thankfully, she
didn't say another word. She stopped trying to unbutton my shirt, and hers, though I sensed we were
far from finished discussing this. I sighed, tilting her chin up toward my face so she would look at
me. "What now?"

"Nothing," she said, scowling.

When I looked into her eyes, all I expected to find was anger. That was fine, I deserved it – anger I
could take – which was what made it so agonizing when I saw something I wasn't expecting. I
couldn't put my finger on the emotion bubbling just under the surface, but there were tears filling
her eyes, and the blush was returning to her cheeks.

"Did I hurt your feelings?" I asked, bewildered.

"No," she nearly spat. Her eyes shifted down again, and I could see it was taking a great deal of
effort not to let the tears spill over. I would never get used to the fact that she didn't seem to know
how much I wanted her, in every possible way. Just because I couldn't yet show her exactly how
much, I felt it. Of course I felt it. She was everything. In one motion, I pulled Bella to me, pressing
her cheek against my shoulder and softly grazing my fingers across the soft skin of her flushed
cheeks. How she could ever doubt me, I didn't know, but I hoped the small gesture would comfort
her and at least partly fix whatever damage I had done.

"You know why I have to say no," I whispered. "You know that I want you, too."

"Do you?" she argued.

"Of course I do, you silly, beautiful, oversensitive girl." It occurred to me then that it wasn't just my
desire for her she was doubting – she'd never understood why every boy at school seemed to take an
immediate interest in her, why they were fighting for her attention, why they all hated me. I
laughed, though I didn't particularly like thinking about the number of people who'd been furious
when Bella had taken me back after my long absence. Still, I wanted Bella to understand, and to get
over this absurdly inaccurate way she regarded herself.

"Doesn't everyone?" I continued. "I feel like there's a line behind me, jockeying for position,
waiting for me to make a big enough mistake... You're too desirable for your own good."

"Who's being silly now?" Her voice was still shaky, frustrated, and completely disbelieving.

"Do I have to send a petition around to get you to believe? Shall I tell you whose names would be
on the top of the list? You know a few of them, but some might surprise you." Classmates she
barely spoke to, a boy whose name she didn't even know who'd once been paired up with her in
gym. Though I'd appreciated his looking out for her, he was almost as annoying as Mike Newton,
trying his hand at chivalry in an attempt to keep Bella from getting hurt.

Bella shook her head, clearly not interested in her would-be suitors. "You're just trying to distract
me. Let's get back to the subject. Tell me if I have anything wrong. Your demands are marriage,"
she said, shuddering, "paying my tuition, more time, and you wouldn't mind if my vehicle went a
little faster." Finally, she lifted her eyes to look at mine. I was very happy to see she was no longer
crying. "Did I get everything? That's a hefty list."

"Only the first is a demand," I reminded her. I felt myself beaming once again, as I sensed her
wavering – considering it. "The others are merely requests."

"And my lone, solitary little demand is – "

"Demand?" I repeated the word, wondering how we'd gone from discussing the impossible, to Bella
demanding it of me. What was it going to take to convince her I could never let myself risk her
safety in such a way?
"Yes, demand," she said, all her nerves seemingly gone. I scrutinized her face, trying to figure out
where her sudden confidence had come from. "Getting married is a stretch for me. I'm not giving in
unless I get something in return."

So there it was. Bella would marry me, but only if I agreed to put her life in danger first. Perhaps
this was all my fault. I'd always wanted Bella to have nothing but confidence in me and my ability
to keep her safe. I had no doubt she knew I could stop any dangers that were coming from outside
sources, that I would do anything and everything to keep her from ever feeling even the slightest
pain again. I loved that she trusted me, but she seemed to be under the delusion that I could trust
myself if I let my guard down, and that was not the case.

Every moment we were together, I was guarded. If Bella and I were together, truly together in every
way, I could only begin to imagine how quickly my mind would forget to be careful with her. If all
my senses were taken over by desire, and a kind of hunger that was completely new to me, how
could she expect me to control my strength, and – though it pained me to even think of what I'd
worked so hard to silence – my thirst?

"No," I whispered, and for the first time in a very long time, I felt my own voice shake slightly. I
only hoped Bella hadn't noticed. I tried to infuse my next words with more finality. "It's not possible
now. Later, when you're less breakable. Be patient, Bella."

"But that's the problem. It won't be the same when I'm less breakable. I won't be the same! I don't
know who I'll be then."

"You'll still be Bella."

"If I'm so far gone that I'd want to kill Charlie – that I'd drink Jacob's blood or Angela's if I got the
chance – how can that be true?"

"It will pass. And I doubt you'll want to drink the dog's blood." I cringed, imagining ever being so
desperate with thirst that any of us would stoop to that level. I'd sooner take Bella up on her offer to
move to Antarctica and feed on penguins. "Even as a newborn, you'll have better taste than that."
I'd expected Bella to either smile, or be upset with me for making light of things, but I'd
underestimated her determination. "But that will always be what I want most, won't it?" she
challenged. "Blood, blood, and more blood!"

There was a time when I would have agreed with her, but because of Bella, I'd learned that there
was a force even more powerful than thirst. "The fact that you are still alive is proof that that is not
true."

"Over eighty years later," she said, almost pouting. As if the idea of having to wait so long to want
me again was unthinkable. In a way, it was flattering. Nevertheless, I wished she could understand
that her concept of time was slightly skewed. Things were different when you could see forever
stretched out in front of you. The early newborn years were a single grain of sand on an endless
beach.

I was about to speak, to argue my case, but something in her expression stopped me in my tracks.
There was such desperation, such longing, I lost my words. "What I meant was physically, though,"
she whispered. Somehow, her tone was still pleading. "Intellectually, I know I'll be able to be
myself... after a while. But just purely physically – I will always be thirsty, more than anything
else."

In her eyes, behind the look of affection I loved so much, I could see her desire for me. I saw what
I'd never believed I could have – someone who loved me enough to trust me with their heart, body,
and soul. And I wanted to give her everything in return. My heart she knew she had. My soul, if I
still had one, was hers long ago as well. There was only one thing she was asking of me, and I still
wasn't sure I could give it to her.

"So I will be different," she said flatly, misreading my silence. "Because right now, physically,
there's nothing I want more than you. More than food or water or oxygen. Intellectually, I have my
priorities in a slightly more sensible order. But physically..."

I'd barely noticed that through everything we'd been discussing, we hadn't moved a single inch. My
fingers were still resting against her cheek, and in one quick motion, she turned her face so her lips
were against my palm. Her warm breath saturated my skin, and I felt my insides twist into
inexplicable knots. It was such a simple gesture, nothing particularly out of the ordinary, but
somehow, it felt entirely new – new and wonderful. Instinctively, I wanted to weave my fingers into
her hair and pull her closer. Unfortunately, that only made me more aware of the inherent problem
with what Bella was asking. Every step we took forward from this point on would be new, and
every new sensation made me feel less and less in control.

I took a deep breath and tried to remind myself that no matter what we wanted, Bella's safety was
the only thing that really mattered. "Bella, I could kill you," I said. I wished my voice had sounded
steadier.

"I don't think you could."

Bella's stubbornness was exactly what I needed to get my head back to where it needed to be. I'd
spent so long trying to earn her trust, but in this one thing, I couldn't let her forget for a second what
I was capable of. Without breaking her gaze, I reached behind me and pulled one of the metal
flowers from the bed. As easily as if it were a real flower, I clasped my fingers around it and
crumbled it into ash. Anger flashed in Bella's eyes.

"That's not what I meant. I already know how strong you are. You didn't have to break the
furniture."

"What did you mean then?" I searched her face for any trace of the fear that should be there if she
really understood what she was asking of me.

"Obviously not that you aren't physically able to hurt me, if you wanted to..." she explained. "More
that, you don't want to hurt me... so much so that I don't think that you ever could."

I instantly started shaking my head, ready to deny her, but to a certain extent, she was right. I'd
never explained it to her in those exact words, but the agony I'd felt when I'd believed she was dead
was like nothing I'd ever experienced. I would have rather taken the fires of my transformation a
thousand times over than to feel that again. Since then, the thirst I once thought unquenchable had
all but disappeared, and any time I began to feel it, my thoughts quickly reminded me of why I was
denying what I wanted physically. Nothing was as important as protecting Bella, especially not my
own selfish desires.
Which brought us right back to the subject at hand. I hated myself for having considered, even for a
split second, giving in. "It might not work like that, Bella," I protested, as much to myself and to
her.

"Might," she repeated back to me, picking out perfectly the trace of doubt, and throwing it back at
me – taunting me. I was standing my ground, though, ready to fight for Bella's safety, even when
she was not.

"Exactly. Do you imagine I would ever take that kind of risk with you?"

Bella was watching me with calculating eyes, like she was trying to read behind my words. I hoped
she wasn't still doubting my reasons for saying no. She had to know that refusing her in anything
was not easy for me.

"Please," she whispered. "It's all I want. Please." Bella shut her eyes, absolutely desolate. I no
longer knew whether or not she was aware of exactly how deeply she was shaking my resolve. All I
could think of as I watched her desolate expression was that Bella was asking me for one last
human experience – one that she would only ask of me, even if it meant her life was on the line –
and I was finding it increasingly difficult to refuse her.

A moment passed and the only sound in the room was our syncopated breathing. Her eyes opened
slowly, and she again whispered, "Please?"

I took a deep breath to steady myself, rummaging through my list of reasons not to take such a
foolish chance with Bella's safety. It was hard enough to kiss her, to touch her face, to hold her in
my arms, without momentarily forgetting my own strength. How could I expect to keep myself in
check if all my senses were filled with her? To be with her, so adoring yet so vulnerable – what if I
couldn't stop myself from needing to be closer, to hold her tighter?

No. No. I felt weak, and disgusted with myself. It was positively deplorable that we were even still
discussing this. It wasn't a possibility. Not until she was changed. As my last ounce of resolve
managed to resurface, Bella said the thing that, deep down, I'd known all along would defeat me.

"You don't have to make any guarantees. If it doesn't work out right, well, then that's that. Just let us
try... only try. And I'll give you what you want. I'll marry you."
I was certain she was still talking – maybe she was listing off more things she'd be willing to
concede on if I gave her this one wish. I couldn't hear a word, though. All I'd heard was, I'll marry
you.

And then, please.

In a moment of cruel irony, I forgot my strength, and crushed Bella to me. If I hurt her, she didn't
complain. I truly was a monster.

"This is unbearable," I whispered in her ear. "So many things I've wanted to give you – and this is
what you decide to demand. Do you have any idea how painful it is, trying to refuse you when you
plead with me this way?"

"Then don't refuse." Her voice was so sure, so absolutely confident that this could work, I found I
didn't have it in me to argue anymore. "Please," she whispered again, but it was unnecessary. I was
already too far gone.

"Bella..." I sighed, brushing my lips across her perfect skin, breathing in her scent until everything
inside me ached. I could feel her pressing herself closer to me, and I tried with every last shred of
conscious thought to attempt to be gentle with her. She certainly wasn't making it easy, as her lips
found mine with a tortured desperation. She was still trying to get me to give in, and all I wanted
was to give her everything she desired. I reached up to hold her face in my hands, returning her kiss
with all the fervor she was showing me. It was new, and agonizing, and amazing – and I couldn't
stop.

An unbidden guest, thirst raked violently at my throat, and the pain I'd tried to escape was making
up for its long absence by screaming at me louder than ever. Yet I felt no urge to give in. I felt a
small victory as I realized we'd been right about that aspect – my need to protect her would keep the
monster at bay. I would never be able to guarantee that I wouldn't accidentally hold her too tightly,
or kiss her with too much enthusiasm, but my thirst, at least, still appeared to be in control.

With a new sense of confidence, I smiled as Bella wrapped her arms around my neck, her blazing
hot lips caressing my skin as she trembled in my arms. When her lips momentarily parted from
mine, I saw that her cheeks were red – flushed with excitement, rather than her usual nervousness or
embarrassment. While Bella caught her breath, I scattered kisses across her heated skin, down her
neck and across her collarbone. She sighed in contentment as her hands reached down to the buttons
of my shirt.

Before I knew it, my shirt was open, and Bella's fingertips were tracing delicate lines on my chest.
Not accustomed to the sensation, I was surprised when something almost like a shiver raced
through my veins. I felt physically weak for the first time in my very long second life, and I was
like a puppet in Bella's hands as she pulled my mouth back to hers. I was barely aware of how
tightly I was holding on as I tugged on her waist, pressing her closer. I felt her reach up to her own
shirt, and she began fumbling with the buttons.

Without thinking, I opened my eyes and my gaze caught her left hand. The empty spot on her ring
finger reminded me of exactly how we'd gotten to this place. Bella had agreed to marry me. Marry
me. The words rang in my ears, and I was blindsided as it occurred to me that I hadn't even gotten to
ask her properly. All this time, I'd been so focused on finding the right words, saying them in the
right place at the right time. Now, somehow I was an engaged man who'd still never gotten to really
propose. It had all happened so quickly, and I felt my body tense as I realized I'd gone about this all
wrong. Everything we were doing was going about things all wrong.

In the first moment of clarity I'd felt since Bella had pressed her lips to mine, I remembered where I
was, and when it was. Bella might have convinced me that it would be possible to try, but there was
something else that needed to happen first. I wasn't sure Bella would understand – I didn't even
know where to begin – but I knew that I wanted to be married to Bella before we went any further.

"Bella," I said softly, my lips to her ear. "Would you please stop trying to take your clothes off?"

"Do you want to do that part?" she asked breathlessly.

"Not tonight." I kissed her cheek lightly. I didn't want her to be disappointed, but we just couldn't –
at least not yet.

"Edward, don't – " The pained desperation was back in her voice, so I spoke quickly, unable to
stand hearing her sadness for another second.

"I'm not saying no. I'm just saying not tonight."

I counted three deep breaths before she spoke again. "Give me one good reason why tonight is not
as good as any other night."

"I wasn't born yesterday," I said, laughing a little as the tension of the moment dissipated slightly.
"Out of the two of us, which do you think is more unwilling to give the other what they want?" I'd
already been so close to giving in, so close to forgetting everything about the way it should be. I
didn't want Bella to see how unsettling that fact was to me, though, so I attempted to keep things
light. After all, we were still working out the details of our compromise. This time frame, like
everything else, should be up for discussion.

"You just promised to marry me before you do any changing," I said, unsuccessfully trying to hide
my smile as I said the words, "but if I give in tonight, what guarantee do I have that you won't go
running off to Carlisle in the morning? I am – clearly – much less reluctant to give you what you
want. Therefore... you first."

She let out an exasperated sigh. "I have to marry you first?"

"That's the deal – take it or leave it. Compromise, remember?" Then, without another word, I picked
up where we'd left off before I'd come to my senses, only this time, I was thinking more clearly. I
was aware of every shallow breath Bella was taking, and completely conscious of the way her heart
was racing as she tangled her fingers in my hair. I almost laughed at myself for not realizing what
she was trying to ask of me earlier.

"I think that's a really bad idea," she whispered, her voice shaking.

"I'm not surprised you feel that way," I answering, grinning. "You have a one-track mind."

"How did this happen? I thought I was holding my own tonight – for once – and now, all of a
sudden – "

"You're engaged." I couldn't stop the word from tumbling out of my lips. I'd waited so long to say
it.

"Ew! Please don't say that out loud."

"Are you going back on your word?" I asked, though her flushed skin made me fairly confident she
wasn't. Her heart was racing, and she there was an excitement and a passion in her eyes I'd rarely, if
ever, seen. "Are you?" I repeated.

"Ugh! No. I'm not. Are you happy now?"

I'd never felt more ecstatic or more alive. I may not have gotten my romantic proposal, but the fact
remained – Bella was going to be my wife. "Exceptionally," I said, my heart feeling like it would
somehow find a way to beat again, just to show her how happy she'd made me.

My elation was put on hold as Bella groaned again, and I knew none of this meant anything if it
wasn't what she wanted. "Aren't you happy at all?" I asked her, then kissed her, trying to infuse it
with all of my joy and excitement. Please, please, be happy, was all I could think.

When my mouth finally parted from hers, I could taste adrenaline in her breath. "A little bit," she
admitted, eyes still shut, her tongue unconsciously tracing her lower lip. "But not about getting
married," she added, her eyes opening to find me smiling at her again. Her stubbornness was as
adorable as usual, and I found myself kissing her again.

"Do you get the feeling that everything is backward?" I whispered, my lips moving to her ear. I
loved listening to her racing heartbeat as my cool breath washed over her. "Traditionally, shouldn't
you be arguing my side, and I yours?"

"There isn't much that's traditional about you and me."

"True," I agreed, finding it hard to keep myself from kissing her more. Then I remembered, with a
rush of enthusiasm, that she was my bride-to-be. I didn't have to stop kissing her. Ever. My fingers
traced down her side, raising goosebumps all over her skin. She sighed as my lips scattered kisses
across her cheeks, down her throat, to the base of her neck. I inhaled deeply, my nose skimming
lightly from one side of her collarbone to the other. It was agony, and it was perfection, and I
relished the burn it elicited because it was so completely and extraordinarily Bella – and she was
mine.

"Look, Edward," she gasped when my lips moved to the palm of her hand. "I said I would marry
you, and I will. I promise. I swear. If you want, I'll sign a contract in my own blood."
"Not funny," I muttered, my nose moving to her wrist, where her scent was even more potent. Some
might call it masochism, but I couldn't stop myself. Somehow, knowing she was ready to bind
herself to me in every way made me that much more desperate to memorize everything about her
now, so I could take it all with me after she was changed. We would always have this first life
together, and I wanted to be able to tell her everything about it when it was nothing more than a
distant human memory to her.

"What I'm saying is this – I'm not going to trick you or anything. You know me better than that. So
there's really no reason to wait. We're completely alone – how often does that happen? – and you've
provided this very large and comfortable bed..."

"Not tonight," I repeated.

"Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do."

With a look of confusion, Bella pushed me away and stared into my eyes. She could see that there
was more than I was saying – but how could I explain it right? People today might call it an old-
fashioned idea, but to me, it was such a simple idea. If you were lucky enough to find the person
that made life worth living, then you wanted to promise them forever. Marriage meant, "I love you,
and I will never want anything more than to share my life with you." Then, after you'd made that
promise to your love, in front of everyone who mattered in your life, you would seal that promise
by giving yourself to them – completely, joyfully, and without a trace of fear.

"Then what's the problem?" she pressed. "It's not like you didn't know you were going to win in the
end. You always win," she added glumly.

"Just hedging my bets." I waited, knowing she wouldn't leave it at that, and tried to think of how to
best explain it. A hundred years of differences seemed to be staring me in the face. I knew why it
couldn't be tonight, but would she understand?

"There's something else," she said, scrutinizing my face. "Are you planning to go back on your
word?"
"No," I promised. She'd already given me a taste of what she wanted – of what I wanted as well.
And she'd agreed to marry me. There was no going back. Even against my better judgment, I'd
made her a vow of my own. "I swear to you, we will try. After you marry me."

She shook her head and laughed under her breath, the strangest expression on her face, and I
wondered if she'd just put the pieces together. "You make me feel like a villain in a melodrama –
twirling my mustache while I try to steal some poor girl's virtue."

I think she was expecting me to laugh along with her, but, although I didn't particularly like her
comparing herself to a seedy villain, the analogy was close enough to the truth. Not quite ready to
say the words out loud, I resumed what seemed to be a relatively decent distraction – kissing her
collarbone.

"That's it, isn't it?" she gasped, undeterred. "You're trying to protect your virtue!" Her eyes widened
with shock as her hands reached up to cover her mouth. I could see she was biting back laughter. It
wasn't exactly the reaction I'd been expecting.

"No, silly girl," I said, still kissing her shoulder. "I'm trying to protect yours. And you're making it
shockingly difficult."

"Of all the ridiculous – "

"Let me ask you something," I said, interrupting her. If we were going to have this discussion, I was
not going to let it start with her calling it ridiculous. I may have been brought up in a different time,
but that did not make my beliefs ridiculous – all it meant was that I was trying to hold onto at least
some of who I used to be. "We've had this discussion before, but humor me. How many people in
this room have a soul? A shot at heaven, or whatever there is after this life?"

"Two," she answered without hesitation. It was quite nearly enough to make even me a believer.

"All right. Maybe that's true," I conceded. "Now, there's a world full of dissension about this, but
the vast majority seem to think that there are some rules that have to be followed."

"Vampire rules aren't enough for you? You want to worry about the human ones, too?"
"It couldn't hurt," I said, shrugging. I'd been human once, and Bella was human for a little while
longer. If Bella and Carlisle ended up being right about our souls, it seemed only right that we
should try to follow whatever human rules we could. "Just in case," I added, smiling, though Bella
only glared back at me. "Now, of course, it might be too late for me, even if you are right about my
soul."

"No, it isn't," she said sharply. Her faith in me was unshakable.

"'Thou shalt not kill' is commonly accepted by most major belief systems. And I've killed a lot of
people, Bella."

"Only the bad ones."

"Maybe that counts, maybe it doesn't. But you haven't killed anyone – "

"That you know about," she mumbled, and I smiled, remembering the way she'd once talked about
wanting to run over Tyler with her truck after he'd told everyone he was taking her to the prom.

"And I'm going to do my best to keep you out of temptation's way," I continued.

"Okay. But we weren't fighting over committing murder."

"The same principle applies – the only difference is that this is the one area in which I'm just as
spotless as you are. Can't I leave one rule unbroken?"

"One?" she asked, eyebrow raised.

"You know that I've stolen, I've lied, I've coveted... my virtue is all I have left." I smirked, daring
her to argue with me. Shouldn't she want to help me keep at least one area of my life unspotted?

"I lie all the time," she argued.

"Yes, but you're such a bad liar that it doesn't really count. No one believes you."

"I really hope you're wrong about that – because otherwise Charlie is about to burst through the
door with a loaded gun."
I thought about all the times I'd heard traces of doubt or wariness in Charlie's thoughts, but every
time, he seemed to talk himself out of whatever was bothering him. He trusted Bella, to the point
that it often made me feel guilty about keeping so much from him. Of course, there would always
be things about our world we could never tell Charlie, but at least after Bella and I were married, he
would know that she'd chosen me, and we would never have to hide in order to be together.

"Charlie is happier when he pretends to swallow your stories. He'd rather lie to himself than look
too closely." I almost added that in the brief time I'd spent with her mother, I'd seen she was the
same way, but I was sure Bella already knew.

"But what did you ever covet?" she asked, still watching me with a hint of confusion. "You have
everything."

"I coveted you. I had no right to want you – but I reached out and took you anyway." There were
times I still couldn't shake the guilt of having taken Bella out of the world where she rightfully
belonged, but with her sitting next to me, talking about our future together so calmly, everything
just fit so perfectly. How could she belong anywhere else? Of course, her still heated skin and
racing heart also helped cement the idea that we belonged together. It had taken me so long to get
used to the idea that someone as fragile and perfect as Bella could ever want to be with a monster
like me, the notion that we were discussing her wanting more seemed almost absurd. I smiled, my
voice teasing. "And now look what's become of you! Trying to seduce a vampire."

"You can covet what's already yours," Bella said, her tone absolutely matter of fact. I was still
trying to get used to the idea that she considered herself mine long before I allowed myself to
believe it. "Besides, I thought it was my virtue you were worried about."

"It is. If it's too late for me... Well, I'll be damned – no pun intended – if I'll let them keep you out,
too."

"You can't make me go somewhere you won't be," she protested. "That's my definition of hell.
Anyway, I have an easy solution to all this; let's never die, all right?"

"Sounds simple enough. Why didn't I think of that?" I smiled as I let her words sink in. Very soon, I
wouldn't have to fear for her safety anymore. We would be married, and we would have eternity
stretched out before us. For the first time in my second life, the concept of forever felt like a gift.
We'd gotten so far off track from where our discussion had started, I wondered what was going
through Bella's mind. A few seconds later, she let out a frustrated breath.

"So that's it. You won't sleep with me until we're married."

I almost rolled my eyes at her. We'd spoken of marriage and souls, heaven and hell, yet her mind
was still very firmly on picking up where I'd stopped her.

"Technically, I can't ever sleep with you," I teased.

"Very mature, Edward."

"But, other than that detail, yes, you've got it right."

"I think you have an ulterior motive," she said, accusing.

"Another one?"

"You know this will speed things up."

Surprisingly, I hadn't even thought of it. Bella had said she would marry me, and that was all that
mattered at the moment. Now that she'd said it, however, I was wishing I could whisk her away and
make my vows tonight.

"There is only one thing I want to speed up, and the rest can wait forever... but for that, it's true,
your impatient human hormones are my most powerful ally at this point."

"I can't believe I'm going along with this. When I think of Charlie... and Renee! Can you imagine
what Angela will think? Or Jessica? Ugh. I can hear the gossip now."

I looked at her, silently posing the question I didn't quite have the heart to ask aloud. How could she
possibly be worried about what her friends would think of her getting married when she had no
plans to ever see any of them again? I quickly reminded myself that not caring what anyone thinks
is an art that had taken me and my family decades to learn. It made sense that Bella would be
worried about appearances – it was a very human reaction, and she was, for the time being, still
human.
"It doesn't have to be a big production. I don't need any fanfare. You won't have to tell anyone or
make any changes. We'll go to Vegas – you can wear old jeans and we'll go to the chapel with the
drive-through window. I just want it to be official – that you belong to me and no one else."

"It couldn't be any more official than it already is," she protested.

"We'll see about that." I sincerely hoped that when we did make it official, Bella would stop feeling
like marriage was just a piece of paper. I wanted her to feel the power that came with the irrefutable
knowledge that we'd vowed to love only each other – that for all eternity, there would never be
anything we would want more than to be together. I wanted to believe that her trepidation over the
whole concept of marriage truly did have to do with appearances, and that when she was standing
beside me, making her vows, she would do so with joy in her heart and love in her eyes.

I spoke my next words carefully, and without a great deal of hope. For all my planning and longing,
I still hadn't gotten to actually propose, so I asked, "I suppose you don't want your ring now?"

Her eyes widened nervously, and her heart skipped a beat. "You suppose correctly."

I couldn't help but laugh at my Bella – how many times had I said she feared all the wrong things?
"That's fine. I'll get it on your finger soon enough."

Her eyes narrowed. "You talk like you already have one."

"I do," I said, grinning as I pictured my mother's ring on her hand, then added casually, "Ready to
force upon you at the first sign of weakness."

"You're unbelievable."

"Do you want to see it?" I asked, realizing that just because she wasn't ready to wear it, didn't mean
I couldn't share it with her. Unfortunately, my excitement was quickly shot down.

"No!" she shrieked, managing to further crush my hope that she might someday actually want to
wear it. My face must have betrayed my disappointment, and she added, halfheartedly, "Unless you
really want to show it to me."
"That's all right. It can wait." Maybe, if Bella's impatience didn't send us running off to Vegas, I
would have another opportunity to present it to her properly.

She let out a sigh. "Show me the damn ring, Edward." Clearly, she was determined to ruin
everything about this moment for me.

"No," I said flatly, shaking my head. I heard a tiny voice in the back of my mind, calling me a fool.
Why was I so excited? She'd only agreed to marry me because she wanted something I wasn't
willing to give her without it. She didn't like the idea of having to tell her friends or her family. She
didn't want to see the ring that meant so much to me – that I so desperately wanted her to have.
She'd told me I always win, but if it was all a game to her, could I really call it a victory?

Bella must have seen something in my eyes – something I didn't know how to say out loud –
because her expression softened. "Please?" she asked, and I exhaled in disbelief. She was just trying
to appease me, I reminded myself. Then, she lifted her hand and brushed her fingers across my
cheeks. The tenderness of the gesture was so far from the tense, unyielding posture she'd shown me
throughout our whole exchange, I was left baffled. "Please can I see it?" she asked.

I stared into her eyes, searching for any trace of the fear that I knew still lurked behind them, but
came up short. She'd managed to push it completely away in her attempt to make me happy. I knew
it wasn't what she wanted, I knew it wouldn't mean to her what it meant to me. Yet I couldn't stop
myself. She was asking to see the ring that now belonged to her, and I could not refuse.

"You are the most dangerous creature I've ever met," I complained, moving quickly to retrieve the
ring from where it had been sitting, waiting – relentlessly reminding me of its presence. I sat down
beside her, not having the heart to look at her if she cringed when she opened it. I put my arm
around Bella – my safe harbor, the only one I would ever want – and placed the small box on her
knee.

"Go ahead and look, then," I said, hating that I could hear the bitterness in my own voice. This
should have been a different moment, one filled with roses and candles and music. Why had I let
her coerce me like this?

Holding my breath, I watched as she touched the box lightly, examining it before she opened it.
"You didn't spend a lot of money, did you? Lie to me, if you did."
I should have known she would be worried about accepting anything I'd spent money on, and I
breathed a short sigh of relief that there was at least one concern I could alleviate. "I didn't spend
anything. It's just another hand-me-down. This is the ring my father gave to my mother."

"Oh," she said. As I felt her relax slightly, I allowed myself a bit of excitement again. Her fingers
were resting on the lid now, and in her hesitation, I saw another opportunity. It occurred to me that
it was the ring's significance that was making her wary, and if I could lighten the mood again,
perhaps she would be able to relax even further and actually enjoy seeing it for the first time.

"I suppose it's a little outdated. Old-fashioned, just like me. I can get you something more modern.
Something from Tiffany's?" I teased.

Blushing just enough to make my heart soar, she said, "I like old-fashioned things," and then
opened the box to reveal my mother's ring. There was a long pause and neither of us spoke or
breathed – the silence was heavy around us. I finally found my courage enough to look at Bella's
face, and I nearly pulled her into my arms when I saw one side of her mouth curled into a smile. My
muscles ached as I forced myself to stay still. She touched the ring like it was made of glass, and
whispered, "It's so pretty."

"Do you like it?" I asked, my voice thick with emotion that I was completely and utterly unable to
hide.

"It's beautiful. What's not to like?" she said, shrugging lightly, but this time, she couldn't convince
me. I'd seen the ring's reflection in her glassy eyes. All joking aside, she knew what it meant, and
even if she wasn't ready to let me place it on her finger, she knew it belonged to her now, and
always.

"See if it fits," I said, unable to resist the urge to see her wearing it, even if only briefly. Her hand
clenched and I saw the hesitation return to her eyes. "Bella, I'm not going to solder it to your finger.
Just try it on so I can see if it needs to be sized. Then you can take it right off."

"Fine," she sighed. She started to reach for the ring, but there was no way I was letting her put it on
herself. I'd gone about everything else so wrong, there was one thing I was determined to get right. I
hadn't been able to say the words I'd practiced, Bella hadn't accepted graciously or with any
particular amount of enthusiasm, she wouldn't let me even speak the word engaged – but I was
going to place this ring on her finger.

I heard her take a deep breath in as I slid my mother's ring onto her finger, and when it was in place,
I lifted Bella's hand so we could both look at it. If there had ever been a moment I'd been desperate
to read her mind, this would have been it.

"A perfect fit," I breathed, trying once again to keep my voice casual. Anything I could do to stop
her from ripping it off her finger that very second. I wasn't ready yet. "That's nice," I continued.
"Saves me a trip to the jeweler's."

I couldn't take my eyes off of it, though I could feel Bella had turned to stare at me. It really was
perfect, like it was meant to be hers. I'm sure it must seem like the most insignificant of details –
we'd certainly proved in far more concrete ways that we belonged together – but I couldn't help the
intense joy of knowing that nothing about the ring would have to be altered. If Bella would let me, I
could leave it there forever.

"You like that, don't you?" she finally asked, moving her hand just slightly so that the dim lights in
the room caught every gemstone.

My casual tone was threatening to break away and reveal everything I was feeling, but I fought
against it. "Sure," I said, shrugging. "It looks very nice on you."

I think if I'd kept staring at the ring, if I'd resisted the urge to look into the eyes of the woman who
would soon be my wife, I could have kept up the pretense a little while longer. Instead, though, I
turned to Bella, and when my gaze met hers, I could see our entire future in her eyes. Without fear, I
saw her eyes turning golden, her skin becoming pale. I could almost feel what it would be like to
touch her skin and not feel the heat I'd grown so accustomed to. I saw Bella, my wife, standing
alongside my family. I saw her in the sunlight, skin like diamonds, holding my hand and laughing at
some shared secret.

The next thing I knew, my fingers were twined with hers and my lips were moving against her lips
as best I could manage through the smile that could no longer be contained. I kissed her nose, her
eyelids, then down her cheek until my mouth was at her ear, whispering, "Yes, I like it. You have
no idea."
Miraculously, my exuberance appeared to have alleviated whatever concerns she still had, and she
laughed the most beautiful of laughs. "I believe you."

I wasn't sure whether it was the sound of her laughter, or the sudden but definite joy in her eyes, or
the crystal clear visions of what our life together would soon be, but I knew then that I was never
going to have another moment as perfect as this to, officially, ask for her hand.

"Do you mind if I do something?" I asked, hugging her tightly, not sure if I'd be able to let go long
enough to do this right.

"Anything you want." She must have been as unwilling as I was to end our embrace, because when
I let go, she muttered, "Anything but that."

A look of surprise and confusion crossed Bella's face when I pulled her off the bed with me.
Considering all that had just transpired, I found it difficult to believe she didn't know what I was
doing, although it did make it more enjoyable. I placed my hands on her shoulders, needing to
steady myself as much as her.

"Now, I want to do this right. Please, please, keep in mind that you've already agreed to this, and
don't ruin it for me."

Understanding flickered as I dropped to one knee. "Oh, no," she said.

"Be nice," I pleaded. She must have seen the desperation in my eyes because she took a deep
breath.

"Isabella Swan? I promise to love you forever – every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"

My hundred years of existence didn't feel as long at that single moment, and no word that had ever
been uttered sounded as beautiful as Bella's answer.

"Yes," she whispered, her eyes glowing and adoring.

I didn't know what else to say, so I answered, "Thank you." She'd given me everything. Happiness I
didn't think was possible, love I knew I didn't deserve – a friend, a partner, a reason to exist. I kissed
each of her fingers before kissing the ring that had been meant for her all along. "Thank you," I
tried to whisper again, but nothing came out. For the first time in my long life, emotion had
rendered me speechless.
 Trails

It was a different world when Bella woke up the next morning. Although she'd taken off her ring
and returned it to me with an uncomfortable half-smile, the fact still remained – Bella was going to
be my wife. I hadn't deluded myself into thinking that she was as excited about it as I was, but I
considered it a small victory that in her dreams, at least, it seemed she wasn't entirely opposed to the
idea.

She had reluctantly fallen asleep as a storm raged outside, and within minutes, she was muttering,
"won't understand," and "what do I say?" I smiled and ran my fingers through her hair, happy that I
was finally starting to understand her fears.

"It isn't about them, my love," I whispered, letting my lips gently touch her ear. She shivered, and I
couldn't help but remember a time not so long ago when she slept without knowing I was with her.
I'd barely dared to touch her skin for fear of waking her, and kept myself silent except for the
occasional humming of her lullaby to ease her nightmares. Everything had changed the day she'd let
me into her life. Now, as I spoke softly, she hugged herself tightly to me and listened, even if only
in her subconscious.

"There's nothing else but you and me. I love you, forever, and you've made me happier than I ever
thought was possible. Don't worry, Bella. I'm going to spend the rest of my existence making sure
you want for nothing."

She sighed, a smile twitching at her lips, and the words, "I love you" came so clearly, I thought
she'd woken up. Then she ducked her head into the crook of my arm and fell into a deeper sleep. It
wasn't until the storm outside subsided and the faintest glimmer of sunlight hit the walls of my room
that she spoke again.

"I see you," she said softly. "Waiting for me." I couldn't explain it – I had no reason to let myself
hope – but I felt certain in that moment that she was dreaming of our wedding day. She sighed
again and mumbled, "too many flowers,," and I laughed quietly. Now even surer than before of
what my Bella was dreaming, I had to play along, just for a few minutes.
"My beautiful bride," I whispered. Even in her sleep, I felt her cringe at the word, but a few seconds
later, she relaxed again and nuzzled closer to me.

"Not so bad," she breathed, her chin lifting up toward me until I could see her eyelids fluttering.
"Forever is good," was the last thing I heard before she fell silent again. I spent the rest of the
morning staring at her with a smile on my face. When she awoke, squinting as she always did when
there was light pouring in, I kissed each of her cheeks before touching my lips to hers. She giggled
and laced her fingers together behind my neck. Somehow, I felt younger, newer – like I'd been
given a fresh start. It was euphoria, and it was all because of her. I wished I could have reveled in
the feeling for a while longer, but as the sun was replaced with clouds and the storm picked up
again, I could feel her nerves creeping back in.

"You probably need a few human minutes," I said lightly, and she nodded, her eyes not leaving
mine. The way she was watching me was almost calculating, like she was trying to figure out some
mystery. "I'll make you breakfast," I added, closing the door behind me and hoping some time alone
would clear her thoughts.

I stepped into the kitchen and began looking through cupboards. Carlisle kept the house well
stocked, not only for Bella, but to keep up appearances. He enjoyed shopping, explaining that it
made him feel more normal, and there were many local food banks that were kept in good supply as
he endlessly rotated items. He used to keep only the basics, but when Bella had started visiting
more frequently, he began paying attention to her favorites. Now I found that I had a wide array of
choices, and didn't know where to begin. I must have still been staring at my options when I heard
Bella's footsteps behind me.

"You don't need to make me anything fancy. I'm happy with cereal."

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. What would you like this morning?"

She shrugged, smiling as she closed the distance between us. Then she stood on her tiptoes and
pulled me down to kiss her. "You," she said, grinning as she released me.

"I'm yours. Always."

I'd said it with nothing but sincerity, but she inexplicably rolled her eyes. I might have questioned it,
but instead was just relieved that she appeared to be relaxed again. She tried to pour herself a bowl
of cereal, but I stopped her and motioned for her to sit down.

"I told you, I'm making breakfast, even if all you want is cereal."

"Stubborn," she said, though she was smiling.

"You know, one of these days I'm going to start watching the Food Network. I'll shock you by
making something truly delicious."

"I can't wait."

I brought the bowl to her, then toasted some bread. When I sat beside her, she twined her fingers
with mine and watched me with that same calculating expression. I didn't have the heart to ask what
it was about. If she was worried about the fight, there was nothing more I could say to ease her
mind. If she was doubting whether she really wanted to marry me, I couldn't bear to hear it. So we
sat together, hand in hand, her staring at me, and me trying to simply enjoy the moment for what it
was – the first of many mornings spent together in our home.

When my family was a few miles away, I began to hear their mental chatter. Carlisle was pleased
with the trip, but wary of what now lay before us. Esme was her usual, pensive self, concerned for
her family, but wonderfully optimistic. Jasper and Emmett were anxious to start the fight, and Rose
was ready for it to be over. It was Alice I heard last, and she seemed to be the only one not thinking
about the fight. Knowing I would be listening, she wasted no time voicing her disapproval.

This is so unfair, and you know it. I only get to do this once, and you're trying to take it all away
from me.

It only took me a second to understand what she was referring to, and I didn't want to admit how
much it hurt. Of course Alice would have seen Bella running off to Vegas, because that was the
only way Bella could imagine actually marrying me. I knew it had been my suggestion, but I
couldn't help wishing for something a bit more traditional. Besides, it might not be for decades, or
even centuries, but someday, I believed Bella would wish we'd had a real wedding.
I have the perfect dress, and it's just going to go to waste.

The indignation in her tone momentarily pushed my disappointment aside. I almost laughed when I
realized I wasn't sure whether Alice was talking about her dress, or the one she'd already designed
for Bella. Somehow, Alice was under the impression that this wedding was about her. It almost
made me want to run away to Vegas.

"My family is almost home," I told Bella. Then I lifted her hand to my lips and kissed it. "I had a
lovely evening with you. I can't wait for this to officially be your home, too."

She smiled as a beautiful blush colored her cheeks, and I kissed her again. Time had passed too
quickly, and I wasn't ready to let go of the peace we'd found. The noise of the voices I always heard,
as well as the ticking clock that reminded me how close we were to battle, felt deafening. I kissed
Bella harder, trying to keep everything else out, but far too soon, I had to let her go. When my
family came through the door, their faces were sober yet determined.

Alice was the first one inside, and her eyes were seething. I didn't tell them yet. I thought it would
be nice to be able to announce a real wedding, not this farce you two seem so set on. I rolled my
eyes, trying my best to ignore her as the rest of my family joined us.

"Welcome home," I said in a tone that sounded too formal.

"Thank you," Carlisle said. "We've prepared as best we can. There is nothing left to do now but
wait."

"Well, almost nothing," I reminded him.

"Of course." He turned toward Bella then, his voice gentle and kindness in his eyes. "It seems you
have a bit of a hike ahead of you."

"From what I hear, I don't really have to worry about the hiking part. I'm more like – along for the
ride."

"Yes, that's probably true," he agreed, laughing lightly before turning back to me. "I take it you're
all prepared?"
"Just about. There are a few more things to gather, then we'll be meeting Jacob."

Alice scowled, wrinkling her nose. "I think – " she said, sneering, "that you're going to want to pack
for cold weather, Edward. I can't see where you are exactly, because you're taking off with that dog
this afternoon. But the storm that's coming seems particularly bad in that general area."

I nodded, figuring as much. The brief moments of sunlight this morning hadn't changed the fact that
thick clouds were rolling in, and the wind hadn't let up. It was going to be cold, and I knew no
matter how prepared we were, it was going to be a miserable night for Bella.

"It's going to snow on the mountains," she added. And you'd better pack a first aid kit, she added
silently. It doesn't take psychic to know that Bella plus ice will equal the need for bandages.

I ignored Alice's snide remark. Although I had packed the first aid kit.

"Ew, snow," Bella said.

"Wear a jacket," Alice said coldly. Don't worry, I won't try to pick it out for you or anything.

I tried to hide my smile of amusement, but Alice scowled at me. As long as she didn't say anything
to Bella, I didn't mind hearing her internal irritation. Whatever Bella decided was fine, and I would
do my best to hide whatever disappointment I might feel if she did end up marrying me in Vegas,
wearing jeans and a T-shirt. I wouldn't let her feel any more pressure than she already did.

The next hour was spent finishing packing and making sure we were ready for the night ahead. I'd
gathered all our camping equipment that never got used, and tried to think of things to help Bella
stay warm through the impending storm. We had a down sleeping bag and a few extra blankets. I
suggested buying more at Newton's, but Bella assured me I was already over-prepared. Her face
crumpled in disgust as I put dehydrated food in the backpack, but it made the most sense. I silently
vowed to learn how to make her a gourmet meal when this was all over.

Alice joined us in the garage and continued her mental tirade, and I just kept packing, not wanting
Bella to know anything was wrong.
This is all your fault, really. You're the one insisting on getting married before you change her.
She'll be so much happier once she's one of us, I'm sure she'd let me give her a proper wedding.
And you say Bella is stubborn.

I continued ignoring Alice, content that she seemed more upset with me than with Bella. When I
felt certain I had everything we needed, I handed Bella my phone. "Why don't you call Jacob and
tell him we'll be ready for him in an hour or so. He knows where to meet us."

Jacob wasn't home, but we both knew it wouldn't take Billy long to get the message to him. The
wolves' mental connection was an extremely useful tool. As Bella finished talking with Billy, I
focused my attention on Alice. She was looking wistful, and from the little she was allowing me to
hear, it sounded like she was practicing what she wanted to say to Bella to make her change her
mind.

"Alice," I growled quietly, my eyes darting toward Bella. She was too engrossed her conversation to
notice anything.

"What?" Alice mouthed innocently. She deserves to know how I feel. I am her sister after all.
Besides, I don't know what your problem is. You want a big, beautiful wedding, right? With your
family there. Think of Carlisle and Esme. Bella probably hasn't even thought about all the people
she'll be disappointing. Maybe if I can make her see that, we'll all get what we want.

Everyone except Bella, that is. I looked at her, nothing but love and concern in her eyes as she
talked to Billy. It didn't matter what I wanted, or what Alice wanted. If Bella wanted a ten-minute
ceremony without anyone else present, that would be enough for me. More than enough, because it
would mean she was mine and I was hers.

I turned back to Alice, glaring, and shook my head. "Don't make her feel guilty," I whispered.

I'm not. I'm just going to make sure she's thought through all her options.

I was about to argue further, but I felt Bella handing the phone back to me. "Bill said to tell you
'good luck,' " she said.
"That was generous of him." I gave Alice one last pleading look before I turned away, but she was
wasting no time.

"Bella, could I please speak to you alone?" she asked.

"You're about to make my life harder than it needs to be, Alice. I'd really rather you didn't."

"This isn't about you, Edward," she snapped, and I couldn't help but laugh. How foolish of me to
think my wedding was about me.

"It's not," Alice repeated. "This is a female thing."

I glared at her, but Bella said, "Let her talk to me."

"You asked for it," I said, shaking my head. As I walked past Alice, I muttered, "This is all on you
now. I take no responsibility."

She giggled and clapped her hands as I shut the door behind me. I probably should have let them
talk in private – or as private as any conversation can be in our house – but I needed to hear Bella's
response first-hand, rather than through Alice's thoughts. If she agreed to go along with Alice's
elaborate plans, I wanted to make sure it was for the right reasons, and not because she was feeling
guilty. She didn't owe any of us anything more than the love and trust she'd already shown time and
again.

I waited outside while Alice said all the things I wished she wouldn't say.

"Don't you love me?" she pleaded. "Please, Bella, please – if you really love me . . . Please let me
do your wedding."I almost ran back into the garage when I heard, "I'll bet Edward would like it
better if you did this traditionally, though he'd never tell you that," but I couldn't make myself stop
her. She was right, on both counts. It was what I wanted, and I wouldn't ever tell Bella how much it
meant to me.

"Please?" Alice repeated, over and over.

"I'll never, never ever forgive you for this, Alice," Bella said, defeated.
Then, through Alice's eyes, I saw the wedding Alice had been planning so long. The dress she'd
designed for Bella – one that belonged in a different century, my century – and Bella, radiant and
perfect, descending our staircase with flowers in her hair.

"Yay!" Alice shouted, breaking me away from the vision too soon.

"That's not a yes!" Bella argued.

"But it will be," she chirped.

"Edward!" Bella yelled, and my momentary happiness at seeing everything I'd longed for
disappeared. "I know you're listening. Get over here." The dismay I heard in her voice reminded me
that she was my first priority, her happiness the only that that mattered. Clearly Alice had no such
concerns, as she clapped giddily behind Bella.

"Thanks so much, Alice," I said coldly. When Bella's eyes met mine, they were red and glassy, like
she was nearly crying. How could Alice have kept pressuring her when it was upsetting her so
much? Bella threw her arms around my neck and squeezed with all her strength.

"Vegas," I reminded her, wishing we had time to go right now, so all this would be done with.

"Not a chance," Alice said. "Bella would never do that to me. You know, Edward, as a brother, you
are sometimes a disappointment."

"Don't be mean," Bella chided. "He's trying to make me happy, unlike you."

"I'm trying to make you happy, too, Bella. It's just that I know better what will make you happy . . .
in the long run. You'll thank me for this. Maybe not for fifty years, but definitely someday."

"I never thought I'd see the day where I'd be willing to take a bet against you, Alice, but it has
arrived."

She laughed lightly, the whole situation amusing her now that she saw it going the way she wanted.
"So, are you going to show me the ring?"
Before either Bella or I could stop her, she grabbed Bella's hand, scrutinized the place where her
ring should be, then dropped it. "Huh. I saw him put it on you . . . Did I miss something?" She
closed her eyes for a moment, a sea of wedding images filling her mind once more. I tried to remind
myself it wasn't what Bella wanted, but it was hard to believe when Alice could see it all so clearly.
In every vision, Bella was positively beaming. "No. Wedding's still on," she said, her eyes focusing
on Bella's empty ring finger again.

"Bella has issues with jewelry," I said casually, not wanting Bella to feel bad. She could wear it
whenever she was ready.

"What's one more diamond? Well, I guess the ring has lots of diamonds, but my point is that he's
already got one on – "

"Enough, Alice!" I snarled. From the corner of my eye, I could see Bella's mouth open in surprise. I
couldn't tell whether it was because she'd understood what Alice had meant or because of the way
I'd just snapped. I quickly regained composure and said quietly, "We're in a hurry."

"I don't understand. What's this about diamonds?" Bella asked.

"We'll talk about it later," Alice said, and I shot her a glace that said, we will not be talking about
this later, which she promptly ignored. "Edward is right – you'd better get going. You've got to set a
trap and make camp before the storm comes."

Though her thoughts were filled with uncertainty due to the wolves' presence, Alice began seeing
visions of snow clouds rolling in. She saw Bella shivering, miserable as she wrapped her arms
around her chest. Of course there would be nothing I could do for her – I was as icy as the snow that
would be falling around her. The best I could do was pack for the weather, and get her inside the
tent before the worst of the storm hit.

"Don't forget your coat, Bella," Alice told her, her eyes flickering to mine for a split second. "It
seems . . . unseasonably cold."

"I've already got it," I promised.

Such a horrible night for her to be up there, she thought dismally, though she smiled at Bella and
told her, "Have a nice night."

When Alice had left, Bella looked at me expectantly. "Are are ready for this?" she asked in a
whisper.

"As ready as I can be, given the circumstances. You'll be in the safest place possible, far away from
the fight – but first we need to make sure the newborns are crazy with your scent."

"If that's all I can do to help – " she said, looking down, almost embarrassed.

"It's perfect. It's exactly what we need to make sure they follow the path we want them to."

She smiled reluctantly and leaned down to pick up her backpack. Before her fingers could touch it,
however, it was over my shoulders and she was in my arms. Her smile grew wider as she lifted her
chin up to kiss me. A moment later, we were flying through the trees. I took a different, longer route
than our usual one, careful not to let her scent drift anywhere near the path she would be taking
later. When we reached the clearing, I set her down, reveling for a moment in the way her fingers
gripped my collar, not wanting to let go. I gave her a reassuring look as I released her, hoping she
knew I would always rather keep her in my arms.

"All right," I said. "Just walk north for a ways, touching as much as you can. Alice gave me a clear
picture of their path, and it won't take long for us to intersect it."

"North?" she repeated, and I smiled as I motioned in the direction. She walked slowly and
determinedly, touching trees, rocks, the grass – everything in her path. Every few steps, she would
glance in my direction, and I nodded encouragingly. I could already picture the frenzied eyes of the
newborns when they caught the scent they'd been obsessed with. I was proud of her strength, and
her desire to help in whatever way possible, but still, it was difficult – almost painful – to think of
the newborns tracking her that way. It reminded me too much of another tracker who had almost
cost me my reason for existing.

"Am I doing this right?" she asked, her hands tracing a path along a fallen, moss-covered tree.

"Perfectly," I assured her.

Her face lit up as she called, "Will this help?" Then I watched in fascination as she pulled our
several hairs and left them trailing across a row of ferns.

"Yes, that does make the trail stronger. But you don't need to pull your hair out, Bella. It will be
fine."

"I've for a few extras I can spare," she said. Her mood had gotten so much brighter, I didn't argue
with her any further.

Bella continued her slow walk through the brush, tracing branches with her fingers and leaving
hairs wherever she thought the wind wouldn't carry them away. Though I could tell she was still
happy with the progress she was making and the help she was able to offer, something in her
expression was off. Her eyes were distant and unfocused, and something told me it wasn't concern
about the fight that was troubling her.

"You don't need to let Alice have her way, you know," I offered, and the slight jump of her heart
told me I'd guessed right.

"Don't worry about it, Edward," she said, trying to sound nonchalant. "I'm not going to leave you at
the altar, regardless."

"That's not what I'm worried about," I promised. "I want this to be what you want it to be."

Bella took a deep breath, and I could hear the words she wouldn't utter. None of this was what she
wanted, but, as always, she would go along with whatever would make everyone else happy. I
wanted to tell her that the moment the fight was over, she and I would disappear. We'd go
somewhere, anywhere, as long as we were together. We could get married on some far away island
and she wouldn't have to tell a soul. I wanted to make her happy – but I also wanted everything
Alice had seen.

I wanted Bella in a beautiful gown, with flowers in her hair and all around her. I wanted her parents
there to see her joy, because, although they would never know the magnitude of what choosing me
– of choosing this life – meant, they should know that their daughter was marrying someone who
loves her more than anything. I wanted them to know I would always take care of her. I wanted
Esme and Carlise to witness the moment when Bella would officially join our family, and to
welcome her with open arms. I wanted to shout to the world that, although I deserved none of it, I
was getting everything I could ever ask for and more.

I wanted it all, but because I loved Bella more than my own life, I admitted none of it.

"Well," I said, infusing my tone with as much casual indifference as I could muster, "even if she
does get her way, we can keep it small. Just us. Emmett can get a clerical license off the Internet."

She laughed, and I knew with even more certainty that the only thing I cared about was making her
happy. "That does sound better," she said.

"See. There's always a compromise."

I watched as she continued making a trail, and it wasn't long before I could hear Jacob's thoughts in
the distance. I was surprised to hear him thinking about the night ahead as much as I was. He was
planning on staying with us so we could communicate with the rest of the group, and Seth would
take his place just before the fight. I wasn't thrilled with the idea, but I was glad he was giving Seth
the chance to rest tonight. I wanted Seth at his best tomorrow, since he was our only connection to
the fight.

Jacob wasn't far, and would be at the clearing shortly. He was running in his wolf form, but had
decided to arrive human. Though he was surprised and delighted at the easy way Bella appeared to
accept him as a wolf, he'd never really gotten over the fear that he would scare her. He kept waiting
for her to be frightened at the monster he was. I laughed under my breath, because for once, I
understood exactly how he felt.

When we arrived at the place Alice saw as our most advantageous position for the fight, Bella made
one last circle, touching everything in her path, and then we began the return trip. I tried to let Bella
lead – oddly enough, she seemed to be almost enjoying herself – but a few times, I could tell she
was feeling lost. Once she saw the place where we'd begun our journey, her pace sped up, and I was
about to remind her to be careful, but I was too late. Before I had time to catch her, Bella was in a
heap on the ground. I smelled her blood instantly.

"Ouch!" she called out, then mumbled, "oh, fabulous."

"Are you all right?"I asked without moving. It only took a moment to realize that I was hesitating
more out of habit than any other reason, and I felt a wave of relief.

"I'm fine. Stay where you are," she answered quickly. "I'm bleeding. It will stop in a minute."

I felt triumphant as I flew to her side, grateful that I could finally help her instead of having to hold
my breath and shy away. "I've got a first aid kid," I told her, reaching into the backpack. "I had a
feeling I might need it."

"It's not bad. I can take care of it – you don't have to make yourself uncomfortable."

"I'm not uncomfortable," I promised, ecstatic that it was the truth. "Here – let me clean it."

"Wait a second, I just got another idea," she said, her eyes lighting up in with a strange excitement
as she pressed her bleeding palm against a rock.

"What are you doing?"

"Jasper will love this," she said, hurrying to touch everything she could. "I'll bet this really gets
them going."

She misread my sigh and looked at me apologetically. "Hold your breath," she suggested.

"I'm fine. I just think you're going overboard."

"This is all I get to do. I want to do a good job."

I remembered with far too much clarity how quickly Jasper had lost control when she'd shed only a
few small drops of blood. This much was sure to leave the newborns crazed and unable to think
about anything but finding her – which made me more than a little apprehensive. Though I hated
how she would have to get there, I was grateful in that moment that Jacob's stench would be
covering her trail to our location.

"Well, you have," I told her, attempting a smile. "The newborns will be frantic, and Jasper will be
very impressed with your dedication. Now let me treat you hand – you've gotten the cut dirty."
"Let me do it, please."

I smiled as I took her hand, and felt a surge of pride as I was able to say with total confidence, "This
doesn't bother me anymore."

She watched me quizzically as I tended to her wound, and I felt my grin widen. I knew my instinct
to protect her had grown exponentially stronger after I thought I'd lost her, and I found that in the
times when I did feel some twinges of blood lust, it was almost immediately replaced by fear that I
could somehow hurt her. I'd felt how greatly things had changed, yet in this circumstance, with her
all but flaunting her blood – which still sang to me like no other – it was a very satisfying feeling to
know there wasn't even a hint of temptation.

Her palm was clean, and as I finished wrapping the bandage around it when she finally asked, "Why
not?"

Not sure how best to describe it – after all, it should be an impossibility – I simply shrugged. "I got
over it."

"You . . . got over it?" she gasped. "When? How?"

As much as I hated to think about that dark day, the longest of my endless life, I owed her the best
explanation I could manage. I thought back to how it had felt – the moment when I'd first learned
what Alice had seen, and then when Jacob said the words that seemingly confirmed my worst fears.
I felt almost numb as I remembered how my vision had clouded and my heart sank. There was an
emptiness within me I'd never felt, and I could think of nothing other than, I can't exist without her.

When she came to me again, when she'd saved me in every way, it was almost enough to make me
believe I still had a soul. Something far beyond my body or my mind was reaching out to her,
embracing her. I felt a shift in the essence of my being, and it changed everything about the way I
viewed the world. I'd been granted a reprieve, a second chance I shouldn't have been allowed, and
what came of it was more than my simply making another vow to protect Bella.

All of the deplorable instincts I'd fought for so long shut down. I was thirstier than I'd ever been,
having nearly starved myself in the weeks before, yet I felt no ache or burn when she was wrapped
in my arms. There was only joy. And when the burn did return, as always it must, I silenced it with
a vehemence that came from somewhere in my subconscious. My need to protect her from
everything, including myself, had taken on a life of its own.

"I lived through an entire twenty-four hours thinking that you were dead, Bella. That changed the
way I look at a lot of things."

"Did it change the way I smell to you?" she asked, still confused.

"Not at all. But . . . having experienced the way it feels to think I've lost you... my reactions have
changed. My entire being shies away from any course that could inspire that kind of pain again."

I wasn't sure if I was explaining it right, but her expression conveyed something close to gratitude.
Truly, I was grateful above all else, so I hoped that meant she understood. "I guess that you could
call it a very educational experience."

She looked like she wanted to say more, but the wind picked up and I saw her shiver. I retrieved her
heavier jacket and helped her into it. "All right. You've done your part. Now it's out of our hands.
Let's go camping!"

She laughed at my sarcasm, and I gently took her hand in mine, wishing we had just a few more
minutes together before I had to leave her in Jacob's care. I'd been carefully tuning him out since I'd
first heard his approach, but at the sight of us together, his internal monologue grew too loud to
ignore.

For him thinking he's such a great protector, she sure does get hurt a lot, he thought icily, staring at
her bandaged hand.

"Where are we meeting Jacob?" Bella asked, not having spotted him yet.

"Right here."

Jacob stepped slowly out from the trees until he was in full view. Don't know why I bothered, he
thought, irritated as he bunched up the jacket he carried. Of course the psychic knew it was going to
be cold. Should have just left it in the forest.
It would never cease to amaze me, Jacob's ability to get caught up on such petty things as whose
jacket Bella would wear, when there was so many more important things going on. His juvenile
concerns did not make me feel confident about the important task he was about to take on.

"There had to have been a better way to do this."

"Too late now," Bella sighed, squeezing my hand. Then she put on her best smile, one that I
recognized as taking a great deal of effort. "Hey, Jake," she said casually.

"Hi, Bella."

"Hello, Jacob," I said calmly.

Yeah, whatever. "Where do I take her?"

I took out the map showing our destination, and handed it to Jacob. "We're here now," I said,
gesturing to our location. Jacob recoiled, staring at my hand in disgust, like vampirism was a
disease he could catch. I didn't give him the satisfaction of a response. "And you're taking her up
here," I explained, tracing the route to the top. "Roughly nine miles."

Outwardly, Jacob nodded, the picture of compliance, but I could hear fleeting thoughts of taking
Bella somewhere else entirely so he could protect her. If it weren't for his compulsive need to fight
and destroy, I might have worried he would act on the notion.

"When you're about a mile away, you should cross my path. That will lead you in. Do you need the
map?"

Jacob glanced at me for a split second and I knew he could tell by my tone that I'd heard what he
was considering. "No, thanks," he said flatly. "I know this area pretty well. I think I know where I'm
going." I'm not going to kidnap her. I wouldn't miss this fight for anything.

"I'll take a longer route. And I'll see you in a few hours." Then I turned to Bella and tried to find the
courage to leave. I didn't want her with Jacob, even knowing he would bring her safely to me. Our
enemies were so close now, it seemed wrong for us not to be together.
"See you," she said softly, and I knew I had no choice. We needed Jacob's stench to cover up the
trail. I left without another word, fearing that I might say something to make Bella feel badly. This
was our only option, and I wouldn't let her worry about how much it was upsetting me.

I ran as fast as I could, determined not to listen in on their conversation. The farther away I was, the
harder it was to hear Jacob's thoughts. For the first few miles, I filled my mind with everything from
foreign languages, to songs, to poetry. As I struggled to keep everything around me out, I started to
laugh – this must be what Alice felt like when trying to block me from reading her mind.

When I was far enough away, I let my thoughts clear and was happy to find my mind silent. I tried
to enjoy it, but the quiet didn't feel nearly as peaceful as it had the night before, when Bella had
been beside me. Now, the sounds of the trees rustling and the wind around me, just reminded me
that I was alone.

It was amazing how much the world had changed since finding Bella. There was a time when I
would have given anything to retreat to a silent sanctuary like that, to get away from the chatter and
the internal angst of everyone around me. Now, all I wanted was to be with Bella, and wherever she
wanted us to spend our life, whatever she wanted to do, that was fine. I would go to Alaska to help
her avoid temptation. I would endure decade after decade of repeating high school or college or
anything else that made her happy. Though I had to admit, a few years alone together in some
remote location, away from humans, and even my family – simply away – that had possibilities.

It was dangerous to let my imagination get away from me when there was so much at stake over the
next twenty-four hours. I continued in my hurried pace until I reached the place we would be setting
up the camp site. The chill in the air was getting harder to ignore, and as the wind started to pick up,
I could see the snow beginning to fall. I set up the tent, then secured it until I was certain wild
grizzlies couldn't knock it down. Perhaps I'd gone a bit overboard, but only time would tell how
violent the elements would be tonight, and I preferred to err on the side of caution.

In my struggled not to think about where Jacob and Bella were, and what they were talking about, I
let my thoughts drift somewhere I'd purposely been ignoring – the fight. My family wasn't upset by
my decision to stay with Bella, and they were no less certain of a victory than they'd been when I
was planning to fight with them. Still, it didn't make the choice any easier. Although I felt confident
things would all go as planned, there was something nagging at the back of my mind, almost as if
we were missing something extraordinarily obvious that would change everything. Perhaps it was
the simple fact that, while I was grateful for the connection Seth would be able to give us to the
pack, I never imagined I would be watching the fight helplessly, through the eyes of a wolf.

I didn't know how long I'd let my mind wander, but sooner than I'd expected, I could hear Jacob's
thoughts.

Just give it a rest, Bella. Please, not now. This is so not something I wanted to be talking about
today.

I'd made such an effort not to listen in, but curiosity started to get the better of me. I had to know
what Bella was discussing that would make him so frustrated.

"Well, if it's about the lineage . . . shouldn't you be the chief, then?" Bella was asking. Jacob then
proceeded to talk around the fact that he had, in fact, shirked responsibility, and let Sam take his
place as leader of the pack.

I supposed I had no right to judge – it was a huge responsibility, one that I'm not sure I would ever
have stepped up to. I often thought about what Carlisle did for our family, the decisions he made,
and I don't know whether I would have had that kind of strength. Sam had many of the same
obligations, teaching the new wolves what he knew and helping them transition. He also had the
overwhelming responsibility of making certain orders irrefutable. It would be a difficult thing to do
– deciding when it was best to command with that kind of authority, not to leave anything to
chance.

I tried to ignore the remainder of Bella and Jacob's conversation, but it was impossible not to hear
the air of wonderment in Bella's voice when she tried out the words, "Chief Jacob." I busied myself
with checking the tent for probably the dozenth time, then took to pacing. There was nothing left for
me to do, and with the snow blustering around me, all I could think about was getting Bella under
shelter. Just when I thought I wouldn't be able to stand the wait any longer, I heard Jacob's
footsteps.

"Bella!" I cried when they stepped into sight, and I flew to her side. Jacob muttered something, his
thoughts even more impolite than what he was letting show on his face, but I couldn't bring myself
to care. My arms wound tightly around Bella, and the world was right again.
"Thank you," I said, looking at Jacob, unable to feel anything but gratitude. "That was quicker than
I expected, and I truly appreciate it."

It wasn't for your benefit, he thought, shrugging absently. "Get her inside. This is going to be bad –
my hair's standing up on my scalp. Is that tent secure?"

"I all but welded it to the rock."

"Good." Jacob lifted his eyes to the storm, breathing it in as if he could feel exactly how rough this
was going to get.

I'm sure you already know I'm staying tonight, since you never seem to be able to stay out of my
head. I don't like it any more than you, but you need to be able to stay in touch with everyone.
Speaking of which –

"I'm going to change," he said, looking only at Bella. "I want to know what's going on back home."

He walked away, muttering things I would never repeat to Bella. I looked at her in time to see the
forlorn expression she quickly tried to hide, and though she'd never say it to me, I knew what she
wanted.

He'd never agree to it like I had, and quite possibly, she would never ask, but I knew Bella wanted
Jacob to stay out of the fight too
 Fire and ice 22

I cursed the snow, temperature the howling wind. And the

circumstances that required this fool hardy plan. I cursed Jacob and
his incessant ramblings towards me... This was nothing compared to
the pain I threw at myself, for once again putting Bella’s life in
danger.

I knew the worst had not begun and Bella was already an unhealthy
shade of blue.
Perhaps I should run her back to the house. We could be there in
less than ten minutes... but would that be even more dangerous?
Firstly, the exposure to the elements at high speeds... secondly,
exposure to the newborns, should our flight create a new trail for
them to pick up our sent – and whoever was with them.

I wanted, more than anything, to go to her, hold her and have the
ability to warm her –but I knew my body would only chill her
further. I was completely useless. I was endangering her life, yet
again and I could do nothing

“W-w-w-w-w-what t-t-t-t-time is it?” Bella asked, each tooth chatter

stabbing my resolve.
Maybe we should go.

“Two” From the sound of the wind, we still had four, maybe five
hours before the storm broke-and at least another two hours before
the temperature hit the bottom. What to do? I ran my hand
through my hair in frustration.

What’s he trying to do- turn her into a vampire through frost bite? He
says he loves her, and yet she suffers... Jacob thought as he was pacing
round the tent She would have been safer in La Push stupid
bloodsucker. He finally came to rest curled up outside the front of the
tent.

I hated to admit that I agreed with him at this particular moment.

“Maybe...?”

“No, I’m f-f-f-f-f-fine, r-r-r-r-really. I don’t w-w-w-want to g-go

outside.” She responded.

If only we’d made a run for it the first time the thought had occurred
to me- or the first time Jacob grumbled about it – Bella would be
warm and safe – for now... But she wouldn’t go. She didn’t want to
waste our efforts- but what would our efforts be worth if she froze?
Besides, the newborns would still be led to the meadow. We didn’t
have to wait here...

If only I could do something... anything. I filed through my

knowledge of human anatomy and survival for any insignificant
piece information that might allow me to relive the cold for her.
Outside Jacob was also feeling helpless and glum, albeit with a tenor
of accusation, He also, wished we’d made a run for it hours ago.

This isn’t good – it’s too cold for her for too long.. We need to get her
to a warm place,

“What can I do?” I almost begged her. It was torture to see her in
pain like this.

Thinking I was asking her, she just shook her head.

She can’t take much more of this. Jacob whined allowed.

Concerned for his safety, Bella called “G-g-g-g-get out of here.”

“He’s worried about you. He’s fine. His body is equipped to deal with
this.” I reassured her, frustrated that in the midst of her pain, she
would worry about... him.
Unlike hers, Jacob grumbled back. Why don’t you do something, you
useless bloodsucker... Get her out of here!
“What do you want me to do? Carry her through that? I don’t see you
making yourself useful. Why don’t you go fetch a space heater or
something?”
“I’m ok-k-k-k-Kay” Bella chattered back
I’ll get you a space heater...Let me in! He snapped unzipping the tent,
like you said MY body is better equipped to deal with this – unlike
yours.
I shuddered at the thought as the image in his head explicitly
demonstrating what he meant by a space heater.
“That was hardly necessary. And that’s the worst idea I’ve ever
heard.”
“Better than anything you’ve come up with” Jacob said “Go fetch a
space heater... I’m not a St. Bernard.”
As quickly as he could, he made his was towards the sleeping bag
Bella was occupying. Bella shivered more violently... way to go, mutt.
“I don’t like this just. Just give her the coat and get out.”
You know that’s not going to work- she needs warmed up...
“W-w-w-w-w” Bella was going into hypothermia. I was starting to
get frantic – but the thought of him...

“The parka’s for tomorrow- she’s too cold to warm it up by herself.

It’s frozen” He dropped it by the tent entrance to prove his
point.”You said you needed a space heater, and here I am”
“J-j-j-j-Jake, you’ll f-f-f-freeze” Bella chattered
“Not me, I run a toasty one-oh-eight point nine these days. I’ll have
you sweating in no time.”
The accompanying image of her in his arms- or rather his hands all
over her was almost too much... No, there had to be other options...
I grabbed his shoulder as he started to unzip her sleeping bad,
Venom flowed to my mouth, scorching my throat and burning
through my veins as the urge to kill rose within me. I had wanted
nothing more than a good reason to fight Jacob, and fight him to the
death over the past several months... But that impulse had to be
repressed. Tearing up the tent, hurting Bella in the process, wasn’t
an option.
I saw my monster, my fury... My murderous glare reflected in Jacob’s
face. “Get your hand off me leach” he growled.
“Keep your hands off her” I warned, I didn’t need much more of a
reason to tear them off his body.
“D-d-d-don’t f-f-f-fight.” Bella protested.
She’s going in to shock... are you really going to refuse to help her?
I glared back in response, not loosening my grip.
“I’m sure she’ll thank you for this when her toes turn black and drop
off.” He said out loud- for her benefit. You know this is the only way. If
you refuse, you’re basically signing her death warrant- but I guess you
wouldn’t really care about that, would you, Leach?
I did care- and he was right- this would help her- and I hated him for
it... and hated my cold dead body for not being able to do this myself.
I slunk back to my corner, giving him a warning glare, “Watch
yourself...”
Ha..ha He thought as he chuckled to himself as he knew he won. I
cringed as his anticipation- his eagerness to be in the sleeping bad
with her. Yes, he wanted her to be safe and warm- but that wasn’t all
he wanted.

“Scoot over. Bella” he eagerly opened the bag, preparing to snuggle

in. I froze in place, willing myself to stay in the corner.

A part of my mind registered the glare- the outrage in Bella’s eyes I

was pleased. She wasn’t happy about this either. I half hoped she
would outright refuse- however I realized this was necessary... for
her health...

“N-n-n-n” She was too far gone to protest.

“Don’t be stupid Jacob spat. Don’t you like having ten toes?”

I caught the image of her beautiful, delicate feet in his mind as he

crammed in to the sleeping bag and zipped it up... He was holding
her to him trying to warm her up as quickly as possible. Though I
could see it was having an immediate effect her condition, it took
every ounce of self control to not reach across and pulling him out
by his head.

It’s a good thing I got in when I did leach, she’s freezing. She’s colder
than you .He thought as he snuggled up to her. In his mind I knew
when her fingers pressed against him, with the mixture of pain and
pleaser in response. “Jeez you’re freezing Bella.”

“S-s-s-sorry.”

Don’t be –he’s hot... I wanted to tell her.

“Try to relax, you’ll be warm in a minute.” He looked up at me then
and added, as he stared across the tent, “Of course, you’d warm up
faster if you took your clothes off.”

I growled in response.

Ha- ha, he laughed in his head, “That’s just a simple fact. Survival one
–oh-one.”

“C-c-c-cut it out, Jake N-n-n-nobody really n-n-n-needs all ten

t-t-t-toes.” Bella objected.

She was already improving- and if I attacked, it would only play into
Jacob’s hand, so I stayed in my place. I needed to calm myself;
otherwise it was going to be a very long night.

“Don’t worry about the bloodsucker” he was egging me on, “He’s just
jealous.”

Well, if you are going to play games, I’ll play too. I can be the bigger
man here, plus I can remind her of every night we’ve been together
over the past months... “Of course I am” I said with every ounce of
smoothness... calmness I possessed “You don’t have the faintest idea
how much I wish I could do what you’re doing for her, mongrel.”

“Those are the breaks.” He looked down at Bella, thinking of how

heavenly she felt, wishing she would be willing to stay in his arms,
“At least you know she wishes it was you”

“True” I noticed that her shivering was all but gone and some of her
color was returning. I was relieved.

“There, feeling better?” He asked her

“Yes” she said clearly.

As much as I hated this, I was grateful he was helping her...

“Your lips are still blue. Want me to warm those up for you too? You
only have to ask.”

He smirked as he looked at me. Not that grateful, I thought. I exhaled

loudly and gave him a warning look.

Hey you can’t blame a guy for trying... The images in his head were
distasteful

“Behave yourself ” Bella echoed my thoughts. However, then she

pressed her face against his shoulder and he jumped again, as the
coolness of her skin sent shivers through his body. Then I saw
fumbling in the lower part of the sleeping bag and, in his thoughts I
saw her press her cold feet to his legs. What was she doing? I could
only hope she had no idea of the impact of her actions on Jacob’s
body- and his thoughts- in her attempt to get warm.

See she likes us warm blooded men, He fired back in his mind, as he
placed his face against her cold ear, Breathing in her scent.

I continued to sit in the corner of the over crowed tent, unable to

look away from the scene before me. It was impossible not to notice
how she had completely relaxed, how comfortable she looked in his
arms. I shoved back the jealousy, the inadequacies, and tried to not
feel anything- not to think... or to think of something else... but there
was nothing else but Bella. I reminded myself that she had said “Yes”
to me last night and replayed those moments over in my mind. Only,
at this very moment, they seemed so long ago.
She was warm now and was talking to Jacob. “Why are you so much
furrier than your friends? You don’t have to answer if I’m being
rude.”

“Because my hair is longer” She noticed! He was pleased.

“Oh. Then why don’t you cut it? Do you like being shaggy?”

His combination of embarrassment and chagrin amused me. He

didn’t want to admit his reason to grow is wondered if “shaggy”
could possibly be a good thing. Not likely. He met my eyes. Don’t you
dare tell her! His eyes glaring at me, I never agreed to fight fair I
spoke so quietly that Bella could not hear. I started to laugh under
my breath.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry”. Yawning and saying “You don’t have to
tell me.” Bella responded drowsily.

His eyes narrowed as he knew what I would do, “Oh he’ll tell you
anyway, so I might as well, I was growing my hair out because... it
seemed like you liked it better long.”

“Oh, I err, like it both ways. Jake. You don’t need to be...
inconvenienced.”

“Turns out to be very convenient tonight, so don’t worry about it.”

He thought about how her cooler body felt, pressed against his, as
she snuggled closer, drifting towards sleep. “That’s right honey, go
to sleep” He said I shook my head, trying to erase the image, when
another voice entered my mind.

Hey Jake where are you? The thoughts were accompanied with a
howl.

“Seth is here.” I informed him.

“Perfect. Now you can keep an eye on everything else, while I take
care of your girlfriend for you.” Her soft arms curled up against his
chest, his arms around her fragile frame...

“Stop it” Bella complained, echoing my silent plea.

I could hear the worst of the storm was hitting now and it would
soon begin to die down. We were almost through the worst of it.
Bella’s breathing began to deepen. Good I thought she needs to
sleep. I watched her, as I had for so many nights. I knew every stage
of her sleep. And I could tell she was drifting, but yet awake enough
to hear and, if she was paying attention, to hear what was going on. I
tried to remain silent for her sake, so she could sleep.

As Jake had, not so innocently suggested, I focused on Seth’s mind to

see if there was any news I needed to be aware of. I guessed that all
was well because at that moment, Seth was asleep and there were
no other voices coming through from Sam or the others. As I
listened, I was intrigued with his dream...

He was in the clearing, besides Leah at the back of the pack. The
newborns were approaching. The wolves were pairing off against
each newborn. He and Leah chose one, circling around. An image of
Jasper’s instruction floated in his mind, a shared link with the entire
pack. Leah made the first move. The newborn lunged. Seth saw his
opening- he closed in quickly and tore his head off the body, while
Leah closed in on its leg. It was over quickly and Seth padded over to
the pack, with a sense of pride. I was struck with the selflessness-
the purity of his dream. His joy was in the contribution to the pack,
and belonging. He didn’t need to be the hero or receive praise... he
was noble.

Another dream took over him. His arm was around Bella. His hand
grazing down her back, going lower, caressing her hips. He pulled
her leg up as his lips crushed hers, his tongue sought hers. His other
hand was at Bella’s waist, smoothing her bare skin under her
blouse... then reaching higher... I suddenly realized it wasn’t Seth’s
voice I was hearing.

“Please”... “Do you mind?!” I hissed as Jacob, interrupting the path of

his fantasy before...

“What?”

“Do you think you could attempt to control your thoughts?” Anger
and bloodlust flared up in me again and again I had to force myself
to not rip Jacob out of the sleeping bag by his long hair...

“No one said you had to listen” he snapped too quickly “Get out of
my head.”

“I wish I could. You have no idea how loud your little fantasies are.
It’s like your shouting them at me.”

“I’ll try to keep it down.” He whispered sarcastically... I’ll bet it just

makes you burn that I could do those things with her without
threatening her life. I can be a real boyfriend a real man with her- a
real life with her. And not worry that one wrong move could crush her!
I’m sure you can’t even give her children... or a real life. I could give
her so much more than you, Leach!

“Yes” I answered dimly. He was right. In so many ways Bella would

be better with him. She could have a real and full life. He could give
her those things I never could, “I’m jealous of that too.”

“I figured it was like that... sort of evens the playing field up a little
doesn’t it.”You would think so he added silently looking at me, But
Bella still chose me I chuckled, “In yours dreams.” Realizing how
recently true that was.

“You know, she still change her mind” Jacob taunted, “Considering
all the things I could do with her that you can’t. At least not without
killing her, that is,” He illustrated exactly what he could do with his
thoughts...

I frowned as I tried to ignore the images; they were a minor

irritation in comparison with his words, for this struck at my
uneasiness over Bella’s and my agreement for marriage- and the
following activity’s... Despite Carlisle’s reassurance, I still worried. I
didn’t need to think about that tonight- and I certainly didn’t want to
hear any more from Jacob’s mind- from his fantasies.

“Go to sleep Jacob. You’re starting to get on my nerves.”

“I think I will. I’m really very comfortable.” He looked at me

knowingly as he consciously thought about her rich hair flowing
over his arm, her cool soft body curled up against his, lightly
caressing him with each breath, her scent the way her hands now
lay against his bare chest...

I tore my mind away, searching for a distraction. I concentrated on

Seth’s earlier dream and considered how it echoed my own feelings.
If it weren’t for Bella’s wishes, I would be down at the clearing
tomorrow- fighting for Bella’s life. I, too, wanted to contribute- to be
there with my family- instead of being up here, useless, not able to
keep Bella safe from the elements...
Jacob’s words had sunk in- at the very heart of my insecurity. I
wasn’t blind to the fact that her life would be greater with him. But
she chose me. She said “Yes” to me... And I was selfish enough to
honor that choice. However, I worried- would she ever change her
mind? Would she tell me “No” and choose Jacob, and the life he
could give her instead?

Man he looks like he’s about to bust a brain cell. What I wouldn’t give
to see inside his head... ya, he’d never let me...

“Maybe I would” I responded to his unmasked question.

“But would you be honest?” He was skeptical- and rightly so.

Would I be totally honest about how I truly felt? Probably not. But
there were some things I would be willing to share, a certain level that
I could go to, especially if it stopped his annoying fantasies.

“You can always ask and see” I challenged him.

“Well, you see inside my head- let me see inside yours tonight, its
only fair.”

“Your head is full of questions. Which one do you want me to

answer?” Then I can decide if I’m willing...

“The jealousy... it has to be eating at you. You can’t be as sure of

yourself as you seem. Unless you have no emotions at all.” Or are you
a heartless leach?

He struck straight at the issue that plagued me the most- one I

wasn’t really eager to share with him- my insecurity over my hold
on Bella- my worry that she might, some day, wake up and realize
how much more he could give her than I. No I wasn’t willing to open
up completely to him, but perhaps I could answer honestly...

“Of course is it. Right now it’s so bad that I can barely control my
voice. Of course it’s even worse when she’s away from me, with you,
and I can’t see her.”

I was aware that Bella’s breathing still wasn’t deep as when she was
fully asleep... I wasn’t positive, but I was pretty sure she could still
hear, and if so, she would be listening. I would have to choose my
responses carefully.

“Do you think about it at all the time? Does it make it hard to
concentrate when she’s not with you?”Cause that’s how I feel all the
time...

“Yes and no” I tried to find a way for him to understand, “My mind
doesn’t work quite the same as yours. I can think of many more
things at one time. Of course that means that. I’m always able to
think of you, always able to wonder if that’s where her mind is,
when she’s quiet and thoughtful.”

I wonder, dose she really think of me? When I’m nit around? Could
that be true?

“Yes, I would guess that she thinks about you often.” I answered his
unspoken question, frowning at remembrances of all times I wanted
to see inside her head, like now, wondering what she thought of this
conversation... “More often than I like. She worries that you’re
unhappy. Not that you don’t know that. Not that you don’t use that.”
My accusation was for Bella’s benefit- let her consider that...

“I have to use whatever I can. I’m not working with your

advantages- advantages like her knowing she’s in love with you,” He
admitted.

“Yes, that helps.” But that could change... would it? I wondered.

“She’s in love with me, too you know.” Jacob insisted

I didn’t deny it. I suspected it to be true. My foolish departure had

brought them together- he filled the hole I created, and for that I
suffered the connection he made in her life- the connection that was
still there. It was my own doing, my fault.

“But she doesn’t know it” he sighed...

“I can’t tell you if you’re right.” I answered honestly, if not

completely...

“Does it bother you? Do you wish you could see what she’s thinking,
too?”

If he could read my thoughts at this moment I would have been

yelling Yes... So again I answered honestly “Yes...and no, again she
likes it better this way, and though it sometimes drives me insane,
I’d rather she was happy.”

The wind suddenly gusted around the tent in the storm’s last furor
before retreat, sending a chill through the air. Jacob reflexively
tightened his grip protectively and, for once, his thoughts were pure.
I felt a wave of gladness, of appreciation for him then- glad he was
here to keep her warm, if not entirely happy with the meant. In the
end, it was a small price to pay to have her alive... to have her for
eternity. I could see, from his perspective, he gained very little by
this. He had a night to hold her body, but, in the end, she would be
with me- at least I hoped- and his actions would only prolong his
suffering as he would stand by and watch her choose me over him.
In a sense, his actions were selfless...

“Thank you” I admitted, “Odd as this might sound. I suppose I’m glad
you’re here, Jacob.”

“You mean, as much as I’d love to kill you, I’m glad she’s warm,
right?”

Yes, that was about right. “It’s an uncomfortable truce, isn’t it?”

“I knew you were just as crazy jealous as I am,” He was pleased by

the revelation.

“I’m not such a fool as to wear it on my sleeve like you do.”

anymore... recalling my earlier attempts to keep them apart. Carlisle
gad given me the same basic advice then that I passed on to him
now, “It doesn’t help your case, you know.”

“You have more patience then I do.”

“I should. I’ve had a hundred years to gain it. Of waiting for her.”

“So... at what point did you decide to play the very patient good
guy?”

“When I saw how much it was hurting her to make her choose. It’s
not usually this difficult to control. I can smother the...” Hate, fury,
desire to tear you limb from limb “..Less civilized feelings I may have
for you fairly easily most of the time. Sometimes I think she sees
through me, but I can’t be sure.”
“I think you were just worried that if you really forced her to choose,
she might not choose you.”

She already choose me dog! I wanted to wipe that smug look off his
face... but Bella... “That was part of it, but only a small part. We all
have our moments of doubt.” “Mostly I was worried that she’d hurt
herself trying to sneak away to see you. After I’d accepted that she
was more or less safe with you- as safe as Bella ever is”- I smiled
grimly at her perchance for trouble, especially given the current
circumstances, “It seemed best to stop driving her to extremes.”

“I’d tell her all this, but she’d never believe me.”

Oh I’m pretty sure she’s been listening the entire time, I chuckled, “I
know,” was all I said.

“You think you know everything,” he grumbled.

“I don’t know the future.” Even with Alice’s vision, as clear and as
strong as it is. I can’t be sure she will always be mine. If she changes
her mind, Alice’s vision will be replaced with a new one... And who’s
to say she’ll even stick with me once we are married? Once she’s
changed, she could hate me for dooming her to this existence... the
depth of my self-doubt, my uncertainty, wasn’t something I was
willing to share with either of them.

“What would you do if she changed her mind?”

“I don’t know that either.” I was still in my worries.

Jacob laughed at the thought- the anticipation... “Would you trya nd

kill me?” His thoughts betrayed his over confidence in his ability to
defeat me if it came to that. I wondered if he’d ever have the
opportunity to test that theory, and find out otherwise...

“No” I answered again truthfully.

“Why not?” afraid of defeat? He taunted.

“Do you really think I would hurt her that way?”

Oh. I never thought of it that way... “Yeah, you’re right. I know that;s
right. But sometimes..”

“Sometimes it’s an intriguing idea” I admitted.

Jacob stifled a burst of laughter as that in his sleeping bag... “Exactly”

He was quiet for a moment, mistakenly making sure Bella was still
asleep.

“What is it like? Losing her?” He started back again satisfied that his
sudden outburst appeared to have not disturbed her. “When you
thought that you’d lost her forever? How did you... cope?”

His question was more than mere curiosity as he thought to when

she chose to become a vampire. This was, in his mind, death. I had
enough compassion to see that he needed some words of comfort-
but to recall those dark hours...

“That’s very difficult for me to talk about” I said quietly.

Jacob was, for once, quiet in both voice and mind... waiting... perhaps
looking for some hope once she was truly gone. I took a deep breath
and tried to say as much as I could, understanding I had no hope to
give him. I simply could not exist without her. I started with the
easiest place.
“There were two different times that I thought that. The first time,
when I thought I could leave her... that was... bearable. Because I
thought that she would forget me and it would be like I hadn’t
touched her life. For over six months I was able to stay away, to keep
my promise that I wouldn’t interfere again. It was getting close- I
was fighting myself but I knew I wasn’t going to win; I would have to
come back...”just to check on her. “That’s what I would have told
myself, anyway. And if I’d found her reasonably happy”... I cringed at
the thought of how close it almost became. “I like to think that I could
have gone away again.”

“But she wasn’t happy. And I would have stayed. That’s how she
convinced me to stay with her tomorrow, of course. You were
wondering about that before, what could possibly motivate me...
what she was feeling so needlessly guilty about. She reminded me of
what it did to her when I left- what it does to her when I leave. She
feels horrible about bringing that up, but she’s right I’ll never be able
to make up for that, but I’ll never stop trying anyway.” I hoped she
really heard what I had said then, and accepted the words as truth
as she believed that I would think she was sleeping. I hoped that, if
she really heard and believed, it might bring her some comfort... and
healing.

Jacob was picturing the day he demonstrated to me so vividly

exactly what it had done to her, wondering if he hadn’t, would I be
here in the tent now. Or would he be here alone with Bella? He
shook his head, realizing the entire “camping trip” would not have
happened if not for his pain. It was a passing thought...

The he considered my earlier conversation. I saw him in Bella’s

truck, embracing her, bending down to kiss her... the possible
surrender in her eyes... before suddenly freezing up. What if he’d
had a few more days, weeks, months...? Maybe he could have made
her happy- and I would have left? Would they be together now? The
possibility- how close he believed he had come to having her... was
tangible in his mind. It gave him hope it was still possible- making
the alternative all the more unbearable.

“And the other time- when you thought she was dead?” He pictured
Bella- perfected and pale, cold with golden eyes and shivered at the
thought.

“Yes, it will probably feel like that to you, won’t it? The way you
perceive us, you might not be able to see her as Bella anymore. But
that’s who she’ll be.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I can’t tell you how it felt. There aren’t words.” The emotion of that
memory over took me and I hated him for bringing it to mind.

Jacob tightened his grip on Bella, fearful for her as he saw me lose
control for a moment. As if would or could ever hurt her...

“But you left because you didn’t want to make her a bloodsucker.
You want her to be human.” The image of how close he believed he’d
gotten was still close to mind... a fragrant aroma... i realized now he
would fight harder the before...

I calmed myself as I explained... trying to make both of them

understand, “Jacob, from the second that I realized that I loved her, I
knew there were only four possibilities. The first alternative, the
best one for Bella, would be that she didn’t feel as strongly for me- if
she got over me and moved on. I would accept that, though it would
never change the way I felt. You think of me as... living stone- hard
and cold. That’s true. We are set the way we are, and it is very rare
for us to experience a real change. When that happens, as when
Bella entered my life, it is a permanent change. There’s no going
back”...

“The second alternative, the one I’d originally chosen, was to stay
with her throughout her human life. It wasn’t a good option for her,
to waste her life with someone who couldn’t be human with her, but
it was the alternative I could mostly easily face. Knowing all along
that, when she died, I would find a way to die too, Sixty years,
seventy years- it would seem like a very, very short time to me...” I
pictured the incident with James... Her 18th birthday... “But then it
proved to be too dangerous for her to live in such close proximity
with my world. It seemed like everything that could go wrong did.
Or hung over us... waiting to go wrong. I was terrified that I wouldn’t
get those sixty years id I stayed near her while she was human.”

“So I chose option three.” I cringed as the thought, “Which turned

out to be the worst mistake of my very long life, as you know. I chose
to take myself out of her world, hoping to force her into the first
alternative. It didn’t work, and it nearly killed us both.

“What do I have left is the fourth option? It’s what she wants- at
least, she thinks she dose. I’ve been trying to delay her, to give her
time to find a reason to change her mind, but she’s very” I sorted
through a list to find the right word “Stubborn. You know that. I’ll be
lucky to stretch this out a few more months. She has a horror of
getting older, and her birthday is in September...” and she has
agreed to marry me, after which, changing her may become
necessary... I wondered if, hearing this, she would see that staying
human was a better option. I shook my head, knowing her decision
was made.

“I like option one.” Jacob muttered, clinging to the hope that had
recently sprung within him. I wanted, so much to crush it- knowing
it would push him to fight even harder.
“You know exactly how much I hate to accept this, but I can see that
you do love her... in a way. I can’t argue with that anymore.”

I was amused, if not annoyed, at the argument he was beginning to

lay down, to convince me to walk away.

“Given that, I don’t think you should give up on the first alternative,
not yet,” He continued, “I think there ‘s a very good chance that she
would be okay. After time. You know, if she hadn’t jumped off that
cliff in March...” I could kick myself for not being there, for being late...
If I had shown up when I said... He wondered “and if you’d waited
another six months to check on her...” The vision came back to his
mind- where he had hoped they were headed, “Well, you might have
found her reasonably happy. I had a game plan.”

His memories flicked- hanging out in the garage- motorcycling- the

night at the movies where he insisted on holding her hand- his
attempts to hold her... to kiss her- playing on her sympathies... it
wasn’t much of a plan but he was persistent.

“Maybe it would have worked it was a well thought- out plan.” I lied,
chuckling

“Yeah” He sighed, realizing the lost opportunity... “But, give me a

year bl”- I guess I would get farther if I was polite he thought “Edward
I really think I could make her happy. She’s stubborn, no one knows
that better that I do, but she’s capable of healing. She would have
healed before. And she could be human, with Charlie and Renee, and
she could grow up, and have kids and ... be Bella.”

I saw the picture in his mind- the two of them in a small house in the
woods in La Push, kids running around the yard, Charlie coming
down for dinner... Renee, visiting at Christmas. With tenacious hope
he clung to that image.

“You love her enough that you have to see the advantages of that
plan. She thinks you’re very unselfish... are you really? Can you
consider that the idea that I might be better for her than you are?”

That vision-Jacob’s vision- was exactly the reasons for my

uncertainties. I feared that she would figure it out- and here he had
so carefully laid it all out in his arguments- her true option- life. And
I knew she heard it all... she was still, too still, she had heard and was
listening. Would she change her mind? As carefully as Jacob had laid
out his argument... more carefully, actually. I chose my words-
answering truthfully, but laying out my counter argument... fighting
back.

“I have considered it. In some ways, you would be better suited for
her than another human. Bella takes some looking after, and you’re
strong enough that you could protect her from herself, and from
everything that conspires against her. You have done that already,
and I’ll owe you for that for as long as I live- forever- whichever
comes first...”

“I even asked Alice if she could see that- see if Bella would be better
off with you. She couldn’t answer of course, she can’t see you, and
then Bella’s sure of her course, for now.”

“But I’m not stupid enough to make the same mistake I made before,
Jacob I won’t try to force her into that first option again. As long as
she wants me, I’m here.”

“And if she were to decide that she wanted me?”

 I raised an eyebrow, challenging his hope...

“Okay, it’s a long shot, I’ll give you that.” “I would let her go” I
answered truthfully, regretfully

“Just like that?” Don’t you love her at all?

I realized that might be the way my response looked to Bella as well.

I explained, “In the sense that I’d never show her how hard it was for
me, yes, but I would keep watch,” I was building to the crux of my
argument, the fact that I needed Bella to hear and consider, “you see,
Jacob, you might leave her someday. Like Sam and Emily, you
wouldn’t have a choice. I would always be waiting in the wings,
hoping for that to happen.”

As if that would ever happen to me, He snorted, “well, you’ve been

much more honest that I had any right to expect.”Bloodsucker
“Edward. Thanks for letting me in your head”

“As I said, I’m feeling oddly grateful for your presents in her life
tonight. It was the least I could do... You know, Jacob if it weren’t for
the fact that we’re natural enemies and that you’re also trying to
steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you.” I
was feeling generous.

“Maybe... if you weren’t a disgusting vampire who was planning to

suck out the life of the girl I love...well, no not even then.”

I chuckled at his honesty. “Can I ask you something?”

“Why would you have to ask?”

“I can only hear if you think of it. It’s just a story that Bella seemed
reluctant to tell me about the other day. Something about the thirt
wife...?”

“What about it?” He said as images of the story flooded his mind- a
woman in the center of a battle- a human-knife in her hand-stabbing
herself... the vampire drawn to the scent- the wolf closing in-
victorious, but at great loss... I hissed...

“What?”

It suddenly clicked together- her desire to be at the battle, pulling

out her hair, spreading her blood all over the path- she would
endanger her life to help us win. She would sacrifice her self... “Of
course! Of course!” Anger boiled up within me. Of all the foolish,
stupid stories to exposé her too- she didn’t need any further
encouragement to endanger her life- she did it quite enough on her
own. “I’d rather wish your elders had kept that story to themselves,
Jacob.”

“You don’t like the leeches being painted the bad guys? You know
they are. Then and now.”

Idiot! “I really couldn’t care less about that part. Can’t you guess
which character Bella would identify with?”

He flicked through the images while I cringed. His eyes widened and
eyebrows rose in understanding, “Oh Ugh. The third wife. Okay I see
your point.”

Only he didn’t, really- he hadn’t made the jump to the potential

consequences...

“She wants to be there in the clearing. To do what little she can, as

she puts it.” I sighed, now very glad that I was staying with her
tomorrow, “That was the secondary reason for my staying with her
tomorrow. She’s quite inventive when she wants something.”

I cringed at Jacob’s picturing her there in the clearing, amidst the

newborns, knife in hand I closed my eyes as if I could shut out the
vision.

“You know, your military brother gave her the idea just as much as
the story did”

Partially- he was right... I recalled the image Jasper had of her

standing in the clearing, driving the newborns mad while we easily
picked them off... and partially there would be nothing gained in
placing blame. She wouldn’t be there. “Neither side meant any
harm.”

“And when dose this little truce end?” Jacob asked, “First light? Or do
we wait till after the fight has ended?”

I listened to him consider and then spoke the words as he did, “First
light.”

“Sleep well, Jacob. Enjoy the moment.” I was strangely

magnanimous... and I was done sharing my innermost thoughts.
Plus, Bella still wasn’t in deep sleep. The part of her that loved us
both- that would worry for either of us being in pain, would keep
her alert, and she needed rest...

A russet hand, glazed down her back, cupping her posterior... then
further... the other hand traveling up from her waist... his tongue
pressed into her warm mouth... I groaned. At least he wasn’t very
original, or inventive. “I didn’t mean quite so literally.”

“Sorry you could leave you know- give us some privacy.”

Not on your life... Hmmm, on your life, that is intriguing... “Would you
like me to help you sleep, Jacob?”

“You could try. It would be interesting to see who walked away,

wouldn’t?” there was no doubt in his mind.

“Don’t tempt me too far, wolf. My patience isn’t that perfect.” There
was no doubt in mine either.

Jacob laughed, “I’d rather not move just now, if you don’t mind.”

Just to shove it in, his fantasy picked up where if left off. I briefly
imagined pulling him out of the sleeping bad, piece by piece... but the
I thought of Bella, lying peacefully... and so I replaced Jacob with
myself, reliving every moment of the previous night in perfected
clarity. Holding her in my arms as I hummed her to sleep...
 Monster 23

With the exception of the twenty-four hours when I believed that

Bella had died, this had been the worst night of my existence. Sitting,
in the small, now too crowded tent, watching her sleep in his arms,
was excruciating.

And then the sleep talking began. At first it was wonderful…

relieving… and deeply satisfying.

“Mmm, Edward” Bella said drowsily… “Edward…”

Jacob frowned, avoiding my gaze… I knew this was killing him,

hearing her say my name… evidence of her love… her choice. I was
pleased! Well, full of vindictive glee was probably more accurate.

“I love you, Edward.” She continued… my heart sang.

She was quiet for a time, and then became restless. Her dreams must
be reflecting the stress of the coming day. She would worry about
my family, and the dogs, err, werewolves from La Push.

“No…. no…” She murmured, followed by a deep breath, as she

twisted side to side, trying to avoid some imaginable foe.

Jacob looked up at me then, worry crossed his face. I understood.

Too many nights I had held Bella in my arms, comforting her as her
dreams turned dark… Worried about what was causing her such
pain. I could only give him a comforting look back, as if to say, it will
pass. He seemed to accept that and ran one hand along her arm as
he drifted back off.

Jacob slept sparingly. As difficult a night it was for me, I could tell he
wasn’t able to relax either. He would need some rest if he wanted to
be sharp against the newborns. I hoped he would be asleep a few
hours in before daybreak.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t fully asleep when the next bout of talking

started. Unfortunately because I would have much rather he’d slept
through this part.

“Don’t go… don’t go… Jacob…. My Jacob…” The way her voice
caressed his name left little doubt of the depth of her feelings for
him. Jacob didn’t avoid looking up at me then.

See, bloodsucker. She does love me. He thought giving me a smug

look.

I was the one now avoiding his eyes. I kept my expression blank, but
my heart wrenched. What I wanted to do was hold my head in my
hands, bowed in my brokenness and self-pity. Instead, I squared up
my shoulders and stared back at him.

“She worries about you – you know she does.. Especially today of all
days…”

Ya, I don’t think that was what that was about. He smiled back, slyly,
as he pulled her closer to his chest.

His mind was vulgar. I hated being a party to it at times like this. I
hardly thought that was what was going on in her dream. Bella was
good and pure. She didn’t dreamlike – that…

However, I could see, now that his resolve was hardened. He would
fight for her with every ounce of his being. He would do everything
in his power to win her – or win her back as he viewed it. In his
mind, she was his, and I had stolen her by coming back when I did…
And I wondered if he was right.
He dozed off again and I appreciated that his dreams now focused
on the battle that was only a few hours away. Unlike Seth, his
dreams focused on taking down the largest newborns, more than
anyone else. In his dream, we were all in awe of his prowess. In his
dream, Bella gazed over the pile of body parts, evidence of his
ability, and chose him.

The sky was clear and the sun shone through the tent. As the light
brightened, I could hear Bella’s breathing change, lighten. She was
waking up. She pulled away from Jacob, a scowl on her face,
brightening my mood considerably.

She was struggling now, as his arm tightened around her. I wanted,
more than anything to tear that arm off to help her out, but the
rational part of my mind could see that she was in no danger. She
was just trying to free herself from the bondage of sleep… Besides,
she wouldn’t like that. She loved him, too. The thought came
unbidden to my mind, but seared pain throughout my system.

She looked up at me then. “Is it any warmer out there?” she

whispered, trying not to disturb him.

“Yes. I don’t think the space heater will be necessary today.” I

replied grimly.

She struggled to free herself enough to unzip the bag and escape,
without disturbing him… always concerned about him. I wanted to
help her, but I didn’t think she would appreciate the type of help I
was considering. It certainly wouldn’t leave him undisturbed.

“Some help?” she asked quietly

“Did you want me to take his arms all the way off?” I smiled in
anticipation, knowing she would never agree to that…

“No, thank you. Just get me free. I’m going to get heat stroke.”

I reached across and quickly unzipped the bag, not displeased that
he fell out onto the cold floor. I smiled as the shock and pain of the
sudden contact registered in his mind.

“Hey!” He complained. Then things went terribly wrong. In reaction

to the cold, he quickly spun off the floor, pinning Bella on her back. I
heard the wind whoosh out of her. She had no air. In a fraction of a
second I reacted, lifting Jacob and throwing him against the tent
wall, bending one of the poles, almost bringing the entire structure
down on us.

Venom rose in my mouth as I took a defensive position, Bella safely

behind me. Snarls ripped out at me as I watched Jacob crouched on
the other side of the tent, growling back at me. His body shivered as
he began the transformation to wolf. My mind registered the
following at once: If Jacob phased now, the tent would be ripped to
shreds and there would be little to stop a full blown fight from
erupting. The previous night had been too much for either of us,
tension had built and we were both prepared to fight. Bella was
curled up behind me; safely breathing normally, yet her heart beat
indicated her fear. I planned our escape – if I acted quickly, I should
be able to tear an opening in the tent behind me and push Bella out
before she was part of the attack, though it might cost me a limb.
Outside Seth’s snarled at both of us, “Settle down, you’re going to
bring down the entire tent. Jacob, save it for the newborns.”

In the next instant, Bella was scrambling to her feet, moving toward
Jacob. Shock registered in my face as she put herself right in the line
of fire – inches from a volatile, young werewolf who was, at that
point, struggling for control.
“Stop it, stop it!” she yelled as I prepared to pull her away from the
danger. “Stop it, now.” She yelled directly at me, as she kept a hand
on Jacob – as if she could hold him back, as if she wouldn’t be hurt,
or maybe even killed, if he fazed now.

I froze in place, prepared to act quickly, but I could see Jacob gaining
control. Outside, Seth was coaching him, telling him to hold on, save
it for the newborns, to not put Bella in harm’s way. I could see it was
helping.

“Jacob, are you hurt?” She asked him. I was shocked. He had almost
crushed her, was moments from fazing, which would have been
disastrous, and she was worried that I had hurt HIM?

“Of course not!” he hissed. If she wasn’t here, I’d tear you limb from
limb.

Already full of bloodlust and rage, I just glared back. Bring it on!

She turned on me, “That wasn’t nice. You should say sorry.”

“You must be joking” I was incredulous, “he was crushing you!”

“Because you dumped him on the floor! He didn’t do it on purpose,

and he didn’t hurt me.”

I groaned. Of course, she would protect him – he who needs no

protection from her. I sighed deeply, calming myself, placating to her
request, “My apologies, dog.”

“No harm done” and now we know who she really loves, he gloated
back.
I ignored his barb, and focused back on Bella. She was cold. I picked
up the parka Jacob had brought in last night and offered it to her to
keep warm. I didn’t want to have to resort to the means we had to
last night. “Here”

“That’s Jacob’s.” she objected.

“Jacob has a fur coat.” I reminded her. Why doesn’t he leave us and
use it, I wanted to say to him.

“I’ll just use the sleeping bag again, if you don’t mind.” And Bella is
always welcome to join me. Jacob responded, “I wasn’t quite ready to
wake up. That wasn’t the best night’s sleep I ever had.”

“It was your idea.” I pointed out. It wasn’t like it was my choice.

Jacob was ready to drift off, “I didn’t say it wasn’t the best night I’ve
ever spent. Just that I didn’t get a lot of sleep. I thought Bella was
never going to shut up.” He reminded me… I cringed.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” I murmured back.

“Didn’t you have a nice night, then?” He taunted me. Afraid to hear
what is really going on in your girlfriend’s head? Afraid she might
choose a real man?

“It wasn’t the worst night of my life.” I responded honestly…

“Did it make the top ten?” He pushed, eye’s glittering in pleasure at

my obvious discomfort.

“Possibly.” I answered, a little less honestly.

Ha, he thought, as he closed his eyes. I wanted to rip that smug

expression right off his face. Actually I wanted to rip is face from his
head, but I settled for giving him something to think about instead.

“But, if I had been able to take your place last night, it would not
have made the top ten of the best nights of my life. Dream about
that.”

His eyes flashed opened, speculating what the top ten nights could
have been, anger rising as a result of his speculations… He got up,
“You know what? I think it’s too crowded in here.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

Bella gave me a small shove at that, as my supposed rudeness. I

ignored her jab, only too pleased to have that dog finally out of my
tent and away from my Bella, my fiancée!

“Guess I’ll catch up on my sleep later, then.” He gave me a pained

expression, playing on Bella’s sympathies, “I need to talk to Sam
anyway.” He said as he left the tent.

I was just about to breathe a sigh of relief at his departure – to use

the time to remind Bella of why she said ‘yes’ to me – to wipe ‘my
Jacob’ from her mind, when she reached out, “Jake, wait”

He jerked his arm out of her reach. He knew how to play the
wounded second choice, and he played it well.

“Please, Jake? Won’t you stay?” She pushed further, striking daggers
into my heart.

“No.” he said coldly. Yes, he was good at playing his part, playing
right into her sympathies. Why couldn’t she see though him? I could
see the pain in her face at his rebuff. He softened his look
momentarily, “Don’t worry about me, Bells. I’ll be fine, just like I
always am.” He forced a laugh, “Sides, you think I’m going to let Seth
go in my place – have all the fun and steal all the glory? Right.” He
snorted, every word well placed, pointing out that I wouldn’t be part
of the fight and he would be – assuring her of his safety, and yet
pointing out the danger. Yes, he was skilled in his fight for her
affections.

“Be careful” I cringed as I could hear the concern, the care in her
voice.

“Give it a rest, Bella” was his departing rebuff – yes he was skilled.

I wondered, had anything changed? She was my fiancée, but was she
wavering? Was she considering her options, in light of my rudeness
this morning – and his well played hand? What could I do now to
mend the broken fences between us? She leaned against me, but
though she was physically here, I felt she was really outside, with
Jacob.

I listened as Seth gave Jacob an update on the plans for the battle.
Alice had been paying particular attention and was feeding updates
through Sam to Seth on the expected arrival of the newborns. She still
couldn’t see who was with them, but their arrival was imminent. I
thought about the impending battle. Though Alice’s visions showed
success, with no losses, I still wished I were able to be there, to fight
alongside my family. Any shift in plan, any change in decision, could
change that vision… If anything happened to one of them, I would
carry the guilt for the rest of my existence.

“How much longer?” she asked.

“Alice told Sam it should be an hour or so.”

“We stay together. No matter what.” Bella said as she laced her hand
through mine.

“No matter what.” I agreed, at the same time wondering if that were
really true, in Bella’s and my case.

“I know, I’m terrified for them, too.” She mistakenly took my

melancholy for worry for their safety. Yes, I was worried, but I knew
they would be fine. At least I was fairly sure.

“They know how to handle themselves,” I said, assuring both of us,

then teased, trying to lighten the mood, “I just hate missing the fun.”
Also reminding her that I would be there fighting for her, except that
I chose to be here, with her…

She made a face at that. She didn’t like my making light of the battle
before us. She imagined that someone would get hurt and hated the
idea of others putting themselves in danger’s path for her… selfless,
as always.

I put a comforting arm around her shoulder, “Don’t worry.” I tried to

kiss away the furor in her brow.

“Sure, sure.” I cringed as I heard Jacob’s familiar phrase between her

lips. I needed to loosen his hold on her.

“Do you want me to distract you?” I smiled, running a finger along

her cheekbone. She shivered… not in a good way… “Maybe not right
now.” I pulled away from her.

“There are other ways to distract me.” She said hopefully.

“What would you like?” I desperately needed a distraction myself,

and wanted to reconnect with her in some profound way. I felt so
distant from her right now.

“You could tell me about your ten best nights,” She suggested, “I’m
curious.”

I smiled, of course she was curious. What a wonderful way to

connect. I chuckled, making this into a game, “Try to guess.”

She shook her head, “There’re too many nights I don’t know about. A
century of them.”

“I’ll narrow it down for you. All of my best nights have happened
since I met you.”

“Really?” She responded in surprised pleasure.

How could it be otherwise? “Yes really” I said softly, “and by quite a

wide margin, too.”

She considered that for a moment, her brow creased. “I can only
think of mine.”

Even better… “They might be the same” I encouraged. I would love

to hear hers…

“Well, there was the first night. The night you stayed.” I remembered
that night, lying with her in my arms, hearing those words that made
my world complete.

“Yes, that’s one of mine, too. Of course, you were unconscious for my
favorite part.”

“That’s right, I was talking that night, too.” She recalled…

The first time she said she loved me. “Yes.”

A blush spread across her cheeks then, as she was deep in thought. I
wondered where she had gone too, was she remembering that night
– or something else.

“What did I say last night?” she said, almost afraid to ask.

Her question, the way she looked almost guilty, afraid of my

reaction, made me wonder if she already had an idea – and if the
words were only the tip of the iceberg… Was she dreaming about
him? I steadied myself, shrugging, not trusting my voice.

“That bad?”

“Nothing too horrible.” You didn’t say you loved him… but still…

“Please tell me.”

“Mostly you said my name, the same as usual.”

“That’s not bad.” She seemed relieved.

Tell her the truth, I heard Jacob’s thoughts from outside the tent. He
was listening…

Though I hated to do it, perhaps it was better to get this out in the
open, to find out if things had changed overnight… To find out if
there were more to her words… “Near the end, though, you started
mumbling some nonsense about ‘Jacob, my Jacob’. Your Jacob
enjoyed that quite a lot.” I sat back and waited… waited for her to
deliver the words that would tear my world apart.

“Sorry” she started and I braced myself. This was going to be bad,
“That’s just the way I differentiate.”

“Differentiate?” What did that mean? Is that how she chose between
us… was the fact that she called him “my” mean that she had chosen
him?

“Between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Between the Jacob I like and the
one who annoys the hell out of me.” She explained.

Jacob snorted outside. I smiled… So it wasn’t what he thought. I

replayed her words – she said the Jacob she liked… not loved…
liked… I felt moderately better; it seemed she wasn’t going to leave
me yet.

“That makes sense.” I was enjoying this game, especially since I

knew Jacob was listening… “Tell me another favorite night.”

“Flying home from Italy.”

I replayed that night – her back in my arms, knowing she was alive –
we were both alive. Still, her hesitancy, her holding back… her doubt
in my love, believing that I would leave as soon as we were back on
American soil.

“Is that not one of yours?” she asked

“No, it is one of mine, actually, but I’m surprised it’s on your list.
Weren’t you under the ludicrous impression I was just acting from a
guilty conscience, and I was going to bolt as soon as the plane doors
opened?”

“Yes, but, still, you were there.”

I felt a flood of pleasure at her words. She loved me, even when she
believed I didn’t love her back, even when I had hurt her so
profoundly with my lies… “You love me more then I deserve.” I said
as I pressed my lips to her hair.

Her light musical laugh comforted me further, “The next would be

the night after Italy.”

“Yes, that’s on the list. You were so funny.”

“Funny?”

“I had no idea your dreams were so vivid. It took me forever to

convince you that you were awake.”

“I’m still not sure. You’ve always seemed more like a dream than
reality. Tell me one of yours, now. Did I guess your first place?”

“No.” I only considered the consequences of my actions for half a

second. I knew Jacob had been listening to our conversation. He had
been hopeful when we discussed the sleep talking last night that
perhaps Bella would make a move, especially after his little
performance this morning. He deserved to know, I told myself, but,
in truth, I wanted him to know. I had wanted to take the knowledge
and shove it down his throat so many times last night… and now, the
opportunity presented itself, and all I had to do was answer
honestly… Only a small part of my mind wondered if Bella would not
forgive me this… “That would be two nights ago, when you finally
agreed to marry me.”

What – marry you? I heard the seething outside at the same time I
registered the expression on her face. Perhaps she had changed her
mind…

“That doesn’t make your list?” I waited with bated breath… I could
hear Jacob’s thoughts outside the tent, waiting, hopefully, for Bella
to turn me down.

“Yes…” relief “it does. But with reservations.”

HA – reservations… Jacob waited in silence.

“I don’t understand why it’s so important to you. You already had

me forever.”

Her confirmation was music to my ears and a knife in Jacob’s heart.

His thoughts became muddled, confused. Anger, furry flowed
through him, as I could sense him trying to control himself from
fazing.

“A hundred years from now, when you’ve gained enough

perspective to really appreciate the answer, I will explain it to you.”

“I’ll remind you to explain – in a hundred years.”

That was the final straw: The confirmation that she would not only
marry me, but join me in this existence – that she would willingly
become a vampire. Jacob fazed.

“Are you warm enough?” I asked.

“I’m fine, why?”

A howl broke through the morning silence – all the anguish and pain
of loss, all the hopes that had built up so high the night before – the
knowledge of what had truly been lost, in that single cry, before
Jacob ran off into the forest. I could hear in his mind that, as he went
off to battle, we went off to die.
“Because your space heater has reached his limit…” The last words I
heard as he ran away I echoed in my mind and heard myself
repeating, “Truce over.”

“Jacob was listening” she whispered.

“Yes.”

“You knew.”

“Yes.” She would now know how truly monstrous I was. I had many,
many excuses for my behavior. It was only fair to him to know. He
shouldn’t be laboring under false pretenses. I was only answering
Bella’s question honestly… But all those were secondary to the truth.
I was a monster. My behavior was reprehensible.

She just stared at me with unseeing eyes. Would she change her
mind now?

“I never promised to fight fair… And he deserves to know.” The

words were hollow and meaningless, even as I said them. My heart
crushed within me as I saw the pain take over her face, her body – as
her head fell into her hands. I deserved whatever she gave me now. I
deserved to lose her. I deserved death.

“Are you angry with me?” I cringed, knowing the answer… knowing I
deserved her wrath.

“Not you. I’m horrified at me.”

And then I saw in her the character that only she possessed. That
she would take this all on herself – my monstrosity, my faults, my
doomed soul… She would take it all on. She was my savior and I
didn’t not deserve her.
“Don’t torment yourself.” I pleaded. Please, be angry with me. Be
furious with me, anything but this.

“Yes... I should save my energy to torment Jacob some more. I

wouldn’t want to leave any part of him unharmed.”

“He knew what he was doing.” He had played her every step of the
way – putting him in harm’s way in hopes of winning her. Of course,
these explanations were only relevant in easing her guilt. I had
known better.

“Do you think that matters? Do you think I care whether it’s fair or
whether he was adequately warned? I’m hurting him. Every time I
turn around, I’m hurting him again… I’m a hideous person.”

There were no words I could say to ease her guilt. Nothing I could do
to take this upon myself, where it belonged. She would accept the
blame herself; beating her up, because that was who she was. I
pulled her into my arms, as I had wanted to last night and soothed
her as best I could, “No, you’re not.” I am…

“I am! What’s wrong with me?” she fought against me and I let her
go. Maybe she had realized it was me who was in the wrong. It was
me who was hideous. “I have to go find him.”

“Bella, he’s already miles away, and its cold.”

“I don’t care. I can’t just sit here.” She got up, putting on her boots
and headed to the door. She was stiff from sitting so long; she could
hardly make it out of the tent. I don’t know how she imagined she
was going anywhere. “I have to – I have to…” she said as she walked
outside.
Seth saw her exit the tent. He had heard the entire conversation and
knew her intentions. Should I stop her? He wondered. She is going to
get herself killed…

I walked out moments afterward. “Just stay here. I’ll handle this.” I
told him…

I let her stomp off toward the forest, allowing her to cool off a bit,
and to give us some space so Seth wouldn’t hear us, and pass the
information back to Jacob. I could only imagine what I was going to
need to do to make this right, and I suspected having him know I
was coming would not at all be helpful.

I caught her by the wrist when we were a safe distance from camp.
“You can’t go after him. Not today. It’s almost time. And getting
yourself lost wouldn’t help anyone, regardless.” I appealed to her
selfless side… her rational side.

She tried to twist away.

“I’m sorry, Bella. I’m sorry I did that.” I was truly sorry at this
moment. It was cruel and mean spirited.

“You didn’t do anything. It’s my fault. I did this. I did everything

wrong.” She broke into sobs, breaking my heart with every cry, “I
could have… When he… I shouldn’t have… I…. I….”

I pulled her to my chest, drying her tears with my shirt, trying

desperately to heal her heart with my comfort, “Bella, Bella.”

“I should have – told him – I should – have said – He shouldn’t have –

found out like this.”

I knew what I had suspected before. I would have to go after him. I

would have to bring him back so she could ease his hurt… to bring
them back together and heal the connection that I wanted, with all
my being, to be severed… I would have to do that for her, because
she needed it.

“Do you want me to see if I can bring him back, so that you can talk
to him? There’s still a little time.” I hated to do this, but I had to.

She nodded. I hadn’t any hope that she would have chosen
otherwise.

“Stay by the tent. I’ll be back soon.”

I ran then as fast as I could. There was very little time. I knew where
he was just before we entered the forest. I had gleaned that much
from Seth’s mind before removing us to a safe distance. As I closed
in, I searched for his mind, his voice. It wasn’t hard to find.

He knew I was close before I saw him.

Come to gloat? He snarled as I found him. He had stopped in a small

opening in the trees, not far from the meadow. Close enough to jump
in when the fight was to begin, far enough away to sob to himself. He
had fazed back into human form, but had left in too much of a hurry
to pick up his clothes. He was naked. I guessed he didn’t want to
hear the voices of his pack in his head – so he could be alone in his
misery.

I held out my hands as I walked forward. I wasn’t looking for a fight.

“Jacob, what I did… how I allowed you to hear… that wasn’t right. It
wasn’t fair to you. It wasn’t fair to Bella…”

“Like any of that matters – it’s true, though” – you’re going to marry
her and then suck the life out of her. She is going to be… to be… one of
you. He bent over, head in his hands. The anguish taking over his
body.

I could see his plan now. He would fight alongside his brothers, but
not with patience and strategy. He would fight with pure grit and
determination – take down as many newborns as he could, before
they took him. He wanted it – the release – the escape from a world
of pain.

“I know what you’re thinking… I’ve been there.” I said quietly.

“You know nothing, Leach.” He jumped off the log, fazing into wolf
form in an instant. I saw the change, the decision only a fraction of a
second before – with only enough time to deflect his attack.

“I won’t fight you, Jacob. I won’t hurt you. Bella needs you right
now.”

‘Screw Bella’ he yelled in his head as he lunged back, aiming for a leg.
I moved out of the way and gave a small shove as he passed. He flew
over a boulder, rolling across the ground, crashing into a fallen log.
He was back up on his feet again, teeth bared, growls ripping from
his throat.

My body was tense in anticipation, ready to attack as soon as I gave

the release. But that release wouldn’t come. I wouldn’t allow it. I
needed to be in control – to allow Jacob to settle down in time to
bring him back – to help Bella.

“Jacob, Bella feels terrible. She didn’t know you could hear. She
wanted to tell you herself, to give you a chance to deal with it at an
appropriate time. It was me – It was my fault. I knew you could hear.
I shouldn’t have let it get that far.”
‘Then you should die.’ He lunged again – diving straight for my throat.
I couldn’t duck, I couldn’t move out of the way fast enough. I lunged
back, hitting him in the chest, pushing him back against the forest.
He flew 20 feet before landing against a large spruce, giving an earth
shattering crack.

What are you doing, Jacob? I heard Sam’s voice. You’ve known this all
along. Get yourself together. Go back and talk with Bella. There is very
little time.

Seth must have brought him up to speed on what happened.

Jacob picked himself up onto all four legs. He shook himself off. He
had cooled down somewhat. That last hit had taken something out
of him. His shoulder was deeply bruised, but was already healing. He
would probably be fully healed by the time we got back… if he would
come.

I’m only doing this for Bella. He snarled.

“Understood.”

We took off then, as fast as we could, back up the mountain. We

stopped just in the cover of the trees where he had left some
clothing. I walked on ahead of him as he fazed and dressed.

Seth heard the movement in the forest before catching our scent. He
growled a warning.

“It’s just us, Seth.” Jacob responded.

I looked to Bella as I entered the clearing. Her face was resigned, yet
hopeful. I knew I needed to give her the freedom, the space to make
this right, though I feared what would come of it. Before I could go to
her, to reassure her, Seth approached.

Alice informs us we will have more visitors this morning. A contingent

from the Volturi will be visiting, not long after we face the newborns.
Anywhere between five and twenty minutes after the battle.

The Volturi. I frowned.

There will be five… Jane is with them…

Jane… this isn’t good. Not good at all. And the timing was suspicious.
Were they involved somehow, I wondered?

I am assuming this isn’t good. This was Seth, not Alice’s message.

“Yes, that’s all we need. I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised. But the

timing is going to be very close. Please have Sam ask Alice to try to
nail the schedule down better.”

Will do… he padded off.

I turned to Bella. She was staring at Jacob, who was looking away,
considering what he might say to her. Wondering if there was still
any chance at all. He was resolved to convince her – to tell her
exactly what he could give her if she chose him. He was going to
force her hand – to make her choose. He was desperate and he
would use whatever means necessary.

When she looked up at me then, I saw her pain. But behind that, I
saw love, acceptance, gratefulness. How she could feel thus, when I
had been so horrible. When I had been the monster that hurt her so
profoundly, I didn’t know. And yet, I knew she loved him too. She
would have to choose and I had no reason to believe she would
choose me.
“Bella. There’s a bit of a complication.” I worked to keep my voice as
calm as possible. “I’m going to take Seth a little ways away and try to
straighten it out. I won’t go far, but I won’t listen, either. I know you
don’t want an audience, no matter which way you decide to go.” The
pain of the possibility, that she might choose him, that I could lose
her here, in the next few moments – was crippling. I struggled to
regain my calm.

“Hurry back.” She whispered.

I wanted to crush her to me. To remind her of every moment we had

spent together. I worried; this might be the last chance I had.
Instead, I kissed her lightly on the lips – giving her freedom to
choose, without undue persuasion, and walked off into the woods
with Seth to speak with Sam and Alice.

Seth’s thought betrayed his concern for my morose expression. He

was perceptive and knew there was more than this recent
development adding to my despair. But he padded along, saying
nothing…

I have Alice with me. I will have to faze in and out of wolf form to
communicate back and forth if you have any questions. Alice says the
vision is clearer now. There are definitely five. Jane, Felix and Demetri
are with them. They will pause a safe distance away, and wait for the
battle to be concluded. They will approach from the north end of the
clearing. At this point it looks like we will have about ten minutes from
the end of the battle until they appear.

You are to return with Bella as soon as we give the word that the
battle is over. The wolves will depart.

“Is there any indication that they are behind this?”

The response was a few seconds, as Sam fazed into human form to
ask Alice, and then faze back to send back the response.

I can’t see that. They seem to be aware of the newborns, but I see no
indication they are directing them.

“What is their purpose? Why are they here?” I feared I already knew
the reason… and Bella was still very human.

A few seconds later.

They are here to check on Bella, to see if she is human. But that only
seems to be a pretense. There is more to their visit, but I can’t see what
it is. I can only see that they will definitely wait until after the battle.
They will ask about Bella’s human status. But there is something else. I
can’t place my finger on why – perhaps it is just a suspicion.

“Will they fight us?”

I heard a deep sigh from Sam. I supposed the changing back and
forth was a little annoying. I should have saved up all my questions,
but we didn’t have much time – so I asked them as they came.

No, there will not be a fight.

Thank you Sam and Alice. Thank you Seth. We will hurry down as soon
as you give us the signal. Best of luck to all of you. I am sure Jacob will
join you momentarily.

Sam simply snorted in return. I supposed he wasn’t terribly happy

with Bella’s choice either. He resented her forgiveness. After he had
been the one to find her… after I had left… he imagined she would be
the last person to offer forgiveness. But she had. For now.
So, we knew what was ahead of us. The battle, the Volturi. The only
thing I didn’t know, waited for me back at the tent. Whether, when
all this was over - when we had defeated the newborns and survived
a visit from the Volturi – I would be able to call Bella my own – or
whether she would destroy me as she chose Jacob Black.
Snap Decision 24

I slowed as we approached the clearing. I didn’t want to walk in on

their conversation. I had promised Bella that much – that she would
have no audience as she made her decision.

I realized I had been selfish. I was only fighting for what I wanted –
and I wanted her. But was that best for her? I had never thought so. It
would always have been better for her if she stayed away from me. It
would have been better if she had never fallen in love with someone
who would only destroy her life. Maybe she should choose Jacob. It
would be better for her. The thought almost crippled me in pain.

I used every sense to determine that Jacob had left. There were no
voices, no conversation as I approached and his scent was freshly
fading. He had just left.

I walked out of the forest. Bella was nowhere in sight. I could hear
her sobbing quietly in the tent and I wondered what that would
mean. I quietly approached, opening up the tent and slipping in. She
lay face down across the sleeping bag, her hair strewn out. She was a
mess. She was beautiful. I wondered if she were still mine…
I tentatively reach out and stroked her hair, wondering if she would
recoil from my touch. She shivered. I wasn’t sure if it was the cold or
if it was me. “Are you all right?”

“No. I want to die.” Her voice was ragged from too much crying. It
hurt me that she would feel so much pain, that I would be the cause
of it.
“That will never happen. I won’t allow it.” Regardless of her choice, I
knew this to be true.
“You might change your mind about that.” She whispered back. I
braced myself, wondering where this was going.
“Where’s Jacob?” I searched for his voice. He must have just fazed, I
was beginning to hear him through Seth.
“He went to fight” she was staring at the floor. She wouldn’t look up
at me… and then I understood why. Through Seth, I heard it all.

She had made her apologies, cut the cords, and let him go. He was
crushed, hurt. But he wasn’t giving up. He would have her, one way or
another. He saw a tactic, a way to force her hand.
“Well, you’re not the only one capable of self-sacrifice. Two can play
that game.” He said.
“What?” She asked.
“I’ve behaved pretty badly myself. I’ve made this much harder for
you than I needed to. I could have given up with good grace in the
beginning. But I hurt you, too.”
“This is my fault.”
“I won’t let you claim all the blame here, Bella. Or all the glory either.
I know how to redeem myself.”
“What are you talking about?”
“There’s a pretty serious fight brewing down there. I don’t think it
will be that difficult to take myself out of the picture.”
He continued to manipulate her until he finally forced her hand.
“You could ask me”
I cringed as I heard the words through his memory, “Will you kiss
me, Jacob?”
“Oh” I said out loud.
Then I saw it.
Jacob, reaching out for Bella, forcing her arm around his neck, putting
his own around her, pulling her closer. Kissing her fiercely – on the
mouth, down her chin… by her ear. He was rough with her, forceful in
a way I had never been. Yet, she remained still under his touch.
“You can do better than this, Bella. You’re over thinking it.”
She shivered as he bit her ear. He felt the tremble and believed it
was passion.
“That’s right. For once, just let yourself feel what you feel.”
She shook her head.
“Are you sure you want me to come back? Or did you really want me to
die?”
Then… as all my worst fears were realized, as she kissed him back.

She pulled at his hair, sending him into frenzy – feeling joy, triumph
and passion all at once. He knew she was his and kissed her as if that
were true. Her lips moved against his as she kissed him back, pulling
him tighter. She kissed him in a way she had never kissed me, with
reckless abandon, the way she should be allowed to kiss the man she
loved, but I had never allowed it…
“I have to leave” he whispered.
“No.”
He had won. He was victorious. She was his…
“I won’t be long, but one thing first.”
He gently, pulled her face to his and gently, carefully kissed her. Then
he embraced her, holding her safely in his arms.
That should have been our first kiss. Better late than never. He said

If I had been alone, I would have fallen to a crumpled heap on the

floor of the tent, as the pain, the agony tore through me. But I had
promised… I would let her go. I would never let her see how hard it
was for me… I had to pull it together… For her.
Then another emotion flowed through me… Determination. I wasn’t
ready to let her go. Sure, if she decided, if she said she was moving
on. I would accept that. But she hadn’t said that to me, yet. She
hadn’t broken our engagement. Until that happened, she was still
mine and I wouldn’t give her up without a fight. I was here until she
told me to go.

I hid my pain in a nervous laugh. I would point out his manipulative

ways, as politely as I could. I hadn’t fought fair, and she knew it.
Well, she should know he was just as capable as I, before she made
her decision final.
“And I thought I fought dirty. He makes me look like the patron said
of ethics.”
Carefully, I brushed my hand against her cheek. She didn’t pull away.
That was good.
“I’m not mad at you, love, Jacob’s more cunning than I gave him
credit for. I do wish you hadn’t asked him, though.”
“Edward, I…. I…. I’m”
I wasn’t ready to hear her decision. I needed to say some things first.
I needed her to hear it all before she told me she had changed her
mind.
“Shhh. That’s not what I meant. It’s just that he would have kissed
you anyway – even if you hadn’t fallen for it – and now I don’t have
an excuse to break his face. I would have really enjoyed that, too.”
“Fallen for it?”
“Bella, did you really believe he was that noble? That he would go
out in a flame of glory to clear the way for me?” Hardly… this was is
plan from the moment I brought him back from the clearing…

She looked up at me, searching my expression… looking for

something.
“Yes, I did believe that.” She looked down then.
I tried to gage the expression in her face from the brief moment she
looked up at me. It wasn’t revulsion or denial. She looked…. Guilty?
Could it be, she hadn’t chosen him, but just felt guilty for kissing him.
Or guilty for breaking my heart?
I laughed again, “You’re such a bad liar, you’ll believe anyone who
has the least bit of skill.”
“Why aren’t you angry with me? Why don’t you hate me? Or haven’t
you heard the whole story yet?”
I forced my voice to be light, easy… without the strong emotion I
held in check as I remembered the kiss. “I think I got a fairly
comprehensive look. Jacob makes vivid mental pictures. I feel almost
as bad for his pack as I do for myself. Poor Seth was getting
nauseated. But Sam is making Jacob focus now.”
She shook her head side to side. I wished I could hear what she was
thinking now – to know what she had decided… She had to know I
would forgive her – that she still had a choice. And she had to know
that I would let her go…
“You’re only human.”
“That’s the most miserable defence I’ve ever heard.”
“But you are human, Bella. And, as much as I might wish otherwise,
so is he… There are holes in your life that I can’t fill. I understand
that.”
I braced myself, dreading her response…
“But that’s not true. That’s what makes me so horrible. There are no
holes.”
Was she trying to placate me, to let me down easy? “You love him.” I
reminded her.
“I love you more.”
Everything within me sang with the confirmation. She was still mine.
She still loved me. I looked into her face… yes she loved me. She
chose me… but still, she felt guilty… Was it guilt that was holding her
to me? Did she feel she owed me…? Was she unwilling to go back on
her word? I needed to be sure. She needed to make this decision
freely.
“Yes, I know that, too, But… when I left you, Bella, I left you bleeding.
Jacob was the one to stitch you back up again. That was bound to
leave its mark – on both of you. I’m not sure those kinds of stitches
dissolve on their own. I can’t blame either of you for something I
made necessary. I may gain forgiveness, but that doesn’t let me
escape the consequences.”
“I should have known you’d find some way to blame yourself. Please
stop. I can’t stand it.”
“What would you like me to say?”
“I want you to call me every bad name you can think of, in every
language you know. I want you to tell me that you’re disgusted with
me and that you’re going to leave so that I can beg and grovel on my
knees for you to stay.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t do that.” Yes, she was trying to ease her guilt…
“At least stop trying to make me feel better. Let me suffer. I deserve
it.”
“No.” She did not need to suffer more. I did. I needed to hurt. I
needed to lose her… The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I
needed to lose her. She needed to choose Jacob. And I would stand
aside and be whatever she needed.
“You’re right. Keep on being too understanding. That’s probably
worse.”
I barely heard her as Sam’s thoughts penetrated my mind: The fight
is about to start. Alice can see the newborns approaching… they will
be here in three minutes.
“It’s getting close” she guessed.
“Yes, a few more minutes now. Just enough time to say one more
thing…”
I needed to say this, to make it clear to her that she was free. I
wouldn’t hold her to her commitment, our compromise. I wouldn’t
have her out of guilt or duty. She was free to go to him. And yet,
these would be the hardest words I uttered out of my mouth.
Harder, even, and then when I told her I was leaving…

“I can be noble, Bella. I’m not going to make you choose between us.
Just be happy, and you can have whatever part of me you want, or
none at all, if that’s better. Don’t let any debt you feel you owe me
influence your decision.”
She pushed herself up onto her knees and faced me, anger flashing
across her face. “Dammit, stop that.” She shouted.

That was the last response I had expected… didn’t she understand?
She was free to choose or not. I would accept whatever part I could
get. “No – you don’t understand. I’m not just trying to make you feel
better, Bella, I really mean it.”
“I know you do. What happened to fighting back? Don’t start with
the noble self-sacrifice now! Fight!”
“How?” I was confused. Why wouldn’t she accept her freedom? She
clearly loved him.
She rushed up, into my lap, throwing her arms around me… She
caught me by surprise. “I don’t care that it’s cold here. I don’t care
that I stink like a dog right now. Make me forget how awful I am.
Make me forget him. Make me forget my own name. Fight back!”
She threw herself at me, pressing her body to mine, kissing me with
the same wild abandon, she had kissed him with. I wanted to take
her then – to do exactly as she asked – to wipe every memory of his
kiss from her mind and leave her panting for more…
“Careful, love” I tried slow her down, to bring some sense, before I
did something we’d both regret, but also trying not to hurt her
further.
“No!” she growled back. She wasn’t slowing down. She wasn’t easing
up… I could feel my control slipping… This wasn’t right. I needed to
stop her. I gently held her face away from mine…
“You don’t have to prove anything to me.”
“I’m not trying to prove something. You said I could have any part of
you I wanted. I want this part. I want every part.”
I knew she wanted me, as I wanted her. With my whole being I
wanted her. But she was trying to convince herself; to abide by the
decision she had already made – to be loyal, and dutiful… She
needed to be free and to be able to choose her path, to be happy. I
wouldn’t influence that by using the physical attraction she had for
me. I wouldn’t use my powers of persuasion, not if she could truly be
happy.
I had to stop her, before my resolve weakened and gave in. I wanted
this – I wanted her… but I knew it wasn’t right.
“Perhaps this isn’t the best moment for that.” I said…
She became suddenly cold, backing away from me. “Why not” she
grumbled.
Oh, so many reasons… and I hadn’t the time to explain them all.
“Firstly, because it is cold.” She was shivering, so I pulled the
sleeping bag around her…
“Wrong. First, because you are bizarrely moral for a vampire.” She
said it like an accusation, not an attribute.
I chuckled, “All right, I’ll give you that. The cold is second. And
thirdly… well, you do actually stink, love.” I wrinkled my nose for
effect, though, in truth, I would have withstood it. Her scent
over-powered the rest and, if I gave myself leave, I would have taken
her, scent and all.

She sighed.
“Fourthly” and I added this so she knew I still loved her, so she knew
I still wanted her. She would doubt that by my refusal, “We will try,
Bella. I’ll make good on my promise. But I’d rather it wasn’t in
reaction to Jacob Black.”
She cringed at that, and I wondered at the reason.
“And fifthly…” I said as I heard the first reports coming in from Sam.
The battle was about to begin.

“That is a very long list.” She muttered, pulling herself into her
classic pout – her kitten anger that always amused me.
“Yes, but did you want to listen to the fight or not?”
Seth howled in anxiety, hearing the start of the fight. In response,
Bella tightened up, her fists clenched to the point I worried she
would hurt herself. She had already done enough damage. I took her
hands in mine and gently caressed the tension out, loosening her
fingers into a more natural position.

“It’s going to be fine,” I comforted her, “We’ve got skill, training, and
surprise on our side. It will be over very soon. If I didn’t truly believe
that, I would be down there now – and you’d be here, chained to a
tree or something along those lines.”

“Alice is so small.” She moaned…

I laughed. “Yes that might be a problem… if it were possible for

someone to catch her.” Which would be impossible since she see what
you are going to do before you do it…

The battle was starting in earnest now. Seth whimpered in

impatience, wishing he could be there.
“What’s wrong?” Bella asked, assuming the worst.
“He’s just angry that he’s stuck here with us. He knows the pack kept
him out of the action to protect him. He’s salivating to join them.”
She scowled at that, and I knew she would continue to be stressed
by the battle, so I started commentating, sharing the thoughts
passed on by Sam through Seth. “The newborns have reached the end
of the trail – it worked like a charm, Jasper’s a genius – and they’ve
caught the scent of the ones in the meadow, so they’re splitting into
two groups now, as Alice said. Sam’s taking us around to head off the
ambush party.”

The part of my brain that always kept a constant watch on Bella

alerted me that she wasn’t breathing. “Breathe, Bella” I reminded
her and then went on, letting the part of my brain that was paying
attention to Sam’s voice take over, “The first group is in the clearing.
We can hear the fighting. We can hear Emmet – he’s enjoying himself.”
I chucked, picturing my brother in his glory, “The second group is
getting ready – they aren’t paying attention, they haven’t heard us
yet.”
“Whoever finds the girl gets her.” one of the newborns shouted.
“Don’t let her escape.”
“Ahhhh, her sweet blood. She is mine.” Another stated.
“No, she is mine” A third snapped back.
I growled in response as I heard the newborns voices through Seth’s
ears. I wished I could race down the mountain and kill the lot of
them myself.
“What” Bella gasped at my reaction.
“They’re talking about you. They’re supposed to make sure you
don’t escape…” I didn’t want to tell her that she was the trophy, the
prize for whichever one got her first. The pack attacked. They were
pairing off against the newborns, using the techniques Jasper had
taught them. I was no longer hearing a commentary by Sam; rather I
was seeing everything through their eyes at once, “Nice move, Leah!
Mmm, she’s quite fast. One of the newborns caught our scent, and
Leah took him down before he could even turn. Sam’s helping her
finish him off. Paul and Jacob got another one, but the others are on
the defensive now. They have no idea what to make of us. Both sides
are feinting…” I saw Jacob jump up against one of the newborns, out
of time with the coordinated attack, “No, let Sam lead. Stay out of the
way” The element of surprise had worn off. The newborns were now
circling on the wolves, putting them on the defensive, getting into
position… “Separate them – don’t let them protect each other’s backs.”
“Come on guys” Seth cheered…
Sam had regrouped the wolves. They had recovered and were now
back on the offensive, “That’s better, drive them toward the clearing.”
I felt as if I were almost there. It was painful, seeing everything, yet
unable to physically do anything…
Then another voice penetrated my consciousness. “This way Riley.” It
was Victoria. I growled… She picked up my scent from when I went
to get Jacob for Bella. Stupid – of course, we had gone through great
lengths to ensure this very thing didn’t happen.

Seth’s thought came next: Someone’s coming, I can smell them…. It’s
Victoria’s scent, and another is with her. What do we do?
Instantly, I grabbed Bella and tore an opening in the tent.
Seth stared at me, sharing his idea. Please, let me help… I could circle
around and wait for an opening, give us some element of surprise,
while you protect Bella, drawing them in… Please, I want to help…
I nodded, “Go, Seth!”
I whisked Bella away to the cliff face, the best defensive position. I
pulled her behind me, keeping myself between her and the
approaching danger. I knew that Victoria would only be looking for a
brief opening, a few moments to deliver a death blow. She wished
for much more than that, but she would take that much if she could
get it…
“Who” she asked. She must have realized the danger was here. How I
regretted the danger I put her in. It would almost have been better if
we were down in the clearing, with so many more of us to protect
her… She needed to know, to understand the situation. She had been
right all along.
“Victoria. She’s not alone. She crossed my scent, following the
newborns in to watch – she never meant to fight with them. She
made a spur-of-the-moment decision to find me, guessing that you
would be wherever I was. She was right. You were right. It was
always Victoria.”
I reached out with every sense, sight, scent, hearing, taste… and my
mind to hear her approach. I heard her crazed mind before I saw her
escape from the trees, a newborn at her side.
I quickly scanned the thoughts of her companion. He was one of the
oldest newborns, the first of the surviving. His scent was familiar – it
was the scent of the new born who had taken Bella’s clothes. I
growled…
I automatically shifted to their approach and their every move,
taking a defensive stance in front of Bella. They slowly came
forward, taking the offense, shifting their approach to try to create
an opening for one of them.
I knew he would be here, with his little pet, her thoughts chilled me,
Home-wreaker. She needs to be taught a lesson… stealing another
woman’s man is not what nice girls do… tsk, tsk.
Her mind was disturbed, but cunning. She should not be
underestimated. She glared at Bella at all times, looking for only a
momentary opening, a split second. I wouldn’t give it to her. She
stayed safely on the end of the tree line, hoping for Riley to take the
brunt of the battle.
She nodded to Riley to proceed. He was to distract me, to give her
the opening she needed. Instead, I distracted him, to give Seth time
to get in position. I suddenly saw, in their minds, the plans, the
months of work that went into this assault. That gave me what I
needed.
“Riley” I used my most compelling voice, “She’s lying to you, Riley.
Listen to me. She’s lying to you just like she lied to the others who
are dying now in the clearing. You know that she’s lied to them, that
she had you lie to them, that neither of you were ever going to help
them. Is it so hard to believe that she’s lied to you, too?”
I heard his mind reconcile what I was saying with what he already
knew. But she said she loved me… She loves me, he tried to convince
himself.
“She doesn’t love you, Riley.” I planted the doubt, “She never has.
She loved someone named James, and you’re no more than a tool to
her.”
Victoria growled as I talked about James. Her pain palatable – the
source of her insanity.
I’m here, Edward, I’m in position. I can see them approaching you… I
heard Seth’s voice.
Neither of them sensed Seth’s approach. Good, we had the element
of surprise. I kept them distracted. “Riley? She knows that I will kill
you, Riley. She wants you to die so that she doesn’t have to keep up
the pretence anymore.” I saw the uncertainty in his mind, the
rebuffs, and the coolness in her touch. “Yes – you’ve seen that, haven’t
you? You’ve read the reluctance in her eyes, suspected a false note in
her promises. You were right. She’s never wanted you. Every kiss,
every touch was a lie.”
I could see Victoria wanted Bella, but she wouldn’t engage, waiting
for Riley to do her dirty work. She was conniving and she wouldn’t
put herself at risk. I created the smallest of openings – really only
the promise of an opening to pull her in, to engage her… as I
adjusted to face more toward Riley.
The desire in her mind intensified as she saw her goal so close. I only
needed to move an inch more and she would have her advantage.
She only needed a second to kill Bella… but I wouldn’t give her that
second.
“You don’t have to die. There are other ways to live than the way
she’s shown you. It’s not all lies and blood, Riley. You can walk away
right now. You don’t have to die for her lies.”
I knew it was an empty promise as soon as I said it. Despite his
doubts, he was still devoted to Victoria. It was all he’d ever known.
He wouldn’t go against her. Still I half hoped he would. I loathed
killing an innocent – even one who had been twisted by another.
And it would be easier to kill Victoria without Riley involved.
I moved a slight more – again, making it appear as if there was space
for an opening for Victoria while I engaged, Riley… It made her begin
to frenzy, as if she already tasted the blood and the success. She
inched forward.
“Last chance, Riley” I said. He looked to Victoria for reassurance. She
was almost fully engaged now.
She had been watching me with interest… My comments concerned
her. They were a little too astute, a little too perceptive… Then it
clicked… He can read minds. She hissed, “He’s the liar, Riley. I told you
about their mind tricks. You know I love only you.”

That was all he needed, her confirmation. He was now determined.

He would hear no more of my arguments. He crouched, ready to
attack. Victoria was equally ready, preparing for the moment Riley
distracted me enough for her to do her will.
Now, Seth shouted as he flung himself at Riley.
“No!” Victoria exclaimed in shock, as she saw Seth tear a chunk out
of Riley.
I moved to engage her, to match my skill to hers. She was torn. She
wanted Bella and she was so close, but this was an even fight, and
she much preferred the two on one only moment ago.
“No” she said through her teeth as she saw her opening taken away.
She backed up, toward the trees, hesitant.
Seth took a blow from Riley. I’m okay; I heard his thoughts as he
limped away, the injury already healing.
Victoria crouched, moving side to side, looking for an opening –
lunging to draw me in, and then dodging to take advantage of a hole.
But each lunch, each dodge, each sachet from side to side, I saw in
her thoughts before she did them. She was getting frustrated and
her instinct to flee was strong. She was figuring me out, figuring out
that I could read her mind before she could act…
“Don’t go, Victoria. You’ll never get another chance like this.” I
taunted her. She looked back at Bella. The desire to kill was hot in
her mind. This was all she thought about, all she lived for now. Death
would be a welcome escape, I thought.
She hissed back. Her thoughts pulled her back, toward the woods,
while her desire pulled her forward, toward Bella.
“You can always run later. Plenty of time for that. It’s what you do,
isn’t it? It’s why James kept you around. Useful, if you like to play
deadly games. A partner with an uncanny instinct for escaping. He
shouldn’t have left you – he could have used your skills when we
caught up to him in Phoenix.” I taunted, egging her on, encouraging
her to fight.
She snarled her response, but she move forward… she wanted this.
She wanted it bad.
“That’s all you ever were to him, though. Silly to waste so much
energy avenging someone who had less affection for you than a
hunter for his mount. You were never more than a convenience to
him. I would know.” I tapped on my head, confirming her suspicions,
implying I had seen this in his head… driving her mad with anger and
despair… trying to ensure she didn’t run. She lunged out of the trees
then finally engaging in earnest.

I’ll tear you apart and kill your little pet before your eyes before I burn
you, she hissed. She circled to the left looking for an opening, a
strike. But I knew her plan, heard her moves before she made them.
I was in control of this fight.

Riley’s fist contacted with Seth’s flank at that point. Seth yelped in
pain and backed away. ‘I’m okay’ he thought to me, ‘but I am going to
try to draw him. Maybe this will draw her in too?’
I nodded my agreement. Seth moved back toward Bella, pulling
Riley in. I backed up slightly to meet him. Victoria laughed in
triumph; she was getting closer to her goal, to Bella, to ending her
yearlong pursuit. If she couldn’t get through me, perhaps Riley could
get through the wolf. She kept him in her sights as she continued to
engage in our lethal dance.
Ha, you put your fates in the hands of a werewolf. He’ll turn on you at
the first sign of defeat. Even now, he thinks of joining our side… before
Riley finishes him off.” She was maniacal.
“No, he won’t turn on me. You provided us with a common enemy.
You allied us.”
I know these creatures. James hunted one for sport in Russia. They
aren’t even loyal to their own kind. They are loyal to no one but
themselves… She taunted back.
“Look more closely, Victoria. Is he really so much like the monster
James tracked across Siberia?”
She noticed his four legged stance, his lack of human like qualities,
his reason, She shook her head, “Not the same? Impossible!” she
snarled, yet her mind showed her doubt.
“Nothing is impossible.” She eyed Bella then, her goal, her prize. She
shifted her stance to take advantage of my movement toward Seth,
to create an opportunity. I saw her change in focus and stance, and
adjusted at the same time “Except what you want. You’ll never touch
her.”
She sped up, moving more quickly. Trying to not think of her next
move before she made it. She fought with instinct, giving herself
over to her senses. But the glimpses of her instinctual decisions still
gave her away as she made each move… I matched her every step,
her every dodge, her every fake. She snarled in frustration.
Riley was momentarily distracted by our fight. His thoughts
betrayed his concern for Victoria. He could see she was out matched.
He longed to jump to her side, to help her. Seth took advantage and
tore another piece from him, forcing him to reengage with the wolf.
He swung swiftly then, unthinkingly and caught Seth, throwing him
against the cliff next to Bella.
I’m fine, He whimpered back…
Victoria was mad with glee. I gave Seth a small glance trying to tell
him to stay down.
You want me to fake an injury – pull them both in?
I nodded.
He smiled, let’s end this then.
Enough play time, I agreed. I left the defensive and switched to
offensive – matching her advances with advances of my own,
snapping at her arms her neck.
She was too close now to her goal; she could see Riley had a clear
shot. She only had to keep me engaged, while Riley finished Bella off.
Your wolf if injured… He’ll turn or leave, either way, she will die… she
taunted me.
Riley prepared to attack. He would lunge at Seth, but attack Bella.
That was the plan – Victoria would allow him to sacrifice himself to
get the end result she desired. He crouched, ready to attack. Tension
coiled up in his limbs.
Then the scent hit me – the sweetest scent I had ever known. I saw
the action register in Victoria’s mind, Bella cutting her arm with a
sharp piece of rock. She stared in confusion as the bloodlust rose
within her. I sighed, Bella, what are you doing? I know… the Third
Wife… I could kill Jacob…
Seth noticed at the same time, distracting him momentarily, looking
back at her to see if she was all right. The smell of fresh blood was all
Riley needed to act on his planned attacked. He launched himself at
Bella as Victoria screamed at him to attack and in bloodlust. I had to
act fast. I lunged at her, throwing her toward a tree, breaking her
body as I turned to defend against Riley. I ached back and caught
him by the arm, ripping it off his body as he screamed in agony.
Seth reengaged, attacking Riley, as I turned to see Victoria take
advantage of the hole I left in my defence while I dealt with Riley.
She flew though the air. She only needed a moment, just a second to
end her life. I used Riley’s dismembered arm like a bat, and hit a nice
double into a nearby tree. She jumped up, her body further broken,
awkward… ready to attack Bella again, but I was already there,
blocking her way.
You’re done, I heard Seth’s thought as his took his final lunge and
finished off Riley. I didn’t have much time. Victoria’s instinct to flee
would kick in as soon as she saw she was outnumbered. I moved
toward her as close as I could, preparing to act as soon as she
turned.
“Victoria” Riley screamed, his last words as Seth tore him apart. She
knew. Her instinct was kicking in, her mind plotting her escape. She
picked an opening in the trees… I saw her intended direction and
adjusted accordingly.
“No, stay just a little longer” I taunted her, knowing she was about to
flee. She thought she could leave then, to escape as she had for all
the years of her long existence… she had never failed before. But I
was faster. As soon as she turned, I was on her and, with a move I
had perfected after almost a hundred years, I tore her head from her
body.
It was over.
Mirror 25

It was deeply satisfying, after all the planning, then standing by,
listening to the battle, to have been a part of it all, to have
contributed in a significant way. Seth was expressing the same
sentiments, walking proudly around the camp and into the forest to
gather all the pieces of the vampires for burning.
I started the fire in the clearing with the pile of body parts I had
collected of Victoria. With a satisfying thud, I threw in her
dismembered head. I went to help Seth collect Riley. He had made a
mess of him, but had done well. He would be a good fighter – he had
patience and strategy… he kept his wits about him in battle.
“Get every piece,” I warned him… we could leave no piece behind…
We both used our sense of smell to locate the remaining chunks he
had torn off in battle, scouring the campsite and the surrounding
woods until we were sure there was nothing left.
At the same time I kept tabs on Bella. She had hardly moved since
the battle ended. She was in shock… It was to be expected. I was a
monster. More than the monster who hurt her with my selfishness
and carelessness. I was a real monster who had torn apart and
dismembered another being… Regardless of whether that being was
trying to kill her, Bella would now see me for what I truly was.
And, unlike when James had attacked, she was fully aware, fully
conscious of the entire fight. She had watched everything from her
perch by the ledge. Surely, she would change her mind now…
I gave her time to calm, to self-sooth as I thought about how to
approach her without scaring her further.
They can keep us out of the fight, but they couldn’t keep the fight from
coming to us… … Seth chuckled, proud of our work today.
I grinned back, bumping my fist with his nose, “Nice teamwork”
I guess you have one more battle to fight, Seth laughed, nose pointing
toward Bella who still had the rock in her hand as if she were ready
to attack. Good luck man, his passing thought.
I sighed deeply. The time had come to face her, to face the
inevitable… I walked toward her with exaggerated slowness, my
hands out, as carefully as I could; gauging her colour, her breathing,
her heart beat for any sign of distress. I was sorry she had to see all
that, sorry that she would be exposed to danger – and to all I had
done. I wondered if I could calm her or whether she would panic if I
approached.
“Bella, love” I started, in the softest voice I could manage. “Bella, can
you drop the rock, please? Carefully. Don’t hurt yourself.” The image
of the Third Wife came unbidden to my mind. I worried that she
would strike at herself, in fear of me… She hesitated. I froze… eyes
on the rock, prepared to move quickly if needed, to protect her from
herself. Perhaps I should have sent a message through Seth for Alice
to come up…
Then she dropped the rock. I exhaled the air I wasn’t consciously
holding. But she was still wary, afraid of me. I didn’t dare move. I
needed to convince her she was safe “You don’t have to be afraid,
Bella. You’re safe. I won’t hurt you.”
Confusion crossed her face. Did she even know who I was? Was she
having some kind of psychotic episode? I rechecked her vitals,
everything seemed healthy. I wasn’t sure she was even capable of
hearing me, but I spoke anyway, hoping she would break soon, “It’s
going to be all right, Bella. I know you’re frightened now, but it’s
over. No one is going to hurt you. I won’t touch you. I won’t hurt
you.”
Finally, she blinked – a good sign of rational thought. Maybe she was
finally coming out of it. Maybe she had heard me and understood…
Finally she spoke, “Why do you keep saying that?”
Perhaps she was having an episode. She stepped toward me
hesitantly. I wasn’t sure what to expect… would she lash out? I
leaned away, waiting to see what she would do. Allowing myself
space to react appropriately.
“What’s wrong?” she whispered, “What do you mean?”
“Are you…” I was staggered, confused. She seemed to be coherent.
She should be in shock, “Aren’t you afraid of me?”
“Afraid of you? Why?”
She took another step forward, tripping over her feet, falling as she
had done so many times before. I automatically reached out to catch
her, as I had done so many times before, and suddenly she was in my
arms, sobbing as I held her to my chest. It hurt that she was in pain,
but it felt so good that I could comfort her now.
“Bella, Bella, I’m so sorry. It’s over, it’s over.”
“I’m fine,” she gasped, “I’m okay, I’m just… Freaking out. Give me. A
minute.” She sobbed into my chest. I almost laughed…Freaking out?
She was incredibly calm, considering.
Her ability to take in stride all I was and am…my entire
monstrosity…amazed me once again. I pulled her closer to me,
holding her tight in my arms, “I’m so sorry,” was all I could say…
Sorry I had doubted her, sorry that in my haste I had brought the
danger here, sorry I had hurt her and Jacob, sorry for every hurt I
had brought her way.
Her sobs slowed and she could breathe again, then she was kissing
me – her lips on my chest, my shoulder, my neck – it was pure
pleasure. I wondered at her reaction… It certainly wasn’t what I
expected, or deserved…
“Are you okay? Did she hurt you at all?” she asked, continuing to
press her lips to every part she could.
Did she hurt me? I shook my head in amazement that, amidst all this,
she would worry about me. “I’m absolutely fine,” I assured her –
burying my face in her hair, breathing in her scent, revelling in the
relief that she would be okay.
“Seth?” she asked?
I laughed, “More than fine. Very pleased with himself, in fact.”
“The others? Alice, Esme? The wolves?” she continued.
“All fine. It’s over there, too. It went just as smoothly as I promised.
We got the worst of it here.”
That final thought sobered me. What if she hadn’t insisted on my
staying with her? What if she had been alone during the battle –
chained to a tree as I had threatened? I shivered at the thought. I
was so thankful she had given me the ultimatum she had – so glad I
had been here to protect her…
“Tell me why.” She said then, more insistent then she had been
earlier, “Why did you think I would be afraid of you?”
“I’m sorry” I thought of the possibilities and what she had to witness
today, “So sorry. I didn’t want you to see that. See me like that. I
know I must have terrified you.”

The crease appeared between her eyes – the crease that always
appeared when she was deep in thought – making me wish I could
hear her thoughts, but I knew she would open up as much as she
wanted soon enough. I didn’t rush her, push her…
“Seriously?” She shocked me, “You… what? Thought you’d scared me
off?” she snorted.
I smiled inwardly – I could tell her nonchalance was a little forced.
But she was in good humour, a good sign. Perhaps I should make
sure, face her with the facts. “Bella, I just…” I hated to say the words,
to bring her more pain, but I needed to make sure she wasn’t just in
denial. “I just beheaded and dismembered a sentient creature not
twenty yards from you. That doesn’t bother you?”
I frowned in thought. Could she really be okay with all this?
She shrugged – again a little forced, but she did seem reasonably
calm, “Not really. I was only afraid that you and Seth were going to
get hurt. I wanted to help, but there’s only so much I can do…”
The picture of her, cutting herself came to mind… Anger flared up at
the image, and the story that had put the idea in her head, at the
possibility that she could have hurt herself, possibly killed herself.
“Yes. Your little stunt with the rock. You know that you nearly gave
me a heart attack? Not the easiest thing to do, that” I said with a tone
of disapproval. I glowered at her… Now that I knew she was okay, I
could barely keep the concern I had, the anger at her actions, at
bay…
“I wanted to help… Seth was hurt…”
“Seth was only feigning that he was hurt, Bella. It was a trick. And
then you…!” I tried to reign in my anger and fear at what could have
happened. “Seth couldn’t see what you were doing, so I had to step
in. Seth’s a bit disgruntled that he can’t claim a single-handed defeat
now.”
“Seth was… faking?” she asked.
I only nodded sternly, trying to emphasize the foolishness of her
actions… to make her see.
“Oh.”
I followed her eyes over to Seth then, as she assessed his status. He
was gloating as he watched over the fire, proud of his contribution…
and trying to give us some privacy.
“Well, I didn’t know that.” She said obstinately, “And it’s not easy
being the only helpless person around. Just you wait till I’m a
vampire! I’m not going to be sitting on the sidelines next time.”
A flood of emotions coursed through me all at once: amusement at
her anger, pride at her courage, adoration at her in general, hope
and despair at her desire to lose her soul and join me in this
existence, fear at what the future held and finally incredulous relief
that it was over. I teased her “Next time? Did you anticipate another
war soon?”
“With my luck? Who knows?”
So true. She was a danger magnet – but the emotion I had settled on
– relief – had already taken hold in my bones and I felt nothing but
joy to have her – for the moment.
“Hold on. Didn’t you say something before -?” she flinched then and
panic spread over her face, I suppose at the fear of what might be
coming. “About a complication? And Alice, needing to nail down the
schedule for Sam. You said it was going to be close. What was going
to be close.”
You haven’t told her yet? Seth thought… as I glanced at him. I loathed
telling her this, adding to the strain and horror of the day. I knew
how she would react, how she felt about the Volturi…
“Well” she demanded.
“It’s nothing, really.” It would be nothing, there would be no fight,
but still, “But we do need to be on our way…”
I tried to pull her away, not wanting to say the words that would
bring fear back into her life. “Define nothing,” she insisted.
I gently took her face in my hands, to calm her, as well as keep her
from doing something rash, “We only have a minute, so don’t panic,
all right? I told you that you had no reason to be afraid. Trust me on
that, please?”
She nodded against my hands, but terror flashed across her face. “No
reason to be afraid. Got it.”
I gathered my thoughts… How to say this as quickly as possible, and
yet avoid her freaking out, for real this time. My thoughts were
interrupted as I saw Leah take off from the pack… in attack.
“What’s she doing?” I asked no one in particular.
No, Leah – wait for back up, Seth whined.

In the next instant I saw the newborn. She had hidden in the forest…
I was seeing her through Leah’s eyes, smelling her through Leah’s
nose. She attacked, showing her ability, her strength and speed. The
newborn turned on her. She should not have engaged it alone. It
wasn’t a fair match. Then I saw her in trouble from a distance,
through Jacob’s eyes. In the next instant we were on top of her. “No” I
exclaimed, too late “Don’t” but at that moment I felt Jacob’s pain
through the link, as the newborn crushed his right side.
Seth cried out in anguish as he joined in the pain of the pack along
with me. I held my sides as they ached from the connection.
“Edward! Edward!” I heard Bella exclaim, but her voice was far
away.
Then I saw Sam and Paul close in and take out the newborn in a swift
attack. Jacob lay on his side, labouring under the pain, but alive. He
would heal. Sam checked on him and reported back. I tried to bring
myself back to the campsite, to reassure Bella, “its okay. We’re going
to be fine. It’s” I repeated the words to Bella.
Jacob tried to get up, and fell in pain. I winched as I felt it along with
him. The entire side must be broken. Even with his rate of healing,
he would need medical attention.
“What’s happening?” Bella cried out as he heard Seth’s cry of pain.
“We’re fine. We’re going to be okay… Sam – help him” but I already
saw Sam go to him and have him lean on him. He was trying to talk
him into fazing back to human form, but Jacob was in too much pain
to calm himself. They were trying to figure out how to get him home.
They were going to have to carry him.
I saw Bella fall then – the stress, the day must be catching up with
her. I caught her, scooping her up in my arms. We needed to get back
to the clearing – there wasn’t much time.
I need to get there – to help… Jacob needs me…
“Seth!” I shouted, pulling him out of his ill focused concern.
I have to go, now, to help him, he insisted.
“No! You go straight home. Now. As fast as you can!” I ordered
No, I need to help…
“Seth. Trust me” I insisted. He needed to be on his way before the
Volturi arrived.
He stared up at me. Okay, I trust you, he thought… and then left.
In the same moment I pulled Bella toward me and ran down the
mountain to the clearing. They were coming…
“Edward. What happened, Edward? What happened to Sam? Where
are we going? What’s happening?” she fired questions at me, trying
to make sense of everything that had just occurred…
“We have to go back to the clearing” I started, focusing on the
immediate concern, not sure how she would handle the other, “We
knew there was a good probability of this happening. Earlier this
morning, Alice saw it and passed it through Sam to Seth. The Volturi
decided it was time to intercede.”
He eyes widened and then glazed over as he body went slack. I
wondered if she was having an episode. I tried to reassure her,
“Don’t panic. They aren’t coming for us.” At least not overtly, “It’s
just the normal contingent of the guard that usually cleans up this
kind of mess. Nothing momentous, they’re merely doing their job…”
Then I recalled Alice’s vision, “Of course, they seem to have timed
their arrival very carefully. Which leads me to believe that no one in
Italy would mourn if these newborns had reduced the size of the
Cullen family.” That was what Alice had suspected, what I needed to
find out. “I’ll know for sure what they were thinking when they get
to the clearing.”
“Is that why we’re going back?” she whispered, flinching.
“It’s part of the reason. Mostly, it will be safer for us to present a
united front at this point. They have no reason to harass us, but…” I
recalled the twisted mind of the smallest, but most dangerous
member of the guard, “Jane’s with them. If she thought we were
alone somewhere away from the others, it might tempt her. Like
Victoria, Jane will probably guess that I’m with you. Demetri, of
course, is with her. He could find me, if Jane asked him to.”
I looked down at her then, taking in the panic in her face. She was
coming close to breaking – this was all too much. She made a
strained cry from the base of her throat. I tried to comfort her.
“Shhh, Bella, Shhh. It’s all going to be fine. Alice can see that.”
Confusion flitted to her eyes, “The pack?” she asked… I suppose she
was hopeful they would say as protection.
“They had to leave quickly. The Volturi do not honour truces with
werewolves.”
Her breathing quickened as her heart beat sped… Signs that she was
terrified. For herself or for the wolves, I wondered… likely for the
wolves. I cringed. “I swear they will be fine. The Volturi won’t
recognize the scent – they won’t realize the wolves are here; this
isn’t a species they are familiar with. The pack will be fine.”
I could see that her mind was racing through the increased speed of
breathing, her heart beat and the way her eyes were blinking
erratically. I was more anxious than ever to be in the clearing, to
have Carlisle nearby in case she went into hysterics. I wished I had
something to help her with this, but it was just the two of us. All I
had was myself.
“What happened?” she whispered, “Before, When Seth was howling?
When you were hurt?”
She would ask, just then, the exact information I did not want to
share with her – especially not then, not when she was so close to a
mental breakdown. It was too much. This day had been too much…
“Edward! Tell me!”
I weighed the options, would it better for her to keep the knowledge
that could hurt her away, or allow her to imagine what happened… I
decided the truth was probably a lot better then what she would
imagine.
“It was all over,” I started quietly, afraid to tell her, afraid to push
her over the edge, “The wolves didn’t count their half…” stupid –
arrogant “they thought they had them all. Of course, Alice couldn’t
see…”
“What happened?!” she demanded.
“One of the newborns was hiding… Leah found him – she was being
stupid, cocky, trying to prove something. She engaged him alone…” I
saw it all again through the packs eyes, several different angles of
the same event.
“Leah.” Her voice was relieved? I could imagine why, “Is she going to
be okay?”
“Leah wasn’t hurt.” I regretfully told her, knowing she would hone in
on the truth, knowing it would hurt her more then I liked to think it
would. She just stared at me – her mind working to put the pieces
together – to figure it out. I knew it wouldn’t take her long… but we
were nearing the clearing, I looked up at the column of smoke from
the dismembered bodies of the newborns. “We’re almost there.” I
said, hoping that fact would distract her, if only momentarily.

Her eyes followed the trail of smoke, but it wasn’t enough. She
needed to know, “Edward.” She said softly, “Edward, someone got
hurt.”
“Yes” I confirmed… knowing what question would come next.
“Who?” she didn’t surprise me, and I watched her face as she
assumed the correct answer – the pain of that answer piling up at
the edges of her eyes, waiting for my confirmation.
“Jacob”
“Of course” she said at the flood gates gave way and the pain over
took her. I could only watch hopelessly as her face when dead and
her body limp in my arms.
“Carlisle” I yelled. “Carlisle, get over here… Bella….” I couldn’t stand
to see her like this… He needed to do something. I needed to do
something. I sat down on the ground, holding her in my arms. “Bella,
Bella” I shook her lightly, “Bella, come back to me”
I saw the anguish in my face through Carlisle’s eyes. Let me look at
her, son. I nodded. He checked her vitals, her pulse, her breathing…
I’ll check her again in a couple minutes. She will likely be okay…. He
thought… LIKELY?
I held her to me, rocking back and forth, holding her face in my hand,
rubbing her arm. I couldn’t lose her. I couldn’t lose my Bella… “Come
back to me, Bella, I whispered.” I shouldn’t have told her. I shouldn’t
have said anything… Please come back to me.... Please, Bella…
It will be okay, Son, really… Relax, Carlisle thought.
Edward, relax. I see her – she’ll be okay, Alice thought.
I saw her vision, but I was too riddled with guilt to accept it…
Carlisle could see that I wouldn’t relax. He came back over to
recheck her vitals... checking her breathing, feeling her pulse. She is
fine, Edward…

“Carlisle – it’s been five minutes.” How could she be fine?

“She’ll come around when she’s ready, Edward.” Carlisle stated. You
know the medicine as well as I do, her pulse is fine, her breathing is
settling out, she is fine... “She’s had too much to deal with today. Let
her mind protect itself.”
“Alice, how long do we have?” I was panicked. What if they arrived
and Bella was comatose on the ground…
“Another five minutes. And Bella will open her eyes in thirty-seven
seconds. I wouldn’t doubt that she can hear us now.”
“Bella, honey?” Esme was as concerned as I. Bella had been out of it
for over five minutes and twenty three seconds now… “Can you hear
me? You’re safe now, dear.”
I racked my brain to think of what could help her. I went over the
last few minutes before she went under. That was the key. It was
when she had found out about Jacob. That was the last straw. She
loved him. As much as it pained me, I knew that was true. I leaned
over and tried to undo the pain that knowledge had caused.
“He’s going to live, Bella. Jacob Black is healing as I speak. He’ll be
fine.” Relief and anguish flooded through me at once as she
responded to my words. “Oh, Bella” I sighed as I lightly touched her
lips with mine.
“Edward” she spoke softly then…
“Yes, I’m here.”
“Jacob is okay?” she confirmed.
“Yes” I answered truthfully. She searched my face to be sure I wasn’t
hiding anything.

“I examined him myself” Carlisle added, seeing that this knowledge

was helping, and noting that the Volturi would be here very shortly.
“His life is not in any danger. He was healing at an incredible rate,
though his injuries were extensive enough that it will still be a few
days before he is back to normal, even if the rate of repair holds
steady. As soon as we’re done here, I will do what I can to help him.
Sam is trying to get him to phase back to human form. That will
make treating him easier.” Then he teased, seeing that Bella was
doing much better, “I’ve never been to veterinarian school.”
“What happened to him?” she said softly, her voice full of concern.
“How bad are his injuries?”
I could hear Carlisle’s concerned thoughts over Bella’s concern for
Jacob – not that she shouldn’t be concerned, only he worried what this
meant. He tried to clear those thought from his mind, knowing that I
would hear them – focusing instead on the events, “Another wolf
was in trouble”
“Leah” Bella added.
“Yes. He knocked her out of the way, but he didn’t have time to
defend himself. The newborn got his arms around him. Most of the
bones on the right half of his body were shattered.”
Carlisle noted as did I Bella’s flinch, and he wondered if he had given
too much detail. However, Bella seemed to be holding on now. He
moved onto more comforting words.
“Sam and Paul got there in time. He was already improving when
they took him back to La Push.”
“He’ll be back to normal?” Bella asked.
“Yes, Bella. He won’t have any permanent damage.”
She took a deep breath of relief then… Carlisle glanced at me once,
registering the expression on my face, and understanding that I was
struggling – happy that Bella was doing better, but not sure where we
stood now. Her love for Jacob was evident, not only to me.
“Three minutes.” Alice said quietly.
That was Bella’s cue to get up. I quickly helped her get to her feet. As
we gathered around the bonfire, I noticed her see, for the first time,
a young newborn. As I had concentrated on Bella and her recovery, a
part of my brain had already registered the newborns presence and
had gleaned from the minds of my family what had happened. But I
could see that Bella was bewildered by the young one.
“She surrendered,” I told her quietly, “That’s one I’ve never seen
before. Only Carlisle would think of offering. Jasper doesn’t
approve.” That was putting it mildly. He knew what the Volturi
would say about this infraction and he could guess what would
happen when they arrived. That was all that was keeping him from
an outright disagreement with Carlisle.
“Is Jasper all right?” she asked, noticing his rubbing.
“He’s fine. The venom stings.” I could see the pain in his mind. It
wasn’t insignificant, but Jasper had known worse – much worse, and
he handled it with ease.
“He was bitten?” she asked horrified.
“He was trying to be everywhere at once. Trying to make sure Alice
had nothing to do, actually.” I had seen the recollection in Alice’s mind
as she sulked, half ready to take him on herself. I shook my head,
knowing that I would probably have done this same if it were Bella,
“Alice doesn’t need anyone’s help.”
“Overprotective fool.” She grimaced with love and frustration.
I need her, I want her… Let me have her, I heard the newborn losing
control as she wailed. Bella’s scent was driving her mad with
bloodlust. I moved to protect her, as Jasper moved into a more
defensive posture, ready to attack at a moment’s notice. Let me know
if you see her deciding to move, he flashed a thought toward me.
Though I moved to protect Bella from the newborn – both
physically, and from seeing a very real image of what her future
held, I could see that she couldn’t remove her eyes from the girl
sitting in Jasper’s custody. I watched Bella’s eyes as she watched in
horror as the girl thrashed from side to side. I could only imagine
what she was thinking.
Jasper had just about had it. He was ready to put her and the rest of
us out of her misery. He had no desire to take on this added
responsibility, especially with a very human person in the family.
Carlisle rushed to his side, putting a hand on Jasper’s arm, as he
noted his shift in mood.
“Have you changed your mind, young one? We don’t want to destroy
you, but we will if you can’t control yourself.” He said calmly.
“How can you stand it?” She swung her head around toward the very
fragrant scent of Bella, “I want her.”
I carefully watched her thought for the first sign of loss of control.
She was battling… Jasper looked up at me and I nodded,
communicating that she was currently doing all right.
“You must stand it.” Carlisle instructed her, “You must exercise
control. It is possible, and it is the only thing that will save you now.”
She clutched at the ground to aid herself in holding back, digging her
fingers further and further into the earth, though, in reality, it
wouldn’t stop her if she lost control.
“Shouldn’t we move away from her?” Bella was clearly nervous. I
wanted nothing more than to get her far away from this volatile
newborn… but it was too late.
“We have to stay here. They are coming to the north end of the
clearing now.”
I had started to hear their thoughts as they approached, appraising
the size of the pile of burning bodies, anticipating what they might
find once they got to us. I looked through the eyes of my family to
watch the horizon, while I used my own to keep a close watch on
Bella. She had shifted slightly, so as to get a better look at the
newborn. She gazed at her with an expression I found difficult to
place – fear, compassion… she was mesmerized. I suddenly realized
why she would be so interested. This was a very real example of a
newborn. Like a mirror of her future – or her rejected future…
They’re here, Alice said. I looked up then as I started to see them
through the haze. At the other end of the clearing, watching as they
neared, tracking their thoughts… They were shocked, amazed as
they came nearer and saw the entire family standing before them.

It must not be as many as it looks to be – perhaps they had a few

larger ones adding to the bulk. Demetri thought.
“Hmmm” They are strong… Aro will be very interested… that was Jane.
“Welcome, Jane.” I greeted her without feeling, but the appropriate
courtesy. Felix, Demetri and two others fan out behind her.
Jane looked over each of us – noting no injuries or losses, then
settled on the newborn. I saw her face frown, as she considered this,
wondering why we would have left one alive. “I don’t understand.”
She said in her toneless voice.
“She has surrendered.” I explained.
What? “Surrendered?” There is no such thing.
Felix looked over at one of the others. They are foolish to let this
newborn live. Are they flaunting our rules, or simply weak?
“Carlisle gave her the option.” I said, knowing she would be hesitant
to openly criticize Carlisle.
“There are no options for those who break the rules” Jane replied
flatly. I could see that her mind was decided… this newborn’s fate
was sealed. But she wanted Carlisle to object. I could see her plan –
to provoke a reaction. To see if she could bring a charge back to the
Volturi, to please Aro. The connection she felt to him was
unnatural…

“That’s in your hands. As long as she was willing to halt her attack
on us, I saw no need to destroy her. She was never taught.” Carlisle
carefully walked the political line – not giving Jane any recourse
against him.
She was disappointed, “That is irrelevant”
“As you wish” he granted, knowing the fate was sealed before he’d
even spoken.
Jane had hoped for more – for a reaction – for something as evidence
of Carlisle’s disregard for Italy. He had given her nothing. She shook
her head slightly.
“Aro hoped that we would get far enough West to see you, Carlisle.
He sends his regards.”
“I would appreciate it if you would convey mine to him” he carefully
responded.
“Of course.” She smiled sweetly, masking the frustration. She looked
around for another avenue. “It appears that you’ve done our work
for us today… for the most part. Just out of professional curiosity,
how many were there? They left quite a wake of destruction in
Seattle.” She had assessed the size of the piles and assumed they
could not be as numerous as they seemed.
“Eighteen, including this one.” Carlisle answered.
Her eyes widened in shock as she reassessed the size. That is more
than I thought… And only seven of them… Aro will find that very
interesting.
“Eighteen?” she repeated, not quite able to maintain her calm façade.
“All brand-new. They were unskilled.” Carlisle deflected, hoping to
defuse the obvious show of strength that was bound to bring the
wrong kind of attention.
She sensed a deception then. They couldn’t all have been new, or
perhaps we weren’t as through all as they would have been “All? Then
who was their creator?”
“Her name was Victoria” I answered with the same level of calm
disinterest.
“Was?” Jane asked. Then what happened to her?
I focused far high up in the mountain where Victoria and Riley
burned. She followed my gaze, recognizing the smoke from their
burning fire. She looked back at the pile. Perhaps they had
exaggerated… “This Victoria – she was in addition to the eighteen
here?”
“Yes, she had only one other with her. He was not as young as this
one here, but no older than a year.
She was incredulous. Seven vampires against twenty… “Twenty” her
calm faltered. “Who dealt with the creator?”
“I did” I responded. She assessed me, what she knew about me – and
the family. She was having trouble believing it. Moreover, she wanted
to bring back some sign of falsehood, some signal of untruth. She
looked at the newborn. Perhaps she will give me some more
reasonable answers…
“You there.” She addressed the newborn, “your name”
The newborn glared back at her, refusing to cooperate. I saw as the
decision shifted in Jane’s mind to action and she unleashed the
power of her ability on the newborn. She moaned and writhed in
pain. It made me sick to see the affect Jane’s power had.
I looked to Bella, worried this might put her back over the edge. Her
face was stiff, set – as if she could force it to end. She looked at my
face for a moment, but then away – searching for some reprieve.
However, she seemed to be holding it together.
I sighed in relief when Jane let up. “Your name” she repeated, as if
nothing had happened.
“Bree” the girl gasped. Thank goodness it is ov- her thought cut short
as Jane unleashed her power again.
I gritted my teeth against her malevolence, “She’ll tell you anything
you want to know. You don’t have to do that.”
“Oh I know” she said, but I enjoy it so. Would you like a try? But she
went on to question the girl, “Bree, is his story true? Where there
twenty of you?”
Bree searched her memory trying to piece together the accurate
number, afraid of the consequences should she fail. “Nineteen or
twenty, maybe more” she panicked, “I don’t know!” she cried out as
she braced herself for further pain, certain it would come for her
inability to answer. When it didn’t come immediately she tried to
explain, “Sara and the one whose name I don’t know got in a fight on
the way…”
“And this Victoria – did she create you?”
“I don’t know” she was sure the pain would come now… “Riley never
said her name. I didn’t see that night… it was so dark, and it hurt…” I
saw her recall the pain of transformation in perfect clarity – similar
to the rest of us. It wasn’t something you could forget, even without
a vampire mind, “He didn’t want us to be able to think of her. He said
that our thoughts weren’t safe…”
So, she knew about your gift – and a way around it, interesting… Jane
considered. Quickly flicking her crimson eyes to me, then instantly
back to Bree.
In that second I also considered what Bree said. It explained why
Alice hadn’t been able to see the connection or foretell Riley in
Bella’s room. It explained how Victoria had managed to get in and
out of Forks undetected. If I hadn’t been up at the camp site… We
might never have known… and Bella…. I swallowed at the thought.
“Tell me about Riley” Jane continued her questioning, “Why did he
bring you here?”

“Riley told us that we had to destroy the strange yellow-eyes here”

She was glad to be able to answer – to avoid the pain, “He said it
would be easy. He said that the city was theirs, and they were
coming to get us. He said once they were gone, all the blood would
be ours. He gave us her scent,” motioning toward Bella. “He said we
would know that we had the right coven, because she would be with
them. He said whoever got to her first could have her.”
She repeated what I had heard through the wolves mind just before
they attacked. Bella was the trophy. Anger welled up in me at the
memory.
“It looks like Riley was wrong about the easy part.” Jane noted. It
certainly should have been. Their strength is not to be
underestimated…
Bree nodded in agreement, searching her mind for more
information Jane might find useful, in hopes of avoiding the previous
pain. She was eager to please now, eager to avoid Jane’s displeasure
“I don’t know what happened. We split up, but the others never
came. And Riley left us, and he didn’t come to help like he promised.
And then it was so confusing, and everybody was in pieces.” She
pictured her fellow newborns – limbs being torn from their bodies,
shirking away from the madness… “I was afraid. I wanted to run
away. That one, “motioning toward Carlisle, “said they wouldn’t hurt
me if I stopped fighting.”
“Ah, but that wasn’t his gift to offer, young one.” Jane reproached her
calmly, knowing what was to come next. “Broken rules demand a
consequence.” Something the Cullen’s would do well to remember…
What consequence?, Bree wondered, will she do that painful smile
thing again?
“Are you sure you got all of them? The other half that split off?” she
checked with Carlisle, noting that, perhaps, we didn’t actually kill 20
vampires…
“We split up to” He was careful to avoid mention of the wolves. That
was not a piece of information to get back to Aro. We can only
imagine what would happen if he knew we had sided with wolves…
“I can’t deny that I’m impressed.” Jane said. No kidding a thought
flowed from behind her. There was honesty to their thoughts – they
were impressed, and fearful. They knew they were out matched. “I’ve
never seen a coven escape this magnitude of offensive intact. Do you
know what was behind it? It seems like extreme behaviour,
considering the way you live here. And why was the girl the key?”
she looked over at Bella, evaluating her from every angle, puzzled
over her ability to draw such a reaction.
“Victoria held a grudge against Bella.” I replied.
She considered now if there was a way to use Bella to give Aro what
he wanted. What if Edward attacked? He seems to have a strong
attraction for the girl. Perhaps I could force his hand and, in turn,
hand him over to Aro. She laughed as she considered it. “This one
seems to bring out bizarrely strong reactions in our kind,” she said
as she focused her full power on Bella, drawing me on…
I held myself back from attacking only with the knowledge that she
couldn’t actually hurt Bella. Still the urge to defend her was strong,
“Would you please not do that?”
She laughed at my reaction, “Just checking. No harm done,
apparently.”
I tightened my embrace of Bella as she shivered at the threat before
us, trying to reassure her it would be okay. It was almost over.
“Well, it appears that there’s not much left for us to do. Odd… We’re
not used to being rendered unnecessary. It’s too bad we missed the
flight. It sounds like it would have been entertaining to watch.” She
was careful to avoid thinking about their reasons, but I knew it was
there... there was a glimmer in the tenor of her thoughts.
I quickly responded, in hopes of trapping that thought before she
was able to file it away, to confirm our suspicions, “Yes, and you
were so close. It’s shame you didn’t arrive just a half hour earlier.
Perhaps then you could have fulfilled your purpose here.”

“Yes.” She glared back, “Quite a pity how things turned out isn’t it?”
and the briefest moment she confirmed what Alice and I had
suspected. I saw Jane, holding the others back… their perplexed look,
wondering at the delay… and her hope that we would be destroyed…
then her disappointment when she arrived and found us all alive.
What I didn’t know was where this wish originated.
“Felix?” she said, Take care of that, her thoughts preceded her
words. At the same time I heard Carlisle’s thought, save her.
“Wait” I cut her off before she could complete the command. “We
could explain the rules to the young one. She doesn’t seem unwilling
to learn. She didn’t know what she was doing.” I repeated Carlisle’s
thoughts…
“Of course,” Carlisle confirmed, “We would certainly be prepared to
take responsibility for Bree.”
They are a foolish, compassionate coven, she thought, the tone
indicating that compassion was a foul word. They would defend one
who had tried to kill them… ridiculous. Well, it will make her
destruction all the more enjoyable…
“We don’t make exceptions, and we don’t give second chances. It’s
bad for our reputation. Which reminds me…” as she eyed Bella
again, the threat unveiled, “Caius will be so interested to hear that
you’re still human, Bella. Perhaps he’ll decide to visit.”

I saw a vision of Caius, a contingent of the guard – a large one… and

then piles of burning bodies – the bodies of my family. It was Alice’s
vision, flashing before my eyes.
“That date is set,” Alice confirmed quickly, “Perhaps we’ll come to
visit you in a few months.”
The vision faded then, as did Jane’s face. She shrugged, having never
taken her gaze off Carlisle, “It was nice to meet you, Carlisle – I’d
thought Aro was exaggerating. Well, until we meet again…”
So, they will return then, Carlisle though, and with a larger contingent
of the guard… We will have to be prepared – and send Bella to visit
once she is changed, though I don’t relish the thought of putting back
in harm’s way. It may be the only way to avoid…

“Take care of that Felix” Jane completed her earlier command, “I

want to go home.”
“Don’t watch” I warned Bella as I saw Felix approach. She eagerly
complied and I pulled her to my chest, wishing I could close her ears
from the sound that was about to confirm what she was avoiding
seeing. Wishing I could take back this entire hellish day from her
mind.
Felix took out a thin instrument, flicking it toward Bree. I growled in
response to the life he was about to take. It was over quickly, Bree
incinerated in an instant – the high pitched keen a signal of the burn
of her flesh, followed by the crunch and snapping of her bones as
they turned to dust.
Bella stiffened beneath my embrace as she heard Bree’s destruction.
I rubbed her shoulders in comfort. But there was nothing I could do
now to erase the mayhem she’d seen and heard today.
No reason to hope she wouldn’t choose to remove herself from my
hellish existence
“Come” Jane said motioning toward Felix, turning their backs to us
and heading towards the forest from which they came,
The last thought to run through Jane’s Mind was Until next time. As
their gray cloaks disappeared into the mist.
Ethics 26

I couldn’t believe it was over. I pulled Bella into my arms as I heard

the last of the Volturi guard depart. I sensed, as Carlisle suspected,
they would be back. However, for now, we were safe.
I could hear Jasper and Alice, Emmet and Rosalie and Carlisle and
Esme sharing similar expressions of relief. All I wanted to do was to
hold Bella forever and never let her go. But as my memory of all that
had transpired over the past twenty-four hours came crashing down
on me, I knew I had to do what was right for Bella, as I was sure she
would now choose.
Son, I need to check on Jacob if the wolves will let me. I may need
help… Are you willing? Carlisle asked, still embracing Esme.
I looked down at Bella, feeling her warm body pressed to mine,
breathing in her fragrant scent and feeling that familiar burn. Was I
willing to let her go now to help the man who would steal her away
forever?
Is it clear? Seth’s thoughts penetrated my mind.
“They’ve left, Seth. You’re free to come over.” I said, looking over at
Carlisle, concern crossing his face.
The huge tan wolf loped into the clearing, padding straight up to me,
nose touching my hand in greeting. Sam sent me to tell you, they have
convinced Jacob to phase back to human form, but it looks like he’s
already started healing… he broke off then as his concern over took
his conscious thought. I saw, instead, the focus of his concern. Jacob
broken and bruised, lying on a table, his right arm and leg broken in
what appeared to be multiple fractures, stuck out in awkward,
unnatural positions. The picture was sickening, and I understood his
fear.
You are invited to La Push to see if you can help. We can’t take him to
the hospital… again, Seth’s thoughts broke off.
“Jacob has phased back, but he may need some medical attention.” I
trailed off now. Bella didn’t need to hear the rest. I could protect her
at least from this. “Sam has waved the treaty to invite you to help.”

Can they tell if the bones are setting properly? Carlisle asked,
avoiding speaking so as to reduce the stress on Bella’s fragile mind.
I shook my head, “I think I’ll come help you Carlisle” I responded,
then looked at Seth questioningly.

That will be fine, Seth confirmed Sam’s approval.

“Edward,” Bella looked up at me, eager yet hesitant, apologetic at the

same time, “Can I come? I want to see him… I want to see that Jacob
is all right.”

I don’t know if she should see that… and Charlie is there, Seth added.

“Bella that might not be the best idea right now. Charlie is there, and
we are supposed to be camping while you are shopping with Alice…”
She slumped her shoulders in disappointment and acceptance.
“I’ll call as soon as he leaves.” I promised.
“Thank you.” She hugged me in response.
“Edward, we need to get over there. I want to do what I can to help
him – after all they’ve done for us.” The words were a cover for the
concern he had for Jacob’s rapidly healing body – worried that if he
didn’t get there soon, the bones might heal over unset, causing
permanent damage.
“I’ll take care of her” Alice added, “We can bring her as soon as it’s
clear.”
I nodded. I gave Bella one final embrace, reluctant to let her go. She
seemed just as reluctant… though that was likely due to her concern
for Jacob.
I left with Carlisle as we ran back to the house as quickly as possible,
Seth on our tail, to pick up Carlisle’s car. It would have been faster to
run directly to La Push, however, Charlie was there. In 8 minutes we
arrived in La Push, at Billy Blacks house for the first time in all the
years we had lived in Forks. Though we were in a rush to get there,
my mind noted the quaint houses, the children running between the
yards and through the streets, the strong sense of community and
culture. I could see Bella here… She would fit in. I could imagine her
sitting on the front porch of one of the houses, watching over a
group of dark haired children… She could be happy.
We quickly went in to find Jacob lying across the dining room table
in obvious pain. Like Seth’s memory, his body was swollen, broken
and bruised along his right side. Every breath, every movement was
painful. He looked over as we walked in. “Holy S-!” started a string of
profanities as he had moved his head slightly. I didn’t need to see in
his mind that the pain was intense. It was evident in his eyes…
though in addition to the physical pain was the deep rooted concern,
would he ever walk normally again? Would he ever run? The
combined pain kept a string of moans and profanities escaping from
his mouth every few minutes.
“We were just heading back to town when I got the call on my cell
phone.” Carlisle stated, establishing our cover. “I was closer, so I
came right over, after dropping off Jasper and Emmet. Edward
wanted to see if he could help.”
Jacob looked up at me then in wonder, the movement triggering
another round of strong language.
Charlie seemed to accept the story without question as he looked
over at Jacob with concern. “Thank you Dr. Cullen… Edward. It
wouldn’t have been necessary if Jacob hadn’t been riding that damn
fool bike.” He glared, “You know, I’ve seen thousands of accidents on
these highways – motorcycles are dangerous, Jacob.”
“Bet you’re glad she loves Cullen instead of me today, huh, Charlie?”
He offered a grim smile, but the movement caused another throb of
pain, “Mother F…” Charlie cringed at the string of profanities, but
didn’t say anything more.
“Yes, well” Carlisle started, “I think I need to take a look at Jacob
now. I’m concerned he may have broken bones that might start
healing without being properly set.”
I could hear Charlie’s appreciation for Carlisle’s concern and yet a
slight wonder at his hurry. He had seen his fair share of broken bones
in his time and knew there was quite a bit of time before the bones
would begin to knit. He also wondered why Carlisle would agree to
come here instead of insisting on Jacob coming to the hospital…
Carlisle examined Jacob. It’s as I thought – the bones have already
started to heal. I’m going to need to re-break them. Edward, I’m
going to need your help to keep him steady while I do this. Can you
handle that? Carlisle’s gaze bore through me along with his
thoughts. He was really asking if I would help this man, my rival,
knowing how I had felt about him, how I struggled with his hold over
Bella.
I swallowed… then nodded slightly. I would do this for Bella. She
deserved someone who was whole, who was fully healthy and able
to care for her. If she was to choose him, I would do what I could to
make sure he was someone who could take care of her, protect her.
“I’m going to set the bones now.” Carlisle said to Billy, “It may be
painful for Jacob.”
Billy nodded in understanding at the warning. “Charlie, I think I’m
going to need some fresh air. It is a little crowded in here. Can you
take me out front?” Charlie manoeuvred Billy out the door, followed
by several of the pack, leaving Carlisle and I with Jacob, and Sam.
“I don’t think I can give you much for the pain, Jacob” Carlisle said,
after the room cleared, “Anything I give you at this point will lessen
your mental control. I am guessing you’ll need that to keep from
fazing while I reset your bones?” He looked to Sam.
Sam nodded, “I think you are right. I’ll do what I can to help him.”
Carlisle turned back to Jacob. “Jacob, Edward is going to hold you
while I re-break the bones and set them properly. If I don’t do this
you won’t regain use of your arm and leg. Do you understand?”
Jacob took a deep breath and nodded.
Standing across the table from Carlisle, I stepped up and held his
core in place with one hand, putting the other on his shoulder. Jacob
winced under my touch, but said nothing this time, only glaring at
me. Again, he breathed carefully and tried to establish a sense of
calm.
“First I’ll reset the breaks it the arm.” Carlisle advised as he took a
hold at various points along his forearm. Then, in a quick move there
was a loud crack and Jacob’s forearm lay in a more natural position.
“SON OF A -” Jacob yelled, shivering slightly. Carlisle and I both
stepped back and waited.
“Stay calm, Jacob” Sam said in a soothing but authoritative voice.
Jacob took a few deep breathes and relaxed.
“I’m going to continue with the upper arm. Are you ready?” Carlisle
asked, already putting his hands into position, as I stepped back up
to the table to brace him. Jacob nodded and as swiftly as the first,
there was the loud sound of bone breaking and his upper arm lay
normally.
“YOU SLIMY BLOODSUCKING F-” Jacob released his pain in another
long string of profanities.
We waited while he shivered and fought for control, Sam’s calm,
careful voice guiding him. We continued this slow, painful and
profanity ridden process as Carlisle reset his shoulder, two breaks in
his leg and finally bandaged up his ribs… I could hear Charlie’s
disapproving tone at the language which he could clearly hear from
the front yard.

At least Edward is always polite… would never use that kind of

language around Bella…more responsible too…motorcycles…”
When it was over, Jacob lay breathing heavily, labouring under a
dull ache, that was a mild discomfort in comparison with the pain he
was carried in with. The contorted expression in his face was gone.
Though his body was still swollen and bruised, it looked normal.
“I’m sure Billy will want to see his son now.” Carlisle stated,
prompting Sam to go to the door. Billy followed him in with Charlie
pushing his wheelchair, followed by the rest of the pack. Billy’s face
was full of pride. He knew the kind of effort and control this had
taken Jacob.
“Well, you’re looking much better, Jacob. Dr. Cullen must have done
a good job!” Charlie looked appreciatively at Carlisle, and then me.
“Well, I’d better get home. I’m sure Bella will be along soon.”
“I think they were planning a shopping trip today. I’ll be sure to send
her on home as soon as I see her.” Carlisle replied.
“See ya… take care Jacob – stay off those motorcycles…”
“Sure, sure.” He said with a faint smile.
“Billy,” he tipped his head and headed off.
After the cruiser drove away, I picked up the phone to call Bella.
“Edward, how is he? Is he alive? Is he okay?” Her worried voice
pounded me with questions.
“Yes, he’ll be fine. I suppose you’ll want to come see for yourself?”
“Can I?”
“Charlie just left. I’ll come get you.”
“You don’t need to do that. I’ll drive over.”
“It might be difficult to hide the truck if Charlie returns – besides I’m
faster.” I argued. Truthfully, I just wanted to see her again, to hold
her one last time before she saw him.
I was there in minutes, throwing her on my back and racing back to
La Push.
“Is he really going to be okay, Edward?” she asked.
“Yes. Carlisle reset his bones. He will make a full recovery.” I
reassured her.
“I just feel so…” her voice trailed off into a sob.
“Bella, it will be okay.”
“It’s my fault… It’s all…” I could feel her shaking on my back. We
were near the house, so I slowed, pulling her around to my front and
holding her, wishing I could ease her guilt.
“Bella, there’s nothing you could have done. Don’t make yourself
over the coals. Besides, we’re here. You don’t want him to see you
like this, do you?”
“No” she whimpered a little more, then took a deep breath and
calmed herself. “Okay, I’m ready.” I led her in the house.
“Jacob is resting in his room now, Bella. You can go in and see him,
but he won’t be much company I’m afraid.” Carlisle advised.
“What’s wrong with him?” Bella asked, worried.
“His right arm and leg were broken… and several of his ribs.
Unfortunately he started healing before I could help him so I had to
re- break his bones to set them properly.”

Carlisle and I both noticed the colour drain from her skin. “We
knocked him out, Bella.” He stretched the truth for the sake of her
mental health, “He’s completely out now. You can see him, just not
for a long time.”
I held her hand as she opened the door, taking in the sight before
her. It wasn’t pretty, but it was far less gruesome then the site of his
broken body when we had first arrived.
“Oh… my…” Bella whispered, tears rolling down her face. I squeezed
her hand gently, offering what comfort I could.
“He’s healing so quickly it didn’t make sense to put him in plaster.
We used braces to hold him steady though – so the bones heal
properly.” Carlisle advised.
She looked ill with worry. Standing beside her, I felt like the best
friend, the one holding her hand while she looked over the man she
loved… It was as if I had traded places with Jacob. For once, I could
truly empathize with how he had felt these past few months. I gave
her a small hug, “I’ll leave you for a few moments.” She sat down on
the bed as I walked out with Carlisle.

How is she? Carlisle asked as I closed the door to Jacob’s room.

“She’ll be okay. She is mostly just worried about him. She’ll be fine if
he is. I’m just glad he is out now…”
He won’t be for long. His body just burned through the first dose I gave
him after his bones were set. At first, I didn’t know if there was any
use… He mused, his medical mind trying to figure out this new puzzle...
And how are you? He looked back at me.
I shrugged. There wasn’t much I could say, or really wanted to say
given the location. I was racked with guilt and worry – guilt over all I
had put Bella through the past few days…over the past two years for
that matter – and worry about what I would do when she left me.

Carlisle laid a comforting hand on my shoulder. It will all work out,

Son…
We sat in silence for a few moments and then the silver cell phone
rang.
“Alice.” Carlisle answered… “Thank you.” He hung up.
“We need to get Bella back. Charlie is suspicious. He is deciding
between coming to check on Jacob, coming to check on Bella, or
staying at home and waiting. She needs to get back and be
prepared.”

“She’s a lousy liar.” I noted grimly.

“Alice has some bags from shopping. She’ll talk her through it.”
I hated to put one more weight on her shoulders, another obligation
to the Cullen family – to me. But Carlisle was right. I knocked on the
door before opening. Bella hadn’t moved from where I had left her,
sitting cross-legged on the end of the bed.
“Bella, Jacob needs his rest.” I reached for her hand, “And Alice
called. You need to get home. Charlie knows I am back and he’ll start
to get suspicious.”
She nodded sadly as she took my hand, rose and left with me. I ran
her back to Alice to prepare her for her obligation, perhaps the last
obligation she would ever have for my family.
You need to go back, Edward. Charlie is still undecided. He may
return to La Push, Alice advised as I neared. I rolled my eyes at her
insistence, but complied.
“Bella, I’ll go back and watch over Jacob… I’ll see you later.” I
swallowed as I wondered at what ‘later’ would entail.
Don’t worry, Edward. It will all work out, Alice chastised my glum
expression. I’ll talk to her, help her deal with today. She’ll be fine,
Edward. However, she didn’t call forth a vision for me to see to confirm
her words.
Carlisle and I stayed at the Black house for most of the afternoon.
He’s healing amazingly fast. It’s actually quite satisfying to see the
results so quickly. Carlisle mused. I just watched over him, imagining
what my life would be like without Bella – how I would manage
when she was with him. I pictured her walking down the aisle, on
Charlie’s arm, dressed in white – but now Jacob was waiting for her.
The pain of that vision almost crippled me. I needed to be happy for
her. Would I stay in Forks to see that happen? I didn’t know, but I
thought I would at least want the option.
Son? Carlisle interrupted, it’s time to go. Bella has gone home to
Charlie and Jacob is healing well.
I grimly nodded my head.

Alice found me in my room, sitting on the couch – staring at my

bed… at our bed. I was torturing myself, I knew – holding the ring
box in my hand, staring at the bed where she had finally agreed to
marry me. The stone of the ring caught the light, sending a
glimmering sparkle toward my face, but no light to brighten the
dark melancholy I was in, as I re-lived every moment of that
precious night.
Edward?

I ignored her.
Edward, what are you doing?
I shrugged, not trusting my voice.
Edward, she’ll be fine.
I looked up at her and saw my tortured expression through her eyes.
What’s wrong? She flew to my side… No wonder Jasper… her passing
thought lost as she wrapped her arms around me… It’s going to be
fine, Edward. She showed me the vision of our wedding, still strong
in her mind, avoiding any view of Bella. I shook my head in disbelief.
I just came to tell you, Bella went to see Jacob, or at least I assume she
did. I saw her in her truck on the road to La Push, and then she
disappeared.
My head fell to my hands… the ring box to the floor.

NO, Edward… Listen to me! She wants you. She needs you. Look at me!
Alice grabbed me as I saw Bella, sitting in her truck, holding her sides,
sobbing…
Needs 27

I found her by the side of the road, exactly as Alice’s vision had
shown. The truck rocked slightly from the force of her sobs. I quickly
opened the door, slipped in and pulled her into my arms.
She became hysterical then, her cries increasing in volume and
intensity. I had never felt so helpless – not even when she was
freezing on the mountain top, did I feel like this. All I could do was
hold her, rocking her gently.

She was just barely calm when she finally found her voice.
“Cha….lie…. Charlie”
“Are you really ready to go home?” She was far from in control. She
wouldn’t want him to see her like this. He didn’t handle emotions
any better than she did.
“Won’t…get… better.” She cried, “Need to….. Before…..call Billy….”
I wasn’t sure exactly what she was saying, but she was anxious to
get home. I carefully moved her over to the passenger seat, while I
took the wheel. Keeping one arm around her, I tried to calm her, so
she could face Charlie. For once, I was in no hurry as I drove through
Forks. She needed the time.
I could see her fighting for control, finding the calm she needed to
get in the house. She had practiced that move so often lately, yet it
eluded her now. Her face and eyes were red from crying, her eyes
puffy and sad, wet marks stained her cheeks. There was no avoiding
Charlie like this. She took a deep breath… then a fresh set of tears
and sobs. This wasn’t going to work.
I was about to tell her I would take her home – to my home – when
she managed to gain a measure of calm as we neared her house. Her
eyes still bled tears down her red and puffy cheeks, but her sobs had
lost their sound. She slipped out of the cab to go to the house. I didn’t
know what to do… to follow her, to wait, to leave…

“Wait for me upstairs.” She mumbled, answering my unspoken

question.
In an instant I was beside her, pulling her into one last hug, willing
her to have the strength until I saw her again in her room. Then I let
go and flew up to her room so I would be there for her when she
needed me.
I heard her greet Charlie and work her way through the necessary
questions. She was doing quite well, considering. I admired her
strength.
“I’ll be in my room” I could hear the approaching sob in her voice
and knew she would be here soon. Charlie wouldn’t interrupt
tonight. He had lived through one round of heartbreak. He knew
now to stay away and let her cry herself out.
She stumbled into the room, unseeing, for the tears blinding her
eyes. She reached for her wrist – to undo the clasp – Jacob’s gift. Her
fingers shook too much – she couldn’t manage it. Nor should she…
“No, Bella. It’s part of who you are.”
I pulled her in close just as the tears and sobs started anew. I
scooped her into my arms and carried her to the bed, lying down
with her. I pulled the blanket up and tucked it around her to keep
her warm from my cold body, while brushing one hand across her
face, down her arm, trying to sooth her.
“Sssh, Bella… Shhh.”
“I….. So stupid….my fault!” She said through her sobs. I wondered at
her words. I was afraid she was regretting her decision, but then she
pulled me tighter as a fresh set of tears flowed.
I wonder… maybe I should see her… no…. she wouldn’t want
that….not so bad. I was momentarily shocked at Charlie’s thoughts.
How could he think this wasn’t so bad? How could it be worse? But I
knew how it could be worse. I’d seen how bad it could be through
Jacob’s memory. This was bad, but it wasn’t as bad as that.
I thought about that mistake I’d made, about the decisions I had
come to along the way since I’d met Bella. If I had done things
differently, could I have saved her all this guilt and pain? If I had
accepted the strength of her love, and not left, she wouldn’t have
made such a connection with Jacob. I had thought that was my
burden to bear, but I seen how it was also hers. If had stayed, the
connection that was causing her such pain… I shook my head at my
foolishness. And, when I had come back, forcing them apart – then
throwing them together. I had contributed to this… I had allowed it
to happen, in my fear and insecurity, I had opened the door for her
pain and hurt.
I realized that I had never fully respected or honoured her decision.
I had tried to force her away, force her to stay and then, even when
she had chosen, I hadn’t accepted it. She was more than capable of
making her own decisions, and yet I had scorned them time after
time.

She had quieted then for a moment. I drew a sigh of relief,

momentarily strengthening my grasp on her. Her eyes opened
slightly to me then, and a fresh look of horror crossed her face.
“I’m s-s-s-so so-o-sorry.” She buried her head in my chest and
wailed… chastising herself, thrashing…. It was worse than the
crying. It was almost as if she wished to physically hurt herself. I
held her close, restraining her arms as she wailed about. “Stupid,
stupid, stupid.” She started repeating at one point and I briefly
considered calling Carlisle to provide a sedative. But she needed to
get this out.
At about two in the morning she started to calm – not because she
was done, but because she was exhausted. She fell into a restless
sleep then, thrashing now and again… mumbling about mistakes…
and being sorry.
I continued to hold her through the night, unwilling to let go. I
wished I could take her pain away, that I could go back and undo all
the things I had done to put her in this position. But whereas I had
thought before about how I shouldn’t have been in her life, I thought
now about how, if I had only accepted things from the beginning,
things might have been much, much better.

I wondered at that – how we go through life, making the biggest

mistakes, thinking, all the while, we are doing the right thing. Only,
looking back on things now, could I truly recognize my foolishness. I
suppose that is the way life is at times. I wished it didn’t have to be
for Bella.
I tried to consider how this could be good for her, how choosing me
could be the best thing... Was there a compromise? I recalled the
words Bella had said to Charlie before coming up to her room,
“Sometimes, there isn’t any way to compromise.” Perhaps she was
right, but I wished there were some way for her to have us both – to
be happy.

I watched her face as she dreamed. It wasn’t pleasant dreams. Her

face creased with worry and stress, but also, at times, resolution.
Her rest brought her some measure of healing or so it seemed. I
wondered what the morning would bring.
She finally calmed down for good at around four in the morning. I
loosened my hold on her so I could lean back and look at her face.
Her swollen eyes, her flushed cheeks pained me – tears she had
cried because of me.

I traced my finger under her eyes and along her cheek, hoping my
coolness would provide some relief. Her pain over her decision to be
with me was too much. She shouldn’t have to endure it. She had
already born so much. I wondered at the malevolent angel I
imagined governed her life and why she would have been made to
suffer so. And so I held her until morning. I knew now she had made
her decision, but wondered at the wisdom of her choice. Surely she
would be happier with him. I wouldn’t force her to change her mind,
but perhaps I could help her reconsider.
She woke suddenly, opening her eyes to me. I peered back into those
endless pools, trying to see into her soul… her mind – to decipher
whether she would be okay. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying
and fatigue and the swollen tissue surrounding them had not
receded.

“Hey” she said hoarsely.

I flinched at her non-challenge. Perhaps, in the morning light, she
had forgotten the previous day. As she awoke, she would likely
remember, and I would comfort her as long as she wanted me.
“No, I’m fine.” She answered my unspoken doubt, “That won’t
happen again.”
Won’t it? I wondered, trying with all my ability to see into her mind,
settling for her eyes again, still seeing sorrow and pain, but
acceptance too.

“I’m sorry that you had to see that.” She said, “That wasn’t fair to
you.”
Of all the people who should worry about fairness, I wasn’t one of
them. The pain I had brought into her life wasn’t fair. I had to be
sure. I held her face in my hands watching her eyes for my answer,
“Bella… are you sure? Did you make the right choice? I’ve never seen
you in so much pain-” but then I remembered the image of her,
comatose in the forest… then the lifeless zombie that showed up at
the Black house… and the image of her holding her sides… The
visions Jacob had showed me. No, I had caused her much more pain
than this.
“Yes” she confirmed as her finger traced my lips. Her eyes were
resolute.
“I don’t know” I insisted. I didn’t deserve her. If she could just
choose him, I could cause her pain no more. “If it hurts you so much,
how can it possibly be the right thing for you?”
“Edward, I know who I can’t live without.”
“But” I tried to convince her but she shook her head to cut me off.
“You don’t understand. You may be brave enough or strong enough
to live without me, if that’s what’s best. But I could never be that
self-sacrificing. I have to be with you. It’s the only way I can live.”
She seemed so sure, so resolute, but she was completely mistaken.
She was the most self-sacrificing, the most brave, the strongest
person – far more then I. It was I who needed her.
“Hand me that book, will you?” she asked, pointing to her beaten and
worn copy of Wuthering Heights.

She wanted to read now? “This again?”

“I just wanted to find this one part I remembered… to see how she
said it…” She flipped to the well worn, dog eared page that she must
have loved so much, “Cathy’s a monster, but there were a few things
she got right” she said almost to herself as her eyes searched the
page. I could already hear the long memorized words in my mind as
she started to read them. “If all else perished, and he remained, I
should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were
annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.” She
nodded her head as if in agreement, and then looked up into my
eyes. “I know exactly what she means. And I know who I can’t live
without.”
Right about the time she began to read from her wretched, well
loved book, I finally understood. Her love for me was beyond the
feeble feelings of a mere human. By some strange twist of fate,
though I didn’t deserve it, she needed me just as much as I needed
her. I pulled the book from her hands, and tossed it on the desk,
wanting nothing in between us as I pulled her to me. “Heathcliff had
his moments too” I picked the words from my memory that echoed
the strength of my love for her. “I cannot live without my life! I
cannot live without my soul!”

“Yes” she confirmed, “That’s my point.”

The small noble voice inside me insisted on giving one last objection,
one last chance for her salvation. “Bella, I can’t stand for you to be
miserable… maybe…”
But she would hear no more of it. “No Edward. I’ve made a real mess
of things, and I’m going to live with that. But I know what I want and
what I need… and what I’m going to do now.”
Somewhere inside me, what I wanted and what I thought was noble
finally clicked together and I fully believed her. We would no longer
be apart. “What are we going to do now?” I corrected.

She sighed, “We are going to go see Alice.”

See Edward… I told you. You need to believe me more often. I heard
Alice’s thoughts as we neared the house. And, by the way, you can
thank me later, and no peeking in my head. I smiled. She was
exuberant. I just hoped she would let Bella have what she wanted.
“Thank you, Bella!” she sang when we arrived. I shot her a warning
look.
“Hold it, Alice.” Bella said sternly, holding up her hand, “I’ve got a
few limitations for you.”
“I know, I know, I know. I only have until August thirteenth at the
latest, you have veto power on the guest list, and if I go overboard
on anything, you’ll never speak to me again.”

“Oh, okay. Well, yeah. You know the rules then.”

“Don’t worry, Bella, it will be perfect. Do you want to see your
dress?” Don’t peek, Edward she thought as I caught a glimpse of
white before she started reciting the constitution.
Bella turned white at that. I could see this was too much, too fast. I
glared at Alice. What was she thinking? I was about to intervene to
rescue her, but Bella took a deep breath and cut me off.

“Sure.” She said, though I could see she was reluctant.

See Edward! No need to object. She had seen what I had decided to
say. She does want all this. It will be perfect, she smiled smugly back
at me.

“Um, Alice.” Bella started, forced calmness covering her panic,

“When did you get me a dress?”
I squeezed her hand in comfort, letting her know I was here for her,
should she need to bolt. Alice eyed the firm grip I kept on Bella’s
hand. You’re going to have to make yourself scarce, Edward, you can’t
see it before the wedding… keeping her mind off the dress by
changing to Spanish as she repeated the constitution.

She led Bella upstairs as I trailed behind, unwilling to allow her to go

through this alone. “These things take time, Bella, I mean I wasn’t
sure things were going to turn out this way, but there was a distinct
possibility…”
“When” Bella insisted. Briefly I saw the answer flash through Alice’s
mind before she changed from Spanish to Portuguese. Last year? She
had done this before James? Before I introduced her to the family? I
shook my head.

“Perrine Bruyere has a waiting list, you know. Fabric masterpieces

don’t happen overnight. If I hadn’t thought ahead, you’d be wearing
something off the rack.”
“Per-who?” Panic rose in her face.
“He’s not a major designer, Bella, so there’s no need to throw a hissy
fit. He’s got promise, though, and he specializes in what I needed.”

“I’m not throwing a fit.”

“No you’re not” But I will if you don’t leave, Edward. I’ve kept this a
secret from you for far too long for you to ruin it now. I braced myself,
unwilling to leave her side.
She glared back, “You – out!” she insisted out loud.
“Why?” Bella demanded.
“Bella,” she groaned, “You know the rules. He’s not supposed to see
the dress till the day of.”
Bella took a deep breath, preparing for her objection. “It doesn’t
matter to me. And you know he’s already seen it in your head. But if
that’s how you want it…” she gave in.

See! Was Alice’s parting thought as she shoved me out the door. I
watched Bella, looking for any sign that I should rescue her. She
seemed resolved… no resigned. This wasn’t what she wanted; she
was just letting Alice have her way.
I was just about to pull her out when Alice slammed the door on my
face. GO AWAY, Edward… NO PEEKING!
I sighed and leaned against the wall. I concentrated on keeping my
mind somewhere else, but part of my mind watchful for the first sign
of distress. I worried about her new resolve. She was just letting this
happen. There was no fight in her. Our wedding should be a happy
occasion – something she wanted… Who was I kidding? This whole
wedding wasn’t something she wanted. She had always only wanted
me, forever. She hadn’t needed a ceremony, a ring or a piece of
paper. She had been decided from the beginning. It was my
insecurities, my rules, and my insistence that had caused her so
much pain. I had thought I knew better. I shook my head. I had been
so wrong.

“I’ve got so much to do! Go play with Edward. I have to get to work.”
I could see Alice’s mind already at work, pulling together the details
of our wedding. She was ecstatic, “Esme!” she called out as she went
to finalize all the arrangements.
I turned to Bella to see if there was any joy in her face. There was
only acceptance. “That was very, very nice of you.”
“She seems happy.” She said, resigned.
But are you, my dear Bella? You are the one who should be happy. I
tried very hard to not make any decisions that Alice would object to
as I reached for her. Fortunately, her mind was preoccupied with
wedding plans and keeping her mind off the dress. “Let’s get out of
here. Let’s go to our meadow.” I suggested. We could talk there. I
could decide their how to bring some joy to her face.
It worked, she brightened minutely, “I guess I don’t have to hide out
anymore, do I?”
“No. The danger is behind us.”
I thought over all that had occurred to me last night and while I
waited for her to be released by Alice. All she had ever wanted was
me – to be with me, to love me, to spend every minute with me. And
I had fought her every step of the way. What if I had accepted her
love trusted her to know her own mind from the very beginning.
How much danger would we have avoided?
I really thought it through, examining it from every angle, seeing
everything so clearly in hindsight. If I had simply accepted her love
from the first, I could have changed her then, avoiding James. If I had
let her be changed, or changed her myself after James and stayed
with her, we would have avoided the months of pain and the danger
of the Volturi.
If, even after that, I had allowed her to be changed when she asked,
when she insisted on our family vote – there would have been no
fear or danger of Victoria or the Volturi. If I hadn’t insisted on a
wedding – we could be fully together now, and she wouldn’t have to
endure another event, another thing in her life she didn’t want.
Could I do this? I let my mind wander consciously down a path I
have never allowed previously. Sure, in a moment of passion, I have
often been close to losing control – but for once I really thought
through what it would mean to give her the one thing she really
wanted – the one thing that truly cemented our relationship and
made us belong to each other. In many cultures there was no
ceremony – this was the act of marriage, the confirmation of
commitment…

Did I have enough control? Carlisle seemed to think so… But still, I
doubted. I had been so close to losing control before – the night I
decided to let her go see Jacob… the night she agreed to marry me…
What would have happened if I had? I didn’t know the answer, but
for once, I was completely unsure of what the right thing was. I had
been so sure before – and it only caused her pain.
Our meadow was perfect – peaceful, happy, no Alice. I lay besides
her, thinking through all this, holding her hand. Am I making
decisions for her now? Perhaps I should see what she really wants…
hmmm…her conditions for Alice - that would be a good place to
start. Maybe that would be the clue to her true wishes.

“August thirteenth?” maybe the date held some significance.

“That gives me a month till my birthday. I didn’t want to cut it too
close.” She confirmed it wasn’t the date or the event. She simply
wanted to get through my requirements in time to meet some
arbitrary deadline she had in her mind. Why should she rush this? I
sighed trying to find some way to help her accept more time – to do
what she really wanted.
“Esme is three years older than Carlisle – technically. Did you know
that?”
She shook her head.
“It hasn’t made any difference to them.”
When she spoke, she wasn’t panicked, as I thought she’d be. She was
calm, serene. “My age is not really that important, Edward, I’m
ready. I’ve chosen my life – now I want to start living it.”
I believed her words, and pleasure flowed through me… but the
wedding? Was she really happy with that? I noticed how her hair
shone in the sun. Brown – so beautiful… I couldn’t resist touching it,
remembering the first day in the car that I can circum to that
temptation, as I had tried to unlock her secrets.
“The guest list veto?” I asked, trying to unlock more of her secrets
now.
“I don’t care really, but I…” she hesitated. I glanced at her face as it
changed from uncertainty to resolve. “I’m not sure if Alice would feel
the need to invite… a few werewolves. I don’t know if… Jake would
feel like… like he should come. Like that’s the right thing to do or
that I’d get my feelings hurt if he didn’t. He shouldn’t have to go
through that.”

I could hear the complexity of her emotions in her voice. Her desire
to have him there – her best friend – her fear of hurting me by
voicing that desire, her sense of duty to protect Jacob from having to
make a difficult choice… I knew, if it were me, I would want that
choice – but I saw she was doing only what I had done to her so
many times – protecting her from making choices she had every
right to make… And still it was tearing her apart. It was another
stress over something she never wanted in the first place – she was
doing all this to make everyone else happy – Jake, Alice… me.
Everyone but herself.
She should be happy. I would make her happy. I pulled her tightly to
me, “Tell me why you’re doing this, Bella. Why did you decide, now,
to give Alice free reign?” And in her explanation I saw, again, her
selflessness.
“It wouldn’t be fair to keep Charlie out of this. And that means Renee
and Phil. I might as well let Alice have her fun, too. Maybe it will
make the whole thing easier for Charlie if he gets his proper
goodbye. Even if he thinks it’s much too early, I wouldn’t want to
cheat him out of the chance to walk me down the aisle.” She
grimaced at the thought, confirming her feelings about the wedding,
“at least my mom and dad and my friends will know the best part of
my choice, the most I’m allowed to tell them. They’ll know I chose
you, and they’ll know we’re together. They’ll know I’m happy,
wherever I am. I think that’s the best I can do for them.”
My mind became more and more resolved as she explained. I would
not force her to do one more thing in her life that she didn’t want to
do. Her entire life had been duty and pleasing others. I briefly
pictured our first conversation.
“But now you’re unhappy.”
“And?” she said, as if this was not even an aspect to be considered.
Her happiness was something to be considered! I wouldn’t allow her
to sacrifice her own happiness any longer. All I wanted was her
happiness. And she could have it in whatever form she chose.
“Deal’s off” I said abruptly.
“What” she gasped, panic rising in her face, and fear of rejection,
“You’re backing out? No!”
“I’m not backing out, Bella.” I quickly assured her, “I’ll still keep my
side of the bargain. But you’re off the hook. Whatever you want, no
strings attached.”
“Why?”
“Bella, I see what you’re doing. You’re trying to make everyone else
happy. And I don’t care about anyone else’s feelings. I only need you
to be happy. Don’t worry about breaking the news to Alice. I’ll take
care of it. I promise she won’t make you feel guilty.”

“But, I-”
“No.” I cut her off, gently, but firmly. “We’re doing this your way.
Because my way doesn’t work. I call you stubborn, but look at what
I’ve done. I’ve clung with such idiotic obstinacy to my idea of what’s
best for you, though it’s only hurt you. Hurt you so deeply, time and
time again. I don’t trust myself anymore. You can have happiness
your way. My way is always so wrong. So” I shifted myself so I was
fully under her – her length laying on top of me as I lay on the
ground. Perhaps that would be the best way to keep her from injury.
“We’re doing it your way, Bella. Tonight, today. The sooner the
better. I’ll speak to Carlisle. I was thinking that maybe if we gave you
enough morphine, it wouldn’t be so bad. It’s worth a try.” I cringed
as I considered the pain she would have to endure, as I prepared
myself for the control I would need later – and now.
My mind and body twigged at that, anticipation building… our
meadow, what a perfect place to begin her happiness. I couldn’t
think of anything more poetic – more Bella.
“Edward, no-” she objected, not understanding.
I would give her everything she wanted. I stopped her objection
with my finger to explain. “Don’t worry, Bella, love. I haven’t
forgotten the rest of your demands.” My voice was husky as I
pictured what we were about to do. She had wanted this for so
long… I had wanted it for so long. The desire stirred within me as my
mind gave way to the possibilities and my body started moving of its
own accord. I tried very hard to concentrate – to keep my touches
light enough, my hold from being too tight and, at the same time,
listening for her reaction to my touch. I wanted nothing more then
to bring her joy.
Now that I was decided, there was no holding back… This – was
right. Oh, how it felt right. Bella in my arms – her radiant skin, her
intoxicating scent, the warmth of her body against mine, the heat of
her lips searing me with pleasure. Almost a century I had been a
man – but never truly. I would be a man for her… I could already see
what we would do next in my mind, picturing her glorious body
against the pale blue sky – the warmth of her under my hands – and
the majesty as we were physically united. Why had I put this off?

She responded to every touch. She wanted this as much as I did now.
I had thought keeping her on top would be safer, but she seemed to
pull away slightly. I followed her lead, rolling over, pinning her
against the soft grass. It only intensified our connection as I felt her
body under mine. She shook her head – she wanted something else?
Ah, her neck… I revelled in the taste of her as I began kissing down
her neck. Her breathing deepened in response. That must have been
what she wanted.
“Stop, Edward. Wait.” She said weakly, likely in response to some
foolish desire to make me happy. Well she didn’t need to worry. I
was very happy.
“Why?” I whispered, prepared to answer her objection quickly and
move on to her blouse.
“I don’t want to do this now.” She said unconvincingly, trying to
protect me…
“Don’t you?” I challenged. I knew she did, and I pressed my lips to
hers in confirmation. Oh, yes – she did want this! Her hands tangled
in my hair pulling me closer… Her hands moved to my chest. This
time I wouldn’t stop her as she pulled the shirt from my body. I
moaned as I thought about her bare skin against mine. It would be
glorious.
But then she pushed me away. A part of me briefly considered
ignoring her feeble push, but I was attuned to responding to her
requests – to doing what she wanted. I pulled away.

“Why” I asked her roughly. “I love you. I want you. Right now.” I
looked in her eyes and saw only confirmation. I pressed my lips to
hers again as I knew she wanted.
“Wait, wait.” She protested weakly.
“Not for me.” I confirmed back, preparing myself to take this to the
next level… anticipating it…

“Please” she gasped.

It took every ounce of strength to pull myself off her – away from
what I knew we both desired – but there was no part of my being
that would willingly force her – though I was slightly annoyed. I was
so ready for this. I realized just how much I wanted it… I tried to
calm my voice before I spoke. “Tell me why not, Bella. This had
better not be about me.” I cringed as I heard a touch of anger in my
voice.
“Edward, this is very important to me. I am going to do this right.”
She was just trying to please me. “Who’s definition of right?”
“Mine.” The resolve in her voice surprised me. I rolled over to search
her face, her eyes for any signal that she was just trying to placate
me.
“How are you doing to do this right?”
She took a deep breath, “Responsibly. Everything in the right order. I
will not leave Charlie and Renee without the best resolution I can
give them. I won’t deny Alice her fun, if I’m having a wedding
anyway. And I will tie myself to you in every human way, before I
ask you to make me immortal. I’m following all the rules, Edward.
Your soul is far, far too important to me to take chances with. You’re
not going to budge me on this.”
I loved her more than ever. I wanted her more than ever. “I’ll bet I
could” I only half teased, half seriously considering it.
“But you wouldn’t, not knowing that is what I really need.”
She was right. Drat! “You don’t fight fair.” My annoyed anger fading,
replaced with awe for her decision.
“Never said I did.” She teased back.
“If you change your mind…” I almost hoped she would. August
thirteenth was beginning to seem very far away.

“You’ll be the first to know.”

And then, as if the fates, or our own guardian angel, or perhaps God
himself confirmed our decision, the clouds opened, releasing their
rain on us. She scowled as the cool wetness of the rain as it hit her
face. I brushed it away, “I’ll get you home.”
“Rain’s not the problem. It just means that it’s time to go do
something that will be very unpleasant and possibly even highly
dangerous.”
Had she not already been through enough? What more could there
be?
“It’s a good thing you’re bulletproof. I’m going to need that ring. It’s
time to tell Charlie.” She said dismally.
I laughed at her expression and the release of tension, “Highly
dangerous” I agreed. I reached into my jeans to pull out the ring I
had hastily picked up off the floor the night before. It seemed so long
ago now. I laughed at how ridiculous I had been, moping in myself
imposed despair. “But at least there’s no need for a side trip.”

With pure joy, I slipped it on the third finger of her left hand –
marvelling at its perfect fit – her perfect fit in my life.
Epilogue Choice

“Don’t you think you’re going a little over board with this wedding?”
I asked Alice.
“You know nothing… Nothing!” she snorted back at me… Vegas…
were calling it off all together… What kind of brother are you?
I chuckled at her obstinacies as I looked over the binders, papers,
magazines and piles upon piles of samples that had taken over her
room. I lifted the edge of the binder idly, not really thinking, only to
have my hand slapped away. You stay out of there, Edward. It’s
supposed to be a surprise.

“Fine” I said as I started to walk out of her room. On one table near
the door, I noticed the box of invitations. It reminded me of Bella’s
and my conversation in the meadow. The guest list lay on top. “I’m
allowed to look at this, right?”

Yes, fine… she mused, looking over some other infinitely more
important detail like flowers. I quickly browsed the list, noting
several names I expected and a few I didn’t, like Mike Newton – I
frowned at that. But the name I had been looking for – the one
person I knew Bella wanted to be there but whom she’d never ask,
was missing. I wondered if it was Alice’s doing or hers.
I laid the list back on the box, lifting one of the ornately embossed
pieces of card stock. They were beautiful, even more so as they
announced to the world that Bella was mine and I was hers. But
there was nothing about them that represented Bella.
I paused for a moment, and then quickly snatched one copy and the
accompanying envelope before leaving the room. Alice would notice,
I was sure of that. But she wouldn’t ask.
I walked up to my room considering what I was about to do… Was
this the right thing? I hardly trusted myself anymore. I sat down at
my desk, considering. I settled my decision through the words I now
scribbled on a piece of plain note paper from my desk.

Jacob Black,
I’m breaking the rules by sending you this. She was afraid of hurting
you, and she didn’t want to make you feel obligated in any way. But I
know that, if things had gone the other way, I would have wanted
the choice.
I promise I will take care of her, Jacob. Thank you – for her – for
everything.
Edward.
I quickly folded the note in half, stuffing it and the invitation in the
envelope, addressed and stamped it. Then I quickly dropped it off in
the mail on my way over to pick up Bella – before I had a chance to
change my mind.