JUST THE

TWO OF US
life. and how to have one.
December 11, 2008
Moving in before
marriage isnt always
unwedded bliss
ALSO INSIDE
HEY, BABY: Did it hurt when you
fell from heaven?
CELEB-TASTIC: Paul Rudd, Keanu
Reeves and more!
2
December 11, 2008
Jayplay
CONTENTS
notice 4-6 | contact 7-10 | manual 14-15
health 16-17 | play 18-19 | reviews 21-22 | speak 23
12
December 11, 2008
Volume 6, Issue 15
how to know when the time is right to
drop those three little words: I love you. 9
bleeding love
the health perils involved in living with
other people. 17
your nasty nest
Jayplay takes a look at the give and
take of living with your signifcant
other before saying I do.
so happy together
Cover photo illustration by Lise Gagne.
Photo illustration below by Jessica Sain-Baird.
3
December 11, 2008
thursday, dec. 11 friday, dec. 12 saturday, dec. 13 tuesday, dec. 16
wednesday, dec.17
Scott Weiland. The
Voodoo Lounge, 8 p.m., 21+,
$27-$40, www.scottweiland.com.
KU Electro-Acoustic
Night. The Jackpot, 9 p.m.,
18+, $3-$5.
ZZ Top 5. The Czar Bar,
9:30 p.m., 21+.
Echo of the Elms/
Andrew Foshee. The
Brick, 10 p.m., 21+, $5-$7.
Pet Comfort/Golden
Animals/Oh Blessed
Thought. The Record
Bar, 10 p.m., 18+, $7, www.
myspace.com/blessedthought.
monday, dec. 15
Ladies of Lawrence
Artwork Holiday Sale.
Green Room Salon, 1 p.m., all
ages, FREE.
The Peoples Liberation
Big Band. The Record Bar,
7 p.m., all ages, $5.
Smackdown! The
Bottleneck, 8:30 p.m., 18+,
FREE.
Vetiver/Bandit Teeth.
The Jackpot, 9 p.m., 18+, $10-
$12, www.vetiverse.com/.
Hip Hop and Hot
Wings. The Peanut, 9 p.m.,
21+, $2.
sunday, dec. 14
The
Casbah is a
music venue
tucked into
the Little
Italy district
of San Diego. Its unassuming exterior
seems a clever disguise to downplay the
vibrant world within its walls, where
Nirvana, the Smashing Pumpkins and
many other iconic bands have played
over the years, and where every surface
is stained with the endearing dinginess
of rock n roll.
My friend Mauntell and I listened to
the muffed riffs of a San Diego punk
band pulse from the walls of The Cas-
bah as we waited in line outside last
January. We let our winter-worn skin
soak up the warm night, grateful that
January in Southern California doesnt
merit massive coats and mittens.
The Casbah doorman was a tower-
ing, burly man dressed entirely in black.
He had a shaggy brown beard, mazes
of colorful tattoos winding up his arms
and hardened eyes that let you know
he didnt take bull.
I handed him my drivers license.
He examined it for a few seconds, and
then his face suddenly softened and his
stern eyes sparkled. He looked up at
me curiously.
Youre from Kansas, he declared. A
smile spread slowly across his face, ani-
mating the wiry strands of his beard.
I braced myself for a Wizard of Oz
joke, or for him to ask me if I believed
in evolution.
I went to the University of Kansas,
he said.
I exhaled. Smiled.
We chatted about the football teams
victory in the Orange Bowl the week
before. He told me that he used to
hang out at the Replay Lounge, and that
he missed living in Lawrence.
That night, I realized just what a gift
and a privilege it is to be a Jayhawkto
have such a strong and instant connec-
tion with otherwise total strangers in
places you would have never imagined.
My time at the University of Kan-
sas comes to an end this semester, and
although Ill miss being here, Im excited
to join the fock of Jayhawks spread out
all over the world, waiting to be found
by others who share the proud Jayhawk
identity.
I hope to someday be found in Paris,
speaking French at Caf de Flore and
wearing my Jayhawk threads. Or back
in Southern California, waking up at 8
in the morning to catch the Jayhawk
basketball game tipping off at11 a.m.
Central Standard Time.
No matter where I nest, Ill always
be a Jayhawk, and Ill forever be on the
lookout for my fellow birds of a feather.
Thank you for letting us here at
Jayplay share the last four months with
you. As you rush about fnishing up the
semester, take some time to appreciate
the brief time you have here on the Hill.
To breathe it in. And to dream of all the
places you might someday be found.
l Megan Hirt, editor
editors note
Editor Megan Hirt
Associate editor Sasha
Roe
Photo editor Jon Goering
Designers Drew Bergman,
Peter Soto, Kelly Stroda,
Becky Sullivan
Contact Carly Halvorson,
Matt Hirschfeld
Health Asher Fusco, Susan
Melgren, Realle Roth
Manual Heather Melanson,
Ariel Tilson
Notice Matt Bechtold, Nina
Libby, Sean Rosner
Play Brianne Pfannenstiel,
Derek Zarda
Contact us
jayplay08@gmail.com
Jayplay
The University Daily Kansan
111 Stauffer-Flint Hall
1435 Jayhawk Blvd.
Lawrence, KS 66045
(785) 864-4810
Contributors Mark Arehart,
Clayton Ashley, Darron Carswell,
Francesca Chambers, Matthew
Crooks, Miller Davis, Chance
Dibben, Chris Horn, Dani Hurst,
Mia Iverson, Amber Jackson,
Danny Nordstrom, Meghan
Nuckolls, Abby Olcese, Amanda
Sorell, Elise Stawarz
Creative consultant
Carol Holstead
jayplayers
venues
The Wilders/Rural
Grit All-Stars/Howard
Iceberg. Daveys Uptown,
8:30 p.m., 21+, $8, www.
wilderscounty.com.
Stop Day Eve Party. The
Granada, 9 p.m., 18+, $5.
Hawk Nights Holiday
Bash. Kansas Union,
Ballroom, 9 p.m., all ages,
FREE, www.suaevents.com.
Neon Dance Party. The
Bottleneck, 10 p.m., 18+, $5.
Magic Bullets. The Brick,
10 p.m., 21+, $5-$7.
The Ants/The Blessed
Broke. The Eighth Street Tap
Room, 10 p.m., 21+, $3.
Intelligent Dance Floor
Culture with Jerrett &
Dash. Fatsos, 10 p.m., 21+,
$2-$4.
Fresh Sounds from
the Underground CD
release party. The Jackpot,
10 p.m., 18+, $5.
The Bus Co. The Jazzhaus,
10 p.m., 21+, $3.
Making Movies/
Ermetica. The Record Bar,
10 p.m., 21+, $7.
Radio Moscow/Taddy
Porter. The Replay Lounge,
10 p.m., 21+, $3, www.myspace.
com/taddyportermusic.
The Doo-Dads. The
Record Bar, 6 p.m, all ages, $5.
Holiday Hoedown with
the Wilders/Midday
ramblers/Drakkar
Sauna. Liberty Hall, 7 p.m.,
all ages, $10.50.
Al Jarreau. The Midland
Theatre, 7 p.m, all ages,
$29.50-$59.50, www.aljarreau.
com.
Buddy Guy. Uptown
Theater, 7 p.m., all ages, $45-
$75, www.buddyguy.net.
Split Lip Rayfeld. The
Beaumont Club, 8 p.m., all
ages, $15, www.splitliprayfeld.
com.
Shwayze. The Granada, 8
p.m., all ages, $15.
DJ Nick Reddell. Abe &
Jakes Landing, 9 p.m, 18+.
Truckstop Honeymoon/
KC Playboys. The Brick, 10
p.m., 21+, $5-$7.
Manchild. The Jazzhaus, 10
p.m., 21+, $4.
Phat Fridays with DJ
Soap. Johnnys Tavern, 10
p.m., 21+, FREE.
Expassionates/
Alacartoona/Barclay
Martin. The Record Bar, 10
p.m., 21+, $10, www.myspace.
com/expassionates.
The Richard Dean
Invasion. The Jackpot, 6
p.m., all ages, $1.
The Faint/The Show
is the Rainbow/
Jametatone and the
Evolove Vortex/
Baiowolf. Liberty Hall,
7 p.m., all ages, $17-
$18.50, www.myspace.com/
theshowistherainbow.
Prometheus Unbound.
The Record Bar, 7 p.m., all
ages, FREE.
Los Tigres del Sur. The
Granada, 9 p.m., 18+, $5.
Webb Wilder/Reckless
Kelly. Knuckleheads, 9 p.m.,
21+, $15-$22, www.webbwilder.
com.
Late Night Breakfast.
Mrs. Es Dining Hall, 9 p.m., all
ages, FREE.
Hidden Pictures/Big
Surrenders/Andrew
Morgan. Czar Bar, 9:30 p.m.,
21+, $5-$7, www.myspace.com/
morganandrew.
St. Simone/Alice. The
Brick, 10 p.m., 21+, $5-$7.
True North. The Jazzhaus,
10 p.m., 21+, $4.
Ricos Holiday Dance
Party. The Record Bar, 10
p.m., 21+, $5.
The Dirty Disco. Fatsos, 9
p.m., 21+, $2.
Billy the Squirrel/
Deadman Flats/That
Damn Sasquatch/Tiny
Tuxedo. The Granada, 9
p.m., 18+, $4.
Miss Major And Her
Minor Mood Swings.
Knuckleheads, 10 p.m., 21+,
$4.
KRISTEENYOUNG/
Mercury Mad. The Record
Bar, 10 p.m., 18+, $7.
Golden Animals. The
Replay Lounge, 11 p.m., 21+,
$2.
Rock Band Mondays
with Metal Mark. The
Riot Room, 8 p.m., 21+, FREE.
Neil Diamond. Sprint
Center, 8 p.m., all ages, $55-
$120, www.sprintcenter.com.
Dollar Bowling. Royal
Crest Bowling Lanes, 9 p.m.,
all ages, $1.
2-for-1 drinks & DEEP
SOUL with Zach
Phillips. The Czar Bar, 10
p.m., 21+, FREE .
Justin Lake Whedons
Listening Party. Record
Bar, 10 p.m., 21+, FREE.
The Brick
1727 McGee St.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 421-1634
Daveys Uptown
3402 Main St.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 753-1909
Fatsos
1016 Massachusetts St.
(785) 865-4055
Green Room Salon
924 1/2 Massachusetts St.
(785) 749-1460
Knuckleheads
2719 Rochester St.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 483-1456
The Midland Theatre
1228 Main St.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 471-8600
The Peanut
5000 Main St.
Kansas CIty, Mo.
(816) 749-1460
Record Bar
1020 Westport Rd.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 753-9499
Uptown Theater
3700 Broadway St.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 753-8665
4
December 11, 2008
NOTICE
The Day The Earth Stood Still is a re-
imagining of the original 1951 sci-f classic,
in which advanced alien lifeforms come to
Earth to intervene in the growing militarism
of mankind during the Cold War. To retell
this story in the present, a new aspect was
needed to keep the flm relevant for a new
audience. Director Scott Derrickson ac-
complished this by replacing mans inhuman-
ity toward man with mans destructiveness
toward our planet as the catalyst that has
brought Klaatu (Reeves) and Gort, a robot
capable of destroying all mankind, to Earth.
The Day The Earth Stood Still opens in the-
aters tomorrow. Jayplay had the opportunity
to participate in a conference call with the
movies stars, Keanu Reeves and Jennifer
Connelly.
Q: Keanu, youve done a lot of
action/sci-f movies. What is it
about these types of movies that
keeps you coming back for more?
Reeves: Well, I love the genre. I grew
up reading science fction and watching
science fction flms. I think its a wonderful
genre in the sense that its a bit of a Trojan
horse. Bit of drama, adventureits also a
great way to take a look at ourselves. Its
a genre that beautifully talks about our
hopes, our fears and our anxieties, utilizing
allegory and metaphor in such a fantastic
way.
Q: Jennifer, throughout your
career, you have played roles that
have an element of self-suffciency
and independence. What draws
you to these strong female char-
acters?
Connelly: I have played a few women
who are really a mess, as well. I also found
the character I played in a flm called House
of Sand and Fog to be interesting. She was
all sorts of bent-out-of-shape, that woman.
I think those characters are interesting,
as well. Personally, its just as fun to play,
whether theyre well put-together humans
or falling apart. Im interested in human
nature, all different kinds of people.
Q: Had you seen the original
1951 version of this flm prior to
reading the script?
Connelly: I hadnt seen it prior to read-
ing the script. Soon after reading the script,
I watched it, and subsequently watched it
many times. Im a big fan of it. I think its
a really great flm. I think Im not alone in
feeling that. I think everyone involved in
making the flm really likes the original.
Reeves: I saw the flm actually when I
was probably like nine or 10. When I was a
kid, I saw it on a black-and-white television.
How about that? And, I kind of remem-
bered the spaceship, Gort, the alien coming
to Earth, and the score. The score of the
flm was very striking. It really had this kind
of anxiety, this impending doom. And then
when I saw the flm later in life, some of its
political context, some of its humor and
irony, became much more apparent to me.
I saw the flm before I started production,
and if you havent seen it, I highly recom-
mend it. What we tried to do with this flm,
Scott Derrickson, the director, was really
kind of taking what was great about the
frst flm, the original, and then updating it
to our time.
Q: What was the most diffcult
aspect about this movie?
Connelly: I think the things that are al-
ways diffcult for mejust having expecta-
tions and feeling the pressure of wanting to
serve the story well and fulfll my obliga-
tions as well as I possibly can. I feel that
on everything that I do. Specifc challenges
to this flm? It was kind of nice, actually.
There were no big personality clashes. I
liked everyone, had respect for everyone I
was working with. So, it was kind of weirdly
pleasant and without controversy. The
worst thing I had to deal with was a green
screen, where youre trying to pretend
youre having this really frightening experi-
ence, but youre just looking at a green
curtain with some pink tape on it. That was
really the worst there was to deal with.
Reeves: I think in terms of the chal-
lenges of this flm probably would go
mostly to the director, Scott Derrickson.
He had decided to make a remake of an
American classic. He, as a person and as a
director, was very practical, very open, very
collaborative. So, he kind of set the tone for
everyone in terms of being able to do their
best and to have a positive experience. He
really showed up and created a great place
for all of us to do the best that we can. It
doesnt always go like that, so it was kind of
cool that it did.
Q: Do any of you believe there
are aliens or any other lifeform
out there after doing this flm?
Connelly: It didnt really affect my
thoughts on it. But, looking at the scale of
the universe, it makes sense to me that
there is probably something out there. I
think its become common thinking, and
even my son was saying that astrobiology is
something theyre now studying in school,
and theyre looking at Jupiters moons and
what may be under the ice.
Q: What do you think will at-
tract audiences to see this flm, as
opposed to other similar flms or
other flms out at this time?
Reeves: Where do I begin? Personally,
Ive seen the flm, and to me, its come to
turn out how I hoped. It hopes to be enjoy-
able on a lot of different levels. I think its
a flm you can take your kids to. Its a flm
that has something to think about. There
are some great visuals, but its also got
some real, at the heart of it, personal rela-
tionships. Jennifer Connelly is playing a sci-
entist and also a mother, a stepmother, to a
young boy, and they have their relationship.
Shes lost a husband, hes lost his father. You
kind of see this relationship. So, the flm
is trying to work on a bunch of different
levels. Its kind of got big ideas, but its also
got smaller kind of human stories to it.
Connelly: I dont know of any other
movies out there that are really like it, to
tell you the truth. I think it brings more of
the character of the original flm, which was
made in 1951. I think there is something
special about it in the way that it is a big,
exciting spectacle of a movie. But also, its
really responsible. I think its also really
resonant with things that are going on in
the world today that people are talking
about and are concerned about and maybe
anxious about. I think its a really nice bal-
ance, a really nice combination of elements.
Q: Keanu, you refer to this flm
as a re-imagining, rather than a
remake. What drew you to this
flm?
Reeves: In general, with any flm, you
have to ask why. And with a remake, espe-
cially a remake of a classic, that question
might be in bolder letters. Scott Derrick-
son, the director, had a real line, and I think
the story is a very contemporary story. Its
about our relationship to each other. Its
our relationship to the planet. And its a
flm that has a real positive message about
the human character, that in crisis, at a
crossroads, we have the ability to change,
and that the best of us can come out. That
was kind of answering why to make this
remake. I think the flm itself, The Day The
Earth Stood Still, does lend itself to that
opportunity because of its timeliness, and
because of how that could be translated to
present day.
Connelly: I think it depends on the flm.
I think this is a flm that the people who
know it tend to really love. There are also a
lot of people who have never seen the flm,
which is different from a flm like Wizard
of Oz. But I think it was just a really great
story, and I think it was very much a movie
of its time. I think that no one was trying to
fx that version. Everyone who worked on
the movie loves the original version of it.
We fnd ourselves in a different place. Film-
making has come a long way in 57 years.
It seemed like there was an opportunity
to re-imagine it in a way that would have
merit.
Q: What do you hope audiences
will take away from the flm?
Reeves: Well, we hope that people, obvi-
ously, enjoy the flm. It hopes to entertain,
but also to leave you with something to
think about, and I think its a flm that has
a real positive message and in these times
that were facing so many hardships and
crisis, that there is a kind of hope.
Connelly: I felt that it was really uplifting
as a flm. It gives this truthful view of what
were doing and how were living and how
were treating each other and whats going
on with the planet. But I think at the end of
the day, at the end of the flm, I felt it was
empowering in a way. I liked the way I felt
when I fnished watching the flm.
Matt Bechtold
with Keanu Reeves and
Jennifer Connelly
Contributed photo
Keanu Reeves and Jennifer Connelly star in the re-imagining of the 1951 movie, The Day The Earth Stood Still.
5
December 11, 2008
NOTICE
WESCOE WIT
Girl: What should I get him for
Christmas?
Guy: (pause) How about The Big Book of
Lesbian Horse Stories?
Girl: I was at the rec last week, and
there was an old guy lying on a mat. I
was like, Bumblebee tuna, your balls are
showing.
Guy 1: Everyone else thought she was
unattractive, but I adored her.
Guy 2: Was it the mole?
Guy 1: She never wore a bra.
Guy 1: We dont know how to tell him
he cant come to the party.
Guy 2: You could take off your belt and
beat him with it.
Girl 1: This is how you do girl talk: You
have to learn to lie and exaggerate.
Guy: I think I can do that.
Girl 2: Now you can start by giving us
each a compliment.
Girl: It smells really good in here.
Guy: Thats just my natural scent.
Girl: You normally smell like brownies?
Guy: Yeah. In high school, they called
me Duncan Hines.
Guy: (on phone) Its almost fnals week.
(pause) I know! Almost peanut-butter-
jelly time!
Girl 1: Does Chipotle deliver?
Girl 2: If Chipotle delivered, Id have it
on speed-dial and Id weigh 400 pounds.
Guy: (on phone) Youre tired? I worked
the night shift, ate 5 pounds of Taco Bell
and went home to a horny girlfriend.
Dont pull the Im tired excuse with me.
Girl: I just went up to my TA and said,
Ill be honest. I went out and drank
when I shouldnt have, and I didnt get it
done.
Guy: How did that work out?
Girl: He gave me an F.
Girl 1: What internship are you apply-
ing for?
Girl 2: That one to be on Rock of Love
Charm School.
Girl 1: How do you spell queef ?
Girl 2: With a k, I think.
Girl 3: You know, you could get around
that entirely and just call it vaginal
fatulence.
Guy: Im so glad our legal system allows
the phrase dry humping in a court of
law.
Guy 1: (getting ready to eat sushi) Im
pretty sure Ill hate this, but Ill give it the
college try.
Guy 2: Thats what you said about
Greys Anatomy. Now you cant get
enough.
Guy 1: Please dont mention that in
public.
Girl 1: Bone Thugs-N-Harmony have
so many great songs. Like that one about
paying rent.
Girl 2: Um, I dont think I know that
one.
Girl 1: If you dont know that song,
youve never been to a skating rink be-
fore. And you should be shot in the face.
Girl: Do you think hes conservative?
Guy: Well, he wears cowboy boots. He
looks like he voted for Bush twice.
Girl: (on phone) You went all the way to
Florida to shop at Wal-Mart?
Guy: I was drunk at Es. Twice.
Guy: Wow! Those are some great
boots. You look like you could go cow
tipping and then go be in a fashion show.
Girl: Thanks. I just use them as my bed
me boots.
Guy: What did you put in this soup?
Girl: The secret ingredient is organic
love-age.
Guy: (pauses mid-bite)
Guy 1: Remember that time we ate
lasagna out of wine glasses?
Guy 2: Yeah.
Guy 1: I havent eaten off a plate since.
Girl 1: I had a dream the other night
that you and I were fghting over Haley
Joel Osment.
Girl 2: I hope our hate for each other
never becomes that pathetic.
Guy: Do you think Hoboken is where
they developed the hobo-chicken hybrid?
Guy 1: I love that there are actually gas
stations called Kum and Go.
Guy 2: In my hometown, we have gas
stations called Pump and Munch.
Sean Rosner
Steak
Night
Thursday night
3050 Iowa 785-843-7000
The best steak in Lawrence
8 oz. Renegade Sirloin w/ KUID
$
10
steak, salad and side
.29
TOMORROWS NEWS:
subtle butt
If your Thanksgiving break involved
suffering through a relatives post-turkey
silent-but-deadlies, dont worry: You have
help for the next holiday. Enter Subtle
Butt, a disposable patch that neutralizes
the smell of passed gas.
Subtle Butt adhesive patches are
made up of one layer of antimicrobial
fabric and one layer of activated carbon.
When stuck on the inside of underwear,
Subtle Butt patches help eliminate the
odor of farts.
The Subtle Butt fabric was originally
designed for hunters, so that animals
wouldnt be able to smell them. Califor-
nia inventor Kim Leone Olenicoff came
up with the idea to turn the fabric into
an adhesive patch during a plane ride
back from Mexico, before which she says
she and her cousin ate a few too many
tacos.
Amber Zbierski of the company Gar-
ment Guard, which produces Subtle Butt,
says the company introduced the prod-
uct in December 2007. Zbierski says
Subtle Butt sales have grown steadily
since then, and have picked up during the
holiday season.
Its a great stocking stuffer, Zbierski
says. Its a guaranteed laugh for the per-
son who has everything.
Zbierski says one of the companys
biggest diffculties in selling the product
is convincing people that its real.
A lot of people think were kidding,
Zbierski says. It actually does work if
you give it a try.
A pack of fve Subtle Butt patches
costs $9.95. Visit www.garmentguard.com
for more information.
Sean Rosner
Contributed photos
A promotional video from Garment Guards Web
site details the miracle that is Subtle Butt patches.
6
December 11, 2008
Wet Hot American Summer or Anchorman,
which is really just kind of a cartoon. I
would like to do more dramatic roles.
I have in the past. I tend to do more
dramatic stuff in theater. But I also dont
have the pressing need to say, Im doing
drama next. I really want to shake things
up. I want to be able to enjoy the experi-
ence, and I really have enjoyed working
on the comedies.
Q: In Role Models, you worked
with 12-year-old Bobbe J.
Thompson. Did working with a
child actor change the flmmak-
ing process?
A: It was totally different in ways that
I had never experienced. Kids have to
work shorter days because they are un-
derage. We also had him saying some re-
ally flthy stuff. It was really funny to write
it and think, Oh, its going to be so funny
that a kid is going to say this. Then when
we were shooting, we realized, Oh my
God, a kid is going to say this. It had to
be approved by his mom, and then Child
Protective Services also had to approve it.
It had to go through a whole procedure
that it normally never has to. And we
would leave sections open to improvise
stuff, and a lot of improvisation gets really
flthy. We couldnt do any of that with
him. You always have to be aware of what
you can and cant say. It was different, but
nothing that was unmanageable.
Q: Do you think you are a role
model?
A: Oh man, I dont know. I just hope
to be and try to be one for my own kid.
Thats all I can hope to do. I try to do that
by showing him that you can enjoy your
life and be nice to people.
Q: With Role Models, you
stepped into a lead role. Do you
want to continue doing lead roles
in the future?
A: I never think in terms of lead parts
or supporting parts. It didnt feel any
different. The only thing I worry about is
the actual characterwhat the character
is going through, if its fun and challenging
to play, and how it fts into the story. Id
rather have one or two scenes in some-
thing I think is really cool than a lead role
in something that sucks.
Q: Youve been in some really
big movies. Do you fnd it more
diffcult to go about your daily
life now that youre more in the
spotlight?
A: Its not hard. I live my life like I
always have. I think I get more looks than
I used to, but Im not the type of guy who
is going to have paparazzi following me
around. I feel surprised that anyone even
knows who I am.
Q: Youve had a pretty busy
month, releasing Role Models and
hosting Saturday Night Live a few
weeks ago. What do you do to
relax?
A: Well, one of the great things about
the holidays is that you are forced to not
work. But its important to force myself
to not do anythingjust to spend time
with my family and chill out. I play cards
every week with the same group of guys,
and the routine of that is really great. You
need that kind of male camaraderiejust
total dick-around time where you are just
making jokes at everybodys expense and
laughing and having some beers. I really
treasure those nights.
Q: Have you achieved your
goals as an actor, or do you have
further aspirations?
A: I havent fulflled my goals, and they
are always evolving. When I feel like I do,
Im sure I wont do it anymore. And maybe
that will happen. But I really feel lucky that
I love what I do. I know the majority of
the people in the world cant say that. I
feel pretty fortunate, and I hope to sustain
a lifenot just a careerin which Im do-
ing things that I like and that have meaning
to me.
Sean Rosner
Contributed photo
In Role Models, Rudds character is forced to
become a mentor to troubled children as part of a
community service sentence.
Since attending the University of Kansas
in the late 80s, actor Paul Rudd has gone
on to have a successful career in Hollywood,
with roles in the television series Friends, the
cult classic Wet Hot American Summer, and
blockbusters like Clueless, Anchorman and
Knocked Up.
Rudd grew up in Overland Park, where he
graduated from Shawnee Mission West High
School in 1987. He studied theater at the
University, and later attended the American
Academy of Dramatic Arts in Los Angeles.
Rudd took some time off from promot-
ing his latest flm, Role Models, to chat with
the magazine of his alma mater.
Q: You attended the University
of Kansas for two years. What
were you like in college?
A: I had really long hair. I was a big INXS
fan when I was in high school, and I was like,
Oh man, long hair is so sweet. It was ter-
rible, looking back now, but it was kind of
the look of the time. And then I had a jean
jacket with a Patrick Nagel painting on the
back. It was just full-on cheeseball mode.
Im pretty sure the jacket was acid-washed.
I defnitely had my own look. It wasnt good,
but it was my own.
Q: You used to DJ at bar mitz-
vahs before you got into acting.
Did you have any other odd jobs
before breaking into the business?
A: Before I moved to California to go
to school, I was trying to save up money to
move out there, so I got a job glazing ham.
It was really crappy. Its a serious process.
Its way more intense than I thought it
would be. There were big torches that came
down from the ceiling, and I had to put on
protective gear and sprinkle sugar on top
of the ham. It looked like I was working in a
laboratory. And then I reeked of ham every
day.
Q: Most of the movies youve
done have been comedies. Do you
ever want to do dramatic roles?
A: I tend not to think in terms of com-
edy and drama. I think the most effective
dramas have elements of comedy. And a
really good comedy should have drama to
it as well, unless youre doing something like
with Paul Rudd
NOTICE
7
December 11, 2008
CONTACT
By Matt Hirschfeld
mhirschfeld@kansan.com
Anna Kuklenko was hit with one
of the worst pickup linesever.
She and a friend attended a con-
cert in Lawrence, and caught wind of
what bar the band was going to be at
after the show. At the bar, the Over-
land Park senior and her friend start-
ing chatting with a few of the band
members, who proceeded to buy
them drinks. Kuklenko and her friend
sensed it was their time to leave, and
then the pickup line stopped them
cold.
By the end of the night, one of
them, in a dead serious tone, was
like, Man, I could seriously take you
back to my hotel room and cut a
hole open in your head and fuck your
brains out, she says.
The two friends spent the rest of
the night fguring out how they could
get away from the guy, as he kept
pleading with them to come to his
hotel room. Kuklenko and her friend
eventually managed to dart out of
the bar when the band member was
distracted.
Pickup lines should never make
anybody feel uncomfortable, says Jay
Schultz, expert in the Neil Strauss
Stylelife Academy, an online pro-
gram to which men can sign up to
learn skills for attracting and meeting
women. If you feel confdent in using
a goofy or funny pickup line, go for
it, Schultz says. Its going to start the
conversation and make everyone feel
comfortable.
Schultz says that if you start to
talk to a woman and she begins to re-
veal her personality, then that should
become more important than the ini-
tial reason you decided to approach
the woman.
If youre only after a woman for
what you saw when you frst looked
over at her, and youre not out to fnd
out more about her, shell use her
womanly intuition that every woman
has and know thats your agenda and
its not going to work out for you,
Schultz says.
Jessica Stanleys intuition was a
tad off when her girl friends left her
at a bar because of a mix-up. The
Olathe senior ended up sitting out-
side the bar and crying. A random guy
came up behind her to see if she was
okay, she says, and he listened to her
rant about her friends, made casual
conversation and offered her a ride
home. Stanley already had a different
ride lined up, but she did get the guys
number.
He had seemed genuinely inter-
ested in just wanting to talk with her
and not overtly trying to pick her up,
Stanley says, which made her less hes-
itant about getting his number. Amus-
ing pickup lines do initiate interest
for her, but only if the guy presents
himself in a respectable manner.
If a guy comes at me completely
hammered, and clearly wanting more
than to just get to know me, then
its like, Gross, get off me, and I act
like Cher off Clueless: Ugh, as if! she
says.
Men shouldnt rely on parties or
bars to meet women, says Dusty
White, author of The Easiest Way to
Meet and Pick Up GirlsEVER!!.
Girls are not from some other
planet, no matter what that crazy
psychologist who wrote that crappy
book says, White says.
When approaching girls in places
such as a grocery store, laundromat,
library or at a bus stop, White says
it appears more natural and circum-
stantial and takes a lot of pressure off
the man. The less pressure, he says,
the easier it is to say hello.
Casey Briner says its better when
guys approach her in more casual at-
mospheres, such as when shes shop-
ping, because both parties judgment
is less impaired and they have more
control of the situation, as opposed
to in a bar.
Pickup lines sometimes spark in-
terest for the Flower Mound, Texas,
freshman, but only if they arent too
sexual. Instead of doing a sexual
one-liner like, The word of the day
is legs. Lets go home a spread the
word. That wasnt a good one. But
just being goofy and showing youre
not afraid to laugh and have a good
time works best, she says.
How you doin?
Approaching women can be as simple as using
a pickup line, but the real challenge is making
a connection beyond a cheesy one-liner
Testing the pickup line waters
Dusty White, author of The Easiest Way to Meet and
Pick Up GirlsEVER!! says pickup lines are annoying
phrases that make a guy look uncreative and obnoxious
when trying to meet women.
I defed Whites advice and ventured to a couple
Lawrence bars to record my own success rate with
some of the more tame (although still dirty) pickup lines.
Here are my favorites, and the reactions they got from
women.
Photo illustration by Julianne Kueffer
While dropping a pickup line is a great way to get a girls attention,
youd probably have better luck with a more natural, casual approach.
Pickup line: Hey, I
just realized this, but
you look a lot like my
next girlfriend.
Reaction: Gave me a
nasty look and turned
her back.
Pickup line: Hello,
Im a thief, and Im here
to steal your heart.
Reaction: Let out a
half-sigh/half-laugh, but
told me she already had
a boyfriend.
Pickup line: You
look so sweet youre
giving me a toothache.
Reaction: Smirked
and walked away.
Pickup line: If I
could rearrange the
alphabet, I would put U
and I together.
Reaction: Laughed
hysterically and contin-
ued to talk to me until
I had to divulge the real
reason I dropped the
one-liner.
Pickup line: Did
you wash your clothes
in Windex? Because I
can see myself in your
pants.
Reaction: Took a mo-
ment to process what I
had said, then scoffed
and stormed off.
Go to www.pickuphelp.
com for more.
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8
December 11, 2008
CONTACT
with Matt Hirschfeld and
Francesca Chambers
and
with whom, and you can decide from there
whether you want to pursue it.
Without delving into many fannel-laden
stereotypes about lesbians, thats all I have for
you.
Fran: Unfortunately, being a straight
woman, the best advice I can give you is to
firt with the girls you are interested in and
see what comes of it, regardless of whether
you think they are lesbians. My lesbian friend
told me that many lesbians are still not out
yet. So, like Matt said, judging by looks alone is
not really a good criterion.
The rules for fnding lesbians are basically
the same as those for seeking out datable
men. My friend told me she could usually tell
if the girl she liked was into her too by how
she responded to her firting. You should get
a vibe that the persons interested, or notice
that every day she moves to a seat farther and
farther across the classroom from you once
she realizes you want to get in her pants.
And apparently a lot of the hot lesbians go
to the bars, and I would imagine they would
be reasonably easy to pick out. Drunk girls
making out would defnitely catch my eye!
Matt: I took a gander at the Universitys
Consenting Relationships Policy, and it was
enlightening to discover that relationships be-
tween GTAs and students are not forbidden,
but just looked down upon by the University.
The work that would go into even asking
for a date, though, seems like more effort than
just waiting until the semester is over. Faculty
and students are frst advised to decline such
invitations. If the two decide to enter into
that kind of relationship, the GTA must re-
move himself from an evaluative position.
This means he or she has a third party
grade all your assignments, presentations,
papers and tests. This would be a headache
for your GTA. Just wait until your semester is
over and he no longer has an evaluative role
in your life. Itll save you both from a lot of
scrutiny that could put unnecessary strain on
the relationship.
Fran: Im not a major supporter of one-
night stands or sex outside of committed re-
lationships in general, but if I had to make a
list of the 10 deviant sexual acts KU students
should perform before graduating, screwing a
professor or GTA would be on that list, right
after a clandestine meeting in the stacks of
Watson Library.
Beyond sex, you should know what you
are getting yourself into, though. My graduate
student friends have typically told me that, at
this point in their lives, they are looking for
relationships, not hook-ups. These guys are
in their post-frat days, and theyre looking to
settle down.
I say go for it. The worst that could happen
is the person turns you down, and that risk
seems worth it to me.
Matt: All threesome stories Ive come
across have involved heavy amounts of alco-
hol, so Ill assume thatll be the case here if
you decide to go for it. A lot of outcomes
mostly negativealso could result from go-
ing for it.
One of my friends threesome stories in-
volved him getting left out of the act and the
other two doing the nasty instead. This could
be embarrassing if you made a big deal about
the threesome and were left out in the end.
Gay rumors could also spark from the
act. Even if its a two-girls-one-guy situation,
stories about it will be swapped through
dozens of friends and acquaintances, and all
of a sudden, Erin becomes Aaron, and youll
need some damage control to squash those
rumors.
Numerous other consequences could
also result, but if you think you can handle
it, do it. Who knows, Doublemint Gum could
have been right all along: Double your plea-
sure, double your fun.
Fran: Threesomes are best left as hot
sex scenes in movies or in your mind.
Two is a party; three is a crowd. Eventu-
ally, one of the women is going to be riding or
blowing you, leaving the other with nothing to
do. I cant imagine that girl No. 2 is going to pa-
tiently wait her turn while you do her friend.
And if this is a threesome with your girl-
friend and her friend, thats even worse. Better
make sure your girlfriend isnt the one who
gets kicked out! Even if you play the situation
like the ladies man Im sure you are, from that
point on, your girlfriend will always be afraid
youre cheating on her with her friendor
anyone else, for that matter, as you will have
proven that monogamy within the relation-
ship is a rule you dont mind breaking.
Im so in love with my GTA and I
dont know what to do.
Joan, freshman
I just got an offer for a threesome.
To take it or not to take it?
Trevor, sophomore
Where are all the hot lesbians on this campus? Cindy, junior
Matt: My frst piece of advice is to try
not to call it like you see it. Lesbians are more
diffcult to determine based on mannerisms
or looks as compared to their counterparts,
gay men.
I dont know many lesbians personally, but
I know of many throughout Lawrence. KUs
Queers and Allies has some lesbian members,
and theyre all nice and could help you meet
other lesbians.
Gay guys are usually a good source to fnd
out about gay people in the community. Theyll
give you the lowdown on who has done what
CONTACT
9
December 11, 2008
By Carly Halvorson
chalvorson@kansan.com
Saying I love you for the frst time is
a scene so often played out in movies that
it makes it hard for the general public to
compete. Its a big step in any relationship,
and the pressure those three little words
can bring is daunting.
Before you think about saying I love
you, certain things must be true about
your relationship. Laurie Puhn, relationship
coach and author of Instant Persuasion: How
to Change Your Words to Change Your Life, says
you should be in an exclusive relationship
that has somehow been made public. In
other words, youre together and not hiding
it. Heres a guide to help you know if youre
really ready to make the L-word leap.
Do I say it first?
There are a lot of stereotypes about
who should be the frst to say I love you.
Traditionally, many people see the man as
the one responsible for saying it frst. How-
ever, others think the more outgoing per-
son in the relationship should be frst. Scott
Bowman, Iola senior, considered himself to
be that person in his relationship with Eliza-
beth Kretzmeier, Iola junior. The two were
best friends during high school but hadnt
dated each other. Right before Bowman was
about to leave for college, he realized his
feelings for Kretzmeier involved more than
just friendship.
I realized I couldnt imagine my life
without her in it, Bowman says. He knew
Kretzmeier felt the same way about him, so
Bowman told her he loved her. Whoever is
ready to say it should just say it, he says. I
happened to be the more open one and she
was the more shy one. Kretzmeier agrees,
saying she considers herself to be more old-
fashioned, and so she waited for the guy to
make the frst move.
Puhn says the stereotypes regarding who
should say it frst are all wrong. According to
Puhn, a person who is ready to say I love
you is the more expressive one in the re-
lationship and has prepared themselves for
any response they may get, whether it be
an elated I love you, too, or an awkward
silence.
When am I supposed
to say it?
Perhaps the most important issue con-
cerning those three little words is knowing
when its time to say them. Every relation-
ship is different, so how long one couple has
been together before saying I love you
should have no bearing on when you say it.
The general rule of thumb is to wait at
least one month before professing your love
for your better half. Dating and relation-
ship coach Donna Barnes says waiting one
month can allow you to get to know that
person better. When you say I love you for
the frst time, its important that you genu-
inely care about that persons well-being and
happiness. Typically, its hard to know them
well enough in less than a month to have
such a deep emotional investment. Suggest-
ing people should wait longer, Matt Titus,
relationship coach and co-author of Why
Hasnt He Called?, says the best time frame
for saying I love you is within six to nine
months of dating so that true selves can be
revealed.
An exception to this rule is if you have
already known the person before you be-
gan dating him or her. This was the situation
for Sara Kiszka, Leavenworth junior. Before
they were an offcial couple, Kiszka and her
boyfriend were friends. She says they had
been talking about saying I love you for
a while, but she was afraid to say it. When
her boyfriend told her one month into their
romantic relationship that he loved her, she
knew it was the right time.
I just had a feeling, Kiszka says. When
he looked at me or touched me, Id get but-
terfies. Even just thinking about it now, Im
smiling. Kiszka recommends that anyone
considering saying I love you makes sure
Three little words, one big step
How to tell if youre ready to say I love you
When not to say I love you
Because of the hefty weight these three little words carry, its important to pick
the appropriate time, place and method to say them for the frst time. The experts
may not agree on the right time, but they do know the wrong times.
During or after a fght. Its not a patch, Puhn says. Its not like a bouquet
of fowers, and its not a way to recover. Its a way to make something great even
better. Plus, saying I love you during or immediately after a fght can come off as
a ploy instead of a true expression of feelings. Your partner may interpret that as
being manipulative or trying to persuade him or her to agree with you.
While drunk. Slurring your way through I love you in a crowded bar doesnt
do the words justice. Even more dangerous, it could make you say something you
dont feel. Unless youve had these feelings for a period of timewhile sober
avoid saying the L word after a couple cocktails. Alcohol can make you feel more
empowered and less panicked, Donna Barnes says. However, it can be a false
sense of security.
Some creative ways to say it
Youll want to tell your signifcant other I love you in person the frst time you say it,
but after that, try conveying your feelings in little memorable ways, just so the sentiment
never becomes routine. Get creative and keep the spark alive. And, just because Jayplay
loves you so much, here are our ideas for heartwarming ways you can say I love you.
continued on page 10
10
December 11, 2008
CONTACT
the feelings behind the phrase are abso-
lutely certain before saying it. It has to be
something you cant regret, she says.
They didnt say it back
At frst, Erin Garity, Lansing senior, pre-
tended not to hear her boyfriend when he
would say I love you under his breath.
Even though Garity admits she could hear
him perfectly fne, she simply responded
with, What? Garity says she needed time
to digest the news and to gauge her own
feelings. Two weeks later, Garity went to
her boyfriends apartment and eventually
said the words. I realized that saying I love
you is the best way to mean it, Garity
says.
Saying I love you and not hearing it
back is like that awful dream when youre
naked in front of the whole school: youre
vulnerable, exposed, and the embarrass-
ment makes you want to crawl in bed with
a bucket of ice cream. Although it seems
impossible, you can recover gracefully from
saying I love you before your partner is
ready to hear it. Acknowledging the situa-
tion may not only ease the awkward ten-
sion, but it may also save the relationship.
The worst thing you could do is have
that silence, Titus says. The best thing to
do is say, I said that because I felt like I
was ready to say it. Whatever you feel for
me or want to say about how you feel is
totally cool. Even though its an emotion-
ally vulnerable situation, you have to be
fearless.
Im still not sure
Okay, so there may not be a black and
white guideline for when to drop the L
bomb on your partner, but the experts do
agree on one thing: Trust your instincts.
Its up to your own personality and what
youre comfortable with in terms of be-
ing vulnerable and putting yourself on the
line, Puhn says.
Ultimately, its up to you to make the
fnal call depending on the unique circum-
stances of your relationshipbut there is
some help out there. Titus is launching a
Web site that offers personalized relation-
ship advice. Students can submit their rela-
tionship questions at www.whyhasnthe.com,
and will receive a video response within
24 hours. You can also sign up to receive e-
mail newsletters from Puhn, which include
relationship advice and quizzes.
?
five questions
Sweet P Vaughn
designer from season 4
of Project Runway
Spenser Fitzpatrick
Leavenworth junior
By Matt Hirschfeld
What has been
your most
embarrassing
moment?
What are your
holiday plans?
Whats your
favorite alcoholic
drink?
How many traffc
or speeding
tickets have you
received?
Do you have a
favorite YouTube
video?
It would probably be one
of the many times I fell
on my face. One time
that comes to mind was
when I actually chal-
lenged a boyfriend to a
race. I was like, I can run
faster than you. We took
off, and I tripped and fell
right on my face. Im su-
per clumsy and Ive done
that a number of times.
Im staying here in L.A.
with my familymy
husband, my mom, my
dad, my dads sister. My
husband is Jewish, so we
will go do the Jewish
thing after that. Basically
we just do Christmas
there, too.
I dont drink. But when I
did, I would probably say
a Bloody Mary. It was like
a meal and a drink all at
once.
I used to get a ton.
Now Im a good driver.
But I used to drive as a
messenger for a living,
so I actually had so many
tickets that they wanted
to suspend my license.
I had to talk to a judge
and they let me go. My
husband would still say
Im a shitty driver, though.
I do like that hamster
one where it goes, Dun
dun duuun, and he just
turns around and looks
at you. But I have a better
one with this crazy dog
and this lady, and the
dog attacks everyones
crotch. Its the best.
When I was a senior in
high school, we were
doing a play for the
elementary school and
I was Aladdin. I wasnt
wearing underwear
under my outft, and
during the play my pants
ripped down the seam.
Im just going to my
grandparents house in
Atchison. Its a really
nasty town. Its going to
be really boring.
Defnitely anything with
vodka, but particularly
Skyy Citrus Vodka
mixed with pink
lemonade. Or any of
those fruity drinks.
I love my fruity girl
drinks.
Zero. I should have
gotten one, but the
cop accused my friend
of being my prostitute.
Her makeup was
pretty slutty and pretty
disgusting. My friend
was offended, so the
cop let me off.
Im a big fan of the
video of Dolly Parton
singing 9 to 5 at Disney
World. It has the Disney
princesses dancing on
tables like strippers.
continued from page 9
13
December 11, 2008
12 December 11, 2008
FEATURE
By Heather Melanson
hmelanson@kansan.com
Cohabitation was virtually unheard of before the sexual
revolution during the 1960s. Today its a completely differ-
ent story. According to a 2008 study done as part of The
National Marriage Project at Rutgers Universtiy, the number
of couples living together before marriage has skyrocketed
1,000 percent since 1970, accounting for almost 8 percent
of couples in the United States. Even though cohabitation
is a growing trend, the same study shows that couples who
live together, with the exception of those who were en-
gaged or committed to one another before living together,
have a higher probability of divorcing up if they marry.
The Rutgers study shows that married couples are
happy, have more money, are healthy and tend to live lon-
ger, and these characteristics arent as prominent when a
couple who is unmarried lives together.Yet this study also
reports that 43 percent of people between the ages of 20
and 29 said they would marry their partner only if he or
she agreed to live together before they were married to
see if they were truly compatible.
So, why is cohabitation becoming increasingly popular,
even with evidence showing it may not be benefcial to the
relationship? Here, couples share insight into what makes
living together work, and sometimes not work.
High school sweethearts
Shawnee senior, Candis Beattie, 22, and Jared Pannell,
22, have been dating for six and a half years and moved
into their two-bedroom apartment in August.Their place is
immaculately clean, and two cats are sprawled on the car-
pet. The couple, sitting side-by-side on an L-shaped couch,
explains that living together is like being married and that
they have the same respect for each other as a married
couple would.
Although Beattie and Pannell arent engaged, they do
plan on marrying in the future. Pannell says he doesnt
think couples need to have the goal of marriage in mind in
order to live together. Both Beatties and Pannells parents
are divorced, and living together isnt to make sure they
Moving in
Photo illustration by Jessica Sain-Baird
Oh, the joys of living with your lover. Sure, it can be convenient and
cheap, but such a big adjustment shouldnt be taken lightly.
Couples reveal what
makes living together
work and not work
wont divorce, Beattie says, but rather to feel
things out.
Beatties parents had no problem with her
moving in with Pannell. Pannells dad was fne
with the couple moving in together, but his
mom didnt approve, he says. His mom want-
ed the two to wait to move in after they were
married, because of her Christian beliefs. But
Pannell says he didnt need to ask for permis-
sion to move in with Beattie, because he has
no fnancial ties to his family.
Early in their relationship the couple had
communication issues, but now they work
out their issues in a respectful manner, Pan-
nell says. In fact, before they moved in togeth-
er, Beattie and Pannell made sure they even
discussed what would happen if they broke
up while living together.The two agreed that,
if they split, they would fnish the lease, live in
the two separate bedrooms and remain civil,
Beattie says. Pannell says they felt like they
were responsible and communicated well
enough to move in together, and they would
have postponed living together had they felt
otherwise.
Pannell says its important for couples to
pick their battles and to not sweat the small
stuff. Earlier in their relationship, the argu-
ments were pride-based, but if they argue
now, its about something more serious. Be-
attie says she tries to have a sense of humor
and make Pannell smile if she knows hes had
a bad day. The couple always asks each other
before inviting company over. Its not about
asking permission, Beattie says, but about be-
ing respectful to your partner.
The break-up
The worst case scenario when living with
your signifcant other is breaking up. Kyle
Doherty, 21, Lees Summit, Mo., senior, expe-
rienced just that. Doherty began dating his
now ex-girlfriend during his freshman year,
and the two waited a year and half to move
in together.
Doherty says he and his ex didnt really
talk about moving in together before they
did it.The couple spent only two weeks living
together before Doherty left to study abroad
in Italy for a semester. Doherty says every-
thing was great when he returned, but in the
months that followed, the couple grew apart.
Although Doherty says they never fought,
they had different plans for the future. Do-
herty says his ex devoted a lot of time to
school and they didnt get to see each other
often. Aside from not seeing each other, he
says they also had communication problems.
After four months of living together, Do-
hertys ex broke things off. He says he wanted
to work things out, but she didnt. Doherty
had to move out of the house he shared with
his ex and two other roommates, and into a
friends apartment.
If he had the opportunity to move in with
another girlfriend one day, he says he would
discuss the situation more in-depth and ra-
tionally. Although he says he would almost
advise against living with ones signifcant oth-
er now, if he chooses to do so again, he and
his girlfriend would have to agree they were
planning to eventually marry.
Margaret Severson, school of social wel-
fare associate professor, says couples who
break up while living together can skip the
legal grieving process, but ending the rela-
tionship is diffcult no matter what the legal
status is. She says a breakup can feel emo-
tionally the same as divorce, but the grieving
period may not be as long because the couple
doesnt have to deal with legal issues.
Goodbye distance
At the end of July, Peter Baum, 22, Green
Bay, Wis., graduate student, and Lyncee Da-
vies, 25, met at Baums brothers going-away
party.They started dating in August, but Baum
moved to Lawrence for school. The distance
was too much to handle, so Davies moved to
Lawrence in November. Baum says he didnt
unpack until he knew she was moving in.
Despite only being together for a short
amount of time, the couple says they didnt
think it was too soon to move in together,
and that it just made sense. They dont see
living together as a trial marriage, but rather
just the next phase of their lives. Severson
says its unrealistic to expect couples who
decide to move in together to have the goal
of marriage in mind. However, she says it is
reasonable to expect couples to make deci-
sions with good thought.
Baum and Davies didnt talk about what
would happen if they broke up, because they
say it didnt seem like an issue. Baum says if
a couple needs to think about whether they
should move in together, or question it, then
they shouldnt do it.
Together when youre not
Jered Becker, 22, and April Spahalski, 20,
have been together for a little more than a
year. Spahalski moved in with Becker to re-
place a roommate who didnt work out. If
Becker hadnt been stuck without a room-
mate, the couple says they would have waited
longer to move in together. Becker says he
was hesitant about moving in with his girl-
friend in case they broke upwhich is ex-
actly what happened.
In September, Becker broke up with Spa-
halski.The couple had spent all their time to-
gether, and Becker felt overwhelmed. Despite
the breakup, Becker and Spahalski continued
to live together.The two say they were some-
what hostile toward one another and had
forced conversations. Spahalski spent a lot of
time at her parents house after the break-up
to get away from their living arrangement.
A month after they broke up, Becker
brought up the idea to Spahalski of getting
back together again. He says he needed out of
the relationship to get a different perspective
on it. Spahalski thought
for a week whether she
should be with Becker.
She wanted to make sure
she knew what he wanted
so she wouldnt get hurt
again.When they got back
together they decided to
make compromises for
one another.
Becker says before
couples move in to-
gether they should con-
sider all the worst-case
scenarios. He also says
couples have to make
a conscious effort to
make each other hap-
py, and twice the ef-
fort when youre living
together. And just as
Candis Beattie advised,
Becker also says not to
go to bed mad.
It just felt right
Erin Shafer, 26, and
Seth Persinger, 21,
Hiawatha sophomore,
have been dating a
year now, but when
they frst got together
they quickly started
spending the night at
one anothers places. After four months of
being together, the couple offcially moved
in together, and Shafer says the move didnt
feel rushed, but natural. She says they fgured
there was no need for two separate places
when they spent so much time together.
The couple says they communicate well
and that theyve learned from past relation-
ships. Shafer and Persinger had both been
engaged before. Shafer says she rushed into
her engagement and moved in with her now
ex-fance just to move right back out. She
says they should have worked on trust and
respect for each other before moving in to-
gether. They say living together isnt to test
whether their relationship is meant for mar-
riage, but they cant really see what would
change if they were married.
Even though Shafer and Persinger live to-
gether, they still have separate lives. Persinger
says even when you love someone you still
need time apart. Having personal space and
time is still important.
And, of course, they say communication
means everything to the relationship. The
couple says arguments can be healthy as long
as theyre handled correctly.
Considerations
Dennis Karpowitz, associate professor
of clinical psychology, says couples need to
be open with each other and discuss their
feelings. He says couples have to be able to
see their signifcant other in a variety of situ-
ations, like what they are like when theyre
mad, dont get their way and when it comes
to compromising, not just what the other
person is like on a date.
Karpowitz says cohabiting just so that sex
is more convenient isnt a good reason for
couples to live together, because theres a dif-
ference between being infatuated and actually
caring about your partner. He says a couples
level of commitment to each other will infu-
ence the longevity of the relationship.
If youre thinking about moving in with
your signifcant other, its important to keep
in mind everything that goes into a cohab-
iting relationship. Have you thought about
fnances, daily responsibilities, what could
happen if you breakup or do you know your
partner well enough to move in? These are
all things you may want to consider.Although
you might not be married and have legal ob-
ligations to one another, living together can
sometimes still feel a lot like marriage. So, be
sure to think wisely and thoroughly before
packing up and moving in.
Photo illustration by Jessica Sain-Baird
Do you and your signifcant other have similar
goals? If not, your academic aspirations could
present a problem in the relationship.
FEATURE
14
December 11, 2008
MANUAL
How to handle
the end of a
relationship
By Heather Melanson
hmelanson@kansan.com
Brock Horner, Lenexa junior, ended a re-
lationship with a guy after dating him for a
month. Horner says the guy was getting too
serious too quickly, and Horner told him the
relationship wouldnt work because he wasnt
looking for a serious commitment at the time.
The ex couldnt take the hint, though. For
more than three months, the ex tried to re-
kindle the fame.
Horner avoided his exs phone calls, made
his screen name invisible to him on Instant
Messenger, and blocked him on MySpace and
Facebook. If Horners ex approached him at a
club, hed say he had a phone call or had to go
to the bathroom to get out of the conversa-
tion.
Getting over a breakup, whether youre
the dumper or dumpee, can be tough. You
dont want to fnd yourself in the same rut as
Horners ex, though, in which youre trying to
salvage something that isnt there anymore.
Heres a guide on how to cope with a
breakup and start the process of mending
your broken heart.
Live your life
You may feel lost without your partner, but
its important to continue with your normal
schedule, KU Psychological Clinic director
Sarah Kirk says. To keep from becoming lonely,
Kirk says you should seek social and emo-
tional support from friends, family or even a
spiritual advisor.
Katie Beatty, Kansas City, Mo., junior, says
she coped with the end of her year-and-a-half
relationship by keeping herself busy. She went
to football games, went out on the weekends
and focused on the positive aspects of her life,
like friends, family and school.
Aside from maintaining a normal life, Kirk
says to stay away from should statements,
like, I should be over this by now, because
they only add insult to injury and makes you
feel guilty, Kirk says. Its more productive to
be honest and make statements like, Im not
over this, but thats okay right now, she says.
Theres a natural period of grief that youll ex-
perience, so dont put more pressure on your-
self with the I should statements.
Write it down
Kirk says journaling is a good way to pro-
cess your feelings, and journaling has been
proven to have physiological benefts. Journal-
ing helps people relax, she says, and it even has
long-term benefts, such as preventing illness.
Writing a letter or an e-mail to your ex
may also help you cope, and you can decide
later if you actually want to send it. It may be
a way for you to say goodbye, or simply to say
how youre feeling.
Boundaries
If you know your ex doesnt want to talk, its
probably better to respect his or her wish and
not try to get in contact, Kirk says. Boundaries
for other forms of contact will also depend
on the relationship youve agreed to maintain.
If you still want to be friends, its probably not
necessary to block your ex on Facebook or
delete your ex from your phone book.
The same goes for getting your stuff back. If
the items are valuable to you, then they might
be worth getting back for closure, Kirk says.
Friendships
You may feel like the best way to cope is
to try to be friends with your ex, but David
Karpowitz, associate professor of clinical psy-
chology, says this can be diffcult because of
the former romantic relationship. Its really a
case-by-case situation, though. Karpowitz says
some people dont want to see each other
ever again, or they might have to be acquain-
tances because they have classes or work to-
gether.
Mutual friends and hangouts can also be an
issue. Karpowitz says mutual friends shouldnt
be forced into taking sides, and it might be too
painful to frequent the same bars or other
hangouts that you and your ex both went to.
Closure and moving on
Its okay to write, call or meet your ex and
ask him or her to help you understand what
went wrong or if you had anything to do with
the relationship ending, even though doing so
might be painful, Karpowitz says. Refect on
your relationship sensibly, he advises, because
no one is perfect and everyone brings both
strengths and weaknesses to the relationship.
Dont try to convince your ex to make things
work, a mistake Karpowitz says he often sees
people make.
It will take time to get over the heartache.
Date again when youre ready, but dont start
dating again until youre no longer invested in
your past relationship. Karpowitz says no one
wants to date someone who still has one foot
in his or her former relationship.
Also keep in mind that breakups are com-
mon, and its normal to be sad and angry, Kar-
powitz says. Dont overwhelm yourself with
breakup thoughts all day. Tell yourself youll
only think about the breakup for a certain
amount of time each day, and make sure what
you go over in your mind will actually be help-
ful to your situation, Karpowitz says.
Hollywood heartbreak
Hollywood goes through it, too. Here are some recent high-profle splits.
Photo illustration by Tyler Waugh
Farewell, fuffy symbol of a former fame! Just as it might give you closure to get your stuff back from your
ex, you can likely fnd closure in getting rid of any sentimental gifts the person gave you.
Life after the
Madonna and Guy Ritchie
The pair announced their
split a couple months
ago after almost eight
years of marriage. The
New York Post reported
that Madonna had a
marriage contract that
stated how often she
and Ritchie should go
out on dates, have sex
and handle arguments. Madonna was once
married to Sean Penn for four years.
Hugh Hefner and girlfriend(s)
The 82-year-old
playboy Hefner and
Holly Madison, 28,
called it quits after
Madison had been
living in the mansion
since 2001. One of
Hefners other girlfriends, Kendra Wilkinson,
recently became engaged to the Philadelphia
Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett.
15
December 11, 2008
MANUAL
Green your
holiday hellos
Each year after the holidays, greeting
cards join ribbons and wrapping paper in
the giant pile of seasonal trash. But this
year, you can decrease your waste by
sending cards that arent made from trees
or with harsh chemical dyes.
Since its launch, Tree-Free Greetings
has made a commitment to producing
greeting cards that dont require killing
trees. The cards are made from sweet
paper, which is a combination of leftover
sugar cane, recycled fbers and post-
consumer waste. Not only are the cards
and envelopes eco-friendly, but artists
create the designs exclusively for the
company and use soy-based ink, which
makes the cards even easier to recycle.
Sparkle, an employee at The Third
Planet, 846 Massachusetts St., says the
combination of materials in the sweet
paper is different for every card and
envelope, which makes each one unique.
The Third Planet sells an array of Tree-
Free Greetings products, including sets of
cards, tissue paper and gift bags.
If you still have last years greeting cards
lying around and are looking for a way to
save money this holiday season, another
great way to stay green is to reuse your
old cards. Simply cut the design off the
front of an old card and paste it to your
own (recycled) paper.
Ariel Tilson
Contributed photo
Spread eco-friendly cheer this season with green
greeting cards, like this one from Tree-Free Greetings.
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Catering
Just because it cleans you doesnt
mean its clean. As with any type of kitch-
en sponge or bathroom scrubber, shower
loofahs can get grungy.
Matthew Buechner, associate profes-
sor of molecular biosciences, says bacte-
ria wont necessarily grow on the plastic
mesh ball, but after a few rounds of lath-
ering up, you leave behind dead skin cells
on which bacteria can grow. The warm,
damp environment of a shower provides
a perfect bacteria breeding ground, and
all the layers tucked into your loofah
increase the amount of skin it can hold,
thus increasing the number of skin cells
for bacteria to feed on.
Mike Russell, director of the Univer-
sitys department of environmental health
and safety, says putting your loofah in the
washing machine on the hot cycle about
once a week should take care of any lurk-
ing bacteria. Buechner suggests soaking
your loofah in bleach before washing it.
So, each time you wash a load of tow-
els or your sheets, go ahead and toss in
your loofah. Just to be on the safe side.
Realle Roth
plastic loofahs
Thank you for participating.
Keep wearing your shirt.
New Location at 23rd & Naismith
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www.kucu.org 3400 W 6th Street and 2221 W 31st Street 785.749.2224
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16
December 11, 2008
HEALTH
17
December 11, 2008
HEALTH
By Susan Melgren
smelgren@kansan.com
When Erin DeWalt, Overland Park
sophomore, lived in McCollum Hall last year,
she and her roommates would bust out the
Lysol wipes once a month and fully disinfect
their room. Nothing was safe. Countertops,
doorknobs, deskseven head boards
were all wiped down. Any surface they had
touched, they cleaned. Living in McCollum,
DeWalt says dust accumulated quickly and
people, often sick, would visit her room all
the time.
Living in such close quarters, you dont
realize how much contact you have with
others, she says.
Community living is a part of college.
Those fouror fveyears wouldnt be
complete without the experience of shar-
ing a tiny living space with too many people.
But even though its fun and often conve-
nient, community living brings with it an ar-
ray of health issues. Cleanliness is hard to
maintain with so many people, sickness can
arise from living in cramped quarters, and
the constant stream of visitors can strain
our mental health.
Disease spreads quickly, which is one
reason why the University requires a num-
ber of immunizations before you can live
in student housing. Patty Quinlan, nursing
supervisor at Watkins Memorial Health
Center, says the lifestyle changes students
go through at college weaken their immune
systems. You stay up later. Your meals be-
come less regular and probably less healthy.
Youre no longer in a home environment
where you have someone taking better
care of you. And, on top of all that, you live
in close quarters with a lot of different peo-
ple and their germs. Its a living community,
but its also a bacteria community, Quinlan
says. Everyone brings their own mix to the
table.
Once one person in McCollum gets
sick, everyone gets sick, DeWalt says.
DeWalt had a bad cold from November
to February last year, and she caught pink
eye and the fu twice. She once had the fu
for three solid weeks. DeWalt says she was
good friends with fve girls on her foor,
and they just kept passing the fu around
to each other.
Part of the problem results from lack of
cleanliness in community living. Its hard to
avoid catching your roommates cold when
you share a tiny roomand everything in
it. Elizabeth Scott, microbiologist and co-di-
rector of the Simmons College Center for
Hygiene and Health in Boston, says most
surfaces in shared living environments, es-
pecially in bedrooms, are hand-contact
surfaces. These surfaces are touched all the
time, not just by you but by roommates,
friends, visitors and even that guy youre
working on your Spanish project with. Each
time we touch those surfaces, we deposit
our own germs and pick up others. When
rooms dont receive regular cleaning, the
bacteria can build up. Scott says this is an
easy way to transfer illnesses such as the
common cold and the fu, but also more
serious illnesses like MRSA infection, more
commonly known as staph infection, and
Norovirus, or the stomach fu.
Bedrooms arent the only places sus-
ceptible to germs. Community bathrooms
are infamous for being germ-ridden and
disgusting. Leslie Hodges, DeSoto sopho-
more, tells horror stories of the bathroom
she used at McCollum last year. There was
black mold dripping from the ceilings and
the showers, Hodges says. And the girls
werent very courteous with where they
got sick. Hodges says someone threw up
in one of the sinks last year, but because the
maintenance staff was so inconsistent with
their cleaning, it didnt get cleaned up for an
entire week.
Scott says that when we vomit, viruses
become airborne and land on various sur-
faces. That isnt the only bathroom hazard,
however. Scotts says some bathrooms are
covered in fecal coliforms, which are bac-
teria we excrete in our feces. And theres
always the risk of mold and fungus. Quin-
lan says if bathrooms arent cleaned often
enough, they can harbor athletes foot and
nail fungus, which are easily transferred
when multiple people step in and out of a
warm, moist shower.
And community living strains more than
just our physical health. It affects our men-
tal health, too. We face thousands of people
on campus every day, only to come home
to a shared room. Its not a problem for ev-
eryone, but for some students, the constant
presence of others and the lack of privacy
can drive them crazy.
Jon Huffmaster, St. Louis senior, lived in
Stephenson Scholarship Hall for two years.
Huffmaster had a private room his second
year, but shared a room his frst year in the
hall. It started to drive me nuts because
there was never a time to have my own
space, he says. Though he says hes a peo-
ple-person, Huffmaster says he could never
get enough alone time.
John Wade, psychologist for KU coun-
seling, says the need for privacy varies. In-
troverts need alone time to feel energized.
Extroverts derive energy from time with
others, Wade says. That said, all of us have
a need for a certain amount of alone time
which is very hard to get if you live with
others.
Sharing a living environment is a staple
of college. Even though it brings with it a
few health concerns, living with others is
an excellent opportunity to meet lifelong
friends, and build skills necessary for inter-
acting with others in the workforce.
The college experience as we tra-
ditionally defne it isnt living alone in an
apartment somewhere, Wade says.
Sharing more than a room
The health risks of community living
Guard your space from germs
Living with others is practically unavoidable during college, but catching your roommates sick-
ness doesnt have to be. The best way to prevent illness in community living is to clean regularly.
Elizabeth Scott, co-director of the Simmons College Center for Hygiene and Health in Boston,
says no one really knows how often you should clean, only that you should do it regularly.
Your room:
When you clean your room, do more than
just vacuum. Disinfect surfaces like the door
knob and fridge handles.
Your fridge:
One thing students forget is the shared
fridge, Scott says. Wherever you keep food,
its important to keep those surfaces clean.
Scott also says to clean the microwave.
Yourself:
Practice good hygiene. Scott says the most
important hygiene practice is hand hygiene.
She recommends carrying around a bottle of
alcohol-gel hand sanitizer. If you cant wash
your hands, you can at least sanitize, Scott
says.
18 December 11, 2008
PLAY
Why turn to the same old, prepackaged,
rehashed television specials this winter
for your holiday cheer when you can get
your seasons greetings live and right here
in town? This weekend, the Lawrence Arts
Center is offering a local twist on a holi-
day favorite with their production, A Kansas
Nutcracker.
In this retelling of Tchaikovskys classic
ballet, Clara and her family are relocated to
Lawrence in the 1850s, with every charac-
ter of the time period portrayed, from na-
tive grasshoppers and sunfowers to John
Brown.
After viewing productions of The Nut-
cracker all over the country, Deborah Met-
tinger, choreographer and artistic director
for the Lawrence Youth Ballet, started brain-
storming how Lawrence could put its own
stamp on the ballet. In 2002, with the help
of stage director and playwright Ric Averill,
Mettinger brought forth a reincarnation of
the production seen through the historical
setting of Kansas during the same time pe-
riod.
With more than 170 people involved
in A Kansas Nutcrackerfrom kids to
professional dancers and a 12-piece man-
dolin orchestraMettinger hopes audience
members will enjoy the total talent, energy
and exuberance that each person brings to
the stage.
A Kansas Nutcracker will be showing
this Friday and Saturday at 7:30 p.m. at the
Lawrence Arts Center, with a Sunday per-
formance at 2 p.m. Student tickets are $12.
Visit www.law-
renceartscenter.
com for more
information.
Derek
Zarda
THIS WEEKEND:
A Kansas Nutcracker
Going to KU basketball games, partying, and being
able to sleep in after partying without worrying about
classes.
Sara Minor, Lawrence sophomore
I love snowboarding, reading in front of a fre, and bak-
ing cookies.
Ashley DeSandre, Pocono Lake, Penn., sophomore
I like watching Christmas movies and drinking hot
chocolate with marshmallows. My favorite movie is
White Christmas, because I love musicals.
Stephanie Peterson, Palm Bay, Fla., graduate student
Roadtripping to Denver for a conference for Campus
Crusade for Christ each year. Its fun because I always
get to ride with ridiculous people in the car.
Steven Griswold, Forsyth, Ill., senior
I like to get my knitting done. Its mostly scarves. Theyre
Christmas presents, so I really have to get on them over
winter break.
Melinda Branin, Jal, N. M., senior
Im looking forward to sleeping in and hanging out with
my friends. Maybe Ill go sledding or play with snow.
Taylor Smith, Fulton, Mo., sophomore
Building snow forts and having snowball fghts with
friends, because I really enjoy not being an adult.
Libby Heidrich, Wheaton, Ill., junior
Skiing and duck hunting. I go hunting with my parents, and
I got my frst goose on Christmas when I was 10.
Hannah Wagner, Johnston, Iowa, sophomore
I like seeing the last Oscar bids in movie theatres
before the kickoff of awards season, as well as watching
bowl games.
Ajani Jackson, East Lansing, Mich., senior
Derek Zarda
Whats your favorite thing to
do during winter break?
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December 11, 2008
PLAY
By Asher Fusco
afusco@kansan.com
Chad Johnson sprints across the middle
of the feld with hands outstretched, a Phila-
delphia Eagles defensive back hot on his heels.
The pass comes in low and hard, and Johnson
cant secure the ball. Its another drop in a
season-long bucket of disappointment for
Johnson and the Cincinnati Bengals. But the
woeful Bengals arent the only ones suffering
the side effects of the wide receivers poor
showing. The Beers can feel Johnsons pain
630 miles away in Lawrence.
Chad Johnson sucks, says Sam Zerger,
Wichita senior and owner of The Beers, a
fantasy football team.
Zerger is one of 17 million fantasy foot-
ball team owners nationwide. Nine Univer-
sity of Kansas-based Facebook groups devot-
ed to Fantasy football exist, along with one
global group dubbed, Addicted to Fantasy
Football. The big-and-getting-bigger fantasy
sports phenomenon is intriguing. On one
hand, it makes people feel like part of a com-
munity and helps sharpen cognitive skills. On
the other hand, it potentially consumes time
and money.
Fantasy football owners draft a team of
about 15 professional players at the begin-
ning of the season. As the season wears on,
team ownersusually 12 per leaguecan
haggle and barter with one another, swap-
ping, dropping and adding players to build
their rosters. Points are assigned to each
player each week for positive contributions
such as yards gained or touchdowns scored,
and deducted for negatives such as intercep-
tions or fumbles. Fantasy football ownership
puts the fan in charge of a roster without the
high-stakes investment of purchasing a multi-
million dollar sports franchise.
But participating in fantasy sports is of-
ten about more than personal satisfaction.
University of Wisconsin-Madison assistant
professor Erica Halverson, who researches
competitive fandom and fantasy sports,
says fantasy sports leagues engender a sense
of community. With the explosion of ac-
cess online, people are able to have deeper
participation in activities they care about,
Halverson says. People have a desire to be
members of cultures and participate in ac-
tivities that matter to them. That mirrors the
experience of fantasy sports.
Fantasy games give fans an opportunity
to connect with their favorite sports with-
out having to follow one specifc team. For
that reason, fantasy football has helped the
National Football League proft. According
to the Fantasy Sports Trade Association, 55
percent of fantasy owners watch more foot-
ball in order to track their players than they
would otherwise. Yahoo! Sports and ESPN
employ multiple writers and fantasy sports
analysts to help owners choose their play-
ers. Zerger, who owns two teams, says the
experience helps him better follow football
on a weekly basis. You have to keep track of
whos playing who, whos injured, whos hot,
and things like that, Zerger says. It makes
you focus more on the league as a whole
rather than just your favorite team.
Halverson sees the potential for fantasy
sports to serve as more than a football-
teaching tool, but as an all-around mental
exercise. She says fantasy owners, who often
make roster adjustments based on minute
details such as the substitution patterns of
real-life NFL teams and the weather condi-
tions during each game, could also be learn-
ing how to interpret statistics and data. Halv-
erson says fantasy players arent necessarily
better at processing data, but that the game
can teach players to deal with statistical pro-
cesses they might not face in
day-to-day life.
Its a different way to look
at football, says Stuart Gross, St.
Louis junior. Its usually looked at
as a team game, but with fantasy,
you have to look more closely at the
individual aspect. Things like the style
of play or specifc strengths of each
team your players are on is important.
Gross, who maintains four fantasy
football teams, spends about 20 minutes
each week signing players and setting his
rosters. But he says researchingwatching
ESPNeats up a large chunk of his time.
Gross four-team fantasy habit isnt obses-
sive, but Halverson says she has seen some
more serious fantasy owners run as many as
10 teams at a time.
The sense of community and enhanced
stat-processing skills aside, fantasy team
ownership is, in essence, a legal alternative to
sports betting. Gambling on sporting events
is illegal in most of the United States, but
owning a fantasy teameven in leagues that
offer cash prizesis commonplace. Fantasy
sports has become a big business. Sport-
sLine.com boosted its revenue by 40
percent from 2003 to 2004 by intro-
ducing pay-for-play fantasy leagues,
according to a CNet report.
Since 2004, fantasy games have
grown even more popular,
causing some companies to
block fantasy sports Web
sites on employee comput-
ers. The businesses have
reason to worry: According
to a study by the frm Challenger
Gray & Christmas, workers who waste time
on fantasy sports sites lose their companies a
nationwide total of $37 million per year.
University of Nevada at Las Vegas profes-
sor Bo Bernhard released a study that found
similarities between fantasy team ownership
and sports gambling, but stopped short of
calling fantasy sports addictive. Bernhard
found rare instances of individuals be-
coming hooked on fantasy sports,
but his work reinforces Halversons
belief that fantasy sports arent
necessarily negative.
Its not a good or a bad thing,
Halverson says. Its something peo-
ple do.
Whats your fan-t-t-t-asy?
Fantasy football
owners explore the
game within the game
Where to play: The top online fantasy sports stops
YahooSports.com. Yahoo! Sports has built
one of the largest fantasy sports empires on
the Internet by offering free games. Participants
can own as many teams as they want at no
charge. For more serious fantasy gurus,Yahoo!
Sports offers live stat tracking and in-depth
player scouting reports for $10 per season.

ESPN.com. ESPN isnt as popular as Yahoo!
Sports among fantasy players, but it features
free live stat tracking and a sleek page design.
ESPN also an army of fantasy sports analysts
who offer opinions on which players to draft
and which players to drop.

NFL.com. The NFL only offers fantasy foot-
ball (obviously), which keeps it from serving
fantasy junkies all-sport needs. But the NFL
fantasy games do come with prize packages for
the winners, such as a trip to the Super Bowl
or the 2009 season opener.
Photos by the Associated Press
(From top) Tony Romo of the Dallas Cow-
boys, Brian Westbrook of the Philadelphia
Eagles, and Michael Turner of the Atlanta
Falcons.
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21
December 11, 2008
REVIEWS
Movies to watch for in 2009
A sneak peek at next years blockbusters and busts
By Miller Davis
editor@kansan.com
Now that 2008 is ending, its time to
look forward to the movies of 2009. Be-
cause movie executives fear low turnout
at the box offce, 2009 is going to be the
year of the sequel. Studios are most likely
to put money in franchises or well-known
stories that have proven themselves to be
moneymakers in the past. I have given each
upcoming flm a rating based on current
reviews, trailers and the general hype sur-
rounding the movie.
1. Time will tell. These movies have
potential to be great but we dont know
enough to defnitively say they are worth
seeing.
2. Tear-jerker. These movies tug on
your heartstrings, and have a good chance
of being up for an Oscar.
3. Buy tickets now. These are the
movies that have good hype, and look to
be truly entertaining flms.
4. Mass hysteria. These are the flms
that might be diffcult to get tickets to
within the frst couple of weeks. They also
have the potential draw a lot of costumed
fans who delight in reenacting their favorite
characters.

Trailers and release date information is
from IMDB.com, MovieTome.com, RottenTo-
matoes.com and TrailerAddict.com. Release
dates are subject to change.
The Wrestler
Mickey Rourke stars in the flm by Darren
Aronofsky about an over-the-hill profes-
sional wrestler coming to terms with his
life and trying to right his wrongs. The trail-
ers make this look like it could be one of
Rourkes best performances and great tale
of redemption. Opens January 16. Rating:
Tear-jerker.
Boondock Saints 2: All
Saints Day
With the original cast and director return-
ing, this movie has a lot of hype behind it.
The original became a cult classic, despite
harsh critical reviews, and the sequel will
hopefully have more commercial success
in theaters. Dorm rooms everywhere are
going to get a new poster to hang next
to Scarface. Unknown Release. Rating:
Time will tell.
Angels and Demons
Dan Browns prequel to the lackluster flm
version of The Davinci Code again stars
Tom Hanks as symbologist Robert Langdon
and his Indiana Jones-esque adventures to
uncover the truth in history. Ron Howard
returns to direct. Hopefully this will outing
will have more pop than the previous flm,
and less Tom Hanks in a ridiculous hair-
cut. He left out a release date on this one.
Rating: Time will tell.
Terminator: Salvation
Despite Arnolds presence in the last install-
ment, Rise of the Machines was a stinker.
The studios and fans are betting that Chris-
tian Bale as the human resistance leader,
John Conner, can revive the franchise and
thrill audiences once again. The trailers for
this one look very promising. Opens May
22nd. Rating: Buy tickets now.
Watchmen
Based on the most acclaimed graphic novel
of all time, and directed by 300 director
Zack Snyder this could be one of the most
exciting movies of the year. Think Harry
Potter madness with 30-year-old men, and
Ill be right there with them. Opens March
6. Rating: Mass hysteria.
Fast and Furious 4
I know what your saying, How can it get
better than drift racing in Tokyo with Lil
Bow Wow? Of course, Im kidding, but
the fourth installment of the F&F franchise
looks to have more production value and
a better story behind it this time. Vin Die-
sel and Paul Walker to return to the movie
that gave them both careers. Opens June
12. Verdict: Time will tell.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
The frst in a possible series of X-Men pre-
quels which highlight how the X-Men came
to be. Harnessing the buzz of the movie
franchises most popular character will get
big box offce numbers for this outing. We
are also introduced to Gambit in this flm,
who was conspicuously missing from the
frst three movies, much to the chagrin of
fanboys everywhere. Rating: Buy tick-
ets now.
The Soloist
The true story of an L.A. journalist, played
by Robert Downey Jr., and a schizophrenic
musical prodigy, played by Jamie Foxx. Two
great actors, plus a gut-wrenching storyline
all but guarantees Oscar gold. Opens April
24. Rating: Tear-jerker.
Harry Potter and the Half-
Blood Prince
This is the big one. With over two years
since the last installment, fans will be
anxiously awaiting the next, much darker,
Potter flm with bated breathe. You may
need an invisibility cloak just to get in the
theater if you want to see this in the frst
few weeks. Opens July 17. Rating: Mass
hysteria.
Transformers: Rise of the
Fallen
Another two hours of Optimus Prime
transforming from semi-truck to ass-kick-
ing robot and fghting Decepeticons dis-
guised as tanks and F-15s? Some may con-
sider it mindless entertainment but its just
too damn cool not to enjoy. Opens June 26.
Rating: Buy tickets now.
Where the Wild Things Are
Amidst rumors of complete re-flming,
the general consensus is that this is not
a movie made for children. Screen shots
and buzz on the flm suggest that it is go-
ing to be a dark and disturbing take on the
popular childrens book. Unknown Release.
Rating: Time will tell.
Several other movies are rumored to be
in pre-production that you may want to
keep an eye out for in the coming months:
Wonder Woman, Spider-Man 4, Thor, Justice
League of America, Fahrenheit 451 and X-
Men Origins: Magneto.
(From left) Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, The Soloist, a scene in Where
the Wild Things Are, and Watchmen.
22
December 11, 2008
REVIEWS
At frst listen, Kanye Wests newest
album, 808s and Heartbreak, is shockinga
record so dramatically different from his
previous work that its hard to believe
West had a hand in it at all. The albums
heartbreaking display of emotions,
Wests use of a TR-808 drum machine,
and his decision to sing through an auto-
tuner gives his newest release qualities
few could have expected. Qualities that
separate him from his former self while
at the same time reinforce old character
traits such as his confdenceor, some
would say, insufferable egotism. West
was obviously confdent enough to do
something completely different from what
was expected of him, and he also doesnt
hesitate to wear his heart on his sleeve
while doing so.
808s and Heartbreak portrays West
as a despairing man, just as the title
would suggest. Among his woes is a failed
relationship with his fanceHow could
you be so heartless? West asks his ex
on the track Heartless and in his track
titled Welcome to Heartbreak, West
laments, Look back on my life, all my life
gone, where did I go wrong? You can hear
rapping on a few points throughout the
album, including Jeezys collaboration on
Amazing and Lil Waynes appearance on
See You In My Nightmares. Even so, Wests
unabashed display of heartache fused with
synthesized beats can be redundant. For
example, the opening track, Say You Will,
is a song with a long, repetitive outro that
quickly becomes tiresome.
Of course, its hard to deny the
catchiness of some of the songs. Love
Lockdown is an undeniably likable track,
and Wests use of strings and synths
makes for an entertaining listen. Listeners
looking for Wests previous brand of
ingenuity and eloquence wont fnd it on
this album, however. 808s and Heartbreak
is exactly what its title sounds like: Wests
experimental combination of drum
machines and dejectedness.
Amanda Sorell
MUSIC: Kanye West, 808s and Heartbreak
Chess records may have been your
parents or even your grandparents favorite
recording studio. In the 50s, artists on the
Chess label ruled the airwaves, and Cadillac
Records tells their somewhat muddled
story. Full of powerful music performed by
the actors themselves, Cadillac Records is
an entertaining movie that breaks up the
holiday season monotony.
The main draw for many will be
Beyonces role as the incomparable Etta
James. Her performance is the best of
her young career, with her vocal talent on
display as she cranks out her characters
famous tunes.
Most of the story chronicles Chess
Records arguably most famous artist,
Muddy Waters, played by Jeffery Wright.
Wright gives his best performance by
far as the soulful blues man. He brings
an intensity and fre to the screen as his
fngers thunder on the guitar. His voice
sounds almost like the real deal.
Chuck Berry is played by musician-
turned-actor, Mos Def. Def shells out
a great performance as one of the
godfathers of rock n roll. He even does a
knockdown job of doing Berrys signature
duck walk across the stage, easily one of
the flms funniest sequences.
While the music is frst rate, the story
sometimes doesnt translate like it should.
The story changes from artist to artist,
sometimes leaving things unanswered or
hazy. The flm as a whole looks as glossy
and nostalgic as the Cadillacs each musician
drives, hence the name of the flm.
Cadillac Records is one of the years
most entertaining movies, with some of
the years best performances. The music
will entertain even the biggest skeptics,
and will keep them humming its tunes long
after the screen goes dark.
Mark Arehart
MOVIE:
Cadillac Records
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23
December 11, 2008
SPEAK
Goodbye Jesus, hello guru
Why not try someone elses religion on for a change?
By Ariel Tilson
atilson@kansan.com
This will be great, my cousin assures
me as I grip the door handle gathering the
courage to leave the safe haven of her car.
We just parked outside of what looks like
a comely suburban house with a yellow-
orange fag fying above. The fag displays an
emblem of two swords with curved blades.
This same symbol, a Khanda, is engraved
on the impressive iron gates that block the
driveway and is etched on a mini tapestry
dangling from the rearview mirror of my
cousins car.
Weve arrived in Shawnee, Kan., at a
gurdwara, or Sikh place of worship, for the
Sunday morning service. Im starting to feel
uneasy about my decision to come along.
Sikhism is a monotheistic religion founded
by Guru Nanak in the 15th century and
based on the poetic scriptures of the holy
book, the Guru Granth Sahib. One of my
favorite parts of Sikhism, from what Ive
learned, is that it preaches equality of all
people, including women, and discourages
the caste system. My cousin is a Sikh, and
she invited me to come along, because the
services are open for anyone to attend.
To clarify, were not actually related. Shes
my brother-in-laws cousin. But as weve
grown closer, Ive begun to think of her as
my cousin, too.
Finally I take a deep breath and manically
adjust the scarf that covers my head before
carefully getting out of the car. The boys on
the basketball court outside, with their long
hair covered and pulled up into top knots,
pause to gawk at the gori, or white girl. My
cousin gives me a reassuring smile and ush-
ers me toward the building.
We join the queue of men wearing
pagris, or turbans, and women clothed for-
mally in salwar kameez, which are dresses
that resemble a long tunic and loose pants.
I nervously check that the chunni, or scarf,
that Im wearing to respectfully cover my
hair, is still on my head.
Before we enter the main hall of the
gurdwara, we take off our shoes and place
them next to a vast array of other shoes
of all shapes and sizes. I once more feel for
my chunni, swallow my nerves and take a
step inside.
We inch down the aisle that separates
the colorful turbaned heads of the men
on the right side from the colorful scarved
heads of the women on the left. By the time
we reach the offering plate at the end, I real-
ize that Ive felt this nervousness before. Its
the same self-consciousness I used to feel
when I attended Episcopalian masses grow-
ing up.
I was raised Episcopalian, which is a
branch of the Anglican Communion, better
known as the church that King Henry XIII
started when he split from Catholicism be-
cause the pope at the time wouldnt grant
him a divorce. Growing up as the daughter
of a priest, I was permanently in the sanctu-
arys spotlight on Sundays. My fathers reli-
gious role made all of us props in the play of
the perfect church-going family. Maybe that
explains why I forgot to bring any money
for the offering, because when your father
is the priest, its kind of pointless to give him
your money.
Offerings at a gurdwara, however, also
fund the communal meal that is served af-
ter the service. Apologetically I place in a
meager offering of $1 in coins on the pile
of dollars heaped in front of the raised plat-
form that houses the holy book. I mimic my
cousin, lowering myself onto my knees and
touching my forehead to the foor, all the
while clutching my chunni like a life pre-
server.
We take a seat on the foor next to
the other women, and my cousin reminds
me to cross my legs so that my feet arent
disrespectfully pointing at the book. As I sit
there, the thoughts that used to haunt me
during my childhood Sundays begin to race
through my head again. Is my underwear
showing? Did I kneel long enough? Is
everyone staring? Do I ft in?
Throughout the service, my cousin, in
her consummate role as my personal guru,
leans over to explain what Im hearing and
seeing. The silver bracelet on her right wrist,
which she is required to wear as a Sikh,
dances as she points to the book placed on
a raised platform with a canopy hung above.
Thats the holy book, the Guru Granth Sa-
hib, she whispers. I nod discreetly and ask
in a whisper why theyre waving a fan above
the book while they read. She responds that
the fan, or chaur, is a symbol of respect.
Each slow wave of the fan futters my
gold chunni and relaxes me more and more.
Because the Sikh scripture specifcally pro-
hibits idolatry, the room is void of distrac-
tions like incense or decorations common
in Episcopalian services. The edge of my
chunni narrows my vision to the sway-
ing back of the woman sitting directly in
front of me. I begin to forget the nervous
thoughts I had before and start to enjoy the
experience.
I can hear the muffed singing of the sha-
bad, or sacred hymns, from those around
me. I feel the little girl behind me fumbling
around impatiently. I start to feel at peace,
like a part of the community. The embar-
rassed fush fades from my cheeks and the
butterfies settle in my stomach.
I actually feel reluctant to move when
we have to stand up at the end of the ser-
vice, but Im curious to try the warm sweet-
meat, called parshad, which is handed out
afterward and made from wheat, four, sugar
and butter. The parshad looks and feels like
cookie dough and has a bland favor. I take
a few pinches from my mine and hand the
rest to my cousin.
Finally, we head downstairs to the langar,
where a meal is prepared and served each
week by a different family from the congre-
gation. Sitting on the foor in the basement,
surrounded by other families eating togeth-
er, Im reminded of the potluck dinners we
use to have after church. But here the food
is spicier and all vegetarian, so everyone can
eat it. I feel calmer than I did before the ser-
vice, and although I know that I still stick
out like a sore thumb, Ive enjoyed sharing
this feeling of community with my cousin.
Im glad I decided to come.
Photo illustration by Ryan McGeeney
(Top) Young Ariel with her father, who is an Episcopalian priest. (Above) Ariel wearing her chunni, which is a
traditional scarf worn by women of the Sikh religion.
Jayplay
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