In the Cup we Trust Week 1

Adams Team shocks world,

ghts o! Dans Dandy Team
in The Epic Bowl

Theyre calling it The Epic Bowl.

This wasnt supposed to be the game that got all the ladies
cooing. 2013 Ruby Langer winner was ranked #2 in projected
scoring and was still supposed to lose to top"ranked R&S Hip
Hop Machine. The two league initiates were playing their rst
games and it was against each other. An auto"draft team against
the 2013 Shoshana Marder winner? Not even a feces"throwing
monkey could give a crap.

But as a Joan Rivers surgeon once said, we made a big mistake.

Adams Team sprouted from the depths of projected
incompetence to take his 139.2 points to the edge of a record
setting performance heading into Monday nights games. But like
the inappropriately dressed girl at a college party, Dans Dandy
Team refused to be ignored.
Ignorant of the weight of
its 42 point decit, DD
dropped nearly !y ve
points to bring itself within
4 points of victory against
an Adams Team sitting
nervously at 148.62. But
two potential game winning
passes to DD WR2 Keenan
Allen fell incomplete, and
Adams team emerged
victor in a game that
carried a bigger punch
than Ray Rice.

1
Akivas Corner
What is she doing here?
But why?!
Where will I hide the
children?!

Recent sightings of a straight
A report card wrapped inside
a saggy undergarment spelling
out a bleached kiss my a**
Ruby Langer!! on its rear, has
thrown the entire LFFFL into
a t of pandemonium. I
thought I got of rid her, was
all League Owner, Langer told
reporters. With the rising
sales of Lisa Sees best seller
Shanghai Girls, it seems
apparent that Rena Katz is
indeed back. And ready to
strike.

I havent been this scared
since the fth grade spelling"
bee, shuttered ______ team
owner, Jason Langer. And
scared he should be" last time
Rena Katz was spotted in
1963, three bodies were found
the same night, B" scripted
on each of their stomachs
with red lipstick. So lock the
doors and keep youre eyes
out for a maroon blouse and
kittens running in herds. Shes
back.
RUBY READER
Family | Honor | Destiny
Ray Lewis was quoted as saying the Adams
Team " Dans Dandy Team matchup was
more epic than this baby punch.
In the Cup we Trust Week 1
The Epic Bowl marked the only time in league history that a
would"be record setting performance resulted in a loss. As Adams
Team reveled in the glory of the single highest scoring
performance in league history, sources close to Dans Dandy Team
manger Dan Rutta have reported Rutta received a phone call
after the game from former Chicago Cubs right elder Sammy
Sosa. When asked for comment, Sosa replied, F*** Mark
McGwire! and hung up immediately.

In other news, Sta#ord Infection had its way with Akivas Team.
The 40.08 point blowout marks the largest of the season so far
and a strong start for a team that didn't earn its rst win of 2013
until week ve. When asked for comment, Akivas Team manager
Akiva Marder responded, Are you sure I should have taken
Andrew Luck over Tom Brady?

On the subject of things that suck, Shoshana Marder favorite
Jasons Swell Team took care of business against 2012 Stanley
Langer champion Fragers Team. The double digit victory marks
the rst opening week win in the franchises moribund history.
After discussions with licensed therapists, the LFFFL has
reached out to the single fan of the team formerly known as
Team Jay Langer in order to prevent a disillusioned hope of a
positive future for manager Jason Langers squad going forward.

W2W4 Next Week
Adams Team looks to continue its dominance against 9th place
Akivas team, #10 Fragers Team stumbles o# against #11 R&S
Hip Hop Machine in a battle to not be the worst.
2
Thoughts from the
Commissioners Desk
Curse words. They just dont
make sense anymore.
Modern society has created an
ethics in which sexual excursions
are celebrated and teenage
celibacy is as popular as being fat
and ugly (and not being named
Rosie ODonell. She has a lot of
friends). Yet all the same, the
term F*** you is arguably the
most common piece of mud
hurled at an aggravating victim
today.
Firstly, the f-word is a verb, and
thusly is equivalent to yelling
jump you! or color you!. But
more importantly, in the world we
live in it seems to make the term
more words of encouragement
than belittlement. If sexual
intercourse is an action
seemingly worthy of a high ve,
then is the term F u
synonymous with screaming
succeed you!?

Please dont get me started with
the term F*** this s***. That is
for another time.
The commissioners new hip look to attract
underprivileged kids to the league