Chaos Ensues as the Wait for

Damian Continues
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By Ari Marder | LFFFL.weebly.com

Mobs began forming outside the apartment residence of Scotticus Schreiber and wife Jessica
Tuesday night as the 2014 LFFFL Draft Challenge reached its halfway point. This is madness!
exclaimed one infuriated participant, blood streaming down her face. Either she gives us the
baby, or were going to take it from her!

With New York City Riot Police shielding building entry and apartment windows buried under a
sea of pelted baby dolls, the scene was set perfectly for a stress-induced labor. However, despite
the private urging of would-be top pick Team Ruttas, another day passed without the emergence
of baby Damian.

As tensions mounts on both ends, pundits are now
entrenched on either side of how the most
controversial baby in the world will be received
upon its birth. Some, such as league initiate and
current potential top pick holder Jason Saibel, feel
hopeful. Others, led by league matriarch Ruby
Langer, find the situation all too stressful to handle
have resorted to just wanting a healthy great-
grandchild. Still more, particularly August 1 date
holder Team Jay Langer, appear confused.

In other league news, sources who requested
anonymity due to a gag order on discussing private league meeting matters reported that the
LFFFL Facebook forum is currently in the midsts of a heated debate that could transform the
makeup of the league faster than Frankie Munez can stop being a relevant part of Hollywood.
Though unconfirmed, it is generally believed that a switch to decimal scoring, financial dues and
prizes, and perhaps most significantly yahoo.com are all on the table for an organization that has
already seen more innovations this summer than the Ultra Orthodox Jewish community has ever.

Regardless, The clock continues to tick on the emergence of baby Damian. For all of our sakes,
lets hope it happens soon.
The scene outside the residence of Team Schreiber
manager Scotticus Schreiber and pregnant wife
Jessie.