Puttingachildonaleashgivessomeparentsastrongersenseofsafety

AshleyGurbalSat,May22,2010@6:54am|updatedSat,May22,2010@7:11am
BRUCELIPSKY/TheTimesUnion
LizZurnsaysher4yearoldautisticson,Jack,ispronetowandering,butshe'sopposedtousingaleashtocontrolhim.
WhenAprilLewishearsofamissingchild,shecan'thelpbutthinkofherson,LoganIrizarry.At21/2,Loganhasahabitofwandering
offinpublicplaces.
"It'stypicalfortoddlers,"saidLewis,28,ofJacksonville."Theyseesomethingthey'reinterestedin,andthey'reoffwithoutthethoughtof,
'Oh,there'saroadbetweenwhereIamandwhereIwanttobe.'"
SowhenLewistakesLoganandhissister,3montholdLanaIrizarry,outonherown,Loganwearsaleashsoshecankeeptrackofhim.
BesidesLogan'stendencytorun,recentnewsstoriesofmissingchildrenhaveconvincedLewishersonneedstobeonaleash.
InApril,an11yearoldgirlwithAsperger'ssyndromespentfourdaysinaswampaftershedisappearedfromherCentralFloridahome.
Otherstoriesthatpopupinthenewsofyoungchildrenbeingabductedkeepheronedge,too.
Ican'tevenkeepstraighthowmanykidstherearethatarekidnapped,"Lewissaid."Itisscary,andifsomethinglikethatdidhappenand
[mysonwas]reallyfivefeetawayIcan'tevenimagine."
Reportsofmissingchildrenhavereignitedalongtimedebateamongsomeparentsonhowtokeeptheirchildrensafe.Some,likeLewis,
arestillchoosingaleash;otherspreferbuttonsandeventemporarytattoos.
TherearesixmissingchildrenlistedonthestateDepartmentofLawEnforcement'sMissingandEndangeredPersonsInformation
ClearingHouseInformationwebsite.ThemostrecentlistingisHaleighCummings,who'sbeenmissingsinceFebruary2009;theoldestis
ZacharyMichaelColeBernhardt,whodisappearedinSeptember2000.
InApril,theFloridaHouseandSenateunanimouslyapprovedtheChildAbductionPreventionActbill.SignedbyGov.CharlieCristMay
11,theactwillgointoeffectJan.1.
Themeasureisaimedatpreventinginternationalparentalabductions.Familyabductionsoccurmuchmorefrequentlythanstranger
abductions,accordingtothemostrecentNationalIncidenceStudiesofMissing,Abducted,RunwayandThrownawaychildrenreport,
whichwasreleasedbytheU.S.DepartmentofJusticeinOctober2002.
Thatreportfoundthatwhile797,500childrenwerereportedmissinginaoneyearperiod,115ofthosechildrenwerevictimsof
"stereotypicalkidnappings."Thereportdefinesastereotypicalkidnappingasoneinvolvingsomeonethechilddoesn'tknowwhoholds
thechildovernight,takesthechildmorethan50ormoremilesaway,demandsransom,killsthechildorintendstokeepthechild
permanently.
Someareleeryofleashes.
That'sonereasonparentingexpertandsocialpsychologistSusanNewmandoesn'tthinkleashesareaneffectivechildsafetytool.
Newmanistheauthorof"TheBookofNo:250WaystoSayItAndMeanIt"(McGrawHill,2005).
"AllofthemissingchildreninFloridawherearethesechildrenbeingtakenfrom?"Newmansaid."Really,itisn'tthisquestionofhaving
themleashedwhenthey'reoutinpublic."
Newmansaidleashingachildsendsa"loudandclear"messageoffear.
"Ithinkyou'reteachingyourchildtobepossiblyovercautious,"shesaid,"andthatasaparent,youareveryanxious.Asparents,weare
rolemodelsforourchildren,andkidspickupaparent'semotionaltemperature."
ForLoganIrizarry,hisleashisattachedtoasmallbackpackthathewears.Lewissaidhersonisn'tbotheredbyit.
"Hewasalittlebitcurious,like:'Whatisthisthingonmyback?Whycan'tIgettowhereIwanttogo?'"shesaid."Heneverreallyhad
anyoverlybadreactiontoit.Itwasmorelike,'Oh,OK,thisisallright.'"

TheleashmaybotherotherparentsmorethanitbothersLogan.LizZurnofMandarinhasa4yearoldson,Jack,whohasautismandis
pronetowanderingoff,buthedoesn'twearaleash.
"I'mveryopposedtoit,"saidZurn,30."It'sdegrading,verydegrading.Yourchildisnotapoodle."
Insteadofaleash,Jackwearsastickerthatstateshisnameandthefactthathehasautism.ThestickerincludesZurn'snameandphone
numbers.Zurnandhersonhaveacode,andwhenshecountstothree,heknowshe'stocometoher.
"Idon'treallyworryabouthimgettingkidnapped,"shesaid."Imean,allmomshavethatfear,butitisyourjobtowatchyourchild.Itis
myjobashismothertowatchhim."
BesidesleashesandastickerlikeJack's,atemporarytattooisanotheroptionforparents.SafetyTats(www.safetytat.com)canbe
personalizedwithaparent'scellphonenumberandofferparentsa"contingencyplan,"saidfounderMicheleWelshofBaltimore.
"It'sdefinitelyanalternative[totheleash],"shesaid."Itstillgivesthemfreedomtoroamandexplore,butitdoesn'tlimittheirmobility."
WelshandherfamilywereatanamusementparkoneLaborDayweekend,whencrowdswereattheirworst.
Insteadofleaving,Welshwrotehercellnumberonthearmsofherthreechildrenandtoldthemto"showanothermommyyourarm"if
theybecameseparated.
"Itdidn'ttakeawayallofmynerves,butitwasagoodbackupplan,"Welshsaid.
"Ofcourse,wewerewatchingthemlikehawks,butthiswasjustincase."
Thetattoosarealsocomfortingtothechild.Welshsaidhercompanyhasreceivedlettersfromparentswhosechildrenwereseparated.
"Theysay,thankstoyou,mychilddidn'tfreakout,"Welshsaid.
'Theyarenotanimals'
Discipline,Newmansaid,isattherootofchildleashesnotsafety.
"You'renotsettingforthanykindofstraightforwarddisciplineandbuildingrespectforwhatyouasaparentsay,"shesaid.
"Thischildisgoingtobetoobigforthatleashveryquickly,andthenyou'releftwithachildwhohasnorespectforyouwhenyousay,
'No,youcan'tdothis,''Stayclosetome'or'Youneedtoholdmyhand,'"Newmansaid.
JoanneSchultzofJacksonville,organizerofJacksonvilleFriendswithStrollers,saidsheseesseveralparentswholeashtheirchildrenin
public.
"Idoseesomewithinmygroup,andIbitemytongue,"Schultz,40,said."What'srightformemaynotberightforsomebodyelse,butit
reallyhurtsmetoseechildrenonaleash.AsIsaid,theyarenotanimals."
Lewisagreedthatshesometimesgetscommentsfromothermotherswhentheyseehersonwearingtheleash.
"Theysay,'Oh,Iseeyoukeephimcloseby,'andIsay,'Yes,'"shesaid."It'sjustoneofthosethings....Everyone'sgottheirownopinions
aboutparenting.Iknowthatthisisthebestsolutionforus.[Otherparents]canthinkwhatevertheywanttothink.Wejustgoaboutour
ownbusiness."