** Also, the main villain's name comes from combining syllable's of my [[AnnoyingYoungerSibling brother's]] name and the names

of two [[KidsAreCruel bullies from my childhood]]. * This troper made a story where the main female character is based on his brother's girlfriend; The fact that the main male character is seen as an author avatar makes this situation a little...Weird... * This troper has a two characters modeled after his brother. One is a more positive homage (even going so far as to use his name) while he would never admit to the other one being his brother to said brother's face because the character is kind of a pathetic agnstier version of my brother with some pretty bad character flaws. * This troper, for her first creative writing class, couldn't come up with a good idea for a story. So she came up with a dumb (but totally fictional) account of her and her best friend doing stupid college student things--with a few of our friends thrown in on the side, names changed. This didn't seem like such a big deal, and one of the characters--a blind guy, [[{{Irony}} trapped in the middle of a blackout]], was chucked in mostly for the sake of a joke. However, during the class comentary, one of the students in the class--who turned out to be someone this troper knew from middle school--said: "I think the secondary characters need more exposition. It's a bit disconcerting when 'Randy' is thrown in as a one-off joke, and yet I happen to know his hopes and dreams." Ouch. Owned. ** That's not irony. * Similar story: my first novel was set in my old high school and featured my real friends and teachers (with names changed). The novel was rejected for having too many {{FlatCharacter}}s -- because ''I'' knew them, I wasn't working hard enough on making their personalities and individual voices come across to the reader who wouldn't know them already. Since then, I've ''never'' been able to put someone I know into a story -- contrary to what non-writers often assume, writing people you know (and I mean ''really'' writing them, not just sticking their names on characters) can actually be ''harder'' than inventing characters. At any rate, it is for me. * This troper's OldShame consists of a handful of FanFics with blatant MarySue protagonists (though the naming thing is inverted because she took her Internet handle from the Sues rather than naming them after hers, but troper digresses...). The Sue factor has since decreased (she hopes), but for some reason, she has kept the naming convention and pieces of her personality in the characters (including one that molded ''itself'' to fit her life; said character was angsting over her father's death and a few months later...you can guess.). Although...this, too, is declining... Okay, troper admits it. She only ''used'' to [[WriteWhoYouKnow write who she knows]], and does so in moderation. But "used to" still counts, doesn't it? * This troper is writing a story which contains a character with traits from her older sister and best friend (who are polar opposites, but the traits chosen work well together), and the comic relief is based on her brother. Her brother didn't ''know'' this, and suggested she [[KilledOffForReal kill]] the comic relief off and make it funny. He now knows the character is based on him, but ''doesn't'' know that the character is set to [[TakingTheBullet Take The Bullet]] for a guy

caught in the HeelFaceRevolvingDoor. And [[MoodWhiplash it]] [[TearJerker isn't]] [[HeroicSacrifice funny]]. At least, this troper ''[[{{Narm}} hopes]]'' not. * [[@/JethroQWalrustitty This Troper]] ''isn't'' doing this, but is currently working out how to convince everyone of this fact, seeing some qualities of the protagonist character of his creative writing assignment... * [[@/{{Nomic}} This troper]] is sometimes quilty of this. Most notably a large number of the cast in a comic he's planning are based on people he knows or has known. Out of the three main chacarters, one is essentially this troper himself, another is a combination of two of his friends. The last one started out as two different characters, one of which was based on another friend, which he later combined to one character. * Two instances that [[@/XenusOregard I]] can recall. One is a story I made wherein the main character is an AuthorStandIn and his {{Nakama}} are several people I know in real life. Sad to say, my stand in character was a serious MartyStu at first, though some character development and a conveniently inconvenient ''death'' served to [[RescuedFromTheScrappyHeap rescue him from the Stu heap.]] The other is a deliciously metafictional variation wherein the ''main character'' does this, with his own AuthorStandIn for a story that he created. However, his own stand in is not even remotely a Stu, though his flawed character is [[WithGreatPowerComesGreatInsanity the]] [[SuperpoweredEvilSide very]] [[KnightTemplar least]] [[RealityWarper of]] [[TheEndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt his]] [[YourMindMakesItReal worries]]. * This troper once purposely, and with full understanding of how dorky it is, once wrote a 'EveryoneIsJesusInPurgatory' story. The downer ending (not everyone in Purgatory goes up) messed with his head for a LOOONG time. * In writing some of his fanfiction, this troper changed a few small but essential elements of one of the main characters to make him easier to writer for and relate to-namely, changing him from a Film student to an English major. This troper doesn't know anything about filmmaking and [[DidNotDotheResearch doesn't care to]], and so he altered it to something he was more comfortable with. More particularly, he's noticed that his protagonists share some of his own psychological hang-ups, most notably over the mixed-up reasons that motivate them on their chosen paths in life, and alternately feeling better on a certain subject, before they end up falling back to their old doubts and worries again once something sets them off. * This troper certainly hopes people don't think she's writing what/who she knows, as she seems to include a worrying amount of incest. * This troper plans on doing it for a MindScrew comic he has planned for another time. * This troper is partly guilty of this, in that just about all of the characters I've made are asexuals, just like me. * [[@/FurikoMaru This troper]] and her middle-school {{nakama}} used to do this for hours on MSN in little mini [=RPG=]s. My {{rival}} and I used to try to out-god-mode each other ([[RedOniBlueOni is it

possible for]] ''[[HotBlooded both]]'' [[RedOniBlueOni rivals to be the Red Oni?]]) while our far more sensible colleagues looked on, wondering no doubt how they managed to wind up hanging out with these two idiots. I've ended up origi-ficcing our adventures in more than one form over the years; the current version in the works has my fourteen-year-old self learning an {{aesop}} about acting like a TsundereSue and coasting on magic all the damn time. My current self gets cameos as the plot allows. * In a strange twist on this, this troper once wrote her best friend's [[ImaginaryFriend personal]] [[NotSoImaginaryFriend Harvey]] into a story. She's also written in a few friends and one of her younger brothers. And her early main characters, she will admit, were horrible [[MarySue Mary Sues.]] * Both played straight and averted in this troper's younger sister's unpublished novel (she has yet to send it for publication...unfortunately). While there were clear parallels between some of the characters and the surrounding area (this troper appears as a pretty much {{Flanderized}} version of himself), it's actually surprisingly good at avoiding this. * This troper was working on developing a character for a story set in a theatre. He was the typical flamboyant gay in the theatre, but he was [[EveryoneIsBi bisexual]]. I ended up meeting the real life version of him and sitting net to him in class for a full semester. The scary part was that they had the same exact quirks. (She has since re-drawn him to have similar facial features to the real one, proving this trope correct.) * Barely noticeable version: One of the vampires in my WIP-novel is an Episcopalian. * This troper wrote an OC character for a fanfic... and met a person with nearly the exact same personality two months later. Actually, I'm dating him now... hm. * When [[@/TromboneChild this troper]] writes a character that is a young girl, she almost always ends up as a fictionalized version of her younger sister. No matter how I try to make the character different, she always ends up being my sister, though I've done it on purpose a couple of times. * This troper's crazy made up universe involves a team of 5 superheroes. All of whom are based on my friends. * The Finnish murder mystery writer Eeva Tenhunen used to use really thinly disguised real people in her books. Many of which were from this troper's mother's family. Many were not amused (as in "How dares someone who barely knows us cast my aunt as the murderer and myself as a complete idiot?"), but bought the books exactly because of that. * This Troper based one of the villains in a short story of his off of someone he knew. Said person wasn't actually a bad person, just had some radical ideas. They were AffablyEvil. * This Troper works in customer service. She also writes/runs RPG scenarios at gaming conventions for fun. She will admit to casting moronic or jerky customers as minor bad guys in her games. Mature? Probably not. Enjoyable? You bet! * I once saw this to the extent that it became narm. In a play put on by some people in our drama group, all their names were the same as

the actor's. The personalities were slightly similar, but everytime they said each other's names we all just started laughing. * @/SteelKomodo is currently writing a story called ''[[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome Ninjas VS Knights]]'', which is ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin and stars characters based on his brother and friends. His ninja character is named [[MortalKombat Hornbuckle]], of all things, his best friend is a [[TheAlcoholic knight who gets drunk every five minutes]], and [[spoiler:there's going to be an evil reptillian sorcerer called Sauros [[XanatosGambit manipulating everything behind the scenes]]]]. Needless to say, I'm writing this [[UnderStatement very carefully]]. * Approximately seventy-five percent of [[Tropers/{{Dukia}} this troper]]'s characters directly mirror some aspect of herself. * [[Tropers/{{Ayla}} This troper]] has recently started a webcomic featuring herself and her best friend as the two main characters. She's renamed herself and her friend, but they both look exactly the same. The entire comic is made up of the two of us talking and making references to things such as Doctor Who, LOST, and Pokemon. Did I mention that we're obsessed fangirly geeks who met over the internet? I'm even taking most of the jokes/conversations from the actual messages we send to each other. * Every work [[Tropers/{{Pita}} I]] write has a CompleteMonster or JerkAssWithAHeartOfGold character based on my best friend, a (usually) gay (always) moron based on myself (a hetero with 153 IQ. Just saying, it's not a perfect author insert), and a female character who absolutely hates the first guy and has no patience for the second, usually serving some sort of near MarySue purpose, except that she is always uptight and panicky, and leads by herself to the [[DownerEnding downer endings]] I write, where if she just did what the first two did, the ending would be happy. I also kill off the me character usually. Time to plug my [[http://www.fanfiction.net/secure/story/story_edit_property.php?story id=5359261/1/ Animorphs self insert (please review)]]. * This troper has included several friends from high school as physical templates for a webcomic concept he's working on, with their permission. * This troper's guilty of this. In her current project, two characters are based off of friends of hers, one is based off of her boyfriend, and one has similar complexes as this troper (although they play out in different ways). * This [[@/{{Levatia}} troper's]] characters tend to take cues from her family, friends, and others (a lot of mutual internet pals, mostly). * Despite writing a number of wildly different settings, apparently all my first person pieces sound the same. * I'm sorta guilty of this. When I began writing my story I used people I knew as the basic models of each character (the main character is '''VERY''' loosly based on me, and the other main characters are based off 3 of my friends). But by this point they are starting to only vaguely resemble them in looks (plus, I added several characters who are nothing like anyone I've ever met). * Inadvertantly, one of my created commanding officers for his piece

of [[NintendoWars Advance Wars]] fanfiction has become this, with a little thought his characteristics match mine. He's all about getting things done quickly, efficiently and with as much violence as possible; I sometimes have pleasant daydreams about finding people who walk slowly on the streets and block my way and shooting them in the back of the head. He has problems with money management; my savings burn a hole in my pocket. He likes hard rock; I like hard rock. When I was coming up with the profile, I didn't consciously realise I was writing myself. Strangely, the image I have in my head for how he looks is nothing like me. * @/JillBug's unpublished novel basically features her sister as the heroine and troper herself as heroine's sister. The protagonist of her other unpublished novel is a combination of two of her cousins. * During a writing assignment at school, [[@/{{Morgie}} this troper]] had writers block. She wrote a story about having writer's block. ** I did the same thing once. In-story, my narrator considered doing a story about being in an exam writing a story (sorry, overusing That Word so much in that sentence) but decided against it, on the basis that it wasn't what you were Supposed To Write and she'd get yelled at. My English teacher marked it. I got yelled at. * I have self-esteem issues; namely, I'm very critical of anything I deem embarrassing or a mistake. When I was thinking of a flaw for a character in a story I'm writing, I pondered it for a while before I [[FridgeBrilliance realized]]: why not give her the same issues that I have? * The problem is that if I tried to write a character who is not as sarcastic, (half-way) clever and not heroic-good as me, I would outright hate them and kill them off soon. * This troper likes to write fanfics (Or, in most cases, {{CrackFic}}) of her group of friends. She even once managed to write a crack fic of a crack fic by writing an alternate ending to one where instead of the two characters dying, the blood of the narrator fell onto the (seemingly dead) love interest's lips, reviving her as a vampire. * This troper's stoner acquaintances provide her with a ''neverending'' supply of material. Try this one on for size: --> '''Stoner Acquaintance:''' ''(very high, holding a frightenedlooking pet chihuahua named Pancho)'' Fly to me, Pancho! FLY TO ME! Show me your teeth of righteousness! You may look itty-bitty, but you are so POWERFUL!! Let me EAT you so that I may gain your WISDOM and STREEEEENNNNNNGTH!! * [[@/SalFishFin This Troper]] both inverts and plays this straight in the same [[Fanfic/TheWarriorOfLove fanfic]]. The main character is the direct ''opposite'' of this troper, while a minor-but-stillrelatively-important character is This Troper, but a bit more BrilliantButLazy. Also, the two female leads are based on two girls I've had a crush on. * This troper played this horribly straight with her first book, which contained characters all based off herself and her close friends (which made things rather odd since that meant only about three people in a cast of 12 were boys...). She is trying very hard to avert this with her other stories, but it's...difficult to shake her own persistent dry sarcasm and bookishness. She's sort of resolved this by

having characters containing maybe one or two elements of her personality while at the same time still being very different. Even so, it's harder than she thought. * This troper often casts friends and acquaintances in minor roles if it seems likely they'd be in the area, and occasionally writes herself into the background of a scene. * [[Tropers/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] has created characters for his stories based on people he knew in real life. One of the earliest examples was one of the villains in a story that never got off the ground; who was actually friends with me at one time (However, everything changed when his dad became the leader of our Boy Scout group; suddenly, he could get away with anything he wanted to, and everybody who once paid no attention to him wanted to be his friend in hopes he can bail them out when they cause trouble). The character, whom I'll refer to as "Bob" from here on it, was much the same; he and the protagonist of the story began as a good friends, but one day Bob went missing. When he finally turned back up, he had become an evil mastermind; betraying his old friends and wrecking havoc on the city. However, the story was set to end with the discovery that he didn't just have a FaceHeelTurn on his own, but was instead under a mind control spell cast on him by a greater foe (Who they'd face in a later story in the series). * [[{{Tropers/Malph}} I]] slightly avert this. Of my 3 original stories only one of them has characters based on me or people I know (5 if you count custom characters from video games as me since 2 fan fics I'm writing have my character either as the lead role or as a side character). * Guilty as charged. Most of my stories have female protagonists who are [[ProudToBeAGeek nerdy]], [[AdultChild tact]][[IdiotHero less]], [[JumpedAtTheCall starved for excitement]], or a combination. If the protagonist is [[SpearCounterpart male]], he'll have a younger brother who frustrates him, but whom he protects and brings on crazy adventures anyway. (Some of the female protagonists also have younger siblings. If the protagonist doesn't, someone close to her/him will.) Anyone who has tried to hurt us or our friends is liable to be represented as some sort of monster. * Yep, [[Tropers/{{Dinru}} I'm]] guilty. In a [[DarthWiki/IWantToBeYourMoon video game]] I'm making, there's a GenkiGirl based off of a close friend, a HookerWithAHeartOfGold BrokenBird loosely based off of my own mother (although said mother was never a hooker), and the main character is based a little off of both [[AuthorInsert me]] and my boyfriend (although I'm trying hard to avoid making her a MarySue for that very reason). * This troper's best developed protagonists will usually be an introverted snarky/misanthropic teenager, have dark hair and green eyes, self-esteem issues and ongoing mental conflicts (usually addiction or misogyny). Bonus points if his name begins with [[AuthorAvatar D]]. Double-bonus if his longtime unrequited love begins with A. * This troper is so F'ing guilty of this. While I do put myself in the vast majority of my works, how I am written varies story from story. Either it is an [[LifeEmbellished embellished version of me]]

(depending on the universe my [[AuthorAvatar Author Avatar]] lives in) or it's me in all my socially-awkward nerdy glory. And I'm usually either the main or one of the main characters. (Terrible, I know :P) My friends make up the [[FiveManBand Five Man Band]] to a T so they usually get added in as the supporting cast. (However, very, very rarely are ALL of them in the same story) Beyond that, a good majority of the characters I make are original, usually villains and side characters, which I will admit are more fun to play around with. * In my first stories (aged about 8-10 years old) were always about me and my friends/family, with exactly the same names. Then I made some original characters, and if I added a character who was based on someone I knew, they would have a name that began with the same letter, although I did often write about people I know in this way, saying things about them that I wouldnt say in real life. Then I stopped making it so obvious who I was writing about. I still sometimes write about me and my friends, under our own names, imagining what it would really be like to do things that I write about. My latest story is a comic about my life...although some of it is not real, like several times Ive drawn people I dont like becoming zombies or getting killed. * The main characters in [[Literature/SpectrumRoads this story I'm working on]] are all based on my group of friends and I. It's easier to put people you know into a fictional setting, I think... * This troper has described himself as "one of the most boring people on the planet", what with regularly talking to about 10 people each week, so when he was in the process of creating the protagonists of his short story series, what he did was split his own psyche into different stages of what he considers his CharacterDevelopment and created a character (four total) based on each. * This troper's friend was once bemoaning how her villain didn't have much of a personality. On a whim, this troper suggested that her friend make this troper the villain. To her surprise, her friend took her suggestion. Now her friend's novel has a Brilliant but Lazy Genki Girl Cloudcuckoolander for a villain. I'm waiting to see what "my" motivation is. * I flat-out refuse to write who I know, although I might take a small quirk or character trait. * ThisTroper often creates a protagonist for a fiction piece by starting with himself, and gradually tweaking elements, [[OverlyLongGag adding, subtracting, melding, liquifying, sublimating, vaporizing, extruding,]] [[{{Flanderization}} amplifying]], and revising, until the final product [[InNameOnly only barely resembles the base.]] * This troper is writing a story with several characters based off of himself at different periods of his childhood. So far he has two happy, care free characters, one a Genre Savvy TV junkie, the other out of touch with reality, two extremely shy characters, one who always seems to be on the verge of tears with attachment issues, the other a quiet mama's boy, and two more characters, one who emotionally manipulates who cares for no one, the other a aggressive bitch with anger issues. Yes, some of the character traits are exagerated. * In comics I draw, most of the characters are OCs of my friends who

request to be in there. And one of my favorite OCs is based off myself when I was 10. * This Troper is currently making a small yaoi visual novel version of Red Riding Hood with his whole school as characters. And his 60 year old principal as the wolf. May I also mention that this troper is [[SelfInsertFic Red Riding Hood]] in the story? And that the "wolf" [[WalkingShirtlessScene isn't going to wear a shirt]] [[FanDisservice the whole time?]][[spoiler: Yes, I know it's disturbing but hey, it's what I like.]] * Most characters I create are based off my friends, classmates, etc. And most main characters are [[BrainyBrunette intelligent brown-haired girls]] with gray or blue eyes and psychological problems that arouse from their parent's lack of attention. * This troper, in a H P Lovecraft collection of stories he is writing, has one where he is the narrator. Of course, [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel I've not really been locked in a madhouse and been tormented by a daemonic voice while searching said madhouse, which is completely empty except for minor evidence of horrific murders committed by inhuman creatures, but the character version of me has]]. Ironically, this story was inspired by a dream I had, which is what the character tries to explain it away as being, despite the person making notes on what happened knowing from one of the other tales that it did actually happen. * After nearly three years, I can finally get back to work on the novel I started in my sophomore year of college. Nearly all of the people who are in the novel in some form or another have already graduated. However I will still have to censor or heavily edit some incidents and shenanigans for the sake of my friends' professional lives. * Ever since I joined my high school's theatre group, most of my stories have been about high school theatre kids, or at least had some random character just happen to be in theatre. In many cases, the characters are loosely, or occasionally not so loosely, based on me and my theatre friends. The worst example is about a girl who goes through almost the exact same bad experience I had with student directing, plus some random subplots that didn't actually happen to me. Another has one character who was supposed to be based on me but then developed her own personality, and another who was supposed to be more original but ended up more based on me. * This troper has a somewhat-unusual case. She has multiple (unfinished) stories, but all of the early ones have almost completely original characters. Recently, however, she has begun to play with this trope for (1) a story refined from a goofy self-insert daydream accidentally paralleling a few of my life experiences, (2) an AfterTheEnd tale cast near-entirely with people I know [[RuleOfFun for the heck of it,]] and (3) a few random [[TheLibby girls]] becoming murder victims with barely three lines if they're lucky. * This troper's mother runs a professional theater troupe for people with disabilities. Therefore, it's generally practical that she writes parts specifically for her actors, who are such colorful characters themselves. ----

Hey, is it okay if I [[WriteWhoYouKnow put you in my story?]] ---<<|TroperTales|>>

WritingByTheSeatOfYourPants ---* This Troper usually has in mind a beginning, an ending and two or three middle scenes. The rest is "hmm, and if I made [Character] do [Activity] before he gets to [Middle Scene]? That would be AWESOME! Let's do it!". * This is how most of [[{{Tropers/Aspie}} this troper's]] fanfics were written, even before he discovered the glorious project that is NaNoWriMo. In fact, they still are. While there usually is a plot and everything is coherent, he rarely takes time to do any kind of revising until ''after'' writing a chapter and posting it. His work has been called "random" more than once. It also results in a lot of [[DeadFic dead fics]], especially if I have to stop writing for days on end to do school work. (Like the one I'm working on now, although I've resolved that I'll eventually get back to it and not let it become a DeadFic.) * This troper likes writing, but, if he has to plan anything, his enthusiasm fades (and he rarely follows the plot he's written anyway), so [[CursedWithAwesome he has to write like this]]. He has actually suceeded in writing 160 pages of a novel before his enthusiasm completely faded (it also didn't help that he found it crap while reading back through it). * This troper when writing essays for English Literature. Pseudointellectual, stream-of-consciousness crap which still gets good marks (except my teacher marks me down for structure...). I don't think he figured out that I was writing complete nonsense until I explicitly told him so, but even then he didn't actually care. * [[@/LadyNorbert This troper]] uses this expression often to describe her creative process, and was surprised to find it's actually the name of a trope. * When not writing a parody, but an original story, this troper usually makes it up as he goes. There are some ideas he comes up with to be implemented later, but for the most part, it's improvised. * [[Tropers/SanaMae *waves*]]. I usually have a few ideas, mostly for backstory and the occasonal scene that was so awesome but needed a story to go wth it, but other than that I just make shit up. Apparantly people who read my work can tell whether it was planned or not by the amount of PlotHoles I leave, though. * This troper is an inversion. She read so many rants on plot holes and continuity failure that she became anal retentive and now plans most everything, even her fanfictions, right down to possible dialogue, overarching themes, possible sequels, and chapter composition. Strangely, the few times she does improvise, her stories get more reviews. * This is (sort of) how [[Tropers/{{Mort08}} I]] write my fanfiction. I start with the beginning and the ending, then the basic framework of the story follows. I make up most of the actual content as I write,

and it often leads me towards new plot points. ---I made up this link to the [[WritingByTheSeatOfYourPants main page]] in the last three seconds, without any kind of planning. Have fun. ----

WritingLines * GracieLizzie didn't like PE much growing up, it was cold, outdoors PE and she was a rather unsporty child. She actually preferred writing lines as she got to stay inside in the warm instead. So she used to "forget" her PE Kit on purpose. * I recall a punishment like this in my 6th grade class, but I don't remember what the line was and the requirements to be punished with it. [[CrazyPrepared I also wrote some of the lines with my free time to turn in if I ever got punished with it,]] but I never had to use it. * This troper's chemistry teacher has distinct pleasure in making the longest, most convoluted sentences for his students to write. They generally turn out paragraph-sized in length. Barely anyone forgets to bring their textbook to class anymore. ** Ditto for this troper's English teacher. * This troper used to get this occasionally in middle school. The teachers stopped doing it once she went to Grammar school because it's not much of a punishment and it doesn't work; it's just boring. * Holy ''eff'', does this troper's mother love this trope. * When punished by being forced to write lines, this troper programmed a computer to do it for him. * Used to have to write thousands, sometimes tens of thousands of lines by my father. Literally, 20, 30,000 lines wasn't particularly egregious as a punishment. Yay for bipolar parental figures. He resorted to this after he figured out the beatings weren't working. * This troper had to write lines a few times in junior high, but found various ways to make the task semi-interesting, such as writing each word or phrase in a column down the page, or attempting to write lefthanded and backwards like LeonardoDaVinci. * This troper has teachers who assigned it to the whole class as a group punishment ensuring that no one would ever respect them again. This troper wrote it in a way that showed that he was clearly pissed. The pencil wrote in holes in the paper. It also gave me a hatred of their authority and likely so did everyone else. Given the usual lack of care combined with his usual bad writing he would write them with two hands at once. * Writing lines had largely fallen out of vogue by the time this troper encountered the life-changing institution that is Catholic education, but written punishments were still alive and thriving. We tended to get one of two: copying dictionary definitions (popular among the English-teaching set), or writing essays about our ill behavior and its consequences. * This troper's Grade 7/8 French teacher only handed out lines for one infraction: chewing gum in her classroom. For this, the guilty party would be ordered to write "Je ne macherais jamais la gomme dans la

salle de classe de francais, ni dans l'ecole" ("I will never chew gum in the French classroom, nor in school"). The number of repetitions was determined by taking the date of the infraction and adding sufficient zeroes to make it a 3-digit number. Suffice to say, no one in their right mind chewed gum on the 9th of any given month. * This troper's middle school band teacher would make you write lines ("I will not forget my clarinet") if you forgot your instrument. We all cheated by writing it in columns (a column of ''I''s, a column of ''will''s, etc.)... so he thwarted it by making the sentence so long that it wrapped to another line. ("I will always remember to bring my clarinet to band class.") ** Faced with this trick, I shrank my (already small) handwriting after a few lines to fit it all on one line and then wrote in columns as usual. * When this troper forgot to bring a book to school, her teacher made her write "I will not forget my book" on sheets of A4 papers during the whole lesson. This troper had much fun writing everything else she could think of from the second page and on, such as "This is really really boring" or "I wonder what we're having for lunch", because she doubted the teacher was going to read it. She hasn't been caught yet. * This troper got in a battle of wills with an English teacher over a school-mandated "study skills" policy. He's an auditory learner and note-taking actually reduces the effectiveness of class lessons, but good luck getting this point past a bureaucrat. Finally, the teacher forced him to write "I will take good notes in class and present them to the teacher every day", ten college-ruled pages worth. Sensing a CouchGag, this troper wrote "I will sabotage my education by following rules", five college-ruled pages worth, followed by "I will prove my teacher's incompetence with my grades", five college-ruled pages' worth. With a little help from Mom this troper was shortly thereafter exempted from the rules (Mom cited state law about "special needs" students, a dirty but effective trick.) * This troper once had to copy two pages from the dictionary as punishment in elementary school. Afterward, she asked for more. She's been reading Webster's recreationally ever since. * Tropers/RedWren had a teacher acting as a substitute one week during homeroom. (She had had five or so teachers that year excluding subs, but that's a story for another tale.) You were allowed to do homework in homeroom, but if you lacked a recreational reading book, you instead had to copy the pages in your school handbook about which punishments were for which actions until the end of class. If you were missing yours, you had to borrow someone else's, and if you had already done some, you picked up where you had left off. What would happen if the class didn't have enough or if you finished all ten pages was never addressed. The papers were never checked, but everyone was so annoyed and tired of the various stuff that they just wrote slowly instead of writing something snarky. * {{Pikachukid}} recalls a variant: his Grade 2 teacher simply had the class simply write out the word "manners" a predetermined number of times on one of the smaller chalkboards. ** Another variant was common in his high school: students in need of discipline would occasionally be made to write out (in whole or in

part) the school's code of behaviour (then known as a "One-to-nine", now slightly modified). I didn't really receive it enough times to know how well it aided reading comprehension. * When this Troper was around 9-12 years old, it was forbidden to go behind his school's additional classroom buildings. Being slightly less athletic than his classmates, he got caught quite often, and had to write lines as a punishment. * This troper was assigned to write lines afew times. Of course, this happened in a music room, so people would write their lines five at a time. * I've heard tell of a man in paramedic school, who after delivering a (thankfully non-lethal) jolt to a fellow student with a defibrillator, had to stay after and write "I will not electrocute my classmates" on the board a hundred times. * This troper actually did this in ''WorldOfWarcraft''. Because he lagged and didn't know that the flame wreath was up and he wound up moving into the flames, half the raid got pwned. So the guild leader said he had to repeat, "[[http://shadeofaranchant.ytmnd.com/ I will not move when flame wreath is cast or the raid blows up]]" in raidchat until I understand. However it is important to point out that he did this in jest - Since you didn't ''HAVE'' to do it, only if you wanted to be funny. :P * This Italian troper had to do it during grade school. Given the lack of a purpose for this trope, other than [[MindRape brainwashing you into behaving well]], my teacher just put my homework (written on paper) under her desk, ''without even reading it.'' A teacher at junior high school then did the same: I had to repeat something only 10 times. [[TemptingFate Easy stuff,]] [[NotSoFastBucko you say?]] [[SadistTeacher Try with a]] '''''[[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING]]''''' ''[[RefugeInAudacity BOOK CHAPTER!]]'' If I ever get to meet that teacher, I'll greet her with a "[[NeverLiveItDown You owe me a weekend.]]". * [[LullTheConqueror This troper]] was regularly assigned essays of varying lengths (generally, the topic was "What I Have Done Wrong And Why I Won't Do It Again") for infractions. Once, he got a 500-word one for something particularly {{egregious}}, and delivered it as a stream-of-consciousness rant about his teacher being a "Commie-Nazi", including praise for his own oppressed heroism, and a couple of sections that were just long quotes from Weird Al Yankovic songs. Of course, when he turned it in... the teacher read it and accepted it, because it was ''[[RefugeInAudacity hilarious]]''. * In my last year of school (I was 18) the teachers finally caught onto the fact that we were 18 years old, and were chilling out by reading / doing homework in detention so they started getting us to write essays. I used to write long stream of consciousness tirades, sneaking sentences like: all work and no play makes jack a dull boy, various insults to teachers and such. No human could ever make it past the first page, especially with my terrible handwriting, so I knew I was safe. God I kind of miss being in detention every week. Made me feel like a rebel. * This troper's high school biology teacher had a poster of [[TheSimpsons Bart]] with various NoodleIncident lines, and whenever

someone was assigned to write lines, they could choose one off the poster. Eventually, though, "Goldfish don't bounce" was no longer allowed... * This troper's secondary school has something called a "punishment exercise". One side is forum where your name gets written, the teacher writes what you've done, and then your parent has to sign it. On the other, there's a paragraph from the school rules, and a space below for you to copy it out. I recived one basically for being unable to understand the work. I wrote each word horrible handwritting, upside down, backwards, or inside out, that nobody could tell I'd secretly mocked all the rules. ** I also scrunched it up and threw it on the teachers desk. Funnily enough, I didn't recive any more punnies in that class. * [[{{Tropers/Ventisia}} This Troper]] used to go to an incredibly annoying daycare from fourth to fifth grade. She was stuck in with the highest age group, which consisted of kids from... about second grade and up, meaning that there were irritating little brats running around, and incompetent "teachers." This place made me write lines for my first and only time- we were forced to watch TheSoundOfMusic (not a bad movie, but when you're FORCED to watch it...), and I fell asleep. Evidently my younger brother and friend did too, as we were all rudely awakened and made to write lines. I made it go faster by writing each line one letter at a time ("I, I, I, I... w,w,w,w... i,i,i,i... l,l,l,l... and so on). It still sucked. * Subverted by my physics teacher last year. There was this one girl in my class who would always forget her books, chew gum, play on her phone, and so forth. He would give her essays to write instead of lines, reasoning that since she was so smart it would be pointless to make her write lines and he should encourage her to think instead. This girl being utterly incorrigible, it didn't work. ---You must return to WritingLines.\\ You must return to WritingLines.\\ You must return to [[RuleOfThree Writing Lines]].\\ You must return to WritingLines.\\ You must return to WritingLines.\\ You must return to [[RunningGag Writing Lines]].\\ You must return to WritingLines.\\ You must return to WritingLines.\\ You must return to [[OverlyLongGag Writing Lines]].\\ ---<<|TroperTales|>>

WrongGenreSavvy * From Tabletop [=RPGs=]: ** This troper once made a character that was an old granny who worked in a shop, only to find herself in an action where she needed fighting skills to get by. ** This troper has also seen the opposite, where someone made an action character with an impressive arsenal of weapons for a game that

turned out to have no action whatsoever. * This troper has a friend who when I start talking about tropes constantly thinks he's going to be the comic relief guy who gets killed. He doesn't seem to realize we're in Art school and thus in more of a Romantic Comedy/Drama than a Horror movie. * @/DoctorWorm experienced this hard in an ''{{Exalted}}'' campaign. The setting was our world, about 10 years in the future, when people start Exalting. My character, an Abyssal, had been experiencing visions of a titanic figure in [[ColorCodedForYourConvenience black]] [[SpikesOfVillainy spiky]] [[TinTyrant armor]], which I (out-ofcharacter) knew was obviously the First and Forsaken Lion, one of the main antagonists of the setting. [[spoiler:Imagine my surprise when I discovered that this was not in fact the Lion, but ''the [[BigGood Unconquered Sun]]'', heavily corrupted by the Wylds.]] Yes, it turned out that [[spoiler:my blood-drinking undead warrior was working for the good guys]]. * My GM got mad at me for this one. I've been playing video games much longer than tabletop games, and I couldn't help noticing similarities between the party's current situation and the Legend of Zelda games. As such, I had my character act as those games taught me to, and I noted this. It turns out it was very, very different, and my GM told me this. Otherwise, we wouldn't have gone very far (I was the tank, so I would have to go first). * In a Naruto RP / Fanfic of mine, Saga Doshi thinks he is in a grim and gritty Seinen Manga where his actions are acceptable. Really, Saga? * My dad managed to watch the entirety of Saw under the impression that it was a standard mystery film. * In a Pathfinder game, we attributed a description of rumbling and rocks falling to the structure crumbling, due to us dispatching what we reasoned had been a [[LoadBearingBoss Load-Bearing Boss]]; in fact, the fallen foe was simply going [[OneWingedAngel One-Winged Angel]] on us. We ran from the not-actually-crumbling structure, in what we thought was a clean getaway in an Indy Jones-esque action sequence...and missed the last chance to slay an evil dracolich-god before it was reborn on the material plane. Basically, we *LOST* the campaign at the last possible second. In retrospect, all the filthy dungeons, blood-engorged abominations, rotting diseases and Faustian deals up until that point really should have told us this final fight was going to be a tad darker. ---Go back to WrongGenreSavvy. ----

WrongNameOutburst * This troper's boyfriend occasionally does this when they're having a fight. Nothing has ever brought us closer to a breakup than him calling me his ex's name. Fortunately it normally only happens when he's been drinking and I'm being irrational. * When this troper gets in trouble, her mom yells "SAM!" first, instead of Leanna. It's actually rather comforting, since it proves

that my brother gets in trouble more often than I do. * This troper's best friend once accidentally called me "Megan" (his sister's name) instead of my real name. The funniest bit? A few weeks later, ''I'' accidentally called ''him'' by my brother's name. If that's not proof we are LikeBrotherAndSister, I really have no clue what is... * This troper had an instance of this with her sisters. My teenage younger sister is usually the one who annoys me, and the one whose name gets brought up when I finally snap. One night, it was my baby sister being annoying. After putting up with her antics for a good ten minutes, I finally grabbed her hands and yelled "Ugh, Mariah!" (My teenage younger sister's name). My mom was sitting on the couch and gave me the oddest look before cracking up. * My family loves this trope, especially my dad. One particularily egregious example involves him calling me by my sister's name, our dog's name, my brother's name, his ''own wife's name,'' our cat's name, and then just settling for [[CrowningMomentOfFunny "whoever you are."]] ** My dad calls my dog by my name, and calls me Finn (my dog's name). I should probably be offended. * I had a weird habit of calling my ex-best male friend by my sister's name by accident. It got to the point where he would say "If you call me Hayley one more time I'll punt you" (something along those lines). * My grandmother,almost all the time. When referring to either my sister or [[{{nekoalexa}} me]], she will call us by my aunt's and my mother's names, respectively (weird thing is, I'm the oldest sister, as is my aunt). When referring to my younger cousin, my grandma'll go down the list of my cousin's three older brothers, then finally arrive at her name. * I used to have the habit of calling anyone who was annoying me by my sister's name. It's probably not a coincidence that I was often annoyed enough with my sister to shout her name in exasperation. I don't do this anymore, and I get along much better with my sister, also probably not a coincidence. * Any boy of the appropriate age who acts up when [[Tropers/{{Ladygem}} This troper]] is babysiting is likely to be called by her brother's name. * Any children who have older siblings who went to the same school will get this. My little sister gets called my name by teachers all the time. * I have lost count of how many times my mother has called me by my older brother's name whenever I did something... or called my sister by my brother's name followed by mine. It's like she just goes down the list of children knowing she'll get it right eventually. * This troper has, on several occasions, been called by his father's name, his aunt's, mother's, uncle's, dog's, grandparent's dog's, (both of them), wife's, and finally 'whichever one you are.' * This troper's grandparents do this all the time. It doesn't help that he has over a dozen male cousins and a younger brother. If it takes one of them more than two tries to get my name right, they just settle for "You know who you are!" * This troper can't count times, when her teachers/parents/parent's

friends called her by her sister's name. * [[{{Tropers/Anderling}} This Troper]]'s grandmother is 91 and can therefore be excused from this, but it still happens. My mother (Yvonne, or "Von" for short) is called "Jo Jon Von" (pronounced "yo", "shh-'o' as in 'cold'-n", same as "Jon" but with a 'v'). Troper herself, despite having an uncommon (to Dutch standards) name, has been called the right name for all but one occasion, where grandma called me "Jacqueline", my cousin's wife's name. My name is Gwen(dolyn). * [[Tropers/{{Smerf}} This]] troper and two of his friends all have names that begin with B. This has led to two of our female friends calling us by the wrong name. This, in turn, lead to them renaming us: I am now called Nigel. * My parents, babysitter ''and'' teachers call me by my brother's name before correcting themselves. Admitedly, I'm a bit too similar to him (same hairstyle and fairly similar color, same eye color, similar build and both of us wear glasses), so it's not that important. Blueace. * My grandmother frenquently circles through names as she yells at someone. I have been called by my grandfather's name, my father's and the ''dog's''. On occasion, I have to restrain myself from calling my brother by his screen-name. * Since childhood I've been referred to as Susan, Sarah, Stef, Mary, Kirsten, Priscilla, Orla, Rachel etc. by my family members. I'm (biologically) male. ** In an unrelated incident, my girlfriend on one occasion, shortly after we started dating, had a wrong-name outburst where she cycled through the names of three of her exes and her cousin. The most impressive thing? The first ex she said actually has the same name as me. * This Troper's foster parents tends to say the name of either his current housemate or his former roommate, before switching to his name mid-word, depending on my behavior at the time. He's usually referred to by the housemate's name when he's arguing with her over something he doesn't find fair (as the housemate is known for [[{{Jerkass}} usually having an "I don't like you and don't care about nor want to hear anything that has anything to do with you" attitude]]), and the former roommate when he's done an unusually exceptional job at something (as the former roommate was the total opposite of the {{Jerkass}} housemate) * I'm Elisa, my brother is Robert. My mom usually ends up calling for "Robelisa"... whoever that is. Sad thing is, both of us have become accustomed to responding to it. * This troper frequently does it with his neices, who he has three of. * Minor example. My in-laws call me David by mistake a lot. I am Dave, but my mother-in-law's long-time boyfriend is David. My wife is quick to correct them. * Due to [[@/{{Hammerhead}} my]] mom always having been somewhere [[TakeAThirdOption inbetween]] [[GeniusDitz Genius Ditz]] and [[DitzyGenius Ditzy Genius]], and deciding to name her two children Aaron and Ellen, this is something I've had to deal with for as long as I can remember.

----Go back to NamesTheSame! Wait, I mean, go back to WrongNameOutburst. -----

WTHCastingAgency * This Troper somewhat plays with this Trope. She is 'always' cast as serial killers, insane ladies or femme fatales just because she dresses in black and wears heavy make-up. The thing is she's actually a calm, happy person who has the face features of a ten-year-old. * This troper once attended a variety showed hosted, produced, directed and starring two people and a handful of others. The leading lady was a remarkable dancer, as was the male lead. Their acting was...okay. Their singing...let's just say, this troper was at one of their BETTER shows. * [[LadyBealzabub This troper]] in theatre in High School usually played bumbling idiots and was the one that was usually cast when comedic slapstick was needed. However, I was cast a villainous DepravedHomosexual EvillyAffable [[CrosscastRole male]] serial killer in a Murder Mystery original play by one of my classmates for a one act play festival. [[BetterThanItSounds I actually freaked a TON of people out and very few recognized me. IT WAS AWESOME.]] ... and eventually lead me to playing [[LittleShopOfHorrors Orin Scrivello]] and [[SweeneyTodd Mrs. Lovett]] in community theatre. ** There was also the color blind casting in my High School's production WestSideStory. * Not a theater example, but we were supposed to do films about S.E. Hinton's TheOutsiders for a school project. What people do we have to recreate the frighteningly realistic depictions of gang life in the book? A bunch of GenkiGirls who don't even have the slightest idea of what it's about. As you'd imagine, it didn't work. [[OldShame AT ALL]]. * This Troper absolutely cracked up at the stunt his alma mater pulled when putting on ''Guys and Dolls''--having the role of Big Jule played by a boy who was less than five feet tall and quite frankly didn't even look old enough to be in the high school. He nailed the character just fine, but it was great to see what is supposed to be this hulking, physically imposing character as the smallest one on the stage. ** Durazno: Back in HS, I was Big Jule alongside a Nathan Detroit who had three inches and about fifty pounds on me. It was especially fun because I'd been Krojack to his Walter in ''Don't Drink the Water'' the previous semester. The director tried his hardest to avoid typecasting us after that. * Being a shy geeky type who doesn't get many girls, [[{{Ronfar}} This troper]] was rather surprised to be cast as [[http://snltranscripts.jt.org/02/02qrush.phtml a Cassanova-ish character in a comedy sketch]]. Completely cast against type, there was only one thing he could think of to do: act extremely laid-back, imitating other people pretending to be high on marijuana. Apparently,

it worked. * This troper was once cast as Tiny Tim in "A Christmas Carol". This troper is six-foot-two. ** Was it for hilarious irony, or were the casters blind? *** Probably irony. (Not the same troper, just so you know) [[Tropers/{{Animenutcase}} This troper]] had an underclassman that was really tall. His nickname was "Tiny". * [[{{Quillpaw}} This troper]] has a friend who has recently been cast as Frollo in The Hunchback of Notre Dame- a character known for his deep, commanding voice. Said friend is still going through puberty, IfYouKnowWhatIMean. * In middle school (think around twelve or thirteen years old if you're unfamiliar with the US school system), I had a teacher who did a play with her class every two or three years. To psych us up for her idea of doing a stage version of "Beauty and the Beast," which had just come out, she showed us a tape of her last play. They did "Little Shop of Horrors." And oh my. For [[ManEatingPlant Audrey II]], who's performed by a [[EvilSoundsDeep menacing bass]] in the film and many stage versions, she cast some little blonde girl who ''chirped'' "Feed me, Seymour!" in the perkiest voice you can imagine. Audrey I's boyfriend, [[DepravedDentist Orrin Scrivello, DDS]]? A scrawny little slip of a kid whose voice kept cracking and who had trouble getting his leather jacket off. ** That particular type casting for [[ManEatingPlant Audrey II]] (We actually had a GenkiGirl Audrey II...) was what happened a production [[LadyBealzabub I]] was in. [[BetterThanItSounds It was actually really, REALLY disturbing.]] * One of the professors at this troper's college has a habit of WTH Casting. Sometimes it works out just fine (this troper's been on the other end of it a few times and likes to think that she pulled it off), and sometimes it... doesn't. * This Troper's school has a small event titled Senior Directed OneActs, which is basically Exactly What It Says On The Tin. Last year, this Troper, then a junior, got cast under a senior that she particularly disliked. But because this was her first time doing the One-Acts, she basically kissed some butt. Our senior director chose a skit called Serial Killer Barbie. The casting called for one brunette and 3 blondes. She cast one brunette (moi) and 3 blondes. But instead of doing the cheapest thing and casting us by hair color, This Troper was cast as a blonde and her blonde friend as the brunette. I had to wear a Hannah Montana wig and she had to spray-dye her hair for a day. I have never forgiven the humiliation of the Hannah Montana wig and was all too willing to donate the damn thing to the costume dept. in hopes of never seeing it again. * A friend of this troper was pegged by her elementary school music teacher to play a gentle Chinese girl in the annual Christmas program. Said friend is neither gentle nor ''remotely'' Asian. Apparently, the teacher ''forgot'' that the character had lines, even a ''whole song'' spoken entirely in Chinese, because when this troper asked her about it, she just looked mildly surprised. Now all I can do is headdesk when I think of that play. It was awkward, and just... yeah. * This male troper was head runner in getting the role of Frosty the

Snowman in an elementary school adaptation of the 1976 Rankin/Bass cartoon "Frosty's Winter Wonderland." Know who I eventually lost it to? A fat, black GIRL! * [[{{LordArkea}} This troper]], an Acting Student, tried out for [[HighSchoolMusical High School Musical]] On Stage. Into the first person: Not because I wanted to, because I had to. I ended up getting a part. Understand this: I am very, ''very'', white. And I am a gigantic nerd. Who was I cast as? Chad. I find out later on, Chad is a stereotypical ''black'' character. And a ''JOCK.'' When I turned down the role, one of my friends got the part instead. ''He is as white as I am''. I understand, when your an acting student, you have to act out of your element, but that's just a tad ridiculous. * This troper's middle school suffered from a severe case of PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad. When the drama deparment said "We do not type-cast", what it actually meant is "We will cast a black kid as the white lead, and the son of the head of the PTC as the co-star." The PTC head's son, to put it bluntly, was a fat, smug prissy type. The roles he got to play were Huckleberry Finn (TomSawyer) and Fagin (OliverTwist). He didn't look, sound, or act the parts. The third year he was cast as The Mayor in ByeByeBirdy, where he did look the part and did a great job. This troper, however, remains bitter because the fat prissy kid was his prime competition for roles in the plays and solos in the chorus. And yes, the fact that his mom was the head of the PTC was the deciding factor every.single.time. * We had a showcase of original student-written plays in my art school last year. For the play that I had written, the attractive girl who usually played the ValleyGirl or the {{libby}} was cast as the mother of the two main characters, after the girl who usually plays the mother role turned it down. However, this pales in comparison to the amazing stunt casting that was done for another play. The play was a commentary on discrimination because of sexual preference, and was set in a ''VForVendetta''-style future, where there is a television show dedicated to making fun of gays on live TV. The nicest, most normal guy in class played the crazy, evil, cross-dressing host of the show and the nicest, most normal girl in class played his bitchy, slutty assistant. Everyone was utterly shocked and impressed at how well they had pulled off the PlayingAgainstType casting. ** Same Troper's school has a rather disproportionate ratio of about one male student for every three female students, so we had a case of "reverse Elizabethan/Greek theatre" casting, where girls would play roles intended for boys. In our production of ''RomeoAndJuliet'', more minor male characters such as Tybalt, Mercutio and the servants Gregory, Sampson and Peter were played by girls. They handled the fencing pretty well. * [[Tropers/{{cheeseypoofs}} this troper's]] HighSchool production of {{Seussical}} is currently turning out to be a bit of a casting mess. They cast a 5'8" baritone to play a young child, and a guy almost nobody likes to play Horton, and various AttentionWhores along the way, amongst other things. Albeit, the casting problems might be solved because half of the cast has quit. * This not even remotely threatening troper auditioned for Chip in our school's production of Beauty and the Beast. I got Monsieur D'Arque

(the creepy old man who runs the asylum). Subverted in that I [[EvilIsHammy had an absolute ball]] and turned out to be rather creepy. * I dropped out of a show I really wanted to be in because of this. The two main singing roles went to a guy who's voice was... not good yet (he improved after puberty was over) and a girl who hadn't wanted the part to begin with because she knew she was tone deaf (she dropped out immediately). The role of the princess should have been a WTF. This role was originally played by Carol Burnett, and is not supposed to look like a traditional princess. The girl who was cast for our version? Tall, long curly blonde hair, big blue eyes, pretty- with a Broadway belter's voice and comic timing to die for. Not that her talents are why she got the role, which annoyed her. It worked out okay in the end, but it was in spite of the idiots casting it. * This troper got one when he was cast as Ghengis from Dracula Spectalula (for the curious, Ghengis is a vampire who is also Dracula's butler). I normally play minor characters or chorus (and never an evil character). I think I chewed a bit too much scenery in that role, but it was great fun. Similarly, a friend of mine got the role of Renfield during a school performance of Dracula, a far cry from his less evil roles in previous plays. * This troper has very down-on-her-luck casting experience at auditions and has several tales to entertain you with: ** When her local theatre put on a production of "Little Women" this troper was cast as a society girl with two lines in what was essentially a BigLippedAlligatorMoment. And the girl who was cast lead as young Jo could not act at all. Her voice was soft, she mumbled, put no emotion into her lines, and seemed really out of the part. Same situation with young and older Beth. And young Laurie had a Southern accent in a play that was supposed to take place in the north. Also, the younger and older counterparts of the characters looked nothing alike. I swear, Meg went from 15 to 35 in the two year span and the skinny younger girls um... really let themselves go? *** This troper later found out that young Jo was related to one of the directors at the theatre, young Beth and young Laurie went to a camp held by another one of the directors, young Amy was related to a theatre patron, and older Meg was doing makeup and hair for the play so she had to be cast. She almost thinks that the only reason the director casted her was because he wanted to borrow a shitload of her furniture for the set. ** This troper auditioned for "Our Town" at a local theatre and did some research on their past productions to see if they were any good. So she went to their website and saw the cast list consisted of the same faces for every play, including one guy who had been cast in prominent roles SEVEN TIMES. Undeterred she went to the audition and was once again turned down so the same faces could be cast in the play. To say there were politics is the [[{{Understatement}} understatement of the year]]. *** She then found out that the guy who'd been cast seven times had parents who a major patron to the theatre and very involved financially. So he and his sister get frequently cast there and this troper has walked away in shame.

** At her most recent play she auditioned for wanted a sweet, innocent looking and sounding girl to play the part she was auditioning for. So, being wide-eyed and high voiced, she thought she had a good shot. They casted a girl with a very deep voice, who didn't scream "INNOCENCE!" It didn't help that the girl had tell my whole class the next about the play she got the main role in and how everyone should come out and see it. Facepalming ensued. ** Consequently, this and many other failed auditions have led her to become a [[AccentuateTheNegative very bitter]] auditionee. * Look Here: [[http://bzpcomics.wikia.com/wiki/Philipnova798%27s_Comic_Factory_The_ Movie-_Attack_of_Dr._Madness#Cast One of the cast is not like the others]] (In case you're wondering, it's the actress playing Dawn, if you've been on Newgrounds or played Castle Crashers, you may recognize that voice, and this movie isn't even released yet *Voice acting and animation need to be completed*). Though it's worth noting that I play tons of characters thanks to my vocal range. * This troper was in a drama class in which seventh and eighth grade students were grouped together (this was the first year that this happened). The eighth graders were more mature and as a result, better actors. However, the teacher (who was incompetent as a teacher and an utter hack as a director) always played favorites and gave all of the good parts to the seventh graders or whoever was popular. This ended making for some bizarre casting choices and poorly acted travesties of plays. Also, the teacher had a personal grudge against me (starting simply because I liked Michael Moore's movies) but that's another story. * This troper took part in a high-school Shakespeare production, in which the lead role went to the best actress we had--a short, cute, slightly nerdy romantic who basically ''was'' [[RomeoAndJuliet Juliet]]. The play was ''RichardIII''. It was...interesting (but a lot of fun). * If the movie this troper is currently writing ever gets made, and if she has a say in the casting of said movie, she will wholeheartedly recommend GeneWilder for the role of ''[[BadassBiker an aged biker.]]'' ---Sheesh, who picked ''this'' moron to lead you back to {{WTH Casting Agency}}? <<|TroperTales|>>

XanatosRoulette * Subversion as in some games, I will usually plan on how to make an attack that deals massive damage through a sequence of actions only to find out that there's usually only ''one'' thing wrong in my plan with no fix. Another subversion, I sometimes will make plans for some things, only to realize that everything I planned is pretty much already set up. I guess I'm a subconscious chess master. ** In games, this troper always does that. In a memorable moment

against a particularly hard boss, I attempted to pull some ridiculous roulette that involved me wasting a bunch of items, switching out regularly, and counting on my opponent not using a certain move while others on my team did some vague actions to [probably] help the plan along, until that move screwed the plan over and I was forced to use a different move while attempting to [[XanatosSpeedChess concoct another stupid plan]]....which immediately [[CurbStompBattle killed]] my opponent. [[{{Understatement}} I was a little piqued.]] * You should watch any game that me and my friends play. Don't even get us near Monopoly. My plan is "Buy property A, G, H, and I, trade A for B, trade B for C, buy D, trade D and C for E and F, trade E & F for money, build houses on G, H, and I." Pretty fun to watch the GambitPileup when everyone has these plans.... * In a KingdomHearts RP this troper is a member of, there is a bad guy named Wu Cangde who is out to make sure that there is a war between light and dark so he can make a "haven" and make himself look good enough to lead the Haveners...right up until he would use them as sacrifices to awaken Primal Darkness, which is itself necessary for Wu's plan to revive his wife, which was step one in a scheme to become a God...which was just to keep his religious lieutenant Davil Riieker in line. His ultimate scheme? I...have not thought of one yet. * This Troper is not a very good or experienced chess player, but when she has won, it is nearly always through some sort of convoluted plan that just happens to work. She even followed the page quote for this trope a bit too literally one time and ended up having her opponent in checkmate halfway through the plan, not realizing it until he pointed it out to her. * I've caught out people trying to claim they pulled these off. Wait 'till something happens by pure luck and see if they try to take credit for it. If they do, there's a good chance they don't even have a gambit of any type or are just trying to react to you and convince you they have some great plan ** This Troper readily admits to doing so, but only [[MindScrew because his plan relies upon people believing he has a plan]]. ---So now you will be returning to [[XanatosRoulette the original page,]] right? Just as planned! ---<<|TroperTales|>> [[spoiler: [[TheChessmaster Just as planned...]]]]

XCalledTheyWantTheirYBack * This Troper: Sega called. They want their good games back. ---XCalledTheyWantTheirYBack called, they want their page back. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

XDaysSince * In the one place this troper worked for [with signs like this], the numbers were often fudged to make a division look safer than it was. * My office has exactly such a sign in the middle of the first floor of the building. There are three different events being tracked. The funny thing is, one or another of them have been reset several times since the sign was put up, but the numbers ''never'' go below 10. So apparently it takes about a week and a half before anyone gets the message that those events have happened, and/or before whoever can update the sign gets around to it. This is probably not the message they wanted to send. * One day in my grade 8 class we jokingly suggested that we have such a thing put up for Ryan after he ran into a tree. It never happened but it was still funny. * Some of the students at this troper's local community college put up a sign in the cafeteria that said, "2 Days Since Last Raptor Attack." Not only did it stay up, and get changed regularly, but occasionally it would be ''reset''. * The steel mill that this troper works for has a large sign at the front gate displaying days since the last loss time injury/medical treatment injury. It feels pretty good whenever either sign has a larger value than 365. Another steel mill also gave all its employees a commemorative coffee mug when they went 9 years without an LTI. * Not a workplace-related thing, but on the Moon Guard(US) forums we have a "X Days since a Goldshire Thread" sign managed by the forum members. (On MG, Goldshire is a place known for it's notoriously bad trolling/greifing and prostitution, and people are sick of hearing it since it makes the server as a whole look bad.) Needless to say, it gets reset a lot. ---Go back to [[XDaysSince X Day...]]whoa, whoa, WHOA!!! '''''(SLAM!!!)'''''. ''(sign in the background goes from "[[GettingCrapPastTheRadar 69]] days since the last person got addicted to TV Tropes" to "0 days")'' ----

XJapan * [[Tropers.AGroupie This troper]] has been a fan of the band since 2006. Ironically, I first became interested in it via [[HidetoMatsumoto hide]] videos on YouTube and then looked up XJapan (I was a LArcEnCiel fan before that). It became the first band I fell in love with enough to follow pretty much every time I could afford to do so once they started their US ventures last year (and I showed up for members and ex-members' side projects in the US as well) and so much about it has changed my life in many ways, both positive and negative. The InternetBackdraft and FanDumb endemic to jrock fandom in general has pissed me off a few times (as well as the band members themselves but that's another story)...but I've met so many wonderful and cool fans and had so many great times at shows and touring even in

my limited way, I've been so deeply artistically inspired, and I feel like I've found some people and things that are so very cool. I originally came to TVTropes just to write this article about them... and somehow ended up going on to write a ton of other articles and participate in other ways.

XMeetsY * [[MmmKay This troper]] makes many fan stories by making the weirdest pairups. SuperSentai meets MalcomInTheMiddle, PowerpuffGirls meets InspectorGadget, and {{Rugrats}} meets {{Thunderbirds}}, to name a few. More of my weird combo tales exist [[Characters/{{ptitlevos5dvs8}} here]]. * My fanfiction is SouthPark Meets SailorMoon On Viagra and With Level 7 Gender inequality. * This troper owns a board game called 'World Quest' which is basically a fusion of Monopoly, Trivia pursuit and Scrabble. * [[{{Nausicaa}} This troper]] is writing a {{U2}} JukeboxMusical which is, in her own words, what happens if ''Breakfast On Pluto'', GhostInTheShell and {{Dollhouse}} get caught in a blender together with [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simulacra_and_Simulation Simulacra and Simulation]]. * Once I became a fan of ''{{Persona 3}}'', after a years-long battle with HypeAversion, I had the hardest time trying to convince a friend to try it as well without spoiling anything. Merely mentioning the words [[ShinMegamiTensei "Shin", "Megami" or "Tensei"]] would've made her eyes glaze over, and using arc phrases like "your true self" and "a persona is a false self that people wear" would've just gotten worried looks and questions about whether I'm feeling okay. But she's an RPG fan and a Marvel fan, and it finally hit me: ''{{Persona 3}}'' is basically ''FinalFantasyX'' meets ''XMenEvolution''. That explanation worked, she tried it and now she's a huge fan too. * One of this troper's original fiction projects can be described as {{Lucky Star}} meets {{Strike Witches}}, but with vampires. * The story this troper working on is accused of this. ** The Plot: KaraNoKyoukai meets {{Durarara}} meets HarryPotter meets HaruhiSuzumiya ** TheHero: [[XXXHoLic Doumeki]] meets [[{{Durarara}} Kasuka Hewajima]] meets [[HaruhiSuzumiya Yuki Nagato]] ** TheLancer: [[{{Durarara}} Shizuo meets Kida]] meets HaruhiSuzumiya meets [[WhenTheyCry Keiichi]] ** TheChick: [[FullMetalPanic Ren Mikihara]] meets [[KaraNoKyoukai Ryougi Shiki]]. ** TheSmartGuy: [[OuranHighSchoolHostClub Haruhi]] meets [[{{Kuroshitsuji}} Ciel]] meets [[HaruhiSuzumiya Kyon and Itsuki]]. ** BigBad: [[{{Durarara}} Izaya]] meets [[{{Heroes}} Linderman]] ** BigGood: [[KaraNoKyoukai Touko]] meets [[TheBreaker Chun-Woo]]. * [[{{@/Psyga315}} This troper]] has the following X meets Y ** The BigBad from {{Persona4}} = [[CodeGeass Lelouch]] + [[DeathNote Light]] ** [[{{Inception}} Mal]] = [[TheMatrix Agent Smith]] + [[SilentHill2 Pyramid Head]]

* I'm not sure if this counts, but my friend Kyle seems to have both me and my best friend's personalities. On his bad days, he'll end up having my personality while on his good days he'll end up having my best friend's personality. * This troper is working on a novel that is basically ''[[{{Ptitlei5gydjrz}} K-On!]]'' meets ''UtaKata'', although she started before she had ever heard of ''[[{{Ptitlei5gydjrz}} K-On!]]''. ---[[XMeetsY It's just like]] ThatOtherWiki, but [[RecruitTeenagersWithAttitude with attitude]]! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

XtremeKoolLetterz * Go ahead and deny that half your friends have screennames that use the format "xX(name)Xx". ** That's usually done because the screenname between the "xX Xx" was already taken. Or every conceivable number was already added to the end of it. * Back in the early nineties, this troper's school used timetabling software that required every teacher to have three initials. Most of the ones who only had two adopted X as a middle one. * This troper has a friend who has an "X" in her name, and uses her real initials when posting in online {{Fora}}. When asked why she didn't adopt a pseudonym, her answer was "I couldn't think of anything cooler". The troper nodded, and commented on catchiness of her initials. * This troper grew bored with the spelling of her name six years ago and changed the CH to a K, the I to a Y, and the ending Y to II. She still uses it to this day because nobody else does. ** I presume that she changed from "Christy" to "Krystii"? *** This troper knows a guy who changed the spelling of his name from "James" to "Jaymz". Partly due to the fact that his workplace violated the OneSteveLimit. * This troper had a falling out with his father's side of the family and since his mother's maiden name sucks, he took up an archaic spelling of his last name, Ximenes as opposed to Jimenez (to be fair, Ximenes is also the Catalan variation, and his family happens to be partially Catalan). * This troper's college gives each student a network ID based on their first, middle, and last initials with some numbers thrown on the end. If you don't have a middle name, or it's not on file for whatever reason, you get an "x" in your ID where your middle initial would be. Needless to say, people whose middle names aren't on file don't complain very often because - hello! - they get to have an "x" in their network ID. Xtreme! ** Similarly but accidentally, when this troper submitted his enrollment form for a university chemistry course, his handwriting must have been slightly shakier than normal as the head of the course misread his middle initial "K" as "X" and used that in all

correspondence and group handouts. The mystery of it was outweighed by having to explain to everyone for a year why X stood for Kenneth. * A club in this editor's hometown goes by the name of ''x3m'', apparently oblivious that L337speak conventions suggest it should be pronounced "Eczema" rather than "Extreme". ** I don't see where you get the 'a'. Or the Z. Or how 'Xem' would become anything like that. Or where 'Extreme' comes from, since phonetically it would be Exthreem. I guess they have a lisp? *** People with a lisp merge the phonemes "s" and "th". They may be Irish, since Irish dialects of English tend to merge "t" and "th". * A lot of organizations that have one word with a C and one with a K will change it so they're alliterative, Kay's Kritters for example. This troper's work had a program that was "Kidz Kamp", which gets bonus point for the cool z, as well. This led to the people who worked there being...Kidz Kamp Kounselors (Yes, seriously.), which leads to an interesting abbreviation. * This one's screename has an "X for an E acronym" X. In my defense, E just doesn't flow as well, cool or not, with a soft consonant. The choice is nothing to do with being "eXtreme" or "cool". * This troper went to a fair with a carnie booth where you mixed your own slushies. On it, in huge, impossibly kool lettarz, was "[=U-M8KIT=]." I'm just glad it had the K, or it would have translated...not so well... * This troper knew a woman who had her name's spelling legally changed from Tracey to Trayce. Same pronunciation, just cooler to write. * My family takes Scrabble [[SeriousBusiness very seriously]]. One time I was playing with my little brother and sister on an electronic version. I was up and I decided to play "ZALT" just to see if anyone would call me on it. My brother was up next and my sister wasn't really paying attention so we decided to gang up on her like we usually do. He played "ZALTY" and when my sister's turn came up, it was too late as the program we were using allows only 10 seconds to challenge. To this day we always say "pass the zalt" at the dinner table. * This troper has actually made a reason for this in his novel. All nobility have to start their names with a C, and royalty with a K. Anybody without those letters is a peasant, and naming above your station is a crime. Admit it, I'm the greatest author alive. ** Why would you willingly use this lame trope? ** You'll have too many characters starting with the same letter, and readers will get them mixed up and put the book down in frustration. * For a period of time in kindergarten, this troper spelled her last name (Collins) with a K. Unfortunately, the teacher thought it was too cool and asked this troper's mom why suddenly this troper was spelling her name "Kollins." (Sorry, no Z. However, if I ever go back to spelling my last name with a K, I'll replace the S too with a Z and make it "Kollinz.") * A lot of my friends can't spell, so names get butchered. Natalie turns into Natilie or Natilee(extreme cases), Audrey is Odrie etc. * One of this feline at heart troper's online friend's real names is Kori. No joke. * [[@/DaNuke Da_Nuke]] knows a guy who for some reason listed on

Facebook his middle name as "X.". Not knowing his full name, for a while he assumed his middle name was "Xavier", which is not an uncommon name in Hispanic countries. It turned out it was just a gratuitous X just for the sake of being XTREME. * My cousin, a rapper, goes by the stage name of Key Kool. It's actually not too far off from his real first name, which no one but family uses; everyone else just calls him Key. * Name spelled in Xtreme Kool Letterz are getting more common, like Emalee for Emily, Hailee for Hayley and Caetlin and Katelynn for Caitlin. * [[@/AJTheBlackDragon This Troper]] likes to parody and subvert this trope. For instance, the "art brand" that I make everything under is "Sairain MIDI", which could have been easily called "Zairain", but it looks more professional and not [[TotallyRadical kiddy]], because nothing is kiddy that comes from that "brand". Also, I make up this little joke of whenever I see [[XtremeKoolLetterz Extreme Cool Letters]] that I will sue the company for improper grammar and spelling. * This troper quotes a particularly foolish acquaintance: -->"i can haz lotz of mistakez in teh facebookz cuz i express my feelingz wit teh z'z" * Juztified becauze my keyboard iz broken, zo I have to uze Z inztead. Man that lookz weird. * My name is Davíð not David, it is pronouced Dah-Veeth. ** Eth is the ultimate in xtreme letterz! * [[Tropers/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] remembers when a new video store opened in his home town, they had a special corner set aside for children's movies; which had a giant sign hanging over it saying "Kids Korner"...''[[AtopTheFourthWall because poor literacy is kewl!]]'' * First time this troper played D&D, the GM uploaded his map sideways, so the N on the compass rose became a Z. Calling north "zorth" became a running joke among our group. * My dad misspelled my name on my birth certificate, leaving me with a "y" instead of an "i" and two l's instead of one. Unyntendedd xtreme letters! * This troper's first name is Monika. With a K. It's a bit of a subversion, though, since that's the usual form of the name in her country. * As anyone who has played WorldOfWarcraft knows, when you are a Warlock your demons' names are generated randomly. This Troper had the odd coincidence of having an imp named Karloz. * In this troper's local grocery store they were selling chicken wings, and on one of the signs it said "Boneless wyngz" for no apparent reason. * This troper's name is Sydney. When she moved, the kids in her new class wrote a welcome message on the chalkboard. They wrote, "WELCOME CIDNY". Justified in that they were second-graders. From another country. * This troper had to write an essay about a tv show for children, and decided to name it using XtremeKoolLetterz. He's pretty sure that's the reason he didn't get a perfect score on the essay. * This troper's brother in law's first name is spelled Danial-with an

a. Danial's mother gets very mad when people assume it's a typo and spell it like most normal people would, which is Daniel. (Of course, Danial named his two sons Mikael and Konnor and gets mad if people spell those names correctly, which if anything proves that stupid is hereditary.) ---G0 Bak 2 XtremeKoolLetterz heer. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YamatoNadeshiko * The violin player (well, former, now that she moved) in [[ThisTroper this troper's]] church might have been one. She has ** Good domestic skills: She was said to be very well organized and a GREAT cook (she has a chef degree) ** Long and dark(with a hint of [[color:brown:brown]]) hair ** Girlishness: moderately, also [[TomboyAndGirlyGirl the girly girl to most of her female friends]] ** Fairly endowed ** Soft-Voice ** Kindness ** Humility, despite [[TeenGenius swiping major awards as early as 16 and continues.]] *** ...[[SincerityMode Are you single?]] **** You mean her? I don't know, haven't heard about her for a while now. * [[{{Tropers/Joerc 45}} This troper]] himself can qualify; as a male example, of course. I am very talented at baking, cooking, cleaning, and love doing all kinds of housework. I'm quite [[TeenGenius intelligent,]] I love to read and I LOVE learning, but a little bit [[InnocenceVirginOnStupidity "ditzy" in the "pure" sense]]. I'm [[TheMessiah kind, sweet, and love meeting new people and tries very hard to be a likeable person]]. I'm [[LawfulGood honest and]] [[ActualPacifist compassionate]], [[FriendToAllLivingThings friendly to animals]], and love stories, but I'm also not [[BrutalHonesty afraid to dispense]] [[{{Anvilicious}} sharp advice to those I care for]]. I have dark hair and eyes, and I love to dress classy and wear plenty of black. I'm also quite humble, and I never like to show off. I love music, and even though I don't play an instrument, I would really love to learn one day, preferably the harp or the piano. ** Can I date you!? * My mom qualifies. She rules the home and can be strict but fair, and she is always gracious in mixed company (when just around us, however, she can be just as crazy as all five of us kids put together). She appears to be an "ideal" housewife: she keeps a clean house and clean kids, has soft blonde PowerHair, and makes food so delicious it will make you cry. But do NOT mess with her. She gets up a five in the morning to do [[TrainingFromHell Cross Fit]], has done a triathlon and a half-marathon, and could probably kick your sorry ass in minutes. And she has a degree in Speech Communications, so she knows how to

talk so that people will listen. * [[ThisTroper This troper's]] grandmother was a perfect example of the old-fashioned '50s housewife. She could make all her own clothes and curtains, cook from scratch with no pre-prepared ingredients, repair furniture and much more, yet ran the household with a fist of iron ... which is probably why at her funeral, no one except Troper herself remembered her for anything other than cooking, cleaning or running around after them. It broke Troper's heart. * A (male) character in this troper's RP-verse is YamatoNadeshiko, big time. He's soft-spoken, patient and polite by nature, [[TeamMom very nurturing]] (and boy howdy, [[DysfunctionJunction do people need it]]), [[PapaWolf protective]] [[FriendToAllChildren of children]], and always dresses in neat, somewhat old-fashioned clothes. [[PaleSkinnedBrunette He even looks like a classic Yamato Nadeshiko...]] [[CuteShotaroBoy sort]] [[Really700YearsOld of.]] He's generally [[ShrinkingViolet quite timid]], but he can be downright [[TranquilFury deadly]] if he's [[BewareTheNiceOnes pushed too far.]] Although he [[GuiltComplex has]] [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone a]] [[AxeCrazy lot]] [[FailureKnight of]] [[MilesToGoBeforeISleep issues]] (he's a reformed Yangire, for one thing. Long story.), they only motivate him [[TheAtoner to try harder to be "good" in general]]. * This troper plays this trope straight in some ways, but not so much in others. She's quite girly, soft-spoken, and well-mannered, loves cute things, enjoys taking care of people and making them happy and is something of a FriendToAllLivingThings ''and'' [[FriendToAllChildren children]], not to mention enjoys cooking, and can do just about any kind of household chore, including ironing and sewing. But she's also got various insecurities, pride issues, and a fairly bad temper when things don't go her way, which she tries to suppress as much as possible, with mixed results (and she's not of Japanese heritage either; the closest thing she has to a heritage is Eastern-European Jew, and she looks the part). * [[Tropers/SanaMae This troper]] could be considered a subversionquiet, determined, polite, good at cooking, good with children and animals, intelligent, with strong MamaBear tendancis, and pale with long brown hair. However, I'm also a [[DeadpanSnarker snarky]], [[CloudCuckooLander spacey]], [[CuteClumsyGirl klutzy]] DitzyGenius who weilds a FryingPanOfDoom.

YankTheDogsChain * [[{{SynjoDeonecros}} This troper]] and his friends refer to this as the "Tantalus Curse", in reference to the Greek mythological figure doomed to an IronicHell of being within reach of food and drink, but never being able to partake. Unfortunately, this trope has struck our lives far more often than should have if karma did indeed exist. * This happened pretty tragically with a good friend of mine and a very beautiful girl, beautiful person that we both loved. She was in a car accident that left her completely mangled, and after a year of surgeries and physical therapies she appeared to have bounced back completely, out of pain, physically fit and beautifully vibrant again. Then suddenly died of a brain clot left by a prior surgery. Yeah, that

hit me almost as hard as it did the guy, it took us quite a while to get over it. * This seems to happen quite frequently to [[{{VF1SValkyrie}} this troper]], in terms of romantic relationships. He's only had two real relationships in the span of 10 years, and every girl he tries to ask out either shoots him down, or gives him the "doesn't feel like dating right now," sometimes less than a week after a date. ** This troper feels your pain. I have two examples of this. *** So, there's this girl who's a total ShrinkingViolet that I'm friends with. We talk alot, and I really like her. So, I decided to ask her out. I told her she had some time to think about it, and she took that time. Before she gave the final verdict, she asked for my EMail address, we chatted on IM to know more about each other, and during class (it was a computer class, FYI) I saw her Googling tips on how to start a good relationship. You think Cupid was finally gonna ThrowTheDogABone, right? To quote [[SupermanReturns Lex Luthor,]] [[MemeticMutation WRONG!!!!!]] About a week of making me think we were official, she told me [[ItsNotYouItsMe she wasn't ready for a relationship.]] *** The last one happened around the time for Prom. Now, I asked this girl if she wanted to go with me. Naturally..... She said no. She was going with a friend who was dateless, and I understood. But that's not the worst part. Once prom night actually comes, her date doesn't even show up. So, I asked her if she at least wanted to share a song together. That's when, with a smug SlasherSmile, shakes her head and just walks off. I take it simply telling the person they were ugly wasn't in style anymore? * This troper was [[YuGiOh dueling a friend]] and was getting [[CurbStompBattle stomped, badly]]. I finally came up with a good strategy (I had Junk Synchron and Junk Warrior in my hand and a monster with enough stars to summon it on the field, plus a Magic Card that would allow Junk Warrior to destroy the (very powerful) monster he had on the field). I summoned Junk Warrior...and the guy triggered Bottomless Trap Hole. The duel didn't end well. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YearInsideHourOutside * This troper, when he was 15 once had a horrible nightmare where he went to sleep and woke up in his bed at the age of 40 with virtually nothing changing. He went downstairs and there was his mother, apparently mildly surprised to see him out of his coma not even comprehending the horror of how much time had passed between he went to sleep and when he woke up. If this were true, he would have woken up in the year 2034 completely out of touch with everyone he ever knew. Fortunately it was just a CatapultNightmare. ** I should add this was made even more nightmarish by the fact that everything in my room was exactly the same as I left it upon the indream awakening. Given this was also true upon the real awakening I had to rush to a mirror to make sure it was real this time and I was only 15.

* [[@/{{Fishsicles}} This Troper]] had a similar dream once, but "woke up" AfterTheEnd. My room was still there, as I remembered it, but everything else was just gone; completely desert. It was disquieting enough (I would say NightmareFuel but... well...) until I realized it was a dream and started god-modding as per usual ;E. * May I point out? THIS IS WHAT SCHOOL FEELS LIKE. ** I hear ya. Been in college for three and a half years, but it feels like nine. * This troper writes some fanfiction where this trope or YearOutsideHourInside could be fatal to one of the characters. * The number of times this troper has gotten trapped in small, enclosed spaces with no clock. Like an elevator, or the subway train stopping in between stations, etc.

YearX * Some school exercises feature papers with companies ordering or people writing letters in the year 0X. I got my first of this papers in 2011, so does it make this Zeerust then? ---Go back to YearX ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YeGoodeOldeDays * This Troper was born too late AND too early. I like 70s and 80s music, but I would rather be immortal. * This troper is mixed but usually listed as being of this opinion. While the ''actual'' middle ages were pretty horrible, the middle ages as portrayed in fantasy are what this troper aspires to live up to. She often styles herself as a sort of knight (in sour armor, attitude wise, but leaning more toward shining armor behaviorwise - still behaving idealistically but not really believing in the rest of the world), WillNotTellALie, and don't even get her started on chivalry. In reflection of this mentality, she has taken up historical swordfighting and archery, and enjoys "medieval-esque" music. People seem to think of her as old-fashioned, but in a good way - it's a strange quirk, yes, but people actually like me more for it. It's kind of hard to dislike someone who has devoted her life to knightly honor. The weird thing? She's a girl in high school. In a semi-related note, she is often very far behind the latest trends, to the point of just staring blankly when asked about fashion and not recognising famous actor names. * Bizarrely, This Troper had a tutor at university who voiced this kind of attitude. It was so bizarre because she taught Medieval Literature. She would insist, whenever someone mentioned (factual) things like hardly anyone being able to read and write and everyone dying of plague in the Middle Ages that it "wasn't that bad". This troper got the impression that the poor woman (mad spinster that she

was) had some sort of wistful desire to have lived in such times, when she really ought to have known better. ** This troper's Literature and History (!!!) teacher in 11th grade was almost the same. She hated computers, she even had troubles starting an audio cassette recorder, and wait for it... she repeatedly told us she felt she was born 500 years too late. On the top of that, she was a professed agnostic. You'd think teaching History would cause her to know better, but apparently, she never listened to one of her own lectures. ** This troper's History teacher subverted the trope whenever faced with revisionist history. This troper's school being a rigidlyconservative Baptist school, a lot of the so-called history books always portrayed Christian conservativism as immaculately right while portraying the liberal left as the decadent cause of all of society's problems. Such historical revisionism did not go over well with the teacher, who was very serious about History. While compelled to discuss what the textbooks had down, he would always go "although, some would say that (insert non-biased historical version here), but of course we know that's historical revisionism (this part said in a very sarcastic tone)". Naturally, he was booted out after a year, but this troper fondly remembers him for being one of the few teachers who didn't try to shovel revisionist propaganda down his throat. * Although this troper can't imagine being without a wiki anymore, he still dreams of the days fries were sold for less than half of what they cost now, transitlink cards that were red and could last a while on 2 dollars, newspapers that cost 50 cents, and the world was a less terror-filled-armageddon-in-progress place to live in (War and Famine and Death would love to welcome the Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth Horsemen, Terror, Pollution, and Chaos. Pestilence quit after penicillin and other wonder drugs were invented and now does smalltime stuff like hand-foot-mouth and bird flu). ** "If the show doesn't look like it's going to change its status quo, expect the SixthRanger to actually be the SixthRangerTraitor." Chaos is secretly on our side, and everything will be just fine. *** [[SonicAdventure Yeah, when you have the big water monster who destroys cities on your side it helps, since the enemies have so many cities!]] ** Antibiotics only caught Pestilence by surprise, he's making a comeback with superbugs like [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mrsa MRSA]]. ** Also, Famine is more or less restricted to South America and the Old World now. War has forked over most of his duties to Terror, but isn't quite gone yet. At the moment, he's sitting on the North-South Korean border, trying desperately to contain his laughter. Edit: [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/June_15th_North-South_Joint_Declaration and now he's just kind of annoyed]]. ** Why would you want to live when everything was more expensive? Certainly you don't think 50 cents then was less money than a dollar is now. Terror and chaos have been around as long as people and forever respectively, and pollution is significantly smaller than what it was a decade or two ago. * This troper does feel she was born several hundred years too late,

and dreams of the dirty, smelly, simple days of the Pictish tribes of the Highlands. Ditto Renaissance/Tudor England, Pre-Roman Britain, and pre-Columbine America. ** Pre-Columbine? You mean before April 20, 1999? (Sorry, I couldn't resist...) * This troper was born too early. I want my cyborg implants, dammit, and am looking forward to the good future days. ** This troper agrees. It's especially annoying that the present has stuff that either hints at a sci-fi-like future (like privately built spaceships) or is pretty awesome now if you think about it (like the Internet) but still remains depressingly short on AIs and space travel that's not in Earth's immediate neighborhood. *** So for you folks, it'd be like the [[NineteenEightyFour DoublePlus-Good]] New Days, then? **** That is so 26 years ago. * This troper feels like they have been stiffed on nostalgia - their parents remember different monetary units and suchlike; they're stuck with "I remember when petrol going over double digits seemed astounding..." * [[@/{{Starscream}} My]] dad often goes into rants about this, especially in regards to money or food (e.g. I remember when we only had to pay $2 for this, not $8! And we got so much more back then!). * I once read a report of a survey someone made of some experts on the history of medicine, who were asked: At what point in history did medical knowledge become good enough that an honest, knowledgeable, and well-meaning doctor was more likely to help you than hurt you? In other words, when did seeing a doctor become a better option than simply doing nothing and hoping for the best? The experts' consensus was that it was sometime in the 19th century. ** "Where" you are in the world is as important to that question as "when", though. Classic-era Greek and Medieval-era Arabic doctors were both miles ahead of anyone else. * This troper's grandmother. Good god. It's gotten to the point that we can't start conversations with her anymore because she's convinced that the world was better off in the 40s and that this "technology" thing is going to destroy the world. * This troper is engaged in a perpetual argument with a friend over the relative value of vaccines, antibiotics, and other modern conventional medical techniques. The friend usually responds to "If alternative medicine wants to be taken seriously, let it be tested like Western medicine is," with, "It's been used for hundreds of years by people in X place!" Yeah, if you managed to survive your own birth, childhood illnesses, the possibility of a severe injury like a broken leg, giving birth if you were a woman, and so on, you could live for quite a while. Maybe to the ripe old age of fifty. ** What?! None of what you said there is a valid argument either ''for'' or ''against'' alternative medicine. It just sounds like a really silly argument between two people who lack sufficient information to make a point. *** A) A brief TroperTales anecdote really isn't enough to judge the argument as a whole, and B) how is the fact that Western medicine has helped people to survive or avoid causes of death that were common

when people only had "traditional" medicine not an argument? ** Fifty? Not exactly. Because of the truly high death rate for children under five, the average age of a population before the 20th century hovered around the 50s. But, if you got to age five, you were quite likely to last until 70s in most urban, literate civilizations. (Excluding large-scale warfare, drought, and pandemics.) *** I still ain't going back in time, though. Think 'dentistry', never mind the Internet, electricity, sanitation, and generally competent medicine. **** In my experience, even post-90s family doctors are markedly more competent than pre-90s physicians, especially when it comes spotting the danger signs of serious illness (like diabetes). **** Just imagine being a woman before ''electricity''. Forget the suffrage movement: bleating politicos are as ''nothing'' compared to the life-and-death nature of electricity in civilized life. * This troper feels that he should have been born in either Britain a hundred years ago, or Japan a thousand years ago. All other times and places are pretty dreadful as far as he's concerned. * I used to have the feeling as a teen that I'd have been better off a few hundred years earlier. The thing about this is, while we're definitely better off now in terms of material comforts and such, there's a sense among some of us that the modern world is also confused, nihilistic, shallow, overly commercial, and just sort of falling apart. And ''that'' is the appeal of the past: things seem (at least from our perspective) to have been more simple and sane back then. ** ''YES.'' Two thumbs up, pal! ** The idea of 'teenagers' as a distinct group is a modern concept. A few hundred years ago you would have been an adult with all the responsibilities of that position dependent on your status and where you lived. This meant that you'd likely already be married and expected to start a family, and would be in a career track that you would keep for the rest of your life. You'd likely still worry about the state of your own little corner of the world (since that's all you'd know about) but you'd have less chance of changing it and way more chance of being beaten senseless if you voiced it. If this sounds better to you, then continue to feel you were BornInTheWrongCentury. *** "A few hundred years ago" would be the late 17th or early 18th century. Teenage brides were actually relatively rare in Western Europe's middle and lower classes -- the average ''first'' marriage age for females actually wavered somewhere between 18-27 depending on where and when you were. For men, it was nearly thirty, as they tended to be established in their trade/have inherited/otherwise developed some stability (and in rural areas this means no longer farming dad's land) before they started looking for brides. There was no concept of 'teenagers' a few hundred years ago, certainly, but there was some kind of approximation of 'young professionals,' especially if the troper you are responding to is male (although there were professional women in the time period, even if most of them had upper-middle class fathers or husbands to fall back on; there were women tradesmen, too, although they tended to be older women who had taken over their husband's position in the guild when he died). With the average age of

marriage so high, the majority of people who fell into our "teen and younger twenty-something" category today would have been young men in the last portion of their apprenticeships, young people who had yet to truly leave the nest (the usual for women), or young men still a while from being established enough to settle down. So they were adults with responsibilities, yes, but many of them still had older people around in positions of authority in some sense looking out for them, not too unlike the ratios today. Sorry, but suggesting I would have no choice but to have been married by now if I were living in the Renaissance or the Age of Enlightenment (I'm 20 and biologically female, for the record) is something of a SingleIssueWonk. * This troper wishes that I was born roughly at the turn of the century, so I could be a gangster during [[TheRoaringTwenties the prohibition]]. Alternately, be roughly the same age during TheSixties (in England), so I could be a hippie, and be around when LedZeppelin was still new. * [[@/TheTallOne I]] am prone to long-winded, tangental stories, and I frequently end them with a heavy sigh, saying "Those were the days." No matter what I'm talking about. Which is funny whilst explaining math problems. * This troper averts this. I would rather have vaccines than be born in the 30s and die of Smallpox and Whooping Cough. I would rather have my trusty Macintosh than have to deal with terrible handwriting. (And I probably wouldn't have been able to ''go'' to college in the earlier 20th century.) I would much rather have people who ''know'' of Aspergers rather than just lump me in with people with genuine brain damage because I don't like other people. And most importantly... I ''hated'' school. Why would I ''want'' to go ''back''? * On the whole,things are better than they were. * This is why I want to do professional historical re-enactments: so I can spend time in another century, then come home to a warm house and videogames. * This troper was born too late and, going BeyondTheImpossible, too early. I like old video games, but I also like anime as much as the next guy who doesn't hate it. ---You can go back to [[Main/YeGoodeOldeDays the original page]] if you want, but it's really not as good as it used to be. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe * A common expression among this troper's friends is "O Irony, verily thou art a cruel mistress! Why dost thou taunt me so?" * Averted in this troper's period works; no matter how well she can research fashion, social mores, and technology, she can't seem to pin down how people spoke without interrupting the flow of the story. So all the characters consistently speak modern English. Troper tries to avoid AnachronismStew the best she can by avoiding all modern slang, putting time-appropriate expressions where she knows she'll get it

''right'', and staying the hell away from excessive swearing. Characters do use "damn", "hell" and maybe a "bastard" here and there, but "fuck" isn't used unless the setting is after the early bits of the twentieth century (WWII being the generally accepted mark.) ** Tsk, tsk. They are actually far more likely to say fuck than they are to say any of the "blasphemies." Fuck is not a modern word and sexual and scatological cussing were far more common than religious cursing. * Can cause RealityIsUnrealistic, as a woman at the book store where [[@/TheBadWolf this contributor]] works bought ''Beowulf'' in the original Old English, thinking it was just going to have a bunch more ''thees'' and ''thous''. * From this troper's workplace: unthinkingly I asked a coworker, "Whence came these doughnuts?" Her baffled response: "Uhh... [[http://www.frysfood.com/homepage/ Fryeth]]." * This troper found this used to comedic effect at a local Renaissance Faire, in the form of a shop called "Ye Olde Pottery Dude", which humorously combines faux Old English with modern slang. * In elementary school, this troper brought in a facsimile of a ca. 1700 etiquette book for show and tell -- leading to the following exchange[[hottip:*:Which may be a bit exaggerated, due to the effects of time and accumulated bile.]]: -->'''Teacher:''' Oh, look, it's in ''Old English''!\\ '''This Troper:''' Um, no, no, it's, um... *desperately searches memory* I think this would be Early Modern English.\\ '''Teacher:''' Doesn't look very modern to me. See? It has ''F''s instead of ''S''es! * This troper, under a severe Heroic BSOD caused by a nasty breakup, began talking for months in Shakespearian English. Took his rather snarky and cynical best friend to snap him out of it. ** [[FlatWhat ...What.]] * This troper sometimes writes in this, and often wilst speak like this for laughs. * [[Tropers/SukiSelfDestruct My]] friend and [[Tropers/SukiSelfDestruct I]] tend to speak like this, leading to: "Thou art a speaker of untruths! Thine trousers shall ignite and hangeth on a telephone wire!" * When [[Tropers/MrInitialMan this troper]] went to Sunday School, there was a gent who would act out stories from the bible. In the story of mana (when the Israelites were headed for the promised land), he acted out a guy who gathered more mana than he should have, and said, "Something stinketh I thinketh", then bemoaned the fact that the mana was spoiled. In a story intended to entertain little kids, it worked very well. * This troper's quite proficient in the Polish equivalent of this. Yup, that's the archaic version of the language "built on ForTheEvulz". You shoudl try that sometime, guys. Funny as hell. * Given the number of HistoricalFiction BDs in France, and given how avidly I read them, it comes as no surprise I end up using weird curses in Vieil Oil Massacroit. "Ventre-Saint-Vit!" and "Par le foutre-dieu!" come to mind... * This troper was the only one in his high school who actually could

decipher Middle English. Not quite this trope, because it was pronounced, written, and spelled very counter-intuitively, and was near-unintelligible to the less nerdy of his classmates. ** This troper and his Junior-year English class in high school had to deal with SirGawainAndTheGreenKnight as well as TheCanterburyTales. He and his mates got the hang of it, though he was never confident of his own ability to decipher it (the modern English translation was always available in-book). Come college when he had to read Canterbury Tales again--but only in the original middle English, albeit with [[FootnoteFever helpful footnotes]]--he found that though the spelling was somewhat counter-intuitive in comparison to modern English, they often were close enough to modern English to be decipherable (again, with a little help), and the pronunciation, though strange, follows the spelling more closely than modern English; some of his college classmates did have trouble reading it, however. Long story short, YMMV. He did play the trope straight through occasionally mimicking Shakespearean speech in conversation and in poems. * When this troper's Year Seven class was doing a project on Shakespeare, he accidentally did talketh in speeche archaic a couple of times. ---Getteth thee backeth to YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe...eth. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YesButWhatDoesZataproximetacineDo * This troper once took various tablets for different things, one of which had the side effect of ''causing what i was trying to be rid of''. ** They ''all'' have side-effects like those. * I have here a leaflet for one SSRI which lists "Suicide-related ''events''" as a side-effect, which is worryingly non-specific. ** When something bad happens to someone in a study who is taking medication, it is called an adverse event. Intentional harm related events are available in [[http://www.who.int/classifications/apps/icd/icd10online/ ICD 10]] Codes under X60-X84, covering everything from Intentional selfpoisoning by and exposure to nonopioid analgesics, antipyretics and antirheumatics, to Intentional self-harm by unspecified means. Incidentally, the ICD lists are a great way of finding medical conditions which could go in a fake side-effect list, like atrophy of prostate (N42.2) *** This one can attest that they're not making the suicidal thoughts thing up. Is it bad that I stopped taking drugs because the thoughts I had ''scared me away from them''? * This troper owns a copy of ''Selling It'', a collection of the ''Consumer Reports'' columns, which documents a case of the 'Do not operate heavy machinery' warning on pills prescribed by the ''vet''. "We had no idea what the cat was up to when he felt good!" * The sleep aid Ambien lists "sleep-eating" as one of its side

effects. Not listed, but known to have happened to at least one person each, are sleep-painting and sleep-sex. ** Not to mention [[http://www.slate.com/id/2216714/ sleep mowing the lawn and sleep driving to a booty call to cheat on your wife.]] ** This editor knew a classmate who took this medicine and ended up eating everything in his fridge, and waking up on his ''front porch'' in his boxers. ** This editor took Ambien for a long while and only stopped when my body got so adjusted to it that it didn't work any more. I heard some ''funny'' stories in college on mornings after I'd taken one. The best was probably "Yeah, you came into my room, accused me of being snack food, and then fell down". From personal experience, the cause is pretty much that the pills are gonna induce a dreaming state in you no matter what, and if you don't entirely fall asleep first, well... ** While in the Army this troper knew a fellow soldier who took Ambien and combined it with alcohol. In a drug induced haze this individual ignored the presence of seven other people in a room, put a pornographic DVD in his DVD player, and started beating off in front of them. Yeah, he never did hear the end of that one... ** There's also been several instances of people driving in their sleep while on Ambien. YIKES! ** This troper's ex-wife took Ambien for a while. This resulted in such behaviours as steadily drinking a cup of tea whilst snoring, talking to the liquid crystals in the computer screen, and [[LeeroyJenkins running straight up to a WoW boss before everyone was ready]], and saying into Teamspeak, "Hi! We're here to kill you now!" ** This troper's aunt took Ambien CR; the most interesting thing she did was go around her house lighting candles. She's convinced the "CR" stands for "can't remember." ** [[Tropers/PentiumMMX2 This troper]], seeing as he was having problems sleeping around that time, took a sleep aid one night to see if maybe it'd help. When I woke up the next morning, [[WholesomeCrossdresser I was wearing my sister's favorite dress]] [[WhatDidIDoLastNight for some reason]]. After that, I never did take any kind of sleep aid again. * This troper has this weird commanding officer. After ingesting some sort of supplement, he claimed he saw a bright, irregularly moving, orange object in the sky, and then was bathed in a white light. He passed out, and when he woke up, he was home. I dunno what happened to him. * This troper had to take anti-pain drugs after some operations on her back. One of the side effects was irrepressible sexual urges. It seems that pain reception and social inhibition are somewhat related. She quickly asked for a change of medicines. * This troper's father for years had some sort of fungus growing under his toenails. Unsightly, but ultimately harmless. The reason he had it for years was because the only drug available to treat it stood a good chance of causing permanent kidney damage. The doctor apparently recommended it in perfect seriousness. ** Geeze. Daily coatings of Vicks Vapo-rub (spelling?) will get rid of a toenail fungus in something like a year. You wonder about the morals and/or intelligence of some medical professionals.

* This troper's mother once caught a nasty case of stomach flu, and the doctor prescribed her a drug with side effects that included visual and auditory hallucinations. She stopped using it after a potted plant began to explain its plans for world domination. * Escitalopram treats depression, but has a side effect of attention problems. Taking it, I was later prescribed methylphenidate as well, which treats attention problems but has a side effect of depression. * This Troper had to stop taking a certain acne medication because it turned bits of her skin blue. ** Would that be Tetracycline? [[@/OkamiNoRei This Troper]] was warned that excessive exposure to sunlight while using it would turn his skin purple. It never happened, much to my disappointment. * [[@/MonsterDog This troper]] used to play with this trope in his job as a bank teller. "Ask your banker if upgraded checking is right for you. Side effects include free stuff, increased savings account balance, and occasional drowsiness. If increased wealth continues, consult an investment guy." The branch manager hated me for going off script, but it worked. * This troper's beloved Lamictal is infamous for a side effect of, I kid you not, deadly ''rash''. ** Got it. I got better. * This troper has the unfortunate job of working for a company that sells mail-order prescriptions. One day he took an order for Muse, an ED drug, taken by injection. In the appropriate place. So yeah... * [[@/SlatzGrobnik This Troper]] recommends anyone who finds him or herself in law school to take a class in Products Liability. You will have more of these stories than you ever wanted to know existed. * My mood stabilizers made my mood swings FAR FAR FAR WORSE. ** They also gave me the most realistic dreams of my life, including one where I lived a FULL WEEK of a potential future timeline, which included going to sleep and waking up, and all five senses worked COMPLETELY, not to mention reading newspapers and such. When I actually woke up, I was amazed to see that that was only in an EIGHT HOUR sleep... * This troper once had a blog (technically, I still have it, but I never write on it anymore because no one ever paid it any attention) on which he wrote [[http://oddpizza.wordpress.com/2008/06/03/oldperson-pill-commercia/ a parody of television commercials like this trope.]] * This troper's father used to go on a health craze every so often, bringing home a random vitamin or pill and declare that the whole family has to take it, then forgetting about it after a month. One night after he had brought home a new one, I found myself giggling for no reason that evening for a bit. No big deal. The following day in the middle of history class, I just started giggling again -- a giggling fit that lasted OVER AN HOUR before it finally subsided. I never let my dad give me random stuff again. ** Apparently caffeine can cause giggling that lasts at least an hour and a half. This troper had a classmate who had Redbull in class, (part of an English project actually, but that's a story for another page, probably) and unfortunately this troper shared the next class with him. They really need warnings on those cans. Also, this troper

knows someone who had a heart attack from too many Rock Stars. * This troper loves coming up with ridiculous side effects, including: Lack of hair loss, sliminess, lack of nipple awareness, flights of fancy, loose gas caps, inability to recall the lyrics to "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road", squeaky joints, inadequate uvula, flat knuckles, hamfistedness, painted retinas, and bouts of frantic toenail clipping. * [[@/{{Joerc45}} This troper]] has experimented with many different kinds of pain meds from Promethazine to every kind ending in -dol, [[NoPeriodsPeriod {except that one}]] for treatment of his [[IllBoy illnesses]], many of which cause numbness, [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} constant spacing out]], and an [[GenkiGirl inability to sit still]]. Then again, there's a pretty good chance that I do most of those things on my good days, especially after a few [[MustHaveCaffeine cups of coffee]]. ^_^ * This troper does not recall any warning with his prozac that said, "May ultimately worsen depression to the point where the user is actually suicidal". Needless to say, I'm not on prozac any more. ** It seems to happen with other anti-depressants. My parents once asked me to search about a medicine my father was taking (to relieve mood swings, that was one of the side effects from ANOTHER medicine for chronical headache) and actually the anti-depressive also caused mostly depression-related side effects. Including suicidal tendencies. ** How old are you? Because it's pretty well known that antidepressants can actually worsen depression in non-adults. They even have warnings on them saying you shouldn't take it if you're a child/teenager. ** More to the point, how old ''were'' you when you were on it, and were the above side effects known at the time? *** I was sixteen, five months off being seventeen, at the time (November 2009) and the potential side effects were known as my mother asked the doctor about the suicide risk and the doctor said that it shouldn't be a problem. * A relative of [[@/SoWeAteThem ours]] was suffering crippling pains, to the point where she couldn't sleep at night, for which she was taking Vicodin. She showed us the papers that were given to her along with a prescription for Naproxen. I don't remember what the side effects were (I'm pretty sure gastrointestinal bleeding was one of them), however, the paper must have had seven separate conditions under which you should quit taking it immediately and call somebody, neither of which appeared the least bit pleasant. She ultimately decided that the risks outweighed the good. "Common side effects include dying in your sleep" were my exact words * Parodied in an over the top manner [[http://muffinshota.livejournal.com/97380.html here]]. The whole thing is just ridiculous, but it was made in protest of the name [[PokemonBlackAndWhite Unova]] * This troper has adverse reactions to amoxicillin, of all things. If you read the side effects carefully, they include anxiety, mental changes and unclear thinking, which this troper had in spades. As if being sick isn't bad enough, the paranoia is enough to make you truly miserable. * This troper recently saw a commercial for the stop-smoking drug

Chantix. Two of the side effects given were SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS! F*ck, I'd just keep smoking, or at least get some Nicorette. * It's not uncommon for me to see, in a two minute commercial whose visuals consist soleley of a pair of people walking on a beach on a cloudy day, fifteen seconds of how great the product is, one minute and thirty about the side effects, then a quote from one of the people in the visuals about how GREAT the product has been for them. Usually the side effects are, in fact, worse than the thing being treated. * A friend was telling this troper about an experience where she took a cold medication with the seemingly conflicting side effects of "hyperactivity" and "drowsiness." She described it as getting the urge to run around before falling asleep after ten minutes. She woke up with a headache and a strong conviction to read labels of medicines. ---Can you afford not to ask your doctor about going back to YesButWhatDoesZataproximetacineDo? ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YetAnotherStupidDeath * This troper while playing spore galactic adventures, tried to use a grenade in close combat, it didn't work very well... * [[@/AlasDearCoriander This Troper's]] sister thought a grenade was a powerup in ''{{Halo}}.'' She was turned into [[{{Gorn}} bloody chunks]] more than once that way. * One classic source of ''NetHack'' [=YASDs=] is the cockatrice corpse: Alive, the cockatrice is dangerous because one touch will start turning you to stone unless you take preventive measures. Once killed, however, the corpse will ''instantly'' turn you to stone if you pick it up without gloves, trip over it, fall down a flight of stairs while holding it, etc. Why carry the thing at all? Well, what it can do to you, it can also do to opponents, making it one of the most dangerous weapons in the game. Many, many foolish players have chosen power over good sense, leading to Yet Another Stupid Death. ** Polymorph trapped into a Dragon. Ok, losing my nice armor sucks, but there are worse things to polymorph into. See a cockatrice, ok, I can usually handle these in a couple hits. You bite the cockatrice. You turn to stone. Would you like your possessions identified? ** The ''Sokoban'' level, while rewarding, involves pushing a lot of boulders, and a message is added to the message window every time you push one a single square. This tends to drown out other messages... such as messages warning you that you're about to pass out from hunger while your backpack's full of food. ** Yet Another ''{{Nethack}}'' example: [[@/{{G-Mon}} This troper]] was once playing as an elven Wizard who started with a wand of sleep. There was an enemy monster directly north of my starting position. The wall was close enough for me to be hit by the sleep ray's rebound. I forgot that elves don't get sleep resistance for a few levels. That Wizard was dead before she woke up. This later inspired me to contribute to a line in [[http://nethackwiki.com/wiki/Lessons_learned_the_hard_way "Lessons

Learned the Hard Way"]]. *** [[@/{{G-Mon}} Me]] again. This time my Wizard's pet cat did her in while she was wearing a ring of conflict (makes monsters attack other monsters--and you--indiscriminately). Couldn't take it off because it was cursed (to be fair, I did try to check this beforehand) and had no way to uncurse it. I did try to uncurse it using [[NoodleImplements a partially-ID'd wand]], but it wasn't the one I thought it was. ** ''{{Nethack}}'' creates a lot of these, doesn't it? [[@/{{INUH}} This Troper]] just died, then immediately afterward, realized he knew a healing spell that, had he cast it after the previous fight, almost certainly would have saved him. ** Another from the same troper: I got a wish, so I reverse-genocided Krakens to gain easy xp. I was level two. I reached level six before discovering that just because they mostly don't attack back when out of water doesn't mean they ''never'' do. ** Level four. Killed by a wild [[{{ptitlebwhmt6p47cy5}} kitten]]. Nuf said. ** {{Tropers/JBridge}} here. {{Tropers/Solstace}} relayed this story to me in [[TroperIRCChannel #yackfest]]. --> Solstace: My death on my farthest character was a tad ironic, though. --> [=JBridge=]: What happened? --> [=JBridge=]: YASD? --> Solstace: So, I quaffed a smoky potion and got a wish. --> Solstace: This was on the first floor, mind you. --> Solstace: So I wished for an Archon figurine. --> [=JBridge=]: And? --> Solstace: My Archon would kill shopkeepers, and I'd loot the shops for comestibles, --> [=JBridge=]: Nice. --> Solstace: and eventually built a small pet army. --> Solstace: Then I ran out of food, because my pets would eat it before I could pick it up. --> Solstace: I starved to death. --> Solstace: ... ** I had something similar in an {{Angband}} variant. In common with most of the variants with vampires, you could heal for free if you bit your enemy, but only if you were hungry. So to exploit this I kept myself just a little hungry. Cleared the level, was hungrier than I thought, became weak from hunger, didn't reach the stairs in time. ** This troper has had two: one indirect one, from putting ''all'' of his equipment into a Bag of Holding (including the [[AntiMagic Wand of Cancellation]]), thus causing all of it to disappear, and one by attempting to Genocide [[GoddamnedBats Liches.]] With a Scroll of Genocide, whose BUC was unknown. At level 3. [[CurbStompBattle Guess how]] [[MagicMisfire that one ended?]] ** Back when this troper played Nethack, he had a large number of these. The most notable, however, came when his character was facing a swarm of soldier ants (of course). He wasn't too worried, because his character was level nine or so, but just to make sure nothing bad happened he fought the ants in front of a doorway, so he could face them one at a time. The following messages ensued:

--> You hit the giant ant! The giant ant misses. --> You kill the giant ant! --> You miss the giant ant. The giant ant hits! --> You kill the giant ant! --> You kill the giant ant! --> You hit the floating eye! You are frozen by the floating eye's gaze! (Troper, yelling: WHAT THE HOLY HELL???) --> (After a little time) The ogre hits! The ogre hits! The ogre misses. The ogre hits! The ogre hits! The ogre hits! You die... *** Apparently, when you aren't paying attention, a lowercase blue a and a lowercase blue e look pretty similar. * [[@/EddieVanHelsing This troper]] has one from playing ShinMegamiTenseiNocturne. He faced the Matador while equipped with a magatama that was vulnerable to wind magic, and with an active party full of demons who were also vulnerable to wind. He knew better, because he had the frigging spoiler book. He just wanted to indulge in a SelfImposedChallenge. ** Yeah, so [[ThatOneBoss Matador]] just isn't the guy on whom to be trying out [[SelfImposedChallenge self-imposed challenges]] (god forbid on Hard mode). But you know this. *** Actually, it ''was'' on hard mode. I usually don't bother with the "normal" mode unless it's the only way to unlock hard mode. Of course, when I tried facing [[ThatOneBoss Matador]] with the wrong party, I got spanked in the first round. ** [[@/{{Chadius}} My]] first real Nocturne experience was on hard mode. Nothing better than walking into a dungeon I completed 10 levels ago and getting ambushed and GameOver'd in the first round. Right, my demons are weak to fire and I went to a fire dungeon... *** Now that I think about it, every dungeon starts like this: Enter dungeon, get in fight, get spanked because my team is weak to their main element/insta kill spell on the hero/5 crits on a row against the hero before I get a turn (!!!), rebuild party. * This troper's main character in WorldOfWarcraft is a druid, and as a result, I died a ''ridiculous'' number of times from falling when I shapeshifted out of Flight Form with the intention of shifting back before hitting the ground. ** Did you manage to shift back, only to crater anyway? *** On a related note, I've lost count of the amount of times I've mounted up to fly off somewhere, then realised half way to death that I am riding a tiger, NOT a gryphon. * splat* *** The above tale is why @/{{Ripsaw}}'s main characters on any given server are Engineers. Parachutes attached to cloaks are shiny when you make that style of mistake. ** This troper once ''fell off the island of teldrassil''... She hit a rock or a branch or ''something'' sticking out of the side of the island about halfway down and died. She then tried to corpse run back, in hopes of getting her body and hearthing out, but she accidentally hit an arrowkey and the next thing she knew, she was falling again. As a ghost. Hit the water, sat there for about five minutes not knowing what to do (didn't know about the town on the other side of the base of the island at the time, dunno if it would have helped anyway) and finally had to be rescued by a GM.

*** Oh, and there was that time she fell into a pit of acid, with dinosaurs in it. To this day she doesn't know if she died from drowning, fire/acid damage, or being eaten by diemetradons. *** On a related note, [[Tropers/FuriKuri I]] was in Loch Modan, I think, and found the dam at the end. I decided it was a perfectly sensible idea to jump off the dam. What do you think happened? ** Main reason healers die in party runs: "Phew, the tank is safe, the rest of the party is on max, everything is perfe-- WAIT I DIED???". This is why this troper plays Holy Priest. Returning as Spirit of Redemption after dieing is useful. *** This holy priest troper did exactly that in the deadmines: got [=HPs=] whittled down to about 3 without noticing while keeping everyone else on full, somehow aggroed a pirate and his pet, tank pulled the pirate off... and I was oneshotted by the parrot. A ''parrot!'' That is what happens when you pay attention to everyone's health but your own. ** When this troper plays [[WorldofWarcraft WoW,]] she tends to ignore quests and dungeons in favor of exploring mountains. It's a good thing druids in cat form take less fall damage, or else I'd have died many more times than I actually have. * A friend of this troper was playing ''GrandTheftAuto III'' some years back, and after completing the mission that repair the bridge to Staunton Island, went to cross it. However, inexperienced as he was with the style of bridge--the middle section is lifted straight up, rather than the halves of the bridge lifting up in an angle--he was unable to recover and plunged into the drink below. Before he had gone off the edge, however, he hadn't really been paying attention (hence why he went off), and so had built up a good head of steam, causing him to fly so far as he fell that he actually got the loading screen for the next area...before coming back and finishing his splashdown. As he said: -->"CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--Welcome to Staunton Island.-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" * This troper was playing ResidentEvil 4, and in the mine area -you know, the one with two Dr. Salvadors? - she went, killed one Salvador, then took a minute to break open some barrels for treasure. A minute later - "VRMMMM""AHHH!"* Leon's head goes thunk on the ground* ** In the same game, this troper was killed several times by Salazar's instant death attack on his first play-through, and it went something like this: '''1)''' What the heck is he--HOLY SHIT! '''2)''' ''(after looking up how to know when the attack is coming, aiming the rifle)'' Hold ''still'' you little--uh...oh crap that's it--! * DEATH* '''3)''' OK, staying in the middle is getting me hit with a lot of attacks, let's try from the side, [[TemptingFate I can probably survive the few seconds his head is off screen]]. * turns around* * DEATH* '''4)''' Yeah, staying on the side of the room is much easier, just gotta shoot the tentacle every now and then. Oh, speak of the devil. I'll just shoot this bugger and--[[RuleOfThree * DEATH* ]] '''5)''' ''No fair killing me while I'm in the middle of reloading, you prick!'' * This troper recalls a rather embarassing moment in ''PopNMusic'' when he got to nearly the end of the song, thought it was over, forgetting that the song has a few more notes. His LifeMeter promptly

fell to just below the required amount needed to clear the song. Cue FacePalm. * I'm playing Half Life 2, and I'm at the stage where you are fighting through the Overwatch Nexus. I come up to a turret and an overturned table. I dash to take cover by the table, and lob a grenade, trying to aim at the turrets weak spot. Well, what ends up happening is the grenade bounces straight off the edge of the turret, and onto the table. The blast knocks the table clear over my head, leaving me exposed to the turret, which promptly slaughters me. It was easily the most unlucky thing I have ever unwittingly pulled off in the game. * [[@/{{Kitsunezeta}} This troper]] has died in more blatantly stupid ways in Spelunky than he cares to admit, including but not limited to [[GoddamnedBats rape by bats]], [[YouFailPhysicsForever getting hit by an dart after it ricocheted]], [[DemonicSpider being thrown repeatedly against a wall by the same enemy]], [[OneHitPointWonder landing on a spike]], and one case of [[BeyondTheImpossible all of the above at the same time]]. needless to say, modding the game to have explosions on the main character's death made it more enjoyable. ** My personal favorite (and by favorite I mean MADDENING) Spelunky deaths are as follows: Standing on an edge, jumping and firing the shotgun to kill a bat, and then being thrown onto some spikes from the recoil; accidentally throwing the dice into the shopkeeper while rolling them; jumping to reach an idol, missing, and falling to my doom onto a spike pit; and falling off the edge, getting shot by TWO arrow traps on the way down, and landing stunned on the floor only to get run over by an angry caveman until I died. ** [[@/MikeRosoft This troper]] can name two: *** I was running out of time, but decided to loot a treasure chest before exiting. The chest was located at an acove at the bottom-left corner of the level, and as I was opening it, a ghost appeared right next to me, conveniently blocking the only way to escape. *** I saw a caveman jump up on a spike trap. I thought to myself: "interesting means of suicide" ... before impaling myself on another set of spikes. *** Here's another: I shot a pot with a shotgun (they occasionally contain monsters, so throwing them around in order to break them isn't exactly advisable). Moments later, I came across a shop, thought to myself: "I am running out of rope, let's buy some, and perhaps climbing gear while I'm at it" ... before being shot dead by the shopkeeper. (The previous shotgun blast had hit him.) ** One of the stupid deaths ever: ''Attaching a sticky bomb to '''[[Tropers/CrazedNinja yourself]]'''''. And this was after I got both the jetpack and the shotgun without attacking any merchants. I was pretty mad. ** During the final battle against the giant head, [[@/{{Icarael}} I]] managed to stay alive, thanks to my jetpack, by sitting atop it and throwing bombs down. When he started summoning monsters to aid him, I jumped away from them... and hit the floor hard, allowing a spider to smack me to death. * This troper, while playing ''{{Arcanum}}'' was at a point in the game where she had to complete a side quest by entering a cave and throwing a sword into a burning pit to destroy it, ala

''LordOfTheRings''. She attempts to toss the sword into the pit, misses, and instead hits her poor little dwarf wizard companion, killing him instantly. This causes Magnus and that elf chick, both good-aligned characters, to immediately turn on her character and start attacking. This troper could not stop laughing as she was trying to run away, all the while shouting that it was an accident. * The Mega Man 9 demo. Remember those little things that fly out of each pit and basically kill you unless you stop or shoot first? [[@/{{Case}} This Troper]] lost ''more than a continue worth of lives'' before passing the first pit. He still bought the full game despite\because of that. * Ever think in a game that you've got to handle the average mook in the most over-the-top fashion possible? I tried it plenty of times in Uncharted, often diving straight into a group of grunts armed with assault rifles, shotguns and grenade launchers, and trying to kill them all with my fists...guess who won that battle? Hint: Not me. ** Or the few times I played Ocarina of Time when I randomly attacked the chickens...little did I know that my death would be swift. * On this tropers first play through of Left 4 Dead she was following her brother up a ladder when he yelled 'Witch!' and jumped back down. This troper, who had not yet realize that the witch was a special type of zombie, promptly slapped the witch and died. * I'm playing Knights of the Old Republic and I'm in the Rakatan Temple, which is near the end. I get to a computer terminal and access the security cameras. I then get the option to overload the terminal and say yes. Result? Three extra crispy characters and a 'your party has been killed' screen. And this is that last section of the game - I should have KNOWN better... * ''ThunderForce IV'': "Hey, is that flashing orange thing a powerup?" * dies of bullet-y death* "[[UnusualEuphemism FDASFDS!!]]" * During a round of ''Quake Live'', this troper sniped someone who was about to use the {{BFG}} with his railgun. Promptly thereafter, he backed into a pit of red liquid, killing himself and negating the frag. * Ever accidentally use Growl or Leer instead of Tackle or Scratch in your first [[{{ptitlei015gc004kw4}} Pokémon]] battle? Doing that even once can result in your leading 'mon fainting, you know. * And yes, I've died at the [[SuperMarioBros first Goomba]]. More than once. ** The first time I coherently remember playing ''VideoGame/SuperMarioLand'', I thought the Goomba [[{{Expy}} expies]] were mushrooms. ** [[Tropers/DeathToSquishies This troper]] has fallen victim to more than a few deaths by sheer dumb luck in Mario games. Once, he was playing ''SuperMarioGalaxy2'', and he practically cleared [[spoiler:Grandmaster Galaxy's "The Perfect Run"]] on only the 8th try... except that the very last Boomerang Bro. he needed to kill just CONVENIENTLY HAPPENED to jump on the one infinitesimally minute space that he was standing on. Cue a Wii Remote in the wall and another 20 attempts. * Hey, let's set up a neat stack in ''{{Tetris}}: The Grand Master''! And then [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmiBVx6UN5Y undo my efforts

by plugging up the shaft for the I-block!]] ** [[http://img37.imageshack.us/img37/238/0001w.png The same stupidity]], now in Sega ''Tetris'' with many times less gravity! * Okay, hands up if you actually [[TemptingFate tested the message]] in the one safe room in IWannaBeTheGuy. If you didn't raise your hand, you're a liar. * [[@/{{onyhow}} This troper]] once plays NetHack, and he got hold of an unidentified amulet. Since he's scared of it being strangulation and he just used up his pray a few turns ago due to accidentally getting food poisoning, and there's no altar around to do BUC check, so he just left it in his pocket. Then, a few turns later, he got killed by a rothe. What's the amulet? ''Life Saving!'' If he's just not make mistake of using that pray, he might survive this! * One ''FightingFantasy'' death: Jumping through an opening you've just been watching a golem stick fiery rocks through. You can guess what happens next. * This troper was once playing a NancyDrew game, and was wandering around outside looking for clues. I saw a pond, and went to step into it - WHOOPS! That was actually a CLIFF! As the game said "Goods news: it wasn't a very large cliff. Bad news: ''it was still a cliff''." ** Another troper was playing a NancyDrew game, and was wandering around inside the elevator shaft and the connecting areas, trying to figure out how to get to the room she wanted. There was a huge [[BottomlessPits bottomless pit]] with a ladder on the side. Upon clicking on the ladder, Nancy would repeatedly say "I'm not sure if I can make it." After about ten clicks, she finally jumped--and fell. This troper tried to jump across that pit several times before she figured out that she needed to find another way across. * What, no DwarfFortress? I once tried to build a build a dwarvern fluid logic computer [[{{Pride}} using magma]]. [[PrideBeforeAFall There was a memory leak]]. [[IgnoredEpiphany I've already started on my next attempt]]. * This troper used a [[NetHack wand of cancellation]] on himself to see what "cancellation" does. [[spoiler:Cue + 0 weapons and armor, plain scrollbooks, and clear potions later.]] Subverted in that he's not dead ''yet'', he just doesn't know what to do now. * My brother was playing the 2nd to last mission in CallOfDuty 4 and was in the elevator. He tried to toss a grenade through the door, but it bounced off the door. He spent the next 5 seconds futally trying to get rid of this grenade by throwing it at the wall. * [[SarcasmMode Not that NetHack has been mentioned yet]], but this troper once had a game in which he found two wands of wishing, before the castle, and died by [[WhoWouldBeStupidEnough accidentally taking off a ring of levitation]] instead of another item and drowning. * [[@/{{Gigaspine7}} This troper]] tried to [[WalkIntoMordor explore Ogrimmar.]] His character was a Night Elf. Cue the guards killing him and a Tauren attempting to corpse camp. ** This Blood Elf player wanted to try and get the white kitten from the little boy in Stormwind (the human capital). She swam all the way to the port... It all went well until the guards (and the FRICKIN' WAR MACHINES) saw her. Oh, and she was level 30 at the time. * Playing through [[HalfLife Half-Life 2]], [[Tropers/ARandomSerf this

troper]] tried to use the gravity gun to carry a car axle through a door for future use as a weapon. The door closed before I had gotten my cargo through, and the axle got stuck in the door. A few seconds of struggling later, the door opened, and a quirk of the physics engine resulted in the axle shooting forward with enough force to take my head off. And that's not even getting into all the times I've cut myself in half whilst attempting to carry a rotary blade through Ravenholm. ** Same troper. I was playing ResidentEvil4 just now, having fun with the various unlockable super-weapons. After dispatching the second El Gigante (the one you can drop boulders on), I decided to blow down the second wooden door with the [[FrickinLaserBeams Plagas Removal Laser]]. Unfortunately, the PRL automatically fires at any and all viable targets within range...and Ashley and I happened to be standing directly beneath the second boulder trap. -->'''Plagas Removal Laser:''' * fires a beam upward* -->'''Me:''' Wha--[[ThisIsGonnaSuck Aw, shit.]] -->'''Boulder:''' Squish. * [[Tropers/{{Dallenson}} This troper]] was playing the mission "Uboat warfare" on ''1914 Shell's of fury'' thinking that they were unarmed, I decided to surface to take them on with the deck cannon, until... --> Disguised Battleship cannons: *THUMP, THUMP* --> Dallen: What was tha-- [[{{Oh crap}} Aww shit]] --> *BOOM* ** Not it though I was also trying to take out some Battle ships while under the surface, I let My guard down and turned the periscope to see one of the battle ships attempting to ram my sub. --> Dallen: [[{{Clusterfbomb}} Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh]] [[{{Cursecutshort}} FU---]] --> *CRUNCH* ** Once more Jason Ecker told me that My sub would sustain a good depth, the increased creaking of the hull made Me nervous --> Dallen: Are you sure its a good idea --> Jason: Yes I-- (See's the hull icon turing orange) {{Oh Crap}}! --> Game: Your sub was destroyed by exceeding the depth limit --> Dallen: Told You ** A [[{{Pokemonmysterydungeon}} Mystery Dungeon: Sky]] experience. Im telling you, using A move in a hallway, confused is strictly not a good idea, --> Dallen used Reversal --> Move missed --> Abomasnow used Swagger --> Dallen's Sp. Atk rose --> Dallen was confused --> Dallen used reversal --> Sparky took 147 damage --> Sparky was defeated ** It didnt help that 1: Sparky's maximum HP was below the damage reversal dealt 2: most of our HP was gone from a freaking monster house 3: reversal does more damage based on the lower HP is 4: Swagger increase my Special Atk. * Or how about [[Tropers/{{AmewFox}} This Troper's]] early playing of

{{Pokemon Mystery Dungeon}}:Explorers of Time? -->Drowzee(male) used Confusion! -->A critical hit!! -->Mudkip took 46 damage! -->Oh no! Mudkip was defeated! ** And I thought that only happened in {{Fire Emblem}}. * This troper, whist playing through Imperishable Night managed to get killed by the stage one (mid-)boss by being exactly where she arrives on-screen, before a single bullet is fired. Why was that? Power-ups and points came before safety. ** [[MemeticMutation Wriggle Kick!]] * [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VNrkaqkR-s YAMAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!]] * This troper was playing around in Garry's Mod and decided to make a vehicle out of a large bronze horse statue. While trying to weld the seat to the statue, I sort of forgot I was standing between the two. Cue a large bronze statue flying across the room to meet a seat and pulverizing the poor stupid sap in the way. ** Hey, I can lift stuff with the physgun while standing on it! Whee! Cue object tearing through my fragile body at terminal velocity, resulting in instant death. * When this troper got the Cain for the first time in [[MassEffect Mass Effect 2]], he somehow forgot the fact that it creates a miniature nuclear explosion and tried shooting at a Scion a few feet away. Kind of an embarassing end for Commander Shepard. ** That one's actually pretty reasonable, as the Cain has an invisible blast radius far larger than its explosion would suggest. As the only way to find this out the hard way. HilarityEnsues. * [[@/{{Rossmallo}} This Troper]] was trying out the new Dungeoneering skill in {{Runescape}}. I came up to a puzzle that involved some fishing. "Oh, cool, Lemme just get my fishing rod. Cue me walking back to the shop, getting sidetracked and almost getting killed by monsters en route. Eventually, though, I got back to the room with the fishing spots. "FINALLY. Nothing to kill me in here" I thought, then started fishing. My character then spazzed out and died. Reading the chatbox, I saw "You have a hilarious fishing accident that you would have told your grandchildren some day, had it not killed you.". Needless to say, I was a bit embarrassed. Still, doesn't quite beat the time one of my friends messed up on a bit of crafting and seemingly slipped so badly he impaled his throat with his chisel and died. * This Troper has a habit of being a lemming on Timesplitters, but this entry was accidental: I was playing on a mapmaker level where the goal is to wipe out all the enemies while five floors above them. He was one person away from victory...and stepped too far forward in my attempt to kill the last enemy with a gas canister and fell to his death. He did this FOUR TIMES! He has also ran into his own proximity mines too many times to be funny. * Rare tabletop version: [[@/SabresEdge this troper]] has heard a story in [[DungeonsAndDragons D&D-3.5e]] wherein a certain pyromaniac wizard had come into the habit of blasting absolutely everything with Scorching Rays and/or Fireballs. That worked well until they hit an oddly cold room covered with brown fungus...which he proceeded to Fireball for the hell of it. As it turns out, Brown Mold absorbs heat

and expands exponentially in the presence of flame. [[TooDumbToLive Human]] [[HumanPopsicle popsicles]] [[TotalPartyKill ensue]]. ** Oh, have another tabletop one to keep it company. Character wanted a hat for a disguise, knew the people who wore them had cranial bombs which blew them up if they died. Saw one of them dying after being shot and falling off his motorcycle, ran to get the hat. As if running at a human bomb lying on a fuel tank wasn't bad enough, said character was the one carrying demolition charges. The rest of us ran away and later failed to find anything identifyable to bury. ** Have a third: Wandering through an ancient, part-flooded Aes Sedai research facility from the [[WheelOfTime Age of Legends]], my party stumbled across a swift-running stream, with a collapsed bridge. Being the biggest, strongest member of the party, I volunteered to brace myself at the halfway point so the others could cross. Unfortunately, through a combination of poor rolls, the ''two'' heaviest party members were swept off their feet and knocked my character over. So far, survivable, yes? Well, the stream fed into a series of small tunnels, filled with incredibly fast flowing water, so all three of us were fired along the Flume of [[DoomyDoomsOfDoom Doom]], and mostly passing out along the way, before being deposited in a deep pool by the BigBad's evil [[ElaborateUndergroundBase underground lair]]. Worse, but sill survivable, if my character hadn't landed face up, wearing mail and half-plate, with a massive steel shield on his back. ''While unconscious''. The moral? Chain mail is not swimwear... ** As a regular player of CallofCthulhu, this troper has plenty of stupid tabletop deaths. A few of the highlights: one of this troper's friends failed a dexterity check to walk down a flight of stairs in the dark. He tripped and fell, knocking himself out. The stairs didn't technically kill him tough. The fact that he was unconscious when the monster in the basement came out did. Later in that same adventure this troper almost caused TotalPartyKill when he decided to burn down the house. Probably should have done that after the party left... however, only this troper's character died, largely due to a HeroicSacrifice on his part that allowed the rest of the party to break down the door and escape. In a later adventure, this troper found a horrible mutant living in the basement of cultist's house. This troper did at least leave the house before burning it down...only to see a flaming mutant emerge from the rubble of the house and charge at him. It didn't end there though: this troper and his friends managed to kill the monster, but as it died it cast a spell (which only had a 5% chance of success) to summon Yog-Sothoth. The spell succeeded, and not only was the whole party wiped out, thousands died when You-sothoth went on a rampage around the city. [[WhatTheHellHero Oops]]. * On my first playthrough of ''BeyondGoodAndEvil'' I was playing aggressively, taking out the Alpha Sections whenever possible. Naturally, when I went to sneak into the Alpha Sections headquarters, I [[TooDumbToLive tried attacking the guards]]. (And that was after [=DoubleH=] warned me that should the guards notice me, I'm [[strike:as good as]] dead.) * While playing ''{{Nethack}}'', I ran into some slime monsters who proceeded to kick my ass. In panic, I read a random unidentified

scroll I had with me... and was teleported to safety! Yoohoo! ...Then, [[IdiotBall for no reason whatsoever]], I proceeded to go back to where the slime was hiding (even though there were other, safe routes). Of course, I died... ** Again in the CallofCthulu, after many times playing this game I decided to demonstrate how to win... by making a blind quadriplegic, because he was unable to leave his apartment and unable to see the shambling horrors he outlived every other character... eventually starving after he ran out of food and was unable to leave and get himself more. * [[Tropers/PentiumMMX2 This troper]], when playing [[TheElderScrolls Oblivion]], had an instance of this early in the game. Standing on the second floor of a fortress I stumbled upon, I looked down and though "Hey, this isn't too high up; instead of taking the stairs, I can simply jump down and keep going!". Obviously, that decision lead to one really stupid death. * ''{{DeathSmiles}}''. Item counter at [[{{Cap}} 1,000]]. Okay, time for SuperMode...oh crap wrong buttons! And I just lost my last HP. FML. * ''Persona3'' has a very intense final boss battle, as anyone whose played it can tell you. It's made significantly harder if you, like this troper, make an [[TooDumbToLive utterly boneheaded mistake]] 95% of the way in. Sure, use the "massive, unblockable damage to all monsters" spell, that'll really show... er, wait, she didn't put up a reflective attack barrier, did she? Right? I'm not going to [[TotalPartyKill insta-kill my entire party]]... [[OhCrap am I? ._.]] * This troper has killed [[TombRaider Lara Croft]] SO MANY TIMES by getting distracted from the game for a second and jumping straight off a cliff. * ''DesktopDungeons'' death #15: The boss is Super Meat Man. I pray to Jehora Jehu, requesting the Polymorph miracle (hoping for an easier boss). I get... the Iron Man, who has 75% Magic Resistance. ''I'm playing a Wizard.'' In the name of an honorable demise, I throw myself at him anyway. * This troper lost count of how many times he rammed into a bullet while trying to pick up an UFO in [[TouhouProject Undefined Fantastical Object]]. That game just ain't for him. * When AmericasArmy introduced vehicles, one of the few commands added was a Buckle/Unbuckle Seatbelt command. The in-game Army instructor is quite insistent about buckling up before you take that humvee out for a spin against the Opfor. You can [[GenreSavvy probably guess]] what this troper didn't do. Fortunately for his pride, the game doesn't show an AI commanding officer writing a condolence letter about how my highly trained Special Forces character died by failing to put into practice what every five year old knows about car safety. * TombRaider IV: Lara was atop a platform overlooking a very deep pit, and needed to make a series of difficult rope-jumps in order to access a platform on the opposite side of the room. Recognising the challenge, I saved the game before making the first jump. I then jumped, successfully grabbed the first rope, and saved again, ''over'' the save I'd just made. Now, when Lara is clinging to a rope in Tomb Raider IV, one needs to hold the action button down; if one lets go of

the action button, Lara lets go of the rope. And when one loads a saved game, of course, one is not holding the action button down. And it turns out that if one loads a level with Lara in mid-air, she immediately enters her "OhCrap I'm falling too fast and I can't grab onto anything I'm doing to die ahh" stance... and dies. * I've learned from personal experience that rockets are not close range weapons. ** Define "personal experience". You're well enough to post on TV Tropes, right? ** [[TeamFortress2 False.]] * [[{{Tropers/Muramasan13}} This troper]] has a good one for DwarfFortress. Just because glass is magma-safe, and [[spoiler: demons]] can live in magma, doesn't mean it's a good idea to make an "Infernarium". FinaglesLaw dictates that containment ''will'', somehow, be breached. * [[@/ElodieHiras I]] died often in stupid ways in lots of video games: ** SWAT 4: Hitting a suspect with the less-lethal shotgun. Reloading. Having an ennemy pop up and shooting while I was reloading. ** A classic one: Rocket launcher... [[{{Too dumb to live}} At pointblank range]]! *** Alternatively, having a [[{{Artificial Stupidity}} Teammate]] crossing my line of fire while using it. ** {{Freedom Fighters}} Killing nearly all ennemies, including a {{Giant Mook}} with a {{BFG}}, ending up near [[{{Critical existence Failure}} dead]]. No prob, [[{{Heal Thyself}} Medic Kit]] coming up! Messing with weapon selection, selecting the molotov instead, killing myself with it, or getting killed by a stupid soldier with his weak {{AKA 47}}. Happens to me all the time. ** Swinging his {{Emergency Weapon}} while moving, and accidentally hitting a [[{{Exploding Barrels}} barrel]]. * This troper was playing ''{{Galaga}} '88''. He decided to upgrade his dual ship to the [[InfinityPlusOneSword triple ship]] by having it captured...but upon capture he noticed that he had ''no lives left.'' * The roguelike ''IVAN'' eats rookies alive with these. Such arcane concepts as lightning bolts reflecting off hard surfaces, monster corpses that are NOT edible, zombies carrying contagious diseases, and chain-reaction explosions have left a body count to make WW2 look like a frat-party brawl. * [[Tropers/KatanaCat This Troper]] decided to play a round of ''Nethack''. She played as a female gnomish Archeologist named Kitzeh... and died on level 1, killed by a sewer rat. The next game wasn't much better - she fought a [[MadeOfExplodium gas spore]] and was caught in the explosion, then rested in an attempt to heal, and a kobold zombie wandered into the room. Killed the kobold zombie, then found that it had another gas spore following it. You can see [[YourHeadASplode where this is going]]. * While playing ResidentEvil4, I tried to stock up on supplies and take them out with a full arsenal as best I could. After ~2 minutes of looting the room, I stand my ground ready to fight, where one of the druids throws his sickle through his team members and cut off my head. Oddly enough [[{{HilarityEnsues}} Hilarity Ensued]]

* Note to self- [[HalfLife2 not every game allows]] [[RocketJump Rocket Jumps]]. * [[@/SabresEdge This troper]] has lost track of the number of times in the freeware shooter ''[=BZFlag=]'' when a long-range shot misses its target and a wayward ally blunders into the path of the bullet (worse, into the path of a ricochet). Since the server I play on discourages {{Griefer}}s by killing anyone who teamkills, I've lost track of the number of lives I lost because somebody didn't check their radar system. * Overloading computer terminals in KnightsOfTheOldRepublic is a good way to clear out enemy-filled rooms from across the map. It's also a good way to cause a TotalPartyKill if you overload the terminal you're ''standing in front of.'' * This Troper got killed by the boat physics in Two Worlds 2. He was sailing, minding his own buisness, and suddenly saw a large island he had never noticed before. He couldn't resist the mystery of it all and had to explore it, he sailed out of the water, onto the sand of the island and got out of his little boat. For some reason, the boat decided it didn't like the ground and flew about thirty meters into the air, did two backflips, and smashed into This Troper's head, killing him. * This troper, while fighting a mob of unidentified enemies in ''StrangeJourney'', decided to use Rock Bullet, a Gun-elemental skill that hits an enemy with a chance of Stone status. Why is this a bad move to use on unknown enemies? Well, suppose the enemy repels Gun attacks, causing Rock Bullet to bounce back at you, leaving ''you'' with a chance of Stone status (and, this being a ''ShinMegamiTensei'' game, your death or petrification [[WeCannotGoOnWithoutYou is an instant Game Over]] even if your demons are still intact). Guess how this troper learned this lesson? * This troper was excitedly rushing out of his ''{{Minecraft}}'' home for his first experiment with dynamite when he noticed that the door had failed to open. He soon realized that he had accidently clicked through the door’s tiny window, placing the dynamite on his front porch. Attempting to open the door and examine the problem, he managed to click through the window again and activate the dynamite. * ''{{EarthBound}}''. At around age 10 or 11. Frank. How do you lose to this WarmUpBoss? AttackAttackAttack ** {{@/Icarael}} once tried to escape three [[RandomEncounters Sharks goons]] at around Level 5. They caught up with me. And I was facing away from them. Cue ambush and CurbStompBattle. * Inversion: In {{Dissidia}} 012, I was fighting [[FinalFantasyII The Emperor]] in [[FinalFantasyX Tidus']] story mode, when this happened (I was in EX Mode, by the way): I used Energy Rain to reflect one of his Flares back at him; later on in the fight he successfully hit me with another Flare. Cue the Flare that I reflected hitting him, [[spoiler: ''allowing me to defeat him with my EX Burst.'']] * Funny story. Well, it's not funny at the time, but I'm sure it will be sometime in the future. I've been reading this page and was thinking how lucky I am, that in my 10+ years of playing video games I've had hardly any deaths that can really be called YASD. I decided to take a break from reading and go play Minecraft. An absolutely

wonderful spelunking adventure ensued, with me finding TONS of gold and redstone, and two(!) dungeons. I also found a ton of lava. I have a thing about surrounding lava with glass so I can walk on it safely. I happened to be working near a lavafall, and accidentally placed a glass block so it redirected the lava flow- right onto the spot where I was standing. I didn't get out of the way in time. * Happened to this troper in GTA San Andreas. I was having a regular police shootout, and at one point I took out a bazooka and blew up one of their cars. I kept on fighting the cops, but died soon afterwards. How did that happen? The door of the car that I blew up fell on top of me and killed me. It could be an EpicFail, but I was so surprised that I was completely stupefied. My friends that were watching me play never laughed harder. * Last year at Gen Con, [[{{Tropers/Absynthe}} I]] played a HackMaster demo with my kid brother. We were in a small church, and I was a human cleric. He was a halfling rogue. Our party was attacked by zombies. One of them picked up my brother and proceeded to hug him to death; I, being a concerned sister, decided to attempt to take out the zombie instead of turning him. I didn't make the roll, and sent the stone from my slingshot right into my brother's head. He died, and then hit me as hard as he could. * This Troper walked into a MexicanStandoff in {{Fallout 3}} over a fridge of fresh water, with ''very'' little health. I had hoped to use the water to heal the instant I got it, but no dice. From the frames it took to loot the water to get to the Pip-Boy, I had gotten killed. [[ThisIsSparta Very. Little. Health.]] ---Go back to YetAnotherStupidDeath. Hey, I wonder why the ceiling's moving? I'd better stand here for five minutes to investi... ----

YiddishAsASecondLanguage * This Indian (as in the subcontinent) troper will occasionally lapse into this trope, to the annoyance of many actual Jews I know. My favorite variant is using "mazel tov" in combination with SarcasticClapping. * This ''Irish'' troper uses 'oy'. I picked it up from one random episode of SexAndTheCity. You can't beat Yiddish for a language to lament in. ** [[DarkInsanity13 This troper]] ('''Canadian''') says it fairly often, having picked it up from TV. Often combined with "vey" when overwhelmed in some way. She doesn't personally know any Jewish people. *** Would the full phrase be "Oy vey, eh"? (Sorry, couldn't resist) * [[JChance I]] picked up a lot of Yiddish from my mother--who's not Jewish either. Mostly New York Osmosis on her part. * This troper is Norwegian, and tends to use "oy" in the same situations as he'd use his native "Oi!" while speaking English. ** This Norwegian Troper too. * This troper often refers to gentiles(including himself) as "goyim" and has a great admiration for the quality of "chutzpah".

* "Schmuck" "kosher", "chutzpah" and "putz" are parts of this nonJewish troper's vocab. "Already" crops up as a suffix to his sentences fairly often too. Variations on "Oy" are even more frequent, but he maintains he came up with them himself as a mutation of Alfalfa from {{Power Rangers}}' "Ai ai ai!". * This trope seems to be for goyim, but this Jewish troper grew up in a Jewish home, and all 4 of my grandparents have roots in the old country, and spoke fluent Yiddish. My boss spoke it. My rabbi spoke it. All I have are tidbits and phrases. ("Nisht mit der milchig maiser!") * This troper cheerfully uses the permutations of Oy, Schlep, Nudnik, and Schlemiel, cheerfully refers to herself as a goy, knows (sort of) what constitutes treif, and (though it's technically HebrewAsASecondLanguage), when she feels ordered about, will respond with 'Lama mi med?' (literally, 'why, who died?')... and has no Jewish relatives and a very small portion of Jewish friends. ** This israeli troper would like to correct "med" to "met". Met means dead, med doesn't mean anything. But I use Shmuck and Shlep in English, and my hebrew has Fuck sprinkled liberally, even though I find the word hard to say when speaking english. Nudnik is also a Hebrew word, one of the few Yiddish words to actually be adapted in perfect form. My big brother told me I was one today! * This troper (the first one in her family to be born outside of New York City since they came to America three to four generations ago) is so tired after shlepping groceries around for her shlump of a father all day she's about to plotz, but enough with the bortching. Oy vey. * [[SciFiChica This troper]] uses Yiddish regularly just 'cause she likes how it sounds- I live in a fairly rural community, so the only two Jews I've ever met were my two roomates at camp (who are my official [[RefugeInAudacity Token Jewish Friends]]). During a recent Knowledge Bowl practice, two teammates were acting like asshats, so I called them schmucks and said Oy Gevalt very loudly every time they started off being annoying again. When they complained, I simply smiled, looked at the coach, and said "Yiddish is a very good language for expressing disdain with idiots, I'll have to brush up on mine some more before next practice." * This (gentile) troper made a Jewish coworker actually spit-take by coming back from a bad customer and saying. "I! Do NOT! Need! This ''tsuris''!" * There's a FilkSong called [[http://vixyandtony.com/lyrics_siren.html "Siren Song,"]] about life of a professional singer who happens to be...well, a siren. It's very funny, but for this New York Jewish troper, the best part is when the singer (a short willowy redhead about as Jewish as a ham-and-cheese sandwich) sings "Oy, gevalt! For the life of a Siren!" * [[{{Regiment}} This troper]] uses Yiddish fairly often, when it's most descriptive. * [[MochaKimono This troper]] had a Jewish boss insist that I learn Yiddish, for no real reason other than our job was very boring. Before that, I already had a handful of Yiddish words in my vocabulary; I think I picked them up from my dad, who grew up in New England. My mom grew up in Idaho however and is extremely fond of using the words

'putz' and 'schmuck'. * This troper only noticed how much Yiddish is spread through her English when she read the page on Yiddish words in English on The Other Wiki. In all fairness, her native German stole quite a bit (meschugge, shiksa, mishpokhe and so on). ** OBJECTION! Yiddish actually took the words from German; it is a Germanic language, after all, just with some influence from Hebrew and Slavic languages like Polish, just like many words in English are loaned from French, a lot of Finnish words loaned from Swedish, etc. *** Overruled, on two counts: 1) Yiddish never "took" words from German; the two share a common ancestor in Middle High German, wherefrom both take a good deal of vocabulary (although Yiddish did, in fact, liberally borrow directly from German in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, most of these borrowings are considered incorrect in the standard language, and are mostly dead amongst modern Yiddish speakers); and 2) The words the original post lists are all of Hebraic origin anyway. * This troper grew up in New Jersey and didn't realize how much Yiddish was part of her everyday vocab until she moved to rural Tennessee, where exclamations like "Oy vey!" and "A'right already!" and words like "schmutz" or "chutzpah" received strange looks. Funnily enough Yiddish is part of her entire family's everyday speech, even from her very Catholic mother's family and her father's family, which consists mostly of native Midwesterners. * This Sephardic Jew uses Yiddish expressions...I'll give you a thousand points if you can point out what's wrong with this... ** Because Yiddish is Ashkenazi. Give my points, or I'll call you a schmuck! Just kidding. * [[FourtyTwoHz This troper]] thinks 'oy vey' is just fun to say. * [[{{Turtleducks}} This troper]] isn't Jewish at all, and only knows one person who is "Jewish" (she's Catholic, but her mother is Jewish, meaning she's ethnically Jewish), and so has no excuse to say "oy vey" as much as she does. Also, she occasionally (read: all the time) uses the word "schmutz." * [[{{Nausicaa}} This Londoner]], who admittedly picked most of it up from TV shows and the like, peppers her daily speech with Yiddish phrases when she feels like it, but mostly when her BerserkButton is activated. On the internet and in real life, the "oy, [[{{FacePalm}} headdesk]]" combination is rather well-known. * One of this troper's close friends is fond of the phrase "Oy, vey!" She's one of the most serious Catholics he knows, and any connection to her ancestral lands of Germany and Poland are long since severed. * Lol, I've been saying Oy all my life and I just figured out five minutes ago that it was Yiddish. Even more ridiculous is that my mom is Jewish, all my relatives on her side are either from Israel or the Old Country itself, and most of us speak fluent Hebrew. Someone in fourth grade even ASKED me if I spoke Yiddish because of that. And I DIDN'T know Oy was YIDDISH? Am I an IDIOT? ...no, don't answer that question... oy... * [[NotSoBadassLongcoat This goy here]] uses Yiddish words and phrases quite often, mostly to annoy Jews and/or antisemites. --> "Oh, yeah, like it's some kind of great oy vey, I misspell it out

of habit. If someone thinks I'm an antisemite, he's gotta be meshugge. No need to scream 'Oy gewalt' about it." * [[GalenDev This Troper]] is quite Jewish (mostly Ashkenazi, but with some Sephardic family in Israel), and of course I pepper my phrases with Yiddish. * I use some Yiddish words, but I figure: hey, if Yiddish can take a few words from English, surely we can borrow a few back. * I use Oi/Oy a lot, but more because it seems a natural if British way of getting someone's attention, or because Kamina says it, and therefore have been infected. * My grandma picked up a very handy term from some Jewish ladies in her city: blivitz (not sure about the spelling). According to my dad, it means "two pounds of shit in a one pound bag". * This Irish-American uses the occasional Hebrew / Yiddish words and phrases like "oy vey", which I got from A) TV and B) living in an area with a good-sized Jewish population. * This Troper, who has Jewish mother, was quite shocked when she learned that a good amount of her 'gibberish' expressions were in fact Yiddish words. She blames her mom. * [[{{Tropers/AlchemyPrime}} This troper]] born in Southern California and raised as well has a tendency to speak with Yiddish enough that most people think he's Jewish and did a lot of Jewish roles in Drama Club. "Oy vey"s aren't even beginning to get to it. He has a tendency to get a little too schmaltzy though. * [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} This Australian troper of Prussian and Bavarian descent]] has taken to muttering "Oy gevalt" as expressed in AustinPowers by the character Number Two. And he isn't even remotely Jewish. * My father is actually a Cockney, but living in Tottenham (whose FootballHooligans have taken on the mantle of [[AppropriatedAppellation Yid Army]] for a reason) and traveling in Israel have given him an impressive Yiddish vocabulary. Unfortunately, the Cockney accent is ill-suited for forming many Yiddish sounds, so he can be [[{{Understatement}} a bit tricky to understand]] when he speaks the language. He's [[ValuesDissonance especially fond of]] [[http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=schvartze schvartze]]. ---Oy, gewalt! Schlep yourself back to Main/YiddishAsASecondLanguage, already! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YouAllMeetInACell * [[{{Ferrard}} This Troper's]] RP group has a running joke where at the start of every session, someone invariably decrees, "All right, you all wake up tied to a chair." "But I'm a Centaur!" "The chair is tied to you." ** [[{{Ferrard}} This Troper]] has also played in a Convention game where the GM (the game developer himself) spent twenty minutes capturing us and imprisoning us... [[{{ptitlekt6mtovm4vne}} ON A GIANT

HOVERCRAFT]]. * [[{{Tropers/Vilui}} This Troper]] has used the trope successfully. The characters were thrown into a cell together, got out through the floor and spent the first four sessions escaping from the prison complex, then ran into a sticky situation that was resolved by the nephew of the former employer of one of the party taking them into his service, which not only got round the objection that they would have no reason to stick together after escaping, but also led straight into what became the main plot. And [[BookEnds just to tidy things up nicely]], the story ''ended'' with the characters breaking ''back'' into the prison to retrieve a magical artefact that had been hidden there, retrieving it requiring defeating a monster they had fled from in the third session. ---The room begins to spin and you faintly recognize the smell of sleep gas before YouAllMeetInACell ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YouAllMeetInAnInn * This troper has used a variant of it--they don't meet at an inn, but the campaign starts at a very unusual inn, which is what caught their eye and made them decide to set up kip there. ** This Troper's usual RPG group has seen so many newbies come and go who all start their DarkerAndEdgier character introductions with "All right, so I'm sitting alone in a dark corner of the X..." (X being an inn, bar, club, cantina, trans-oceanic steamer...), we've collectively concluded that your average adventurer Ur gathering place was made exclusively of dark corners. Which calls for some fractal, noneuclydian architecture, since inn maps usually have more than 4 tables. Ia ! Ia ! Dark corner ftagh'n ! * [[{{Tropers/Kriegsmesser}} This troper]], an avid [[GameMaster DM]], does the best he can to avoid using this trope in his Fora games, but uses it extensively in his RL games, which are usually [[IndyPloy made up as he goes along]]. His online players have [[JumpedAtTheCall met in a town square]], [[ContrivedCoincidence taken refuge from a storm in the same cave]] (lovingly stolen from a module), and, on one occasion, [[FreudWasRight all woken up naked in strange beds]]. ** Heh, one GURPS campain began with the team waking up naked in matrix-style cocoons. * This troper uses a somewhat broader opening, by having the characters all happen to be in the same town at the same time. Then, he throws monsters at them until they have to work together. * [[{{Tropers/Delcan}} This troper]] has seen a particularly entertaining version used in his weekly D&D game - the characters all ''met'' in a bar, then woke up in the town drunk-tank, unable to remember any specifics about what happened that night... except some horribly embarrassing thing that the person to their left did. The end result is a group of characters amiably putting each other down, and a town constabulary who can make them [[strike:go on adventures]] do community service in exchange for not prosecuting.

* This troper once saw this used in the middle of a campaign. After a previous adventure the team got mostly split up and rendezvoused at an inn at a specific town, with a chance to come up with stories of what happened to each of them during their separate trips there. It also provided a convenient spot for some latecomers to jump into the game. * This troper used to take great pride in never having a campaign or scenario begin in a tavern or inn -- until the players began complaining that he was ignoring tradition (TropesAreNotBad). Now he has a chain of interdimensional taverns at which almost all his campaigns begin, and occasionally, [=PCs=] from one campaign get to make a cameo in a completely unrelated campaign! * Subversion: In this troper's online RPG, her primary character ''lives'' in an abandoned inn. Originally she lived alone, but over the course of the game's progression, she began 'adopting' other characters and giving them rooms. They are referred to as the "inn crowd" and quite a few of their adventures start there simply by virtue of it being the place where they wake up in the morning. (The building itself is known to the players as the character's "Foster Home for Imaginary Heroes.") * RealLife Example (or as close to one as you can get): I met most of my friends in our anime club. ** Wouldn't as close as you can get be meeting in, um... an inn? *** I was thinking the trope was more about everyone meeting each other in one place more than the actually involvement of an inn. * Our DM admitted up front that we were going to all meet in a tavern, and there was going to be a bar fight, and asked us (over our groans) to explain how we got there in our character backgrounds. We all sort of fell into the same place, then a bar fight started...at which point ''[[DoomedHometown the entire city came under attack by demons, and we were the only people to get out alive]]''. ** I can't decide whether to PotHole that to DroppedABridgeOnHim, DoomedHometown, NoKillLikeOverkill, WakeUpCallBoss, or all of the above. *** Given that the campaign plan (unrealized; the game fell apart) was going to have us return to free the city from the demons and the humans who had summoned them, let's go with DoomedHometown. ''clicky'' * The GM this troper plays under has only once had us meet in an inn. Our first game, the party came together one member at a time, as events in their lives caused them to cross paths. In the second, we were all part of a group of survivors fleeing a losing battle. In the third, we met on our first adventure, having each come from a different direction for a different reason, and suddenly meeting other people with related (if occasionally conflicting) reasons for being there. Only in his most recent game did some of the characters meet in the inn/tavern, but when you're all going to the same place for the same event and there's only one affordable inn in town, that's kinda unavoidable. * While we rarely ever met at an inn or a bar, there was a trope going on where we could not enter one without starting getting involved in a fight that will very likely end in the building burning down. * This Troper has just encountered a variation. We started in an Inn, and a mysterious stranger does indeed walk in. He then walks past the

party and into the back room to play cards. One player followed him, then casted a Obscuring Mist and stole the cards. A brawl started, which ended with the destruction of the tavern. We then went to another Inn and approached someone who had just lost their entire ship crew in an explosion... * One member of this troper's gaming group tried to get us to go to a pub to ''play'' D&D, even though our party just kind of wandered into town, picking up a paladin to attack its undead-haunted graveyard, and then settled down to a routine of making Diplomacy checks to get other party members to do stupid things and otherwise pissing off this troper, the DM. * Subversion: This Troper had his party start outside of an inn- And getting arrested by the town guard. Another game had all the players come up with elaborate back stories and whatnot (families, homes, things like that). One player set up his character with a good friend next door named Tav the Smith (with no further elaboration). So, as punishment, the party started at [[IncrediblyLamePun Tav Ernst's]] General Store. * This troper [=GMed=] a campaign where he just started all the [=PCs=] off in a small town, and they naturally gravitated to the Inn. Except one PC, who went to the church... where the priest asked him to deliver a message to the Inn. * This troper played a live action ''Vampire: The Masquerade'' that took place regularly in a nightclub. Once a week, all official action took place in this bar, and eventually the bar owners acknowledged it by having specials for us and planting flyers to promote the game. I actually met the guy that got me involved in a different bar. * And TruthInTelevision, it's a pretty common story in New Orleans to get a job by talking to someone in a bar. Yes, I've heard of people getting jobs in everything from hospitality industry (naturally) to international shipping to non-profit fundraising to television and film. "How'd you get that job?" "From some guy in a bar!" * [[{{Tropers/Night}} This Troper]] has never started a campaign that he's played as part of in an inn. Or at least, one that was still standing. He can't swear to purpose of some of the burned-out or ruined buildings. * This troper, who doesn't play a lot of D&D, has had this happen only three times in his gaming career. The first was a bar owned by a mob dude in a FengShui game that ended up going into shootout mode when a bastard of a lieutenant gunned down my PC's boss, the second was a spacer bar in a StarWars game which led to a chase on speeders, and the third, another StarWars game, had all of our [=PCs=] meeting at a bar on Coruscant with poisonous atmosphere reminiscent of Jekk Jekk Tar from one of the KOTOR games after each one had an action scene where they escaped an attempt on their life. Another game, set in the {{Spelljammer}} verse, had its first scene at a bar, but one, the crew already knew each other through being on the same ship, and two, the crew had gone there for the express purpose of getting a job, {{Firefly}}-style. * The first [=DnD=] campaign this troper participated in was mostly just for kicks and giggles, as none of us (including our newbie DM) really were familiar with how to run a game. But I got to hand it to

him, instead of us just meeting at an Inn, we met by having a ''bar fight'' and then promptly got thrown into jail. The first mission was trying to break out. * This troper met his [[RealLife IRL]] {{Nakama}} at a bar, with the subversion that I was the bartender and that the others ended up working there too. * This troper has deliberately NEVER used the "You All Meet in an Inn" trope, but once accidentally had his PLAYERS spring it on him. In an early game wherein three players all started out in completely different areas, the players used a bit of OOC fudging to arrange things so that their characters were all in the same bar at the same time - and then one of them deliberately started a bar fight that just '''''happened''''' to draw the other two in. * Also subverted with [[{{Tropers/TB}} this troper]], who met his friends at his school's math team. * Not played entirely straight, but the concept of "find suspicious people to get quests from" was invoked by this Troper. He was playing a Half-Orc barbarian who was looking for a sword. So naturally he went to the tavern. In the tavern he found a stange man with long white hair, chuckling to himself. So he took the guy by the shoulder and repeatedly slammed him into the wall while demanding the plot hook. Subverted in that the man had no idea what this troper was talking about, and it wasn't until the man was crying on the floor that he left him alone. * The one time [[Tropers/AuntZelda this troper's]] D&D group actually started in an inn, it ended in disaster and we dropped that thread in favor of a new story. * My DM has averted this. The party are coworkers who work for a company called [=MagicCo=]. Their job is to gather ingredients for potions. Leads to much TeethClenchedTeamWork. * [[Tropers/ManCalledTrue This troper's]] first D&D game started with the party breaking camp in front of the dungeon. It was assumed they met in an inn (and led to a running gag about which of the group was drunk on signing the contract to do the adventure). The third game started in an inn... the day before the zombies attacked the village. * This Troper's [=DMs=] include: "You all meet at an Inn ... for the 5 year anniversary of the end of the war you fought in together." "You all know each other and (PC X) has been given a mission by their mentor that they would like you to join them on" "You suddenly awake, with no memory of where, or even who, you are and see a man slumped over a table. You look over and see the other [=PCs=] looking just as bemused as you ... describe yourselves." and "You're passing an alley when you hear someone being mugged; hey, look, other people are helping too." He has been a PC in games which begin: "You all meet on the ship on the way to the island from which a call for heroes has come." "You're the sole members of the same (Assassins') guild" "You're all tired of your parents telling you what to do and have decided to leave the tribe and follow (points at the most charismatic character's player) HIM!" * This troper has met his 4 best friends in the following ways: a one night stand at at bar, stumbling along lost, drunk and stoned to a dance in first year, frosh group first year and by being a drinking

buddy of a mutual friend. If I wasn't aware of my alcoholism I would be worried. * This troper's [=RPSoc=] had a long-running series of campaigns that traditionally began in the same tavern. As a result, the layout was pretty well established. Normally, when asked where their characters were, and what they were doing, at least one person declares that they're brooding alone in the shadows at one of the 4 corner tables. One year, ''six'' people claimed that (or words to that effect). [[DoubleTake ...Wait, what?]] * This Troper always ignores whatever the DM had planned for the start of the and behaves as if he's at an inn. He usually drops it as soon as the party gets together, but does enjoy musing things like "Why would they allow a bar to be built on the HMS Dreadnaught?". * Four of this troper's games started at some sort of tavern or inn. The first was a FengShui game that didn't get anywhere following the first major fight. The second was a FengShui game that had the characters meeting at a roadhouse in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. The third was a Star Wars game which saw my character meeting a contact at a cantina and getting caught up in the Rebellion during the Dark Times. And the last was a {{Firefly}}-style {{Spelljammer}} game using the Wushu system, which used the trope of our characters (the crew of a ship) heading into a bar to meet a contact about a job. In grand action gaming tradition, all four resulted in a big fight due to bad guys getting all up in our business. * This troper once co-[=GMed=] an Old World of Darkness game where all of the players met in a hotel. The game fell apart before anything more than intimations could happen, but the game was going to take place entirely in the hotel. This was because the players were all dead. The apocalypse had happened, and they- as well as everyone else in the hotel- were either dead, spirits, demons, or angels. The hotel was going to be the gateway to their personal hells, and and how they handled it would partly have effected the rebirth of the world. One player(the only werewolf) had actually figured out he was dead at the end of the last session we played. * [[Tropers/WolfSamurai This Troper]] likes to make jokes at the beginning of every campaign, no matter the system or genre, about meeting in an inn. Then, completely accidentally, the adventure module I decided to use to start my newest DM round... starts off in an inn. Which is then attacked, admittedly, but the amusement factor was not lost on anybody, myself included. * [[{{Tropers/KooriRenchuu}} This troper]] started his first game in which he was the GM in a hostel. This made sense, as the characters were all students in some respect. The way the adventure started was a rumor flying along about a zombie in a nearby town. * This troper's father met one of his old business partners at an Italian restaurant near their college. Dad was a little short, so the other guy spotted him five bucks, and one thing led to another... * This troper absolutely lvoes playing with this one. Players have started in 'mobile inns' tents set up for adventurers to use around a big camp, they've started "Drunk, passed out, robbed and penniless" just outside of inns, and quite possibly my favorite: "You pay the tavern owner for a good night's rest, and head to bed. Some hours

later, you awake to a commotion." Where in the entire session took place in this single inn. ---Go to this inn to go to YouAllMeetInAnInn. ----

YouAreACreditToYourRace * I'm white, so it's not exactly race, but the number of times I've had one of my agnostic or atheist friends comment that I'm so nice that they keep forgetting I'm Catholic... ** I got this too once. Unfortunately, I know too many people who fall under the StopBeingStereotypical category to be surprised or offended. More disappointed. * Back in my WoW roleplaying days someone mentioned that my character was very polite for an undead. Well sure enough I had to hide another elf corpse that day. One day the patrons will wonder why the wine in the wayfarer's rest tastes funny ** Another WoW example - apparently I'm awfully mature for Alliance. * Once, while acting in social training for young autistic people, This (also autistic) Troper had to play a racist man for practice dealing with them. To change things up a bit, he played a AntiNeurotypical guy, instead of a more traditional role. The exact wording of the trope came up. To this day, he's still frightened by how good he actually did it. (For the record, I love you guys.) * Everyone currently living in the Western world can testify to the enormous prejudice against Muslims. It's particularly strong in the United Kingdom. This English troper has a Saudi friend, and his other friends often see no issue in saying he's "really nice for a Muslim." The kicker? Said friend ''doesn't see the issue in this either.''

YouAreAlreadyCheckedIn [[AC:TroperTales]] * Happened to this troper in an airport. The gate attendant told me I could not board because the computer listed me as already on the plane. Even after I offered my original ticket and picture ID, he thought for a really long time before agreeing to double check the list. It turns out that some guy from another flight had checked in at the wrong gate and was occupying my seat, because he decided to change destinations without telling the airline. (Since this was in the more lax, pre-9/11 security environment, he only got sent to his correct flight rather than being arrested. If he had been in a vacant seat he might have gotten away with it.)

YouAreATreeCharlieBrown * This troper, when aged 6, had a starring role in her school play... as a flower. Oddly enough, that was actually her ''biggest'' role in any school plays, the rest of her schoolife being reduced to singing in the choir (Aka; the kids who weren't talented enough to get an

actual part in the play and thus instead sit in the background singing whatever song the teacher chooses in bored deadpan). * This troper recalls a drama class mutiny when the self-appointed leader of a group of six suggested a two-character scene, in which the other four would play a bench and two nearby trees. * This troper was at some stupid multi-troop local Girl Scout event thing where we got broken up into groups of about six, with girls from different troops in each group. Each group had to make up a short skit, and ours involved animals and some vague, Aesop-ish moral. The self-appointed leader made herself and two other people that she seemed to like better animals who were active participants in the plot. The rest of us were immobile plants. I was a bush that the other characters hid behind. I thought being designated a bush was rather douchey on the self-appointed leader's part, but I hated being the center of attention (still do), so it's not like I didn't get some benefit out of it. * This troper remembers her second grade Christmas play. It had 5 speaking roles, but they put 80 kids on stage. The kids who didn't have any lines were dressed as ornaments, presents, and food. * This troper took an acting class in second grade, and volunteered to be a rock in the first play. The rock was actually the center of the play, having the magical power of knocking people out whenever they said it's name. Yeah, we were seven.

YouAreInCommandNow * A favorite example, but admittedly not one this troper was directly involved in: During a {{Dungeons and Dragons}} game, a friend's party was [[StormingTheCastle attacking a fortress]]. In one of the first encounters, they took down all but one soldier, who was immediately named Private Douchery von Douchebag for his refusal to [[WhyWontYouDie just die]]. Long story short, he showed up in just about every other encounter, and apparently survived with little or no GM intervention, going up the ranks every time his unit got wiped out. This ended with him being the only surviving man and declaring himself the Lord High Martial Douchery von Douchebag. * In a work example this Troper has been promoted to manager at three 3 different jobs just by being the only competent person employed after the previous one quits, usually withing 2-3 weeks of being hired. * Happened to This Troper in a {{Warcraft}} 3 LAN game once at a computer club meeting in high school. I didn't have the game and probably didn't have the hardware at home to run it (I was poor, but the school had a well-funded animation lab), but I'd played it once or twice at my mom's (they were divorced and I lived with my dad). I played orcs, since they were the only race I'd ever played (both teams were of mixed race). Then a bunch of my teammates had to quit, and the game kept deciding to put units I'd never heard of under my command. But I was only in this position for a few minutes, since the enemy quit as well. * This Troper was a TA in highschool when the teacher decided to be sick in the middle of the class's Mock UN debates and the substitute

decided to read a magazine. * [[Tropers/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] worked in one of these into one of his stories, where the main character turns command over to his companion in preparation for a XanatosGambit he was about to put into play; in which he'd fake a FaceHeelTurn to get on the villain's good side, allowing him to easily get inside information to relay back to his team. * Happened to this troperette during a TableTopRPG of {{Deadlands}}. Our old Marshal said he was no longer capable of preparing adventures every week, and this troperette suddenly ended up as the Marshal (GM). * This Troper's game group is currently playing a game of {{GURPS}} set in {{Warhammer 40000}} (we started out with DarkHeresy, but our GM decided it was too potentially lethal). My character starts as a psyker Acolyte in the Inqusition (the others are a [[ThePoliticalOfficer Commissar]] and an [[TokenNonhuman outcast Eldar ranger]]). [[MentorOccupationalHazard The Inquisitor got killed]]. I was the only Acolyte. [[YouAreInCommandNow Guess what]] [[TakeUpMySword happened]] [[FieldPromotion next?]] Fits this trope really well in that in-game she has only been an Acolyte for ''three months'' and is [[ImprobableAge 25 years old]]. * [[NaiveNewcomer This Troper]] was put in change of his entire Boy Scout Troop for a week of [[SelfInflictedHell long distance camping]] after the [[TheNeidermeyer original senior patrol leader]] decided that he [[JustFineWithoutYou didn't want to lead anymore.]] * During an Air Force - Army Joint Exercise, this Troper was the [[TheLancer Sergeant placed second-in-command]] of a Forward Air Control Team (termed 'Control Assistant'). In a rather silly (in retrospect) tactical move, the [[EnsignNewbie Forward Controller]] got himself put out of action when he fell into a rather deep ditch and sprained [[EpicFail both his ankles]]. Some of the Army guys we were supposed to be covering came almost immediately on the radio calling and yelling for [[DeathFromAbove Close Air Support]]. This Troper immediately called for the other two guys in the Team follow him and bail the 2nd Lieutenant out of the ditch. After doing just that, he had to radio in the Apaches and Vipers to strike some Red Team artillery positions. Having never actually controlled aircraft or even provided coordinates in a combat situation before (I've only ever done it in practice sessions in an air-conditioned room), this felt almost like a [[FieldPromotion battlefield promotion]]. After all the flybys and firing, this Troper then had to lead the Team back to the camp, all 12 clicks with the 2LT and his equipment on a stretcher. Halfway through, we [[MurphysLaw ran into a Red Team patrol]] and had to [[StealthBasedMission hide and conceal our presence]]. Ever tried camouflaging a man on a stretcher? It isn't particularly easy to do. In the end, we got back to camp without being spotted or "killed". And my most prominent thought throughout the whole thing? "This is gonna be one hell of an [[OhCrap Incident Report]] to file." ---Hey, you! Yes, [[YouAreInCommandNow You Are In Command Now]], troper! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YouAreNotAlone * There are six billion people on this planet. Even if there's only a one in a million chance that someone can understand and relate to you there are still ''six thousand'' people out there who qualify. ** Make that seven billion people. * You are not alone. No matter what hardships you fall on, no matter what challenges lay ahead of you, know this. We TV Tropers stick together. ** But don't count on us to be [[BigDamnHeroes big damned heroes.]] [[SillyRabbitIdealismIsForKids Idealism is for kids, after all]]. *** ...Let's try for it anyway. It's a nice idea. *** Optimism into adulthood, that's what I say! *** Also, the internet is anonymous and 99% of us have no idea whatsoever where any other troper is at any given time. **** This troper would argue that the above is actually a pretty hopeful idea. Your next door neighbor, your crush, your best friend... Any of them could be on here right now, and you wouldn't even know it. **** Proven true for this troper. Sitting down to my now girlfriend on the first day of college, and discovering she liked anime. "Yeah, Evangelion was total nightmare fuel..." "HighOctaneNightmareFuel?" * FascinatingEyebrow* **** [[SturgeonsLaw You know that says about the remaining 1%.]] *** It's still better than being entirely alone. Just think about how many more people might've committed suicide by now if the internet had not existed to show them there are people out there with a little empathy. **** Or backwards, if they got in the wrong places... *** And you can find a lot more people with similar interests to yours on the internet. I know about 13 people who play DungeonsAndDragons in real life, and an uncountable amount over the internet. *** It's really quite beautiful, isn't it? All these anonymous people who care about each other, not because they are family or best friends, but because they are human enough to care about a fellow human being, regardless of whether they know each other or not. ** Or think of it this way. Everybody is a ''potential'' troper. *** [[WeAreEverywhere In a perfect world, we all are]]. ** 6 billion people go through what you are going through. 100 billion already went through worse. You are not alone. ** Or you could think of it as the entire world is onebig exclusive club, and if you don't feel a part of it there's something wrong with you. *** ...That's a really dickish thing to say. I'm not sure I like this club. *** Don't worry, because that dickish remark is wrong. Exclusive means there will be exclusions, but in this club everyone is welcome; everyone is a member, and in some small but significant way, everyone is here for each other. *** [[AnnieHall I would never want to be part of any club that would have someone like me for a member.]] **** I believe it was [[TheMarxBrothers Marx]] who said that first.

** Subverted, since there's really no way to talk to your fellow tropers, and being on this site makes you spend hours alone doing nothing but reading the results of other people talking about other things. *** Subverted? This website is nothing but people connecting, making links, making threads, making conversation. Extending the lines of communication to envelop anyone who joins and welcoming them. You read the conversations that have gone before and are a part of it, made better or worse, knowledgeable or idiotic, but at every stage impacted upon by it. Alone? Pah, Just by reading, you make yourself a part of it. **** And even adding something this small makes you a part of it too. And every little bit of it is still good, and if someone goes away happier based on something little that you have done, then you've still had a connection with them, meagre as it may be. *** Simply by writing that little statement, you have made an impact on me and all people reading it. This world you have pegged as small, and stifling, and empty... are none of these things. I am talking to you after all. Yeah, [[BreakingTheFourthWall you]]. Besides, I might never talk to you or hold you for real, but that doesn't mean I'll ever love you tropers less. You're definitely not alone. *** This placed a smile on my face. Just goes to show you, life can be bad sometimes, but....it has its moments. Sweet, joyful, warm moments. They...arguably, make it all worth it. *** All of you have just made my day that much better. That's a good thing and you're RESPONSIBLE for it. ** This troper has a hard time making friends. He can be very awkwardly shy. He pretty much lives in his own little world. Only once in a while does he get asked whats wrong, hardly being able to express his feelings in a way so others can understand. But being able to come on this site, tell others how he feels, and having others able to relate for and care for him...[[TearJerker 'Scuse me, I'm starting to cry a little.]] ** Reading all of the above just makes this troper feel even lonelier. [[spoiler:Also mildly disgusted and revolted.]] I'll probably never know any of you personally. [[spoiler:And now I'm not sure I want to. Bitter? Yes. Cynical? Yes. But also,]] I'll never know who wrote what. [[spoiler:Do I even want to? and I'll never know how honest they were when they wrote it. For all I know, those so-called "heartwarming" words were written with self-service in mind - you wrote them not because you wanted to make someone else feel better (not even make them feel "not alone", just a vague "better"), but because it makes you feel better when you ''think'' your words are making someone feel better.]] *** You are not alone =/= you are not a ignorant dumbass. *** Humans only think of theirselves. But humans make themselves feel better by helping others, by the wonders of empathy. It is a mechanism that defines the relationships we establish with everyone else (and I personally think it's one of those things make me regain faith in humanity). ** In the end, does it matter? The old argument that reaching out to others is a form of self-service is just a restatement of a tautology:

that people do what they want to do because they want to do it. I don't see how that takes away from its sincerity. If what some people want to do with their time is post anonymous messages of support and encouragement on a website, I'm hardly going to begrudge them the fact that it (hopefully) makes them feel a little warmer inside as well. I know that for myself, I've spent so much of my life always being the one who was taking support from my friends and wishing that sometimes they would need a little back from me, it would be really nice to think that for once, in a small way, I was able to brighten up someone else's day a little. ** If these statements have helped even one person feel better - and, based on the above, they have - then regardless of the intent, they've had a beneficial outcome. So what does it matter if whoever wrote them also felt better from doing so? In fact, for that matter, that just makes it more effective - it's a way for them to feel they're making a difference, so it benefits even more people emotionally. ** We are Anonymi, and we are legion. So fear not Anonymous, for ''YouAreNotAlone.'' *** I guess the old saying about Anonymous is true: ''"None of us are as'' '''''kind''''' ''as all of us."'' * By extension - if you ever feel uncool, dorky, boring, whatever, this troper would just like to remind you that you're on TV Tropes. I, for one, think ''you're awesome.'' * ''This Troper cracks his fingers, snarling at the alarming deficit of statistics on this page.'' A few quick figures, in regards to the above: ** According to Alexa, TV Tropes over the last three months of this writing (added Aug. '10) contributes for ''0.02610%'' of web traffic[[http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/tvtropes.org#]]. There are an estimated ''1,966,514,816'' users of the internet[[http://www.internetworldstats.com/stats.htm]]. Thus, ''513,260'' people are (estimated) to have used TV Tropes. ** The 2008 world population is ''6,697,254,041''. [[http://www.google.com/publicdata?ds=wbwdi&met=sp_pop_totl&tdim=true&dl=en&hl=en&q=population+ of+ the+ earth]] ** Meaning that the odds of a given person being a Troper are ''513,260 in 6,697,254,041'' (~0.008% world population). ** Let's assume there are four people per household, and 26 houses on a block. Thus, the odds of a troper living on a given city block is: --> @@ ''1-((1-(513260/6697254041))^(4* 26))'' = 0.793891195% (8 in 1000) @@ ** Of course, "read a page once" and "read ''regularly''" are two very different beasts. Alternatively: to be 50% confident of having met another Troper, you would need to meet ~9,000 people. Quite a few, but very doable. For 80% confidence, ~21,000. Pretty unlikely you'll meet that many people. Though for all you know you passed me getting coffee this morning. ** If you live in the US, the UK, Canada, or Australia, chances are probably much higher that you've met a fellow Troper in real life. If you live in Zimbabwe...well, good luck. *** I can testify to that. I'm currently in Japan and I met a fellow

troper from Germany. [[{{MomentOfAwesome}} Awesomeness ensued.]] Speaking of which, does anyone else feel that the above statistics is a [[{{CrowingMomentOfAwesome}} C mo A]] for TvTropes? * The hordes of rescue personnel, volunteers, neighbors, and family that descend after a disaster, big or small, has occurred are a fulfillment of this trope. ** Your neighbors, friends, and total strangers are involved in citizen corps groups like CERT, ZAKA, NASR, and more across the globe, training to be there for you when there's a disaster. You will not be alone after the Big One, whatever it may be. ** It makes me want to believe that [[RousseauWasRight Rousseau Was Right]] after all. * When [[LaResistance the Zapatistas]] [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome invaded Mexico City]] in Spring 2001, some 200,000 supports met them with chants of "''[[YouAreNotAlone No están solos!]]''" * In the spirit of very recent and very tragic events, I'd like to speak for TV Tropes as well as the rest of the Internets in that we stand in solidarity to our brothers and sisters in webs in Iran and Haiti. You will never be alone. ** [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg And Chile too.]] ** And Japan. * This trope is part of the point of [[http://postsecret.blogspot.com/ Post Secret.]] * This troper's life loves this trope. ** Straight uses during childhood: *** [[WiseBeyondTheirYears Gifted]]? YouAreNotAlone, and you can even get a middle school full of those. *** Bullied? YouAreNotAlone, and your new friends will side with you against the bullies. *** Strange interests? YouAreNotAlone, and it gets you interesting friends. *** [[CosmicPlaything Feel that God/Fate has his/her puppetstrings around your neck?]] YouAreNotAlone. ** GenreSavvy during teenage years: *** Bisexual? It seems like there are NoBisexuals, but there certainly are - yup, YouAreNotAlone. *** Transsexual? Of course they're hiding, but you know YouAreNotAlone - and you aren't. *** Genderqueer? Well, if you didn't know YouAreNotAlone, you wouldn't even think of looking - but you do, and it works! ** And a subversion: Weird neurology looking like Asperger's syndrome but which definitely isn't? Surely there must be people like you out there - nope. You Are Alone. *** (different editor) [[{{Zeppelin}} Actually...]] *** ''This'' troper recently found out that ''his own mother'' had suspected him of having Asperger's (which, like you, he definitely does not) and had been speaking about this behind his back with his aunts -- who, up till now, he had trusted and felt close to. So no, you're definitely not alone here. *** So... [[DoubleSubversion Double Subversion]] then. *** This troper excommunicated his family because they would not let up on this and accept the fact that he is who he is. You are not

alone. * This troper has learned she is never alone, because of [[HearingVoices voices playing in her head]] and the [[TalkingToHimself stories she tells to herself.]] No, she isn't crazy, she just likes talking to herself to sort things out and her mind makes stuff up when there is too much silence. ** Me too! Guess we ''really'' aren't alone. *** Ditto for this troper; although she has a tendency to act out what she's seeing/hearing in her head, which has convinced those around her that she is crazy...-sigh*** * gasp* This troper ''knew'' she wasn't alone! *** This tropers internal dialogue helps him sort out his thinking a lot easier, especially when you need two points of view (at least) but nobody is around to discuss with. *** No, you definitely aren't alone. *** Oh man, I knew there had to be other people who did this! I love talking to myself! *** Other people talk to their voices and act out what they hear/see? @A@ *** You mean there's ''other'' people besides [[{{Pinkbaron}} myself]] who talk to themselves to write dialogue? Sweet! *** Gasp! [[AMereServantOfGod I]] do that too! No, wait...I'm just crazy. Never mind! *** Holy--! [[{{TheCleave}} I really]] am not alone! *** Well, here I am with all my friends, and I'm not lonely anymore. Nice...it feels nice. *** No. Freakin. Way, you guys too?!!! *** I do that too...sometimes I use fictional characters as my alternate viewpoints, and sometimes it's just different facets of my own personality. *** Fictional character? Now I and my fictional characters don't feel alone! *** I'm not the only one!!! *** Why, we must form a club! :D *** You most certainly are not alone. I'm with you! *** Me Too! Mind, I have doubted my sanity before *** [[{{Tofu}} Me]] too! Let's be a {{Nakama}}! *** Well this is just wierd (I have a few myself. Luckily only one of them is overly harsh; not sure if it's the same one that tells me to kill myself in stressful situations- oh, don't worry, the words have lost all meaning by this point). *** Holy freakin' crap, [[MonSolo I]] [[YouAreNotAlone Am Not Alone]]! *** Oh... oh my god. I... I'm not the only one... *** * sniffle* [[MiyuMiyu I-I'm]] not alone! *** I'm not the only one who does this? I'm not alone! :D *** I do this, And also when I'm playing computer games I imagine that I'm doing a walkthrough or a live stream, and what I would say to my audience... Feels a bit Rocky Horror sometimes. *** * blinks* Me, too...* GLOMPS ALL* *** I...wow. I really am not alone. *hugs fellow tropers* *** [[{{Tropers/AstraKiseki}} The original starter]] here... Holy crap. Not that she thought she was alone (her father talks to himself

to figure things out, her brothers hear voices), but she didn't realize ''how many'' people do exactly what she does. *** So, so I'm not the only one. Not the only one who has characters *tears* [[{{Tropers/Newwingstonight}} This Troper]] just felt a lot less alone now. *hugs all* *** Me too *** [[{{eyeheartturtles}} Me as well!]] *sniff, wipes tear* I feel the love... *** I didn't even know I felt alone in doing this until I didn't any more. *** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYVUM583JL0 This song is for all of you]], including a hug from [[{{theanimejunkie12}} me.]] * The few times [[EddieVanHelsing this troper]] has hit rock bottom, a kitten has always come up to him, purring and meowing at him, and adopted him. Seriously: whenever he's about to eat his gun, he ends up with a cat. It's ridiculous. ** You know, if a cat appears every time you get depressed, you could purposely do so, sell the kittens and make money off it. ** This troper has something similar - last summer, a whole bunch of stuff went completely wrong at the same time. I just sat down on the floor and started crying...and my then-6 month old German Shepherd puppy came up, gave me that curious-puppy look, and started licking the tears off my cheeks. Made things look a whole lot less dramatic. * For some reason, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UIlKiw7hgQ this song]] makes me feel less alone. A friend gave me the mp3 when I asked for some music to cheer up, and each time I play it, [[TearJerker I burst into tears]] because it feels like someone cares. ** What song is that? It's no longer on Youtube and sometimes I could really use a song like that. *** I'm guessing that it's either 'Bridge of Troubled Water' by Simon and Garfunkel (it has the words 'I'm by your side' in it), or maybe the song 'No-one Is Alone' from Into The Woods. 'Now you're on your own./Only me beside you./Still, you're not alone./No one is alone./Truly.' *** Another wonderful song for such times is -- no surprises here -Kate Covington's version of "You're Not Alone". **** The original poster here. It is, of all things, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piWMN_VNg3Y&feature=related "Jai Ho"] from SlumdogMillionaire. The usual songs tend to leave me cold and uncaring, utterly alone. It's music that grabs you by the wrist and makes you want to dance that makes her feel a part of the world. * This troper keeps a set of Mardi Gras beads hanging from his rear view mirror, along with a plastic Tachikoma on the dash board. Both are gifts from friends a few States (or oceans) removed. They serve as reminders to a person who has exceptional difficulty making friends and functioning in any social setting. * Probably the most common sentance on any troper tales page is "me too," or "are you my alternate dimension/opposite gender/timedesplaced clone?" We should have a convention or something. No one is alone around here. * This troper is a whole big bundle of screwed up for which there may well be no pathology. But knowing there are people out there in the

world who share even facets of what I'm in for makes me glow with warm fuzzies. And while TV Tropes has made me feel like a worthless excuse for a human being on multiple occasions (usually due to poorly thought-out edits corrected with [[DeadpanSnarker some people's]] usual tolerance for stupidity) it has ''never'' made me feel alone. ** [[YouAreNotAlone Haven't we all tried making those poorly-thoughtout edits that get corrected almost immediately?]] * In college, my mom felt compelled to send me an email which basically went "You are never alone, there are at least two people on this earth right now willing to die for you". Kinda creepy, if you ask me. ** This Troper thought it was a CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming, but I guess it [[YourMileageMayVary depends on how you look at it]]. ** TearJerker, since my dad said something similar a long time ago. ** [[Tropers/{{Gunbazca}} I...]] might actually have had helped a girl through this way. A few years back I was fond of sending texts from my cell to random numbers within my provider (the number structure was <provider specific number>-<Area code>-<number>). One of them hit jackpot, and we started being textfriends-of-sorts. One day while hanging out, i received a call from her, and she seemed frantic. Turns out that she's home alone and her friend collapsed, and in her confusion ''dialed my number''. I helped her as best as i could (mainly calming her) and after a few hours she phoned back, telling me that her friend has improved. I never got to know the girl personally, and i lost her number when my old phone got stolen. So girl, if you're out there reading this, remember the stranger that helped to keep you calm! * [[{{Emolsifier}} This Troper]] discovered this while studying for a test. The test was hours away and I was heavily burdened by the weight of it all and to make matters worse I was doubting myself in many ways and losing confidence in what I was doing. It was in that moment that it struck me. [[YouAreNotAlone I am not alone]] and that [[PowerOfFriendship my friends who I left behind are still with me]]. I threw myself at the texts and the next day I finished the test with confidence in my grade. my friends will never know how much they've helped me, even when we're worlds apart. * This Troper is a Pokemaniac, but very old for one, and always lonely. Just a few weeks ago, she was at a convention and one of her boyfriend's friends fell on her: he suffered a heart attack, and was dead not much later. She was just about to start crying and freaking out in front of everyone when she spotted a kid there playing Pokemon. 20 minutes later, she was playing Pokemon with three nine-year-olds. If she'd cried publically it would have ruined the morale at the convention. Just by sharing their time, Pokemon, and compassion, those three boys kept her from crying and making the whole thing even worse. [[YouAreNotAlone YANA]] indeed. * You know that feeling you get when you're downloading a torrent, only at first it looks like no one is seeding, only then the connections start coming in, and they just keep coming, suddenly that series you thought you'd never get to see is going to be there in full by the end of the night. :3 * I once thought that I was the only person I knew who had an

encyclopediac knowledge of pre-Nintendo video games. Then, I went to my school's videogame club, and found out that almost everybody there knew about videogaming history * I had been going through a really hard time, but my friends and family only knew the external half of it, which was much easier to handle than the emotional baggage. But when I went to my last club meeting of the semester, the group leader (who I don't even know all that well) gave me an award. The other awards went to people who were really good at what they did, but mine was for "overcoming obstacles" and for always being there. It's hard to explain exactly how much that meant to me...but every time I look at that plaque, I remember: ''someone thinks that I'm strong.'' ** I had a similar experience at a camp where I tried everything, even if it really scared me or I didn't think I could do it. At the end they were giving out awards and I got one for ''Having a go at everything''. It's not much, but I've always felt like no one ever noticed me, no matter how much effort I put into something. Someone did. * I whined to someone about how I sometimes feel like I don't have friends. She mentioned it to someone... And he made me a cake. With icing that called me awesome. Yeah, pretty sweet. ** Did you mean to pull that Pun of Awesome? I'll assume you did :D * [[{{@/LoneCentrist}} This Troper]] has a college radio station show. On a rainy day, I was remarking to a friend in the station that nobody even listens to my show, so why am I bothering, and that ProgressiveRock doesn't get the respect it deserves. Within five minutes of that statement, a guy walks into the near empty station from the rain outside, and asks who's playing the Emerson, Lake and Palmer on the air. I say it's my Prog Rock show, and he goes into thanking me for playing some great music, and we went on for a good while about how awesome Prog is. Now he cohosts the show with me, and we've actually had others compliment our show. I am not alone indeed. ** Something similar here. I entered my college radio club and started my show (about video game soundtrack). I was sure that it was niche, that no one would be interested in it, but I did it because I love Video Game music. When I was in the middle of my J-RPG episode, Someone entered the studio and thanked me for playing [[ChronoTrigger Chrono Trigger]] and [[FinalFantasyVI Final Fantasy VI]] (among others). But the kicker, I did a NES special (I was still sure that the other students would find it ear-bleeding), and when I played the classic tune of [[SuperMarioBros Super Mario Bros]], a few students [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming walked to the studio and gave me thumbs up]]. Now I know, I'm not alone. YOU are not alone. * This troper suffers from panic attacks. One of the most helpful things to stop them is to look up statistics on how many people suffer from these. I may be going crazy, but I'm in good company! * This troper has Asperger's Syndrome, and I'm a bit...[[UnderStatement touchy]] about it when people make fun of it for whatever reason. [[YouAreNotAlone I may not know my fellow Aspies,]] but I am sure as hell that I [[TheDeterminator WILL defend those like me,]] and my family will back me up, too. ** You Too? Mind, with me, it's when people make fun of others (

UNLESS it is clearly banter) that makes me go psychotic. ** This Troper also has Asperger's Syndrom. While I knew in my head that I wasn't the only one, it's sort of hard to really get that when you live in the middle of nowhere with a whole lot of people who don't understand what it is. It got to the point where I would just give up trying to explain it and grin and bear it. Not long after I first discovered this site, I sort of had a meltdown. After constantly assuming the best of people, that they weren't making fun of me, weren't being serious, etc etc, I couldn't take it any longer and went into a depression. Then I discovered how many Aspies there were on this site. I started reading all the discussions on it, and the Useful Notes page that we have for it. I don't know how many people here have Asperger's Syndrome, not exactly, but it looks like alot, and even those here that don't seem to have a far greater understanding of it than most. To all of you, Thank You, thank you so much. *** I don't remember if it was me who wrote the original line you two are replying to, but if it was, thank you, and if it wasn't, add a + one to that. *** I found out rather recently that I have Asperger's, after spending upwards of 20 years thinking that I was just weird. Now, I rather liked being unique, but the nagging feeling that there was something wrong with me offset the cool factor more than a bit. Having a name for my weirdness helped, though it was still hard to explain to some people. Just how do you get someone to take a disability seriously when it isn't physically obvious? There were times when I thought that I'd much rather be in a wheelchair or something. Then I found more and more people who knew and understood the condition, or even have it themselves. And I would miss being able to run in the sunshine. ** [[@/{{Animenutcase}} This troper]] is comforted by the fact that she's not the only Aspie on the internet, especially considering she wasn't diagnosed until late in her junior year of high school. ** [[@/BlakeDiamond I]] honestly have no idea what to say, other than thank you, my Aspergian brethren. I'm truly glad I found you guys, and after nearly 15 years of feeling alone, this site and all its users have shown me otherwise. I love you all, and may whatever God(s) that're out there bless each and every one of you. ** This troper is also an Aspie, but prefers not to reveal it. But I guess this time, I'll make an exception. :) ** [[@/{{Icarael}} I]] normally doesn't tell anyone I have Aspergers' Syndrome, but if you people feel comfortable revealing it here, then... I guess it's safe to confess. It's quite interesting, being part of a group. * This troper spent all of highschool in a theater troupe that wrote small skits, and manages to write one about being Gay, one about being a Lesbian, one about being Bi, an one about being Transgendered. Just to make sure that maybe, just maybe, someone in the audience would know... you are not alone! * * reads page* Pardon me if this is misplaced, but I love you all. ** We love you too...(Just not in that creepy stalker way)* Hug* * [[Tropers/RedWren This troper]] has come to the conclusion that there will always be parts of her that no one understands. But this will ''never'' stop me from being who I am, and finding people I

[[ThePowerOfLove love]] [[ThePowerOfFriendship and]] [[ThePowerOfTrust trust]]. And you know what? I refuse to believe I'm alone in this mindset. To others who just read this, hi! ** I agree with the first part. There are things that no one will ever understand. But that doesn't mean that these parts of you can't be respected. It's all about keeping an open mind about what other people think and do with their lives. We need not understand each other to ''respect'' each other. If we do that, we are truly not alone. I guess what I'm saying is... Hello. *** This troper has the mindset of the original poster, and would like to add some things. Like, hey, sure, no one may understand a lot of parts of me, my reasoning or logic. Heck, I still haven't met anyone who shares [[{{Vocaloid}} my]] [[{{Touhou}} music]] [[{{Jpop}} tastes]]! But I do know that there are people out there who are live like me, who think like me, and who share the same problems. I mean, this troper could never feel truly sad about things like sickness or death, because I think of all those people out there, those strong, happy people, who have overcome the same things as me, and it makes me feel like I have the power of them behind me. The power of happiness and love and everything I've ever experienced all twists and fades into the experiences of other people. Trying to understand each other instead hard, it's impossible, yeah, but it makes you understand the pain of other people... and how to live on through the darkest moments in your life, even when you've hit rock-bottom. I love you guys, and I'd just like everyone here to know that you all matter, that you ARE changing the world, even if it's only your own; you can change someone else's world with the smallest actions. And, as cheesy as it sounds, [[{{TheWorldEndsWithYou}} the world really does end with you.]] ...It felt good to get that off my chest. * I am asexual, and while I love see people in happy relationships and I have been a ShipperOnDeck in some situations, being in love and being attracted to someone are alien aspects to me which I'll never completely understand firsthand. Of course, I've gotten plenty of weird looks when I say that, people wondering how the hell an anomoly like that can exist. So when I finally met someone who admitted the same thing to me, we were both like OMG at each other, thanking the heavens we weren't the only one who thought like that. (And no, we are not dating. I just have a lot of fun discussing anime with her and slowly destroying her childhood dreams by pointing out all the fucked up things Disney did in their movies ^-^) ** Definitely not alone. Not exactly asexual myself, but my complete and total lack of a love life combined with cluelessness regarding that aspect of humanity has made me wonder from time to time. But, hey, sexuality is only part of being human. As long as we have others to share our lives with that's great. ** This troper didn't even know what asexuality was. She just thought she was weird or somehow just trying to make herself be different. When she discovered that she wasn't the only one who felt this way, that it was alright for her to not want a sexual relationship, everything suddenly made more sense in her world. ** I honestly did think I was the only one for a while there. It was so weird listening to my sister talk about boys she liked and

insisting that there could be no relationship without sexual attraction... I'm so glad she was wrong. * This trope is invoked by one of my friends when I'm not in the best of moods. Which, considering a lot of paranoia and stress at the moment, is a lot. I also try to remind myself of this whenever I feel lonely and down. * Bittersweet example: [[{{Haldo}} This Troper]], who started the troper tales page for {{Gayngst}}, at first thought that all the examples would be subversions except for hers. She thought wrong :) * [[MonSolo This troper]] has had that a lot lately: ** Was feeling apprehensive about going to graduation and having to explain to people that she wasn't able to complete her degree (still graduating, but the degree doesn't mean much). Ended up speaking to not one but two other people who had similar things happen. Nice to have someone to complain with. ** After four years of high school and four years of college without any attention from guys, joined a dating website. Within a week, made some connections. Met a guy who seems very nice and sincere, and likes the same weird things. Has her first date with him scheduled for next week! The best part of this is that he was the one to make the first contact. It feels amazing to have someone reach out to me (but not in a creepy way). ** Had another one just now, reading on this very page about people who keep their sanity by writing stories in their minds. I have a large cast of characters living in my head, and will amuse myself by figuring out how they would react to different situations. * This troper recently sent an email to her friend, "A", in reply to an email asking for this troper's phone number, of which A had lost. In ended up having a message of something along the lines of "You Are Not Alone". Here is the email (note all people's names are replaced with capital letters and all emoticons (pictures, not ":)", ":(", ":P", etc.) are omitted; also a couple of important notes are placed in the text): sorry... wait do you have my cell #? Aw well, here it is:n/a. * This troper thought nobody in his school liked SuzumiyaHaruhi. Huh. Turns out the closest one is in the class next door. Nobody was able to comprehend his references to {{Daemon}} and {{Hyperion}}. Huh. His history teacher loves those books. Now, off to find someone who's fanfiction is as dark as this troper's! * A few years ago, a friend of this troper's on Neopets put a small story about how the people she met there changed her life. This troper responded with her own story, and we both concluded that we are not alone. This was the first time this troper had ever thought that and it was a wonderful moment that she'll remember for the rest of her life. ...when she thinks about it, even though she never thought the exact words, the feeling of not being alone is what kept her from veering off into depression or worse. So in a way, the internets saved my life before it was even in danger, all because if this trope. * I've recieved this a lot during the past years and I thought they were real, but [[BreakTheCutie then...turns out most of it was bull]]. Anyway, there's still Tv Tropes... * Sometime around October or November of 2009, I was feeling

disheartened, because I had just missed over two months of classes due to illness and was dealing with the academic fallout from that, and completely alone, because most of my close friends had moved away and I was feeling too ashamed of my general lack of success in life to contact the few who were still in town. I randomly opened a Twitter account and made my first tweet a despairing cry into the abyss of the internet, figuring that nobody would read it. Within a few hours, though, I got a response back and from one of my best friends who had moved away, no less. I still have no idea how she found me. YouAreNotAlone indeed. * Whenever I start to feel depressed, or lonely, or whatever, I like to go to my bookmarks, open this page, and read it, start to finish. I always end up feeling a lot better knowing there's someone else out there who's had a rough spot. Long story short, I love you guys in a totally platonic way. * This Troper's dog causes such moments for her. No matter how hateful, monstrous, and unloveable I feel, there's always my dog willing to cuddle with me on the sofa. ** I get that, but with my cat. She's like a child, crying when someone fights and just knowing when you're sad and sitting on your lap purring... When I feel the most alone, she's always there to make me feel better. * ''"I want to be a star. I want to have my light stretch over impossible distances and durations to give comfort to someone I don't even know yet who is at the same time a kindred spirit"'' * Done many, many times with this troper: sometimes played straight, sometimes subverted. Here are a couple of examples. ** I used to be a member of a small, very tight-knit forum and left because of school (my school makes us work inhuman hours), almost forgetting about it. A couple of years later a guy from the forum made a post asking me to come back on my blog. It was one of the most touching moments of my life. No joke. ** I went to Latin camp a while ago and, at the small welcome party, got into a conversation with a girl who I didn't know (well, I didn't know anyone but still...) and started chatting about, of all things, Bleach and RPing. Now, since no-one at my school reads/watches Bleach and I don't know anyone there who RPs, I found this rather uplifting. Not to mention I know barely anyone who does Latin and there were about 150 of us there... ** Last example is a very painful subversion. I am a social outcast, an introvert, and I always feel alone and detached from events (it's got better in recent years, but it's still there). I have only a few close friends and I'm shy. I know that I am always alone, at least at home... ** Dude, you just totally contradicted yourself...how are you alone when you have close friends? You may not physically be next to someone, but that does NOT mean you're alone. Honestly, all anyone needs IS a few close friends. Those are the type of friends that make all the difference in the world :) * During a martial arts class, this troper (the only newbie at that time) was practicing the first, most basic kata. The teacher ordered everyone else to sit down to practice one at a time. Before starting,

I was asked to close my eyes. And in the middle of the kata, I was ordered to open them, just to find the whole class around me, all performing the same kata in perfect coordination. After the class, the teacher told me "we all started like you." * This troper has felt alone many, many times. So, to everyone who could possibly be feeling alone after reading all that....Well, you just aren't. We are all here for you. Know this, and feel the warm fuzzies. *hug* ** By extension - if you ever feel uncool, dorky, boring, whatever, this troper would just like to remind you that you're currently browsing TV Tropes. I, for one, think ''you're awesome'', and whoever the hell you are, if we bumped into each other on the street, I'd give you one whopper of a high five. ** [[{{@/DragonKhorse}} This troper]] agrees. Tv Tropes may ruin my life, but I'm still glad to have met all of you, and finding out that I'm not alone. Seriously, this page lifts my spirits as well as GMH and the HeartwarmingMoments page. * This Troper has started college and felt that everyone knew each other, was partying hard, and was leaving me out of everything (all of which are this tropers BerserkButtons). I decided to talk to my roommate after almost being DrivenToSuicide. His response? "Dude, I just drank for the first time last week when you weren't here. I'll take you sometime. And I think that everyone is a prick that wants nothing to do with anyone else." I started to cry, because I had found a kindred spirit. * [[{{Kargaroc}} This aspie]] may feel like it's wrong to talk about this here, but i have to say it. Back in 2006, I had a fixation (which later turned into a true love) with the evil colorful birds from [[TheLegendOfZeldaTheWindWaker WindWaker]] ([[GodDamnedBats Ka]][[MostAnnoyingSound rg]][[RidiculouslyCuteCritter ar]][[GiantFlyer oc]]s, of whom my username is also named after). I thought it was weird to be liking something that most people hate, so I kept it a secret. I even doubted that anyone else on the planet liked these obscure fictional creatures. Then I ran into DeviantART, where I made an acount and put up some pictures of them. Then, I searched dA for pics of them, and I found a picture, drawn by a person who was inspired by me. Turns out, she loves them too! I almost cried. Since then, the person has become my best friend, and has made numerous arts for me. YouAreNotAlone *cries*. * When I was a kid, I find myself keep on imagining stuff happening to fictional characters. I felt weird because it was before the Internet became popular. Then, I discovered fan fiction and my first thought was 'There are others like me?'. * The fact I know other people here have ADHD and Social Anxiety made me realize that am I not alone in that area and makes want to be a better person * My second love-interest was seriously considering committing suicide (because of losing everything), she asked me, "I'm completely alone, I have lost everyone and everything I've lived for, why should I not do this?" To which I replied, with a {{Determinator}} tone, "You are '''not''' alone." She carries on and lives and [[ItGotBetter gets better]].

** But also subverted in the fact that '''I''' am alone, and said love-interest abandoned me when she got better, making [[http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/behemoth/theapostasy.html#9 this]] my new favorite song. ** [[@/RedWren Been there.]] *internet hugs* * You may not agree with this, and I'm not trying to force anything on you. But God is always with His children. Even when no one else is. I have found that out. ** I totally agree. It's present throughout my entire life. ** "In his dreams, a man was walking across a beach. He noticed there were two sets of footsteps: one for him, and one for God. He was walking along his life. He noticed that in the saddest parts of his life, there was only one set of footprints. This troubled him, and he asked God why he would abandon him in his darkest hours. "My child," God said, "I love you and I would never abandon you." In the darkest hours of your life, it was then that I carried you." -Anonymous ** You might not believe it but, a few years ago, I was feeling really depressed. I went to bed and was lying there, not sleeping, almost crying and not really knowing why when I felt hugged. Like someone was giving me the biggest, best hug ever and I'm sure it was my Father just letting me know He was always there. ** Whether you believe in God or not, He believes in you. You are made in His image, and He loves you. I'm not trying to force my beliefs on anyone: I really don't care what you believe. Because God is there for you no matter what. ** I have read so much stuff on here that is anti-religious, bashing Christians, and generally making me feel like I'm a bad person for going to church and being a bible-thumper. Then I read these comments. Thanks alot guys! I know that I'm not the only closet conservative christian on here! * [[{{FairyDreamer}} This troper]] has gone through a lot in her life and still is going through things now, as her family is in total chaos and has been so for the past four years. Because of this, she has considered running away from home and never returning or even killing herself so her family would have nothing to fight over anymore (the chaos is centered around me). When she's in school, she just keeps to herself and tries to stay away from others. One day, she was sitting alone at lunch as usual and a girl came up to her and asked her if she's okay. She simply told the girl she's fine and then was asked why she's always by herself. When the girl wouldn't go away, this troper just decided to say what was wrong. Turns out the girl was going through pretty much the same thing and had been so for years as well. After talking some more with her, this troper had to start fighting back tears because for the first time in her life, she felt she really wasn't alone. That was a year ago and today, this troper is best friends with the girl. * [[Troper/AdelePotter This Tropette]] had a friend at camp. --> Friend: I'm alone. Okay. I have no one. --> Me: SiSi, as long as I'm around, you'll never be alone. * This troper isn't the OP, and in fact her life is going great, but she was crying by the end of [[http://sherlockbbcfic.livejournal.com/2727.html?thread=6352039#t6352039 this post]],

simply from emotion. It doubles as a CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming. * After two very rough years, this troper is back. My [[http://kaiserstuff.blogspot.com/2010/11/los-anos-pasan.html latest blog entry]] sums it pretty good, I think. (along with Crowning Music of Heartwarming) * Incoming TL;DR. I don't know if anyone is reading this, and I feel like it's futile to do, but I made an account here just so I could write this. Because somehow I feel like I should, given that it seems like there are people here who might understand.... I've recently lost every friend I had, and had my heart broken by the one person in the world who ever made me feel worthwhile. I was an abused child, beaten every day for many years, and it seems more and more each day that the man who did it was right about me---I am useless, worthless and repulsive, and nobody will ever care about me more than is convenient for them. I feel like I am a monster, a horrible person, though I try not to be, I feel like deep down all of the things good about me must be fake. It takes a miracle for me to make friends at all. When I do make them, they inevitably make me cry and abandon me. My family? I am a black sheep, and they roll their eyes at my tears. And I feel alone. And I'm scared. I don't want to be alone. I don't know what to do. When I was a child, I could escape these feelings through reading about people who were loved and wanted and cared for and important. I am denied even that escape now since even those fantasies are invaded by thoughts of "even a fictional character gets to feel like someone likes them. You never will!" ...I hate the thoughts that are going through my mind and I just want it to stop. I'm really, really scared. Please... I really want to know someone hears and understands. I'd give anything. ** This post genuinely brings me to have compassion for you. YouAreNotAlone. I hear you, I understand you, and though I've never met you of which I am aware, I love you. [[MrRogersMeighborhood You are special, just the way you are.]] My troping name is [[spoiler: Encarnacion Pastora]] and with it you can probably locate the real me if you need to do so. ** This Troper would like to say that although I can't give you much in the way of physical help, I just want to say that there are people here, me included, who are willing and ready to be by your side. Here, you're never truly alone. ** I don't know you and I probably never will, but I hope you'll believe me when I tell you I love you. And I'm not just saying it to make you feel better, I really do. ** This troper would like to tell you not to give up. There are people out there just waiting to meet you. People who will make you feel that your life means something. People who need you, yes, ''you'', because whatever anyone tells you, you are not a horrible person. You are a unique miracle, and you will do amazing things with your life. And you will not do them alone. The people who love you, and whatever you may think, I guarantee that there is at least one other person out there whose life is a little brighter because of you, the people who will love you, and the anonymous tropers whom you will probably never meet but are praying for you, all have your back. YouAreNotAlone. ** This Troper cried tears. Not Manly tears, but real tears. You are

not alone. And you never, ever will be. No matter what they say. ** I don't know You.I will never probably meet You or get to Hug You or tell You how much You matter.But I care about You and I sincerely hope that things will work out for the best for You.You are not Your abuse,You are not the friends who abandon You,You are not the family who don't value You,You are not the feelings of doubt and Fear.You are a Beautiful and unique individual and I Love You.And I'm not the only one ** Hey... --> '''Jon Osterman''': Will you smile? If I admit I was wrong? --> '''Laurie Juspeczyk''': About what? --> '''Jon Osterman''': Miracles. Events with astronomical odds of occurring, like oxygen turning into gold. I've longed to witness such an event, and yet I neglect that in human coupling, millions upon millions of cells compete to create life, for generation after generation until, finally, your mother loves a man, Edward Blake, the Comedian, a man she has every reason to hate, and out of that contradiction, against unfathomable odds, it's you - only you - that emerged. To distill so specific a form, from all that chaos. It's like turning air into gold. A miracle. And so... I was wrong. Now dry your eyes, and let's go home.

* Gah, you guys are making me all teary-eyed, and this troper hates getting all sentimental. Though....she assumes she's not the only one? ** Of course you're not. This is the girl who wrote the cry-speak message up above. There was something I wanted to say, now that I'm back in a stable mindset, to you all. Before I wrote what I did, I had looked upon this page and thought, rather cynically, "How can anyone say that anyone else isn't alone? You don't know each other. You have never seen each other before in your life. You'll never know them, you will never even think about them, and that being the case, how in hell can anyone be anything but alone?" Well... now I know. I was in a bad place, as though buried deep within the earth, surrounded by cold and unfeeling dirt, and anyone could and did walk right on top of me and never even notice or care that they did. All I wanted was to be heard, to know that I did indeed exist still, that there wasn't enough dirt around to truly stifle the voices of the solitary---for I know and knew that I was not the only one, even if that didn't help the immediate situation. I opened my mouth and received a throat full of dirt, pebbles, and worms where I had wanted to breathe air. But I came here. And I wrote what I did. And not even a full day later, [[spoiler: Encarnacion Pastora]] had written a response. I never found you, Troper. I didn't know how---I hardly know how to edit this page. I never found any of you who found it in your hearts to comfort someone that most other people would shrug at and say, "Angst is the fashion these days. Get

real problems. Then you'll know what it is to be sad." But though I never found you, your words, they still stand as little warming torches against the wall of cold that is the reality. You have taught me that even when it seems like nobody gives a damn in the world, even when you feel like you could disappear from the world and nobody would notice or care, there are still those out there who feel it. Maybe they didn't know you. Maybe they will never know what happened. But they'll know something did. They'll know, and they'll feel it, because that, too, is reality---that many people can and do disappear because nobody has found them. As for me... I want to be like you all, able to inspire hope with just a few words. Further, I want to be able to reach out, somehow, and show people they don't have to condemn themselves to be alone. Personally, I can't help but think, there are so many people online, and so many ways for them to talk to each other, the possibilities... but I don't want to ramble on too much. I just wanted to say, thank you. You are all to be thoroughly commended. Through your kindness, I now know that when you feel like you're buried and worthless, though it might be hard, you have to claw your way back up to the surface. When there's grit in your teeth, caked on your face, dusting your hair, stuck beneath your nails, stinging your eyes, you know that eventually you'll sit on the grass and behold the sunlight with the wisdom the experiences bestowed upon you. For the time being, it is enough for me to know, in truth, that I am not alone. * I'd like to think that you have been "able to inspire hope with just a few words." I have also felt trapped in that same pit, and sometimes go too willingly back there. Some of the last audible words of my hero, who alone could get me out of said pit, were "And surely I am with you, to the very end of the age." Where he is, I can be found. [[spoiler: Encarnacion Pastora]] ** ...And this should be listed in the CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming page. * I registered on here after reading your post, and I would like to say the following: you are most definitely not alone (although I imagine that this was probably established by this point, huh?). My entire paternal side was emotionally abusive, with my maternal side having their moments (though not meant anywhere near as vindictively as the former). I went through a very... non-peaceful, we'll say, custody fight, all while knowing that my father fought for me not because he actually loved me, but because he hated "loosing", was going to be unable to force me to clean up the house that they recked, and did not want his child support raised. As most abusers do, he refused to believe that he was at fault at all; even though I was genuinely terrified of him, he was the "victim". My cousin (on paternal side) I'm pretty sure was paid off to talk to me, so that my dad would have an "inside source" to have info on me, and ultimately, probably betrayed the trust that I had in him more than I realize even now. During this time, my then-best friend pretty much point blank

told me that my problems weren't as bad as hers, and that I needed to shut up and quit whining. I found out a few months later that the only guy I had ever loved, my then boyfriend, had been cheating on me for months. How did I find out? When I sent him a text and a girl asked me who I was. Everything crashed down at once, and I was literally so numb that I wouldn't have cared if I had died-- and more so, contemplated suicide just to "get back" at the people who had hurt me. Thankfully, I had one friend who actually was there for me. Point being (and hopefully I haven't bored you too much), if you can just hold on, there truly is a "dawn to every night"; now, I have two very good friends who I would easily both trust my life to and take a bullet for, and a boyfriend who truly does love me. At times, the fact that I've been abused shows-- I'm overly-cautious and have extremely low self-value, along with being sarcastic and fairly cynical (even though it doesn't seem like it from this, I imagine). Still, looking back, I'm glad that I made it today, and thought that I would let you know that, most definitely, you are not alone, are loved, and maybe not completely, but there are people out there who really ''do'' understand where you're coming from. * Well, this troper and her friends were discussing the wish - if granted ''only'' one wish - each would respectively request. One friend somewhat amorphously communicated her wish as [[SugarBowl somehow imparting health/happiness upon the world]] [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor without instigating]] a BraveNewWorld like scenario. Recognizing the paradoxical parameters of the first wish ([[CrapsaccharineWorld without the ills of the world, the potency of happiness or good health evaporate]]) and acknowledging the dangers of irreparably altering even the tiniest aspect the world, another friend simply stated that she would not wish for anything. On this oftruminated topic, this troper suggested that perhaps - though not necessarily advisable - a nice wish would be: "For no one to ever have to feel alone." * Watch the [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/LonersAreFreaks Loners Are Freaks troper tales page.]] Up to now, there are more than 161 recently discovered siblings/copycats/clones/parts of the same self in there. * This one is a little different, but this troper has a 30GB broadband allowance and pops the cap every month, being stuck with slow internet for up to two weeks at a time. When the fast internet comes back I get this warm fuzzy feeling, like I can connect with the world again and I am not alone. * "Never skip out on a single day of your life. Because then the world will miss out on the distilled badassery that you are." I love you, my fellow Troper, regardless of where you are, even if I don't know you. * Heck, we're getting too caught up on just ''people'' on this list! I was once chewed out horribly by my father over some minor issue and retired to my room to have a sulk over the situation. My two dogs, one semi-elderly and the other barely over a year old, both came up to me with expressions that said this trope clearer than any human could voice it.

* I love you guys! * This troper would like to say that, even if there is still only one version of you, everyone of us is a champion even before being born. If anything, be proud that you, out of potentially millions, won the right to be born. Even if your life is an absolute shit hole, you proved able to beat millions just to be given life and that it is an honour to live in these interesting times. Who cares if the world ends tomorrow? Live life like it should be lived and be happy. * This troper is commonly hit with depressing streaks of loneliness. Which is why she has cats. But, another nice thing is music. Go and Google "Keep Holding On" by Avril Levigne, and "Connected" by Katherine Mcphee. The key, my wonderful fellow Tropers, is going and talking to someone! Even your cat! Even the wall! Even God! (She's done that one.) GO GO GO! * This troper has moments with this constantly with, her friends, who come through for her always (Taking me out, coming out of nowhere and making sure I stay in your life, inviting me round to your house after me being a bit crazy the last time I came round), and her lover who even through the immense crazy/bratty/moody couple of years stuck by her. I am most of that crazy/bratty/moodyness! The point is. I am not alone!... [[YouAreNotAlone and neither are you]] ** and of cause you tropers and your tales and the mere existence of this site has inspired and influenced me so. I know I am not alone in my obsession with creativity! * This troper feels incredibly alone, probably contributing to his clinical depression. It is rather hard to feel like you aren't alone when your family, frankly, doesn't give a crap and you don't have anyone to talk to about it. UPDATE: depression reached insanely high levels, failed suicide attempt. ** This manic-depressive knows exactly how you feel, having spend a large portion of life in just that situation. You're not alone here, mate. No matter what life throws at you, you've always got two things here: a support network, and people who care, no questions asked. *** A support network? People who care? O.O. *looks around trying to spot them* That's... unusual for my life. To say the least. **** -points up at all the people here- We care, mate. ***** *is getting all teary-eyed and is speechless* That means a lot to me... Thank you. *hugs randomly* ** You do have people to talk about it with. Who? Well, me for one. We tropers are [[{{Nakama}} like family]]. Remember, no matter how you feel, somebody somewhere loves you and is willing to listen. * This troper lived in constant agony. Every 2 years I moved to a different country and had to change friends, culture, and everything. When I finally went back to my home country, I felt like a stranger. I felt like nobody cared, and that nobody was really appreciating all the kindness I was trying very hard to give. I didn't talk about this to anyone for almost 7 years, but then finally I let my heart out to my childhood friend, who through all the changes in life still remained the kind-hearted person I always knew, and he accepted everything I had to say and criticized me, society, and everything in general and yet still gave me suggestions on how to gain back my selfconfidence and self-esteem. I could never ask for a better friend than

that, and I literally cried during out talk. Who said men can't cry about their feelings? * This Troper has discovered that she knows where her real friends are: the internet. After a whole day of being bullied and pushed around at school, she came home, collapsed at the computer and poured out her heart to her internet friends. Sure, we don't know each other; we've never met; but This Troper knows that she'll always be able to depend upon these guys to pull her out of a rut. Thanks guys~ [[Tropers/{{Mousy677}} Mousy677]] ** This troper knows that feeling. When she was in middle school, she used to get tormented for reading all the time- it was one of those 'sports stars are king' middle schools. one day she got an email from another fan of a book series, which led to starting an entire role play..which led to a handful of people she has never met saving her life day after day for over a year. * "Everybody who's ever teased you. Called you: fat, stupid, ugly, geek, gay--they were right! That's why we all go here, 'cuz if we go anywhere else, we'd all get beaten up!" A quote by Jimmy Urine from Mindless Self Indulgence. I recently discovered the quote. I wrote it on a piece of paper and tacked it to my wall. Now I read it everyday and feel instantly better as well as a good chuckle. And I'm pretty sure Jimmy Urine used those adjectives in a positive connotation. :) * Happens frequently at this troper's school. My school is an art school that is very emotional, with most people being friendly, geeky people who get obscure references. When I do feel alone, even in my school, I have a hand picked group of people that I go to whenever I feel down. And then I, of course, have the internet. * This troper's good friend told her a little while back that there was a chance she could move. Since her school is a really bad school where a kid leaves almost each month due to horrible bullying, and this troper's friend often seems like her only true friend, I was understandably upset. However, I was strong and told her that I would miss her if she did. Cue me listening to Slipped Away by Avril Lavigne and crying like a baby. (Wah, it was a little silly, I know...) But I spotted her on messenger and told her that I would really, really miss her, and she gives a small "it's okay," speech and goes offline. The next day I go into school and she bounces up to me and says; "I had a long talk with my folks, and I'm not moving! I mean, with you crying, and everything going nuts... still. Don't worry, I won't leave you alone here." I hugged her so hard after that (you see I've got an EmotionlessGirl image going and show little emotion at school, so no tears.) and a few weeks back, my friend says "We're gonna know each other for ever, aren't we?" the answer, Em, is I hope so. <3 * Throughout Elementary school I never really had friends. 6th and 7th grade were no better. 8th was better but then I graduated and me and my friends split to different high schools. Then came high school. I had people to hang out with but they weren't really friends. One day, in class, I heard a girl mention a meme. I thought it was coincidence but one day we started to talk. She knew anime, manga, the Internet, and it was nice knowing someone who knew stuff I knew. Then she moved

away. I had other friends in my high school, and we kept in touch but then for my Sophomore year I moved. For the first months I had no friends, cue a random girl coming up to me after seeing my manga and talking to me. After being a loner for most of my life, those two years of high school and those people met gave me a huge You Are Not Alone moment. * When I had just gotten my first Labtop,I found Tv Tropes while looking for Scribblenauts codes.I even made my account just to post on this page.Sure,I may not be popular,I talk to myself,my story ideas may seem strange to some,I may be asexual,and I may get bad grades,but you know what?! I DON'T CARE! I don't let myself be put down by my classmate's comment, because their wrong.I know I'm different,but I'm just being me.People call me weird for liking Pokemon.I just shrug it off.People call me gay.I just shrug it off.Because I don't pick on people I don't know/like.If I don't like someone,I just don't talk to them.I don't know you?I try to be friends.I met my one of my seventh grade friends when I was an eighth grader.I noticed they always ate lunch by themselves,so I got me and my friends to hang out with him.Now,He's one of my best friends. * This troper, after struggling for a long time over a crush, discovered the CanNotSpitItOut Troper Tales page. * Back in 2006, my grandma died. I managed to hold off on crying until after the funeral, but I was still visibly upset. Unfortunately, my parents and brother are AllTakeAndNoGive, conversation-wise, so talking to them about how I felt was out of the question. So, I went to speak with a friend of mine (I'll call him "Jack" for anonymity purposes). When I told Jack what happened, he didn't say a word; he just leaned over and hugged me like a long-lost relative. Unlike some people I know, he didn't worry about what other people might think about seeing this; that act of friendship cemented his [[FireForgedFriends fire-forged]] status in my heart. * One of this troper's closest friends abruptly confessed to him about her obsessive-compulsive tendencies, having recently been diagnosed with mild OCD. The two of us started talking about how our friends didn't understand how consuming it was to suffer from it, and how aiming for top grades wasnt enough to self-diagnose OCD, spending the next hours admitting our real horror stories, about uneven lines, and disgusting writing that gnawed away at us every night. While certainly not the worst cases of OCD, both of us now have someone who truly understands the illogical pain of it all. It's not a lot, but for anyone and everyone, even this self-loathing troper can believe that You are Not Alone * you, you right there.. you just finished reading this page, right? and you think, no one's read this whole thing, it's way too long... guess again. You are not Alone. * When I was in middle school, I was bullied relentlessly. It got to the point where the teachers just wouldn't try and do anything about it anymore. But I made it through and I looked forward to school every day. Why? I had a close circle of friends that would always support me. I always felt happy when I was around them. Even after I moved, I still stay in contact with them. * Proving this is basically [[Tropers/AdelePotter my]] life mission,

and suicide prevention. ---Want to return to the main article? YouAreNotAlone. Come on. Let's go together. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YouAreNotReady This is attainable with sufficient dosages of various drugs. This troper smoked a little too much of the legal herb salvia divinorum, and was put firmly in his place by PowersThatBe. Trying to replicate this experiment is strongly discouraged. ---* This troper asked ThePowersThatBe (also known as her parents) about when she would get 'the talk'. They told her that [[YouAreNotReady she wasn't ready]] to hear it from them and that she had to discover it herself. This troper is 22, last asked a couple of weeks ago, and is tired of hearing them say that. Luckily, her [[ForbiddenFruit curiosity got the better of her]]; she mostly just asks now to keep her parents guessing. Though it's a never-ending cycle... ** Ask them the common symptoms of pregnancy to ''really'' screw with em. *** This troper never got "the talk" either. Mother found it redundant when she found this troper reading a medical textbook on the full reproductive process and said, "That takes care of that, I suppose." **** Are you me, by any chance? **** I didn't need the talk, as I discovered NC-17 fanfics on ff.net when I was nine. Yeah, I know, right? I was on the internet when ff.net still had NC-17 fics. Shocking, I know. **** Whoa, you too? **** This troper also never had the talk. Extensive internet browsing sessions mixed with young curiosity resulted in this troper never needing the talk. ***** Those fics left this trope with some very confused ideas about sex when he was younger. Anal can hurt, who knew? *** This troper was lucky enough to get The Talk from a ''sex-ed class in school''. This trope did, however, come into effect when the word "lesbian" turned up in an ad for a TV show, however. ** This troper's mother ask my aunt, social worker who usually teach sex-ed, to let me read her ''Sexual education manual''. I was ten, it worked thought. ** This troper also figured it out on her own. [[SarcasmMode Totally wholesomely]] and just out of interest and [[SincerityMode knowledgeknowing intrigue.]] (19 years old here) * This troper seems to be one of the few that actually ''did'' get the the talk from a parent. It was just her and her mother, on an awkwardly quiet and bumpy road in the middle of nowhere. It wasn't even relevant; I suppose she just thought, "Well, nothing ''else'' to do for an hour!" * Averted in my case. I had a little girl in my preschool class who

told me where babies came from. So when my mother came to pick me up, I demanded (in front of the other children and mothers) "Mommy, is it true that babies come from putting penises in vaginas?" I wish I remembered the look on her face. * I was....Eh, 10-12. I had fallen in PACL with Inuyasha and the gang. Went to look up fanfiction, got more then I bargained for! Boy do I miss the old FFN. It had some damn good smut! ---YouAreNotReady to go back to the main page. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YouAreWhatYouHate * [[Tropers/{{Crion87}} This troper]] has oft-times fallen into this category - being a white Australian male and hating other white Australians (usually women) based on their being Australian (admittedly there is a bit of a nationality-based version of MySpeciesDothProtestTooMuch in action here). This troper also knows [[{{YouFailLogicForever}} he fails logic forever]] because of it. ** Liking and disliking has nothing to do with logic, though. Still, you might want to work at this attitude... * Come on, this is something we have SeenAMillionTimes on the Internet, heck, a ''billion'' times: those guys that call other "geeks/losers/with no life/who don't have sex" are usually not the kind of persons that are the opposite of their insults. * This troper doesn't hate Black people, as he is one himself and that would just be [[DontBeAMenace ludicrous self hatred]], but he often finds himself internally fearing groups of young Black men as any typical suburban white person would, as portrayed by the media. * Sadly, I really think that most of real life examples are aversions: I used to believe in the psychology subtext of this trope as well as others, but then I found out that most people hate things because they truly mean it. Hate is such a powerful human emotion, and doesn't take any freudian excuse to appear. * This troper will usually hate people for various character faults which he fully well knows that he has himself. This could be a slight aversion though as he doesn't exactly like himself much either for exactly the same reasons... * This troper falls into this category when it comes to internet trolling. Admitadly, her form of trolling is more like arguing with trolls so that they death threat at her and not at nice little kids posting happy comments about how much they love xyz, but the trollish component of my internet behavior remains. * According to my dad (we're Canadian) my great-grandfather was a Norwegian-turned-Canadian nationalist who considered everyone who got off the boat after ''him'' to be an immigrant. Was apparently quite offensive about it too. Charming fellow. * I'm not "You Are What You Hate" as much as I am "You Hate What You Are". * Tropers/DesertDragon: I was intensely homophobic for most of my

childhood and adolescence (being raised Baptist didn't help). For the next six years I struggled with my feelings, slowly accepting gays before finally coming out at 19. Now in my mid-20's, I'm as secure and comfortable with myself as can be, openly gay with family and friends and having a healthy dating life. Many people struggle with these feelings their entire lives, which is why I strongly believe in this trope. The bigger the homophobe, the more likely he has something to hide. * I used to really hate people that are envious, arrogant or insensitive. Then I realized that was exactly what I was myself... Cue HeroicBSOD followed by a slow process of [[IGotBetter getting better]]. * I was sexually assaulted when I was younger. Guess who pressured the girl she has stupid confusing romantic feelings for into having sex when we were both drunk, she much more so than I? Yeah, I've become what I hate most in the world. I don't know what to do... we haven't spoken since then.... * As a misanthrope I hate almost everyone. I hate people I've never even spoken to before, for no apparent reason. I have an especially strong hatred of youths and being a teenager myself it is quite odd. ** It'll pass, trust me. In a few years it will have sucked you dry and the most intense thing you'll be able to feel will be mild disappointment, occasionally rising from the calm ocean of apathy that you've become. Then you'll slowly start trying to pick up the pieces of your emotionality, never really trusting anyone or anything, sometimes hopeful but ultimately expecting the world to prove your hating it was justified. And it will, every time. Hatred rises when the world around you doesn't conform to your expectations, my guess is you're quite idealistic. And the world is far from perfect, so you can either suppress your idealism and try to adapt, or try to figure out your own way to deal with it. Needless to say i'm projecting, correct me if i'm wrong with my assumptions and i guess this can also be considered my own entry to the page. *** As the previous post says, you will likely become quite apathetic regarding people and their intentions, I did and still have that problem, my solution is to find people that are able to match you in intelligence/viewpoint or are able to amuse you or otherwise make you interested in them. Otherwise you will become numb and prone to occasional feelings of rage because things spiral way out of your control. * [[@/{{Tadaru}} This troper]] got angry at people for forgetting answers to questions he had already answered. Just a few weeks ago, he realized that the fact that he can't remember peoples' faces or names very well (almost certainly due to AspergerSyndrome) is very much the same concept and no one's gotten pissed at him over it. Now he feels like a {{Jerkass}}.*cries* * This troper will consistently call someone an idiot and then proceed to mock her stupidity and ignorance the DAY after wards. * [[Tropers/GalenDev This Troper]] ''hates'' actors. He's worked with enough of them over the years. About six or seven weeks ago (January, 2011), he was laying down background voices for a cartoon he was VORDirecting, and suddenly it hit him. Cue VillainousBSOD.

* "Hate" is pretty strong... but [[{{Tropers/Webby}} this tropette]] dislikes all but a small handful of teenage girls, finding them to be ditzy, trendy, and oftentimes sleazy but overall devoid of personality. She also doesn't like female vocals much, for some reason. ...I am 17 years old and I like to sing at local events. * A few weeks ago, I met a guy that was pretty much the real life, skinny version of Ruckus from TheBoondocks. He pointed to a torn-down gas station across the street and informed us that it was in tact earlier that morning. Then he stated one of the biggest [[CrowningMomentOfFunny Crowning Moments of Funny]] I've ever witnessed. -->''Random Guy:'' "I blame all of this here on Obama. A black man should never be allowed in office. We're all a bunch of niggers." *I begin to crack up* "You can say the nigger-word if you want. I was around in '56 and heard it all the damn time." * This black troper has met a lot of black people who acted with contempt toward other black people, but praised other ethnic groups and even tried to imitate them. A particularly nasty Driver's Ed teacher comes to mind. * This Sicilian-American troper can't stand [[MeLoveYouLongTime western guys who have a very strong preference for east Asian women]]. Guess which race two-thirds of the women he's attracted to belong to? ---[[{{BattlestarGalactica}} Frakkin']] tropers! I'm going to storm back to YouAreWhatYouHate and get away from the ''other'' Troper scum! <<|TroperTales|>>

YouCannotGraspTheTrueForm [[AC: Troper's original fiction]] * This troper has written a few short stories (more like short descriptions really) of a being called "The Unexistant". Apparantly, REALITY ITSELF cannot grasp the true form of the Unexistant, so it sleeps at the edge of reality. When it wakes up, it will defy, disprove and then DESTROY reality. BY WAKING UP. ** [[HPLovecraft Azathoth]]? :3 * [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Tropers/Sabrinadiamond sabrina_diamond's]] characters cannot comprehend the ghastly [[OriginalCharacter OC]] Underworld Ruler/Psychopomp which is thereby known as... '[[spoiler: The One.]]' One of the antagonists at least tried to and thus she WentMadFromTheRevelation that she was DeadAllAlong * This troper made an ongoing comic thing for about a year. The ultimate big bad? A creature so horrible it killed everything in its universe and ''became'' said universe. It only appears in the shape of an eye because thats the form of the last creature it killed before its ascent.

YouCanSeeMe * In the "ghost story" version of the trope, [[JET73L This Troper]] was once reading a book in the furnished basement and felt it would be a good idea to look up. Moments later, a [[RobeAndWizardHat purplerobed]] TheFaceless (hood-obscuring-face version) walked through the door of the boiler room as though it was open and stood there for a minute before turning towards the troper-to-be, raising a hand in what appeared to be surprise, and suddenly not being there. The "failed camoflage" version was once PlayedForLaughs by the troper during a game of HideAndSeek, since it's kind of difficult ''not'' to be seen around the edges of a 5"x8" paperback book three feet above the corner of a bed. * This Troper's mental reaction whenever a stranger in a crowd talks to him. ---'''[[supersecretspoiler: [[AC: Main Page link:]]]]''' YouCanSeeMe!? ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YouCanVerbMyNounAnyDay * This troper has always wanted to say "You can [[HPLovecraft correlate my contents]] any day." More precisely, she's always wanted to meet the kind of guy who would [[GeekyTurnOn appreciate it]]. ** "Be it blue, green, grey, white, or black; smooth, ruffled, or mountainous; I'd show you that your Ocean need not be silent any day." * This troper's friend, upon seeing our schools rather attractive new gym teacher, remarked "She can help me with gym anyday." Of course, that's what she's there for, but he probably thought he was being clever. ** He should have used "She can pump my iron anyday" or "She can stretch MY muscles!", that's what I would have said. ** [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean She can dodge my balls anyday - She can bench my press - She can clean my jerk]]...really, I could go on and on... *** [[FridgeLogic Wait, why would you want her to]] ''[[FridgeLogic dodge]]'' [[FridgeLogic your balls?]] ** She can vault my horse? * This troper is not a lawyer, but if he were he would look for an opening to say, "You can habeas my corpus any day." ** Which technically makes sense even if you're speaking in a dead language, as 'habeas' means 'know' and 'corpus' means body, not necessarily a dead one. *** YouFailDeadLanguagesForever, as 'habeas' comes from the verb 'habeo', which means 'to have'. (As well as a lot of related meanings. None of them being 'to know'.) "You can have my body any day" sounds pretty cheesy as far as pick-up lines go, besides 'You can habeas' is grammatically wrong as 'habeas' is the wrong form of the verb. *** Wrong. "Habeo" is the first person singular marked form; "habere" is the infinitive. *** This Troper is a history / linguistics / anthropology student in

university. He officially adopts this as his new pickup line, thank you very much Original Poster. Ditto for the socialist one below, if he ever meets a socialist. * This troper is just waiting for the opportunity to meet someone with socialist leanings and say 'you can seize ''my'' means of production any day you like.' ** That's . . . that's fantastic. Seriously, have an internet or three. ** That's completely fucking brilliant. Have a basket of cookies and a hug. *hugs* * Be PyroSkittle the only one who has actually used a proper form of this? Ironically, I used the actual expression given here in English where my crush (who sat next to me) asked me about sentence structure. I literally said, 'You can verb my noun anyday,' and surprisingly, it actually helped him learn the difference between adverbs and pronouns. He still said no when I asked him out, though. ** You win an internet. Use it wisely. ** The guy you talked to also loses an internet for not going out with a girl who qoutes Tv Tropes. * "Now we're going to do the butterfly!" "You can butter my fly any day." * I use a variant of this as an insult... I'll verb ''your'' noun! this happened when one day I got in a lame insult war with my older brother.... "Your face is stupid" "your mom is stupid" "your mom's face is stupid" (at this point her was sure he had won) "well, I'll stupid your mom's face!" it has since evolved to mostly only use verbs and nouns however.... ** I had one that progressed similarly. It ended with "Oh yeah? Well, I glass penis YOU!" It then dissolved into laughter. * This troper and her friend play ''zOMG!'' rather often. Upon seeing a gift box for the first time, and having it tell him to "FILL THE BOX!", this troper's friend says, "I'll fill your box any day." * One day at school, eating lunch, I had a few of these, based on various random food items. The two I remember most are "you can rice my crispy any day" and "you can pop my tart any day". ** [[{{Eccentric}} I]] had something similar happen during a conversation with friends. To this day, I cannot think of Apple Jacks without laughing inside. * In a subversion, this troper and company like to use non-puns enhanced with bass-toned voices and vaguely southern accents. The idea is to use utterly non sexy material like "I just had a grilled cheese sandwich." * "I'll send troops through ''your'' capital." Eww. * This troper has used "I'll drown ''your'' Pikachu". [[ItMakesSenseInContext It Makes--]] okay it really doesn't make much sense in context either. RuleOfFunny. * I once blurted out, "I'll culture ''your'' enlightenment!" I have also internally said this trope many times. * This is done frequently on Fark whenever there's an article about a hot actress and it will generally involve some pop culture reference about her. * This troper once saw a random piece of fantasy art on 4chan,

accompanied by a comment along the lines of "this is what Little Red Riding Hood should have looked like." This troper's response was, of course: -->''She can carry a basket of goodies to my house any day.'' * [[{{Eccentric}} I]] actually used this to study for a college biology test once. We has to remember where various energy processes went on in the cell, leading to "I'd like your electron transport chain in my inner membrane." * This troper always wanted to find a girl which uses Linux, just so he can say "you can grep my module anyday". (BTW, for him, 'grep' is just fun to say) * If Youtube Myspace, I'll Google your Yahoo. * This troper, having a crush on the main character of Karin/Chibi Vampire, says that "Karin can bite my neck any day" ** Similar story with this troper. She has an unusual/uncomfortable fondness for [[{{TeamFortress2}} Medic]] and says that, "Doktor can examine me any time!" * [[Tropers/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] would love to meet a girl who as nerdy as he is, just so he can say to her "You can use my [[Series/DoctorWho sonic screwdriver]] any day". ** How 'bout "You can fly my [[Series/DoctorWho TARDIS]] any day"? * A good 40% of this troper's conversation consists of conversation of this variety, [[RuleOfFunny nonsensical or otherwise.]] * [[SCPFoundation You can expunge my data anyday.]] When I find a girl who can appreciate that one I'm marrying her on the spot. ** I know one, she's [[spoiler:__]] years old and lives near [Redacted]. * I think HuskyStarcraft had a realy good one, "I so want to Nydus your main." * "I'm onna square your root in a second!" (a TA for an elementary school this troper went to years ago) * As a task for an induction process, this troper's crush had to sing a song to her (any song). He ended up singing "Light My Fire" by [[TheDoors]] and doing a great Jim Morrison impression. Later, the same troper decided on the CodeName Jim Morrison for her crush. She jokingly said, "He can light my fire any day." ---Baby, you can return to my [[YouCanVerbMyNounAnyDay main page]] any day. * [[RedvsBlue Bow chicka bow wow!]] ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YouClonedHitler * This troper cloned a cauliflower in a biology practical once...you've got to start somewhere. * This troper once had a dream that Hitler was giving a speech at a school in an auditorium. Someone assassinated him, but another Hitler came out from behind the curtains and resumed giving the speech, and the assassin was soon taken away.

* This troper once had the idea of a good Hitler that came from an alternate history via a Time Machine. My friends thought it was lame and, [[http://www.angryflower.com/goodhi.gif it's been done]]

YouDidntAsk * I use this approach on the issue of my [[BiTheWay bisexuality]]. I have no desire to stage a huge "coming out", so the people who know, do so because they have asked. ** I wish I knew you in person. We'd be best friends. *** This troper would like to organize a [[PartyKnownAsAnOrgy celebration...]] * I go by my middle name. One day, my Spanish teacher, who was told by an unidentified third party, asked why I'd never mention this. I answered, "You never asked". * In a variation on this, this troper very rarely does anything without being asked to do it first. It irritates people sometimes. * This troper was failing science at one time and her mother thought it was due to laziness. This troper let her think so because she didn't really care much for school in general. When her mother found out the reason she was failing was due to needing help, her mother asked her why she didn't tell her in the first place. This troper replied, "You didn't ask." Another time, she was babysitting her younger sister and her sister went to the store by herself. When Mom came back home, Sis hadn't gotten back yet. Mom looked all over the house for her and called her cell phone repeatedly, but she didn't pick up. When Sis finally got back, Mom immediately asked her where she was and Sis told her she just went to the store to get some milk, but had to go to a store farther away because the corner one was closed. When Mom asked this troper if she knew this, she said yes and when Mom asked her why she didn't tell her, she said, "You didn't ask." Although, I was sleeping when my sister left and the only reason I knew she had gone to the store was because of a note she left saying so. * ThisTroper says this all the time to his friends, because he won't tell anything if he doesn't think anyone wants to know. * My ex-wife used to pull this all the time. She had to be really creative because I tend to ask broad questions, "How was your day?" "Did anything unusual happen today?" * An inversion of this in the case of this troper and his brother. Whenever a development...[[ShapedLikeItself develops]] that we don't know about, we keep asking questions about said development until our parents decide to finally tell us and say something to the effect of "Didn't you know this?" Our response is normally "Well, NOBODY TELLS ME ANYTHING!" * [[{{Tropers/Sharysa}} This Troper]] has surprised a number of people who didn't know one of three things until recently: 1) She is a Celtic Neo-pagan. 2) She is an actor. 3) She knows archery and Shaolin Kung Fu. Rather justified since those nobody really ''needs'' to ask and it would be really stupid to randomly bring them up for the sake of conversation. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking She will probably surprise

even more people if she tells them she works at a dentist's office.]] * This troper's best friend is a wonderful example. He is very truthful, and he indeed never tells a lie. However, there is a huge amount of information about himself that you would never know unless you asked the right questions. He is even willing to admit to crushes/past crushes if you ask. But only if. This troper can be bad about this as well, but certainly not to that extent. * -->Why didn't you tell me that this was the link back to [[{{You Didnt Ask}} You Didn't Ask]]!? -->"Well, [[{{You Didnt Ask}} you didn't ask, so]]...

YouDoNOTWantToKnow * I frequently tell my friends that they're better off not knowing about some of my writing. (It's really not all ''that'' disturbing, it's just GenderBender stories and most of my friends aren't the kind to like it. At least, I don't think they are.) I'm also fond of the phrase "I could tell you, but then you'd only know." * Me being a 12 year old internet addict/anime addict and the girl I now have a crush on were talking about yaoi/yuri (no detail, as we were kids) and my best friend's brother (aged 9) asked "what's yaoi?". I said that and now he will not shut up * I can say from personal experience that invoking this trope in order to shut someone up never, ever works. Ever. ** It really doesn't. But you know what? Sometimes, you just have to put up with the pestering for the sake of your poor friend's sanity. This troper usually repeats 'you don't wanna know' a few times, then walks away if they haven't dropped it. ** This troper would disagree. He told someone "You. Don't. Want. To. Know. Least you need brainbleach." and that made him stop inquiring. * This troper and some friends were wondering where they should go at lunchtime once. Someone said that we didn't want to go on the field because of [[NoodleIncident "Ya Know... that"]]. I asked what they meant, she told me I didn't want to know, I said something like "I do, that's why I'm asking". ... Turned out someone we know had sex on it. * I have such a reputation for [[CloudCuckoolander outrageous]] and [[{{Squick}} disturbing]] thoughts that when I say "You don't want to know," people believe me. ** You too? * I have problems understanding jokes. Specially when they're inner jokes (even if I ''should'' understand) or pervy jokes. So, usually, before trying to figure it out, I realize ''I'' do NOT want to know. Half of the times, when I say it out loud, people tell me [[{{Squick}} their "fascinating stories"]] anyways. * [[ARandomSerf This troper,]] during a light-hearted RP session in which he was trying to {{Squick}} another character into leaving him alone, remarked, "YouDoNOTWantToKnow what turns me on." Cue {{Squick}} reaction from another guy at the table, who knew [[TooMuchInformation all]] [[NightmareFetishist too]] [[YouDoNOTWantToKnow well]] what the answer was in real life.

* This troper invokes this trope all the time to get people interested. The troper then tells a deliberately over the top and disgusting story (that is never true) that grosses people out. It's amazing how easily people fall for the do not want to know. * [[TheGolux This troper]] always wants to know. Because whatever it is, it's not worse than what his imagination is coming up with. * This troper delights in relating tales that would normally fall under "You do not want to know", and for some reason people find me trustworthy despite every other thing I say (possibly even this entry) being a lie. So on the rare occasions that I do utter those words (generally because I'm not in the mood to make up an Aristocrats joke), people don't press further. * Over the years, this troper learned many disturbing facts from places such as Animal Planet (The Most Extreme in particular), as well as read a few gross horror novels and short stories. He usually keeps them to himself, but finds himself warning a person multiple times before telling them. * This troper has people say this often enough, and is genre saavy enough to know that it is generally true. However, this troper is too curious to care about that, and usually finds out anyway * Guys generally do NOT want to know about girly stuff (IfYouKnowWhatIMean), but one of my unfriends kept on asking. When I told him, he pretended not to understand, but... I think he got scarred for life. * [[IceWolfKlaske This troper]] has gained much very interesting knowledge browsing TvTropes and its links. Brainbleach would be nice, now and then. * This trope, along with NoodleIncident, and the FlatWhat are a part of [[MmmKay this troper's]] ''breakfast''. * How about that conspicuous link to the SCPFoundation (DON'T CLICK IT!) on the main page's index thingy? "SCP Foundation? What's that?" "Ooh, cool. A government conspiracy about various supernatural objects. Gotta check that out!" "Wow, an invincible reptile, a hat that makes you unnoticeable and floppy disks that store the entire internet! And what's this? Ticket to the neverending-" (clicks link and reads...) "[[{{Squick}} Oh dear god!]] [[NightmareFuelUnleaded The SCP Foundation is a horror novel in disguise!]] [[BigNo NOOOOOOOOO]]!!!" * My best friend asked, while I was playing DragonAgeOrigins about the creature I was fighting against was. It was a Broodmother. I said, "YouDoNOTWantToKnow." He said, "[[SchmuckBait I have an iron stomach.]]" After an explanation of how a Broodmother is made and what it does, he threw up quite messily on the floor. The VomitDiscretionShot trope was not invoked. * I play with this. I never say "You don't wanna know." It's always "I don't wanna know," or "Do I ''even'' wanna know?" * I was reading a book while my sister and her friend were watching a {{Glee}} re-run. I overheard "this is the episode where so-and-so gets slushied." Knowing I'd either misheard or misunderstood, I glanced up and said, "wait, 'slushied?'" "Oh, yeah. It's where the popular kids dump slushies on others' heads." Seeing my bemused "I should have known" look, she added, "What were you thinking of?"

"[[HighOctaneNightmareFuel/MassEffect Something completely different]].[[hottip:* :[[ImMelting Reduction to the consistency of a slushie.]]]] Don't ask, you don't want to know. [[{{Understatement}} Besides, it didn't make sense in the context anyways]]." * Anybody who's enough of a schmuck to ask "Oh, is that true?" when I say "You don't wanna know" will now get an improvised speech, where I will invoke IncestIsRelative, HotSkittyOnWailordAction, EverythingsWorseWithBears, ScrewYourself, and make something worthy of an Aristocrats joke. * I brought up a dead friend that I had because I met her uncle at work to a close friend of mine. A third friend why it was so important (I never told him who said dead friend was), when my Close friend said YouDoNOTWantToKnow. Thankfully, Third friend did not bring it back up. * There was this little house where a kidless couple were living. One day, they got divorced and he sold the house with everything inside it at a very little price. Then my aunt moved in, and started to check her new things...there was, among other things, a whip. When I tried to ask what were the other things, she invoked this trope. * Something of a [[InJoke running]] [[NightmareFuel gag]] in the flag party of [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Tropers/Airedar my]] squadron involved the band major (female) and the Captain doing horrible, horrible things. She (the band major), upon hearing us discuss said thing, wanted to know what it was. She pressed further. I invoked this trope by name. She now takes me very, very seriously when I say this. ** Specifically, the '[[CosmicHorror joke]]' was [[spoiler: too horrible to repeat here]]. * I invokes this often enough due to a lot of strange experiences. The other day I was sitting around IMing my friend when the topic of why my parents won't let me go to Russia for the 2018 World Cup came up. Cue trope name followed by, "and don't ask. I prefer to leave it as a NoodleIncident." * This troper said the exact phrase when a female friend asked me how I knew what "Yaoi" was. (Damn you, TV Tropes!) * This is [[Tropers/AdelePotter This Tropette]] and her best friend's catchphrase. --> '''Other Friend:''' Uh, guys? Why do you two never like to talk about the field trip to the theater? What happened? --> '''Tropette/BFF:''' You don't wanna know. * This troper was once in a VampireTheRequiem game in which his sire had sent him to talk to a Lancea Sanctum bishop with some...unusual habits. He asked one member of his coterie, who was able to Obfuscate, to come along as backup. He told the others that while they were invited, as it was ostensibly a social call, they really, really would not want to come. They insisted on tagging along anyway. The bishop was of a bloodline called the Feeders and they were asked to dinner. * This is more or less the standard answer i give for why my relationship ended with my last girlfriend. Suffice to say, it was a very negative situation and i'd have people hate me for admitting the exact reason. Hence "you dont want to know" because well, they don't. * This troper was once discussing a particularly steamy yaoi manga she had just read with a fellow fangirl in Anime Club, when a male member

(who was a few years younger) comes in with "What's yaoi?" This troper said "You don't want to know." Fellow fangirl was apparently feeling sadistic that day told him to Google it with SafeSearch off. The poor kid trusted Fellow Fangirl more than this troper, [[Main/Squick so he did.]] In IT class the next day, apparently. If only he had trusted this troper when she quoted this trope. * This troper's friend invoked this trope when refusing to tell her what "gerbiling" was. She insisted. He told her. [[ComedicSociopathy She laughed for about five minutes.]] * I overheard a conversation in class between my teacher and two teenage boys. The boys had been laughing about something, but had not explicitly said what. --> '''Teacher''': What are you laughing about? --> '''Boy 1''': You don't want to know. --> '''Teacher''': Try me. --> '''Boy 2''': *whispers it to her* --> '''Teacher''': Wow, holy crap. You're right. I ''didn't'' want to know that. --> '''Me''': I have a rule. I'm generally a curious person, but if teenage boys say I don't want to know, I ''trust them''. ---[[Main/YouDoNOTWantToKnow You do NOT want to go back to the trope. Seriously.]] <<|TroperTales|>>

YouFailAnimalCareForever * Don't start giving your puppy/kitten adult food just because it ''grew slightly''. This troper [[FacePalm facepalmed]] when she heard of people doing that. If you aren't sure if it's ready for adult food, ask a vet. * Carnivals often give away green anoles as prizes to games. Along with being labeled "chameleons," these anoles are often given away with cramped containers and a ''piece of lettuce'' as food. To those wondering, anoles are insectivores, and are unlikely to eat anything that isn't moving. * This troper's known people who accidentally killed their parakeets because they thought the birds didn't need to drink water. * One time it was raining at camp, and an abundance of little frogs gathered about. We realized quickly that frogs are delicate. Frogs do not like being dropped from large heights or making friends with humans. One girl found a frog and named it, "Dirt". According to her, Dirt loved to be buried in his namesake. Dirt died quickly. * This troper has found that almost nobody knows the proper way to take care of rabbits. Not even the zoo she volunteers at was doing it right. ** Seriously? They are not that hard to take care of... ** They're actually a bit of work if you really read up on the subject. ** Even this troper had basic knowledge on how rabbits were supposed to be cared for when she first got one. The reason she died was

because she wasn't committed (and lazy) enough to take care of it, which she now sadly regrets to this very day. * This Troper failed animal care while she was housesitting for a friend. This friend had ELEVEN animals. Three dogs, five cats, two guinea pigs, a goldfish. The dogs would eat any and everything. Well, one day, I returned to the house for my lunch break, since it was two streets down from my workplace and I was sick of dealing with coworkers and customers. I opened the door and found a dented, empty can of fish flakes in the living room. The smallest of the dogs had fish flakes sticking to his muzzle. Turns out I had forgotten to put the dogs in their kennel before leaving for work. I spent my lunch break in Wal-Mart looking for a new can of fish flakes. Fail. * This troper once read an article on large bird rescue and rehabilitation where the caretaker mentioned dealing with a woman who tried to feed an injured owl tomatoes. TOMATOES PEOPLE! * One of [[@/{{endlessness}} this troper]]'s neighbours went on vacation and left their dog at home, locked with a few bowls of food and water. A few days later, the police was called due to the nasty smell coming from that house: the dog was beginning to starve. * Most people have not the smallest clue how to handle guinea pigs. They put them into small cages with sawdust - guinea pigs develop bronchitis and cancers from the small particles of saw dust and bone diseases and deformations from the too soft underground. They need stable ground. Also, they are often fed dried corns and appear on the packages of those. However, guinea pigs should eat greens and fresh stuff and only rarely corns, as they get addicted to the dried food, which deprives them of water and makes them fat. In the worst case, guinea pigs are kept alone, which is the WORST THING EVER you can do to a guinea pigs. They need a big, big family but at least one comrade. * {{Tropers/Anderling}} worked at a pet store for two weeks as work experience. One of my coworkers told me about a woman who asked him where they kept the ferret food. Upon being shown the two flavors, chicken and beef, she shouted at him that ferrets are vegetarians and would never eat meat. For some reason, [[http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/31/Buffy_teeth.jpg this]] does not look like a herbivore to me. * A co-worker once had a woman in his pet store who insisted on buying a clownfish (aka Nemo) to take home and put in with her goldfish. Saltwater fish in a fresh water bowl... This troper has also met a woman who let her daughter play with her Betta in the bathtub! It apparently survived the experience. * If you find a baby animal outside somewhere, the best thing you can do for it to either ''leave it alone'' or is try to put it in/near its nest, or failing that, take it to a wildlife sanctuary. This troper works at a pet store, and dies a little inside every time she has to explain that the baby rabbit someone found in their yard will more likely than not be unfriendly when it grows up, due to being a different species than the domestic rabbit and having different behavior. "But it's small." Yes, and A WILD ANIMAL. Being cute or little doesn't change the fact that it's wild.

YouFailBiologyForever * I never passed Biology class in high school. Until further notice I LITERALLY fail biology forever. ** [[MemeticMutation I see what you did there]]. * A buddy of mine had a terribly feminist professor who insisted that there was no difference between the sexes. He naturally raised the point of reproduction, and whether or not two women can produce a child without male assistance. Her response was "Maybe". This may be permitted, human parthenogenesis not being conclusively disproved and all that. He then asked whether two males can produce a child. Again, she said "Maybe". At that point he stopped asking questions and gave up entirely. *** A female ex-classmate of mine was absolutely convinced that women are superior to men because a woman can have a baby by herself while a man cannot. When asked to provide an example, she replied "it happened once, about 2000 years ago." ** It's a very good thing he didn't go into the average physical difference between the male and female brains then. People have got to learn it's about not expecting someone to be a certain way because of gender, not that we ignore differences. Just because the average woman is a certain way, doesn't mean that all women are a certain way. x.x ** Well, considering trans people, it is very possible for two femaleidentified people to have a child or two male-identified people to have a child, but I might be reading too much into things. ** Actually technically it is possible for two women to have a child read about it [[http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/families/f/PAR.htm here]] because that was far better than I could describe it. * This troper's youth group leader (who otherwise seemed like a very nice person) made an aside one day during a discussion that said that music was the best argument he had ever heard against evolution and atheism because music has no evolutionary advantage an proves we have a soul. ** Well, you can think of music as another form of showing worth to prospective mates. It's like our version of peacock feathers. ** On the other hand, said troper had the great fortune to have an AP Biology teacher who was at the same time a fairly religious Baptist who spent an entire class period describing how the Biblical story of creation matches up perfectly with the scientific theory of evolution. *** In the beginning, there was Darwin... *** ^The post above me is Made of Win. * This troper is not sure about a particular example. He remembers an anime movie involving an evil cancer monster which was once a little girl infected with cancer. The cancer grew out of control after she was put in hibernation and the girl became an evil fish thing with a penchant for attaching mecha parts to itself. * We get a good number of these over at {{FSTDT}}, most of which come from {{Conservapedia}}. (The owner must think science is anticonservative.) ** The thing is, you're not too far off with that guess. The wiki's page on its creator says almost that. * This troper remembers a quote from a Biology class... "[The

greenhouse effect] is when it warms up. Therefore, [[CaptainObvious when it warms up is the greenhouse effect]]. Examples: when it warms up." * This troper was once told by his entire class, ''including the teacher'', that sharks were mammals. They wouldn't hear anything to the contrary and it was severely depressing. ** Sharks aren't mammals? *** Whales are mammals. Sharks are fish. *** Wait, I thought they were marsupials? ** The same thing happened to me in fifth grade. My teacher was a complete idiot, though. When we learned about insects, we had a silly worksheet to fill out about the differences between a butterfly and Superman. One of my reasons was that Superman only had four limbs while a butterfly has six. She wrote a comment on my answer: "Do they have ''any''?" * This Troper's Human Biology Teacher is... well, a little strange. She's remarkably insistant on referring to reproduction as sex. Always. Even if she's refering to the high reproduction rate of single-celled organisms, she claims they "have sex all day." It's odd. * My mum and sister think dinosaurs are lizards, even when I have to tell them otherwise. * Seen on Facebook as an argument against homosexuality being genetic: "Genes are passed down from parents and well...gays don't have kids." [[SarcasmMode Right, because recessive genes don't exist & no gay person has ever had a biological child with a beard spouse. Makes sense.]] ** Although, with America and Canada's politics towards homosexuality changing massively over the last few decades, it makes sense that more gays will be coming out of the closest and never end up having children. A few generations and even the recessive genes could end up "going extinct" so to speak, and, well... That's only if homosexuality is genetic, of course, which I personally don't believe in, but it's interesting. *** I don't claim to know whether it is or not; I was just pointing out the guy's complete misunderstanding of genetics. **** It has been observed that promiscuous women have more homosexual male relatives than women who are not promiscuous, and an Italian biologist suggested that the two things are related. In other words: the same genes that make women more attracted to men, make men more attracted to men. ** He seems to have a point. Homosexuality shouldn't be selected for, since it reduces the chance of one's genes being passed on to the next generation. The gene wouldn't die out after one generation, but it would die out after some time. *** ...couldn't it just be an exaggerated expression of whatever makes most people mildly to moderately bisexual? Or something like that? ** There are actually interesting arguments that it does get selected for. Phenotypes aren't binary, after all, they're a combination of gene and environment (siamese cats for instance). It could be (not that I've researched it) that there's a gene that expresses when there's low availability of potential partners to make people comfortable with members of their own sex. There are certainly some

advantages I could think of to part of a population being comfortable sexually and emotionally with their own sex. * This troper had a college professor who claimed that AfricanAmerican women have greater variance in skin tones than AfricanAmerican men because of the practice of white slave masters raping their female slaves. (In fairness she's a history professor, not a biology professor.) * There's an underclassman in our school's drama club who believes that men have periods. They're just called erections. He also believes that just the small intestine would be a mile long if it were stretched out. ** Considering that your brain, if ''all'' the wrinkles were flattened out, would cover a tennis court, that claim, while false, is not entirely stupid. * This troper is part of a roleplay group in which one character had cancer. Due to some confusion, his player seemed to think that metastatic (tumours spread to different parts of the body than the origin), meant MIGRATORY, so said character's tumour actually MOVED AROUND his body, changing and having different symptoms as it encountered different organs. The amusement this caused the rest of us rather destroyed the angst of the scene. Granted, this was a sci-fi... but still... ** This troper GM'd aforementioned game and thinks the answer is just as silly. It was time cancer..... *** Too bad this was before May or Jun 2011. Then you could have had it move to the brain and give him [[Series/DoctorWho Time Head]]. ** Constantly mutating & shifting cancer? [[{{Deadpool}} Did the character also have]] MediumAwareness? * My younger sister believes that some humans are "cold-blooded" meaning they are incredibly resistant to cold because of a low blood temperature or something, and that I must be that because I don't get cold easily. * This troper came across a fanfiction where somebody's spine was broken, before falling off of a cliff and getting away almost scottfree - save for partial blindness and deafness that HEALED using painkillers and [[ThePowerOfLove the power of love]]. I deeply pity their science teacher. * In my college ecology laboratory class, the main assignment is an independent and original research project. We were looking at sample research proposals, both good and bad, from previous years. One of them include the line "Earthworms, which are bisexual organisms..." * My college Anthropology course had to do a lot of background in basic biology, and the teacher tried to compress the entire evolution of life, from the Precambrian to the Cenozoic, into one lecture period. This resulted in some real kickers. He went straight from flying reptiles to birds, although birds evolved from actual dinosaurs, not from small, flying reptiles that happened to be alive when the dinosaurs were. He also covered therapsids after the dinosaurs, making it appear as though they were a more recent development, although the Earth's surface was dominated by largish therapsids that mostly went extinct in one great disaster at the BEGINNING of the age of dinosaurs. He conflated this disaster with the

one that wiped the dinosaurs out, and implied that true mammals did not evolve until the Cenozoic, when it's been known that small mammals existed throughout the Mesozoic since we still thought Apatosaurus snorkeled in swamps. Oh, and his slide projections were so out-ofdate, there were illustrations of hadrosaurs with literal duck-bills, and Apatosaurus snorkeling in swamps. Again, this is a COLLEGE. SCIENCE. COURSE. Paleontology may not be his particular field of interest, but he should be able to get the basic timeline in order. * This troper saw a sign in a restaurant restroom reminding customers that drinking alcohol while pregnant is ill-advised and can cause birth defects, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, etc., so "if you are pregnant or trying to become pregnant, the wisest course is to avoid alcohol entirely." All pretty standard stuff, and it wouldn't seem like an example of this trope... [[FridgeLogic until you realize]] that the sign was [[MisterSeahorse in the MEN'S restroom]]. ** Well, seing as it's rather common for women to use the men's restroom, it could be seen as a rule of caution. * This Troper once overheard an argument between two girls on weather sharks were mammals or not. Make of that what you will. * I once taught a female, adult friend that we females do not urinate through our vaginas. * In this Troper's Biology class, while ''learning about genetics'', some guys asked me if somebody could get cancer by being injected with [=HeLa=] cells. Cue headdesk. * In another period of AP Biology, thankfully not mine, there was a girl who asked the teacher a question about whether we need two x chromosomes to survive. The teacher replied that was false since half of the people in the class were living despite lacking both. Not only was the question should have never been asked in the first place considering the contents were basic but also the males were the ones who went, "WHERE?!" Cue facepalm. If I were a guy, I would have been offended. It was amusing but pathetic. * [[@/ARandomSerf This troper]] went to a Danish museum with a display of a whale shark, "the world's largest mammal." My head hurts. ** Especially ironic since the worlds largest mammal (Blue whale) is about twice as large as a Whale Shark. * According to my Year 11 Biology teacher, cows eat mice. This wasn't the only gem she came out with, but it was certainly the most memorable. I went on to get an A in Biology. How does that work? * This troper got into an argument with a friend about whether or not dolphins are related to whales (I assured her that dolphins are, in fact, whales.) she supported herself with "Whales are mammals, dolphins are fish!" And when I said the contrary she Proclaimed "That's like saying sharks are fish!" * This troper had a boy in her class that insisted that her twin brother was her identical twin, because we both had brown hair and eyes, never mind the fact we are different genders. Yet again this was the same boy that believed that birds gave birth to live young and eggs were a type of fruit. ---Go back to YouFailBiologyForever, or else your hair will fall out from overexposure to this yellow background.

YouFailEconomicsForever * In a ''{{Shadowrun}}'' round [[@/MaxSinister this troper]] played in. One player with experience in work life and economy wanted to play a character who makes money with investments at the stock exchange. The GM was still studying and not GenreSavvy and made up a mechanism for simulating this which often resulted in the player character gaining 30% in a short time. Getting filthy rich in a few sessions JustAsPlanned, I guess. * I just got into an argument with a guy on Youtube who thinks that what Stalin did was okay because he only killed "thieves." I have already pointed out that the concept of theft is based on private property, which didn't exist in the Soviet Union. ** So he not only [[YouFailEconomicsForever failed economics]], he completely [[YouFailHistoryForever goofed history]] ''and'' [[YouFailPoliticsForever politics]]! Now that's [[EpicFail raising the bar]]! ** Private property ''did'' exist in the Soviet Union, but it was heavily regulated, and private ''business'' was nonexistent. Stalin, like so many dictators assumed that his political system was perfect, and every problem was caused by traitors who sabotaged the system from within, so eliminating traitors would ensure a perfect society. When things went worse with the purges, it only proved that there were more traitors to be eliminated!

YouFailGeographyForever * This troper once knew a girl who said after hearing that Avian Flu could spread from Russia to America via Alaska, "No! Alaska isn't near Russia... Alaska's near Hawaii!" ** Don't you know? Alaska went off to hang out with Hawaii with California after the [[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/end end of the world]]. ** No, [[{{Dave Barry}} they towed it down near Hawaii and put it in a box so it'd be easier to make maps.]] * This troper had a friend who thought Canada was a state, our country is called North America, and Bermuda is near Calfornia. * This troper had a classmate who thought that the continent of Asia is located in New Jersey and that China is located where Australia is. ** This troper didn't know that Austria and Australia were saparate countries until she moved to Germany. Her reaction to seeing Austria on the map next to Germany was "But isn't it supposed to be in Asia?!" * As a child this troper thought that Iceland was Turkey. He still has no idea why. * This troper attended a general cartography course in which the lecturer decided to include an education on basic geography. She said this was necessary because somehow, some students were unable to identify Africa, pointing to South America instead, ''despite the fact that this course was being presented at an African university''. So, don't feel too bad about yourselves, Americans.

* This troper's dad is under the impression that the Nile River begins in England and flows to Egypt. Don't ask me how that works. He also believes that Mt. Everest is between Europe and Asia. * This troper continually runs into people who think that Maine is in Canada. * This troper knew a girl who, on an APUSH quiz, failed because the only one of the thirteen colonies she labeled correctly was the one she lived in. * [[Tropers/HopelessRomance This Troper]] heard someone doing this the other day. We were coming back from a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream and some kid yelled out "Did we just pass the Empire State Building?" We were leaving Saint Paul, ''Minnesota''. * This Troper's teacher once confused that Africa was a country. Note that this was the geography teacher. * [[@/JusticeReaper This troper]] failed 9th-grade Geography. He lives in Jamaica, so that class was mainly about Jamaica's geographical structure, as well as the different types of rock plates in the Earth's crust and whatnot. His final grade for that course was 45%, but it wasn't his LOWEST grade in 9th grade (that went to Woodwork, for which he got a measly [[NeverLiveItDown 5%]]...) It was also the only time in his high school years that he ever took Geography; usually it was a choice between Geography and Spanish (neither of which are subjects he likes or has ever been particularly good in). * This Tropette had always thougth that Germany was in Russia, then she looked at a map. She still dosn't know where she got the idea from. * Let's just say that you'll be amazed by the number of people [[Troper/Yowuza this troper]] has known that think Africa is a country. * This Troper has just seen a page on [[TVTropes this very wiki]] link Switzerland to [[NorseByNorsewest Norse by Norsewest]]. It's a bit more like [[YodelLand Yodel Land]], the lack of vikings is a great clue. * God bless her, but my mother is horrible at geography. She got Sweden and Switzerland confused (which granted, they do sound similar), admitted she thought Africa was one country and all the countries on the map were states, and somehow thinks Denmark is interchangeable with the Netherlands. * A boy in my middle school class asked "Isn't China and Japan the same thing?" * This troper used to think that Jamaica is where Cuba is on the map. Not anymore. * I once had a boy in my history class that believed England was the 50th state. When asked to find England on a map, he had no idea where it could be. * My best friend once pointed to Greenland on the map and said "It´s Canada!". * One of this troper's classmates had recently been discovered as having terrible geography skills. While quizzing her on various continents' geography for a laugh, another friend found out she thought Belgium was ''a city in Seattle''. ** That is just.... words fail me. It's [[WrongOnSoManyLevels Wrong On

So Many Levels]] taken [[UpToEleven up to 11]]..... * [[http://mediamatters.org/blog/201103140036 This]]. [[{{Tropers/Nakayama90}} This troper]] quoted the page title, [[YouFailGeographyForever you fail geography forever]], to the family. Had 'em laughing. * This troper once said that Spain wasn't near the Mediterranean. * This troper, who lives in a town near the Lake District in the [[OopNorth north of England]], was once asked by a British tourist who had just got off the coach from London how far he was from Snowdon (Wales's largest mountain), which is over 100 miles away. * This troper used to think Turkey was near Alaska, that London was in the US, and that Singapore was farther north than the Philippines. She also thought, for a long time, that North Korea wasn't connected to China. * This troper, until very recently, thought Kazakhstan was a tiny, ''fictional'' country. Turns out it's the ninth-largest country in the world. Huh. * This troper used to think that the UK was a bunch of islands near ''Antarctica''. True that the UK ''does'' own a lot of islands near that place, but hell was she embarrassed when she realized she never regarded the ''mainland'' as the UK, but its ''territories'' of all things. * This troper's relative once drew France and Spain on a piece of paper and ''separated'' the two countries with a body of water. Completely. * This troper used to think that the Koreas, while still connected to each other, was an island south of Japan. * This troper is very interested in geography and started teaching her maid about it. She printed a blank world map and pinned it to a corkboard. She then gave her maid a pin and told her to pin it on whatever country this troper says. Well, this troper then learned that her maid was ''absolutely terrible'' at geography, and while she doesn't blame her maid for her poor educational background, it was rather sad to see her pin Sudan when asked for South Africa, Peru when asked for China, Greenland when asked for Argentina, and so on. This troper then pointed to Canada and asked her what country it was. Her maid said it was either France or Sweden. This teaching stuff is gonna take a hell ''long'' time. * This troper drew the map of Europe from memory a few times. It always came out horribly deformed. * This troper used to think Taiwan was the smallest country in the world. * This troper lives in Detroit, and had friends from England visiting. While they were here, they expressed an incredible interest in taking a few hours out of a day of their visit, and driving down South to Texas, so they could see the Alamo. * Once during a class of this troper there was a guessing game. A classmate asked to another "Is he English?" Reply? "English from England?" [[ItGotWorse And trying to justify himself]]: "He could be from the US!" ** That could have been a mix-up of English (nationality) and English (language)

* This troper has always been bothered by Sunset Beach, North Carolina. Where does a Southeast-facing beach get off calling itself ''Sunset'' Beach? * A Girl In This Troper's Class Thought that Massachusetts Was in New York, That Nevada Was In California, and That OHIO was In HAWAII. His Teachers Were Forced To Bring Up A Map Of The US. IN MATH CLASS!!!!!!!!!!!!! It Led To Him [[FacePalm Facepalming]] So Hard That A *POP* sound effect was heard. In The 8th Grade! * When he was ten, this troper was pointing to the left was Memphis and to the right was Minneapolis. Never mind he was pointing left was actually North and pointing right was south.

YouFailLogicForever * The fact that I had to create this page on 10/1/10 is a logic fail within itself. ** Wouldn't it be logical that people tend to forget their or other's logic fail? Or would it be that [[YouFailLogicForever I Fail Logic Forever]]? * I once wrote a story when I was younger that had the protagonists (who lived in Tampa) drive to the Charleston Airport (which is in South Carolina) to fly to San Diego. I ''know''. * I was on this forum and because I mentioned this game I was apparently a monster troll who was using yet another sock account. [[RhymesOnADime Apparently because their name was the same as the game I brought up this person and me were one and the same.]] * This troper once had a math problem that had you prove that, if f is a function such that for any open set U, S={x:f(x) belonging to U} is also an open set, then f is continuous. This troper made up some bullshit explanation about all the points being interiour points, thus you can draw balls around them, thus for every epsilon, there's a delta, etc. etc., therefore f is continuous. Her teacher actually wrote next to her "solution", "...you fail logic forever." * This student was once in a Property Law class where the professor was talking about his pet peeve, the mechanic's liens. Essentially (in Rhode Island), if a contractor doesn't pay the mechanic/carpenter/whatever, the mechanic can sell the thing he worked on to get his pay, even if its some dude's house. This usually leads to a mechanic getting a settlement from a guy who had alreadly paid the contractor. A student raised her hand in support of the law, and said, "Well, my dad works as a carpenter..." The professor, an extrial lawyer, without missing a beat, smiled and said, [[AdHominem "Oh, my dad was a plumber, so of course he loved that law, it meant he always got paid!"]] The student, not knowing what to say, nodded, and the professor went on to the next subject. [[MagnificentBastard Well played, sir.]] * This troper will inevitably mention [[AnsemRetort werepires]] whenever wolves and bats are in the same place. * This troper have seen people claiming Disney rips off, get this, the fairy tales many of their movies are based on, and, more recently, the book ''NotreDameDeParis'' and ''TreasureIsland''. Ignoring the [[CriticalResearchFailure Critical Research Fail]] of not realizing

these are Public Domain works, ''why aren't the other numerous adaptations considered ripoffs!?''[[hottip:*: This is particularly annoying in the HunchbackOfNotreDame example, because that person [[TooDumbToLive brings up the French musical in the same vein]].]] Can we ''please'' keep the "Disney rips off X" claims to legit examples? [[YouKeepUsingThatWord Or use the term "rip-off" properly?]] * When someone was pulling my hair repeatedly to piss me off, even after everyone said it stopped being funny about an hour ago, I said "You better stop or I'll pull yours so hard you'll look like the dude from YuGiOh." He responded with "You still watch YuGiOh?!" Which I instantly backfired with "I used to watch it, I just remember what he looks like." He asked me again if I still watch it. He obviously has some bad case of amnesia if he forgets what something is once he grows out of it. * This troper's mother is prone to this. I have to fight the urge to sigh when I have to point out where her logic fails. * On this very wiki, someone said that there is no such thing as an intelligent ''KingdomHearts'' fan and that because we weren't dumb, we were not ''KingdomHearts'' fans. This is called HateDumb, too.

YouFailSexEdForever [[redirect:TroperTales/HollywoodSex]]

YouFailYourMedicalBoardsForever * Nutrition, nutrition, nutrition. Why exactly should you lose weight by simply increasing your carbohydrate (and therefore caloric) consumption? (If you decrease your fat consumption by the same number of grams, it's possible, but simply decreasing calories is a much simpler option.) And anyone who grew up in the 80s knows about the health benefits of margarine, even though ''trans'' fat was shown to be even more unhealthy than saturated fat in the 1970s. Naturally, essential fatty acids were never mentioned in the anti-fat fervor.

YouGetMeCoffee * ''So'' TruthInTelevision. [[{{Jefepato}} This troper]] has been there. It's not that anyone's mistreating him (much), it's just that menial tasks like this need to be done by whoever bills the lowest rate, so the client isn't getting screwed. ** Ditto this troper. For bosses who are nice, I take it upon myself to get coffee for them in the morning. *** Heck, making the coffee was practically a part of [[{{Scarab}} This Troper]]'s ''job description'' when she was working as an animation Runner. * When this troper was working at Dairy Queen, regardless of what he was actually supposed to be doing that shift, if there was an unpleasant job to be done it was invariable delegated to me. It got to the point where I actually started to believe my own joke that because they didn't have any Mexicans working there illegally they had to find someone to occupy the position and chose me.

* When this troper's father was a reporter he went to the offices of a local senator and was told about a young judge's son who was, to put it mildly, a bit of an idiot. They couldn't very well get rid of him, so they sent him to fetch the "special cigars" for the senator... at a store two towns over. The irony was that there was a cigar store right around the block, which they knew quite well but ignored to get the kid out of the way for a bit. * [[{{Reconstruction}} Reconstructed]], more than once, and as either the boss or the employee, with this troper. It's shocking how critical to the mission you can become by getting good coffee. And it's equally shocking how, when you're in charge, the supposedly trivial job is the one that's the most important to get right. * When I worked as banquet setup for a Holiday Inn (Carrying tables, moving furniture, rearranging stages, etc) I was walking across the hotel, and someone popped out of a conference room and barked "You! Coffee! Now!" and popped back in. Now, this was no part of my job, but if he'd asked me nicely, I'd have been happy to do it. As it was, I made Coffee of Doom... filled the filter to the top, ran two pots of water through it, and got about a quarter of a pot. Ran THAT through again, then replaced the coffee (wanted it to be fresh, after all...) and did it again. Ended up with a pot of coffee that actually absorbed light and ate plastic spoons. Put it on a cart with cups, sugar and so on, knocked on the door and ran for my life. Spent the rest of the day wondering if I'd see people flying around in CaffeineBulletTime or something... * Stage crew, dress rehearsal night. ---> '''Stage manager''': We need to find ''something'' for the freshman to do! ---> '''Tech director''': Can she go make me a sandwich? ** Justified, though, since said freshman had showed up ''that night'' and demanded to be on crew, and had only been allowed on because she shamelessly sucked up to the other stage manager, and these two couldn't say no. * [[{{Tropers/AFP}} This Troper]] recalls a sci-fi convention he was working in college, where one of their guests was Peter Mayhew (you know, [[StarWars Chewbacca]]). One of the Troper's female friends happened to be a huge Star Wars fan, and found herself trolling around an area where Mr. Mayhew was going to be doing a meet-and-greet later that morning. She casually asks me if I know when Peter Mayhew would be arriving, and I point over her shoulder and say "He's [[RightBehindMe sitting right behind you.]]" [[hottip:*: Because, you know, most of the time, he isn't actually dressed like a Wookie and just looks like a tall gangly British guy]]. At this point, she ''geeks right the hell out'', but makes a heroic effort to restrain herself... until Mr. Mayhew's wife came up mentioning that the both of them could use some coffee. --> ''[[MotorMouth Peter Mayhew wants coffee I can gethimcoffeeIMAKEGREATCOFFEE!]]'' ** So yeah, she didn't get to get him any coffee because we were afraid that she might explode. I guess that's an InvertedTrope? ** Also, This Troper is in the Air Force, and one of the things we do is get reviewed every year or so to see what exactly we do to help the

Air Force. In addition to getting marks for how well we do our job, maintain physical fitness and uniform standards, and things like that, we also have to produce other stuff we do outside our job description to show that we are pulling our weight. A good supervisor encourages his airman to come up with ''anything'' that he has done that might have helped someone somewhere, so they could justify it benefiting the Air Force. Twice this troper has tried to get "Makes coffee, helping to maintain unit morale and alertness, thus aiding our ability to be mission-ready at all times" included on his reviews, to no avail. * This troper tends to play up the bossy, MagnificentBitch {{Ojou}} image she has somehow aquired, and as a result tends to do this to people a lot. She prefers [[SpotOfTea tea]] over coffee, though ---You, get me coffee! And you, get me [[YouGetMeCoffee the trope!]] <<|TroperTales|>>

YouGottaHaveBlueHair * This troper used to have honey-colored hair with abmer-ish higlights and chocolate lowlights. All completely natural. Then, with age, it turned to a solid dark dark brown, but progressively more amber at the bottom because of growing out and years of sun lightening. At the moment, purple underlayer and white and black streaks. * [[@/SpiriTsunami This troper]] knows someone who, as a kid, apparently decided that they were an anime character, and so has had his hair dyed green ever since he was about two or three years old. We really can't picture him with a normal hair color. Kudos to the parents for allowing this bit of creative expression. ** This troper wants to dye her hair purple like Leela from Futurama. Doesn't help that most of the female characters I like in anime (Misato Katsuragi included) have purple-coloured hair at some point... This baffled my mother so. * My mother used a hair dye that was supposed to be some sort of shade of black, but it turned out blue. She ''never'' shut up about it. * This troper has had every hair color listed on your average HTML instruction site. * This troper has red hair,brown eye brows,and uh,blonde "[[IfyouknowwhatImean down there]]". * This troper can recall reading once that a certain combination of cat genes can give rise to blue cats. ** This other troper knows there's a breed of dog with natural blue hair. * this troper dyed his bangs blue because its his favorite colour, and because of lady gaga and also because of his recent obsession with manga. * This troper has an unusual quirk in his genetics that he shares with only two other people in his family; all three of us are redheads with white eyebrows, with a high probability of our hair naturally bleaching stark white by the time we're 30 (one of the two relatives with this condition actually had it happen to him before he died).

Personally, he prefers to have it happen, as he absolutely ''hates'' his red hair. ** Why do you hate your hair? You should be proud to be a redhead! (and this is from a brunette who'd kill for that color). * This troper's hair color has naturally changed color through the entire spectrum in his life, going from black to red to blonde to it's current brown. People who see pictures of me when I was younger swear they never would have thought it was me because the hair color was different. ** This troper's family seems to carry that same gene. My hair was strawberry blonde when I was a baby (but my parents kept calling it just 'red', which confused me) and regular blonde throughout my childhood, but then when I started dyeing my hair in middle school the natural color snapped back to strawberry blonde. More straightforwardly, my sister was blonde when she was little, but over about ten years (she's fifteen at time of writing) it sloooooowly turned medium-brown. *** This troper's hair used to be light blonde (and for a while also curly), but seems to be turning darker now. * While they're not natural ones, this troper has a couple of interesting examples: One of his high school friends would change his hair color every few weeks ''and'' consistently wear outfits that matched (i.e. he'd dye his hair blue and wear clothes in the same shade of blue). And during a church youth group summer trip one of his friends bleached his hair and it came out seaweed green colored (shortly afterward, due to a dare, he also was sporting half a mohawk. And this isn't hair-related, but he was also walking around wearing one shoe and one boot, due to his other boot falling apart). One of the girls in the group asked "Why did you dye your hair green?", to which he answered "I didn't". Technically, it ''was'' true. * One of this troper's best friends once dyed his hair blue. Neon blue. Cotton-candy blue. And at the moment? It's flamingo-pink. Yeah, that friend is awesome. * So this troper dyed her hair a vibrant blue last winter. She was ''astounded'' by the reactions of her (largely Catholic, very conservative) family and (not so Catholic or conservative, but still very iffy about dramatic hair color changes) friends, who kept commenting with apparent amazement that she "looked so ''natural'' with blue hair!" (Once she's off probation at the new job... she's going back to it.) Edit as of 1/17/2010 - she's keeping it blue no matter what, now. Lost the "new job", and to hell with taking it back! * [[@/{{Ekul}} This troper's]] mother had hair that turned purple in the sunlight. However, it's no longer visible since she highlighted it. * This troper had a friend who let her hair grow all the way down to her ''calves'' and then dyed it a bright blue colour. The reason she gave for this? She wanted to cosplay [[LuckyStar Konata]]. * This troper dyed the tips of her hair blue for basketball playoffs. She ended up getting several compliments that her hair matched her eyes. * [[@/{{Spudsey}} I]] once dyed my hair bright blue. It only lasted for a few weeks, as it was something I wanted to try while I could

still get away with it. * This troper wanted dark hair when she was in 7th grade, so her mother bought her "brown hair dye." It turned out to be grey-hair cover up. It turned her hair silver. * My girlfriend tried to get me to dye my hair blue, then wanted to know if my sister would dye her hair tomato red. * This troper will dye her hair bright pink with black and white streaks through it the moment she gets the chance and the money. Or maybe black with pink and white streaks. She hasn't quite decided. Either way it will be awesome. In a more straight version of the trope, a friend of hers has had every color under the sun (including some colors that could only be seen under direct sunlight), though it's at it's natural medium-brown right now. Also a friend of hers dyes her hair red. Her natural color is light brown and she doesn't bleach it, so it makes a really cool vibrant, yet dark, auburn color. * This troper recalls a certain cricketeer who sported Federation Blue hair during a test match. * This troper has now met a middle aged woman with long curly black hair with a tinge of purple on one side and a tinge of blue on the other, plus some natural gray in the middle. The purple and blue were subtle enough that at first he thought it was a trick of the light. * This troper would love to have an interesting hair colour, but they always turn out more boring than what the package promises. She tried violet once and even bleached her hair beforehand to get the colour right. In the end, the hair was mostly red, with a violet tint in some lightnings. Going to a hairdresser to colour the hair might work, but it's very expensive now that she has quite long hair. * This Troper's [[{{Nakama}} big sister]] dyes her hair all sorts of colors all the time. So much so I never really knew what her true hair color was. And once at a con some dude apparently asked me what her real hair color was my response was "pink" as it was her favorite color to dye her hair. * This troper has been greying since he was fourteen, and eventually decided to dye back to his original colour (black), only to find the dye was blue-black - now he looks like his hair is gradually going bright blue. And it is ''awesome''. * This Troper is a subversion, because her hair is black/neon green, but she hasn't colored it...I have hair extensions. To name more examples, I have also had fire-red and purple hair. * This Troper has had many hair colours, she was born blonde, gradually got darker to brown, went for a few crazy hair colours, mostly multicoloured, and now am back to brown, although my friend swears theres a bit of red in there. I cant remember what my friends natural hair colours are, one has has every colour of the rainbow, currently it is red with a blonde fringe. the other is mostly blonde with added pink or purple. * In high school, this troper was cast in a terrible play. She vowed that as soon as it was over, she was going to dye her hair blue. No one believed her- until she did it, launching a hair dye addiction that has lasted five years and counting. Since then it's been red, magenta, purple, pink, and briefly dark green, as well as various different natural colors. She can't dye it crazy colors anymore

because of theatre, so she has clip-in extensions instead. * [[@/MightyJAK This Troper's]] grandfather had pepper-gray hair as an old man, but [[WhiteHairedPrettyBoy pure white (not light blond) hair as a boy]]. This was slightly passed down to this troper; although he has mostly brown hair (with the exact shade varying from one follicle to another), there are white hairs randomly interspersed throughout his head. People taking notice of this often assume he's going gray from stress or old age, but he's had these white hairs since he was a baby. He also finds the occasional ''red'' hair on his head, no idea where those come from... ** This trope has had a few gray hairs from 16. Now that she's 30, she's gotten several more. In one place, there is quite a bit of gray hair in a streak, but it's on the under side. It gives the appearance on the upper-side that she has a random blond streak. * This Troper cannot WAIT for her hair to finish turning grey early in life (as evinced by family patterns) so she can FINALLY dye her naturally dark hair all manner of exciting colors without the use of bleach. * Literal interpretation averted, but general theme played straight with this troper's {{Yandere}} fuel, who looks somewhat like Rei Ayanami with bright red hair (coke can red, can we say {{Fetish fuel}}? * This troper had blue hair for about ten years, and only dyed it dark because it got too long to maintain without a lot of effort and even more money (when you need four to five jars to touch up your hair, it gets ''expensive'', and that's not including bleach for the roots). Plus doing my roots and refreshing all the color was about a four-hour process, so I eventually gave up. My current driver's license has it blue, though, and it's almost the same shade as the background. * This troper is friends with an emo-ish girl who dyes her hair once a month or every other month or so. The color ranges from raven feather black to a deep mahogany/auburn shade, but it almost always has a bit of a violet tint to it, of course, if it was dyed completely purple, it would be a dress code violation. * This troper went through a few normal colours before discovering that dark purple really just was her best colour. Offsets the blue eyes and Victorian pallor or something. * This troper was born with brown hair, and the red shade to it was almost invisible because it was so dark, but it got brighter, and whenever there's lots of sun, her hair becomes bright red. Not orange, but really red, almost like cherries but brighter. Seriously, this troper didn't even know this hair color existed until she moved to a very sunny country. she doesn't know who she got it from either, since her mother's hair is not THAT red, and she doesn't know her father at all. * I've had dark black-brown hair since it faded from white-blond when I was little... but I've always wanted to have dark green hair. As of my last birthday (April 23) I finally bit the bullet and had it bleached professionally, then have since had it pine-needle green, cartoon-Joker-green, duck-wing teal (which is what happens when you put indigo blue over faded joker-green, apparently) and am looking forward to having it ink-blue/black with turquoise and purple (a

reddish shade called 'dark tulip' on the package) chunks for my uncle coming over to the states this fornight. * This troper and his sister both have white hair. Strangely enough, our brother has natural black hair. With a brown-haired mom and a brown-haired dad. * This troper dyed her hair green for the Rocky Horror Show... I liked it so much, I just keep re-dying it green when the roots start showing. * This troper wanted very dark hair and went with a color of black that seemed like it would have a slightly purple look in certain light. When she walked out to her car in very bright sun light, her hair looked Barney purple! Hair places really should have a bright light so you can see the samples in dark and bright light. * This troper recently had his light brown hair streaked. What should have turned out as tomato red streaks ended up looking like a bright pink phoenix nested in my hair. It's awesome. * This troper once dyed her hair green. It said it was only supposed to last three weeks. Six months later, it finally returned to its natural color (seriously, I didn't even bleach it. What the crap?). She then dyed it blue. * This troper had tried green in the past. She now has a a bright shade of purple. Said troper also had fun dying her sister's hair flourescent red. * [[@/QueenSakon This Troper]] has dyed her hair Rassberry pink at least twice. Once as a reward for doing well in school, and the other time for a concert. Second time was Rassberry with Hot Pink streaks. * This troper's hair has been various shades of blue, green, pink, purple, orange, red, brown, and blonde. She quit dying her hair strange colors for three years but the hair dye addiction has resurfaced. In the past two months, it's been blonde (her natural color), firetruck red, wine red, dark brown, and now sort of auburn (the last three colors were attempts to dye over and calm down the firetruck red accident). She plans to dye it light blonde at her next opportunity to do so and wants to dye ''that'' slightly pink sometime. * This tropers friend has natural white-blond hair, and once died his hair half-orange for Halloween. He told people he got hit in the head with a pumpkin . . . [[TooDumbToLive and they believed it.]] * I originally had purple streaks, then blue streaks. Then I bleached and died the entire bottom layer blue, then I recently switched back to purple. I'm thinking I'll go back to blue again once this fades out, since I like both colors equally. * This Troper actually used a Save File Editor in order to give his female [[MassEffect Commander Shepard]] blue hair. He felt no shame. * {{Tropers/megamagikarp}} - My hair is, for the most part, a perfectly normal dirty blond. But, in my bangs, there is a pair of hard-to-notice streaks which are almost silver. * This Troper's OCs make up a whole rainbow and then some with their hair colors. Yuki-Rin, Sebastian, Mina, and Lulu all have varying shades of brown hair, Kazuma, Georgia, Ageha, Wolfgang, Dewey, Nadia, Karin (who has more of an orangish-blondish hair color), and Soren are blonde, Aria and Tajio are red-heads, and Hana, Chen, Aki, and Heathcliffe have black hair. Wait, it gets better. Hatori, Mikuri,

Gareth (his hair color is more of a bluish-purplish), and Akari have blue hair, Phil, Lance, and Kaoru both have silver hair (Kaoru's is more of an off-white-ish), Showtarou, Iku, and Kartik have purple hair, Daisuke, Rika, and Thierry have green hair, Sayuki has orange hair, Yulia and Mikoto have pink hair (Mikoto's is more of a dark pinkish-reddish while Yulia's is more of a peach color), and Holden has black hair with blue streaks in it. Yes, their hair colors are natural. As for This Troper, she is considering either dying parts of her dark-brown hair red or green or to get clip-in extensions. * One of This Troper's friends has what seems to be dark red hair. * I have ordinary brown hair. However, when polarised sunlight (the kind you get in the morning and evening) hits it, it goes bright orangey glowing gold. My dad says he used to have hair like mine before it went black. My mum used to be blonde before it went like mine. Odd. * This troper (MAI742) is of mixed race. Anglo-Chinese. When I was young - 6 or maybe 7, when she swore that never would she leave me (but here I am in prison, here I am with a ball and chain yeah?)... 'ahem', anyway, when I was that age my hair was a medium-dark brown. Now, it looks black unless in strong sunlight. Which, now I live in Scotland and not Australia, I barely ever see. So yeah, even though I've never been paler from not seeing sunlight, My hair has never looked darker. So yeah, I look Spanish. Doesn't your life feel enriched for these irrelevant facts? Lollercaust. * [[This Troper{{Xkun01}}]] Started off having blueish-black hair.Nowadays it's more of a dark blue.Fortunately not too many people can see it thanks to my [[NiceHat hat]]. * I dyed my hair bright blue at the start of my sophomore year in college. I absolutely love it, and I feel like it's the hair color I was meant to have. To my surprise, only one or two people have mocked it since then, even off-campus. I'm pretty excited about that, because I'm hoping that unusual hair colors will become mainstream soon so that it won't be as hard for me to find a job that allows them. * One of my friends has a small obsession with dying her hair. Its naturally brown, but in recent years, its has been brown with blonde bits, bright pink, red, black, black with pink streaks, and it is currently half black half blonde (She is trying to make the blonde half all white, ala Cruella DeVille.) ** Another of my friends dyed her hair bright red for an MCR gig. It was meant to wash out. It didn't. ** My hair is currently a mix of purple, red and my natural brown (my roots need doing). Its been purple, red and a black-blue before. ** ANOTHER one of my friends tried to dye her blonde hair straight to black. It went red and green, and looked so cool. * [[Tropers/AdelePotter This Tropette]] is currently waiting for her blue hair dye to set. ---You Gotta return to Main/YouGottaHaveBlueHair ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe * [[Tropers.ReikoKazama Reiko-chan]] tends to do this when gaming. Namely, when playing [[CrashBandicoot Crash Team Racing]] and the track is [[ThatOneLevel Hot Air Skyway]]. I will also drop the F-bomb [[ClusterFBomb quite a few times]], understandably. * This troper does this very often, especially when gaming. * {{Jedielf}} had this reaction when she saw [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5a1uBXtqC8&feature=player_embedded this]]. * This editor does this all the time when he is [[UnreliableNarrator online]], but also in real life... especially when someone [[BadassBoast talks]] about [[BeyondTheImpossible how awesome]] their [[AnythingThatMoves romantic success]] is. * Five of us taking the [[NewYorkSubway Manhattan-bound R-Train from Queens]] to get to Koreatown. The past few stops the conductor was getting pissed at all the people holding the doors open and delaying the train. We get to our stop (Herald Square), the conductor closes the door after only two of us (and some other people) get out and takes off with the other three of us and a bunch of other people who wanted to get off. Cue trope, with a PrecisionFStrike thrown in for good measure. * This Troper tends to do this a lot while playing [[Pokemon]]. Namely? Against [[ThatOneBoss Cynthia.]] Followed by [[ClusterFBomb lots of swearing]]. [[HilarityEnsues Even better when my ''dad'' ends up hearing me]] [[ClusterFBomb dropping F-Bombs like a Sailor.]] * Just before a theatre production in our art school was about to start, I ran backstage to grab something, and stepped in a sticky rat trap. The teacher had to help me pry the thing from my shoe as we were watching the show in the back row. My reaction to the incident was pretty much this. ** An incident that happened to the same troper in the same school. I got into the lift to go downstairs. I pressed the button, and the lift didn't move. I pressed the "open" button; nothing. Then, all the lights in the lift went out, except for the LCD display showing the floor number. I waited a minute, then pressed the emergency button. Nothing. I called my Mum who was on her way to fetch me home from school. Nothing. Then, the door opens, the lights come on and the two people outside were not security guards or school staff, but rather other students who had no idea that the lift was stuck. The lift then works, and takes us all down. You have GOT to be kidding me. * This tropette says this alot. Mostly due to her faithlessness in her fellow humans. It takes alot for me to trust you and even then.... * There was a student art show at my college the other day. Among the exhibits was [[http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-aksnc6/183420_10150202474799745_740259744_8840667_1055566_n.jpg this little gem]]. [[ItGotWorse What's worse]] was that the schmuck who [[SarcasmMode created]] this [[SarcasmMode work of art]] wanted ''[[RefugeInAudacity 100 bucks]]'' for it! If I was the only one who let out a FlatWhat upon seeing this, I'll be genuinely shocked. * This troper once said this to a customer who'd asked where her accent was from. When she said the Appalachians, the women then gasped

and said, 'But you're wearing SHOES!' * I say it so often that it has become my [[CatchPhrase catchphrase]]. ---You want me to go back to You Have GOT To Be Kidding Me? [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe You have got to be kidding me!]] ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YouHaveToBurnTheRope * [[{{OODavo}} This troper's]] sister started playing You Have To Burn The Rope. She made it through the tunnel with only a minimum of difficulty, but, upon meeting the [[spoiler:Grinning Colossus]], she found things a little too difficult. Said troper suggested that she might try [[spoiler:grabbing that fire off the wall.]] She jumped up above him, [[spoiler:burned the rope]] and saved us all. Finally. And then she pressed refresh and started again. ''Three times.'' * I couldnt get past this one part in You Have To Burn The Rope. Its the part where you have to defeat that bad guy but my axes dont work. I can get the fire and i can get the rope but i dont know how to beat it. Hmm, how to complete ''You Have To Burn The Rope''... * This troper managed to complete a successful speed run, managing to go from the beginning of the starting tunnel to the defeat of the final boss in ''6 seconds flat.'' * [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome This Troper burned the rope]], enough said. * This game is way too full of {{Guide Dang It}}s to be enjoyable. How on earth are you supposed to figure out on your own that the way to beat the final boss is to [[spoiler:burn the rope]]? ** I know! It makes Metroid seem easy to complete without a guide. * Tropers/{{Excel-2010}}. One time I tried to beat the game [[SequenceBreaking without burning the rope.]] It didn't end well. [[TheDevTeamThinksOfEverything The coders sure covered their bases.]] * Focus on beating IWBTG. Then make such a game that makes a ShoutOut to this one. * I, snowflake247, had lag or something, so I had to keep trying the platforms. [[{{Understatement}} It was a bit frustrating.]] [[spoiler: The Grinning Colossus finally had a nice chandelier hat , though.]]

YouHaveToBurnTheWeb * This troper didn't know that webs burned in D+D 3.5, so he used ''Presdigitation'' to carefully spread a pint of lamp oil all over the web before dropping the torch. ''Whoosh''. * Real life example, a close family friend almost burnt our home down one night after using an aerosol can and a lighter to kill a spider. Needless to say, we still tease the idiot with spider jokes whenever possible. Remember that trailer for the Twilight Princess Zelda game where Link is chased by Gohma? Yea, that allowed me to set him up for a spectacular zinger. ----

Go back to YouHaveToBurnTheWeb. ----

YouJustRuinedTheShot * This troper was in a production of WestSideStory while in high school. At one point, we were rehearsing the knife fight scene in the school gym. Everything was going as planned until Riff prepared to lunge forward and then got tackled to the ground by a random bystander. The guy was walking by the school, saw the flash of knives, and decided to intervene. Poor guy was terribly embarrassed, but you have to admire his courage in being willing to jump in... ** This almost happened during a school production of Les Miserables. When one of the characters was about to get shot, a random kid tried to run up and take the gun... * This troper's campus police got called to the library once when two students were using a study room to (loudly) practice a scene where one threatens the other with a gun. * [[TheTallOne This Troper's]] character fainted in a crowd scene once during a play. Apparently, no one told the stage manager, who thought I'd really fainted, and had to be held back so she didn't run onstage to help me. * This troper was with her class rehearsing a carol concert when she fainted. It wrecked the flow of the rehearsal and got me into trouble with my headmaster, who thought I was faking it. * This troper had this happen to him once, though it was less "actor gets beaten up by superhero" and more "filming stops for ten minutes while we explain to the cops what's going on." * This troper, while filming a student film, went on break and hadn't noticed the rest of his crew continuing filming without him, and was caught in multiple shots pacing around in the background. We decided to keep it in for the hell of it. ---Return and describe how you just YouJustRuinedTheShot... <<|TroperTales|>>

YouJustToldMe * @/{{Thenakedcat}} once worked in the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) office of a major military installation and had to know the regulations regarding release of classified information. Classification can either be applied only to the CONTENT of documents relating to a certain event or issue--in which case the fact of the document's existence and possibly certain metadata regarding it like title, length, location, etc, might not be exempt from release under the FOIA--or to the POSSIBLE EXISTENCE AND CONTENT of documents relating to an event or issue, in which case the FOIA officer cannot even tell the requester whether documents were found that related to their inquiry. This is specifically intended to prevent FOIA from being used to produce SuspiciouslySpecificDenial and/or YouJustToldMe responses. [[http://www.armyg1.army.mil/foia/docs/ar25_55.pdf If

anyone cares to see for themselves...]] ---Go back to YouJustToldMe.

YouKeepUsingThatWord * This Troper's roommate like to play first-person shooters and used to announce his going in for "epic" kills by saying, "I'm going in for the money shot." "Right. Either you need to stop saying that or you need to stop ''doing'' that." ** The term does predate pornographic cinema if it makes you feel any better. ** Here's a thought: he's being metaphorical. * This troper's English class apparently learned nothing from their unit on humor. Just because it is funny, does not mean it is ironic. * What annoys Tropers/HappyDuck the most? Mixing up "disinterested" and "uninterested". THEY ARE NOT SYNONYMS!! * Uh huh, I get the problem with irony all the time (sometimes from young'uns trying to annoy me, though). Also, a friend using the word "chronic" to describe something intense. ** That's the opposite of what chronic means. -facepalm** ..."intense" is the opposite of "[[http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/chronic continuing a long time or recurring frequently]]"? *** In practice, yes, typically. * An inverse example: in my high school, everyone used "ignorant" as a synonym for "rude." This isn't incorrect, but when I attempted to make use of its other meaning - "uninformed" - people looked at me like I was insane. Bonus points for everyone assuming, when I tried to explain, that "uninformed" meant the exact same thing as "stupid." ** Seconded. In my high school "ignorant" is used to mean "racist." So, when young oblivious I confessed to being ignorant on Spanish history... ** This troper feels both your pains immensely. Luckily the whole "ignorant = racist" thing went out of style, but what bugs me even more is how "ignorant = stupid." I know they're easy to confuse, but come on people. ** I've heard "ignorant" used by ideologues towards anyone who even so much as implies that the ideology they espouse might be flawed. I find this amusing because in order to point out flaws, you clearly have to comprehend the ideology in question first. ** Ignorant = Not knowing. Stupid = Not having an ability to learn/Poor ability to learn. Anyway, that must've been pretty annoying. * This troper goes to extreme (unsuccessful) lengths to get his old high school friends (and current university friends) to distinguish sardonic and sarcastic. * This troper's friend, after watching a few episodes of The Nostalgia Critic, consistently believe Nostalgia to define that style of comedic review, despite being told otherwise, multiple times. The last time he was corrected, this troper even did an Inigo Montoya impression, although it flew over his head.

** Same with my brother. * Two of this troper's college classmates, my future colleagues, keep using the word dissonance, as in cognitive dissonance, when talking about any kind of mistake or misunderstanding, no matter the context. At first I figured they were just happy to learn a new word and that they were just milking it as much as they can but after almost a year of that bullshit it's just fucking annoying. They even use it for typos! Look, one of them says with delight, I've found a dissonance right here! It's Psychosis not Sychosis! So Dissonant! Answers his douchebag friend. * This troper was once one of three temps working in a warehouse. The other temps were one guy who was 19 years old but really had his head together, the other was a 23 year old, obese, stupid-shirt-wearing punk with a motor mouth. One day he started going on about his need to pass gas, except he used the word "queef." "Man, I gotta QUEEF!" "Oh man, I just queefed a good one..." Finally, I exploded -- first with a "DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A 'QUEEF' IS?" then with an Inigo Montoya impression. The 19 year old caught it, the motormouth didn't. ** And for those who ''don't'' know what the word "queef" means, it's a slang term for vaginal flatulence. In other words, a pussy fart. Meaning guys can't do it. *** He can! :) * Thinking "yea" is shorthand for "yeah". While somewhat antiquated, "yea" is still a word, pronounced "yay". The confusion usually isn't a problem, until someone says "yea or nay" and the reply is "I usually say yay or nay" * This Troper and a group of tourist she was guiding. An American guy was talking about the differences between Americans and Latinos. Then the Spanish and French tourist started rolling their eyes at the generalization because they thought "Latinos" mean "cultures from speaking a romance language" and it includes France, Spain, Italy and Romania. While one of the indigenous guides looked puzzled he didn't known spanish very well and faill to see the difference between "American" and "Latinos" in this part of my country US citizen are called only "estadounidense" or "gringos". * I know this one's REALLY common, but I'll just bring up that when I was in middle school, the majority of guys in my class used the word "gay" as a synonym for "stupid" so much, that I honestly think they've forgotten its real meaning. ** This troper has met an unfortunate amount of people who will ''defend'' their use of "gay" in this manner when called on it, using the excuse that "it's just casual, and anyway, gay also means happy". Indeed. [[SarcasmMode And "negro" also refers to the colour black, and surely wouldn't offend anyone if I casually used it as a synonym for, say, "douchebag".]] ** This troper has met a person who takes this a step further. When they are criticising something, they will say that it's intended for gay people. ** Amen for "That's retarded!" I admit, it can also mean "slowed-down" or "backwards," but those meanings are so archaic that I ''can't'' see them meaning it as anything but a potshot at humans who actually are. * One thing that gets [[Tropers/DonaldthePotholer my]] dander is when

someone says "All X are not Y" when they actually mean "Not all X are Y". [[YouFailLogicForever It's Boolean Standard, people!]] The former statement [[DontExplainTheJoke means]] that there is ''no'' intersection between groups X and Y, while the latter merely means that X is not solely a subset of Y. I mean, sure we have some streetsavvy people and/or persons past middle age here, but if they try to justify their presence by saying "All Tropers are not Nerds/Teens/College Students", then they are saying [[MostTropersAreYoungNerds This Trope]] [[{{Portal}} is a lie]]. ** Know what's worse? [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_that_is_gold_does_not_glitter Tolkien did it, too.]] ** This is an example of the inadequacy of a natural language to describe logical concepts. "All X is not Y" can translate to either "For all X, X is not Y" OR "There exists at least one X such that X is not Y". * This troper always says this to her younger brother when he uses the word silly. He often uses it to describe something awesome or funny (funny meaning... well, not funny in a silly way) and he's actually decreased his usage of it since this troper started saying "{{you keep using that word}}." * A lot of non-shooters, and some shooters, mis-use the term "jam" to refer to a weapon which fails to shoot. This is incorrect. I won't get too involved but a "jam" means that the weapon failed to either feed ammunition into the chamber, or it failed to extract a spent case from the chamber. When a weapon successfully feeds ammunition into the chamber, but the round does not go off, that is NOT a jam, that is a "misfire." Let me put it this way: a jam is when the weapon is faulty, and a misfire is when the ammunition is faulty. A weapon can work perfectly fine, free of any jams, but it can still fail to fire because of faulty ammunition. Moreover, these days most shooters don't use the term "jam" because it's imprecise; they use terms like "failure to feed" (FTF) or "failure to extract"(FTE). As for my Troper Tale, the reason I bring this up is because I saw a comedian taking part in a Civil War reenactment and after loading his rifle musket he pulled the trigger and nothing happened. He then said something like "it's a jam!" and ran off. But that type of weapon is incapable of loading its own ammunition into its chamber. Back then, that action had to be done by the operator. So for that weapon, a "jam" is impossible. Either his ammunition was bad or (much more likely) the comedian did something wrong. * This Troper works for a major mobile carrier. One thing that pisses me off is their insistence of using "$69.99" instead of "$70." Many of my customers seem to believe that they were declared a religion or have tax exempt status for whatever reason. Once, I was talking with a customer who was confused as to why their bill was over $69.99. I kept telling him that he had taxes applied to his bill. After a few mentions of these taxes, my customer straight up says, "Why do you keep saying that word?" "Which word?" "Taxes! They ain't on my bill!" * In my 12th grade government class, we played a game of [[http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/21627/dangerous-parallel Dangerous Parallel]]. It ended rather quickly when Outland chose to

surrender. During the next class, the teacher announced each nation's actions and how Outland had allowed itself to be taken under control by Inland. Outland protests: "When we said surrender, we didn't mean give up! We just wanted to stop fighting!" The misuse may have only happened that one time (unless all the Outland students were using it that way in their discussion), but it's a real doozy. * An obnoxious acquaintance of this troper uses the word "literally" in places where words like "really", "greatly", or "extremely" should be used. ** Under the original meaning of "really", it ''is'' synonymous with "literally", although it's modern useage is not. * A number of people I know refuse to use the word "snarky" properly. * [[{{Tropers/Highfeather}} This troper]] has used "like" in all of her life. Then again, there's always {{The One Guy}} group. * My boyfriend's mother uses the word [[{{Scandalgate}} "scandal"]] to refer to any time somebody is disagreeing with anything she says. She's [[{{FunnyForeigner}} Ukrainian]], though, so I don't even know how to begin to explain that she's misusing it in a way she would understand. * Subverted with this troper. His friend Mike always says "yaoi" whenever he passes me by. I'm just about ready to yell out "IF YOU SAY THAT WORD ONE MORE TIME SO HELP ME I WILL SUMMON A TENTACLE MONSTER!" ** How about a little backstory... please... * If I had a nickel for every time an ''[[AvatarTheLastAirbender Avatar]]'' fanfic writer used the word "topknot" when "ponytail" was the word they were looking for, I'd be able to pay back my student loans. That is all. * Last year some of the kids in my class thought metal retardation, autism and cerebal palsy were all the same thing. ** [[FridgeBrilliance Maybe they]] [[TakeAThirdOption had all three]]? * "Enormity" does not mean the same thing as "enormousness" * This troper gets the feeling that she '''[[DarthWiki/WallBanger still]]''' doesn't quite grasp the meaning of the word {{Fetish}}. [[OrIsIt Or I]] [[CovertPervert might]]. And then there was the realization that being "[[PerkyGoth the cheeriest]] {{emo}} [[PerkyGoth in town]]" essentially negates the whole purpose of being {{emo}}. ** This same troper would like to chide her past self via the spacetime continuum about the ''striking'' difference between "concert" and "concept," and still managing to use [[PrecisionFStrike a certain four-letter-expletive]] in ''[[TroublingUnchildhoodBehavior startlingly]]'' appropriate context [[InnocentSwearing at the age of four]]. * There are a bunch of kids at my high school who use the word theoretically far to often, and are never using it corectly, it's starting to become another one of my berserk buttons * This troper once was described by others and self-described as antisocial, as in one who avoids politely avoids social situations and ''crowds''. (Especially combined) Any conversation that involved the word anti-social became ''very'' [[HarsherInHindsight awkward in hindsight]] after this troper learned about other variations of the term.

* This troper once mentioned to five people that despite their continued swearing, he knew what the word '{{Yiff}}' meant and they didn't. One of them proceeded to use it as a personal insult to someone else (in the same context as 'idiot'). * This troper, having gone through all of elementary school in a private Christian school, went to public middle school quite fuzzy on many major points of sex. Consequently, in her seventh grade life science class, she assumed that "orgasm" was shorthand for "organism", and took all her tests using "orgasm" instead of "organism". For example: "Orgasms can be unicellular or multicellular." * [[{{@/Tidal_Wave_17}} This troper]] once called his mothat a "wench" because he thought it meant along the lines of "stupid". You should have seen the look on his face when he found out it pretty much mean the same thing as "bitch". * This Troper thought that Circumcision meant the removal of the Scrotum while the testicles stayed and ended up looking like a [[http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2010/04/500x_newtonscradle2.jpg Newton's Cradle]]. * @/FarseerLolotea has noticed that most accusations of "hypocrisy" have nothing to do with feigning virtues or standards that one does not actually hold. Or, for that matter, even the inability to practice what one preaches. * A former classmate once told me that one of ''his'' former classmates went around proudly declaring himself to be "primitive". When he told him what the word means, he didn't believe it. As for a more personal tale, a bunch of kids during my first class in elementary school used to march around wearing their backpacks backwards, calling themselves "amateurs". I don't think any of us knew what it meant. And later they thought "perverse" simply meant "mean". * To me, "apparently" means "according to another entity, that is not me, and it was not of my choice and/or I had little to no influence in it". ''Or something.'' Nobody has called me on it yet. I also, on the internets use the expression "*cough*", which is pretty hard to explain. It's like a fail/that's interesting/what an idiot type thing.

YouKnowImBlackRight [[redirect:{{TroperTales/ptitlekp1is9d2sabh}}]]

YouKnowWhatTheySayAboutX You know what they say about X, right? Well, tell us what people have said about you Xs here! * MutantRancor here. I had a friend borrow my [[NiceHat hat]] a while back, but it was too big for her. Cue this: -->'''Me:''' You know what they say about people with small heads, right? -->'''[[TheQuietOne Friend]]:''' What? -->'''Me:''' They're ''very smart.'' ** Well, it's true, they do say that. * This troper once corrected my boss on what precise shade a certain

color was. He said, "You know what they say about guys with a keen color sense?" I replied, "Chicks dig them?" He then stuttered out something about me being very secure in my masculinity . . . * This troper once used this trope to tease his sister, who had just bought a pair of aggressively red shoes. It went something like this : -->'''Me, insinuating/innuendo tone''' : You know what they say about girls with red shoes, right ? -->'''Her, icily''' : No. What do they say ? -->'''Me, candid''' : I have no idea, I thought you could tell me. ** Is it that they're ''very'' good at [[OnePiece using kick attacks]] on people who think red shoes mean [[BeAWhoreToGetYourMan something else]]? * "You know what they say about girls with big ribs..." "They have to buy large swimwear?" * A friend in this troper's university work group mentioned on him having large feet. I almost felt guilty for how completely and utterly straight I played it. * "You know what they say about men with big hands?" "They make very good pianists". There were also some off-colour comments about the propensity of people with small hands to grope tits, referencing an occasion when this troper (mostly asleep, and totally absent-mindedly) commented on the T-shirt being worn by a female friend, which had some ''ridiculously'' small "handprints". A number of other female friends have since been spotted wearing similar tops, hence people with small hands do a lot of groping. * In an English class this troper had once, the teacher was talking about characterization and how a character had big feet. "And what does it usually mean if someone has big feet?" asked the teacher. Everyone laughed, and the confused teacher explained it meant the character was supposed to be ''clumsy''. * Sort of subverted in a conversation this troper had. --> '''Troper:''' "You know what they say about people with big noses..." --> '''Friend:''' "They're Jews?" --> '''Troper:''' "Well I wasn't expecting that response, but okay." * This troper, who has to wear ''at least'' a size thirteen shoe, is almost always the victim of this trope. * Whenever jigsaw puzzles come up in conversation, this troper says this (sadly, only one complete stranger has thus far got the reference): -->You know what they say about jigsaw puzzles: if you [[HangingSeparately can't solve the puzzle]], making catty comments about cooler characters in the same boat [[EstablishingCharacterMoment won't win you many fans.]] ---Well, you know what they say about the [[YouKnowWhatTheySayAboutX Main Page.]] ---<<|TroperTales|>>


* @/{{Medinoc}}: It happened to one of my friends, after a party where he drank a little too much and apparently said something offending to a few girls. I don't know all details, I was only here when he finally got some of the attendees to admit that you don't remember what you do while drunk and spit out what happened. * People do this to This Troper. I've had bad memory since the age of 5 when I lost my hearing to spinal meningitus; it damaged my brain and it's difficult for me to form memories a lot of the time. So if I do something bad, chances are I genuinely won't remember it later on down the road. Now, there isn't a very big chance of this happening- I'm generally a nice guy even despite the brain-damage ( [[GentleGiant Durrrr]] :D) but I get upset when people accuse me of something I can't remember. If you're mad at me for something, tell me what it is you're mad at me for! * This troper finds it hard to pick up on non-verbal cues and so sometimes does something that he shouldn't (or doesn't do something he should) and then keeps doing (not doing) it even when people are giving him dirty looks, etc. He gets in trouble for this so much that he tells new friends/employers/etc. that they need to tell him straight out what he is doing wrong so he can correct it, because just getting angry about it won't help. ** Oh, this troper can totally relate to this situation. I'd much rather be told out what I'm doing wrong, than have people "hint" to me. The latter is pretty much passive-aggressive behaviour, anyhow. ** Same here. [[Tropers/ZiggyStardustForever I was]] always getting into trouble at school (many times, it was for repeat offenses), and every time it happened, all I could think was, "What'd I do?!". Part of it was due to me being an Aspie, and the other part was due to the fact that anytime other kids committed these same offences, the teachers just ''looked the other way'', so it was really no wonder I was confused. * This troper once had a dream in which her father poured a bucket of cold water over her head. Despite knowing perfectly well that he hadn't done any such thing in real life, she couldn't help but be icy towards him the day afterwards. The bastard's likeness had dumped cold water over her! He had to pay! * This happens quite a bit to this troper. Thus, I have several solutions for this kind of situation. First, ask what exactly did I wrong. If she tells me, I will make amends. If she simply repeats herself, or emphasizes the ''You Know'', I will ask that she please give me a straight answer. If she still refuses, what usually works is that [[DeadpanSnarker I admit that I am an idiot, and need to be reminded what I did.]] This may boost her ego (watch for the slight grin), and if it's gotten to this point, she probably thinks I'm an idiot anyway, and is too damn stubborn to change her mind. Eventually, she will feel she has the higher ground and will deign to forgive me for my idiocy...''this time''. Why, yes, I am a ManipulativeBastard, but without the bastard. * This troper suffered a variation of this trope growing up. If I did something wrong and I didn't really know that what I did was wrong or I just didn't know I had done something in general, my mother would ask me if I knew anything about [thing that is going to get you into

trouble]. If I said no or if I didn't know anything about it, she would just say what happened and scold me for it. I just wanted to sometimes say to her "If you knew what happened, why the hell did you bother asking me!?" * This troper once left the classroom to go to the nurse's office because I had a headache. When I came back, one of my closest friends, who is normally a GentleGiant, was mad at me, even though I hadn't interacted with him before leaving. When I asked him why he was mad, he responded with [[YouKnowWhatYouDid the trope name.]] Apparently, according to the teacher, he had gotten into trouble after I had left. How the two things were related, I don't know. I've always been a little slow on the uptake. ---Go back. Main/YouKnowWhatYouDid. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YouMakeMeSic * This troper's least favourite teacher used to give social studies tests with abysmal spelling and grammar. She only got %70 in the course, but damn it if every test was not handed back to him perfectly corrected. She once considered grading his efforts, but didn't quite have the nerve. * I quite enjoy an inversion of this where I ask if someone getting mad at me for a post is mad because I made a spelling mistake. * A friend of mine once wrote a story where one character described another as "stooped", only to have the other character burst into the room and yell, "It's spelled S-T-U-P-I-D!". The first character replies, "Not 'stupid' as in idiot, 'stooped' as in 'hunched over'." * This troper has made of this a rather unconscious habit when reading. She will fold the corner of the page where she finds a grammar, typographical or spelling mistake. When she finishes the book, she'll count the number of mistakes and write it on a piece of paper she'll stick to the inside of the covers. ** This troper sends letters to the publishers telling them to fix those mistakes. * This troper's sister had an english teacher she hated. She handed in an assignment to her, and got it back with many notes telling her how horrible it was. She sent it back to the teacher, with the teacher's notes corrected. She got 100 that year in English, and didn't attend any more lessons. ** I'mma suggest cross-posting this to Crowning Moment of Awesome. * I did this once for fun. A person wrote to my then-girlfriend how I was, in essence, a waste of human life. I e-mailed him with the copy of his message and pointed out every last mistake, including me saying he spelled his own name wrong. His reaction was incredibly funny. * [[@/{{Lullabee}} This troper]] once was part of an odd variant - a professional article her 10th-grade English class had been assigned to write about contained some kind of error along the lines of RougeAnglesOfSatin (I think it may have been its/it's), so she marked

it with "[sic]". To her, this didn't seem like a situation where it would have been unexpected; one uses good English in English class. But her teacher, while discussing the essays before handing them back, said something along the lines of, "You all did a good job using quotes... Which one of you used ''sic''?" The latter part was said in tones of pleased surprise. Apparently it's not usual for fifteen-yearolds to correct professional literary critics? Who knew? * This troper's friend once got an editing job with a certain unnamed gaming company after sending back a copy of one of their books with all the spelling and grammar mistakes marked. * This troper once corrected her English teacher's use of then/than on a paper. Admittedly, the teacher had been out of it that night, but for a sixty-year-old who's been doing this for most of her life, it must be either kind of humiliating or very pride-inducing to have your grammar corrected by a twelve-year-old. ** Probably both. [[HowDidWeMissThisOne Wait, we don't have a trope for the Student Surpassing The Master?]] * On a forum [[@/{{MFM}} this troper]] frequents, he will correct any spelling mistake anybody else makes, regardless of the situation. * When this troper was in Year Four (3rd Grade to you Americans) he would correct his classmates' spelling and punctuation mistakes when they left their computers unattended. * This troper received an ''engagement announcement'' that contained the phrases "All To Soon" and "Your Invited". To make matters worse, the groom-to-be is an English teacher. * This troper describes herself as "a word person", and her [[SuperOCD obsessive-compulsive tendencies]] seem to have exacerbated her longing to correct any error she sees. This did not endear her to most of her high school teachers, who did not appreciate being corrected, and it was not until college that this troper learned to restrain herself. The break room at her current workplace has several error-riddled notes describing the exact rules for using the coffee machine. This troper has decided that, on her last day at this job, she will sneak into the break room at some point and edit these notes to her heart's content. * One time in a high school class, a fellow student saw a girl accidentally drop a love note in the hallway. Instead of returning it to her, he brought it into the class and caused a class-wide joke over the writer's poor spelling and capitalization (she wrote "amaZing," I swear), some students even making marks on the letter where there were mistakes such as your/you're. It ended up being snagged by one student and being turned in for extra credit to an English teacher as an example of "Grammar Cops". * @/0dd1: I sometimes have fun on {{Facebook}} scrolling through my friends' statuses and conversations and correcting particularly {{egregious}} spelling screw-ups. ** Please forgive me, but do you still have any? *** Yes, yes I do :-) (Though they don't particularly mind, mostly because they don't particularly care. More often, I [[{{MSTing}} make snarky comments]] on their statuses and activity, and that usually gets a reaction of "lol"...of course, that could just mean "Loud Obnoxious Loser."

* Apparently, early on in their relationship, my Dad corrected my Mum's love letters to him and returned them. * There is ''nothing'' more satisfying for a booksmart schoolkid than correcting the English teacher's spelling and grammar. [[EvilFeelsGood The way their faces tweak]]... sorry. This troper took malevolent glee in it as a child. [[LonersAreFreaks Perhaps why he had so few friends his own age]]. Also, subverted hilariously by an RE teacher attempted to say his spelling was poor because he had allegedly spelled 'Pharaoh' wrong (literally, the only example said teacher had). It turned out the spelling was right. So essentially she made ''herself'' sic. Literary bulimia anyone? ** that's "''as'' a child", thank you. ** [[GrammarNazi Fixed.]] * One of this Troper's pet peeves: '''Apostrophe Pluralization'''. It's just so annoying to see apostrophes where there shouldn't be, like pluralizing an acronym (lowercase "s" ''only''!), and other dumb stuff they tell you not to do since ''middle school''. Of course, before [[MarioAndLuigiSuperstarSaga having fury]], I try to make sure it wasn't actually a posessive, because for that, you do need one. ** Apostrophe Pluralization is proper British English. If you're in the States, rage away, but here in Canada [[@/{{Chamale}} This Troper]] can get away with either one. *** This troper is British and... a little bit upset that a Canadian should pronounce on what is "proper British English". No, apostrophe pluralisation is ''never'' correct, and neither is using apostrophe-S for the third person singular present tense of verbs. Yes, people commit those atrocities, here as well, but that doesn't make them correct; the proof of which is that ''well-educated'' people avoid them. * This troper's ex-French teacher was a ''massive'' stickler when it came to grammar. [[HypocriticalHumour Ours, at least.]] I once received test riddled with grammatical errors (in the English bits) and once, curiously, using the completely incorrect conjugation of "Nous finis". I finished the test, and with 15 minutes left over, corrected every single one of her errors. I got 100% on that test. * [[Tropers/KennyMan666 This troper]] does it all the time, including to his brother, who is seven years his senior. This has been going on for many, many years. I'm 23 now, and I STILL correct him. ** You mean you still correct him. *** "Including to his seven year older brother" is a fragment. Also, "seven year older brother" should probably be "seven-years-older brother" or "brother who is seven years older." *** [[Tropers/CalamityJane I took the liberty of fixing it.]] * In second grade, if our teacher was writing on the board and ''ever'' made a spelling mistake, almost ''all the kids in the class'' would raise their hands to correct his error, including me. * This troper was doing a debate about the environment in class, and her opponent, at one point in a statement, said "Owing to the effects of PRECISION." As soon as this troper got up, her first retort was "The wobble of the Earth's axis is called PRECESSION." * This troper has a [[BlatantLies slight]] [[SuperOCD obsession]] with spelling/grammar. Her friends usually find it funny, except when it's

their work she's correcting. * [[@/JohnnyE This troper]] makes a point not to ''correct'' people's English unless they're really annoying him ([[YouFailLinguisticsForever "correct" English doesn't exist]], it doesn't tend to [[InsufferableGenius endear you to people]], and LaserGuidedKarma will always maliciously insert a mistake in your correction), but does have an almost-as-irritating habit of Linguistic Lepidoptery - a sufficiently rare, interesting or grammatically ambiguous construction can send me into an oblivious trance in the middle of a conversation, like a butterfly collector gazing at a rare species that just fluttered by. Etymologies and cognates have a similar effect. [[GeekyTurnOn Mmm, cognates...]] * <T''witch''>... <t''wi''t''ch''>... <''twit''ch-tw''itc''h>... [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preposition_stranding Aaugh!]] ''It is incorrect to end sentences with prepositions.'' And, ''This is the sort of nonsense we will not tolerate!'' no matter whether Churchill said it differently. (Better now.) ** But it isn't. That's just a superstition deriving from overly literal interpretation of the name "preposition". * This troper is normally one of those people who idly corrects BathroomStallGraffiti, but one day decided to mix it up a little by altering a correctly spelt message from 'MORON' to '[[http://www.google.com/search?q=get+a+brain+morans MORAN]]'. Sure enough, next time I check, there's a snarky 'Learn to spell!' message next to it. There's probably a psychology study in this somewhere. * I once typed in a forum thread, "does Daniel Craig make a good James Bone?" and never heard the end of it from the other posters in that thread. * This troper's friend is a fanatic GrammarNazi, and it really became a problem when he kept (mistakenly) correcting another player's use of singular "they" during a game of Catchphrase, blatantly interrupting them and messing up their turn. * A notice at my school ended with the disclaimer: "This supercedes all previous notices about this event" or something like this. I couldn't resist writing underneath: "...and also super'''s'''edes all previous known rules of English spelling". * [[{{Scifantasy}} My]] uncle, when he was in college in NewYorkCity in the '60s, came across some classic graffiti in a subway station: "God is dead. --Nietzsche/Nietzsche is dead. --God." "Nietzsche" was misspelled, so my uncle took the liberty of correcting the spelling...unfortunately, he was arrested for tagging. My grandfather-a writer, editor, and news producer--was, according to my father, more angry that ''my uncle had misspelled "Nietzsche" too''. * This troper has a bad habit of correcting every spelling mistake she sees. Unfortunately, her boyfriend isn't called "Typo King" for nothing... * This troper's best friend's younger brother once took one look at a school project of mine and told me this: "You did a double space there." I naturally reacted apropriately by saying "HOW THE HELL DID YOU NOTICE THAT." *waits for the grammar nazis to correct the many mistakes that are probably within this entry* * If you write to me or anyone else anywhere that "your a bad," I'll

ask you three simple questions to attempt to save one from the "You're bad at grammar" police: (I do sometimes use that on those "your a bad" perpetrators if I feel desperate) --> Where's the noun? --> Why'd the first letter of the alphabet creep in? --> Why'd you choose the wrong homophone? * "Who here has really needed to go the bathroom at school, only to have their teacher correct your question to whether you may go to the bathroom rather than can?" This troper, and during the time it took my Kindergarten teacher to correct me I did, in my pants, in front of the whole class. * I really find stupid mistakes like "to" instead of "too" or "your" instead of "you're" to be absolutely inexcusable, and I'll correct them. This was particularly bad on the WoW forums. I usually ignore mistakes, but I saw this one Enhancement shaman who had made around 4 threads and in every single post had complained about shamans "loosing" dps because they had to swap a glyph out. So I responded to his post, and then I said something to the effect of "By the way, L-OS-E, not L-O-O-S-E. Seriously." He then accused me of derailing the thread (I had disagreed with his main point as well). I just said "Look, I responded your comment, and I added the correction as an afterthought. You're blowing this out of proportion". Then everyone else chimed and, complaining about me and accusing me of ruining the thread (which eventually did get derailed into oblivion). I was so furious that I didn't visit the forums for a few weeks. Apparently correcting a mistake that most people stop making in elementary school is a heinous crime, and trying to decrease the utter stupidity of the world makes me a jerk, apparently. /rage. ** Also, I'd often get yelled at by my 3rd grade teacher for correcting him (I was always right). He said I shouldn't embarrass him in front of the class; I responded that he shouldn't be making mistakes that a 3rd grader could correct. He was not amused. Luckily, my 6th grade teacher was much cooler, and would award homework passes whenever students corrected his spelling. Encouraging kids to see and correct spelling mistakes is what all teachers should be doing. * This troper frequently gets annoyed when he spots incorrectly used apostraphes (I don't know whether I've spelt that right, please correct it if it is wrong), commas and [[MurderArsonAndJaywalking text speak.]] Having said that, he does have enough of a sense of humour to point out hilarious errors: my favourite is when a book on the Shakespeare sonnets declared that the writer (a teacher of English at one of Britain's major universities) was a member of some English board...[[CrowningMomentOfFunny then did it again later in the same paragraph.]] When I noticed it, I couldn't help laughing. ---Go back to [[YouMakeMeSic You Make Me Sick]] * Eye sea ewe maid A mispel. ** See me after class, both of you. * One point will be removed for missing punctuation. * [[TroperTales.BathroomStallGraffiti Minus ten points for poor spelling and word choice. Please edit and resubmit.]]


YouMeanXmas * Hell no I don't! I mean '''Merry Christmas'''. * This troper is a professed atheist. Some years ago, he was accused of incoherence for celebrating Christmas instead of considering December 25 just another work day. This troper rebated that he actually celebrated '''"Xmas (pronounced 'Ecksmas'), which is almost exactly like Christmas, just without Christ"'''. ** Atheist or not, who doesn't believe in taking advantage of a free day off? That's something I think everyone can get on board with... ** [[@/{{Nomic}} This troper]] celebrates the winter solstice, which Christmas was originally based on anyway. He celebrates it in the exact same way as he'd celebrate Christmas as very little about Christmas has anything to do with Christ. The main difference is that he listens to his HP Lovecraft Historical Society's solstice albums instead of Christmas songs. *** Real Atheists celebrate Isaac Newton's Birthay. or Saternalia. Both of these have been themes for my (atheist) family's Christmas parties. **** I don't think celebrating Saturnalia qualifies you as being atheist. Maybe pagan... *** So they celebrate either the birth of an insane (and Christian) genius or honour an ancient god? Doesn't sound much like atheism to me... *** That's the great thing about atheism. You can celebrate anything you like and it doesn't matter. *** Then why not just celebrate Christmas? *** Because then the people who accuse us of incoherence get really smug. And we'd rather be the ones doing [[Main/BuffySpeak the.. uh.. smugging]]. **** While not agreeing with your atheism, this Christian troper totally respects your gangsta. *** This troper is athiest and celebrates Christmas. I just don't go with the religious aspect. I spend the holiday eating candy canes and opening presents. ** Christmas is a national holiday, therefore it can also be considered a secular holiday (plus most of it is nonreligious anyways..). Personally, I find it pretty ridiculous when people ask why you'd be celebrating Christmas if you're not a Christian. Is Santa Claus part of Christianity? Didn't think so. *** This is true, and a lot of families have their own traditions that make Christmas more personal to them than a worldwide organized religion or national marketing event. It would be the same whether you called it 'Christmas', 'X-mas', or as we did this year, 'Solstice'. I don't think anyone could lay claim to the name at this point. *** Any excuse to get a tree in the house. *** Time to worship Santa Claus, one true god of materialism. *** In my country Santa Claus is

[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas Saint Nicholas] and, according to wikipedia, Santa Claus is from Sinterklaas which is... Saint Nicholas. So yes - Santa Claus is part of (was part of) Christianity. And while St. Nicholas was not god in slavic tradition it borrow attributes from Veles (god of, among others, wealth). While it is too far to say he was saint of materialism he was saint of well being. ** The smug people are wrong. Many Jews celebrate Christmas by having a day off, going to the movies and eating Chinese, not caring about the birth of Christ - including Messianic Jews who actually believe in him. * This troper celebrates "Agnostic Kids Get Presents Too Day". You see, we celebrate by hanging lights, decorating a tree, etc. Any relationship to other holidays is entirely coincidental. ** This troper celebrates 'X' gets presents-mas, or for short X-mas ** I just call it Presentmass * ''[[CtrlAltDel Winter-een-mas]]'' bitches! * LewisBlack (I think) once said something along the lines of, '''"I remember when Thanksgiving was its own holiday, and not Christmas Part 1."''' Because of this, [[@/{{Redneck Rocker}} I]] like to call Christmas "Christmas, Part II." * This troper reminds anyone offended by the abbreviation that X can be taken as the Greek letter Chi, which would make it short for Christ anyway. ** Isn't it less 'can', and more 'is'? To my knowledge, Christmas as been referred to as Xmas for years, because early Christians who were persecuted used X to denote Christ (for the reason you said). * This atheistic troper's personal philosophy is that the ''name'' doesn't matter, because Christmas has ''[[InvertedTrope inverted]]'' HijackedByJesus by being hijacked by an alliance of rampant consumerism and the idea "it's not the receiving, it's the giving". Besides, he's the only out-and-out militant atheist in his family (although it has to be said that most of them are at most very slightly religious) and doesn't see any reason in ruining their Decembers with snarky asides against Christianity. * This troper's mom, an agnostic and lapsed Wiccan, asked him if he wanted to celebrate Yule instead of Christmas so we'd have more free time to enjoy our presents. A Yule tree looks exactly the same as a Christmas tree. ** Maybe because that's where the tradition came from? * This troper is atheist. He abhors the use of the term 'Happy holidays'. [[ByAnyOtherName It's called Christmas]]. Doesn't mean he has to particularly care about the [[DisContinuity official story behind that]]. * This troper likes to call it "The Holiday", as in "Happy Holiday". Be assured though, that this troper doesn't actually ''celebrate'' it [[hottip:*:nor does he celebrate other holidays]], and merely uses the name as tounge-in-cheek. * On one internet forum this troper makes a different avatar each December, each celebrating a different festival. So far, these have included Newtonmas, [[{{Discworld}} Hogswatch]], [[StarWars Life Day]], and now [[{{Cthulhu}} Cthulhumas]].

* No love for [[{{Seinfeld}} Festivus]]? * This troper keeps meaning to celebrate Pastafarian "Holiday", but hasn't got round to it. So far he's generally tried to please everyone, by [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything putting up a Yule tree, taking Saturnalia off work to give presents, hanging a stocking for Santa Claus, hoping the days will start getting longer, and just for the look of the thing, naming the whole thing after Christ.]] * This Jewish troper simply wishes the other party a Merry Christmas, Chag Sameach, Gut Yontiff or Happy Holiday depending on the particular faith or lack thereof of the person he's speaking to. He has no problem issuing Christians a "Merry Christmas" if he isn't Christian, and does not get worked up if someone issues him a "Merry Christmas" he doesn't see the need to; it's not as though they were trying to be insulting, so why take it as an insult? That's just being a JerkAss. Besides - he has nothing in particular against being merry on Christmas. * [[@/{{RAMChYLD}} This troper]] has given up on Christmas. Not because he doesn't get anything on that day however(expected, he's Buddhist!). It's when a particular website that allows one to "check Santa's wish list" to see if one has been naughty or nice and finds that [[JerkAssGods it lists a bully that just picked on him a few hours earlier and thrashed the entire classroom just because it's the last day of school as nice while he was listed as naughty despite him not fighting back and actually staying back after school to clean up the mess]], he snapped. Now he celebrates F***mas, in which he wakes up at 4 in the morning, watch videos of that VerySpecialEpisode of shows (usually the ChristmasEpisode) [[ScrewedByTheNetwork he's loved and lost]] up until afternoon, and then goes out on a walk until at night, in which he then ends the day with a can or two of alcopop. He also calls "Boxing Day" "F***mas Aftermath" and spends the first half of the day in bed recovering from hangovers from overconsuming alcopop and the other half messing with his computers ("family time"). ** Merry F****Mas one and all! Ho Ho Ho!!! ---Go back to have a merry Chri--I mean, um... [[Main/YouMeanXmas Xmas]]. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YouMustBeCold * Oddly enough, this troper has several times done this, but then the girl gives it back because I look cold too. * This troper's younger sister is actually inclined to offer the troper her jacket if we're out running around with our father. It's because I'm smaller and tend to have a lower body temperature than she, so I'm often cold when my sister is perfectly fine. * My high school biology teacher actually met his wife through this trope. * I had just met this guy and we were running around a park, getting to know each other, having fun. I was cold, He had a hoodie, I kind of

hoped he would be welling to share, what with me being the lady and hoping chivalry was still alive and all that. Long story short, I had to be treated for Hypothermia. * I have yet to experience this trope because girls always turn down the jacket when i offer it to them * Exaggerated: I (male) and some friends were out and one of the girls was cold so she got a jacket from another girl... and a jacket from a second girl... and my coat... and it was still too cold for her. The whole thing happened on a rather sunny day anyway, what makes it even more absurd. * This troper once went to a Valentine's Day dance with my boyfriend and one of my guy friends. Because it was absurdly hot inside, we went outside to wait for our rides. Naturally, this being February in the Midwest and me in a strapless dress, I got cold, fast. The guys, both in suits with jackets, tried to invoke this, but they both started taking off their jackets at the exact same time, then stopped, then starting taking them off again. Finally, they agreed that my boyfriend should just give me his. So he takes it off and tries to drape it over my shoulder, but I'm messing with a video camera and have nowhere to put it down. We danced in a circle for half a minute before my guy friend held it for me so I could get the jacket on. We gave a group of freshmen that were watching us a laugh. ---Go back to YouMustBeCold, and bring a jacket. ----

YouNeverAsked * This troper, her best friend, and her mother once had an extremely long and protracted conversation about the merits of ugly towels in dorms. And the making of said towels. At the end of it, she couldn't help but wonder: "Why are we TALKING about this?" ** ...So what ''are'' the merits? Are they less likely to be stolen or "borrowed"? *** Yes. In fact, this troper had serious problems with that, and the offending suitemates had even "kidnapped" her favorite towel, which was technically a beach towel and had a giant checkerboard on it. She still has the foam checkers. **** ...That towel was MadeOfWin. * Same troper and same friend had a conversation just recently about whether or not a brownie with frosting on it is a piece of cake. This dissolved into a discussion about the taxonomic classifications of cakes, brownies, and cookies. We determined that brownies and cakes can mate, but they can't produce viable offspring. ** The difference between a cake and a biscuit (or cookie, to Americans) is that when a cake goes stale, it goes hard. When a biscuit/cookie goes stale, it goes soft. This is true, as reported on ''{{QI}}''. * [[TromboneChild This troper]] and her mother had a heated argument recently about whether Gotham City is the fictional equivalent of New York or Chicago. This troper claimed it was Chicago because of ''Batman Begins/The Dark Knight'' and because the ''Superman'' movies

use New York as Metropolis. Her mother said it was New York because she claimed she'd heard people say things like "I'm going to Gotham" when talking about New York. So the troper's mother told her to Google it, which led nowhere; then said to check Wikipedia, and that didn't work; so they ended up calling this troper's grandfather to ask him. He said Gotham was most certainly New York, no question about it, so this troper had to eat her words. ** For the record, Metropolis is widely believed among comic book geeks to be Los Angeles. ([[{{Heatherly}} This troper]] believes it should be Kansas City, since it's apparently in Kansas, but whatever.) Chicago is Star City, Green Arrow's turf. *** Thanks for the info. This troper feels better now. But Metropolis only seems to be located in Kansas in the ''{{Smallville}}'' canon. *** ...Kansas City is in Missouri. *** Last I checked, it was in Kansas, too. **** Yep. It's the same city, it just happens to straddle a state line. ** This troper heard an interpretation that he considers quite cool. Basically, Metropolis is New York by day while Gotham is New York by night. ** This troper is pretty sure that Gotham, Metropolis, and New York all have independent existence in the DCU. Also, he's fond of the theory that Gotham is a heavily urbanized LovecraftCountry. ** [[http://www.karridian.net/dcatlas.html DC has an official Atlas. Let's move on, people.]] *** Sheesh. Sorry, we're not really ComicBook readers. And actually, it was a pretty damn funny argument. All of the theories and the guessing were actually a lot more fun than you handing us the answer. You're missing the point of a SeinfeldianConversation. *** And the Atlas isn't really as WordOfGod as one would think it'd be--locations of cities in the DCU tend to move around depending on the era and the writer. The current location of Star City, for example, is somewhere in northern California, and Ivy Town (the Atom's stomping grounds) started out as an {{Expy}} for New Haven, Connecticut but moved to Ithaca, New York in the early 90's. * [[GwenStacyWannabe This troper]] and her best friend once had a rather long conversation in which the [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} friend]] attempted to explain to her that if a modern-day BeautyAndTheBeast story (the Disney version) were made, Belle would be a biker chick. Now, most people would've just given said friend a funny look and changed the subject, but in the interest of science, I had her elaborate... This happens a lot, though, so I'm used to it. ** Well, let's hear it. Why would Belle be a biker chick? *** Apparently her desire for adventure proves that, were she in the modern world, she would be a biker chick. I'm sorry to say I can't really elaborate much, as the conversation was several years ago and I don't remember most of it. * An overly large proportion of this troper's conversations with his dormmates involves SuperSmashBros or video games in general. We're all nerds, and he suspects that this is endemic to the lifestyle. * In what may be an odd mixture of SeinfeldianConversation and {{Cloudcuckoolander}}, this troper once had the opportunity to

discuss, with classmates, the question of "Who would win, a homicidal robot or a suicidal robot?" After first redefining homicide to include robots, of course. (While one would think the scenario is win-win, the conclusion was that it depended on the intentions of the suicidal robot. If it was trying to die by some other method, the homicidal robot wins. Contrariwise, the suicidal robot could have developed an [[BatmanGambit elaborate scheme]] to dupe the homicidal robot into killing it, thus achieving victory.) * This troper and his best friend once had a two hour conversation on whether or not a preying mantis would make an appropriate little brother. ** How well do you get along with your sister-in-law now? * This troper and his friends have had two separate conversations about the order they would die in if they were in a horror movie. For the record, this troper, being the designated nerd and comic relief, dies in the middle. * [[{{Heatherly}} This troper]] once, I swear to God, had the following conversation with twelve-year-old sister and ten-year-old brother: --->'''Sister:''' "Did you know smoking can make hairs grow on your tongue?" --->'''Troper:''' "What?" --->'''Sister:''' "Smoking can make you grow hair on your tongue. I read it on the internet." --->'''Troper:''' "No, it can't. You can't trust everything you read on the internet. Anyway, it's the medicine they give you for emphysema, which is a disease you can get from smoking, that makes hairs grow. And that's on your face, not your tongue." --->'''Sister:''' "Emphysema?" --->'''Troper:''' "Yeah. Grandpa Fred has it." --->'''Sister:''' "I thought he was dead." --->'''Troper:''' "No." --->'''Sister:''' "Who gets his stuff when he does die?" --->'''Troper:''' "His wife." --->'''Sister:''' "He has a wife?" --->'''Troper:''' "Yeah. Mom's stepmom, Goldina." --->'''Sister:''' "Goldina?!" --->'''Brother:''' (walking in): "Who's that?" --->'''Troper:''' "Mom's stepmom." --->'''Sister:''' "I can't believe Mom has a stepmom!" --->'''Troper:''' "Mom's had a stepmom for, like, ten years. Where've you been?" --->'''Sister:''' "Well, I didn't know. I thought he just ran off." --->'''Brother:''' "How can a stepmom be a 'he'?" --->'''Troper:''' "Not her, Grandpa." --->'''Brother:''' "Grandpa who?" --->'''Troper:''' "Grandpa Fred." --->'''Brother:''' "Oh. [[DidAKoreanPersonDie Didn't he die]]?" ** But smoking CAN make tiny black hairlike things grow on your tongue, if you have poor oral hygiene. It's more likely to be caused by intravenous needle use, though. * [[{{Nomic}}This troper]] has conversations like this often. Once he

was having a serious conversation about the American right to bear arms that eventually ended up mutating into a discussion about the merits of airplane mounted Gatling cannons and whether or not a battleship armed with a rail gun is actually useful, not necessary or just too cool not to be built. * This troper and her friends recently had a conversation discussing the whole "glass half full, glass half empty" idea through a logical and contextual standpoint. They decided that a glass was half full if you poured something in it to the halfway point, and half empty if you took out half of whatever was in it. They were fairly into it (almost to the point of debating) before this troper paused and asked "why are we ''having'' this conversation?" ** This troper has come to the exactly same conclusion. ** A glass that's half full can't also be half empty; it'd have to be less than half. To be both, the amount of liquid would have to be half of the glass's capacity exactly, to the molecule; and in most cases it wouldn't stay that way, thanks to either evaporation or condensation. ** [[{{Hremsfeld}} This Troper]]'s father has [[ six]] glasses about this topic: --> '''Optimist:''' The glass is half full --> '''Pessimist:''' The glass is half empty --> '''Engineer:''' The glass is twice as big as it needs to be --> '''Quantum Physicist:''' The glass has a 50% probability of holding water --> '''Philosopher:''' If no one looks at the glass, who's to say how full or empty it is? --> '''Accountant:''' Does the glass really ''need'' all that water? ** This Troper's father writes a Christmas letter every year, and the one from when this troper was about 3 says somewhere: --> '''Dad:''' The glass is half full. --> '''Mom:''' The glass is half empty. --> '''Older brother:''' Hey! Who stole some of my juice! --> '''This troper:''' Lucky! Lucky! Lucky! I've got some juice! * Averted with me. I often bring up extremely trivial topics, but no one really ever responds, and if they do, I don't ever really respond. * This troper recently had a conversation on a bus that started with how in school suspensions are stupid, shifted to discussing Anarchist Communism, and concluded with the idea that there is no reason for sentient robots to not kill humanity. * When this troper discussed how gerbils can fly and hamsters can't. According to me, gerbils could fly if they use their little tails like helicopter rudders. Of course, it was also a [[MushroomSamba mushroom samba]] scene because I was on-my-ass high on pain meds after getting surgery on my leg. * [[BladedSmoke This troper]] had an hour-long conversation with one of his friends about which plant would win if every type of plant in the world got together for a massive [[BattleRoyaleWithCheese fight.]] We eventually concluded that it would end in a final epic showdown between the Venus fly trap and the oak tree. Unfortunately, this was on a long bus journey for a school trip, and one of our teachers was sitting behind us and listening fascinated to every word. At the end of the trip, everyone got awards, and ours was a joint prize for 'Most

bizarre conversation.' ** Why is that unfortunate? That's mildly awesome. * This troper's friend once got a whole class arguing over whether turkeys can fly. ** Incidentally, they CAN fly. They can fly quite well. They just prefer to run, because running is easier. * This troper and her younger sister somehow got into an extended conversation on the merits of the "Talking Face" sprites in ''HarvestMoon [[DistaffCounterpart DS Cute]].'' We couldn't decide which was scarier: Cody's [[http://www.fogu.com/hm6/img/chan3/villagers/cody_m9.png REALLYREALLYMAD!]] face or Gotz's [[http://www.fogu.com/hm6/img/chan3/villagers/gotz_p9.png REALLYREALLYHAPPY!]] face. Vesta, we decided, was just over-all freaky. But we both agreed that Carter had the best expressions overall--his [[http://www.fogu.com/hm6/img/chan3/villagers/carter_p500.png happy face]] is quite pleasantly cheerful, but his [[http://www.fogu.com/hm6/img/chan3/villagers/carter_m5000.png EPIC FACEPALM]] is completely hilarious, his hair get [[ExpressiveHair really expressive]] when he's [[http://www.fogu.com/hm6/img/chan3/villagers/carter_m800.png mad]], and his [[http://www.fogu.com/hm6/img/chan3/villagers/carter_m500.png mildly depressed]] face is so utterly pathetic that it just makes you want to [[TheWoobie pat him on the head and bring him milk and cookies.]] * This troper has Seinfeldian thoughts. During the first Obama / [=McCain=] debate, he was distracted by how the thin stripes on [=McCain=]'s tie were so close together the camera made them wiggly. That segued into a half-hour thought train on the evolution of neckties. It turns out their ancestry goes something like this: ** Animal skin tied around neck ** Cape/cloak ** Scarf ** Ascot ** Tie ** Please note, some links in the evolutionary chain may have been overlooked. *** Sorry to say this, but ties were invented to hide buttons on buttoned up shirts because they were supposed to be considered embarasing *** Actually, they evolved from a decorative scarf worn by Croatian mercenaries, which is where we get the word "cravat" from. * This troper had a really long talk about what would happen if the Nazis could find their way to Narnia... * This troper gets into {{Seinfeldian conversation}}s often, but most notably, he and his family were discussing the merits of ice cream and the naming of furniture stores, when he noticed that they were having a Seinfeldian conversation. His younger sister said, "Then I'm Kramer." His parents quickly claimed Jerry and Elaine, to which he responded, "George is getting upset!" * This troper's ethics class hasA character on the show has been

[[LockedOutOfTheLoop less than forthcoming]] about information that would have certainly helped the protagonist [[PoorCommunicationKills figure things out faster]]. Often, there's a good reason -- a BigSecret, for example. In reality, the writers just needed a way to protract the story or build the suspense. * <{{Sceptre}}> so {{TsundeRay}} why didn't you tell me you're a [[GameFAQs LUEser]]? <{{TsundeRay}}> Because you never asked. * This editor has an acquaintance who is willing to talk about any topic. Conversations with him always derail into conversations about sexual practices. [[WorseThanItSounds It gets boring after a while]]. This editor usually has long conversations with a friend. One of the most memorable ones started with someone asking "Why do boats float?" and my friend calmly replied that they float because they have a layer of [[CriticalResearchFailure cork underneath the surface]]. When this editor pointed out it didn't work that way, his friend gave a lengthy explanation covering how it [[HollywoodScience could]] work [[YouFailPhysicsForever if someone designed a boat that way]]. You're looking for the YouNeverAsked article? Well, why didn't you ''say'' so? ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YoungerThanTheyLook * This troper. At 14 he was given the alcohol menu at a restaurant. He gets this often at his college nowadays, people mistake me for a 23-25 year old when I'm only 16. * This troper is eighteen years old, but is constantly mistaken for someone in her mid twenties. This troper does not bother to correct this assumption if waiters offer her the wine list at restaurants. Hey, why not? ** When this same troper's friend went to her older sister's wedding a few years ago, many guests assumed that her youngest sister was actually her daughter. This troper's friend was barely fifteen at the time, and her youngest sister was nine. Whoops. * This troper is 17, but, is often mistaken for at least a decade older than that. Correcting somebody after they mistake you for your 42 year old mother's husband is awkward, to say the least... * This troper used to work at a store that sold knives and various other weapons. It was her dad's, so she often helped for less pay. She got asked out by two older (40ish)if she wanted to go to a bar later. She was 13. They though she was mid-20s. This troper has also been mistaken for her sisters' (9&10) mom, at 15. Other times, however, it's the opposite. * This Troper. People always seem to assume I'm between the ages of twenty and twenty-three. I'm seventeen. Men have tried to pick me up and buy me drinks at restaurants, I often get asked what my major is or what I do for a living... It's flattering, but rather awkward most of the time. ** This Troper is also constantly mistaken for her mother on the

phone. Annoying as hell, but occasionally quite useful... * This troper got offered a JOB at 14, could pass for an adult on the phone, her friend got hit on by waiters and the like at the same age (cue "oh, god I'm a pervert" look when they found out) and she and said friend could get into bars for +18 year-olds. Seeing someone older than you (yeah, he was pretty short)be asked to leave; akward. * This troper now ''always'' makes sure she's of appropriate age. * She hangs around his 18-22 yrs olds friends all the time, this troper ganders her from afar, and mentions her when one of his friends oh-so- innocently wonders if "...[I] knew she is ''thirteen years old'', right?" And no, nothing happened, and yes, This Troper drained a couple of kegs that night. * [[@/{{Gecko}} This teenaged troper]] has been mistaken for her eleven-year-old half-sister's ''mother''. ** And more recently, she was mistaken for her late-forties father's ''wife''. D: ** As [[Tropers/{{G-Mon}} this troper]] mentioned on TroperTales/RelativeError, he used to be mistaken for his 12-yearsyounger sister's father. ** [[@/SpamWarrior3000 This troper]] took her eighteen-year-old friend to the DMV to take her written driving exam, and the guy behind the counter thought I was her mother. I was ''twenty-five'' at the time. Then again, when I was fourteen and went out to a nice restaurant with my extended family, the waitress asked me what kind of wine I wanted with dinner. * [[@/{{Cidolfas}} This troper]] went to school with someone who had a full beard and was almost 6 feet tall in eighth grade. ** This troper WAS someone who had a full beard and was almost six feet tall in eighth grade. *** This troper is someone who is 6'1" in 8th grade and has a 34DD chest. * This troper's stepbrother was already hairy on the chin by grade 6, with a moustache the following year. As he takes after his hirstute father, his name is now 'Sasquatch Jr.' * This Troper has had a beard since he was 16, and was regularly mistaken for being in his 20s. One woman once thought he was 25 (although the woman in question wasn't terribly bright). ** The same Troper was also quite startled recently to discover than a cute girl he thought was 13 or 14 at youngest turned out to be 11. His jaw nearly hit the floor. ** This troper is 17 years old, 6'3", 225 pounds, and has a voice deeper than that of Jamieson Prince. He is frequently mistaken to be in his mid 20's. * This troper was six feet tall and had a noticable moustache in the seventh grade to that his middle school added a rule about facial hair primarily because of him (it had never come up before). Noticeably jarring as the men in his family don't grow much facial hair and his father didn't shave until college. ** This troper didn't have any classes with him (I don't think we were even in the same grade), but there was a boy at her middle school who had a moustache. He still looked his age, though, just with inexplicable facial hair.

* This troper was told, at the age of sixteen, that she could easily pass for twenty-five. Come to think of it, she was first called a "lady" by a mother talking to her child (as in, "let the nice lady go first") at thirteen. * A girl in my class at primary (elementary) school was rather ... well-endowed, and also extremely mature-looking and -acting compared to the rest of us 12-year-olds. I point her out in the class photo, "oh, and that's our teacher, Miss X" and ''no-one'' has said anything. She's also got engaged at 19 (''extremely'' rare in my country, average age of marriage 29-ish), so here's hoping she's not a withered crone at 30. * This troper has gone through this trope and out [[OlderThanTheyLook the other side]]: she was a HugeSchoolgirl up until she suddenly stopped growing at fourteen, and a fairly well-endowed one at that. Therefore, she was regularly mistaken for being 2-4 years older than her actual age. ** Ditto for this troper, who spent her school years being [[YoungerThanTheyLook Younger Than She Looked]] (being tall definitely helps) and is now in college and [[OlderThanTheyLook Older Than She Looks]] (since height no longer counts, and she's babyfaced). * It's a bit of a subversion with me. People say I sound like I'm 40 on the phone, when I'm only 17. ** Same here. Those telemarketers always seem to think I'm the head of the household. The conversation will oftten sound like this: -->'''Caller''': Hi, I'm calling to talk to you about (product goes here). -->'''Troper''': Hold on, let me get my mom on the phone. -->'''Caller''': I'm sorry, how old are you? -->'''Troper''': Sixteen. -->'''Caller''': Oh wow! -->'''Troper''':*sighs* ** This troper has suffered from the same problem! About a year ago I had to phone my dad's work about something and when one his co-workers was told I wanted to speak to my dad he said "Hey Doug some guy wants to speak to you" Very odd Considering i am younger then I look in person. ** This troper had something similar happen...when she was about 14, she was somehow mistaken by her great aunt to be her grandmother when she answered the phone at her house. What the hell. * Someone from [[@/DarkInsanity13 this troper's]] mother's Rotary Club once asked "so, did you come back to help your mom out?" while she and this troper were cleaning tables at the local ribfest (referring to how she is in university). This troper replied "I'm only in grade 11." There have been several other similar occasions where people seem to think she's older than she is. She doesn't even think she ''looks'' that old. Nowadays, however, she's being mistaken [[OlderThanTheyLook for being younger than she is]], but this is justified in that she's come back for a 5th year of high school. * This troper is friends with a someone who looks like she's in her late 30's or 40's (the fact that she's a teacher makes her seem even older), but is really [[spoiler:24]]. * [[@/ManCalledTrue This troper]] had a full beard and stood six feet

tall at 16; he started shaving at 13. He regularly trounced the ageguessing guys at carnivals (one of them said 28). He's grown into his height, and these days won't shave his mustache for fear of OlderThanTheyLook. * This troper, despite being shorter than average, is frequently taken to be older than his actual age of 16, especially when wearing his PMA jacket. He is completely mystified as to why. * This troper's twin sister is frequently assumed to be older than she looks, while her twin is the exact opposite. A perfect example of this is when both of them were at a wedding reception, and the waitress poured said sister a glass of wine. What did this troper get? A coke. Both of them had just turned 15. * This troper is usually [[OlderThanTheyLook Older Than She Looks]], but occasionally she has been mistaken for a mother at some of her 11year-old sister's events (it's only 8 years, people!), and when she was 14, she play with her high school jazz band at a local university's jazz festival. The band played in a brand-new auditorium-so new, in fact, that a news crew showed up and filmed part of this festival, so said troper ended up on the evening news. A few people she knew at the time told her they saw her on TV and one of them, an elderly woman, said it looked like this troper, but the girl on TV looked at least 25. * This troper's parents, when he was a kid (specifically, in the single digits), regarded him as looking older than he really was, and took advantage of this to let him play at an age-restricted arcade by himself. (Said arcade had a rule stating that children under 10 must be accompanied by an adult.) Similarly, up until recently, his friend would, despite being at least 18, get away with paying youth (5-17) fare on buses. * At age... I'm not sure, either 12/13, I was told that I sound like I'm 20, it was over voice chat on Pokemon though, so it was probably just the poor microphone quality. Although some guy thought I was old enough to have a cigarette, and other people have commented that I seem older then I really am. [[{{Shotacon}} Damnit.]] * Once, at a place where those 15 or under had a reduced price, the ticket person refused to believe the tall and bearded 15 year old cousin of this troper was even under 18. She kept saying "nice try." and since he couldn't prove it he had to pay the adult price. This troper's sister at 17 (in the US) was served alcohol after the lady asked "Are you old enough?" but then laughed and poured it without waiting for an answer. This troper isn't as extreme, though he was barely 17 entering college but passed as 18 with no doubts. ** Well, this same troper just got a guess age of 25 at facestat.com and he's still 17. It must be the goatee. *** Hey, the beard never fails. This troper (age: 17) visited his cousin (age: 20) and was called out by her friends for being intimidatingly mature (perceived age: >23). * This troper is 16 and in law school, where the average age is around 25. He doesn't get any questions. * This troper used know a woman at his fencer's club who always acted surprisingly immature. She would often throw small temper tantrums after losing a bout against someone smaller than she was (which was a

lot of people, since she was very tall for a woman.) Eventually, after asking around for a while, I discovered that she was really a [[HugeSchoolgirl twelve-year-old girl.]] * This troper managed to buy wine in bars and restaurants at age 17 without ever being asked for an ID. Once an acquaintance fifteen years older than the troper suddenly realized that we were not of the same age. * This troper's sister was always tall and sensible and mature for her age. This led to things like not getting the 12-and-under discount ''at age 9'' and being asked, as a 14-year-old babysitter providing some extra help at a 6-year-old's birthday party, "Which one's yours?" * This troper looked like she was in her early 20s from the age of about 13 onwards, and was never asked for ID as a teenager. She is now 21 and people have thought she was in her FORTIES before! * This troper has been the physical embodiment of this trope practically since birth, when as a baby, mistaken for his older sister's twin (to be fair, she was only 1, but that's still a massive gap at that age). ** It continued as time went on; by the age of 5, this troper was a full head and shoulders above his new classmates; by the age of 9 was mistaken for being over 12 (to get into some places that only allowed teens but not little kids); at 11, when starting secondary school, being mistaken for a 16yo sixth-former; by 16, being mistaken for a late-20s/early-30s TEACHER by fellow students, and is now occasionally mistaken for his own father's SLIGHTLY YOUNGER BROTHER (in reality, a 30 year age-gap from his parents). He's also been mistaken for his mother's older boyfriend, and for his sister's *much* older boyfriend on different occasions.... *** This troper's actual age is 26. * This troper is accustomed to people going "wtf?!" when learning that he's only 18. He constantly asks people to guess his age and goes "WRONG-O!" when they guess 24. I am, in fact, NOT my sister's twin, as she likes telling the general populace occasionally. * This troper's father took this troper's sister to pick up her birthday cake one year. As they were coming out of the store, he noticed a carful of boys looking her over, obviously liking what they saw. He claims it took all of his strength not to go over there and calmly tell them: "Guys... she's ''thirteen''." * This troper has been mistaken for her father, mother and YOUNGER brother on the phone. She has been confused for a teacher by student and adult alike. Alternatively, one of her friends looks very much sixteen/seventeen but is really twenty. Her friend attributes it to her Irish and Puerto Rican blood. * People keep mistaking me for a university student when I'm still 17. [[Main/CakeEater Woohoo]]. ** [[@/JET73L This troper]] ''is'' a university student when he's still 17 (since he was sixteen, and looked older than some classmates who were ''returning'' to school). He has been mistaken for a professor (not a student teacher, ''a professor''). For the last few years looked at least half over again his real age, or more if he wasn't sleeping well. On the plus side, he gets to stay in restaurant/bars even after the kitchen closes.

* [[@/{{Bryce Bryans}} My]] local library has a librarian who looks like he's in his mid-30s, when he's really double that age. Could be a {{Hot Librarian}} if he didn't go on about his aches and pains all the time. ** Dude, that's the opposite trope. * It was only an online thing for this troper. She was mistaken for 18 when she was 13 on a gaming site, and even after it being confirmed by her older brother that she was just a pint-sized teenager, friends were surprised. * [[@/{{Gerusz}} This troper]] was mistaken for 19 from since when he was 14. In his country the drinking age is 18... * This troper frequently gets mistaken for a teenager, most likely due to still dressing and acting like one. This was realised when a group of co-workers demanded he produce ID because they were positive he was 18. At the time, he was 22. (And at the time of troping, as well. 01/2009, for reference.) * Chiming in with this. This [[@/{{AOD}} troper]] is only twenty, but once he was going to see his professor and she thought he was a postdoc. * They develop fast in Georgia. More than once I've found out the girl I spent the night with was uncomfortably young, potentially felonious if I weren't underage myself at the time. I thought I would be safer in college, and I guess I was because the last time I was in that situation, the girl was at least 17. * [[@/{{Haza}} This troper]] usually hangs out with either an otaku group (ages ranging from 18 to 29) or a literary geek group (ages ranging from... 25 to 50, or something). Especially the latter ones didn't believe her when she said she was 15... after giving them her 500-page manuscript to beta. * [[@/{{chitoryu12}} This troper]] has been repeatedly mistaken for being five or six years older than he is ever since the end of elementary school. While at Margaritaville, the bartender was shocked that this 16-year-old ordered a non-alcoholic drink. Funny enough, the girl he likes is a freshman in high school but looks 16. * hello... tear from tales of the abyss, there is no freaking ways that she's 16 years old. * This troper was in a B-cup in fifth grade. She was mistaken for sixteen from the ages of twelve through ''twenty-eight'', for some inexplicable reason, making the interesting transition from YoungerThanTheyLook to OlderThanTheyLook. ** To give one specific example: I was attending a surprise party for my grandfather, and one woman (for unexplained reasons) was taking notes on who was there before he arrived. She asked me if I knew anyone else who was coming; I replied that my husband had gone to pick up my little sister, who was then 17. -->'''Woman:''' ''*fawning voice*'' Your husband. Oh, you're so young to be married! -->'''Me:''' ''*confused*'' I'm twenty-five. -->'''Woman:''' I thought you were sixteen! * This troper got to 21 when he was 12. I'm 13 now and easily racking up 17-18. As a bonus, I've been mistaken for my 21 year old brother. By my mom. What's worst? He's been mistaken for me by my mom, too.

* This 15-year-old troper is usually mistaken for anywhere from 18-22, despite having an A cup and not much of a feminine figure. * This 14-year-old female troper actually ''does'' look her age, but there was this one incident at a party on New Year's Eve where a 25year-old guy came up to her and shamelessly hit on her with the line [[{{hintDropping}} "Soooo... wanna come with me and get some champagne?"]]. This troper hopes that this guy thought she was older than she looked, because [[{{lolicon}} otherwise...]] * Whenever she goes to a restaurant with her friends, this troper is always given the wine list. No one in the group is anywhere near the age of 21. The next time this happens, this troper has half a mind to ask "and who do you think is 21 here, anyway?" because the answer has become a hotly contested debate amongst her friends. * This female troper has been mistaken for her younger brother's ''younger sister.'' And her father has once been mistaken to be her boyfriend. * My 15 year old friend constantly gets hit on by middle aged men. Which is creepy, but useful, because they usually buy her stuff and then run like hell when she tells them how old she is. She's gotten into some good shows that way, and she's not even trying. * At age 11, this troper came along when her parents went to vote in an election, and was asked if she was voting. Not patronisingly, either, the guy actually believed she was 18. She was already her full adult height and a C-cup at that stage. * This troper is always mistaken for a college student,she is only in high school, but when she is visting local college town, both students and highschoolers check her out, her mom says is because she looks older and acts more age wise, she even has made friends with a guy who is a almuni of her school. * This Troper was once mistaken for my 12 year old sister's mother when she was 15. A lady working at Borders asked if I was her mom. I was tempted to read all my favorite manga and not pay for it. Mwahahahaha! To be fair, I was wearing a freaking Eskimo sized jacket at the time, wore no makeup, and had no girly purse with me at the time. * For this troper, when he was 23, he had to show ID to buy {{Mortal Kombat}}: Armageddon. That was annoying. Otherwise, many don't believe my age right away. Many people are in awe when they here my current age(being 25 in this case). * @/DesertDragon enjoyed this boon in his teenage years. He reached 6 feet at 12, and looked like he was in his early 20's when he was 1516. That stopped being fun when he started going gray at 17. This has thankfully stabilized a bit; now 24, people actually guess the correct age most of the time. ** Less humorously, he volunteered at a homeless shelter once and was distressed at how the men there looked ''way'' older than their [=IDs=] indicated. Some were around his mother's age (mid-40's) and looked like their early 60's. * [[@/{{sgrunt}} This troper]] is usually mistaken for being around 25, and has been mistaken as such since he was around 16. This troper has enjoyed being mistaken for a grad student previously (although that won't be a mistake in around four months' time).

* @/{{Killby}} has often been mistaken for a 16 year old (at 13), what with his large stature and facial hair. Combine this with {{Wise Beyond Their Years}} and it becomes hard to tell for anyone (and hard for him to explain, every time). * This Troper has had a Wine list Handed to her before she turned eighteen! * This Troper was mistaken for a twelve-year-old at age six. In fourth grade, after transferring to a new school in the middle of the year, the students in her new class refused to believe she wasn't a substitute teacher until the real teacher showed up to set them straight. At fourteen, strangers started to assume she was her nineyear-old sister's mother. Oddly enough, she herself has been tricked into thinking that she was four in a picture that was actually taken when she was one-and-a-half. * This troper, at 14, has often been mistaken for anything from 16 to 23. It's not always the looks, though; I was told that it was because of my maturity in speech. * [[@/{{Seiryu}} This troper]] was once asked out by a college student. The troper was in eighth grade. The only response he could muster through his shock was "Sorry, I've got curfew." *{{Facepalm}} * [[@/{{Pinkbaron}} This troper]] has been mistaken to be two or three years older than her actual age due to her figure and maturity. She was once offered a job at an animal shelter when she was ''thirteen years old''. * [[@/{{Crazyrabbits}} I]] have been told by many a person that I look to be 25-30, even though I only turned 21 a couple months ago. That's not much of a problem for me. However, I was once mistaken to be the husband (and new dad) of my 35 year-old coworker, who was pregnant at the time. I just let that remark (given by a 50 year-old customer) sink in for a while. * This 20-year-old troper, at an anime convention, came across a particularly cute cosplayer and got to meet her. At first, he thought she was in the 18-20 range. However, said cosplayer said she was a junior in high school, implying that she's 16 or 17, much to his dismay. * This barely 18-year-old troper is frequently mistaken for her mother (her dad still teases her about the time time she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror out of the corner of her eye and made that same mistake herself), has taken occasional classes at the local university since her sophomore year in high school with barely anyone suspecting she wasn't a regular college student, and has occasionally been offered alcoholic drinks. Once, as a sophomore in high school, she was even mistaken for a teacher. The really bizarre thing is every so often someone places her age a few years ''younger'' than she actually is. Her favorite story, however, is when someone thought her and her mum were both her dad's daughters (and her parents are less than three months apart). ** In addition, she has a friend four years younger than she is who she could've sworn was the same age as her. When two other friends of hers first met, they each pegged the other at about 15. One was 12 and the other 17. * This fifteen-year-old troper never had a problem with age until she

joined Renaissance Fair at age 13. The patrons assumed her to be roughly 17 then, and it's only gotten worse since then. Add the fact that she started 13 with a C-cup and has gained a cup size a year since then... * I once had to replace a library card that I had lost. The librarian explained to me that she needed to see some form of identification, and asked for my driver's license. I was thirteen at the time. * My mother once thought she could sneak me into Yoga classes for people 16 and over. I'm 13. I've also been mistaken for ''my father's wife'' about a year ago. * One of the kids who went to my church when he was 8 someone mistook him for 12, to me he looked his age and he certainly didn't act older either. * This Troper was first "Ma'amed" at fourteen, by a boy who she thought was older than her. But she can't blame him, when she was twelve the average guess of her age was 18-21. * [[@/MisterAlways This troper]] was guessed to be much older all thoughhout his childhood. At age 13, somebody guessed him to be 16 - " Yeah, I wish." ( The average 'accepted' age to have sex in my country is 16. Among people of that age, of course - the law says 18.) -, and when he was actually 16, somebody ( A freaking professor at his school, mind you) asked me if I was ''another teacher'' ("... or the janitor?") when I entered his class. I took to shaving my beard after that - not that it helped any. I'm from a family of big men, and this combined with my bulky frame, well, yeah. Worked in my favour more than once, though - " Of course you can sell me a White Light... Can't you see I'm obviously 21?" " Of course sir, sorry." * [[@/{{roflopadous}} This troper]] used to love the carnival games where they'd have to guess your age because she always won huge prizes due to their wrong answers. They usually got about 3-4 years off. She currently is 24 and looks about 16 or 17 depending on the day. * This Troper was 4'2" in Kindergarten. She reached her adult height of 5'4" in seventh grade. She also hit puberty early, and was pretty old by the time she was 11. When she was in fifth grade, at her cousin's graduation, one of his friends and classmates hit on her and ran away terrified when her mother told him how old she was. One of her internet friends, upon first speaking to her on the phone, told her she sounded 25 (at 16). That's when she started raising her voice artificially. Now she's transitioned to [[OlderThanTheyLook Older Than She Looks]], being 22 and mistaken for 16-18. Clearly she hasn't aged since she was 14 or so. How does that work? * This troper's brother is 13 and often gets asked if he'd like a ''beer'' in restaurants. * This troper knows a girl who is 15 but looks like a college student. * This 15 year old troper can pass easily for 18 and has done for a year or two now. This is largely as a result of her height, endowments, and voice, which is pretty low for a girl. When going out, she frequently has to bluff that she is straight edge, as not only does she in fact not like drinking anyway, she doesn't want to risk getting carded. From what her mother has told her, this may have flipped to {{Older Than They Look}} in a decade. * This troper's mother, during her mid-to-late 20s, was still short

enough and sounded like she was still in her teens. This was made evident when she decided she wanted to help out at a convention by working with the First Aid department (or with the food, I forget which), and was told that she couldn't help out unless she had a driver's license. Thankfully, that misunderstanding was cleared up in short order. * When this 15-year-old troper tells people his age, they're usually shocked. Of course, he's rather tall and has facial hair, so this is understandable. * When this troper was 19, some guy on the bus started talking to her and was surprised when she revealed her age. He thought she was 27. * When this troper was 13, an old man he was helping across the street asked him if he had 'just finished [his] A levels?' Although, in his defence, he was 3/4 blind. * It's not a big gap but this troper was thought to be 16 when I was 13-14. I might be the fact that I'm pretty mature and that I'm pretty curvy. A better example was in a picture of my guy friend during the Changing of the Wreath in D.C. (wearing a formal suit during it). People told him that he looked 18 or 21 years old in the picture. He was 13 then. I even think he looks like he's 15-18 when he's only 14. He's really mature for his age and it doesn't help when he has a mustache and refuses to shave it off. * This troper has a friend who's taller than her. She thought she's already thirteen. Until a few days later, it's her 13th birthday! And possibly happened to everyone taller than her. * One of [[@/{{Magus}} this troper's]] friends is a HuskyRusskie who already had a mighty beard freshman year. This troper is six months older than him. * This troper, despite being on the short side and having big, round "moeblob" (as her friends deem them) eyes, has been continually mistaken for about four or five years older than her actual age... more or less ever since she went through puberty, if not before. She's nineteen, yet people's guesses as to her age are typically around the twenty-two to twenty-three mark. * By 8th grade, I had a bit of stubble, and I could usually make people think I was a year or three older than I really was (skipping a few grades helped too). * At one point I started growing a faint moustache and armpit hair, by then I was already quite hairy, tall and deep-voiced for my age. I was twelve. * This troper is 19 years old and has a moustache, of which he is quite proud for no sensible reason. As a result of it and his [[NiceHat black trilby]], he keeps being accosted by people on the street for charity projects requiring one to be 21 or over. * This Troper's story is quickly told. Starting around 8-9, I've been mistaken as my sister's twin, who is actually 2 years older than me. (Both of us had something wrong. I'm a boy, so my sister was thought a boy.) At 11, even with proofs, I wouldn't pass as even 13 years old. At 15, I definitely looked like an adult for most people, albeit a young one (maybe 20) (And the twin stuff didn't work anymore, since she became more feminine and I well, masculine). And ever since I turned 18 (legal majority age), well {{It Got Worse}}. At 18, I would

be thought of 25. At 20, I could pass as 27-28 to most people, or over 30 for Japanese (though in this case, it is [[JustifiedTrope Justified]] because it seems to be frequent). Now, at 24, nobody except those who know my real age from fact would ever guess I'm younger than 30. And if I let myself have a beard, add 5-10 years to all figures given. I easily pass as my father's (55 years old) ''brother''. If it isn't enough, ever since I've been chatting online, I have been consistently thought of being at least 30, if not more. Even when I was 13. If that isn't {{Younger Than They Look}}, what is it. * This troper, 19, has been mistaken to be ''in his thirties''. He's looked that way since he was 15. * Johnson Viandas in Nick The Swing's stories and Evershadow Genesis. YES, he is fifteen. And also yes, he is also 6'2 and has the looks of a man at least 200 pounds of pure muscle. Might be the reason why a ''thirty five year old woman'' posted a comic on deviantart saying she would, in her own words, "fuck him if given the opportunity." [[TheWoobie Given]] [[RapeAsDrama Johnson's]] [[BreakTheCutie past]] [[{{Squick}} both Nick and I entered an]] UnstoppableRage. * This troper , of 19, acts more mature than most students his age, as well as being of prodigious height and sensible attire. He was getting along wonderfully with a fellow student, who appeared to be the same age, until it came up that she was a postgrad doing my course for the extra prestige, and effectively left secondary school at about the time this troper started. Yet we both thought the other was the same age as ourselves. Cue major embarrassment on both sides as this troper thinks "Oh crud, she's way out of my league!" and from the expression on her face, she thinks "Oh crud, I was nearly a pedo!". She has avoided this troper since... * This troper gets asked if she wants to sit at the bar a lot at resturaunts. She is fifteen, which is not so bad, but the first time it happened she was eleven. * [[@/{{Hrdcrnwo}} This troper]] once got mistaken for 25 when I'm really only 17. Having a full beard probably helps. * [[@/{{B Alasdair}} This troper]] met a guy over the weekend who (having not seen him before) I assumed was the sixteen year old middle son of some family friends. Having talked to him for a while, I was certain of it. I later found out he was the [[spoiler:twelve year old youngest son]] of said family friends. No amount of [[{{BrainBleach}} soul scrubbing]] can make up for thinking he was cute. * This Troper Was asked for a driver's license at 13, first offered alcohol at 16, and asked her ''maiden name'' at ''14''. Also, I was once referred to as my (3-years younger) brother's mother, but that was more a slip of the tongue than an actual mistake. (Everyone else in line was parents with teenagers.) It's especially amusing since I started college at 17. "Wait, do we have anyone here who's underage?" "Yeah, I'm seventeen..." I miss being able to say that. * This troper lives in the US, where the drinking age is 21. I've been buying alcohol since I was 17. Not many people think to ask the extremely deep-voiced guy with a goatee for ID. I just turned 21 and got carded once in the past week of drinking. The bartender was shocked I was only 21 since she'd figured me for 26.

* This troper's sister is 14, but she looks older than her (who is almost 18). She recently was hit on by a dude at a theme park who fell victim to this trope. Said dude was 17. [[{{Squick}} My sister went along with it.]] * My older brother would most certainly be confused for my Dad if it weren't for his personality. * I'm not sure how, but I (at age 17) was once mistaken to be an 8 year old's mother. I was shocked speechless and stupid for a minute. * One of the employees at a Cold Stone was asking customers to guess his age. Since I am terrible at guessing ages (I tend to think people are younger than they actually are), I decided to wing it and picked 35. The guy exploded and asked me where the hell I got my answer since he was in his early twenties. His friend was cracking up so hard he gave me a discount. * This teenager Troper gets regularly mistaken as twenty-something by most of the people. Having tattoos, goth clothes and heavy make-up certainly doesn't help it... * This troper- who has never been more than a B cup- was mistaken for 17-18 when she was 11, 21 when she was 14, and has been able to pass as a college student while wearing a college t-shirt/sweatshirt since 14 or 15. (It's leveling out now, though, since she ''will'' be a college student in fall 2010.) Discounting looks, she's had internet friends she's known since she was about 14-15 forget she wasn't in college already. * This troper was mistaken for a high school student during middle school and then a college student during high school. Now that she's in college people actually believe her. * This Sixteen Year Old Male Troper has been accused of being ages seventeen to twenty three. When he started High School, and asking for directions, he was always greeting with confusion. "Dude, you're like a senior? What do you mean you don't know where the class is?" To where this Troper would reply with, "I'm fourteen bro." And would seemingly always receive a loud "BULLSHIT!" in answer. This Most likely has something to do with at that time being six feet tall, two hundred twenty pounds, having a full beard and long shaggy hair. When this Troper shaved he gains years of his life back. By the age of sixteen, the beard is fuller, the hair is longer and shaggier, but weight has been lost and no progress in height has been made. This Troper is constantly being confused for a man in his twenties, and often fear from girls who do know him. This seriously hampers the Chivalrous Pervert's Game. To quote a nurse at the Doctor's Office this troper went to for a polio shot, "What are you doing here with your mom, and why are you seeing us?". To which I replied. "I'm sixteen, I'm not legally an adult, and I don't have a license to drive." Which was greeted with being stared at by ''every nurse'' in the building, and have them scrambling to look at my chart to see my birthdate. Blessed with suck indeed. * This troper, who is 16 years old, 5'11 and has a full mustache, is often mistaken for a college student. The fact that he's had a mustache ''since seventh grade'' doesn't help. ** On the topic of college, the same troper recently got into a college party aimed at '''''18-21 year olds'''''.

* This troper has lived with this for many years. At age 10 I did most of puberty over two months. That includes a foot of height and about 50lbs of weight, body hair and voice change, all over the summer between grade 4 and 5. This would have been less of an issue if I hadn't already been the tallest kid at elementary school before this. Starting grade 5 I was 5'9" and taller than the teaching staff, and often mistaken for a high school student lurking on the grounds. Zip forward a couple years to Starting High School at grade 8, now 6'2" a THIN 200lbs, and getting placed with the seniors who all think I'm grad ing with them (not shaving often when you have to also helps). By age 16, it is assumed by anyone who doesn't know me I'm in early 20's. This Fortunately has slowly edged the other way, Oldest I was ever Guessed to be is 25, and now that I'm on the other side of that age, I have apparently gone to older then they look, which considering the facial hair, means if I ever shave, I will finally start to get I.D.'d. * When this troper was in her later years at high school, she was mistaken for a middle-schooler. She is now nineteen and was mistaken as a thirty-year-old woman once (a fellow passenger on the subway asked where she worked). This troper was also mistaken as the wife of a man old enough to be her father. That last one is more justified though, since it's quite possible for an older man to take a younger wife. * This troper has been mistaken for a 40 year old and has blended seamlessly into a group of people bordering 30 as well. This troper is 18. Needless to say, he's also single. * On this Troper's first day at a new school after a move across the country he was mistaken for a Substitute teacher. He is sixteen, six foot flat, and at the time had shoulder length shaggy hair, and a full beard. * This troper's cousin is 6'2", slightly muscular, and has the start of a mustache -- and he's thirteen. His ''twin'' actually ''looks'' thirteen, which doesn't help their [[SiblingRivalry relationship]] much. ** In my first year of college, I knew a guy in my dorm who could easily pass for a grad student, and was once mistaken for a teacher's aide by one of his own classmates. * This troper had a mustache in the 4th grade. Cue children assuming he's been held back from school 7 times. * I was mistaken for an 18 year old once. I'm 15. * Inverted with this troper. She was walking in her little brother's elementary school on the last day of school to his classroom. Unfortunately, she was stopped by a teacher who told her that she shouldn't be walking in the halls without a hall past even though its the last day of school. I'm in high school. *facepalm* * It's so creepy when this troper gets mistaken for her mom. Really, really creepy. * This troper was in the ninth grade, and once had a hairdresser ask if they were getting ready for their high school graduation. * This troper is 14, 6' something, and has had a full mustache since he was 12. [[spoiler: Puberty really stinks at that age, trust me.]] He's been mistaken for ''21''. Quite an advantage.

* This sixteen year old troper gets this all the time; the most extreme case was when her stepmother introduced herself as a university professor and the person asked "Do you teach there too?" * This eighteen year old troper often gets this, usually in the 22-25 year old range. The most interesting case, however, happened at a local chinese restaurant. I had been going there for the lunch buffet twice a week for at least a month. Then I find out that the restaurant belongs to my friend's family. So me and him go there to eat, and my friend's family were shocked to find out we were classmates. Apparantly they thought I was ''thirty''! Now that was a surprise. I guess it come from the fact that I have a pretty thick mustache. * This troper, 13, is constantly mistaken for being 16 or so. She's also more mature than most people her age, and mostly hangs out with older people. This leads to a lot of situations with her muttering "I'm thirteen." when people ask, and having to laugh awkwardly when they're like "... Oh. You look a lot older." * I get mistaken for 16-18 quite often. I'm 13. I was in a 'summer reading program' at a local library over the summer, and one of the other kids thought I was 16. His jaw practically hit the floor when I told him my true age. In fact, when I started to homeschool, some of our neighbors wondered if I had graduated high school already. It doesn't help that some people confuse me for a {{Bifauxnen}}, especially with my NiceHat, BadassLongcoat, and loads of jewelry [mostly spiked things].... even though I have semi-long hair and [[MostCommonSuperpower a rather obvious bust]]. Not as obvious as most examples of MostCommonSuperpower, but still there and pretty obvious. * This troper was offered wine at a restaurant once. She was 13. * This troper gets mistaken for 2 or 3 years older all the time. I don't even get it! I don't have more (actually I have LESS!) "curve" than other girls my age... I guess my face looks older. * I go to school with a guy who's about 6' 5", has facial hair, dresses like a stereotypical nerd, and is described by some people as "thirty" and "NapoleonDynamite with straight hair" (yes, really). He's a senior in high school. I don't believe he's had to repeat grades or anything if he's in NHS. * This troper came across someone who he thought was 18 or 19 years old. [[spoiler:Turns out that person was 14. Oops.]] * This Troper was 14 when my brother graduated from university. So, me and my family went to the graduation. I exited from the seremony cause I needed to go to the toilet and after a minute or two there comes this professor and asks if I'm looking the auditory cause the lecture of modern psychology is starting. So, I was mistaken as an university student while still being in junior high... * [[Tropers/RedWren This troper]] is generally mistaken for about a year over her age. The memorable one, though, is when I went to be a camp counselor and the kids thought I was twenty-one. Even upperclassmen refused to believe I could ''possibly'' be under 18/19 without my insistence. I was 16. ** ...Okay, being given an alcoholic drink that no one even ordered for her at the age of 15 is also pretty memorable, but doesn't make as good a story. (Legal age 21) * This troper gets hit on by older men all the time and when I

politely tell them I'm seventeen, they blush and quickly back off. I asked one of them about it and he said: "Well... You just got an aura of... *vague hand gestures* ...mature-ness." It didn't help me much. * This troper is only 15, but he has been mistaken for a collage student more than once. The fact that he kinda looks like a chubby {{Bishonen}} helps matters little. ** And multiple times when he was little his sister was mistaken for his mother and vice versa. * When this troper was 13, she passed as 16. When she was 16, she passed as 21. She hated alcohol though so never used this to her advantage. * This troper is 14, but constantly mistaken for a 17 year-old. It's genetic. I once met my cousin who i'm sure was 24 or 25. He was 16. * I was never asked for an ID to enter R rated Movies... My sister took me to see one for the first time when I was 11... Depending on what I'm wearing, I apparently look like an office lady (I just turned 21...) Apparently it is a family thing as my sister also seemed to turn automatically from 10 to 20+ in one year. * I am 23 now and look about the right age, but when I was 13, I was 5'3" and had an impressive hourglass figure and a grown-up looking face. My sister was 22 at the time, and we often got asked which of us was older. I got hit on by so many older guys... to their credit, most of them went dead pale and looked horrified when I said, "Guess what? I'm 13." The few that didn't seem fazed were the ones I knew to avoid. * This troper's next door neighbors daughter is 14, but looks like she's 19 (she's...[[MostCommonSuperpower well endowed]] to say the least. His friend (who actually is 19) is [[{{Lolicon}} dating her]]. They aren't doing anything though...(I hope.) * This troper is 17, but constantly gets mistaken for being in his mid-twenty's. * When I was 11, I had B cup boobs and was quite tall, and people thought I was about 14. At 13, I was mistaken for my baby brother's mom. Now I am 18, people think I am 14 (I was mistaken for 11 when wearing a thick coat that hid my massive breasts)...what happened??? Ive gone from YoungerThanTheyLook to OlderThanTheyLook in just a few years ** Same here, without the boob thing. * My 16 year old brother somehow manages to get mistaken for 18+. He was able to rent ''The Hangover'' without even showing ID and has more then once started smoking in public without drawing any attention to himself (I have no idea where he actually got them since they always card me and it's very obvious I'm legal to buy them). Recently we were at a concert and a drunk/stoned/both Native American asked if he was a virgin (he said no, I have no idea if that's true or not) and said his girlfriend (also under the influence of something and was sure he was a virgin) wanted to change that. ** (same guy as above) I have also had this happen. In high school people thought I was a year older than I was. When I started college a year early (long story, isn't as amazing as it would seem) people were amazed when they found out I was 17 (which came about around election day when I was asked who I was voting for and I told them I was too young to vote). At the same time as the previous thing happened I was

also surprised when another guy said he was 16 (he looked about 19) and a girl (who looked at least 18) said she was also 17 (the 16 year old was the only over-achiever of the 3 under-aged people). * [[Tropers/SpiritOfSahara This troper]] had to explain to librarians at age 15 that I don't have to pay for my late books since it's only required by people over the age of 18. Only a few months after that, a ticket seller tried to charge me student price instead of juvenile price when I tried to buy a commuter card for the semester. I had my hair up in GirlishPigtails and was reading comics. * This Troper have a friend who's 20 now but when he was 15/16,he was 6 foot something and 25-year-old (according to her mother) looking.He always bought some alco for his peers and despite being a pretty nice guy with minor case of ADD,no one would approach him unless they knew him. * This female Troper who turned sixteen very recently sixteen has been mistaken for all kinds of ages. For example, last week I was at my 23year-old brother's apartment playing D&D and there were lots of different people of different ages, because my brother's roommate has a brother of his own who is a senior in high school. One of the guys there (he was 17) asked me how old I was. I said my age, and he said (I'm paraphrasing), "You know, you're actually kind of creepy because you look an adult." Cue laughs from everyone else and my brother being sad that he missed this moment. ** Also my(above troper's) dad suffers from this. He is in his late 50's and is regularly called my grandfather or my mom's dad instead of just being my dad. He's even been called Santa Claus once. * This troper was once mistaken for his sister's dad. He was 17 at the time: she was 15. To be fair, I rarely wear teenage clothing, as it just doesn't suit me. * This troper just started high school, and is taking a couple of sophomore classes to further his education. Due to being tall and having a September birthday, I look like I could be a sophomore. At least one classmate couldn't believe I'm a freshman. My ex-girlfriend said that I sounded like a college student, but that's more likely because I refuse to use text-speak, and have a larger than average vocabulary. * This Troper's algebra teacher is a mild example. He's 25, but he looks to be in his early 30s. * This Troper is six feet tall, rather curvy, 38C, and fifteen years old. I often got mistaken for nineteen when I was nine. Fucking hormones, how do they work? * [[Tropers/DarkstalkerRaoul This Troper]] once went to a school event known as the Lock-in at my High School. One of the adult supervisors asked me my age. I honestly replied that I was a student there, and fifteen at the time. He thought I was ''thirty-five''. Might've been due to the beard I refused to shave off. * This Troper rarely got carded for R-rated movies as a teenager, was able to rent R-rated movies at the video store at age 12 and was able to get alcoholic drinks at age 17. Helps that I can grow facial hair very quickly. (By the way, I'm 20 now.) * [[Tropers/MonkeyPhysics I]] have been carded a total of three times since I first bought alcohol at 16. At 18, I was assumed to be in my

early 30s. Now I'm 22 and people are telling me how brave I am for making the decision to go back to university at my age. Of course, the fact that my hair is fast running out of melanin, turning me into a [[WhiteHairedPrettyBoy White Haired Not-Particularly-Pretty Boy]] doesn't help. * The bus used to try to charge me full adult fare until I pulled out my student ID card. Then I got braces, and suddenly everyone could accurately place me as in high school (even though they still overestimate my grade by a year). However, some people still mistake me for a boy when I wear baggy clothing or they can't see my chest. I don't really care, though. ** It was way worse than that when I was younger. Especially if they couldn't see me, since I have a deep voice and spoke in LittleProfessorDialog for my entire childhood. When I was eleven, one of my mother's friends nicknamed me "the eleven year old with the vocabulary of a thirty seven year old." ** Most recently, I have been worried that I might end up being mistaken for my seventeen-and-a-half years younger half-sister's mother. * This troper constantly looks younger than her age, especially if I wear something casual or cutesy. When I was 15 years old, I went to the cinema with a group of girls who were younger than me. I was the only one who got the children's ticket, and the other girls were given tickets for adults. I deliberately lied about my age when I was 18 to buy a children's ticket at the cinema to save money, and it worked. Also, as a 4th year university student, I was mistaken for one of the newly entered students. * This troper's six foot 1 and a half inches tall and everyone he meets thinks he's either 17, 18, or in the case of a few young children, 21. He's not even turned 16 yet. ** The same troper knows someone who's growing a beard, is slightly taller than him and wears a different tie from the school one. He looks 30. He's been mistaken for a teacher before. He's only 16 and one of the youngest in his year (the year above mine.) * [[{{Tropers/Joerc45}} This troper,]] since his youth {16 at the time, 22 now}, has been mistaken for being his older [[PintsizedPowerhouse sister's]] uncle, his [[OlderThanTheyLook dad's]] dad, and his [[EstrogenBrigadeBait uncle's]] brother. * This troper is 6'3, has facial hair, long black hair and a slightly deep tone of voice. I regularly attend death metal shows, and I get invited to parties/bars a lot, which I have to decline for two reasons: I have no way to get there (I go to these shows the oldfashioned way - getting dropped off by parents), and I'm fifteen. I've literally lost count of the times people have questioned my age. ''This has been going on since I was thirteen years old.'' * [[{{Genki Girl}} This]] [[{{Precocious Crush}} Troper's]] now 13 year old friend. Met her playing Yu-Gi-Oh and I'm shocked this [[{{most common superpower}} hot]] [[{{baby got back}} 18]] year old girl is playing. So the mall is close enough that I walk there with her and not once to the mall or the long walk back anything hints she isn't in the 17-20 range. So her dad texts it's time for her and her brother to go. So before we get close enough to the shop she grabs me

by the collar and decides to give me a going away present. My homeboys coming back from the BK seen what just happened and drop the hammer that I was just making out with a 12 year old. "[[{{Heroic BSOD}} She's 12]]!? 12 years old not 12th grader? [[{{Go Mad from the Revelation}} Oh god no]]!!" Now I'm pretty much [[{{tempting fate}} stuck]] [[{{big brother instinct}} with her]]. * This troper in spades. ** At the age of 11, mistaken for 14. Not so bad, right? [[ItGotWorse It gets worse.]] ** Age of twelve mistaken for 23 by a taxi driver. ** Ages 14-17, I always get mistaken for someone in my mid-twenties. *** A particularly [[TvTropesDrinkingGame egregious]] example is when I went to DisneyLand, Paris, in [[KingdomHearts Axel]] CosPlay. And I was served alcohol. Without a bat of an eyelid. ** The few times I've gone to clubs I have breezed in without an ID. And gotten offered alcohol menues in a supposedly [[{{BeyondTheImpossible}} Muslim Country Where Drinking is Prohibited]]. ** And a more recent example, finally 18 years old, I go to see a friend's drama production. She is only two years younger than me. Cue the lady in the stands sitting next to me asking: -->'''Lady:''' Are you a teacher here? -->'''Me:''' No, I'm just here to watch. -->'''Lady:''' Oh, is your child in this performance? -->'''Me:''' [AWKWARD] No... I'm.. here to see a friend. ** I spent the rest of the night going 'ERK'. * This troper flirted with a guy in a mall who she thought was 18. He had a skin tight shirt on and nice jeans only to learn while she talked to him that he was 16 and a SOPHOMORE in high school. Ouch. * This has happened to this 14-year-old troper twice. She and her family was dropping her brother off at college and she got mistaken for a student there. Then when she was bra shopping she was asked by a middle-aged woman if she worked at the store. Am I really THAT tall? * When this Troper was a Freshman in High School, I was mistaken for a Teacher. About Three Years latter, I was mistaken for my Mother's Husband. * I'm fourteen with [[MarshmallowHell D-cup bosoms]] and I'm 6'6. Wine and kid marriage, whoo-hoo! * This troper was pestered by a bunch of people to register to vote in the 2004 election, I was twelve, and still in middle school (would have turned thirteen the week after, regardless of the fact I was way too young to vote in that election anyway, being a history/politics nerd with a birthday in mid-November sucks). I have since caught up with my looks, I'm 19 and most people think I'm around 19-20. * When I was 14, two American girls who were visiting Mexico asked me if I was in high school. A year later, I went to a college to ask about the careers and the woman attending me clearly thought I was 18. * This troper at 18 has been mistaken for twenty-six at least once.This is likely because I dress like a member of a Southern Rock Band,wear Sunglasses and have a Beard * In a serious ego-boost, about a year after getting braces, this then-16-year-old tropette was mistaken for an adult. Considering that

she's 4'11", not overly gifted in the bosom area, and big-eyed, it was quite a surprise...but that's nothing compared to [[JailBait the reaction of the nice cashier who'd been hitting on her.]] * Although she doesn't get it much anymore, this troper was always mistaken to be much older than her age when she was a kid, because she grew quickly. Her mother will probably never forget, or stop telling people about, the time her ballet teacher told her (then a three year old) how kids younger than her can dance better - ''while pointing at a bunch of six-year-olds.'' * This troper has been hit on by guys over eighteen because of my defined features and more somewhat tall stature for a girl in my country. Worst part, I just turned thirteen. ** When my cousin was eleven, she wore high heels and is quite [[MostCommonSuperpower 'developed']] for her age. She was hit on by a guy who looked twenty-one and smoked. The only reason he left was because he thought I was too creepy... * Several times in my life I've kind of sped up to an equilibrium age and just hung there for awhile. When I was 13 I passed for 19 and remained pretty much the same until then, when I started getting grey hairs. The grey actually vanished by the time I was 21, when I looked 25+. Again I didn't age much, even with the grey coming and going, until I was 30. * This troper her brother is 19 years old. He's been mistaken for somebody in his twenties since he was ''16''. A lot of people are very suprised when they learn our ages, seeing that I'm 20 but am [[OlderThanTheyLook mistaken for a 16-year old]] from time to time. The fact that he's ''at least'' 4 inches taller than me doesn't help matters. * CandyEntrails is 17. His mustache makes him look like...well, he can't get a good estimate. All he knows is that he looks like [[LittleKidLover somebody you should keep away from your children.]] * This troper's family makes jokes about their apparent age (20-30 physically, 50-100 mentally, actually 15), mostly due to SesquipedalianLoquaciousness, [[LittleMissSnarker cynical humor]],a love of coffee, [[WiseBeyondTheirYears and being smarter than their mother]]. ItGotWorse when they had to get glasses, because then people started mistaking them for their mother's sibling. [[BeyondTheImpossible It went to Hell]] when their mother started developing some kind of mental disorder, because then, the stress started affecting their behavior as well. * [[{{Tropers/Luna87}} I]] usually look [[OlderThanTheyLook younger than I]] am to most people, because I never wear makeup and dress very casually. However, one of my managers at the store where I work thought I was in my forties when he first started (I'm 24), though this was mostly due to my SkunkStripe. * At the tender age of 14, I've been mistook for around 16-18, my 30 year old mother's boyfriend, and my 60 year old grandmother's son. It doesn't help that I'm supposedly an [[WiseBeyondTheirYears old soul]]. Then again, said mother and grandmother look 20 and 40 respectively. ---Really now, isn't YoungerThanTheyLook more for the little kiddies than for people your age?


YourApprovalFillsMeWithShame * This Troper actually TOOK ADVANTAGE of this trope in an essay for English. It was an essay against curfews for teenagers and I ended it with "[[NineteenEightyFour Oceania, Eurasia and Eastasia]] would be proud."

YourEyesCanDeceiveYou * This troper attended a martial arts class in which one exercise was to walk around a blindfolded student and focus one's intent on them. The blindfolded students had a tendency to lean away from wherever the [[strike:intent]] sound of their movement was coming from, even if they did not realize it. ** Another exercise involves trying to clip clothespins on a blindfolded person, who tries to bat them away with a foam bat. This troper's teacher, the one blindfolded, did not let anyone clip him. * This Troper had a sparring teacher who would have us fight with our eyes closed, listening for our opponents. As he put it, [[TryingToCatchMeFightingDirty "What if the other guy throws a handful of sand in your face?"]] * This Troper has done blindfolded fencing. The best strategy is usually backing up and waiting for your opponent to fall over. ** Untrue. The best strategy is to wait for a judge to cough and then let a blind fencer turn around and hit the judge. Good times... ----

YourMom * I slipped and told my twin sister this. We joke about this to this day. ** My brother and I used to play a game where we'd trade "Your mom" jokes for as long as possible in the presence of people who knew us. The goal was to keep the retorts coming [[RapidFireComedy right as a comeback]] until I finally popped him. Not because I was offended but because it got pretty annoying when he responded to EVERY FUCKING THING I said with "Your uncle" (that's it, not "Your uncle is ______" just "Your uncle"). * One joke this troper devised when thinking of ideas he'd like to see in a ''Series/DoctorWho'' AbridgedSeries. -->'''Doctor''': We can't afford the stock footage.\\ '''Colonel Mace''': Isn't stock footage really cheap?\\ '''Doctor''': Your mother. * I've got one prepared for a very specific situation, [[LateToThePunchline although the first bit is a bit obscure]]: -->''Guy'': You're a giant pussy! -->''Candy Entrails'': You lie! I don't live between your mother's

legs! I have visited a lot, though. * At Space Camp, one of this troper's teammates was supposed to "go insane" during a simulation, so he screamed and cried for his mother, and ended up opening the airlock in space and killing everybody, all while shouting "Mama! Mama!" So this troper turned to him and went "You know what about your mama? Your mama's so stupid that when it says 'Sign here' on forms, she writes 'Scorpio'!" * The absolute worst and best "Your Mom" joke this troper has ever done: without thinking, he said "Your mom has x" to some girls, who were talking about '''breast cancer''', thus leading to "Your mom has breast cancer." Needless to say, I was mortified, ''especially'' when it turned out that the person with breast cancer said girls were talking about was one of the girls' mother. However, they both laughed as well, saving this troper a very bad day. * This troper loves giving this response with her sister. Just for the obvious inconsistency. We've also been known to say random things like "your gallbladder." * This troper has taken to telling her younger brother [[GratuitousSpanish tus madre]], which, if my middle-school Spanish courses hold true, roughly means, "Y'all's mom." * My cousin has a variant that he uses to end conversations at the point where they start to get stupid. "That's what your mom said last night while I was having sex with her." * This troper has been declared the patron saint of Your Mom jokes, probably because she's so sadistic about them. Seriously, she's kind of infamous for responding to them with "My mom's dead." (She is, but it was years and years ago. People are just catching on that this troper's not offended when she says that.) The best exchange yet: -->This troper: It's time for drawing-on-the-board! -->This troper's friend: It's time for your mom! -->Troper: I would be highly surprised if it were. -->Friend: ...It's time for your zombie mom! -->Troper: Ha. Mombie. ** Well, it's good that you can laugh about it. A friend of mine lost his mother in the last year, and I have a hard time stop telling him "Your mother"-jokes. It makes me feel like an insensitive bastard. * When [[AuntZelda this troper]] was about eight-years old and in a chorus, the girls in the row behind her were telling 'yo mama is so fat' jokes during a break. Being [[TheIngenue young and incredibly naive]], this troper thought that the girls were talking about ''her own mother.'' She asked them to please stop. They didn't. [[LittleMissBadass She turned around and decked the lead girl in the face for - she thought - insulting her mother.]] Even better, she didn't get kicked out of chorus, because the director didn't like the lead girl, who was a trouble maker! (For the record, she felt awful about it afterwards, mostly because she thought she'd get kicked out of chorus, and tearfully explained to her horrified mother why she'd punched another girl IN THE FACE.) * Too many "Your mom is a ___" jokes in this troper's social circle eventually led to "Your mom is a mom!" Also, this troper recently had the following exchange with her brother: -->'''Brother:''' Don't be such a caveman!

-->'''Troper:''' Your mom's a caveman! -->'''Brother:''' ... She's your mother too, you idiot. * While discussing languages at work, someone asked some colleagues from different middle-eastern countries if swearing was understandable between different Arabic dialects. Two said no, the third pointed out that the word for mother was the same in all dialects so they would get the idea. * This troper sometimes raises Your Mom jokes to DaDa levels of crazy, it usually involves taking a random sentence, then taking a random word form this sentence and then just adding 'Your Mom' at the front. -->'''Twin:''' You wish you had a guitar -->'''Self:''' Your Mom's a guitar -->'''Twin:''' ''has long given up using logic with me'' * This troper raised 'your mum' to an art form last year and was able to catch people insanely off guard with it. Then it got predictable, unfortunately. * Similar to some of the above examples, [[Tropers/MegTheMaggot I]] had an example where I used this in what was probably the least appropriate context possible. -->'''Me''': Your mom! -->'''Friend''': Is in the hospital. -->'''Me''': Oh... Oh my god. Is she okay!?!! * This Troper was hanging out with a bunch of his friends and cracking terrible ThatsWhatSheSaid jokes, until one friend said that the most recent ThatsWhatSheSaid joke was "so easy it was almost unethical." Gasping with laughter, I responded "YourMom was so easy it was almost unethical!" * [[Tropers/SabresEdge This Troper]] remembers firing one off several years ago that was just loaded with FridgeLogic. -->'''Me''': How much did you pay that whore to be your mother? -->'''Bystander''': (in between bursts of laughter) ''How does that even make sense?!'' * This troper's English lessons are often entertaining due to a boy in her class who enjoys this trope far too much. -->'''Teacher:''' Today, we're going to be looking at the use of oxymorons in war poetry. Does anybody know what an oxymoron is? -->'''Student:''' (Boy's name here) is an oxyMORON! -->'''Boy:''' (missing the lame pun) Your mum's an oxymoron. ** He will do this with any word in the English language. And some besides that. * [[SouthPark I just went and fudged yo' momma.]] * My mom constantly does yo' momma jokes to me. Fridge logic tends to appear. * [[Tropers/SixTimesNine This Troper]] tries to avert this, using 'your dad' instead (or, y'know, an ''original'' insult). She also knows a guy who uses it in response to everything, which has become the cause of much [[{{Facepalm}} face-on-palm action]]. * Your mom is so fat, when she stepped on a rainbow, it turned into skittles. * This Troper (who is normally TheStoic) once became so fed up with someone who used "Yo Mama" jokes every fifth sentence or so, that when he tried one on her, she gave him her most serious look and said "My

mom's dead." This scared the everloving crap out of him, for she looks pretty dang intimidating for a woman (Note: Her mother is most definitely not dead.) * This troper read a really good one on Sikipedia: "Dear NASA, your mom thought I was big enough! Pluto" * In a situation that I felt it would be too unwise to make this kind of joke, I still replied "Traditionally I should now change the subject to your mother." when someone mentioned an object two meters wide and over a century old. I got away with it. ---Go back to Main/YourMom. * ThatsWhatSheSaid. ** Zing! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YourOtherLeft * This troper was lucky enought to experience a noodle incident best summarized as 'Your left or the Crab's left?'... * Happens to This Troper often enough that its a running joke now. * This Troper's friend is fond of shouting out "Go Left! No, your other left! No, Chinese Left - your down!". This troper wished his friend would reference this quote, but this troper's friend has not. This troper is occasionally angry with his friend. ** Loosely related... while playing the learning-to-fly tutorial in ''[[GrandTheftAuto Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas]]'', this troper has shouted to himself "No, the other up!" ** We hope ''TheSimpsons'' example above has improved your life at least a little. ** Also loosely related: while teaching her younger brother how to drive, this troper found herself yelling at his initial turn-signal failings, "NO, your other left signal! Down! Left is down!" * This troper's family averts this trope while driving by having the navigator sit next to the driver and use "my side" or "your side". It's surprisingly effective. ** ... at least until you move/go on holiday to a country that drives on the other side of the road to what you're used to. That being said, driving in those conditions could bring up a whole slew of other problems. * This troper plays World of Warcraft, and has heard this trope used (and used it herself) many, many times whilst fighting a particular boss at endgame which requires everybody to know their left from their right very well, or everybody dies. This troper recommends post-it notes on the sides of your monitor. ** And even for that, since that boss is Thaddius, it's better to just post-it the + and - to make it even less ambiguous, especially if you run with occasional [=PuG's.=] This troper has often been in the role of a dps or healer who has to give the tank directions for where to

move since they can't see what's coming behind them and on a few bosses can't see anything but dragonintheface (or in the case of druids, a big bear butt). On a recent Malygos run with a tank new to it, she was heard to say, "Ok, move to your right....I said ''your'' right....there we go..." ** [[HomeStuck It keeps happening.]] That boss from Ulduar whose name I don't remember (that guy with the arms) is much worse, since there is actually just one left. Cue the healer facing the other direction... * This troper navigates for this troper's dyslexic mother when on road trips together. This is a statement heard altogether too often when there's not enough light to just flat-out point... (This, and 'your other right.') * [[@/{{Dinru}} This Troper]] never really learned left from right. Seriously. Therefore, this is a phrase I hear often. And yet, I find the [[GratuitousSpanish Spanish]] words, izquierda for left and derecha for right, register a lot quicker. Hm. * This troper manages to avoid this by looking at his hands and putting them in an L shape with the index finger and thumb, the L shape is left, the backwards is right. Sometimes he finds himself subconciously make the L shape even if he knows what direction he needs to go in. ** [[@/{{Azzizzi}} This Troper]] knows exactly what you're talking about! When I was in Boot Camp, one drill instructor demonstrated this to a bunch of recruits who had trouble telling their left from their right. Weeks later, when someone would begin with the preparatory command, "Left..." (pause) "face!" In the pause, several recruits would glance down to see which hand was making the L shape. Until now, I'd never heard of anyone else making this reference. ** This troper isn't even helped by the L-shape thing, because he manages to see an "L" in both hands. His trick is to remember that the directions are in alphabetical order as you'd read them. * This troper had an interesting variation yelled at her while canoeing once. "Backwards! No, your other backwards!" * Tropers/RedWren has a...weird one: she learned her directions with the trick of your left hand forming an L. So, yes, when someone says right, in her head it goes leftright in a very quick and silent version. * This troper had some serious left/right problems when he was a kid. "Military left!" was a warning heard often. * This Troper still keeps mixing up left and right (the words) some times. So he says 'right', when he wants to go left (and knows it actually is left). * This Troper's mother is a terrible navigator. If she's driving, This Troper generally needs to point out directions ahead of time, getting louder and more insistent as the junction passes. If this troper is driving, it often ends up with her being ignored. Most of this is due to differing philosophy; she believes in making turns when lost, this troper believes (and is often right) in continuing on the same path until you see a landmark, find yourself on the map, or find a sign. * As I often have to give directions to my workplace over the telephone, I have taken to saying "correct", "okay", or "yes" when

reciting the litany. Lot of people ''still'' get confused. GPS receivers that give directions are only as good as their databases and this town is never up to date.\\ Subversion: I have the latitude and longitude of the store, and have given those to people instead of directions more than once. That worked perfectly every time. * If you've ever spent any time in / around marching band practice, you ''will'' hear this exact phrase. Numerous times. * Games of Twister with this troper's family usually fail because half of the people playing have to spend five minutes figuring out which limb is which before they can actually move. This toper also has trouble remembering the Japanese words for left and right: hidari just sounds so much more like right, don't you think? * This troper often has to remind herself that she is right handed to get it right- and even then, she manages to mix them up quote often. * While I probably have done this in the past, I have a variation whenever I take direction. If you're really close to a turn, does "Next right" mean the upcoming right or the right after that? * This troper was trying to direct a co-worker's wife to drive him home. It was late. She hadn't slept, apparently. * This troper was made of this trope until he accidentally made a cut on his right pointing finger with a razor at age 6. (long story) Still, don't try this fellow tropers, use the "L-method" described above instead. * I'm a bit dyslexic, so the word "right" and "left" really don't register in my head. In any language. I can work with this, if given enough time, though. I just move my body inside my mental model accordingly, and thus, am actually good at navigating. I'm lucky to be talented in visualizing things in three-dimensional space, otherwise I'd be screwed. ** This troper is not dyslexic, but she still can't tell left and right apart - they somehow register under the generalized heading 'directions' in her head. Last time someone asked her how to get somewhere, she started pointing and hysterically trying to remember which way is right. "Go that way! Ehm... left, no right... no, I mean left! Then right... or..." and then the person gave up. * [[@/{{Unhari}} This Troper]] has a birthmark on his right hand (on the oval shaped bit under the thumb, interestingly, it's oval shaped and in the exact centre). He used this to learn his left from his right, and has continued to do so ever since. It also helps on ships, '''S'''pot for '''S'''tarboard. * This Troper's family has come up with a [[WhosOnFirst Who's On First?]]-esque routine based on this trope and the double meaning of the word "right". * This Troper recalls the following: "Look to your left." He looks left. "No, left!" He turns right. "Your OTHER left!" "Well which way is THAT?!" The other person still refuses to admit her mistake in the matter. * This Troper had a rather interesting experience while playing Assassin's Creed for the first time at a friend's house. He had me climb to the highest point in the game (on top of a cross on the roof of a cathedral). When I got there, he said, "Turn to your left and

jump off; there's a bale of hay below you that will cushion your fall." I said, "Okay," turned, and jumped. He said, "Other left." Cue me dying, and him taking the controller back. * My dad has a tendency to mix up left and right when he's upset. I found this out when I was learning to drive, and was about to drive into a tree. "Turn right. Turn right! Right! RIGHT!!! ...I mean left!" We didn't crash, fortunately. * This troper's friend has a shirt that says, "No, your other stage left". Needless to say, this troper wants one too. ---Go back to YourOtherLeft... no, the ''other'' one. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YourTelevisionHatesYou It's unlikely that your television ''really' hates you in real life (though a suitably ingenious prank could make it happen.) However the nature of perception is such that when you have something on your mind, you're liable to be a lot more aware of anything related, making it feel like the trope. ---Examples: * After discovering that my wife and I wouldn't be able to have children, suddenly it felt like every single commercial featured cute kids and messages about how great being a parent was. ** Why not adopt? Unless "wouldn't be able to have children" includes "so AxCrazy that no adoption center would ever consider us"? * [[StarePris This troper]] has occasionally had the cablebox allow tv on and off but nothing else. He can't turn channels, control volume, check info, or anything. * Two: The first TV this troper remembers her family having ultimately broke so that it ''only'' played the shopping channel. Everything else was static. To this troper (and her brother's) elementary-school selves, this was the end of the world. The other thing is that whenever this troper is sick to her stomach, the TV always shows some sort of food-related commercials. * I have to have satallite TV due to the area I live in (we can't get cable). The problem is that the tv will go out any time the weather changes ANYWHERE. * Our TV is really old, but it works fine whenever anyone but me tries to use it. When I do, it suddenly goes crazy. * This troper's television emits a piercing high-pitched tone occasionally. Without fail, it gives this troper a headache and makes him grumpy and irritable. His mother can't hear it because of the high pitch, so he was convinced it was hearing damage until he discovered that [[PercussiveMaintenance smacking the back of the TV in just the right place and with just the right force makes it STFU]]. * Whenever I'm watching television and just about to eat something (such as watching TV while waiting for dinner to cook) there always

seems to be an ad for a diet or a weight-loss product. Either that or the show I'm watching has a HollywoodPudgy moment (Even more fitting; while not HollywoodThin, I'm not overweight either). These never seem to come on when I'm not hungry. When I am however... I think it's trying to suggest something. ** An even better example happened the other day. After a really busy day, I decided to have a break in front of the TV with a cookie. After I'd taken my first bite, an ad for a weight-loss show came on, involving someone hanging a sign saying "Snack-Free Zone" and the host of the show [[BreakingTheFourthWall pointing to the screen]] and declaring "It's time to get off your backside!". I ended up with the urge to get up and do a 6-mile run after that. * After a wreck that caused [[@/PentiumMMX2 this troper]] to lose his car, he decided to watch HawaiiFiveO to take his mind off of it...and the episode opens up with a guy getting into a wreck. I then began to flip around to find something on, as it seemed that most everything on happened to revolve around a wreck; which lead to me watching some AtopTheFourthWall instead, which worked out a lot better. * More like itunes hates you, but back in college I came to find out a girl I had a crush on, and was working on getting the nerve to ask out, was a lesbian. A little later I put itunes on shuffle mode, and the first song to come on was {{Weezer}}'s "Pink Triangle", which is more or less about the exact same subject. * When this Troper's ex-boyfriend broke up with her, all of a sudden it seemed that every couple on TV was getting engaged or married. You know, just to rub it in a little. Since Main/YourTelevisionHatesYou, turn it off and go back to the main page. <<|TroperTales|>>

YourTomcatIsPregnant * A while back, I got a hermit crab, [[Prototype Alex Mercer]], mostly because I figured I'd never figure out the damn thing's gender, and I thought its namesake was neat. Well, one day, Alex Mercer was crawling up and down my arm, and because he was at danger of falling, I picked him up by the shell to move him some place safer, but it turns out he was less than happy about that, because he began to flail and stretched himself out far enough to let me take a peek at the part of his underbelly normally in the shell. I did a bit of online sleuthing, and got Alex Mercer to flash me again. That's how I found out Alex Mercer was a woman. As for why I named a crustacean the size of a ping pong ball after a cannibalistic sociopath, all I can say is that I'm a strange little girl, and Alex is my dream-pet. * Many years ago, this troper received two female guinea pigs as a birthday present. A few months later, one was visibly pregnant and the other was a proud father. ** This troper used to give gender-neutral names to her guinea pigs due to the difficulty of determining their sex. ** In [[@/RedShoe This Troper]]'s version of the story, they were his

sister's gerbils, and it later turned out that she'd lied to mom about their genders because she wanted to breed them. Unfortunately, they were also brother and sister, so there was a higher than usual incidence of club feet. ** Rabbits. Fortunately we were able to find homes to all of them. *** Same, but with gerbils. ** Same thing happened to this troper.We ended up keeping the mom and one of the supposedly female babies,but it turns out the one we kept was actually a male, and end up with another set of pups. *** Wait... what? **** It's actually not uncommon for rodents to mate with their progeny once said child is 'of age'. It's also not uncommon for dog and cat breeders to mix a parent with a child to get desired traits for a litter. * The opposite (without the pregnancy, obviously) happened to @/GracieLizzie's family. We named a cat after [[BuffyTheVampireSlayer Willow Rosenburg]], who turned out to be a tomcat, but luckily Willow is a fairly gender-neutral name. Not so for the cat from up the street, who is a tomcat called Phoebe. * @/{{Sikon}}: Heh, happened to us too, and again it was a male cat mistaken for a female. * One @/UnknownTroper had a female rabbit named Fred, for that reason. * The @/ManCalledTrue once had a cat named Lazy that the family thought was female until he noticed the rather... obvious equipment. In their defense, Lazy was a very shaggy-haired cat. No renaming was necessary due to his habit of giving his pets descriptive (genderneutral) names. * Never, ever, EVER get your Russian Dwarf hamster a friend. It doesn't matter how lonely she seems. This troper had try to take care of some 30+ descendants of her two 'female' hamsters. * This troper's family once had a rabbit they thought was male and were happy to let play with the male rabbit next door. The actually female rabbit ended up with a lot of babies. * And [[@/InsanityPrelude this troper]] and her family thought their cat Squeak was female for several months, until one day he decided to show off the equipment. * This troper's year old cat had her first litter of one, which her dad declared to be a girl. (And this is a man who wouldn't be squeamish about looking, mind you.) The vet told us when we took both cats to the vet. Luckily, Connie is easily shortened to Con. * This troper heard about a person who was living with his mother, his mother-in-law, his wife and his ''three daughters''. Frustrated, he bought a dog so that he would not be the only male being in the house. See where this is going? * This troper had a co-worker who told her all about her mother-inlaw's ordeal with a pet parrot, which included references to ''him'' laying an egg. The mother-in-law thought for ages that the parrot was a male, and, though she obviously learned otherwise, kept the name, Poncho, and continued to refer to it as a "he". * This troper's brother has a pet snake, named [[MortalKombat Jax]], because we believed it to be a male. Then it started laying eggs... ** This troper brought two bearded dragons, I named the male Colin,

and the female Lisa. 2 weeks later we found that "she" was in fact a "he", when Lisa started to [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean show off the equipment]]. Some days I REALLY wish that I had given them gender neutral names, to avoid people asking why a male animal has a name like Lisa.. * No pregnancy involved, but this troper and her mother were once given a white lop-eared rabbit which was allegedly female. Upon introducing the new rabbit to our other, confirmed female, rabbit, "she" tried to mount the other. Fortunately the bunny hadn't received an official name yet - "Alice" was the current placeholder, hence he was dubbed an Alastair. ** Actually, our three really-definitely-female guinea pigs (no babies after a year) sometimes do a bit of mounting. We gave them genderneutral names just in case, though. ** Female rabbits will mount other rabbits. It's a dominance thing. If you watch, you can see the other rabbit getting REALLY angry about it. * [[@/{{TMOH}} This troper]] has encountered two of these: her grandparents' cat "Caroline" and her neighbor's cat "Ariel" both turned out to be males. (They both kept the feminine monikers.) ** Actually, [[http://www.behindthename.com/name/ariel Ariel]] was an exclusively masculine name until [[GenderBlenderName The Little Mermaid]] came out (Ariele/Arielle being the female variant) * This troper's mother once had a long-haired cat named Purina, which actually turned out to be male, for the reverse of this trope. * This troper's aunt never really owned a dog but ended up having to raise a pit bull from birth (the mother attacked the litter and it was the only one that lived). So they named the dog Zorro. When we knowing more about dogs pointed out that it was missing certain equipment the dog's name was quickly changed to Lola. It's not her fault she just thought the dog was a late bloomer. * This troper has a bird named Elvis, that we assumed to be male until he began laying eggs... * There was no pregnancy involved, but this troper still named her old guinea pig Merja (which is a Finnish variant of Mary) before discovering she was a he. The name stuck anyway. * Bird owners' lives are complicated by the fact that, when there's any difference at ''all'' (and in most parrots, there isn't), a juvenile male's markings are the same as those of the female, juvenile or adult. Added to this the fact that many pet-store birds are sold before their first adult molt, and, well, suffice to say, this troper's pet cockatiel was given a gender-neutral name. (Later confirmed female by way of egg-laying.) ** For those who do want to know if their parrot is Polly or Paulie (especially if it's not of a species that shows any difference between sexes other than vague behavioral cues), DNA blood tests are the way to be sure. ** Just about the only parrot that is obvious about its gender from the moment its feathers start coming in is the Eclectus. Males are green with red underwings, and females are scarlet and blue. The differences are so striking that naturalists once thought that they were two different species. * @/{{Seanette}} has had a couple of experiences like this: in one

case, when she was about six, her family acquired a rather tough tomcat who was named "Attila". "He" got renamed "Matilda" in a hurry when "his" pregnancy became unmistakable. The other instance, a few years ago, involved a ringneck dove who adopted her household. Available evidence, such as how loudly and how much "he" cooed, led to the conclusion the bird was male. "He" was named Avery. Even a vet tech neighbor with dove experience was sure Avery was male, right up until the morning the wreckage of an egg was discovered in "his" cage. She was duly renamed to Ava, and has apparently decided that Seanette, the only other female in the household, is her mate (other household members are a male human and a male cat). * In a very strange coincidence, @/{{Heleentje}}'s aunt's first cat was supposed to be a tomcat, but she wanted to name 'him' Natasha. Natasha did turn out to be female, so the name (retroactively) fit. * This troper's grandmother is in the possession of a male tortoise named Esmerelda for just this reason. This troper has forgotten which of the many owners discovered the error (it's a very, very old tortoise that's outlived many owners, including this troper's grandfather), but it was probably discovered along with its affinity for leather shoes and wheels. * This troper's brother and sister-in-law once adopted a shelter cat named Bo, whom they were assured was a neutered male. Shortly afterward, they noticed Bo was behaving strangely, meowing constantly and rubbing his butt against things. They took him to the vet, who explained Bo was in heat--"he" was a girl, and an unspayed one at that. Since the shelter in question sterilizes all its animals as a matter of policy, we're still not sure how they managed to miss this. ** Another shelter mixup story: a friend of mine adopted a "female" cat and took "her" in for a spay, only to find out (after the poor cat had been shaved for surgery) that ''he'' was already neutered. * This troper has two friends with a bunny rabbit they had planned to name Leilani, in a strange series of events having to do with [[Main/FanNickname basketball and fan nicknames]]. Unfortunately for their cunning plan, the bunny appears to be male. That may not stop them, though. * Happened to this troper's best friend the week after she brought home a new pet hamster; one which the shop had assured her was chubby but decidedly male. * When this troper was a little girl, her parents bought two rabbits and were assured that they were both male and there was absolutely no possibilty of baby rabbits. One of the rabbits gave birth to a litter of stillborn babies a couple of months later. But the really weird thing was, we put the rabbits in separate cages after we deduced the female was pregnant- only to have her turn up pregnant a ''second time'' with no opportunity for them to have copulated again. We were fairly certain it wasn't an immaculate conception, so we made inquiries, and it turns out rabbits can concieve ''multiple times on one intercourse.'' I am so not making this up. The second litter of babies was very healthy. * This troper had a fish named Edd (and one named Ed and another named Eddy). She renamed it Edna after it had babies. * A friend of [[@/{{Orihime}} This Troper]] and her boyfriend had this

happen to her cat, whom they first though of as female. It turned out kitty was a boy. * This troper's family was very sad when our kitten Luella got hit by a car. But we couldn't help but laugh when the vet told us Luella was actually a Lou. * Inverted: This editor had a male cat named Molly. The rest of his family tried to rename him "Mauley" after TheReveal, but it didn't take. * This troper's family had a cat named Pancho. "He" was attacked by a dog and taken to the vet. Pancho survived, but the kittens weren't so lucky... * "Zeke" turned out to be a female cat. She actually ''couldn't'' get pregnant for some reason, but helped nurse her nieces and nephews (and probably some half-siblings as well, considering that mother cat Gypsy seemed to ''always'' be pregnant...) Later, this was gender-inverted with a male cat called Elsa. * [[@/{{Kriegsmesser}} This troper]] is glad he's a dog person. ** Uh...dogs aren't a OneGenderRace...unless you mean that your 'male' dog had a lot of puppies? *** Dogs are much, ''much'' easier to determine the gender for than most house pets. *** The dangly parts ''dangle''. *** [[HarveyBirdmanAttorneyAtLaw Haha!]] ''[[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin "Dangly ]] [[DoubleEntendre parts".]]'' * This troper bought a hamster at the pet store and was told it was a male. She examined it at home and noticed it had, erm, girlyparts instead. Said hamster apparently was in the males' cage for a while and ended up with two tiny hamster babies, born in this troper's cage a few days after the purchase. Quite surprising, to say the least, they were slightly larger than your average jelly bean, pink, slightly see-through, and blind. Once their eyes opened and they got hair they were extremely cute. ** This troper had the same experience as a child, except that we didn't discover our allegedly male hamster was a girl until she gave birth. This was really exciting...except that the next day, while troper was at school, Mama Hamster ate the babies. Ewww. * This troper's sister once had a budgie called Putte, who turned out to be female. This troper still has trouble thinking of that name as masculine. * There's a legend that a Swedish cavalry horse called Marius was renamed Sulla after it turned out to be a mare. Marius and Sulla were both Roman states''men''. ** ...How was there even any confusion? Stallions are extraordinarily obvious. * This troper's brother adopted a stray kitten which he assumed was female. After a visit to the vet revealed the kitten's true gender, he kept its original (fortunately, gender-neutral) name, "Token." ** [[TokenMinority Was the kitten black?]] * This troper's pastor got a cockatoo and named her Rosita. After a DNA test revealed that the cockatoo was, in fact, male, he renamed Rosita Carlito and named his dog (for which gender is much easier to determine) Rosie.

* This troper and her brother once owned two gerbils. We were told they were both female, so he named his "Kim" and mine was "Lola". Well, one day, we found a litter in the cage. We thought at first that "Lola" was the female, so we took "Kim" out. Babies died. For space reasons, we moved the two back into the cage, and...another litter. This time, my little brown was known to be the father, so "Lola" became "Lonnie" for the rest of his life. ** Ray Davies would be proud. ** This troper fails to grasp how gerbils can't be told apart. On the other hand, this troper has cared for over 30 gerbils. * This troper's Friend bought two male guinea pigs. A week later, they both gave birth. Then TT's friends gave two neutered male pigs to this troper. A month later, one gave birth. ** this troper heard a similar story from a friend they made on IRC. this friend had been given a cat and they brought it to the vet and got it castrated. several months later it got out of the house and after a few days came back on it's own, and then a while latter the cat had a litter of kittens. it was confirmed to be the same cat (it had distinctive marks and a collar with ID), it just happened to be a hermaphrodite kitty and after the kittens were weaned they got momma kitty spayed. * This troper has three neighborhood cats who like to wander through her back yard, all assumed to be male-- named [[OscarWilde Oscar]], [[TheFrenchRevolution Max (short for Maximilien)]] and... Brownie. Later, we found out Max's real name was 'Precious' or somesuch-- only when she had kittens and we suddenly had a bunch of little girls running around our yard looking for them. Fun times. (We didn't even get to name the kittens proper names, either. I at least really hope Maxine had the good taste to leave the yard for her romantic partners rather than embark on some truly {{squick}}ful real person pairing... * This troper has declared female by the doctor before birth. As a result most of my baby cloths had to be returned. * This troper's grandmother named one of her cats Angie because she thought it was a girl. She eventually discovered the kitten was male, but the name stuck. * This troper once received a bunch of hens from a friend. After seeing one of them drink similarly to [[http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=m4gHNMECx1M "Fabbio"'s]] laugh, we named it after him. Turned out it was accurate, as we found out one noisy morning. * All that needs saying is that a stray named Hermes swiftly became Hermione after she got close enough to be cuddled and not freak out. * This troper's dad had a dog that the entire family thought was male...until it had puppies. From Duke to Dukette. And we also discovered that my hamsters were NOT two boys (although no names were changed), but then, who hasn't had that happen? ** How exactly do you get a dog's gender wrong? They're not like cats who have everything inside, all you need to do is have a look while they're lying on their backs.That said, plenty of people thought my late dog was a girl but that was probably because he was [[DudeLooksLikeALady very pretty for a boy]]. *** I'm left wondering that myself about cats as they '''do not'''

[[http://www.whitebearanimalhospital.com/faqs/answers/17.MaleFem.htm "have everything inside"]]. Only monotremes, elephants, and marine mammals have that dubious privilege AFAIK. No doubt, though, that cats get very annoyed when you investigate their rear so the fear of [[CatsAreMean getting horribly maimed]] while trying to sex one may play a part in this affair. **** They're still a lot less obvious then dogs,whose gender can be determined from a distance. *** I've had plenty of people assume my dog is male, probably because she's pretty big. Though I can't imagine a dog's owner not noticing a rather large set of genitals. * This troper's aunt and uncle had a cat named George, that turned out to be female. They kept the original name, which led to much confusion. * This troper's friend had a cat whose sex she didn't know, until her mom told her the cat was a male. This troper had grown up on a farm so had lots of experience with that kind of thing, and told her friend that it was a female. No one believed this troper until the cat got pregnant. * Inverted: This troper once read a story submitted to ''Cat Fancy'' magazine about a woman who adopted a calico cat and presumed it was female, as she had been told that calicos are always female. "Calico Sue" turned out to be that one-in-1,000 calico ''male'' which survives to adulthood. ** Actually, [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calico_cat#Genetics_of_calico_cats male calicoes]] are possible, but a fertile one is not. They have XXY sex chromosomes, equivalent to a human with [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klinefelter%27s_syndrome Klinefelter's Syndrome]]. * This troper's sister was once given a pet bird, who was named Max. Guess who started laying eggs. * When this troper's mom and aunts were girls, they had a cat named Prince Charming. They came home from church one day to find Prince Charming nursing a newborn kitten. To be fair, Princess was a longhaired cat, so it would have taken some detailed checking to find the truth. * Once this troper and his siblings received three kittens two light gray ones with tiger stripes and a fluffy gray and white one we thought the two tiger striped ones were male and the fluffy one was female, but after they had grown up one of the tiger striped ones had gotten pregnant by another farm cat and we soon figured out that they were the opposite genders we thought they were. * This troper acquired her first rat from a friend of her sister's who thought her pets were both male; given the, well, ''ostentation'' of male rat anatomy, how the mistake was made is a mystery. ** The same thing happened to this troper when she and her siblings got a few rats. The sad thing was, it took two weeks and a four-yearold's observation to realize that 'Zombie Ed' was the only girl in the group. Never found out from the new owner if she had babies or not. * This troper acquired a pair of cockatiels from an acquaintance, and was assured that they were male and female. The "male" (originally

named Speckles, but ending up with the equally-unisex name Crackers after I told my mom we couldn't keep calling it Crackbaby) started laying eggs a short time afterward. We soon attached "Miss" to her name. * This troper acquired a trio of hamsters from a pet store. They were sold to me as all female. Having raised hamsters for years, I'm a little more adept at spotting the "equipment", so I wasn't too surprised to discover that one of the females was a boy. Bear-Bear, as he was soon named, must've had the time of his life in that tank of females. * This troper acquired a pair of cockatiels and a ring-neck parakeet (which is a highly misleading name for the species) from an acquaintance of her niece. I am pretty sure the ring-neck is a girl, although the previous owners named her Tommy. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop on the 'tiels. * Pet stores are notoriously inept at spotting obvious signs, mainly because a good portion of employees won't sex the animals themselves unless prompted. Instead, they trust the companies that ship the animals to them. The problem with that is, a good portion of the time, the people who work for those companies don't know what to look for either. This troper (who worked at a Petco) used to regularly curse the company who shipped the mice, as they had an annoying habit of mixing up males and females. (I also would curse weekend associates for not paying attention. I came in one Monday to discover a pregnant mouse who, by the time I saw her, was at least a foot wide. How can someone miss ''that''?) * Possible InvertedTrope example: [[@/{{Dukia}} This troper]] took in a stray kitten late last November who was somewhere between 1-2 months old, which would make the kitten, as of today's date (May 2 2009), 5-6 months old. Priscilla (the kitten) looks and acts outwardly female, and at least ''appears'' to have the genitalia of a female cat; however, she hasn't yet gone into heat (though she has not, to our knowledge, been spayed, and appears to have been born a feral). Because of this, this troper speculates that Priscilla may in fact be male. ** Give her a few months (or just take her to the vet to be fixed!). Six months is about "puberty" age in a cat, so she's probably just about to the age to start heat cycles. * [[@/MobileLeprechaun This troper]], when she was very young, had a cat named Larry. One day, we took Larry to the vet to get "him" neutered, and found out that Larry was a girl! We still called her "Larry" though, as it had kind of stuck before we found out her actual gender. Yep, we had a female cat named Larry. * How about a female rat named Ralph? "He" was named after the protagonist of Beverly Cleary's books ''The Mouse and the Motorcycle'' and ''Runaway Ralph''. By the time Ralph's actual gender was discovered, she'd been Ralph for so long, it didn't feel right to change her name. Neither could we think of a partial change which didn't seem hopelessly awkward: what, "Ralphina"? Noooo... (Getting a rat was a last-minute decision: after being told--relative to mice-that rats are more intelligent, personable and inclined to "get to know you." Which is true: Ralph was affectionate and displayed

definite personality, preferences etc. No matter how long you've had a mouse, it'll remain skittish & inclined to relieve itself at "random" intervals but especially if you try to play with it.) * This troper's father kept a parrot he named Frank. The kicker? This was an Eclectus parrot, and it is ''very'' easy to determine their gender. Frances was red and blue. * this troper has a friend relate to them once the story of a pet cat they use to have. the pet cat was decidedly male and they brought him to the vet to get him castrated. about half a year later the cat managed to zoom out of the house as someone was leaving. the cat came back later and it definitely was the same cat as the markings were the same and it was wearing the same collar. the only thing is, the cat came back PREGNANT. turns out it was a rare fertile hermaphrodite. they get the cat spayed after the kittens were weaned and sent off to their new families. * When this troper was around six or so, she got two pet mice and asked for two girls, and she named them Jenny and Mary. Jenny got pregnant and after the pink little baby mice were born, Mary got a name change to James, since she apparently was a he (since the other mouse was the pregnant one). We actually had quite a few baby mice from those two, and oddly enough, Jenny lived the longest of all my pet mice despite being one of the first two. * This troper's uncle had a cat who he originally thought was male, so he named "him" Fred. Not too long later, Fred was revealed to be a girl. The name stuck, though my great-grandmother insisted that she be called "Freda" instead of Fred. * This troper's friend rescued a feral cat and named it Mia, brought it into the vet, only to find out Mia was a boy. She kept the name, because cats could care less what you call them anyway. * I once worked at a school biology lab where they would bring in mice for experiments. Of course as time passed we lost track of which mice were supposed to go into which cages and two pairs in particular got ''very'' friendly with each other. Jokes about lesbian mice were made...then two litters of baby mice were born. Whoops. * This feline at heart troper actually has a pet cat called Chalice that I thought was a male. Turns out he was actually a SHE. I had to rename her Diamond. ** How is Chalice a masculine name? (Especially compared to Diamond, which has developed into a pretty feminine-leaning GenderBlenderName, when it is a name.) * Happened quite a lot to this troper. ** When her mother and her went out to buy guppies, we picked only the males. You can tell the males by the giant, pretty tails, right? WRONG. We wound up with almost seven generations of guppy before they all died off of old age. *** As far this other troper knows, [[GenderBender guppies are able to change their gender...]] ** A feral cat outside had kittens. No big, we got all the females spayed and that would be the end of it, right? WRONG! Barricade, a seemingly male cat, had kittens. Thre of them. (You'll be hapy to know that barricade is not spayed, and her kittens live inside untill such a time as they too are spayed.)

** Don't get me started on mice. * This troper's neighboor got two Guinea Pigs from the same litter that were "definatly" both male. Cue the ten baby litter. But I guess the siblings had the "crazy" gene, because the babies ended up killing their mother. * This troper had a pair of gerbils as a teenager. I got them young, so they both looked female. One was brown, while the other was albino and obviously the runt of the litter. When the brown one's male parts developed I initially thought he was sick. Once I figured out his gender, I was initially relieved, but then I started getting nervous again about what I would do if they had pups. Then the runt developed. I kept their female names because my grandmother lived with us at the time and I did not need a quarter of my extended family to hear about my inability to sex a gerbil. * Another no-pregnancy-involved example: This troper's family occasionally fosters puppies for the Humane Society. One time, we had two little Lab mixes, who we assumed were both boys. Then, one day, when my sister and I were letting the neighbors' grandson hold them, my sister noticed something ''odd'' about one puppy's privates... * As a child, this troper was close friends with a girl who had a guinea pig named Ashley and two cats. When she acquired another kitten, she decided she had too many pets and let this troper's family take Ashley. We took Ashley to the vet to make sure all was well with our new furry friend, and they told us Ashley was in fact a male. The name stuck, because we were told that males could be named Ashley, but this was unfortunately after we had bought him a pink cage and plastic igloo. * This troper's neighbours put their young cat, Louise, on the pill to avoid unwanted pregnancy. Only two years later did they realize, while petting her, that Louise had some... sort of package down there. He's been renamed Louison, but perhaps as a consequence of taking the pill, is still only half as big as his male twin (this troper's cat). * This troper's brother's "tomcat", Casper, was renamed Cassie after it became obvious that she was pregnant. This troper also recalls spending ages trying to figure out the genders of her guinea pigs when she was young. They didn't seem to like it much, for some strange reason... * This troper got a baby turtle. She referred to it as "he". The vet declared it female, though it's hard to tell with small turtles (but it had no signs of growing the long claws of the males). Surprise, surprise, its claws grew and the turtle...flashed its owner. Needless to say, it was a he all along. * A non-domestic example: This troper was at an animal reserve-typeplace in Costa Rica with a large group of other tourists. In one of the cages was a large puma, and one of the people in the group commented "Is she pregnant?" The guide replied "No, he's just fat." * [[@/{{Heatherly}} This troper]]'s cat, Spike, became a proud mother of four kittens after sixteen months of presumed maleness. * There was once an orange cat in this troper's neighborhood. I had heard that all orange cats were male, so the cat was named Alexander. Later, I discovered that the cat was, in fact, a female, and that it was just about 60% of orange cats that were male, not all of them. I

now call the cat Alex. * Years ago, as little kids, this troper and her sister got pet mice. Two girls, named Cutie and Angela. My Angela was certainly female, but when I held my sister's Cutie for the first time, I noticed there was a little more parts to 'her' than what were on Angela. A month later, seven little pink baby mice were born. Unfortunatley Angela was eaten by the cat. Half of the baby mice were killed by Cutis, and the rest died shortly after. Hopefully, my recent mice will fare much better, two females, Riza and Rebecca, one of whom (Riza) was impregnated while at the pet store. ** Was Riza's mate named [[FullmetalAlchemist Roy]], by any chance? * This Troper's mother grew up with Brutus, who retained the same name even after producing kittens. And this troper's aunt had an inverted version - she keeps hens, and at one point named a chick before it got big enough to tell what sex it was. The poor thing was eaten by a fox in the end. RIP, Petal the Gender-Confused Rooster. * [[@/CopycatZero This troper]] didn't find out one of his cats was female from an unforeseen pregnancy, but rather when he took the cat to be fixed. The breeder had promised a male kitten... Strangely enough, it was [[AlwaysMale an orange tabby]], too... * A long time ago This Troper got a pet mouse. Her Biology teacher said the mouse was male. Her friend decided the mouse needed some company and gave this Troper another male mouse. Soon after that the first mouse got pregnant. When the baby mice were old enough, this Troper decided to give them (and their father) away to a pet store, except for one female mouse to keep the first mouse company. The guy at the shop picked a 'female' mouse for this Troper. After a while mommy mouse had some more babies. * This troper's mother had a lovebird named Peaches. The guy at the pet store had assured her that this bird was absolutely female. Fast forward to a few years later, when this troper helped move Peaches into the same cage as a female cockatiel named Topper. One day, while this troper was in the bathroom, she heard strange noises coming from the birdcage. THOSE kind of noises. Not too long after, the cockatiel laid a clutch of eggs and the one egg that did hatch had a rather interesting little hybrid birdie that looked like a cross between a lovebird and a cockatiel. Turns out Peaches was Mr. Peaches. * We once took in what we thought was a stray pregnant cat, and kept it in our house for a few days cause we thought it was damn close to having kittens. Well a few lamppost Missing posters soon disposed all those assumptions, turns out it was just a really fat neutered male. It was around this same time we learned, that we sucked at telling hamsters gender, cause the one hamster my sister got from a friend turned out to be already pregnant, and we thought we had separated the kids by gender after they got old enough, well one more litter after, we learned different. Also, fun fact, hamsters can get pregnant again a few hours after giving birth...seems we didn't get those two into separate cages fast enough. * This troper's sister, a vet, once had to neuter AND spay a cat that turned out to be a hermaphrodite. I forget which gender the owner thought it was originally. * At my cat's first checkup (well, one cat out of five), the vet gave

the news rather humorously: "Oops, Stella's a Stanley!" * One of the most bizarre examples I've ever experienced...upon finding a stray, fluffy, black cat at the end of our road (we did not look back there, initially, and even when we did it was a LOT of fur), we had decided that it was a female and so I nicknamed it "Saaski". When he was handled and cuddled more, I accidentally shifted my hand under his tail, and in a stunning moment blurted out "This is no female! Feel the pom-poms on this boy!" ...Saaski, now renamed Charlie Murphy, was just fine. Until he started having bladder problems, that is. Now, he's neutered, and essentially got the cat equivalent of a sex change to fix his urethra (No. Really.). Is it possible for a cat to even get gender confusion? * Happened to this troper with her first pet cat, who was named Jinx (fortunately, a rather gender-neutral name). It took a vet to tell her family that their beloved little 'girl' was actually a little boy. * this troper once got a kitten that she named Jimmy; turns out it was a Jenny, and we got another generation of kittens ([[EverythingsCuterWithKittens not that I was complaining]]) * Played straight with my sister's cats and my friend's rabbits, subverted by my rabbits. ** Sister: brought a cat we dubbed "Bell", as we were all fairly certain it was a she. As Bell was lonely, she also bought another cat named Muffin, again, we were all fairly certain muffin was a girl...thenn muffin got pregnant... ** Friend: A friend of mine told me the story how she walked out of the pet shop with 2 "Brothers", and ended up with 6 little bunnies. And got a lifetime supply of rabbit food out of it. ** Me: My rabbits are most definatly male, brother's, and have lived together for five years, the last two under my care. Doesn't stop the bigger one from permanently mounting his brother though. * This troper obtained, from a rescue agency, two 10-week-old kittens that were listed as sisters. I named them [[CSICrimeSceneInvestigation Catherine and Grissom]], figuring that "Grissom" was gender-neutral. At their first vet visit a week later, the vet broke the news that the kittens weren't sisters, they were actually brothers. I decided that changing Catherine's name would be more trouble than it was worth, and after three years, I now have a hard time not seeing "Catherine" as gender-neutral, too. * When this troper and her friend were 10 and 11 years old, we caught a spider with a leg span of about four inches. Being fascinated by all things creepy and gross, we kept it in a little plastic fish tank and lovingly named 'him' [[HarryPotter Aragog]]. Four months after finding our little tarantula-wannabe, 'he' had babies. Thousands of babies. We promptly renamed her [[TheLordOfTheRings Shelob]], but then we had to let her go. * This troper got two hamsters when he was about 7 or 8; a large aggressive brown one we named Bernard and a white calm, peaceful one we named Bianca, after TheRescuers. Needless to say, they would fight a lot, and Bianca died a few weeks later. My whole family was crushed, until we saw "Bernard" kept getting fatter no matter how much or how little "he" ate, until a couple weeks later...yeah. We sold most of the babies to a local pet store, we kept one which we named Junior.

Oh, and we never changed Bernard's name, though we did sometimes call her Bernandina afterwards... * [[Tropers/IronicMouse This troper]] had the [[InvertedTrope inverse]] happen on two separate occasions. There was no pregnancy involved, however. ** We found an abandoned kitten in a cornfield and named her Siam, since she had blue eyes. Then, when the vet came out to do a check up on our alpaca herd, she informed that Siam was a boy. He was then renamed Sam and is one of the sweetest cats you'll ever meet. ** Then, about a year later, we found another kitten in our rosebush, named her Isabel, and the process repeated. We changed his name to Seb (taking the middle syllable of Isabel), and he too is a very affectionate cat. He and Sam are the best of friends. * Many years ago, close to a decade, this troper received a pet cat from his aunt for his birthday that he named "Ash" because he assumed it was male. A few months later, he realized that "Ash" was in fact a girl when she got pregnant. * A few months ago a stray calico wandered over to [[Tropers/EarthboundGod our]] neighbors' house. The neighbors named it Kit-Kat, and when they asked us what the gender was we were confident that it was male since it had the [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean appropriate parts]], even though it is stated that calico cats are ''always'' female, no exceptions. A few weeks later we get a phone call stating that Kit-Kat was pregnant. This sent this troper and her sister into stuttering messes because it ''couldn't be possible''. Sure enough, in just a few days a very content mama cat was laying down with her three kittens and we just accepted that 'he' was a female, even though it still had [[SquIck BALLS]]. * This troper and her brother used to rescue turtles from the side of the road as children, and kept them as pets. After a while, this troper noticed a bunch of "funny white balls" in the aquarium and only realized they were eggs after accidentally smashing them. Suffice to say, after that we realized that [[TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles Leonardo]] was a girl. And on a non-pregnancy related note, this troper has a female cat named "Tobi" (short for Tobias). The reason? When adopting the kitten, we were told that she was a he and didn't double-check until we were home and the name had already been added to the vet forms. The cat doesn't seem to mind, but does believe she's a dog. * This troper's family owns a pair of Bronze Mannikin finches, Fig and Ginger. We assumed they were both male, since the pet store informed us that all birds for sale were male. Of course, several months later, one starts sitting at the bottom of the cage and fluffing his feathers, which is standard sick bird behavior. The next morning, there's a small white egg. We still call them Fig and Ginger, but calling them girls instead of boys is tricky to remember since we're all so used to it. * [[@/{{Grimalkin}} This Troper]] had a Mickey Mouse Platy with one fin named Debbie. Debbie turned out to be a guy. We didn't change his name. * a friend of mine had gotten himself a kitten a year or two ago and called "her" Lilli, because the breeder told him it was male. When he

brought her to the vet, he claimed that "Lilly" was male, so my friend decided to rename ''him'' into "Tim". Then Tim ran away. He came back soon, but my friend was a bit worried, so he brought him to the vet again, who apologized for about five times, because he figured out Tim was female after all. So Tim became Lilli again. Until Tim hit puberty and started going after the neighbours cat... * [[Tropers/{{Agent0042}} This troper]], about a month and a half ago (January 2011) got a third female guinea pig as a friend for his other two females. He came home about a month and half later to find that a miniature version of the new guinea pig had miraculously appeared in the cage. * [[Tropers/{{Rampage}} This troper]], has not exactly experienced this first-hand, but she knows [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUkpE16b56g a song for your poor sick kitty.]] * No pregnancy involved, but when this troper was looking to adopt a kitten, he saw a pair of siblings, one orange and one black. The sign mentioned the girl was very good at tolerating her energetic brother, which was good, since this troper's roommate had a rambunctious kitten. He poked and played with the black kitten through the cage bars, since the orange one must have been the boy (orange coats are very common on male cats and almost unheard of on females), but when he asked to adopt her, the helper took the orange one out to his surprise. Later, when taking her to the vet, the vet initially assumed she was a boy until she read the chart. * This troper had a cockatiel that she got from a family friend, and we all thought it was a baby boy at first. Then the bird started making a bunch of squawking/laughing noises. We didn't know that those sounds were the mating call of a female cockatiel. Then the cockatiel(which had a gender-neutral name of Twinkles) started getting really aggressive and bitey. One day, while I was doing my homework, I heard my mum saying, "Well now I know why you were acting so weird you laid an egg!" and I looked inside Twinkle's cage... sure enough, she was protecting an infertile egg in the corner. She laid seven eggs within three weeks! * My sister's roommate first found out her cat was female when she took it to a vet to get neutered. Thankfully the two cats in the house that actually ''are'' male were neutered already, and it had a gender neutral name to begin with. * This was quite common when this troper was a kid, though it was actually our vet that kept telling us our female cats were boys. It was entirely our fault when we got confused with a kitten we got more recently, we correctly thought the kitten was male, until our obviously male cat became veeery intrested in 'her', only to discover that he really was a boy when he got even older. * This actually happened with this troper's gender. The doctors said the utrasounds showed her and her twin to be male, despite this fact her aunty insisted there would be a girl. Cue smug aunt when I was a girl. ---Now head on back to YourTomcatIsPregnant for the fictional instances. ----


YouShallNotPass * This troper was playing Risk one time, holding North and South America while another player held all of Africa. Other player tries to invade Brazil from Africa and whittles down the garrison force to one unit, then proceeds to waste seven or eight armies against this one defender thanks to the RandomNumberGod smiling on me. After the first few, I started going, "You shall not pass! You shall not pass!" every time he'd lose yet another roll, and this one little army ended up holding out long enough for him to run out of attackers. (And then reinforcements arrived the next turn.) * Any IB Diploma student knows that this is secretly the mantra of all teachers and paper graders of the unfortunate students. * This troper was once playing dead space 2 multiplayer and while my teammates whre trying to activate something I tried to hold back the necromorphs best I could. * THIS troper actually SAID "You! Shall Not! PASS!" ...to my dog, Zoey. I was blocking the door so she wouldn't go and invade the house of my [[http://www.tributes.com/show/89381680 (late) paternal grandfather, Dr. James E. Tebbel, Sr.]], while me and my family were all the backyard fixing it up so we could sell the house. Of course, Zoey just stared at me, wagging her tail and panting, with the "Is there FOOD??" look on her face. My dad cracked up. I'll bet Grandpa was laughing, too. I am proud to be his grandaughter. ("Tebbel" rhymes with "Pebble". I don't get why EVERYONE gets it wrong! DX) * This troper was a member of a rather geeky high school club about anime and playing Yugioh Cards, and some jerk jocks decided they wanted to bully the kids inside, ForTheEvulz. I stood up in front of the door and told six guys, all with twenty pounds on [[GeniusBruiser me]] "You shall not pass." One of them threw a punch. [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome I caught it]]. After that, they ran away. * This tropette and her bff were on the recieving end of one of these once. We were walking along the track when a bunch of boys linked arms and blocked our path, saying the trope name. [[MomentOfAwesome This tropette simply shoved them apart, walked through the gap with her bff and flipped the boys off.]]

YouShouldHaveDiedInstead * [[MarinaDelGrapes This Troper]] has had it happen to her more than once, particularly when same-age relatives died when she was six and eight-years-old, respectively, and this is one reason why she lives vivaciously. * This troper has been told this by... hmm... just about every person in his life. Ever. From his own family, to his ex-fiance, to people he thought were his Nakama. That could be why he's decided that Humanity is essentially rotten to the core, and hates the world. But more than that, he hates himself for agreeing with them.

** You need a hug :( * This troper has been told this, and probably deserves it, especially since if he hadn't panicked at a critical moment, both he and the guy who died probably would have survived, so... SurvivorGuilt as well.

YouWatchTooMuchX * Truth in Television, a tiny bit: This troper was once role-playing and decided against doing something the GM really urged me into, knowing it would probably be a trap. He answered: ''"You play too much role-playing games."'' ** Actually, many of the guides for [=GMs=] advise them to do this. * This troper has been told this on numerous occasions, on one occasion some jerk in his high school class told him "you watch too much Beetleborgs", his response: "No I DON'T!". Early last summer he read a song parody on Amiright called Leno by Annie Are You Okay and one of the lyrics stated that he watched too much late night tv- the whole parody set off his Beserk Button. * This troper was watching the movie ''Secret Window'' with her friends, and successfully predicting almost every single outcome of events, at which she was told "you read too much" and was therefore forbidden from saying predictions out loud. But, this troper argues, wouldn't it make sense for a plot taken from a short story by a famous horror writer to at least be somewhat enjoyable to the reading crowd, instead of acting like its audience has NeverHeardThatOneBefore? ** This troper saw every plot twist in that movie coming, knew exactly what would happen, found very little of it surprising...but it was still a very, very well done movie. * This troper's friend knows a lot of commercials by every single word. Everyone constantly tell her "you watch too much TV", even this troper, who secretly knows at least half of those commercials by word too. * This troper runs around (playfully) grappling, wrestling, and trying to submit his friends. He's been told he watches waaaay too much UFC. Not only that, but he pays attention to just about every other major mixed martial arts promotion. Yeah, he's obsessed with MMA. * I have been told 'you watch too much Scrubs!' too many times to count. ** While they don't actually say it, whenever this tropers friends mentions something funny from Scrubs and I give them the name of the episode, the season, and context it happened in, they give me a look which can be interpreted as the facial expression for this phrase. * This troper gets told this from time to time in various fields. But he is semi paranoid about the world, comes with knowing a little too much about it. Now, where'd they hide the cheat codes, I wonder? * I have actually been told by an English teacher that read too many books. * "We should check whether the members of our Parliament have small scars on the back of their necks. If they were [[{{Stargate}} Goa'uld]], that would explain a lot of things." has left [[{{Gerusz}} this troper]]'s mouth. The answer was "You watch too much Stargate". * My friends will get in debates about something that happened in

their favorite shows. I always remind them when they get in these fights it just proves my argument that they need to get lives and spend way too much time watching TV. * This troper took predicting horror movies to an art form, not only predicting who would die, but in what order and sometimes even whether they would turn evil beforehand. Having many friends who do the same, we've taking to watching a new horror film once a week and each taking a bet on which character they think will survive (one character each). This tropers characters have never been killed, ever. I get told I watch too many horror movies, it's not true, it's just TVTropesWillRuinYourLife * This troper is waiting for the day he can seriously say to someone "You watch too much porn." ** Just say it, and enjoy the guilt and confusion playing over your victim's face. * This Troper has been told she reads too much and that she sees too many movies. Not to mention the same people telling her that she 'spends too much time on TVTropes.' * A friend of [[HappyFork mine]] often takes his 'knowledge' of things he has no idea about from SouthPark, including the definition of the word "fag" and quite a few Jewish traditions. The only thing keeping me from quoting this trope at him is the memory that I was the same way last year. * This Troper is constantly told "You watch too much anime". It is entirely true, but I see nothing wrong with it. Then there's how I like hentai just a ''little'' too much. * This Troper read a forum that featured "You know you play too much [[Left4Dead Left 4 Dead]] when..." and one of the posts said "You freak out when a car alarm sets off." I'll admit that when an alarm set off down my street, my breath hitched, and I thought 'Oh SHIT' before I realized that a horde wasn't going to maul me. * [[PeripheryDemographic This troper]] watches ''PhineasAndFerb'' on a regular to semi-regular basis (and [[SturgeonsLaw every once in a while]], [[WizardsOfWaverlyPlace the]] [[SoBadItsGood wizard]] [[SoOkayItsAverage show]]), and has the ability just from having seen commercials and walking through the room when episodes are on to explain practically any Disney show (or even episode) the younger sibling is watching. "How do I''know'' this stuff!?" is practically a CatchPhrase for the troper, [[MemeticMutation mutated]] from "Why do I even know this [stuff]?" The troper's younger sister, on the other hand, really ''does'' watch way, way, ''way'' too much DisneyChannel. * I'm often told that I watch way too [[DisneyAnimatedCanon Disney]] movies, and yet the people who tell me this are often the ones who talk about getting engaged or married when they've been only been going out with someone for about a week. * This troper, when encouraging people to think creatively, often says, "you guys spend way too much time in reality". * This Troper gets accused of spending too much time on TV Tropes for his ability to recognise and point out tropes both whilst consuming pop culture and real life. * This troper wrote a Tomb Raider fanfic in which Alex West suggests that the macguffin of the story can be used to control the weather.

Lara Croft replies with "you play too many videogames, Alex". * This Troper is told that she watches WAY too much Western Animation. Her obsession with cartoons has surpassed her obsession with book characters (and she is described as a proud bibliophile.), and her friend, who is an anime fan, is even wigged out. But then again, this troper's slavish devotion to Rule 34 for her fave cartoons may explain that... * This troper is a big fan of the Toy Story trilogy, and frequently quotes it to his friends. His friends all tell him he watches too much Toy Story. * This troper does with whatever I'm into. If I'm into Doctor Who, I watch too much, and then try to act a lot like the Doctor (specifically 11th. Then there was that Batman time, where I essentially I p;lay fought with a lot of friends punching motion but you know..you don't feel it cause it's so light)..then there was James Bond..so played with imaginary guns shooting everybody.Then tehre was another time I read way too much Cracked..specifically the supervillain articles..so..yeah...Though when i'm not into something I get very bored, frustrated, and angry. * Pretty much all this troper knows about romantic relationships comes from anime. The rest of it comes from here. ----Dude, [[YouWatchTooMuchX you read too many troper tales]]. * I know, man.... I know. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

YouWereTryingTooHard * Okay, show of hands. How many of us have found a lost object only ''after'' they stopped looking for it? ** Or better yet, after you've bought a replacement? Or even better, somehow made the lost object ''impossible to use'' once it's found? (Lost a game for my PS2. Console broke down, and my dad forced me to get rid of it. The game showed up a week later.) *** I did. I once dropped my cell phone after getting off the bus, so my mom brought me to get a new one the very next day. Hours after getting it, someone called me, saying they had found it in front of their house, after I had already transferred everything to my new phone... *** [[MonSolo This Troper]] lost the car keys for ''someone else's'' car. After hours of frantic searching, and lost sleep on both her part and the car owner's, she found them not three feet from the car, halfburied in the snow. ** Anyone who's ever played with LEGO knows that you can look for half an hour for that one piece you need right now, and dang it, you must have seen it fifteen times when you didn't need it... * This troper was having an extremely bad run of luck in his gaming habits, getting utterly destroyed in things he used to triumph over with ease and losing almost every single team battle he entered into. This resulted in making me feel worse and worse as time went on and my

defeats seemed more and more certain. Finally I forced myself to just stop caring about winning or being the best... and my performance visibly improved. ** This editor finds that he does better in arcade/racing games (especially ''CrazyTaxi'' and ''{{Tetris}}'') when he's ''not'' paying attention to the score/time. * [[{{Seiryu}} This troper]] once walked home (about a two hour walk) along a set of train tracks, due to his car being in the shop. The next day, he realized that his phone was missing. A frantic search of the backpack, clothes worn that night, tearing apart the house, and ''searching every inch of the ten miles of train tracks'' yielded no result. The phone was in this troper's jacket. ** Something similar happened to this troper. He was at the mall and thought he lost his wallet. He backtracked to every store he went in, asked cashiers if they had seen it, went to the mall security office, with no luck. When he got back home, he found his wallet in the back seat of the car. ** You'll never top this, I spent several minutes trying to find my "lost" car keys, inside my own car. Turns out I never took them out of the ignition when I somehow thought I had. Not so bad you say? THE CAR WAS RUNNING THE WHOLE TIME. * Not sure if this counts, but who else seems to do worse on a test if they study? ** I never study, and I managed to ace all my finals. One time I did study, I got a D. Admitingly though, i still got the best grade. *** That's cause you only study the things you're bad at. And when you're good at most things without studying, you never get good at studying. Personal experience. I'd recommend asking a teacher for study tips and an in-depth explanation of whatever you're having trouble with. ** This happened to me in an Algebra class. First exam, I ran out of time and basically didn't study anything, and I got the highest grade in class (105%). Next exams, I told myself, "ok, that was just a fluke. Don't get into a bad habit of not studying." The scores on the 2nd, 3rd, and final exams (all of which I studied properly for) were 95%, 93%, and 90%, respectively. I gave up and didn't study for my Trigonometry exams (my worst subject), and got over 96% on all of them. * Piano playing. All the time. Especially since I'm supposed to memorize songs (I get chocolate for doing it). I'll bang away at the piano for half an hour, at least, and then give up. The next day I'll decide to try the song from memory again- and it just comes. ** 0dd1: Two similar examples for me. ### I'm an amateur songwriter, and sometimes a song will just come to me. Whenever I try to write a song when I just feel like doing one, however, I have mental blocks the size of the Berlin Wall. ### Then, when I go to try to record a song using my guitar (be it one of my own or a cover), I'll play it through perfectly when I'm just trying it once before I start recording. When I start recording (as in when I'm actually TRYING to play it well), I make too many mistakes to count. * Using chopsticks. I'd been trying to use them for years and could

never quite get it. Then I suddenly did. No good reason I can fathom. * My little brother and I encounter this while playing video games. We usually end up giving up for looking for whatever it is we're looking for, and looking for anything but whatever it is we need. Works every time. ** I have something similar - I'll be stuck on ThatOneBoss or the ScrappyLevel for ''months'', I angrily put the game away for a while, and the next time I play I get past it on the first go. *** That happens so often to my brother and me that it's our go-to strategy when we encounter a difficult part of a game. ** This. This. This. ''Friggin' this''. * This troper once couldn't find her water bottle and looked all over her house for it. It turned out to be in her backpack all the time. * This troper finds that, when he writes computer codes and comes to a but he isn't seeing, the best thing is to turn off the computer and walk away. Normally, he is not out of the building before he realizes why that particular error is coming to him. * Whistling. This troper repeatedly failed to learn to do it intentionally, then a year or so later his father points out that he's successfully whistling. Now I happily annoy the crap out of everyone nearby with a combination of humming and whistling when I'm not talking with anyone. * One troper frequently finds that if a puzzle is frustrating her, she should simply walk away for a few hours (or days). When she comes back, the solution pretty much leaps out. * Every single romantic relationship this troper has ever been in. * When coding, this troper has found that the ease of solving the problem, as well as the solution time when away from the computer has an inverse relationship to amount of time trying to debug the problem. Meaning that, if I spent an hour on some problem and was not getting the solution, the working solution would come to me once I step away from the computer with every intention of calling it a night. This seems to be a problem not just with him, but every coder he knows. * In almost the same vein as the Hercules example, except in BlackAndWhite. [[{{Arca}} This Troper]] ''could not'' knock the rock off the spire using the other rocks that were provided. Period. Eventually he just said "OH TO HELL WITH THIS"; having heard one too many canned lines from the commentator... THREW the commentator at the rock and hit the damned thing dead on. * I really loved a girl, and went after her for about a month, during which my heart was repeatedly broken. I figured I should get over her because nothing's gonna happen between us, and asked another girl out, and on our first date I get a message "I love you and want to be with you. I was wrong." When I ended things with that girl, and tried getting back to her, she changed her mind, and continued toying with me. I've gotten far away from her. * This troper. Story of my freaking life. For the past year or so, I've been perceiving (?) a something, which a part of me is pretty sure is [[LoveBeforeFirstSight female]]. Aaaaanyway, I've been actively searching for her (it? him? pronoun not known to man?) for the whole time. And now I have stopped looking, we are know on conversational terms. [[TalkingInYourDreams sort of]]. Of course, if

this thing is real, there are more possibilities than in [[ThomasPynchon V.]] But, I stopped looking and got closer, and that's what counts. On a tangentally related note, also applies to this troper's sanity. * This troper almost always finds solutions for difficult mental tasks (mostly math, or remembering something obscure (and sometimes remembering where I put the keys/flashdrive/...)) on the toilet or while taking a bath. (Shower works too, but bath is better) * This troper had a long history of no luck whatsoever even interacting - let alone pursuing relationships - with the opposite sex. For most of my adult life this bothered me. Finally I reached a point where I accepted it, and stopped worrying about it. A month later, I met my wife. * Tropers/RedWren was getting bad scores in bowling, and the scoring machine was getting downright abusive. Finally, she just went, "I don't care," and started throwing the ball. Three. Consecutive. Strikes. * [[@/{{Tadaru}} This troper]] finds that if he answers multiplechoice ''keigo'' (Japanese honorifics) questions really quickly, he gets them right. If he thinks about them, he gets them wrong. * This troper's family has a saying: "All you have to do is kvetch." ''Kvetch'' is Yiddish for "complain". It is very common in this troper's household to hear "Hey, where's my--oh, never mind, I found it!" ** Same troper here. The other day I was talking to my mother on my cell phone, and then I touched my pocket, found it to be empty, and freaked out that I had lost my cell phone. While I was talking on it. * It happens to me a lot. It's typical how when I don't need something, it's there right in front of me, yet on the occasion when I ''need'' it, it vanishes. ---Go Back to [[ItsAlwaysMardiGrasInNewOrleans You Were Trying Too Hard]] * Err... [[PeaceThroughSuperiorFirepower Maybe this time?]] ** How about [[IWantGrandkids Now?]] *** [[RageQuit Screw this.]] ---<<|TroperTales|>>

The link back to Main/YouWereTryingTooHard, incidentally, is just right here.

YouWouldntBelieveMeIfIToldYou * [[Tropers/{{Seiryu}} This troper]] does this on a regular basis. For example. -->'''Me:''' I lost my pants twice this week. -->'''Friend''': You...wait. What? -->'''Me''': Nothing sexual, but had to have been there. Trust me. * This is why [[WeirdnessMagnet I don't post most of my ridiculous stories here]].

YuriFan * [[{{Tropers/HG131}} This Troper]]'s [[OneTrueThreesome One True Foursome]] for BuffyTheVampireSlayer is 100% yuri with a dose of sisterly incest (Buffy/Dawn/Willow/Faith). This came about after I relized I supported every possible combination with those 4 and asked myself "Why not all 4 together? It makes sense if you support all of the possible parings". And hence, my [=OT4=] is those 4. Most of my ships in stuff are yuri. I even support cross-franchise yuri ships like Dawn/[[Series/DoctorWho Rose]]. * [[@/{{Kriegsmesser}} This troper]]. He even occasionally writes stories. (For the sake of keeping this site vaguely SFW, links shall not be provided.) * Also [[@/JapaneseTeeth this troper]]. Just look at the list of ships on his contributor page. * You know, I can relate...sort of. I'm fairly effeminate, and quite honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if people meeting me for the first time thought I was gay. I'm not, but I relate to girls so much better than I do to guys that I sometimes wonder if I'm not a lesbian in a male body (which, quite frankly, would be a ''very'' lucky break, because I ''like'' the male body, and since homosexuals are still a minority, I theoretically should get more girls this way.) When it gets right down to it, I probably have just as many het ships that I support as I do yaoi/yuri ships...but I've noticed that I've never written a yaoi ''or'' het lemon. [[OldShame At least, none that anyone else knows of.]] ** Eddie Izzard would consider you a "male tomboy".

*** Works for me. ** There is actually [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guydyke a sexuality for you.]] * [[@/{{Ajardoor}} * Raises his hand.* ]] Yo. ** [[@/AndyWaltfeld * Also raises hand* ]] Likewise. *** [[@/ChosenofMana * fistbump* ]] 'Sup, man? **** [[{{@/TheCleave}} * Waves* ]] Small world all and all, eh? ***** Also, the Contributors/OmegaMetroid! He's just that cool... and he's still [[ThirdPersonPerson talking about himself in the third person]] when he visits this site. ...Although, this trope originally only applied in the case of one series of eroge, and even still, that's at least in part because GirlOnGirlIsHot... Now, it applies much more. But still because GirlOnGirlIsHot. ****** [[@/NielJacoby * Nods head slightly while raising hand* ]] Hell yeah. ******* [[{{@/Iniquitus}} * Ridiculus thumbs-up pose* ]] In the hizzy. ******* [[{{@/ABadDriver}} * Raises hand with head down* ]] Here. ******* [[@/BlakeDiamond *Raises the Wolfpack sign* ]] Guilty as charged. (Now, for an added bonus: Keep your hand up if you're also a YaoiFan. *Keeps hand up, waiting for the others to run away*) ******* [[@/DragonKhorse *waves]] [[{{Keet}} energetically*]] You too? I'd much rather yuri than yaoi, but eh, I'll take either. Oh god, two of my YaoiFangirl friends are cosplaying as [[RuleSixtyThree genderbent versions of]] [[{{Characters/Durarara}} Shizuo and Izaya]]. And since the FoeYay makes them a very popular ship, {{Squee}}! * This lesbian troper is a slight aversion. She loves realistic girl on girl love stories, Yuri, and [[BuffyTheVampireSlayer Willow/Tara]] and [[DykesToWatchOutFor Mo/Sydney]] are her [=OTPs=], but hates the exploitation of lesbians for the pleasure of straight men. She especially despises TheLWord and shows that portray us all as slutty, shallow {{Lipstick Lesbian}}s. ** This other lesbian troper doesn't hugely mind some of the betterwritten but less realistic stories and at times herself reads them (because I like my wish fulfillment), but hates lesbians potrayed as sluts. * [[@/{{Tinweasel}} A certain troper]] has developed a preference for yuri in fictional forms, but not real ones. Probably because all relationships are equally terrible in [[RealLife reality]]. ** Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. *** The @/GirlWithoutHat seconds that. ** Replace 'equally terrible' with 'equally beautiful' and you've got [[ThePollyanna me.]] :D * Do female Yuri fans count? I like yaoi as well, but it's just that unless it's between two very effeminate anime characters (the sort with ViewerGenderConfusion ) it just seems so rough, and weird. * Yuri Fangirl here. Is vaguely straight-ish. ** You're not alone. Hell, my OTP is yuri. ** Yuri Fangirl, but quite bi this time. Yaoi just doesn't make me go "Squee!" in the same way, though *** Hello person similar in nature ** [[@/{{Orihime}} This troper]] likes yuri. And yaoi. Heeeee! =D ** Yaoi is fun...But Yuri is funner,it has more of a cute factor..And

for some reason the stories are better. *** It's because there's so much more innocence and gentility. *** Please, nobody scream at me, but Shotacon has that sort of moe moe-ness in spades, if you're looking for "cute factor" Yaoi. *** I definetly won't scream at you, because I'm on the same wavelength!:D ** [[@/{{Pichu-kun}} I]] wonder why most girls don't like yuri, it's fun. I like yuri..Though, I am [[NoBisexuals pansexual]], but that doesn't mean anything. *** [[@/ThatTroperTheTroper Pansexual Yuri Fangirl]] reporting in. *** I would date a Yuri Fangirl just because trying to turn her on must be hilarious. *** This [[@/{{goodyfun}} Yuri fangirl]] would love to see you try. :D *** Man I would really like to have a YuriFangirl for a girlfriend. Especially because I don't have anyone to talk about yuri with... ** A perfectly heterosexual yuri fangirl over here. Not a yaoi fangirl, surprisingly... ** Yuri Fangirl, of the bi variety. Loves het too, be yaoi does nothing for her. ** [[@/{{TheLobster}} Another yuri fangirl]], chiming in. I don't happen to like yaoi, interestingly enough, but het is fine. I'm also asexual, so there you go. *** o: Friend? I'm very okay with all three (yaoi, yuri, het...threesomes >>) and probably asexual too. As far as I know. *** Hello other friend! (Well Ok, I'm not asexual.) I like them all, and love [[{{Lucky Star}} Konami.]] ** I'm female, bisexual and I consider myself more into yaoi but I'm absolutely addicted to [[{{Batman}} Harley Quinn/Poison Ivy]]. Funnily enough, when I went out with my female best friend for drinks, we ended up kissing (in a non-serious way, I love my girlfriend) and feeling each other up. Turns out her boyfriend and her three male friends are quite the fanboys. ** Bisexual yuri fangirl, reporting for duty. But, of course, she's also het- and yaoi-crazed as well. [[CargoShip She's]] [[FanPreferredCouple just]] [[{{OTP}} an]] [[CrackPairing insane]] [[ShipsThatPassInTheNight shipper]] [[LoveDodecahedron in]] [[{{Starboarding}} general]]. ** [[{{Tropers/Ventisia}} Yet another bi (lean towards girls, though) yuri fangirl.]] Yaoi and yuri, both awesome; I just wish that the ratio of yuri to yaoi fanfiction was a bit higher... D: * Yet [[@/{{Sisperini}} another]] yuri fangirl here. I'm heterosexual, but imagining anime girls being [[RomanticTwoGirlFriendship emotionally intimate]] with each other is just too cute. ** [[@/DarkInsanity13 Amen to that]]. Probably why of all the {{Vocaloid}} songs, Magnet is my favourite (though I do take a [[AudioErotica healthy appreciation]] of the Nico Nico Douga Boys Chorus version). It kinda started as a joke from her Naruto fandom days (saying with other [[PortmanteauCoupleName NaruHina]] shippers that Sakura and Hinata would be better off with each other considering how [[HoYay focused on]] Sasuke Naruto is, and sort of ballooned from there, and I'm definately more comfortable with discussions regarding girl-on-girl than guy-on-guy. I'm more on the fandom/slash side of

things though; I don't really care for series where yuri/RomanticTwoGirlFriendship is the main focus. * Not [[@/SharmHedgehog me]]. Nope, that definitely wasn't me looking at [[{{Naruto}} Tayuya and Temari]] yuri. (shifts eyes) * [[OnePiece Nami and Robin.]] Nuff said. ** More like [[CrackPairing Jewelery Bonney/Perona]]. Am I right? * I, @/{{Somfin}}, admit to being a full-fledged Yuri Fanboy- but, and I'm hoping this is something common, I'm only attracted to yuri that has actual characterisation and romance. You know, with the tentative akwardness and the blushing and the kissing. If it's just lesbian sex I'm not even turned on. Please tell me I'm not alone. ** [[@/DionShmion Ditto]]. Then again, for this one characterization and romance improve all love stories, not just yuri. ** [[@/{{Koveras}} Thirded]]. The points you mention certainly make any romance better, yet GirlsLove always has a ForbiddenFruit element to it (even more so than yaoi IMO, since male homosexuality was much more popularized throughout history), which makes yuri romance especially exciting for me. That, and the ease with which the roles in yuri relationships fluctuate: there's no real {{seme}}s and {{uke}}s in GL, but instead there's a dynamic balance between assertiveness and reliance. If those are present, [[AllMenArePerverts I don't mind hot lesbian sex, though]]... *** Unfortunately, none of this is true about [[SturgeonsLaw bad GL]]. Not that [[@/{{Tinweasel}} this guy]] won't still go for the worthwile ten percent you lot described in a flash. ** [[@/SpiriTsunami Yeah, I hear ya.]] I ship based on what works best, regardless of whether it's het or slash. But I really cherish the yuri more. ** [[@/BlueGenome I agree 100%]]. I also seem to have the same goggles mentioned below, which means I tend to get [[DistractedByTheShiny distracted by the yuri]] ''far'' too often. ** [[@/PhanOfDP333 Nope,]] YouAreNotAlone! I read femslash for the {{shipping}}. * [[JusticeSocietyOfAmerica Power Girl and (pre-Crisis) Huntress]]. Not (just) because they're attractive, but because they have such mutually tragic backstories, and the whole [=Bat/Super=] legacy thing. * [[@/SirPsychoSexy This troper]] is a gay YuriFanboy. Go figure... * This troper is such a huge yuri fangirl. Posting it here as kind of an anon confession... * I'm basically a male version of [[LuckyStar Hiyori]] in that I SIMPLY CANNOT TURN IT OFF, be it ''{{Noir}}'', ''{{Madlax}}'', ''MagicalGirlLyricalNanoha'', ''FutariWaPrettyCure'', ''Series/DoctorWho'', ''TheMakiokaSisters'' (!), or RealLife (!). I also think that a bisexual girlfriend would be ideal because she would have a better chance of squeeing over yuri with me. So yeah... ** Wait, you mean it's possible to watch ''[[MagicalGirlLyricalNanoha Nanoha]]'', ''{{Noir}}'' or ''{{Madlax}}'' '''without''' activating Hiyori-vision? [[@/{{prescience}} This troper]] wonders whether "YuriGoggles" shouldn't be its own trope... * rushes off to YKTTW* ** Actually, yes, it's very possible. I watched all of Nanoha, and I really only started picking on the yuri thing in ''Anime/StrikerS'', and even then only because it became ''so obvious'' (Seriously, Nanoha

and Fate seemed a step away from buying a family house and marrying. They even have the kid already). Never really noticed much of an undertone to ''MGLN'' or ''A's''. I guess my mind is not nearly enough in the gutter. *** Just Nanoha/Fate? And here I was, thinking that Subaru/Teana was the most prominent GL pairing in ''[=StrikerS=]''. AsYouKnow, rainbows are way straighter than Subaru and Tea is all {{tsundere}} over her, so... OK, OK, I'll stop now! * throws YuriGoggles away* ** Btw, even if Yuri Goggles can't be a trope of its own, we can still place it into the TropeCo catalog (like [[TropeCo/YuriGoggles this]]). Anyone here wants to do the write-up? ** What pairing(s) are you seeing in Series/DoctorWho? I thought I had pretty strong goggles, but I've never seen a pairing potential in that... *** Ace and everyone female. *** [[AllBlueEntry And]] [[{{Recap/DoctorWho2011RedNoseDaySpecialSpaceAndTime}} during "Space" and "Time special,]] [[ScrewYourself Amy/Future!Amy.]] ItMakesSenseInContext. [[AwesomenessIsVolatile And would probably]] [[DivideByZero destroy the universe.]] * Bisexual who loves homosexuals here, I even casually announce my searches for yaoi and yuri. * Yuri Fangirl here, with a bi girlfriend. She squees over yaoi rather than yuri, though. * Yuri Fangirl here, and a real-life lesbian too. That seems to be surprisingly rare. ** Me too. *** [[@/QueenOfTheBifauxnen Me three]]. :) **** Me four **** [[@/{{Dentaku}} Me five]]. I think. I'm still a bit confused. **** Me six! We should make a club! **** I'll supply the jackets. **** One more into the club. **** If there's still room, I'd like to join this club. Therefore, me nine. **** [[{{Tropers/ptitlejb2sjmoa}} Count me]] in. * Yuri Fanboy here, but he's gay. This troper simply thinks [[BirdsOfPrey Babs and Dinah]] should live together in a mansion together forever and ever amen. * This troper is kind of an aversion: more like a RomanticTwoGirlFriendship fan than YuriFanboy (example: I'd rather watch CandyBoy instead of ShoujoSect), and on top of that, a straight male that's rather [[{{Squick}} squicked]] by real life lesbians. Am I alone? ** Well, I prefer yuri to RomanticTwoGirlFriendship and would rather watch ShojoSect instead of CandyBoy, as well as being a gay female that's rather [[{{Squick}} squicked]] by real life heteros, so...exact opposite? *** Heh. Straight male here, squicked by neither, who enjoys [[GirlsLove romance, love, and when it's just right,]] [[RelationshipUpgrade having sweet sex.]] TakeAThirdOption? * This male troper is possibly the biggest {{Buffy}}/Faith shipper

''ever.'' It's true love, dammit! ** And this male troper will proclaim {{Buffy}}/''Willow'' to the ends of the Earth. *** [[@/PhanOfDP333 And this male troper]] [[{{shipping}} ships]] [[BeyondTheImpossible every femslash Buffy pairing you can POSSIBLY think of]] [[CrackPairing (though Buffy/Tara has recently become a Crack OTP)]] [[TakeAThirdOption and will agree with both of you,]] [[{{OT3}} but will also suggest Buffy/Willow/Faith.]] [[ButNowIMustGo That is all.]] * I remember hearing a story about a guy that when he was child, wanted two female television characters to marry each other. When he told his mom about the idea, she explained to him why that wasn't possible which resulted in him crying for a long while. The fellow did grow up to be a YuriFan in the end though. * [[@/WillyFourEyes These four eyes]] wear glasses that double as yuri goggles...and yet, the only show I've watched that actually qualifies as such is ''{{Maria-sama ga Miteru}}''. * [[@/JuiceBoxHero This troper]] is a Yuri Fangirl. Recentlyuncloseted bisexual. ** [[@/{{Pocketwatch}} Same story here.]] Except with added YaoiFangirl. * Fanboy here, with a particular fetish for pairings of an OneeSama [[TheHighQueen High Queen]] or LadyOfWar with a more traditional [[TheBigGuy Big Girl]] HotAmazon. * This troper is a straight man who writes gay themed YA novels, but has sold only lesbian ones because, according to my editor, my gay boys simply aren't convincing. Which is understandable as I really do prefer reading the yuri (both western and Japanese). No name given as I'm contractually obligated to keep my pseudonym free of any hint of being male. * [[@/PMiller1 I'll admit,]] that I like Girl on Girl Kink. * [[@/{{Anima}} This troper]] is one of the rare female yuri fans. I especially like pairings with [[{{Bifauxnen}} Convincingly masculine girls.]] [[StupidSexyFlanders Damn you, Haruka.]] * [[@/BigBlue This lesbian Troper]] has been one since joining the TeenTitans fandom at eleven. Her current favorite pair is [[CrackPairing Red and Mokey]] [[FraggleRock from Fraggle Rock]]. * [[@/NeonProdigy I'll]] admit to being a shameless romance fanboy that has many favorite pairings, including some het and yaoi. That being said, my true obsession is yuri. It started years ago with [[NeonGenesisEvangelion Ritsuko/Maya]] and has only grown and evolved since then. * I am this to an unusual extreme. I write fanfics, have a folder, etc. I'm also effeminate and have been mistaken for gay before, but am in fact a heterosexual yuri fan of epic proportions. For example: let's say there's an attractive female friend of mine whom I am interested in getting to know [[{{If You Know What I Mean}} alot]] better. I then find out she's a lesbian. Instantly, without even considering being upset, I switch to fanboy mode and get very supportive. Sometimes I actually prefer them to be lesbians than to like guys (including me). It's much prettier that way. * [[@/{{Logseman}} As a hetero, male Yuri-ShoujoAi fanboy]], I have a

penchant for lesbian relationships in manga. [[@/{{Logseman}} As someone with a taste for developed stories and credible characters]], I tend to be disappointed because the audience catered at is in for... [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean other elements of the story]], and the time and ressources spent on those parts detract from my favored one. {{Hen}} and {{Octave}} are two works which have a good balance between sex and plot in my opinion, and I recommend them heartily. * I'm a standard issue YuriFanboy and seeker of {{Gay Option}}s in any video game I have. I have to occasionally mentally DopeSlap myself when my sister and her friends, all highly affectionate, are around and I start seeing LesYay. Though, in my defense, the girl who was the source of the most LesYay ''finally'' revealed her [[BiTheWay true interests]], to my [[IKnewIt smug satisfaction]]. ** Ohh [[@/AlterAlias I've]] had that one, I now refer to one of my sisters friends exclusively as [[AzumangaDaioh Kaori]] due to this. * This troper, despite being a healthy, 20-year old geek, hasn't gotten into yuri until fairly recently. He hasn't denied that GirlOnGirlIsHot many times, but he never actually ''shipped'' yuri pairings unless they were... well, hot. But after discovering the wonders of [[LipstickLesbian Lipstick Lesbians]], SchoolgirlLesbians and the like, he can't get enough. Now he even ships his own original characters in yuri pairings and has written [[WordOfGod non-canon]] scenarios. ** TroperWorks page coming as soon as I finish a decent number of chapters! [[ScheduleSlip Though that will require me to stop being lazy.]] * This troper is a mild yuri fangirl (though it's more like a {{guilty pleasure}} to her), but surrounded with a quite extreme yuri fangril best friend and unfortunately a yuri fanboy crush who babbles about all of his [[{{girlongirlishot}} sick fetishes]] to this poor troper... * [[@/GirlWithoutHat We hereby present to you a Troper]] who is a (mild) fangirl for yaoi, yuri and het. And enjoys trying to work out a reasonable distribution of the above with her characters. (Possibly since she comes up with most of her original fiction ships while mostly asleep in a state of two-in-the-morningitis, it... doesn't always work out like that. Exactly. Or as one of her parents -- yes, really -- put it, "Why are all of your characters gay?") ** This bisexual Yuri Fangirl has a similar situation: She loves all pairings but, for some reason, yuri just always feels... "right" to her. So all her original fiction works so far contain at least one lesbian relationship... * [[@/DrowLord I must admit]] I'm not really bothered that much by yuri ''or'' yaoi, despite being heterosexual and male...mostly because I know both can get laughably silly (especially the latter, which I have more experience with). Still, my OTP is the blindingly obvious, all-but-canon [[{{Negima}} Konoka/Setsuna]]...and I've given some thought to Yue/Nodoka (especially, since it would solve so much) and Chao/Ku Fei. I daresay I count. * This troper considers herself as an asexual and is not adverse to yaoi or yuri, as long as it has very good basis in canon. Fanon pairings, on the other hand...

** Woah, it really ''is'' true: YouAreNotAlone. This troper is even cosplaying for the yuri cause as a counterpoint to a cosplayer promoting yaoi, but will only flirt because the character's personality demands it. * This lesbian troper, being a total softie, prefers [[RomanticTwoGirlFriendship "Class S" type of relationships]] in fiction over overtly sexual ones. She dreams of being transported to an alternate dimension, where she can be a cool {{onee sama}} at an all-girl school, followed around by hordes of {{squee}}ing fangirls. ** C-could this troper be your uke (is that the right word for it) counterpart? *** ^ Comment seconded. This troper may be fated to be a pillow queen forever. ** In yuri, seme = "tachi" and uke = "neko": Tachi is short for itachi or weasel, since the 'top' in yuri often is sly and/or seduces the younger, while neko = cat = kitty, like a cute younger/shorter/smaller type that nuzzles or clings, to match the 'weasel.' And dammit, OP, that was This Troper's fantasy! D: (Well, maybe she wanted to be more of a {{Bokukko}} type, but...) ** Could this troper be one of those fangirls/nekos? For... one of you? (OneeSama or {{Bokukko}}, that's such a tough choice!) *** Eh, Neko-chan, you wouldn't mind coming with me, right? We'd have ''way'' more fun than Oneesama! *CatSmile, IntertwinedFingers* Besides, she's got lots of girls-- I can have someone as adorable as you, right? *CuteLittleFangs* I mean, they're cute an' all, but [[LoveBubbles you're]] [[LadykillerInLove somethin' else]]. Hey, you don't mind if I... [[LuminescentBlush Oh geez, I'm no good at being all elegant like her, but...]] *HeldGaze* **** *[[LuminescentBlush blushes]]* Actually, I think you're really cute too, {{Bokukko}}-san... [[IntertwinedFingers >///<]] *** The Oneesan and the Bokukko are probably exes and chase girls to outdo the other. Ah, just thinking about their freshman days at St. Lucretia's, with those cute sailor collars and long skirts, their eyes meeting as the CherryBlossoms swirl... ''siiiigh~'' * [[@/{{Swinburne}} This Troper]] is a lesbian who is both a yuri fangirl and a shoujou ai fangirl, and is frequently disappointed in the male-character focus in her parts of fandom. * This Troper came scary close to the line after reading {{Misfile}}. * [[@/{{Cinna}} Lesbian]] Yuri Fangirl here. Yaoi and het are all fine and good but... YURI. I seem to wear yuri goggles in real life, even. * This troper. He also usually includes more than a dash of it in his work. Although at times a pinch more may be needed since it usually goes straight over everyone's heads. * Well... this troper will only like ones that are, well, plausible, if not guarenteed. Shipping for hotness reasons, not so much. Yeah, very different. * [[@/BetaRay This Troper]] [[PlayedForLaughs plays it for laughs]]. I actually just think GirlOnGirlIsHot. * [[@/{{onyhow}} This troper]]. Also a fan of (if it counts as this trope, discussed above) trap/girl pairing. * This tropes, sorta. He prefers to stick to purely romantic stuff and fluff than porn. On a less related note, his girlfriend frequently

jokes that he's the more effeminate of the two. * [[@/KissofCamine This female troper]] and her boyfriend bonded over yuri among other things. * This troper got lots of shit from his YaoiFangirl friends in highschol over being a YuriFan. ** Hooray for hypocrisy! * [[@/{{Raynedrop}} This troper]] is rather fond of yaoi and het, but maintains that next to nothing can top yuri. * [[@/{{Joshua-san0}} This Troper]] would like to come forth and confess to being a YuriFan, strangely of MayDecemberRomance types (well other are good too, but I've noticed an increasing trend...). * [[@/BTIsaac This bisexual troper]] used to be, until he grew sick of the general exploitation of the whole girl-on-girl thing, and have contemplated going guys only a few times, just out of spite. Not that it's that easy when seeing a cute girl can snap you back. * This Troper is a Yuri Fanboy to almost absurd amounts. Roughly 60% of his internet activity is dedicated to searching for yuri. Not just subtext, though, and [[RomanticTwoGirlFriendship "Class S"]] is simply intolerable to him. [[LargeHam He scours the bowels of the internet, eternally searching for yuri that's actually yuri, realistically wrtten, if possible.]] He does, admittedly, identify as both female and a lesbian (but is too lazy and nervous to go through with anything). ** shaun: I've done enough of this sort of thing since I was, let's say, thirteen, and so can sympathise. I tend to give up and use the bad lesbian porn for...[[ADateWithRosiePalms you know]]...and then I feel dirty. * Yaoi/Yuri Bisexual Fangirl who does NOT think HetIsEw either! ** [[Tropers/FruityOatyBars I'm]] one too! Het is hot, GirlOnGirlIsHot, GuyOnGuyIsHot - it's all good. * YuriFanboy here. * Carthestian here with an interesting story. There's a girl (several, actually, but this story concerns only one girl) who was talking about the glories of yaoi. The group went around the table affirming or decrying its existence... [[OnlySaneMan but they all affirmed.]] So when I put down yaoi (guys can do that), the subject went to yuri. The girl (fairly attractive in a CloudCuckooLander sort of way) leaned in towards my face and asked me if I liked yuri. My answer? "No." She then turned her head at an angle, looked at me, and said "You don't know what you're missing". There's really no good way to answer that question. Perhaps, if I weren't cripplingly shy, I would have realized that she was hitting on me in some weird way? * [[@/{{Sygur}} This troper]] is an asexual androgyne (male) that rather dislikes the male gender. There was a time in Japan, this troper is told, when love between two men was considered the purest kind of love. This troper inverts that. Men suck. ** shaun: Brother, speaking as a het male, there are days when I know exactly what you mean... (And yet I've managed to write decent yaoi, one of which, at least is a truly awesome lime; go figure.) * YuriFanboy here. This troper's favorite [[{{Anime/Ptitlei015gc004kw4}} Pokémon]] pairing that's tied with Advanceshipping? Sapphirepearlshipping (May x Dawn).

* This troper can be considered both this and a Yaoi Fangirl. As for my sexuality, it's...complicated. I consider myself asexual above anything else, although I do have a few crushes on celebrities (most of which are gay males, LOL) and has never really dated at all, but yet I have a fairly strong crush on a female classmate I'm kinda close friends with. * [[@/AtlasEXE This troper]] has a platonic Brother/Sister relationship with his female roommate, who is dating a girl. Being the YuriFan that he is, he can't help but Squee (silently) whenever the two cuddle/kiss/touch each other. * [[@/{{Loki-Chan}} For this troper]], it's obvious that there's something really special going on between [[{{Twincest}} Mion and Shion]] from HigurashiNoNakuKoroNi, as there is between [[ToyShip Rika and Satoko]]. Also, he can't imagine Lucy from FairyTail as being straight. Levy is clearly her true love...unless it's Erza...or Mirajane...or Virgo. Well...you get my point...any of these pairing would be the cutest thing in the series. ** Rika and Satoko? How about [[{{OT3}} Rika, Satoko, and Hanyuu]]? * This female troper. However, being asexual and very adverse to physical contact, she has no desire to participate. Watching is good enough. * This troper. I'm a straight girl, but other girls doing it are... fun. * Straight male here, and a Yuri Fan 'till the end. My collection of [[{{Naruto}} Sakura/Ino and Tsunade/Shizune]] is huge! * Sadly enough, there's a serious shortage of [[SuzumiyaHaruhi Yuki]]/[[SuzumiyaHaruhi Haruhi]] and [[SuzumiyaHaruhi Yuki]]/[[NeonGenesisEvangelion Rei]] out there. And in real life, he does wonder very often when 2 girls from his tuition go to the toilet together. * This troper, a straight male, is a proud yuri fan. Though it may border on girl on girl is hot... * This troper wrote a story of over 3000 pages called "Adventures on the Planet of Sexy Bad Ass Lesbians" when he was about 13 or so. I found it again recently (I burried the thing in a box in my yard because I was worried my parents would be mad at me, and forgot about it, only to dig it up while helping my mom with some yard work.) Unfortunatly it has many instances of YouFailSexEdForever, and wording like "She then killed the evil bitch with a chainsaw, and it was fucking awesome". I was 13 after all. ** shaun: That story probably sucked, but that ''paragraph'' was the [[ThisIsSparta best. Story. Ever.]] * Lesbian yuri fangirl here...with a [[IfItsYouItsOkay straight girlfriend]] who LOVES yaoi. :| We're both perverts, but you can imagine what kind of conflicts come up when we try to bond with that. * This female troper loves Yuri, but after a bit of experimentation in real life she has concluded that she's definitely straight. For some reason, the thought of two ''other'' girls getting it on is far hotter than the thought of actually getting it on with another girl herself or the thought of two men getting it on, despite the fact that she's quite the YaoiFangirl (Het porn is fine, but only when bondage and/or S&M with the girl being the M is involved). Hell, her collection of

lesbian porn outweighs that of her boyfriend (both in real life stashes and the stashes on our computers). * This straight female troper likes Yuri, but not for any sexual reason, just because she finds yuri unbearably sweet. She finds the Yuri stories just so much sweeter and deeper than het manga or yaoi manga. Yaoi manga is like anime porn for girls sometimes, and seeing two alien-like creatures "doing it" really freaks her out. Het romance manga usually is complicated and awkward. And Yuri doesn't have much sex. (okay, the yuri this troper reads doesn't have sex.) * This page gives me hope, for yuri fangirls who are still interested in guys ''actually exist''. Yesplz. Also, in real life, I'm apparently associated with the phrase/injoke "Rhesbians? Rwhere?!" (yes, it has to be said that way OR ELSE IT WILL NOT WORK) whenever something yuriish happens in an anime that's being shown in anime club. ...and the fact that in the ecchi comic I'm working on (if it'll ever get posted, now that's another story), there's a suspicious number of bisexual girls and LesYay situations. * Always liked it, but since the release of {{Final Fantasy XIII}} it's gotten worse. I am infatuated with the idea of Lightning and Fang. * Yep yep~! This troper realized [[BiTheWay she]] was a Yuri Fangirl after unintentionally adding a yuri couple to an original story in the past. And she always paired female [[TheSims Sims]] together because they looked cuter together. When she realized how much she found women cuter and she always wondered what it would be like to kiss a girl. Yuri helped this troper find her [[BiTheWay sexuality]]. * Bisexual female troper here who enjoys yuri as much as yaoi, and even enjoys some het as well. * This Troper will never forget the day he became a yuri fanboy. He was in his freshman year of high school and had recently joined the anime club. The (chronologically) first episode of HaruhiSuzumiya got put on at the second meeting he attended. The moment he saw Haruhi put her hands on Mikuru's rack, he was hooked. * [[@/{{Gfrequency}} Unabashed yuri fan here as well.]] I'm a straight guy, but for some reason I find myself utterly unable to relate to most male characters (or most other guys in real life, for that matter). I'm a hopeless romantic sap, and yuri is just somehow...''more romantic'', particularly when the writers don't try to hide it behind a RomanticTwoGirlFriendship or {{Subtext}}. * This straight male troper counts too. Romantic comedies bore me to death unless the couple is lesbian. And if it is a lesbian story, I can go for the most pink romantic comedies possible without problem, though I normally am an action/fantasy/horror fan. My DVD collection expresses this dichotomy: Night of the Living Dead, Evil Dead, Lord of the Rings.... and Maria-sama ga Miteru. Nothing in between those extremes. * shaun: This troper was a yuri fanboy for many years without realizing it. In his naivete and unfounded optimism when it comes to human nature, he just thought this was the logical conclusion of {{girl on girl is hot}} for seeing two girls kissing to be one's personal equivalent to the singing of a choir of angels. And then, after a lifetime squandered without access to any real yuri to speak

of, this troper discovered...{{beat}}...TheLWord! Holy Mary Mother of God, my mind was BLOWN! * This troper is, and a female. The fact that she's bi probably explains a lot. * Bi-curious female here, with a taste for heterosexual and Les Yay. She dislikes yaoi and BL, and is tired of seeing them practically everywhere as they're so rampant (not that she has anything against the fans though). Sometimes has her Yuri Googles on too tight, even in real life. Hardcore lesbian sex makes her squick a little, so she prefers nice fluffy GL. This troper is extremely happy that this page exists. On a personal note, she hopes to have a bisexual / lesbian girlfriend one day, who can fangirl with her over girls' love. ** GirlFriends seems like the perfect series for you. ** Thanks for the recommendation :D But I'm not interested in yuri of the S genre (schoolgirl love). I prefer series that runs away from the typical schoolgirl lesbian romance, such as El Cazador de la Bruja. * This troper's Bisexual girlfriend is both a Yaoi and Yuri Fangirl. * [[@/{{Ventisia}} This troper]] is a bisexual female who adores both yaoi and yuri. Actually, she's also into [[AnythingThatMoves yiff, fetish stuff, het, and a few things she probably shouldn't mention.]] * [[Tropers/CompassionateSadist This]] panromantic troper is [[{{Understatement}} very, very, VERY big yuri fangirl]] and is not afraid to admit it. It's to the point where she has to add a {{token lesbian}} couple or at least yuri subtext or les yay to her M/M stories. (She is also a big {{Yaoi Fan}}.) * [[@/{{SanjiLover}} This troper]]'s friend is a Yuri fangirl. Seriously, how many 12 year old girls do you know of that watch lesbian porn? * I like to put on Shipping Goggles and pretend to be this because it creeps people out. It does help that I go to an all-girls school. I'm actually pretty indifferent to the whole yaoi/yuri thing. * [[Tropers/StongRadd This Troper]] not only slides up and down the extremity scale of this trope, he also slides left to right and [[BeyondTheImpossible forward and back.]] * This troper is in the process of writing a story which contains a lesbian who's in love with a straight woman who is only pretending to be gay to make the lesbian happy ''and'' a Russian spy who's pretending to be a bizarre communist nerd YuriFan who somehow ''still'' doesn't think that GirlOnGirlIsHot and ends up revealing that his yuri manga is actually made of e-paper and is a communications device so he can talk to his spy-ish Russian superiors. Yes, the plot is something of a MindScrew when summarized. * This straight-ish[[hottip:*:I'm a heteromantic [[{{Asexual}} asexual]]]] male troper is one of these. But not for the [[GirlOnGirlIsHot reason]] you'd think. It's just that I've found that the crap to good ratio for yuri romance is much less than straight romance, since they can't rely on [[IKEAErotica "Putting A into B equals love"]] and writers have to actually concentrate on the people first. Honestly, I would read yaoi too for the same reasons, but...well, sorry, I just can't stand the idea of two guys...yeah. Not that I condemn them, just that I think it's [[MindScrew too weird for me to see]] and [[BrainBleach stay sane afterwords.]]

* [[DRoy This Troper]] has really no objection toward homosexual pairings in general (hey, romance is a romance), which applies to yuri as well. ** Killing Joke (I don't know how to link to my page, sorry) seconds that. The only aspects that matter when it comes to couples is that they're likable and fit together. KJ (I'd rather not refer to myself by gender) is a major fan of [[BuffyTheVampireSlayer Tara and Willow, Xander and Anya, Spike and Buffy,]] and [[Adorkable]] Andrew finding a nice guy eventually. That shows that I don't play favorites pretty well. * shaun: Okay, um, what exactly would this troper tales page entail? I ship [[TheLWord Bette with Tina, Alice with Dana, Dana with Lara, Shane with Carmen]], [[AvatarTheLastAirbender Katara with Ty Lee]], [[LipService Cat with Tess (also, Frankie with Jay and, perversely enough, Tess with Cat's brother, but that doesn't qualify here)]], [[Claymore Helen and Deneve]], and, well, a whole lot of people in fandoms you've probably never heard of. * [[Tropers/StongRadd This Troper]] once mentioned the following [[RulesOfTheInternet rule of the internet]] to his friend Colin: "Rule 190: The only good hentai is yuri, that's how the internet works." He replied with "OH GOD YES!" * This lesbian troper found out after she came out that her best friend is a totally straight, female Yuri fangirl. She's always trying to set up said troper with girls, expressed that she wanted to take her out to lesbian bars, and tries to get her drunk at every available opportunity in a hope that [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean she'll get friendly with the nearest available females.]] She's very excited for this troper's 18th birthday. This troper is a little bit worried. -sigh* [[Tropers/AdelePotter This Tropette]] would never, ''ever'' admit it in public, but ever since discovering the TroperTales page for ConvenientlyCommonKink, I've decided that by TV Tropes standards, I'm fairly normal. ** Same here (though, friends on XBL are another matter, since they seem to have a high likelyhood of sharing them). And I'm the guy who posted the ones about {{Lolicon}} and sisters fucking each other. * [[@/PhanOfDP333 This guy! *waves*]] I just...love femslash. And am proud of it, too. But I can enjoy het and even slash. Yuri Goggles are on practically constantly! Even in real life...which is apparently common around here, from what I can see. Well...at least we can all relate. Anyway, a few others listed some of their yuri {{OTP}}s; while that would take FOREVER for me if I even listed half of them, I guess I could list some of my top favourites (that come to mind): [[BeyondTheImpossible ANY femslash pairing in]] BuffyTheVampireSlayer, {{Supergirl}}/{{Batgirl}} ([[HeartSymbol <3]]), PowerGirl/Terra ([[HeartSymbol <3]][[HeartSymbol <3]]), [[HarryPotter Luna/Hermione]], [[{{Smallville}} Kara]][[CrackPairing /]][[{{Smallville}} Tess]] ([[ShipsThatPassInTheNight even though they've never met]]), and so on... * At around age 8-9 this troper was an avid CardCaptor Sakura fan and while surfing Google images for pictures, she came upon a picture labeled "CardCaptor Sakura yuri hentai kiss" It was Sakura and Tomoyo engaging in the sexist kiss shared between two preteen girls this

troper had ever seen. After staring at the picture for a good five minutes, this troper proceeded to look up yuri hentai... the proceeded to watch it... and watch it... and watch it. I watched so much, during math class I would have daydreams about girls getting it on, and would constantly give out wrong answers. Needless to say this troper became a mad yuri fangirl and shunned everything that was not yuri. It wasn't until summer after the fifth grade I stopped looking down on yaoi and het as scum of the Earth, and began watching series for reasons beside the fact that two girls had the chance of participating in sexy fanservice with one another. This troper now lives as a sexually confused teenager, who ships yuri, yaoi, het, incest, whatever. (I make my own original series and tend to add lots of yuri subtext, yuri couples, that good stuff. It also doesn't help I daydream of going to an all girls school, or meeting a cute girl on the train someday, or wanting to be dominated by a hot kouhai who calls me 'onee-sama"...) Judging from this page I'm starting to think it's not such a bad thing... ----

Zeerust * This Troper particuarly loves how outdated his iDance Wall-E figure looks, when compared with his MP3 player. * [[{{AceOfScarabs}} This troper]] personally prefers the look of his GBA, Game Gear, and old-style DS to the scrawny and anorexic PSP and GBA SP/Micro. Above all, I believe the Old White Brick Gameboy has the nicest feel in my hands. ** [[TheGreatUnknown This troper]] much prefers the look of his original Game Boy, NES and Super NES to the new Wii design. Honestly, it looks like a microwave on its side! At least the Game Boy had a good solid feel in your hands, though the GBA is balanced, too. *** NostalgiaFilter, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitches]]. ** Game Boy Advance Platinum. Nothing says "The Future Came and Went, and ''You Were In The Wrong Timeline''" like a [[UsedFuture slightly scuffed]], fake-aluminum (or [[TheAestheticsOfTechnology Crystal]], for that matter, but far less so) handheld game system. * [[DarkInsanity13 This troper]], while she loves her DS Lite, finds herself being somewhat nostalgic when she picks up her old Game Boy Color. But what's more amusing is that she owns an old handmedown calculator that her ''parents'' used. It doesn't look particularly futuristic, but it definitely doesn't look like it belongs in this time period. The sad part of it is that since receiving it in grade 9 or 10, she's only had to change the battery once for her brother to use once she was finished with it. That's ''4 years'' on the battery that was orginally in it when handed to her. What's sadder is that it probably works better than any of the fancier calculators made recently. * This troper has a collection of old, obsolete electronics that he discarded when they were replaced, but could never really face throwing away. This goes from a Nokia 5110 phone, which was heavy and bulky enough not to really be mobile, an old 'micro' MP3 player with a harddrive (that broke after too many drops), and his beloved Sony

portable CD player that survived a 5' assisted drop onto concrete and still works fine if you tape the lid down. * This troper's dad still keeps a Centris 610 (a Macintosh) because it still works. The Centris 610 is currently over ''15 years old'', made in the mid [[TheNineties 90s]]. The troper's dad also has a first generation iMac (THE original) from 2000 that also still works. The Centris look like something out of a {{Dilbert}} comic from last decade, and the iMac has an interesting vibe to it that seems to suggest that it, the Sega Dreamcast and ''Cubix: Robots for Everyone'' will become prime examples of an impending "90's Zeerust". * This Troper was born in the mid-to-late 1980s. This troper was never particularly taught to value old cars. The car this troper wants badly is a Ford Falcon. You know, those boxy cars that usually have "FUTURA" scrawled across the back? That look exceedingly old even for the 60s because they tried so hard to be futuristic? Yeah, those. ** Falcons are actually very conservatively styled for the era (they were launched as 1960 models, just as tailfins were going out of style). I like 'em too, especially the early ones with the curved back window. * This troper still loves Japanese sports cars from the late eighties and early nineties. Basically anything that's a bit of a wedge shape and has those full width rear lights: Nissan 300ZX, Honda NSX, Toyota Supra (the older 'white whale' one), Subaru SVX, Mitsubishi Starion etc. ** This troper owns a Starion, and absolutely loves it, no matter how high-maintenance it gets. * This troper's mobile phone. A curvy grey brick of a phone. Heavy, bulky, and the manufacturer's name is unpronouncable. It's redeeming features are that it works, it's a very ergonomic brick, it can (and often DOES) take being dropped down a flight of stairs, and it has Ride Of The Valkyries as a ringtone. * I ''really'' want a [[http://images.google.com.au/images?hl=en&source=hp&q=Dome+Zero&gbv=2 &aq=f&oq= Dome Zero]] - partly 'cos I'm a [[TransformersGeneration1 Hot Rod]] fanboy, but also 'cos it looks like a supercharged wedge of cheese on wheels - the 70s future. * This Troper prefers his second generation iPod nano to the look of the newer one. ** The one shaped like a stick of gum, as opposed to the third generation (the one shaped like a postage stamp that someone's been preparing for foie gras) or fourth and fifth generation (the ones shaped like a sixth-grade physics airfoil model on its end)? Yeah. The "current" one (they all look fourth gen in my mind) somehow ''already'' looks Zeerusted, and not in a retro way. The thirdgeneration model actually does look Zeerusty in a retro way, kind of like a cross between a bandless DickTracy video watch, a somehowflatscreen 1950s television set, and [[WallE EVE]] (though [=iPod=] White does seem to be going the way of TroperTales Zeerust, since the graphite/slate ones look much less futuristically old these days, and don't show scuffs as much). * This troper wants a iMac 3G (or any other computer designed by an early Jonathan Ive) to gut it, put in modern parts, and install

Linux/Windows. I just love it was designed. ** Since we're talking about Macs, this troper likes the design and looks of the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PowerBook_G4 PowerBook G4]]. It's probably the only Mac he likes. * This troper has a half-working 1st Gen iPod Nano. She was shocked when, after 4 years of owning it, it was called "huge". She also prefers the feel of her GBA (which she got roughly around the same time as her iPod) to her DS. And although she likes the feel of her iPod Touch, it doesn't quite have the emotion of a pink metal iPod Mini with a tiny, monochrome screen. * [[Tropers/{{Nemica}} This troper]] would prefer her laptop to be black and square over these whole roundish designs. They look so [[RealWomenNeverWearDresses girly]]. And they can't handle being used by her that well... * I have only two words for ya: Palm Pilots. HumanTorch2 * Ever since this troper was a little kid, he loved imagining what the future would be like, and over the years he has developed few detailed visions set at different times that he would draw a buttload of pictures of. Of course after time, they all turned out silly and also zeerusty. The oldest he remembers was in 1999 when he was 12 and envisioned the [[SarcasmMode far-off]] year 2012 as full of [[FlyingCar hover cars]] that don't touch the ground, [[RidiculouslyHumanRobots rebelious robots]], [[FuturisticSuperhighway elevated highways over rooftops]] and [[RuleOfCool ambiguous electronic devices sticking on the walls outside every window for no clear reason]]. Then in the year 2002, he spent some time envisioning the year 2057 and even building detailed chronology up to this year, with things like [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs military conflict between hypermarket chains]]. The one he came up with in 2004 was the most persistant (he still added some details around 2006) and little more realistic, but still pretty zeerusty as of 2011 - set in 2019, it had fancy-shaped cars with doors opening in every possible way, flying ambulances/cargo ships that utilized antigravitation invented in [[IWantMyJetpack 2008]], optical discs replaced with small magnetic cards with 20TB capacity, [[VideoPhone videophones]] everywhere and [[GreenAesop global environmental disaster]] that humanity got over ridiculously fast. Now whenever he imagines future, it's either conveniently distant (i.e. 22nd century) or with realistically tame changes (like widespread face recognition technology ten years from now) ---[[{{Zeerust}} Click here to go back to Zeerust]], which already looks old. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

ZergRush * As a result of us getting the rules wrong (namely what does and does not count as spells), [[@/{{Deadbeatloser22}} This Troper]] got quite

thoroughly rushed in a MagicTheGathering game by my brother's use of the [[http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=189 214 Hostility card]], resulting in exponentially growing numbers of Elemental Shaman tokens. The final result was a rush of ''7,289,897'' tokens, plus the other cards he had on the field, resulting in an [[NoKillLikeOverkill overkill]] of ''21,869,695'' damage points. * [[@/SoWeAteThem I]] once joked (at an independent pet food supply place in a major city near mine) about raising a really big number of chihuahuas as guard dogs just to invoke this trope.

ZeroChops * Just for the troper in the archived discussion page, [[Tropers/RedWren this troper]] will give one. This will be told from the view of an outsider, so to spare you my convoluted thought process: -->Girl and guy are talking. Both are getting progressively more annoyed. Guy starts posturing. Girl gives a 'Yeah, right,' gesture. Guy grabs girl in an...unfriendly hug? Girl delivers a weak punch to guy's shoulder. Guy leaps back, surprised. * In a recent session of a 3e Shadowrun game, two assassins and a mage pulled a scientist into a van and drove off with him. For some reason, the mage and the scientist decided to start a fight. Neither had weapons or unarmed combat training (and the mage didn't have any nonlethal spells and the party wanted the guy alive) so they both defaulted to Strength (rolling against +4 target numbers-- a target of 8 on a d6, meaning they need a 6 followed by a 2 or better) with their decidedly average Strength scores of 3. When nobody landed a hit in two initiative passes, one of the assassins knocked the prisoner out with a shock glove. * When [[Tropers/{{Joelly}} this Troper]] was in high school, I became embroiled in one of these. Since both participants were NoodlePeople, it consisted of a brief slap fight, swiftly curtailed when a teacher walked by. * I know a lot of martial arts and I have a friend who's a gentle giant. Every so often, we'd give each other a death glare, take an asskicking pose and slap fight like little girls. It was especially funny when I'd throw in a cartwheel or some other silly but impressive stunt and go right back to the slapping. ---Go back to ZeroChops; you're fighting like a kindergartner. ----

ZigZaggingTrope * This Troper's Family actually manages to Zig-Zag AllJewsAreCheapskates. While most of the Jewish members of his family [[SubvertedTrope aren't exactly what you'd call stingy]], save for one of his uncles, who has been known for [[DoubleSubversion his expert bargaining ability]], except for the fact he was [[ZigZaggingTrope married into the family, and is not Jewish at all]].

ZipMeUp * Actually happened to [[@/{{MIn}} this troper]] while I was working in the backstage of an amdram show. I was working in the props room by myself, quietly sorting out a pile of ribbons, when this actress I was ''crazy'' about came in and asked me to unzip her dress and unfasten a necklace. To get to the props room you had to come through the dressing rooms, which were full of people who could have done that for her. * [[Tropers/{{Smerf}} I]] haven't had to zip up a girl, but one of my friends called me in to tie her corset. They figured I'd have strong enough hand and would know how to do it. * This tropette was at a CCR (California College Republicans) convention and one of the events that was held was a formal dinner. She was in the bathroom of her room, unable to get into her dress because the zipper couldn't budge. The only person who could help zip her up was the vice president of her club... who was a male... who was engaged to the club's president (It should be noted that the president and vice president of her club are now very happily married.). * Our marching band uniforms have zippers on the back. This troper can zip his just fine, but other people seem to have trouble, so this trope is in effect constantly, minus the UST implications. ** Minus, you say?

Zodiacs * In the demo game run at A-Kon 2010, the player running Xun-Fu just about exactly reproduced the manner in which the author wrote out the death of the Emissary in the short stories...the player in question had not read the short stories.

ZorroMark * This Troper was in a roleplaying campaign recently where my character had to carve a Z whenever he did something awesome. This lead to him [[CrowningMomentofAwesome banishing a demon by carving a Z into the forehead of a unicorn.]] Said Z mark now glows with a white light, and is apparently permanent.

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