‘The Office’

episode 3.01
sample script
Jeremiah Pasternak

Jeremiah Pasternak
500 Main St.
Rockland, ME 04841
(207) 596 0111
(603) 431 7758

jeremiahpasternak@hotmail.com
 1

FADE IN:

INT. MICHAEL SCOTT’s CHRYSLER SEBRING - 7:55AM

MICHAEL is on his way to work. The radio is off.

MICHAEL
(driving)
Michael Scott, the ladies man, is back
in the game!

SexyBack by Justin Timberlake is on the radio.

So yesterday, while I was at home

listening to
(gestures to the
radio)
my new Justin Timberlake CD- Did you
know that it’s been three yrs since JT
released Justified?

Another Justin Timberlake is playing, not nearly as loud.

Any ways, the phone rang and guess who

it was. My ‘girlfriend’ Jan. She just
happened to be in Scranton
(whispers)
which I don’t believe
(normal)
and wanted to know if I would like to
join her for some fine Indian cuisine.

INT. INDIAN RESTAURANT - LOBBY - NIGHT

We can see MICHAEL commenting on the hostess’ turban as he

leads them to their seat, but we don’t know what he’s saying
as the camera is outside looking in.

INT. INDIAN RESTAURANT - DINING AREA - NIGHT (CONT’D)

Looking in from EXT. MICHAEL and JAN are brought to a table

near a window. MICHAEL pulls JAN’s chair out for her and
when she sits down doesn’t know how to push it in.

MICHAEL and JAN are sitting as the hostess gives them their
menus.
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INT. MICHAEL’s CAR - 8:03AM (CONT’D)

Michael
I had never had Indian food before, but
my experience, well, it was strikingly
similar to Ben Stiller’s in ‘Along Came
Polly’.

INT. INDIAN RESTAURANT (CONT’D)

Looking in from EXT. MICHAEL and JAN appear to be having

fun, as is evident with JAN’s half smile. MICHAEL appears to
be reenacting a plane fight or something of that sort as his
arms are flailing through the air and he’s got a silly look
on his face. HE quits this when the waiter brings out their
food.

INT. MICHAEL’s CAR - 8:05AM (CONT’D)

MICHAEL
As soon as I tried some of the yellowy,
baby food-like curry dish Jan ordered
for me, my face started to-

INT. INDIAN RESTAURANT (CONT’D)

Looking in from EXT. Zoom in on MICHAEL’s face as it turns

red and he undoes the top button of his shirt and loosens his
tie.

INT. MICHAEL’s CAR - 8:07AM (CONT’D)

MICHAEL
Yeah, it got very red.

Then, I started to sweat...profusely;

and finally my stomach started to...
make noises, strange noises, like a
volcano ready to explode.

INT. INDIAN RESTAURANT (CONT’D)

Looking in from EXT. MICHAEL is sweating, squirming and

looks very uncomfortable all the while laughing at whatever
JAN is saying.
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INT. MICHAEL’S CAR - 8:12AM (CONT’D)

MICHAEL
Remember that scene in- what was that
future-istic movie with
(imitating)
Arnold Schwarzeneggar?

Yeah, ‘Total Recall’. Remember when

that thing comes out of the guys
stomach? Hmmm...

INT. INDIAN RESTAURANT (CONT’D)

Looking in from EXT. JAN is sitting, looking at her watch.

Zoom out and pan to see MICHAEL exiting the restroom.

INT. MICHAEL’S CAR - 8:20AM (CONT’D)

MICHAEL
After dinner I took Jan back to the
hotel...

INT. MICHAEL’S CAR - NIGHT (CONT’D)

MICHAEL and JAN are pulling out of the parking lot of the
Indian restaurant. SHE is obviously uncomfortable, knowing
that there is a cameraman sitting in the back seat.

MICHAEL
So, do you want to, maybe...come back
to my con-do?

JAN
No, Michael, I think I’ll just go back
to the Raddison....If that’s ok.

MICHAEL
Sure, sure.

INT. MICHAEL’S CAR - 8:23AM (CONT’D)

MICHAEL
Yes, Jan did ask me up.
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INT. MICHAEL’S CAR - NIGHT (CONT’D)

MICHAEL and JAN are parked in the Raddison parking lot.

MICHAEL
Jan, can I...um...can I come up and...
use your bathroom?

JAN
Oh, Michael, do you really have to?

MICHAEL
Yes Jan! I wouldn’t ask unless I
REALLY had to.

INT. MICHAEL’S CAR - 8:30AM (CONT’D)

MICHAEL
I didn’t stay ‘cause...I had to get
home...and do some paperwork...and
because I’m a ‘good guy’ and Jan may
have had a few...

MICHAEL drinks an imaginary beer.

If you know what I mean.

INT. MICHAEL’s APARTMENT - BATHROOM - NIGHT (CONT’D)

The camera is focused on the bathroom door outside as MICHAEL

is inside.

MICHAEL (O.S.)
I’m ok!

INT. MICHAEL’S CAR - 8:33AM (CONT’D)

MICHAEL
Yeah, just a...a really...great night.
Perfect, actually.
(big smile)

Title and Credits

 5
INT. OFFICE - DAY

Various shots of different people working. Pan to Dwight and

zoom. Dwight has a magazine on his lap.

DWIGHT TALKING HEAD

DWIGHT
Today, in ‘Ninja Mask’, my horoscope
said that I am going to have a
peaceful, relaxing, wonderful week
with a strong chance of...romance.
(pause)
Maybe Jim caught the bird flu over
the weekend.

INT. OFFICE - RECEPTION - DAY

PAM is looking at DWIGHT, who keeps looking toward the

entrance as of waiting for someone. JIM walks in.

DWIGHT
Darn it!

JIM looks at DWIGHT as if ‘what the...?’ and then at PAM.

She smiles at JIM, and HE continues to his desk where he
drops his bag on his desk. DWIGHT has a sinister look in his
eye.

JIM
How are you today, Dwight.

Pan to PAM, giggling at the absurd look on DWIGHT’s face.

Pan back to JIM as he’s looking at PAM.

JIM TALKING HEAD

JIM
Am I happy about what happened with
Pam? Yes, definitely. Do I have any
idea what’s going to happen now? No,
I do not.
 6
INT. OFFICE - RECEPTION - DAY

JIM walks over to PAM at the reception desk as DWIGHT stares

at his back.

JIM
(leans over Pam’s
desk and smiles)
Hey.

PAM
(smiles back)
Hey.

JIM
Um, so...

PAM
(giggles)
Yeah...

PAM and JIM look at each other, not saying anything for a few
seconds.

JIM
Are we just...not going to talk about
what happened, or...?

The electricity goes out. The office is completely dark.

DWIGHT
(after a few seconds)
Nobody panic. Michael? Michael?

DWIGHT turns on a flashlight and points it in all directions.

DWIGHT (CONT’D)
Where’s Michael?

DWIGHT TALKING HEAD

DWIGHT
(holding flashlight
under his chin)
This is NOT funny.

INT. OFFICE - DAY (CONT’D)

KEVIN
I think he’s still in the bathroom.
 7
DWIGHT
Why would he be in the bathroom?

KEVIN
Because that’s where he was a couple
minutes ago.

KEVIN TALKING HEAD

KEVIN
(grinning)
It smelled like Michael was making
hard-boiled eggs in there.

INT. OFFICE - MENS RESTROOM - DAY

DWIGHT is standing outside the mens restroom door.

DWIGHT
Quiet everyone.

DWIGHT puts his ear to the door.

MICHAEL (O.S)
Oh my god!
(pause)
OK, ha ha, turn the lights out on the
boss...real funny! Is that you Packer?

DWIGHT
Michael?
(pause)
Michael, are you ok?

MICHAEL opens the door and DWIGHT stumbles onto him.

MICHAEL
What...what are you doing?

DWIGHT
(sighs)
Thank god you’re OK.

MICHAEL
Why wouldn’t I be OK? Why aren’t the
lights on?

DWIGHT
You have some toilet paper stuck to
your shoe.
 8
MICHAEL TALKING HEAD

MICHAEL
The first thing that I thought was
‘War of the Worlds’ and I know I’m
not alone. The electricity goes out,
everyone starts to panic and then the
next thing you know the ‘machines’
show up. I’m actually more frightened
by the though of scientologists taking
over, but...

INT. OFFICE - DAY

MICHAEL
Everyone in the conference room.
Come on, lickity split ami-gos.

Everyone shuffles into the conference room.

STANLEY
How long before we can go home?

MICHAEL
Am I paying you to be at home,
Stanley?

STANLEY
You’re not paying me at all.

MICHAEL
You’re right, I’m not. But, Dunder
Mifflin is paying ME to make sure
that YOU all are productive, and...
we don’t even know what’s going on
out there, so-

STANLEY
If there’s no power my kids will be
coming home from school and I NEED
to be there.

KEVIN
(grins)
And I have a date tonight.

Everyone stops and looks at KEVIN

MICHAEL
No one’s going anywhere...Just make
yourselves comfortable and-
 9
KELLY
(interrupts)
-Where’s Ryan?

MICHAEL
(looking around,
to DWIGHT)
Give me the flashlight.
(looks all around)
Yeah, where is Ryan?

DWIGHT TALKING HEAD

DWIGHT
Maybe Ryan was taken by the ‘Others’?!

EXT. OFFICE - PARKING LOT - DAY

View from INT. window. Ryan is walking to his car.

RYAN TALKING HEAD

RYAN
If I’m not going to be doing any work,
there’s really no reason for me to be
here.

INT. OFFICE - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

ANGELA
Michael, what are we doing here?

Michael
Well Angela, we’re going to make
the best out of this ‘situation’
and do some ‘office bonding’. Is
that going to be OK?

ANGELA TALKING HEAD

ANGELA
BONDING? I don’t want to bond with
these people. I could be at home,
playing with Sprinkles, Otter, Lucy
and Hamilton right now; or
(smiling and at the
same time blushing)
 10

ANGELA (CONT’D)
I could be doing something else.

INT. OFFICE - DAY

Various shots. Most are still sitting in the conference

room. STANLEY is sitting with his arms crossed, looking
unhappy. CREED is giving PHYLLIS a back rub. MEREDITH is at
her desk sipping from her Big Gulp. PAM and JIM are sitting
against the wall besides the reception desk. They are
talking and laughing and smiling but we cannot hear what they
are saying.

INT. OFFICE - MICHAEL’s OFFICE - DAY

MICHAEL is on his cell phone, on hold with the electric

company.

DWIGHT
Michael, I need to show you something.

MICHAEL
What, what, what? Can’t you see that
I’m...?

MICHAEL gets off the phone. DWIGHT pulls him over to his
desk. He sits down and opens one of his drawers, and another
and another, all of which are full of cans. DWIGHT pulls out
a can of Spaghetti O’s.

DWIGHT
Michael, do you like Spaghetti O’s
or Mac and Cheese?

MICHAEL
(confused)
What the? What...what is all this?

DWIGHT TALKING HEAD

DWIGHT
I, Dwight Schrute, am trained in all
forms of disaster relief. One of the
biggest problems in disasters, is that
most people don’t keep a surplus of
nonperishable foods. At my farm, I
have a fallout shelter, and in that
shelter I have over 30,000 cans of
 11
DWIGHT (CONT’D)
vegetables, soup and other essentials.
I have enough water for, get this, ten
years.

INT. OFFICE - DWIGHT’s DESK - DAY

DWIGHT
I have enough for the two of us, and
one other person, for four weeks.

MICHAEL
Are you insane? No, I don’t need to
ask that...

MICHAEL starts to walk away

DWIGHT
(talking to
MICHAEL’s back)
If by insane you mean prepared, than
yes, Michael, I am!

EXT. MCDONALD’S - DRIVE-UP WINDOW - DAY

RYAN
(into the
‘order box’)
Could I get a chicken sandwich, no
mayo, a large fry and...a medium
sprite.

TELLER (O.S)
will that be all?

RYAN
(looking at camera)
Do you want anything?

INT. RYAN’s CAR - DAY

RYAN is eating whilst driving.

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EXT. OFFICE - PARKING LOT - DAY

RYAN
(eating)
I think it’s just our building that
the power went out...it might even
be just our floor...so, I’m just
gonna wait here until it comes back
on...if, it comes back on.

INT. OFFICE - MICHAEL’s OFFICE - DAY

MICHAEL
(on the phone)
So, how long before it’s on?

MICHAEL TALKING HEAD

MICHAEL
Apparently, a truck full of runaway
immigrants hit a telephone pole down
the street and that’s why we lost
power...I wonder if Oscar knew any
of them?

INT. OFFICE - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

OSCAR is telling a ghost story and has everyone’s attention.

PAM, JIM, DWIGHT and ANGELA are not there. MICHAEL enters.

MICHAEL
Everyone, can I have your attention.

DWIGHT enters behind MICHAEL. OSCAR continues to tell his

story.

DWIGHT
Quiet down everyone, please, Michael
has VERY-IMPORTANT-NEWS that affects
each and every one of you.

OSCAR
Michael, I’m right in the middle of
a story.

MICHAEL
What is this, the boy scouts?
 13
DWIGHT
Or the brownies-

MICHAEL
(annoyed)
What...what does that mean?

DWIGHT
The brownies are...like the ‘female
version’ of the boy scouts.

MICHAEL
No, they’re not, Dwight! The
brownies go door to door selling
delicious cookies.

DWIGHT TALKING HEAD

DWIGHT
If they sell cookies, why do they
call themselves brownies? They
should be selling brownies...or
change their name to ‘cookies’.

INT. OFFICE - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

MICHAEL
Where is-

KELLY
-I still can’t find Ryan!

STANLEY
Can we go yet?

MICHAEL
No Stanley, you cannot go.
(to everyone)
It seems that a major crisis has
been averted and the power should
be coming within the hour, so,
let’s just sit and...Oscar, you can
finish your silly story if you want
to.
 14
MICHAEL TALKING HEAD

MICHAEL
It’s times like these I wish our
branch came equipped with a karaoke
machine.
(pause)
A battery-operated karaoke machine.

INT. OFFICE - DWIGHT’s DESK - DAY

DWIGHT is sitting at his desk, rocking back and forth.

ANGELA comes up from behind DWIGHT and whispers something in
his ear. A sly grin appears on DWIGHT’s face. ANGELA walks
away.

INT. OFFICE - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

The room is quiet.

MICHAEL
So, does anyone want me to burn
the new JT CD for them?

STANLEY
No.

MICHAEL
(under his breathe)
Um, ok, Marvin Gaye.

STANLEY
What did you say?

MICHAEL
I said your daughter would probably
like some ‘sexy back’.

STANLEY gives MICHAEL an angry look. The power comes on.

MICHAEL
Hey! We have light!

EXT. OFFICE - PARKING LOT - DAY

View from INT. window. Zoom in on RYAN. He gets out of his

car and walks toward the entrance.
 15
INT. OFFICE - DAY

Everyone migrates back to their desks. MICHAEL walks into

his office. PAM peeks above her desk. She has happy eyes,
rosy cheeks and her hair is slightly more disheveled than it
usually is. JIM pops up next to her with a grin from ear to
ear.

INT. OFFICE - OUTSIDE RESTROOMS - DAY

TOBY walks into the mens room just as ANGELA is coming out of
the ladies room.

TOBY (O.S.)
(inside bathroom)
Oh, come on!

TOBY exits bathroom, disgusted.

INT. OFFICE - RECEPTION - DAY

PAM is sitting at her desk fixing her hair. RYAN walks in.
KELLY sees RYAN and runs over.

KELLY
Ryan, you’re ok! Oh my god, I missed
you SOOO much! I didn’t know what
happened; I was so worried! All I
could think was, ‘what if this happened’
to Ryan, or ‘what if that happened’
to Ryan!

INT. OFFICE - MICHAEL’s OFFICE - DAY

TOBY knocks on MICHAEL’s door and enters.

TOBY
Michael?

MICHAEL
Yes, Toby, what can I do you for?

TOBY
Um, Michael, you overflowed the
toilet in the bathroom and it’s...
it’s everywhere.
 16
MICHAEL
(waves toby in)
Sit down.

TOBY sits down.

MICHAEL
Do you have any idea how hard it is
to maneuver around a bathroom when
the lights are off?...to know if
you’ve completely wiped yourself
clean if you’ve...done a number two?!

TOBY
No, Michael, I’m sorry, I don’t.

MICHAEL
Well, It’s hard, Toby! Trust me.

MICHAEL TALKING HEAD

MICHAEL
No sir, I was not the last one in
there...not me.
(pause)
I think it was Oscar.

INT. OFFICE - MICHAEL’s OFFICE - DAY (CONT’D)

MICHAEL
So someone put a little too much
toilet paper in the toilet, fine, it
happens. I’m not going to walk
around placing blame.

TOBY
Michael, I’m pretty sure it was you.

MICHAEL
Well Toby, I’m telling you that it
was not, so just make a call to
maintenance and it’ll be cleaned up.

INT. OFFICE - DAY

Everyone is back to ‘work’. JIM looks up and smiles at PAM.

She smiles back. DWIGHT is not at his desk.
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INT. OFFICE - LADIES RESTROOM - DAY

ANGELA walks by the ladies restroom and knocks twice on the

door and keeps walking. After a few seconds DWIGHT comes
out.

The End