Definitive Compendium to JOURNALS by Kurt Cobain

ver 1.0
<!"R#$00%
"oo& 'ub(i)*in+ ,nformation--
US ver)ion .pub(i)*ed )imu(taneou)(y in a p(ae )uppo)ed(y a((ed Canada/
River*ead "oo&) 0 Ne1 2or& $00$
./$00$ by #*e 3nd of 4u)i. LLC
,S"N 1567%$$5$%$51
Art diretion 8 boo& de)i+n by C(aire 9aaro
Di+ita( '*oto+rap*y by Ni& 9aaro
Speia( #*an&) to- Kri) Sprou( for *i) ompi(ation effort)
pa+e i 5 J O U R N A L S
pa+e ii 5 *o1 to de)ribe t*i) pa+e: t*e fir)t pre)ented pa+e of obain;) 1ritin+ i) of )omeone
attemptin+ to ba(ane t*eir finane). (ar+e(y b(an& )pae )ave for t*e fo((o1in+ e<uation-
boo=e %0
reord) 0 1at* 60
food $0
ti&et 100
55555555555555555555555555555555
$00
100
t*e (i+*t b(ue 100 i) 1ritten tota((y different t*an t*e b(a& 100> indeed t*e (abe() (oo& a)
t*ou+* t*ey 1ere added at a (ater time. per*ap) a(( t*e an)1er) are ri+*t *ere. (i&e(y>
on)iderin+ one an )ee a o(umn of 1ritten 1ord) on t*e oppo)ite )ide of t*e pa+e. future effort)
1i(( be made to deip*er.
Noteboo&- 1
pa+e iii 5 anot*er K U R # C O " A , N J O U R N A L S tit(e pa+e
pa+e iv 5 ata(o+ue number> pub(i)*in+ info> et
pa+e v 5 t*e infamou) introdution to t*i) 1or& of art-
?Don;t read my diary 1*en ,;m +one
O&> ,;m +oin+ to 1or& no1. @*en you
1a&e up t*i) mornin+> p(ea)e read my
diary. (oo& t*rou+* my t*in+)>
and fi+ure me out. ?
Noteboo&- $
pa+e vi 5 b(an&
pa+e vii 5 J O U R N A L S
pa+e viii 5 b(an&
15% 5 (etter to da(e rover 1ritten in may 1ABB )oon after nirvana *ad p(ayed t*eir fir)t )eatt(e
)*o1> &urt i) ent*u)ia)ti in t*i) (etter about t*e future of t*e band> (aimin+ ?dave Cfo)terD i)
1or&in+ out o&.? .$/ Eo)ter 1a) (ater &i&ed out of t*e band> )*ort(y rep(aed by Aaron "ur&*ardt
for at (ea)t one )*o1 at 3ver+reen State Co((e+e in 4ay of 1ABB. Kurt a()o re(ay) a )tory about
doin+ aid a mont* ear(ier 1it* Kri)t and )ma)*in+ ?about $60 )*itty C*ri) Novo)e(i reord)? .%/
1*i* i) <uite *umorou).
Kurt )ay) of ?,f 2ou 4u)t? 5 ?#*e fir)t )on+ on t*e demo i) no (on+er p(ayed it i) )i&enin+ and
dumb. De)troy it C.D it i) evi(. in t*e (i&e) of 1*ite)na&e and "on Jovi.? .%/
F 5 peni( dra1in+ of ,ron 4aiden;) ma)ot or )omet*in+ rippin+ a +(obe in *a(f 1it* a (ar+e
inte)tine ombinin+ t*e t1o *a(ve) bro&en (i&e e++ )*e((). 9ariou) ot*er or+an) are atta*ed a)
1e((. t*e reature *a) (ar+e *o((o1 eye) and i) va+ue(y remini)ent of t*e ,ne)tiide over
paintin+.
6 5 ?no amount of effort an )ave you from ob(ivion? and variou) ot*er rantin+) )ome1*at tit(ed
?#*e Late 1AB0;)?
a piture an be )ome1*at )een ta&in+ up t*e maGority of t*e pa+e be*ind
1ritten on t*e ba&)ide of t*e (a)t pa+e of a )et of paper) )tap(ed to+et*er
H 5 1ritten on t*e in)ide over of a noteboo& ?Soundtra& to IR 'uff5n5)tuff featurin+ 4omma
Ca)) and Ja& @i(de 0 4ar(en Deitrit* )in+) Li((y 4ar(ene?
A pa+e i) partia((y )*o1in+ to t*e )ide due to t*e 1ay t*e noteboo& 1a) fo(ded 1*en t*e
p*oto+rap* 1a) ta&en
Noteboo& F
7 5 t*ree +uitar *ord) tabbed out (abe(ed EF> EH> and E7
Noteboo&- %> oran+e over> )pira( bound> 1ire )ti&in+ up at top> top ri+*t orner of )ome
pa+e) )tained
B 5 )*ort (etter to reord ompany be++in+ to be on t*eir (abe(> po))ib(y a draft of a form (etter>
1ritten in rayon> 1ritten on (oo)e (eaf )*eet of paper> mo)t (i&e(y 1ritten bet1een Eebruary and
4ar* of 1ABB
@e are 1i((in+ to pay
for t*e maGority of
pre))in+ of 1000 opie) of
our L'> and a(( of t*e
reordin+ o)t). @e
ba)ia((y Gu)t 1ant to
be on your (abe(.
Do you t*in& you ou(d
'(ea)eJ )end u) a rep(y
of Eu& off> or NO# intere)ted
)o 1e don;t *ave to 1a)te
more money )endin+ more tape):
t*an&). CN 'earD
Nirvana.
A 5 mint ondition noteboo& over 1it* N,R9ANA 1ritten in a )ty(e u)ed on ear(y )*o1 f(yer) for
t*e band
10 5 &urt;) obviou)(y dramati=ed revie1 of a N,R9ANA )*o1 1*ere *e rea(() +ettin+ *it in t*e
mout* 1it* t*e mi&e> +ettin+ in t*e eye by Kri)t;) ba))> and *ittin+ Kri)t 1it* *i) o1n +uitar. ?#*ey
1ere pretty b(oody.? Kurt rea(() p(ayin+ E(oyd t*e "arber and openin+ 1it* S*oo( at t*i) )*o1.
11 5 #*e over of JOURNALS 1it* t*e du)t Ga&et off> red 4ead noteboo& over> S&id Ro1 i)
ro))ed out> under(ined> and 1it* ?,f you read you;(( Gud+e? be(o1 t*at> t*e piture revea() a pa+e
1it* dar& pin& )ribb(e) on t*e ri+*t
1$51% 5 Kurt )e(f5te)t note) for obtainin+ a driver;) (ien)e> in(ude) )&et*e) of )treet )i+n)
Noteboo& %
1F 5 pen )&et* of a )tran+e reature 1it* 1*at appear) to be a )in+(e eyeba(( t*ou+* it) be)t
interprated individua((y> many )ma(( ir(e) u)ed to reate a ba&+round
po))ib(e Noteboo& $
16517 5 (etter to Dave Eo)ter dated 60$A0BB .$F:/ firin+ *im from N,R9ANA> one 1onder) if Kurt
1rote a draft of t*i) before )endin+ it a) t*ere are virtua((y no ro))ed out mar&in+) in t*e entire
t*ree pa+e)> (etter i) )i+ned to Kurt and C*ri) and in(ude) a 'S note )i+ned to #ray and
S*e((iappear) to be )oured from KeroKed pa+e)
1B 5 ?Ii> , don;t *ave Dy)(eKia? *i+*(y mar&ed5up (oo)e (eaf pa+e in(ude) t*e (ine ?it ou(d )ti(( be
fun to pretend? a) 1e(( a) ot*er a))orted ramb(in+) on (ife from t*e mind of Kurt Cobain>
)ome1*at tite(d ?Rever)ion Re(ap)e? t*ou+* random 1ord) and (ine) are )attered about t*i)
)*eet
1A5$0 5 Letter to 4ar& Lane+an )ee&in+ to o((aborate and befriend> 1a) apparent(y in(uded 1it*
a a))ette featurin+ ?)ome Ftr& me((o1 pretty> )(eep mu)i 1e;ve been doin+ for t*e pa)t oup(e
of mont*).? .1A/ @*ere it )ay) ?1e;ve? i) 1ritten in over t*e 1ord ?,;ve? a) Cobain attempt) to
)ound more (i&e a +roup t*an a )in+(e )on+1riter. Kurt a()o mention) *e 1ant) to ?put out a
a))ette of t*e)e )on+) L a oup(e ob)ure *eavy )on+) too.? .$0/ Kurt be+in) to )*o1 *i)
di)ontent 1it* Sub 'op in t*i) (etter due to un&ept promi)e) and de(ayed re(ea)e date).
Noteboo& F
$15$% 5 JOURNALS abrupt(y )1it*e) to a Cobain rant about +oin+ into a ?)emi *ypnoti )tate of
)ub5on)iou)ne))? and t*e po)ition of t*e )pira( bound inditate) at (ea)t one pa+e 1a) )&ipped
bet1een t*e prior pa+e> 1ritten 1it* t*e )ame uten)i( u)ed to 1rite t*e Lane+an (etter t*ou+* t*e
fina( (ine of pa+e $$> ?And )o 1*at? i) ro))ed out 1it* peni( and after 1*i* i) 1ritten i) ?one ,
)a1 Je)u) on a torti((a )*e((.? #*e rant ontinue) on to pa+e $%.
Noteboo& F
$%-
unertainty (i&e openin+ your
eye) 1ide in t*e dar& t*en (o)in+ t*em
*ard t*en open and b(inded by t*e )par&(in+
)i(ver dot) reated from pre))ure on t*e
ornea)> )<uint> ro((> fou)> t*en your
"(ind a+ain but at (ea)t you )a1 (i+*t
)ome*o1. maybe Cit 1a) toredMMMD t*e (i+*t
1a) )tored in t*e )o&et) or *e(d in t*e
iri) or (un+ to t*e tip) of a(( t*e nerve)
and vein). #*en your eye) (o)e a+ain
and an artifiia( (i+*t appear) before
t*e eye(id)> probab(y Gu)t a (i+*t bu(b
or a b(o1 tor*J Ge)u). it) *otJ my (a)*e)
and bro1) are ur(in+ up and me(tin+
emitin+ t*e 1or)t )me(( of burnt *air
and t*ru t*e Red tran)pareny of t*e
(i+*t in my eye(id) , an )ee a (o)e up vie1 of
"(ood e(() move a) , move my eye)
"a& and fort* (i&e foota+e of a
Doumentary of amoeba and pan&ton
Ge((y (i&e )ee t*ru (ife form) movin+
man t*ey mu)t be )ma(( , ant
fee( t*em my eye) mu)t be ab(e
to )ee t*in+ 4OR3 (ear(y
t*an , *ad eKpeted it) (i&e
a miro)ope but it doe)nt matter
anymore au)e t*ey )et me on fire no1
yep ,m )ure of it ,m on fire Nod damn.
$F 5 a KeroKed ver)ion of t*e ?4r 4ou)ta*e? artoon a) )een in Come A) 2ou Are by 4i*ae(
A==erad
$65$7 5 ?a (a)t attempt to ma&e it (ear t*at t*i) +ir( did not *ave do1n) )yndrome? reount) &urt;)
fir)t )eKua( eKperiene and a()o 1*at 1a) po))ib(y *i) fir)t )uiide attempt> if indeed it *appened.
?t*e train ame (o)er and (o)er but it 1ent on t*e tra& be)ide me in)tead of over me.? .$7/
Noteboo& 6
$B 5 Letter tryin+ to )e(( t*e band to a (abe(> t*i) time a)&in+ for a (oan in)tead of offerin+ to pay
t*e bi(() t*em)e(ve)
$A 5 Apparent(y tit(ed ?Lane Lin&? .t*i) part i) under(ined at (ea)t/
?After "eat Iappenin+
Crybaby L Ri*ard Simmon)
Iot Do+ eatin+ onte)t
M'eni) "a((oon in)ertion for eretion
M(i+*t bu(b )1a((o1er
R34
I Ro((in)
L Lun*
#ard)
"i(( 4urray (oun+e
Stair1ay to Ieaven
MDavey L No(iat*
"ro) Ouay
Spoon) ma+net) baby
%05%1 5 Letter to Je))e Reed. Kurt;) *i+* )*oo( friend.
%$ 5 KUR#S AR#@ORK ?Reed L 4a(oy? artoon rou+* )&et*e). ?Reed? i) po))ib(y Kurt;) friend
Je))e Reed.
%%5%6 5 N,R9ANA bio)> pa+e) %F56 are printed rat*er t*an *and1ritten
%H 5 Letter to 4ar& Lane+an
%7 5 N,R9ANA bio> t*i) pa+e ou(d u)e )omeone to tran)(ate t*e rever)e )ide> t*e teKt *ere i)
tran)ribed in t*e note) )etion at t*e ba& of JOURNALS
%B 5 ?#*in+) t*e band need) to do?
.1/ Send )ome fu&in+ demo tape)
+et *ad to fu&in+ for& over )ome money.
.$/ 'R3SS K,#
1/ +et a*o(d of *ar(e) and a(ie to +et )ome piture)
$/ *ave #am 1rite out a )tory (ine
%/ t*en opy t*em off. Simp(eJ
.%/ Eine a pratie p(ae
.F/ Ca(( Nann @ar)a1 in *ia+o. a)& if )*e *a) any onnetion) 1it* #ou*5n5+o. A()o a)& for
Ca (i)tD *er to )end a (i)t of prominent ma+a=ine) L reord )tore) t*at 1e ou(d ma&e more
ontat) 1it*.
.6/
%A 5 Ru(e) for t*e road 1*i(e tourin+ in(ude) ?NO u)e of any +a) orporation )ervie) be)ide)
3KKon. No eKeption).?
F0 5 KUR#S AR#@ORK ?"urnman? omi t*at ontain) a man +ettin+ )*ot t*rou+* t*e *e)t
F15$ 5 Kurt;) re)ume
F% 5 KUR#S AR#@ORK De)i+n of ad for ?'ine #ree Janitoria( Servie? ompany Kurt envi)ioned
)tartin+ 1it* Kri)t.
F6 5 ?Do1ner? (yri)
FH 5 ?E(oyd t*e "arber? (yri)
F75B 5 ?'aper Cut)? (yri)
FA 5 ?Iair)pray Oueen? (yri)
60 5 ?4eKian Seafood? (yri)
615$ 5 'romotion idea) for ?S*eep? a(bum
6% 5 ?'en Cap C*e1? (yri)
6F 5 ?Aero)=eppe(in? (yri)
665B 5 Eour (oo)e5(eaf pa+e) of Kurt 1ritin+ about 43L9,NS
6A 5 #yped pa+e tit(ed ?#*e 4eL9,NS are a(ive?
H05$ 5 ?#*i) i) an intervie1 t*at 1a) 1ritten )evera( 1ee&) after 4att t*e band in ot.? #*ree
pa+e) of unan)1ered <ue)tion) for a 4e(vin) intervie1. #*e irony i) too mu*.
H%5F 5 Letter to Da(e Crover
H6 5 #ra& (i)tin+ for ?#ou* N No Demo? a) fo((o1)-
f(oyd t*e barber
)pan& t*ru
*air)pray <ueen
Caero)=eppe(inD
meKian )eafood
bee)1aK
bean)
paper ut)
5555555555555555
"i+ *ee)e
Love "u==
Aero)=eppe(in
C'aper Cut)D
pen ap *e1
monta+e of *e&
P,t i) un&no1n if any o(d demo tape) *ave )urfaed 1it* t*i) tra& (i)tin+Q
HH 5 Kurt ta&in+ note) on )tudio o)t) and more
H7 5 4iK tape note)
HB 5 KUR#S AR#@ORK ?#*e Smi(ey;)? by ?Kurt Cobain? i) a fair(y out of ontro( and obnoKiou)
artoon
715$ 5 #1o5pa+e )tory of Kurt;) trip to a +uitar )tore
7% 5 Note) for a miK tape
7H57 5 ?#*e Story? A note on pa+e 77 at t*e top )ay) ?)&ip $ pa+e) and +o on55!? and t*e (ever
editin+ of t*e boo& indeed )&ip) t1o pa+e) and +oe) on to t*e on(u)ion of ?#*e Story>? *o1ever
pa+e 7B i) not in )e<uene 1it* t*e)e pa+e) Gud+in+ by t*e po)ition of t*e 1ire bin+in+ on pa+e
7B.
7B 5 Note) on redoin+ )on+) from t*e January $%> 1ABB demo for N,R9ANA;) future debut a(bum
before t*ey deided to )rap 1*at t*ey *ad and +o 1it* t*e ne1 )on+) t*ey 1rote 1it* C*ad.
Kurt de)ribe) t*i) )ituation in detai( durin+ an intervie1 1it* 4#9 from 1$.1%.A%
#*e bottom of t*e pa+e in(ude) a )et (i)t of ?Love "u== "i+ C*ee)e 3retum @eirdo "ee)1aK
Aero)=eppe(in 9endeta+ain)t AnnoreKori)t?
7A 5 #*e fina( pa+e of ?#*e Story?
B0 5 Li)t of )iK )on+) and a note to ?"rin+ SNAR3?
B1 5 'a+e of note) pertainin+ to fir)t N,R9ANA a(bum> tentative(y tit(ed ?Iuman) Are Dumb? and
ontainin+ t*e ori+ina( tra& order-
E(oyd t*e "arber
4eKian Seafood
'aper Cut)
Span& #*ru
Do1ner
'en Cap C*e1
Aero Reppe(in
B$5F 5 ?Criti Noe) Nod? t*ree pa+e rant
B6 5 4iK tape ompi(ation
BH 5 ?3(vi) Cooper? pen dra1in+ of 3(vi) *o(din+ a mirop*one 1it* A(ie Cooper ma&eup on *i)
fae. Simi(ar to t*e banner *un+ by N,R9ANA durin+ t*eir )*o1) in 1ABA.
B7 5 ?Aneury)m? (yri)
?Come on over L do t*e t1i)t
over do it L *ave a fit
Come on over L )*oot t*e )*it
, (ove you )o mu* it ma&e) me )i&
S*e &eep) it pumpin )trai+*t to my *eart?
BB 5 ?Sappy? (yri)
And if you )ave your)e(f
you 1i(( 5 t*in& your *appy
Ie(( &eep you in a Gar
t*en you(( 5 t*in& your *appy
*e;(( +ive you breat*er *o(e)
t*en you(( 5 t*in& your *appy
*e;(( over you in +ra))
t*en you(( 5 t*in& you *appy no1
.your in a (aundry room/
on(u)ion ame to you AI
and if you *ea( your)e(f
you 1i(( ma&e *im *appy
you(( 1a((1 in your )*it
and if you ure your)e(f
BA 5 ?9er)e C*oru) 9er)e? (yri)
A0 5 Stran+e artoon entit(ed ?CR2"A"2 J3RK,NS fou() it up a+ain? and in(ude) dra1in+ of
(un+5)*aped a)*tray> fea( matter> babie) ripped in piee)> and t*e 1ord ?Satan? 1ritten around
%0 time) at t*e bottom of t*e pa+e. KUR#S AR#@ORK
A1 5 ?Dive? (yri)
'i& me 5 pi& me yea*
Let a (ot (on+ )i+na(
At ea)e at (ea)t yea*
everyone i) Io((o1
'i& me 5 'i& me yea*
everyone i) 1aitin+
C, 1i((D 2ou an even pay t*em
Iey
Dive Dive Dive Dive in me
Ki)) t*i) &i)) t*at yea*
(et a (o1 (on+ )i+na( At ea)e at ea)e yea*
you an be my Iero
'i& me pi& me yea*
everyone i) C1aitin+ *o((o1D 1aitin+
Iit me Iit me yea*
C, an even )1a((o1D
,m rea( +ood at Iatin+
A$5% 5 Letter to 3u+ene Ke((y> KUR#S AR#@ORK on pa+e A% 1it* a )&et* of a bu&5toot*ed
(on+5*air named Dere&.
AF 5 Li)t of $A a(bum)
A6 5 ?, am t*reatened by ridiu(e 0 , am over(y oniene of C)inD t*e )inerity CofD in my voie 0 ,
(i&e to *ave )eK 1it* peop(e 0 , (ove my parent) yet , di)a+ree 1it* mere(y everyt*in+ t*ey )tand
for. 0 , under)tand and appreiate t*e va(ue of re(i+ion for C)ome peop(eD ot*er). 0 4y emotion) are
affeted by mu)i. 0 pun& ro& mean) freedom 0 , u)e bit) and piee) of ot*er) per)ona(itie) to
form my o1n.?
KUR# #ALK,NN A"OU# I,4S3LE
AH57 5 #1o5)ided pa+e of KUR# #ALK,NN A"OU# I,4S3LE
AB510$ 5 Eive probab(y on)eutive pa+e) of KUR# RAN#,NN
10% 5 )&et* de)i+n of t )*irt )a(e) di)p(ayin+ t*ree t )*irt de)i+n) t*at are <uite ob)ure> t*e mo)t
1e(( &no1n bein+ t*e Dante;) ,nferno ir(e). ?16.00 a peae? NO#3"OOK 6
10H 5 dra1in+ of a footba(( p(ayer 1earin+ amo *un+ by a noo)e 1it* a +un and +renade
atta*ed to *im KUR#S AR#@ORK noteboo& H
10B 5 tit(ed ?'rimary? and ontain) rou+* ver)e) for ?On A '(ain? and ?A(( Apo(o+ie)? 1ritten on
SCRA' 'A'3R
#*e )eond time 1e bro&e it off
C, *eardD Lo)t a voie )inerity 1a) 1a)*ed
i (ove my)e(f better t*an you 5 i &no1 it)
1ron+ )o 1*at )*ou(d i do:
im on a p(ain 5 i ant omp(ain
t*e 1Bt* time 1e bro&e it off
i *eartd a noi)e )o C1*iteD C)o 1e )*utMMMD 1e burnt a ro))
1e 1a(&ed CinD *and in *and in our parade
C1eD too& off our robe) and be+an CdoMMMD rape
Pt*ere are t1o )pae) *ere> it i) po))ib(e t*e)e ame from (yri )*eet) ompi(ed for t*e Ganuary
1)t 1AA1 )tudio )e))ion t*e band didQ
you )to(e t*in+) from me 5 a(( apo(o+ie)
i )to(e t*in+) from you 5 i 1i(( )tand au)ed
1*at e()e an i do 5 i be(on+ to you
1*at e()e an t*ere be 5 a(( apo(o+ie)
1*at e()e an i )ay 5 a(( my 1ord) are +rey
1*at e()e )*ou(d i 1rite: i dont 1ant to fi+*t
*o1 e()e ou(d i fee(: 5 a(( our (ip) are )ea(ed
1*at do you eKpet: 5 im a nervou) 1re&
in t*e )un in t*e )un i fee( a) one
in t*e in C)unD SUN im married
marria+e
yea* yea* yea* yea*
L2R,CS
10A 5 tit(ed ?Not Eini)*ed? ontain) a (yri )*eet for ?, #*in& C, AmD ,m Dumb? .1e note of ?4o((y;)
Lip)> S(u&y 5 9a)e(ine)?/ and it apparent(y on(y 1ent t*rou+* one revi)ion pa)t t*i) draft. #*e
(ine ?@i)* a1ay 5 t*e )ou( i) *eap? i) rep(aed by ?breat*e a1ay 5 t*e )ou( i) 1ea&? t*ou+* t*ere
are )evera( ro))ed out portion) ontain+ t*e 1ord) ?fee()? and ?*eap.? NO#3"OOK 6
11$ 5 t*ree fi+ure out(ine) NO#3"OOK "LACK CO93R
117 5 Contain) t*ree t )*irt )&et*e)> and a dra1in+ of eKat(y 1*at appear) in t*e *eart )*aped
boK video5 and a(man on a ro)) 1it* ro1)> eKept in t*i) )&et* *ere *e i) 1earin+ a pump&in
on *i) *ead. #*ree )perm are a()o )een )1immin+ aro)) t*e pa+e. KUR#S AR#@ORK
noteboo& "LACK CO93R
1$0 5 'O34
, )tarted it fir)t
, )tarted it fir)t
,t 1a) me
me
,,m t*e one
, 1a) t*e ori+inator
,(( ta&e t*e b(ame
me
it 1a) me
, 1a) t*e int)ti+ator
t*e +randfat*er
t*e fir)t and foremo)t
, 1a) doin it (on+
"e(fore anyone
,t 1a) me
,(( ta&e a(( t*e b(ame
,(( ta&e fu(( re)pon)ibi(ity
4y fau(t
, )tarted it a((
, )tarted it fir)t
me
,m t*e one
"(ame me
point t*e fin+er at me
Iere) my reeipt
@*ere do , )i+n:
+ive me 1*at) o1ed to me
+ive me 1*at) ri+*tfu((y mine
+ive me 1*at , de)erve
P(oo&) (i&e it 1a) 1ritten fa)t> but , am no *and1ritin+ eKpert> ma&e 1*at you 1i(( of it and t*e
entire pieeQ
1$1 5 ?,dea) for 9ideo? ontain) p)y*ede(i mu)*room) you an )uppo)ed(y +et from Ii+*
#ime) and a evi( (o1n p(ayed by Kri)t. A()o ontain) t1o reipe) for ?"eef Stro&in5off? and
?4om) )ea)*e(( )*rimp )a(ad? per*ap) on(y partia((y in Kurt;) *and1ritin+. #*ere i) a (ar+e )tain
and a *un& of t*i) pa+e *a) been ripped out> for better or 1or)e.
1$$ 5 ?Ki(( #*e Ro&efe((er)?
1$% 5 Draft of tra& (i)tin+ for ?Nevermind?
'5Ro& S territoria( pi))in+)
)omedayS o(d a+e
memoriaS aya
)eond timeS on a p(ain
mommaS end(e)) name(e))
1*at i needS:::
1$H 5 ?Opinion? (yri )*eet
Con+ratu(ation) you *ave 1on 5 it) a
year) )ub)ription of bad pun) 5 and a
ma&e )*ift )tory of onern 5 and to
)et it up before it burn) 5 my
opinion
no1 t*ere )eem) to be a prob(em *ere
t*e )a(e of emotion) )eem too (ear 5
no1 t*ere 5 ri)e L fa(( (i&e 1a(( )treet )to&
and t*ey 5 *ave an effet no our peae ta(&)
my opinion
1%15$ 5 (etter to 3u+ene
1%% 5 a(bum over de)i+n for ?N,R9ANA Sin+)... )on+) of D39O @,'3RS 9AS3L,N3S L
N,R9ANA? 1*i* *a) t*e band dre))ed for *oir )in+in+ *ymn) a) )ome +apin+ mout*
ariature).
1%F 5 (i)t of po))ib(e produe) to *oo)e from for N393R4,ND ironia((y in(ude) ?Nun) L
Ro)e)>? 1*i* di)(aim) Kurt;) ori+ina( <uote of not bein+ ab(e to t*in& of a )in+(e t*in+ *e (i&ed
about t*eir mu)i.
1%H5B 5 (yri )*eet) for teen )pirit a()o ontain) bit) of ?On A '(ain? and ?Ieart S*aped "oK?
1%A 5 1ritten on t*e ba& of one of t*e noteboo&)> ontain) idea) for t*e fir)t ver)e of t*e ?,n
"(oom? video t*at 1ere not u)ed> in)tead )ome 1ere u)ed in ?Ieart S*aped "oK? video in(udin+
t*e KKK *at b(o1in+ off t*e (itt(e +ir(.
1F0 5 ?Lit*ium? (yri)
1F1 5 ?Sme(() Li&e #een Spirit? (yri).
1F$ 5 ?,n "(oom? (yri)
1F% 5 ?9er)e C*oru) 9er)e? ontain) bit) of (yri) from ?On A '(ain? a) 1e(( a) one of t*e p*ra)e)
u)ed in t*e (yri monta+e in t*e N393R4,ND (iner- ?at t*e end of rainbo1) and Ct*e endD of your
rope?
1FF 5 ?9er)e C*oru) 9er)e? (yri )*eet ontain) (yri) to t*e )on+ ommon(y referred by o((etor)
a) ?,n Ii) Iand)?
Neit*er )ide i) )ared 5 No one 1ant) to
1in 5 fee(in+ )o )edated t*in& ,(( Gu)t
+ive in 5 #a&in+ mediation ti(( my
)toma*) fu(( 5 ,m a moody CatMMMD baby
+ra)) i) +reener i) 5 over *ere 5
youre ,
Reinventin+ 1*at 1e &noe1
, ant 1ait unti( im )ued
1F6 5 ?Come A) 2ou Are? (yri )*eet
1FH 5 ?Loun+e At? (yri )*eet
1F7 5 ?On A '(ain? (yri )*eet
1FB 5 ?needed 0 va(ue) 0 per)petive) 0 nee))itie) 0 e))entia()? 1ritten in t*e top ri+*t orner of
t*e ot*er1i)e empty pa+e.
#*i) pa+e ou(d u)e )omeoen to tran)(ate t*e ot*er )ide 1*i* an a(mo)t <uite (ear(y be read
t*rou+* t*e pa+e.
1FA 5 'urp(e noteboo& over 1it* ?93RS3 CIORUS 93RS3 CIORUS SOLO CIORUS
CIORUS? 1ritten on it
160 5
16$ 5 KUR#S AR#@ORK
16% 5 Nreen noteboo& over 1it* ?Done? under(ined> ?No Nood? 1ritten in t*e top ri+*t orner and
?Loun+e At? 1ritten in t*e midd(e
16H5A 5 "and bio t*at 1a) never u)ed.
1H0 5 mo)t (i&e(y idea) for ?Sme(() Li&e #een Spirit? video
1H$ 5 ?Ii) Ga1 dropped. and off )(id *i) fine(y )u(pted> bo*emian +oatee.?
1H% 5 Kurt e(aborate) on *i) urrent top nine favorite band) and a()o dra1) an ara*y )ymbo( in
t*e top ri+*t orner
Kurt Cobain - "Journals" - Page 164
YEAH, And then they wiped their butts with it then set it on fire!
rebabilitation, sympathy: Groups. usually small, non profit or state funded
organizations directed towards helping rape ictims cope with the crimes on them.
brought upon them, also !nown as rape crisis centers or planned parenthood who by
the way hae now """ #ust recently been instructed warned that it now is unlawful
soon will be unlawful for doctors """ wor!ing at these centers $usually on a oluntary
basis% to offer young pregnant women eery option aailable, meaning: abortion
&hey are not allowed to suggest the option of abortion.
""" ' wonder if it was unintentional """ decision to leae out such for you on
your part to leae out such a ital !ey words as such as sympathy or rebabilitation,
instead, leaing the word (group( all by its lonesome to deceiingly ma!e this
rediculous little )uote to read as if ' were attac!ing other groups $meaning *oc!
+ands% for inefficiently for addressing rape and in term so righteously claiming, that
the song ,olly was intended to written as a rebuttle towards these groups or $your
so-called $*oc! +ands% and to claim that this $,olly% song is """ """ """ our +and
$.'*/A.A% hae conciously decided that it is our deout crusade for us, as a band,
to teach men not to rape. """ """ """ 0e find it ery frustrating to engage in a 1
Hour in depth interiew and to waste these
Notes in left margin not really fitting into rest of text:
this is happening in the u.s. so why should you care" it could probably happen here
as well.
and
not point
Kurt Cobain - "Journals" - Page 165
two hours giing what we felt was a pretty insightful 2222 3can(t understand what
that word is supposed to be4 and then it turns out, only a few embarrasingly 2222
3again can(t understand the word, misgusted" misguited"4 words were used, ma!ing
it not to mention one )uote literally stolen from another article a few months later
ago from .5E $guns n roses Attac!% and in the end ma!ing it seem As if were A
band who hae nothing better to say than garbled-second rate political ranting, we
are not politically correct, but yes we do feel hae opinions on these """ 2222 3pretty
hard to ma!e out what has been written oer there4 but we don(t desere the illusie
display of the .e6t Guns and roses your most responsible for the e!6hageratd
7ommercial Hype
A8 +eing solely A political band, it(s )uite obious that were not )ualified or
prolific enough to een try. thats why 9:; of our interiews consist of half witted
tal! about music or our pets and when s)ueezed out of us about <:; of sincere,
politically personal iewpoints are reealed, and why is this" learning the hard way,
to not be able to trust the ma#ority of the incestually-competitie english #ournalists,
tal! about politics shall we" how many sadistic times hae #ournalists of both papers
Kurt Cobain - "Journals" - Page 166
stabbed one Another in the bac!, lied or proided faors in order to beat one another
for a coer story """ with the same band" er, #ust A guess, sensationalist tabloids are
)uite harmless and its understandable why they are needed when the ma#ority of
present roc! bands hae nothing to say musically but musical inspiration seems to
hae been deformed by the icious and selfsering pleasure of the #ournalist which
naturally incites bands to become paranoid =efensie, >aded, abusie and
uncooperatie. the english #ournalist is a masochistic second rate self apointed #udge
who couldnt ma!e it to becoming a therapist mental therapist, theyre enemic,
clammy, physically deformed, gnome-li!e, internally upset with A dysfunctional
ability to stabilize a relationship $e6cept with eachother% and sincerely masochistic
who would bathe in the glamour of nude photos of themseles with handcuffs behind
the bac!, on their !nees wearing a diaper with a """ rubber coc! stuffed in their
mouth, and these photos pasted on eery coer magazine in Europe. the rials and
the poachers shall one day ban together to paint one tabloid-""" monthly.
and the wea! crumbs will report to the custodial Arts . """ """
loe !ur-d-t ?oebane
Notes in left margin not really fitting into rest of text:
we gleefully decline the opportunity to +e rape by the limey >ournalist. +y saying to
future 2222 3can(t figure out that word4" .o than!s
.o than! you
1H757$ 5 Letter to #obi 9ai(> )uppo)ed(y 1ritten )*ort(y after t*e reordin+ of Nevermind
Kurt Cobain - "Journals" - Page 167
Hi,
Yeah, all 'sms feed off one another, but at the top of the good chain is still the
white, corporate macho, strong o6en of male. .ot redeemable as far as im
concerned. ' mean, classism is determined by se6ism because the male decised
whether e6ism All other isms still e6ists still. its up to men. racism is
se6ism """ """ """ e6plain. 'm #ust saying that people cant deny any ism or thin!
that some are more or less subordinate. +ut ' still thin! that in order to e6cept for
se6ism. He(s in charge. He decides. ' still thin! that in order to e6pand on all other
isms, se6ism has to be blown wide open, its li!e when you 'ts almost impossible to
de program the incestually-established male oppressor """ li!e especially the ones
whoe been weaned on it thru their familys generations li!e die hard ..*.A freA!s
and inherited, corporate, power mongrels, the ones who were born into no choice but
to !eep the torch and only let spar!s fall for the rest of us to gather at their feet. +ut
there are thousands of Green minds, young gullable <@ year old +oys out there #ust
starting to fall into the grain of what theye been told of what a man is supposed to
be, and there are plenty of tools to use the most &he most effectie tool is
entertainment. &he entertainment industry is #ust now
Kurt Cobain - "Journals" - Page 168
starting to accept us $mainly because of trendy falseness on enironmentally socially
concience hype% ie. the new 9:(s Attitude, which is at a total standstill because Af
the patriotic, aftermath of the war and all its .uhrembery rally-parades% but theyre
wing 5E='A! 5edia. 5a#or labels. $ $the eil corporate Appressors, $god ' need a
new word!% the ones who are in ?Ahoots with the goernment, the ones the
underground moement went into rtaliation against in the early B:(s,% the
corporations are finally allowing subersie supposedly subersie, alternatie
thin!ing bands to hae a loan of money to e6pose their crusade, whethere Abiously
they arent doing thi for!ing out loans for this reason, but more because it loo!s to be
a moneyt ma!ing commodity. but we can use them! 0e can pose as the enemy to to
infiltrate the mechanics of the system to start its rot from the inside. 8abotage the
empire by pretending to play their game. 7ompromise #ust enough to call their bluff.
And the hairy, sweaty, macho, se6ist dic!heads will soon drown in a pool of
razorblades and semen, stemmed from the uprising of their children, the armed and
deprogrammed crusade, littering the floors of 0All street with reolutionary debris.
Assasinating both the lesser and greater of two eils. bringin an eerlasting, sterile
and bacterial herbacious and botanical and corporate cleansing for our
Kurt Cobain - "Journals" - Page 169
ancestors to gaze in wonderment and Awe. Awe! geezus christ. $repeat%: posing as
the enemy to infiltrate the mechanics of the empire and slowly start its rot from the
inside, its an inside #ob - it starts with the custodians and the cheerleaders. And ends
with the entertainers.
&he youth are waiting, impatiently.
Homophobe accectomy.
'ts li!e what ?athleen said about how in school there was this class that you
went to and they were teaching the girls how to prepare themseles for rape and
when you loo!ed outside and saw the rapers outside playing football and you said
Cthey are the ones who should be in here being taught not to rapeC.
How true! suc! em in with )uality entertainment and hit em with reality.
&he reolution will be teleised.
&heres this new 1D hour channel on cable called the 9:s, which is aailable
only in a few states so far and it(s magazine ersion can be seen on pbs $public
broadcasting system% """ once a wee! its ,retty damn informatie and it e6poses
in#ustices """ in a !ind of conseratie-Eliberal format, but its new so it has to be
that way. 'e seen it a few times and reAlly li!ed it Also .ight flight is bac!. You
?now, the show that used to play new wAe theatre"
0e plan to use these shows and more others if gien the chance. Yeah '
!now, 'm a confused, uneducated, wal!ing clichF, but ' dont need to be inspired any
longer, #ust supported.
Kurt Cobain - "Journals" - Page 170
Ah yeah, Gluttony. ' hae almost forgot Gluttony. &he band now has an image: the
inti-gluttony, materialism G consumersim image which we plan to incorperate into all
of our ideos. &he first one: 8mells li!e teen spirit. 0ill hae us wal!ing through a
mall throwing thousands of dollars into the air as mall-goers scramble li!e ulchers
to collect as much as they can get their hands on, then we wal! in a #ewelry store G
smash it up in anti-materialism """ fueled, pun! roc! iolence.
""" the we go to A pep Assembly at a High school And the cheerleAders hae
Anarchy 3H- A here is proper Anarchy-symbol4 A(s on their sweaters and the
7ustodian-miltant-reolutionarys hand out guns with flowers in the barrels to all the
cheering students who file down to the center court and throw their money G >ewelry
G Andrew dice 7lay &apes into A big pile then we set it on fire and run out of the
building screaming. Ah, didnt twisted 8ister already do this"
&hings that hae been ta!en from me within the past 1 months: < wallet,
driers license etc. ID::.:: three guitars $including the moserite% all my neato J:(s
effect bo6es, apartment and phone. but today ' got a really neato left handed KJ
fender >aguar, which is in my opinion, almost as cool as a mustang. 8o ' consider it a
fair trade for the morerite
Kurt Cobain - "Journals" - Page 171
while staying in LA.
0e almost got !illed by gang members.
0ell, sort of.
=ae Mranz and ' were in the par!ing lot of a famous, female-mudwrestler-
night club scoring lewds, when all of a sudden two gass guzzling cars pulled up ne6t
to us and fie cho-los with !nies and guns wal!ed oer to the car closest to ours
and started yelling G cursing in gang lingo at eachother. +ut then by the motto of C&o
protect and sereC the cops show up, which insighted the gang bangers to flee away
in their cars, resulting in a hot pursuit - car chase. &here were een helicopters with
search lights.
.eedless to say we scored our lewds and split. 0e played a reAlly fun
show with fitz of =epression at a really small coffee house called the #abber#aw. 0e
were indescribably fuc!ed up on booze and drugs, out of tune and rather uh, sloppy.
't too! me about fifteen minute to change my guitar string while people hec!led and
called me drun! *obyn Nander. $cheap tric! leAd singer"%
After the show ' ran outside and omited. then ' came bac! in to find
'ggy ,op there so ' gae him a sloppy-,u!e breAth ?iss and hug. He(s A reAlly
friendly and cool and nice and interesting person. 't was probably the most flattering
moment of my life.
Kurt Cobain - "Journals" - Page 172
As you may hae guessed by now 'e been ta!ing a lot of drugs lately
't might be time for the +etty ford 7linic or the *ichard .i6on library to sae
me from abusing my enemic, rodent-li!e body any longer. ' cant wait to be bac! at
home $whereer that is% in bed, neurotic and malnourished and complaining how the
weathers suc!s! and its the whoole reason for my misery. ' miss you, +i!ini ?ill.
' totally loe you.
?urdt
177 5 ?Come A) 2ou Are? video idea)> in(ude) a )&et* )imi(ar to t*e ima+e) found on t*e ?Come
A) 2ou Are? )in+(e a) 1e(( a) fat babie) and do((ar )i+n). Kurt ma&e) it (ear on t*i) pa+e *e
1anted t*e band) fae) ob)ured and an ?B0T b(ue 0 purp(e o(or )*eme? a) 1e(( a) 1antin+
)imi(ar effet) a) 4a==y Star and Ro((in+ Stone) mu)i video).
17B 5
MELVINS
They have Reagan or Bush vote Republican stickers on the bumper of their van to fen
off nasty Roney !ing "ops
#ll three members consistently sculpt various $isplays% moels
of the &oatee facial hair fashion oh e'cept for peach fu(()
pie eye) baby face) Sometimes pinch an inchish) sometimes #nnore'orcist)
skin tight purple Levis *earin) +immy from ,R -uffnstuff haircut)
e'.Tea hea) smoking non smoker $/ale%all aroun nice guy /ale "rover
0h by the *ay he1s the best rummer in the *orl
1B0 5 )imp(e )&et* of a )ea*or)e> a (i+*tbu(b> and a )tran+e faed reature KUR#S AR#@ORK
1B156 5 ?O* #*e Nui(t? (on+ piee by ?KurDt di)(aimer5boy.? 1B15F are *and1ritten ver)ion 1*i(e
pa+e 1B6 i) type1riter type 1it* )ome additiona( pen mar&in+).
1BH 5 ?D3UJA 9OO5 DOO? by ?KurDt Kobain? i) a typed para+rap* ontainin+ )ome of Kurt;)
mo)t u)ed p*ra)e) a) 1e(( a) t*e 1ord) ?1omban? and ?1omben? 1ritten on t*e pa+e a) 1e((.
1B7 5 ?Erane) Earmer @i(( Iave Ier Reven+e On Seatt(e? (yri )*eet> t*ou+* not tit(ed a) )u*.
it) )o re(ievin+ to &no1 t*at your (eavin+
a) )oon a) you +et paid
it) )o re(aKin+ to &no1 t*at your a)&in+
it) )o )oot*in+ to &no1 t*at you(( )ue me
1*enever you +et t*e *ane
it) )o re(i+iou)
noteboo& IARDCO93R NR33N
1BB 5 ?Ieart S*aped "oK? (yri)> t*ere i) a (ar+e *un& ripped out in an ar on t*e bottom *a(f of
t*e pa+e a) 1e(( a) a ye((o1 )tain
)*e eye) me (i&e a pi)e) 5 1*en , am 1ea&
,ve been buried in your *eart )*aped boK for 1ee&)
,ve been dra1n into your ma+net tar pit trap
, 1i)* , ou(d eat your aner 1*en you
turn b(a&
Iey 5 1ait 5 ,ve +ot a ne1 omp(aint
for ever in debt to your prie(e)) advie
Iate 5 1ait 5 ?
S*e frie) me (i&e o(d ,e ream 5 *eada*e) and *i(()
,(( oo& my o1n mea()
1BA 5
-age 234
uncertainty certainty
I *ish there *as someone I coul ask for avice5
Someone *ho *ouln1t make me feel like a creep
for spilling my guts an trying to e'plain all
the insecurities that have plague me for oh) about 67
years no*5 I *ish someone coul e'plain to me
*hy e'actly I have no esire to learn anymore
*hy I use to have so much energy an the nee
to search for miles $for% an *eeks for anything ne*
an ifferent5 e'citement5 I *as once a magnet
for attracting ne* off beat personalities *ho *oul
introuce me to music an books $that% of the
obscure an I *oul soak it into my system
like a rabi se' cra(e 8unkie hyperactive mentally retare
toler *ho1s 8ust ha her first taste of sugar5 This *eeks
obsession) vagina meical books) the meat puppets an
1A% 5 ?Dumb? (yri) a()o ontain) fretboard )&et*e) at top of pa+e. #*i) pa+e 1a) obviou)(y
revi)ed at a different time).
1A6 5 ?C*o1 , dont do dru+) anymoreD 2ea*> , 1ent on a % 1ee& dru+ bin+e and no1 ,m t*ou+*t of
a) a) emaiated> ye((o1 )&inned> =ombie (i&e5 evi( dru+ fiend> Gun&y> CdriftD (o)t au)e> on t*e brin&
of Deat*> )e(f de)trutive> )e(fi)* pi+> A (o)er 1*o )*oot) up in t*e ba&)ta+e area Gu)t )eond)
before C+oin+ onD a performane.?
1AH 5 KUR#S AR#@ORK ?#*e many mood) of &urdt &obain? by ?Kurdt Cobain? ontain) )ome
fair(y 1e((5&no1n p*oto) a(tered and o((a+ed. #*i) piee of mentioned in ?Ieaver #*an Ieaven.?
1A75B 5 #1o5)ided pa+e of Kurt 1ritin+ about *i) dru+ u)a+e.
1AA 5 Letter to 4#9
?Dear 3mpty #9
t*e entity of a(( orporate
Nod).
*o1 fu&in+ dare you embrae
)u* tra)* Gourna(i)m from an
over1ei+*t> unpopu(ar at *i+* )*oo>
o1 1*o )evere(y need) *er &arma
"ro&en. my (ife) Dediation
i) No1 to Do Not*in+ "ut )(a+ 4#9 and
Lynn Ier)*ber+
1*o by t*e 1ay i) in &a*oot) 1it*
*er (over Kurt Loder .Nin "(o))om drun&/J
1e 1i(( )urvive 1it*out
you. ea)i(y
t*e o(d )*oo( i) +oin+
Do1n fa)t
Eu&fae
Kurt Kobain
'rofe))iona(
Ro& mu)iian?
N,R9ANA (a)t did an intervie1 1it* Kurt Loder in mid5Deember 1AA%.
$0051 5 ?Radio Eriend(y Unit S*ifter? (yri)> ea* pa+e 1ritten at different time)> fir)t i) tit(ed ?F
mont* media b(a&out? and )eond i) tit(ed ?C1$D A 4ont* 4edia "(a&out?
$0$ 5 Li)t of favorite a(bum) a()o ontain) a p*one number for ?Ja&ie? po))ib(y former nanny for
t*e Cobain)> Ja&ie Earry.
$0% 5 Eront and ba& of a po)tard to ?,an and Ni&&i? t*e +o5+o daner) on)ta+e durin+
N,R9ANA;) Ia((o1een 1AA1 performane. #*e front of t*e po)tard *a) been a(tered by Kurt.
KUR#S AR#@ORK
-age 69:
,i Ian an Nikki)
,appy Ne* year) Merry ;mas ,appy ,allo*een) ,appy Valentines ay) ,appy
Thanksgiving) ,appy Birthay5 Maybe sometime ne't year I coul s<uee(e my friens
into my Rock.scheule an *e all coul go Shriner Bo*ling5
Love !urt
$0F 5 KUR#S AR#@ORK ?S1in+er)? i) 1ritten atop t*e pa+e. #*e Seatt(e @ee&(y *a) a fair
revie1 of JOURNALS *ere . *ttp-00111.)eatt(e1ee&(y.om0feature)00$6$0art)5appe(o.)*tm( / and
t*i) i) an eKerpt from t*at reive1-
?Revie*ers are forbien to reprouce page 69= of Journals> It cuts too eep5 0n it)
"obain took the comic.book version of his life story) tore out the cartoon portrait of his
hea heroically shrieking) ?@ith the lights out) itAs less angerousB ,ere *e are no*)
entertain us)? an re* onto it a sketch of his emaciate boy Cof *hich he *as
ashameD5 ItAs the finest ra*ing in the book) vaguely &eorge &ros(.like) an a far better
evocation of his self.image than the many verbal be*ailments of his skinny physi<ue5
The self.portrait is very like the painting Cglimpse in Kurt & CourtneyD that he gave
first.love Tracy Maraner) epicting a skeleton resembling an alien5 ,e felt like an alien
as a ki Cthe meaning of his song lyric ?@hen I *as an alien?D) an the cartoon e'presses
his eeper alienation in aulthoo5 The ra*ing is meant to contrast the muscular comic.
book hero hea..the public myth..*ith the shabby private reality of the ?#usch*it(?
boy5
#bove the ra*ing) he clippe si' lines from #licia 0strikerAs brilliant poem) ?# Eoung
@oman) a Tree5? 0striker is a @illiam "arlos @illiams #*ar. *inning poet) but sheAs
not famous5 "obain love to seek inspiration in out.of.the.*ay places) like fining the
S*ans recor ?Raping a Slave? in a seconhan store5 CThat tune appears on his list of
inspirational music) ?Top 79 by NIRV#N#)? in the 8ournalsD5
? 5#im Appe(o
t*e poem partia((y read) a) fo((o1)-
Passing that fiery tree--if only she could
Be making love,
Be making poetry,
Be exploding, be speeding through the universe
ike a photon, like a sho!er
"f yello! bla#es--
Pt*e above 1a) t*e portion u)ed by Kurt> be(o1 i) a ontinuation of t*e poemQ
$he believes if she could only overtake
%he riding rhythm of things,
"f her o!n electrons,
%hen she !ould be at rest
&f she could forget school,
Climb the tree,
Be the tree,
Burn like that'
$06 5 2e((o1 noteboo& over 1it* E(ipper (o+o )&et* underneat* 1*i* i) 1ritten ?@a)*ed up>
*a) been> dru+ addit).?
$0H511 5 S&et*e)> note)> and idea) re(atin+ to +uitar. ,n(ude) t*e Ja+5)tan+ po(aroid o((a+e on
$07.
$1$ 5 ?A(( Apo(o+ie)? (yri)
1it* t*e p*ra)in+ , a((o1 my)e(f it i)nt very ea)y to
be CveryD (yria((y pro(ifi
C, (i&e Nir()D
"oy) 1rite )on+) for +ir() 5 1*at a )imp(e 1or(d
*o1 t*e *e(( do , 5 Kno1 1*at on in)ide
1*at e()e )*ou(d , )ay: 5 A(( my 1ord) are +rey
1*at e()e ou(d , 1rite: 5 ,m )orry , am 1*ite
)u* an ea)y t*in+ 5 )u* a )*iny rin+
(et me +ro1 )ome brea)t) 5 , *eated on my te)t
, dont *ave t*e ri+*t 5 to )ay 1*at) on your mind
your not a((o1ed to )in+ 5 a(( apo(o+ie)
in t*e )un in t*e )un i fee( a) one in t*e )un
in t*e )un im married and buried
you *ave every ri+*t 5 to 1ant to )tart a fi+*t
Ctreated (i&e a do+D
Cit) +one on too (on+ 5 treated (i&e Cdo+)MMMD t*eir do+)D
)u* an ea)y t*in+ 5 (et my )i)ter )in+
1*at e()e an i do: 5 im in (ove 1it* you
$1%5F 5 Letter to Dona(d Cobain
$16 5 EaK from Steve A(bini )ent November 1A> 1AA$ upon 1*i* i) 1ritten variou) note) on
mirop*one) and ot*er te*nia( information re+ardin+ reordin+ by Kurt
$1H 5 4ore te*nia( note) re+ardin+ reordin+ in(udin+ information on drum mi)> amp )ettin+)>
and de)i+nin+ a ?muff(e *amber.?
$17 5 ?Ne1 idea) for 4e(vin)? ontain) eKten)ive note) on reordin+ Da(e Crover;) drum )et.
-age 62F
Ne* ieas
for Mevins
-ut mics insie Toms
Recor ale *ith cymbals
,eavily tape so they make
No NoiseG This *ill allo* us
to use the room mics a lot louer
then ub cymbal$s% crashes later5
-ut three mics on the snare
one of them *ill be recore
Very Very hot to the point
of istortion after about $6% = bs
#n 6 more room mics
besies the little schapes room
mics about : feet a*ay
from kick an snare
More chorus on Bass guitar5
Hse very irectional mics for this Ithis line has an arro* pointing to ?from kick an
snare?J
$1B 5 Rou+* de)i+n of t*e ?, Iate 4y)e(f and , @ant to Die? a(bum 1ritten in an eKtrava+ent font.
A'R At* affron MMM
may% 5 )pin aid)
ian m&ay
N,R9ANA
, *ate my)e(f and , 1ant to die
?1. Serve t*e Servant)
$. Sent(e)) apprentie
%. Ieart S*aped "oK
F. 'ennyroya( tea
6. Erane) Earmer 1i(( *ave *er reven+e on Seatt(e
H. 3u)taion tube .turret)/
7. MDumb
B. Rape me
A. 9ery ape
10. 4i(& it
11. Eour mont* media b(a&out
1$. 9er)e *oru) ver)e
1%. MLa (a (a .a(ternateen ant*em/
DNC Lp
David Neffen
Sub 'op PSU" 'O' (o+o adGaent to printed 1ord)Q
'rodued by a di& in t*e )no1 Eeb 1$5$H 1AA%
'er)onne(-
mrpi))y- +uitar 0 mout*
)uavy )moot*- ba))
Go&o aidente- po(yr*yt*m)
Cvio(inD e((o on M?
?3u)taion #ube? (ater beame ?tourette;)> ?Eour 4ont* 4edia "(a&out? (ater beame ?Radio
Eriend(y Unit S*ifter>? ?9er)e C*oru) 9er)e? i) mo)t (i&e(y t*e )on+ a()o &no1n a) ?Sappy>? and
?La La La? beame ?A(( Apo(o+ie).?
$1A5$0 5 Letter to Simon Eair 1*ere Kurt a)&) Simon to dra1 piture) for t*e over of ?, Iate
4y)e(f and , @ant to Die.? #*i) (etter *ad a(ready been in iru(ation prior to t*e pub(iation of
JOURNALS.
,i Simon)
Thanks a loa for the
ra*ings) pictures an music5
They1re the best presents I1ve $gotten% receive
in a really long timeG
I looove the stinky
puffsG an *oul love to hear
more once you all recor some
more5 I *as *onering if
you *oul be intereste in ra*ing
some pictures for the cover of
the ne't NIRV#N# recor *ich *ill
be reay to sell once *e have the
art *ork one5 I think you ra*
really goo an ..............K CoverD
-age 669
It *oul mean a lot to me if
you1 consier it5 ,ere1s some
ieas I ha5
NIRV#N# I hate myself an I *ant to ie /ave "hris n !urt
or
*hatever you *ant
It *oul be great if you re* about 7 or
more or less so *e have plenty to choose bet*een5
The title of the album is rather negative
but kin of funny5 Its calle> I hate myself an I *ant to ie5
,ere1s some info that nees to be *ritten for the back of the L-
/ave . rums5 "hris . bass5 !urt &eetar.n.mouth5
/5&5"5 recors an sub pop5 Recore by steve albini5
"ello on La La La L umb oh) an art*ork
by Simon Timony
@ell) bye
*rite back soon L
Love !urt ,i +aG
$$1 5 #op 10 a(bum)> p(u) more
$$$5H 5 unu)ed ?(iner note)? for ,n Utero
$$7 5 note) for (on+5form N,R9ANA *ome video re(ea)e
-age 66F
!evin L co
for the Long form
on #nurysm
0n #nurysm> !eep the #uio from the #msteram sho* but keep the eits from the
same
25 0N #nurysm> !eep #msteram auio *hen first change happens ie kurt in over coat
65 Take out /ave L "hris playing #erosmith song
:5 -ut subtitle in MBronchitisN flashing throughout /ive
=5 Vieo footage of us *ith +ason Mthe early yearsD put in subtitle O +ason everman guitar
cha channing rums Rhino Recors L# 335 Song Sifting
7 cut out the last half of ave talking about ne* bans
P start my rant 8ust as I say Black flag flipper then finish the rest leave the rest5
F sub title O Rock.star lesson> sing as out of tune as your guitar is *hen your guitar is out
of tune) sing out of tune along *ith it
for "ome as H are
35 Englans prestigious Top of the pops e<uivalent of HS #merican Banstan5
"ut to 2
st
IN Bloom vieo *e i *ith one camera in resses estroying the set5
45 Replace molly1s lips *ith Reaing version *ith Eugene singing
# the scene *here I han the guitar to the auience5 I think it1s from Reaing
#n the penis an flo*er petal in face in camera performance piece kurt oes in Rio
$$B 5 Kurt;) idea( 1ay of re(ea)in+ ,n Utero
$$A 5 1*at Kurt (i&e)
$%0 5 (i)t of independant reord (abe()
$%1 5 Ieart S*aped "oK video idea)
$%$ 5 1*y pun& ro& i) dead
-age 6:6
Eour #ll absolutely one hunre percent correct5 I *as severely *rong *hen I *rote
MQor me -unk Rock is ea5 #lthough it is ea for me *hich *ere the key *ors I
*rote in those oh so negative an retare linear notes5 The t*o *ors for *as miss
printe at the /&" printing offices *hen they translate my han*riting5 Instea The
*or to *as use instea of for *hich is a very common occurance *hen ealines are
ue an people are scratching like Me'ican fighting cocks to get an approval for
something as non important as liner notes to a B.sie cash co*5 Ees friens5 -unk rock
is ea for me5
$%%56 5 ?(etter to t*e editor? on art> Gourna(i)t)> et. on pa+e) torn from )ame noteboo& a)
ourtney (etter .p+$%75B/
-age 6::
Letter to the Eitor5
I thought I *oul let the *orl kno* ho* much I love people5 I thought I *oul make
art try to create something that I *oul like to listen to because a very large portion of
this *orls art sucks beyon escription5 But besies Eet I feel that it1s a *aste of time to
pass 8ugement5 #n *ho the fuck am I to eclare myself an authority *ho1s certifie)
one *ho has the right to criti<ue5 I guess in a *ay anyone *ith enough ambition to create
an not take a*ay is someone *ho
-age 6:=
eserves respect5 There are some those *ho are better at it then others5 There are some
*ho have severely large amounts of enthusiasm *ho are prolific as ,ell) spe*ing out a
million proucts a year5 Eeah proucts5 They are the ones *ho usually give 29R goo
an 49R crap5 Then there are those *ho spen years stuying other peoples *orks
because they on1t have a chance in ,ell to prouce anything *ith a hint of talent5 Eeah
talent5 But like I sai no one shoul be enie the privilege to create an some people
most
-age 6:7
certainly o not nee the fear of *hether their goos are better or *orse than the Best or
*orse5 They can fin that out for themselves5 0n secon thought I thought I *oul
maybe I 8ust trie to let the *orl kno* ho* much I love myself5 Like a hypocrite in a
hippie crypt5 I hate myself an *ant to ie5 Leave me alone5 Love !urt
$%H 5 ompi(ation tape
-age 6:P . on a scrap sheet of paper
Love chil . ,e1s so sensitive
Love "hil . /iane
"alamity +ane . "ar
Beatnik Termites . *hen she1s nearby
Sun "ity &irls . Voice of #merica S2
/ischarge . The more I see
+a fair . the cro*
+a fair . take a chance
+a fair . I like "any
Ma((y Star . ,alah
/i8its . uner the "hristmas fish
Bags . Babylonian &orgon
Bags . Survive
Bags . @e @ill Bury Eou
Sebaoh . Loser "ore
/uh . spaghetti an re *ine
TV -ersonalities . I kno* *here Su Barret lives
#'emen . Mourning of Eouth
sie T
/aniel +ohnston
"ontinues stories
stinky -uffs . stinky -uffs theme
,amburger
,o* you make a car
Baby # monster
$%75B 5 (ove (etter to ourtney u)ed in I#I> on(y Courtney referene in boo&
-age 6:F
"ourtney) *hen I say I love you I am not ashame5 Nor *ill anyone ever ever come
close to intimiating persuaing) etc me into thinking other*ise5 I *ear you on my
sleeve5 I sprea you out *ie open *ith the *ing span of a peacock) yet all too often
*ith the attention span of a bullet to the hea5 I think it1s pathetic that the entire *orl
looks upon a person *ith patience an a calm emeanor as the esire moel citi(en5 Eet
theres something to be sai about the ability to e'plain
-age 6:3
oneself *ith a tone o*n) tune eaf tone5 #n I *ill say it> I am *hat they call the boy
*ho is slo*5 ,o* I metamorphosise from hyperactive to cement is for lack of a better
knife to the throat uh) annoying) aggravating) confusing as ense as cement5 "ement
hols no other minerals5 Eou can1t even fin fools gol in it5 Its strictly man mae an
youve taught me it1s ok to be a man an in the classic mans *orl I parae you aroun
prouly like the ring on my finger *hich also hols no other mineral5
Love !urt
$%A 5 Ne1 improved N,R9ANA (i)t of a(bum)
$F05% 5 tran)ribed in ba& of JOURNALS
$FF 5 Ieart S*aped "oK video idea)> tran)ribed in ba& of boo&
$F6 5 noteboo& over
$FH57 5 bit*in+ about media> Gourna(i)t)
$FB 5 t*e t*an&)+ivin+ )ro((
$FA 5 ramb(e on +ettin+ ripped off
-age 6=4
@ithin the months bet*een 0ctober 2442 thru /ecember 46 I have ha four notebooks
fille *ith t*o years *orth of poetry an personal *ritings an thoughts Lyrics stolen
from me at seperate times5 T*o 49 minute cassettes fille *ith ne* guitar an singing
parts for ne* songs amage from a plumbing accient as *ell as to* of my most
e'pensive) favorite guitars5 I1ve never been a very prolific person so *hen creativity
flo*s) it flo*s5 I fin myself scribbling on little note pas an pieces of loose paper
*hich results in a very small portion of my *ritings to ever sho* up in true form5 It1s my
fault but the most violating thing I1ve felt this year is not the meia e''aggerations or the
catty gossip) but the rape of my personal thoughts5 Rippe out of pages from my stay in
hospitals an aeroplane ries hotel stays etc5 I feel compelle to say fuck you Quck you
to those of you *ho have absolutely no regar for me as a person5 Eou have rape me
harer than you1ll ever kno*5 So again I say fuck you although this phrase has totally
lost its meaning5
QH"! E0HG
QH"! E0H5
$60 5 on *ippie) and *o1 +reat Jimmy Carter i)
$615% 5 draft of a (etter or ramb(e about p(ayin+ +uitar
$6F 5 note) and idea)> pre5N393R4,ND
$66 5 ramb(e on 1*y not to do an intervie1 1it* Ro((in+ Stone ever a+ain in(udin+ u)a+e of Kurt;)
at*p*ra)e)
$6H 5 Kurt;) *am radio idea
$67 5 ?#op 60 by N,R9ANA.? #*i) appear) to be t*e ?fina(? draft of t*e (i)t) found t*rou+*out t*e
boo&> (i)ted on a )in+(e )*eet of paper. A(bum name i) under(ined 1it* t*e band be(o1 t*e (ine>
(i)ted in t1o and a *a(f o(umn). Kurt )ave) t*e be)t for (a)t in *i) (i)t. #*i) pa+e i) )ome1*at
evidene to t*e individua(ity of N,R9ANA> (e)) t*an a ?band? more of a man. @*i(e , am )ure
bot* Kri)t and Dave *ave adored )ome or a(( of t*e a(bum) on t*i) (i)t> it i) definite(y a on)tant
proGet of Kurt;) to ma&e top (i)t) of a(bum). @*o t*ey 1ere for i) anyone;) +ue))> but if
)omeone buy) a S1an) reord> a S(it) reord> or even a 'ub(i 3nemy reord .:/ it 1i(( be for t*e
be)t> +iven t*e urrent )ituation.
Ra1 po1er 5 Stoo+e)
Surfer Ro)e 5 'iKie)
'OD 5 "reeder)
'in& 3' 5 9a)e(ine)
'*i(o)op*y of t*e @or(d 5 S*a++)
Land S*ar& 5 Ean+
4i((ion) of Dead Cop) 5 4.D.C.
1)t 3' 5 Srat* Aid
1)t 3' 5 Sa*arin #ru)t
'ee 'ee t*e Sai(or 5 "utt*o(e Surfer)
4y @ar 5 "(a& E(a+
Ro& Eor Li+*t 5 "ad "rain)
3ntertainment 5 Nan+ of Eour
Nevermind t*e "o((o&) 5 SeK 'i)to()
,t) on(y Ri+*t and natura( 5 Ero+)
Dry 5 '.J.Iarvey
Daydream Nation 5 Soni 2out*
Net t*e Kna& 5 t*e Kna&
Kno1 your produt 5 t*e Saint)
anyt*in+ by- K(eeneK
Rainoat) L' 5 Rainoat)
Co(o))a( yout* 5 youn+ marb(e +iant)
Ro&) 5 Aero)mit*
1*at i) t*i): 5 pun& omp a(ifornia
Nreen 5 R.3.4
"urnin+ Earm a))ette 5 S*onen Knife
typia( Nir() 5 S(it)
Combat Ro& 5 C(a)*
9oid 0 Eait* 3' 5 9oid 0 Eait*
Rite) of Spin+ 5 Rite) of Sprin+
Jamboree 5 "eat Iappenin+
ta(e) of terror 5 ta(e) of terror
(a)t )e))ion) vo( 1 5Leadbe((y
Superfu== "i+muff 5 4ud*oney
yip Gump mu)i 5 Danie( Jo*n)ton
Neneri E(ipper 5 E(ipper
meet t*e "eat(e) 5 "eat(e)
1e are t*o)e 1*o a*e 1it* amorou) (ove 5 Ia(f Japane)e
C1ere you a(1ay)D Lou)t abortion te*niian 5 "utt*o(e Surfer)
Dama+ed 5 "(a& E(a+
t*e Reord 5 Eear
E(o1er) of Romane 5 ',L
#a&e) a nation of mi((ion) 5 'ub(i 3nemy
"ea* 'arty 5 4arine Nir()
t*e man 1*o )o(d t*e 1or(d 5 David "o1ie
,) t*i) rea(: 5 @iper)
yout* o+ Ameria 5 @iper)
Over t*e ed+e 5 @iper)
4a==y )tar 5 ma==y )tar
Rapin+ a )(ave 5 S@ANS
$6B 5 3Ke((ent )*arpie5type )&et* of a )ea*or)e +ivin+ birt*. ?t*e 4a(e Sea*or)e Carrie) t*e
*i(dren and +ive) t*em "irt*.? i) 1ritten on t*e )in+(e )*eet of paper> )imi(ar to t*e )ty(e of t*e
prior pa+e ontainin+ t*e (i)t of reord) but t*e orner) are obviou)(y fo(ded different(y in ea*.
#*e ba& i) mo)t (i&e(y b(an&.
$6A 5 on po(iti) and abortion ri+*t)
$H0 5 ramb(e)> idea)> et.
$H1 5 t5)*irt de)i+n for Sea*or)e )*irt
$H$ 5 ?Eor "oy)?
$H% 5 on )tate of mu)i po)t5N393R4,ND
$HF56 5 Rape 4e video idea)
$HH5B 5 Advoate (etter draft)> 1AAF
$HA570 5 on *eroin and addition> Eebruary 1AAF 4adrid *ote( )tationary
$715$ 5 Rome *ote( )tationary about S(y Sta((one
#*e 4u)ia( #a)te) of Kurt Cobain
Arti)t 5 A(bum or Son+
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
4e(vin) 5 9i(e
De*umani=er)
'au( Revere and t*e Raider) ?t*ey 1ere )o fu&in+ )tupidJ? .$/ S33 ALSO- 3a+(e)> Carpenter)>
23S> Joni 4it*e(( ?)*itty? .%/
Sound+arden
@*ite)na&e 0 "on Jovi ?evi(? .%/
4ud*oney ?no omment? .%/
Soundtra& to IR 'uff5N5Stuff featurin+ 4omma Ca)) and Ja& @i(de
NN A((in ?+ro))? .10/
"eat Iappenin+ 0 Sreamin+ #ree) 3'
a(( 4ar& Lane+an a(bum)
"eat Iappenin+
2oun+ 4arb(e Niant)
"reeder) 5 'od
'iKie) 5 Surfer Ro)a
Leadbe((y 5 La)t Se))ion)
9a)e(ine) 5 pin& L +reen ep)
@iper) 5 ,) #*i) Rea(:
S*onen Knife 5 "urnin+ Earm ep
SeK 'i)to() 5 Nevermind t*e "o((o&)
Jad Eair 5 Nreat 3Kpetation)