1

!"# %&'(# )#'* &+, -"# !./# )#'*

1he uncondlLlonal love of Cod ls Lhe good soll ln whlch Lhe seed of our auLhenLlc self ls meanL Lo flourlsh. Lach person ls
meanL Lo grow Lo maLurlLy grounded ln Cod's uncondlLlonal love and mercy so LhaL one flnally comes Lo reflecL Cod's
love and mercy ln one's dally llfe. 1he 18uL SLLl ls Lhe 8eloved son or daughLer of Cod you were creaLed Lo be.

Sadly, Lhls ls noL how Lhlngs happen. 1he docLrlne of C8lClnAL Sln descrlbes Lhe condlLlon ln whlch human belngs grow
Lhrough llfe unaware of Cod's consLanL presence and deprlved of Lhe experlence of Cod's uncondlLlonal love. 8ecause of
Lhls llluslon of separaLeness from Cod (no one ls ever really separaLed from Cod excepL ln one's own mlnd), human
exlsLence ls marked by feellngs of radlcal lnsecurlLy, lncompleLeness, and lsolaLlon. AL Lhe hearL of human exlsLence ls an
empLlness whlch only an lnLlmaLe relaLlonshlp wlLh Cod can flll, buL ln Lhe absence of Lhls experlence of dlvlne lnLlmacy,
we search for fulflllmenL and happlness ln Lhlngs oLher Lhan Cod and end up becomlng addlcLed" Lo whaL ulLlmaLely falls
Lo saLlsfy. 1hls fundamenLal dlsorlenLaLlon ls Lhe CCnul1lCn/S1A1L Cl C8lClnAL Sln. 1radlLlonally, CaLhollcs belleve all
personal slns (Lhe acLual slns we commlL) Lo be rooLed ln Lhls sLaLe of dlsorlenLaLlon.

012 1344567)) 5) )8 95%%5:;<!
Puman belngs also have naLural, emoLlonal needs for Su8vlvAL/SLCu8l1?, AllLC1lCn/LS1LLM and CWL8/CCn18CL.
SaLlsfylng Lhese needs adequaLely and early enough ln llfe ls lmporLanL for one's physlcal and psychologlcal wellbelng. 8uL
because of lnconslsLenL or lmpoverlshed experlences of belng loved and cared for from early chlldhood onwards, Lhese
needs become lnflaLed, expresslng Lhemselves ln sLrong, nonraLlonal A11ACPMLn1S or AvL8SlCnS.
















As we grow older, we Lend Lo ldenLlfy happlness wlLh Lhe fulflllmenL of our emoLlonal needs so much so LhaL we form
hablLs and dlsposlLlons dlrecLed Lowards saLlsfylng Lhese needs. 1hese hablLs and dlsposlLlons are our LMC1lCnAL
8CC8AMS lC8 PAlnLSS. 1hey lead us Lo equaLe happlness wlLh Lhe fulflllmenL of our needs for survlval/securlLy,
affecLlon/esLeem and power/conLrol. We are relnforced ln Lhls bellef by Lhose around us, by our famllles, schoollng,
workplace, socleLy and culLure.

1he emoLlonal programs generally operaLe beneaLh Lhe level of consclousness and only surface when our aLLachmenLs
and averslons are challenged. Anger, fear, grlef, dlscouragemenL, apaLhy, envy, [ealousy, greed, lusL, and prlde are
examples of AllLlC1lvL LMC1lCnS awakened when our emoLlonal needs are LhreaLened or LhwarLed. 1he affllcLlve
emoLlons ln Lurn Lrlgger an auLomaLlc lnLernal commenLary" based on emoLlonally-charged memorles of pasL palnful
experlences. 8ehashlng our pasL fallures, sufferlngs and slns magnlfles our emoLlonal Lurmoll whlch leads us Lo seek
release by saLlsfylng our needs for securlLy, esLeem and conLrol. 1hls relnforces and sLrengLhens our aLLachmenLs and
averslons, seLLlng us up for anoLher round of lnLernal sufferlng when Lhe nexL Lrlgger experlence comes along.

2




















!17 %3<)7 )7<% 369 !17 !=;7 )7<%
1he lALSL SLLl ls Lhe self-ldenLlLy consLrucLed ln response Lo our emoLlonal needs for survlval/securlLy,
affecLlon/esLeem, and power/conLrol. Some ldenLlfy lL wlLh Lhe LCC. lL ls whaL we feel we need Lo be ln order Lo
succeed ln llfe and be accepLed by oLhers. 1he lALSL SLLl whlch ls rooLed ln our early sense of deprlvaLlon and
relnforced by culLural expecLaLlons, ls Lyplcally fearful, self-proLecLlve, possesslve, manlpulaLlve, self-promoLlng and
prone Lo vlolence. 1he agenda of Lhe false self ls Lo secure lLs belng by fulfllllng lLs emoLlonal programs aL all cosL. l
am whaL l have . . . l am whaL l do/achleve. . . l am whaL oLhers Lhlnk of me . . ." - so goes Lhe lnLernal manLra of Lhe
false self. 1hls way of Lhlnklng generaLes a llfe cenLered on self-concern, self-preservaLlon, self-lmage, self-
graLlflcaLlon.
1
A modern psalm capLures noL only Lhe dllemma of Lhe false self buL Lhe soclal consequences LhaL flow
from such a llfe:

Mooy tbete ote wbo koow oot love,
lobotloq ooly fot mooey ooJ powet,
8ecomloq qteeJy ooJ JlssotlsfleJ,
opptessloq tbe poot ooJ tbe weok.
1bete tbey ote - feot besets tbem-
feot tbot otbets wlll steol tbelt weoltb,
tbot tbelt tlcbes wlll be scotteteJ ooJ lost,
tbey llve lo ptlsoos of tbelt owo mokloq.
2


1he lalse Self ls a fearful self LhaL needs Lo proLecL lLs lnLeresLs even aL Lhe cosL of neglecLlng and dolng vlolence Lo
oLhers. 1hus, we see Lhe problems of poverLy, oppresslon and war, ulLlmaLely flnd Lhelr rooL ln Lhe addlcLlons of Lhe
false self.

ln conLrasL, Lhe 18uL SLLl ls rooLed ln Cod and consclous of lovlng unlon wlLh Cod as Lhe basls of one's exlsLence.
Llvlng from Lhe 18uL SLLl, one experlences oneself as loved as one ls, secure, unLhreaLened, graLeful, focused on
Lhe here and now, blessed and deslrous of sharlng one's blesslng oLhers. lL ls a self capable of lovlng ln a way LhaL ls
noL condlLloned by anoLher's response. 1he 18uL SLLl knows LhaL llfe ls noL abouL me" and my needs" buL raLher
LhaL lL has a role Lo play ln Cod's plan Lo love and save all people. lL ls Lhe self LhaL emerges when one surrenders Lo
Cod ln love and LrusL.



1
Albeit Baase, !"# %"&''#()# *+ ,"# -)*. Youtube.
2
Nan C. Neiiill, /0&'10 +*2 /2&34() (NY: Continuum, 1999), p. 1uS.

S
1he Lable below, Laken from uavld 8enner's 1be Clft of 8eloq ootself (2004)
3
provldes a good conLrasL beLween Lhe lALSL
SLLl and Lhe 18uL SLLl

!17 %3<)7 )7<% !17 !=;7 )7<%
5ecotlty & slqolflcooce ocbleveJ by wbot we
bove, wbot we coo Jo, wbot otbets tblok of
os.
5ecotlty ooJ slqolflcooce ocbleveJ by
beloq Jeeply loveJ by CoJ.
nopploess sooqbt lo ootooomy ftom CoJ ooJ
lo potsloq oot ottocbmeots.
lolflllmeot foooJ lo sotteoJet to CoJ
ooJ llvloq oot vocotloo.
lJeotlty ls oot eqo/ lJeollzeJ self (wbo we
woot otbets to tblok we ote).
lJeotlty ls wbo we ote-ooJ wbo we ote
becomloq-lo cbtlst.
AcbleveJ by meoos of pteteose ooJ ptoctlce. kecelveJ os o qlft wltb qtotltoJe ooJ
sotteoJet.
MolotoloeJ by effott ooJ coottol. MolotoloeJ by qtoce.
mbtoces lllosloo os o meoos of ottemptloq to
become o qoJ.
mbtoces teollty os tbe ploce of meetloq ooJ beloq
ttoosfotmeJ by CoJ.

lor ChrlsLlans, !esus ls Lhe perfecL model of Lhe 18uL SLLl. 1oLally secure ln Lhe love of Cod and Lherefore free from slavery
Lo ego needs, hls llfe ls cenLered compleLely on communlcaLlng Lhe laLher's love Lo people ln ways LhaL heal, llberaLe and
save. 8ecause hls hope ls grounded ln hls laLher's provldence, he ls undeLerred by re[ecLlon, homelessness, lnsulLs,
beLrayals, and lack of lmmedlaLe resulLs. Pls love for enemles demonsLraLed by hls forglveness on Lhe cross shows a
compleLe freedom from Lhe ego's need Lo domlnaLe, Lo wln aL all cosLs, Lo hlL back aL one's persecuLors. 1he freedom of Lhe
18uL SLLl ls ulLlmaLely a freedom Lo love. none of Lhls could have been easy. !esus afLer all could feel anger, fear, grlef,
and lonellness as much as anyone. 8uL he dld noL hold on Lo such feellngs. When hurL or dlscouraged, he soughL refuge ln
Lhe Cod he called Abba" and ln Lhe embrace of hls laLher, he found Lhe freedom Lo say ?LS" Lo whaLever Lhe work of love
demanded of hlm. 1he sLory of CeLhsemane reveals Lhe lnner sLruggle of one who loves llfe and Lhe world deeply buL who
loves and LrusLs Cod even more.

!esus noL only modeled Lhe perfecL freedom of Lhe 18uL SLLl, he LaughL lL Lo oLhers and as Lhe 8lsen Lord, he glves Lo each
one who deslres lL, Lhe power Lo become Lhe 18uL SLLl by bulldlng one's llfe on Lhe foundaLlon of Cod's unshakeable love.
1hls power ls Lhe Poly SplrlL whlch ls noLhlng less Lhan Cod's love poured ouL lnLo Lhe hearLs of all who belleve and deslre lL.
lLs effecL ls Lo enable us Lo Lranscend our ego needs ln order Lo llve for Cod and for oLhers.

:136>56> 95=7:!586)
8ecause of Lhe sLrengLh of our ego and lLs aLLachmenLs, change ls noL someLhlng we do wllllngly. ln many cases, lL Lakes
powerful experlences of lAlLu8L, l8uS18A1lCn, PuMlLlA1lCn and SullL8lnC Lo persuade us LhaL we have bullL our
happlness on Lhe wrong foundaLlons. lL ls noL as lf we have Lo go ouL looklng for such experlences, however. When our
happlness ls based on our emoLlonal programs, such experlences are lnevlLable. 1he lALSL SLLl ls a magneL for sufferlng
because lLs happlness depends on holdlng on Lo Lhlngs LhaL never lasL (as 8uddhlsm Leaches). We are moved Lo change
when Lhe sufferlng of sLaylng Lhe same ouLwelghs Lhe fear and lnsecurlLy LhaL Lhe rlsk of change brlngs.

!esus's call Lo 8LLn1 ls a call Lo cbooqe tbe Jltectloo lo wblcb we ote lookloq fot bopploess. lL ls a call Lo flnd our 18uL SLLl
by leLLlng go of our ego wlLh lLs varlous aLLachmenLs and averslons and leLLlng Cod relgn over every aspecL of our llves. 1hls
would be beyond our ablllLy lf Cod were noL already presenL ln our deepesL selves, lovlng us and embraclng us ln mercy.
1he experlence of belng loved by Cod as we are enables us flrsL Lo accepL ourselves as we are, and Lhen Lo leL go of our
aLLachmenLs so LhaL a new self rooLed ln Lhe love and mercy of Cod can come lnLo exlsLence. LeLLlng go of our lnordlnaLe
aLLachmenLs and surrenderlng one's llfe Lo Cod's love ls how we grow splrlLually.

1he sLory of Zacchaeus lllusLraLes Lhls perfecLly. rlor Lo any lnLenLlon Lo repenL on Lhe parL of Zacchaeus, !esus sees Lhe
desplsed Lax collecLor's longlng for a new beglnnlng and responds Lo lL wlLh a LoLally unprecedenLed, even scandalous, offer
of frlendshlp. !esus' uncondlLlonal accepLance of Lhls publlc slnner and 8oman collaboraLor so moves Lhe Lax collecLor LhaL
he leLs go of Lhe emoLlonal program on whlch hls llfe had hereLofore cenLered.-Lhe pursulL of securlLy(possesslons). Pe has

S
Baviu Bennei, !"# 54+, *+ 6#4() 7*820#'+ (Bowneis uiove, IL: Inteivaisity Piess, 2uu4), p. 92.
4
dlscovered Lhe pearl of greaL prlce" so Lo speak, worLh hls whole llfe. Pe repenLs noL because he wanLs Lo galn forglveness-
LhaL as already been glven- buL because he has recelved a love LhaL erases Lhe demons of hls pasL and dwarfs hls prevlous
aLLachmenLs- and wlLh Lhls love Lhe chance for a new llfe. Pls declslon Lo glve up half of hls possesslons and Lo repay Lhose
he has cheaLed four Llmes over shows LhaL he has begun Lo llve from a new cenLer of value and meanlng-Lhe uncondlLlonal
love of Cod ln !esus Lhe ChrlsL. lL ls Lelllng LhaL Lhe name Zacchaeus" ln Pebrew means pure and rlghLeous one". 8y
accepLlng Zacchaeus aL hls mosL lmpure and unrlghLeous, !esus frees hlm Lo become whaL Cod lnLended hlm Lo be, hls
18uL SLLl.

8epenLance Lhen ls noL a pro[ecL of self-lmprovemenL flrsL
of all (Lhls Loo can be hl[acked ln Lhe servlce of Lhe
ego/false self), buL a change of dlrecLlon, a
Su88LnuL8lnC 1C LCvL. lL conslsLs ln allowlng Cod Lo
love us as we are ln our vulnerablllLy and ab[ecL needlness
and bulldlng our llves on LhaL love. When we become
deeply convlnced of Lhe LruLh LhaL we are beloved of Cod,
we can leL go of Lhe false self and lLs emoLlonal programs
and can choose Lo acL ln ways LhaL are noL domlnaLed by
our ego needs, ways LhaL are genulnely lovlng and
selfless. rayer, especlally ln lLs more recepLlve and
conLemplaLlve modes (cenLerlng, prayer of Lhe hearL, eLc.), ls a way of personally encounLerlng Lhe love of Cod. lL ls Lhus an
lndlspensable way of uprooLlng Lhe addlcLlons of Lhe false self and movlng Lowards a new llfe rooLed ln Cod.

? @;7)!586) !803=9) !=36)%8=A3!586
ln Lhe [ourney from Lhe false self Lowards Lhe Lrue self, lL ls lmporLanL Lo know whaL emoLlonal program or comblnaLlon of
emoLlonal programs keeps you from movlng forward. ln hls book ctossloq tbe uesett
5
, psychoLheraplsL 8oberL Wlcks
suggesLs 4 quesLlons LhaL mlghL ald ln ldenLlfylng our baslc lssues and deallng wlLh Lhem.

@/#(-BC+ DE 0"#.# &F 5 /+*.## +CGH We are usually bllnd Lo our areas of unfreedom. 8uL we can dlscover where we are
unfree by dlscoverlng whaL hablLually upseLs us, whaL makes us angry, or fearful, or ashamed, or envlous, or resenLful, or
needy. We can examlne our llves for paLLerns of addlcLlon (addlcLlon refers Lo any behavlor we can'L conLrol noL [usL
addlcLlon Lo chemlcals buL Lo Lhlngs llke pralse from oLhers, food, sex, compuLer games, 1v, pornography, eLc.) or
avoldance. We can ask ourselves where we experlence rlgldlLy, reslsLance, self-rlghLeousness. WhaL makes us feel
mlsundersLood or LoLally lgnored?

@/#(-BC+ IE 0"&- J.#K#+-( F# *.CF '#--B+L LCH
1he volce of our aLLachmenLs says WlLhouL Lhls . . . you cannoL llve or be happy." 1he volce of our averslons says, 1hls ls
Loo palnful Lo endure." AL Lhe base of our unfreedom ls an aLLachmenL or an averslon LhaL ls rooLed ln our emoLlonal
programmlng. We need Lo recognlze, ldenLlfy and name our aLLachmenL or averslon ln order Lo deal wlLh lL.

@/#(-BC+ ME 1CG ,C 5 #FJ-N FN(#'*H
8y recognlzlng we are noL free, acknowledglng Lhe sLrengLh of our lnner reslsLance, and surrenderlng Lo Cod's love. 1hls
occurs parLlcularly ln Lhe prayer of conLemplaLlon whlch lnvolves belng ln Cod's presence ln sllence and sollLude. As we seek
Lo resL ln Cod's presence, Lhe resLless of our mlnds and hearLs becomes evldenL ln a seemlngly endless sLream of LhoughLs
and dlsLracLlons. 1he dlsclpllne ls Lo leL go of dlsLracLlons when we become aware LhaL Lhey have sLolen our aLLenLlon and
reLurn Lo Cod's presence. 1he pracLlce of leLLlng go" of dlsLracLlons ln prayer Leaches us Lo leL go of whaL dlsLracLs us from
Cod ln llfe.

@/#(-BC+ ?E 0B-" G"&- GB'' 5 *##, FN (C/'H
WhaLever helps you Lo deepen your relaLlonshlp wlLh Cod and your appreclaLlon of llfe ln lLs enLlreLy ls good for you. l
would menLlon 6 Lhlngs ln parLlcular: self-accepLance based on Cod's accepLance of you, forglveness (of yourself and
oLhers), graLlLude, acLs of love and care, openlng one's hearL Lo Cod ln prayer, and Lhe eucharlsL undersLood as Lhe
sacramenL whlch makes presenL Lhe uncondlLlonal mercy and forglveness of Cod ln ChrlsL.

S
Robeit Wicks, %2*004() ,"# 9#0#2, (Notie Bame, IN:Soiin Books, 2uu7), pp. 8Sff.