Professional Documents
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NI-". SirncLrssa sta;eti that, *,ele it i-in to i-rer'. she ..voukl '*ant llr. Ficijei to t'ecei';e
coLrnseiling to aclclless issl:es of'anger ancl vei.tgealce toivards her that she has e:rperienceri
fi-om irin-r since tl:eir separaricn. FLirthelnior-e, she is concet'necL al.out hot, IIi. Fidjei's negati',-e
legai:d ti;r' her, anc! u'c.i-iien iil qenerai- lla';e and rvill continire to aiiict her .^ons. Site believe,.
i\Il'. irici]ei has coniinliall;; shareii these ','iews u,ith the chilcjren rathe;- thzrn jLrst spenciitrqqLraliry tbther'-son tir:re lvith thern. Ailcliiionali',', beca,-ise Mr. Irid.)el has otirer chilclren fi'cm his
previor-rs malriages rvhom he abancloneci, N{s. Simotissa cloes not believe that NJr. Fidjel is
cr:mrnit:ed to iris Flanza ancl \&'a-lici ibl the long-ter:n. In spite of this. anrl "in tire u,c.rst case
sceiralio," she believes N{r'. FiJ]ei's access s}rorilli remait: as it cttt'retrtlv is.
I)Lrring visits to my o{Ice, Ivls. Sirnorlssa \vas calm and patient rvit}r both c}rilciren. At
tinres s}-re aliorved some oltheir more exuberant behaviour-, s'.lch as llamza bouncing as he szrt
on the couch, or Walid r,vanting to give hel iiisses and climb into her' lap, to go rLnchecked
befbre gently but firmiy reclit'ectiiig thern and ren-rincling tl-rern ol her expectations. The
children attencled at my office trvice rvith their mother. Each time, they arrived rvith smiles ancl
sor]re as-e-appr-opr-iate silliness betu,een then-r, t,hich A4s. Simoussa somctimes appl'opt'iately
.ioined and at other times applopliately managed.
Structured Activity. At rny office, I instn-rcted lVIs. Simotrssa and the cirilclren to decide
toc-etlter hou'they rvotrlcl create a single pictLrre of an event or speciirl occasion the-y had alreaciy
shared, or rvould lilte to shar-e together. Thev lr,ele fiu'ther instructecl to make sure that each ol
them had the opportunity to contribLrte. On the table rr.,ere one sheet of paper- ancl 3 boxes of
crayons. A second plece of paper u,as placeri off to the side and alvay i}om their rvorli alea.
NthoLrgir it '"r'as visible, the papel was sornewhat oLrt of the rvay and clearly not part of'the
matelials to be Lrsed {bl this activityMs. Siilorissa invitecl both children to sl-rale theil icieas of r.vhat to dr;rrv. She guicled
them to a joint tlecision about u,hat to clras', ancl praised the boys throrighout. When the
attention of one or the other rvanecl, she redirected them eflectivelv. She tooli cale to ellsut'e
tliey lollou'ed r;ry clirectior.rs. S}:e clid this by :rsking tlie chilclren qLrestions to elicit tire
infbrmation fl'om thenr. Several titnes, I-Iamza made suggestions that deviared flror:r the
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