Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

During his midlife

crisis, my dad got
really into _____.

Next time on Dr.

Phil: How to talk to
your child about
_____.

I went from _____ to

_____, all thanks to
_____.

_____ would be
woefully incomplete
without _____.

Only two things in

life are certain:
death and _____.

Members of New
York's social elite
are paying
thousands of
dollars just to
experience _____.

My new favorite
porn star is Joey
"_____" McGee.

Everyone down on
the ground! We
don't want to hurt
anyone. We're just
here for _____.

This month's
Cosmo: "Spice up
your sex life by
bringing _____ into
the bedroom."

Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

Before I run for

president, I must
destroy all evidence
of my involvement
with _____.

The healing process

began when I joined
a support group for
victims of _____.

Little Miss Muffet

Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds
and _____.

This is your captain

speaking. Fasten
your seatbelts and
prepare for _____.

The votes are in,

and the new high
school mascot is
_____.

If God didn't want

us to enjoy _____,
he wouldn't have
given us _____.

In his newest and

most difficult stunt,
David Blaine must
escape from _____.

Charades was
ruined for me
forever when my
mom had to act out
_____.

My country, 'tis of
thee, sweet land of
_____.

Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

The Five Stages of

Grief: denial, anger,
bargaining, _____,
acceptance.

Before _____, all we

had was _____.

After months of
debate, the Occupy
Wall Street General
Assembly could
only agree on "More
_____!"

My mom freaked out

when she looked at
my browser history
and found
_____.com/_____.

Tonight on 20/20:
What you don't
know about _____
could kill you.

I spent my whole life

working toward
_____, only to have
it ruined by _____.

You haven't truly

lived until you've
experienced _____
and _____ at the
same time.

Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

A bigger, blacker
dick.

Upgrading
homeless people to
mobile hotspots.

Mild autism.

Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

The mere concept of

Applebee's.

Wearing an octopus
for a hat.

Nunchuck moves.

A sad fat dragon

with no friends.

An unhinged ferris
wheel rolling toward
the sea.

Whipping a
disobedient slave.

Catastrophic
urethral trauma.

Living in a trashcan.

An ether-soaked
rag.

Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

Hillary Clinton's
death stare.

The corporations.

A sweet spaceship.

Existing.

A magic hippie love

cloud.

A 55-gallon drum of
lube.

A piata full of
scorpions.

Fuck Mountain.

Special musical
guest, Cher.

Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

Mooing.

Survivor's guilt.

The human body.

Swiftly achieving
orgasm.

Getting hilariously
gang-banged by the
Blue Man Group.

Boris the Soviet

Love Hammer.

Daddy's belt.

Jeff Goldblum.

The grey nutrient

broth that sustains
Mitt Romney.

Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

Me.

Making a friend.

Tiny nipples.

Double penetration.

A soulful rendition
of "Ol' Man River."

Oncoming traffic.

Weapons-grade
plutonium.

Intimacy problems.

A dollop of sour
cream.

Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

Some really fuckedup shit.

A sweaty, panting
leather daddy.

A slightly shittier
parallel universe.

Subduing a grizzly
bear and making her
your wife.

Spring break!

My first kill.

Rising from the

grave.

Being awesome at
sex.

Graphic violence,
adult language, and
some sexual
content.

Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

The mixing of the

races.

Dining with
cardboard cutouts
of the cast of
"Friends."

Fetal alcohol
syndrome.

Taking a man's eyes

and balls out and
putting his eyes
where his balls go
and then his balls in
the eye holes.

Another shot of
morphine.

The day the birds

attacked.

Scrotal frostbite.

Beefin' over turf.

One Ring to rule

them all.

Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

All of this blood.

A squadron of
moles wearing
aviator goggles.

Grandpa's ashes.

Loki, the trickster

god.

Bullshit.

Basic human
decency.

Whining like a little

bitch.

Pretty Pretty
Princess Dress-Up
Board Game.

A Burmese tiger pit.

Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

Pumping out a baby

every nine months.

The new Radiohead

album.

Death by Steven
Seagal.

Tongue.

An army of
skeletons.

The Google.

Finding Waldo.

A man in yoga pants

with a ponytail and
feather earrings.

Power.