Bob'S Burgers: Cast List

BOB'S BURGERS
"SHE'S NOT BEAUTY, SHE'S LOUISE"
written by
Jennifer Jeudy
Cast List
Bob
Louise
Tina
Gene
Linda
Addison
Peggy
Julie
Lisbeth
Winnie
Alice
BOB'S BURGERS "SHE'S NOT BEAUTY, SHE'S LOUISE" 1.
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
INT. BOB'S BURGERS - DINING ROOM - DAY
The Belchers are getting ready to close for the day. TINA is
busing tables and GENE is playing with his keyboard. The
television news plays on low in the background, a warning
about a wanted criminal in the area appears.
Tina bends over to pick up a piece of trash off of the floor.

As she does this, Gene presses the fart key on his keyboard.
GENE
Too much fiber, Tina.
Tina, looks up at Gene, embarrassed for some reason.
TINA
(ashamedly) Youre right.
INT. BOB'S BURGERS - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
BOB is wiping down the grill. LOUISE is next to him cleaning

the deep fryer, grease all over her face.
BOB
Gene, leave Tina alone.
LOUISE
Why?
She looks up at Bob and stares him right in the eyes.
LOUISE (CONTD)
You know what they say, whoever
defends the farter, is the farter.
BOB
Literally no one says that, Louise.
LOUISE
Well, I just did!

INT. BOB'S BURGERS - DINING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
ANGLE ON the TV.
A NEWSANCHOR comes on the television. No one pays attention

to the TV.
NEWSANCHOR
Officials say that if you see this
woman, not to engage. She is a master
manipulator and uses her old age to
prey on her victims.
TINA
Thanks dad. But I actually did fart. A
silent one.
Gene begins to erupt with laughter. His eye falls on the

television screen where he briefly sees the wanted ad.
GENE
Oh, theres a --
INT. BOB'S BURGERS - DINING ROOM, DOOR AREA - CONTINUOUS
The door swings open. Three women flounce inside, followed by

three smaller girls who could almost be exact copies of each
woman.
A camera crew of four men also squeeze in behind them. The

women are dressed in tight clothes with a lot of fancy
jewelry on their necks and wrists and fingers. One of the
women raises her hand up in a queen like way.
Bob sticks his head out of the serving window.
BOB
Im sorry, were close--
Bob stops talking to view the camera men. He makes a confused

face at the cameras. One of the camera men zooms their camera
in on Bob.
The women laugh amongst each other.
WOMAN #1
Thats fine darling. We just need
three cups of ice if thats alright
with you.
Bob continues to stare at the cameras, aghast. He snaps out

of his trance for a moment.
BOB
Oh. Uh, would you like any water with
that then?
The women turn back to the camera crew and laugh directly
into the camera lenses as if theyve heard the funniest joke
in their entire lives.
Gene presses a key on his keyboard - the drum effect sound

usually heard after a joke.
GENE
Tell another dad!
TINA
Maybe theyll leave a tip.
Gene presses the drum sound effect key again.
GENE
Good joke, Tina.
Bob is still puzzled. He makes a face that the cameras

quickly catch on a dramatic zoom in.
BOB
So... no... then..?

WOMAN #1
Our daughters are on a very strict
diet. The ice is their snack.
LOUISE
(off-camera) Gross.
She does a slight giggle in attempt of flirting with Bob. Bob

is in too much shock to realize.
Bob looks at the cameras once again.
BOB
What the hell is going on. Am I being
Prunked?
LOUISE
Its Punkd, Dad.
BOB
Isnt that what I just said.
Linda comes down from the apartment, dressed in mom jeans

with sneakers.
LINDA
Alllriiight, lets get that
inventoooory!!
She stops dead in her tracks, making eye contact with the
three women. Its silent in the restaurant for a while.
Tina and Gene stare at their mother and Bob looks at the
women, still very confused. The camera men take their places,
ready to film any incoming drama.
LINDA (CONTD)
Oh. My. GOOOOOOOD!
She runs over to the women. They all join into a huge group
hug. They squeal and laugh amongst each other. Bob comes out
of the kitchen into the dining room. He walks towards Linda.
BOB
Lin, who are these people.
The camera men are just inches away from Bobs face. Bob
covers the lens with one of his hands.
LINDA
Oh, Bobby! These are my best friends
from high school!
Bob looks at the women. He looks back at Linda, and shakes

his head.
Linda points at WOMAN #1.
LINDA (CONTD)
Thats Addison. She was prom queen.
ADDISON flips her hair and gives Bob a sultry look that he
quickly adverts. Bob nudges Linda to move on to the other
women. Please.
LINDA (CONTD)
Julie.
She points at the woman in the middle.
She was homecoming queen.
JULIE gives an earnest wave. Linda fixates on the two women,

her eyes glazing over a bit. Bob nudges her.
LINDA (CONTD)
Oh! And... Peggy. She was...
treasurer. (lowers her voice) I think.
PEGGY shoots a glare at Linda.

PEGGY
Secretary.
Linda laughs awkwardly at her and tries to quickly change the

subject.
LINDA
Soooo, what are you gals doing back in
town? I thought you guys were in the
fancy Jersey Shore!
The cameramen glance at each other. One of them shakes their

head and mouths, Dont say anything.
Peggy goes to speak but Addison beats her to the punch.
ADDISON
Oh, we are, but were in town for
Little Miss Beach!
She gestures to the little girls.
JULIE
Our little girls have been doing
pageants together since they were
little tots!
Gene is horrified. He whispers to Tina.
GENE
You mean to tell me, pageant girls
were once tater tots?
Peggy perks up to chime in, but again, Addison jumps in.
ADDISON
We even got our own camera crew to
follow us on the... (jazz hands)
journey!
Linda is dazzled. She looks at the camera men and waves to

them frivolously.
Peggy finally jumps in - shes excited to get a word in.
PEGGY
YEAH! WERE GONNA BE ON TV!
Everyone stares at Peggy. They nod their heads slowly, except

for Tina, who slow claps, causing everyone to look at her.
TINA
What? I love the enthusiasm.
Addison coughs loudly, bringing the attention back to

herself.
ADDISON
Anyway... let me introduce the little
princesses. Katherine, Winifred, and
Lisbeth. Lisbeths my little girl.
Tell them how many pageants youve
won, Lizzy.
LISBETH
Ive wo-
ADDISON
(heavily boasting) SHES WON THREE
PAGEANTS!
Everyone stares at Addison. She regains her composure.
ADDISON (CONTD)
The other girls have won two. Thats
good too, I guess.
Julie and Peggy share the same glare towards Addison. Addison
gives them a smile.
JULIE
My little Winifred is only eight,
shes right behind Lizzy, Addison. You
better watch out. Shes going to win
Little Miss Beach!
Addison rolls her eyes.
ADDISON
Pooh Bear has as much chance as Kit
Kat does at beating my Lisbeth. Its
none.
Julie and Peggy both gasp loudly.
TINA
(BOB, GENE, TINA, ADDISON, JULIE, LINDA, LISBETH, PEGGY)
GENE
Ooooooh! Fight, fight, fight!
Bob and Linda send a glare back at Gene. He quickly looks

down at his keyboard. He plays the fart key for a long time.
BOB
Gene, stop that.
GENE
Im just trying to ease the tension!
TINA
Yeah, theres so much. I could cut it
with a butter knife, maybe.
The women stop their fighting to look at Gene and Tina. They
whisper among each other. Linda goes in close to them.
LINDA
Whats the matter?

The women are startled by Linda. They try to play it off as

nothing. Linda twiddles her fingers, almost like a little
child being picked on for things that they cant help.
PEGGY
Oh, its nothing, Linda! We were just
talking about how different our lives
are compared to yours!
Bob makes a puzzled face. Lindas smile drops a bit.
JULIE
Oh, Peggys still such a twit! We just
meant.. Youve got a nice little
burger joint! Isnt it nice, Addie?
Addison isnt interested in saving face.
ADDISON
I suppose.
Linda realizes that shes got to make a fix, fast. She walks
over to Tina, and grabs her by the waist.
LINDA
Oh my gosh, you guys! I just
remembered that Tinas doing Little
Miss Beach too! I cant believe I
forgot!
TINA
Uhhh... yes.. This is a thing that was
planned for a long time, not just
now...
GENE
I cant believe youre picking Tina
over me! I would be a perfect Little
Beach!
Linda forces a loud laugh, meeting eyes with Bob, who is

shaking his head at her.
BOB
(loud whisper) I need Tina for the
inventory trip.
Linda laughs nervously. She smacks her forehead, laughing

some more.
LINDA
Oh, am I a complete doodle dummy!
She glances around, taking a deep breath.
LINDA (CONTD)
I meant, my other daughter is going to
be in Little Miss Beach!
SPLIT SCREEN - INT. BOBS BURGERS - DINING ROOM - DAY
GENE TINA
What about me woman?! Thank god its not me...
Linda joins the split screen.
LINDA
Hehe. I always get them mixed up.
Louise!
END SPLIT SCREEN.
Louise pops her head up from behind the kitchen counter,

covered in grease. Shes chewing on an old fry. All eyes are
on her.
LOUISE
WHAT?!
END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO
FADE IN:
EXT. BOB'S BURGERS - DAY
Everyone is seeing Bob, Tina, and Gene off. Louise grabs the
car door, trying to get inside.
LOUISE (CONTD)
Please, take me with you!

Linda grabs her arm, pulling her back.
LINDA
(loud whisper) Louise!
Louise makes a face and continues to struggle with Linda.

Linda whispers in Louises ear.
LINDA (CONTD)
Ill give you twenty bucks.
Louise struggles less, but is still pleading.
LINDA (CONTD)
Alright! Forty. And a trip to Wally
Wonks.
Louise stops fighting and nods her head at Linda.
Bob rolls Tinas window down.
BOB
Alright, have fun, I guess.
LINDA
We will! Love ya Bobby.
She blows many kisses at him and Addison rolls her eyes. She
nudges Julie and Peggy for them to the same. They reluctantly
follow suit.
ADDISON
(flirty) Itd more fun if you were
here!
Everyone awkwardly quiets down. The only sound that can be

heard is the low hum of the car engine and Gene coughing.
BOB
Okay, bye now.
He puts the car into drive and quickly drives off. Louise and
Linda wave him off as the camera men record the footage.
Linda and the women are sitting in a booth talking. Addison

is sitting next to Peggy, and Linda sits with Julie across
from them. Louise and the girls are feet away. Theyre all
talking, except for Louise. Shes just watching.
LINDA
So, Addie, who did you end up with?
Pauly the Football Player? Or John the
Soccer Player? Or, or, was it that
basketba--
Peggy and Julie chortle loudly in unison. Addison elbows

Peggy, and kicks Julie from under the table.
ADDISON
Well, actually.. I married Steve.
Linda nods. But then she looks at Addison confused.
LINDA
Wait, which one was Steve again? Was
he Cross Country?
ADDISON
No...
LINDA
Wrestling team?
Addison starts fidgeting uncomfortably in her seat.
ADDISON
No.
LINDA
There were a lot of sports, Addie! You
gotta refresh my memory!
ADDISON
(mumbles) Steve from the Mathletes...
Linda brightens a bit. She tries to keep her grin to herself,

but fails. Addison notices this.
ADDISON (CONTD)
He makes thousands. He invented a
thing like Bitcoin.
LINDA
He invented Bitcoin?
ADDISON
No, a thing like Bitcoin.
Linda turns to a camera man. She stares into the lens.
LINDA
Alrighty.
EXT. ROAD - DAY
Bob drives on the highway. Tinas in the passenger seat

mumbling to herself, while Gene whining to Bob.
GENE
Are we there yet?
BOB
You just asked me that two seconds
ago, and the answer is still no.
GENE
(pauses) Are we there yet, now?
Bob groans loudly. He turns the radio on. It randomly plays

an AM station that is talking about politics.
GENE (CONTD)
Tina, put some jams on.
Tina switches the dial to FM. A catchy old pop song plays.
Tina and Gene sing along to it.
TINA
Cuz Im your--
Gene incorrectly sings the lyrics.
GENE
Baaaaabbbby... And you are my lamb...
Bob groans loudly.
BOB
Gene, you know thats not what shes
saying.
GENE
(ignores) Whenever you preach
for me...
The women are still chattering. Addison glances down at her

watch.
ADDISON
Well. I think its about time for us
to go to our hotel. Its a penthouse
suite.
LINDA
Oh no! You gals would be in much
better hands with me and Louise!
Addisons face flattens. Peggy and Julie stare up at Linda

listening intently.
LINDA (CONTD)
Their sheets have such a low thread
count, its a joke!
The women all gasp.
JULIE
Oh thank god Linda, youre such a
saint. Isnt she, Addie?
Addison rolls her eyes.
ADDISON
If you guys want to stay, you can -
but Im going to the suite.
JULIE
Oh come on, Addie.
ADDISON
Let me call my husband to let him
know.
LINDA
Oh, and I suppose they got rid of all
the bed bugs...
She puts her phone to her ear.
ADDISON
Hey baby! So, Peggy and Julie changed
their mind about the suite, but Im
sure that we can cover it for just
Lisbeth and I--
MAN (V.O.)
We cant afford that, Addison!
She pauses.
ADDISON
Oh. Um. Okay. Love you.
The women are looking up at Addison, waiting to see what

shes going to say.
LINDA
What happened?
ADDISON
Oh.. He told me the same thing about
the thread count - and theres bed
bugs, apparently.
She pauses.
ADDISON (CONTD)
So, I guess I can stay now.
Linda excitedly dances in her seat.
LINDA
Its going to be like our slumber
parties in high school! Except now the
lousy mail didnt eat my invitation
so now I can come too!
Peggy, Julie, and Addison nod innocently.
INT. BOB'S BURGERS - DINING ROOM, A FEW FEET AWAY - SAME
Louise hears the women discussing plans to spend the night.

She rubs her hands together mischievously.
LOUISE
This should be fun.
EXT. ROAD - DAY
Bob pulls up to the Food Tiger, a market that sells knockoff

brands and got its name from another market that we won't
name because of legality.
Gene puts his hand up against the car window glass. He

marvels at the size of the building.
GENE
Its beautiful.
Bob gets out of the car. He beckons to the kids.
BOB
Come on kids. Its time.
Gene and Tina shuffle out of the car. Bob dramatically

presses on the button on his car keys to lock the car - but
it doesnt work. He tries again a few times.
TINA
Oh dad... just... no...
BOB
Uh, oh, its still broken.
Awkwardly, he crosses back to the drivers side and opens the

door, pressing the lock button on the side. He closes the
door, and coughs.
GENE
So much secondhand embarrassment!
BOB
Okay... now its time.
INT. APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - LATER
Linda is giving the women a tour of the apartment.
LINDA
Aaand, thats the bathroom.
The women check out the small space, nodding and ad libbing.
PEGGY
Oooh, interesting.
Addison and Julie crack up at Peggys comment. Linda laughs

nervously.
LINDA
Okay, lets get this party started!
She walks out of the bathroom to the kitchen leaving the

women giving each other looks.
Linda walks past Louise and the girls who are sitting on the
table, smartphones in the hands of everyone except for
Louise. Shes just staring at the girls.
LINDA (CONTD)
Louise, why dont you take the girls
to your room? Get to know them better.
Linda opens the cabinet and grabs two bottles of wine.
LOUISE
(shrugs) I guess.
She gets up and also goes to the cabinet, taking out a bag of
chips. She pauses before shoveling some twinkies into her
arms. She then walks to the fridge, grabbing a liter of soda.
Linda places the two bottles of wine on the table. She goes
to get glasses when she sees Louise.
LINDA
Louise.
Louise stops in her tracks.
LOUISE
(innocently) Yes... mother?
LINDA
Make sure to share with your new
friends!
Louise gives Linda a polite smile.
She gestures towards the three girls.
LOUISE
Follow me.
INT. LOUISE'S ROOM - NIGHT
Louise places the junk food onto her bed. The girls put their
bags onto the floor.
Louise sits on her bed.
LOUISE
Do you really only eat ice?
LISBETH
We also eat carrots. And sometimes
celery with peanut butter for dessert.
LOUISE
Interesting.
She subtly grabs the bag of chips and opens them, grabbing a
handful and putting them into her mouth.
The girls watch in awe. Louise catches eye contact, and

melodramatically clasps a hand over her mouth.
LOUISE (CONTD)
God, where are my manners?
She throws a twinkie at Lisbeth, who drops it like its a hot

potato.
WINNIE
We cant eat... processed foods!
Louise rolls her eyes, throwing a twinkie at Katherine, who

doesnt drop it once she catches it.
LISBETH
Kitty!
Louise throws another twinkie, this time at Winnie.
WINNIE
Were not supposed to!
Louise stuffs a twinkie into her mouth. Through a full mouth,

she speaks.
LOUISE
Whats gonna happen?
Louise swallows the golden sponge cake. She twists open the
liter of soda, taking a swig. She shows the girls the inside
of her mouth. All gone.
LOUISE (CONTD)
See, nothing!
Winnie quickly stuffs the twinkie into her mouth.
LISBETH
Winnie! Im gonna tell--
Katherine fills her mouth with her twinkie. She goes to

Louise and grabs the bottle, drinking from it as well.
WINNIE
Kitty, let me have some!
Kitty holds the bottle over Winnies head as the soda

waterfalls into her mouth. Lisbeth freaks out.
Louise smirks at Lisbeth, throwing yet another twinkie in her

direction.
LOUISE
So, whats it gonna be, Lizzie?
Lisbeth blinks back tears, gulping on air. She slowly unwraps

the twinkie. Louise watches her with anticipation.
LOUISE (CONTD)
Cmon...
Lisbeth daintily takes a bite. Her eyes light up like a slot

machine in Las Vegas.
LOUISE (CONTD)
Gotcha.
Lisbeth quickly eats the rest of it, before reaching down to

eat the one that she dropped from before.
INT. APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Addison is opening a wine bottle. The other bottle is laying

on the table, dripping a few drops of remaining liquid.
Julie and Peggy sip from their glasses, laughing. A drunk

Linda is dancing. Theres no music playing.
LINDA
Oh, come on, Mr. Camera Mans! Dance
with me!
The camera men awkwardly move their arms about.
LINDA (CONTD)
Yeah, thats what Im talking about!
INT. APARTMENT - INTERVIEW - CONTINUOUS
An interview taking place at the same time as Lindas dancing

at the table. Addison, Julie, and Peggy, nonchalantly drink
more wine.
ADDISON
Linda is a m-e-s-s.
Peggy and Julie snort. Peggy downs her glass.
PEGGY
Im sooo glad our lives are way b-e-t-
t-e-r than hers!
Addison and Julie nod in unison.
JULIE
Theres no way her daughter is going
to win against our little angels!
The women all laugh loudly, egging on Linda.
INT. LOUISE'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Absolute chaos. Everyone except for Louise are fighting over

the junk food. Louise throws in a twinkie, and more fighting
ensues.
INT. LOUISE'S ROOM - INTERVIEW - CONTINUOUS
Louise folds her hands together, smiling.
LOUISE
And that, is how you do it.
Louise laughs maniacally as the camera catches the girls

fighting behind her.
END OF ACT TWO

ACT THREE
EXT. FOOD TIGER PARKING LOT - NIGHT
Bob pushes a cart full of boxes. Behind him, Tina pushes

another cart with Gene in it.
GENE
Faster, Tina!
Gene makes whipping noises.
TINA
I dont want to give you whiplash.
BOB
Thats not how it works, Tina.
The three reach the car, and Bob opens the trunk. He starts
loading the boxes into the car.
GENE
I call shotgun!
TINA
Aw man. I forgot to call it.
GENE
You snooze ya lose, sister!
Gene runs to the passenger side. Tina sadly walks behind him.
Bob sighs, still putting the boxes in himself.
BOB
Oh yeah kids, I totally didnt need
help.
GENE
Good! Unlock the car, father.
Bob gives Gene a look. Gene sends him back an angelic smile.
EXT. ROAD - NIGHT
Bob drives, as Tina and Gene sing along to more pop songs. It
begins to rain, and Bob squints as the windshield wipers move
up and down.
Bob turns the radio down.
GENE
Dad!
BOB
Gene, I cant hear.
TINA
Hear what?
BOB
The road, Tina.
Tina and Gene stare at their father. Gene goes to open his
mouth but closes it, still confused.
TINA
Okay, dad.
The car falls silent as Bob drives through the rain.
BOB
Wow, finally, some peace and quiet.
A chiming sound goes off.
BOB (CONTD)
What the heck?
The chime is heard again.
BOB (CONTD)
That kinda sounds like the thing for
the gas... when were about to run out
of gas.
Another chime. Bob continues to speak aloud to himself.

BOB (CONTD)
But, thats impossible because we had
a full tank before we left, so...
TINA
Dad, please.
BOB
How much gas did I use?
GENE
Dad, we cant die out here!
BOB
Were not going to die.
The car continues to chime. Bob looks out of his window at

signs for gas stations. He scoffs.
BOB (CONTD)
Im not paying that much.
TINA
But dad, its only 10 cents more than
it is at home.
BOB
Exactly, Tina. Well be fine.
Bob continues to drive.
EXT. ROAD - MOMENTS LATER
The car breaks down. Bob groans.
BOB
Oh my god. Great.
Tina begins to panic.

TINA
Its raining, and the car stopped,
were going to die. Dad, I dont want
to die without Jimmy Junior!
Bob looks at her.
BOB
Tina... calm down.
Gene begins to play a sad melody on his keyboard.
GENE
(singing) Now were going to die
because of Dad, and Moms going to be
really really sad--
BOB
Were not going to die!
Bob gets out of the drivers side, out into the road.
EXT. ROAD - CONTINUOUS
Bob puts his thumb up, waving his other hand. Gene sticks his
head out of the window and does the same. A few cars pass by,
honking at them.
BOB
Ugh, Gene, Tina, get out of the car
and stand by me. Someone will have to
feel bad and stop for us.
Tina and Gene get out and stand next to their father in the
pouring rain. Cars continue to pass by. A fancy car slows
down, and the three get hopeful. The man in the fancy car
rolls down his window.
MAN IN FANCY CAR
Ha! You really think I was going to
pick you up? Yeah right!

He speeds off, splashing the three with water from a puddle.
BOB
Okay, maybe death wouldnt be that bad
right now.
As Bob says this, a minivan pulls up.
GENE
Hey! Were not going to fall for that
again!
BOB
Gene, be quiet.
The driver rolls down their window, revealing an older woman

behind the wheel. She beckons them to get in.
BOB (CONTD)
(quietly) Thank you, Mother Teresa.
The kids rush to get inside the car, leaving Bob to get the
inventory himself.
BOB (CONTD)
Seriously?!
He hurries to grab the boxes, putting them in the trunk. He

goes to get inside of the minivan, but turns back to his own
car, rushing back to lock it. He then picks up some leaves
and sticks and puts it on top of the car.
BOB (CONTD)
Yes, thats totally convincing.
EXT. ROAD - NIGHT
Bob is in the passenger seat, making small talk with the

woman as she drives.
BOB
So, Im Bob, and those are my kids,
Gene and Tina.
The woman smiles.

ALICE
Im Alice. What are the boxes for?
BOB
Oh, just inventory for our restaurant.
ALICE
You own a restaurant? Thats nice.
GENE
Not as nice as Jimmy Pestos,
apparently.
BOB
Gene.
ALICE
Is Jimmy a friend of yours?
Bob scoffs dramatically.
BOB
Friend?! He wishes. I hate that guy.
He crosses his arms like a child.
ALICE
Hate is a strong word, Bob.
Bobs face softens.
BOB
Sorry, Alice - I mean... Hes alright.
And by alright, I mean, hes the
worst.
Alice chuckles, continuing to drive.
BOB (CONTD)
Im going to call Linda to let her
know that were okay.

Bob dials Lindas number. The phone rings, no answer.
BOB (CONTD)
Hm. She didnt answer. Wonder what
shes doing.
INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
The camera men recording. Angle on Lindas phone as the

screen lights up - One missed call from Bobby. The camera
pans up to Linda, who is passed out on the couch, and then to
the three women who are asleep on the dining room table.
INT. LOUISE'S ROOM - INTERVIEW
Louise drinks from the soda bottle daintily. She then pauses,
burping loudly.
LOUISE
Excuse me.
The camera pans to the other girls who are dancing and
screaming in the background.
EXT. ROAD - NIGHT
Bob is on a phone call with Teddy.
BOB
I didnt want to pay 10 cents extra,
Teddy. Im not cheap! (pauses) Okay, I
am, but I dont care. Will you please
come get us from Alices?
Bob is listening intently.
BOB (CONTD)
Of course Ill make you a burger,
Teddy.
GENE
Oh, Teddy.
BOB
Okay, thanks, Teddy. See you soon.
Bob hangs up the phone.
ALICE
Is Teddy your best friend?
BOB
Uh. No. Well. Yes?
He shrugs.
GENE
Can we listen to some music?
BOB
No.
Alice smiles, and turns the radio on to a pop station. Bob

groans. Gene whispers to Tina.
GENE
I think I know this lady.
TINA
Where do you know her from?
GENE
I dont know. Its like... DJ Vu.
TINA
Deja Vu.
GENE
Okay, Tina. I cant put my finger on
her.
TINA
You mean it.
Gene gasps.
GENE
Tina! Shes not an it. Geesh. Be
politically correct.
EXT. ALICE'S HOME - NIGHT
Alice pulls up to a small white house hidden in the woods.
BOB
Oh, you live in the woods. Nice.
INT. ALICE'S HOME - LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Everyone settles in.
ALICE
Make yourselves comfy.
She leaves the room. Gene hops onto the couch. It almost
caves in when he sits on it.
GENE
Dont be rude, couch!
Tina sits on the floor in front of Gene. Bob sits in an

ottoman a few feet away from them. Gene turns the television
on. Hansel and Gretel plays.
Alice comes back with a tray of cookies.
ALICE
Help yourselves.
She places it onto the center table. Gene takes a handful.
BOB
That was... Really convenient.
ALICE
What was?
BOB
The cookies. You just had a tray
ready. As if you were expecting
company.
Alice stares at Bob. Tina slowly takes a cookie, looking up

at Alice.
ALICE
I enjoy baking.
The room falls silent other than Gene chewing his cookie.
Tina just stares at her cookie.
ALICE (CONTD)
I made it with a special ingredient.
They wait for Alice to disclose the ingredient. She doesnt.
BOB
Oh.. okay.
Bob awkwardly reaches for a cookie.
ALICE
I want this plate to be empty when I
come back! Or else.
She starts to leave, and Tina groans uncomfortably.
ALICE (CONTD)
Just joking with you!
Alice leaves again.
TINA
Uhhhhhhhhhhh.
BOB
What just happened.
GENE
Dont question the cookies!

Gene shoves several cookies into his mouth.
TINA
I dont know, Gene...
INT. ALICE'S HOME - LIVING ROOM - AN HOUR LATER
Gene eats more treats as Alice brings out more. Bob also eats
but not as much as Gene. Tina hasnt touched anything.
BOB
You know whats funny?
Gene looks up at Bob, his mouth full.
BOB (CONTD)
Well, that movie thats playing is
about kids eating so much and getting
eaten.
TINA
Dad, how is that funny?
Gene stops in his tracks.
GENE
Thats where shes from! The news!
Bob and Tina look at Gene.
GENE (CONTD)
Shes a murderous cannonball.
BOB
Cannibal.
GENE
Thats what I just said!
TINA
Oh my god.
INT. ALICE'S HOME - LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Gene tries to induce himself into vomiting. He opens his

mouth, dry heaving. He puts his hands around his neck,
choking himself.
BOB
Gene, what are you doing?! Stop that!
Bob lightly smacks Genes hands away from his neck. Gene
tries again to strangle himself.
BOB (CONTD)
Gene!
GENE
I have to detox!
Bob and Gene struggle together.
BOB
Thats not even how you do it!
Gene escapes Bobs grip, ready to scream from his lungs.

Bobs eyes widen.
Tina puts her arms around Gene, trying to subdue him.
TINA
Calm, Gene, be calm.
GENE
Shes going to murder us! And eat us.
Or eat us. And then murder us.
Gene sticks his tongue out, making gagging sounds.
BOB
Gene, stop, its just a movie.
GENE
No, Dad, this is real life!
BOB
What are you talking about?

GENE
I saw her on the news, shes like a
super criminal or something.
Bob pauses, a little convinced.
TINA
Were gonna die?!
Tina panics, and tries to make herself throw up too. Bob

yells at them to stop.
BOB
Were not going to die. Teddy will be
here any minute.
ALICE (O.S.)
Im going to head to bed, holler if
you need anything!
GENE
Yeah, if we want you to murder us,
well holler alright!
BOB
Gene, be quiet.
INT. ALICE'S HOME - LIVING ROOM - A FEW HOURS LATER
Teddy is nowhere to be found. The kids continue to panic. Bob

falls asleep.
GENE
Dad wake up!
He goes over to Bob and slaps his face. Bob stirs awake for a
moment, but then closes his eyes slowly.
TINA
Theres no use! Were going to die.

GENE
Pull yourself together!
Gene stops to think. He scans the room. He spots a spool of

thread next to the sewing machine.
GENE (CONTD)
Aha!
Gene picks it up.
GENE (CONTD)
We just gotta booty trap her!
A musical montage of the two wrapping string around the whole

house - the staircase, the doors, etc- in the tune of
something similar to the Scooby Doo theme song.
GENE (CONTD)
That should do it.
He and Tina sit on the couch.
TINA
We should sleep in shifts.
GENE
Good idea. You first!
He lays down before Tina can protest.
INT. ALICE'S HOME - LIVING ROOM - MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
A shadow looms over the staircase.
END OF ACT THREE

ACT FOUR
INT. APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Linda placing down plates onto the dining table. Shes

singing and humming as she does.
She goes over to Louises door, and begins to knock on it

repeatedly.
LOUISE (O.S.)
MOM!
LINDA
(sing-songy) Looo-uise!
Louise opens the door. She stares up at her mother.
LINDA (CONTD)
Cmon Little Miss Beach, its
breakfast time!
The three other girls, wake at the words of the pageant,

almost like robots. Lisbeths eye twitches at Linda. Linda
takes a nervous step back.
LINDA (CONTD)
Oh, and breakfast for you guys too!
She quickly skips back to the kitchen.
Addison, Julie, and Peggy stir awake. Their hair and makeup
are a mess from the night before.
LINDA (CONTD)
So I guess Addie Beaumont is actual a
human! Ive never seen you so at ease!
Addison shoots Linda a glare.
ADDISON
Not that youd know anything about
fashion, but I was going for a grunge
look.
LINDA
Okay, sure, Addie.
Linda serves everyone bacon and pancakes. The girls all

gather around the table in awe at the food.
WINNIE
I thought bacon wasnt real!
KATHERINE
Maybe its fake, like for decoration.
Lisbeth touches a piece of bacon, pinching it between her

fingers. It crumbles a bit, and the girls all gasp.
LISBETH
Oh my god.
Louise and Linda share a look. Linda grabs her plate,

beginning to dig in.
LINDA
Well, dig in everybody!
The girls are eager to do so, they pick up their forks, ready
to pick up some food.
ADDISON
I dont think so!
Like an Olympic track member, Addison quickly maneuvers over

the couch, towards the table, she examines the girls plates.
ADDISON (CONTD)
They cant have all of this.
There are two pieces of bacon and two pancakes on each of the
girls plates. Addison rips the bacon into tiny pieces, and
cuts a small square of pancakes for each of the girls.
ADDISON (CONTD)
Much better.
Addison gathers the scraps of what shes taken from the

girls, putting it on her own plate. The girls stare up at her
in disbelief.
LINDA
So Im going to head out soon to pick
up Louises really fancy dress.
ADDISON
Just how fancy is it going to be,
Linda?
Louise feeds the girls bits of bacon in the background. They

perk up like little dogs waiting for scraps.
LINDA
Really fancy. Like, with sequins and
whatever else makes a dress fancy.
Duh.
PEGGY
Oh, that really is fancy!
Addison and Julie glare at Peggy.
PEGGY (CONTD)
What? It is!
INT. CLOTHING STORE - LATER
Linda looks through sequined dresses with a camera man close

behind her.
LINDA
Yeah, so I met the girls when I was in
ninth grade, they took me under their
wings!
The camera man nods. Linda picks out a dress, examining it.
She looks at the price tag, and then puts it back.
LINDA (CONTD)
Well, actually, they made me do a lot
of stuff for them.
(MORE)
LINDA (CONTD)
I did their homework, washed their
cars, lied to their parents about them
being over when they were actually
with boys...
Linda pauses.
LINDA (CONTD)
Oh my god.
CAMERA MAN
Youve realized that they werent
actually your friends and that they
were just using you?
LINDA
What? Oh, Ive known that the entire
time, silly camera man.
The camera man turns his own camera around and stares into
the lens, before turning it back to Linda.
LINDA (CONTD)
I just found the most perfect dress
for Louise!
She shows off a short green sequinned dress, thats a bit

worn and has a few stains on it.
LINDA (CONTD)
Its only $20 bucks - probably because
someone wore it a few times and
returned it. It just needs a good
wash!
She looks into the camera, smiling widely.

LINDA (CONTD)
Im Linda Belcher, and youre wathcing
Bargain Hunters.
The girls gather on the couch, watching tv.
ADDISON
Alright girls, time for Beauty Boot
Camp!
LOUISE
What?
LISBETH
Its where we lift a lot of heavy
stuff and sweat. A lot.
LOUISE
Gross.
ADDISON
It is not gross, it is exuberating!
Addison goes into her bag, taking out a few dumbbells.
LOUISE
So you just.. carry those around with
you? Okay lady.
The women begin instructing the girls on their workouts. The

girls begin to stretch. Louise does everything over the top,
making sure to annoy the women.
INT. APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - INTERVIEW - CONTINUOUS
Addison and Julie and Peggy gossip about Louise, who is

sweating away.
ADDISON
Shes like, a sweat monster.

JULIE
Im convinced that they created her in
a lab. Shes a complete monster.
PEGGY
Yeah, shes like, a total sweaty
monster. She should wear a sweater -
thats how sweaty she is.
JULIE
Okay, Peggy.
INT. APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - INTERVIEW - CONTINUOUS
Louise laughs, shaking her head.
LOUISE
Im just occasionally splashing water
against my face to make it look like
Im sweating.
She demonstrates to the camera men.
LOUISE (CONTD)
(fakes heavy breathing) Works every
time.
INT. ALICE'S HOME - LIVING ROOM - DAY
The sound of thudding is heard. Gene, Tina and Bob wake up at

once.
BOB
What the heck was that?
Gene and Tina share a shocked look.
GENE
I have no idea--
TINA
We killed Alice!
GENE
Tina! What kind of criminal are you?
You cant just confess that fast!
TINA
Im sorry. The guilt of murdering
someone is too much to bear.
BOB
Oh my god.
They get up to check on Alice, who is passed out on the floor

in front of the stairs.
TINA
Is this what a dead body looks like?!
GENE
My childhood is over!
BOB
Everyone stop talking! Im going to
check her pulse.
Bob leans down, putting his fingers to Alices neck,

searching for a pulse.
GENE
Turn her back on, dad!
Bob continues to search for a pulse. He slowly stops, looking

up at the kids and shaking his head.
TINA
I cant go to jail! Jimmy Junior wont
be in jail! How will I maintain our
relationship?
She grabs Gene by his shirt.
GENE
What have we done?!
Bob puts his fingers on Alices wrist, trying again. He lets

out a sigh of relief.
BOB
Oh. So I was.. doing it wrong, I
guess. Shes okay.
GENE
You guess?!
TINA
Dad, when I write my memoir, Ill make
sure to mention you and how you began
the many years of my trauma.
BOB
Thanks, Tina. Dont do that.
Linda returns from shopping with the camera man.
LINDA
Im baaack!
She looks into the space and sees Louise lifting two
dumbbells nonchantly. The other girls are using theirs as
pillows to sleep on.
LINDA (CONTD)
What is going on?
Addison and the two others approach Linda angrily.
ADDISON
What is going on, is that your
daughter has corrupted our children!

LINDA
What?
JULIE
Look at them!
Linda does, shrugging her shoulders.
LINDA
Theyre tired.
PEGGY
Exactly! They never got tired before
they met Louise.
LINDA
Its not Louises fault that your
daughters crumbled under the pressure!
ADDISON
I cant prove it, but she did this!
LINDA
You still can never admit that maybe,
this is your own fault!
Addison, Julie, and Peggy gasp.
ADDISON
We should have never came to your
shoebox of an apartment!
Addison pushes Lindas chest lightly. Linda gasps, pushng her

back harder. The camera men come between them.
CAMERA MAN
Okay, guys, break it up. Its time to
go to the pageant.
ADDISON
Keep her away from me!
She reaches over him, weakly slapping the top of Lindas

head. Linda gasps.
LINDA
Why, you little!
Linda thumps Addisons head.
ADDISON
See! Shes out of control!
LINDA
Oh, youre going down! Youre all
going down!
INT. ALICE'S HOME - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Alice stirs awake to Tina, Bob, and Gene standing over her.
Shes startled.
ALICE
What did you do?!
GENE
The important thing is, what didnt we
do?
TINA
Murder. Thats what we didnt do.
BOB
Alice, Im so sorry.
Alice struggles to stand, Bob helps her up.
ALICE
Sorry? Will someone explain whats
going on?!
BOB
The kids came up with a silly idea
that youre a wanted murderous
cannibal who was going to have us for
dinner. And many other meals.
Tina and Gene stare up at Alice, watching her face. She

pauses, deadpanning the three of them.
ALICE
Well, guess what?
BOB
Do I really have to, wouldnt it be
easier just talking?
ALICE
Im not a murderous cannibal!
BOB
Well, yes, now we know that.
ALICE
I ought to sue you for Endangerment
and Ageism!
GENE
You cant sue us for being Asian!
Were not, and thats racist!
BOB
Gene, please stop talking. Alice were
all very sorry for the trouble we
made.
GENE
I would consider moving out into
civilization and not being kind of a
creepy old lady to avoid this
misconception.
BOB
Gene.
ALICE
Please get out.
EXT. ALICES HOME - DAY
Bob gets his phone out, and calls Teddy.
SPLIT SCREEN
BOB
Teddy? Teddy, where have you been? You
were supposed to get us hours ago!
TEDDY
I thought you guys were at the
restaurant.
BOB
Why would we ask you to come to get us
from the restaurant?! We live there!
TEDDY
I dont know, Bobby. It probably makes
sense to you.
BOB
How far are you?

TEDDY
Im right outside, in front of the
creepy tree.
BOB
Oh, okay. Somehow, I know what tree
youre talking about.
END SPLIT SCREEN
BOB (CONTD)
Come on kids, lets get out of here
before she calls the cops.
GENE
Mark my words Alice, I will return for
those snickerdoodles!
BOB
No, no you wont.
EXT. WONDER WHARF, LITTLE MISS BEACH - DAY
The women and girls arrive, and as soon as they get out of
the camera mens van, they begin to disperse.
FISCHOEDER
Hello! Welcome to Little Miss Beach.
Ill be one of the judges - along with
special judges Jimmy Pesto and...
Gretchen.
LOUISE
Wow, really sprung out for those
special judges, didnt you Mr.
Fischoeder?
FISCHOEDER
Actually, I posted an ad on Craigslist
and they were the only ones to
respond.
LOUISE
Yeah, that sounds about right.
LINDA
Come on Louise, were going to destroy
them!
ADDISON
Oh please. Id rather see Lisbeth lose
to Kit Kat and Pooh than your rabbit
of a daughter.
Louise and Linda gasp. Addison and the other women begin to
walk off.
LINDA
Shes not a rabbit, shes a bunny!
LOUISE
Yeah, you tell her, mom!
LINDA
Were going to beat these snooty
little booties into the dirt!
LOUISE
Alright!
The two high five each other, grinning. They stand together
in an awkward silence.
LINDA
So... Ive never been in a pageant
before...
LOUISE
Me either...
LINDA
Should we just follow them?
LOUISE
Yeah, thats probably a good idea.
EXT. WONDER WHARF, LITTLE MISS BEACH - CONTINUOUS
The pageant starts. There are ten contestants, including the

girls and Louise, and they all stand on the stage together,
waving down at the crowd - or lackthereof. Theres probably
twelve people sitting behind the three judges.
FISCHOEDER
In front of us, are ten okay looking
young girls. But by the end of the
day, there will only be one okay
looking winner.
In the crowd, Linda whoops and cheers for Louise. She stops
once she hears Fischoeders introduction.
LINDA
Okay looking?
Next to her, Addison rolls her eyes and sighs.
ADDISON
They dont want to make it creepy.
LINDA
Right. Not like this isnt already
creepy... but, okay.
She takes a sip of her water bottle.
FISCHOEDER
Now, lets get Little Miss Beach 2016
started! First! The talent portion!

MONTAGE
- A random contestant blows bubbles.
Gretchen wipes away tears, and leans in close to her

microphone when she finishes.
GRETCHEN
That was so... inspiring.
- Another girl plays the triangle badly.
FISCHOEDER
How was that even possible?
- A girl dressed in karate clothes kicks at the air. She

attempts to break a piece of wood, but fails.
PESTO
And thats why we leave the wood
breaking to black belts. And karate
kid.
The girl begins to cry. The crowd boos at Pesto.
PESTO (CONTD)
Dont act like she didnt suck!
The crowd comes to a hush, murmuring true amongst each

other.
- A row of pies is set in front of Winnie, whose hands are

tied behind her back.
WINNIE
And now, I will eat all of these pies
using just my mouth!
In the crowd, Addison and Julie laugh to each other, teasing

Peggy.
JULIE
Just like her mama!

PEGGY
Shut up, Julie!
She shoves Julie, looking back at the stage.
PEGGY (CONTD)
(feigning enthusiasm) You go Winnie,
mommy loves you!
- Katherine comes on stage dressed in a tutu.
JULIE
Shes going to do a beautiful demi-
pointe and plie.
Behind her, a Wonder Wharf worker carries a covered tray.

They place it on the floor in front of Katherine, uncovering
it before leaving the stage, revealing it to be a ton of hot
dogs.
PEGGY
Ha! Shes going to do a plie alright -
shes going to eat a pile of those hot
dogs!
Katherine picks up a hot dog, shoving it into her mouth. She

does this with more until her mouth is completely full. She
bows down gracefully.
PESTO
She stuffed those weenies in her mouth
with grace. I applaud her.
FISCHOEDER
Pesto, dont be weird.
- Lisbeth on stage, behind a microphone.
LISBETH
Im going to sing a song.

ADDISON
Oh thank god, the weirdness didnt get
passed to her.
LISBETH
About how much I love donuts. Bring
out the donuts!
LINDA
Woohoo! Me too sister!
Addison fumes in the background.
END OF MONTAGE
Finally, Louise comes onto stage, sitting behind a

microphone. She burps loudly into it.
LOUISE
(doing an Elvis impression) Thank you.
Thank you very much.
ADDISON
Super classy.
LINDA
Well, at least she has a talent that
doesnt involve eating!
ADDISON
They learned that from her!
LINDA
Oh yeah, like Louise put those donuts
in your perfect Elizabeths mouth?
ADDISON
Her name is Lisbeth!

LINDA
Oh, same difference! You always had to
be soo fancy, with your Bitcoin
wannabe husband and winning prom
queen!
ADDISON
Its not my fault that Im beautiful,
and that your life is awful!
Peggy and Julie stare at Addison, then at Linda, waiting.
PEGGY
Fight... fight... fight...
JULIE
Shut up, Julie!
Addison crosses her arms, turning away from Linda. Linda does
the same to her.
FISCHOEDER
Alright... now that that lousy fail at
a cat fight is over, its time for the
interviews!
MONTAGE
FISCHOEDER (CONTD)
If you had a million dollars, what
would you do with it?
LISBETH
Buy a million donuts.
KATHERINE
Buy a half million donuts, and another
half million of hot dogs.

WINNIE
Buy a grocery store, and eat all of
the pies.
LOUISE
Donate my money to charity...
FISCHOEDER
Oh good, finally something less stupid
and not self centered.
LOUISE
Just kidding, Id buy Wonder Wharf for
$100, and then spend the rest of the
money on better rides.
PESTO
Ooooooh! She went there!
LOUISE
Also, Id buy Jimmy Pestos restaurant
for $10 and make it into a better
restaurant.
PESTO
Thats fair.
GRETCHEN
And finally, the dressing up part!
FISCHOEDER
You mean the evening gown.
GRETCHEN
Okay! The dressing up part, at night!
The girls all walk onto stage in their dresses. Louise

EXT. WONDER WHARF, LITTLE MISS BEACH - LATER
FISCHOEDER
And now, the moment youve been
waiting for so you can all go home -
the winner of Little Miss Beach.
GRETCHEN
Drum Roll!
The girl from earlier takes her triangle out and rings it
over and over.
PESTO
Close enough, I guess.
Fischoeder opens the envelope, reading it to himself. The

crowd waits in anticipation.
FISCHOEDER
This makes absolutely no sense, but
Louise Belcher is Little Miss Beach
2016!
The crowd, confused, begins to clap slowly. Linda erupts in

full applause. A Wonder Wharf Employee puts a tiara on
Louises head, and hands her a single flower instead of a
bouquet.
LINDA
Yeah! Thats right!
ADDISON
There is no way!
JULIE
It was rigged!
PEGGY
Watergate!
LINDA
Oh suck it! My Louise beat your little
perfect angels fair and square.
ADDISON
We were never your friends!
LINDA
Ive known that for over twenty years -
and guess what, I dont caaare!
Losers!
Linda pushes through two people in the front to go on stage

next to Louise. The two stand together for pictures. Quietly,
Linda speaks to Louise.
LINDA (CONTD)
Did you cheat?
LOUISE
Mom, of course I did.
LINDA
Thats my girl. Lets go get some
cotton candy.
EXT. WONDER WHARF, LITTLE MISS BEACH - FLASHBACK
Louise walks to the judges table, a sign on it reads:

BATHROOM BREAK. YES, WE ALL WENT TO THE BATHROOM.
She picks up the ballot, scratching out the name of the

winner - and writes her name over it.
LOUISE
No one will question this.
She puts the envelope back, just as the judges approach the
table.
FISCHOEDER
What are you doing down here?

Louise burps at him.
LOUISE
(Elvis impression) Nothing. Nothing at
all.
EXT. BOB'S BURGERS - DAY
Teddy pulls up in front of the restaurant, turning the car

off.
TEDDY
Wow, I cant believe the day you guys
had! Accusing an old lady of
cannibalism... reminds me of college.
BOB
Uh... okay.
GENE
I should have never taken the sweets
for granted. Ill remember you, and
your snickerdoodles, Alice.
He presses a low key on his keyboard, sighing.
BOB
Shes not dead, Gene. Just to clarify,
Teddy, we didnt kill her.
TEDDY
Yeah, I believe you Bobby. Im no
snitch.
BOB
But... theres nothing to... okay.

GENE
Hey, consider this - we go back to
Alices and steal all of her
snickerdoodles.
BOB AND TINA
No.
EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS
The women walk down the street, smoking cigarettes as their

children indulge in donuts.
ADDISON
Ill never be able to show my face! I
cant believe Linda Belcher beat us.
PEGGY
Its almost like karma from all of the
bad things we did to her..
ADDISON AND JULIE
Shut up, Peggy.
INT. ALICE'S HOME - BASEMENT - DAY
Angle on window of Alice's basement. Inside, there are two

fat kids bound and gagged. The sound of Alice whistling as
she sharpens knives above can be heard.
END OF EPISODE

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BOB'S BURGERS

"SHE'S NOT BEAUTY, SHE'S LOUISE"

INT. BOB'S BURGERS - DINING ROOM - DAY

Tina bends over to pick up a piece of trash off of the floor.

Too much fiber, Tina.

Tina, looks up at Gene, embarrassed for some reason.

(ashamedly) Youre right.

INT. BOB'S BURGERS - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

BOB is wiping down the grill. LOUISE is next to him cleaning

Gene, leave Tina alone.

She looks up at Bob and stares him right in the eyes.

You know what they say, whoever

defends the farter, is the farter.

Literally no one says that, Louise.

Well, I just did!

INT. BOB'S BURGERS - DINING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

ANGLE ON the TV.

A NEWSANCHOR comes on the television. No one pays attention

Officials say that if you see this

woman, not to engage. She is a master

manipulator and uses her old age to

prey on her victims.

Thanks dad. But I actually did fart. A

Gene begins to erupt with laughter. His eye falls on the

INT. BOB'S BURGERS - DINING ROOM, DOOR AREA - CONTINUOUS

The door swings open. Three women flounce inside, followed by

A camera crew of four men also squeeze in behind them. The

INT. BOB'S BURGERS - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

Bob sticks his head out of the serving window.

Im sorry, were close--

Bob stops talking to view the camera men. He makes a confused

INT. BOB'S BURGERS - DINING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The women laugh amongst each other.

Thats fine darling. We just need

three cups of ice if thats alright

INT. BOB'S BURGERS - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

Bob continues to stare at the cameras, aghast. He snaps out

Oh. Uh, would you like any water with

INT. BOB'S BURGERS - DINING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Gene presses a key on his keyboard - the drum effect sound

Tell another dad!

Maybe theyll leave a tip.

Gene presses the drum sound effect key again.

Good joke, Tina.

INT. BOB'S BURGERS - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

Bob is still puzzled. He makes a face that the cameras

So... no... then..?

INT. BOB'S BURGERS - DINING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Our daughters are on a very strict

diet. The ice is their snack.

She does a slight giggle in attempt of flirting with Bob. Bob

INT. BOB'S BURGERS - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

Bob looks at the cameras once again.

What the hell is going on. Am I being

Its Punkd, Dad.

Isnt that what I just said.

INT. BOB'S BURGERS - DINING ROOM - DAY

Linda comes down from the apartment, dressed in mom jeans

Alllriiight, lets get that

Oh. My. GOOOOOOOD!

Lin, who are these people.

Oh, Bobby! These are my best friends

from high school!