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IELTS Practice Writing Task 1 Writing Task 2 IELTS Graphs English Questions IELTS Preparation

IELTS Writing Sample

Happiness In Life
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IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2 Go To Sample

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define?
What factors are important in achieving happiness?
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As far as I know, the perception of happiness differs considerably from one

individual to another as a result of the diversity of characteristics and
More environmental factors. In this essay, a few factors to attain happiness will be
identified.
IELTS
Writing
Admittedly, happiness means different things to different people because of
Information their various perceptions. Some people refer happiness as a feeling of
pleasure or enjoyment. For instance, a child has toys, a girl owns a shoes
collection or people enjoy spending time with their family and friends.
Nevertheless, other people see money as a source of happiness. They
sacrifice everything in their pursuit of wealth and consider that earning money
is solely a way to attain happiness.
 Another reason why people have difficulty in defining happiness is that their
objectives and interests vary in different life stages. One has the passion for
toys as a child, fashionable clothing as a youth, an admirable occupation as
an adult and possibly a company of family members as an elder. With age,
one’s attitudes, capabilities and concerns are subject to change. Following
the latest fads, for examples, appeals to young people, despite the
expenditure of time and money. By comparison, senior people are hardly
interested in their clothes fashion. They even tend to regard them as a
wasteful use of money.

Considering the fact that people are all motivated to attain objectives for their
happiness, they should first give different weight to different subjects, such as
health, money, family or occupation. Few people can attain several aims at
the same time. Therefore, the primary factor to achieve happiness is
identifying the top priority elements. In addition, in order to be truly happy, it is
necessary to live a good life as well as to do something useful with their lives.
Some people get a sense of achievement from their work, whereas others
find happiness is bringing up their children.

In conclusion, each person defines happiness in his own ways based on

personal perceptions and life stages. In general, determining the top priority
elements in achieving one's objectives and living a good life are the two most
important factors to attain happiness.

This writing is found under the following category(ies):

IELTS Opinion Essays

Critique
This critique is meant for the writing from PRETTYLANA. This writing task has
been reviewed and partially corrected. Please revert to THE ORIGINAL IELTS
WRITING BEFORE CORRECTION to understand this critique!

+TASK ACHIEVEMENT
You were able to achieve the task by showing the reasons for difficulty in
defining happiness and the key factors to attain it .
+LEXICAL RESOURCE
Vocabulary is good with some neglectable mistakes which could be easily
improved.

+COHERENCE AND COHESION

Paragraphs are well organised with clear topic sentences.

+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY

Compare to the original writing.

PERSONAL ADVICE:
+ "the mixes effect" doesn't sound academic.
+ "determine" was not used properly in "My essay will determine some factors"
> "determine" is to decide or settle conclusively and authoritatively (I suppose
you were going to discuss the topic not giving a definite conclusion about how to
 attain happiness)
> "My essay will determine": your essay is only a writing task. It's not a person
to decide something.
+ "Admittedly, happiness means different things to different people"
> it's not wrong but you shouldn't start your discussion by saying "admittedly"
because it implies that this is a fact and we need not discuss at all. (just my
personal feeling)
> and in academic writing, people normally start by discussing a matter and
then gradually go to a conclusion.
+ "another people see money as a source of happiness"
> "another" is for singular nouns but "people" is plural.
+ You are missing an article here "earning money is solely way"
+ "in their clothes in fashion" -> "in their clothes fashion"
+ "identifies happiness as their own ways base on" -> "identifies happiness in
their own ways based on"
+ "each person identifies happiness in his own ways":
> "identify" is to establish or indicate who or what. It's subtly different from
"define"

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Add a comment...

Keo Rotha · Engineer at Student

this is great topic of happiness in Life,....I've found it to make essay
for teacher....
Like · Reply · Jul 24, 2012 9:55pm

Saif Rehman · Faran Model College

no
Like · Reply · May 24, 2015 11:16pm

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IELTS Writing Sample

Mandatory Financial Education
IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2
Financial education should be mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you
agree or disagree with this statement?
Go To Sample

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