Duck-umentary 2

Ducks and Friends

By

Austin Torres

2016 torres@msu.edu
1-313-269-7989
EXT. WINTER WONDERLAND DAY
Fade in to a almost still, very serene, landscape shot of a
beautiful winter wonderland. Classical music plays over the
imagery. Ducks start to appear in the film, flying and
quacking and doing duck things. Slowly, a title appears over
the shots...
Duck-umentary 2: Ducks and Friends...

INT. AUSTIN’S ROOM NIGHT

An exhausted and emotionally-drained AUSTIN TORRES is
sitting at the computer, surrounded by Mountain Dew,
Doritos, and Gummy Bears.

AUSTIN
Damn it! It needs more bite...
Austin types into his editing software...
Duck-umentary 2: Fowl Play

Austin grins a super stupid grin.

AUSTIN
Yeah, that’ll do.

A montage of Austin editing and consuming all of the junk

food commences.
HANNAH
(Voice Over)
This is Austin Torres. He’s an
aspiring film-maker at Michigan
State University. His project,
"Duck-umentary 2" is a sequel to a
prior project of his that had mild
success.

IMMEDIATE CUT TO:

INT. INTERVIEW SETTING DAY

AUSTIN
It has almost 200 views on Youtube!
IMMEDIATE CUT TO:
 2.

INT. AUSTIN’S ROOM NIGHT

A montage of Austin editing his film continues.
HANNAH
(Voice Over)
Driven by dreams, ambition, and the
constant torment of loneliness,
Austin is striving to create the
perfect film. At first I was
concerned about his obsession with
perfection, watching him collapse
under the weight of his own
expectations...

INT. INTERVIEW SETTING DAY

HANNAH BRENNER, a friend of Austin and a emerging
photographer, sits for an interview.
HANNAH
(cont.)
I asked if I could help him, and he
said he needed B-roll. So I thought
to myself, this could be really
good for me. I decided to tell his
story not because it’s sad, but
because it’s also pitiful. And yet,
depressingly amusing.

INT. AUSTIN’S HOUSE LIVING ROOM DAY

Two of Austin’s roommates are sitting on the couch. CAM is

playing video games while ANDY is half-watching and
half-doing homework. Austin walks in from the hall.
CAM
DAMMIT!

AUSTIN
So happy to see me, I see.
CAM
No. Also I just died.
ANDY
How is your film going?
AUSTIN
Ehh. I stayed up all night working
on the same five seconds.
 3.

ANDY
Dude, I don’t think that’s healthy.
CAM
Maybe you need a break, bud. Want
to play a couple games?

AUSTIN
Nah it’s fine, I’m going back to
the river right now anyways.

CAM
Whatever, man.
ANDY
Actually, maybe you should stay and
relax a bit. You’ve been stressing
too much. When was the last time
you ate?
AUSTIN
I had a granola bar on Tuesday.

CAM
It’s Saturday.
AUSTIN
Are you sure?

ANDY
Do you even go to class?
AUSTIN
I was planning on going today, but
apparently it’s not Thursday.

ANDY
Dude...
AUSTIN
Well, it’s okay, mid-terms aren’t
that important.
ANDY
DUDE!

AUSTIN
Yeah.... I should get going.
 4.

EXT. RED CEDAR RIVER DAY

Austin is filming ducks. It appears he isn’t happy with the
footage he is getting.
AUSTIN
(to the camera)
The ducks aren’t cooperating with
me today. I’ve got a few good
moments, but I don’t know. I’m
afraid this movie isn’t going to be
ready in time.
HANNAH
(Off-screen)
Ready for what?

AUSTIN
I am nowhere close to finished...

INT. AUSTIN’S ROOM NIGHT

Austin is sitting at the computer, watching his progress.

FILM FOOTAGE. We see ducks and classical music, akin to
the first film. A title appears on the screen...
[Sequel:

noun
1.
a literary work, film, etc., that is complete in itself but
continues the narrative of a preceding work.]
AUSTIN
Brilliant

EXT. RED CEDAR RIVER DAY

Austin is filming the ducks yet again. There is a young,
short girl named SHANNON, appreciating the ducks and the
nature surrounding her. She approaches Austin from behind,
who is totally oblivious to Shannon. She taps him on the
shoulder.
SHANNON
Umm, excuse me.
 5.

AUSTIN
Oh, you gave me a startle! Hi! How
are you?
SHANNON
I’m Shannon.
AUSTIN
I didn’t ask...
SHANNON
(interrupting)
What are you doing?
AUSTIN
Oh, I’m filming my latest movie!

SHANNON
Oh that’s nice. What’s it called.
AUSTIN
Duck-umentary 2. It’s a...

SHANNON
(interrupting)
PUN! It’s a pun. I love puns!
Ohmygoodness. Puns!
AUSTIN
I’m glad that you enjoyed...
SHANNON
(interrupting)
I also like ducks.

AUSTIN
I see, well then I’m sure you would
like my movie!
SHANNON
Probably not. I like ducks, not
movies.
AUSTIN
Oh, ok... What do you like best
about ducks?

SHANNON
The way they taste.
Shannon glares at Austin.
 6.

EXT. RIVER INTERVIEW DAY

AUSTIN
(to the camera)
Yeah, I got the hell out of there.

INT. AUSTIN’S HOUSE LIVING ROOM DAY

Austin is laying head down on the couch. Roommates 1 and 2
are staring at him.

CAM
How long has he...
ANDY
I think... 15 hours. 16? No, it’s
15.
CAM
Should we wake him?
ANDY
Nah, this is the most sleep he’s
gotten in weeks.
CAM
Ah... Is he dead?

ANDY
Oh. Hmmm. Wake him.

EXT. RED CEDAR RIVER DAY

FILM FOOTAGE. Classical music is swelling. There is a girl

on the park bench reading a novel. She seems at peace. Artsy
camera angles all over the place, like a stereo-typical
student film. Cut to Documentary footage.

Austin has his camera right in the face of GIRL ON THE

BENCH.
GIRL ON THE BENCH
Get. That Camera. Out. Of My. Face.

AUSTIN
(not listening)
If you could go back to reading
your book, that would be perfect.
Try not to talk. it ruins my shot.
 7.

GIRL ON THE BENCH

EXCUSE ME?
The girl on the bench proceeds to beat the shit out of
Austin. He grabs his camera and runs, but proceeds to fall.
The girl on the bench catches up and kicks him whiles he’s
down.

EXT. RIVER INTERVIEW DAY

Austin is bruised and battered.

AUSTIN
(to the camera)
So, I got into a minor altercation
during my filming session today. I
didn’t get much footage
unfortunately.
IMMEDIATE CUT TO:

EXT. RIVER INTERVIEW DAY

GIRL ON THE BENCH
(to the camera)
HE HAD A CAMERA IN MY FACE! I DON’T
EVEN KNOW HIM! WHAT THE FU-

IMMEDIATE CUT TO:

EXT. RIVER INTERVIEW DAY

AUSTIN
(to the camera)
So I guess sometimes you run into
people who just can’t comprehend
the art...

GIRL ON THE BENCH

(Interrupting from offscreen)
EXCUSE ME?! THE ART?!
The camera immediately pans to the enraged Girl on the bench
who is several feet away. She lunges towards Austin and the
camera.
AUSTIN
(to the camera)
I should run.
 8.

Austin sprints away from the camera, with the girl on the
bench chasing after.

INT. AUSTIN’S ROOM NIGHT

Ducks grace the screen. Austin is editing, holding an

icepack to his face.

EXT. RED CEDAR RIVER DAY

Austin is, surprise surprise, filming the ducks. He is

playing the camera settings as an enthusiastic young man
named JOSH approaches him.
JOSH
If it isn’t the greatest film-maker
of our generation!
AUSTIN
Oh hey, umm... John?

JOSH
Josh. Don’t worry about forgetting
my name again. I know celebrities
like you have WAY too many people
to keep track of. Filming your next
movie?

AUSTIN
Actually yes!
JOSH
Can I be in it?

AUSTIN
What?
JOSH
I am your biggest fan. I’ve seen
your Duck-umentary 19 times.
AUSTIN
Well thank you, but...

JOSH
(interrupting)
What are you filming, anyways?
AUSTIN
It’s actually a sequel to...
 9.

JOSH
(interrupting)
THE DUCK-UMENTARY I KNEW IT!!!!
AUSTIN
Yes, glad to see you’re so excited.
But I should...
JOSH
I can be a duck.

AUSTIN
What?
JOSH
Listen to me. I can be a duck.

Josh stares at Austin with the fury of one thousand suns.

JOSH
I can be a duck.

EXT. RED CEDAR RIVER DAY

A different day. Austin is sitting on the bench. His
equipment is beside him. A mysterious wanderer named DOUG
approaches him.

DOUG
Are you the one that captures the
essence of these waterfowl?
AUSTIN
Why yes, I...
The wanderer slaps him, and walks away. Austin remains on
the bench dumbfounded.
AUSTIN
(to himself)
I think I’m done.

INT. INTERVIEW SETTING DAY

3 weeks later
Hannah sits to talk to the camera.
HANNAH
Ok, so I’m honestly concerned. I’m
positive this film broke him. He
(MORE)
 10.

HANNAH (cont’d)
locked himself in his room. He
won’t let me film with him anymore.
I think an intervention might be
needed.

INT. AUSTIN’S HOUSE LIVING ROOM DAY

A gathering of friends are sitting around Austin for the
intervention. A pan reveals Hannah, Cam, Andy, and Josh.
Austin points at Josh.
AUSTIN
What is he doing here?
JOSH
I’m your biggest fan.
AUSTIN
Ok, but why are you here?
JOSH
Listen...
Josh leans in very close.
JOSH
I’m your biggest fan.

HANNAH
Ok, Austin, I need to confess
something.
AUSTIN
What do you mean?
HANNAH
We aren’t watching the Star Wars
trilogy.

AUSTIN
But Boba Fett?
HANNAH
This is an intervention.

CAM
Because you suck!
HANNAH
CAM!
 11.

CAM
I’m just kidding. It was a joke.
ANDY
No it wasn’t.

CAM
Yeah it wasn’t.
JOSH
(to Austin)
I’m your biggest fan
AUSTIN
(to everyone)
OK stop! An intervention for what?!

HANNAH
For Duck-umentary 2.It’s killing
you.
AUSTIN
Oh that... Yeah I finished that.

HANNAH
You what?
CAM
Nice man!

HANNAH
Then where have you been the past
few weeks.
AUSTIN
Oh. Class. I needed to catch up.
ANDY
When are we going to see the movie.

JOSH
I’m your biggest fan.
AUSTIN
Well, I’m still editing it, so
hopefully soon.

CAM
Hopefully never!
HANNAH
CAM!
 12.

CAM
That was another joke.
ANDY
No it wasn’t.

JOSH
I’m your biggest...
AUSTIN
(interrupting)
Yeah, I’m good guys. Thanks for the
support.
HANNAH
Well, ok then. No problem.

INT. INTERVIEW SETTING DAY

HANNAH
(to the camera)
Well, that’s a relief. I was super
worried. I can’t wait to see what
he has! Hopefully this documentary
can compare to the duck-umentary!

INT. INTERVIEW SETTING DAY

AUSTIN
(to the camera)
Yeah. I’m done with ducks. I never
finished it. But I can’t let that
hold me back.

Austin pulls out his phone to reveal a picture of his dog.

AUSTIN
(to the camera)
Chihuahuas are the future.

Screen cuts to black, with the emerging titles

[Dog-umentary

Coming soon!]
The End.