Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Jennifer J. Prince
Question:
Interview a person who has been divorced (it is even better if they have remarried). Ask
them how their definition of love changed as they went through the various stages of dating,
engagement, newlywed, married, divorce. As with other assignments try NOT to settle for
“simple” answers. To do this assignment correctly you will need to spend at least 30 minutes
Answer:
think about friends and family members who fulfill this criteria. I have decided not to interview
anyone, and rather reflect personally as I have conversance with this. By completing this
assignment with self assessment I hope to portray the feelings I had throughout my early thirties
(ten years ago,) when I was divorced and remarried four years later.
The definition of love for me when dating my ex-husband “George” is vastly different
than what I deemed was “love” when dating my second husband “Terry.” George and I definitely
had a whirlwind romantic love experience. We felt passionate love, and had intense feelings of
desire and attraction for one another although he was younger than me; I felt companionate love
for him as well. George has a witty sense of humor and made me laugh often. Because we
enjoyed similar interests and beliefs regarding future family plans and life goals, and we shared a
mutually intense attraction for one another, we chose to marry (Strong & Cohen, 2016, p. 168).
proceeded immediately with surgery and for several weeks I recovered. Once healed, we were
informed that should we want to have biological children we should do so quickly as I soon may
DIVORCE & LOVE 3
not be able to carry a child. We chose to start our family and I became pregnant. Exactly
half-way through that pregnancy, everything went completely awry. It took over three years,
nearly 1 million dollars in medical bills, and a complete miracle for our infant son to survive this
experience. I am sharing this information because it was a very unusual set of circumstances, and
they provided the “excuses” I tolerated when learning of chronic infidelity behavior from my
husband. Had our child not been on and off life-support, and had I not felt so ridden with
displaced guilt, I don’t believe I would have tolerated such behavior. We filed for and I followed
Surprisingly, I was determined to begin meeting and dating again immediately following
the divorce. Because George had three separate affairs in the course of four years of marriage, by
“round three” I was emotionally ‘done’ and eager to move on with my life. I got online and
found a free week membership to Match.com immediately; I met Terry. It did not take very long
for Terry and I to fall “in love.” What I felt for Terry was very different than the love I ever felt
for George. My (now toddler age) son no longer required oxygen assistance however, was still
required multiple trips to the doctor and hospital. Terry was very understanding of my sons
unique health needs, and offered assistance with the exhausting care my child needed. He helped
to carry the heavy health equipment, and never balked at bodily fluids my son could not control
at times when sick. I fell deeply in love with this man who chose to help me with the challenges
in my life.
Although I was anxious meet new people after my divorce from George, I had
reservations about marrying again. I never had to explain to Terry the devastation felt when a
spouse is unfaithful because he had experienced it with his previous wife twelve years prior.
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When Terry and I met he felt ready to marry again, and proposed to me only three months after
our first date. I was not ready for marriage yet and therefore agreed only to date exclusively. We
Blending our families has been challenging. Terry has four children significantly older
than mine, and therefore also has grandchildren. Terry’s children have a very strong alliance with
their mother (although it was her decision to step outside of her marriage to Terry and ended
their union.) Children bring very unique challenges to second marriages, and are capable of
inflicting a tremendous amount of duress. In my experience they can feel jealous of a parents’
new love interest/spouse and cause strain in a family. Our love and commitment have been tested
beyond measure. In cultures where teaching the collective construction of love, ( individual
happiness is sacrificed for the greater good of the family/ group) I believe marriages and
relationships have a greater chance of longevity, and sound to me more secure (Strong & Cohen,
2016, p. 158).
Works Cited
Strong, Bryan, and Theodore F. Cohen. The Marriage and Family Experience: Intimate
2106.