10 Ways to Empower Yourself to Create

Change in the World

by Molly Birkholm

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed,
it's the only thing that ever has.” —Margaret Mead

In the wake of what has been a steady stream of both human-made and natural disasters, many
people have been left feeling that they just can’t take any more. We may experience compassion
fatigue (the deep exhaustion that comes from prolonged empathy) and feelings of powerlessness,
anger, or frustration. While these feelings are completely normal, they alone do nothing to create
actual change. Our normal habits of sharing posts on social media, watching repetitive news
reports, and complaining to friends can do a lot to further our feelings of anger and helplessness;
however, they do very little for the betterment of ourselves and society as a whole.

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So, this past year, I made a resolution: I will not complain about anything I’m not proactively
doing something to change. For instance, I don’t allow myself to complain about a political
situation or social issue if I haven’t first taken direct action—such as making calls to elected
officials or volunteering to help with causes that are important to me. This practice has resulted
in a profound paradigm shift, which now leaves me feeling like part of the solution, rather than a
victim of circumstance.

This past year, I made a resolution: I will not complain about anything I’m not proactively doing
something to change.

If we want to make a difference in the world, we need to create both the internal and external
conditions that will support us in making the biggest impact. Here are some important ways you
can empower yourself to create meaningful change with both grace and strength.

1. Ground yourself.
First of all, give yourself an opportunity to really experience your initial response. Take time to
feel sadness, shock, grief, or whatever emotions may be arising. Feel love for those who are
suffering, including yourself. Amidst this, invite feelings of safety and comfort, and stay
connected to the deep sense of being that is always present inside of you no matter what is
happening in life. Commit to a practice that helps keep you in touch with this grounded state of
being, such as going for a walk in nature, yoga, meditation, breathing exercises, or yoga nidra
guided meditation. Take care to eat well and sleep soundly. You will be more effective when you
come from this centered place.
2. Remember that feeling “bad” about things doesn’t change anything.
While it is important to feel these events fully, we lose our power when we let feelings of
sadness, anger, or fear replace our ability to act. Remember that these feelings are messengers
telling us that we want things to be different, that we want change. Acknowledge your feelings,
listen to their message, and then let them empower you to make a difference.

3. Focus on issues that speak to your heart, and do something about those.
No one can do it all, so it is best to focus on one or two things you can do well, and then commit
fully to your cause. Trust that you will be the best at what inspires your heart the most. Then
consider how you can best make a difference. Maybe you can give your time to directly help the
situation. Alternately, use your voice to educate others about a cause or make a monetary
donation. The more you feel and see yourself making a difference, the more passionate you will
be about continuing to create change.

4. Avoid becoming overwhelmed.

Be careful not to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Focus on what you can affect,
and trust that other people will take care of the issues that matter to them—we’re all in this
together. Also, take time to look at the positive outcomes from challenging situations, such as the
way adversity can bring people together to make a difference. Sometimes our “default” is to
focus on the negative things. In reality, billions of positive things are happening at every
moment.

5. Find community.
Remember that we can do more together! Sometimes we are afraid to act alone, but when we
harness the power of community, we are empowered by this connection and collaboration with
others. Find people devoted to your cause, and build on the energy that comes from working
collectively toward a greater good. Broadening your sense of community also helps with feelings
of isolation and helplessness, as you witness others’ important contributions.

6. Practice self-compassion, patience, and positive self-reflection.

We often see only what we “could have done” or “should have done better,” which is
discouraging and minimizes the importance of our efforts. One of the most important parts of
serving is to reflect on what you did and why it helped. This creates positive mental imprints and
releases endorphins in the brain, increasing your chances of being proactive again in the future
and improving your efficacy.

7. Be resilient and avoid discouragement.

If it’s cultural change you’re working for, remember that it doesn’t happen overnight. There will
be harsh reminders that progress is not always linear. Remember that adversity does not always
denote a lack of progress. Progress takes time. Have faith that you are planting seeds that will
ultimately blossom into positive change.

8. Prioritize your time.

We might often think we don’t have enough time to help, when in reality, we do. Recognize that
saying “I don’t have time for that” is just a softer way of saying “I don’t prioritize that.” Reflect
on how you prioritize your time, and make appropriate changes. Instead of going out for a drink
with friends, try working together on a service project or fundraiser. For example, you could
devote one night a week to cooking a meal for homeless youth. Create a new normal for your
prioritization of time that includes time for selfless service.

9. Take care of yourself.

Remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup—depleting ourselves of energy inhibits our
ability to help others. Make sure you are leaving time for true self-nourishment. Identify and
reduce or eliminate any activities that may seem relaxing but are actually increasing your stress
(like scrolling through social media or mindlessly watching television). It’s important to remain
committed to the practices that keep you grounded and connected to your true, unchanging
self—whether it’s a spiritual practice, meditation, a sport, a walk in nature, or something else
that speaks to your heart.

Remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup—depleting ourselves of energy inhibits our
ability to help others.

10. Remember the power of positive energy, meditation, and prayer.

Prayer and meditation are proactive activities that can strengthen you, inspire you, and keep you
peaceful in the midst of adversity. The next time fears or worries arise, flood them with love,
presence, and compassion. Remember, light always overcomes darkness in the end. Always.

So…do you accept the challenge? Will you join me in not complaining about things that you
aren’t doing something about? Who else is going to do this essential work? Look around you.
Look in the mirror: It’s us. We CAN make a difference. We ARE making a difference.

Let’s support each other in making this world the best that it can be. This is not an ideological
concept. The world is changed by those people who can feel the suffering, and then show up to
take action.
Walking into a new job can be scarier than a creepy clown with a sack full of spiders.

You don’t know who to talk to. You don’t know who’s got your back or who’s gunning for you.
You don’t know the way things are “normally done.” And you don’t know how—or if—things
will work out.

It’s this uncertainty that makes you second-guess what you’re doing and doubt whether you’re
good enough to do a fantastic job. So yes, the fear of failing in a new job is real.

Fortunately, though, it’s eminently fixable. Here’s how.

Remember Why They Hired You

You went through the interview process (which likely wasn’t a cake walk), and you landed the
job. But now that you’ve got the job and you’re faced with the reality of doing it, it’s easy to
forget why you got the job. So let me remind you.

You were hired because you’re the best. Your skills, your experience, your strengths, your
talents, and your character make you the very best person to nail this. The proof is still very
much in the pudding, of course, but the fact that your new employer selected you as the best
person for the job counts for something.

It means you’re as good as you sometimes hope you are and better than you sometimes think you
are.

Get Out of the Narrative

I’m going to screw this up. I can’t figure this out. I’m not up to it. Everyone’s going to see me
fail. It’s only a matter of time before this blows up in my face.

Just a handful of the thoughts that might whiz through your mind when you find yourself in a
new job. Other thoughts you might have include: I really like peas. Shoes are nifty. The sunshine
feels great on my face. I’m looking forward to Saturday. Mmm, coffee.

My somewhat facetious point is that your brain will manufacture thoughts all day long. That’s its
job. These thoughts and narratives are just thought events, and no more represent your truth than
the thought I really like peas makes you a jolly green giant.

When you gently notice the thoughts you have about failing or screwing up, you have the
opportunity to see them as just thoughts, not reality. And that gives you the opportunity to say
“Oh hey, it’s you, thanks for stopping by. You know what, though? I’m capable of so much
more, and I’m going to be just fine.” (Want to explore this idea a bit further? Here's a three-step
process to adjust your mindset in any situation.)

Engage, Don’t Resist

Fear of failure drives you to do two things. First, it makes you want to increase your odds of not
screwing up. So you work to ensure that what you deliver will be what people expect. You work
to ensure the right boxes are ticked. And you work to ensure your own safety as a priority.

Second, it makes you hold back—even just a little bit—so that if things do go pear-shaped you
can justify it to yourself and devolve yourself of responsibility. So you don’t voice your opinion
in case it gets you noticed. You resist going all in, because it’s safer to keep things at arms
length. And you build walls so you know just how far you can safely go.

These things, by the way, are exactly what stifles creativity and innovation, turns work into
struggle, and prevents you from doing truly great work. You’re more likely to fail by resisting
than you are by engaging.

Know Failure Is Not the Enemy

Let’s get down to brass tacks. There’s no way of knowing how things will turn out ahead of time,
and it’s entirely possible that you might screw up and experience failure. So what? You’ve
screwed up before, and you’re still here. You’ve failed before, and you learned from it. You’ve
been there when the brown stuff hit the fan, and you got through it.

Failure is just something that happens from time to time, like a rain shower, indigestion, or a
Netflix binge. It’s no more an indicator of how good you are, how capable you are, or how
valuable you are than a hole in your sock is an indicator that you can’t be trusted to wear clothes.

So perhaps failure isn’t what you should be fearing after all. In fact, even scarier is not being
willing to fail in the first place.

Reading this before you start a new position? Here’s a free checklist of everything to do the
night before your first day.
5 reasons you’re afraid to get a new job
A better job is waiting for you. These tips for overcoming fear of change can
give you the boost you need.
Lee Price, Monster contributor
For most job seekers, the phrase “new job” is exciting because it signals opportunities to learn
new skills, expand your network, and build your resume. But change can also be scary.

While you have nothing to be afraid of with this furry, purple Monster, certain parts of the job
search process can be more terrifying than things that go bump in the night.

According to a 2018 Monster poll, the majority (38%) of U.S. respondents said they were most
afraid of interviewing, while 33% might not even make it that far because they’re scared their
resume might go “into a black hole on the Internet” when applying to jobs. Other fears come
toward the end of the job search process, which include negotiating salary (16%) and being
turned down for a job offer (13%).

So while job search fear is a real thing for many people, you can’t let it crush your career. If you
find you’re having a hard time getting your wheels in motion to start your job search, it might be
time to confront your fears. After all, time doesn’t move in reverse.

“The average person spends roughly one-third of their life at work,” says Kelsey Bye, a career
coach in San Francisco. “That's a lot of time to let yourself feel unfulfilled, unchallenged,
underpaid, and unappreciated.”

Read on for five reasons you might be afraid of getting a new job, along with some ideas for how
to overcome your fears.

You’re scared to leave your current employer hanging

“What will they do without me?” Julie Vessel, a Minneapolis-St. Paul career coach who counsels
professionals in marketing and advertising, hears this question a lot.

“For loyal folks,” she says, “the thought of disappointing their current employer or leaving them
empty-handed at a busy time is paralyzing.”

Loyalty to an employer is admirable, but what about your loyalty to your career? “You have to
be the one looking out for your best interest—and career growth,” says Vessel.

Face your fear: “Give your all until the very last minute of your employment,” Vessel says.
“That way you leave as the person who gave their best every single day, not the person who
dropped the ball.”

You are what you do

Denver-based career coach Leila Hock says many people are afraid to get a new job because
their identity is tied to their current job.

“People often take refuge in their title, the company they work for, or their industry as
identifying their self-worth,” Hock says. “When that is the case, the idea of transitioning to a
new job can feel like they are transitioning their identity—not just what they do to pay the bills.”
And that can be as unsettling as looking in the mirror and seeing someone else’s face instead of
your own.

Face your fear: Caroline Beaton, Kununu's millennial career expert and a Denver-based writer
who uses psychological studies to understand millennials at work, suggests getting to know
yourself better before you take a leap. “Understand your strengths and how you can and want to
contribute to an organization,” she says. A simple way to tap into this is to practice self-
affirmation. “You’re more than just your job," adds Hock. "You are a complex, well-rounded
being with interests, broader qualities, and diverse skills.”

You’re worried you might hate your new job

The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t, right? “I've seen a lot of folks stay in
miserable jobs for fear that they could be even more miserable somewhere else,” Vessel says.

“When things aren't great in your job, it's easy to assume that's just the way it is: long hours, bad
supervisors, demanding clients,” says Vessel. “But when things are bad, you owe it to yourself to
go in search of better.”

Face your fear: Plenty of people actually don’t loathe their jobs—in fact, a whole lot of people
really love what they do.So conquer your fear and your ignorance by doing some research about
other companies. Go on informational interviews. Investigate the cool company perks that are
offered elsewhere. Attend a networking event to meet people who work at other companies, and
find out how they like their jobs. Your fear may turn out to be as credible as the boogeyman.

You’re convinced you can’t hack it

Do you chalk up all your accomplishments to luck and battle a persistent fear of failing or fear of
being exposed as a fraud? Imposter syndrome can drag even the smartest, most competent
professional down a dark hole of despair.

Know you’re not alone. “This is a fear that many people face at some point, personally and
professionally,” says Cathey Stamps, a career coach and former therapist.

Face your fear: One simple way to overcome self-doubt is by carefully reading job descriptions
for your ideal job role. Study the duties involved and the skills required. Ask yourself: What
skills am I using in my current job that are transferable to the job I want? What additional skills
do I need to learn?

“Take the time to learn from your past—what worked for you as well as what didn't—and trust
those lessons,” Stamps says. “With an honest assessment, you are much more able to
acknowledge your own skills and see where you need additional learning and support.”
You positively hate being the new kid

You’re comfortable at your current job. You have a routine, you have friends, you know how to
find the best coffee in the building. Leaving that comfort zone and having to figure out the office
politics—let alone where to eat lunch—among a new set of co-workers can be terrifying.

Face your fear: “The unknown can certainly be troubling, but it's seldom as bad as we think it's
going to be,” Bye says. One way to get over your fear of being the new kid on the block at work:
Start pushing yourself to meet new people now. Seek out new experiences. Join new groups and
clubs outside of work. The more practice you have meeting new people and navigating the
unknown, the more comfortable you’ll be stepping out in search of a new job.

Scared you won’t find a job? Do this.

Are the demons in your head telling you that you’ll never find a job? Don’t listen them. Join
Monster for free today. As a member, you not only get job alerts emailed right to your inbox,
which cuts down on the amount of time you’d spend combing through ads, but you can upload
up to five versions of your resume—each tailored to different types of jobs that interest you.
Recruiters search Monster every day looking to fill top jobs with qualified candidates, just like
you. Let Monster help make the job search process a little less scary for you.

How to: Stop feeling nervous about starting a

new job
by Amber Rolfe

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Regardless of where you are in your career, starting a new job can be a scary ordeal…

You won’t know anyone, you’ll be oblivious to the team dynamic, and even your job role will be
a mystery to you at this stage. And, let’s face it, who isn’t scared of the unknown?

To ease your first day anxieties, here are our top tips to help you stop feeling nervous about
starting a new job:
Remind yourself what you’ll actually be doing

When you’re caught up in first day nerves, it can be easy to lose sight of why you’re really there.

So, take some time out beforehand to go over the job description for your new role, and remind
yourself of your responsibilities. That way you’ll be able to go in with a real sense of purpose,
not to mention know what to expect as the weeks progress.

Secondly, think about what made you want the job, and what helped you land it in the first place.
If you’re having a sudden urge of insecurity, remember that the employer hired you for a reason.
They obviously have faith in your abilities and believe you’ll be a great fit for the role – so you
should believe it too.

At the very least, focusing on the day-to-day aspects of the job role instead of the fact that it’s
your first day will distract you from the ‘new job fear’.

Don’t expect to know everything

It might be tempting to carry the interview façade through to your first day (even if you’re
secretly terrified) – but don’t feel like you have to be excel at absolutely everything straight
away.

You’ve already passed the biggest test, as you’ve already got the job. All you need to do now is
keep up a good level of confidence, avoid coming across arrogant, and most importantly, display
a real willingness to learn.

Your boss expects you to be unsure of things at this stage, so don’t be afraid to ask questions –
and try not to panic too much if you make a mistake. Minor errors are all part of the learning
process, and your employer will generally be understanding of any mistakes you might make
early on.

Just make sure you take accountability for your actions. You’re far better off admitting to
anything that goes wrong, and trying to find a resolution than trying to hide it. It could be easier
to fix than you think, and trying to brush it under the rug isn’t very tactful – or professional.

Remember that you won’t be new forever

New things are scary – and it’s totally natural to feel anxious about starting a new job. But
remember: it will pass.

If your fear is getting out of hand, remember that new things always turn into familiar things. It
just takes time. Reassure yourself that you’ve tackled the biggest hurdle, and the even-more-
terrifying test (in other words, the recruitment process) is over. If you got through that, you can
get through this.

Before you know it, the role will be second nature to you, you’ll know everyone (at least on a
first name basis), and you’ll understand your colleagues’ likes and dislikes enough to know what
kind of jokes are appropriate and what ones aren’t.

For an additional boost, try and convert your anxiety into excitement. Thinking of the bigger
picture will help to ease your stress and settle into your new situation.

Be on your best behaviour

Although it probably goes without saying, the basic rules apply more than ever at this stage.

So, to make sure your nerves aren’t heightened by a stern chat from your boss within your first
week on the job – always be on time, work hard, avoid desktop distractions, and be friendly and
cooperative with your colleagues.

First impressions really are important, and coming into a new job with a positive attitude and
willingness to learn will definitely work in your favour – and help you to pass your probationary
period with flying colours.

After all, there’s a time and place for ‘me-time’. The first week isn’t the time to be testing
boundaries.

Don’t be too big for your boots

In a pursuit to impress, it can be tempting to make promises you might not be able to keep.

But, even if your intentions are good, always assess your abilities before agreeing to any new
tasks or duties. Although you shouldn’t foreground the areas you lack certain skills or experience
in, you also shouldn’t put on a front if they come up.

Similarly, if your role involves leading a team, don’t go on a crazed power trip in an attempt to
suck up to your superiors. Instead, take time to learn and observe, and wait until your team
knows and trusts your work ethic before you start firing difficult orders at them.

Because sometimes gaining respect from those around you can be the most important
challenge…
Write it all down

Whether its general instructions, login information, passcodes, or a to-do-list, it’s always best to
have a notepad and a pen to hand to write all the important stuff down as and when you hear it.

Chances are, you’ll be bombarded with a lot of information on your first day alone, and it’ll be
an impossible feat to fit it all in your head in amongst the excitement, nerves, and various
colleagues’ names.

Keeping a written account of what you need to do and remember will help you stay on track
throughout your induction period – and stop your mind from trailing off into a haze of stress.

It might also help you remember where to find the coffee. Nobody wants to forget that.

Why You’re TERRIFIED To Find A New Job

(Even If You’re Completely Miserable)
Ariella Coombs

April 18, 2018

You hate your job. You find yourself complaining about it daily to your family and friends.
Every Sunday night, you tell yourself that you’re going to finally quit and find a new job because
you just can’t take it anymore. ... But you don’t. (Psst! Can’t get hired? Watch this free tutorial.)
Instead, you go to work, come home, complain, and start the whole cycle over again. You’re
completely miserable in your current job, but you’re absolutely terrified to find a new job. But
why?

You’re afraid of the unknown.

Yes, starting a new job can be scary. You have to adapt to a new work environment, make new work
friends, and even learn some new skills - and you don’t know if you’ll even like it after everything's said
and done. What if it turns out to be worse than your last job? What if they don’t like you? What if you
don’t fit in? What if you don’t perform on the level they expected? It’s similar to starting at a new school
where you don’t know anyone, where anything is, or how your teachers are going to be. The truth is,
starting a new job can be intimidating. You’re walking into a new situation and you’re not sure what to
expect. The best thing you can do is get to know the company as much as you can before accepting a job
there. Learn it inside out, make an effort to get to know people you’d be working with over LinkedIn or
coffee, and ask questions that can give you insight on the company culture.
You’re not confident in what you have to offer.
Don’t feel like you’ve got what it takes to make it anywhere else? Afraid to find a new job because you
don’t want to look like an incompetent employee? If you think you’re lacking the skills to succeed
elsewhere, take an inventory of your skill sets then compare them to the skill sets that are required for
the jobs you’re considering. What are you missing? Where do you need to ramp up your skills? Do you
have additional skills that could lend themselves to the job? How and why?

You’re not really sure what you have to offer.

You need to understand what you have to offer so you can market yourself effectively to employers.
Again, go in and take a look at your skill sets. Think about past accomplishments at work. What have you
achieved? What are you proud of? What problem do you solve at your current company?

You don’t know what you want to do next.

You want to find a new job, but you have no idea what you want to do. All you know is that you hate
your current job and you want out. If you’re having trouble figuring out what you want to do next, you
need to take some time to explore. Research different jobs, industries, and companies. Talk to people
about their work, why they like it, hate it, and what excites them about it. Take some time to figure out
what interests you and what projects energize you.

You’re afraid of the financial repercussions.

What if you don’t get the benefits you have at your current job? What if you have to take a pay cut?
What if it takes too long to find a new job and you run out of money? Research competitive salary rates
using the Glassdoor Know Your Worth salary calculator before you look for a new job. Research the
companies you’re interested in to learn about what kinds of benefits they offer employees. It’s
important to understand what your priorities and must-haves are in your new job. The last thing you
want to do is accept a job knowing that it won’t meet your needs because it will just result in you
looking for a new job in a few months. However, understand that you might not necessarily make the
same paycheck as your current job. Research so you know what to expect.