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The Life Changing Coach

LIVE YOUR INSPIRED LIFE !

Caring For Yourself In Stressful Times Self


Coaching Programme

Monica Porter
© Copyright Monica Porter 2020
All rights reserved.
Contents
Caring For Yourself In Stressful Times.................................................................... 2
The Importance Of Caring For Yourself ................................................................. 3
Being Balanced And Busy ....................................................................................... 4
Being Honest With Yourself ................................................................................... 5
Creating A Positive Mindset ................................................................................... 6
Holistic Health ........................................................................................................ 7
Wheel Of Work/ Life Balance................................................................................. 8
How Wobbly Is Your Wheel? ................................................................................. 8
Stress! – The Modern Day Killer........................................................................... 12
SMART Goal Setting ............................................................................................. 12
Action Planning .................................................................................................... 13
Compassionate Listening ..................................................................................... 14
SOS! ...................................................................................................................... 15
Restoring Balance In Life ...................................................................................... 17
Taking Care Of Your Body .................................................................................... 18
Caring For Your Mind ........................................................................................... 19
The Body/ Mind Connection ................................................................................ 20
The Power Of Visualisation .................................................................................. 22
Caring For Your Soul ............................................................................................. 24
Learning To Meditate ........................................................................................... 26
Creating Your Self-Nurturing Future On Your Terms ........................................... 28
Living Your Inspired Life ....................................................................................... 30
The Benefits Of Having Your Personal Life Coach ................................................ 31
About The Author

Welcome from Monica Porter


The Life Changing Coach
Welcome to this popular self-coaching E-book!
Popular because many of us don’t treat ourselves as
important enough to be first in line for attention – and we all
know it!
Thank you for recognising this trait in yourself and
committing to change it. Change means growth!
As Ghandi said, “Be the change you want to see in the
world” it starts with each one of us taking charge of our own
personal development and you are already empowering
yourself by choosing this programme.
We all experience anxious or stressful times in life, when we
can feel overwhelmed and unable to cope. At these times we
need to be able to support ourselves and have coping
mechanisms to ride above the wave of difficulties and have a
safe landing on the shore of personal success.
We all desire true happiness and fulfilment; however, we
can’t achieve it unless we can recognise and value our own
needs and honour our feelings and desires.
We experience stress or anxiety when we are not
acknowledging our needs and not listening to our feelings,
which will always tell us truly what is going on inside.
Caring for Yourself in Stressful Times
Getting the most from your Self Coaching Programme
I’m so pleased you have decided to embark on a self-
development programme which can seriously enhance your
life and well-being.
To get the most out of this programme it is important to
answer all the questions honestly and write down your answers
in a journal.
Journaling is a very powerful way record your progress and
leads to deeper self-understanding along the way.
Take some quiet time to reflect on your learning and write
down any realisations you have to help you move forward.
Part of the coaching process will be to create an overall goal
for your self-care which you will break down into action steps
as you go through this Ebook.
• We will look at 5 areas of your life together:
• Work/ life balance
• Body/ life balance
• Mind/ life balance
• Soul/ life balance
• Create a dynamic goal for your future
• Create an action plan for your ideal life

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The Importance of Caring for Yourself
• As a carer ask yourself– what is it you do for others that
they appreciate the most and thank you for?
• Why is that important to them? What do they receive
from someone caring for them?
• Make a list of as many ideas as possible – often called a
brainstorm; or do a mind map on a sheet of paper if you
like to work visually.
• What do you receive from caring for others?
• Again, write down your ideas.
• How is that important to you? Write down everything
that comes to mind. Put the paper aside for a few hours
or a day and allow other ideas to come into your mind,
giving you deeper insights every time you think about it.
• Reflect on your answers – what do you realize about
yourself?
• Now answer these questions honestly and with some
thought:-
• Do you give yourself the same amount of attention and
care as you do others?
• Do you give yourself more importance or less value than
you give to others? WHY?
• Write down your answers and be totally honest with
yourself
• No-one is listening into your self talk!

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Being Balanced and Busy
We all lead busy lives and it is easy to get frayed at the edges
of our emotions when we feel overwhelmed by everything we
have to do and everyone we have to take care off.
The art we want to learn is to remain balanced and centered
whilst being busy. When we are stressed the body/ mind goes
into the fight and flight response and slows down some of our
bodily systems it doesn’t need to make the escape – like the
digestive system.
In the brain, the blood flow is reduced and we can’t think
effectively, so we become less efficient. So you can see why
it is really important to reduce stress levels.
During stress and anxiety, cortisol is released into the
bloodstream and excess cortisol is damaging to the body and
contributes to the aging process – another reason we need to
manage stress.
We are habitual beings and we usually get triggered by the
same or similar things all the time.
This is because the brain pattern matches in it’s attempts to
be efficient in managing your experiences. So it is useful to
start noticing what triggers your stress or anxiety.
You may notice if it is:
• People that stress you
• Or work load
• Deadlines
• Feeling out of control
• Feeling vulnerable

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Being Honest with Yourself
These questions will reveal to you some of the triggers that
cause your stress response:-
• What does it mean to you to be balanced? Think back to
a time when you felt really chilled and balanced -
• How do you feel when you are balanced?
• Keep a journal throughout the day/ week and note down
the things that affect your equilibrium:
• some hints:-
• What people say or do?
• Stressful events?
• Overwhelm?
• Feeling out of your depth?
• Not understanding something?
• Feeling/ looking stupid?
• Not getting enough sleep?
• People’s demands on you?
• Not enough (or any) me time?
• Make notes in your journal of the trigger events and the
mind triggers that give you stress.
• Choose the most important trigger you have identified and
write a positive goal around it that you can experiment
with over the next week.

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• For example; “When I am feeling stressed by the kids I
will stop blaming them and take some deep breaths”.
• Or, “Instead of avoiding the person I don’t like at work I
will be more assertive with them”.
No doubt you can come up with many more ideas!
If you prefer, write them all down and then choose one to set
a goal to experiment with.

Creating a Positive Mindset


• What did you learn from the last exercise? Note down in
your journal.
• When do you feel balanced?
• How do you feel when you are balanced:-
• What do you do better?`
• Do you achieve more?
• Are you less stressed or anxious?
• Do you have more confidence?
• How are your thoughts different?
• Write down all the positives of being balanced

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Holistic Health

• Holistic means balance in all areas of yourself self and of


your life:
• Creating balance and harmony
• A sense of well-being in
• Body, Mind and Soul
• Feeling centered and aligned inside
• No stress, relaxed,
• Content with yourself
• Living in the present moment
• Where are you on the daily treadmill?

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Wheel of Work/ Life Balance
• Complete the wheel on the next page and see how
balanced you are – this may be quite a revelation!

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How Wobbly is your Wheel?

• No doubt you had a wobbly wheel?


• Notice how balanced it is – or not. If this is your wheel of
life is it limping along on a bumpy ride?
• Which areas give you the most stress?
• Are they also the areas you rated low?
• Now imagine you have been advised by your GP to
radically change your lifestyle for the benefit of your
health and well-being.
• From your wheel – which 2 areas would need the most
radical changes?
• In which 2 areas do you experience the most stress or least
satisfaction?
• Choose 2 areas from your wheel to radically change,
which you feel will make a big difference to your life
balance and sense of well-being.
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• Write down your realisations to reflect on later in your
quiet time when you are able to look deeper into what you
have discovered about
Don’t forget to note your reflections and realisations down
in your journal.

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Stress! – The modern day killer
• Look at your wheel of life -
• Where are the major stressors?
• What are they?
• Who creates your stress?
• We cant blame anyone or anything else for our stress –
we create it internally!
• How can you change it?
• Looking at the 2 areas you have chosen to work with,
write yourself a goal for each, which will begin to make
the changes you desire in your life. Note them in your
journal.

SMART Goal Setting


To set really dynamic and meaningful goals they need to be
SMART – this is an acronym which helps us with crafting
specific goals:
• Specific
• Measurable
• Achievable
• Realistic
• Timebound
Now look at your goals and check they are SMART, if not
rewrite them and note them in your journal. Your next step is
to create an action plan to break down your goals into
manageable steps.

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The reason we do this in coaching is to prevent you feeling
overwhelmed by the possibility of massive change. If we take
the smallest step we are still progressing and there are laws
that say how long change has to take – it is totally at our own
pace.

Action Planning
The easiest way to do this for each goal is as follows:
• Set an action to take today – it has to be something
realistic for you to do.
• Set an action for this week
• Set an action for this month – looking ahead with a
positive attitude that you will have made some progress
by then
• Set an action point for this year. This one should take you
some way to achieving your goal if it is a major one.
• Of course, a smaller goal may have been achieved before
then and you will be onto the next goal!
Can you see the importance of setting a date by which you
wish to achieve your goal? Without a date you cant plan your
action steps and the time scale you set for each step will be
according to your goal end date. Of course, goals are not set in
stone, you can move the dates as you wish if there are
obstacles along the way, that’s no problem, no-one is holding
you to account except yourself.
The benefit of having your own life coach is they will
hold you accountable and keep you on track!

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Compassionate Listening
• Do you listen compassionately to yourself as you would
with others?
• Now you’ve chosen your 2 areas to work with be
compassionate with yourself and your realisations about
your life. You are constantly learning on your journey of
self-discovery – so make it fun not hard work!
• Opening your heart and opening your mind to your inner
needs.
• Being Non-judgemental with yourself
• Listening with respect to your inner voice and honouring
your feelings
• Giving yourself quiet time to reflect without interruption
– “Me Time” is so important…

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SOS!
We know SOS is the emergency call sign Save Our Souls
and this is the perfect antidote to stress!
I call it Save Our Sanity!
Try this process out whenever you feel stress and you will
learn how to manage more effectively:
Notice when you feel the stress trigger, then:
• Stand back! Step away mentally from the situation.
• Observe…What exactly is going on in your mind and
body right now. Become the detached observer of the
situation and view your thoughts and feelings from
another angle.

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• Steer! Steering your thoughts in a more positive direction
can break the stress response; so can changing your
physiology, so if your body is tense and you are holding
your breath, deliberately move to release the tension and
take some deep breaths. Get up and move around or do
something different to take your mind off the issue.
Breaking your state by changing your physiology will
stop the feeling of stress and allow you to deal with it
effectively.

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Restoring Balance in Life

• Restoring balance means creating harmony internally by


equally looking after
• Your body
• Your mind
• Your Soul or spirit
• You need the balance of all 3, if one is out of balance you
will not feel aligned and centered in yourself or your life.
• When in balance you will feel fulfilled - feeling full inside,
satisfied.
• Real fulfillment comes from feeling at one and at peace with
yourself and your life.

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Taking Care of Your Body
• The Physical Body is like a vehicle that needs regular
servicing: It needs correct nourishment, sleep,
stimulation, water, cleanliness, exercise, balance and
relaxation.
• Moderate exercise relaxes as well as stimulates muscles
by getting rid of lactic acid from tensions held in with
stress.
• The mind and body are interlinked so, if the mind is
relaxed it will support the body in being relaxed. It has
been scientifically proven that stress in the mind can
cause physical symptoms like Irritable Bowel Syndrome,
headaches and more.
• Have a daily practice of relaxation such as 7/11 breathing,
Yoga, Tai Chi, meditation, taking time to relax and
contemplate your day, time out for enjoyment.
• Contemplate a new goal for your Body and
• write it down in your journal, checking it is SMART.

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Caring for Your Mind
By observing the thoughts in your mind you can get to know
yourself better and begin to make your mind your best friend
with Positive Thinking

Check:
• What types of thoughts do you have most?
• Positive?
• Negative?
• Necessary?
• Wasteful?
• Daydreaming?
• Stressful?
• Practical?
• Practice checking and changing your thoughts on a
regular basis. Your mind is the only thing no-one can
change or influence unless you allow them to!
• Thoughts Create Your Future!
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The Body/ Mind Connection
“As you think so you become”
The mind creates an immediate effect on your physiology.
Muscle testing through kinesiology can reveal how your
subconscious mind is reacting to a situation via the feeling in
your body – this is a complete science-based holistic therapy.

• Experiment with your body/mind connection:


• Think - “I am stressed” and notice the effect on your body
• Think - “I am relaxed” and notice the difference!
• Think of something negative that happened to you and
notice the feelings you have in your body.
• Think of something wonderful that happened to you and
notice your physiology change and your mood change
too!
• How easy it will become for you to use these tools to
change your thoughts and feelings in an instant!
Freedom is an attitude of Mind!

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“Everything can be taken from us but one thing – the last
of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any
given circumstance.”
Viktor Frankl – from his book – “Man’s Search For Meaning”

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The Power of Visualisation
• Visualisation is a powerful way to calm the mind, or
create a successful outcome.
• Create a safe sacred space for your daily relaxation or
meditation.
• Create a clear intention of how you would like your life
to be a year from now.
• Visualise yourself living that life as if it were now.
Completely immerse yourself in the thoughts, feelings,
sights, sounds.
• What are you wearing?
• Notice the scenery.

• Who is with you? What are you doing?


• What are you experiencing that inspires you?
• What is fulfilling your soul?
This is a brilliant exercise to do with your coach, who will
guide you through it more effectively than reading it here.

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Complete your new goal for your mind and write it down in
your journal, checking it is SMART.

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Caring for Your Soul
I heard a very good description of depression recently and I
think it is very apt:
“Depression happens when the Soul is ready to progress
and the Ego refuses to listen”.

We tend to be ruled by the ego unless we are prepared to


listen to the still small voice inside. Some people call it the
intuition or the higher self – the all-knowing self – because we
are the only people who really know ourselves; but are we
really listening to our more subtle needs?
Meditation in the morning Is like breakfast for your
soul!
In meditation you get in touch with your Soul and get to
know your innermost self or “Higher Self”. This is a very
rewarding journey.

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• By knowing yourself better you create a positive attitude
to yourself and others
• By tapping into your Divine goodness you create an inner
resource of power which helps you deal with difficult
situations.
• Imagine yourself as a fully empowered, fully self-realised
human being; true to your values and beliefs, living the
fulfilling life you love…
• Now write yourself a goal for your Soul journey – a
journey of self-fulfillment. Write it in your journal and
check it is SMART – although it is impossible to put a
date on your spiritual development as it is a life-long
journey!

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Learning to Meditate
There are many guided meditations on line and classes you
can attend.
I have recorded a beginners’ meditation for you, which you
will have received with this programme.
It is easier to learn to meditate in a group, however, here is
a brief outline of a starter meditation you can try.
I have also posted some on YouTube which will be easier to
follow.
• Sit comfortably and turn off your phone
• Play gentle uplifting music to calm and soothe you if you
wish
• Focus on a lighted candle or close your eyes
• Use essential oils to change your mood if this appeals to
you
• Relax your body…
• Breathe deeply….
• Notice your body begin to release tension
• Create positive peaceful thoughts in your mind
• Or visualize a place you like where you feel very relaxed
• Take yourself there mentally and “see” it in your mind’s
eye
• Recreate the feeling of relaxation you had when you were
there

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• Remember you are more than just a body you have a
higher spiritual self as well – your Soul
• Remember it is the soul that meditates and your Soul is a
tiny being of light radiating peaceful, loving feelings.
• Focus on the highest feelings inside
• Create thoughts of peace, calm, love etc
• Tune into that feeling and gently let go of all thoughts that
come into your mind as they arise, leaving space to just
be…
• Relax deeply into the experience
• Send your loving feelings out into the world….

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Creating your Self-nurturing Future on
Your Terms

• Choose one aspect of self-care you always wanted for


yourself. Imagine it in great detail as if it is happening
right now.
• Tune into the feelings, sights, sounds, until you really
experience it fully – imagine it in full technicolour! Give
yourself lots of time to indulge in this exercise!
• Think of a color that will remind you of this experience
and use it daily until you embed the connection between
the color and the positive nurturing feeling. The more you
practice it the quicker it will re-emerge the feeling inside.
• Ask yourself:
• “Why is this aspect of self-care important to me?
• “What does this caring give me?
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• Create a new goal for your self-care, write it in your
journal and check it is a SMART goal.

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Living Your Inspired Life
• Complete your goals for your body, mind and soul and
break the points down into manageable chunks to form an
action plan.
• Write action points for each of the two areas you wish to
change from your wheel.
• Explore further self-development courses or coaching if
you wish, to support you in your journey.
• Have a self-care buddy so that you can support each other.

• You are the master creator of your life, so take good care
of your thoughts and feelings.
• Create the future you desire – Good Luck!
• “Be the change you wish to see in the world” as Ghandi
said.

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The Benefits of having Your Personal
Life Coach
• Your coach’s role is to ask you incisive questions to elicit
the answers from deep within your psyche. Answers you
didn’t even know you knew!
• Your life coach will help you define and refine your goals
and enable you to achieve them faster than you can on
your own.
• Your life coach keeps you accountable for your actions
and helps you overcome blocks that are holding back your
success.
• Your coach will unravel your confusion and enable you
to create a clear path on your journey to success on your
terms
• To book your Life Changing Coach

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• Check out my website for more information and
testimonials from others on the benefits they’ve had from
coaching:
www.thelifechangingcoach.com

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Call Monica, your Life Changing Coach for a 15 minute
exportation
07908314575
Or check out the website for special offers
www.thelifechangingcoach.com
Copyright Monica Porter 2020
Well-being Coach and Therapist

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