Translation Outline and Process

1) Preparing to Translate:

a) Purpose (How will this be used)

i) Function (Speakers Intention) ii) Expected Audience

iii) Length and Time to Translate iv) Competence

This translation will be used to educate students in the setting of a high school health

class. It will be presented to students who use ASL as well as to those who use LSL. It is

intended to be used year after year to teach the students about different diet choices. The

speaker's goal is to explain why she is vegetarian. She also explains how eating habits have

changed over time. The expected audience is a high school health class. The audience will

change as it is expected to be used for many years. The video that is needing to be translated is 1

minute and 54 seconds and I have been given around two weeks to complete the desired

translation.

(1) SL

After watching the SL message for the first time I believe I have a generally good

understanding of the main concept. There will be multiple sections that I will have to

slow down or watch multiple times in order to gain an understanding of what is being

said. One section that I am struggling with in particular is 0:11-0:14. She is saying

something about how diets have changed but I do not understand how that connects to

“ENVIRONMENT”. The fingerspelling in the video at around:39 seconds is super

fast and it will take me a few times to catch what is being said. It also took me many

times watching it to understand what a specific sign meant, it turns out, it means

OVERWEIGHT.

(2) TL

Since I am translating into my first language it will be easier to achieve

equivalence and a sense of naturalness. When I achieve an understanding of the SL I

will then be able to compare my translation to the SL message and test it for

equivalence. In general, I have a basic understanding of what words could be used to

adequately describe the meaning of the original message. If not, I will still have to use

my resources (the internet) in order to find what words best describe the ideas. Some

of the signs that were difficult for me was HUNGRY and ORDER. For Hungry I tried

to pick what was best for the context and chose the English word crave.

(3) Subject Area

This subject is not something I know a great deal about, making it slightly more

difficult for me to understand. I have the resources of the internet in order to make

sure that I am accurately understanding the main points. I can do pre-assignment

research for a general understanding of the topic and then during-assignment research

to understand specific concepts presented. I believe that I can gain sufficient

background knowledge through research of the topic so I am prepared for the

translation. I do not have any strong opposing or supporting feelings about the topic. I

believe I will be able to translate effectively after I have developed my understanding.

I ended up using the internet to learn more about what vegetarians can and can’t eat.
 2) Analyzing the Meaning of the Text

a) Words b) Ideas c) Sentences d) Whole

When looking at the meaning of the words there are some that I do not understand or

know how to phrase. The sign “SUNRISE” doesn’t necessarily connect to the concept of

Modern-Day but I think that, because of the concept, it means “Nowadays” or “Modern-Day”. I

will write down “MODERN-DAY” in the translation for now and see if it changes when I learn

more. When watching the video there was one idea presented that I wasn’t sure how to translate.

This sign is at:20. I couldn't find the sign online but I am depending on the context to understand

the meaning. I will ask Derrick about the sign, but for now, I think it has the concept of “raw

materials”, “growing their own crops”, and “living off the land.” I also stepped away from the

sentences and came back to them later. Doing this helped me to recognize where mistakes were

made. A sentence that was presented in the video was “Not have them very often”. This is in

regards to those in the 1800s not eating the cookies very often. I was thinking that I could change

the perspective to be “only have them once in a while”. I am not sure if the meaning or tone is

changed by this change in perspective.

It is important to have an understanding of the overall context of the source language in

order to see how the sentences tie to the main idea. After watching the message a few times

through, I am now able to have an understanding of the main concept. The most central idea of

this SL video is “Explaining a Vegetarian Diet”.

3) Message Transfer

a) Unconscious Bias
 i) Subject matter

(1) Know too much (2) Lack of imagination

I do not have an unconscious bias about this translation by way of knowing too much. I

do not know a great deal about vegetarianism. I am starting to research the topic in connection to

this translation but do not hold strong personal opinions about it. I also do not know enough

about the subject for me to want to add information or correct any info when what is being stated

is false. Since I only have a very basic understanding of the topic, I can easily put myself into the

audience’s shoes. Of course, each person may have a different level of knowledge regarding the

topic, but I don’t think most of them would have an in-depth understanding of it. Being able to

visualize and imagine what their understanding may be about the subject before watching the

video, helped me to better translate the message. It also helped me with my word choice. I think

it is hard to visualize what the 1800s was really like since I did not experience it nor have I heard

many stories about that time and those people’s lifestyles.

ii) SL

The Source Language, in this case, is ASL. ASL is my second language, which

means that I have less of an understanding in terms of the cultural elements and

linguistic complexities of the language. When the Source Language is in my second

language it causes me to need more processing time. I can not easily listen to the

English language, rather, I need to give more effort in the comprehension step of the

translation process in order to simply understand what is being stated. I had to take

more time in the comprehension step by watching the video many times and writing

down small sections of what I understood until the ideas connected with each other.
 There were many places where I have been struggling to transfer the concept of

the TL to an equivalent concept for the SL. One, in particular, is the concept of

“THINK HUNGRY” when used in the present vs when describing the past. I know

they have different meanings and need to watch them again with the understanding of

the context to better understand.

iii) TL

The Target Language, in this case, is English. I am not insecure in my ability to

use English. I believe sometimes I struggle with translating ASL to English simply

because I want to find the best word to represent the idea accurately. I will use

synonyms and the Thesaurus in order to help me in this area. Since I have a deep

understanding of the linguistic complexities and cultural elements of the language I

can better translate the messages.

In this translation, I used my literacy in English to help me explain concepts

through common phrases. One example of this is, “living off the land.”

b) Transfer

i) Temporal

One part of the translation that may have been negatively affected if the temporal

relationships were not accurate was the section about where they get each ingredient

for the cookies. I decided that this section does not need to be kept in an appropriate

time sequence but may have been confusing if presented in a different section of the

video.
 ii) Spatial

An important spatial relationship that was set up was the distance of South

America from where they were at. This distance is shown to be far away and out of

view. The speaker also set up the spatial relationships of where to get flour, where the

cows are, where is the past, and where is the present. She set up the signing space in a

way that makes it easy to understand if she is discussing the past or present. Since I

am translating into English I will have to make some of the visual information

(Spatial relationships) explicit by stating if something is far away by using tone of

voice.

iii) Logical

One section that you may have needed to use logical relations was when she listed

the ingredients and then jumped to when the cookies were made. It is logical to

assume the cookies were made during the time that wasn’t mentioned. We can use the

concept of “if-then”. If she gets all of the ingredients, and then has cookies. It is

logical to assume that she made cookies from the ingredients.

c) Form vs Meaning

The Meaning of a message is the intent. The Form of a message is the actual words used.

The beginning form of this message is in ASL and becomes English after I translated it. The goal

of a translation is for the form to change but for the meaning to stay the same. I had to compare

my translation to the Target Language message numerous times in order to feel satisfied that the

form was equivalent. I struggled with one sentence because there were many forms that could be
used in English that would convey the same meaning. It is my responsibility as the translator to

find which one best fits the intent of the message. I created many forms of the following sentence

but ultimately decided on the following, “The government advertises that you need to eat red

meat, but that actually isn’t the case.”

d) Content Loss

i) Idioms

I am not aware of any idiomatic phrases within the original message. I did, in fact,

use an idiom in the translation because the concept that was being described had an

equivalent and commonly used phrase in the Target Message. This phrase is, “Living

off of the land.” This could be paraphrased as “Surviving from the raw materials that

are accessible.” That is the only idiomatic phrase that I used in hopes to better

describe the concept being explained.

ii) Neg. Self Talk

I do often struggle with Negative Self Talk. I know I caught myself multiple times

throughout this process thinking negative thoughts about my skills and abilities. Since

I had to watch the video so many times in order to understand all of the details, I

caught myself being negative. Some of the thoughts were similar to, “..and how did

you get into this program?”, “This is the third time you watched that section and you

still don’t understand it?”. These when I noticed new information that I had

previously missed. I know that negative self-talk is not productive and takes my focus
 away from my translation. I hope that as I continue to gain self-confidence, my

negative self-talk will decrease.

4) Reformulating the Message

a) Main Idea

The main idea is to express why she is a vegetarian.

i) Location of actors and objects

The signer uses the space around her a lot! After watching the video many times I

can tell that South America is placed on the right of the signer and the cow is on the

left. The flour is off to the right. It is amazing how she uses space and can set

everything up in so many different places with it still making sense. I think that her

use of space and facial expressions helped me to understand how long and involved

this process of making cookies really was. Using the space may be important in the

SL but is less important in the TL. It is important to include the information about the

ingredients being far away but it is not needed to say “the flour is far away to the

right”. Understanding the locations of actors and objects can help us understand the

main idea.

b) Idea Units

i) Statement, Question, Rhetorical, Command, etc.

It is important to convey the message with correct idea units. For example,

if a sentence is in a question form in the SL it should be a question in the TL.

 In the original video, they often used rhetorical questions. It is difficult to

always recognize idea units correctly and interpret them in a way that the

meaning is the same. One specific rhetorical question that I had to interpret

was, “CHOCOLATE CHIP HOW?” I interpreted this to be “In order to get

chocolate chips…”. Normally when I see rhetorical questions I think that I can

change it simply by saying “because” instead. I don’t believe that doing this,

in this situation, would be what best describes the message's meaning. I have

been trying to consistently change my grammar from word for word what the

speaker said, to follow the ASL grammar rules. It is important to understand

that normally it should be the same, a question stays a question, and a

command stays a command, but rhetorical questions are a bit different. We

don’t use rhetorical questions in the same way as we do in ASL and so we are

forced to change it in a way that is easily understandable for the TL audience.

An example of a statement that stays a statement is, “Their diet was still

healthy because they wouldn’t eat them very often.” The ASl sentence of the

above example is still a statement and can be found at 0:45. Other sentences

that I struggled with are, “Becoming a vegetarian helped my body to feel

balanced” and “In the past, as soon as they started feeling hungry they needed

to plan and prepare the food because of the process that was involved in

making it.” I had to practice and reformulate those statements many times in

order for it to sound like a grammatical English sentence.

c) Word level
 i) Borrowing ii) Modulation (+/-) iii) General to Specific (vice versa)

Borrowing can not be applied to this translation because it is a signed language to

a spoken language. I have recognized some places throughout the translation that I

could change the perspective but I am not sure if the meaning would change. One

example of this is by saying, “Not have them very often” and “Only have them once

in a while”. Not very often doesn’t imply any regularity. It is more seen as “on rare

occasions”. The saying “only have them once in a while” makes me think that they

have a set time every so often that they make them. I see, “They have them once

every other month” similarly to “on rare occasions”. Also, it is important to consider,

what is rare? What makes something “rare”? I will have to keep thinking about which

I want to use. Next, is specific to general. I do think that there are parts where the

details don't influence the main idea, and so I generalize them. An example of this is,

“AMERICANS ALL-AROUND”. Instead of saying, “Americans all across

America”, I said, “Americans”. It is important to make sure that the sentence sounds

correct in English and still matches the meaning of the SL.

5) Priorities in Translation

a) Contextual consistency b) Dynamic Equivalence c) Audience Needs

The original video was made so that the presentation could be used in the future. The

context of the video is explained on canvas under the “scenario”. This video was created in

hopes of teaching students about being a vegetarian. I hoped that the main idea was

understandable through my translation. I looked back on the canvas page throughout the process

to remind myself of my audience and the context in which this information will be given. I just
thought about how part of context equivalence could be formality and word choice in the

translation. I will have to change some words because they are too formal for this scenario.

Dynamic equivalence is all about impact. The TL and SL message should have the same

impact on the audience. I think this can apply back to word choice. When your messages aren’t

equivalent then you will struggle and might have “Formal Correspondence”. Since I can’t

measure the impact of the audience it is difficult to know what words or sentences will impact

the audience differently. As I reread my translation I changed the sentence, “The process in the

1800s to make cookies was a lot” to “Just imagine the process that was needed to make cookies

in the 1800s”. iI think the change in sentence structure and vocabulary makes it so the audience

would be impacted in the same way. Also, I need to keep in mind, that as I do the voice

translation, I need to express the same tones as her. Especially at the ending where she says,

“The basic vegetarian doesn't eat any meat.”

The audience for this video is a high school health class. This means that my vocabulary

shouldn’t be in Formal register and that my word choice should be understandable to those with

a very basic understanding of vegetarianism. This is specifically important to keep in mind when

talking about jargon. You need to make sure that the audience can understand it or what is the

point? For example, I could choose specific types of vegetarians, but it would not add to their

understanding, it would only confuse them. It is beneficial to have a specific audience in mind

while I am doing this because I can put myself in their shoes.

6) Testing the Translation

a) It is very important to test a translation because we need to know if our goal of equivalence

has been met. Translations should be faithful to the source text message and sound natural.
i) Accuracy

We test translations in order to see if they are accurate. As I look at my English

translation and compare it to the SL message, I am careful to make sure information

wasn’t added or lost. After reading through my translation I decided that it is

accurate. I didn’t end up changing anything. At this point in time, from what I can

tell, there is not any additions or implicit information that needed to become explicit.

ii) Clarity

We test for clarity within the translation in order to make sure it is easily

understandable for those who need it. After reading through my translation I made

slight changes because some of the information was not presented in a clear manner.

Some of the places I struggled with and had to edit was because I left out details that

actually turned out to be important. I had to add those details back in and see if it

flowed.

iii) Naturalness

We test for naturalness within translations so that the message can easily flow and

sound correct for native speakers. One section that I struggled with regarding this is

as follows, “In the past, as soon as they started to crave cookies they needed to plan

and prepare ahead of time because of the process that was involved in making it.”.

This sentence was difficult for me to form into English because although I understood

it and wrote it into English, it did not sound natural. I had to read the sentence to
 multiple people and use online grammar platforms to come up with a natural-

sounding sentence.

b) How

i) Comparison of SL (another translator)

I conducted this test myself throughout the translation process. I did this simply to

make sure that I had understood the section and that the sentences weren’t broken.

ii) Back Translation (someone who knows SL but hasn’t seen the text)

I had Derrick read my translation and then record himself signing it. By doing this

I was able to see if there was any information loss in my translation. I did not ask him

any questions about the meaning of signs until after he had recorded the video. This

was a really good test for me to understand what may be different in the form where

other places may be different in meaning. From this test, I found small errors and was

able to update my translation accordingly.

iii) Comprehension (speaker of TL)

I didn’t conduct this test.

iv) Naturalness (native TL user)

I conducted this test by asking my mother where, within the translation, does it

not sound natural. “Where does it sound as if it is a translation and not from this

language?” There were a few places that she pointed out were not correct English
 grammar. I made the changes and then repeated the process until she said it sounded

like Natural English (from written English).

v) Readability

I asked my mother to listen to me read it aloud and tell me where it doesn’t sound

natural. After I made the edits recommended, I had my brother read it. He had never

read or heard the translation before and so it was beneficial to see where he pauses or

stuttered while reading it aloud. I then looked back at those sections and edited them.

vi) Length (slightly longer)

I did not conduct this test.

c) Seriousness of Errors

i) Not Serious

There may be a few errors that are “Not Serious”. These errors may be because of

word choice or sentence structure. The overall concept is still understood but it is a

little hard to follow.

ii) Somewhat Serious

If I missed any details from the SL then I would have errors within this category. I

don’t believe that my translation includes any of these errors because, after a long

process, I have a clear understanding of the SL.

iii) Quite Serious

 I don’t think I have any errors that would be categorized as “Quite Serious”. If I

did then it would be because I followed the SL syntax instead of the TL syntax.

iv) Very Serious

I don’t believe there are any very serious errors. This would mean that I had not

correctly understood the SL message

Translations

Translation #1

I am Brooke and I want to explain the importance of planning your diet in a way that is

best for your health. In SUNRISE America it seems impossible because of the environment,

food, and what we eat. In the past, people would live… imagine 100 cookies. They want cookies

badly but it is a long process to do so. They would have to get on their horse, get flour and bring

it back. Then they would have to get the cows milk and churn it to make butter. How on earth did

they get chocolate chips? They would have to order it from South America and have it delivered.

The time it would take to make everything… delicious and shared with others…. They tasted

delicious. They were only able to have them once in a while, but that was fine by them.

Nowadays we go to the store and are ready to eat right then. We put it in the oven when in the

past it was much more of a process. In the past, they had to think when they would be hungry

and plan ahead because of the process involved. The problem for Americans now is that… where
not required to make the food?? I decided to change my diet and became a vegetarian. Becoming

a vegetarian helped me to balance my body. The government advertises that you must eat red

meat but really they are wrong. Your body doesn’t need meat because vegetables include protein.

These foods could be dark greens, nuts, or eggs. If you want eggs, then there are different levels

of becoming a vegetarian. Some vegetarians can drink milk or maybe can eat eggs, or fish. Some

people are called “Chicken vegetarians”, but really the basic rule is no meat. This means no red

meat, white meat, or fish.

Translation #2

I am Brooke and today I am going to explain the importance of planning your diet in a

way that is best for your health… In the past people would survive by..Just imagine, if people in

the 1800s wanted cookies They would want them so badly but would have to first go on their

horse and get some flour. Once back, they would have to get the cows milk and churn it into

butter. In order to get chocolate chips, they would have to order some from South America and

wait for them to be delivered. When everything was finally made the cookies tasted delicious

because of the fat from the butter and were so rich!... Their diet was still healthy because they

would not have them very often. Nowadays we go to the store and get chocolate chips easily. If

we are hungry we bake them without having to put forth too much effort. In the past, they would

have to think of when they will be hungry and plan in order to make food on time. The problem

for Americans now is that we don’t watch what we eat. We really should make food from

scratch. I decided to change my diet and become a vegetarian. Becoming a vegetarian helped me

to balance my body. The government that you need to eat red meat but really that isn’t true. Your

body doesn’t need red meat because vegetables include the protein necessary. Protein can be

found in dark greens, nuts, or eggs. If you want to eat eggs then you can. There are different
categories of vegetarians. Some vegetarians may drink milk or maybe choose to eat eggs or fish.

Some people are called “chicken vegetarians”, but really the basic rule is no meat. This means no

red meat, white meat, or fish.

Translation #3

I am Brooke. Today I am going to explain the importance of planning your diet in a way that is

best for your health. In modern America, there is a lot of obesity because of the environment and

the way we choose to eat. In the past, people would survive by collecting what was close by. Just

imagine the process that was needed to make cookies in the 1800s. If they really wanted cookies

then they first needed to get on their horses to get the flour. Once back, they would have to get

the cows milk and churn it into butter. In order to get chocolate chips, they would have to wait to

have them delivered from South America. When everything was finally made, the cookies would

taste delicious because of the fat from the butter. They were so rich and would be shared with

everyone. Their diets were still healthy because they would not eat them very often. Nowadays

we go to the grocery store and get ready to bake cookie dough. In those moments we want to

make it and bake it quickly because we are hungry. We are able to put it in the oven and before

we know it they will be ready! In the past, they would have to be aware of when they would be

hungry because they had to take the time and go through the process of making food. The

problem for Americans today is that we don’t watch what we eat. I realized that we really should

be making food from scratch, and so I decided to become a vegetarian. Becoming a vegetarian

helped me to balance my body. The government advertises that you need to eat red meat, but that

actually isn’t the case. Your body doesn’t need red meat because you can get the proteins you

need by eating vegetables. Protein can be found in dark greens, nuts, or eggs. If you want to eat

eggs then you can because there are different levels of being vegetarian. Some vegetarians may
drink milk or others may choose to eat eggs or fish. Some vegetarians are called, “chicken

vegetarians”. Really the basic rule is “no meat”, this included red meat, white meat, and fish.

Translation #4 (Rough Draft)

I am Brooke. Today I am going to explain the importance of planning your diet in a way that is

best for your health. In modern America, there is a lot of obesity because of the environment and

the way we choose to eat. In the past, people would survive by collecting what was close by. Just

imagine the process that was needed to make cookies in the 1800s. If they really wanted cookies,

then they first needed to get on their horses to get the flour. Once back, they would have to get

the cows milk and churn it into butter. To get chocolate chips, they would need to order them and

wait to have them delivered from South America. The cookies would taste delicious when they

were finally made because of the fat from the butter. They were so rich in flavor and would be

shared with everyone. Their diets were still healthy because they would not eat them very often.

Nowadays, we go to the grocery store and get ready to bake cookie dough. In those moments, we

want to make it and bake it quickly because we are hungry. We can put it in the oven and before

we know it they will be ready. In the past, they would have to be aware of when they would be

hungry because they had to take the time and go through the process of making food. The

problem for Americans today is that we don’t watch what we eat. We really should be making

food from scratch. So, I decided to become a vegetarian. Becoming a vegetarian helped me to

balance my body. The government advertises that you need to eat red meat, but that actually isn’t

the case. Your body doesn’t need red meat because you can get the proteins you need by eating

vegetables. Protein can be found in dark greens, nuts, or eggs. If you want to eat eggs then you

can, because there are different levels of being vegetarian. Some vegetarians may drink milk, or
others may choose to eat eggs and, others eat fish. Some vegetarians are called chicken

vegetarians. The basic rule is no meat, which includes red meat, white meat, and fish.

Translation #5

I am Brooke. Today I am going to explain the importance of planning your diet in a way that is

best for your health. American diets have changed, and there is now a lot of obesity, because of

the environment and how we choose to eat. In the past, people would survive by living off the

land. Just imagine the process that was needed to make cookies in the 1800s. If they really were

craving cookies, they first needed to get on their horses to go get flour. Once they got back they

would have to get the cows milk and churn it into butter. In order to get chocolate chips, they

would have to order them and wait for them to be delivered from South America. When the

cookies were finally made and ready the fat from the butter would make them taste delicious.

They were so rich in flavor and would be shared with everyone. Their diets were still healthy

because they would not eat cookies very often. Nowadays, we go to the grocery store and get

ready to bake cookie dough. In those moments, we are hungry and want to make it and bake it as

quickly as possible. We can put it in the oven and before we know it they will be ready. In the

past, as soon as they started to crave cookies they had to plan and prepare ahead of time because

the process of making food was very involved. The problem for Americans today is that we

don’t watch what we eat. We really should be making food from scratch. So, I decided to change

my eating habits and become a vegetarian. Becoming a vegetarian helped my body to feel

balanced. The government advertises that you need to eat red meat, but that actually isn’t the

case. Your body doesn’t need red meat because you can get the proteins you need by eating

vegetables, dark greens, nuts and eggs. Since there are different levels of being vegetarian, if you

want to eat eggs you can. Some vegetarians may drink milk, while others may choose to eat
eggs, or others will eat fish. Some vegetarians are called chicken vegetarians. The basic

vegetarian doesn’t eat any meat, which includes red meat, white meat, and fish.

Translation #6 (Final Translation)

I’m Brooke. Today I’m going to explain the importance of planning your diet in a way that is

best for your health. American diets have changed, and there’s a lot of obesity because of the

environment and how we choose to eat. In the past, people would survive by living off the land.

Just imagine the process of making cookies in the 1800s! If they were craving cookies, they had

to ride their horses to go get flour. Once they got back they would have to get the cows milk and

churn it into butter. In order to get chocolate chips, they’d have to order them from South

America and wait for them to be delivered. When the cookies were finally ready to eat, the fat

from the butter made them taste delicious. They were so rich and would be shared with everyone.

Their diets were still healthy because they wouldn’t eat cookies very often. Nowadays, we go to

the grocery store and get ready to bake cookie dough. In those moments, we’re hungry and want

to make it as quickly. So, we put them in the oven and they'll be ready in no time. In the past,

when they started craving cookies, they had to go through a long process to make them. The

problem for Americans today is that we don’t watch what we eat. We really should make food

from scratch. So, I decided to change my eating habits and become a vegetarian. Becoming a

vegetarian helped my body to feel balanced. The government advertises that you need to eat red

meat, but that isn’t true. Your body doesn’t need red meat because you can get the proteins you

need by eating vegetables, dark greens, nuts and eggs. Since there are different levels of being

vegetarian, if you want to eat eggs you can. Some vegetarians will drink milk, while others may

eat eggs, or others will eat fish. Some vegetarians are called chicken vegetarians. The basic

vegetarian doesn’t eat any meat, which includes red meat, white meat, and fish.