TRANSLATION PRACTICE

(Translation of Since There's No Help by Michael Drayton and

Poetry Translation Analysis)
Yogi Pratama Putra (18320219)
Class C

TRANSLATION PRACTICE
A. Translation of Since There's No Help by Michael Drayton
 SL: English
Since there’s no help, come let us kiss and part.
Nay, I have done, you get no more of me;
And I am glad, yea glad with all my heart,
That thus so cleanly I myself can free.
Shake hands for ever, cancel all our vows,
And when we meet at any time again,
Be it not seen in either of our brows
That we one jot of former love retain.
Now at the last gasp of Love’s latest breath,
When, his pulse failing, Passion speechless lies;
When Faith is kneeling by his bed of death,
And Innocence is closing up his eyes—
Now, if thou wouldst, when all have given him over,
From death to life thou might’st him yet recover!

 TL: Indonesian
Sebab tak ada lagi harapan, mari berkecup dan berpisah.
Tidak, tamat sudah, tak ada lagi aku dalam dirimu;
Aku senang, ya senang dengan sepenuh pasrah,
Demikian begitu murni aku dan kebebasanku.
Berjabat tangan selamanya, membatalkan semua janji kita,
Dan ketika kita bertemu entah kapan lagi,
Meski tak nampak jelas di wajah kita
Bahwa kita merupakan satu catatan kecil dari kenangan cinta abadi.
Sekarang di hembusan terakhir napas Cinta,
Ketika, denyut nadinya terhenti, Gairah terdiam menyepi;
Ketika Kesetiaan berlutut di samping ranjang kematiannya,
Dan matanya tertutup kepolosan murni—
Sekarang, jika engkau berhasrat, saat takdir mengambil alih,
Dari kematian menuju kehidupan, engkau mungkin ragu ia belum pulih!
POETRY TRANSLATION ANALYSIS
A. Translation of Sonnet 61 by William Shakespeare translated by M Hasan Tafsir
 SL: English
Is it thy will thy image should keep open
My heavy eyelids to the weary night?
Dost thou desire my slumbers should be broken,
While shadows like to thee do mock my sight?
Is it thy spirit that thou send’st from thee
So far from home into my deeds to pry,
To find out shames and idle hours in me,
The scope and tenor of thy jealousy?
O no; thy love, though much, is not so great.
It is my love that keeps mine eye awake,
Mine own true love that doth my rest defeat,
To play the watchman ever for thy sake.
For thee watch I whilst thou dost wake elsewhére,
From me far off, with others all too near.

 TL: Indonesian
Apakah itu anganmu biar bayangmu tetap membuka
Kelopak mataku yang berat sepanjang malam penatku?
Apakah kehendakmu biar tidur-tidurku harus binasa,
kala bayangmu acap mengusik tilikku?
Apakah itu jiwamu yang kau bawa dari ragamu
Nun jauh dari rumah menuju polahku untuk dicampuri,
Untuk mencari malu dan waktu menganggurku,
(itukah) ruang lingkup dan alamat dirimu yang dengki?
O tidak; cintamu, meski banyak, tiada demikian besar.
Apakah cintaku yang membimbing mataku terjaga,
Kasih sejatiku yang menjadikan istirahatku pudar,
Menjadi pelindung bagimu senantiasa.
Untukmu aku bertahan selagi kau disana terbangun,
Jauh dariku, namun dekat dengan orang lain.

B. Translation Analysis
1. Accuracy, acceptability, and readability
No SL TL Technique Reason Accu- Accep Read-
used racy - ability
(1-3) tability (1-3)
(1-3)
1. Is it thy will Apakah itu Linguistic Adding the word 3 2 1
thy image anganmu biar Amplification “biar” to translate
should keep bayangmu “thy image”
 open tetap membuka
Linguistic Translating 3
Compression words phrase
“should keep
open” with 2
words phrase
“tetap membuka”
2. My heavy Kelopak Modulation Change the focus 3 3 3
eyelids to the mataku yang in relation to the
weary night? berat sepanjang ST when
malam translating “to the
penatku? weary night” to
“sepanjang malam
penatku”
3. Dost thou Apakah Particularizatio Specify the 3 2 3
desire my kehendakmu n meaning of the
slumbers biar tidur- word “broken” to
should be tidurku harus “binasa”
broken, binasa,
4. While kala bayangmu Modulation Using the word 2 3 2
shadows like acap mengusik “bayangmu” to
to thee do tilikku? translate the
mock my phrase “shadows
sight? like to thee”
5. Is it thy spirit Apakah itu Particularizatio Specify the word 2 3 2
that thou jiwamu yang n “thee” to
send’st from kau bawa dari “ragamu”
thee ragamu
6. So far from Nun jauh dari Literal Translating the 2 2 3
home into my rumah menuju translation expression word
deeds to pry, polahku untuk by word to TL
dicampuri,
7. To find out Untuk mencari Established Translating the 3 2 3
shames and malu dan waktu equivalent term “idle hours”
idle hours in menganggurku, to “waktu
me, menganggur” as
an equivalent in
TL
8. The scope and (itukah) ruang Linguistic Adding the word 2 3 3
tenor of thy lingkup dan amplification “itukah” and
jealousy? alamat dirimu “yang”
yang dengki?
9. O no; thy O tidak; Literal Translating the 3 3 2
love, though cintamu, meski translation expression word
much, is not banyak, tiada by word to TL
so great. demikian
besar.
10. It is my love Apakah Particularizatio Specify the word 2 2 2
that keeps cintaku yang n “keeps” to
mine eye membimbing “membimbing”
 awake, mataku terjaga,
Translating the
expression word
Literal by word to TL
translation
11. Mine own true Kasih sejatiku Reduction Omitting a word 3 2 2
love that doth yang with same
my rest menjadikan meaning, “mine
defeat, istirahatku own true love” to
pudar, “kasih sejatiku”.
12. To play the Menjadi Modulation Change the point 3 2 3
watchman pelindung of view in relation
ever for thy bagimu to the ST when
sake. senantiasa. translating “to
play the
watchman”
becomes “menjadi
pelindung”
13. For thee Untukmu aku Modulation Using different 3 3 3
watch I whilst bertahan selagi phrase to translate
thou dost kau disana “watch” to
wake terbangun, “bertahan”
elsewhére,
14. From me far Jauh dariku, Literal Translating the 3 3 3
off, with namun dekat translation expression word
others all too dengan orang by word to TL
near. lain.
Total 37:1 35:14 35:14
4
Average 2.64 2.50 2.50

Average score
Accuracy (3) Acceptability (2) Readability (1) Total Average
2.64 x 3 = 7.92 2.50 x 2 = 5. 00 2.50 x 1 = 2.50 15.42 15.42:6 = 2.57

2. Method Analysis
From the poetry translation, I assume that the translator used the phonemic approach to
translate the poetry. But I’m not really sure of it. The translator seems like trying to reproduce
the SL sound in the TL, while he strict to the SL when rendering the meaning accurately. The
translator also used the same format to present the translation as it is a sonnet. So, he used the
same rhythm with the source poetry. For example:
Is it thy will thy image should keep open A
My heavy eyelids to the weary night? B
Dost thou desire my slumbers should be broken, A
While shadows like to thee do mock my sight? B
 Apakah itu anganmu biar bayangmu tetap membuka A
Kelopak mataku yang berat sepanjang malam penatku? B
Apakah kehendakmu biar tidur-tidurku harus binasa, A
kala bayangmu acap mengusik tilikku? B

The translator also tried to transfer the meaning as accurate as he can. Beside keeping the
accurate sound of SL, the translator tried to manage the meaning or messages are conveyed as
can as possible. For example:

Is it thy spirit that thou send’st from thee E

So far from home into my deeds to pry, F
To find out shames and idle hours in me, E
The scope and tenor of thy jealousy? F

Apakah itu jiwamu yang kau bawa dari ragamu E

Nun jauh dari rumah menuju polahku untuk dicampuri, F
Untuk mencari malu dan waktu menganggurku, E
(itukah) ruang lingkup dan alamat dirimu yang dengki? F

From the stanza, I see that the translator adding the word “itukah” when translating the last
line. It indicates that the translator worked on conveying the message as understandable as
possible. But, at the same time he keeps the structure of the SL as accurate as he can. It’s
indicated by the translation technique used is the literal translation and the translator worked
really hard to maintain the rhyme of the poetry.

CHALLENGE AND DIFFICULTIES

The most difficult stage while translating is how to transfer the exact meaning of SL to
TL and maintain the style of SL at the same time, especially when translating poetry. It is
difficult to transfer the contextual meaning of poetry because poetry oftentimes consist deep
meaning that different people may have different interpretation of it. It is also challenging when
the translator tries to translate the meaning of poetry and maintain the style or the its sound at the
same time. Because beside he/she must consider on the meaning of the poetry, he/she must pay
attention on the sound of the poetry to maintain its style.