4.session Business Comm - Listening - Students2017 PDF

LISTENING SKILLS
Pritima Kaushal
www.enablersindia.com 1
Hearing is the physical ability, while
listening is a skill. Listening skills allow
one to make sense of and understand what
another person is saying
Why Listening is Important
To gain information and ideas
Build rapport with co-workers, bosses, and clients
understand assignments in better way and find and what is
expected from him.
show support
work better in a team-based environment
Resolve problems with customers, co-workers, and bosses;
Answer questions
find underlying meanings in what others say.
Listening is an action in which miracle of understanding takes
place.
Active listening takes place when we are completely silent and
do not allow even the noise of our preconceived notions and
biases about the speaker coming to our mind. Else we are not
listening to what is being said but the projected image of the
person in our mind.
Listening happens when you listen from your ears, mind, eyes
and your heart
“The effectiveness of the spoken words hinges not so much on
how people talk as on how they listen”
PAUL RANKIN’S RESEARCH: 70% OF OUR WAKING TIME
IS SPENT IN COMMUNICATING
9%
16%
45% Listening
Speaking
Reading
Writing
30%
Comparison of Different Communication
Activities
Listening speaking Reading Writing

Learned First second Third Fourth
Used Most Next to Next to Least

45% most 30% least 9%
16%
Taught Least Next to Next to Most
least most
Listening is perhaps one of the most

important skills we have,
yet it is one of the least recognized.
How we show we are not
listening…
o Turn-away
o Shuffle papers on your desk
o Put papers in your brief-case
o Have a glazed look
o Pick up a file and start reading
o Turn and talk to someone else
o Start answering phone call
o Not respond to a question intentionally
o Continue to look at the monitor
Hearing vs. Listening
Hearing
Hearing is the physical ability,
Listening
listening is a skill.
It allow one to understand the words as
well as non verbal signals.
Research reveals that although we spend
so much of our time ‘listening’ we
don’t necessarily remember all we’re
told.
70 % or all our communication efforts are:
misunderstood, misinterpreted, rejected, disliked, distorted, or not heard
(Even in the same language, same culture)!
The fact that people are born
with two eyes and two ears,
but only one tongue suggests
that we ought to look and listen
twice as much as we speak.
Poor Listening Skills lead to
❑ Missed
❑ Opportunities
❑ Signals
❑ Insights into how the opponent is
thinking
❑ People do not listen/ read everything
❑ They constantly keep adding, filtering information
to/ from the messages received
❑ These additions/ deletions are based on their past
experiences, perceptions, biases, stereotypes,
prejudices.
❑ Even when they are in doubt they don’t ask
questions
❑ When people do not understand they add data or
information from their sides to make complete
understanding
❑ Once they think they have understood they take a
stand and argue in favor of their understanding
Why don’t we listen better?
Message Overload
Preoccupation
External Noise
Effort
Tired
Rapid Thought
Rapid Thought
❑There is a considerable difference between the speed at
which a person talks and the speed at which he thinks
❑ The average person speaks at about 125 words per
minute…
❑ An average persons thinking/Listening speed is in the
range of 500 words per minute…
Results in
•Daydream
•Tune out
•Mental ‘walk about’
Kinds of listening
(within other's
frame of
reference)
5. Empathetic Listening Level
1
Level 4. Attentive Listening

2
3. Selective Listening
(within one's
own frame of
Level 2. Pretend Listening reference)
3
1. Ignoring
www.enablersindia.com - Stephen 16
Covey
Level 3.
Listening in spurs.
Mainly paying attention to oneself.
The listener more interested in talking than listening, May
display a blank stare.
Passive listening without responding,
Faking attention while thinking about unrelated matters,
Making judgments
Formatting rebuttals or advice
Level 2.
Listener stays at the surface of the communication and do not
understand the deeper meaning or the speaker's intent.
listener tend to listen logically, being concerned about content
more than feelings, remains emotionally detatched from the
conversation.
At level 2. the speaker may get a false sense of feeling that he
is being listened to and is being understood.
Level 1. Empathetic Listening
Listeners refrain from judging the speaker and put themselves
in the others person's shoes, attempting to see things from their
point of view.
The listener is in the present moment, acknowledging and
responding; not letting oneself distracted; paying attention to the
speaker's total communication including body language.
Listener is sensitive to the speaker's feelings and thoughts and is
suspending his or own thoughts and feelings.
Empathetic listening requires an OK-OK attitude. It also
requires that the listener shows both verbally and nonverbally
that he or she is listening.
The overall focus is to listen from the heart, which opens the
doorway to understanding, caring, and empathy.
Sympathy vs Empathy
Sympathy. Empathy.
Ability to feel The ability to identify oneself mentally with,

pity or tenderness towards a sufferer and so understand a person
Sympathetic listening means we feel Empathetic listening means we feel

“for” the subordinate “as” the subordinate
Empathize
• Put ourselves in speaker’s shoes
• Ignore our own perception of the
situation for the moment
• Accept speaker’s feelings, thoughts, and
ideas of the situation as ours.
• Make eye contact
• Empathizing does not mean we need to
agree with the speaker.
How are the listening skills of
Basanti??
Video clip
How can we improve our
listening skills?
Through Active Listening
PARAPHRASING SUMMARIZING
Instant Repetition
Testing your understanding
Restating what another
Pulling together the main
has said in your own
points of a speaker
words
QUESTIONING
Asking relevant questions
to help in better way and
Reduce errors
Paraphrasing… try it out!
Paraphrasing is simply
Restating what another person has
said in your own words. Start the sentence
with….
The best way to paraphrase is to
listen carefully to what the other ❑“In other words… “
person is saying . ❑“I gather that… “
❑“If I understand correctly,
Benefits of Paraphrasing
➢Helps listener to make sure they ❑ what you are saying…”
understood the message correctly.
➢Allows speaker an opportunity to ❑“What I hear you saying
correct any misunderstanding is…”
immediately.
➢Allows speaker to know that ❑“Pardon my interruption,
listener have heard and is but let me see if I
understand you
interested in what he/she has to say. correctly…”
Summarizing…try it out!
Summarizing pulls
important ideas, facts or
data together to establish
a basis for further Start the
discussion and/or review sentence with….
progress.
“If I understand you
The person summarizing correctly, your main
must listen carefully in concerns are…”
order to organize the
information systematically. “These seem to be the
key ideas you have
It is useful for expressed…”
emphasizing key points.
Questioning…a critical skill
There are two basic types of questions:
1. Closed questions
1. Generally result in short yes/no or other one
word answers.
2. They should be used only when you want
precise, quick answers. Otherwise, they inhibit
thought.
2. Open-ended questions
Questions that begin with “how”,
“what” and “why”.
Open ended VS Closed Questions
Open ended Questions Closed Questions
❑ “I am really interested in ❑ “Will you have tea or
knowing how you did that coffee?”
task Go ahead” ❑ “The targets you have been
❑ “Would you like to tell me given are doable. Don't
why this problem of you think so? “
absenteeism is happening ❑ “So I will receive you mail
again and again?” confirmation by today
❑ “Will you care to tell me evening?”
what happened between
you and Rita that lead to
this escalation?”
❑ “Why do you think that it
would be a challenge to
achieve it” www.enablersindia.com 29
Practice your questioning skills…
Rephrase the following closed questions to make them

open-ended:
1. Are you feeling tired now?

2. Did you find that report useful?
3. Is there anything bothering you?
4. So everything is fine, then?
Power of listening at level 1.
What a person who operates from level 1 has to say
'Improving my listening skills has been a major reason
why I have advanced in my career and become
successful at working with people. My increased
ability to listen at level 1 has had several positive
results and has improved personal relations. My
manner of supervising others is different than it used
to be. My effective listening encourages the
employees to discuss with me the negatives things that
are going on. By doing this, we are able to solve the
problem. Thus reducing the amount of negative
energies."
"In the past, when I had a difficult person to deal with, I

was quick to judge and be critical, which moved me to
level 2 and 3. I found myself forming rebuttals and
thinking that the person was not OK. Now I am aware of
when I start to get into that negative mental process. and I
stop myself. I then concentrate on what's being
communicated beyond words and force myself into the
OK-OK mode by asking myself; What’s going on that I am
getting negative about? Why am I reacting that way? What
can I do to listen non-judgmentally?
"What's interesting is that my improved listening

have influenced other parts of my behaviour.
Before, I used to think I knew what was being said
to me. I would misunderstand assignments given
to me and when I was corrected for doing them
inaccurately, I would blame the other person. I
now perform my job more efficiently, and the
amount of work I complete is increased. Needless
to say I feel better at the end of the day.
"I used to have difficult time dealing with a key

manager. But when I made a point to listen beyond his
gruff manner and often critical facial expression, I
discovered I let these mannerism move me into I’m not
OK passive mode. Forcing myself not to quickly judge
him didn’t come easy. I stayed with it. In the
beginning, I could find only a couple of ways to react
to him positively. Later I was able to discuss my
feelings with him. Now working with him is bearable,
and it's getting better all the time."
Active Listening Strategies.
Strategy Definition Example
Encouraging Convey interest, Encourage “Can You tell me
others to keep talking, Use more”
neutral words
Clarifying Helps get more info. Increases “When did this
understanding of what is happen?”
being said
Restating Show you are listening and “So you are really
understanding what is being enjoying your new
said. Allows you to check assignment.”
meaning and interpretation.
Active Listening Strategies.
Strategy Definition Example
Reflecting Demonstrate your understanding “You seem very angry”
of the other persons feelings
Summarizing Restate central idea or points “You do not believe
which may include feelings the workload is
balanced between team
members and you
would like me to
redesign duties.”
Validating Express the importance of the “I appreciate all your
issue hard work and your
willingness to improve
your punctuality.”
Nonverbal Demonstrates listening “Hmm, ah-ah, Head
Action engagements www.enablersindia.com nods” 36
Tips to Better Listening
❑ Stop Talking ❑ Do not react to emotive
❑ Eliminate Distractions words
❑ Sit so you can see & hear ❑ Prompt the speaker
❑ Concentrate ❑ Ask questions
❑ Focus on the speaker and ❑ Ask for clarification

the conversation ❑ Attend to non-verbal
❑ Maintain an open mind cues of the speaker
❑ Avoid prejudices ❑ Take notes
❑ Don’t give advice until ❑ Give Feedback

asked.
Attitudes that help one to become a
better listener.
"I am responsible for my actions, feelings and
behavior."
"People are fine just the way they are."
"I don't have the power to change others, only
myself."
"Refraining from judging others will assist me in
listening to them."
"I take joy in people and value their uniqueness."
"I allow others to be on an equal level with
myself."
Self Monitoring Questions.
How would you rate your Listening Skills?
What is your greatest strength as a listener?
What makes it difficult for you to listen? What are
the factors that you find most distracting?
Do you practice active listening?
What steps will you take to improve your
listening.
Role Play 1
A is a Customer Service Manager in Electricity
Supply Company.
B is a consumer who has got a very high inflated bill.
His usual bills are for Rs 4000/- for two months. He
got a bill for Rs 19000/- for May and June 2011. He
has made three visits to your office but juniors have
not been able to resolve the issue. He is angry and
frustrated.
Role Play 2
B is Manager (Airport) of Jet Airways at Delhi.
A is a traveler who arrived from USA to attend a
conference in New Delhi. After two days of stay in
New Delhi, he is scheduled to fly to Hong Kong for
business meeting from where she is to move to New
Zealand for a week’s vacation. Her family is coming
from US to New Zealand directly.
Two checked-in bags of A are missing and your best
guess is that they have been put on a flight to Mexico
which is served by Jet Airways only twice a week.
She is angry and frustrated.
`

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LISTENING SKILLS

Listening speaking Reading Writing

Used Most Next to Next to Least

Listening is perhaps one of the most

Level 4. Attentive Listening

Ability to feel The ability to identify oneself mentally with,

Sympathetic listening means we feel Empathetic listening means we feel

Rephrase the following closed questions to make them

1. Are you feeling tired now?

"In the past, when I had a difficult person to deal with, I

"What's interesting is that my improved listening

"I used to have difficult time dealing with a key

❑ Concentrate ❑ Ask questions

❑ Focus on the speaker and ❑ Ask for clarification

❑ Don’t give advice until ❑ Give Feedback

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