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Adrienne Green
November 16, 2017
English 9
Reflection Essay
Grandma
An event that changed my life forever was when my grandma died. I was only eight

years old and that was my first funeral. Grandma was a amazing cook, a fun loving hostess, and

a great problem solver. I didn’t really understand death because I was so young. In 2011, my

parents sat me down and told me, that grandma was very sick. We drove to Los Angeles where

she lived, to visit her in the hospital. I wasn’t allowed to see her, because I was too young, but

when my mom came back she was crying. I asked my mother what was wrong and she said

Grandma’s really sick. My mom and my grandma were very close. Even though she was my

dad’s mom she treated her as her own. She loved her very dearly.

Growing up, I visited her a couple times a year. My grandma was an interesting kind of

character, she was always ready to dance at a family gathering, or reunion. Even though I didn’t

really know her that well, I still loved her. Before she died, the last time I saw her was at a family

reunion the year before. My dad used to tell me stories of how she was so caring, and

understanding. I felt that my chance to have a relationship with her was cut short, because I

never really had a meaningful conversation with her. She never came down to visit me, and I felt

if she were still alive, she would of came down to visit me and my brother. I also feel that I

should tried to make an effort to have a grandmotherly relationship with her. Truth is, she started

getting sick when I was three, so my parents tried to shelter me.

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When my parents told me that she had died, I was confused, because that last time I saw

her she was happy and smiling, like she didn’t have a care in a world. I didn’t want to tell my

niece because she younger than me, and she only met her once. My mom and I had to take off a

couple days to go to my Grandma’s funeral. I’ve never been to a funeral before I didn’t know

what to expect. I was very nervous.

The funeral was very dark and gloomy. Everybody looked sad. To be honest, I didn’t

really cry, but my mom, dad, and grandfather did. I didn’t really cry because I didn’t realize that

she was really gone, I thought “Oh, well grandma’s coming back, I’m going to see her next

time.” It said in the obituary, we’re going to miss my grandma, but I didn’t think it meant

forever. I was only eight years old, so I didn’t know how to deal with death. I thought death was

like a vacation or something similar to that. After she died, my mom immediately got depressed

and she really hasn’t been the same since, same the thing for my dad. I always asked my mom

about seeing Grandma. My mother would always say she’s not coming back. I never realize that

she was actually gone until I was ten years old. I never realized I missed my grandma more than

anything until then. I fell into a state of depression too, when I was just twelve years old. I never

got over my depression, sometimes I would cry because my grandma is gone. I still miss my

grandma to this day. I never felt more regretful and guilty in my life, we barely even talked, but I

wished I got to know her a little bit more.

People ask if I had a genie, what would I wish for? I always say, I would wish to bring

my grandma back. This event really changed my perspective on death. This event has changed

my family, my family hasn’t been the same since her death, and I’ll never forget this event and

how it shaped me, and changed my family forever.