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ThroughDarkestAdolescence 10793675 PDF
ThroughDarkestAdolescence 10793675 PDF
T H RO U ' H DA RK E S
NE W Y ORK T O R O N TO LON
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A C KN O WL ED GMEN T S
I d li ke to
sh ou l e e th nk th d i to
s n d p u b l i sh e s for p erm i s
a r a r
si on to i n c lu de erses w h i c h fi rst pp e e d i n T h A m ri cn
v a ar e e a
L gi on M g i n
e B e tt H om
a az n d G rd ens T h
e, Ch i er es a a , e r s
ti n S c i en ce M on i to C o lli r s F m i ly W kly G o od H ou e
’
a r, e ,
a ee , s
k p i ng L oo k Mc Ca ll Th S tu d y E v n i ng P o t To
’
ee , , s, e a r a e s ,
th e r Th W l l S tr t ' ou n l
e n d W tw y s I
a m l so ee r a a es a a a
g e , ,
.
r te fu l for p e m i i on to u e p t ar t i c
“
g a i on of m
r
y ssl e H ow s or s ,
to T l k to T een A ge s
a w h ich ppeared i n A m e i c
-
an r ,
”
a r
You th .
Con ten ts
Prologue : My qualifications
as an authority
I I : The bathroom
II I : Clothes
School
VI : Parties
VII : Cars
VIII : Conversation
' : Smoking
' I: D rinking
' II : Sex
Epilogue
My qua l ifi c
a tion s as an a uth o rity
“
Yes indeed these people reply because they
, ,
discus s them .
“
him I want to say consolingly You won t believe
.
, ,
’
”
In four or five years you ll be over it However I ’
.
,
where it was too dark for even the person sitting next
to me to notice my spots and bumps At the movies .
,
“
T h e worst things for your complexion she said , ,
”
are nuts and chocolate It w as almost as if she kne w
.
made me like them all the more and what had been ,
”
godliness she used to say though for several years
, ,
enough for me .
“
P orm esu m war my son says to my daughter
, ,
”
Pour me some water is English for what my son
“
said And Go on get it You can get it as well as I
.
, .
”
can silly is a free rendering of my daughter s re
,
’
s on se
p .
“
I put in which is
N on e ed uv b eanru d ab ou d id , ,
“
T ee n ese for N o need of being rude about it .
can easily do .
my shirt .
D arkest Adolescence .
I: Rem em ber they
,
a re s ic
k
p orar
y relief.The most that can be done is to giv e
“
phone Tommy has it bad
, .
“
Has what' the doctor asks momentarily forget
,
“
I don t know but he s never been like this b e
’
,
’
“
Let me see your tongue he tells the poor boy
, ,
“ ”
Take tw o of these at bedtime he says tapping
, ,
was low .
” “
cent and teen ager are therefore interchange able
-
.
3 Periods
. of forgetfulness and mental lapse bor
dering on amnesia especially regarding anythin g
,
pressed this
It come s however , ,
And it goes .
Is called upon ,
I t mostly h appe ns
T o be gone ,
,
’
humming noise .
“ ”
Strange the doctor said not believing his
, ,
“
Breathe deeply Sonny he directed his patient
, , ,
face .
aureomycin or cortisone
, .
“ ”
Get hold of yourself he will say as you brush , ,
away the tears and try to keep your lower lip from
“
trembling too noticeably I ll live through it .
’
.
w e'
“ ” “ ”
applied to them Call them stupid fool or nitwit
“
or nincompoop (which they probably wouldn t ’
“ ”
adolesce nt An adolescent too often called an ado
.
“
te e n age daughter is always saying even if you
-
,
don t
’
.
the teen age girl in our house a l arge p art of the time
-
might be said
Our son does little now but grow , , ,
“
He s shooting up we say and so
’
, ,
“ ” “
ing slogans as Stam p Out Adolescence and We
Gave .
.
,
track .
“
Are y ou in there ' I cry Or this being pretty
.
,
“
obvious When are you coming out'
,
pressive .
3 0
T h e B a th roo m 3 1
”
Occasionally when I ask Are you in there ' I get ,
“
some such informative reply as No The answer .
”
to When are you coming out' is usually Just a
“
“
urgency in such a heartrending appeal as I ve got ’
. .
“ “
I doubt it I said T he water would still be
, .
he passed ou t .
“
Then maybe he drowned in the tub my w ife ,
said .
“
Or electrocuted himself I put in helpfully try , ,
room'
I can only guess because I have never stooped
, ,
adole s c
ent from the baseme nt the garage or even
, ,
th e glass for an in c
, redible period Though I have
.
Peering above ,
Probing beneath ,
A bathroom fixture .
capital letters .
“
Have I done something wrong' I ask ed in all
innocence .
“
You used my towel she said and I thought sh e
, ,
w as going to cry .
washed them .
, ,
— —
corner the corner I had ot used and dropped it
n
T h e B a th room 37
into the ham pe r A shudder went through her as if
.
,
“ ”
’
I m sorry I said though I re ally wasn t
, ,
’
.
, ,
leper .
by pore .
nose all over the face The reason I can imagine this
.
rapture .
4 0 en c
Th rough D ark es t A d o l esc e
doing all this time show him how glad you are to
,
, ,
“
I thought you didn t want them any more he ’
“ ”
Anyhow he added brightly I saved you th e
, ,
walking shorts .
“ ”
Thanks I said mentally subtracting twelve fi fty
, ,
-
“ ”
You re welcome he said more p olite than usual
’
, , ,
“
I appreciate your good intentions I said sur , ,
“
prised at my self control But I really would prefer
-
.
“
around Where are the lower parts from the knee
, ,
”
down'
Before he told me I found out for myself One , .
der or suicide .
“ ”
Aren t you cold ' I ask him It gives me goose
’
“
N he says hunching his should ers to make his
,
”
shirt anyhow' she b e gs him It just doesn t look .
’
“
with a scarlet A embroidered on it N o wonder .
the other girls stared at her and w h 1sp ered things like
“ ” “
She s in a rut and D oesn t she know blouses
’ ’
”
like that went out a couple of years ago' and Looks
homemade to me The only time a teen age girl will
.
-
sweater .
“
football swe a ter has a C on it for Claremont High , ,
“ ”
instead of an A he is a 1 8 0 pound lineman and on
,
-
,
“
been heard (by me ) to say I d rather die She ,
’
would too , .
4 6 en c
Th rough D ark es t A d o l es c e
—
run again i n her improved tennis shoes .
.
4 8 Th rough Dark es t A d o lesc
en c
e
to dress like all the others and yet more so will avoid
such a tragic mistake as my wife once made This .
“
way to high heaven
, .
“
I ve just g ot to have a wool skirt our daughter
’
“
But y ou h ave a woo l skirt haven t you ' I asked
,
’
.
“
Yes but I haven t a skirt to go w ith my green
’
son
When all my friends have this
That s wanted by my son
’
“
Name one .
“
father If this elicits such questions as Then why
.
“
statement like What you need is to learn the value
o f a dollar ( Y ou will be
. lucky if you are n ot asked
“
See y ou were wrong you can say pointing to the
, , ,
“
you Your teen ager will probably then say Well
.
-
, ,
”
Gunderson do you ' If you hold your ground you
, ,
y o u
. But you probably won t ’
”
buying any article (not even something as common
place as a pair of rhinoceros hide shoes with minia -
‘ “
ture tusks on the toe ) on the grounds that every
body has on e without p ermission from the Ex ec
,
’
u
lowing :
My teen age son is in a dash
-
,
,
’
whi c h your teen ager' has tired You will not only
-
.
4
A rou n d th e H ous e
Through years of waiting long and tough , ,
,
’
“
H ow d oes it look now ' I ask hopefu l of coming
'
”
Pretty good D ad he says but you re going to
, , ,
’
work .
“ ”
That s good enough D ad he says starting the
’
, , ,
“
motor I ve got to go see John John is his best
.
’
eral hours .
economy .
“
R u n up to the store and get two pounds of
” “
bacon my wife told our son the other d ay And
, .
that she forgot to ask him for the change When she .
“ ”
Oh th a t ten dollars he shrugged
, , .
“ “
I remember now he said I got the change all , .
,
”
right and I know exactly where I put it
, .
“ ”
Well go get it my w ife said
, , .
I t wasn t ’
.
do on Wagon Tra in .
“
Looks like a mighty fine cr0 p Paw he would ,
“
say if n we kin git it in fore it rains
,
’ ’
window .
R epeatedly .
62 en c
Th rough D ark es t A d ol esc e
“
own son and d aughter bearing signs reading U n ,
” “
fair to Their Own Flesh and Blood My Father Is ,
”
a Mise r and D on t Enter Unless You Are D e
,
’
—
can t ge t into your own house and not j ust because
’
“
nothing with the news that Mr Willoughby is a
, .
tant advant age over the others : they are never d isap
p ointed.
66 Th rough D ark es t A d o l esc
en c
e
”
How do you do I said smiling a ttractively
, , .
ri d or lights .
Huh'
Whaddaya wanta do '
I dunno Whaddaya wanta do'
.
I dunno .
“
Hey .
Huh'
Wh ad d ay asay we go to Rusty s ' ’
U nh u nb .
U nh u nh .
“ ”
Whaddaya wanta do'
I dunno Whaddaya wanta d o'
.
Wh ad d ayasay we go to Al s '” ’
”
What for'
Sc
h ool 69
”
Think so'
Yeah.
Wh y d ay a think so'
She kinda likes Al .
Think so'
Yeah .
“
L e sgo to Al s
’
TY
S
Another thing they salvage from those high school
ye ars is memorabilia some of which is rather mem ,
the knees class r ings that are the wrong size and
,
“
penned under pictures such as N ice knowing you ,
“
Have fun and Hi ' ,
“
can be heard over all the others in the Star Spangled -
”
Banner and the Flag Salute not becaus e he is the ,
phone .
married Clark Gable who was mad about her but she
, ,
Sc
h oo l 7 1
skeptical .
“
Beefy after five succ
, essful seasons including w in ,
leaves his wife and thre e children and runs off with
the new gym teacher the on e with the tiny waist
,
“
D id you have a good lunch ' my wife asked our
son on e evening when he left his salad and pot roast
,
“
Yeah great he said p ushing aside the distaste
, , ,
“ ”
What did you have '
Three hot dogs an ice cream cone a couple of
, ,
”
candy bars and a Coke R eally filled me up he said
, .
, .
For exams.
“
comment : Unoriginal superficial Expression im
, .
mature .
sources .
“
feather brain e d pedagogue and tell him a few
-
”
things or go ove r his he ad to the Principal
,
'
“
long complic ated sentences like Com m e n t a llez
,
“
v ous' and Unhappily she took
’
O uvrez la fe n e tre .
c
.
Jeanne Fran oise N oilly and that she was born and
-
,
“’
I ll speak to Miss Wetherby he reassured me , .
p c
e te d .
, ,
get the latest news of the world—the world that is , ,
. .
worth all the e ff ort some parents are able to say with
,
ple could have such bright off spring you will never
understand) make speeches and so d o the Principal ,
, I mean shoul
dering our burdens At this point he is handed
.
it off ' 3
rug .
“
blurt it out : Let s h ave the party at y our house ’
“
p ause Someone s next line should then be Your
.
’
”
house is so much nicer for entertaining This m ay .
u e nc
e you should try to force ou t the words and
q ,
”
And young people li ke to be crowded '
Skillful as my wife and I are we have sometimes
,
been boxed into having a party at our house Either .
obviously loaded .
, .
hair up in curlers .
“
Going c amping' I asked cheerily when I let
them in the front door .
86 Th rough D ark es t A d o l esc
en c
e
.
,
was the first time I had ever seen wall to wall sleep - -
“
Be quiet dear They re sleeping late
, .
’
.
“ ” “
to like
, The Sheik of Araby On the Sunny Side ,
“ ”
R emember that one ' my wife is li k ely to ask me ,
—
back all sorts of memories the banks closed ,
.
’
.
.
88 Th rough D ark es t A d o l esc
en c
e
band'
“
Well they have a name haven t they ' They re
, ,
’ ’
”
the D ads Band I said
’
, .
Communist fish .
forpurposes of resuscitation .
c
e ti on
p .
looks better .
not chaperones .
To sum up :
Chaperoning a p arty '
I m sorry it s true
’ ’
I s what y ou must do :
Provide transportation ,
movie .
“
What time will the second feature be over' I
asked the girl in the ticket booth .
9 8 Th rough D ark es t A d o l esc
en c
e
freeze to death .
invisible .
“
And though he s a id Yeah sure when we told , , ,
in opposite directions .
First my bi c
, ycle was stolen .
a in in
g g all sorts of things about his fondling her
feet ) .
remember .
, ,
So w e b ought a second c ar .
“
I know my son said I know j ust the car
, . .
kept the car only three months and got about half ,
part .
“
I still think it s a good car m y son said We
’
.
right thing
Our teen age son has recently won
-
As we dre am of catastroph e .
house .
of it .
But if the gas and oil and tires and repairs and i n
surance and licenses and depreciation total severa l
thousand dollars a ye ar there is a bright side to it
,
“
D on t forget They give Green Stamps
’
. .
C ars 10
7
There are those who feel sorry for me when they ,
of an empty garage .
”
Know what'
D o they know she has the re p utation around
”
school of being tough '
“
I don t dig you my daughter said in a tone that
’
, .
ality and has lots of clothes and goes with the neatest
boy in the class and drives a Porsche So if she isn t .
’
“ ”
Tough must be derived from tough competi
”
tion though I am only guessing
, .
“
I see I said visibly relieved to learn that I h ad
, ,
“
n o t misj udged Linda after all She s the cat s ’ ’
.
,
whiskers .
“
The cat s whiskers is about the same as the cat s
’ ’
”
meow I explained and when I was young we ap
, ,
“
You and your crazy words my daughter said , .
arranged—avoided .
car.
“ ”
Oh y ou have ' he said
, .
“
Yes I served in the antiaircraft artillery in two
,
”
Hunh he said obviously wishing t o hear more
, , .
“
We shouldn t j ust sit there and munch a nd
’
”
gulp she said We should talk about things
, . .
“
Like what' I asked .
”
something It would stimulate their thinking Then
. .
,
as a prac “
tical afterthought And they might not ,
eat so fast .
( twenty-
fi v e ye ars to be exact
, ) and
, I h ad forgotten
and B w an am kub w a .
, .
w ay
’
—
She isn t on the phone n o sir ,
.
C onversa ti on 1 1
9
When you are trying to telephone home during
the hours your teen ager is there and you get the
-
,
y ou .
rier pigeon .
thinking about it .
,
1 20 Th rough D ark es t A d o l es c
en c
e
,
’
Graham Bell .
I' : Hair and teeth
“ ”
Shall I put a little on the top '
”
Yes I would say peering at myself in the mir
, ,
scalp is showing :
Teen age boys have zany haircuts
-
,
“
N 0 thanks I protested I had visions of tonsori al
, .
“ ”
Come on she said in a tone h alf coaxing and
,
little off around the edges and that isn t worth any ,
’
”
not having to wait your turn in the barber shop .
” “
But I don t mind waiting I said I re l ax an d
’
, .
,
”
I visit with pe 0 p1e And where else was I going to
.
“ ”
read P lay boy an d A d am ' Try it on H appy fi rst I ,
I have .
“ “
D on t be a coward she said I ll be very care
’
, .
’
ful.
“
Next time I told my w ife be more subtle
, , .
“
Look out ' my son screamed while the clippers ,
1 28 Th rough D ark es t A d o l esc
en c
e
too short .
started yet .
forcible rape .
tion .
“
It s only a little h a ir I consoled him I t ll grow
’
, .
’
fi ed as an escaped convict .
“ ”
poor child or some coward w h o was fearful of
,
being bitten .
wouldn t amount to mu c
’
h But that was before I
.
him a penny .
“
' o on and smoke I say to my children after
, ,
“
survivors At least you ll escape lung cancer if you
.
’
”
burn yourself up first I can be mighty sarcastic
. .
1 3 6 en c
Th rough D ark es t A d o l esc e
“
The Yankees w on another game my son an ,
“
Pass the toast my daughter says failing as usual
, ,
, .
Actually ,
, ,
tine and tars than the brand he had been buying for
himself .
ter around m e expectantly as if in a night c
, lub My
.
“ “
Not right now I say I m not in the mood for
, .
’
pens able .
Teen agers today skip right over the corn silk and
- - -
,
’
“
Smoke good like a teen ager should I said one
,
-
,
big fat cigar when he showed the first s igns of i n
tere st in the evil weed and encourage him or e ve n
, , x
“
Have a stogie ' I said c”
asually to my son one d ay
,
“ ”
Sure he said Got a match ' He bit off the
, .
“ ”
' o t another ' he asked .
day .
“
I ll do any th ing if only you ll quit ' he will cry
’
,
’
detective .
' I: D rin king
“ ”
Well son my father said lifting his glass here s
, , , ,
’
”
how .
“
Here s how I repeated trying to sound like a
’
, ,
”
N 0 th anks I sa id though it was a hot day and
, ,
“ ”
One s plenty
’
.
family .
long drink .
“ ”
Ahh h he sighed with satisfaction wiping the
-
, ,
“
R eally hits the spot .
to dispos e of .
”
tank of the bathroom toilet '
“ “
No my wife said I m n ot going to reach down
, ,
’
”
in that cold wa t er every time I want the key .
“
Inside the fireplace then between a couple of , ,
youth .
That was the first place we hid the key but after a ,
,
’
e v i ta b ly
, the no example bit sinc
-
e the idea is not ,
martini .
,
1 52 en c
Th rough D ark es t A d o l esc e
“
All you care about my wife said picking up
, ,
“
That s not so I protested Knowing how to
’
, .
“
My mother an d father never taught m e and l ,
” “
homes she said I ll not have them thinking my
, .
’
vantage of her .
“ ” “
Oh no ' my wife exclaimed She would never
, .
”
do anything like that But her imagin ation i s lively .
,
ter s capa c
’
ity for sherry she knows mine Con se
, .
to me one day .
“
Te ll him what ' I asked .
”
You know sh e sa id , .
, ,
“
— ”
About s e x my wife said She s a very good
-
, .
’
spell er
.
“
All right I said I will
, . .
, ,
“ “
Son I began I want to talk to you about some
, ,
thing .
”
now '
“
It s not about anything you ve done I said and
’ ’
“
I hop ed this was true It s about sex .
’
.
“
Oh that he said obviously relieved What
, , , .
about it '
Somehow I couldn t recall the rather clever O pen ’
“
Have you any questions ' I asked This was what .
“ ”
Like what ' he asked .
”
Just anything I said I thought of asking a prob
, .
“
ing question myself such as Are you for or against ,
” “ “
it' but I didn t Well I asked again any qu es
’
.
, ,
tions'
S ex 1 59
N 0 he said
, .
“ “ ”
Anything else ' my son asked I ve got a date .
’
tonight .
“
With whom' I asked .
Leonora he said , .
, , ,
“ ”
Leonora the boy said and rolled h is eyes and
, ,
“
rubbed his palms You sure can pick em Pops .
’
,
.
“
I return e d to th e matter a t h and I guess that s all .
’
thing'
So I resolved forthwith
, , worry no more about
my —
so n neither where he went nor whom he went
with It took a great load off my mind :
.
I nonchalantly go to bed
And l i e there taut and te nse .
1 62 Th rough D ark es t A d o l esc
en c
e
” “
ing with necking and making out and progress
“ ” “ ”
ing to petting and going all the way Once a girl .
A girl in a car
Wi th a boy knows this much
His foot s on the brake
’
may say .
1 In i
v ew o f all th e g o i
ngs on -
in th e ' ard e n o f E d en , A d am
’
s
a
pp l i n g
”
m g i ht be a be tt er w ord th an
“
ne c
k i ng .
1 64 Th rough D ark es t A d ol esc
en c
e
“
And D ebbie R eynolds w as in the other one the ,
is the te c
hnique of distracting boys at the right time
,
other country .
the end :
When boys and girls start going steady ,
”
How do y ou do it ' I asked him admiringly .
”
Simple he s a id By overexposure
, . .
”
Wh a t do you mean' I asked hoping his method ,
”
seems like ye ars .
S ex 1 67
.
, ,
works .
“
How does it work' I asked .
T h e Cure.
1
7 0 en c
Th rough D ark es t A d o l esc e
si b ly be his looks .
make conversation .
“
I m not going to college he said I t don t help
’
, .
’
“ ”
Nothing I guess I said and I meant it
, , , .
qu alities .
, .
” “
So is hon ey I said but that s no reason for my
, ,
’
, .
“
D oing wh at ' I asked Sweeping streets maybe .
, ,
“
said Where is he working and how soon does he
.
start '
He s working for us starting Monday she s a id
’
, , .
“
I ve told him he could stay in the beach house all
’
seems to know .
“ “
like him D ear Pop he writes me We all miss
.
, ,
again .
,
’
have driven off ( in our car) and the last guest has
gone she will break down and let the tears come
,
.
will I .
Several years h ave passed sinc e I began this treatise
on te e n agers The world is about the s ame as ever
-
.
,
continues to b e helpl e ss .
from his mi c “
roscop e We are h e lpless
, .
”
was u nnecessary .
young have both left home Our son went into the
, .
type.
1
7 6 Th ro ugh D ark es t A d o l es c
en c
e
” “
'
Hello Bob or Guess who this is that my friends
, ,
“
as the evening wore on Wouldn t you like to ,
’
farm h e has dre ame d about and s aved for but he isn t ,
’
“
looking through a photograph album with h is first ,
trafli c citation .
“
And here is Karin I s a id with what s his , ,
’
-
through her .
1 80 en c
Th rough D ark es t A d o l esc e
“
And here are Jeff and Karin together I said I , .
”
This time they both look terrible .
“
My what memories these pictures bring back
, ,
over'
Her question touched me deeply I patted her .
“ ”
N O I said
, .
A bou t th e A u th or
h i s w i fe to b e i n gram m r c
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a
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l u de u c . h p l y fu l ti e s a sa r s as
I t A ll S t rt d w i th Co lum bu
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A m ou
r n d T h e M d i cl M us
r, a More book e on th ee a e . s ar
w ay .
S USA N PE RL cm e to th e U ni ted St te from ' i enn i n 9 3 9
a a s a 1 .
S h e h d b een w o k i n g si n c
a e th e r
g e o f t w e l ve f ee l n c
a i ng , r -
a
for th e M e t op ol i t an O p er Gui l d s Op ra N e ws
’
r a e .