Assertiveness training

Definition

It is a form of behavior therapy designed to help people stand up for themselves—to

empower themselves, in more contemporary terms. Assertiveness is a response that seeks to
maintain an appropriate balance between passivity and aggression. Assertive responses
promote fairness and equality in human interactions, based on a positive sense of respect for
self and others

Explanation

Assertiveness training is based on the principle that we all have a right to express our
thoughts, feelings, and needs to others in a respectful way. When we don't feel like we can
express ourselves openly, we may become depressed, anxious, or angry, and our sense of
self-worth may suffer. Being assertive means finding the right balance between passivity and
aggression .It means having a strong sense of yourself and your value, and acknowledging
that you deserve to get what you want.

Purpose

The purpose of assertiveness training is to teach persons appropriate strategies for identifying
and acting on their desires, needs, and opinions while remaining respectful of others.

Developer

Assertiveness Training was introduced by Andrew Salter (1961) and popularized by Joseph

Wolpe

Benefits of assertiveness training.

 You can feel free to express your feelings, thoughts, and desires.
 You are able to initiate and maintain comfortable relationships
 you know your rights and responsibility in your communication.
 You have control over your inappropriate anger.
 You can able to say no.
Types of Assertiveness
 Passive:
A person violates one’s own rights by failing to express honest feelings, thoughts, and beliefs
and consequently permitting others to violate oneself or the expressing of one’s own feelings
in such an apologetic manner that others can easily disregard them. The goal of passive
communication is to appease others and to avoid conflict at any cost. 
 Aggressive:
A person stands up for personal rights and expresses thoughts, feelings and beliefs in a way
that is often dishonest, usually inappropriate, and always violates the rights of others. The
goal of aggressive communication is domination, and winning, forcing the other person to
lose.
 Assertive:
A person stands up for personal rights and expresses thoughts, feelings and beliefs in direct,
honest and appropriate ways that do not violate another person’s rights. The goal of assertive
communication is to get and give respect, to ask for fair play, and to leave room for
compromise

Techniques of Assertiveness

 Broken Record:
The "broken record" technique consists of simply repeating your requests or your refusals
every time you are met with resistance. 
 Fogging: 
Fogging is a useful technique if people are behaving in a manipulative or aggressive way.
Rather than arguing back, fogging aims to give a minimal, calm response using terms that
are placating but not defensive, while at the same time not agreeing to meet demands.
 The Stuck Record Technique: 
The Stuck Record technique involves repeating what you want, time and time again, without
raising the tone of your voice, becoming angry or irritated.
 Positive Enquiry: 
Positive enquiry is a simple technique for handling positive comments such as praise and
compliments. Positive inquiry asks the compliment-payer for more detail about what they
liked and agree with it.
 Negative Enquiry:
 Negative enquiry is the simple techniques for responding to criticism .negative inquiry
replies to the critic by asking for more details about what they did not like.
 Negative Assertion:
 Negative assertion can help you to accept your mistakes and faults without having to
agree with hostile criticism.
 I-Statements:
I-Statements can help you focus on and be clear about your own thoughts and
feelings.. The real focus in I-statements is on the "I feel," "I want", “I think” part of
the statement.
Tips to become more assertive

Here are some tips to help you learn to be more assertive.

Make the decision to positively assert yourself. Commit to being assertive rather than
passive or aggressive and start practising today.
Aim for open and honest communication. Remember to respect other people when you are
sharing your feelings, wants, needs, beliefs or opinions.
Agree to disagree. Remember that having a different point of view doesn’t mean you are
right and the other person is wrong.
Avoid guilt trips. Be honest and tell others how you feel or what you want without making
them feel guilty.
Stay calm. Breathe normally, look the person in the eye, keep your face relaxed and speak in
a normal voice.
Practise assertiveness. Talk in an assertive way in front of a mirror or with a friend.
Use ‘I’. Stick with statements that include ‘I’ in them such as ‘I think’ or ‘I feel’.