Assertiveness Skills

Assertiveness Skills

Assertiveness Skills

Assertive behavior is the

direct expression of our feelings, preferences, needs, or opinions in a manner that does not threaten, punish or put down the other person.
It involves standing up for our legitimate rights without violating the rights of others

ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS
Objectives. Why Assertiveness is Important. Development of Assertive and NonAssertive Behavior

OBJECTIVES
Assess how frequently you assert ten different behaviors in different kinds of relationships. Explore counterproductive beliefs about assumed consequences and strategies to diminish them.

OBJECTIVES Cont.
Learn to discriminate passive, aggressive and assertive responses. Understand approaches to make and refuse requests, express opinions and justified anger.

Commit to practicing new behaviors.

 Assertive behavior is the direct expression of our feelings, preferences, needs, or opinions in a manner that does not threaten, punish or put down the other person. It involves standing up for our legitimate rights without violating the rights of others

 Assertiveness isn't a simple solution for all of our difficulties, but is simply a means of direct and honest communication. The emphasis is on our ability to express our opinions and feeling appropriately. Often, we have not learned to be assertive

 Assertion is not something we are born with; it is a skill or behavior that is learned: Typically, we may not be assertive in all situations. Rather, we learn different types of behavior in different situations, sometimes early on in our lives. We may have difficulty expressing disagreement with our parents, but not with our friends or spouse

Think of assertive behavior under three broad categories

Expressing Positive Opinions/Feelings
Giving & receiving compliments Making requests Expressing liking,loving, affection. Initiating & maintaining conversations.

Self-Affirmation : -Expressing legitimate rights

Refusing requests Expression personal opinions

Expressing Negative pinions/Feelings Expressing justified annoyance displeasure or anger

 We all need to learn to express ourselves more effectively with a wide variety of assertive behaviors and with a variety of people.

Development of Assertive and Non-Assertive Behavior

People who have developed assertiveness skills often report increased feelings of self-confidence, improved interpersonal communication, positive reactions from others, and diminished feelings of resentment, being taken for granted, headaches and stomach problems.

Counter Productive Beliefs If I voice my opinion and am wrong, how will I look? It's such a-worthy cause. It's not right to refuse. It's easier to say yes than to face how s/he will feel about me is I say no. I don't want to appear demanding or unreasonable. People shouldn't act that way. I don't have the right to impose on or bother others. S/he should know how I feel by now. Why do I have to say so? If I ask for help or a favor,;l am imposing on someone. People really shouldn't compliment me because I don't deserve it.

Recognizing Non-Assertive Behavior:

Passive Behavior
Verbally agreeing to activities we are not really interested in or failing to ask for a favor even though one is needed is not expressing our interests or needs. Our non-verbal behavior may include avoiding eye contact, hesitant speech patterns, low voice level, tense body posture and nervous body movements.

Aggressive Behavior
Expression of feeling and opinions in a way that is punishing, verbally-assaultive, demanding, sarcastic

or hostile

Recognizing Assertive Behavior

Assertive behavior is expressing our feelings, opinions and needs honestly and directly rather than hoping the other person can read our minds. We should communicate in a way that is respectful of the other person