Name of Lab Experiment: Assertiveness Training Date: 09/04/2020

Experiment No : 7

ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING

Introduction

Assertiveness is the quality of being self assured and confident without being aggressive.
Standing up for your own rights in such a way that you do not violate another person’s rights.
Expressing your needs, wants, opinions, feelings and beliefs in direct, honest and appropriate ways.  The
aim of assertive behaviour is to satisfy the needs and wants of both parties involved in the situation

An assertive person is one who acts in his/her own best interests, stands up for self, expresses
feelings honestly, is in charge of self in interpersonal relations, and chooses for self. The basic message
sent from an assertive person is “I’m OK and you’re OK.” An assertive person is emotionally honest,
direct, self-enhancing, and expressive. He/she feels confident, self-respecting at the time of his/her
actions as well as later.

Assertive Body Language:

(a) Stand straight, steady, and directly face the people to whom you are speaking while
maintaining eye contact.
(b) Speak in a clear, steady voice –loud enough for the people to whom you are speaking to
hear you.
(c) Speak fluently, without hesitation, and with assurance and confidence.

Training

Joseph Wolpe originally explored the use of assertiveness as a means of "reciprocal inhibition"

of anxiety, in his 1958 book on treating neurosis; and it has since been commonly employed as an
intervention in behavior therapy. Assertiveness Training ("AT") was introduced by Andrew Salter (1961)
and popularized by Joseph Wolpe. 

Wolpe's belief was that a person could not be both assertive and anxious at the same time, and
thus being assertive would inhibit anxiety. The goals of assertiveness training include:

(a) Increased awareness of personal rights

(b) Differentiation between non-assertiveness and assertiveness

(c) Differentiation between passive–aggressiveness and aggressiveness

(d) Learning both verbal and non-verbal assertiveness skills.

 Passive communicators do not defend their own personal boundaries and thus allow aggressive
people to abuse or manipulate them through fear. Passive communicators are also typically not likely to
risk trying to influence anyone else.

Aggressive people do not respect the personal boundaries of others and thus are liable to harm
others while trying to influence them.

A person communicates assertively by overcoming fear of speaking his or her mind or trying to
influence others, but doing so in a way that respects the personal boundaries of others. Assertive people
are also willing to defend themselves against aggressive people.

Types of Assertion

Basic Assertion Basic Assertion is about making straight forward statements that show you stand by
your rights. It involves making clear your needs, wants, beliefs, opinions or feelings. Examples of basic
assertion are:

∙  I would like to make some changes to...

∙  I need to be away by 5 o’clock

Basic assertion is about being honest and polite, without being either forceful or apologetic
about your needs. It is the most common form of assertion and would also be used to give praise or
compliments to others.

Empathetic Assertion This method of assertiveness is about understanding the position of the person
you are dealing with. Examples are:

∙  I hear what you are saying; let me explain my position to you

∙  I see you have a sound knowledge of the subject, my thoughts regarding this are

Empathetic assertion is about listening, understanding and gaining the other person’s interest in your
point of view or perspective at the same time. Empathetic assertion is a powerful tool that can
sometimes be misused, and when this happens it can be a sign of aggressive behaviour. This would be
evident where the other person’s needs are clearly not being listened to, rather that the impression of
empathy is given in order to manipulate a situation or person.

Discrepancy Assertion This method of assertiveness is about pointing out the discrepancies in a conflict
situation. It can be used to calm aggressive behaviour by showing exaggerations, or it can be used to
point out inconsistencies. Discrepancy assertion can be used to identify misunderstandings and to clarify
the true position or situation. It can also be used to demonstrate a change in circumstances that may
not have been made clear to all concerned.

Examples of discrepancy assertion would be :

∙  I need to clarify what it is that we have agreed

 ∙  On this occasion I am sorry that I have not dealt with this in the best way, although it is not
right to say that it is never the case.

Another time to use discrepancy assertion is where there is a contradiction in a person’s

conversation. For example, a colleague may wish to discuss how to improve team working between
their department and yours. After bringing this to your attention they may then begin to launch an
attack on the problems that your department causes theirs. Discrepancy assertion can come into play by
bringing this to the person’s attention, and moving on with a suggestion of how you can agree a way
forward to address the issue.

Techniques of Assertiveness Training

Broken Record The "broken record" technique consists of simply repeating your requests or your
refusals every time you are met with resistance. The term comes from vinyl records, the surface of
which when scratched would lead the needle of a record player to loop over the same few seconds of
the recording indefinitely. "As with a broken record, the key to this approach is repetition ... where your
partner will not take no for an answer."

A disadvantage with this technique is that when resistance continues, your requests may lose
power every time you have to repeat them. If the requests are repeated too often, it can backfire on the
authority of your words. In these cases, it is necessary to have some sanctions on hand.

Fogging Fogging consists of finding some limited truth to agree with in what an antagonist is saying.
More specifically, one can agree in part or agree in principle.

“Fogging” is an assertive response to criticism and sarcasm. You can use it when someone makes
a comment about you that is indirectly aggressive and intended to antagonise you, for example, when
you arrive late to work and someone sarcastically says, “Train late again?”. Simply take the words, find
the truth in them and respond with an assertive tone, as in, “Yes, I’m going to have to re-think my
journey from now on.” Imagine taking the sarcasm or criticism and deadening it in a fog between you
and the speaker.

Negative Inquiry Negative inquiry consists of requesting further, more specific criticism. Negative
inquiry and negative assertion are simple techniques for responding to criticism and judgment. Negative
inquiry replies to the critic by asking for more details about what they didn’t like.

Them: “Well, I’ve seen better presentations nowadays”

You: “Exactly what didn’t you like about it?”

Negative Assertion Negative assertion is agreement with criticism without letting up demand. Negative
assertion takes all or part of the criticism and agrees with it.

Them: “The slide show was dreadful.”

You: “Yes. That was the most difficult part of the presentation.”
Assertively accepting those things that are negative about yourself. Coping with your errors. This way of
dealing with criticism and judgment has an equivalent positive version when handling compliments and
praise assertively.

Acknowledging-Declining-Other Alternatives (ADO) Technique

This is again not an absolute "no". In this technique you open up the request to see if there is an
alternative.

● "My schedule is full for today, maybe there’s someone else in the team that could help?

This is not an absolute "no" - it’s a way of saying no to the request currently but means you can
say yes in the future. You should only use this if you want to genuinely meet the request.

● "I don’t have time today but I could make sometime next week."

This is where you provide a brief but honest reason for your answer.

● "I can’t attend the meeting because I have lots of deadlines this week so I have no time."

Assertiveness Case Studies

Kiran's Story (case No 1) Kiran works for an insurance company, on a weekly basis she finds that
certain colleagues ask her to do some of their duties. Kiran finds it tremendously difficult to say 'no', she
thinks that it will cause an argument and that she will come across as rude. She also feels that people
are taking advantage of her, her workload is increasing and this causes her stress levels to rise, she starts
dreading going to work and her self-esteem and confidence are now being impacted on.

Case Analysis

Kiran is a submissive person who is unable to say 'no' to her colleagues who ask her to do their
duties. To overcome this situation Kiran needs to be more assertive in her response to the request of
her colleagues who ask her to do their duties. This she can achieve by using "Broken Record' technique
in which she has to learn to say no repeatedly to her colleagues who try to give their share of work to
her also so she can use "A-D-O" technique to decline the request of her colleagues or she can also
suggest an alternative solution to them. She can use assertive statements like 'I have already some
commitments at home so you please look for some someone else to do your work.'

Milind’s Story(case No 2) Milind had a few confrontations in the workplace with a particular member
of staff, this had gone on for a number of years. His organisation had felt it was necessary to address his
inability to take sarcasm and criticism with training. Suggest some training techniques and help him deal
with criticism in an assertive way.

Case Analysis

In this case Milind had few confrontations with a particular number of staff which shows that
the problem maybe there either with Milind or with that particular member of staff. Also it is Apparent
that Milind is aggressive by nature. To overcome this situation the technique of "Negative Enquiry” or
"Negative Assertions" maybe used. Milind should use the technique of negative enquiry to find out the
exact reason of confrontation and if he feels the reason is genuine then he may use the technique of
"Negative Assertions" to come out of this situation.

Sunil’s Story(case No 3) Sunil deals face-to-face with the general public in the customer services
industry. The vast majority of people he deals with are polite and he is able to deal with any issues they
have. However on occasions some customers are angry and very confrontational, this has sometimes
lead to threats and the possibility of physical violence if security had not intervened. He feels a lack of
control over the situation, and has learned over the years that anyone has the potential to get angry
very quickly. He wants to be able to calm the situation down by being able to notice the signs of conflict
at the earliest opportunity.

Case Analysis

In this case Sunil has confrontation with some of his customers which has sometimes lead to
threats and possibility of physical violence, also at times he felt lack of control over the situation due to
his tendency to get angry very quickly. This shows that Sunil is aggressive is nature and is unable to take
any sarcasm or negative remark given by any of his customer. To avoid this kind of situations where he is
unable to take negative remarks for criticism from this customer should adapt "Fogging" technique in
which he should partly agree with the negative criticism if he finds merit in it and should assertively
reply to his customer in non-confrontational manners for example 'I think what you are saying maybe
correct or hold some merit'.

Vacation Denied (case No 4) Your employer had told you that your recent vacation request was
approved. Two days before your vacation is to begin, you hear that your vacation request is now going
to be denied because of a new, large contract taken on by your company that affects the department
you manage. You’ve already made extension plans to travel and will lose money if you have to cancel.
Your supervisor calls you into his office and is about to tell you that he is going to deny your time off.
What do you do?

Case Analysis

In this case since the vacation request was already approved and the travel plans were already
booked. Now by cancelling the travel plan I will incur financial loss. In this case if I am submissive then I
will be at financial loss and if I try to be aggressive with the boss it will affect my career adversely.
Therefore in this case the technique of "A-D-O" will be used in which I will try to provide an alternative
solution to the boss by saying that I will compensate for the time lost due to my vacation by working
overtime after coming back from my vacation also so I can suggest some alternate arrangement which
can be made temporarily in my absence.
Reflections based on Case Studies

Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive. In the
field of psychology and psychotherapy, it is a learnable skill and mode of communication. Assertiveness
implies acting in a confident manner.

As it could be noted from the case study of Kiran that when people are not assertive, they can
suffer a lot of problems, such as, they lose their confidence level. And indeed, having confidence to a
satisfactory level is important in almost all the aspects of life to accomplish the objectives which you
want. There is no doubt about the fact that once the level of confidence decreases, it affects self-esteem
and leads to create many behavioral and emotional disorders.

In Milind's and Sunil's case it could be seen Behaving assertively can help a lot in your
profession. There are times when you are supposed to handle the situations being assertive. If you have
acquired this skill, you can handle the situations in an appropriate manner. Being assertive is a core
communication skill which is learnable like any other skills are. Being assertive means that you are
capable of expressing yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view to get accepted while
without being aggressive and respecting the feelings of others.