The Approach

Manifesto
By
Bobby Rio
  

I  want  to  let  you  in  on  the  big  secret  to  
meeting  more  women.  

...But  first  you  got  to  understand  what's  really  

stopping  you...  

Because  it's  not  what  you  think.  

The  #1  thing  preventing  you  from  approaching  

more  women  is  NOT  fear.  

It's  NOT  "approach  anxiety"  

It's  NOT  lack  of  a  good  opening  line.  

Nope.  

The #1 thing preventing you from approaching

women is the same thing that prevents you from...
-­‐  Cleaning  your  apartment  

-­‐  Going  to  the  gym  

-­‐  Writing  a  term  paper  

-­‐  Getting  an  oil  change  

-­‐  Doing  your  taxes  

-­‐  Organizing  your  closet  

You're  not  scared  to  do  any  of  those  things.  

You  don't  get  "organizing  your  closet  anxiety"  

Yet,  the  majority  of  us  still  avoid  doing  those  things...  

Why?  

One  simple  deadly  phrase  we  say  to    ourselves...  

"I'll  do  it  tomorrow."  

Yep.      

What's really holding you back from approaching

more women is PROCRASTINATION…
It's  easier  for  you  to  say  "Next  time  I'll  approach  her"  

Then  it  is  to  deal  with  the  momentary  discomfort  of  
breaking  the  ice  with  a  stranger...  

(Yes,  that's  all  it  is  momentary  discomfort)  

Just  like  it's  easier  to  say  tomorrow  I'll  go  the  gym...  
then  it  is  to  deal  with  the  discomfort  of  thirty  minutes  
on  a  treadmill...  

It's  your  infinite  ability  to  put  off  talking  to  women  for  
another  day...  that  is  really  stopping  you  from  
meeting  more  of  them...  

So  if  you're  not  really  that  scared  to  approach  a  woman...  then  why  do  you  
procrastinate?  

The  cold  hard  truth  is  that  you  procrastinate  approaching  women  because  you're  
just  not  motivated  enough  to  do  it.  
Lack of Motivation Is Keeping You From
Approaching…
Now  I  can  already  here  you  saying:  

“Bobby,  I’m  extremely  motivated  to  talk  to  girls.    It’s  all  I  think  about.”  

You  don't  fully  understand  the  concept  of  motivation...  

Let  me  ask  you  something...  

Who  do  you  think  is  more  motivated  to  go  the  gym?  

A  400  pound  guy  whose  doctor  just  told  him  that  if  he  doesn't  get  some  exercise  
he's  gonna  have  a  heart  attack...    

Or  a  guy  who's  in  decent  shape,  been  going  to  the  gym  for  a  couple  months  and  is  
starting  to  see  some  results...  

By  all  accounts  the  400  pound  guy  should  be  MUCH  

more  motivated...  

He's  got  A  LOT  more  to  lose  if  he  doesn't  get  in  shape...  

Yet,  if  you'd  guessed  the  threat  of  death  would  have  
made  him  the  more  motivated  one...  

You  would  have  been  wrong.  

The  400  pound  guy  has  never  gone  to  the  gym...  

...And  the  whole  process  seems  like  a  losing  battle...    

It feels like too big a mountain to

climb...
All  he  can  focus  on  is  the  potential  discomfort  he's  going  to  feel  in  the  gym....  

So  he  puts  it  off  until  "Monday"...  

On  the  other  hand,  the  other  guy's  been  going  for  a  few  months...  

And  more  importantly...he's  starting  to  see  some  results.  

He's  lifting  more  weights,  his  pants  fit  him  better,  and  when  he  flexes  he's  starting  
to  see  some  outline  of  muscles...  

He  can't  wait  to  get  up  in  the  morning  and  go  the  gym...  

Why?  

Because he's got MOMENTUM…

Any  discomfort  he  felt  has  been  over  taken  by  a  surge  to  get  in  even  better  
shape...  

Since  he's  starting  to  see  results  he's  imaging  himself  with  a  six  pack...  

He's  thinking  about  what  his  ex  is  gonna  say  when  she  sees  him...  

He  feels  unstoppable...  

So  what  is  his  secret?  

How  did  he  suddenly  get  super  motivated  to  the  gym?  

It's  actually  pretty  simple.  

And  its  actually  something  you  can  use  just  as  easily  to  motivate  yourself  to  meet  
more  women...  

 
So  in  the  previous  section  we  determined  that  
what's  really  stopping  you  from  meeting  more  
women  is  procrastination.  

And  you  don't  procrastinate  because  you're  

scared  to  approach...  

You  procrastinate  because  you're  not  motivated  

enough  to  approach...  

You're  more  focused  on  the  momentary  

discomfort...  then  the  potential  reward...  

"The  Carrot  on  a  Stick"  

Did  you  ever  hear  the  expression  "Carrot  on  a  

Stick?"  

It  comes  from  the  idea  of  a  driver  dangling  a  

carrot  in  front  of  a  donkey...  Just  out  of  reach.  

As  the  donkey  goes  for  the  carrot  the  driver  

yanks  it  away...  

Always  leaving  the  carrot  just  out  of  reach.  

Donkeys  are  dumb  animals.  So  they'll  focus  on  that  carrot  forever...  

Always  chasing  it.  Never  getting  a  bite.  

We're  not  that  dumb.  

A  donkey  will  stay  motivated  to  chase  a  carrot  it’s  never  tasted.  

We  won't.  

In  order  for  us  to  stay  motivated  to  do  something...  

We need a taste of the carrot…

Remember  I  said  the  guy  who's  been  going  to  the  gym  for  a  while  and  is  starting  
to  see  results...  

He's  gonna  be  a  lot  more  motivated  to  keep  hitting  the  gym  then  the  400  pound  
guy  (even  though  the  400  pound  guy's  life  might  depend  on  him  losing  the  
weight)  

Why?  

Because  he  got  a  taste  of  the  carrot.  

He  knows  it’s  attainable.  

He  knows  it’s  within  reach.  

On  the  other  hand..  

The  400  pound  guy  imagines  that  a  fit,  healthy  body  is  just  a  "carrot  on  a  stick"  
that  he'll  chase  forever....  

Hence,  the  lack  of  motivation.  

How does this relate to approaching women?

I'm  glad  you  asked  :)  

Nod  your  head  if  what  you're  about  to  read  describes  your  current  reality...  

You  go  out,  you  see  a  woman    you'd  like  to  talk  to...  

And  you  think  "I  don't  know  what  to  say...  Next  time  I'll  do  it"  
  

Or  maybe  you  say  "I'm  not  really    feeling  'it'  

today..."  

Or  you  just  find  yourself  standing  there,  unable  to  

move  until  finally  you  tell  yourself  "I  lost  my  
chance..."  

Or  maybe  you  don't  even  make  an  excuse  and  just  

jump  right  into  "victim  mode"...  and  say  "I  hate  
myself.  Why  am  I  such  a  pussy?    What's  wrong  
with  me?"  

And  the  next  time  you  go  out...  

You  repeat  this  cycle.  

And  repeat  this  cycle.  

And  repeat  this  cycle.  

Until  it  becomes  a  habit.  

I call this the "Non-Approach" Habit...

And  like  any  habit  you  begin  to  do  it  unconsciously...  

After  a  while  you  don't  even  bother  to  make  excuses  or  blame  yourself...    You  
simply  give  up.  And  decide  that  the  carrot  isn't  worth  the  chase...  

As  you've  accepted  the  "Non  Approach"  Habit  as  part  of  your  life...  

And  you  even  begin  to  identify  yourself  with  it...  

"I'm  just  not  the  kind  of  guy  who  approaches  random  women..."  

Yet,  in  the  back  of  your  mind  there  is  always  this  gnawing  voice  saying  "I  can't  
settle  for  this"  
"I  can't  settle  for  this"  

Every  night  you're  home  alone...  or  on  a  date  with  a  woman  you're  not  attracted  
to...  

That  voice  appears:  

"I  can't  settle  for  this"  

Well,  the  good  news  is  that  you  don't  have  to.  

What  you  need  is  a  "Taste  of  the  Carrot"  

What you need is to build up some momentum...

 
Quick  review...  

1.  It's  not  fear  keeping  you  from  meeting  women...  its  lack  
of  proper  motivation.  

2.  When  you  continue  putting  off  approaching  women,  you  

form  a  "Non-­‐Approach"  habit...  

3.  You  begin  to  view  the  idea  of  approaching  and  meeting  
new  women  as  a  "carrot  on  a  stick"  that  isn't  worth  chasing.  

4.  The  quickest  way  to  change  a  bad  habit  like  the  Non-­‐  
Approach"  habit  is  to  get  a  taste  of  the  carrot  and  build  
some  momentum.  

5.  Once  you  have  momentum,  approaching  women  

becomes  fun,    easy,  and  leads  to  meeting  dozens  of  new  
women  every  week...  

Agreed?  

So  the  question  becomes  how  do  we  finally  taste  the  carrot?  

And  the  answer  is  A  LOT  simpler  than  you  think.  

Here  goes...  

Make  it  easier  on  yourself.  

Yep.  
In  fact,  make  it  so  easy  on  yourself  that  you  can't  help  but  get  results.  

Your  first  reaction  might  be  to  say  duh?  

But  here  me  out...  

That's  NOT  what  most  gurus  are  telling  you  to  do...  

Here's a small list of things I've heard some of the dating

gurus recommending guys do to beat approach anxiety...
1.  Purposely  make  a  fool  of  yourself  in  front  of  large  crowds  of  people  to  get  more  
comfortable...  

(Sounds  hard  to  me)  

2.    Force  yourself  to  approach  10  women  per  day  to  build  confidence.  

(Sounds  hard  to  me)  

3.  Spend  hours  repeating  affirmations,  making  vision  boards,  and  learning  

complex  neuro  linguistic  programming  

(Sounds  hard  to  me)  

4.  Memorize  someone  else’s  long  winded  story  and  use  that  as  an  opener  

(Sounds  hard  to  me)  

5.  Just  be  yourself  

(Don’t  you  just  want  to  punch  them  in  the  face  when  someone  tells  you  that)  

The Problem with All The Advice You’ve Been Given

About Approach Anxiety…
Here's  the  problem  with  everything  anyone's  ever  told  you  about  how  to  get  over  
your  fear  of  approaching  women...  
The  advice  is  usually:  

a)  Hard.  

b)  Not  fun  

And  when  something  is  both  hard  and  not  fun...  

You're  not  going  to  do  it.  

Sure,  maybe  the  first  day  you'll  go  out  there  and  force  yourself  to...  

But  will  power  never  lasts  long.  You  CAN  NOT  depend  on  will-­‐power  to  get  
yourself  to  approach  women.  

You  need  MOMENTUM.  

And  you  get  momentum  by  making  the  act  of  approaching  women  both  Easy  and  
Fun.  

In  the  next  section  I’m  going  to  show  you  how  to  make  approaching  women  super  
easy…  

 
  

Cold  Approaching  Sucks…  it  sucks  the  big  one.    

I  think  we  can  all  agree  on  that…  

If  walking  up  to  random  woman  and  starting  a  conversation  intimidates,  then  you  
definitely  want  to  read  this  report.  

Because  you’re  going  to  learn  how  a  handful  of  “hacks”  that  make  approaching  
women  A  LOT  easier.  

And  once  you  learn  these  you  can  meet  more  woman  then  you  know  what  to  do  
with…  without  ever  having  to  cold  approach  a  stranger  again.  

Best Spots at a Party to Spark a Conversation

Back  in  college  I  learned  that  at  the  big  house  parties,  
there  were  a  handful  of  spots,  that  despite  my  
shyness,  I  could  easily  start  talking  to  girls…  

The  line  for  the  bathroom  was  one  of  them…  

At  some  point  during  the  night  almost  every  girl  in  the  
party  is  going  to  make  a  trip  to  the  bathroom…  usually  
alone,  or  with  only  one  or  two  friends…  

…Plus  the  bathroom  is  usually  away  from  the  loud  music  and  commotion…  
making  much  more  natural  to  start  a  conversation…    

For  some  reason  it  seems  conversation  is  sparked  effortlessly  there…  

Another  great  place  at  a  party  is  near  the  keg.      

In  fact,  at  a  lot  of  the  parties  I  went  to  I  would  take  over  the  
job  pumping  the  keg  and  filling  the  cups…  It  was  a  great  risk  
free  way  to  start  a  conversation  with  a  girl…  

And  then  later  in  the  night  when  I  approached  her  again,  it  
was  no  longer  a  cold  approach…  since  we  had  previously  
talked.  

You  can  even  stack  them  on  top  of  each  other…    

-­‐ An  initial  chat  at  the  bathroom  

-­‐ Some  more  flirting  at  the  keg,    

Next  time  she  sees  you  she  feels  like  she’  s  known  you  
forever…  making  it  super  easy  to  escalate  quickly  the  conversation…  

Best Spots in a Bar or Club

Bars  and  clubs  have  their  own  little  pockets…  great  little  locations  that  make  
approaching  easier…  

A  few  years  back  in  New  York  they  banned  smoking  in  bars  and  clubs…  this  
opened  up  a  goldmine  of  opportunity  for  meeting  women.  

Why?  

Because  now  there  are  dozens  of  women  standing  outside  the  bar  (usually  alone)  
smoking…        

I  don’t  even  smoke,  but  I  usually  hang  out  there,  because  the  conversation  comes  
easily…  

And  yep,  later  in  the  night  all  the  girls  you  chatted  up  outside  have  gone  from  cold  
approaches  to  warm  approaches…  

Not  to  mention  that  bars  are  basically  a  real  estate  game…      

If  you  get  there  early  and  have  a  spot  near  the  bar…  women  literally  come  to  
you…      
You  can  literally  sit  back,  and  be  certain  that  every  few  minutes  a  new  girl  will  be  
standing  a  few  feet  away  from  you…        

Most  of  the  time  they’ll  start  the  conversation  while  their  waiting  for  their  drink…  

What Makes Approaching Women Even Easier?

But  there’s  something  that  is  even  more  of  an  
advantage  then  a  good  spot…    

There  was  a  great  and  famous  advertising  guy,  Gary  

Halbert,  who  used  to  ask  his  students:    

“"If  you  and  I  both  owned  a  hamburger  stand  and  

we  were  in  a  contest  to  see  who  would  sell  the  most  
hamburgers,  what  advantages  would  you  most  like  
to  have  on  your  side?"  

The  answers  vary.    

Some  people  say  they  would  like  to  have  the  advantage  of  having  superior  meat  
from  which  to  make  their  hamburgers.    

Others  say  they  want  sesame  seed  buns.  

Others  mention  location.    

Someone  usually  wants  to  be  able  to  offer  the  lowest  prices.  

Anyway,  after  the  students  are  finished  telling  what  advantages  they  would  most  
like  to  have  he’d  say  to  them:    

"O.K.,  I'll  give  you  every  single  advantage  you  asked  for.  I,  myself,  only  want  one  
advantage  and,  if  you  will  give  it  to  me,  I  will  whip  the  pants  off  of  all  of  you  when  
it  comes  to  selling  burgers!"  

"What  advantage  do  you  want?"  they  ask.  

"The  only  advantage  I  want,"  he’d  reply,  "is  A  STARVING  CROWD!"  

 Think  about  it.  
 

Put Yourself In Front of a Starving Crowd

 
What  I  am  trying  to  teach  you  here  is  to  constantly  be  on  the  look  out  for  groups  
of  women  who  have  demonstrated  that  they  are  starving  (or  at  least  hungry!)  for  
what  you  can  offer.  

If  we’re  looking  to  make  approaching  women  as  easy  as  possible…  then  wouldn’t  
the  easiest  woman  in  the  world  to  approach  be  the  one  who  is  actually  looking  to  
be  approached…    

Even  more  specifically,  a  woman  looking  to  be  approached  by  a  guy  like  you…  

Where Do You Find These Women?

Last  month  I  got  a  call  from  my  friend  Jared…    

That  night  he  had  been  on  his  first  singles  

cruise  around  New  York  City…  

And  he  absolutely  loved  it…  

There  were  no  games.      

There  was  no  wondering  if  she  had  a  

boyfriend.      

No  wondering  if  she  was  only  out  to  catch  up  

with  friends  or  a  if  it  was  a  girl’s  night  out…  

You  knew  exactly  why  she  was  there  (to  meet  a  dude).  

Which  made  approaching  women  extremely  easy…  

That’s  just  one  example  of  putting  yourself  in  front  of  a  starving  crowd…  

He’s  actually  still  dating  a  hot  Latina  girl  he  met  on  the  cruise…      
A  few  weeks  back  I  got  an  email  from  one  of  Social  Training  Lab  clients…  Sebastian  

At  30  years  old..  He  had  finally  lost  his  virginity…  

To  a  woman  he  met  in  his  salsa  class…  

Another  example  of  putting  yourself  in  front  of  a  starving  crowd….  

A  woman  who  attends  and  pays  for  a  weekly  salsa  class…  and  isn’t  there  with  a  
boyfriend…  has  just  raised  her  hand  and  said,  yes,  I’m  open  to  meet  someone….      

And  she’s  probably  actively  looking….  

Easy.  

The  more  you  hate  cold  approaching  the  more  you  need  to  find  ways  to  make  it  
easier  on  yourself.  

Now  even  when  you’re  in  front  of  a  starving  crowd…  even  when  you’re  in  front  of  
a  group  of  woman  that  are  actively  looking  to  be  approached…  You  can  still  make  
it  easier  on  yourself….  

How  so?  

 
  

The Easiest Women in the World to

Approach
You  can  learn  to  spot  the  ones  that  are  sending  you  the  
signals  that  they  want  you  to  approach  them.  

Yes,  whether  you  realize  it  or  not,  every  day,  every  time  
you  go  out,  there  are  women  who  are  trying  their  
damnedest  to  get  your  attention  and  to  get  you  to  
approach  them…  

I’ve  talked  in  depth  about  this  with  a  lot  of  extremely  hot  girls…  

And  girls  will  tell  me  how  the  most  frustrating  thing  in  the  world  for  them  is  when  
they  hear  a  guy  say  “oh  you’re  a  girl  you  can  get  laid  anytime  you  want…”  

And  the  girl  is  like  “  Sure,  if  I  put  a  sign  up  that  said  I’m  looking  to  go  with  
someone…”      

But  short  of  that,  these  women  go  out  all  the  time…    sometimes  they’re  looking  
for  some  male  affection,  sometimes  its  that  time  of  the  month  and  they’re  just  
freaken  horny,  sometimes  they’ve  just  been  dumped  and  their  looking  for  a  
revenge  lay…  
Yes,  they  send  all  the  signals…  and  guys  just  don’t  pickup  what  they’re  putting  
down…  

I  think  you’ll  agree,  that  there  is  no  easier  girl  to  approach  then  one  that  is  
actively  trying  to  get  your  attention  and  hinting  that  she  wants  to  talk  to  you…  

So  let’s  look  at  a  few  of  the  signs…  

Signals a Girl Wants to Talk to You

The  most  obvious  is  that  she  makes  her  way  
over  towards  you…  and  for  no  reason  stands  in  
your  general  area…  

Here’s  what  I  mean.    

If  you’re  at  a  large  un-­‐crowded  bar…    and  you  

and  you  friend  are  talking  in  one  corner.    And  
you  notice  two  girls  on  the  other  side  of  the  
bar.    And  then  twenty  minutes  later  for  
apparently  no  reason,  they  are  now  on  your  
side  of  the  bar…  

There  is  a  reason  for  that…  

Now  if  she’s  with  a  group,  and  she  might  also  accidentally  separate  herself  from  
the  group…    

Or  she  might  just  keep  finding  excuses  to  walk  past  you….    

IF  she’s  already  close  to  you,  she  might  shift  her  body  language  to  be  more  open  
to  you…  to  show  you  that  she’s  available  for  you  to  approach…    

Or  maybe  you’ve  had  a  girl  accidentally  bump  into  you…    

Did  you  take  advantage  of  it…  or  did  you  just  let  her  apologize  and  keep  walking…    
(If  you  kept  walking  you  missed  an  opportunity)  
One  of  the  most  obvious  things  a  woman  will  do  when  she  wants  to  talk  to  you…  
is  she’ll  eavesdrop  on  your  conversation…  

She’ll  noticeably  laugh  at  one  of  your  jokes  she’s  overheard…  or  even  throw  her  
own  opinion  in  to  try  to  get  your  attention…  

Maybe  she’ll  even  drop  something  near  you  hoping  that  you’ll  pick  it  up…  

Now,  women  are  not  stupid…  and  they  know  you  need  an  opener…  so  they’ll  try  
their  damnedest  to  give  you  one…  

If  she’s  reading  a  book  or  looking  at  something  she’ll  try  to  let  you  see  so  that  you  
can  ask  her  about  it…  

If  she’s  looking  at  something  or  someone  she’ll  talk  out  loud  to  herself  so  that  you  
realize  she  wants  you  to  comment  on  it  too…    She’s  handing  you  an  opener  on  a  
silver  platter…  

Now  those  are  the  obvious  ones…  

Of  course  there  are  some  girls  who  are  subtler…  and  with  those  girls,  you’ll  have  
to  pay  closer  attention  to  body  language…  

If  she  catches  you  looking  she  might  push  her  hair  out  of  the  way  so  you  can  see  
her  face  better….she  adjusts  her  clothes  after  looking  at  you…  

The  fact  is…  

The  signs  are  there.  

Whether  it’s  a  girl  in  your  class…  girls  in  the  bar…  girls  at  the  park…    the  girl  in  
your  yoga  lesson  …  or  just  a  girl  you  see  in  the  hallway  at  work…  

You’ve  been  getting  the  signals.  

And  if  you  want  to  have  the  best  possible  chance  at  success  you  really  need  to  
learn  to  spot  them.  

Let’s recap real quick….

In  order  to  make  approaching  women  as  easy  as  possible…  

We  said  You  need  to  put  yourself  in  front  of  a  starving  crowd…  

This  means  you  need  to  find  the  best  possible  location  to  meet  women  and  you  
need  to  spot  the  woman  that  are  actively  looking  to  be  approached…  and  
particularly  the  woman  who  are  sending  you  the  signals  that  they  want  you  to  
approach  them…  

But  there  is  one  more  missing  ingredient  in  making  this  as  easy  as  possible  for  
you…  

The Missing Ingredient to Meeting Unlimited

Amounts of Women
I  have  a  saying…  

It’s  not  enough  to  be  in  the  right  place  at  the  right  time…  

You  need  to  be  the  right  person  at  the  right  time…  

What  do  I  mean  by  this…  

Chances  are  more  often  that  you  care  to  admit…    you  saw  a  woman…  and  you  just  
knew  that  if  you  went  over  and  talked  to  her…  

She  would  have  been  totally  into  you…  

Yet…  you  could  not  get  yourself  to  act.  

Maybe  you  talked  yourself  out  of  it  by  finding  some  excuse  like  “she  doesn’t  seem  
like  she  wants  to  be  bothered”    

Or    

“You’re  just  not  feeling  it”…    

Or    

“She  probably  has  a  boyfriend  waiting  at  home”      

Or    

“Next  time  I  see  her  I’ll  talk  to  her…”  

But  you  don’t.  

You  froze  up,  felt  uncomfortable,  and  let  the  moment  pass  by.  

You Lost Your MOJO Around Women…

In  other  words…  You’ve  completely  lost  your  Mojo  around  women….  

And  without  this  mojo,  all  the  best  pickup  lines,  all  the  approach  me  signals,  and  
all  the  starving  crowds  in  the  world  won’t  help  you  meet  you  meet  women.  

If  you’re  sick  and  tired  of  feeling  frustrated  and  even  a  little  confused  about  why  
you  just  can’t  get  yourself  to  grow  some  balls  and  approach  women…  

I’ve  got  another  free  video  coming  tomorrow  that  will  address  the  idea  of  
becoming  the  right  guy  in  the  right  place  and  the  right  time…  

The  video  is  called  The  3  Silent  Killers  of  Your  Mojo  Around  Women…  

And  in  this  video  I  am  going  to  expose  what  it  really  is  that  is  preventing  you  from  
approaching  women…  

Trust  me…  its  not  what  you  think.  

And  realizing  what  it  is…  and  how  EASY  it  is  to  fix…  will  have  you  well  on  your  way  
to  meeting  that  one  girl  (you  know  the  one  I’m  talking  about).  

I’ll  be  sending  you  that  video  tomorrow  via  email.  

The  subject  line  will  say:  3  Silent  Killers  of  Your  Mojo  Around  Women.  

And  you  don’t  want  to  miss  it.  

See  you  then!  

 
You’re  friend,  

Bobby  Rio  

P.S.    Before  the  next  time  you  go  out,  review  this  PDF  and  implement  these  
simple  tips  for  making  approaching  woman  a  lot  easier.  

P.P.S.    If  you  stick  with  me  over  the  next  couple  days  I  am  going  to  show  you  how  
to  make  approaching  women  completely  easy  and  natural…  to  the  point  you’ll  
wonder  why  you  were  ever  scared  at  all.