Allison Beale

English 112

Rhetorical Analysis

May 4th, 2021

“A Home Away From Home”

“Welcome.” The first words a person researching schools expects to find. A welcome

page is the first page you will see on a website. College design tours around the idea of making

the person of interest feel welcome on campus. Promotions and advertisements only sell and

convince high school seniors to apply if they feel welcomed. The welcoming feeling creates a

lasting impression on the student that will eventually lead them to find a place of belonging on

said campus.

A college is a form of business. The more students they get applying and committing, the

more profit they will receive. Colleges want to attract students to apply and stay. The institutions

benefit by creating a warm, welcoming environment to show new coming students. William and

Mary took this idea to heart. They send positive messages about the campus through personal

experiences on social media and handwritten notes from alumni. William and Mary’s primary

goal is to attract students through their student body. Current students are constantly raving about

their unique and positive experiences regarding their peers. They use the appeals: the need for

achievement, affiliation, and autonomy. They combine them to create a sense of belonging on

their campus. William and Mary want to spread those positive stories to all who apply and visit,

hoping to gain a new member.

Every December, William and Mary host their annual “Yule Log Ceremony.” The

college takes this special date to share a poem with prospecting students on their email list. It is a
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very casual, heartfelt email to encourage students to relax for the upcoming holiday. At the very

end is a postscript. It read, “P.S. The January 1 application deadline applies to a student’s actual

Common Application and Coalition Application. Supplemental materials including transcripts,

test scores, and recommendations may still be submitted after the January 1 deadline.” This

message encourages and reminds students of how flexible they are willing to be to gain new

applicants. They hope to create a warm message that encourages students to become interested in

their school. William and Mary also include a photograph of the Yule Log Ceremony. They hope

to spark excitement and interest in attending the same ceremony one day in the future. William

and Mary is using pathos to create a feeling of enjoyment and comfort at the idea of attending

their school. They also use ethos when explaining their application process in an attempt to ease

the stress of applicants. The main appeal they are trying to give the audience is the need for

affiliation. By using the appeals needed for aesthetic sensation and affiliation, they create a

calming, caring environment to attract new students.

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William and Mary is predominantly seen as a more difficult school. Filled with high

prestige, this public ivy league is well known for its hardcore professors and rigorous academics.

Their message “For the Bold'' inspires the reader to believe they can achieve greatness. They use

pathos because it inspires a feeling of self-worth and intelligence, especially when received

directly in the mail. Audiences feel empowered and special that this was sent to them. William

and Mary uses the appeals need for affiliation and achievement. It inspires applicants to achieve

the impossible and to become bold to finish their education. William and Mary desires those who

care about their education and are willing to work for it. This message speaks directly to those

students.
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“William and Mary & You.” An inspiring message. It makes the reader feel noticed and that they

belong at this school. Followed by a sweet note about a student's possibilities, William and Mary

hopes people feel welcomed just by looking at the card. They use pathos to inspire and spark a

student's interest in going to this school. They want students to feel special and noticed when

applying here. They also use ethos when explaining all the possibilities a student can pursue here

at William and Mary. By using the appeal’s need for affiliation and autonomy, this school

promises a special experience and a home for each student. They know everyone will find their

place here on campus.

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Finally, William and Mary wants to share their statistics that make their school a great

environment. They use logos to share statistics about their graduation rate, organizations,

Princeton Review rankings, and the faculty-to-student ratio. The Princeton Review even ranked

William and Mary as number 4 in happiest students. This is to continue the need to have students

feel welcomed. They use ethos and pathos to encourage students that if they decide to come to

William and Mary, they will be happy and they will find their place. They use the appeal’s need

for achievement, autonomy, and affiliation. They want to tell prospective students that they will

succeed here due to their high graduation rate, great facilities, and amazing staff. They want to

share with applicants that they will be happy and find friends here, fulfilling their need for

affiliation. Last but not least, they will fulfill applicants' need for autonomy by giving them small

classrooms and a sense of belonging in their community. They want kids to be seen and heard,

and William and Mary will provide that for them.

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William and Mary’s main goal is to create an environment in which students can succeed and

find their place. They want to express their beliefs and values to all applicants in the hopes that

they will attract more students. By creating a welcoming environment, they will continue to grow

as a school and business.

Rhetorical Analysis Paper Peer Edit

Writer’s Name: __Allison______________________________________

Peer Editor’s Name: ____Catherine________________________________

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1. Highlight the thesis. Is the thesis valid and written appropriately? Explain.
Yes because it lets the reader know that the essay will be about the effects of college marketing
on undecided students.

2. What evidence is used to support the thesis?

College tours are designed around the idea of making the person of interest feel welcome on

campus.

3. How could the writer make the evidence more convincing?

Add more details

4. Is the paper 2-3 pages (double spaced)? Yes or No

5. List the examples of strong, precise words the writer has used –
a. aesthetic e.
b. Prospective f.
c. rigorous g.
d. h.
(Hint to the writer – If the peer editor cannot find at least 8 strong words, you need to improve
word choice)

6. Is the conclusion effective or is it rushed? ___effective_________________

● What could the writer do to make the conclusion stronger?
Restate the thesis better or add more details

7. Did the writer analyze: pathos- ______yes ______ no

ethos- ______yes ______ no
logos- ______yes ______ no