So you never really found a way to fit in at work.

Jill from accounting thinks you’re a

loser, and Ben (who’s a traveling salesman and shouldn’t have an opinion because he
doesn’t even know you) gives you the cold shoulder whenever he sees you. So what?

No, really: So what? If the people at work don’t like you — and they may have
myriad reasons, both good and bad — it’s not the end of the world. And it’s time you
stop dreading the awkward interactions with people in the copy room and start
accepting the fact that if you’re not going to change anyone’s mind about liking you
(you won’t) you may as well live your best life as the office’s chosen social outcast.

Don’t worry, though. Being the office pariah isn’t awful. In fact, it can be pretty damn
rewarding.

Here’s why:

No one will ever invite you to anything.

No matter what anyone tells you, no one wants to spend their time outside of the
office with people that they spend forty hours a week working alongside. Even if
you like the people you work with, there’s no denying that once five o’clock hits all
you want to do is steamroll everyone else to the elevator and get home.

That’s why being the person everyone is annoyed by is actually a pretty sweet deal.
Instead of pretending that you’re just going to “network” with the team at Chili’s, you
can shut off your computer and confidently stride out of the building, knowing that
you don’t have to give the people at your place of employment a single thought off
company time. And think of all the time and money you save by skipping the happy
hour and just microwaving a Lean Cuisine at home. Let your office mates whisper
about their clandestine get-togethers at TGI Friday’s to their heart’s content. You’ve
got a bubble bath and a whole new season of Orange Is the New Black to get through.

You don’t have to pretend to like your coworkers, thus giving you the freedom to
focus on real friendships and/or valuable skills.

Here’s the thing: building alliances with your cube mates and establishing micro-
feuds with the people ten feet over is exhausting. It not only takes away from what
you’re really supposed to be doing at work (watching YouTube), but it takes an
emotional toll as well. Just trying to piece together who you’re supposed to be friends
with this week is a tiring exercise in a court intrigue of you never signed up for.

The good news, if you’re the office pariah, is that you’ll never be asked to weigh in
on who’s okay and who’s not (you), which will give you time to dust off your resume,
learn a new language during your numerous restroom breaks, or get on Gchat and talk
to your real friends about how awful everyone at your job is.

You never have to keep in touch with these people again.

Don’t you hate that song and dance most people have to do when they leave their
current job? We’re talking the whole “let’s keep in touch forever” thing where you
exchange non-company email addresses and phone numbers and promise you’ll
totally get together and still be friends even though the one thing you have in common
will disappear as soon as you walk out that door. People everyone dislikes? They
don’t have to worry about doing that. And they don’t have to pretend that the
“friendships they’ve made along the way” are in any way meaningful or important to
them.

You don’t have to say yes unless you really want to.

Whether people like you or not, they’re going to ask you for favors. If you’re the
person everyone is annoyed by, it might be tempting to do all the favors you can in
the hopes that the people who think less of you than they should (they’re no better
than you, friend!) will suddenly change their mind and realize you’re not so bad after
all. But that’s never going to happen. Instead, they’ll probably accept the favor and
then secretly make fun of you anyway.

Don’t let any of that get you down, though. If people have already decided they
dislike you, you’ve actually got more freedom than you think. Knowing that nothing
you do will change someone’s opinion of you frees you to say no as much as you
need to. You can certainly help someone out if you’d like, but if people are going to
hate regardless, you’re not beholden to helping them out if it’s an inconvenience.

And if you say no enough (and at the right time), your co-workers’ dislike may not
waver, but their respect for you may go up.

“I don’t like that guy,” Nate from finance might say one day, “but I’ve got to respect
the way he stands up for himself.”

Working with people you hate may actually force you to be better. 

Surprised? Don’t be. It’s easy to think that working with someone you really, really
like is going to be easy, but when the people you’re working with are your friends you
step into dangerous territory where decisions you make about work turn personal and
vice-versa.

When those people are not your friends and you’re not trying to win their love and
affection, it becomes easier to make decisions, disagree, and stand up for what you
think is right. We’re not saying you’ll always be correct, but you’ll at least be free of
the fear that you’ll lose your weekend plans if you let the person you’re working on a
project with know that you disagree with the direction they’re taking.

But there’s one more thing that working with people who dislike you can force you to
do: gain more confidence. Sure, it’s easy to think that if people have decided they’re
against you that there’s something wrong with you, but you’ve got to really think
about how group mentality and hive minds work. Some people may act like they’re
not cool with you because they don’t want the majority to turn on them. So instead of
succumbing to the pain of thinking you’re not good enough (you are!), you should
take this time as an opportunity to try out new things in your job and think about what
you will and won’t put up with in the future.

And hey, if all else fails, you can always purchase huge headphones to wear at your
desk and drink heavily on your lunch hour.

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