Professional Documents
Culture Documents
∞ Empathy ∞
The Life of an Empath
"Oh to feel Loves embrace, to get lost in Her eyes...to caress Her face—but woe to those pricked by Her thorny facade."
What is Empathy? Is it the same as Telepathy? Isn’t that some made-up ‘New Age’ stuff?
All valid questions. Let’s address all these concerns with equal attention and see if we can’t
come to some mutual understanding in these regards. Let us see if we can’t peer into the life of an
Empath together. Let’s see, if I can effectively share my story with you.
Empathy Defined:
Empathy, for the most part, can take two forms. ‘Cognitive Empathy’, which is perspective;
“putting oneself in another’s shoes” or “seeing it through their eyes, from their point of view”—and ‘Emotional
Empathy’, which is the actual sharing of emotions, “You could cut the tension in this room with a knife”.2
We, of course, will be focusing primarily on Emotional Empathy.
Empathy vs. Telepathy, what’s the difference?
While Empathy primarily deals with one’s ability to both feel and sometimes interpret
another’s emotional state of being; Telepathy is the ability to communicate to or with another person
without conventional means. It’s ‘Mind to Mind’ communication. There is an interesting study3 that
details the direct correlation between persons claiming to have telepathic abilities and visible effects
on the right parahippocampal gyrus. Because of this, although I am not a telepath myself; I find it
hard to discount telepathy. I would also have to venture the guess that any true telepath would also
be empathic, but that is entirely conjecture.
Now….the hardest question of all to address. “Is it real? Isn’t this New Age B.S., or is there any
way to prove it exists?”
Left vs. Right Brained Thought.
Since first being proposed in the 1960’s by American psychobiologist and Nobel Prize
winner, Roger W. Sperry; controversy abounds in regards to the validity of Left vs. Right brained
thinking. While I defend more recent scientific research into the overall interconnectedness of the
human brain and its inseparable nature…I also find great validity in the years of multiple studies that
suggest a very distinct nature in the two hemispheres of the brain. I would also speculate that an
ultimate goal of personal development would be learning to balance the two.
Traditionally speaking, Left Brain thinkers are:
• Analytical • Precise
• Black & White • Rational
• Learning Styles: Linear, Reality-Based, • Realistic
Sequence, Symbolic • Scientific
• Logical • Strategic
• Mathematical • Usually Dog Lovers
• Orderly • Usual Music Preference: Classical
• Planner
• Practical
While Right Brain thinkers are:
• Colorful • Mystical/Psychic
• Creative & Artistic • Passionate
• Emotional • Poetic
• Free Spirited • Sensual
• Impulsive • Usually Cat Lovers
• Intuitive • Usual Music Preference: Rock
• Learning Styles: Concrete, Fantasy-
Oriented, Holistic, Random
Non-Traditionally; they are also a representation of the Masculine and Feminine within us
all. While Left-Brain thinkers are more masculine and Right-Brained ones are more feminine…I
would once again speculate that an ultimate goal of personal and spiritual development would be to
master a balance between the two. Stemming from the more Emotional, Intuitive, Passionate, and Sensual
aspects of human nature; Empathy would be associated with Right-Brained Feminine thought. Keep
in mind however, that this does not imply that Empathy is in-of-itself a feminine trait or that men
who exhibit Empathy are more feminine by nature. I reiterate my belief that an ultimate personal
and spiritual balance would be achieved through a healthy balance of the masculine and feminine
nature present in us all. It is also important to note that while Empathy would be considered a
feminine right-brained function…we are a masculine left-brained society. It’s to be expected that
most people would not believe in something they can’t touch or see. Empathy does not measure up
to the standards of a left-brained society. That being said…just because I can’t see or touch air, does
not mean that it doesn’t exist. As mentioned above, there are studies being done on the measurable
changes in the brains of persons claiming to have telepathic abilities. Similarly, there is also ongoing
research into the measurable effects of Empathy4.
The Eyes are the Windows to the Soul.
Eye contact is a key feature in communication…not just for humans but for nearly every
species on the planet. It’s only recently however that science has started to understand why. Multiple
studies have shown that humans use eye contact to both communicate with and read each other5.
Most of these skills are naturally learned and develop in infancy. For an Empath, this is innate
knowledge. Something we just seem to understand about ourselves and life from a very young age.
We use the eyes to address a person’s soul and thus bypass the façade they present to the world-at-
large.
The Human Aura, Chakra Points and Spiritual Touch.
Shrouded in mystery and controversy alike is the ideal of a human aura. A colorful blanket of
energy, said to envelop all living things, that is invisible to the naked eye. Now before you
scoff…please consider the visible light-spectrum. It is an irrefutable fact that we can only see a portion
of the world around us6. The scientific community itself has invested countless hours into the study
of the aura and human-generated EM (electro-magnetic) fields7. Photographers even use special
cameras to visually capture an aura, using equipment that is specifically modified to see what the
eyes cannot8.
Cymatics is the study of the Visualization of Sound created through vibration. Sound is
played through a medium, such as sand or water, and the vibrations reveal varying geometric
patterns9. It also reveals the degree to which both sound and vibration play in our physiology.
Piezoelectricity10 is, “…the ability of certain materials to generate an electric charge in response to applied
mechanical stress. The word Piezoelectric is derived from the Greek piezein, which means to squeeze or press, and
piezo, which is Greek for “push”. … When piezoelectric material is placed under mechanical stress, a shifting of the
positive and negative charge centers in the material takes place, which then results in an external electrical field. When
reversed, an outer electrical field either stretches or compresses the piezoelectric material.”.
Piezoelectricity. “What is the Piezoelectric Effect?” Nanomotion.<http://www.nanomotion.com/piezo-ceramic-motor-technology/piezoelectric-effect/>
I would speculate that the vibrations of our thoughts and speech would affect the
hydroxylapatite crystals found within corpora arenacea [brain sand] that accumulates in the Pineal
Gland11 and other parts of the brain (Cymatics), causing them to become excited (Piezoelectricity)
and consequently affect the physiology of the DNA around it. The results of which, I would further
speculate, would change the resulting chemical composition of the gases released from the human
body and thus, the color of our aura. This would mean that the color of our aura would be a direct
representation of our overall physiological wellbeing.
What we Westerners call the ‘Aura’ is known as Ruah to the Jews, Qi (Chi) to the Chinese &
Prana to the Hindus. Prana moves through Nādi and converges on Chakra (Circle, Vortex, Wheel)
points all over the ‘subtle body’. Seven are of particular interest, especially in Western culture. The
3rd (Manipura), is ‘The Seat of Our Emotions’. It’s located in the Solar Plexus, and is often called the
Naval Chakra. Empaths transfer a massive amount of emotional energy through this chakra point
and as a result, they often suffer numerous medical complications including ulcers, intestinal &
urinary issues, lower back problems and digestive disorders.
For many Empaths, myself included; an aura is felt…not seen. If we are to suppose that the
scientifically measurable aura exists, then it would go without saying that the potential for us to feel
each other’s electromagnetic fields would exist as well. This sort of Spiritual Touch is all too familiar
to an Empath. More than just real…more than a gift…it becomes an Empaths curse. See…emotion
can hurt, literally12. After years of dealing with others emotions, it can become hard not to isolate
ones-self. Prolonged social-isolation however, is some of the worst pain that an Empath can
endure…and yes, I speak from extensive experience.
Well, much earlier on I had promised a personal story. To see if I could use my personal
experiences to convey the life of an Empath. I now feel that we have enough context between us to
accomplish that.
I would have to say, that although I thought that it was something all of us
experienced…Electromagnetic Sensitivities were some of my earliest memories of empathic
behavior. The tubes in the older TVs used to drive me crazy. I would both hear and feel a ‘hiss’ so
long as the TV was on. The minute it was turned off, the hissing did as well. I could hear it from
anywhere in the house, and through closed doors. Old houses with old and damaged electrical
would feel like a slight hum…but much easier to ignore than the TVs. Although weaker when I was
younger and not developed until my late teens; I would also feel the EM fields of people but it was
more like a warmth similar to body heat than an actual tangible material. These days it’s invasive. I
cannot get within a few feet of people without feeling physically smothered. Their auras are staunch,
pungent and nearly tangible. Their eyes are less clouded-windows, and more like Panoramic Picture-
Windows…leaving little to the imagination. When I was younger…it was easier to hate the sin and
love the sinner….but these days, I can’t seem to see past the grotesque potentials that I also see they
can become. I fear the moment the act out in that potential and I have to be the one to suffer its
wrath. It’s not right…I know that. It’s not how I used to be.
As I started to get older I learned to develop my ability to feel people, even at a distance. Eye
contact became an essential tool, and I started to inexplicably gain weight as I continued to pile
others problems on top of my own. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was effectively helping others
in an effort to leach off of their happiness. Once they mentally/emotionally felt better, their chakras
started to process the flow of Prana through the body properly and thus change the corresponding
vibration of their EM Field. What was an invasive communication between our respective auras,
became a communion of positive energy and Prana exchange. It was then that I began to exhibit
another common empathic-trait. Addictive Personalities. I became addicted to helping people. I became
instinctively defensive of the underdog in nearly any situation. Even if it were a situation where I
would not normally defend myself…or even if I may normally root for the other team…I just can’t
help hating it when I see anything or anyone being ganged up on. You can call me whatever, you can
threaten me as long as you don’t touch me…you can make fun of me…just don’t pick on anyone in
front of me…then all of a sudden I want to care. Makes no sense and does not suggest a healthy
fight or flight instinct on my part…but years of experience shows it’s bred into who I am. I hate
bullies.
I became a great listener and people started to naturally confide in me with little prompting
on my part. Before long I had countless acquaintances, yet I was alone. Isolated while in the middle
of a crowd. I never quite fit in, never stopped feeling alone. I became more attached to family pets
and neighbor’s animals as time went by. Emotional exhaustion finally set in and at the age of 16 I
had my first emotional breakdown. A few weeks later I took 87 over the counter pills in an attempt
to take a permanent nap. It was also around this time that I started to have a reoccurring dream that
lasted for several years, although I have not remembered any of my dreams for the better part of
December 21, 2014 - 11:39 PM Empathy Page | 4
“Be Quick to Hear, Slow to Speak & Slow to Anger – Being ever intent on three noble ideals:
The Good Word, Well Spoken. The Good Thought, Well Thought. The Good Deed, Well Done.”
` rr lr h w h y
ten. To say that I had become emotionally drained would have been an understatement. In an
attempt to bring order into the chaos that was my life, I slowly became a clean-freak…to the point
of becoming anal-retentive. “There’s a place for everything and everything’s in its place”. Due to the lifestyle I
was living…many of these changes only made my life worse. Try being a neat-freak in a tweaker
house. It’s a lot harder than it sounds. It was at this time that my creative juices really began to flow
and I started to dabble heavily in poetry. Something I still have a passion for, but no longer have the
focus. As my focus has waned, I tend to daydream more often.
I do get bored easily and yes, I do find it hard to do things that I don’t already enjoy…but,
I’ve never ‘felt’ food and am definitely not a vegetarian. I still have a sensitivity to EM fields, but no
longer listen well. I find it very difficult to be present in the moment lately. I am constantly both
spiritually and physically exhausted, and my chakra’s are nearly all out of balance. I am incredibly
instinctive and am almost obsessively passionate about knowledge and Truth. I love adventure…I
mean, I came out here to Seattle with two back-packs and nothing else. Being poor most of my life
however, I have never had a problem taking second hand stuff. I rarely buy clothing new. Weight-
wise…I am currently 40lbs overweight. Too much comfort eating for sure. As for being sensitive to
movies and TV…I have never been scared or upset easily…although I do have to admit that either in
my weakened emotional state or in my old age; I do find myself getting a ‘lil teared up more often
than I would like to admit. More of a sympathy pain akin to when my son’s mother was pregnant
and I both had morning sickness (cramps and all) and food cravings than fear, anger or disgust. In
these later years…as the emotional weight has become more difficult to bare, I have become more
solitary and suffered more social anxiety as a result.
Why would I tell you this? Why would I reveal such personal things? Well…first and
foremost, I’ve nothing to hide. I’ve no shame in having weakness, nor in revealing it. I would only
have shame in myself for trying to hide from it. Though I share this study publicly…I did it for me.
I sought to further understand myself and how I am currently interacting with the world around me
and why. This study is an attempt at rediscovery, reaffirmation…of personal rejuvenation. Being
dishonest would not make sense. I have set out to better understand myself, and I now do. It was
not until this very moment that I had the tools necessary to move forward in life and progress past
this obstacle. It was not until I chose to face and address my fear that I had the power to conquer it.
Becoming overwhelmed in the Manipura, my entire chakral-system started to deteriorate. As
a result, I suffered damage to the Manipura and Muladhara. Consequently, health and emotional
issues started to develop in response to the imbalance. Despite the plethora of possible reasons and
attempted solutions that can be found in regards to this imbalance…I’ve chosen to focus on one
thing above all else. Love. Until I can understand and accept the nature of love…I cannot heal. While
I am not saying, nor implying that I must ‘fall in love’….I do mean that I need to understand it. I
need to have as much of a left-brained understanding of love as I do a right-brained understanding of it.
I can feel it for others…I see it—can identify it socially…I just don’t understand it. Hopefully, by the
end of this study…we both will.
Love
“Something needs to be made clear to the people who attempt to use the Hebraic-Christian
Bible to claim that 'God is all the love we need'. God walked with Adam in the Garden. They shared
a relationship that none of 'us' could ever hope for. It was even before the fall, their relationship was
whole. God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to
him.' He then created Woman.”
What is Love?
The English language is the third most widely spoken language on this planet13. Yet it’s
horribly inadequate when it comes to actually being able to convey some of the most trivial of
human emotions. Take the word ‘Joy’ for example. While we have several different words to convey
feelings close to joy…the word itself has a limited meaning in English. It is ultimately defined by
two separate words….’great pleasure’ and ‘happiness’. So, in essence…we are saying that we are so
happy that we are becoming filled with great pleasure….thus, we are joyful or full of joy. We have to
combine two words and make up a third to convey a single emotion. The Greeks however have at
least 1014 separate words that can be translated into our English ‘joy’….and since they all carry their
own particular meaning, they more adequately convey a wider range of emotions (all similar to
different degrees of joy) in a single word.
Love is no exception. While we struggle with our single word, love –“I love you, just not like
that.”—the Greeks have at least 14 words…all with distinct meanings. It’s a powerful language.
Agapeo: Love in a moral sense. Philagathos: Fond of good; love of
Agape: Love in its purest sense. good men.
Unconditional love. Philanthropia: Fondness of mankind;
Eros: Sexual love. love towards man.
Miseo: To detest; by extension, to Philarguria: Love of money.
love less. Philia (Phileo): To be a friend to;
Philadelphia: Fraternal affection; have affection for; --kiss; love.
love of the brethren. Platonic love.
Philadelphos: Fond of brethren; love Philoproteuo: To be fond of being
as brethren. first; --love to have preeminence.
Philandros: Fond of man; a wife’s Philoteknos: Fond of one’s children;
love of their husband. --love their children.
Storge: Family and friendship love.
Strong’s Greek Lexicon & TypesofLove.org
I would speculate that Americans, myself included; struggle in their relationships so much
due to their lack of an adequate way to verbally express themselves to each other. “I love books like a
fat-kid loves cake.” Or, simply put…I agapeo books, many philarguria.
While we lack a linguistic ability to communicate love to each other…many attempts have
been made to learn how to read the non-verbal cues that account for something between 60-90% of
our interpersonal communications. One of the attempts that I find applicable here is the work done
by Dr. Gary D. Chapman in his book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to
Your Mate. In his book he details how there are at least five identifiable ‘personalities’ in relation to
how we all deal with love. His claim, and I agree with him; is that if we can learn how to identify our
own ‘love language’ and then how to identify our significant others—we can learn how to better
communicate our personal expressions of love. The Five Love Languages are:
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. Like sheaves of corn he gathers
you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge
become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. When you love you should not
say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.)
On Marriage
Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?"
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
On Children
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children." And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go
swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable. )
Khalil Gibran © 1923
I follow the master with a few other great words on love…
"Jayadeva" "Dharmakirti"
When the fever is caused by her looks and her voice, When God made me, why did he then conspire
The treatment of choice To make her beauty? If both had to be,
Is a thrice-daily sip Why did he then make spring to wake desire?
Of her honey-sweet lip. Surely he made the spring to break
To avoid further harm, Men's hearts: but why then did he make
And to keep the heart warm, The mango blossom on the mango-tree?
This follow-up treatment is known to be best: A hundred times I learnt from my philosophy
The soothing and gentle warm touch of her breast. To think no more of love, this vanity,
(Professional secret, though—Careful to keep it so!) This dream, this source of all regret,
This emptiness.
"Bhartrhari" But no philosophy can make my heart forget
Of what use is the poet's poem, Her loveliness.
Of what use is the bowman's dart, If he had seen this dainty creature,
Unless another's senses reel Golden as saffron in every feature,
When it sticks quivering in the heart?... How could a high creator bear
...Her face is not the moon, nor are her eyes To part with anything so fair?
Twin lotuses, nor are her arms pure gold: Suppose he shut his eyes? Oh, no:
She's flesh and bone. What lies the poets told! How could he then have made her so?
Ah, but we love her, we believe the lies.... --Which proves the universe was not created:
...Philosophers are surely wrong to say Buddhist philosophy is vindicated.
That attributes in substance must inhere. Though she's the girl, I am the one who's shy;
Her beauty burns my heart; yet I am here, And though she walks with heavy hips, it's I
And she is far away.... Who cannot move for heaviness; and she
Who is the woman: but the coward, me.
She is the one with high and swelling breast,
But I the one with weariness oppressed.
Clearly in her the causal factors lie,
But the effects in me I wonder why!
It is based on these believes that I have devised a Code of Conduct for myself when in a
relationship.
• Give Her Space to be Her
• Never Go to Bed Angry...or Alone
• Never Ignore Her or Not respond to her
• Don't Talk Negative (KI2US)
• Never Hang Up, Especially Angry
• Make Her Smile At Least Once Every Day
• Love is Selfless....it's about her, not you
Remember though, “You may want them, while they only want to feel happy; You may love them, while they
only love how you make them feel.” This point brings me to my closing issue. Something very common
for the life of an Empath is to encounter and fall prey to compulsive liars, psychopaths, sociopaths,
and especially emotional & spiritual vampires. Simply put…we must protect ourselves, maybe more
than others in this regard. Empaths who fall prey to this sort of attack can quickly become
overloaded and suffer an imbalance in the flow of their Prana. Om Tat Sat.
Notes