Question: As parts of education, students should spend a period of time living in another

country to learn its language and culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In modern society, there is a popular claim that undergraduates should experience living in

foreign countries to learn about its diverse culture and languages. I determinedly support this

contention and several reasons are outlined in this essay.

(recommend: Undergraduates are encouraged to travel abroad which is of educationally

significant importance. I ardently concur with the concomitant benefits of this enlightening trips

including the linguistic competence and the multicultural immersion.)

First and foremost, it is evident that living abroad will provide students with the precious

opportunity to have their fluency of language well-trained. Particularly, their range of

vocabulary can be enhanced not only due to thanks to not only daily communications with local

people, but also the lectures presented by professional instructors in university. For instance,

native speakers in American, mostly teenagers and colleges, have the habit of using slang terms

which are definitely misunderstood by foreigners.

Another point worth noting is that students studying overseas also get a global mindset.

When they step outside their “comfort zone” to witness how people from others countries

perceive the world, their capacity of thinking on a global scale and “outside the box” will

undoubtedly be boosted. As a proof, in the final interview round, recruiters have conversation

with one or more interviewees. It is apparent that a person who has direct/first hand exposure

to different customs and languages will have a more outstanding performance than other

candidates if applying for a position in multinational firms. In other words, knowledge as well as

skills acquired from foreign countries, clearly, can be regarded as a competitive advantage.
 Admittedly, it is also true that people have a substantial amount of expenses to consider

when living and studying overseas. I reiterate however that this will not a big issue to concern

about thanks to scholarships and government subsidies. In particular, education at public

universities is purely tuition-free in German.

All in all, regardless of any points to the contrary, I can safely say that experience in others

developed countries will remain a lure to students which, ultimately, will no doubt influence on

their career.

Feedback: Your performance is applauded thunderously. =)) Just kidding!

Your thesis statement is not commensurate with your linguistic talent. It is not academic at all.

If you want to include the drawback of travelling abroad (the final paragraph of the body), you

must rewrite the thesis statement. If not, the last para of the body should be omitted and the

thesis statement should be nailed more. As usual, the lexical resource and the variety of

grammatical structures are your outstanding strengths. However, sometimes your writing

should be not only academic but also succinct. Attempt to balance. In my opinion, your score for

this writing should be 6.5 or 7.0.